#my aesthetic and personality get... complex XD

[beastsovrevelation]

Hi, for the ask game!

3, 5, 7

Hey! ^^

3🌼Are there any fictional characters you relate to/identify with? - Yes, quite a few! Though, a few I'd say are more like role models, than me being exactly like them right now. Dr. Faust, Odysseus, Mephisto, Lucifer (fictional as in from Paradise Lost, I don't consider mythological figures fictional characters, unless they literally are characters), Yasmine Amunet, Lilith Villaumbrosia, Sansa Stark, Wednesday Addams, Misty Quingley... And so on.

5🌼Do you have any plants? - Oh yes, I LOVE plants 🪴

🌼Describe your aesthetic in emojis. - 👿💀📚✨🌿👻🖤🤘🏻🧛🏻‍♀️🐈‍⬛🥀🌙✒⛧

[cool-mint]

Thank you for saving me that one time so in return can I get your top 3 Genshin and HSR characters and reasons if you’d like to share? :3

Aw thank you, I would be happy to share! <33 it's so hard because I love so many of them BUT. I will do my best! I'll try to be brief but I'll put it under a cut just in case >w<

Genshin Top 3:

1. Xingqiu! He's such a fun character and I've had him on my team almost since launch when I started playing, he has a lot of similarities in personality to myself when I was in high school, so I can relate to him pretty well. (I had a Chongyun friend, too!) Anyway I love his design and he's SO USEFUL, he was my first triple-crowned character! I just think he's neat *holds him up like Simba in the Lion King*

2. Dottore.......I didn't read the webcomic or see the Winter Night's Lazzo or anything like that until after Sumeru, so I was completely blindsided by him?? I'm a sucker for intellectual antagonists and he's so pretty...I love his voice and his aesthetic and he's such a complex character with so many facets! I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS ABOUT HIM...they will not get answered I think, but with enough info I'm sure I can infer my own...I love his webtoon design too, I'm not just in it for his game look!

3. Zhongli! First character I saw in-game that I looked at and went immediately, "I have to have him..." He's the only character I've actually spent money on (I do an occasional Welkin Moon but I was Determined to have Zhongli) and I don't have any regrets. Like Xingqiu, he's practically never left my team! I love him so much, silly old man <33

Can I pretty please give an honorable mention to Paimon? I get the impression she's not well-liked but I adore her and I just feel like I need to say that!!

HSR Top 3:

1. WELT. I started playing because I saw Welt and thought "I have to have that man" and he was my FIRST FIVE STAR LMAO he heard me!! He's always on my team! He reminds me of my husband in huge ways (so do the others, my favorite male characters tend to share qualities with him but Welt is like. it's the same picture.).

2. Dr. Ratio! The way he talks is fantastic, I haven't played too much of HSR beyond the main story up to Penacony (I'll get to that in a sec) so I don't know all his backstory and such yet but he's pretty and smart, which appeals very much! Having him in combat seriously cracks me up, I love listening to his lines! I quote him around the house sometimes :3

3. Sunday is why I speed ran everything up until Penacony xD I had done just enough of the game to get and play around with Welt and then stopped for a while, then I saw Sunday, and dove right back in >w> I think his character is fascinating and I'm still only partway through his post-Penacony quest, but I'm so curious about how he works. I love how principled he is, and his point of view is interesting. Another complex character I'm very interested in!

[localsharkcryptid]

For the bingo, c!Dteam. Sapnap, George, and Dream

Ah the full trio let's GO! All these are color coded as well cause I CAN

George, good ol goggy, I can't say I have too many thoughts about him alone (my xdnf/XD thoughts are for another day cause OH BOY) but I do absolutely love the hardcore mushroom aesthetic. In general I don't have a set design for him yet in my mind but the options are plentiful and FUN, though usually I take my buddy moff's route and go for a mooshroom vibe. I do think he's a interesting character though I'm just not as well versed with him. ^^

Sapnap my beloved little idiot, I'm very partial to him cause of my own design thoughts (which are pretty average/stereotypical but I do give him a fun blade tail :]) and headcanons but personally I think Sap's lore is VERY underappreciated!! It's really good and has a very interesting progression too it that feels very realistic for what all goes down in the end!!! He's a guy who's so often caught in the middle of personal conflicts and god it's interesting, also don't even get me started on him and Punz being narrative foils to eachother cause MMM GOOD SHIT. Also he's fuckin stupid/pos for making the death pact with XD, going off of the death pact rules the real reason Sapnap finale didn't happen was because of Dream & Punz testing the revival book, the MOMENT Dream lost his final life man just dropped dead. Great job guys.

And last but not least, the most controversial one of them all, Dreammmm!!! My view of this guy has done a full 180 since I joined the fandom (thanks dreblr) and I can truthfully say that I love his character these days! I think there's so much to be done with the fact that we never see his pov and how he's written that's so underutilized. He's an insanely compex character and honestly it's now a red flag for me if I see people just not even try to characterize him with any form of complexity. There's sooo much going on with him and he deserves so much better in terms of fandom treatment. Also in general his character is so fuckin INTERESTING with his like psychology and how he thinks, his overarching story is so so good.

My personal design for him is a chimera, he has feline, mammal and serpentine traits in my mind for a fun best of all world type of design - and one that inherently plays into how he's often viewed within the story from the other characters (ya know unbeatable monster and all that shit - not unlike the nature of The Chimera, though in Dream's case it is very much a facade). I still don't actually know what his smile mask looks like with my design but eh I'll get to it eventually! Also for a silly headcanon I will share, I have the idea that post prison arc he has a little Siamese cat named Boots for company, who will also be getting his own post cause boots means soooo much to me.

[thebarefootking]

Francesco Akira 🤩💚🔥

Oh, you picked one I have complex opinions on. But you probably knew that already. xD

Akira is one of my favorite juniors on the New Japan roster. The things he does well are things I really value, and he does them in ways I find aesthetically delightful. I love the way he moves in the ring. His (very consistent!) crossbody is one of my favorites in Japan, possibly anywhere, and I popped so hard when he did one off the balcony and onto most of the War Dogs and UE together that one time that I didn't even notice how he got up there in the first place, and had to rewind. He has pretty awesome ring chemistry with Despe, who is one of my favorite faves. (It's hard to genuinely fuck up wrestling with Despe, but Akira makes it look especially good, at least for a non-luchador.) The latest UE arc shows he can really carry a story when the ball gets passed his way. His cleverness in leveraging his work experience against his gimmick to create emotional tension absolutely takes me out. A woobie young babyface who also has the willingness and know-how to let the heels make a mess of him for our sympathies absolutely has my vote. And even what it looks like he doesn't have a lot of experience with in the ring, he figures out pretty quickly, and improves on in leaps and bounds for the next time. He makes it look decent, and then he makes it look awesome. As a monolingual person, I feel like a shithead commenting on his English diction on the mic. He has the chops to make a promo look good, and even to make it sound convincing and genuine (which are really the more important parts to me), but I'd be lying if I said that my inability to understand what the hell he's trying to say hasn't left me very confused on occasion. My auditory processing isn't great at the best of times, but with his accent, somewhat-broken English, and difficulty finding the words he's looking for, it can be a serious challenge for me to follow what he's saying. He's gotten better over time, especially in the form of speaking a little more clearly and loudly. But, as someone without much experience in learning other languages I don't know how much improvement is realistic for me to hope for from someone who has already been working in a primarily non-Italian setting for as long as he has. Like. I'm not learning a second language because it's more or less cognitively impossible for me to get to a functional level in speaking one. Languages are fucking hard. So I don't hold this against him on, like, a personal level.

But if he can improve on this, I think it would help his career a hell of a lot, and would be a really good place to focus some attention. I also don't know how compelling I find his current gimmick as a standalone. He's clearly still working on hitting his stride and walking the line between 'fiery ass-kicker' and 'adorable woobie' (and it's very funny when TJ has to visibly pull him back when he strays a little too far). Unless he can *really* nail that balance, which isn't a simple one, I don't know if the gimmick is sustainable as a solo endeavor. And I would love for him to achieve solo success.

[lunariamv]

about me :>

so i just realized i cant just be some random person posting stuff without much context..... so here we go

┊⠀┊   ┊⠀┊

┊ ˚➶ ｡˚     ✧

˚✧

hi, my name is lunaria, or luna ^^

˚✧ some grill that wants to be a artist, writer, and maybe like a lowkey game dev

˚✧ i consume a lot of media: video games, anime, yt, movies, tv shows, books, fanfics, etc

˚✧ i really love the impact media and stories have on the world and people, and there's a lot i love, but also there's a lot out there that frustrates me, or feels like it's missing something, so i wanna throw my hat into the ring and make my own content for me and other girls like me <3

˚✧ atm i write fanfics to practice writing and build an audience, and i draw fanart to improve art skill, also just so i have an art portfolio,,,, cuz if i just started posting games without much of a background i feel like ppl are gonna be like,, "who tf is this???" lol

⊹˚. game dev??? ⊹˚.

i'm really interested in making my own games, specifically rpg maker ones because rpg maker/rpg horror/indie horror is my fav genre (pewdiepie's misao gameplay was my first horror game ever <3); i just love retro horror style a lot

so i'm practicing pixel art and stuff and then later i want to learn some 日本語 so i can translate the games, and also learn to make music so i can go full toby fox lol

and then maybe later on if i got rlly ambitious and had a lot of money id make fancy otome games, manga, fancy horror games, and pERSONA FOR GIRLS

i have a lot of ideas for diff series and id love to share them all <3

⊹˚. my inspirations: ⊹˚.

˚✧ game wise: currently my inspirations are charon (of those yan charon games) and dsp (ik they go by a different name now but that's what i know them as, also its funny because the name reminds me of darksydephil HAHAHA); i like the retro pixel and slight horror themes and aesthetic of their games, but i dislike the writing, so i'm gonna make my own :D

also i like the idea of an oc multiverse like dsp's so i want that too

toby fox is also technically an inspiration too; i wanna learn music so i can make my own bangers with little references and leitmotifs for fun :>>>

˚✧ writing wise: i have a lot, but my main inspirations are mostly like writing in the anime-ish games; danganronpa, persona, ace attorney, yttd, kakegurui; psychological stuff where you gotta think about them, but they also have unique quirky characters and they interact with each other in creative ways

also horror and psychological, i like writing about scary stuff and characters with their complexities, and addressing the rlly messed up parts of humanity and society bc its spooky;; sometimes with a very dark nihilistic outlook bc i love angst, or sometimes with an optimistic one

((thats kinda why i like yan stories but more in the horror sense, like look at all the crazy scary stuff this person is doing lol))

but for characters in general, i like stuff with FEMCS <33333 persona 3 with ya girl kotone shiomi, danganronpa v3 with kaede, sara in your turn to die, genshin lumine, and that one part in ace attorney where we get to play as mia fey

that's also why i lowkey like the writing in romcom/chick flick movies, cuz its just unique characters and stories and usually has a female protag or a group of girls as the mcs

LIKE MISS CONGENIALITY, MEAN GIRLS, AND LEGALLY BLONDE I LOVE THOSE MOVIES SM AND I HAVE MILLIONS MORE EXAMPLES BUT WE'D BE HERE FOREVER

but aside from heavy and horror stories, i also like simple cute straightforward stories like older barbie movies XD (or winx, mlp, bratz, monster high…); they're just really wholesome and cute where ya girl goes on a magical adventure with quirky characters and learns good lessons like trust, courage, friendship, etc…

ITS MUSHY BUT I LOVE IT AAAAA

so my main theme is being a girl and doing stuff, bc girlbossing is fun

but ya know i like making hot guy characters too wwwww

⊹˚. my art/writing style ⊹˚.

i'd say in general its like a mix of asian themes with western; its like anime but with western elements in it

i'd also sometimes like to explore other cultures too, kinda like how jjba has varying characters bc that's cool;; but if i have characters with varying nationalities its because i want to, not bc a woke person held me at gunpoint

⊹˚. aesthetics ⊹˚.

i have a lot that i like, but here's my main favorites i guess that will be in my things

˚✧ cute + edgy; melanie martinez, lucy loone, yandere, ddlc;; basically anything where you juxtapose cutesy with scary horror -- its so fun and subversive

˚✧ femcel/female sigma/doomer girl/anti-egirl; LANA DEL REY LANA DEL REY bc i'm a sad girl

˚✧ retro things; 80s and 90s but mostly early 2000s stuff; early internet, old stuff, y2k, scene/emo, mcbling -- huge emphasis on mcbling, i love the girly hedonistic aspects of it -- ayesha erotica, panty and stocking, bad girls club;; that aesthetic i love it sm LETS DO OUR NAILS AND PARTY ^^^^^^

˚✧ internet horror stuffs -- indie horror, analog horror, internet mysteries, meta horror, local58, mandela catalogue, fnaf, creepypastas, liminal spaces

˚✧ then some internet guy stuff -- vaporwave, cyberpunk, blade runner, hotline miami, madness combat, carpenter brut, etc -- i'm tomboyish in this regard xd, i fangirl over guns and edgy sigma guys fighting

⊹˚. extra stuff about me (bc who tf r u >_>) ⊹˚.

writes a character bio

˚✧ name: luna

˚✧ some randy girl that likes to make stuff

˚✧ not rlly a weeb but i like asian culture a lot, japanese, chinese, korean, vietnamese, thai, laos, filipino (yes), etc

˚✧ sigma?? i think people should be rewarded based on talent and skill, rather than their identity. if i am successful, its because my work is good, not because i am a minority. i'm also learning to draw, write, make music, etc because i want to make content without having to rely on others for assets. why ask other people if i can do it myself? B)

˚✧ i like cute things and being girly, like dressing up and having stuffed animals and cute stationary everywhere :> if i have a chance to be extra and decorate something, i will take it in a heart beat

˚✧ i'm a stocking kin, i love sweets, cake specifically, and milk tea (im addicted to boba its horrible T-T)

˚✧ i like tea, i drink 2-3 cups a day :) oolong is my fav atm

˚✧ cat >>>>

˚✧ unhealthy attraction to fictional men… currently thirsting over tohru adachi 💀💀💀 LOL my friends are like "eww wtf is wrong with you???" i must be a raccoon because i really love garbage

☸ my links ☸

all my links are on caard, but here's an organized list of the main ones; my tumblr will be my main hub for stuff i guess; the degree of activity ranges ;-;

˚☸ art stuff

✧ newgrounds (i wanna be a newgrounds girl tbh)

✧ twitter

✧ insta

✧ tiktok

˚☸ writing stuff (fanfictions)

✧ quotev

✧ wattpad

✧ archive

˚☸ oc archive

✧ deviantart (bc im too lazy to code toyhouse atm)

also apologies if i dont respond to things fast enough, im shy

˚☸ dividers by cafekitsune

[theswitchsteinenigma]

“Well how do I sign off on this?”

“Well this is switch’s ideas alone so switch.”

Wtf did I mean by that??? My inner dialogue gets a little too strong sometimes like I arguing and conversing with myself is an understatement. But I all I can say is this is switched page and switches ideas alone.

Switch being me. I’m switch. I just have a lot of nicknames but you all here will know me as SwitchStein, switch for short but not stein that’s a different story.

Anyways I’ve been sewing a reversible purse out of a pair of shorts. It’s so cool. I fucking hate sewing zippers so it has a lot of clasps buttons and Velcro. Ironically the pattern is drawings of gold chains but all the actual metal hardware on the purse itself is gun metal black,? It has belt loops and I think I’m gonna give it a real belt and put a ridiculous belt buckle on it. Just because I can 🤪 and of course I’m a hoarder so I have a handful of belt buckles and belts already now the issue is finding them.

I’d like to explain my art and how I do things as much as possible until the inevitable happens. Idk life is a crazy thing and an even weirder thing as an artist. A scarier thing as a starving artist lol. I’m moving at the end of the month so if you want anything from me now is the time to get it.

I’m moving at the end of August so any orders placed before the 20th should be out by the 30th anything placed after will be worked on but won’t be out until September I’m always on my phone and always able to update if you feel like I’m taking to long feel free to bug me I’ll drop what I’m doing if you bug me XD just don’t be mean I’m a person and an artist not Amazon. 😘🫶

The most comprehensive list of things you can commission from me for the time being.

Traditional art: pen pencil colored pencils marker on paper, can be laminated or turned into stickers.

Digital art: icons, profile pics, banner art, full page art, comic panels, refrence sheets, furries, people, weird things

Jewelry: rings, bracelets, necklaces, earrings, in a variety of materials like plastic pony beads, glass beads, big and small beads, chains and charms, wire rings and gem wrapping, home made pendants, keychains I like to make more complex layered maximalist jewelry but I can make simple stuff too

Custom clay beads in almost any shape customize sizes number of holes or hooks colors finished ect ect

Custom Gotcha pouch curation: give me an aesthetic I quote you a price you get a clear gatcha pouch keychain full of art and trinkets and other matching keychains I can do this for licensed characters and original characters

Custom clothes: tshirts: dying and bleaching patterns and art as well as full paintings, small embroidery, battle vests and jackets, patches, flannels with custom back panel patches or paintings, paintings on denim jeans or shorts, purses and bags made out of jeans pants or any sort of odd alterations. You can send me items and I can turn them into stuffed animals or purses or you can tell me what you want I’ll find it and quote you and go buy it and alter it.

Oulfit curation/ personal shopping: I can build oulfits, cup accessory bundles, nerdy collection bundles. Want a whole new goth wardrobe with matching keychains and vinyl skull panda figure collection but don’t feel like spending hours finding those things give me a few perfect details and I could build you carts across multiple platforms and place orders and ship them all to you in one night one transaction for you instead of 100’s and all the same fun online purchases.

Okay that’s all for now.

Switch

[izartn]

I'm craving good het romance, as one does from time to time. Where do I find good fantasy not only romance het pairings. Where is my queer het plot!!!

Has anyone some book or manga recs? Preferably something finished please, I don't want to suffer waiting to the author to complete or abandon the story or of they're gonna be canon XD

EDIT after list is written: Okay. This post has officially become my list of what kind and why of het pairings I like. You've been officially warned. (Also a rec list of what to read/watch?) Trying to avoid spoilers.

Also more than half of this list is about teen me readings, I really need to seek out books and Manga bc wow. Very teen me, and I think that I've outgrown their canons even if the ship dynamic is also that still compels me.

I like:

CANON

El/Orion from the Scholomance. Whenever Orion gets a bit of focus I'm just. Oh wow (if you read between the lines he's so simple and so fucking unhinged at the same time). El extremely denying any vibes until last moment, but also falling extremely hard. Them both being such a battle couple/pair in general.

Whatever you can call what Agatha has going on with her two beaus in Girl Genius. They're all three of them so crazy competent and gone for each other too.

Yona/Hak and her vibes with Soo-won too (that foils thing she has with him is perfect and usually handled to male charas only, I'm biting my arm) (the loyalty thing with Hak and the way he pulls her higher too) (just the frustrated ot3 vibes of it all).

Jang Uk and Naksu|Cho Yeong in season 1. Their devoted and unhinged vibes destroyed me, I loved them. They were perfect, they only needed a bit more physicality. Season 2 defanged Yeong way way too much (in favor of uwu and blegh, let the woman cut off heads) and I didn't like the postponed angst and romance without knowing her identity.

Iron Widow OT3, which look. Wu Zetian rules even when she misses and nukes a city and everything is fantastically creepy and the guys lovely developed charas too with very different personalities and backstories

Tana and Gavriel from the Coldest Girl in Coldtown. (and this one also has threesome vibes with Aiden, uh) I like it when she is driven to do whatever it needs doing be it save her ex or her sister, or killing an ancient vampire in the company of another midly crazed vamp who is also very devoted to her and rediscovering life. Also the whole aesthetic and vibes of this one fucks.

Kate and August in Monsters of Verity duology. Dark dystopic urban fantasy and monster/human plus tragedy plus narrativelt active morally complex fem protags? I was obssesed with it when it came out.

Kaguya and Shirogane, but specifically if they weren't so innocent. Their chemistry is super fun, but I want something a bit more grown up and less teen panic. See also, me at 11 being obssesed with Blair/Chuck vibes in season 1 and 2 of Gossip Girl.

I'm on a roll. I loved Gilbert/Anne both in the 80's series and in Anne with an e. Obvious rivals to lovers where the guy respects her intelligence and she also has to have a whole arc about herself before realising she likes him.

I remember being bewitched by Lyra and Will once upon a time when I read the Golden Compass trilogy. Same re:Nathaniel and Kitty from Bartimaeus despite these two never having comfirmed anything just tragic unfulfilled potential.

Bipa and Aer from La Emperatriz de los Etéreos de Laura Gallego; theyre my fave pairing of hers and one of the only ones I didn't grew distant from as I grew out of her books. She's so practical and also kind and warm hearted, and he has the head on the clouds and is also completely out of this world in a familiar way. (this is me identitying with the guy who only appears like. A quarter of the whole novel bc he has been trying to give himself over to a lovecraftian alien soul-eater blue star while Bipa has to do all the journey to bring him back and destroy said blue star). Laura Gallego is wild.

NOT CANON

Younger me also enjoyed Artemis/Holly, not sorry at all for that one. He's so gone for her as a person and she's so out of his league (bc of their ages, bc of their species, their incompatible moralities up to the last books, etc, etc). Unfulfilled longing that makes you want to be a better person, the ship.

Soul/Maka on the other hand have super married vibes despite nothing ever being official and I love them and want to set on fire all the fic there's is about them bc it's general romcom / modern setting without that battle partnership and soul trust + domesticity I love. Also extremely teen but alas.

Yatori from Noragami bc I love tragedy specifically and human/gods relationships are fascinating. Even if it's unfinished. Even if it's out of focus somewhat.

Bellamy/Clarke from the 100 for all of the three seasons I saw before abandoning the series. The plot was unsmokeable but their relationship perfectly done. I was resigned to a boring romance with Finn and bam. Complex relationships, Clarke being bi with Lexa, parallel leaderships arcs, etc. Oh wow.

When someone bothers to write Aredhel/Celegorm on her PoV and it hits incredibly HARD. Damn. Whether aroallo or full-romo. Let post rebirth Aredhel be wild and Celegorm reckon with the knowledge of what wrong he almost brought to Luthien given Aredhel. Aredhel loving Lomion despite everything and loving disaster Celegorm, but not forgetting what they did, the awkward bonding between Maeglin and Celegorm as two former bad guys. Or them avoiding a bad ending and dying together fighting on the First Age before the Second Kinslaying. Playful times in Valinor pre-darkening.

ESPECIAL MENTION

I loved Laini Taylor characters and worldbuilding but her love at first sight kind of romances left me cool which is sad given I liked like everything else about her stories. Including the two characters involved on the romances, but not the romances per se. I guess I'm too aroace to believe first sight as anything reasonable in a serious plot even with the fairy tale vibes her stories have lol.

I also love Reylo vibes and symbolism but hated what they did on the last movie with them and I'm weirdly unable to read much fic of them. So...

[elvenbeard]

I'M SO RIDICULOUSLY HAPPY RN IT'S UNREAL

ehehehehehe, summer vibes intensify :3 I'm not done with this just yet, I wanna put them both in the more colourful patterned versions of these shirts (once I've decided on who gets which XD) but yes.... I'm so happy!!! Some silly intermediate progress pics and rambles below the cut!

Dad Shirts by @pinkyjulien 💛 Sweater for Nibbles

SO. My whole thought process behind this really was "cute summer pics with Vince and Kerry :3" but none of Kerry's default outfits scream "summer vibes" to me. Also maybe I just wanted to put him in the ridiculously short hotpants, because I love the look on Vince xD

Sooo... this is my first time making an NPC appearance though, so tutorial time! Super nice to follow and beginner friendly, even though WolvenKit is still overwhelming af. But at least at this point things are starting to make more sense to me than they did two days ago xD

Now, after fiddling and testing and trying and following the tutorial just fine (messing up a few times because apparently I can't read as well as I thought), I ended the night with this:

Right shirt, wrong colour, couldn't figure out how to change it XD But a good start! Also put him in his 2023 shoes and pants, because the hotpants and sandals, even though both vanilla, weren't cooperating in the way I thought. Basically..... invisible legs and feet Kerry, which was funny, but not the look I was going for xD I think... maybe it had something to do with the appearance I used as a base? But your guess is as good as mine, I decided to call it a night and start over from scratch with a different, less complex appearance as base XD I still love the vibes of this look though, I might play around with it a bit more :3

Several fruitless attempts later, I finally ended up with this! xD For some reason I lost his face cyberware somewhere along the way though, but fuck yeah, he has legs and feet again! And stole V's shirt, again!!! (god I'm so so so happy now that I know how this works, I'm gonna make him so many outfits with that shirt. the storytelling opportunities!!!)

While I was fiddling with V's T-shirt I figured out how easy it is to change mesh appearances by pure accident xD So, put the dadshirt mesh back in, change mesh-appearance to the colour I want and BAM! Success!! I was jumping around in my chair like an idiot but yes... I'm so happy rn XD Tired, but happy, and a tiny bit smarter about all this than before.

What I love about this outfit, besides the aesthetics (TM): He's wearing his dangly jewelry, which a lot of custom outfits I've come across don't seem to have, but I love the chonky gold chains a lot (so does Vince, they're good for grabbing >:3). And he's wearing one modded clothing item (dad shirt), one player item (hotpants, definitely borrowed from Vince), and his own flip flops from the bathrobe outfit xD

Finally, accurate picture of me trying to do learn this with the trial and error method:

But hey... it worked :D Probably not... in the cleanest way, I'm sure the way I snuck in that dad shirt is more the Bethesda "it just works" approach, but eh... since this is for my own personal fun times and not for anyone else to ever look at, I'll take it XDD

[hirazuki]

For the villain ask! Jin Guangyao (I am assuming you've seen some iteration of mdzs based on the occasional like I get from you) so either him or Naraku?

I saw season 1 of mdzs when it first aired but haven't really paid any attention since, know nothing beyond what was included in that first season, and it's been so long that all I really remember is that WW is a necromantic chaotic gremlin and I love him, and JC is basically Hijikata, thus I love him too... so let's go with Naraku! XD

Evil and fucking love it | A Whiny psycho | Really Dumb motive | Cool motive still murder | I don’t know enough to rate them | They have a point but they are a dick about it | Road to hell paved with good intentions | They are in the right here | Look if it were me I’d have been So MUCH worse | How are they not the hero? | Yea, I’m routing for the villain.

Evil, but as in. like. an aesthetic. Evil in terms of how he presents himself and his commitment to his role, rather than in terms of an innate quality of his being. I'm sure you know this already lol, but I really don't like using that word as a moral signifier (just like I don't really like using the word "good" either; well-developed characters, just like people, are more complex than that and it has always seemed dismissive of that fact to me), and when I do use it, it's usually reserved for characters that aren't considered villains by the narrative XD (like Sarutobi Hiruzen, for instance).

Definitely has some major whiny moments!! (I don't care for the "psycho" part though, especially since he's got legit grounds to be like that imo; like any entity that was constructed in such a manner, he can't help his nature). He absolutely has a point -- I differentiate between Naraku and Onigumo, and completely understand and respect Naraku's desire to be rid of what remained of Onigumo in him -- but is also very much a dick about it. And, while he's awful about things, I think we all know that, at the very least, I'd be on the same level, if not worse lmao. I cannot imagine existing with my personality/mental state and also battling with identity/sense of self on not only a psychological but a literal, physical level, where I was comprised of an amalgam of creatures and regularly had to contend with deconstructing into them?? I. would. go. insane. Props to him for hanging on as long as he did.

Also, makeup and overall aesthetic vibe? 🔥🔥🔥🔥

(fyi. the "cool motive still murder" is gonna be crossed out on these because I hate that phrase with every particle of my being. Blame vld trauma compounding my inherent distaste of the concept.)

[cait-sith]

Three quick doodles of character ideas for a ttrpg game.

I ended up going with the paint-splash one, since I figured it would be fun to play something a bit out of my usual design comfort zone. The setting was something magic-steampunky with industrial + victorian era aesthetics, with the core idea being that all written information prior to a certain point was destroyed and the only surviving information was in the form of art.

I'll put some rough information on each idea below, though in order they are: Painter Historian, Medcanic, Factory Worker. I hope to maybe get to play the others in another game someday, I got rather attached to them all. XD

Painter Historian - Named Creativity, a somewhat strange person from beyond the Emerald Sea, the huge forest that parts the continent. They hail from an elven university, and have come to this city to study it's paintings in the hopes of deciphering more of the world's history. Their life's work is to create a way of conveying complex information in art, a kind of language which hopefully will be capable of preserving information through another literature purge. Their anatomy seems to not quite fit their body, not clearly belonging to any particular species and they get fatigued easily, hence the crutches.

Medcanic - There's little difference between humans and machines as far as this character is concerned. When something's broken, you just need to know how to fix it. Though admittedly humans complain a lot more. This character works on the airships that traverse the Emerald Sea, ensuring that both passenger and vehicle arrive at their destination safely. She lost her legs in a crash and now wears double prosthetics.

Factory Worker - Being small, compact and dextrous, this fellow often finds himself put on the most dangerous jobs, climbing into the great machines that keep the industry running, smeared in coal and oil. His wrench is oversized even for human hands, let alone his Halfling ones and quite heavy, a fact a few knees have experienced. Usually a little gruff but friendly, he has little patience for nonsense, an iron set of morals and a short fuse with abuse of authority. Despite that, he's efficient at his job but has no love for the people running the factory and can often be found in the midst of many of the conflicts sparking up among the workers.

[bloo-the-dragon]

How about your boi Reala? (Idk if I spelled that right-)

You. You get me.

First impression:

Oh yeah this guy’s gonna be the bad boy jackass character of the fandom isn’t he LOL

I’m not ashamed to admit i was sold on his character even before i got into watching the full game walkthrough x’D gremlin characters are one of my biggest weaknesses, and i knew he was gonna be one of Those Types (little did i know he wouldn’t be the only one HJKSDF)

I definitely recall though i preferred his NiD design over his JoD design, like the JoD design is fine and all (i like the venice carnival theme with the persona mask) but the NiD attire fit with the clown aesthetic that has been giving me brain worms for the last year or so LOL

I was more attached to NiGHTS at first ngl but i found Reala to be a fun counterpart! I was also super happy when Reala referred to NiGHTS as his sibling because that instantly made their dynamic and potential backstory (which i was not yet fully aware of) much more interesting to me.

Impression now:

SON!!!

GREMLIN!!

ANGRY CAT!!

ALL THE ABOVE AND MORE-

I am VERY MUCH IN LOVE WITH HIS CHARACTER!!

No not in a self-ship romance way because i am ace/aro but even then i don’t mean in love with the character but i’m in love with how he is portrayed as a character, what with the backstory and everything!

Despite the fact his backstory and character is not fully explored or developed in the canon games (lookin’ at you especially JoD) the few tidbits we did get were enough to really spike my interest in learning more about Reala and NiGHTS’ shared past, and their relationship before NiGHTS’ defected. BUT ONCE AGAIN THE FANDOM PROVIDES and with that little info we did get, the fandom managed to expand on it with headcanons and other fun stuff and built Reala into a very interesting and complex character with a very heavy burden on his shoulders-

Favorite moment:

Man how do i CHOOSE-

Nah actually i gotta admit the scene in JoD with Helen falling through the portal Reala made with that ridiculous scream and Reala giggling his head off has to be my favourite because of how heckin HILARIOUS it is! x’D

But if i were to pick one also for NiD specifically, i’d say the entire boss fight with NiGHTS. :)

Idea for a story:

Ohhhhh i’ve had ideas galore for this guy HFJKDF

Specifically post-games where i’ve entertained ideas on how he and NiGHTS would slowly mend that broken bond, because even though Reala finally agreed to take his siblings side, doesn’t mean he isn’t still affected by past hurts and betrayals which would take a long time to heal.

Any ideas i have had though would all take place within the Theatre with Balan and Lance, because i love the idea the maestro brothers would play a big part in aiding in the mending of NiGHTS and Reala’s relationship. Originally i had thought on going the route with Lance working with Reala and Balan working with NiGHTS because their personalities seem to match each other-

BUT THEN! I figured it would actually be A LOT MORE INTERESTING if Balan worked with Reala and Lance worked with NiGHTS!

Balan works with Reala in helping to fix his trust issues, and help him heal from his traumas too as a result from suffering under Wizeman for so long. And the idea that Balan radiates this warming energy that just puts Reala more at ease, and makes him feel more safe and therefore more willing to open up i feel just works.

(NiGHTS on the other hand, i think would benefit from Lance’s aid because NiGHTS would have bottled up all his guilt over his defection and Lance would help him contront that guilt on how his actions had very real consequences in regards to how it affected his siblings, by bringing it out and helping NiGHTS to deal with it and overcome it)

Unpopular opinion:

Once again i had to ponder this one for a while because i don’t really think there is anything i outright disagree with a majority on. Most of what i disagree with many already are the same so it’s hard to really say xD

I guess his JoD design could count though... i’m not a big fan of it xD (aside from the persona mask) he looks more like a samurai/soldier than the jester he’s supposed to be which i guess does work in it’s own way when we consider how he’s trying to fulfil the role of general for Wizeman’s army and it’s a role he was never truly designed for, so it clearly clashes with his overall theme.

Favorite relationship:

Obviously his sibling relationship with NiGHTS and Jackle xD NiGHTS i’ve already gone into detail a bit, but Jackle also because i love the idea that after NiGHTS left Jackle was the only support Reala had left, and thats what kept him mostly stable during the events of NiD. But come the time of JoD, Jackle is no longer around (not dead but hiding from Wizeman whilst also searching for a new home for his siblings which i will mention is a hc of mine so don’t take it as being actual canon fact xD) and so he no longer has that support around to keep him grounded. But unlike NiGHTS, Reala understands why Jackle had to go into hiding and in fact even encouraged it!

Didn’t make things any easier for him though, and it would have definitely had an impact. (History always seems to repeat itself in one way or another doesn’t it)

Favorite headcanon(s):

I love the idea that NiGHTS and Reala, being twins were never truly meant to be separated which is why when NiGHTS defected it had such a devastating effect of Reala in the long term. Jackle being around in the beginning helped delay the worst of the emotional impact it had on Reala, and perhaps part of him at first thought NiGHTS would still come back, he’s always been rebellious afterall.

(Spoiler alert - he never came back)

Also i am 100% on board with the idea Reala was never truly evil. Being a nightmaren and following his natural instinct to gather ideya aside, he’s just doing what he must because he wants to please Wizeman, please his master, his creator his father-

This combined with the idea that of the two twins, NiGHTS was the favourite it really pushes on why Reala (at least in JoD) seems so intensly keen on being as loyal to Wizeman as he can, in both his dress and his actions. But i also enjoy the take that he was never truly jealous of NiGHTS being the favourite, but he wanted to be up there with his twin in daddy’s spotlight as his two most precious children. He wanted to share that with his twin, his other half, his sibling.

Really hits harder when you remember that NiGHTS eventually defected and abandoned him (the latter coming from Reala’s perspective) and instead of Wizeman’s gaze looking to Reala as the new favourite instead he see’s him as a new means to vent his frustration.

Which coincides well with the headcanon First Levels can’t be killed, not even by Wizeman himself. Gotta wonder where Reala got all those scars afterall.

[novantinuum]

🔥 Steven (I wanted to say something else but I was starved for ideas and almost said "whatever you wanna ramble about" XD)

Send me a flame to get my honest opinion on a topic. (No overt discourse, though.)

My honest opinion is that Steven is- at this moment- my favorite fictional character as a whole.

And I have quite a few reasons for that.

1) His design is friggin’ cute.

Just. Damn. Look at the son. So babey. So fun to draw. So aesthetically pleasing as a piece of cartoon design.

2) He’s a male protagonist who is fat, loves “traditionally feminine” things like pink and skirts and wedding scrapbooks (+ etc.), and whose whole overall sense of character centers around pacifistic conflict resolution. There’s very, very few pieces of media that ever bless me with all of these characteristics at once, and do so in a very satisfying way that never once shames the character for expressing them.

3) On every single rewatch, I discover more and more emotional layers with him.

I think it can often be easy to not notice the nuances of his emotional development early on in the show with all the rest of the set-up that’s happening, but it’s there, and it breaks my heart. There’s lines in as early as Laser Light Canon that blatantly suggest he’s already got deep-rooted insecurity about possibly not being able to control his Gem powers like the others... fears of being “useless” to everyone, of not truly being part of the team.

And that initial insecurity of “I can’t be useless” blossoms and develops throughout the entire show, to the point he’s at in SUF where he’s become an overworked busybody who’s obsessed with helping others with their problems because he’s intertwined the idea of being “useful to others” with his core identity. If he’s not being useful, if he’s not doing SOMETHING to aid another Gem or human, then who the hell is he now? What’s his purpose?

It’s just some really, really consistent characterization that matures and gains complexity as he ages, and I love that.

4) Zach Callison is an amazing VA.

Dang, there’s so many good line deliveries spread throughout this entire show. And guy’s got some pipes. He downright blessed us in the movie.

‘Nuff said.

5) It’s really interesting to muse about how on earth his biology works. Hybrid stuff is really funky. And as a scientist, I go ape for thinking about scenarios where alien and human anatomy overlap and work together.

6) In literally any piece of media, my personal favorites all have one thing in common: they’re (for whatever reason) always people with martyr complexes who go through literal hell throughout their lives and yet deep down, still remain some of the kindest souls you could ever wanna meet.

7) Diamond eyes, tho.

8) Worm Kaiju form.

Even if this form is a whole trauma-related thing, I just think he’s neat. After all my hours poured into wild theorizing back at a time when this seemed like a pipe dream, I’m happy to see him even for one episode. :D

That’s it. There’s my main reasons. I’m done. XD

[shijiujun]

[END 2020] My Fave Taobao Buys This Year!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHA this is also a part of my Round Up list for the year, along with my danmei recs here.

2020 has really been Taobao year for me I literally buy every single month?!!! I NEED TO STAHP but with with all the new danmei books and TGCF merch coming out, I really need to... idk, delete the app so I buy once every 3 months instead of every month next year ;-;

But in any case, this are my fave buys of the year if anyone is interested, there are dumb things and there are cute things, but mostly, they’re not expensive things at least XD

Product links in comments!

-------

1. ContemporaryMini Mamianqun - I’d love to get a long one, lord knows I’ve seen @leonzhng​ in some nice mmqs, but I know I probably wouldn’t wear em out too often so I got the mini one!

2. Confidential Roller Stamp - REALLY USEFUL especially if you receive a lot of packages/letters? I used to have to cut out the portion with my address on it and shred/cut my personal information up with scissors

3. Slogan Printed Shirt - This shirt says “Really want to rest, but no, you have no money”, which is... so me

4. Hair Sticks - I really like this store’s hair sticks!!! Contemporary, simple but still embellished, and I really loved the wind chime one!!!

5. Panel Earrings - I REALLY LIKED THIS?!!! It’s hand-painted, and a little expensive, but totally worth it!!

6. Ceramic Teacup and Snack Plate Set - THE DESIGNS ARE AWESOMEEEEE and these are really cute, I’ve got two from this store, the cup can technically be used for miso soup too for example

7. Butterfly Hanfu Hairpins - I don’t use them like that, I just stick it into a small bun because I don’t have that much hair, but if you have longer hair this is cute af, quality is A+ too!!!

8. Mini Teapot - I LURVEEEE THIS IT’S SO CUTE?!!! SO AESTHETIC?!!! I frickin love the tray too but they weren’t selling it when I got this :(

9. Gold Leaf Tea Strainer - THIS IS TECHNICALLY NOT A NECESSITY BUT DAMN?!! AESTHETICS?!!! I only use this if I wanna take photos, which isn’t very often LMAO

10. GORGEOUS CALLIGRAPHY BOX SET - I bought this solely for the box and the ink holders/saucers, really gorgeous, but more for the box!!! I mean, LOOK AT THAT!!!!

11. Mystical World Build-It-Yourself Set - I HAVEN’T TOUCHED THIS YET CUZ IT LOOKS COMPLEX AF BUT THE FINISHED PRODUCT IS *CHEF’S KISS* Also makes for great presents tbh

12. Traditional Chinese Teacup Set - Another one of those ‘why did I buy this’ kind of thing, but it’s so pretty?!!! Like I couldn’t help myself

13. Round Fan with Ribbons - OKAY THIS IS ALSO FARKING USELESS BUT??!!!! SO PRETTY?!!! I had to buy a stand for it ;-; And my mom yelled HAHAHAHA

14. Hua Xi Zi Carved Lipsticks - And y’all know how much I was screaming about this previously, I’ve used both so far and my heart aches slightly less than I thought it would at ruining the carvings, it’s a really good matte-ish cream-ish lipstick!!!

[sybilmarlowe]

Since I joined the One Piece fandom, I was asked different times which character I ship with Doffy the most. Given I'm usually into self insert things, I'd firstly go with "my OC, of course 😛"... But let's talk about what I think of Doffy's most famous ships 😁

DISCLAIMER: all of what follows is TOTALLY my own opinion, don't want to judge anyone who thinks differently than me. OP is a fictional world made of fictional characters and anyone can ship whoever they likes!

So, here's the ships:

Doffy x Viola

Ok, let's start with what many people's don't want to hear: this ship is canon. Yeah. Like it or not, it's a matter of fact.

I honestly like them together, they're a weird couple but somehow they work. I like to imagine how could have been the dynamic between the two of them, and I'm more than sure there was nothing abusive from Doffy's side. I mean, sexually at least. I agree with the fact destroying one's whole life and Country is pretty abusive, but I'm quite sure the feelings between Doffy and Viola have been real for a while. Maybe the concept could sound trivial, but no one chooses who to love and Doffy has many characteristics which may definitely make a person fall for him. Not totally sure HE has ever truly loved her, but I like to think so. After all he does have a weak side and Viola might have been one of the few (even thanks to her powers) who managed to see it and knowing him deeply. This surely strenghtened their bond and it might have finally resulted in love...

My vote is a 8/10

Doffy x Cora

This is incest. I know. And it's indeed problematic and controversial. Irl a thing like this isn't exactly acceptable.

BUT as I told before, OP is pure fiction, so... I have to say quite like them tbh. In my opinion, as long as a relationship is adult and consensual there's nothing deeply wrong in it IN FICTIONAL WORLDS. (I know, there are fanfictions in which their relationship is abusive, but since we’re talking about headcanons here I like to think it’s not). Have you watcher GoT? Cersei and Jamie were one of the best written pairings in the whole series, the same goes for this situation imo, we have all the conditions to make this ship a sensible one.

They’re a realistic couple cause they went through a lot of difficulties together and, even if they chose different paths of life, their bond is very very deep. Their love is a desperate one, like “you’re the only one in this world I can REALLY trust”. This from both sides. The difference is that Cora is a pure person who just want to love and being loved while Doffy... well, he’s not exactly mentally healthy and he’s like “all or nothing”.

A lot of angst and stuff, of course, for this reason my vote is 7/10

Doffy x Crocodile

I’m sure someone out there is going to want my head for what I’m about to write, the DoffyxCroco fandom is huge after all... but... 

I don’t like this ship at all. 

Given one can ship two people with no reason or just because they wear matching colours and look good in fanarts (?) imo DoffyxCrocodile has no sense. They interact, yeah, but nothing about their dialogues or shared scenes makes me thing they could be a good couple. Even that most famous encounter at Marineford which made fanpeople scream... They looked just like contenders who quite disliked eachother, nothing less and nothing more :/ and Doffy saying “I’m jelous!” just gave me the same vibes of a childish sacrastic way to piss off a person, pretty much like the stupid classic “you fight like a girl!”. 

They’re aesthetically beautiful, nothing to say, they’re both among the most handsome characters in OP  and have a similar story, so I’m not saying I don’t understand the reasons of those who ship them... Just... I want ships to be stronger and more credible than this :/

6/10 just because they look good in fanarts XD

Doffy x Luffy 

This is pretty diffused, but..... why. 

I mean... what happened between the two of them which could have made them fall for eachother?? D: Have you ever tried to date a person after trying GearFourthPunch them out of the troposphere? °A° (Also, Luffy could LITERALLY be Doffy’s son. This is weird. Not the weirdest thing, but still.)

Srsly... If you like them together I ask you to tell me which dynamics are there behind this ship. Cause I really can’t see WHERE do you see even a little trace of feelings between the two of them D: 

Sorry D:

3/10 

Doffy x Law

Gods, yes. YES.

This ship HELLA works from every single point of view. Doffy and Law are two of the most (if not THE MOST) well written characters in the whole series. They have a complete and complex background, a deep and multifaceted personality and, above all, an extremely strong bond. 

Ship them or not, they’re literally OBSESSED by eachother for different reasons.

 Law is the ONLY man Doffy considers almost his equal, he thinks he’s like the only person worth being his right hand man and I’m quite sure he’s galvanized by the idea Law is the one who’s gonna sacrifice his life to make him immortal. Like... a great life to complete an even greater one? This is insane. And yet beautiful. 

On the other hand, Law’s thoughts have been completely centred on taking revenge on Doffy for 10 years. Like, he was literally obsessed by that man, consumed by the hate he felt for him which obscured anything else, even his maniacal good sense in the end. 

Turning this all into a tragic and tormented love story is as easy as drinking water. A long-term reciprocal hate mixed with a deep admiration for eachother (even from Law’s side, after all Doffy was the one who thaught him almost... everything?) which slowly turns into something terribly different. Imagine the tension between two arch enemies who have to admit their hate melted into passion... and yet still have this latent feeling of wanting the other’s death.......

Don’t know what’s your opinion about this kind of stories, but for me, the self proclaimed Queen of Angst, in love with the most tragical Theatre and Literature... THIS IS GOOD STUFF. 

10/10 HANDS DOWN.

Doffy x Trebol 

What tHE ACTUAL F***K. 

-10/10 

Doffy x Bellamy

Please, no. 

Alright, I hate Bellamy. He’s exactly the kind of character I find terribly pathetic and incomplete. He barely has a personality of his own, he’s a wild fanboy with nothing original (not like Barto. Barto is the best fanboy ever. All my love goes to Barto.). 

Now, he spent all his 34 years of life trying to... imitate Doffy? And yet he doesn’t even manage to truly understand him. So he’s worse than a fanboy, he’s attracted to the idealization of a man who’s not even half of the things he expects him to be. This is sad. Really sad. And call me a sadist, he deserved being humiliated imo. Maybe this helped him open his eyes and getting a life. Seriously. 

It goes without saying I totally can’t see how a relationship between him and Doffy could work. Doffy despises him, the only kind of plot this thing could have is a quite abusive one :/ and since I deeply dislike abuse.... no. This ship is totally out of question.

0/10

Doffy x Monet

This is another ship which barely touches the canon. I sincerely think the "love" between the two of them is pretty much unilateral. Doffy respects Monet, he deeply appreciates her abilities, intelligence and loyalty, she's clearly among his closest subordinates, but... He doesn't love her in a romantic way. As for Monet, she's totally in love with him, she'd kill and die for him. And in fact that's what she does in the end.

Monet is not among my fav characters, but I still feel quite sorry for how things went for her. She gave her everything away for a helpless, almost obsessive, love.

If something between the two of them really happened for real, I think it was merely physical.

For this reason, tough I have to admit they'd actually look beautiful together, I can't ship them :/

5/10

Doffy x Vergo

Ok, I dislike Vergo. He's quite a flat character imo, don't even like his design 😅 I don't ship him with Doffy for this simple reason, but being honest they could perfectly work as a couple.

Vergo was among Doffy's very first "real friends", he was among those who were considered a family by him and, most importantly, he was the only one around his same age. They literally grew up together, likely supporting each other, and I wouldn't be honest if I said this has no chance to be a good assumptipn for a love story. A quite simple and basic one, if you want, but it's the most realistic kind of bond two people can make.

Still not shipping them, my vote is a honest 7/10.

Guess that's all?

Let me know what do you think about this 😆 do you agree with my votes? Or there are some points you totally disagree with?

Well, anyways. I had fun 😂

[elvencantation]

yin yang master liveblog

feat. @thursdayplaid​

what

blue

omg the magic is so pretty

also why is it always Chinese dramas will have someone, if they need blood, bite their finger?

also the gold spirit is very cute i like

i love a young countenance but an older soul

i also want them to take off their hats 😂

wait he ain’t dead he’s just sitting there?

or he’s dying i guess

Thursday

This movie is pretty throughout, aesthetic on point 

Sharp teeth?

We simp gold spirit

Too true, amazing combo XD 

He's dying

Please don't let me disturb your liveblogging. It brings be much joy

blue

oh hot demon boy!

love that he’s fighting with a fan

Thursday

Who will win? Uptight fighting bro vs gentle fan uncle

blue

gentle fan uncle is an amazing title

Thursday

@^_^@

blue

i love how he’s just like ‘bet u wouldnt stab a precious instrument’

Thursday

XD I love how playful he is during the whole fight too

blue

it’s adorable

dude rly loves his transportation talismans

WAIT I THOUGHT DEMON BOY HAD TATTOOS NOT CUTS

Thursday

He does. If it ain't broke, don't fix it I guess. And it's a good way to redirect violence without doing harm

Demon boy has had a Rough Time

blue

i wanna give him a hug

i don’t think he’d appreciate that but still 😂

Thursday

He's just sad and misses his girl friend

blue

why his reincarnated shufu look evil tho

Thursday

Who can say~~~

I love how Boya was just repeatedly defeated by Qingming and is like: you won't fight me because you're scared.

blue

what’s a himbo but not nice 😂

hey! they put my boys hat on crooked. rude.

Thursday

Give that boy a straight hat.

He's just such an Angy Boy

blue

he rly is 😂

ah i love the lady master she’s so pretty

Thursday

She's amazing and I love her.

blue

awww boya defended him

Thursday

He's so angry, but this fan man flirts with him

blue

ofc they all spying on each other 😂

Thursday

Saved by your opponent's gay discovery

blue

omg yes

Thursday

Spying required

blue

aw he looks nice with his hair down!

drink tea with him angy boy!

Thursday

He just wants you to chill out before you deviate. Sit and look at his amazing long hair. It'll be good for you

blue

HAHAHA

honey bug!!!! i love her!!!!!!!

Thursday

Also the ability for the fan man's actor to go from calm to worried to angry to calm again

Honey bug is good and important and I love her

blue

thank u for the recommendation yes

i love them

Thursday

The intrinsic eroticism of a man who's having his racist beliefs totally shaken by a hot guy who's hotter and smarter than him while holding a sword to his throat and looking like he wants to cry while saying cool lines.

They are such a great pair

blue

angy boy is angy like how dare fan man make him have feelings

Thursday

How very dare he make a good point about morals and ethics!

Also with that hair drinking tea in the morning

Angy boy with clenched teeth: I'm Not Yearning. I'm Just Like This When I See A Fan.

Angy boy with clenched fists: Complex Feelings? Disgusting.

blue

HAHAH OMG HES JUST HANGING OUT WITH A BUNCH OF LADIES LIKE HELLO YES ANGY BOY COME HAVE TEA WITH US ITS NOT WHAT U THINK

OMG THIS TIME ITS BOYS

ITS LIKE UR TRYING TO GIVE ANGY BOY AN ANEURISM

Thursday

Clenched fist intensifies

blue

I CANNOT

maybe he just wants to hang out with cute people

i get that

Thursday

He's just a friendly guy

blue

if i could summon pretty spirit friends to hang with me i so would

ok so maybe he’s not evil. but i’m still suspicious

NOW ANGY BOY IS HAIR DOWN WITHOUT HAT OMG YES

Thursday

I do get the vibe off him he's not the sort of guy who would put his spirit friends in sexual situations. But also I get the vibe he's a very lonely guy at his core and he enjoys the feeling of physical and emotional closeness.

blue

mood ™

Thursday

Let's be honest, the hat is a bit cute, but that hair though. Respect for the makeup department

blue

HAHAHAH

Thursday

Angy boy, you're just walking to being teased now. At this point its a hand written invitation with gold leaf.

blue

oh i love this moment with the water

it’s so intense

JUST DO IT ANGY BOY

U KNOW U CARE ABOUT HIM

“you’re too obedient” 😂

Thursday

The priest is in the range of gentle or teasing and hovers there. Seeing an actual intense situation is great

blue

ikr????

ah that is exactly what i love

that situation

Thursday

Me too! It's great when characters hover in a range and then swing over sharply

I really makes both extremes more dynamic

blue

HAVE SOME WINE WITH HIM DO IT

U KNOW U WANNA

Thursday

Go For It Angy Boy! He'll be gentle!

blue

😏

Thursday

XD I mean he will continue to ruffle his feathers, but for fun, not for mean

Also, I really love the depiction of a fox demon that isn't sexed up.

Qingming is a trickster, a tease, a bit of a flirt, and enjoys the pleasures of life, but he isn't the stereotypical half naked sexpot fox demon that seem to pop up everywhere

blue

OH NO HE HAD TO KILL HIS SHUFU???

Thursday

The only person he had in the world but he didn't want him to suffer and be corrupted

blue

also I hate that my two associations with someone being turned into ash is firstly the avengers and secondly that stupid fucking scene in the last harry potter movie

god this movie is so beautiful and lovely

Thursday

That set is outstandingly gorgeous

Everything is so beautiful. I want to live in this world!

Sometimes I just see a kind and lonely character trying to live their best life and just vibe with them. Also the wigs on this movie 😭 So beautiful!

blue

DONT HURT MY GIRL

Thursday

Run girl! Move!

She's so smart and brave!

blue

oh the DRAMA

Thursday

The Drama is right, I love this movie!

blue

HE WILL SAVE U BOYA

Thursday

HE'S COMING FOR YOU FRIEND

blue

omg the drama of his hand slackening

Thursday

That slackening hand though...

blue

why it didn’t work until then tho???

Thursday

For the drama mostly XD

blue

HUGGGG

is she giving birth to the serpent? 🤢

Thursday

She is giving birth to the serpent

blue

hey it’s better to be possessed by the literal incarnation of evil in snake form than be dead am I right?

Thursday

I mean is we're making a choice...

blue

OMG IS IT FINALLY SPIRIT TIME?

thursday

It is ~spirit time~!

blue

HOT DEMON BOY IS BACK UPGRADED

SO PROUD

Thursday

He is back and he is Fancy!

They're looking good they're doing poses

blue

omg the painters face painting is so pretty

Thursday

I love the painter ;-; so noble

blue

the music when he summons spirits just makes me think of like pro wrestling intro music for some reason 😂

Thursday 

And now from the WWE, some hot chinese spirits

blue

oh no ice boy!

Thursday

Poor ice boy, he's just getting beat up

blue

don’t u dare touch my other demon boy

Thursday

He just signed up for this adventure and now a snake is beating him up

blue

OMG HE NOW HAS SOMEONE HE WOULD PROTECT WITH HIS LIFE DOESNT HE

Thursday

He Do!

blue

WAIT WHAT NO BOYA

Thursday

Boya is just having a rough time right now, he's a good good boy

blue

and now the painter???

Thursday

I almost cried about the painter and he was only there for like five minutes

blue

PLS DONT HURT MY DEMON BOY

Thursday

Demon Boy goes yeet

blue

oh my god the drama of the dripping blood i can’t

Thursday

This movie has so much drama It did

blue

not my demon boy 😭

FINALLY IT WORKED

wait shit spirit boya is super hot

THE BLACK WINGS?!????

the tattoos??? the hair?!?!!! the messy goth skirt??!

Thursday

Spirit Boya is Choice, I'm looking respectfully 👀

Goth spirit aesthetic is on point

blue

where the other guardians tho?

yes this is a very touching little last reunion but where my boya at

omg yes give him a glowing sword

the avenging angel look is 💯 on him

Thursday

The sword on fire look is Really Working For Him

blue

tell me boya’s spirit form has no influence on his actual body. no he said he trusted qingming to protect his body it’s ok

OMG YES I KNEW THE PROTECTION SPELL MOMENT WOULD BE BACK

Thursday

It's back and it's shiny!

blue

ok but u still have a hole in ur torso my dude

oh ok apparently that’s not a thing anymore but i can’t be mad cause boya’s outfit 😍

Thursday

I guess he used his cultivation or his demon powers or something IDK, It would have been nice to have two extra minutes of Boya being worried about him

Boya wears some excellent clothes

blue

love a good romantic flute moment 😭🥰

Thursday

I have to say Boya's like let me play you this song about promising to fall in love in the next life for fun and me time

blue

omg i thought he was gonna kiss the arrow

Thursday

I mean emotionally did he not kiss the arrow?

blue

omg i cant

Thursday

I know right? How many censors did they have to pay off

blue

WAIT IS MY GIRL OK????

Thursday

I Chose To Believe She's fine and is now living happily on a farm or something

yeah i do love being worried for each other

but i guess they didnt have enouhg time and they already had that moment at the beginning of the movie 😂

Thursday

Two people? Respecting, worrying, and caring about each other? 👍 There's never enough caring for each other!

blue 

exactly

Thursday

Also, this is one of the best examples of be careful how you word your spells that I've ever seen.

The old master was like care and protect her forever and his spirit guardian was just like: 👍👌💯

blue

heheh

yeahhh

AND U MADE ME EMOTIONAL AGAIN

[ksbwnotes]

Chapter 9, Part 1

Ahhhh...poor son of a bitch.

1. Heyyyyy, green tape

Hmmmn, Koogi seems to use green a lot...is that just more common a color for duct tape in Korea? But thing is, her main outfit for Bum is green tones. And he likes froggies, which are green. 

Also, we never do see Sangwoo use this tape with CEO daughter girl (just ropes, a cloth for her mouth, and this weird metal thing to cover her eyes). Or with Bum, for that matter (I only saw it so far used with Koogi’s illustrations, which are a different matter altogether...I might be mistaken, I won’t skip to that part, but Sangwoo might have used it on Bum in the last chapters, which could signify how far his mentality has deteriorated). 

But this guy is different. Sangwoo has no emotional attachment to him.  The duct tape could be, in a way, signifying how worthless this person is to Sangwoo. That he’s nothing more than a box full of unsavory memories he would rather tape shut forever and throw away to rot.

2. Ooohp. Bastard’s bringing out his iconic apron

Sangwoo the butcher.

But this is something new that we haven’t seen before. Again, Sangwoo has never once wore this with Bum. So that means Sangwoo truly has no intentions of going easy on this guy. Blood is going to be pretty much spurting every-the-fuck-where. 

So even though Sangwoo doesn’t consciously plan to kill someone, he has his habits and ideas down to a pat so that once he does get into that territory, he can more or less get right down to it. Sangwoo seems to do what he can to ‘separate’ himself from his atrocious acts, but also fulfilling an ‘aesthetic’ that fits with the atrocity he has become. 

Like, that apron.  Too risky to wear regular clothes, so apron is the next best thing and can act as a barrier of some sort once the blood goes flying. It’ll reduce how much splatters onto his skin and how much of his body he has to actually clean. It’s also just keep things less gross and more sanitary that way lol.

3. I am the type to find this funny and really be amused by Sangwoo’s smartass-ness

I suck at being a smartass and I can’t do it, so I really appreciate it whenever someone else can, even if it’s mean lol. But if it’s mean, it’s a guilty pleasure for me, like right now. x’D

4. Honestly, Sangwoo, how did you get yourself into this situation...

Oh!  So he was able to get out of the blow job. Nice. The guy was actually respectful. If Sangwoo were sane, he’d understand this and just run away instead of luring this guy in to kill him. 

But, really, why did Sangwoo put himself into this position?  I don’t have anything foolproof as evidence, but I really don’t think Sangwoo is the type who actually needs to kill at specific intervals as an outlet.

If anything, Sangwoo has a more...instinctual response to sexual situations, like Bum. For Bum, he becomes hyper-aroused and zeroes in on the pleasure to a point that it overrides his more logical line of thinking. The “he’s a killer I should be scared” becomes “it feels so good and nothing else can exist but this pleasure”.

For Sangwoo, he has two modes. The first one is passive, where he’s just following his partner’s whims and saying that he’s enjoying things but he’s actually just powerless to resist. It’s his instinctual reaction after being forced to just...take his mom’s advances. He feels empty, like a doll that is just meant to be used and taken for pleasure. It’s no better than being a corpse that is fulfilling another’s necrophilic tendencies.

The second mode, I believe, came to be as a self-defense mechanism to the first mode. In order to avoid ever feeling like that, he is in control of everything. He has complete dominance over his partner. In a way, the extreme violence is the only way he can genuinely feel pleasure because he’s ‘safe’. He can literally go one way or the other, his trauma has made it impossible for him to have any other mode than ‘docile’ or ‘predator’. 

5. Well, even without the possibility of murdering someone, Sangwoo choosing an alias is no surprise

He did go into a gay bar, lol.

I also find it interesting that this is where we get a look into Bum’s thoughts. And it’s regarding Sangwoo’s alias. 

Also, now I am wondering if Sangwoo ever resorted to using aliases with his other prey. Because if he had, then this does add a whole other layer of premeditation to his serial killing. Even if he’s not purposefully scouting for prey, it would at least mean he’s always prepared in the event that he comes across prey. 

That is what makes Jieun such an outlier and also Sangwoo’s downfall in terms of getting caught. Jieun knows Sangwoo personally. There is a connection between them. And her disappearance could easily be traced back to him. Sangwoo isn’t an idiot. He knows how to pick and choose his prey and he probably makes sure to never make it so that the prey can call him by name. 

That is also what makes Bum such an interesting outlier. Because Sangwoo is risking A LOT just to keep him--someone who knows Sangwoo’s real name and actually has witnessed his personal life, both in the outside world and behind closed doors. Sangwoo chose him over the girl. Sangwoo broke his legs, not only to keep Bum from escaping, but to keep Bum with him. 

This does suggest that Sangwoo is not serial killing for the thrill of it (at least, not just for that), but because he’s in search for something that could replace the kills. Sangwoo doesn’t want a pile of dead bodies under his feet--he wants one alive body to stay by his side and love him, in spite of those dead bodies. 

6. ....cute motherfucker

Koogi, I resent you so much for making him this cute...

Honestly though, it just strikes me how Sangwoo keeps trying to keep on a carefree and happy facade even during times like these. We do later see him doing that as a habit as a child, so it fits that he does that on steroids during his adult years, especially considering the things he does. I’ll refer back to this when we get to Jieun’s death scene.

7. Shows of weakness

Ah damn I’m going to have to revisit this part. I have a lot of thoughts on it, but I’m too sleep deprived to actually make sense of it. But this part is important in understanding Sangwoo’s mentality and the ways he tries to train Bum to fit a certain image.

Aaaaaand today is a new day!!  So going forth:

During the times Bum showed fear and was trembling, I do think a major part of why Sangwoo hates it so much is because it reminds him of how much of a monster he is. But I also think it’s because it reminds him of his mom, which he does say about Bum’s trembling. Because no matter what happened to his mom, she never learned her lesson. If she were able to change, then Sangwoo’s childhood would be less painful. 

But Bum being quiet and looking scared, but still able to meet Sangwoo’s eyes...that reminds Sangwoo of what he was while with his parents. And even though Sangwoo does hate himself--to a point where he doesn’t want to change because he has no belief he can be better--I do think he’s grieving for that child who had no clue that things will just get worse and worse from there. 

Especially since, from what I’m assuming, he knew how to manipulate his image so that he could avoid being beaten and locked up like his mother. So he would hold more respect towards his conditioned response versus his mother’s conditioned response. He probably refused to admit to himself how he felt back then, because obviously that’s a cruel thought to have and Sangwoo’s level of empathy was still average to high at the time. But it still doesn’t erase his resentment towards her inability to be better (I think this also contributed to why Sangwoo presumably felt ‘free’ after his first kill).

I think I’ll have a better grasp over my thoughts once we get to Jieun’s death >_< 

8. *opens mouth, then silently closes it*

That first sentence probably is not meant to sound the way Sangwoo makes it sound. xD  Which is a bit too gay for someone who firmly claims he is wholly hetero.

Oh actually this is funny. Since the only other person in the basement is a guy, the card dude probably thinks Sangwoo really is gay or internalized-antigay or something. But the truth is a lot more complex and sinister than what it appears to be on the surface.

9. Ooooooh, high stakes indeed

Lol, this does drive home the idea to me that Sangwoo is really pissed at Bum. Because, again, he would’ve never went to that gay bar had it not been for Bum. So, in a way, even though Sangwoo internally knows Bum isn’t the one going out in a body bag, this instillation of fear is a punishment for making him question his sexuality in a way that triggered Sangwoo’s trauma. Because there is literally no safe way for Sangwoo to explore his sexuality considering his past and his current lifestyle.

On the other end of the spectrum, I wonder how Bum is feeling about this. He probably genuinely believes that Sangwoo is genuinely putting Bum’s life on the line, in a way that if he fails the card game, he’ll die. Like. I definitely would. No matter what past form of affection Sangwoo showed, if he says he’ll kill me, I would full-heartedly be like “Yeah. Yeah, I don’t doubt you, hun.”

And, still, Bum knows better now than to complain or beg. Because unlike his mother, despite his own mental issues, Bum can be trained and that is why Sangwoo keeps him around.

10. Where do you come up with these things, you bastard

I mean, seriously, he has so many ideas on how to break a person. These are more psychopathic than sociopathic tendencies, I think, so that’s why Sangwoo right now, is a high-functioning sociopath.

11. Oh my fkkn god tho, this smart boi XD

Or maybe I’m just dumb and have no clue how to play cards. 

Or maybe Sangwoo has been spending time with Bum playing cards.

Or maybe Bum is just good at cards and has spent his time practicing them.

Either way, the fact that Bum is able to fkkn pay attention during these times shows that his own trauma and mental issues have no bearing on how smart he actually is. He doesn’t have strong observation skills and is slow to understand people, but that’s more of a natural character trait, even if it is more emphasized by his mental disorders...mmmn, I do kinda wonder if Bum could have some traits shared with autism but I’m too neruotypical and untrained to say whether or not he does.

12. No seriously, we have creative Sangwoo here with this card game from hell...

...Then we have Bum here able to pull out logical conclusions like his mind is clear despite the immense anxiety and pressure of the situation. There’s a reason why Bum is still alive. For some reason, the longer Bum is stuck in his situation, the more 

13. Seriously, I could stab him in the eye for being so cute despite being revolting, it’s not RIGHT KOOGI

Stab stab stab stab

14. It probably doesn’t mean much, but I still can’t help but point out how Sangwoo is making sure to be close to Card!dude and facing Bum

This would be the most logical choice since it will ensure his victim doesn’t try to escape. And even if he does, he can quickly do shit like pulling back his hair if he tries to be ‘bratty’. Also, being behind someone like this is meant to represent a menacing appearance and being the ‘controller’ behind the scenes. Sangwoo has the upperhand since card!dude can’t see him and Sangwoo can do whatever he wants to the guy. 

But this also puts Sangwoo and Bum on more equal ground. Sort of like “partners in crime” because they can face each other and communicate via body language. In a way, Sangwoo can help Bum or make Bum do things, influencing his next move. While, at the same time, keeping a literal eye on Bum but without the upperhand he has on card!dude--because Bum can also keep an eye out on him. 

15. I’d probably laugh if I were Sangwoo too lol

I bet you Sangwoo didn’t expect Bum to actually get the goddamn ace. The fact that Bum is this fkkn lucky is indicative of how Bum is lucky enough to even be alive at this point. Bum has been able to avoid his ‘fate of death’ over and over again that, honestly, the sheer disbelief of it is ridiculous. But it’s also like Sangwoo is saying ‘Of course you’d get the goddamn ace. Of course you would, you little shit, why am I even still surprised by you at this point’.

In a way, Sangwoo might also be thinking that ‘Huh, it’s like I meant to mess with the cards so that’d they be in your favor.’ But of course, he can’t have that because Bum being ‘too’ happy about things means he won’t be able to control Bum. So, for Bum’s case, he’s doing a second round to train Bum further, rather than to fuck with him before he kills him (like what he’s doing with card!dude).

Other than that, this is also indicative of just how well Bum is dealing with the anxiety of this moment. Card!dude might have done better (though he can’t have that much control over the cards) under normal circumstances, but between the both of them, Bum is actually calm enough to think things through. It says a lot about his capabilities lol. It makes me wonder what kind of person he could’ve been had he been raised well.

ALSO, AGAIN WITH YOU BEING CUTE SANGWOO. NO. ESPECIALLY NOT UNDER THESE CIRCUMSTANCES YOU ASSHOLE. STOP IT.

16. Lol, even though this is a throwaway line, I think this is indicative of who Sangwoo has already chosen

This is really like a “come on, partner in crime, get up to my level here and let’s fuck with this fucker together”. But the thing is, Bum is just as much a victim as this guy. There is literally no way for Bum to think any other way but Sangwoo fucking with both of them, not just card!dude. 

Because the thing is, if Bum forgot himself and reacted the same way as card!dude, Sangwoo would kill him, along with card!dude.

But yeah, it does make me think of how Sangwoo would’ve reacted if card!dude actually won. How would his script go? Would he still do a practice round? Or would that have been enough for Sangwoo, and he would’ve skipped to the next part of his plan?

I don’t think this second round was something Sangwoo expected. And that really drove home to him how Bum keeps surpassing his expectations again and again. 

17. *wince* Oohp.

The trembling and slight protest. Definitely not what Sangwoo wants to see. I can’t blame Bum for responding like this, BECAUSE A FKKN SERIAL KILLER IS PRETTY MUCH TRYING TO SCREW HIM OVER, but at the same time, he should know better than to respond this way. 

I also do think, other than the threat to his life, Bum is perceiving this as Sangwoo ‘choosing’ card!dude over Bum. It’s like a rejection and that probably hits Bum’s rejection sensitivity. If it was just a threat to his life, Bum would probably be able to still stay silent at this point (uh, most likely not because again, life is on the line, but still maybe). However, there’s also this sense that Sangwoo doesn’t actually want him to live--that the card game is just an excuse to kill Bum.

18.  think it says a lot that Sangwoo still responds to Bum’s protest via ‘patting’ him on the head rather than pulling on his hair. 

If card!dude was more intuitive, then he probably would’ve noticed that something was off in the way Sangwoo was treating Bum. More leniently. Because any small variation in treatment is not a promising outlook for card!dude.

But the thing is--now that I know how the ending is--Sangwoo is just doing this as a way to fuck with the other dude.  Actually he was probably proud of Bum winning so that he could further fuck with card!dude and make him taste the bitterness of false hope. Sort of like a “heh, you did better than I thought you would”. 

Sangwoo does want him to live because this card game is not about ‘who’ to choose. Sangwoo has already chosen Bum. This is just a matter of how much satisfaction Sangwoo can get against his revenge on the other guy.

Though, Bum is genuinely worried because why would he think that lol. There is also this thing where Sangwoo chose to kill a pretty girl and keep him, a skinny male loser, alive. So from his stand point, Sangwoo’s choices are difficult to pinpoint. Bum also won’t see himself as more ‘attractive’ than card!dude, so he most likely was scared that Sangwoo’s choices has changed once again and he would be thrown away like CEO daughter.

19. Hmmmn...

Now that card!dude has been given a second chance and can see Sangwoo’s willingness as a show of ‘favorability’, he has more control over his anxiety (which I do think is different from Bum, who has this sort of ‘on-off’ button for his anxiety, versus card!dude who seems to have more of a ‘reduction-enlargement’ slider). He probably feels more confident. 

And this is probably exactly what Sangwoo wanted, because then that will make the fall so much sweeter, the look of horror that much more gratifying.

20. Really, and there were people who wanted Sangwoo and Bum to have a happily ever after

The psychological warfare Sangwoo is putting onto Bum is so brutal that it’s really difficult to keep reading. Again, Koogi making it so that Sangwoo got better, then got worse when he realized he couldn’t handle what it means to ‘improve’, and then die...it made me respect this work so much, because nothing about this is romanticized.  And furthermore, Bum didn’t die, but at the same time, he was scars that will never be able to heal. His mentality was worse in the end than it was in the beginning, which is a goddamn feat because there wasn’t much left for him to fall.

Another alternative that I saw float around was Bum and Sangwoo dying together and...no. No no no. That’s too romanticized as well. And Bum being left alive while Sangwoo dies has this very...god I don’t even know how to explain. It’s not a happy ending. For me, there’s no vindication for it because I got to see just how deeply Sangwoo was suffering, which made it impossible for me to enjoy his death despite every incredibly shitty thing he has done. It was literally just...a masterpiece. One that showed just how, really, there are places on earth that truly have no hope and the suffering only ends with death. 

I usually never like nihilistic stories like these. Like seriously, there’s a reason why I avoided Killing Stalking like the plague. But after so many stories where things have a happy ending just because they MUST, it doesn’t only get tiring, but destructive for me. 

And Killing Stalking is special to me because instead of showing that everything was hopeless in the beginning just BECAUSE life is hopeless, period...it shows that things could’ve gone differently because Sangwoo and Bum were never truly without hope in the beginning. Sangwoo wasn’t a classic serial killer. Bum just needed better guidance. They just needed to be given a goddamn chance, like so many people in the world in general.

Instead of outright nihilism, it’s more in line with existentialism and that things reach the point of no return if nothing is changed. Or that if there are changes, it’s the type of change that makes things worse and doesn’t allow for healing.

Anyways, I don’t quite have all my thoughts on this together, so this is something I have to revisit once I’m done reading KS.