#my inbox and messages are open for anyone that would like to read my bs lol

[echo-and-dust]

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[suevi-if]

giggling, kicking my feet reading your responses to the angry anon. honestly it’s such typical anon thing at this point, i’m not surprised. what happened to scrolling away? what happened to leaving the page of a story that doesn’t fit your tastes? as you said, there’s probably 500+ options out there for anyone and everyone to read, so why send hate to one that’s UNFINISHED? with FREE to read content? i’m genuinely so baffled. i hope you take care of yourself, author! if it ever seems like the anons are getting too bold or rude, don’t feel any type of way about turning anon off: take care of yourself first. i usually ask with anon, but sometimes i forget and sometimes i just don’t care lol. i promise anyone that really wants to ask a question will absolutely still do it even if anon is turned off! and to that guy? not every story will be to your liking. not every meal will, either. not every person will like you. sometimes you don’t get what you want-that’s part of life. it’s important to think of these things like they are-books in development. you don’t harass authors about upcoming books and what they should add to it- you shouldn’t harass IF authors the same way. just because someone posts on a public platform about something they’re publishing doesn’t mean you’re owed anything. i’m sure they’re happen with suggestions or questions but then remember- they aren’t required to add them.

anyways i hope you’re doing well and your story looks really cool! can’t wait to read 😄

btw sorry if the spelling is abysmal, my spellcheck was haunting me the whole time lol.

I thought about simply leaving this in my inbox because it makes me really happy. Thank you, readableorion, and I wholeheartedly agree with the points you make. <3

Sadly, anonymity gives a lot of bad people a way to spout their nonsense. But there are also a lot of good, nice and kind anons, and I love that. Just anonymously sharing some love is great, too. Hell, I've done that in the past myself.

But yeah, in the past years it has become so normalized to complain about shit you could instead just scroll past. It's sad, really.

Don't worry, these people have less impact on me than they think they do.

I'm in my early thirties now and legit have natural gray hair that covers like 80% of my "regular/actual" hair, because I had a stressful life. I've been through bullying, manipulation, SA, trauma, abuse and lost loved ones. I'm neurodivergent, closeted to the point the one loved person that I still have and live with doesn't know about it because they would push me away, and I live in an unsafe area with no possibility to move. Anonymous hate on the internet doesn't faze me as much as they'd like.

That said, I am taking care of myself. And it's people like you who help me to make me feel better. Because the love I get online has way more impact on me than the hate will ever have.

I am leaving anon asks open, and I'll keep it that way for the foreseeable future. I get many great asks, from anons and non-anons, and it's only that one person being a douche for now.

Also, I will keep defending others who get harassed for BS like that. I have a very strong sense of moral, and I just can't stand at the side and not say anything. I don't have that in me.

That said, I don't want to spam stuff like this, because I know people are here to read more about my IF, and not read about the hate me or other people get. But sometimes it's important to make something more visible, and I hope you understand that.

Again, thank you for your kind message, I didn't even want to release it because it's so sweet of you I just wanted to keep it in my inbox forever <3

[bcacstuff]

Have you heard anything about Sassenach not being able to do business in UK? Don't think that's correct.

It seems, there's an Anon leaving messages in my inbox which, I just found out, are quotes from another blogger. I actually don't like that as I think the blogger herself is responsible for what she posts. But I make this exception, as this is a weird one

I wont post the whole quotes here, but the statement was more or less that Ashley is an employee at SS and she and SH's team can not operate in the UK, because the company is registered in the UK

Of course, as you already thought that is not correct. How could they've done the popup store at the Kimpton in Edinburgh? There were even 4 employees (yes 4; 3 women, 1 guy) there all day, and boss Alex hanging around as well. Was that all just pro bono? Did they get a bottle of SS at the end? smh... of course not.

Even more, do you think OL would ever have been created in the UK if this statement was true? I mean Starz is a US company, right? So is Sony, RDM & Maril working for the US company Tall ship Productions, Lionsgate is a Canadian Entertainment Corporation. I could go on about the crew, set builders they hired (JGS anyone), The members from the Canadian First Nation, Cesar Domboy, a French Actor working for a US company in Scotland..... 😂

Anyway, as you thought BS. It requires a work permit for the employee, or the correct visa.

We can also ask Google and Deloitte will provide a 21 page document, which you can read here when you're interested. The short answer however is:

Can an overseas company operate in the UK? You only need to register an overseas company when it has some degree of physical presence in the UK, such as a place of business or branch, where it carries on business. You must file the documents to register a UK establishment with us within one month of the opening of the UK establishment.

Well I think that's an answer to your question.

(and btw. they did register LATHA ÙR LTD in January 2023 in the UK and end of October this year the unaudited Financial Statements were filed. They show £2 as current assents)

[imbellarosa]

For me, Lou's lyrics are pretty easy to interpet & I usually can get the message he is attempting to convey. Because he writes so candidly, you know? He really opens up and is so raw & real. That's not to say Haz isn't, I just feel like even in his songwriting, he hides his true sentiments behind embellished, overly elaborate, obscure metaphors. I feel most musicians use that space to finally let go & feel liberated to really right straight from the soul, y'know? Like Lou, he would never say the

+ things he does in songs out loud but he just lets himself go completely and it's beautiful. I think Haz is a phenomenal lyricist & I adore him to bits but I feel sad he is still so unwilling to be truly vulnerable & open with us y'know? I want to know Harry, I'm sick of Harry Styles™ the brand, the facade. The only song of Lou's that still stumps me is Miss You. I don't think you can just conclude anything based on one song but looking at HS1 too, sure it could be just fighting and drifting

+ apart and miscommunication (or lack thereof) & I feel like I was almost brainwashing into believing what people said over what my own intuition told me, everyone just drilling in: THEY NEVER BROKE UP, I felt like I was less of a supporter to think that, I felt guilty, like I let hl down almost. But as a cynic & a rationalist, it always niggled at me. I believe in the inevitable failure of 97% of relationships at that age. They just don't last. And I'm sure there's someone reading this who's

+ like, well fyi my parents were lab partners in high school and are still together with a bunch of kids. And that's great. Ah a walking paradox, being a romantic & a cynic. Anyway, the thing is, maybe they did, maybe not. Certainly, I lean towards it being very likely they did. Hardly any het 'relationships' at that age last. Now bring in two boys who are closeted and in love and in THE boyband of the era and undergone a series of absurd narratives and can't sit next to each other but are told

+ to make out with girls on NYE and hold their hands and strut about to a crowd of adoring fans as the actual person they're with is joyously playing football one minute and on the verge of breaking down the next because what if the fans like this fake relationship more, what if they like -her- more? I could go on & on, but you get the point. Thing is, maybe they did, maybe not. Does it really matter, in the bigger picture? They're together now and for once, I do have faith it'll last this time.

Also sidenote, I hope it's cool to come to your inbox and just go off tangents & rant & ramble. I mean it's kinda too late now lol 😂 but idk I swear I never intend ongoing off multiple tangents but it just inevitably happens?? Hope you can make some sense of my incoherent, mindless bs and at least find it somewhat entertaining. I like talking to you as well. You are the first person who is so open-minded & accepting of diff opinions & genuinely seems to want to hear what's on my mind.

okay well FIRST OF ALL, you are ALWAYS welcome to come rant to me goodness knows I would LOVE to hear from someone else who adores lyric analysis as much as I do! If you’re looking for anyone else to chat with, @louciernagas has some amazing analysis of her own and also adores song lyrics and might have a different take than mine! But here’s my take:

I think Harry processes stories differently than Louis, and I think it really really shows in their songwriting. For example, Harry had “raconteur” as his Twitter bio for a while, I’ve heard. ‘Raconteur’ is ‘storyteller’ in French, and my conclusion from that is that he likes to see himself as a storyteller. So he mostly writes abstract notions and large pictures and feelings and ideas that he’s felt over the years, and when he fills it in, he’s telling a story. It’s easier for him, I think, to process things if he can remove himself from it. If you look at the first draft lyrics for Lights Up that Tyler Johnson spilled the other month, they read, “lights can’t know their way out the dark running through your heart. Lights can’t help you know who you are. Do you know who you are?”. The final draft of this line reads “All the lights couldn’t put out the dark running through my heart. Lights up and they know who you are. Do you know who you are?”. I think it’s worth mentioning that the primary difference between the first version of this song and this one is the addition of a first-person pronoun in the final draft. 

Either way, this song would have been about him, and HIS self-discovery and HIS liberation, right? But the way that he chose to write it at first was without placing himself into the story. And like...I think he does that a lot. And then, of course, he does the reverse, too. He says “I” did this or “I” did that and it may not be him at all. I’ll tell you a funny trend I’ve noticed is that the songs that seem most personal to him are about someone else in broad strokes, or about himself in broad strokes. But I think it’s because it’s easier for him to tell true stories if he doesn’t have to say that they’re about him. 

For Louis, I would say it’s the reverse: he HAS to make his stories about himself because it’s the only way he CAN tell his stories. He’s learned to use his words as a weapon against everyone who thought he was too young, not good enough, not kind enough, too stupid, that he didn’t have enough star power, etc. He’s ALWAYS had to prove them wrong, and the only way he had was his music. So he SAID that they would go out and drink cheap wine until sunrise and that they lived in this *specific* apartment complex and that he would tell the truth if his partner wanted him too. He SAID that he’d like to go to the pub every sunday, if he could (and I think the music video for JLY even names the pub haha), that the reason he has done every single thing he has is for the other person. He HAD to say it, not for us, but for himself. HE had to tell the stories he needed to, and he did. And THAT is what makes his album - and all of his songs - so so special to me. They have that element of “fighting back” as well as of telling stories. 

I, personally, tell stories like Harry does. I like to talk about things I know or have experienced as if I’m coming at them from a different angle, because it’s easier on my heart that way, sometimes. Sometimes, the only way I have to say the truest things I know are to make someone else say them or to talk about them as if it were about another person. That’s kind of what fantasy is, in a way. It’s what storytelling is. But I *so* admire the autobiographical quality that Walls has to it, because I would be terrified. 

And as for ‘do I think they broke up?’ I’m very very much in the “who cares” camp - just like you! Maybe? Maybe they did in 2016 at some point. But like...as evidenced by the entire quarantine (and the last like..year and a half), they aren’t broken up NOW, and that’s what I’m gonna go on. And everything else doesn’t really matter, you know? The rest is confetti. 

[fidelityandmischief]

WallFlower Part III

Part I Part II

A/N: Here is part III for wallflower guys!!! As promised this chapter is longer than the first ones. I poured my heart out writing this chapter and made necessary research, so please if you have free time please drop by on my inbox and message me for any feedbacks that you have. I don’t like inserting AN on the story so I’ll say it here. PLease imagine the photo to be Zach and (y/n). And the baby cutie as Zach’s sister.

P.S: I’ve already mentioned that this story is set for AU and it’s fiction, but I just want to apologize if I wasn’t able to get the proposal right for the original Chinese Tradition.  On we go to the story!

Lucy Liu-Please imagine her as MS. Lee the  Matchmaker. Matchmaker in traditional chinese wedding is someone who makes sure that the ritual will be perfect. They settle the dowry and consults the chinese zodiac if the couple’s birth year will bring prosperity to their  wedding and family.

                                                         –♥–

Coffee. It has been  your life for the past year working for Monet’s. Today is  a relaxing day. Most of the customer’s are reading or doing their own stuff on their own world. The stream of customers today are mostly teenagers.  You love watching people from where you are. You can no longer do this at liberty high. Everyone’s attention is now on yours and Dempsey. That guy. Speaking of which.

*Fluffy giant calling* You answered smiling. The past month has been good on you because Zach made sure you are comfortable. He makes sure that you are taken cared of. The guy is a walking fluff.

“Dempsey.” You greeted. “Mrs. Dempsey.” He retaliated. You can hear him smiling on the other line. You can’t stop smiling as well. Before this all happened, you never imagined that this giant has a sweet side. Jocks on your school is known to be a dick. But Zach made you change your mind on your opinion with them. Being with him is a breathe of fresh air from your boring life.

“Right. What do you need?” You ask smiling. “Wow. You’re no longer opposed on being called my wife.” He laughed. “Anyways, I’m calling to remind you that Ms. Lee will be here tonight. Everything is set for the proposal this evening.” He said informing you.

“Who would think that matchmakers are still a thing on this day. Have you meet her before?” You asked Zach. Ms. Lee is your matchmaker. Matchmakers are known for chinese arranged marriages. They make sure that the union of the two family will bring wealth for both of the families. This evening will be the start the ritual. It’s a six part ritual starting with the proposal. Basically Ms. Lee together with Zach’s family will propose to your family. Once the proposal is accepted the second ritual will begin.

“Sounds crazy right? But it’s how it is. Where you able to fit your Cheongsam ?” Zach asked. It may seem that this arranged union is not taking a toll on Zach at all with how he’s handling everything. But you see changes with him. It might be little changes that his friends are not noticing but for an observant person like you, you notice it. There are bags under his eyes now. He’s starting to distance himself with his friends which for you is total BS. You may not like his friends sometimes but they’ve been his friends. This marriage should not take that away for Zach or for you.

“Zach, don’t you have practice right now?” You asked suddenly remembering that next week is game day for the school’s basketball team. You’ve been given the task of being the photographer of the event since Tyler was suspended after Hannah reported the stalking incident that happened. You never thought that Tyler can do that. You’ve worked with Tyler several times since both of you are the resident photographer of your schools paper.

“Uhh. Yea. But I asked coach for a break. I mean we need to settle a few things. It’s no big deal. I can still play on Monday.” He explained.

“Sorry. I know how important this game is for you. We can ask for the proposal to be move if you’d like so you can attend practice.”  You offered.

“No. It’s really okay, Babe.” He assured you. This guy is really thoughtful. You mused.

“Okay if you say so. I have to go. There’s a new customer coming in. See you later, BABE♥?” you said emphasizing the last part. One thing you learned about Zach is he like sweet nothings. He likes to feel that he’s the only guy for you. Which he is right, he is. The guy is starting to win your heart. Just like how this arrangement start, traditional. Zach is nothing but traditional on how to win you. He takes a lot of effort and time to make you feel things that even HIM was not able to make you feel. With Zach, you feel how important you are. He’d drop whatever he’s doing whether he’s hanging out with his friends or basketball practice to be by your side. With the last boyfriend you had it’s different.

Zach chuckling pulled you out of your reverie. “ Okay Babe. See you. Go hung up.” He says.

“ No. You hung up. You’re the one who called.” You said. Smiling. This has been an ongoing game between you and Zach.  Zach laughed. “ No babe. You hung up.” As much as you don’t want to lose. The customer is almost at the bar. “Fine. Just because the customer is already here. See you later.” You disconnected and hide your phone in your pocket.                                                           –♥–

“Wanshang Hao!” Your mom greeted your guests in Chinese while directing them to the living room. You’re standing beside the door bowing at your guests. It’s customary to avoid eye contact from your elders unless they are speaking with you directly.

Zach’s dad came in first followed by his mom. Zach’s sister came in next wearing a pink Cheongsam  with her hair in pigtails bun. She’s so cute! Over the month you’ve grown close with Zach’s sister. Agreeing babysitting everytime you get the chance. You smiled when she stopped in front of you and peered at you smiling. “Did you do something wrong?” She asked innocently.

You shake your head. Smiling at her. You’re not sure if you’re allowed to talk to her. She looked confused still looking at you. “Sky, come here.” Zach’s  mom said. Sky run to her. Then someone in red Cheongsam stopped in front of you. You know it’s Zach. It’s customary to wear matching red Cheongsam  for the pair for prosperity. You’re still not looking up. You’re focusing your attention on the hem of Zach’s Cheongsam . His scent is intoxicating you. Willing you to look at him. But you know you can’t until the proposal was accepted. Another pair of feet stopped. And your guessing she’s the match maker. “Zach, you need to go in the living room.” She said. Zach complied and walk to your living room. After the Dempsey’s came in and settled on the living room you walked in side by side with your mom.

You’re an only daughter. You descended directly from Emperor Puyi. The last emperor of China. While Zach is the great great grandson of Emperor Qin. This union ties the first and last family of Emperor’s. Yep. No pressure in there. Your peers from Liberty High thinks you’re just dating Zach. That this is just a normal high school relationship. Why do you feel that this suddenly feels too much and it’s suffocating.

Ms. Lee opened a small box and showed it to your father, “ Mr. Kim, this is the initial dowrey from Dempsey’s family. It’s a jade hair pin from the Ming royal family. Just as beautiful as your daughter.” Your dad took the box and inspect it. You’re still avoiding the eyes of your elders or anyone in the room actually. You felt like the jade hairpin. A commodity of exchange. Now you are actually lucky to have such an understanding and loving Zach to thank for. It’s a win win situation. But you can’t help but feel that you lost your freedom. Ironic since you’re living in the land of the free. You don’t what to feel anymore. In the midst of this thinking you unknowingly look up and look directly in Zach’s eyes. He’s already looking at you. It seems that everything stopped after you look at him. There’s no jade pin. No Ms. Lee. No families in the room. No pressure on your shoulders. There’s just you and him. Someone who understands this whole situation that you’re in. And suddenly you don’t feel bad anymore. He smiled like he knows what’s going on in your head. Like he knows that you just realized that you fell in love for him without him knowing it.

“Well it seems that the proposal has been accepted. Since the bride and the groom are looking at each other now.” Ms. Lee joked. Waking you and Zach on your own little bubble. Your family laughed. Ms. Lee stand and walk until she’s at the back of the sofa you are sitting in. You sat up straighter since you  know what she’ll do next. She carefully remove the jade pin on the box and slowly put it on your hair.

“We are excited for this union.” Zach’s mom mused while looking at your mom. Both of your mom and Zach’s mom are descendants of the chinese family and not your dads. It just so happen that chinese follow the patriarchal ladder that’s why your dad’s do all the talking for this engagement.

“Can you imagine the news back in China once the other families hear this?” Your mom mused. And Zach’s mom just laugh. “We cooked dinner for everyone let’s go have dinner in the kitchen and talk about the next ritual.” Everyone made a beeline to go to the kitchen. You’re the last one to stand. Zach grabbed your hand and made you look at him. “Are you okay?” He asked. Genuinely concerned. You smiled “ I am now.” Entwining your hands.

[mittensmorgul]

I struggle with Dean still doing random hookups, like many other viewers. It's hard to not let it turn me bitter. But if it helps anyone, i try to look at how it's different now than in the past, and what it means for Dean's arc as a whole. First off, in recent seasons, Dean's hookups are few and far between. And when they happen, it's usually at a time of high emotional stress, often coinciding with worry/loneliness regarding Cas. In other words, in short, they're no longer "dude bro" moments.

Hi there! And yeah, I can see surface-reading why people find it upsetting. And even if I couldn’t understand why people think it looks bad on the surface, most of my inbox today is just fretting over that scene in various degrees ranging from exasperated to distraught to resigned. So yeah, I get it.

Note to people sending me these sorts of anons, these are the things I don’t normally publish, because I’ve already written extensively on my own read on the scene, and it gets to the point where even I can’t really say anything new on the subject, as long-winded as I can be. :P

But as another anon suggested, perhaps we’re “reaching” in our destiel-positive interpretation of this particular scene... I’d like to suggest that since we’re being clobbered in the face both by Cas-adjacent subtext AND seeing a giant BS grace every flat surface in that diner, that we’re being rather forcefully prodded to make that reach.

Dean has, from the first season of this show, used sex as a coping mechanism, typically when he was feeling rejected or fearfully alone. And the parallels between this episode and 5.14 are practically punch-you-in-the-face levels of powerful.

In an episode were Famine told Dean that he was essentially a void and had no real desires for ANYTHING, yet Dean described himself as “well fed,” in that he satisfied each need as it arose and never let it become a desire. He essentially took what he needed when he needed it, in a weird sort of self-medication strategy that I identify with SO FREAKING HARD it’s actually kinda terrifying to me.

(and it’s been suggested that what Dean craved most was actually abstinence, in a sort of zen-calm way that he’s been living since about 12.14 again...but I think it has more to do with calm, with stability, with balance than actual abstinence)

(strangely in that episode the only thing Dean truly seemed to desire, and the one thing he put himself in jeopardy over, that he risked his personal safety for, he gave Cas about two whole seconds to retrieve Famine’s ring before charging in after him, running to his rescue. Which was about the amount of time Sam counted off before Dean charged into the diner in 12.10 where Cas was meeting Ishim...)

And yeah, Dean lampshaded it himself in 12.11, that his hookup with the waitress in that episode was his first in a really long time and he didn’t even remember it, so it was “like it never even happened.” And this is the first time since 12.11 he’s hooked up with anyone else, as far as we’ve seen. Before that when was his last hookup that we know of? 11.13? It’s been a while...

And what prompts this sudden and unexpected hookup? The huge void he’s currently feeling after Cas dropped THOSE WORDS on him in 12.12 and then  suddenly disappeared during 12.15 after obviously maintaining at least regular phone conversations with Dean up to that point. (I’m thinking really strongly of the parallel overlapping phone calls in 12.15 where Sam tells Mary “I love you” while Dean’s signing off with Cas... because they only have one more phone call after that before Cas stops answering, won’t return his messages, and can’t even be located with his phone’s GPS.

Last Dean knew Cas was hunting for Dagon and closing in... which is scary enough in itself but then post 12.17 when Dean didn’t hear back from Cas after he let him know they had a strong lead, and then STILL hasn’t heard from Cas after reporting in the details of their run in with Kelly and Dagon...

I mean Dean does NOT want to think about it but it’s GOT to be eating away at the back of his brain oh my god what if he’s dead what if he found Dagon and he’s dead now... And that is a place he absolutely cannot let his mind wander off to.

but seriously what the hell else would keep Cas from answering for THIS LONG... oh my god could this be the cosmic consequence? did he get himself killed for me and i wasn’t even there to stop it? is it all my fault anyway?

So Dean goes into this diner where EVERYWHERE HE LOOKS is a little ping of CAS CAS CAS from the big “Gus” that from 10 feet away might look like Cas to the mounted fish on the wall to the lost dog sign to all the people in tan coats that suddenly seem to be all the rage everywhere... It’s like he’s being subconsciously haunted by Cas. And the yawning void inside him needs to be filled immediately.

(so he creepily picks the one woman in the place that looks like a young version of his mother and chats her up with the worst line in history and a painfully pasted on grin and gets away from the diner and from Sam who’s telling him everything will be fine, and...)

How is anything in that scene NOT about Cas? And how is this, at all, “reaching.” It’s more like trying to keep from suffocating from how heavily the show was trying to pile it on there.

Which only adds to the sense of “claustrophobia” in the episode (that @postmodernmulticoloredcloak was talking about here. And I think it’s also relevant to how Dean is personally feeling right now. He feels isolated (from Cas, from Mary, and even to a degree from Sam because he feels Sam may be keeping secrets from him still...), he’s frustrated about not having been able to make contact with Cas yet, he does not like having to report to the MoL and be at their beck and call, he feels a creeping sense of violation in knowing that “his home” is not really his, or truly safe for him, after Mick popped in in the previous episode, nor does he like the MoL’s oppressive “Code” and is wary because of the way he and Sam routinely violate it... He’s worried about Mary. But mainly? The thing he was upset about through the entire opening segment? Was Cas. And the worry is smothering him.

When Dean feels emotional stress, he resorts to the appropriate outlet for countering it. Worry and loneliness >>> sex.

If he was angry about something, he’d be drinking or fighting. But he’s not angry, he’s worried. And this is his go-to coping strategy. Sublimation.