#my brain is so fried its been like pulling teeth to do longer stuff

[witswords]

ooc. i’m still in the thick of midterms but hopefully i can get all my drafts done on break this weekend…

[queenoftheworldisdead]

The Cult

Summary: A few years after the return of the stones Steve leaves S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers for good. He starts a religious movement. Newly wed James and his wife (reader) visit his old friend at his compound.

Warning: oral sex and sex Bucky x Reader, Dark Steve x Reader Cult AU

This one got away from me its super long. Sorry

The small prosthetics shop you owned normally catered to low income families and people that had little to no insurance. So it was quite the surprise seeing the brunette Avenger waltzing through your doors.

"Don't you army guys get the Stark industry discount?" You teased the sullen soldier as he ignored you completely.

So that's why they call him the winter soldier.

"Or are you spying on me for the competition?" You say as you watch him examine the different prosthetics throughout the store. When he finally stopped in front of a display case that contained a very popular prosthetic. You had to stop yourself from giggling at the irony of it all.

"That one is called 'The Hero'" you could practically feel his eyes roll as you rounded the counter to open up the display case. " It's my most popular and affordable multi-grip bionic arm for folks that have below elbow and upper-limb differences. Would you like to try it on?"

"Yea sure"

"Oh Ok..." you hand him the arm and scurry over to the door to lockup and put on your 'Be right back sign' with the estimated time of your return.

Walking to the back to your workshop you wave him over to follow you. Stopping at your workshop table you pat the top and motion for him to come closer.

"Aren't you friends with Tony or something? I mean I love my stuff, but compared to his my stuff is trash"

He only scoffed in response. Taking off his jacket as he enter the room that's when you saw it. His left shirt sleeve knotted at the top.

As he placed the garment on your table you sensed his apprehension when it came time to remove the shirt.

"Honey you don't have anything I haven't seen or haven't not seen before" you joke trying to lighten the mood.

By the look on his face you could tell he didn't find you the least bit amusing. With his right arm he grabbed the shirt at the hem and pulled it up and over. The sculpt of his body was amazing. Suddenly it felt as if the heat in your little back room shot through the roof.

"Take a picture it will last longer" he joked with a half smile and with that the mood shifted in the room. You tried to think of a retort, but your brain was fried. Instead you opted to examine his left side tracing your finger around lazily before going to grab your notepad.

"Well you will need something customized for sure. Come back in a week and I should have something ready for you."

As he redressed while you stole glances at his exposed muscles. When he looked back at you, you pretended to write down more notes on your note pad.

"They don't let you take that kind of stuff with you when you retire" Bucky could tell it was a question you had wanted to ask the moment he walked in. He was referring to his now missing infamous vibranium arm.

It had been over a year since the Winter Soldier first entered your shop. Your prosthetics were durable, but were no match for his super strength. It was almost a bi-weekly occurrence that he would enter your shop in need of repairs or a new prosthetic.

"OOOOOH! Looking sharp." You call out to Bucky as he enters your shop for the third time this month. His hair was freshly cut and his face clean shaven. Showing off a jawline that could definitely cut glass. "Got a hot date tonight?"

"That depends on if you say yes" He frankly as he pulled a bushel of flowers from behind his back.

You were dumbfounded as he smiled down at you with those gorgeous blue eyes. The only thing you could do to reply was nod your head like an idiot.

Waking up with your husbands head between your legs was the best way to start your three year anniversary. Looking down at the tuft of brown hair tickling your thighs you were tempted to pull on them, but decided against it.

Bucky's hot breath on your folds made you involuntarily squirm alerting him that you were now awake. You could feel the grin on his mouth feathering over your clit. The anticipation of his touch had you grasping the bed sheets beneath you.

"Good morning Bucky" you say with a squeeze of your thigh.

He didn't answer only flattening his tongue to finally make contact. Bucky pressed it down your center, separating your folds and the sensation had your head falling back onto the pillow. You had to fight the urge to flip him over and ride his face.

His tongue going over every inch of your sex. You reach down and thread your fingers through his hair almost tempted to take the strands and pull him closer.

When you began to grip too tightly though he bit your inner thigh. Hissing you released it and Bucky rewarded you by kissing the area. Grinning to himself as he trailed kisses back down to your soaking pussy.

Before you knew it he took your left leg and swung it over his shoulder. Locking you in with his arm around your thigh, Bucky swiftly brought your mound flush to his face.

You gasp on impact feeling the devilish smile on him. Taking your clit in his teeth gently holding it there as his tongue flickered over it. Your back arched up from the bed as he sucked it completely into his mouth.

Releasing your leg his arm moved down your inner thigh. His thick finger spreading your lips apart. You sucked in a breath when one finger sank into you.

"Look at me baby" the vibrations of his voice on your clit had you buzzing.

His eyes waiting for you to rest on him. You couldn't do it the sight of him like that would make you cum immediately.

"Look at me" his voice became more demanding. Whimpering a soft no in defiance.

When his second digit joined in the fray you cursed out. "Fuck! James" you cry as you look down at him.

Bucky was making you uncontrollably wet. Flattening his tongue he licked and nipped on your folds. Cleaning your thoroughly whilst his finger pumped deeper and faster into you. You lost control of your thighs and squeeze his head, grinding your pussy on his face while you clutch the sheets.

"James...I-I can't take it" you could feel the pressure build in you. Your breathing became heavy as you rode out your orgasm on his face.

"Shit James" you moan as your head falls back on to the pillow.

"Happy anniversary" he said pulling back to sit on his haunches.

"Happy anniversary to you too" you pant out. You wanted to sit up on your elbows but you just felt too weak. The bed dipped as Bucky climbed out of it. "Where are you going?"

"I had planned on making you breakfast" he walked over to place a kiss on your head.

"Oh. I thought women from your time did the cooking while the men brought home the bacon" you tease him. Rolling over on your side you watch him grab a pair of grey sweat pants from the dresser.

"Seeing as though you work and I'm retired some might say the rolls have reversed."

You weren't going to argue with getting breakfast made after a great orgasm. If this man wanted to pamper you, you wouldn't fight it.

"I like my bacon crispy" you call out as he walked out of the bedroom. Your legs were still a bit weak, but you managed to pull yourself out of bed. Stretching as you walk to the bathroom.

After you brushed and showered you got dress to go to the mailbox. You were expecting a package that you wanted to surprise James with, but with all the pandemic madness it was arriving later than excepted. Through the mail slot you picked up the papers and huffed disappointingly at the lack of parcel. Shuffling through the pile of mail you head into the kitchen to check on James.

"Smells good." The aroma was making you hungrier.

"Sounds like you were doubting me" he said with his bare back to you.

"Never of course not" you lied. He had burnt more than one meal throughout your relationship so you always tried to monitor him on the sly. "You got a letter, no stamp which is super weird" trying to change the subject you slap it on the counter behind him. "Ooooh is it some secret spy stuff"

You expected him to huff and brush you off, but he didn't. He looked as if he was frozen in place.

"James?" You became concerned and started walking towards him.

He turned to the letter, dropping the spatula to grab the letter. Opening it he started to read, his face contouring throughout the process.

You moved passed him to start on the coffee until you smelled it. The bacon was starting to quickly burn. James was so lost in thought that he didn't smell the smoke coming off the now very over cooked bacon.

Spinning around you rush to turn off the stove. The blackening bacon emitted more smoke as you ran it under the sink. The smoke detector shrieked out and you dropped the pan to open the kitchen window to air out the room. As you started to cough Bucky was unmoved.

"Bucky what the hell!" you scold him.

Clutching the letter in his hand you couldn't tell if it were the smoke or the letter but his eyes were red and watery.

"It's Steve" you looked at him confused until it hit you. Steve was a buddy from his past. Another man lost out of time.

*Flash back

When they realized Steve wasn't coming back after returning the infinity stones a decision was made. They didn't want to cause more damage to the time line than what they had already done and Bucky knew exactly where to look.

Steve was dragged back to the proper time line by his Avenger buddies. He did not take his friends intervening into his second chance with the love of his life too well. The chance to not be the man out of time.

The frustration and the feeling of betrayal ate away at him. Bucky had taken the brunt of his ire. He began seeing himself as a soldier stuck in a constant war and of all the people that could understood Bucky should have. Steve's mental state was breaking down and a festering hatred for S.H.E.I.L.D. and the Avengers grew. The super soldier was turning into something his friends could not recognize.

Then one day Captain America vanished. S.H.E.I.L.D. and The Avengers scoured the four corners of the earth looking for him. Despite their combined resources  

James took Steve's disappearance the hardest. He blamed himself for the deterioration of Steve's mental state. Steve saved him, but it seemed he could not return the favor.

The guilt and pain of losing and betraying Steve took its toll on him as well. S.H.E.I.L.D. did not want to risk harming Bucky's mental state. With his history with brainwashing they thought it wise to relieve him of his duties. So within a year after Steve's disappearance Bucky was forced into a mandatory retirement.

*Present

In the letter Steve told Bucky he had started a settlement and invited him to visit. He left instructions on how to contact and find it. When he asked you to come with him you said yes without hesitation. He didn't think to question how a letter with no postage found its way to the house. It nagged you a bit, but you brushed it off as Avenger/spy stuff. It also nagged you that Bucky had searched for Steve a long time just for him to randomly make himself known on your anniversary.

You hated flying, but you did it for Bucky. The journey out of the country took several hours to complete. Once you two landed you were dismayed to find you had to immediately board a helicopter. When the propellers started up you fastened your seat belt and held on to Bucky's arm for dear life. Your never were completely shot and you were exhausted. As the small plane travel over the tree tops you couldn't bring yourself to look.

This was your first time out of the states and you cursed Bucky for taking you to god knows where instead of Hawaii.

As the chopper started its descent your were able to calm down. When you felt it hit the earth you looked out the window. This wasn't an airport. This was a makeshift tarmac in the middle of the tallest trees you had ever seen.

Scanning around you spot a Jeep. "James do you know those guys" pointing to the man standing outside their vehicle.

"No, but I'm sure he must be a transport to the town"

"Who builds a "town" way out here?"

When the propellers slow to a stop James unbuckled and you followed suit. Grabbing some luggage he exits the chopper.

"Your taking me to Hawaii when this is all over, you know what scratch that Paris" you huffed out as you struggled with your bags.

A tall man pushes off the jeep and walks over. Looking up at James, his face ferociously serious.

"Mr. Barnes I presume" he extended his hand to shake, but Bucky only looked at it.

"Well I'm sure your not Captain America so who are you" you tried to break the tension.

The tall man eyed you as if you had offended him for speaking out of turn.

"Right this way we will take you to him"

Rude

He turns from you two to walk to the jeep. "Are you sure about this James" you ask softly so that the man can't hear. Bucky looks down at your nervous face and softens his gaze, placing a hand on your lower back.

"It's alright I got you" he reassures you then kisses the top of your head.

Despite his effort that did little to comfort you. When you reached the Jeep Bucky tossed the bags in the trunk then you piled into the back seat first followed by your husband.

The vehicle started up and headed towards a dirt road. Each side of it aligned with trees. The hum of the ride lulled you to sleep and you passed out on his shoulder.

The halting of the jeep woke you. From the back seat you could see a massive wooden gate.

The compound was amazing, encased by a tall log fence surrounding the premises. As you passed through it the site wasn't what you expected. Once inside you could see plowed fields on one side and cattle, sheep and the odd chicken enclosed in its own gate on the other.

It stretched out for a while before you saw cute little wooden houses, some with flowers or little gardens of their own and laundry lines some with or without clothes hanging to dry. You had assumed you would see tents or some kinda shabby twig shack.

Further down the road you saw a much larger structure. As you approached the jeep decreased in speed. There were groups of children playing care free. Some running along the vehicle to beat it to its destination before giving up and turning back.

When the jeep slowed you saw him. There he was, Captain America, standing in front of a massive wooden church. It was the biggest structure out of all the houses you passed along the way.

You could feel Bucky's muscle tense in your arms. Stroking his arm you try and sooth him.

After parking the car the driver walked around to your door and opened it. Helping you out much to your surprise. Bucky filed out after you. Moving past you to walk straight up to Steve.

Captain America out stretched his arms and engulfed Bucky in a bear hug. It took a moment before Bucky lifted his own arms to hug him back.

You watched from the sideline, both men fighting back tears. The reunion had long sense been over due.

"Punk who is this?" Steve broke the hug and looked at you.

Stepping back to put your hand over your shoulder bringing you into a side hug. "This is my wife Y/N"

Steve eyed you and smiled. You felt so small all of a sudden.

"Welcome Y/N" his hand out stretched to receive yours. His smile blindingly bright.

"I've heard so much about you. I mean not just because your Captain America." If you would've blinked you would have missed  it. There was a slight twitch in his eye. You reach to shake his hand and he clasps his hands over your own.

His grip was firm but not too much. Slipping your hand out it felt as if his hands resisted the break for just a moment. Almost as if his fingers tips linger to tickle atop your skin.

"No one calls me that any more. Here... Here I'm just Steve."

"Well, Steve this place is very impressive" you smile at him. "I must say I expected little grass huts not actual houses." You didn't miss the smirk on Steve's face.

"Every building was built by hand. We teach all the men how to do carpentry" he boasted. "And we run everything on solar energy."

"But no running water I'm afraid, but we are working on  it"

"Wait, just the men?" You corked a brow.

"Ha... the women are welcome to learn too, but they tended to gravitate else where"

You had an assumption of what he might have meant, but you didn't want to press him on it. James was reuniting with his dear friend after such a long time. You didn't want to ruffle any feathers.

"After a long trip like that I'm sure you two must be hungry"

He was right. You hadn't eaten since you left the US. The plane ride had your stomach in knots so you couldn't eat there either.

Leading the way Steve rounded the opposite side of the church with Bucky right on his side. Both chatting about past missions or the war you weren't quite sure. Bucky looked so happy, the smile on his face made your heart ache. You were happy for him, but Steve would glance back at you as he spoke to Bucky. There was a smile on his face all the while but his eyes looked as if they hid something.

The aroma of the food hit your nose taking your attention away from him. As you looked about for the location of the food your stomach to growl.

You weren't sure if it was a special occasion or if this was a nightly occurrence. In the distance you saw women setting the tables with food and plates. Each table aligned next to each other. When the bell rang you were startled. It must've signaled that dinner was ready because people where gravitating to the tables taking a seat.

Steve of course sat at the head of one of the largest tables. Bucky sat next to him while you sat across from your husband. As people filled in the people sat and talked amongst themselves. The food look great, but you wondered if it would be bland. As you looked around the room you could feel eyes on you when you turned to look at Bucky he wasn't looking at you, but when you looked at Steve you saw him as he just looked away.

When Steve rose from his chair the room grew quite. All eyes looked at him.

"Let us say grace" his voice boomed. The woman next to you nudged your arm, her hand turned up right ready to receive yours. Awkwardly you take her hand.

"Steve's too" she whispered into your ear before she lowered her head. You turned your head and found Steve's hand waiting expectedly. His head down with one eyes open looking towards you to take his hand. Timidly you take his too the then he closes his eyes. You look around the room and even Bucky was bowing his head, so as to not be rude you did the same.

This was very awkward for you. As your hand rested in Steve’s you felt his thumb trace slowly around your palm. It took everything in you not to snatch your hand away. You didn't want to cause a scene in this peaceful moment, but you sure as hell would tell your husband what just happened.

When he finished the prayer you pulled your hand away swiftly. Rubbing against the fabric of your jeans as to scrub him off. Bucky was once again in deep conversation with Steve and everyone else resumed talking. Leaving you to feel lonely and out of place.

A little girl not older than 10 you thought came with a pitcher to refill your glass. The poor thing poured too much spilling on to your lap.

"Shit!"  You looked around and every one had paused. The little girl was almost in tears. "Oh no it's okay sweetie" you took a napkin and blotted your wet blouse.

She looked passed you for only a second before she cried and ran off.

"Shit fuck" you sighed out.

"You shouldn't be cursing like that" the woman that sat next to you admonished. For a moment you forgot where you were. Of course a place like this would look down at that kinda language."

"Sorry my bad" Looking at Bucky he only smiled knowing how you were, but you caught Steve’s expression before he changed it. Unpleased.

Oh great

Your clothes weren't getting drier and your body was running on E.

"Um Steve" you reluctantly turned to talk to him as you dabbed yourself. "Where are we going to be staying I think I would like to change out of this and call it a day." Yawning as you spoke to him. The effects of the long day was taking its toll.

"You will be guest at my home." Steve waved over to one of the women at the table. You go up and walk over to Bucky. Wrapping your arms around his neck you lean down to give him a kiss. "Have fun" he kisses you again before you depart.

The woman Steve called older was a bit elderly. Smiling at you she wordlessly guided you to Steve's house. Walking through the grassy knoll you could see a house just past the church. It was larger than the houses you saw along the road. Facing opposite the church she walked up the stairs through the back door. The door lead to the kitchen. You continue following her until she stops in front of the guest rooms door. Your bags already waiting for you.

"Thank you Mrs." you say to her as she smiles back at you before gingerly walking off and out of the house.

Closing the door you strip down. You wanted to take a bath, but  you remembered there was no running water. The queen bed called out to you. Flopping on it you drift off to sleep.

You awoke to a faint sound. Through your tired state you listened intently. Someone was crying. Your heart fell when you realized it was Bucky.

"James?" you groggily call out. Getting off the bed you walk over to him.

"Are you alright?"

Clearing his throat he assured you he was fine. Hugging tightly you rub his back and you could feel his tears fall on your shoulder.

You couldn't imagine how he must've felt to loose a friend and find them again in the ways they have. The emotional toll it must be taking on them both.

This was the worst time to talk about this, but you were never much for holding your tongue. Stepping back from the hug you took a deep breath and blurted it out.

"James I don't think I like Steve"

Bucky looked at you quizzically, you felt like shit.

"What do you mean" he looked a little upset but still listened.

"I feel like he lingers. His touches, his eyes on me. He just makes me.." You say as you sat down heavily on the mattress.

He swooped down on the bed to get close to you. Placing his hands on your shoulders rubbing you.

"Steve and I are from a different time. The Punk has always been awkward around beautiful women"

Dipping down his head to be level with yours he began kissing you. The salty taste of his tears fell on your tongue as he   passionately kissed you.

Pulling back you thought that maybe he was right. Maybe all of this was making you paranoid or weird. Steve was from a different time and this place felt like it was from a different world.

"Your right its just a little different here. I'm sorry" you try and back track.

Pushing you backwards you hit the rough mattress. Bucky stripped himself of his clothes. His hands reached for your knees spreading them apart so that he could position himself between your thighs.

Wrapping your legs around his waist you press him to your sex, grinding on him with a desperate need. He dived to your lips kissing you again rougher than before. This time with a hunger that you both shared.

"Fuck Bucky... Fuck me" you pant in-between breaths. His cock growing harder as it slicks with your juices. Lining himself up he pushed into your need and you claw into his back as his cock stretches you.

"Y/N" he moaned into your mouth as he began pumping harder and harder. His pelvis slamming into you and despite the pain of the fullness you could feel a damn of pleasure waiting to break.

"Bucky baby" you moaned as he kissed down your chin to your neck.

The modest home walls were thin, Steve stood out side his guest room. Stroking himself to the music of your love making unbeknownst to you. Sweat beaded off his forehead as he imagined you. Placing a palm on the door-frame he grunts as he feels himself reaching his peak. As Bucky shouts your name Steve whispers it in the empty hall.

*Ding Dong

The sound of the church bells could not be ignored. Your eyes opened with annoyance at the noise. The light of dawn had not even begun to crack the sky.

Patting the mattress you discovered your husband gone. He had been know not to sleep well some nights and would walk around your house, but you felt uneasy and worried this time. Something felt off.

*Ding Dong

Throwing your feet off the bed you stand to get up. In the darkened room you feel around for the dresser to find a long shirt and your cell, but it was missing. Feeling along the wall you search for the light switch, but when you find and flick it nothing happens. From what you could see, he wasn't anywhere in the room. You bit your bottom lip and pushed yourself forward toward the door.

Opening the door you peer out the area was darkened too.

"James" you whisper into the hall. Leaving the room you begin to walk down the tiny hall of the unfamiliar house.

*Ding Dong

Feeling around the wall you search for your husband. At the end of the hall you could make out the large living room window. Despite its size the light that came from it did little to illuminate the room.

"Shit!" You cursed as you bumped into some corner table. The panic building in you helped dull the pain.

"James" you call out a bit louder as your eyes scanned the room.

*He wasn't here.

Off to the right you could see the entry to the kitchen. You gingerly walk into it hoping to find him, but your stomach tightened when you saw the back door wide open.

*Ding Dong

The bells of the church was louder here. Building up the nerve you slowly walk to it.

Before the bell could chime again you felt something impale you hard from behind. The pain from it was so immense your vision went from blurred dizziness to black in an instant.

Your back ached in discomfort as your eyes fluttered open. Laying on the floor you turn, but your shoulder hit a ceiling. When the smell of cedar hit your nose the panic really set in. There was very little light that broke through the seams of the  wall, but you couldn't see through it. It felt like you were running out of air as your heart picked up speed.

Your finger tips felt around and you filled with dread. You were surrounded by four walls.

"Bucky!" You screamed. You bang your hands on the wooden ceiling. "James! Help me please!"

Your were hysterical you needed out. If this was a nightmare you needed to awake. You shouted and screamed for your husband, but he didn't answer.

"Buckyyyyyy!" You screamed.

You beat the ceiling even as you felt blood trickle down on your face from your bloodied fist. The air felt thinner and thinner as you whaled.

"Bucky" your voice fainter now as you felt yourself slipping away. You couldn't catch a breath, your hands too heavy to hold up. Falling limp on your chest as you try and call for him again, but the darkness consumed you once more.

tag list: @shadowcatsworld @sllooney @tinystudentfirepurse

[selfcareparker]

(lovely anon) i'm so happy to finally be answering this oh my goodness hi gorgeous human being i feel that it has been too long 🥲 SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE THE LAST TIME I'VE WRITTEN ONE OF THESE HOW HAVE YOU BEEN

to answer the things you have said most recently- i'm so mad that spring break is over bc now i have to go back to life??? like dancing and school and shit that feels so unnessacry 😭 and like i can't just do nothing anymore? i was so used to it and now...... ugh. i STILL haven't played sims (i think it's because ✨depression✨ be hitting sometimes) lol but MWAHAH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR!AU AND THAT THEY HAD LITTLE BABY LEO!! i feel the name thing.. i just come up with something that sounds nice? i think leo is a nice name, it makes me think about lea michele and the fact that her son's name is Ever Leo but anyway. i don't name my sims after what i want to name my children irl either... idk why though. (i don't know why i'm telling you this but for boy names i love Liam🥰 and if i had twin boys i think i would do Liam and Peter though i am not married to the name Peter.... anywho)

LMAOOO the therpaist coming made me laugh thank you :)) i hope it's helpful? this may be tmi but i've only really had negative thoughts recently and not many healthy outlets so i'm hoping crossing one thing off this sad list will make me feel better :') i think during spring break my anxiety and my depression really spiked? idk, it comes in episodes but yeah THIS GOT REALLY SAD

i think a lot of things when i read your posts but i never say them hahaha so imma say it now: i googled what bon appetit meant ( i also just had to google how to spell it ) but ur right, i feel like bone apple tea makes more sense than bone apple teeth.. the "th" is throwing me off bc how i say it bone appa (like app-a) teet (like you're saying tit but teet lol) so bone apple tea makes more sense to me lol

i never know really know the time difference for anything lmao but est to germany (that's not gmt is it?) is like 6 hours wOAH so it's like 9pm while it’s 3pm here? wowee

i feel mega weird after watching this show called hollywood (darren criss is in it, so is laura harrier and a bunch of other people) but i don't like it💀 i feel really icky rn and idk why but reading your last response to my ask (?) always makes me feel better :')

i am doing what you said btw, i'm typing this on my computer first then gonna transfer it to my phone's tumblr lol but when you said a digital detox, it's interesting cuz i feel like i've been having one since tom's new project was announced? gOD i don't wanna get into it bc i get so triggered but i've been off of instagram since then bc instagram stans literally stand by tom through whatever even when something ain't right- i’m just gonna leave it there bc i’ll continue the rant, but yeah so i took a break lol

also heard abt your driving lesson thing (?) was it that bad? i can't find the old post but someone asked if you hooked up with your lesson person and i was sOOO CONFUSED LMAOO LIKE OK ARIA GET SOME BUT UHH HUH?

now to address the actual response HAHA the way you touch my heart :') by :') bringing :') up :') halle :') being ariel :') (i honest to God don't remember if i brought this up first, forgive me if i did, it's been a minute lmao) i'm always talking about it and i'm pretty sure my family is so tired of me talking about it lmao, but YEAH when i found out they weren't twins i was so surprised but idk why i always thought they were twins? but YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE WITH THE DISNEY TALK- everyone is always like "tiana is my favorite princess" and yea she's strong and stuff but...... she was a frog. for almost the whole time. it's about time we got another one!! i do agree with some people on the fact that disney should just make another black princess but halle is adorable and i was ariel on stage so it's already really special to me :')

yeah lol there are good times with my brothers but they make me mad for a good portion of the time (there's the 12yo vincent and the 7yo daniel but vincent??? psshhh he is a piece of work and i'm not sure how much longer i can put up with him HAJAH AND YES VINCENT IS THE ONE WHO WAS 👁👄👁WHEN I CRIED AND THE ONE WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC- writing this now makes it sound like vincent is awful. which he isn't... we're working on him ig. not to add to the awfulness but no, he listens to obnoxious loud VIDEO GAME MUSIC and won't stop when we ask him to stop... he gets beat up a lot) anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌

yeah let me know if you end up watching it (wandavision)! i think it's great but if you like it lmk!! tfatws is sooo good like PHEW i am honestly loving it. sidenote: j*hn w*lker makes me wanna jump through the screen and choke him to the ground. i was thinking right, and the falcon and the winter soldier (THATS SO MUCH EASIER FAJHKDAH) would techinally be like a 10 hour movie right? because every episode is an hour long and there'll be 10 episodes? like wow. i get what you mean though, abt the racism in the show etc, like looking forward to it but not like..... no i get what you mean i will not try and give another example lol but you make me wanna learn more languages like really badly (bc of what you said about the german to american translation) & if you end up watching hamilton PLEASE LMK ABT THAT TOO HAHAHA i love it so much, same thing with lion king lmaoo

speaking of germany, i was at lunch on saturday with my mom and her friend and we were talking about my schooling and like-- she planted this idea in my head lol like what if i just got my GED and went around the world (to england probably) to get a theatre experience??? and i think it sounds so cool but no where near practical lol, it's just..... the dream haha and i would then try and learn a language 😉

uh yes we absolutely should order basically a resturant meal at a cinema, how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?

also about cherry (which i still haven't watched yet lol) i got the timestamps from tumblr😌 i couldn't find them anywhere else, but i agree, i probably wouldn't even look twice at cherry if tom wasn't in it? like i liked tdatt a lot, but it's not a movie i would be itching to see ya know?

HAHAHAHA THE 24 HOUR NOTIFICATION- i think i have around 1030 hours on sims? but i've had it since 2019 lmao (reading the screenshots, yes u are 100% a genuis, i take screenshots too but on anon you can't upload them so i just read them and retype what i wrote lmao) i think the university experience in the game is fun, but time consuming and it's all work imo. idk why i do it so often tho 😭😭😭

and agreed!! when you're making good money in the game you have to find other ways to make it interesting. my cousins who play it just continously do "motherlode" and i'm like.... then what do you do in your game?? it just sounds boring to me... my current sims household, i had a famous comedian sim, her name was dylan, aND SORRY IM LAUGHING SO HARD WHILE WRITING THIS BC ITS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THE UNI THING UNLESS IM JUST DUMB, she went to college for communications when i wanted her to be a comedian and when she graduated i realized that degree did nothing for the career 🥲 so yeah, i think i'm just dumb. but she had a kid in college, guy didn't stick around and she was pretty broke HA but then she got married to this (great) guy named steve, made good bank, had 5 more kids (two sets of twins and one more lol) but then she passed. uhm... yeah that's still an open wound . lol i'm kidding, but when you get rich like that, you have to find a way to make the game interesting and i chose a million kids.

(this was one giant paragraph until i broke it up uhh yeah) i seriously don't pay attention to the sims prices and just end up spending way too much money and not being able to finish the rest of the house😭 but then again, i'm so used to having sims live in apartments... if i end up building a house FIRST OF ALL it'll look like what you explained before lmao but i'll tell you if i actually end up building a house HAHA & planning out your sims game is so fun to me lol, did enisa and michael take in his daughter yet? i may be thinking too far ahead lol and i love that they fucked woohooed (i say woo woo lol) in celebration HAHA but when i was playing with this one couple i had them woo woo every night hoping the dude would have horrible pull out game and they would concieve, but one night they were too tired and i was like why? get back in there man. if i was in college and lived with my partner we would be fucking every night homie. be grateful. i have been talking a lot about sims, and like you said: enough 💀 i just love this game a lot 😭😭

SORRY LAST THING i think the sims romantic and sexual stuff is so nice bc its what i want?? LMAO IDK like the whole hot tub thing you're talking about- puh lease ITS JUST NICE TO SEE OKAY

i'm reading the german section over again and i said aloud "my german friend is so cool" lol (i was saying that to my brothers & i know they don't care LMAO) (& i'm glad the uni zoom call went well!!) so on a form, in german, it could possibily say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer because you would be a participant to an introductory event? i swear german sounds so cool 😌 but i love reading your german lessons!! it's really interesting, most of the time my brain can't comprehend it tho?? like that word makes sense to you, but i need a translation. like to be able to look at that and know what it says.... its just appealing and seems so cool lol i kinda wanna write something out in german but i feel that google translate will fail me. während googeln "google übersetzen" mein Computer war so verdammt langsam und es fühlte sich einfach wie etwas Gutes auf Deutsch zu sagen. ich bin nicht sicher, welches Wort ist "fucking", aber ich mag es lmao (did it fail me like i thought it would??)

LMAOOO THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP JUSTIN BC WHILE AT THE RESTURANT THEY PLAYED A JUSTIN SONG AND I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU AND THIS STORY😭 lol i was thinking it's depending on your age but not even that either... i really don't know.... but tom's fans are hollanders💀 i would consider myself one? he's the only person i'm really into like that (like a lot lol) so idk lmao (directioners 💔💔the pain is real)

LMAOOO (both of these paragraphs started off with “lmaooo” smh) "i like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death" PLEASE, i don't like pete's blonde hair... i just don't. i'm not sure if i wasn't watching the most recent snls but yea. my mom thinks he looks like trash, but i think he's okay? like he said staten island people just look like trash LMAO and I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN KING OF STATEN ISLAND GIRL I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT!! now i'm gonna make plans to watch it lmao, & yes agreed i find pete hot, don't ask why i really couldn't explain it to someone he's just .

my favorite songs from rex are from pony oh my goodness 🥺 anywho i'm gonna go eat cereal (i ended up eating bun and cheese instead) and listen to the Stormzy songs you recommended... aria. aria aria aria. i would like to thank you for introducing me to stormzy i- i don't have any words or any emojis to express HOW GOOD STORMZY IS. i hope he's popular in germany/the uk because i haven't heard of him but GURLLLL

one second - delicious i love it. it's really good. it’s not my favorite from the album, but its great.

superheroes - at first i played the non-explicit one (on accident) and wondered why the words weren't playing but i was reading them in the lyrics??? THIS ONE THOUGH??? IS THE BEST SONG I THINK I'VE EVER HEARD. i am so SO SO into black people empowering songs (like brown skin girl by beyonce) and this song???? PHEW I CRYYYYY ITS SO GOOD.... i was gonna quote some lyrics BUT THERS TOO MANY I LOVE, "i am young, black, beautiful, and brave" "black queen, you're immaculate, it's coming at the world, they ain't ready for your magic yet, and that was never your fault" THAT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT- I ALMOST CRIED THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL (i played it twice lol)

lessons is another beautiful one, like its slow and it feels intimate and nurturing and just OO chefs kiss, beautiful . like you can feel the apology and the regret... it’s so good

own it - OWN IT OWN IT OWN IT IS AMAZING!! swear you would catch me dancing to this song, this song is so fucking good i cannot comprehend like this one might be my favorite for real... "it's the way you wind up your waist, i'm so in awe, you never have to worry abt nothing, you know its yours, you know you own it" 🥲 i played it two or three times honestly

rachael's little brother - YES I DID LISTEN TO IT LMAO AND YES I LIKE IT, its a very complex song and it's very layered in terms of emotions i think and i really like that about it. i probably won't listen to it that often, but its really good. i would recommend this song to my "older brother" bc he would just absolutely love this

shut up - i was taking this song seriously (also very good) until i heard him say shu-T up LMAO, this one is good, i probably wouldn't listen to it 24/7 like rachael's little brother but honestly its still fire

before listening to blinded by your grace and vossi bop, i know you brought up the religion bit, i definitely don't mind that, especially because i'm Christian lol and i actually liked that he brought up God in some of his songs like idk i just like it🥰🥰

(i then went to bed after that lol but first thing in the morning i listened to superheroes and... that song is probably my favorite tbh, i was gonna write MORE quotes that i loved from it but, yeah no there's too many. if you want i'll tell you lmao but this is already so long i would just be quoting the whole friggin song)

VOSSI BOP IS A BOP (lol) I CANT EVEN LIE, i love a song that hypes up a dude's girl so the line- i love that my phone decided to fail to load the lyrics, lemme google it, okay the lyric "looking at my girl like what a goddess" i was like AYEEE its honestly just really good. and no one in america says "sauce" like "i've got the sauce" but now i do (thanks to love island and Nas from last season) and now stormzy so (also im gonna watch the music video for superheroes bc it looks great so 😛)

(because this is already so long i feel like i shouldn't finish the rest but . no i'm gonna do it)

now for blinded by your grace pt2 idk why i’m nervous lmaoo PAUSE I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH THE SONG GIRL THIS SONG IS *chefs kiss* no words, speechless PHEW y'all gon make me start jumping around. why did i not know about stormzy before, he is amazing i- ok yeah i finished the song, all i have to say is that Stormzy is immaclucate. period. i am literally sending his music to all my friends he is..... amazing

you want my song recommendations 🥺🥺 hmm uh okay lol i listen to a lot of old music, whitney houston, marvin gaye, queen, celine dion, i love "more than words" by extreme uhmm okay, but for actual music i listen to on the daily? (this is a lot of different music like.... they do not go together lmao so be prepared) a song about being sad by rex orange county, betty by taylor swift and lover by taylor swift and... most of that album lol, treasure by bruno mars lmao, OOOO and versace on the floor by bruno as well, lazybaby by dove cameron, creep by tlc has been on repeat lol, deja vu by olivia rodrigo (i saw what you said about drivers license and AGREED LMAO but i like deja vu a lot more haha) and two albums that i listen to in general, rare by selena gomez and ungodly hour by chloe x halle 🥰 you don't have to listen to all of them or any of them lol but that's a sense of what i'm into :) so basically everything haha, i'm into literally every single kind of music really so i wasn't too surprised that i enjoyed stormzy :’)

HAHASBSJHAHA your h20 story cracked me up,, like "wow these actors are so dedicated, learning german just for us" 😭 the beauty of overdubbing

once again, math and maths, in my mind maths makes sense because its mathmatics, but saying maths doesn't feel right to me lol, like if i said maths i feel like everyone would look at me like ??? and yea i was taught it as math so its just more natural for me. but yes math/maths is disgusting, easily one of my least favorite subjects so .

mkay. i- the first time i read this i could not contain my laughter when you said the only pollen you know is sex pollen LMAOKOOSHBABJFAJF STOPPP I'M EVEN LAUGHING WRITING THIS,, anyway. wow! that's interesting, my dad (<<< mostly anything else) gets migraines from the sun and the heat and stuff, yesterday (sunday, i was outside for like hours watching my brothers play football, the american kind lol) i was in the sun for like ever and i got a headache😔

summer clothes🥲 i need to go shopping fr fr. for my birthday my mom and dad got me a giftcard like dedicated to a shopping spree and we've yet to go so..... i should bring it up to my mom lol, but!! i went bra shopping (ended up returning literally all of them cuz they honestly didn't work for day to day work? its a long story) and if i could i would walk around in this new "summer bra" i got, i would. it's so fricking cute and its really light fabric (which isn't perfect for my nipples but still) so i don't get hot in it, but that bra and some shorts would be perfect. its the closest thing to being naked so

IS THE BIRD STILL BOTHERING U ARIA, TELL ME NOW ISTG, i laughed really hard that the bird isn't stupid and is really trying to torture you LMAOO like i was rolling, it wants you to suffer, badly

when you said "mensus" it was still close to mens!!! latin speaking queen 😌😌

okay STORYTIME i was reading back your response and started (fake) crying bc i love you lol and my youngest brother (daniel) gon say "oh man, catherine's crying about something we don't care about, again" I--- i swear when i tell you about them they sound awful, but they aren't that bad, just the stuff i say about them is sounds really mean LMAO

but the thing you said about being kind, same, what i always say is: don't be the person that makes people say "i hate people" ya know? like there's no reason to be a jerk or anything.... but its true 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you are really kind and every time i talk to you i would like to personally fly to germany and give you a hug 💖💕💞💗💓💝💖💘

& i'm gonna show my stretch marks some love bc of you 🥺😭 i really hate how men have basically everyone conditioned that you can't love your own body </3 fuck them, y'all beautiful :')

also thanks for what you said :')) you literally are the kindest, sweetest person i think i've ever spoken to and i love you 🥰🥺🥲💓💗

READING YOUR TAGS HAHAHHAHA the spelling errors makes everything so much funnier. once again, i like your german lessons & yea!! i'm gonna play sims after writing this hahah

#catherine's tags are back #i don't think i've told you my name before?? #anyway it's catherine🥰🥰🥰 #i'm typing this on my computer (without emojis) and if i didn't edit this you would be reading shit shite like #heartface and pout and cry LMAO #yeah abt the tattoos #some stuff with my parents i'm like deal with it??? lol #my mom tells me "if there's something you enjoy or you like but i don't have the same opinion on it... why would my (my mom's) opinion matter? #and i love that #like i'm not gonna go and do whatever i want #but if my mom doesn't like that i swear (which isn't true just an example) #its like okay.... #but whatever #and your tattoo ideas sound really cute!! #and yeah @ your parents, i mean you aren't getting something wild #and the tattoo album>>> #i'm gonna look up ariana's butterfly tattoos just so i know what you mean lol #but i'm guessing you don't want something so incredibily simple, but not super like over the top? #correct me if i'm wrong lol #LMAO the tags were in order don't worry ! #and yeah lol ily2 <33 #and once again, again, sorry for this post JSHJS ITS A MESS AND LONG AS HELL #and you don't need to go in order of my post its literally longer than your german compound words #u're fine #also !!! while writing this the birds were chirping outside and i was like 😳 #and one of your fics (i’ve read all of them, i don’t remember lol) that valentine’s day one where y/n had lingerie on (the pancake one lol) #inspired me to buy lingerie #like when i look back on me “growing up” #that fic & basically you lol really helped with that #that made no sense and i don’t know how to make it make sense... but... yeah. like ily

hiiiiiiiiiii <3333

Dear catherine, 😌

(you have said your name before, but it wasn‘t like an introduction or anything i think you were talking about .... was it possibly the incident at the cinema??? And you said something like ‘calm down catherine‘ like you were telling yourself to calm down idkd dkdkkdkd anyway i didn‘t mention it cause i wasn‘t sure if it was an accident or not dkdjd but now i know 😌❤️ Catherine is such a cute and lovely name btw omg and so are your brothers‘s names 🥰

Sorry that I‘m answering this so late, it‘s been an emotional rollercoaster for me since last week but i‘ll get to that in a second lol

Sksklssk girl i haven‘t played sims in like 2 weeks now ekejdkdlldld ok that‘s not that long at all actually but i keep wanting to play but then i end up not playing for whatever reason, so no news about my sims game 😔 but i love the names Liam and Peter and for twins!!! That sounds really nice actually

okay i‘m trying to answer your ask in chronological answer even though i wanted to wait for the depressing stuff and write it at the end or something OKAY so. i thought that i‘d feel so good when i start uni and that i‘ll like... have a purpose in life again and just be happy (cause in the last year i didn‘t do much and i was depressed like half of the time lol).... anyway i kind of feel even worse now? 😭 i think it‘s because in my brain it‘s like: university!!! that means your life will change and it‘ll all be so exciting. and don‘t get me wrong it is exciting butttt..... idk the online thing is so weird cause you‘re not meeting any new people (i‘m introverted anyway but still lol) and it doesn‘t feel like you‘re listening to/talking to actual people cause it feels the same as just watching a video?

also i thought i‘d be busy again but i only have one lecture (90mins) a day and theres one day where i dont have any lectures at all and just one day where i have 3 hours but.... idk i mean i shouldn‘t complain about having so much free time but i just don‘t know what to do all day and in a pandemic there really is nothing to do but i also can‘t relax bc it‘s like during the week and i know i have uni the next day and .... yeah.

There‘s also this one assignment i had to do that took me AT LEAST SIX HOURS AND IM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING????? so that was the only thing i‘ve been doing besides “going to“ lectures. for this one course we have to read two (really really long) texts (like it literally took me 3 hours to read them) and we‘re supposed to post it on this website that all the professors in our uni use. So after 5 days of anxiety (✌🏼) i posted mine this morning bc last night i realised that i didn‘t even know why i was having anxiety so i just posted mine today. The deadline is tomorrow at 12 and no one except me has posted theirs yet........ so i have anxiety again 🥰 cause idk if i‘m the only one who did it or if i even did it correctly

Edit while i‘m rereading this: my anxiety about uni is a lot better and i‘m not as d*pressed anymore maybe it was just hormones? idk but i‘m better so that‘s good

(I started writing this like 5 hours ago and then i randomly completely forgot lol)

I‘m in a better mood now though so let‘s move on from that (oh wait also, i think i‘m gonna see if i can find a psychiatrist bc with my anxiety symptoms (long story) i need to go to a psychiatrist, and so far i‘ve only gone to like psycholgists and it didn‘t help but i think that‘s just bc i was meant to go to a psychiatrist and not a psychologist so dldjdjsj

n e ways but yes you‘re not alone, ily, things will get better and yes i love you (i‘m not good at this type of thing🥲 but i‘d hug you right now if i could <3)

Yess i think the time difference between est and me is 6hours but gmt is uk time i believe? i think mine is called.... cet? For central european time? I could be completely wrong though lmao

Oof i completely forgot about hollywood, i remember when laura kept posting about it on instagram but i never actually watched it and i definitely won‘t now lmaodkdksjsn

Okay my driving lesson LEBDJDKDK I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH ANYONE AKSJSKSMMLM especially not my 40 or 50 year old driving instructor lol i like her but NOT LIKE THAT, the lesson was really really really good actually and i think i‘ll have my driving test soon, but i don‘t even remember why the anon would have thought that??? Oh wait now i remember okay KEKSKDLDL so during the lesson my instructor was like do you mind if i turn on some music? AND THIS WOMAN TURNED ON ONE DIRECTION I LOVE HER so i made a post about it and i said something about the song up all night and i guess i phrased it in a .... idk in a dumb way 💀 so the anon made a joke that i stayed up with my driving instructor all night and NO. No.

Wait did i read that right? YOU WERE ARIEL ON STAGE? SIALDBDJDKSLMSBDKDMDMDKDJSLSMDJFJJEDMBFEKLEFBJDLDVSIDLESKSKWKDKDJDOWNYUEKWNDUWLNSUFLWVSUDLEHDOENSIDBEISBEHENJELBSIEMWUDNRIW KB WOBE JO ON SBEUU HIII S HWS LV W ICH US KB okay this keyboard smash is getting out of hand but uh please do elaborate on that 💘😌???? Like you can‘t just drop that information and not say more??? I forgot if you‘re in like your school‘s drama group (is that a thing? lol idk anything about acting) or in an independent group? Either way - ARIEL that is so fucking cool

Your brothers loooooool, no i get it though obviously you love them and stuff but esp at their age children are so annoying so good luck with them 😭😭😭lmao

Yeah “anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌“ yeah just me and my parents who constantly fight 🥰 lmao no i like being an only child, like i cannot imagine having siblings but i feel like if i had siblings i would be saying that i can‘t imagine being an only child so? but i do think it‘s quite different like i‘m trying to imagine having siblings and WHAT that‘s just so different omg i‘ve never really thought about it like properly ???

I saw a tik tok the other day that was like “sometimes i forget that my siblings have a life of their own. like i see them as side characters in my life“ and even though i can‘t relate obviously i felt that. lol, like i can really imagine how it feels idk what i‘m talking about like shut the fuck up, daria

(also my actual name is daria not aria but i dont like it, and also i wanted to be more anonymous on tumblr so now i‘m aria lmao. pls don‘t mention it though cause no one knows except for you and mel (peterbenjiparker) dkdkdkdnkdnd. but i‘m starting to identify with the name cause everyone keeps calling me that looool😭😭😭 (but i like the name, more than daria anyway? well it also depends on the accent, cause the way germans say daria is okay. the was Americans say it is also okay, but some of my family in England are from the north of england and i don‘t like how they say my name 💀 no offence to them(?) but yeah pls don‘t mention the name in your ask cause the chance of people seeing it is higher then (or if you want to say something about it just send a separate ask and i just won‘t post it (IDK what you‘d want to say about my name but yeah just in case slsldlldmsndnsns)

I‘m loving falcon and winter soldier so much but when i was watching an episode the week before last week (?) my laptop broke😭😭😭😭 during the scene where the dora milaje came at the end my laptop just shut down? And it had these lines all over the screen and i had to bring it to the shop where i bought it and they said it‘ll take 6-8 weeks to repair 💔💔💔 but at least it‘ll be for free, cause if i brought it back to apple it would cost like 400€ (i think that‘s nearly 500$) so yeah. but it sucks cause now i‘m “going to uni“ on a really old rusty laptop and on my phone which kinda sucks. oh yeah and also i can‘t watch anything on there 😭 i definitely want to watch wandavision but it‘ll have to wait🤧

Yessss you should def get your GED! I googled and I‘m still not entirely sure what it is dldks but from how you described it- YES!!!!!!

Idk if you know this? Like no idea if I‘ve told you this already (hmmm wait i feel like we talked about it actually?) anyway i was originally gonna go study in England, but for loads of reasons I ended up staying in Germany and I‘m def happy with my decision, but I definitely want to go to England sometime even if it‘s just for six months or maybe for my masters or something? And (obviously everyone is different) but i think everyone should go abroad and live in a different country once in their life, no matter if it‘s for school or what, and even if it‘s just for a few weeks. But i think that‘s something that you‘d never ever forget! And combining that with your acting/theatre??? You really would be living the dream 💘💘😌

how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?— sounds good see you soon 🥰🥰🥰

i used to be one of the people who‘d just do motherlode motherlode motherlode and just... what did i do? Why did i do that??? But not anymore lol. Like I said i haven‘t played sims in a few weeks but i‘ve been watching a few legacy challenge let‘s plays and usually i play with the aging off. So my sims just don‘t age 💀 but i could (should) turn aging on so that it stays exciting and i have limited time and everything. and once i get bored with my current sims i can just make them have kids and continue playing as their children when they get older- like recently i remembered that i haven‘t played the acting career in ages? and i haven‘t had a shop in ages? and i think you can even become a vet right??? like those are definitely some things i want to do in the next weeks!!! Also yes sksksjs i have a few hundred hours on sims as well (if not thousands 😭) it was just that one household that i‘d been playing with for 24hrs

AND GIRL SSKSKJD THE UNIVERSITY THING HAPPENED TO ME TOO, it was a while ago so i don‘t remember what degree and what job it was about but i made my sim study something for aaaaaages so she‘d get a better job from the beginning (you know what i mean like get in at a higher level)...... and i apparently studied the wrong thing cause i didn‘t get any benefits from studying and still had to start at level 1 and shit 🥴🥲

Oh also (this was like 2 weeks ago) Enisa and Michael did take in Michael‘s daughter and i think Enisa currently even has a higher/better relationship with the daughter than Michael but um💀💀💀 also i was hoping (since michael and enisa married (in their back yard i think lol) that the daughter (i forget what her name is😭) would have enisa as her step mom? Like you know how you can see the relationship and it says daughter or son or sister.. and i was hoping that it would say step mom but it doesn‘t say anything 🥲 but in my mind (and if the sims had proper family relations) she is her step mom😌 also Leo is a teenager now???? I mean I aged him up lol dkdk he was being too annoying as a toddler but i don‘t like children so i aged him up twice in one day and now he‘s a teen, but that means he can look after his half sister when she becomes a toddler which is good (the game recognises them as siblings tho even if they‘re just half siblings? why can‘t they have step family members in the sims🥲) okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

I‘ve been a bit sick these past few days and now i‘m getting a headache so i have to finish this response tomorrow 😭😭😭 </3

.

It‘s not tomorrow, it‘s 3 hours later but i‘m better lol

oooff when sims are ungrateful and won‘t woo woo (lol i like that) cause they‘re too tired like?? Be grateful that you‘re not living with your parents anymore 🙄 no okay dkdkdkdl idk if you play with mods (i don‘t) but i know there is a mod (or it‘s part of a mod idk maybe wicked whims?) where you can adjust the percentage of how risky a normal woo woo is, like you still click woo woo (3dksksks okay i‘ll say woohoo again— wait is that what’s it called? 😭) but there‘s like a 25% chance that your sim can still get pregnant just like in real life there‘s always a chance of getting pregnant even if you‘re using protection (just not 25% lmao) but yeah i personally don‘t play with mods sksk and you can always just click try for baby but it would be cool if you could add stuff like risky woohoo to the game without mods (i have no idea how to download mods and i play sims on a really really old laptop and sims is literally tje only thing that works on it anyway so—) i repeat my words from earlier: okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

okay i‘m so sorry i‘m gonna watch fast & furious 1 now cause i need to watch f&f 1-5 until the 30th of april cause they‘re only on netflix til then (i mean i could watch them somewhere else but the quality is never as good) so i will finish this tomorrow after all😭

it is now 1 am, i finished the film, can feel a new obsession coming up again (i always have these f&f obsessions for six months before and after a new film comes out)

THE GOOGLE TRANSLATE wkekdjdj tbh it sounds like someone is speaking with some kind of foreign accent i guess that‘s probably because it just is a direct translation and so anyway slsjsj i don‘t know if you asked me what the word fucking is in german? like idk cause the translation is a bit weird but in case you asked lol sidjsjs theres not really a good translation like we just say fuck for fuck lmao, i don‘t know if you typed in fucking in google translate and it came out as verdammt? cause that means damn (or damned sksjjs) ummm yeah idek if/what you asked so imma move on🤧

I‘m not gonna comment on what you said about every stormzy song cause you already said all the important things but SKSKSJSJSKNSNDBDUDOENWBSLSKKHSULSLSKSBSJSKSK I WAS SMILING SO HARD WHEN I READ YOUR RESPONSE FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH finally i know someone who loves him as much as i do 💘💘💘 also since you brought it up, i‘m pretty sure he‘s considered the most successful UK rapper or if not then at least top 3 so he‘s defffffffffinitely big in the uk, in germany more and more people are listening to uk rap too but not as much stormzy cause theyre dumb apparently 🙄 but anywY i‘m sooooo sooo happy that you like him. i think hith came out end of 2019 (i could be wrong but i think it came out on the 13th of december so (in a european way) you‘d write the date: 13.12 and obviously i don‘t KNOW this but i can definitely imagine that he chose that date because ACAB and yes, Michael. Yes. But he hasn‘t made too much music since then so i hope he‘s working on some new stuff 🤞🏼

Also i ordered the stormzy poster😌 also a nicki minaj one bc i decided i‘m gonna have one wall with red-ish posters (i already have two kinda red ones) and one with blue/green-ish posters (already have two) and i can add stormzy to the blue one and nicki to the red one, but i think that‘s it cause if my walls are tooo full it could look cluttered? I‘m not sure how that type of thing works lmao but my room is generally untidy so i don‘t want the walls to look unorganised too so i think that‘s it for now

I really want to finish this now but my brain is getting kinda slow and i need to sleep soon so this will have to wait till later after all 🥺🥴 (not that it makes and difference to you bc you‘ll see this whenever i post it buttttt i wanted you to know that i want to talk to you again but with my slow brain i‘m just taking too long to do it in one day😭😭😭 and i‘m so busy tomorrow hmm but i‘m sure i‘ll have 30 minutes to finish this then <3)

Okay wait I‘m so dumb I didn‘t realise I‘d nearly answered everything i could have posted this yesterday 😭😭

Oooohh that summer bra sounds so nice like if i was confident enough i literally would just wear a top that resembles a bra (or really is a bra lol) cause my tiddies always be looking amazing i‘m just insecure about my stomach sometimes 🙄🙄🙄 but recently i‘ve been loving myself more and more tbh 😌

also i hope you can go shopping for some nice clothes soon ✨😌

I‘ll be honest I haven‘t listened to your song recs YET but only because i wanna take my time with them and i‘ve been so busy and slso AJ tracey‘s album came out last week and I haven‘t listened to that one yet either so ekdkdj (he‘s also a uk rapper like quite popular and successful as well, but i feel like i‘m not gonna like his album cause whenever i‘m looking forward to an album it ends up being really bad and the albums where you weren‘t expecting it turn out to be bangers.... so yeah but i‘ll let you know when i listen to your songs!!!! :)

Omg i keep having to scroll up all the way to see the next thing you said so sorry if I completely miss some of the things you said😭😭

So when you sent this the bird was still bothering me oh my FUCK DKDLDMMDMDMD but now i‘ve been going to bed at like 1-2am so the bird is probably still asleep lool

Okay and for the rest of your ask my response is: 💘💖❣️💚❣️💛❣️💛💕💞❤️💓💟💞💕💕💖💘💝💟💟🧡❤️🧡💞💛💚💓💚💚💚❣️🧡💖💘🧡💝🧡💕💘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥰🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘 (okay that looked cuter in my head i don‘t really like the green hearts dldkkdksndnd)

[girlmeetsliv3]

Used to Disappointment

@saxpam24 requested: nerd yandere au. Like the yandere is the one at the top of the class and the OC has the lowest grades, and how he manipulates her with that.

A/N: Hope you enjoy it. I had a lot of fun diving into it. Strap in cause its a doozy.

Trigger Warning: The following story contains mentions of manipulation and abusive acts. The behavior and mindset of the characters in this will be incredibly yandere and toxic. This is a work of fiction and doesn’t represent the character of bangtan sonyeondan. Enjoy ~~~

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           You were used to disappointment. It was the same expression you had been given whenever you went on a date, tried to make friends, or socialize as a normal human would. It was the expression your professor was wearing and you could swear on your life that the moment your mother had given birth to you, she’d worn that same expression - maybe that’s why she gave you up. “I must say [Y/n] [Y/l/n], I am disappointed. I expected more from you.” As if. It took all your will power not to roll your eyes or burst the undeniable dam that was building behind your eyelids, but you would be damned if you gave him that satisfaction. From the corner of your eye, something caught your attention: Kim Namjoon was seated towards the corner of the room filing tests and grading papers, doing every professors job for them, you often wondered why he did it but assumed he was that overachieving. “Mr. Lee I-” Your professor held his wrinkled and calloused hand up to interrupt you. Namjoon glancing up from his work to pay attention to the show being put on by the two of you. “I’ve heard the story time and time again. Really child if you are that dense then simply get a tutor.” Even though you hated the way he spoke to you, the professor wasn’t wrong. Getting a tutor wasn’t something you hadn’t considered or looked into, but there was a problem. “I can’t afford one.” No hint of surprise passed through the elderly man’s face, can’t say you expected it. Not only were you the bottom of the class, but you were also the bottom of the food chain in the high school hierarchy. Even the stoners or criminals ranked higher because at least they didn’t struggle to get food on the table.

           “Well, then I will ask one of the students to consider tutoring you for extra credit. That way it is beneficial to you both.” You knew who he was talking about before he even spoke his name, “Namjoon would you be kind enough to help y/n out, so at the very least she can graduate.” If it wasn’t for the condensing tone or who he asked you would’ve been thrilled, but the moment you saw the bastard rise from the chair and give his dimpled smile you knew exactly what you were in for. “I would love to. It would look exemplary on my transcript.” Look at him using twenty-five cent words. “Well, it's settled you begin tomorrow after class. You’re dismissed [Y/n].” It wasn’t that Namjoon was a bad person. He was simply a highly attractive and highly intelligent individual who was entirely aware of both those things; meaning he was an ass. A smart ass that could help you graduate, but an ass nonetheless. You decided to wait outside the classroom until he got out, so the two of you could arrange things for the tutoring session you told yourself. In reality, the longer he took the more you could avoid going home.

           “I thought you’d left.” His deep voice drawing you out of your thoughts. His gaze was harsh and in his eyes, you knew that he was only doing this out of necessity, not want. “Just wanted to go over what we’re going to do tomorrow. You know where to meet and stuff.” Your voice trailed off, you weren’t the best at speaking. Not to mention the embarrassment of what he had been witness to was still fresh in his mind. “You waited for two hours just for that?” It could have been your mind playing tricks on you, but you sensed some disappointment in his words. “What else could I have been waiting for?” You smiled sheepishly, the awkwardness of the situation only making your anxiety worse. Namjoon groaned and rolled his eyes, “Nevermind. Tomorrow at three, my house I’ll test you the details.” Then he walked off without giving you time to dwell on what he’d just said. “Thanks, I guess,” you muttered, turning to walk the opposite direction. How did he even get my number?

           “The class president? I didn’t know the two of you were close.” Your aunt asked munching rather obnoxiously on the stale fried chicken. “We aren’t. He’s doing it to put it on his transcript and for extra credit.” You pouted, twirling the plastic fork in your hand having no appetite tonight. “Still. Maybe you can seduce him and he’ll get us out of here. Isn’t he the chairman’s son?! Oh, imagine the things we could buy if you became his girlfriend. Or better yet what if the two of you got married?!” She rambled on lost to her daydreams. Your aunt was the type of woman who believed a woman’s only role in life was to be pretty, get married, pop out a few kids, and wreck your husband’s bank account. She liked to say she was born in the wrong generation, but mainly she talked about how much better her life could be. When she reached for the liquor bottles underneath the kitchen cabinet, she expressed how much better her life would have been if she wasn’t forced to take care of you. The woman would cry for hours and hours about what a disappointment she had turned out to be. You despised yet sympathized with her for it. “I don’t know Auntie. It’s just stuff for school. Plus guys don’t look at me like that.” You tugged your bottom lip in between your teeth, biting down on it. “Darling he doesn’t have to fall in love with you, he just needs to fuck you long enough where he becomes attached.” Laughter bellowing out from her, a small piece of chicken landing on the table. With that, you excused yourself and went to bed.

           The look of surprise on Namjoon’s face when he saw you and his attire was enough to tell you he didn’t think you’d show up. It felt a little nice if you were honest. Seeing the always stoic man lose his cool even if it only lasted a second, “Let’s go up to the library. Figured we should start with science considering that’s what you failed last and work our way through every subject till Math.” He spoke bluntly, yet his words cut right through you. Preferring to save grace you opted not to speak and only followed him around the palace-like house. It seems like it would be so easy to get lost here. “It is if you’re not careful.” Blood rushed to your face when you realized you’d spoken your thoughts. The library was on the second floor, second to the last door in the long hallway. “What’s that door lead to?” You gestured to the rustic oak that towered over the two of you looking rather out of place in such a modern house. “Storage room.” Namjoon simply mumbled before dragging you over the threshold. You spent the next three hours having Namjoon rewire and reteach you everything you had ever known. It was exhausting and halfway through your brain had burned out, the only thing that kept your sanity was seeing Namjoon completely in the zone. Before you thought he was merely smart, but now you knew better: before you was a gifted man. Someone who would change the world, you only wished you were more deserving of the knowledge he imparted. “So that is how you identify the limit using the product rule. Are you okay?” The furrow in his brows brought you back from your daydreaming. “Sorry I think I’ve reached my limit.” He nodded but more towards himself than to you, “Well you should head home then. It’s getting late.”

           A large sigh of relief escaped your lips and you stood up and bowed slightly. “Thank you so much for your help. I’m sure I’ll pass the exams now.” You went to leave, but Namjoon wrapped his hands around your wrist tightly prohibiting you from moving. “You are coming back, right [Y/n]? I mean what does it matter if you pass the exams, but still don’t have enough credits to graduate? You do want to graduate, don’t you?” His words echoed in your head. You needed to graduate if you graduated you could leave town, go to college, get a job, leave her behind. The longer you waited to reply the tighter his grip became until it nearly cut off blood flow to your hand, you didn’t notice too used to pain. “All right. I’ll be back tomorrow.” You shrugged trying to act as if you weren’t about to spiral. “All right. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Namjoon smiled and released your wrist letting you walk away from him. It didn’t matter as you would soon be back. Soon.

           That “I’ll see you tomorrow” became a common phrase exchanged between the two of you. For the next couple of months, you spent every afternoon at Namjoon’s going over lessons, classwork, and exams. Eventually, the two of you simply began hanging out, having grown incredibly close to one another. It was a routine you didn’t want to brake: you laying on the floor of his bedroom next to him either watching a new film, jamming out to songs, or having pointless yet insightful conversations. It kept you from your old routine of wallowing in your own misery, failing classes, and seeing your aunt drink herself to oblivion. Going to bed hoping the next day would be different only to be met with disappointment. Now things were different - a good different. You were graduating tomorrow and would be moving out next week to a dorm room you managed to score due to financial aid. Your college entrance exams had been stellar only because of Mr.148 who forced you to sleepover for three days in order to properly cram. “...tomorrow.” You frowned, “What?” Namjoon only chuckled pulling you closer so you would be pressed against his side. “I said do you want me to join you and your aunt after graduation tomorrow? I know you’re dreading it.” It was true. Your aunt had mentioned that she had a very important individual to introduce you to after your graduation, stating the three of you would have dinner and that you should dress up. “Tell Namjoon to buy you a pretty dress. It’s the least he could do.” Had been her exact words, which you, of course, hadn’t shared. “I’d love that. I only hope it doesn’t go as bad as I think it will.”

           At that Namjoon scoffed, “You should be used to disappointment already. At least with her.” Once you divulged your less than perfect home life to Namjoon, he had wanted to help you. The man even offered to let you move into his home. He had been quite desperate about it, hounding you for days, but you managed to convince him somehow. “I know, but the last thing that dies is hope.” You gazed up into his dark eyes and saw how they glowed beautifully even in poor lighting. Namjoon leaned in and went to press his lips into yours, but you moved away last second. His face contorting to a pained expression before he masked it and kissed your forehead instead. There was another routine in your relationship: Namjoon constantly desiring to cross that line between friends and lovers. He demonstrated this through kisses, affectionate touches, and longing looks. It had been going on for a while without any reciprocation on your part. You had assumed he would grow used to disappointment as well. “It’s getting late. I should go. I’ll see you tomorrow.” You quickly pecked his cheek before standing up and waving goodbye, walking out the door before he even managed to reply. “Bye [Y/n].”

             Your the excitement the next morning had been rather short-lived when the principal had called you to his office before the ceremony was to commence. “Sit down Mrs.[Y/l/n] there is some news I would like to share with you.” Was the words you were greeted with upon entering his office. You swallowed thickly and moved to sit in one of the leather seats in front of the large wooden desk. Before you could even question why you were called, the principal spoke. “It has been brought to my attention that the grades you have been receiving this past school year were incorrect.” You frowned tilting your head to the side with confusion but allowing him to continue. “It appears that no matter what your answers were on homework or exams, you were graded unfairly on purpose. We noticed this discrepancy when we compared your exams with others and found that you did well enough. Perhaps enough to merit some scholarships.” A single word was all you could muster out as you tried to wrap your head around the situation, “Why?” The man simply continued to express his laments and promised the professor had been fired and would be dealt with appropriately. None of it made any sense, your professor never seemed to have a vendetta against you, the man was too lazy to properly teach the class much less - the light coming from an open window gleamed off a picture hanging above the principal’s desk. The man stood with a professional smile on his face whilst he shook hands with the chairman. As you stared at the picture a realization came over you. “I’m sorry, but I have to head over to the ceremony.” You spoke numbly as tears began to conjure up in your ducts. “Of course. Enjoy your graduation and have a good life [Y/n].” The principal replied before you bolted out the door.

             Avoiding Kim Namjoon for the entirety of the ceremony had not proven an easy task, but you had managed to do it either way. Slipping away with your aunt to your small decrepit apartment before he had noticed. Currently, you were helping set the table as your aunt finished cooking. The mysterious guest set to arrive at any second and your aunt seemed over the moon. “You’ll see [Y/n] this is everything you’ve ever wanted. The answer to all our problems.” She hadn’t had a drop of alcohol tonight and that elated your mood even if just a bit. Who knew maybe things could go well this evening? That way you could forget about the betrayal you’d learned of. Maybe you could forget all about it and him as well? You should’ve known better. There was a harsh pounding on the door, the strength alone nearly causing it to fall off its hinges. Your aunt ushered to open it as you finished placing the plates on the table. It was the scream that had you whipping around to see Namjoon gripping your aunt by the throat, lifting the tiny woman off the ground by several feet. “Namjoon! What the fuck do you think you're doing?!” You screamed before running over to him and attempting to pry him off of her. Now up close you could see the blood that had soaked into his black suit. The specks across his neck and cheek. Most importantly you could see the insanity in his eyes.

           Refusing to let go of your aunt, he tightened his hold before speaking. “This bitch right here was trying to sell you off.” The words stunned you for a second, before the choking sounds of your aunt’s constricted airway forced you to try and draw them apart once more. You succeeded this time, placing yourself in between them. “Stop lying Namjoon. I know what you did. How you almost robbed me of my future all for what?” His eyes widened and his body began to shake, “You don’t understand. I didn’t rob you of anything. I gave it to you! Without me, you would’ve been some mediocre student who would’ve gone onto live some mediocre life.” He kept getting closer and closer to you and all you could do was cower in place. “You would have ended up exactly like her.” He pointed towards the sobbing figure that was your aunt. You knew his words weren’t true, just another means of manipulating you. “I trusted you Namjoon. Why? Why did you truly do it?”

           “Because I love you, [Y/n]. I hoped you could come to love me too with time.” Namjoon reached out to caress your cheek lovingly, but all you felt was disgust at who he was and the words he spoke. “Well, you should be used to disappointment.” You laughed cynically. Those were the last words you spoke before Namjoon tackled you to the ground. The screams of your aunt filling your ears before a hit to the head sent you into a dark abyss.

[fullymechanized-consoomer]

40K factions and you

Space Marines:

Your favorite flavor of ice cream is vanilla, but occasionally you might try some Neapolitan, if you’re feeling dangerous. You’re faction’s lore is designed from the ground up to accept your self-inserts, and the models are some of the easiest to paint in the entire range. None of this matters because no matter how unique you think your super-cool “realistic marines who use real tactics maaaaan” are they’ll always come out looking like a slight variation of the ones below

8th edition has finally allowed you to feel a tiny sliver of the unbalanced and over-costed hell other factions have been stuck in for years, but unlike them, daddy GW is more than willing to spend a little extra on his bulky good bois so they still get all the coolest gear and lore. Like vanilla, small children love them, but they grow out of both eventually. 

edit: it was only a matter of time before GW stamped its foot down and made the inevitable decision that its favorite kid needs to be busted again. Then again in all fairness they toned down their overpoweredness from “godlike” to merely “demi-godlike” 

Imperial Guard:

You’re a big “history fan”. You’ve seen Enemy at the Gates, watched some history channel shows about Nazi wonder weapons, and make 54 karma post on r/history_memes recycling debunked Eastern Front jokes. Only your intelligent eye is able to conflate this factions obvious Metal Slug levels of cartoonish design and tactics with realism, and you make sure to remind everyone else of said realism by comparing your tabletop exploits to your military experience in the reserves. Everyone used to like you back when the faction was actually made up of underdogs and under appreciated, but the Guant’s Ghosts references have gotten kinda stale, and no one appreciates the brass balls of these Starship Trooper knockoffs now that 8th edition supports and rewards the very same mindless horde tactics the Guard used to be mocked for in Lore. Despite having some of the most tried and true designs in the game, as well as an incredible amount of options, you will quickly find how limiting the only “realistic” army is in terms of customization and paint schemes, as anything but camo, grey, or tan looks goofy and reveals how silly this faction actually is. 

edit: If your army consists of wrapping 30 guardsmen around basilisks I recommend you take a short fall down a long flight of stairs. Fuck you, Evan.

Eldar:

You’re a real shooter. You know what you like and you stick with it, cause lets face it, it takes a lot of loyalty to stick with these arrogant pricks. Their designs are unique but dated, their lore is a uneven mishmash of 40k grimdark schmultz Tolkien telephone, and Oliver Twist-esque whipping bois for whenever GW writers need to remind us how cool Space Marines are. But none of that matters because you know the truth: Eldar can kick tons of ass on the board, and look good doing it, as their unique designs lends them to all sorts of brilliant color combinations

And unlike other armies their rare design updates improve on their aesthetic while keeping their 40k-ness, something that is becoming increasingly rare in this era of Tacticool marines and Fantasy-creep. Just don’t expect to be taken seriously by anyone but the old-heads.

Edit: Leave it to the whipping bois to be outshined in their own event and get a single model update. Thanks GW, very cool. 

Dark Eldar

You are one of two people: a meta hopping smooth brain who only jumped ship once these guys got one of the best updates in 40k history, or a true intellectual who understood their hidden merit all along. Other faction players like to make fun of you for being edgy, when in reality you know that the Dark Eldar are just a bunch of sociopathic theater kids. They, like you, know how fucked from top to bottom this universe is, and instead of getting depressed they exclaimed “how can we be the best cartoon villains we can be?”. Despite having a relatively bare army list, the fact that these d-bags come in 3 flavors of crazy in a single army offers a ton of variety: the mustache twirling villainy of the Kabals, the crazy bloodstained snuff-stars of the Wych cults, and the BDSM horror show of the Covens. All three offer substantial benefits and drawbacks and must be played carefully in order t- 

Who am I kidding? You’re just gonna stuff  a bunch of Kabal warriors into Venoms and zoom around the map, aren’t you? Enjoy that speed, because your abysmal save stats wont protect you anything more than a furiously thrown walnut. At least your corpses will look rad clad in some of the grimest armor and gear in the game. 

edit: no longer anywhere near as dominent as they were in the earlier years of 8th, but they still look slick as hell and play great. 

Orks

Your IQ randomly jumps from 20 to 200 throughout the day. There is no predicting this, no planning around this, no stopping this. You’re best bet is just to go along with it, and that’s why you play Orks. Orks are roudy good-time buddies who love slapstick slaughter, not having thoughts, and occasionally pulling of cunning plans that human savants would struggle to comprehend. Orks seem to be the only faction that know what joy is, which is why you as a player spread it to everyone else. Yes, the memes and screaming can be a bit much to others sometimes, but like with any other mentally handicapped child  everyone around just grits their teeth through your bad episodes if it means not upsetting your unique sensibilities. And considering that this army’s aesthetic revolves around cobbled together nonsense, you have a lot of uniqueness to give. Orks are easily the most creative faction in the game when it comes to conversions. Nothing is too goofy, too dumb, or too silly to scrap together. As for performance on the tabletop? Go ham. This is an army that rewards merry bullshit and randomness. Remember, you didn’t pick Orks to win, you picked them to have fun. 

edit: So are Orks actually getting anything or what? GW’s plans for this faction is as chaotic as the minds of the ADHD scrambled minds who play them

Necrons

You have a very specific taste in... funky weird-science space Egyptians. Seriously, these guys are practically a completely different army to what they were a decade ago. Gone are the terminator references and eldritch lore nonsense, and here to stay is senility and glyphs. You lie to yourself, saying that you’re not really sure why you chose Necrons, but I know the truth: you chose them because they used to be busted. They used to be unfair. They used to be able to take out top-tier tanks with their version of pea shooters and come back after every turn. So overwhelmed were you by their dazzeling stats and bullshit cheese your brain’s wiring fried and the erratic firing of billions of flayed neurons made you think Necrons had cool lore and interesting models. But now they’ve been nerfed to hell, and you’re no longer stuck in that lasting state of sensory overload. Like a drunk snapping awake with a hangover you come to the painful reality: Necrons are kind of dull. So like me, you put them away in a shoebox forever, leaving their fragile sculpts to slowly fall apart.

Edit: FUCK WHERE IS THE SHOEBOX WHERE DID I LEAVE IT OH GOD OH OH NO OH FUCK THEY’RE ALL BROKEN MAYBE I CAN PUT THEM BACK TOGETHER BEFORE 9th EDITION LAUNCHES I’M SO SORRY FOR WHAT I DID TO YOU NOW MORE THAN EVER I NEED YOU, I NEED MY BOOOOOOOOYS!!!

Tau

You will forever be hated by the community unfairly. You are accuse being anime - and this is true - yet the Eldar get away with being copied wholesale from 80′s space anime and no one seems to notice. You are made fun of for your bad melee, despite having one of the most comprehensively designed niches in an otherwise sloppy game and dominating with nearly every edition. You are made fun of for your lore, despite being largely separate from the cliches and story traps that everyone else has fallen into. You are hated because you are different; hated because you are Asian. 

Tau are an anomaly in 40k: a completely new faction that wasn’t directly ripped off of some other franchise and with an aesthetic that is wholly their own. I won’t be making fun of them because they get enough of that, and you don’t deserve it. Just know this dirty secret: Tau outsell almost every other xenos faction, and despite the supposedly unanimous hate are probably one of the strongest factions in terms of play-style and modelling in the franchise. 

Edit: The tau are grittier than ever, happy now? They still do the same thing they have always done anyways.

Chaos

Unlike the DE you actually are edgy. You worship satan, you throw rocks at homeless people, you start fires because your dad doesn’t spank you enough. Chaos are the closest things that this cluster fuck of a universe can get to being the main villains. Their lore is at once intricate and stupid, both childish and metal as hell. You play chaos because getting your fingers pricked by the models’ spikes is the closest you can come to feeling anything anymore. Just like the chaos lore you love to hype yourself up, to puff your chest and revel in the darkness inside, but when confronted you tend to fold like wet tissue paper. You’ve stopped playing public games with these guys, because the other players don’t understand you and abuse the meta and make fun of your painting skills and  everything is so unfair and don’t you think that chaos marines should get buffs for their points cost, fuck?

Edit: The new models are slick and more power-metal minivan than ever, though the rules are still abysmal despite GW desperately wanting everyone to takes these guys seriously for once. 

Sisters of Battle

GW writers and designers hates Catholics and they hate women, so naturally they hate Sister of Battl. They also hate you for playing them. Because of this SoB are a monument to neglected potential. They have one of the best female armor designs in fiction, great lore, and an interesting playstyle that relies on faith/determination based feats of strength and valor... but GW hate Catholics and women, so SoB get shafted everywhere all the time. More often than not you will be disappointed reading about their exploits as they continually get unfairly slaughtered, corrupted into the horny service of the pervert god, or used as receptacles for blood-based paint when the writer’s favorite faction needs to fight demons. With no plastic models in sight for over a decade everyone began to come to the slow and dreadful realization that GW was looking to Squat our favorite estrogen warriors, until a new revamp was announced. Unfortunately the beta rules look as lackluster as ever, but that’s fine, because as a SoB fan you have learned to expect that GW hates you, Catholics, and women. 

Edit: GW found God and got woke because now they love women and Jesus’ one true Church, but let it be known that reformation doesn’t occur overnight, as the SOB’s faces still betray GW’s lingering discomfort in the female form:

Their rules are fun, and if every codex was designed like it 40k might actually be a fun game

Tyranids

nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom no- and that’s it that’s the Tyranids. I don’t know anything about them besides that, and neither do you, cause that’s their lore. Yes they have cool models, but next to no reliable updates. I’ll pray for you.  

Edit: it really looks like GW has just completely forgotten about you poor souls huh? The Night King, a character who is closely associated with the totally-not-reconned-Tyranid-invasion, comes back and not one word about you guys. They don’t even actively hate you like, say, they hate the Eldar. It’s just... apathy. 

Grey Knights

HAHA AHAHAHAHA HA HA UHAHAHA HAHAAHAHAAHAH HAHA ha ha Ah......... he. hehahaaaAHAHAHAHA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

edit: I hope you all realize that Grey Knights are far too specialized in fighting the permanently under performing forces of chaos to be 40ks “elite among elite.”  You and your entire faction has been made completely obsolescent by the Custodes. The rough times will continue, say hi to the Squats in heaven will you?

Custodes

You are either insufferably full of yourself or a fine practitioner of the model making craft. Most likely though you are neither, and you picked them because you only need gold and red paint to make them look good. Custodes are the space marine’s space marines, and they’re better than you and everyone else. period. At least in lore. On the table their incredible individual stats and elite status are reflected in points cost, so for most large games you will be fielding what amounts to any other faction’s skirmishing army. Unfortunately, since 40k is a stat-sheet battler that favors raw bulk of rolls and stats over the quality of them, you’d be hard-pressed to do well in any serious game. However, for the luminous of mind, the small size is a blessing in disguise since you don’t need to buy and paint as many units as the other armies, and no matter how hard the guard player trashes you his 50 unpainted manlets will never look as good as your 15 gloriously crafted golden Chads. Stick to smaller games, and the individual strength of each model will make up for the glaring absence caused by their loss.

Ironically enough despite being an elite faction from a relatively obscure part of 40k lore, these attributes make Custodes the perfect casual player’s faction. It is my personal theory that if GW didn’t grossly inflate their prices to such a high degree everyone would have a Custodes army. 

Oh yeah, Henry Cavil plays these guys, because of course he does. 

[e1ana]

leisure writing :)

recently by brain has been all AHHHHHHDHHBSGDVJHS BCHJNNH and its really negatively impacted my writing, especially for my fics :( 

i’ve decided to go on a short hiatus for them for a bit to let my brain catch up. i’ve just been writing random stuff and letting it go in a n y direction to give my brain  break and i think??? this might??? be the best?????? decision ive ever made????? my brain just feels so un-fried. its awesome. 

so far it seems to be taking the shape of a YoI fic? idk. I just finished the show for the second time and i absolutely love it! I guess by brain’s been wired on Yuri!!! for a bit now so i’m not surprised at the direction its headed.

i’m still letting it go in any direction though, and i’m not sure if im going to put it up in a03 (i might if i decide i like it, but im not working on it with the intent of uploading it.)

so yeah. here’s the first bit of that. i though i’d upload it on here just bc i can and idk what else to do with it. hope you enjoy :) rating is teen bc of some cursing but thats it

(korkad means stupid in swedish)

Rain.

It wasn’t a loud sound - just the gentle pitter-patter of it against a window can paint a room in a quiet, soothing blanket of white noise. Viktor Nikiforov buries himself further in his comforter. Mid April drizzles really were something else. 

Begrudgingly, VIktor pulls himself from his bed. He looks out of his beside window to find a sunset that perfectly matched with the serene morning rain. 

He yawns and stretches, a soft grumble coming from his lips. He stands up and walks to his kitchen. Every morning is practically the same - wake up, debate going back to sleep, brush teeth/expensive and extensive skincare, eat, and go straight to the rink. Getting up at 7 am might sound overkill, but the lax speed of Viktor’s early morning routine needs extra breathing room.

He drags a hand full of some kind of sweet smelling lotion down his face, massaging it in with the melting pot of other creams and serums. The concoction is thick on his face, though not totally unpleasant. Viktor feels a bit more invigorated now, the cold water startling him up. Nevertheless, he starts the coffee machine. He swings his legs as he sits atop the counter and scrolls through his instagram. A sharp pinch on the cheek startled him from his trance.

“I told you to stop sitting on the counter, korkad. Nobody wants to cook on your ass juice.”

Ah, the overlooked step to the routine - cope with an insufferable roomate at ‘too early’ am.

“Good morning, Chris. I hope you slept well.”

Maybe insufferable wasn’t the right word for Chris normally, but his unrivalled snark and Viktor’s early morning sluggishness were not a fantastic mix. Chris grabs him by the sweatshirt and nearly yanks him off of the marble tabletop. He makes a show of wiping the area where Viktors butt once was. Finally, the sweet sound of gurgling and spluttering signifies the end of the coffee maker’s cycle. 

Viktor pours in a fairly reasonable amount of sweetened cream, the dark brown going caramel colored and scented. He takes a long gulp, downing half the mug in one go. He looks up at Chris, who is now leaning against counter one on arm and glaring. He offers a smile at the glowering man.

“Okay, now you can be a sassy bitch.”

Chris rolls up the towel and flicks it at Viktor’s butt, drawing an undignified squeak from the slightly shorter man. He snorts a laugh, but thankfully gives Viktor his space for the rest of the morning. 

He finishes the rest of his coffee quickly, the caffeine already buzzing through his brain. He checks his watch - nearly time to leave. He packs a few protein bars and water bottles along with his sweets and shirt. He calls out to Chris before grabbing his keys and locking the door. 

He pulls his sweatshirt hood a little tighter around his face, slipping into his freezing cold car. He clicked on the heat, despising how long it took for the damn thing to heat up. 

The drive to the rink was slow today. He wasn’t in any rush, and the slow rain hitting the metal roof of his car made for a nice serenade. He watched the outside pass by slowly, drumming his fingers against the steering wheel absentmindedly. 

When he pulled up to the rink, he noticed two things. One, it was bustling with activity. Usually, the place looked practically deserted at nine in the morning. The swarms of people and clicking cameras were an odd sight. 

Two, a man stands outside of the rink, wringing his wrists. He bites his lips and looks impossibly nervous. He blinks a couple of times before waving his hands frantically at one of the reporters. Viktor can’t help but laugh out loud in the solitude of his car. He pulls into the driveway, eyeing the dark haired man the whole time.

He’s vaguely familiar - Viktor’s sure he’s seen those blue framed glasses sitting on some side bench at some competition somewhere. He isn’t unattractive either. His black hair and brown eyes contrast with the pale skin of his babyish face. It gives him a look of purity. It’s a nice look. Admittedly, it’s aided by the ample blush on his cheeks and the way he rocks from foot to foot nervously. It’s a very cute habit, Viktor’s always thought.

Victor steps out of his car. Maybe he slams his car door a little louder than normal to make some of the reporters turn their heads, maybe he doesn’t. Regardless, they’re hounding on him in seconds, asking about this jump and that score. He answers all of their questions with a blinding smile, hoping that his glance towards the man goes unnoticed. Well, rather, where the man was. The glass door swings violently and Viktor catches his bag disappearing around a corner.

It takes longer than Viktor would've liked to get rid of the reporters and slip into the rink. His tight routine is now skewed fifteen minutes late. He stretches quickly and laces up his skates as quickly as possible to increase his time on the ice. 

He approaches the entrance gate, one foot already on the ice when something whirrs by him. His gaze is captured by none other than the man who was stood outside. 

Immediately, Viktor becomes enraptured with him. All he's doing is skating around the perimeter of the rink. Somehow, though, the swinging strides of his legs and the way his arms lift ever so slightly from the elbows when he glides paint him in the picture of grace. Viktor can’t help but stare as he completes another circle. Finally, when the man passes him a third time, he turns to look at Viktor. The grey haired man’s cheeks heat up under his unsettled gaze.

“Do you need some-”

Red creeps up the neck of the other man, his eyes widening when he realized who he’s talking to. He spins back around and pushes off even faster than before. 

Viktor steps onto the ice, heart pounding. Fuck. Fuuuck. He internally moans at the increasing awkwardness in the air. Damn his annoying fame and prestige! Here he was, embarrassing himself in front of someone he vaguely remembered who could potentially be important and was definitely attractive. Embarrassing himself just by existing. 

Whatever. He flicks his ankle out, starting a slow circle around the rink. If an onlooker glaneed over, it might look like the other man was chasing him. Though it was practically the other way around, Viktor considered. 

Eventually, Viktor felt warm enough to do some actual exercises. A few combination spins, a few brackets. Nothing obscene. He starts his program once he feels his joints ease into the jumps. 

The feeling isn't the same as the first time he did the program. Victory - it was the theme of his piece. Clearly, it’d gotten him where he wanted the first few times. The thrill of first place was incredible. It inspired him so much, the feeling of winning pushing forth his every movement. It had felt so overwhelmingly good. Now, after his fifth medal, the program didn’t mean much. His publicist had pushed him to do the same program every year, if not with a few major improvements each time.

Regardless of how many new spins or complicated jumps he added, the piece was tired. He was bored of this. There was simply no other way to put it. Even as he landed the perfectly executed triple axle that had been worked into his program, Viktor felt his heart sag.

He ran through the program a few more times, each with decreasing vigor. He didn’t even notice the man skate by him (albeit with a wide berth) and exit the rink. Drenched in sweat and disappointment, Viktor literally laid down on the ice. Maybe it wasn’t the most professional move in the book, but the freezing cold felt good on his hot skin. He hummed and got back to his feet, skating one last cool down lap before exiting and sliding on his blade covers.

He took a cold shower. Unusual, but the weight of the day didn't seem like it could just be melted away. He closed his eyes, letting the freezing water run down his body. It soothes is aching muscles and bones. Technically, the hot alternative would be better at melting away the lactic acid in his muscles. He could have a long soak in the tub when he got home, though - the temporary relief of cold water was more than satisfactory for now. 

He stepped out of the shower with a towel wrapped around his hips. The cool air inside of the building almost felt warm in contrast to Viktor’s cold skin. He pulled on a new shirt and pants.

Viktor was surprised to see the other man slinging his bag over his shoulder. He didn’t appear to see the higher ranking skater, ad he sidled to the door without a second glance. Before he stepped out, though, he turned and froze. 

“I… uh…” he paused and looked up, searching for the right words. “I wanted to thank you for earlier. You know. With the reporters. So, uh. Thanks.”

Before Viktor could pipe back with a cheery ‘no problem’ or ‘the pleasure's all mine, tell me your name and let me take you for a drink in my very expensive sports car,’ the man was gone. Viktor followed suit as fast as he could, but there was no catching the man now. Gone, forever.

[i-love-my-exhoes]

Nascency (chapter 3)

Pairing: EXO x reader

Genre: Fantasy!au

Wordcount: 4.4K

Prologue / Chapter 1/ Chapter 2

these gifs made me cry

so before anyone reads this, I’d like to say that this is the chapter where everything went wrong. good luck reading this!

You were still debating whether to ask Yixing about his powers. It could give away more about yourself than you wanted to give him. He could look down on you and abandon you or, even worse, he could find your life worthless and decide to end it right away like some of Chanyeol’s people had tried to do.

You had learned the hard way that people from the other worlds (or at least from Chanyeol’s world) despised earthlings and looked down on them. But, you told yourself, you had been at the mercy of other worlders and you had survived. This means that there are at least a few people that don’t agree with the other’s view. One of these people had been Chanyeol and the man in front of you was the one he had trusted you to. So, if you had to trust anyone here, he seemed to be your safest bet.

‘You have powers too?’ you blurted it out quickly, still not entirely sure of your decision to trust him. His eyes widened slightly, then his face scrunched up in confusion.

‘I don’t understand, only an amnesiac would ask something like that but if you had amnesia I’d be able to sense it’ He wondered out loud, obviously not expecting someone to respond to this. He looked just as startled as me when an answer came from someone.

‘wow, this just got a whole lot more interesting’ Baekhyun said with another amused smirk, sitting right next to you on the table. You wondered how he got there without you or Yixing noticing. Yixing didn’t seem as shocked as you about Baekhyun’s sudden appearance once the initial shock of it was gone. He only seemed to be extremely confused by the words he had spoken but before he could ask about it he continued. ‘I don’t know what Chanyeol was thinking, bringing a human to Abaddon but your injuries sure do make more sense now’.

Yixing looked so surprised and lost in his own thoughts that you almost pitied him but you figured he just needed a little time to process what Baekhyun had just said.

Baekhyun seemed to be really interested in you, he leaned towards you. His smirk changed into a blinding grin as his face was only inches from yours. ‘People from my world usually go through their entire lives without ever seeing a human, I am one lucky man’ He was still studying you intently and your heart started beating faster, was he flirting with you?

‘Baekhyun stop, you’re going to give the poor girl a heart attack’ Yixing still looked lost but he still reprimanded Baekhyun for teasing you like this. ‘Her heart’s beating really fast’ He added to your embarrassment. It must be a part of his powers to know that, or he could hear it which would be even more embarrassing. 

From what you gathered, Yixing’s powers are healing, as he was doing to your quote “almost completely fried brain” but it seemed like he could also sense stuff like your vitals. Your first thought about that was that he’d be like a human lie detector, which made you nervous. Then you remembered that he wasn’t even human, which made you even more nervous.

‘Your aura is indescribable, is this normal for humans?’ he seemed genuinely interested when he asked it but he was still too close for you to be able to concentrate on anything.

‘No, it isn’t’ Yixing spoke up, his brow slightly furrowed. ‘She isn’t supposed to even have an aura, which is why I am so confused. Are you sure you’re human?’ He directed his question to you and you were slightly offended, as if you didn’t even know your own race. Both boys looked at you with big eyes, anticipating your answer.

‘Of course, I’m sure! what else would I even be?!’ You sneered. Yixing looked a bit surprised at your sudden change of mood but Baekhyun smiled slightly as if had anticipated your reaction.

‘I have no idea, your aura is hard to describe as I already said. But what it looks most like to me is loads of aura’s squashed together, but not exactly. Would you agree with that?’ Baekhyun answered your rhetorical question, then looked to Yixing for confirmation.

‘Yeah, you’re right. I’ve never seen anything like this in all my years as a healer, and you know I’ve been pretty much anywhere’ Yixing trailed off and looked back at you even though he was obviously talking to Baekhyun. You could feel your temper start to burn inside of you again.

‘You shouldn’t talk about me like I’m not here, especially not when you’re looking at me’ you spoke through clenched teeth trying to keep your anger inside. You knew you weren’t mad at them, or at least not just at them. They had been helping you up until now. You weren’t necessarily mad at anyone, you were just angry because of the situation you were in.

Your rage kept burning up further inside of you and you started to get the feeling that you couldn’t even control it anymore. ‘(y/n), you need to calm down.’ You almost wondered how Yixing knew your name but since Chanyeol brought you here it would make sense that he told them.

You tried to calm down like Yixing told you but for some reason you couldn’t, all different sort of reasons for you to be angry popped up in your mind and even though you weren’t angry, rage burned inside of you. You started having trouble concentrating on anything, you barely even registered Yixing turning to Baekhyun and speaking to him. ‘Her temperature is out of control, the only ones that could survive this would be one of the Abaddons. I don’t even see how she’s alive at this point.’.

For a second it felt like everything stood still, you could concentrate again. The burning of your rage was still there but it felt different, like you could control it or at least keep it in. You made short eye contact with both Baekhyun and Yixing who shared the same expression of surprise mixed with slight horror.

Then it exploded, the burning rage no longer restricted itself to your body and shot outwards. But it was still different, it was no longer attached to you yet you could still feel it. It almost felt tame, controllable. The boys’ expression was now completely taken over by horror, in all fairness they had just seen a human combust spontaneously. The second you thought this you realized that the flames that just came out of you could harm them. You had been mad at them a minute ago but you surely didn’t want them to be hurt, they had helped you and they didn’t deserve this.

So, you turned away, hoping the fire would follow you. You felt it hesitate and contemplated begging the flame to listen to you, but before you could it followed your will. It was now floating in front of you as if it was looking you in the eye. You were in awe, it was beautiful yet so destructive.

‘Will it to go back’ Baekhyun told you all of a sudden, it snapped you out of the trance the fire had you in. ‘You need to ask it to go back where it came from, that’s what Chanyeol described’ He spoke, urging you to do as he said.

You tried. The fire went to your skin, feeling hot enough to burn you yet it didn’t. As it was on you, you felt it hesitate, wondering whether it should listen to you or not. It was almost like your mind was having a tug-a-war with the flames. You gave it one last pull and it obeyed you.

‘definitely not human’ Baekhyun said, walking out of the room again.

There was a pregnant silence as you looked at Yixing expecting him to explain what just happened and Yixing looked right back at you in confused awe. He opened and closed his mouth a few times and the resemblance with your old goldfish was uncanny.

‘I don’t understand’ he finally managed to get out. ‘Your aura doesn’t match your powers, and you just said you are human, and there’s no way one of Abaddon’s people ignites on your age, so how?’ your temper flared again and you could feel sparks in your hands, it was begging to be let out again.

You puffed out a breath in annoyance but managed to get your temper to cool down. ‘why the fuck are you asking me? I just literally burst out in flames, how am I not dead? and what the hell does anything you just said mean?!’ you questioned harshly. You could feel your panic creep up as you worded questions and worries started to form, what if you couldn’t control this and just started randomly burning everything down?

‘Wait, calm down! Please don’t cry, everything will be alright. I promise you this’ Yixing said as he hugged you, trying to stop the flow of tears you hadn’t even noticed were rolling down your cheeks. He hugged you tightly the calming feeling he had been giving out before was a million times stronger now that you were in his warm hold.

Whether you believed his words or not, you didn’t know but you allowed them to calm you down. ‘can you please explain?’ You asked him, sobs still rocking through your body as you looked up at him with pleading eyes.

He sighed deeply. ‘I’m not even sure where to start’ tears started forming in your eyes again at the idea of being kept in the dark any longer and Yixing was quick to react to them. He pressed you to his chest once again as he continued talking ‘but I’ll just start with what just happened’. You could almost hear the plead in his voice that was asking you not to start crying again. He separated from you, but still kept his hand on your shoulder (to keep you calm you reckoned).

‘You see, you just ignited, which is fairly common in Abaddon. It happens to about half of the population there, usually during their childhood and sometimes even in their early teens. We call it igniting because it is basically your fire awakening and getting a slight will of its own, sometimes this causes a lot of damage but they found ways to minimise that. What happened with you, however, is slightly less common, you managed to control it.’ your head shot up at that.

‘you mean that it could’ve lashed out at you and Baekhyun?’ You asked, the slight quiver in your voice giving away your worry for them. He smiled, obviously pleased with the fact that you cared.

‘yes, but Baekhyun could easily have protected us against it. He is quite powerful for someone from his race’ you had to admit, Yixing sounded slightly racist at this point. ‘but, back to explaining. Only around three percent of the people that ignited manage to control their flames. So that’s where you stand out, well that and the fact that your race shouldn’t even be able to ignite’. He frowned again, and you noticed how odd a frown looked on his face. A smile would have been much better.‘what about the aura thing? you’re not the first person to tell me about my aura, so could you please explain to me what it is?’ You pressed. He looked back at you and the frown changed into a kind smile.

‘Of course, That is easier to explain actually. Everyone has an aura, and we can all see it on each other. Humans are the exception, many believe this is because humans don’t need it to recognize their race so they neglect this ability. Every race has a different aura around them, and the people with stronger aura’s usually have stronger powers. Yours is exceptional, it doesn’t seem to fit into any of the worlds yet it is almost mesmerizing’ He slightly trailed off at the end of his monologue. You looked back into his eyes only to find them already on you, his pupils were slightly dilated. 

‘I’m back!’ Baekhyun’s voice echoed through the room as he stepped in. You noticed that dirt was all across his face and wondered what it was from. ‘And I brought Chanyeol with me’ He bellowed happily, dragging the tall man behind him through the door. So that’s how he got ash all over his face.

You felt stupid for the relief that flooded through you when you saw him. Not only had you been warned for him but he had also gotten you into this mess, although Kai was to blame for that as well. He had almost fried your brains as well, as Yixing put it and caused you to ignite (maybe it had been indirectly but you were sure that without Chanyeol you wouldn’t have a flame permanently trying to escape you). Despite all of this, you couldn’t stop the relief that his presence brought to you from crashing into you like a wave of completely unwanted feelings.

Yixing took a step back, frowning. Baekhyun raised an eyebrow at your close proximity before smirking slightly, did this man even have any different expressions? ‘Hope you had fun while I was gone’ He said with a teasing tone, Yixing took another step back.

Chanyeol walked up to you with wide eyes. Once he was close enough he put his hand under your chin and tilted your head so you’d meet his eyes, his eyes widened even further for a split second before he frowned deeply ‘fuck!’ He growled as he released you harshly, taking a step away from you and pushing a hand through his hair angrily.

You would be lying if you said that him being angry didn’t affect you. The flame inside you started to act up slightly but you had it under control this time. You felt the anger rush through you but at the same time sadness and fear held the anger back. For some reason, it hurt you that Chanyeol would shout at you for something like this, even though he was a stranger and you had no reason to assume he even cared about you.

You felt tears in your eyes. You had never handled people shouting at you well. Even back when you were a child, if your parents were mad at you or shouting around you, waterworks would be a given. But you had learned to keep it in now that you were older.

‘come’ Chanyeol ordered Yixing as he pulled him into another room.

You didn’t even show your sadness, yet as soon as the other two had left the room a bright light shone onto your face. You might have been surprised if it hadn’t been for the fact that Baekhyun had been glowing before. You turned your head toward him and were met with an innocent smile and a tiny ball of light bouncing on top of his head. It looked absolutely ridiculous so you couldn’t help but let out a small laugh. This, in turn, made him grin.

‘I was beginning to fear that Channie had burned that frown onto your face’ he spoke, you noticed how genuine his squire smile was. ‘You should smile more often, you look way more radiant like this’.  You appreciate his attempt to cheer you up, so you smiled at him.

‘Channie? That’s what you call him?’ You questioned the simple nickname. ‘well yeah, I can’t really be bothered to come up with something complicated, besides, this shows my love enough. But I’m curious now, what do you call him?’ He leaned towards you almost as if to physically press the answer out of you. The ball of light started to bounce faster in his excitement and you couldn’t help but compare it to a puppy’s tail.

‘Hmm, I haven’t really called him anything yet. But if you asked me to give him a nickname on the spot it would probably be burglar’. Baekhyun’s face twisted a bit in confusion but before he could ask anything, the door opened again.

The man that walked through it wasn’t tall but he emitted an air of royalty, which intimidated you slightly though you made sure he didn’t notice as his eyes caught yours. They lingered on you for a split second, a small frown formed on his sculpted face. You quietly started wondering why everyone you met seemed to frown at you but the beautiful man that had just entered the room spoke, his eyes had moved on to Baekhyun now.

‘Baekhyun, Yixing’s friends told us he was here. We need his help back at Terra, Kyungsoo got hurt’ The newcomer spoke hurriedly. You looked over at Baekhyun to find him having a completely blank face, he seemed to be considering what he’d do next and he seemed to get more conflicted with the second. Luckily for him, he didn’t have to answer, Chanyeol and Yixing had re-entered the room. You thought this would’ve helped Baekhyun with his inner conflict but as the seconds passed by you started realizing that their arrival had only created a thick tension.

The stranger’s eyes fell on Chanyeol and you could see his jaw tense, looking over at Chanyeol himself you noticed the heat suddenly coming from his direction this and the steam that was (literally) coming from his huge ears told you that these guys knew each other but not in a good way.

‘Baekhyun what is going on here?’ The short man demanded, then he gestured at you ‘and who is this?’ He suddenly seemed more interested in what was going on here then getting Yixing to help him with the person he’d mentioned getting hurt before. His eyes were intense and you almost admired Chanyeol as he stood in front of the menacing small man.

‘Well Suho’ He’d said the nickname with such venom that you were almost surprised this “Suho” didn’t burst out in flames. ‘This is y/n, she’s here because you didn’t stop Kai when we had the chance!’ He shouted at him.

Suho shook his head. ‘Chanyeol, you should know as well as I do that we couldn’t just punish Jongin for something we didn’t even know for sure that he did. He might have been suspicious but that didn’t justify what you did, you tore us all apart’ He didn’t raise his voice but all of his words were sharp as knives. ‘But that didn’t answer my question, I asked who she is not why she was here’ He clarified.

‘She’s a human that got caught up in between me and Kai’ Chanyeol said, His anger seemed to have died down a little and he diverted his gaze towards you with guilt as he said the words. ‘She got caught up in some of Abaddon’s politics and now she’s here’.

You could almost see Suho’s thought about your aura as he looked in your direction with slight confusion on his face but as soon as the meaning of Chanyeol’s words dawned on him he looked back at Chanyeol, jaw tensing once again. ‘Then I’m taking her with me’ your eyes widened but as you opened your mouth to protest someone else did it for you.

‘I think she’d be better off here at my place, where Yixing and I can watch over her until this is over’ Baekhyun spoke up. You saw in the way everyone’s heads snapped towards Baekhyun that he wasn’t one to distrust people (or maybe just Suho) like this, and wondered whether it had anything to do with the obvious tension hanging in the air.

You thought back to what Kai (or Jongin, as you now knew to be his real name) had told you. They used to be close friends but they fell apart, these people were definitely all a part of the group he had talked about. But you were starting to suspect that Jongin hadn’t told you the whole story. You were tempted to ask because you desperately wanted to find out what was going on, but your gut told you it was better not to interfere in the obvious fight that was brewing here.

‘Until this is over? Baekhyun we don’t even know if this will ever blow over! And we both know Abaddon and Lux work closely together; your world wouldn’t risk that relationship over a human so if Abaddon asked for you to hand her over you’d be powerless’ He seemed so dedicated to taking you with him, despite not having a clear motive to. You caught Yixing’s gaze. His eyes were practically begging you not to engage, telling you exactly the same thing your gut had told you mere seconds ago.

‘You aren’t taking her Junmyeon! I promised to protect her and I’m keeping that promise, now just tell us why you’re here” Chanyeol growled at Suho. You respected both men for keeping their stance as they glared at each other with such intimidating gazes that you almost felt scared even though they weren’t aimed at you.

Junmyeon scoffed and turned away from Chanyeol, for a second you thought that the big guy had scared him off but he wasn’t going to the door like you expected. He walked straight up to Yixing ‘We need your help in Terra, Kyungsoo got himself into trouble and he needs a healer.’  Yixing bit his lip.

‘I still need to heal a part of y/n’s brain though, so she’d have to come with me’ He looked at Chanyeol, who was fuming. ‘I can stay by her at all times, and just take her back with me when I return here’. It was painstakingly obvious that Yixing was just trying to keep everyone satisfied, he didn’t want a fight to break out and that meant taking you with him.

Chanyeol growled ‘I don’t like this, but you leave me no choice’ He turned to Junmyeon. ‘You better make sure she comes back here safely, if she’s hurt the slightest bit when she returns you’ll have a fight on your hands that you’re not ready for’ He threatened. He started walking away from the room everyone had been gathered in, but he turned around when he reached the doorway. ‘and make sure Kyungsoo doesn’t get hurt again’ This wasn’t a threat, you could hear it in the way he talked, this was more of a request and for a second you could almost see their old friendship. Then Chanyeol turned and walked out of the room, shattering the illusion of friendship you’d seen.

Baekhyun, who’d been quiet throughout most of the conversation, got up from his place next to you, walking to the door Chanyeol had just left through. When he passed Junmyeon he gave him a pat on the shoulder and said, ‘It’s good to see you again, though I think this won’t repeat itself for a while’ He shot all of you a sad smile before he quickly followed after Chanyeol.

The tension disappeared with him and you felt like you could breathe again after having to have held your breath for a while, you didn’t even realize the tension was this suffocating but you were relieved that it was gone now. You looked at the two men that were left in the room that had seemed too full just moments ago. Yixing was staring at you with yet another frown on his face. When you looked at Junmyeon you realized that this stranger had just fought one of his best friends just to get you to come with him, he couldn’t have done that just out of concern for you, right? But what could he possibly gain from taking you? Nerves wrecked you as you continued thinking about what this Suho could be planning.

‘I know you probably need explaining on what just happened, and I’m willing to grant you this.’ Junmyeon spoke to you for the first time since you had met him, his voice was different now, softer. ‘but for now, we need to leave for Terra, Kyungsoo wasn’t in critical condition but I didn’t come here for no reason’ He explained.

Yixing walked up to you, taking your hand in his ‘I promised Chanyeol I’d stick by you, so you’re going to say a lot of me the next few days’ He said, winking at you. ‘I wanted to promise you something too though, just like Chanyeol, I’ll see to it that you won’t get hurt. Preventing is better than healing’ He told you with a cute dimpled smile. The two of you hurried after Junmyeon, who’d already left.

You had been walking for a while now, Yixing was still holding your hand but at this point, his hand was the only thing keeping you moving. You suspected that he was healing your muscles as he went but that could’ve just been the person inside of you that wasn’t used to walking this much. Despite Junmyeon’s assurance that they’d explain everything, nothing had been explained yet (except for the things Yixing had told you before of course). But for some reason the desperation you had felt to get answers slowly started ebbing away, all of a sudden you didn’t even want to know what was going on anymore. You were scared that you got into something that was way bigger than you could even handle. Deep inside you, you could feel that everything would spiral out of control from here. So you didn’t bother to ask.

That’s all I got for now, Hope Y'all have a nice day despite me wasting your time with all of this. bye

[jugandbettsdetectiveagency]

Fanfic where Betty is distancing herself from Jughead? Like she's thinking about breaking up with him cause of all the serpent stuff... Then Jughead does some big romantic gesture (you could decided whether its a gesture or whether its just Jughead telling Betty why he's so in love with her) and Betty realises she could never leave him. Sorry its long lol

So I wanted this up yesterday but I suck. I trawled through my prompts to see if I could find anything that I could write as a (now belated) birthday gift for the wonderful @peacelovebughead because she deserved some birthday love! And then it got super angsty, so I’m sorry, love! But yeah, this is for you - happy birthday again, Jess!

Betty sighed as she gripped her phone harder, pressing it closer against her ear as it continued to ring. She felt like she heard the incessant noise so often lately that it was ingrained into her head. Her lower lip began to tremble and she pulled it between her teeth, biting down hard to hide the motion. She wouldn’t cry, she refused to cry.

“This is Jughead, leave a message.” The clipped tone of her boyfriend’s voicemail settled heavily over her heart.

They promised they’d try. They told each other, whispered into the creases of each other’s skin shrouded in the shadows of FP’s trailer, that this wouldn’t change anything. It showed in the way Jughead would drop his jacket every time she stepped foot in his line of sight, relieving his shoulders of the leather burden that Betty could feel across her own back like a crushing weight whenever she glimpsed the green and red embroidery.

She thought it would be a relief to see him remove his newly accrued armour in her presence, peeling back the layers he’d so sardonically told her he was in possession of that one night in a Pop’s booth, until he was her Juggie again. But, if anything, it only set her more on edge, confirming the sneaking suspicion that he was playing two sides now, both feet sinking in quicksand and spread across a rapidly widening chasm.

For the first few weeks he’d shown up outside the front step of Riverdale High, leaning against his dad’s truck, one leg casually crossed over the other, as he waited for her to finished cheerleading practice or work on the Blue and Gold. His dark curls and deep flannels stood out against the white snow, beckoning Betty towards him with a magnetic pull that had only been increasing in strength the longer they remained together. If she thought about it, she’d always felt that feeling.

Even when she was little, Jughead would always be there. Betty chastised herself for not realising it sooner, in the moments when they were asleep in his childhood bed. She pressed herself tightly against his warm side as she watched his eyelids flutter, face beautifully relaxed and slackened in sleep. Running her fingers across his soft cheek, over his parted lips, Betty had memorised every quirk in his features; the way his mouth permanently tilted at the corner, how one nostril was slightly bigger than the other, every single perfect placement of the moles and freckles against pale skin. The pads of her fingers continued their travels, over his sternum, barely brushing his chest. Jughead stirred slightly, nose scrunching adorably as she tickled him with her feather-light caresses. Whenever she’d cried over Archie, or tucked herself into a corner beneath the wooden slats of his tree house, he’d find her. Sitting somewhat awkwardly beside her, he listened as she talked without interruption, letting the dam finally burst. He was always bringing her back from the edge, the one she’d been tiptoeing along for as long as she could remember. And now it was her that was making him fall between the cracks of the town, pulled under by the current of North versus South.

The first time he missed a pick up he’d text her. He had stuff to take care of. Betty was well educated enough in cinema and literature to know ‘take care’ was never code for anything desirable. She chewed her lower lip all through practice, tearing the skin until it tasted metallic against her tongue. Cheryl snapped at her more than once for being distracted but she didn’t have it in her to be ashamed for making them run late. Her fleecy, pink jumper had just settled back over her shower-flushed skin when her phone buzzed in her locker.

Pop’s? Twenty minutes? The familiarity of the words, knowing he was safe enough to text her, relieved some of the choking tension in her chest. She hurried to collect her things, scrambling with her bag as she flew down the hallways, icy wind hitting her damp hair and making her shiver as she stepped through the front doors to an empty parking lot.

Betty’s fingers were nervously playing with the straw of her vanilla milkshake when the bell above the door finally signalled his arrival, hair dishevelled and distinctly beanie-less. She blinked, so used to another sight that it took her aback for a moment. She didn’t even notice the jacket at first. He slid in opposite her, not before leaning down to place a chaste kiss to her cheek, cold lips against flushed skin sending a shiver down her spine. He grabbed a handful of fries from the basket in the centre of the table, offering her a smile as he chewed.

“Sorry I couldn’t make it earlier,” he offered in way of apology, choosing not to expand further. The rustle of leather on vinyl caused her eyes to snap down suddenly. He followed her gaze, lifting his arm slightly as he looked down at himself, as if unaware that he’d put the clothing there himself. He squirmed uncomfortably under her steady eyes, tugging at the lapels in a way that made Betty think he couldn’t decided what to do with himself.

“It… It’s cold, Betts,” he muttered, as he chose not to discard the garment, fingers whitening as he gripped at the fabric.

“I didn’t ask you to take it off,” she replied, voice light and indecipherable. He narrowed his eyes slightly. She widened hers. He nodded, not quite sure whether he was being played.

“Okay,” he said slowly, running his fingers through his dark waves.

“You’re not wearing your beanie,” she stated, not raising her voice in question. Jughead sighed, looking out of the window as he rolled his bottom lip between his teeth, scraping the skin roughly.

“What we’re just gonna sit here and discuss my wardrobe now? Was Veronica too busy for that conversation?” he snarked, tone holding more venom than he’d intended to shoot her way. She started, uncomfortable prickle spreading throughout her body. Shame replaced the hardness around his eyes. “Sorry,” he mumbled, dropping his gaze to the tabletop like a scolded toddler. She blinked a few times, fists uncurling, shaking her shoulders and straightening them minutely as she stood. Jughead’s eyes snapped up, mouth parting in fear as he expected her to leave. She rounded the table, tapping his bicep in an indication for him to move over. He did so, arm winding round her waist as soon as she was settled beside him. Her fingers lifted to his hair, running through the free curls, fingers scratching delicately against his scalp as he let out a mild hum of appreciation.

“Just means I get to do this,” she smiled, ducking her head to meet his nervous blue eyes. He lifted the corner of his mouth in return, gaze flicking from her eyes to her lips before they leant towards each other, pressing their lips together in a light but reassuring kiss.

She almost missed him the first time he showed up to take her home on his bike. He was leaning against the side, timid smile gracing his lips as he caught sight of her honey gold hair.

“What’s this?” she asked, slowing her steps as she cautiously approached the vehicle, eyebrows knit in concern. Jughead turned to look over his shoulder, as if confirming that she was seeing what he was seeing. A hand came up to rub the back of his neck nervously.

“Err, it was a gift. Some of the guys needed the truck and I still wanted to pick you up. I didn’t think you’d mind,” he shrugged, eyes gentle but still guarded.

The guys. The phrase bounced uncomfortably inside Betty’s head, the casualness causing her to bristle.

“I-I don’t know, Juggie,” she said cautiously, looking at the shiny chrome and thinking it reflected in the same way as the black ice currently coating the Riverdale roads. Jughead sighed, standing to his full height as he placed a palm on each of her shoulders.

“Come on, Betts. It’s fine, I know how to drive it. You’re safe with me,” he coloured his words with a little more meaning that just road safety. “Live a little?” he tacked on, raising an eyebrow in challenge at her as his mouth quirked into a smirk. She rolled her eyes, shifting her weight from foot to foot as her mouth pulled into a betraying smile. He kissed her slightly wrinkled forehead before mounting the bike, holding out a hand to help her on behind him.

Her fingers ached by the time they made it to her house, stiff from the cold and the unrelentingly tight grip she’d had on his shirt the entire ride home. Sure, there was an element of freedom in the feeling of frigid winds combing its way through her hair, making her eyes stream as they blew through the town. But there was an hint of uncertainty in it all, some wary part of Betty’s brain clicking into overdrive as she felt every jolt, wobble and vibration beneath her.

The most disconcerting thing, she thought as she was watched Jughead speed off down the street, glad her mother wouldn’t be home to hear the loud revving of the engine and come to investigate, was how at ease Jughead had seemed. He gripped the handlebars with a practised finesse. His back was free of any kind of tension. He weaved easily through the traffic, slipping almost like a dark shadow across the streets of the Northside, only noticeable due to the bright golden light that clung to his waist.

It should have made her happy, that Jughead was finding his place in the town that had thrown nothing but hardship after hardship at him since he could walk. But she couldn’t let go of that feeling that a storm was coming, ten times bigger than the one that had already swept through their sleepy town life. And it might have something to do with the fact that she was caught in an unwinnable standoff with the unblinking eyes of a threaded snake the whole ride back.

He didn’t pick her up anymore. Hell, he wasn’t even allowed to come on school property, especially not on his bike, branded with the emblem of a much despised gang. When she had asked him, with little questioning in her voice anyway, if he was there he hadn’t been able to meet her eyes. But the blossoming bruise forming over his right cheekbone, swelling his eye slightly, and the blood on his knuckles already gave Betty her answer.

The local news was already reporting it - in fact, it was all they were reporting. It was the biggest blow out between the North and South sides that Riverdale had ever seen. Tensions had been boiling, pressure building up until no one could take it anymore and things just snapped.

“They are dangerous, Jug!” she yelled, ponytail swinging as she shook her head at his disagreement.

“They’re like my family, Betty, they’re the only people who have offered me protection…” She cut him off, her own blood beginning to boil like that which was currently running through the streets, getting washed into the drain by the ongoing thunderstorm that had burst through the heavy clouds. Her voice rose above the pounding of raindrops on the trailer’s roof.

“You call this protection?! You’re hurt, Jughead. You were thrown into the middle of a town-wide fist fight, and that is supposed to be protection? Your idea of family is pretty messed up if you think-” She cut herself off abruptly, eyes widening in panic as he visibly recoiled from her words. “I didn’t mean…”

“Yeah,” he laughed humorlessly. “You did.” He nodded to the ground, shoving his hands deep into the pockets of his jeans. “And you’re right, it is fucked up.” He met her eyes and the lack of anger there stole her breath. She ached to take the few steps that separated them but her legs wouldn’t move. “But isn’t it always?” he asked, defeated. Tears pooled along her waterline, over-spilling with little warning, leaving hot, itchy trails down her cheeks. She wiped them away furiously, material of her sweater scratching her skin red.

“You promised me, Jug. You said that this wouldn’t change anything between us,” she lamented, voice barely above a whisper. It wasn’t just the fact that he didn’t turn up to take her home, didn’t fetch Fred’s ladder to climb through her window anymore. He didn’t talk to her anymore. She could feel the hard shell he’d broken his way out of to be with her resealing around him, stronger than before. He shrugged his shoulders once.

“I guess I lied,” he murmured.

Neither of them was willing to let go. She’d cleaned his knuckles, pressed ice to his forehead and whispered soothing words to him as he curled around her while he fell asleep that night. But Betty knew you couldn’t escape the inevitable forever.

The beep of the voicemail echoed in her ears.

“Jug,” she sighed, hating the way her voice hitched. She took a breath before trying again. “Jughead, I haven’t heard from you all week. I’m really worried and I think… I need to see you, in person,” she choked out, casting her eyes to the ceiling in an attempt to keep the tears from falling. She didn’t want to cry anymore. She ended the call, flicking off the light in the Blue and Gold office before shutting the door and making her way to the exit.

Her breath caught in her throat as she looking up from the top step of the high school. There, in the parking lot a few feet away, was Jughead Jones. Her Jughead. He was leaning against his dad’s truck, one leg casually crossed over the other as he looked up at her, deep circles beneath his eyes. His beanie was planted firmly on his head, hands shoved in the pockets of his denim, sheepskin lined jacket, tired smile trying to tilt his lips upwards.

“Juggie,” she breathed as she made her way towards him with slow, evenly paced steps.

“Happy Birthday, Betts,” he murmured. Her shoulders collapsed with a disbelieving laugh.

“You remembered?” she asked, coming closer still. His brow furrowed.

“How could I forget?” he told her, hands reaching out to her timidly. She settled herself between his legs, palms coming up to rest against his chest, rubbing the fabric of his shirt between her fingers. “It’s the most important day of my year, “ he finished with unwavering conviction. Betty tilted her head, warmth spilling in her chest.

“Jug,” she whispered with a wry smile. He looked down, fingers tightening around her waist, as if his touch could stop the words from coming.

“I know what you’re thinking, Betty. And I’m hoping that you’ll just wait, and come with me,” he asked, looking up at her from beneath his lashes, eyes desperate. She’d go anywhere with him, at least there was a time when she thought she would.

“Okay,” she heard herself saying before she could even think. Apparently, she still would. They climbed into the truck, Jughead biting back his relieved sigh; he wasn’t out of the woods yet.

They drove in silence, Jughead leaving his palm upturned in the hopes that she’d lace her fingers with his. When she did his shoulders relaxed, bringing her knuckles to his lips to lay a delicate kiss there. He drove towards the river, parking up next to one of the trails that led into the woods and turning off the engine.

“Is this the part where you kill me?” she joked wearily, turning her teasing eyes from the trees to meet his. He smiled at her, letting out a laugh at her ability to still make jokes before opening his door and hopping out. He gathered up the blankets and the cooler from the bed of the truck and walked round to meet Betty.

“Come on,” he said, tilting his head in the direction of the trail. They walked, again in silence, only the rustling of wildlife and the rushing of the approaching river disturbing their quiet. Betty gasped as they broke through into a clearing just a few paces back from the river, not as deadly looking in the early spring. Tiny lights had been strung up throughout the branches, creating a million different constellations as their warm light bounced off the green leaves, trees just beginning to sprout blossom. Jughead shook out the blanket, placing the cooler down on top before settling down himself and opening his arms to her. She went to him, nestling between his bent legs, back to his chest, heartbeat over heartbeat. He pulled a milkshake out of the cooler and handed it to her. They sat for a moment, watching the moving of the water, cocooned in their private sanctuary.

“This was really nice of you, Jug,” she thanked him after a while. His arm tightened around her, as if he was sensing she was ready to flee. “You didn’t have to.” She picked at the styrofoam of her empty cup.

“Yes I did,” he interrupted hurriedly. “You’re my girlfriend, this is what boyfriends do,” he smiled into her hair, remembering conversations with her that felt like a lifetime ago. He felt the vibrations of her chuckle against his front. He licked his lips, suddenly dry.

“Betty, I’m sorry. I was scared that if I kept you as close as I wanted you that you’d get pulled in too deep as well, and it would be my fault if anything happened to you.” He pulled in a shaky breath. “I couldn’t give you up but maybe if you…” She twisted in his arms, eyes searching his. “I just wanted you safe,” he finished lamely instead. Her cool palms cupped his flushed cheeks.

“That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you too, Jug,” she implored. “And we were in this together, from the start. At least, I thought we were…” Betty’s confidence wavered, her hands beginning to slip from his skin. His fingers wrapped around her wrists, holding them there.

“We are, we still can be. This,” he cast his eyes around the clearing. “Is to show you that Riverdale isn’t the be all end all. It doesn’t have to be the way it is, we can change it, make it better. One day,” he swallowed, clearing some of the thickness in his throat. “One day we could make it out, together.” Betty let out the breath she didn’t know she was holding, leaning forwards to press a bruising kiss to his lips. His was thinking of a future - it was what she didn’t realise she desperately needed to hear.

“Also,” Jughead murmured after they’d parted. He reached into his pocket, pulling out a small velvet bag. Betty took it with shaking fingers, tipping the contents into her flattened palm. The tiny ring glinted in the lights. The silver metal was thin and light, a tiny three pointed crown making up the emblem on the front. She drew in a breath, picking the delicate jewellery up and slipping it onto her finger. She met Jughead’s eyes, his cheeks covered in a deep blush. “I don’t want you to feel like I’m claiming you or anything. But… I just wanted to give you something, as a reminder. I’m forever yours, Betty Cooper. Even if we’re further apart than we’d like to be right now, I’m still yours.”

Tears spilled down Betty’s cheeks and for the first time in months she didn’t mind that she was crying. Because Jughead Jones was hers, she was certain of it. And she was his.