#my only point of reference for these two is monty python. where the answer is yes

[shrimp-apocalypse-now]

do you think galahad and lancelot had a little gay thing going on?

[arcticwolfpaws]

Chapter 5: Deal with a fae

https://archiveofourown.org/works/59577487/chapters/151948336

I sat out of sight and waited, for a long moment and watched as the Mage passed back by.

‘Rosa are you still safe? Did he see you?’ Kal asked, I shifted and glanced around carefully before letting out a breath I didn’t know I was holding before shaking my head.

‘No, he hasn’t seen me I’m safe for the time being. But you guys need to get down here.’ I stated firmly tucking myself small and looked around seeing a few things.

‘Easier said then done, what door? There is nothing here.’ Kid asked I looked up to the stairs as suddenly kid stumbled through before falling down the stairs I winced as I got up and walked over wanting to make sure the red head was okay,

‘That door… are you okay?’ I asked as he groaned softly looking up at me, a moment later the others walked through the door. Far more carefully then Kid had been, Miss M floated down,

‘Wally!’ she called through the mind link,

‘He’s fine, with as hard as his head is I’d be shocked if he wasn’t.’ Artemis stated, as she walked down behind Miss M and Super boy followed with a heavy sigh.

‘Do you know where we need to go from here?’ He asked and I made the universal kind of motion.

‘I know what direction to go, but little else,’ I didn’t respond but robin did as bouncy as ever.

‘Hey at least it’s a start, we can work with that.’

‘I believe that we should keep Rosa close as she seems to see through the enchantments set in place.’ Kal pointed out and every one looked at me, I suddenly wanted to sink into the floor, I hadn’t the slightest idea of what to do, but I did my damnedest to keep my wits about me.

‘Right well.. he headed this way.” I stated and headed the same way I’d seen the strange man come from. That light reemerged from some where and floated around one spot, it settled in one spot for a long moment but as I got close it slowly phased through the floor.

‘Right here.” I told them as I knelt down and felt the floor, it was Kal’s voice that snapped me back to reality.

‘I’m going to guess that she saw another one of those lights.’ Someone brushed my back as I found the handle, and started to pull it open.

‘So… we’re going to trust the lady seeing lights?” Robin asked I started down the ladder when Kids comment nearly made me choke.

‘Random women seeing lights is no bases for leader ship.’ I hit my head lightly on the ladder, I took a deep breath as I got far enough down for someone to join me.

‘Was that a king Arthur reference?’ at first I thought my question was going to go unanswered as all we could hear was kid laughing, but it was cut short as my feet hit the down on the ground.

‘Monty python actually If I remember correctly.’ Robin answered, I sighed running a hand through my hair, I hadn’t thought they would have made jokes like that but I brushed it off for the time being as I moved ahead letting them talk, well most of them. Kal stuck close as he spoke in a low whisper. ‘Alright the plan from here, Rosalie is kind of our ace in the hole she needs to stay out of sight and hidden.’ Robin stated getting down to business.

‘I can help’ I stated firmly and Robin glanced at me but it was Kal who spoke his hand on my shoulder.

‘And we don’t doubt that but you are the one here with the best chance to fix something if something goes wrong when Felix is confronted.’ Kal stated calmly before he gently pulled me back and spoke to the team making me feel like I was being left out. ‘I’ll keep Rosa, safe and out of sight, Robin, Artemis you’re on recon stay out of sight make sure we’re in the right place. Once we’re sure. And only once we are, Miss M, Kid I want you two acting as a distraction.’ he glanced to Super boy, and I leaned against the wall doing my best to stay out of sight. ‘Super boy and myself will do what we can to get Rosa were she needs to go.’ everyone nodded and Artemis wondered off trying to stay behind cover mean while Robin was just gone. The two older boys pulled me aside and I followed them, keeping my head down as we moved quietly staying hidden as the man walked around mumbling something it wasn’t a language I recognized at first.

‘So… what did you mean when you said that magic messes with your name?’ Super boy asked and that surprised me, I was expecting it from Kal not Super boy.

‘Oh well, that’s...’I started and took a deep breath, but before I kept going Kal spoke,

‘Fae lore, Names are power and having knowledge of the name is dangerous, So I imagine it allows for something close to her name with out being a risk to her, what I can’t understand is why It hasn’t seemed to affect me.’ I looked over at the Atlantian surprised, he’d been dead on and I blinked a few times.

‘Well right… that… that’s about it, I’m not sure why you aren’t bothered by it might be something to ask my father once we have him free… then again might be best he doesn’t see me.’ I stated letting out a sigh as I felt a hand on my shoulder I looked back and saw Super boy.

‘I know what it’s like to feel rejected-’ at that I cut him off, that was by far the wrong road.

‘Wrong Direction right intensity.’ I started and he looked a bit surprised, ‘Father is over protective… I’m kept away from big cites and.. well I know why. However it’s… frustrating, I am only allowed in londen once a year, and that’s my birthday and the only time I see my father’ I told them and they all paused glancing at me startled like I’d just said something deeply unsettling, ‘What?’ I asked and they looked at one another before nodding at one another with out a second thought. I was sure that meant something however what was well and truly beyond me.

‘Go time, they’re over head in the main room.’ Kid zipped and we watched a black tentacle slammed him into him before frowning him into the floor, I spotted another wrap around Robin snaking around his throat, I felt myself panic but Kal gently nuddged me forward and I kept moving sprinting across the room,

“Look out!” Super boy’s voice rang through the air as he knocked me out of the way and I yelped the force knocking me to the floor. I got a good look at what had been above our head and was breathless. Seeing the golden orbs with dozens of people shadowed with in all of them appeared to be prone and the look of it was like a tree. I knew in an instate what I was looking at however I found it hard to believe as Kal practically picked me up and shoved me to the central trunk, the keys were all in gyphs unlike any I had seen before. I stumbled with it as I heard the grunts and struggles of the others as I tried to figure this out, I panicked even more struggling, I broke when I hear Kal yelp, I looked around and saw Miss M in a ball of fire on the floor my heart sinking as I heard the strangled squeak From Artemis as she struggled. What do I do? Rosa you have to do something this is more then they can handle, he began to laugh like a mad man and I cringed, think, think! It clicked all at once, I was a fae, and men like him that did things like this they wanted power, and I’d been taught to manipulate that.

“T’at’s enough!” I snapped, Glancing over to Miss m who was laying there unmoving in a ball of fire, Artemis, robin and kid were all being choked with dark magic tendril, I didn’t see super boy or Kal and that scared me but I kept myself calm after all if I didn’t stop this… what would happen? Would they survive this? I shook the doubt from my mind yet again and took a deep breath as I spoke agian “a deal, let make a deal.” I stated Gods this was an awful way to get da to trust me to do anything on my own, or let me stay after this was over.

“And what could you possibly give me child?” He sneered making it well known how he saw me, but that was a good thing, I wanted him to see me as week and desperate and to be honest that was how I felt but blu and father both told me that calm was the key so I forced the panic down and kept my expression as natural as possible.

“Power, da power dat is… is rightfully yers.” I spread my arms wide as I spoke making it look like a grand gesture, I knew that if I played the wrong card this could go very wrong very quickly, He laughed at me shaking his head, I spotted Kal out of the corner of my eyes, grab someone.

“You are a child how could you give me something like that?” he demeaned and I put my hand the charm around my neck, breaking the enchantment and showing the striped across my skin my eyes becoming more viable for what they were, I pulled my hair back showing the points to my ears. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the look of horror on there faces, I kept my voice calm and level, despite knowing they likely felt betrayed by me I was doing my best to stay calm, but I spoke as I imaged blu would have.

“Aye, I am and I ken give ya all da power ya want, fer a price. A deal, my companions and all the mages ye caught, wit dar magic and no mer harmed den day are new. And I ken give ya da power dat is rightfully yours.” I told him, his eyes seemed to glow with greed but he hesitated a moment longer before he spoke,

“you are a fae… correct? And that means you cannot speak a lie, am I remembering correctly.” I smiled softly and tilted my head, the man was no fool but because of my father I could, and my father used lies as a way of life in fact he’d turned it into an art.

“aye, a lie ken neigh leave meh lips.” I told him as I took a step closer to him, “and I ken give you wat is rightfully yers.” I told him and he hesitated a moment longer before he held his hand out to me a wicked grin across his face as he spoke.

“Then it’s a deal.” He stated I took his hand in my own and as we shook it my magic acted vines wrapped around him the fire around Miss m faded and she looked up I could feel the vines reach up and wrap around the siphon braking the magic keeping the mages in, pulling the mages into flower buds, as it restored there magic and energy. He realized very quickly he wasn’t getting any more power, “What.. what are you doing?” He asked the panic in his voice rising as he tried to pull away but the vines weren’t letting him and I spoke softly.

“ya made a deal, and wit a fae deal there’s no going back.” I told him, I watched unnerved as he aged rapidly, as he struggled. “And after all, I’m letting ya keep what’s rightfully yers.” I told him, the vines withered leaving him an old man and I pulled my hand away as Kal raced up to me.

“I am not sure what you did, but I appreciate the quick thinking.” I smiled softly, as I glanced at him, I spotted super boy heading to Miss M,

“If I’m bein’ trut’full it’s somt’ing meh da will be unhappy about.” I told him and he looked puzzled however he didn’t have much time before the other mages started waking up Nabu someone I had only ever read about appeared, the ank that seemed to be his symbol of power suddenly anchored the now old Wizard in place as he rose into the air. The golden helmed man looked at me for a long moment then hummed as if he’d seen something he found interesting but he said nothing to me. And simply seemed to wait for someone else to wake up.

“Why?” Kal’s voice was soft as he kept an eye on the gold clad man. I opened my mouth to start explaining when we both heard a woman’s voice kal snapped around suddenly fully alert as he walked closer to the trunk of the siphon. After a moment what looked like a bridge made of water the moment her feet where on the ground Kal was at her side. “My queen.” Ahh well that explained it. I smiled softly and nearly jumped sky high when Nabu spoke.

“The Fair folk aren’t known, for acting out of kindness or for anything but there own gain.” He stated Blue eyes drifted to me and I shifted feeling the weight of his gaze. “You could have kept that power nature’s child.” he pointed out and I frowned softly shrugging,

“What good is power if others wither to gain it?” I wanted to make a biting comment I knew how his power worked how that helm was cursed in a sense. “It is something you never thought of.” He narrowed his eyes for a moment then let out a shockingly human sounding huff, before flying up to see if other’s needed aid getting down. I ran a hand through my hair and walked over to Robin who’d recovered Kid was helping Artemis to her feet. “Are you alright?” I asked but he beamed even as he struggled to steady his breathing,

“That was some quick thinking, But… how did that work?” He asked tilting his head, “He’s made deals before powerful ones wouldn’t that make the magic rightfully his?” He asked and I smiled and shook my head no,

“you might own something, but a gift can often be taken and when it comes to magic well, no one rightfully owns magic.” I told him and watched as his face scrunched up for a moment as he thought, I could tell he was going to try and make that fit in what ever rules he had built up in his head. But after a long moment he just nodded, that surprised me but Wally zipped over, seemed to look me over then zipped off.

Soon enough the room was full of mages and I spotted dad, I held my breath there was a lot to explain there.

[tropicalsuki]

Do You Copy? - Steve Harrington x fem!reader

Summary: Y/n, Steve’s girlfriend of over a year, is gone all of summer for a camp counselor job in the middle of nowhere, meaning the only way to stay in contact is through letters. Dustin and the party are sick of seeing Steve mope around, so they decide to set up a surprise date between Y/n and Steve. 

warnings: FLUFF, some angst, language, sexual references/making out, slight season 3 spoilers if you squint

word count: 2,566

A/N: this was supposed to go up Monday but my internet went down Sunday night and we just got it back today, so sorry for the delay! I hope you all love it and enjoy! Also, I’m up for writing a part two if enough people want it.

---------------

Dustin, Lucas, Max, and Will were all at Steve’s house, arguing over what movie to watch. It was their monthly movie night, and everyone was there. Well, almost everyone.

“Does anyone know when the hell Mike and El are gonna be here?” Dustin asked, annoyed with their constant flaking. 

“How are we supposed to know? They show up whenever they’re done kissing. It’s bullshit,” Lucas answered.

“Woah, language!” Steve acted offended as he walked into the room with two large bowls of popcorn. Max quickly grabbed one and sank into the couch, shoveling the snack into her mouth. “You better share!” Lucas yanked the bowl from her and the two began bickering like they usually did.

Everyone stopped talking when the doorbell rang.

 “Is it them?” Will asked as Steve went and opened the door. He came back in the room a moment later with a letter in hand. “No, not them. Just the mailman,” Steve said as he opened the letter with a slight smile. 

“Is that another letter?” Lucas asked. Max sat up, interested, “from who? Y/n?”

Steve didn’t answer their questions as he read the letter, a stupid grin on his face. 

“Ooh, let me read it!” Dustin went to grab it but Steve quickly yanked his arm away, “no, absolutely not! This is a private letter for my eyes only.”

“Aw come on! Let me see!” Dustin complained. As Steve and Dustin were arguing, Max came up behind Steve and grabbed the letter, running to the other side of the room to read it. Steve ran after her, but Lucas, Will, and Dustin tackled him as Max began reading aloud.

“’It’s only been a month since I left, but it feels like forever. I’m counting down the days until I come back to Hawkins. I miss the sound of your voice and the smell of your cologne and the way you kiss me and how you-’ ohmygod, you two are disgusting!” Max stopped reading, her face going red. 

“What? What does it say?” Lucas demanded.

“Read it for yourself! I’m not saying that out loud,” Max shook her head. 

“Will you all stop?! That’s a private letter!” Steve yelled.

Lucas and Will ran over to Max, peering over her shoulder to read the rest of the note. Dustin didn’t budge from his spot on top of Steve. As the two boys scanned the page, they went wide eyed. “That is... graphic,” Lucas finally said, trying not to laugh. 

“You two must really love each other,” Will spoke, making Steve sigh. “We do. And that’s why the letter is so important. So can you please give it back?” he asked, defeated. Dustin got off of him and Max handed over the letter. 

“Why don’t you just call her? I don’t see the problem,” Lucas said. 

“Because they don’t have phones in the middle of the woods, dipshit,” Max snipped. 

“Jesus, I forgot. No need to be so rude,” Lucas huffed as Steve got up, the doorbell ringing once more. Will ran towards the front entrance. 

“Mike and El are here!” Will called, walking back into the room a moment later with the the two teens in tow. 

“About time” “Great! We can finally start the movie now!” Max and Dustin said at once. Lucas went over to the tv, shoving the VHS into the slot. 

“What movie?” El asked, picking up the bowl of popcorn that Max left on the table. 

“Monty Python and the Holy Grail; only one of the best movies of all time,” Will stated excitedly. “Ooh, good choice,” Mike flopped down on the couch, pulling El down beside him. The others got comfy and happily chatted away as the movie began. Max shushed loudly when the opening credits were over and everyone quieted down. 

Throughout the movie, as everyone was laughing and making comments, Steve stayed quiet. Dustin took notice and waited for his chance to talk to the others. When Steve left to go to the bathroom, Dustin ran over to the tv and paused the movie.

“Dude! Why’d you stop it? This is the best part!” Mike complained. Lucas and Max chimed in with agreement.

“The movie can wait. But right now we need a plan to help Steve. He looks miserable,” Dustin answered. 

“Maybe he does not like Monty Python,” El suggested. Will sighed, “No, Dustin’s right. He’s been acting like this all summer.” 

“Why? Because of Y/n? She’s coming back in, like, three weeks,” Mike shrugged.

Max rolled her eyes, “please, Michael, if El was gone for half that long, you’d be complaining everyday.”

Mike didn’t respond, knowing she was right. 

Dustin nodded decidedly, “alright then. What’s the plan?”

-

Steve told the group he was going to the bathroom, quickly leaving and heading up to his room. He wanted to have a fun evening, he really did, but the letter stuck in his head and he couldn’t think of anything else. 

Walking over to his desk, Steve opened a drawer and set the new letter over a pile of identical ones. You and Steve sent letters back and forth at least once a week, but it still wasn’t enough. All he asked for was to hear your voice, but not even that wasn’t possible. Two months away as a camp counselor in the middle of fucking nowhere. Steve thought he would be fine without you for that long. 

He was wrong. 

Steve snapped out of his thoughts and closed the drawer, taking a deep breath before heading back downstairs. As he reentered the living room, the kids immediately stopped talking, all turning to look at him. 

“What did I miss? Did something happen?” Steve asked, looking between the six of them. 

“Nope. Nothing at all,” Lucas said casually.

“We were just waiting for you to come back. So we can keep watching,” Max added. Dustin quickly got up and started the movie again. 

Steve was too mentally exhausted to care what they were talking about, so he sat back down without question. 

-

A week passed before you got another letter in the mail. But it wasn’t from Steve. This time, it was from Dustin Henderson, claiming that Steve was in the hospital and you needed to come home immediately. 

As soon as you read the letter, you ran to your boss with tears in your eyes, begging to be sent home early. Your boss knew there was no hope in arguing, so he complied, and you sent off a letter to Dustin saying you were on your way back to Hawkins as soon as possible.

“Y/n’s coming back!” Dustin announced, waving the letter in his hand as he walked into Mike’s basement. 

“I still don’t think it was a good idea to lie to her about Steve,” Max replied. 

“She’s probably gonna have a heart attack before she gets here,” Lucas agreed. 

“Listen, I know it was messed up, but we literally haven’t seen Steve leave his house in over a week. It was necessary,” Dustin defended himself, but the others didn’t seem convinced. Dustin continued, “Y/n will be at the airport tomorrow at noon. We need to meet her there before she goes looking for Steve.”

“That’s nice and all, but how are we going to get there? None of us can drive,” Max pointed out. The others looked at each other knowingly, already having two people in mind.

-

“You told her Steve was in the hospital?!” Nancy exclaimed, looking at the six kids in front of her like they were insane before turning to her boyfriend, “Jonathan, did you know about this?”

Jonathan shook his head, “I did not. Because if I did, I would of told them it was a stupid and cruel idea.”

“That’s what I said!” Will huffed.

“Look, I fucked up. I get it. But it’s already done, so can we move forward please?” Dustin said, frustrated. 

“Yeah, whatever. It’s 11:30 so we need to go,” Nancy and Jonathan got up, leading the younger teens outside and to the car. Nancy got in the drivers seat and took them all to the airport.

When the group finally saw you coming off the flight, you were a mess. Your eyes were red from crying and your clothes and hair were all over the place. You spotted the eight of them and ran over, dropping your bags to pull Nancy into a hug, “oh god, it’s so good to see you.”

Nancy smiled, hugging you back, “I know, I missed you. We all did.”

You pulled away, looking at everyone carefully. “Is... is he okay?” you asked quietly, scared of what the answer may be. 

They all glanced at one another, silently arguing over who was going to tell you that Steve was perfectly fine. You took their silence as the exact opposite, and suddenly began crying. Jonathan pulled you into a comforting hug as Mike elbowed Dustin hard, forcing him to speak.

“No! No, don’t cry. Steve’s ok. He’s perfectly fine, and not in the hospital. He never was... I, uh, lied. to get you to come home early,” Dustin explained quickly. 

You moved away from Jonathan, your sadness and worry turning to confusion then anger, “what?”

“Yeah, uh, sorry about that,” Dustin gave you the sweetest smile he could manage. 

“You lied about my boyfriend being in the hospital?! I left my job and paid for a last minute plane ticket - and for what? What was this all for for?!” you said angrily, trying your best to keep your voice from rising. 

“Steve has been miserable all summer. But it’s gotten worse the past few weeks. We wanted him to feel better, and the only way to do that was to bring you home,” Will stepped in to explain. You sighed, having a hard time to get mad at Will; he always meant well no matter how messed up the idea. 

“Where is he? Does he know I’m here?” you questioned, wanting to see him as soon as possible. 

“No! No, he doesn’t. He can’t. We have this whole plan and we’re gonna surprise him so you can’t see him until tonight,” Lucas said quickly. 

You didn’t want to wait that long, but you doubted the kids would let you anywhere near Steve before their plan was complete. So you looked to Nancy instead, “this has all been very emotionally draining. And I need a drink.”

Nancy smiled knowingly, “I got you covered. Let’s go back to my house.” 

You nodded heavily and turned back to the kids, “you can tell me your ridiculous plan on the way there... and this doesn’t mean I’m not still beyond pissed at you all.”

The six of them nodded quickly, not wanting to push you. You followed Nancy outside, Jonathan grabbing your bags for you and hurrying after the group.

-

Dustin, El, and Mike banged on Steve’s door. He didn’t answer the first time, so they persisted. Finally the door was yanked open and Steve answered with groan, “what?!”

“We have a surprise for you,” Dustin grinned. 

“Does it involve going out?” Steve asked. Dustin nodded. “Then I’m not interested,” Steve decided. 

“Just listen to us! It’s about Y/n,” Mike said quickly.

Dustin began explaining before Steve could say anything, “we’ve been trying to find away to get into contact with Y/n, and we finally figured it out. You know my ingenious invention, Cerebral? Well, we sent a letter to Y/n and there’s a way you’ll be able to talk to each other!” 

Steve watched him, a blank expression on his face, “nice idea, but that’s not possible. If phones don’t work there, how is your stupid little radio going to?”

“It’s different. Landlines and radios work on different frequencies, and interact in different ways. There’s no phones at Y/n’s camp, but there’s radios. So it’ll work. We’ve tested it,” Dustin insisted, trying his best to be convincing. 

“It’s true,” El nodded. Mike smiled at Steve in support. 

Steve was desperate, and willing to try anything, “fine. When?”

“In an hour. So go take a shower - you smell awful,” Mike said. 

-

An hour later, Steve was hiking up to the highest point in Hawkins, while you hid a bit further down on the other side of the hill with Lucas and Max. Dustin, Mike, El, and Will lead Steve to where Cerebral was set up, talking to him about how you were waiting on the other end. 

“This better work or I’m going to beat you with your own equipment,” Steve said to Dustin, no hint of sarcasm in his voice. 

“It’ll work. I promise,” Dustin assured, sitting down by the main radio. Dustin pretended to work on getting a proper connection, but it seemed to be failing, and Steve was growing impatient. 

“I swear to god, Henderson, you took me all the way up here and got my hopes up and the damn radio wont even work,” he said angrily. 

Dustin didn’t reply, turning a few more knobs as you sneaked up the hill and stood behind Steve.

“Steve?”

When he heard your voice, Steve quickly moved closer to the radio, surprised that it was actually working and how clear your voice sounded, “Y/n? Y/n, is that you?”

“Steve,” you said again, a bit louder, and he froze, realizing the voice wasn’t coming from the radio. Turning around, his eyes landed on you and a grin spread across his face. 

“Hi,” you grinned back and Steve ran over, scooping you up in a tight hug and spinning you around, both of you laughing from happiness. 

He put you down and pulled you into a deep kiss as you wrapped your arms around his neck. The kids watched on, proud of their work. 

“You came home,” Steve stated, keeping you close. 

“The kids told me you were in the hospital. I came home as soon as I could. They were lying, obviously,” you explained. Steve was too happy to have you back to be mad about that right now, so instead he just pulled you closer to him.

“I missed you so much,” you breathed, running your hands down his chest and kissing him. Steve kissed you back with an almost desperation, and the six kids realized things were about to get heated. 

“Should, we uh...,” Lucas trailed, pointing down to the bottom of the hill. “Yep. Mmhm,” the others nodded and the group quickly ran off, leaving you and Steve on your own. 

You pulled Steve down so the two of you were laying on the grass, never breaking the kiss in the process. He moved you on top of him, running his hands through your hair. You pulled away slightly to catch your breath, “I love you so much.”

“I love you too. It hurts how much I love you,” Steve answered, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. 

“Did you get my last letter?” you asked as you ran a hand across his cheek. 

“I sure did,” Steve smiled slightly.

“I meant every word. And those things I promised I’d do to you when I got back...,” you started playfully, but was cut off when Steve rolled you over so he was hovering over you.

“I know you’d never break a promise. So just kiss me, idiot,” Steve said teasingly. You grinned and pulled him down to meet your lips once more. 

-

End.

[shewantedtobeasecretgirl]

7. Bass is heavy a.k.a. useful finger techniques, Dee Dee Ramone’s yelling and helpful octopuses

„Damn, I forgot Sly and Ethel in the van!” she groans and slaps on her forehead.

“No problem, I bring them with the next round.” Scully offers and disappears in the hallway that leads to the backdoor. I have no idea who Sly and Ethel can be but I don’t want to know it either… Now that she’s been left alone she tries to push the carriage trolley with the amps to its place on the stage. With little success. But her fight with the gear twice as heavy as her reminds me of a scene.

“Old woman!” I call her.

“Man!” she corrects me still pressing against the load at full strength. Okay, she passed the test again but that’s not a big deal, Monty Python’s Holy Grail basically became a mainstream movie by now, anybody could quote a few scenes from it. Okay, not everyone, none of my former girlfriends was familiar with absurd humor and neither is Amber. I got her to watch it with me but I gave up the mission and turned off the video recorder when she asked for the third time how much time was left of it. It’s just not for her.

“Okay, Dennis, where’s my cow?” I inquire while I’m helping her win the battle; otherwise hours later, the amps would still stand in the middle of the stage and our crowd would enjoy her hopeless struggle instead of the show.

“Are you deaf? Or just concentration problems?” she asks harshly, avoiding my glance and trying to ignore my intervention but her rush moves uncover the surprise she might feel about it.

“Hey, it’s not easy to talk with you, do you know? I asked you about something, I even emphasized my lack of information using a different tone, in grammar text books you can find the encyclopedic explanation in chapter “Question”.” I draw a question mark with my index finger in the air. “The next communication panel is the so-called “answer” in which you satisfy my need for details…” I gesture the quotation marks too.

“I won’t satisfy you in any way, excuse me…” she cuts me off and even tosses me away a bit as she steps dynamically to the monitor board to plug the cables into it.

“I’m just trying to ask where’s my…” I don’t need to finish the sentence since Scully arrives back with Dave’s stage prop, holding my cow under his arm.

“And I was trying to refer to the fact that we take care of Ethel and Sly.” she nods at the two mascots.

“Ethel?” I blurt out frowning. This chick isn’t sane, she was serious about searching for a name for it… “Since when has she been called Ethel?”

“Actually her name has always been Ethel, you’ve just never asked her about it.” she fixes her glasses with a wiseacre face. “She was quite unhappy, did you know that? I caught her searching for numbers of slaughterhouses in the phonebook as she wanted to volunteer to be a steak ingredient, no wonder knowing you. But when I told her we were traveling to Texas soon she immediately changed her mind. Now she wants to be the spokesperson of the anti-rodeo movement. A little care makes wonders.”

Her fantasy is quite intense, I have to admit.

“So you’re obsessed with stuffed animals?” I ask leaning against my Marshall and watch her wiring the stage with quick moves.

“…asks the guy who keeps one on his amplifier…” she mumbles darting at me for a second and raising one eyebrow. “What are you doing here, anyway? Are you supervising me or what? As far as I know I’m an unbearable person who makes the others admire her and uses her family ties…”

Nice attempt but not enough to distract me.

“…and who told, ahem, yelled at me that I should get to know her better, that’s what I’m trying to do right now.” I continue the sentence. “So tell me, Judith, how many stuffed animals do you have exactly? I bet there are a few ones in your bedroom… my first estimation would be somewhere between five and ten.”

“Oh yeah, my bedroom. Damn, you’ve got me… First of all there’s that huge teddy sitting on my bed, how did you figure it out? Then there’s the bunny in the armchair, the cute seal on my desk and my stuffed pony and unicorn collection, I gave up counting them a few years ago. And I have to mention that everything in the room is very pink and very fluffy. Do I meet the profile you created about me?” she bats her eyelashes.

Clever, but not clever enough to drive me to the wall.

“Actually, when I asked you about stuffed animals I was talking about stuffed animals. Like, dead animals which are stuffed. I mean, I could totally imagine a few stuffed bats, snakes and rats hanged on your shelves full of mysterious ingredients for occult purposes. Candles arranged on the points of a huge pentagram, right next to the coffin-shaped bed…”

“You left out the voodoo dolls. I have a bunch of them, the latest one I prepared wears denim pants and a Luv Co shirt tucked into them…” she approaches threatening me with a jack plug and for one second I think she’s about to stick it into my eyeball but in the last moment she changes direction and plugs it into the matching slot of the amp. I acknowledge, she didn’t need much time to know her way around our gear… But come on, even a chimpanzee can be trained how to put different solids into the right holes, she’s on the level of an average lab monkey. “But how come I turned from a nun into a witch in one single day? You’re pretty much inconsistent at insulting, Gossard…”

That makes sense. I open my mouth to cite the witch hunt scene from the mentioned movie but Scully intervenes in our conversation.

��Guys, if you go on like this I’ll claim payrise from Eric…”

“For what? How do you mean it?” she turns in his direction with hands on hips.

“Conflict management bonus.” he shrugs casually. “Seriously, could you just stop for a moment? For just a few seconds, I feel like I was at a fucking dogfight.”

“It was him who started it!” she exclaims outraged pointing at me.

“Don’t look at me, I don’t know what she’s talking about.” I play dumb raising my hands in front of me.

“Jesus, you’re hopeless. Forget the stopping part, I just want the money.” Scully shakes his head resigned.

“Money? What money? I don’t know what’s going on here but I want money too.” Smitty enters in the company off Dave, Karrie and Jeff.

“When did everybody get so greedy? Actually, it is you who should pay me for my show, I’m the only one who keeps you entertained in this boring touring life.” I smirk as I begin to tune my orange Les Paul.

“As for me, I prefer boredom by all means.“ she rolls her eyes and begins to flipping through her notebook.

“Hey, Judy, we have a few spare hour after the soundcheck and I thought… I thought we could begin your bass guitar lessons.” Jeff scratches his nape holding his other hand deep in his pocket. Awkward loverboy alert… I pull a few steps away because I’m not interested in this embarrassing lovey-dovey but I also try to stay within earshot. Not that I give a shit about it, it’s just better to keep up with the sequels.

“Sure!” she smiles. “I mean, Karrie, do you have any plans for the rest of the afternoon? If you don’t, we could…”

“Beth wants to do some shopping, I forgot to mention it… so I’m going with her. I wanted to ask you too but I have a mind like a sieve…” Karrie answers suspiciously quickly.

“Oookay, then why not?”

“Your place or mine?” Jeff asks not noticing how ambiguous he sounds.

“Jesus, Jeff, you don’t waste your time, straight to the point…” I throw in, which makes the others stop staring them and suddenly everybody pretends to be busy with their work to hide their grins and snorts.

“There’s that small park near the hotel, what if we go there?” the target person of the courtship tries to ignore my remark but can’t disguise the tremble in her voice.

Clever, again. She picks a neutral place. Cautious enough not to show her closest surrounding and smart enough not to get in awkward situations. I mean, boys’ rooms tend to be quite messy, the mixed smell of sweat and deodorant for men, not to mention the stinky sneakers and boxers left on the bed…

“Great. I’ve already mapped out which things I want to show you first.” Jeff goes on enthusiastically and more awkwardly if it’s possible at all. I see Dave’s shoulders shaking as he kneels behind his bass drum to fake-fix its pedal.

“Let’s begin with the basics, I only learnt the most common chords to be able to play some accompaniment to campfire songs and nursery rhymes.” she insists on keeping the conversation under control but Jeff doesn’t seem to cooperate.

“I can teach you a few useful finger techniques.” he exercises the fingers of his bear paws with sincere innocence in his eyes but at this point everybody cracks up; even his future music student giggles bashfully.

“What’s with everyone?” he looks around confused. “What’s so funny?”

“You should… have… heard yourself...” Scully hiccups as he and Smitty collapse of uncontrollable laughter onto each other’s shoulder.

“Oh yeah. That conversation was… juicy.” Dave adds winking and doing unmistakable moves with his hips and arms.

“Oh fff…” Jeff buries his face into his palms replaying the scene in his head. Dave steps to him to pat his shoulders a few times.

“You know what, Ames? You shouldn’t talk so much about what you’re going to do. Just… do it.”

***

“So what’s your plan with that skateboard?” Judy asks while we’re walking in the park searching for a remote place. She hasn’t come up with that awkward conversation yet and I can’t be grateful enough to her for that. I don’t know what happened to me, usually I’m not that clueless type… I was probably way too much focused on the possible outcome of this day. If can I stick to my plan, I’m going to ask her out in like one hour and I have absolutely no idea what she might answer and that drives me crazy. Cool down, Ament, don’t act like a junior high school student before his first prom…

“Uhm… I know it sounds surprising but I thought I could skateboard here…” Aaaand in the category of meaningless answers, the Oscar goes to… drumbeat… Jeffrey Allen Ament, Big Sandy, Montana!!! “Plus, I thought if being a qualified musician, you found the class boring, we could spice it up with some physical challenges… like… you should play bass lines while rolling and balancing on this skateboard. And if it was still a piece of cake for you we could search for a skate park with half pipes and you could even do somersaults and flips.”

“I don’t know… I’m not an athletic type… I’ve only tried to ride a scooter once in my life. Mary Sue Kellerman, my classmate lent me hers on the playground when we were second graders. She explained and showed me how to do it but somehow I didn’t feel the technique, I stepped on it, drove it a few times and enjoyed the speed so much that I forgot to drive it again.” she giggles.

“And… what happened?”

“Seeing I was slowing down she yelled after me like ”Drive, drive!” but I felt paralyzed, I pulled up gradually and ended up tumbling from a standing position…”

“Poor you! But my first skateboarding attempts weren’t glorious either and I still collect a few injuries when I decide to learn a new trick. But I fell in love with it at first… try, and I never want to give it up.”

“You could be a cool, skateboarding grandpa who shocks the youth!”

We find a calm, trellis-like corner and settle down still discussing the same topic. Unlike most girls I know, she doesn’t mind it at all and when I tell her how my father convinced me to build my own skateboard instead of buying that expensive Stacy Peralta board, she turns out to know him. I can’t believe my ears when she mentions Tony Alva too, I mean, who’s this girl?

“And how did you pick up how to play the guitar?” she nods towards the bass on my lap.

“Believe or not I took a few lessons… But they were boring, at least for me, no chords, no songs, only scales…”

“Scales are important!” she corrects me. I always forget that she’s pretty conscious as for music which isn’t typical at all in the band.

“What can I say… I grew up listening to my uncle’s records and as I could spare some money I spent all of it on ordering music magazines and vinyls. And when I started playing bass I figured out how to use my stereo vinyl player to learn Dee Dee Ramone’s parts.”

“I love them!” she exclaims.

“Really? I mean, you know a lot about music and punk songs aren’t very sophisticated concerning the musical part…”

“But that’s the best in punk. Even if you’re not very talented technically you still can play a bunch of songs… or if you can’t, you can still reproduce Dee Dee Ramone’s totally out-of-rhythm “one-two-three-four” yelling. And most punk songs operate with the classic scale degrees. Ramones also use the holy trinity of tonic, subdominant and dominant like the greatest composers before them and…” she jabbers enthusiastically without breathing.

“Waitwaitwait, stop! I don’t have the faintest clue what you’re talking about, if you want to analyze my favorite songs to me you have to go back to Genesis to make it understandable for this Montanan jerk!” I cut her off chuckling.

“Do you mean the Old Testament or the band?” she grins. “Anyway, it’s very simple, look.”

She grabs the instrument out of my lap, disposes it onto hers and strums all strings one after another.

“Normal basses are tuned like double basses, right?“ To my nodding she names them. “E, A, D, G. So, let’s take Blitzkrieg Bop which is written in A major.” She plays the bass line of the mentioned song flawlessly and explains its chord progression in the meantime. I listen to her with dropped jaw and when she falls silent for a second, I take my bass quickly back.

“Okay, the lesson is over, excuse me but I have to go and bury myself alive.” I remark trying to keep a straight face.

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t want to sound like a nerd or show off with my theoretical knowledge, I…”

“You don’t have to apologize for amazing me! But now it’s my turn to amaze you… Do you like graffiti?”

“I don’t know… I’m ambivalent… there are a few ones which look good and are also meaningful but if someone destroys a clear wall with stupid scrawls…” she frowns.

Oh. That’s not a good sign… Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale…

“I prefer the creative ones too, such as my friend from the art school. He studied photography and spent his last years with shooting the best graffiti he’s seen all across the country and Canada and his exhibition opens on Thursday in Boston. And since we have a day off right that day, right there, I thought you could join.” I utter fast with one big breath. She stares me silently for a few seconds which seem like an eternity.

“ ’Course. Cool.” she answers briefly as if she was declaring something evident. I don’t have too much time to process the positive reception since she begins to roll my skateboard back and forth with her foot.

“Your introduction made me curious, I want to try this diabolical device.”

“Haha, okay, but only if I can walk next to you, you may need a handhold.”

She steps onto the board and she rolls cautiously on the path where we got here in a few minutes. She’s too busy with balancing to notice the rest of the band approaching from the gate.

“Hey Jeff, a suspicious woman is trying to steal your baby!” Eddie shouts.

“Look, guys I’m skateboaaaaaa…” she has to circle with her arms a few times and grab my shoulder to prevent herself from tumbling.

“Carefully, Judy. You should try surfing, it improves sense of balance and falling in water is safer than concrete.” Ed recommends.

“Say yes, if you don’t want to be fired…” Mike whisper-shouts hiding his face with one hand from Eddie preventing him from hearing it, which is obviously totally unnecessary.

“I’m not a big swimmer, so…” she shrugs apologetically.

“Anyway, did Jeff force you to try it? You can answer by signaling with your eyelids…” Mike jokes on.

“No, she just turned out to be a way better bass player than me. So I’ll quit the band and she’s begun to practice before she has to take over all of my tasks.”

“Ah, I see. Judy, I warn you, you’ll have to slam-dance with me. You should gain some weight, I don’t want to kill you…”

“Ed’s right. I’m going to slap you in the face with the guitar neck a few times… I mean literally… but no offense, you can hit back anytime you want or you can land on my foot after jumps from the monitor box like Jeff does…”

Judy wrinkles her nose as she tries to follow the relay of jokes. Stone – who has stayed silent until now – flashes an evil grin and clears his throat. The well-known first signs of his moronic verbal diarrhea.

“Guys, you forgot to prepare her for the most important circumstances. But that’s why I am the band leader… Judith, you have to do some shopping. The polyester basketball shirts are essential parts of our stage look, we can’t allow ourselves losing them just because Jeff quits. And the hats… that’s a more difficult question, they look quite… unique… so I don’t think you have any other choice than borrow them. Do you have sensitive scalp? Because… nevermind, I can lend you a few bandanas to make it more hygienic. Oh, and at certain points of the shows you’ll have to strip. Jeff often drops his shirt and plays on half-naked as you could already see it, you can’t break this tradition. But you also have to keep the hat on your head, don’t ask me why, that’s the rule.”

I sway my guitar case pretending I want to hit him and in the meantime I bite my lower lip to repress my grin. Stone is an idiot but sometimes he has good ideas… I mean obviously I can relate to that plot if I can be in the crowd… Jesus, when did I become such a sexist? I’ve just asked the poor girl out and… I’d better take a cold shower.

***

“And can we see you on TV on Saturday?” I ask rolling the film with my finger back and forth on the table. When Judy called me I was selecting pictures I want to show to Krisha as reference works and I found a few ones which I have to have developed.

“Nah, I don’t think so. We’re going to be with the guys in the studio but we’re not going to be filmed with the cameras. I think Karrie and Brett will have to work with the sound staff in the control room and I… I don’t know yet, if they let me in too I’ll just watch them like a useless idiot… which I am…”

“Control room? Wow, that sounds like a sci-fi, I can totally imagine the Star Trek characters there…” I deliberately ignore her low self-esteem-powered remark. “I’ve also seen in the previews that Sharon Stone would host the show, that’s an interesting combination…”

“Yep, Eric mentioned the creators wanted a funny scene or spot with her and the band but I don’t know if they can find a common ground. They only want to play music and aren’t interested in show business at all.”

“Maybe they want to gag with their physical appearance. Like, Sharon is tall and her legs are unrealistically long whereas Eddie is short so the screenwriters may figure out a joke about him being able to walk between her legs without bowing his head.” I guess as I start rummaging the photo heaps in front of me.

“Haha, you’re evil! You have no right to joke about Ed’s height, you’re a dwarf just like me…”

“But dwarf jokes are the best ones, you have to admit it. And… what are your plans until Saturday? Have you used the tape recorder yet?”

“Noooo…”

“You’re unbelievable, I’ve said you should…”

“…borrow a guitar, I know. Uhm, yesterday Jeff gave me a bass lesson, does that count?”

“Mmmmh, Jeff Ament?” I ask meaningfully. Since Judy joined the staff I played with the idea of them getting together, he seems to match her.

“No, Jeff Goldblum… of course Jeff Ament, who else? And he also let me ride his skateboard.”

“He let you ride his skateboard? That’s how you call it? It’s that a new slang or…” I cackle.

“Shut up, I meant it literally. No slang, no obscene details.” she cuts me off severely. So typical, usually she isn’t against sex related jokes but when actual guys around her come into play, she suddenly turns into a prude spinster.

“Okay, okay, I was just kidding. I’m just surprised, you haven’t mentioned yet you two spend time alone.” Actually I’m happy for these news, not only because I think they’d click but also because in the first ten minutes of our conversation she was cursing Stone Gossard. And even if only the half of what she claimed is true, I can’t blame her; the dude must be quite obnoxious. But still, she barely mentions anyone else from the band and I’m afraid if she goes on like this, these negative feelings will spoil her tour. “And how went the skateboarding? Did you collect a few bruises?”

“Haha, not yet. I didn’t try any tricks and I was probably quite clumsy but he kept encouraging me, he’s a nice guy. And ah, as for plans, he asked me whether I want to go to the photo exhibition of his friend in Boston. The guy invited them and Jeff asked me to join too.”

“That sounds great! And what kind of photos?”

“Photos of interesting graffiti. Jeff used to draw graffiti as well, did you know that? He told me a lot about himself but not in that annoying way when one is talking and talking and isn’t interested in the listener at all… this and the fact Eric defended me and they even gave me a cake… and that Jeff invited me with the bunch… make me feel they really accepted me as a member of the crew… and… oh, shit, I have to go, we have to set off for the show! Kisses for Mom and Granny!”

“Bye, take care of…” It’s needless to finish the sentence since she hung up in the meantime.

A few minutes later, I can hear the key turning in the lock and Mom literally falls in the apartment with her heavy shopping bags.

“You should have knocked, I would have helped you if you had asked me…” I shake my head and collect the apples and small cans which rolled everywhere on the ground.

“If I can give injection to Mrs. Mueller while she’s yelling at me calling me Gestapo’s slut, I can do everything…”

“Your foundation should employ octopuses, they are strong, can use their legs independently and are good listeners. And some of your clients wouldn’t even wonder if one crawled into their home…”

“That’s sure. I ask the opinion of my boss about it.” she settles to the table staring exhausted in front of herself.

“Anyway, you’ve just missed Judy’s call.”

“Damn… I wanted to hear her voice, I literally tossed Mrs. Muller into her bed to finish earlier…”

“Unfortunately you can’t see her either… I asked her about Saturday Night Live and we won’t see her in the show… But we still could watch it together, I would show you the guys and tell everything I’ve heard about them from her. We could make some popcorn and…”

“Oh, sweetie, haven’t I mentioned yet? I… I have to work…” she suddenly gets embarrassed.

“What? In the evening? On Saturday? By the time the show begins your clients are already sleeping the sleep of the just.” I complain.

“I know, but… there’s a former colleague from the hospital who works now in a nursing home. A few nurses quitted and I thought we could use the extra money so she recommended me to her boss as an occasional substitute nurse. And I begin on Saturday.”

Great. Since when have we concealed things like this from each other? I thought we could finally have a mother-daughter evening when she didn’t talk only about the insufferable old terrorists and didn’t pass out of exhaust right after dinner… she should finally relax and I need her company too, since Judy left I’ve felt like a lonely prisoner. And that’s more important than money, we don’t starve and if I got a few jobs I could contribute to our budget too, I wouldn’t be the cripple anymore who costs them a lot.

“And why didn’t you tell me that? Is it a secret or what?”

“Effie, honey, stop pouting, please. You can record it to me and we can watch it on Sunday. And I won’t even say a word if you stop it at every single shot, I’m going to listen to every single detail about these jam boys, I promise.”

“Mmmkay…” I mutter. I don’t like this patronizing voice, I’m not a toddler, I just want her to be honest with me.

“And what are you doing? Selecting pictures?”

“Yes… nothing particular…”

If she doesn’t tell me everything, why should I, right?

[vintagegeekculture]

Dead Fandoms, Part 3

Read Part One of Dead Fandoms here. 

Read Part Two of Dead Fandoms here. 

Before we continue, I want to add the usual caveat that I actually don’t want to be right about these fandoms being dead. I like enthusiasm and energy and it’s a shame to see it vanish.

Mists of Avalon

Remember that period of time of about 15 years, where absolutely everybody read this book and was obsessed with it? It could not have been bigger, and the fandom was Anne Rice huge, overlapping for several years with USENET and the early World Wide Web…but it’s since petered out. 

Mists of Avalon’s popularity may be due to the most excellent case of hitting a demographic sweet spot ever. The book was a feminist retelling of the Arthurian Mythos where Morgan Le Fay is the main character, a pagan from matriarchal goddess religions who is fighting against encroaching Christianity and patriarchal forms of society coming in with it. Also, it made Lancelot bisexual and his conflict is how torn he is about his attraction to both Arthur and Guinevere.

Remember, this novel came out in 1983 – talk about being ahead of your time! If it came out today, the reaction from a certain corner would be something like “it is with a heavy heart that I inform you that tumblr is at it again.”

Man, demographically speaking, that’s called “nailing it.” It used to be one of the favorite books of the kind of person who’s bookshelf is dominated by fantasy novels about outspoken, fiery-tongued redheaded women, who dream of someday moving to Scotland, who love Enya music and Kate Bush, who sell homemade needlepoint stuff on etsy, who consider their religious beliefs neo-pagan or wicca, and who have like 15 cats, three of which are named Isis, Hypatia, and Morrigan.

This type of person is still with us, so why did this novel fade in popularity? There’s actually a single hideous reason: after her death around 2001, facts came out that Marion Zimmer Bradley abused her daughters sexually. Even when she was alive, she was known for defending and enabling a known child abuser, her husband, Walter Breen. To say people see your work differently after something like this is an understatement – especially if your identity is built around being a progressive and feminist author.

Robotech

I try to break up my sections on dead fandoms into three parts: first, I explain the property, then explain why it found a devoted audience, and finally, I explain why that fan devotion and community went away. Well, in the case of Robotech, I can do all three with a single sentence: it was the first boy pilot/giant robot Japanimation series that shot for an older, teenage audience to be widely released in the West. Robotech found an audience when it was the only true anime to be widely available, and lost it when became just another import anime show. In the days of Crunchyroll, it’s really hard to explain what made Robotech so special, because it means describing a different world.

Try to imagine what it was like in 1986 for Japanime fans: there were barely any video imports, and if you wanted a series, you usually had to trade tapes at your local basement club (they were so precious they couldn’t even be sold, only traded). If you were lucky, you were given a script to translate what you were watching. Robotech though, was on every day, usually after school. You want an action figure? Well, you could buy a Robotech Valkyrie or a Minmei figure at your local corner FAO Schwartz. 

However, the very strategy that led to it getting syndicated is the very reason it was later vilified by the purists who emerged when anime became a widespread cultural force: strictly speaking, there actually is no show called “Robotech.” Since Japanese shows tend to be short run, say, 50-60 episodes, it fell well under the 80-100 episode mark needed for syndication in the US. The producer of Harmony Gold, Carl Macek, had a solution: he’d cut three unrelated but similar looking series together into one, called “Robotech.” The shows looked very similar, had similar love triangles, used similar tropes, and even had little references to each other, so the fit was natural. It led to Robotech becoming a weekday afternoon staple with a strong fandom who called themselves “Protoculture Addicts.” There were conventions entirely devoted to Robotech. The supposed shower scene where Minmei was bare-breasted was the barely whispered stuff of pervert legend in pre-internet days. And the tie in novels, written with the entirely western/Harmony Gold conception of the series and which continued the story, were actually surprisingly readable.

The final nail in the coffin of Robotech fandom was the rise of Sailor Moon, Toonami, Dragonball, and yes, Pokemon (like MC Hammer’s role in popularizing hip hop, Pokemon is often written out of its role in creating an audience for the next wave of cartoon imports out of insecurity). Anime popularity in the West can be defined as not a continuing unbroken chain like scifi book fandom is, but as an unrelated series of waves, like multiple ancient ruins buried on top of each other (Robotech was the vanguard of the third wave, as Anime historians reckon); Robotech’s wave was subsumed by the next, which had different priorities and different “core texts.” Pikachu did what the Zentraedi and Invid couldn’t do: they destroyed the SDF-1.

Legion of Super-Heroes

Legion of Superheroes was comic set in the distant future that combined superheroes with space opera, with a visual aesthetic that can best be described as “Star Trek: the Motion Picture, if it was set in a disco.” 

I’ve heard wrestling described as “a soap opera for men.” If that’s the case, then Legion of Super-Heroes was a soap opera for nerds. The book is about attractive 20-somethings who seem to hook up all the time. As a result, it had a large female fanbase, which, I cannot stress enough, is incredibly unusual for this era in comics history. And if you have female fans, you get a lot of shipping and slashfic, and lots of speculation over which of the boy characters in the series is gay. The fanon answer is Element Lad, because he wore magenta-pink and never had a girlfriend. (Can’t argue with bulletproof logic like that.) In other words, it was a 1970s-80s fandom that felt much more “modern” than the more right-brained, bloodless, often anal scifi fandoms that existed around the same time, where letters pages were just nitpicking science errors by model train and elevator enthusiasts.

Legion Headquarters seemed to be a rabbit fuck den built around a supercomputer and Danger Room. Cosmic Boy dressed like Tim Curry in Rocky Horror. There’s one member, Duo Damsel, who can turn into two people, a power that, in the words of Legion writer Jim Shooter, was “useful for weird sex...and not much else.”

LSH was popular because the fans were insanely horny. This is, beyond the shadow of a doubt, the thirstiest fandom of all time.  You might think I’m overselling this, but I really think that’s an under-analyzed part of how some kinds of fiction build a devoted fanbase.  

For example, a big reason for the success of Mass Effect is that everyone has a favorite girl or boy, and you have the option to romance them. Likewise, everyone who was a fan of Legion remembers having a crush. Sardonic Ultra Boy for some reason was a favorite among gay male nerds (aka the Robert Conrad Effect). Tall, blonde, amazonian telepath Saturn Girl, maybe the first female team leader in comics history, is for the guys with backbone who prefer Veronica over Betty. Shrinking Violet was a cute Audrey Hepburn type. And don’t forget Shadow Lass, who was a blue skinned alien babe with pointed ears and is heavily implied to have an accent (she was Aayla Secura before Aayla Secura was Aayla Secura). Light Lass was commonly believed to be “coded lesbian” because of a short haircut and her relationships with men didn’t work out. The point is, it’s one thing to read about the adventures of a superteam, and it implies a totally different level of mental and emotional involvement to read the adventures of your imaginary girlfriend/boyfriend.  

Now, I should point out that of all the fandoms I’ve examined here, LSH was maybe the smallest. Legion was never a top seller, but it was a favorite of the most devoted of fans who kept it alive all through the seventies and eighties with an energy and intensity disproportionate to their actual numbers. My gosh, were LSH fans devoted! Interlac and Legion Outpost were two Legion fanzines that are some of the most famous fanzines in comics history.

If nerd culture fandoms were drugs, Star Wars would be alcohol, Doctor Who would be weed, but Legion of Super-Heroes would be injecting heroin directly into your eyeballs. Maybe it is because the Legionnaires were nerdy, too: they played Dungeons and Dragons in their off time (an escape, no doubt, from their humdrum, mundane lives as galaxy-rescuing superheroes). There were sometimes call outs to Monty Python. Basically, the whole thing had a feel like the dorkily earnest skits or filk-singing at a con. Legion felt like it’s own fan series, guest starring Patton Oswalt and Felicia Day.

It helped that the boundary between fandom and professional was incredibly porous. For instance, pro-artist Dave Cockrum did covers for Legion fanzines. Former Legion APA members Todd and Mary Biernbaum got a chance to actually write Legion, where, with the gusto of former slashfic writers given the keys to canon, their major contribution was a subplot that explicitly made Element Lad gay. Mike Grell, a professional artist who got paid to work on the series, did vaguely porno-ish fan art. Again, it’s hard to tell where the pros started and the fandom ended; the inmates were running the asylum.

Mostly, Legion earned this devotion because it could reward it in a way no other comic could. Because Legion was not a wide market comic but was bought by a core audience, after a point, there were no self-contained one-and-done Legion stories. In fact, there weren’t even really arcs as we know it, which is why Legion always has problems getting reprinted in trade form. Legion was plotted like a daytime soap opera: there were always five different stories going on in every issue, and a comic involved cutting between them. Sure, like daytime soap operas, there’s never a beginning, just endless middles, so it was totally impossible for a newbie to jump on board...but soap operas know what they are doing: long term storytelling rewards a long term reader.

This brings me to today, where Legion is no longer being published by DC. There is no discussion about a movie or TV revival. This is amazing. Comics are a world where the tiniest nerd groups get pandered to: Micronauts, Weirdworld, Seeker 3000, and Rom have had revival series, for pete’s sake. It’s incredible there’s no discussion of a film or TV treatment, either; friggin Cyborg from New Teen Titans is getting a solo movie. 

Why did Legion stop being such a big deal? Where did the fandom that supported it dissolve to? One word: X-Men. Legion was incredibly ahead of its time. In the 60s and 70s, there were barely any “fan” comics, since superhero comics were like animation is today: mostly aimed at kids, with a minority of discerning adult/teen fans, and it was success among kids, not fans, that led to something being a top seller (hence, “fan favorites” in the 1970s, as surprising as it is to us today, often did not get a lot of work, like Don MacGregor or Barry Smith). But as newsstands started to push comics out, the fan audience started to get bigger and more important…everyone else started to catch up to the things that made Legion unique: most comics started to have attractive people who paired up into couples and/or love triangles, and featured extremely byzantine long term storytelling. If Legion of Super-Heroes is going to be remembered for anything, it’s for being the smaller scale “John the Baptist” to the phenomenon of X-Men, the ultimate “fan” comic.

The other thing that killed Legion, apart from Marvel’s Merry Mutants, that is, was the r-word: reboots. A reboot only works for some properties, but not others. You reboot something when you want to find something for a mass audience to respond to, like with Zorro, Batman, or Godzilla.

Legion, though, was not a comic for everybody, it was a fanboy/girl comic beloved by a niche who read it for continuing stories and minutiae (and to jack off, and in some cases, jill off). Rebooting a comic like that is a bad idea. You do not reboot something where the main way you engage with the property, the greatest strength, is the accumulated lore and history. Rebooting a property like that means losing the reason people like it, and unless it’s something with a wide audience, you only lose fans and won’t get anything in return for it. So for something like Legion (small fandom obsessed with long form plots and details, but unlike Trek, no name recognition) a reboot is the ultimate Achilles heel that shatters everything, a self-destruct button they kept hitting over and over and over until there was nothing at all left.

E. E. Smith’s Lensman Novels

The Lensman series is like Gil Evans’s jazz: it’s your grandparents’ favorite thing that you’ve never heard of. 

I mean, have you ever wondered exactly what scifi fandom talked about before the rise of the major core texts and cultural objects (Star Trek, Asimov, etc)? Well, it was this. Lensmen was the subject of fanfiction mailed in manilla envelopes during the 30s, 40s, and 50s (some of which are still around). If you’re from Boston, you might recognize that the two biggest and oldest scifi cons there going back to the 1940s, Boskone (Boscon, get it?) and Arisia, are references to the Lensman series. This series not only created space opera as we know it, but contributed two of the biggest visuals in scifi, the interstellar police drawn from different alien species, and space marines in power armor.

My favorite sign of how big this series was and how fans responded to it, was a great wedding held at Worldcon that duplicated Kimball Kinnison and Clarissa’s wedding on Klovia. This is adorable:

The basic story is pure good vs. evil: galactic civilization faces a crime and piracy wave of unprecedented proportions from technologically advanced pirates (the memory of Prohibition, where criminals had superior firearms and faster cars than the cops, was strong by the mid-1930s). A young officer, Kimball Kinnison (who speaks in a Stan Lee esque style of dialogue known as “mid-century American wiseass”), graduates the academy and is granted a Lens, an object from an ancient mystery civilization, who’s true purpose is unknown.

Lensman Kinnison discovers that the “crime wave” is actually a hostile invasion and assault by a totally alien culture that is based on hierarchy, intolerant of failure, and at the highest level, is ruled by horrifying nightmare things that breathe freezing poison gases. Along the way, he picks up allies, like van Buskirk, a variant human space marine from a heavy gravity planet who can do a standing jump of 20 feet in full space armor, Worsel, a telepathic dragon warrior scientist with the technical improvisation skills of MacGyver (who reads like the most sadistically minmaxed munchkinized RPG character of all time), and Nandreck, a psychologist from a Pluto-like planet of selfish cowards.

The scale of the conflict starts small, just skirmishes with pirates, but explodes to near apocalyptic dimensions. This series has space battles with millions of starships emerging from hyperspacial tubes to attack the ultragood Arisians, homeworld of the first intelligent race in the cosmos. By the end of the fourth book, there are mind battles where the reflected and parried mental beams leave hundreds of innocent bystanders dead. In the meantime we get evil Black Lensmen, the Hell Hole in Space, and superweapons like the Negasphere and the Sunbeam, where an entire solar system was turned into a vacuum tube.

It’s not hard to understand why Lensmen faded in importance. While the alien Lensmen had lively psychologies, Lensman Kimball Kinnison was not an interesting person, and that’s a problem when scifi starts to become more about characterization. The Lensman books, with their love of police and their sexism (it is an explicit plot point that the Lens is incompatible with female minds – in canon there are no female Lensmen) led to it being judged harshly by the New Wave writers of the 1960s, who viewed it all as borderline fascist military-scifi establishment hokum, and the reputation of the series never recovered from the spirit of that decade.

Prisoner of Zenda

Prisoner of Zenda is a novel about a roguish con-man who visits a postage-stamp, charmingly picturesque Central European kingdom with storybook castles, where he finds he looks just like the local king and is forced to pose as him in palace intrigues. It’s a swashbuckling story about mistaken identity, swordfighting, and intrigue, one part swashbuckler and one part dark political thriller.

The popularity of this book predates organized fandom as we know it, so I wonder if “fandom” is even the right word to use. All the same, it inspired fanatical dedication from readers. There was such a popular hunger for it that an entire library could be filled with nothing but rip-offs of Prisoner of Zenda. If you have a favorite writer who was active between 1900-1950, I guarantee he probably wrote at least one Prisoner of Zenda rip-off (which is nearly always the least-read book in his oeuvre). The only novel in the 20th Century that inspired more imitators was Sherlock Holmes. Robert Heinlein and Edmond “Planet Smasher” Hamilton wrote scifi updates of Prisoner of Zenda. Doctor Who lifted the plot wholesale for the Tom Baker era episode, “Androids of Tara,” Futurama did this exact plot too, and even Marvel Comics has its own copy of Ruritania, Doctor Doom’s Kingdom of Latveria. Even as late as the 1980s, every kids’ cartoon did a “Prisoner of Zenda” episode, one of the stock plots alongside “everyone gets hit by a shrink ray” and the Christmas Carol episode.

Prisoner of Zenda imitators were so numerous, that they even have their own Library of Congress sub-heading, of “Ruritanian Romance.” 

One major reason that Prisoner of Zenda fandom died off is that, between World War I and World War II, there was a brutal lack of sympathy for anything that seemed slightly German, and it seems the incredibly Central European Prisoner of Zenda was a casualty of this. Far and away, the largest immigrant group in the United States through the entire 19th Century were Germans, who were more numerous than Irish or Italians. There were entire cities in the Midwest that were two-thirds German-born or German-descent, who met in Biergartens and German community centers that now no longer exist.

Kurt Vonnegut wrote a lot about how the German-American world he grew up in vanished because of the prejudice of the World Wars, and that disappearance was so extensive that it was retroactive, like someone did a DC comic-style continuity reboot where it all never happened: Germans, despite being the largest immigrant group in US history, are left out of the immigrant story. The “Little Bohemias” and “Little Berlins” that were once everywhere no longer exist. There is no holiday dedicated to people of German ancestry in the US, the way the Irish have St. Patrick’s Day or Italians have Columbus Day (there is Von Steuben’s Day, dedicated to a general who fought with George Washington, but it’s a strictly Midwest thing most people outside the region have never heard of, like Sweetest Day). If you’re reading this and you’re an academic, and you’re not sure what to do your dissertation on, try writing about the German-American immigrant world of the 19th and 20th Centuries, because it’s a criminally under-researched topic.

A. Merritt

Pop quiz: who was the most popular and influential fantasy author during the 1930s and 40s? 

If you answered Tolkien or Robert E. Howard, you’re wrong - it was actually Abraham Merritt. He was the most popular writer of his age of the kind of fiction he did, and he’s since been mostly forgotten. Gary Gygax, creator of Dungeons and Dragons, has said that A. Merritt was his favorite fantasy and horror novelist.

Why did A. Merritt and his fandom go away, when at one point, he was THE fantasy author? Well, obviously one big answer was the 1960s counterculture, which brought different writers like Tolkien and Lovecraft to the forefront (by modern standards Lovecraft isn’t a fantasy author, but he was produced by the same early century genre-fluid effluvium that produced Merritt and the rest). The other answer is that A. Merritt was so totally a product of the weird occult speculation of his age that it’s hard to even imagine him clicking with audiences in other eras. His work is based on fringe weirdness that appealed to early 20th Century spiritualism and made sense at the time: reincarnation, racial memory, an obsession with lost race stories and the stone age, and weirdness like the 1920s belief that the Polar Arctic is the ancestral home of the Caucasian race. In other words, it’s impossible to explain Merritt without a ton of sentences that start with “well, people in the 1920s thought that...” That’s not a good sign when it comes to his universality. 

That’s it for now. Do you have any suggestions on a dead fandom, or do you keep one of these “dead” fandoms alive in your heart?

[braxzana]

Hermit Colony

[Caveat:  This is not a post intended to entertain anyone; I have way too much time on my hands and finally figured out how to post instead of just stalk, so feel free to just scroll on past this.  It’s cheaper than a therapist, though, so here I go.]

So there’s a Monty Python sketch where they have a “colony” of hermits.  They each have their own cave and live far apart, and yet they talk as if they’re close neighbors.  I was reminded of that bit during the recent / current pandemic shut-down.

I only half-jokingly refer to myself as a hermit because while I do live within a city and have easily a dozen people within stone’s throw of my house, I do not ~interact~ with them.  I couldn’t name them nor recognize them on the street.  

I have no real friends --- which Steam always reminds me “You have no friends!” --- but again, that’s primarily by choice.  I had acquaintances in high school and after we became (allegedly) adults we would meet up every few years or so for coffee and chat for an hour, but that’s it.  And that’s fine with me; most of my ‘friends’ from back then didn’t enjoy the same things I did, and now they are all married with children and we have even less in common.

[EDIT: Adding a note in here --- as may become apparent soon, I tend to ramble a bit and there’s a rather lengthy build-up to the actual POINT of this post. Sorry about that, if you’re bothering to read.]

I do not have, nor have I ever had, a ‘significant other’.  I dated, if you can call it that, in high school  To be precise, I met a girl at a seventh grade ‘sock hop’ where we were literally thrown together during the dance.  Being a socially awkward nerd at the time (as I remain) the taunts of, “friction makes heat’ just embarrassed me.

We went on two double-dates to the movies and McDonalds afterwards and that’s it.  I lived out of the city at the time, and couldn’t drive into town so there weren’t many opportunities to socialize --- not that I was particularly interested in going to big parties anyway.  We ‘broke up’, or I should say that I was dumped, for someone more demonstrative.

After that ‘relationship’ ended, I had one blind date in my, like, 20s or 30s, where I was set up with a cousin of a co-worker’s wife; it was just about the most horrible experience I have ever endured.  We had exactly zero chemistry, nothing in common and it was just, it was just horrible.  Certainly soured me on blind dates ever after.

My point is, I have had very little experience with relationships.  That never really bothered me too much, either. I’m not asexual, nor a-romantic or anything; I can get quite weepy at sentimental movies and I love a sappy romance that ends well.  My dream scenario is for a tattooed girl with taut muscles to pull me onto her motorcycle and roar into the distance, leaving my boring tie and briefcase rolling in the street (I can’t stand ties or briefcases but for this scene they’re props).

I used to think I was ‘shy’, and I probably was, to some extent, but later in life I learned about Introverts and I was stunned to find out that that was ME.  It’s not that I dislike talking to people, it’s that I get anxious and mentally drained being around a LOT of people, particularly at some kind of formal event.  One on one, or even hanging around the office with a few co-workers, I had no problem chatting.

My core issue boils down to this, I think... I never felt comfortable approaching someone to try to establish a friendship with THAT being the goal.  I could talk to my office-mates because we were all ‘trapped’ there in that environment.   In college, I had no problem talking with my fellow grad students.  There was something to talk about (not just work / school stuff) and I was not trying to get into their pants, to ~impose~ myself in their life.

Because that’s what it felt like --- feels like --- an imposition.  Like, who am I to think this person wants me to know about their life?  Why would they be interested in anything in MY life --- heck, I’m barely interested in my life (I am not suicidal, so please don’t infer that from some of the things I say).

So for the most part I just kept to myself.  And that was fine.  I joked about being  a hermit and people understood I was ‘private’ and didn’t nose around too much in other people’s lives.

Then the pandemic hit.  

Irregular hours at the office turned into me quitting rather than return to regular 5-day-a-week, eight-hour-a-day as if nothing were going on in the world.  My employer was a Trump devotee and this was the final straw for me.  I wasn’t so much worried about dying myself, or hurting anyone else --- I stayed in the back of the office and rarely saw anyone, anyway --- but just the idea that what we did was considered ‘essential’.  All I did was take money from some people, use it to pay some other people, and give the rest to some other people.  I did not consider that ‘essential’.

Point is, I have been unemployed since late April 2020.  I was unemployed for all of 2002 and 2003 so I’m not terribly worried about it --- I have always been frugal and have enough cash on hand to live for twenty months or so before I get in real trouble, and I have a money market account that, depending on the market, could last me anywhere from nine to twenty years.  Catch being, I might live longer that that... and I have no retirement income, there may not BE any Social Security by then (certainly not enough to live on), my medical expenses may be through the roof, etcetc.  Just too many variables.  But for a year, maybe two, I don’t really have to worry... I can take my time and hopefully find a job I can at least tolerate to carry me a few more years before I ‘retire’.

Being home during a pandemic sounds like a dream come true, at first blush.  I don’t have to see people, I can play video games and watch TV all day, I can stay up until 4am, sleep until noon... and it was pretty good, for a while.

I’ve almost always been alone.  But I’ve rarely been Lonely.  Finished all my PC games, all the TV shows are re-runs or I’ve binged new ones in a day or so and run out of new content... that leaves me alone with my thoughts, and that’s never a good thing.

I looked at Match.com --- after twice submitting a profile to eHarmony, they told me they could not find ANY matches for me --- but one photo and a generic “Hiya!” post didn’t tell me anything about the people on the site.  So I went to OKCupid, which is... different.  I’m not here to shill for them, but they have a series of Topics where you can type about yourself, what you’re looking for, etc and they have thousands of questions you can answer which they use to determine matches for you.

These questions are sometimes simple, like, Do You Smoke or Do You Want Kids but they also have some, shall we say, graphic questions.  As I said, I’m not actually shy, just introverted, and with the anonymity of the internet, I  had no problem answering even the questions that would make me blush in person.  Filtering out those with kids, or extreme devotion to religion or those who purposefully said they liked Trump whittled down the pool considerably.  But even so, I reached out to eight or nine people I could see getting to know.

None have replied back.  Granted, during the pandemic, they may have simply abandoned the idea of “social” networks like that, or the 4,000 character intro message I posted immediately turned them off... who knows?  

Long way of saying, I’m still a hermit, and I’ll likely die one, and I’m just putting these thoughts out into the aether as an attempt to reconcile myself to that likely fate.  It would be great if things turned out differently, and I DO nurse that feeble flicker of  hope, but I’m too much of a pragmatic realist to lose myself to the unlikely fantasy.

--- Braxzana... the Hermit.

PS: I’m not looking for advice or critique; I just wanted to get this out of me and look at it external to my brain.  I will not be going to churches or libraries to meet new people or changing who I am JUST to ‘hook up’ with someone.  I want someone who wants me for who I am, and that person may simply not exist, or know I exist.  So I need to work more on being okay with that.

[livefromhouseatlantic]

Chain Breaking, Part 18

This is probably not the end of this series.

I wrote up a summary last time (which I’m actually still adding to as I review my previous posts as well as my IRL journals) partly for ease since this whole thing has gotten a little bigger than I originally envisioned (mission creep, man; it’ll get ya) and I had intended to write more - but I’m kind of tapped out. I’m emotionally and physically bankrupt, at this point. I have very little left that I feel I can give to really anyone at this point. I don’t like feeling this way, it makes me feel somewhat useless. 

Not quite as useless as I have felt in the past, mind you, but still pretty useless. I feel dejected. I’ve been badly hurt, and thus far 2019 has started with a series of (Unfortunate) events that weren’t really all that great for me. In fact - they’ve been exceedingly painful, but what can you do. (As a fun aside, I never really got into Lemony Snicket. I was too old for children’s novels at an early age, I suppose.)

I’m a bookworm. From what my parents tell me, I was reading at one and a half. I don’t really remember that, obviously. I do have memories from two and three, which surprises some people, but I’ve never really talked about them, because they’re fragmented (not in the sense that I’ve been using that word, ha, ha) and there’s not really many of them. I’m sure most people have one or two. Anyway, books have always been a source of solace for me. I can’t remember a time where I wasn’t reading. I progressed fairly rapidly - I went from comic books like Peanuts and Calvin & Hobbes (I used to like to refer to both in subtle ways just to see who picks up on it) to children’s adaptations of classic novels. I think I was eight or nine when I read Huckleberry Finn. Closely thereafter was Tom Sawyer (I read those out of order, funnily enough. Since that mistake I’ve worked very hard never to do it again with any other series), Treasure Island, The Red Badge of Courage, Jekyll and Hyde, Robinson Crusoe, and a host of others. Those are the ones I remember, because I’d re-read them, they were great. I was reading history books (ones designed for kids, simpler language, whatever) by probably nine, at the latest? I always wanted to know more about the world and how it worked. 

I was a weird kid, as a result. Not many ten year olds (or at least none that I met) could have a nuanced conversation about Henry Fleming’s bravery at the battle of Chancellorsville, for instance (that’s Red Badge), or talk about how Nero playing the fiddle while Rome burned was actually believed to be pure fabrication. Or that Napoleon was actually tall for the era that he lived in, and that we remember him as being short thanks to a very successful British propaganda campaign back in the Napoleonic Wars... there weren’t a lot of adults that could really talk about this stuff with me either. They’d always be kind of surprised. I had friends in elementary school, it wasn’t all bad, but for a very long time I felt kind of isolated. I think I wrote this before, but I often preferred the company of adults, because I could ask them questions or just discuss things with them that my peers just weren’t equipped to understand. Friends have told me in the past that the concept of being an “old soul” is a stupid one, and I’ll give you that it sounds way too New Age for my tastes (fucking hippy dippy shit) but the basic idea, yeah, I could get behind it. I’ve lived it for most of my life.

I remember a therapist I had back in 2016 who commented, after a few sessions, that I was very mature for my age. I’ve heard that for as long as I can remember, so the automatic response was “thank you, I get that I lot”.

“I did not say that was a good thing, you know”  - her response rattled me a bit, you can imagine. I was always under the impression maturity was a good thing? I’ve always been taught to be mature?

“It’s not bad that you’re mature, necessarily, it isn’t wrong - but where, I ask myself, is the 25 year old man? Your demeanour and manner of speaking, your mannerisms, all suggest a man much older, mid to late thirties at least. Where is your youth?” - fun fact, before I lost sixty pounds and kept a cleaner shave, people often mistook me for somewhere in my thirties. 

Kidding and funny stories aside, I still don’t really have an answer for that, other than that this is who I am. I don’t consider it a flaw. Maybe it’s a shame, but that’s neither here nor there. I was told years ago that when I was in grade one or something like that, my parents had a series of talks with my elementary school’s administration about putting me into a gifted program. My elementary school, for the sake of the story, was all French, and my parents did not speak the language at the time of my admission. The school wasn’t sure about it, so they administered a series of tests and I had some one-on-one time with the principle and the vice where they spoke to me to figure out if I could handle it mentally. From what I’ve come to understand, the tests were cognitive in some way - I remember doing puzzles and shit, but only barely. And by this time, I’d been in the school for a few years. The administration was in favour of advancement, but they didnb’t have a gifted program (the french school board lacks the student body as well as the funding for that where I’m from, see) so they wanted to move me up a grade or two instead. The only thing that stopped this from happening was my teacher at the time - she was of the opinion that I wouldn’t be able to handle it because of the difference in social skills. Not that I lacked them for my age, other than being shy, I’ve never really had a problem interacting with others; it’s just that I was still a first grader. First grade social skills. She was worried I would be ostracized, or bullied. That came later anyway. Irony’s a bitch. Life’ll Kill Ya. Etc, etc. 

Thinking about that actually never really upset me. It still doesn’t. I sometimes wonder how much different my life would have been - and so in a lot of ways, I’m kind of glad it didn’t happen? Some things suck, yeah. The last few months and the things I’m writing about in this series definitely suck. But there’s been a lot of highlights. To paraphrase something I said recently, I have a lot more love than I do “fuck you” in terms of my attitude in general for the world that I live in. I think of myself as a fairly bitter person, but despite saying that, I don’t really think it’s warped me all that much. When I think of “bitter people”, I think of literary characters, Ebeneezer Scrooge and shit like that. I’m not of that nature, despite my mild dislike of the holiday season. 

The downside of writing these without really planning them out and just going off of what I’m thinking at the time in an effort to be honest is that they kind of go all over the place. With that in mind, I’m going to cut this short and start another entry on a different subject. There’s a Monty Python reference for you - Now for Something Completely Different. It might be up tonight, or I might pass out on the couch. Who really knows any more.

[mrmichaelchadler]

Thumbnails 8/15/18

Thumbnails is a roundup of brief excerpts to introduce you to articles from other websites that we found interesting and exciting. We provide links to the original sources for you to read in their entirety.—Chaz Ebert

1. 

"Austin Pendleton and Ann Whitney on 'Calumet'": The two brilliant veterans of stage and screen chat with me at Indie Outlook about various highlights from their extraordinary careers, including Alex Thompson's wonderful short film, "Calumet," which will screen in Chicago next week.

“[Indie Outlook:] ‘What I love about Stephen Cone [and Alex Thompson]’s work is it’s so much about the pauses between words. What is left unsaid is often most revealing.’ [Pendleton:] ‘That’s very well put, and not everyone who writes screenplays really writes like that. When there’s unstated personal stuff about a character, I find it productive to leave that to the actor and not probe them about it. Part of the potency of an actor’s performance is the privacy of it. If there is a part of a character that is mysterious, the actor is obviously going to their own understanding of things to define it. If an actor asks me questions when I’m directing, I’ll try to answer them, but I also say, ‘Look, if this doesn’t work for you, try something else.’ An actor can draw upon something that is actually from their own life, or they can imagine themselves in the situation of their character. If their imagination is evocative enough, it will work for them, but it’s definitely not the director’s job to interfere with any of that. All the director says is, ‘Here’s what I want you to do,’ and then sometimes if it keeps not working, you will say to the actor, ‘Whatever you are using for this from your own life or your own imagination doesn’t seem to be working for you. So let’s talk about the scene.’ Perhaps I will say something about the scene that will encourage you to go to something else in your life or your imagination. What a director should not do is try to be included in that privacy.’”

2. 

"Keeping Up with Hugh Grant": An excellent analysis of the celebrated actor's versatility, courtesy of Martha P. Nochimson at Eye on Media.

“Ironically, ‘A Very English Scandal’ is, in many ways, ‘Florence Foster Jenkins’ seen through a glass darkly. There are small superficial similarities between the performative pretensions of Jeremy Thorpe and those of St. Claire. St. Claire calls Florence ‘bunny,’ and Thorpe uses the same pet name for Norman. Since the term of endearment was a key word in incriminating letters written by the historical Thorpe, it is impossible that this is anything but a nice coincidence. Thorpe’s linguistic mannerisms, however, may not be. They are similar to St. Claire’s, particularly his playful affectation of pronouncing ‘very, very’ as ‘veddy, veddy,’ and may well be Grant’s invention, and may well signal that he understood the ironic echoes of St. Claire in Thorpe. It is also ironic that Ben Whishaw plays both Paddington Bear to Grant’s predatory Phoenix Buchannan, and Norman Josiffe/Scott to the predatory Thorpe. Much more crucially, despite the serious under and over tones of both films, there is a comic spirit of absurdity that surges through both of them. The shrieks that Florence emits when she opens her mouth to sing, her manic passion for potato salad, and her impenetrable naiveté about her life in the face of all evidence is impossible to witness without laughing out loud at the same time that her plight touches us. Similarly, the comic timing of Thorpe’s homosexual seduction of Norman and his Monty Python-like effortless reversal into homicidal mode when he runs out of ways to silence his male lover leave us chuckling at the sheer calculation of the former and easy bloodlust of the latter.”

3.

"The Score-Only Version of 'Star Wars: The Last Jedi' is a Revelation": According to the ever-reliable Jim Hemphill at The Talkhouse.

“This special feature is exactly what the description promises, an edition of ‘The Last Jedi’ stripped of all its dialogue and sound effects, accompanied only by John Williams’ score. Based on Johnson’s tweets about the release, he wanted to put out this version so that people could fully appreciate the breadth and depth of Williams’ music, which is indeed awe-inspiring – no mere pastiche of his previous work in the series but, like the film it supports, a stunningly inventive leap forward that honors the earlier films while moving the saga in surprising, gratifying directions. Yet the ‘silent’ edition of ‘The Last Jedi’ is far more than a tribute to Williams’ talent; by removing the dialogue and sound effects, Johnson has given his film a newfound purity in which all of its big ideas having to do with memory, legacy, regret and hope are amplified and made more intellectually and emotionally penetrating. He’s also transformed it into an entirely new movie that has different pleasures and more poignancy than the theatrical version while retaining most of what made that movie great. In this sense, the relationship the score-only version of ‘The Last Jedi’ has to the original is similar to the relationship between ‘The Last Jedi’ and the previous films in the franchise.”

4. 

"Why Parkland survivors David and Lauren Hogg brought their activism to a book": In conversation with Ebert Fellow Joseph Longo at Entertainment Weekly.

“[David:] ‘I think what made me want to talk about it was realizing the [bias] that me and all my friends have got — because we’re a bunch of essentially privileged white kids — from the media. This has been happening in communities of color, been happening in Native American and poor communities for centuries. Think about it. The first mass shooting was Wounded Knee, if you really want to think about it that way. This has been happening for centuries in these communities, and now just because it’s a bunch of rich white kids that are being shot, we have to care about it? I think that we have to take an intersectional approach, because not being intersectional is what’s gotten us to this point. We have to be intersectional to end it here. I hope that people understand in different communities — like in Chicago on the South Side, or in Ferguson, Missouri, or in Liberty City, or in inner-city D.C. — we can’t tell people how we’re going to help them if we haven’t lived through it. We have to listen and understand and empathize with them. That’s what I hope people learn from this book — how to feel empathy for other people and understand that the way to help others that haven’t experienced, for example, gun violence the way that you have or ever experienced gun violence. Ask the people that are affected how you can help them and what you can do. Don’t say you’re sorry. Say, ‘I’m fighting for you. I’m here, and I will be voting on this issue to end it, so that I’m not affected by this and nobody else is.’’”

5. 

"The Problem with Seeking the Best for Your Kids": As observed by Courtney M. Martin of On Being.

“So where does a parent like me, someone at an ethical crossroads in a time of racial and class upheaval, look for guidance? I don’t read a lot of parenting books. When I finally get my girls to sleep, all I want to do is read about childless women on daring adventures. But in a fit of desperation following one of my older daughter’s tantrums, I did order a stack of them. Sometimes I’ll pull one off the shelf and search for some insight. Almost without an exception, they are completely devoid of any discussions of the ethics of parenting, beyond the virtues of raising an empathic, nonviolent child (which does poor kids, socially segregated from your peaceful, compassionate kid a whole hell of a lot of good, it seems to me.) There isn’t even a stack of books to order and fail to read when it comes to my aspiration to parent in a way that actually challenges structural inequality. There are books on anti-racist parenting, most of which are painful to read. They feature endless lists of questions for self-reflection — ‘What are all my reference-group identities (race, ethnicity, national or regional origin of family ancestors, religion, gender, political affiliations, economic class, sexual orientation, ableness)? What does each mean to me? Which ones have most affected me at different points in my life?’ This barrage of broad and overwhelming questions appears to be a hallmark of books aimed at white people fumbling to think and talk about race. I understand the authors’ intent — of course we can’t challenge structural racism if we haven’t scraped the scales from our own eyes while looking at our own lives. But that scraping, it seems to me, is never going to be inspired or internalized by a bulleted list.”

Image of the Day

Jay Jones of The Los Angeles Times unearths the mysteries of Egypt, as portrayed in Cecil B. DeMille's 1923 version of "The Ten Commandments," in the dunes of the California Coast (including the sphinx head pictured above).

Video of the Day

With ailing legend Aretha Franklin at the forefront of our thoughts, let's take a look back at her show-stopping performance at the Kennedy Center from three years ago, where she reduced President Obama to tears with her rendition of "(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman," sung in honor of Carole King.

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[dorothyd89]

The 10 Key Differences Between Weight Loss Success and Failure

“NEW YEAR, NEW YOU!” 

At some point in the past two days, you probably said something like the following:

“Alright, time to lose this gut. “

“This year I’m gonna tone these arms and fix these love handles.”

“Holy crap I really let myself go. Is that Cheeto dust…on my forehead? Yikes.”

And thus, we begin our search for the promised land of effortless, enjoyable weight loss:

We want that one workout that scientists hate that finally melts the fat off our midsections and makes us look like Wonder Woman.

We gorge on acai bowls and omega-3 supplements and get excited about the latest article that says red wine is a health food as we polish off another bottle.

We go through a series of follies in search of a get-fit-quick fantasy that never actually comes to fruition, like Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Reality paints a much different picture:

A flat stomach doesn’t come in a bottle or in a workout DVD.

It comes from boring consistent action over months and years. Gross.

I have seen tens of thousands of people collectively lose millions of pounds since I started Nerd Fitness almost a decade ago.

At the same time, I have also seen hundreds of thousands of people chase the latest health fad, lose a few pounds, and end up a year later right back where they started. Every year, I have seen packed gyms in January become ghost towns in February.

No wonder a 2016 British study declared, “We’re doomed to stay fat.”[1]

So what gives?

This year, what will separate the people who make new years resolutions and STICK with them, and those that give up after a few weeks?

With over 40,000 students in our flagship online course, the Nerd Fitness Academy, 150 1-on-1 coaching clients, and 10 years with thousands of emails and success stories, I created this monster resource that dives deep into the key habits that will actually help you get in shape this year.

Here are the 10 key strategies that separate the Healthy from the Unhealthy – start doing these things today and you’ll actually make progress that lasts:

1. have a Growth Mindset.

Your mom was right: you are a unique snowflake.

That means there are ton of things that affect why you’ve gained weight over the past decade(s) and why you struggle to lose it:

Genetics

Age

Gender

Stress level

Home environment

Mental health

Activity level

Nutrition

All of these things play a factor in what you look like and how healthy you are. Despite these various factors, I’ve seen a common thread in people who build healthy habits and stick with them:

A Growth mindset.

Let’s get nerdy for a second (you’re reading Nerd Fitness after all). I assume you’re familiar with Groot, the tree-like superhero from Guardians of the Galaxy. He can grow and change his shape to suit the situation. He also only says, “I am Groot,” but that’s less applicable here.

HOW TO BUILD A MINDSET LIKE GROOT:

Unhealthy Person: “I have bad genetics. My parents are overweight. I am busy. I have children. I have a slow metabolism. I’m never going to be able to lose weight. This plan won’t work for me because [excuse to let myself off the hook]. I’m the fat guy/gal and that’s all there is to it.”

Habit Building Badass: “I have bad genetics. My parents are overweight. I am busy. I have children. Soooo….How can I make this work for me in my situation? I know people like me who have lost weight, which is a great sign. I refuse to accept that I am a lost cause. I am Groot.”

Even if it isn’t your fault where you are, accept that it’s your personal responsibility to deal with it.

We all have emotional, visceral responses to what we see in the mirror or how we feel when we wake up. We need to cut through the emotion and get to the truth: we alone are responsible for our fate, and that means we alone can fix it.

Like Groot, you can change and grow.

You’ll learn that your excuses are moot – if busier, older, fatter, poorer, and more injured people than you can get in shape, you can too.

So, decide TODAY that this year that you are a“a healthy, habit-building badass” and then simply do the things that perpetually healthy nerds do. With each meal or each decision, ask yourself “what would a healthy person do?” And then do that.

2. know Your “Big Why”.

The road to perpetual weight loss and healthiness is fraught with peril.

Even the best-laid plans and New Years Resolutions will end up in a ditch on the side of the road unless you have a damn good reason.

After all, life gets busy and it’s Taco Tuesday and a new video game just came out and your kid is sick and you just don’t feel like exercising and it’s cold. There will ALWAYS be something.

You will never not be busy.

That perseverance will from a damn good answer to the question: “Why?”

Not just “Because I need to lose weight,” but two levels deeper: WHY you want to lose weight. That’s the motivation and answer you need to be reminded of to persevere over the next few months.

If your answer is: “I’m here because my doctor/wife/husband thinks I should lose weight. I know I should exercise more and do more.” you are doomed. You will give up at the first sign of adversity.

Compare this to the raw, deep, honest answers we get from Nerd Fitness Academy members when we ask about their “Big WHY”:

“I’m here because my dad died of a heart attack at age 45, and I don’t want my kids growing up without a father like I did.”

“I’m here because I want my husband/wife to look at me the way he/she used to, and I want us to grow old together.”

“I’m here because I just got dumped and I want to get healthy so I can start dating again. I don’t want people swiping left on my photos anymore.”

“I’m here because I want to look in the mirror and be proud of what I see. I want to stop hiding behind others in photographs.”

Why are you here? Why do you want to build healthy habits?

Is your reason for being here more important to you than cake? If it isn’t, you’re gonna give up at the first sign of adversity.

Write down your Great Big Why – and go deep, my friend. Way down. And ask yourself “Why?” to the answer of each of your questions until you get to the root of your reason for being here.

Once you write that answer down, hang it up somewhere you can see it every day: fridge, cubicle, bathroom mirror. Accept responsibility for your current situation, be compassionate, and also accept that you CAN change, and your identity can change with small wins that prove it.

3. don’t go on a diet. adjust Your nutrition.

Perpetually unhealthy people have a love/hate relationship with diets.

Mostly hate.

They go on diets all the time – especially in early January, and then they go off diets. And then they go on another diet. And then they find another diet that’s supposed to promise even faster, easier weight loss, so they switch to that one.

Unhealthy people get dieting wrong from the start, and this is what dooms them.

Unhealthy people go on a diet for a month or two, and they can’t wait to go back to “eating normally.” The problem is that their “eating normally” is the reason why they’re overweight in the first place.

Temporary changes to one’s eating results in temporary changes to one’s weight and physique.

Like an addict chasing the next high, somebody consistently has to chase the next diet because their normal eating is the problem in the first place!

And yup, dieting sucks.

Starvation, eliminating favorite foods, and trying to use willpower to avoid candy and sweets is a terrible strategy, so stop doing it.

No wonder people abandon diets as soon as they start them; they think, “If this is what it takes to be skinny, I’d rather stay fat and happy.”

This year, never go on a diet ever again.

Instead, come to terms with this: “My concept of ‘normal eating’ is broken, which means it needs to change permanently in order for me to get healthy.”

Think about that for a second.

If you “never get to be done” with your nutrition, and you can’t go back to how you were eating before, then the ONLY way permanent success happens is if you actually enjoy your new “normal.”

Stop going on diets!

No more diet pills, cleanses or crazy 30-day strategies.

Nothing you do can be temporary, or the results will be temporary.

Instead you are going to make deliberate, incremental permanent changes to your daily nutrition, slowly, over a period of many months.

Eat to line up with your goals.

If you are afraid of giving up something, don’t! Make the unhealthy foods more of a treat and less of a daily indulgence:

If giving up soda forever is scary, slowly cut back from 12 a day down to one a day.

If giving up pasta forever sounds like a life not worth living, learn about portion sizes and make it an experience (only at restaurants, for example).

The same goes for diet pills and supplements – Supplements cannot replace a good nutrition strategy.

When you think about getting healthy this year, think in terms of days and years, not weeks and months:

Know that it took years for you to get to your current physique, and it’s going to take months if not years to correct it. This means you HAVE to enjoy the journey.

Once you accept that you never get to be “done,” you can start picking small adjustments or changes that won’t scare you away from adhering to your plan.

4.know what’s in the food You eat.

Did you know that when it comes to weight loss, your nutrition choices will account for 90% of your success or failure?

In the Nerd Fitness Rebellion, we refer to this as the “you can’t outrun your fork” rule.

Seriously. 90+ PERCENT of the equation. 

Tattoo this on your forehead. Hire somebody to skywrite it above your home every day. Pay somebody to call you every morning and remind you of this fact.

Whatever it takes to get you to realize that changing your eating habits will be the fastest (and only) path to weight loss in 2018.

And it starts by educating yourself about your food.

Make a habit of knowing what’s in the food you eat! 

Whether it’s portion control, calorie counting, tracking macros, or even keeping a food journal, it’s important to have rough idea of the nutritional breakdown of the food you consume regularly.

After all, GI Joe tells us that “Knowing is half the battle!”

The other half is lasers:

With each meal tracked, this habits adds up to knowing what needs to happen every day for you to get healthy.

Sugar is a big culprit in spiking insulin and thus contributes to making waistlines larger, which means checking the labels on the foods you’re consuming for sugar is a great habit to get into.

Speaking of sugar, let’s see a common pitfall you can start to avoid. Here are two different beverages:

Coca-Cola (20 oz): 240 calories, 65 g of carbs (65 g of sugar)

Naked Juice Green Machine (15 oz): 270 calories, 63 g of carbs (55 g of sugar)

Look at those two things above: one is a can of cola that you know is bad for you, the other is marketed as a “healthy beverage.”

They’re both terrible for you!

Don’t fall for the hype: read the label, and break free of the Matrix!

Learn about the food you’re eating. You’re an adult, you can take 3 minutes and Google it.

Once you know the composition of your meals, you can start to make subtle adjustments or change quantities over time as you start to approach a healthier weight.

Be okay with “good enough” to start, and get more accurate as time goes on.

What’s that? You don’t know how to eat healthy? I got you, boo: “A beginner’s guide to healthy eating.”

For each food, learn the following:

Total calories

Serving size

Fat

Protein

Carbs (especially sugar)

Don’t overthink this: Write down what you eat every day for a week. If your weight isn’t changing, adjust down total calories and minimize sugar consumption and see how your weight changes.

Make small adjustments over time and see how your body responds.

Speaking of goals…

5. use Blueprints and Blocks to Create Goals.

Perpetually unhealthy people say things like “I’m going to exercise more this year!”

Goals like this are cloudy with no real markers of success.

With no beacon guiding them, perpetually unhealthy people don’t know if they’re on track, and there’s no accountability if they don’t succeed. These goals get tossed in the abandoned pile next to goals like “I’m gonna start flossing!”

Compare this to what you’re going to do in 2018:

Pick a reachable blueprint to follow: an outcome-based goal.

Place the blocks to build that blueprint: a habit-based goal.

Let’s see this in action: “I want to lose X amount of weight by X date.”

With a very specific goal and a specific timeline, we can work backwards to calculate how much weight we need to lose each week to build that blueprint: our target weight.

Once you know where you want to be a year from now – you can then just focus on what you need to do TODAY.

Want to lose 50 pounds by the end of the year?

That’s one pound per week. And that can happen by making a single change today and every day moving forward.

Focusing on the habit (“today I’m going to drink only one soda instead of 3, and have one vegetable”) allows you to not get overwhelmed at the big picture.

In Minecraft terms, once you have the blueprints for a replica of Rivendell from Lord of the Rings, all you have to focus on is placing the next block in the right place. And then repeat!

Eventually, you’ll have Rivendell:

Here’s a real-life example of this block-placing mentality:

“My goal is to reach my goal weight of 150 pounds by December 1st, 2018, so I will eat one vegetable every day, and I will strength train for 30 minutes, two days per week. On other days, I’ll go for a 10 minute walk.”

What happens when you do this: you stop worrying about the outcome, and instead JUST focus on the habit you have to do today.

It allows you to very easily answer the question: “Yes I placed the block” or “no I did not place the block.”

You either ate a vegetable today or you didn’t.

You either exercised for 30 minutes today or you didn’t.

Make sure you are picking a blueprint that you can build (it’s not overly optimistic), and keep things simple. A target weight loss goal of 1 pound per week is reasonable and sustainable. Remember that the focus should be on SUSTAINABLE progress – not “progress at any cost.”

Once you start reaching goals you can create more complex plans.

Or in fantasy terms, after you finally slay the dragon, go find a bigger one!

6. You don’t HAVE to exercise, You GET to exercise.

Unhealthy people treat exercise as a miserable means to an end: “I’ll exercise until I reach my goal weight and then I can stop this exercise stuff and go back to what I was doing before.”

Temporary changes, miserable strategy, temporary results… sound familiar?

They run on a treadmill because they think they should, but they hate it, and they never want to go back. Or they get dragged to a class with a friend and the class ruins fitness for them.

They do their best to build the habit, but they’re so unhappy and unexcited about the exercise that the habit never sticks.

Look, here’s the truth: “exercise” sucks.

So you’re going to stop doing “exercise.”

I’ve heard from Nerd Fitness Academy members time and time again: “I can’t believe it, but I actually look forward to exercising now. How did THAT happen?”

What’s going on here?

Because nutrition is 90% of the battle, building a habit of exercise and movement is more important than what specific type of exercise you choose:

adult gymnastics

swing dancing

ultimate frisbee

martial arts

hiking (or even just walking!)

strength training.

Whatever gets you off your ass and out the door. If there’s a type of exercise they HATE…don’t do it.

You don’t have to exercise in a way that you hate.

Pick the kind of exercise that makes you come alive. Don’t have that form of exercise yet? Try new things!

Especially the stuff that doesn’t feel like exercise.

Nutrition is 90% of the battle, so the exercise can be something that you enjoy, that reminds you to make better food choices so your efforts don’t go to waste.

Desperate to lose weight faster? In addition to fixing your nutrition, try temptation bundling to get you to go to the gym.

Have a specific physique in mind (six pack, toned arms, a better butt, broader chest, etc.)? Build the body you want and get hooked on improvement: “I can’t wait to go to the gym and find out how much stronger I got today compared to last week.”

You are a video game character increasing your strength attribute with each training session.

7. They invest in their health like a 401(k).

When it comes down to our health, we can invest in three ways:

Our Time

Our Effort

Our Money

Healthy habit-building badasses know this and prioritize accordingly: they know investing in their health is the best decision they can make. So they decide what’s the correct balance of time, effort, and money to use for that investment.

Your health is an investment just like your net worth:

If you want to devote your effort and time to building your own workouts, crafting your own meal plans, and keeping yourself accountable, that’s awesome. I did this for myself for years.

You might decide to outsource your programming to a coach, recruit an accountability partner, or buy into a program that creates your workouts and nutrition for you.

Either way, this is a months or years-long process that requires discipline! Every day you get a tiny bit better compounds upon the day before and builds you a big nestegg (read: a great physique) that will keep you wealthy (read: healthy) for decades and decades.

We’ve had thousands of people who read all the free content on Nerd Fitness for years with no results, because they never invested in themselves.

However the second they finally invested in The Nerd Fitness Academy or joined Rising Heroes (our monthly habit building adventure) or hired a 1-on-1 coach, they took action and lost weight within months.

Why?

Because we VALUE what we pay for and invest in, making us more likely to actually do the damn thing. And we don’t value what we get for free or take for granted.

Unhealthy people don’t look at all of this stuff rationally – they complain about spending 99 cents on an iPhone app that could dramatically improve the quality of their life, and then gladly spend $6 on a sugary Starbucks beverage each morning without a second thought.

People email me all the time asking “Why should I pay for a course when there is free information online.” Welp, there has been free information online for decades – has it gotten you in shape yet? Maybe there’s a point to investing in yourself!

Your money, your time, and your effort are all limited resources: how you choose to spend each of them tells me a lot about your priorities.

Personally, I gladly pay hundreds of dollars every month for my own online fitness coach.

Many probably think I’m crazy and that this is a waste of money (“just do your own workouts!”), but I feel that it’s the best money I spend every month, and it’s why I’ve prioritized it over other expenses.

I’m not just paying for a workout plan in an excel document.

I am paying for accountability from somebody who is checking in on me, expertise from a trained professional who can spot my weaknesses, and the knowledge that I’ll actually do the workout because I’m spending my hard-earned money on it.

And it got me the results that had eluded me for a decade.

It’s not what you say is a priority, it’s what you spend your time or money on that’s a priority.

Prioritize your money and time on the best stuff, even at the expense of other creature comforts, and you’re more likely to get in shape because you’ll actually care about it.

Answer these questions:

How much money do you spend on your health?

How much time and effort do you devote to creating your workouts or fine-tuning your nutrition?

Have you ever hired a coach or paid for an online course

Do you buy apps or software that make your life easier, or do you try to get by with free stuff that you know you won’t actually use?

Sometimes spending money is the best investment you can make in yourself – because you KNOW that the free option is something you won’t stick with! 

Although you have a free gym in your apartment complex, pay money to join a gym near work with fitness classes, because you hate working out alone and if you know people are counting on you to show up.

Pre-pay for 20 trainer sessions – if you’ve already paid for it and scheduled the workouts, you’ll actually GO.

On vacation and afraid you’ll backslide on all habits? Pay $20-30 to just go to a gym for one hour on vacation. Expensive? Not when you compare it to the weeks spent after the vacation trying to get back on track.

Decide what to sacrifice. It might mean you have to skip movies out or cancel your cable to prioritize a healthy meal service or buy more cookbooks so you never get bored with cooking new healthy meals.

Start thinking about this from a different perspective:

You’re not buying a fitness course or a trainer or an overpriced salad (that you would never make for yourself anyways).

You’re not just hiring a coach that prescribes you a workout that you could have found for free on the internet.

You’re investing in your future and purchasing accountability and expertise and momentum.

And NEVER underestimate momentum.

8. Go All In On Momentum.

Remember that Isaac Newton guy?

“An object at rest tends to stay at rest, and an object in motion tends to stay in motion, unless acted on by another force.”

This is called “inertia,” and nothing could be more applicable when it comes to your health.

Unhealthy people have a LOT of inertia to overcome when they are trying to build healthy habits and get in shape:

Their body is used to sitting on a couch and eating junk food, which means the habit of exercise is agonizing. They have to convince themselves to get off the couch and go out into the wilderness. Eating vegetables and healthy food sucks compared to their normal comfort food.

But they use max effort to do these things a few times, and momentum starts to shift away from unhealthy and towards healthy.

And that’s when things fall apart.

Their kid gets sick or they work late and they miss a workout. Not the end of the world, right? But then it snows the next day, and one missed workout day becomes two, which becomes a month in the blink of an eye.

And shit, they’re back to square one.

We are going to focus instead on cultivating and protecting  your momentum. Invest their time and money in momentum-building or momentum-protecting products or services.

Shit happens. Travel. Vacation. Kids. Work. Life.

So they focus on doing whatever they can to build momentum quickly and maintain it.

Perpetual health doesn’t happen in days, or with a few decisions. It takes months (or more likely, years) of consistent effort.

It’s more than just “missing a workout.” It’s killing your momentum, and momentum is crucial to long term healthiness.

Momentum is crucial to being perpetually healthy, so protect it with your life.

So, focus on momentum until their default behavior is healthy and they can go on autopilot:

Exercise 4 days per week without fail. Yes, even on vacation. Yup, even if it’s only push-ups for 5 minutes.

Go for a morning walk every single day, even when it’s snowing.

Schedule workouts for early Saturday morning with a trainer so they know they can’t drink like a fish on Friday night.

Put your workouts in your calendar. Have your friend give $50 of your money to a cause you hate every time you miss a workout.

Because momentum.

Which means you should be following my favorite rule: never miss two in a row.

Two missed workouts quickly becomes 30 in the blink of an eye. Two bad meals quickly becomes a week of pizza and Chinese food.

Live by the “never two in a row,” and build momentum with daily goals.

9. know Your Kryptonite.

I want to share an important quote from the late, great physicist Richard Feynman:

“The first principle is that you must not fool yourself – and you are the easiest person to fool.”

Unhealthy people might be aware of their Kryptonite, but they just hope and pray they have enough willpower to overcome it every day.

They eat a single Oreo, and then spend an hour thinking about cookies until they go eat a whole sleeve of Oreo cookies and then berate themselves for not having more willpower to avoid the temptation.

The truth is that we are all flawed superheroes.

Unhealthy people try to fix their flaws through sheer willpower and then feel deep shame when they can’t stop their behavior.

Permanently healthy people recognize their Kryptonite, and have a plan to avoid or protect against it:

If they know grains make them unhappy and bloated, they follow a Paleo diet and remove those foods completely so there’s no attempt to only eat half a serving of something.

If they know they struggle with portion control, then maybe they try skipping a meal with Intermittent Fasting.

They also ask the questions that get to the heart of their Kryptonite with regards to weight gain:

Maybe they eat when they’re bored.

Maybe they eat when they’re upset.

Maybe they eat when they’re nervous.

Maybe they eat when they’re watching TV.

They KNOW these things about themselves, and they know unhealthy food has been designed to be addictive.

So they plan for it!

Know thyself, my dear friend, and know what your triggers are.

We’re all flawed; plan for your flaws instead of trying to fight them. These triggers can be environmental or situational or emotional. Know it will happen, and build a Kryptonite-proof plan so you don’t have to worry about avoiding it.

Stop relying on motivation and willpower to tackle your Kryptonite.

Add accountability, punishments, and rewards into your life to stay on track and avoid your Kryptonite:

Check in with someone everyday to make sure they ate their vegetables.

Instruct your friend to donate your $50 to a politician you hate if you miss a workout check-in.

Reward yourself with new running shoes (a reward that rewards you back with more momentum) if you complete 20 runs in a single month.

Don’t go to certain bars or make sure you eat before going to a party, because you KNOW you’ll make a bad decision once you get there.

Build your batcave (your environment) so it’s tougher to make unhealthy decisions and easier to make healthy ones.

Don’t go out to dinner at unhealthy restaurants, and schedule early workouts on Saturdays so you won’t drink yourself silly on Friday.

You don’t need to be flawless. You don’t need a perfect plan. What you do need is to have an honest conversation with yourself about things you need to avoid while you’re trying to make healthier choices.

That might be certain restaurants, certain aisles of the supermarket, or even certain people….

10. Your are surrounded by supporters, not anchors

You are the average of the 5 people you associate most with.

Are they banana peels?

Or are they Lakitus?

Banana peels need no introduction: drive over one in Mario Kart and they’ll ruin a perfectly good race by crushing all of your momentum.

Compare that to Lakitu. If you’re not familiar, he’s the little guy on the cloud in mario Kart that picks you up when you fall off the track and puts you back on course.

Unhealthy people get spun out all the time by the banana peels in their lives:

“What do you mean you don’t want to eat my lasagna anymore? You love my cooking.”

“Everybody is coming over to play D&D and eat pizza, you can’t miss this.”

“You don’t need to lose weight. You look fine. Live a little. Come on.”

Questions and comments like these subtly influence our behavior every day. Which is how you end up looking like and acting like the 5 people you associate most with. 

Compare this to Lakitus: the people who want you to succeed, who hold you accountable and make you want to be better.

I recently asked our private men’s community from the Nerd Fitness Academy what the group meant to them.

This response jumped out at me:

You need to be surrounded by people that pick you up, not slow you down.

Healthy people know this, and they make the hard decisions about who is worthy of their time and attention.

They often fire their unhealthy friends and family – even if only temporarily – because they can’t be around negative influence as they’re trying to build momentum.

I’ve heard of tons of stories where unhealthy relationships have ended because a newly healthy individual was dating an unhealthy person who didn’t want them to be healthy and was actively sabotaging them.

Why does this happen? Because it’s often easier to drag other people down than it is to look honestly in the mirror and address one’s shortcomings or unhealthy. 

If you are trying to get healthy, minimize your time around banana peels and MAXIMIZE your time with Lakitus.

You are influenced dramatically by the people around you whether you realize it or not. How are these people influencing you?

Take exercise:

Banana Peel: You want to exercise, but your friends are mad at you for skipping a Destiny 2 or World of Warcraft raid… you’re going to skip the workout.

Lakitu: You want to exercise, and your friends are at the gym counting on you for a team workout… you’re gonna get your ass to the gym!

Food:

Banana Peel: You are out to dinner with friends and they order lasagna, chicken fingers and fries, a large pizza, and enchiladas. You’ll likely order junk food to fit in, rather than order a salad and endure their scorn.

Lakitu: You are at a healthy restaurant and all 4 people order salads before you order – I’d bet $1000 you’re going to order something healthy too.

Mental health:

Banana Peel: You have 5 friends who never talk about anything serious: how are you supposed to tell them about your depression medication or that you’re thinking about going to see a therapist?

Lakitu: You have 5 friends who are not only accepting of your flaws, but share theirs too and have advice for you.

Decide who is worthy of your attention, and work on putting yourself in situations with people who make you want to be better.

This might mean a serious conversation with your significant other that “likes you more full-figured” if your goal is to be healthier and happier.

Or diving deep into deflection strategies if you have to constantly deal with unhealthy family members you can’t fire.

If they are worth your time, they will change their tune to be more supportive and helpful and less of an anchor.

And then start spending time around people who are stronger, healthier, happier, and more successful than you. And do what they do.

Use 20 seconds of courage to strike up a conversation with someone at the gym on how to do a certain exercise, and make plans to train together the next day.

Join a running club at work, or start a running club if one doesn’t exist yet.

If you don’t have people in real life cheering them on, find an online group that pushes them to be better.

How is 2018 Going to Be Different?

Phew! Okay, let’s see how many of these you can actually check off:

I have a Growth Mindset

I know my Big Why

I don’t go on diets. I adjust my nutrition.

I know what my food is made of.

I have blueprints and blocks.

I don’t have to exercise; I GET to.

I invest in my health like a 401(k).

I go all in on momentum.

I know my Kryptonite.

I seek out Lakitus, not banana peels.

Give yourself a score, and let me know which ones are the toughest for you to follow through on.

If you checked 6 or fewer boxes, pick ONE of the habits and work on it for the next month. Internalize it. Make it part of your new identity. And then move onto the next one.

You’re overcoming inertia and building momentum!

And NEVER underestimate momentum.

Agree with the list? Disagree?

Did I leave one off?

Leave that in the comments too!

Also, congratulations, you just finished the longest article in the history of Nerd Fitness – give yourself a high five.

-Steve

PS: If you are somebody that is interested in investing in their health right now, these are the three paths available to this community:

Join the Nerd Fitness Academy – a one time fee for lifetime access. Follow the workout plans, adjust your mental attitude, follow our 10 level diet system and have a private community to support you.

Hire a Nerd Fitness Coach – expert accountability, Yoda-like guidance, and handcrafted workout and nutrition plans based on your specific life situation.

Check out Rising Heroes – our monthly team-based story driven adventure. Get new real-world missions each week that make you healthier and help us take down a sinister shadow organization.

If you are looking to invest in yourself, I hope to see you in one of these programs!

photo credit: Reiterlied Rex across the fields, Meeting Star Lord and Baby Groot, benjaminreay Big question mark, Mark Bonica Paleo Diet – Day 14, clement127 Chicken factory, post-apocalyptic research institute 3mm model, sualk61 Hamster wheel, evoo73 balance, hjl Kryptonite on Blue, Reiterlied Biking on the Lake

Footnotes    ( returns to text)

You can read the article about the study here: source

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[kiaradnoblesus]

The 10 Key Differences Between Weight Loss Success and Failure

“NEW YEAR, NEW YOU!” 

At some point in the past two days, you probably said something like the following:

“Alright, time to lose this gut. “

“This year I’m gonna tone these arms and fix these love handles.”

“Holy crap I really let myself go. Is that Cheeto dust…on my forehead? Yikes.”

And thus, we begin our search for the promised land of effortless, enjoyable weight loss:

We want that one workout that scientists hate that finally melts the fat off our midsections and makes us look like Wonder Woman.

We gorge on acai bowls and omega-3 supplements and get excited about the latest article that says red wine is a health food as we polish off another bottle.

We go through a series of follies in search of a get-fit-quick fantasy that never actually comes to fruition, like Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Reality paints a much different picture:

A flat stomach doesn’t come in a bottle or in a workout DVD.

It comes from boring consistent action over months and years. Gross.

I have seen tens of thousands of people collectively lose millions of pounds since I started Nerd Fitness almost a decade ago.

At the same time, I have also seen hundreds of thousands of people chase the latest health fad, lose a few pounds, and end up a year later right back where they started. Every year, I have seen packed gyms in January become ghost towns in February.

No wonder a 2016 British study declared, “We’re doomed to stay fat.”[1]

So what gives?

This year, what will separate the people who make new years resolutions and STICK with them, and those that give up after a few weeks?

With over 40,000 students in our flagship online course, the Nerd Fitness Academy, 150 1-on-1 coaching clients, and 10 years with thousands of emails and success stories, I created this monster resource that dives deep into the key habits that will actually help you get in shape this year.

Here are the 10 key strategies that separate the Healthy from the Unhealthy – start doing these things today and you’ll actually make progress that lasts:

1. have a Growth Mindset.

Your mom was right: you are a unique snowflake.

That means there are ton of things that affect why you’ve gained weight over the past decade(s) and why you struggle to lose it:

Genetics

Age

Gender

Stress level

Home environment

Mental health

Activity level

Nutrition

All of these things play a factor in what you look like and how healthy you are. Despite these various factors, I’ve seen a common thread in people who build healthy habits and stick with them:

A Growth mindset.

Let’s get nerdy for a second (you’re reading Nerd Fitness after all). I assume you’re familiar with Groot, the tree-like superhero from Guardians of the Galaxy. He can grow and change his shape to suit the situation. He also only says, “I am Groot,” but that’s less applicable here.

HOW TO BUILD A MINDSET LIKE GROOT:

Unhealthy Person: “I have bad genetics. My parents are overweight. I am busy. I have children. I have a slow metabolism. I’m never going to be able to lose weight. This plan won’t work for me because [excuse to let myself off the hook]. I’m the fat guy/gal and that’s all there is to it.”

Habit Building Badass: “I have bad genetics. My parents are overweight. I am busy. I have children. Soooo….How can I make this work for me in my situation? I know people like me who have lost weight, which is a great sign. I refuse to accept that I am a lost cause. I am Groot.”

Even if it isn’t your fault where you are, accept that it’s your personal responsibility to deal with it.

We all have emotional, visceral responses to what we see in the mirror or how we feel when we wake up. We need to cut through the emotion and get to the truth: we alone are responsible for our fate, and that means we alone can fix it.

Like Groot, you can change and grow.

You’ll learn that your excuses are moot – if busier, older, fatter, poorer, and more injured people than you can get in shape, you can too.

So, decide TODAY that this year that you are a“a healthy, habit-building badass” and then simply do the things that perpetually healthy nerds do. With each meal or each decision, ask yourself “what would a healthy person do?” And then do that.

2. know Your “Big Why”.

The road to perpetual weight loss and healthiness is fraught with peril.

Even the best-laid plans and New Years Resolutions will end up in a ditch on the side of the road unless you have a damn good reason.

After all, life gets busy and it’s Taco Tuesday and a new video game just came out and your kid is sick and you just don’t feel like exercising and it’s cold. There will ALWAYS be something.

You will never not be busy.

That perseverance will from a damn good answer to the question: “Why?”

Not just “Because I need to lose weight,” but two levels deeper: WHY you want to lose weight. That’s the motivation and answer you need to be reminded of to persevere over the next few months.

If your answer is: “I’m here because my doctor/wife/husband thinks I should lose weight. I know I should exercise more and do more.” you are doomed. You will give up at the first sign of adversity.

Compare this to the raw, deep, honest answers we get from Nerd Fitness Academy members when we ask about their “Big WHY”:

“I’m here because my dad died of a heart attack at age 45, and I don’t want my kids growing up without a father like I did.”

“I’m here because I want my husband/wife to look at me the way he/she used to, and I want us to grow old together.”

“I’m here because I just got dumped and I want to get healthy so I can start dating again. I don’t want people swiping left on my photos anymore.”

“I’m here because I want to look in the mirror and be proud of what I see. I want to stop hiding behind others in photographs.”

Why are you here? Why do you want to build healthy habits?

Is your reason for being here more important to you than cake? If it isn’t, you’re gonna give up at the first sign of adversity.

Write down your Great Big Why – and go deep, my friend. Way down. And ask yourself “Why?” to the answer of each of your questions until you get to the root of your reason for being here.

Once you write that answer down, hang it up somewhere you can see it every day: fridge, cubicle, bathroom mirror. Accept responsibility for your current situation, be compassionate, and also accept that you CAN change, and your identity can change with small wins that prove it.

3. don’t go on a diet. adjust Your nutrition.

Perpetually unhealthy people have a love/hate relationship with diets.

Mostly hate.

They go on diets all the time – especially in early January, and then they go off diets. And then they go on another diet. And then they find another diet that’s supposed to promise even faster, easier weight loss, so they switch to that one.

Unhealthy people get dieting wrong from the start, and this is what dooms them.

Unhealthy people go on a diet for a month or two, and they can’t wait to go back to “eating normally.” The problem is that their “eating normally” is the reason why they’re overweight in the first place.

Temporary changes to one’s eating results in temporary changes to one’s weight and physique.

Like an addict chasing the next high, somebody consistently has to chase the next diet because their normal eating is the problem in the first place!

And yup, dieting sucks.

Starvation, eliminating favorite foods, and trying to use willpower to avoid candy and sweets is a terrible strategy, so stop doing it.

No wonder people abandon diets as soon as they start them; they think, “If this is what it takes to be skinny, I’d rather stay fat and happy.”

This year, never go on a diet ever again.

Instead, come to terms with this: “My concept of ‘normal eating’ is broken, which means it needs to change permanently in order for me to get healthy.”

Think about that for a second.

If you “never get to be done” with your nutrition, and you can’t go back to how you were eating before, then the ONLY way permanent success happens is if you actually enjoy your new “normal.”

Stop going on diets!

No more diet pills, cleanses or crazy 30-day strategies.

Nothing you do can be temporary, or the results will be temporary.

Instead you are going to make deliberate, incremental permanent changes to your daily nutrition, slowly, over a period of many months.

Eat to line up with your goals.

If you are afraid of giving up something, don’t! Make the unhealthy foods more of a treat and less of a daily indulgence:

If giving up soda forever is scary, slowly cut back from 12 a day down to one a day.

If giving up pasta forever sounds like a life not worth living, learn about portion sizes and make it an experience (only at restaurants, for example).

The same goes for diet pills and supplements – Supplements cannot replace a good nutrition strategy.

When you think about getting healthy this year, think in terms of days and years, not weeks and months:

Know that it took years for you to get to your current physique, and it’s going to take months if not years to correct it. This means you HAVE to enjoy the journey.

Once you accept that you never get to be “done,” you can start picking small adjustments or changes that won’t scare you away from adhering to your plan.

4.know what’s in the food You eat.

Did you know that when it comes to weight loss, your nutrition choices will account for 90% of your success or failure?

In the Nerd Fitness Rebellion, we refer to this as the “you can’t outrun your fork” rule.

Seriously. 90+ PERCENT of the equation. 

Tattoo this on your forehead. Hire somebody to skywrite it above your home every day. Pay somebody to call you every morning and remind you of this fact.

Whatever it takes to get you to realize that changing your eating habits will be the fastest (and only) path to weight loss in 2018.

And it starts by educating yourself about your food.

Make a habit of knowing what’s in the food you eat! 

Whether it’s portion control, calorie counting, tracking macros, or even keeping a food journal, it’s important to have rough idea of the nutritional breakdown of the food you consume regularly.

After all, GI Joe tells us that “Knowing is half the battle!”

The other half is lasers:

With each meal tracked, this habits adds up to knowing what needs to happen every day for you to get healthy.

Sugar is a big culprit in spiking insulin and thus contributes to making waistlines larger, which means checking the labels on the foods you’re consuming for sugar is a great habit to get into.

Speaking of sugar, let’s see a common pitfall you can start to avoid. Here are two different beverages:

Coca-Cola (20 oz): 240 calories, 65 g of carbs (65 g of sugar)

Naked Juice Green Machine (15 oz): 270 calories, 63 g of carbs (55 g of sugar)

Look at those two things above: one is a can of cola that you know is bad for you, the other is marketed as a “healthy beverage.”

They’re both terrible for you!

Don’t fall for the hype: read the label, and break free of the Matrix!

Learn about the food you’re eating. You’re an adult, you can take 3 minutes and Google it.

Once you know the composition of your meals, you can start to make subtle adjustments or change quantities over time as you start to approach a healthier weight.

Be okay with “good enough” to start, and get more accurate as time goes on.

What’s that? You don’t know how to eat healthy? I got you, boo: “A beginner’s guide to healthy eating.”

For each food, learn the following:

Total calories

Serving size

Fat

Protein

Carbs (especially sugar)

Don’t overthink this: Write down what you eat every day for a week. If your weight isn’t changing, adjust down total calories and minimize sugar consumption and see how your weight changes.

Make small adjustments over time and see how your body responds.

Speaking of goals…

5. use Blueprints and Blocks to Create Goals.

Perpetually unhealthy people say things like “I’m going to exercise more this year!”

Goals like this are cloudy with no real markers of success.

With no beacon guiding them, perpetually unhealthy people don’t know if they’re on track, and there’s no accountability if they don’t succeed. These goals get tossed in the abandoned pile next to goals like “I’m gonna start flossing!”

Compare this to what you’re going to do in 2018:

Pick a reachable blueprint to follow: an outcome-based goal.

Place the blocks to build that blueprint: a habit-based goal.

Let’s see this in action: “I want to lose X amount of weight by X date.”

With a very specific goal and a specific timeline, we can work backwards to calculate how much weight we need to lose each week to build that blueprint: our target weight.

Once you know where you want to be a year from now – you can then just focus on what you need to do TODAY.

Want to lose 50 pounds by the end of the year?

That’s one pound per week. And that can happen by making a single change today and every day moving forward.

Focusing on the habit (“today I’m going to drink only one soda instead of 3, and have one vegetable”) allows you to not get overwhelmed at the big picture.

In Minecraft terms, once you have the blueprints for a replica of Rivendell from Lord of the Rings, all you have to focus on is placing the next block in the right place. And then repeat!

Eventually, you’ll have Rivendell:

Here’s a real-life example of this block-placing mentality:

“My goal is to reach my goal weight of 150 pounds by December 1st, 2018, so I will eat one vegetable every day, and I will strength train for 30 minutes, two days per week. On other days, I’ll go for a 10 minute walk.”

What happens when you do this: you stop worrying about the outcome, and instead JUST focus on the habit you have to do today.

It allows you to very easily answer the question: “Yes I placed the block” or “no I did not place the block.”

You either ate a vegetable today or you didn’t.

You either exercised for 30 minutes today or you didn’t.

Make sure you are picking a blueprint that you can build (it’s not overly optimistic), and keep things simple. A target weight loss goal of 1 pound per week is reasonable and sustainable. Remember that the focus should be on SUSTAINABLE progress – not “progress at any cost.”

Once you start reaching goals you can create more complex plans.

Or in fantasy terms, after you finally slay the dragon, go find a bigger one!

6. You don’t HAVE to exercise, You GET to exercise.

Unhealthy people treat exercise as a miserable means to an end: “I’ll exercise until I reach my goal weight and then I can stop this exercise stuff and go back to what I was doing before.”

Temporary changes, miserable strategy, temporary results… sound familiar?

They run on a treadmill because they think they should, but they hate it, and they never want to go back. Or they get dragged to a class with a friend and the class ruins fitness for them.

They do their best to build the habit, but they’re so unhappy and unexcited about the exercise that the habit never sticks.

Look, here’s the truth: “exercise” sucks.

So you’re going to stop doing “exercise.”

I’ve heard from Nerd Fitness Academy members time and time again: “I can’t believe it, but I actually look forward to exercising now. How did THAT happen?”

What’s going on here?

Because nutrition is 90% of the battle, building a habit of exercise and movement is more important than what specific type of exercise you choose:

adult gymnastics

swing dancing

ultimate frisbee

martial arts

hiking (or even just walking!)

strength training.

Whatever gets you off your ass and out the door. If there’s a type of exercise they HATE…don’t do it.

You don’t have to exercise in a way that you hate.

Pick the kind of exercise that makes you come alive. Don’t have that form of exercise yet? Try new things!

Especially the stuff that doesn’t feel like exercise.

Nutrition is 90% of the battle, so the exercise can be something that you enjoy, that reminds you to make better food choices so your efforts don’t go to waste.

Desperate to lose weight faster? In addition to fixing your nutrition, try temptation bundling to get you to go to the gym.

Have a specific physique in mind (six pack, toned arms, a better butt, broader chest, etc.)? Build the body you want and get hooked on improvement: “I can’t wait to go to the gym and find out how much stronger I got today compared to last week.”

You are a video game character increasing your strength attribute with each training session.

7. They invest in their health like a 401(k).

When it comes down to our health, we can invest in three ways:

Our Time

Our Effort

Our Money

Healthy habit-building badasses know this and prioritize accordingly: they know investing in their health is the best decision they can make. So they decide what’s the correct balance of time, effort, and money to use for that investment.

  Your health is an investment just like your net worth:

If you want to devote your effort and time to building your own workouts, crafting your own meal plans, and keeping yourself accountable, that’s awesome. I did this for myself for years.

You might decide to outsource your programming to a coach, recruit an accountability partner, or buy into a program that creates your workouts and nutrition for you.

Either way, this is a months or years-long process that requires discipline! Every day you get a tiny bit better compounds upon the day before and builds you a big nestegg (read: a great physique) that will keep you wealthy (read: healthy) for decades and decades.

We’ve had thousands of people who read all the free content on Nerd Fitness for years with no results, because they never invested in themselves.

However the second they finally invested in The Nerd Fitness Academy or joined Rising Heroes (our monthly habit building adventure) or hired a 1-on-1 coach, they took action and lost weight within months.

Why?

Because we VALUE what we pay for and invest in, making us more likely to actually do the damn thing. And we don’t value what we get for free or take for granted.

Unhealthy people don’t look at all of this stuff rationally – they complain about spending 99 cents on an iPhone app that could dramatically improve the quality of their life, and then gladly spend $6 on a sugary Starbucks beverage each morning without a second thought.

People email me all the time asking “Why should I pay for a course when there is free information online.” Welp, there has been free information online for decades – has it gotten you in shape yet? Maybe there’s a point to investing in yourself!

Your money, your time, and your effort are all limited resources: how you choose to spend each of them tells me a lot about your priorities.

Personally, I gladly pay hundreds of dollars every month for my own online fitness coach.

Many probably think I’m crazy and that this is a waste of money (“just do your own workouts!”), but I feel that it’s the best money I spend every month, and it’s why I’ve prioritized it over other expenses.

I’m not just paying for a workout plan in an excel document.

I am paying for accountability from somebody who is checking in on me, expertise from a trained professional who can spot my weaknesses, and the knowledge that I’ll actually do the workout because I’m spending my hard-earned money on it.

And it got me the results that had eluded me for a decade.

It’s not what you say is a priority, it’s what you spend your time or money on that’s a priority.

Prioritize your money and time on the best stuff, even at the expense of other creature comforts, and you’re more likely to get in shape because you’ll actually care about it.

Answer these questions:

How much money do you spend on your health?

How much time and effort do you devote to creating your workouts or fine-tuning your nutrition?

Have you ever hired a coach or paid for an online course

Do you buy apps or software that make your life easier, or do you try to get by with free stuff that you know you won’t actually use?

Sometimes spending money is the best investment you can make in yourself – because you KNOW that the free option is something you won’t stick with! 

Although you have a free gym in your apartment complex, pay money to join a gym near work with fitness classes, because you hate working out alone and if you know people are counting on you to show up.

Pre-pay for 20 trainer sessions – if you’ve already paid for it and scheduled the workouts, you’ll actually GO.

On vacation and afraid you’ll backslide on all habits? Pay $20-30 to just go to a gym for one hour on vacation. Expensive? Not when you compare it to the weeks spent after the vacation trying to get back on track.

Decide what to sacrifice. It might mean you have to skip movies out or cancel your cable to prioritize a healthy meal service or buy more cookbooks so you never get bored with cooking new healthy meals.

Start thinking about this from a different perspective:

You’re not buying a fitness course or a trainer or an overpriced salad (that you would never make for yourself anyways).

You’re not just hiring a coach that prescribes you a workout that you could have found for free on the internet.

You’re investing in your future and purchasing accountability and expertise and momentum.

And NEVER underestimate momentum.

8. Go All In On Momentum.

Remember that Isaac Newton guy?

“An object at rest tends to stay at rest, and an object in motion tends to stay in motion, unless acted on by another force.”

This is called “inertia,” and nothing could be more applicable when it comes to your health.

Unhealthy people have a LOT of inertia to overcome when they are trying to build healthy habits and get in shape:

Their body is used to sitting on a couch and eating junk food, which means the habit of exercise is agonizing. They have to convince themselves to get off the couch and go out into the wilderness. Eating vegetables and healthy food sucks compared to their normal comfort food.

But they use max effort to do these things a few times, and momentum starts to shift away from unhealthy and towards healthy.

And that’s when things fall apart.

Their kid gets sick or they work late and they miss a workout. Not the end of the world, right? But then it snows the next day, and one missed workout day becomes two, which becomes a month in the blink of an eye.

And shit, they’re back to square one.

We are going to focus instead on cultivating and protecting  your momentum. Invest their time and money in momentum-building or momentum-protecting products or services.

Shit happens. Travel. Vacation. Kids. Work. Life.

So they focus on doing whatever they can to build momentum quickly and maintain it.

Perpetual health doesn’t happen in days, or with a few decisions. It takes months (or more likely, years) of consistent effort.

It’s more than just “missing a workout.” It’s killing your momentum, and momentum is crucial to long term healthiness.

Momentum is crucial to being perpetually healthy, so protect it with your life.

So, focus on momentum until their default behavior is healthy and they can go on autopilot:

Exercise 4 days per week without fail. Yes, even on vacation. Yup, even if it’s only push-ups for 5 minutes.

Go for a morning walk every single day, even when it’s snowing.

Schedule workouts for early Saturday morning with a trainer so they know they can’t drink like a fish on Friday night.

Put your workouts in your calendar. Have your friend give $50 of your money to a cause you hate every time you miss a workout.

Because momentum.

Which means you should be following my favorite rule: never miss two in a row.

Two missed workouts quickly becomes 30 in the blink of an eye. Two bad meals quickly becomes a week of pizza and Chinese food.

Live by the “never two in a row,” and build momentum with daily goals.

9. know Your Kryptonite.

I want to share an important quote from the late, great physicist Richard Feynman:

“The first principle is that you must not fool yourself – and you are the easiest person to fool.”

Unhealthy people might be aware of their Kryptonite, but they just hope and pray they have enough willpower to overcome it every day.

They eat a single Oreo, and then spend an hour thinking about cookies until they go eat a whole sleeve of Oreo cookies and then berate themselves for not having more willpower to avoid the temptation.

The truth is that we are all flawed superheroes.

Unhealthy people try to fix their flaws through sheer willpower and then feel deep shame when they can’t stop their behavior.

Permanently healthy people recognize their Kryptonite, and have a plan to avoid or protect against it:

If they know grains make them unhappy and bloated, they follow a Paleo diet and remove those foods completely so there’s no attempt to only eat half a serving of something.

If they know they struggle with portion control, then maybe they try skipping a meal with Intermittent Fasting.

They also ask the questions that get to the heart of their Kryptonite with regards to weight gain:

Maybe they eat when they’re bored.

Maybe they eat when they’re upset.

Maybe they eat when they’re nervous.

Maybe they eat when they’re watching TV.

They KNOW these things about themselves, and they know unhealthy food has been designed to be addictive.

So they plan for it!

Know thyself, my dear friend, and know what your triggers are.

We’re all flawed; plan for your flaws instead of trying to fight them. These triggers can be environmental or situational or emotional. Know it will happen, and build a Kryptonite-proof plan so you don’t have to worry about avoiding it.

Stop relying on motivation and willpower to tackle your Kryptonite.

Add accountability, punishments, and rewards into your life to stay on track and avoid your Kryptonite:

Check in with someone everyday to make sure they ate their vegetables.

Instruct your friend to donate your $50 to a politician you hate if you miss a workout check-in.

Reward yourself with new running shoes (a reward that rewards you back with more momentum) if you complete 20 runs in a single month.

Don’t go to certain bars or make sure you eat before going to a party, because you KNOW you’ll make a bad decision once you get there.

Build your batcave (your environment) so it’s tougher to make unhealthy decisions and easier to make healthy ones.

Don’t go out to dinner at unhealthy restaurants, and schedule early workouts on Saturdays so you won’t drink yourself silly on Friday.

You don’t need to be flawless. You don’t need a perfect plan. What you do need is to have an honest conversation with yourself about things you need to avoid while you’re trying to make healthier choices.

That might be certain restaurants, certain aisles of the supermarket, or even certain people….

10. Your are surrounded by supporters, not anchors

You are the average of the 5 people you associate most with.

Are they banana peels?

Or are they Lakitus?

Banana peels need no introduction: drive over one in Mario Kart and they’ll ruin a perfectly good race by crushing all of your momentum.

Compare that to Lakitu. If you’re not familiar, he’s the little guy on the cloud in mario Kart that picks you up when you fall off the track and puts you back on course.

Unhealthy people get spun out all the time by the banana peels in their lives:

“What do you mean you don’t want to eat my lasagna anymore? You love my cooking.”

“Everybody is coming over to play D&D and eat pizza, you can’t miss this.”

“You don’t need to lose weight. You look fine. Live a little. Come on.”

Questions and comments like these subtly influence our behavior every day. Which is how you end up looking like and acting like the 5 people you associate most with. 

Compare this to Lakitus: the people who want you to succeed, who hold you accountable and make you want to be better.

I recently asked our private men’s community from the Nerd Fitness Academy what the group meant to them.

This response jumped out at me:

You need to be surrounded by people that pick you up, not slow you down.

Healthy people know this, and they make the hard decisions about who is worthy of their time and attention.

They often fire their unhealthy friends and family – even if only temporarily – because they can’t be around negative influence as they’re trying to build momentum.

I’ve heard of tons of stories where unhealthy relationships have ended because a newly healthy individual was dating an unhealthy person who didn’t want them to be healthy and was actively sabotaging them.

Why does this happen? Because it’s often easier to drag other people down than it is to look honestly in the mirror and address one’s shortcomings or unhealthy. 

If you are trying to get healthy, minimize your time around banana peels and MAXIMIZE your time with Lakitus.

You are influenced dramatically by the people around you whether you realize it or not. How are these people influencing you?

Take exercise:

Banana Peel: You want to exercise, but your friends are mad at you for skipping a Destiny 2 or World of Warcraft raid… you’re going to skip the workout.

Lakitu: You want to exercise, and your friends are at the gym counting on you for a team workout… you’re gonna get your ass to the gym!

Food:

Banana Peel: You are out to dinner with friends and they order lasagna, chicken fingers and fries, a large pizza, and enchiladas. You’ll likely order junk food to fit in, rather than order a salad and endure their scorn.

Lakitu: You are at a healthy restaurant and all 4 people order salads before you order – I’d bet $1000 you’re going to order something healthy too.

Mental health:

Banana Peel: You have 5 friends who never talk about anything serious: how are you supposed to tell them about your depression medication or that you’re thinking about going to see a therapist?

Lakitu: You have 5 friends who are not only accepting of your flaws, but share theirs too and have advice for you.

Decide who is worthy of your attention, and work on putting yourself in situations with people who make you want to be better.

This might mean a serious conversation with your significant other that “likes you more full-figured” if your goal is to be healthier and happier.

Or diving deep into deflection strategies if you have to constantly deal with unhealthy family members you can’t fire.

If they are worth your time, they will change their tune to be more supportive and helpful and less of an anchor.

And then start spending time around people who are stronger, healthier, happier, and more successful than you. And do what they do.

Use 20 seconds of courage to strike up a conversation with someone at the gym on how to do a certain exercise, and make plans to train together the next day.

Join a running club at work, or start a running club if one doesn’t exist yet.

If you don’t have people in real life cheering them on, find an online group that pushes them to be better.

How is 2018 Going to Be Different?

Phew! Okay, let’s see how many of these you can actually check off:

I have a Growth Mindset

I know my Big Why

I don’t go on diets. I adjust my nutrition.

I know what my food is made of.

I have blueprints and blocks.

I don’t have to exercise; I GET to.

I invest in my health like a 401(k).

I go all in on momentum.

I know my Kryptonite.

I seek out Lakitus, not banana peels.

Give yourself a score, and let me know which ones are the toughest for you to follow through on.

If you checked 6 or fewer boxes, pick ONE of the habits and work on it for the next month. Internalize it. Make it part of your new identity. And then move onto the next one.

You’re overcoming inertia and building momentum!

And NEVER underestimate momentum.

Agree with the list? Disagree?

Did I leave one off?

Leave that in the comments too!

Also, congratulations, you just finished the longest article in the history of Nerd Fitness – give yourself a high five.

-Steve

PS: If you are somebody that is interested in investing in their health right now, these are the three paths available to this community:

Join the Nerd Fitness Academy – a one time fee for lifetime access. Follow the workout plans, adjust your mental attitude, follow our 10 level diet system and have a private community to support you.

Hire a Nerd Fitness Coach – expert accountability, Yoda-like guidance, and handcrafted workout and nutrition plans based on your specific life situation.

Check out Rising Heroes – our monthly team-based story driven adventure. Get new real-world missions each week that make you healthier and help us take down a sinister shadow organization.

If you are looking to invest in yourself, I hope to see you in one of these programs!

photo credit: Reiterlied Rex across the fields, Meeting Star Lord and Baby Groot, benjaminreay Big question mark, Mark Bonica Paleo Diet – Day 14, clement127 Chicken factory, post-apocalyptic research institute 3mm model, sualk61 Hamster wheel, evoo73 balance, hjl Kryptonite on Blue, Reiterlied Biking on the Lake

Footnotes    ( returns to text)

You can read the article about the study here: source

from Fitness News By James https://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/the-10-key-differences-between-weight-loss-success-and-failure/

[denisalvney]

The 10 Key Differences Between Weight Loss Success and Failure

“NEW YEAR, NEW YOU!” 

At some point in the past two days, you probably said something like the following:

“Alright, time to lose this gut. “

“This year I’m gonna tone these arms and fix these love handles.”

“Holy crap I really let myself go. Is that Cheeto dust…on my forehead? Yikes.”

And thus, we begin our search for the promised land of effortless, enjoyable weight loss:

We want that one workout that scientists hate that finally melts the fat off our midsections and makes us look like Wonder Woman.

We gorge on acai bowls and omega-3 supplements and get excited about the latest article that says red wine is a health food as we polish off another bottle.

We go through a series of follies in search of a get-fit-quick fantasy that never actually comes to fruition, like Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Reality paints a much different picture:

A flat stomach doesn’t come in a bottle or in a workout DVD.

It comes from boring consistent action over months and years. Gross.

I have seen tens of thousands of people collectively lose millions of pounds since I started Nerd Fitness almost a decade ago.

At the same time, I have also seen hundreds of thousands of people chase the latest health fad, lose a few pounds, and end up a year later right back where they started. Every year, I have seen packed gyms in January become ghost towns in February.

No wonder a 2016 British study declared, “We’re doomed to stay fat.”[1]

So what gives?

This year, what will separate the people who make new years resolutions and STICK with them, and those that give up after a few weeks?

With over 40,000 students in our flagship online course, the Nerd Fitness Academy, 150 1-on-1 coaching clients, and 10 years with thousands of emails and success stories, I created this monster resource that dives deep into the key habits that will actually help you get in shape this year.

Here are the 10 key strategies that separate the Healthy from the Unhealthy – start doing these things today and you’ll actually make progress that lasts:

1. have a Growth Mindset.

Your mom was right: you are a unique snowflake.

That means there are ton of things that affect why you’ve gained weight over the past decade(s) and why you struggle to lose it:

Genetics

Age

Gender

Stress level

Home environment

Mental health

Activity level

Nutrition

All of these things play a factor in what you look like and how healthy you are. Despite these various factors, I’ve seen a common thread in people who build healthy habits and stick with them:

A Growth mindset.

Let’s get nerdy for a second (you’re reading Nerd Fitness after all). I assume you’re familiar with Groot, the tree-like superhero from Guardians of the Galaxy. He can grow and change his shape to suit the situation. He also only says, “I am Groot,” but that’s less applicable here.

HOW TO BUILD A MINDSET LIKE GROOT:

Unhealthy Person: “I have bad genetics. My parents are overweight. I am busy. I have children. I have a slow metabolism. I’m never going to be able to lose weight. This plan won’t work for me because [excuse to let myself off the hook]. I’m the fat guy/gal and that’s all there is to it.”

Habit Building Badass: “I have bad genetics. My parents are overweight. I am busy. I have children. Soooo….How can I make this work for me in my situation? I know people like me who have lost weight, which is a great sign. I refuse to accept that I am a lost cause. I am Groot.”

Even if it isn’t your fault where you are, accept that it’s your personal responsibility to deal with it.

We all have emotional, visceral responses to what we see in the mirror or how we feel when we wake up. We need to cut through the emotion and get to the truth: we alone are responsible for our fate, and that means we alone can fix it.

Like Groot, you can change and grow.

You’ll learn that your excuses are moot – if busier, older, fatter, poorer, and more injured people than you can get in shape, you can too.

So, decide TODAY that this year that you are a“a healthy, habit-building badass” and then simply do the things that perpetually healthy nerds do. With each meal or each decision, ask yourself “what would a healthy person do?” And then do that.

2. know Your “Big Why”.

The road to perpetual weight loss and healthiness is fraught with peril.

Even the best-laid plans and New Years Resolutions will end up in a ditch on the side of the road unless you have a damn good reason.

After all, life gets busy and it’s Taco Tuesday and a new video game just came out and your kid is sick and you just don’t feel like exercising and it’s cold. There will ALWAYS be something.

You will never not be busy.

That perseverance will from a damn good answer to the question: “Why?”

Not just “Because I need to lose weight,” but two levels deeper: WHY you want to lose weight. That’s the motivation and answer you need to be reminded of to persevere over the next few months.

If your answer is: “I’m here because my doctor/wife/husband thinks I should lose weight. I know I should exercise more and do more.” you are doomed. You will give up at the first sign of adversity.

Compare this to the raw, deep, honest answers we get from Nerd Fitness Academy members when we ask about their “Big WHY”:

“I’m here because my dad died of a heart attack at age 45, and I don’t want my kids growing up without a father like I did.”

“I’m here because I want my husband/wife to look at me the way he/she used to, and I want us to grow old together.”

“I’m here because I just got dumped and I want to get healthy so I can start dating again. I don’t want people swiping left on my photos anymore.”

“I’m here because I want to look in the mirror and be proud of what I see. I want to stop hiding behind others in photographs.”

Why are you here? Why do you want to build healthy habits?

Is your reason for being here more important to you than cake? If it isn’t, you’re gonna give up at the first sign of adversity.

Write down your Great Big Why – and go deep, my friend. Way down. And ask yourself “Why?” to the answer of each of your questions until you get to the root of your reason for being here.

Once you write that answer down, hang it up somewhere you can see it every day: fridge, cubicle, bathroom mirror. Accept responsibility for your current situation, be compassionate, and also accept that you CAN change, and your identity can change with small wins that prove it.

3. don’t go on a diet. adjust Your nutrition.

Perpetually unhealthy people have a love/hate relationship with diets.

Mostly hate.

They go on diets all the time – especially in early January, and then they go off diets. And then they go on another diet. And then they find another diet that’s supposed to promise even faster, easier weight loss, so they switch to that one.

Unhealthy people get dieting wrong from the start, and this is what dooms them.

Unhealthy people go on a diet for a month or two, and they can’t wait to go back to “eating normally.” The problem is that their “eating normally” is the reason why they’re overweight in the first place.

Temporary changes to one’s eating results in temporary changes to one’s weight and physique.

Like an addict chasing the next high, somebody consistently has to chase the next diet because their normal eating is the problem in the first place!

And yup, dieting sucks.

Starvation, eliminating favorite foods, and trying to use willpower to avoid candy and sweets is a terrible strategy, so stop doing it.

No wonder people abandon diets as soon as they start them; they think, “If this is what it takes to be skinny, I’d rather stay fat and happy.”

This year, never go on a diet ever again.

Instead, come to terms with this: “My concept of ‘normal eating’ is broken, which means it needs to change permanently in order for me to get healthy.”

Think about that for a second.

If you “never get to be done” with your nutrition, and you can’t go back to how you were eating before, then the ONLY way permanent success happens is if you actually enjoy your new “normal.”

Stop going on diets!

No more diet pills, cleanses or crazy 30-day strategies.

Nothing you do can be temporary, or the results will be temporary.

Instead you are going to make deliberate, incremental permanent changes to your daily nutrition, slowly, over a period of many months.

Eat to line up with your goals.

If you are afraid of giving up something, don’t! Make the unhealthy foods more of a treat and less of a daily indulgence:

If giving up soda forever is scary, slowly cut back from 12 a day down to one a day.

If giving up pasta forever sounds like a life not worth living, learn about portion sizes and make it an experience (only at restaurants, for example).

The same goes for diet pills and supplements – Supplements cannot replace a good nutrition strategy.

When you think about getting healthy this year, think in terms of days and years, not weeks and months:

Know that it took years for you to get to your current physique, and it’s going to take months if not years to correct it. This means you HAVE to enjoy the journey.

Once you accept that you never get to be “done,” you can start picking small adjustments or changes that won’t scare you away from adhering to your plan.

4.know what’s in the food You eat.

Did you know that when it comes to weight loss, your nutrition choices will account for 90% of your success or failure?

In the Nerd Fitness Rebellion, we refer to this as the “you can’t outrun your fork” rule.

Seriously. 90+ PERCENT of the equation. 

Tattoo this on your forehead. Hire somebody to skywrite it above your home every day. Pay somebody to call you every morning and remind you of this fact.

Whatever it takes to get you to realize that changing your eating habits will be the fastest (and only) path to weight loss in 2018.

And it starts by educating yourself about your food.

Make a habit of knowing what’s in the food you eat! 

Whether it’s portion control, calorie counting, tracking macros, or even keeping a food journal, it’s important to have rough idea of the nutritional breakdown of the food you consume regularly.

After all, GI Joe tells us that “Knowing is half the battle!”

The other half is lasers:

With each meal tracked, this habits adds up to knowing what needs to happen every day for you to get healthy.

Sugar is a big culprit in spiking insulin and thus contributes to making waistlines larger, which means checking the labels on the foods you’re consuming for sugar is a great habit to get into.

Speaking of sugar, let’s see a common pitfall you can start to avoid. Here are two different beverages:

Coca-Cola (20 oz): 240 calories, 65 g of carbs (65 g of sugar)

Naked Juice Green Machine (15 oz): 270 calories, 63 g of carbs (55 g of sugar)

Look at those two things above: one is a can of cola that you know is bad for you, the other is marketed as a “healthy beverage.”

They’re both terrible for you!

Don’t fall for the hype: read the label, and break free of the Matrix!

Learn about the food you’re eating. You’re an adult, you can take 3 minutes and Google it.

Once you know the composition of your meals, you can start to make subtle adjustments or change quantities over time as you start to approach a healthier weight.

Be okay with “good enough” to start, and get more accurate as time goes on.

What’s that? You don’t know how to eat healthy? I got you, boo: “A beginner’s guide to healthy eating.”

For each food, learn the following:

Total calories

Serving size

Fat

Protein

Carbs (especially sugar)

Don’t overthink this: Write down what you eat every day for a week. If your weight isn’t changing, adjust down total calories and minimize sugar consumption and see how your weight changes.

Make small adjustments over time and see how your body responds.

Speaking of goals…

5. use Blueprints and Blocks to Create Goals.

Perpetually unhealthy people say things like “I’m going to exercise more this year!”

Goals like this are cloudy with no real markers of success.

With no beacon guiding them, perpetually unhealthy people don’t know if they’re on track, and there’s no accountability if they don’t succeed. These goals get tossed in the abandoned pile next to goals like “I’m gonna start flossing!”

Compare this to what you’re going to do in 2018:

Pick a reachable blueprint to follow: an outcome-based goal.

Place the blocks to build that blueprint: a habit-based goal.

Let’s see this in action: “I want to lose X amount of weight by X date.”

With a very specific goal and a specific timeline, we can work backwards to calculate how much weight we need to lose each week to build that blueprint: our target weight.

Once you know where you want to be a year from now – you can then just focus on what you need to do TODAY.

Want to lose 50 pounds by the end of the year?

That’s one pound per week. And that can happen by making a single change today and every day moving forward.

Focusing on the habit (“today I’m going to drink only one soda instead of 3, and have one vegetable”) allows you to not get overwhelmed at the big picture.

In Minecraft terms, once you have the blueprints for a replica of Rivendell from Lord of the Rings, all you have to focus on is placing the next block in the right place. And then repeat!

Eventually, you’ll have Rivendell:

Here’s a real-life example of this block-placing mentality:

“My goal is to reach my goal weight of 150 pounds by December 1st, 2018, so I will eat one vegetable every day, and I will strength train for 30 minutes, two days per week. On other days, I’ll go for a 10 minute walk.”

What happens when you do this: you stop worrying about the outcome, and instead JUST focus on the habit you have to do today.

It allows you to very easily answer the question: “Yes I placed the block” or “no I did not place the block.”

You either ate a vegetable today or you didn’t.

You either exercised for 30 minutes today or you didn’t.

Make sure you are picking a blueprint that you can build (it’s not overly optimistic), and keep things simple. A target weight loss goal of 1 pound per week is reasonable and sustainable. Remember that the focus should be on SUSTAINABLE progress – not “progress at any cost.”

Once you start reaching goals you can create more complex plans.

Or in fantasy terms, after you finally slay the dragon, go find a bigger one!

6. You don’t HAVE to exercise, You GET to exercise.

Unhealthy people treat exercise as a miserable means to an end: “I’ll exercise until I reach my goal weight and then I can stop this exercise stuff and go back to what I was doing before.”

Temporary changes, miserable strategy, temporary results… sound familiar?

They run on a treadmill because they think they should, but they hate it, and they never want to go back. Or they get dragged to a class with a friend and the class ruins fitness for them.

They do their best to build the habit, but they’re so unhappy and unexcited about the exercise that the habit never sticks.

Look, here’s the truth: “exercise” sucks.

So you’re going to stop doing “exercise.”

I’ve heard from Nerd Fitness Academy members time and time again: “I can’t believe it, but I actually look forward to exercising now. How did THAT happen?”

What’s going on here?

Because nutrition is 90% of the battle, building a habit of exercise and movement is more important than what specific type of exercise you choose:

adult gymnastics

swing dancing

ultimate frisbee

martial arts

hiking (or even just walking!)

strength training.

Whatever gets you off your ass and out the door. If there’s a type of exercise they HATE…don’t do it.

You don’t have to exercise in a way that you hate.

Pick the kind of exercise that makes you come alive. Don’t have that form of exercise yet? Try new things!

Especially the stuff that doesn’t feel like exercise.

Nutrition is 90% of the battle, so the exercise can be something that you enjoy, that reminds you to make better food choices so your efforts don’t go to waste.

Desperate to lose weight faster? In addition to fixing your nutrition, try temptation bundling to get you to go to the gym.

Have a specific physique in mind (six pack, toned arms, a better butt, broader chest, etc.)? Build the body you want and get hooked on improvement: “I can’t wait to go to the gym and find out how much stronger I got today compared to last week.”

You are a video game character increasing your strength attribute with each training session.

7. They invest in their health like a 401(k).

When it comes down to our health, we can invest in three ways:

Our Time

Our Effort

Our Money

Healthy habit-building badasses know this and prioritize accordingly: they know investing in their health is the best decision they can make. So they decide what’s the correct balance of time, effort, and money to use for that investment.

  Your health is an investment just like your net worth:

If you want to devote your effort and time to building your own workouts, crafting your own meal plans, and keeping yourself accountable, that’s awesome. I did this for myself for years.

You might decide to outsource your programming to a coach, recruit an accountability partner, or buy into a program that creates your workouts and nutrition for you.

Either way, this is a months or years-long process that requires discipline! Every day you get a tiny bit better compounds upon the day before and builds you a big nestegg (read: a great physique) that will keep you wealthy (read: healthy) for decades and decades.

We’ve had thousands of people who read all the free content on Nerd Fitness for years with no results, because they never invested in themselves.

However the second they finally invested in The Nerd Fitness Academy or joined Rising Heroes (our monthly habit building adventure) or hired a 1-on-1 coach, they took action and lost weight within months.

Why?

Because we VALUE what we pay for and invest in, making us more likely to actually do the damn thing. And we don’t value what we get for free or take for granted.

Unhealthy people don’t look at all of this stuff rationally – they complain about spending 99 cents on an iPhone app that could dramatically improve the quality of their life, and then gladly spend $6 on a sugary Starbucks beverage each morning without a second thought.

People email me all the time asking “Why should I pay for a course when there is free information online.” Welp, there has been free information online for decades – has it gotten you in shape yet? Maybe there’s a point to investing in yourself!

Your money, your time, and your effort are all limited resources: how you choose to spend each of them tells me a lot about your priorities.

Personally, I gladly pay hundreds of dollars every month for my own online fitness coach.

Many probably think I’m crazy and that this is a waste of money (“just do your own workouts!”), but I feel that it’s the best money I spend every month, and it’s why I’ve prioritized it over other expenses.

I’m not just paying for a workout plan in an excel document.

I am paying for accountability from somebody who is checking in on me, expertise from a trained professional who can spot my weaknesses, and the knowledge that I’ll actually do the workout because I’m spending my hard-earned money on it.

And it got me the results that had eluded me for a decade.

It’s not what you say is a priority, it’s what you spend your time or money on that’s a priority.

Prioritize your money and time on the best stuff, even at the expense of other creature comforts, and you’re more likely to get in shape because you’ll actually care about it.

Answer these questions:

How much money do you spend on your health?

How much time and effort do you devote to creating your workouts or fine-tuning your nutrition?

Have you ever hired a coach or paid for an online course

Do you buy apps or software that make your life easier, or do you try to get by with free stuff that you know you won’t actually use?

Sometimes spending money is the best investment you can make in yourself – because you KNOW that the free option is something you won’t stick with! 

Although you have a free gym in your apartment complex, pay money to join a gym near work with fitness classes, because you hate working out alone and if you know people are counting on you to show up.

Pre-pay for 20 trainer sessions – if you’ve already paid for it and scheduled the workouts, you’ll actually GO.

On vacation and afraid you’ll backslide on all habits? Pay $20-30 to just go to a gym for one hour on vacation. Expensive? Not when you compare it to the weeks spent after the vacation trying to get back on track.

Decide what to sacrifice. It might mean you have to skip movies out or cancel your cable to prioritize a healthy meal service or buy more cookbooks so you never get bored with cooking new healthy meals.

Start thinking about this from a different perspective:

You’re not buying a fitness course or a trainer or an overpriced salad (that you would never make for yourself anyways).

You’re not just hiring a coach that prescribes you a workout that you could have found for free on the internet.

You’re investing in your future and purchasing accountability and expertise and momentum.

And NEVER underestimate momentum.

8. Go All In On Momentum.

Remember that Isaac Newton guy?

“An object at rest tends to stay at rest, and an object in motion tends to stay in motion, unless acted on by another force.”

This is called “inertia,” and nothing could be more applicable when it comes to your health.

Unhealthy people have a LOT of inertia to overcome when they are trying to build healthy habits and get in shape:

Their body is used to sitting on a couch and eating junk food, which means the habit of exercise is agonizing. They have to convince themselves to get off the couch and go out into the wilderness. Eating vegetables and healthy food sucks compared to their normal comfort food.

But they use max effort to do these things a few times, and momentum starts to shift away from unhealthy and towards healthy.

And that’s when things fall apart.

Their kid gets sick or they work late and they miss a workout. Not the end of the world, right? But then it snows the next day, and one missed workout day becomes two, which becomes a month in the blink of an eye.

And shit, they’re back to square one.

We are going to focus instead on cultivating and protecting  your momentum. Invest their time and money in momentum-building or momentum-protecting products or services.

Shit happens. Travel. Vacation. Kids. Work. Life.

So they focus on doing whatever they can to build momentum quickly and maintain it.

Perpetual health doesn’t happen in days, or with a few decisions. It takes months (or more likely, years) of consistent effort.

It’s more than just “missing a workout.” It’s killing your momentum, and momentum is crucial to long term healthiness.

Momentum is crucial to being perpetually healthy, so protect it with your life.

So, focus on momentum until their default behavior is healthy and they can go on autopilot:

Exercise 4 days per week without fail. Yes, even on vacation. Yup, even if it’s only push-ups for 5 minutes.

Go for a morning walk every single day, even when it’s snowing.

Schedule workouts for early Saturday morning with a trainer so they know they can’t drink like a fish on Friday night.

Put your workouts in your calendar. Have your friend give $50 of your money to a cause you hate every time you miss a workout.

Because momentum.

Which means you should be following my favorite rule: never miss two in a row.

Two missed workouts quickly becomes 30 in the blink of an eye. Two bad meals quickly becomes a week of pizza and Chinese food.

Live by the “never two in a row,” and build momentum with daily goals.

9. know Your Kryptonite.

I want to share an important quote from the late, great physicist Richard Feynman:

“The first principle is that you must not fool yourself – and you are the easiest person to fool.”

Unhealthy people might be aware of their Kryptonite, but they just hope and pray they have enough willpower to overcome it every day.

They eat a single Oreo, and then spend an hour thinking about cookies until they go eat a whole sleeve of Oreo cookies and then berate themselves for not having more willpower to avoid the temptation.

The truth is that we are all flawed superheroes.

Unhealthy people try to fix their flaws through sheer willpower and then feel deep shame when they can’t stop their behavior.

Permanently healthy people recognize their Kryptonite, and have a plan to avoid or protect against it:

If they know grains make them unhappy and bloated, they follow a Paleo diet and remove those foods completely so there’s no attempt to only eat half a serving of something.

If they know they struggle with portion control, then maybe they try skipping a meal with Intermittent Fasting.

They also ask the questions that get to the heart of their Kryptonite with regards to weight gain:

Maybe they eat when they’re bored.

Maybe they eat when they’re upset.

Maybe they eat when they’re nervous.

Maybe they eat when they’re watching TV.

They KNOW these things about themselves, and they know unhealthy food has been designed to be addictive.

So they plan for it!

Know thyself, my dear friend, and know what your triggers are.

We’re all flawed; plan for your flaws instead of trying to fight them. These triggers can be environmental or situational or emotional. Know it will happen, and build a Kryptonite-proof plan so you don’t have to worry about avoiding it.

Stop relying on motivation and willpower to tackle your Kryptonite.

Add accountability, punishments, and rewards into your life to stay on track and avoid your Kryptonite:

Check in with someone everyday to make sure they ate their vegetables.

Instruct your friend to donate your $50 to a politician you hate if you miss a workout check-in.

Reward yourself with new running shoes (a reward that rewards you back with more momentum) if you complete 20 runs in a single month.

Don’t go to certain bars or make sure you eat before going to a party, because you KNOW you’ll make a bad decision once you get there.

Build your batcave (your environment) so it’s tougher to make unhealthy decisions and easier to make healthy ones.

Don’t go out to dinner at unhealthy restaurants, and schedule early workouts on Saturdays so you won’t drink yourself silly on Friday.

You don’t need to be flawless. You don’t need a perfect plan. What you do need is to have an honest conversation with yourself about things you need to avoid while you’re trying to make healthier choices.

That might be certain restaurants, certain aisles of the supermarket, or even certain people….

10. Your are surrounded by supporters, not anchors

You are the average of the 5 people you associate most with.

Are they banana peels?

Or are they Lakitus?

Banana peels need no introduction: drive over one in Mario Kart and they’ll ruin a perfectly good race by crushing all of your momentum.

Compare that to Lakitu. If you’re not familiar, he’s the little guy on the cloud in mario Kart that picks you up when you fall off the track and puts you back on course.

Unhealthy people get spun out all the time by the banana peels in their lives:

“What do you mean you don’t want to eat my lasagna anymore? You love my cooking.”

“Everybody is coming over to play D&D and eat pizza, you can’t miss this.”

“You don’t need to lose weight. You look fine. Live a little. Come on.”

Questions and comments like these subtly influence our behavior every day. Which is how you end up looking like and acting like the 5 people you associate most with. 

Compare this to Lakitus: the people who want you to succeed, who hold you accountable and make you want to be better.

I recently asked our private men’s community from the Nerd Fitness Academy what the group meant to them.

This response jumped out at me:

You need to be surrounded by people that pick you up, not slow you down.

Healthy people know this, and they make the hard decisions about who is worthy of their time and attention.

They often fire their unhealthy friends and family – even if only temporarily – because they can’t be around negative influence as they’re trying to build momentum.

I’ve heard of tons of stories where unhealthy relationships have ended because a newly healthy individual was dating an unhealthy person who didn’t want them to be healthy and was actively sabotaging them.

Why does this happen? Because it’s often easier to drag other people down than it is to look honestly in the mirror and address one’s shortcomings or unhealthy. 

If you are trying to get healthy, minimize your time around banana peels and MAXIMIZE your time with Lakitus.

You are influenced dramatically by the people around you whether you realize it or not. How are these people influencing you?

Take exercise:

Banana Peel: You want to exercise, but your friends are mad at you for skipping a Destiny 2 or World of Warcraft raid… you’re going to skip the workout.

Lakitu: You want to exercise, and your friends are at the gym counting on you for a team workout… you’re gonna get your ass to the gym!

Food:

Banana Peel: You are out to dinner with friends and they order lasagna, chicken fingers and fries, a large pizza, and enchiladas. You’ll likely order junk food to fit in, rather than order a salad and endure their scorn.

Lakitu: You are at a healthy restaurant and all 4 people order salads before you order – I’d bet $1000 you’re going to order something healthy too.

Mental health:

Banana Peel: You have 5 friends who never talk about anything serious: how are you supposed to tell them about your depression medication or that you’re thinking about going to see a therapist?

Lakitu: You have 5 friends who are not only accepting of your flaws, but share theirs too and have advice for you.

Decide who is worthy of your attention, and work on putting yourself in situations with people who make you want to be better.

This might mean a serious conversation with your significant other that “likes you more full-figured” if your goal is to be healthier and happier.

Or diving deep into deflection strategies if you have to constantly deal with unhealthy family members you can’t fire.

If they are worth your time, they will change their tune to be more supportive and helpful and less of an anchor.

And then start spending time around people who are stronger, healthier, happier, and more successful than you. And do what they do.

Use 20 seconds of courage to strike up a conversation with someone at the gym on how to do a certain exercise, and make plans to train together the next day.

Join a running club at work, or start a running club if one doesn’t exist yet.

If you don’t have people in real life cheering them on, find an online group that pushes them to be better.

How is 2018 Going to Be Different?

Phew! Okay, let’s see how many of these you can actually check off:

I have a Growth Mindset

I know my Big Why

I don’t go on diets. I adjust my nutrition.

I know what my food is made of.

I have blueprints and blocks.

I don’t have to exercise; I GET to.

I invest in my health like a 401(k).

I go all in on momentum.

I know my Kryptonite.

I seek out Lakitus, not banana peels.

Give yourself a score, and let me know which ones are the toughest for you to follow through on.

If you checked 6 or fewer boxes, pick ONE of the habits and work on it for the next month. Internalize it. Make it part of your new identity. And then move onto the next one.

You’re overcoming inertia and building momentum!

And NEVER underestimate momentum.

Agree with the list? Disagree?

Did I leave one off?

Leave that in the comments too!

Also, congratulations, you just finished the longest article in the history of Nerd Fitness – give yourself a high five.

-Steve

PS: If you are somebody that is interested in investing in their health right now, these are the three paths available to this community:

Join the Nerd Fitness Academy – a one time fee for lifetime access. Follow the workout plans, adjust your mental attitude, follow our 10 level diet system and have a private community to support you.

Hire a Nerd Fitness Coach – expert accountability, Yoda-like guidance, and handcrafted workout and nutrition plans based on your specific life situation.

Check out Rising Heroes – our monthly team-based story driven adventure. Get new real-world missions each week that make you healthier and help us take down a sinister shadow organization.

If you are looking to invest in yourself, I hope to see you in one of these programs!

photo credit: Reiterlied Rex across the fields, Meeting Star Lord and Baby Groot, benjaminreay Big question mark, Mark Bonica Paleo Diet – Day 14, clement127 Chicken factory, post-apocalyptic research institute 3mm model, sualk61 Hamster wheel, evoo73 balance, hjl Kryptonite on Blue, Reiterlied Biking on the Lake

Footnotes    ( returns to text)

You can read the article about the study here: source

The 10 Key Differences Between Weight Loss Success and Failure published first on https://www.nerdfitness.com

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The 10 Key Differences Between Weight Loss Success and Failure

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The 10 Key Differences Between Weight Loss Success and Failure

“NEW YEAR, NEW YOU!” 

At some point in the past two days, you probably said something like the following:

“Alright, time to lose this gut. “

“This year I’m gonna tone these arms and fix these love handles.”

“Holy crap I really let myself go. Is that Cheeto dust…on my forehead? Yikes.”

And thus, we begin our search for the promised land of effortless, enjoyable weight loss:

We want that one workout that scientists hate that finally melts the fat off our midsections and makes us look like Wonder Woman.

We gorge on acai bowls and omega-3 supplements and get excited about the latest article that says red wine is a health food as we polish off another bottle.

We go through a series of follies in search of a get-fit-quick fantasy that never actually comes to fruition, like Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Reality paints a much different picture:

A flat stomach doesn’t come in a bottle or in a workout DVD.

It comes from boring consistent action over months and years. Gross.

I have seen tens of thousands of people collectively lose millions of pounds since I started Nerd Fitness almost a decade ago.

At the same time, I have also seen hundreds of thousands of people chase the latest health fad, lose a few pounds, and end up a year later right back where they started. Every year, I have seen packed gyms in January become ghost towns in February.

No wonder a 2016 British study declared, “We’re doomed to stay fat.”[1]

So what gives?

This year, what will separate the people who make new years resolutions and STICK with them, and those that give up after a few weeks?

With over 40,000 students in our flagship online course, the Nerd Fitness Academy, 150 1-on-1 coaching clients, and 10 years with thousands of emails and success stories, I created this monster resource that dives deep into the key habits that will actually help you get in shape this year.

Here are the 10 key strategies that separate the Healthy from the Unhealthy – start doing these things today and you’ll actually make progress that lasts:

1. have a Growth Mindset.

Your mom was right: you are a unique snowflake.

That means there are ton of things that affect why you’ve gained weight over the past decade(s) and why you struggle to lose it:

Genetics

Age

Gender

Stress level

Home environment

Mental health

Activity level

Nutrition

All of these things play a factor in what you look like and how healthy you are. Despite these various factors, I’ve seen a common thread in people who build healthy habits and stick with them:

A Growth mindset.

Let’s get nerdy for a second (you’re reading Nerd Fitness after all). I assume you’re familiar with Groot, the tree-like superhero from Guardians of the Galaxy. He can grow and change his shape to suit the situation. He also only says, “I am Groot,” but that’s less applicable here.

HOW TO BUILD A MINDSET LIKE GROOT:

Unhealthy Person: “I have bad genetics. My parents are overweight. I am busy. I have children. I have a slow metabolism. I’m never going to be able to lose weight. This plan won’t work for me because [excuse to let myself off the hook]. I’m the fat guy/gal and that’s all there is to it.”

Habit Building Badass: “I have bad genetics. My parents are overweight. I am busy. I have children. Soooo….How can I make this work for me in my situation? I know people like me who have lost weight, which is a great sign. I refuse to accept that I am a lost cause. I am Groot.”

Even if it isn’t your fault where you are, accept that it’s your personal responsibility to deal with it.

We all have emotional, visceral responses to what we see in the mirror or how we feel when we wake up. We need to cut through the emotion and get to the truth: we alone are responsible for our fate, and that means we alone can fix it.

Like Groot, you can change and grow.

You’ll learn that your excuses are moot – if busier, older, fatter, poorer, and more injured people than you can get in shape, you can too.

So, decide TODAY that this year that you are a“a healthy, habit-building badass” and then simply do the things that perpetually healthy nerds do. With each meal or each decision, ask yourself “what would a healthy person do?” And then do that.

2. know Your “Big Why”.

The road to perpetual weight loss and healthiness is fraught with peril.

Even the best-laid plans and New Years Resolutions will end up in a ditch on the side of the road unless you have a damn good reason.

After all, life gets busy and it’s Taco Tuesday and a new video game just came out and your kid is sick and you just don’t feel like exercising and it’s cold. There will ALWAYS be something.

You will never not be busy.

That perseverance will from a damn good answer to the question: “Why?”

Not just “Because I need to lose weight,” but two levels deeper: WHY you want to lose weight. That’s the motivation and answer you need to be reminded of to persevere over the next few months.

If your answer is: “I’m here because my doctor/wife/husband thinks I should lose weight. I know I should exercise more and do more.” you are doomed. You will give up at the first sign of adversity.

Compare this to the raw, deep, honest answers we get from Nerd Fitness Academy members when we ask about their “Big WHY”:

“I’m here because my dad died of a heart attack at age 45, and I don’t want my kids growing up without a father like I did.”

“I’m here because I want my husband/wife to look at me the way he/she used to, and I want us to grow old together.”

“I’m here because I just got dumped and I want to get healthy so I can start dating again. I don’t want people swiping left on my photos anymore.”

“I’m here because I want to look in the mirror and be proud of what I see. I want to stop hiding behind others in photographs.”

Why are you here? Why do you want to build healthy habits?

Is your reason for being here more important to you than cake? If it isn’t, you’re gonna give up at the first sign of adversity.

Write down your Great Big Why – and go deep, my friend. Way down. And ask yourself “Why?” to the answer of each of your questions until you get to the root of your reason for being here.

Once you write that answer down, hang it up somewhere you can see it every day: fridge, cubicle, bathroom mirror. Accept responsibility for your current situation, be compassionate, and also accept that you CAN change, and your identity can change with small wins that prove it.

3. don’t go on a diet. adjust Your nutrition.

Perpetually unhealthy people have a love/hate relationship with diets.

Mostly hate.

They go on diets all the time – especially in early January, and then they go off diets. And then they go on another diet. And then they find another diet that’s supposed to promise even faster, easier weight loss, so they switch to that one.

Unhealthy people get dieting wrong from the start, and this is what dooms them.

Unhealthy people go on a diet for a month or two, and they can’t wait to go back to “eating normally.” The problem is that their “eating normally” is the reason why they’re overweight in the first place.

Temporary changes to one’s eating results in temporary changes to one’s weight and physique.

Like an addict chasing the next high, somebody consistently has to chase the next diet because their normal eating is the problem in the first place!

And yup, dieting sucks.

Starvation, eliminating favorite foods, and trying to use willpower to avoid candy and sweets is a terrible strategy, so stop doing it.

No wonder people abandon diets as soon as they start them; they think, “If this is what it takes to be skinny, I’d rather stay fat and happy.”

This year, never go on a diet ever again.

Instead, come to terms with this: “My concept of ‘normal eating’ is broken, which means it needs to change permanently in order for me to get healthy.”

Think about that for a second.

If you “never get to be done” with your nutrition, and you can’t go back to how you were eating before, then the ONLY way permanent success happens is if you actually enjoy your new “normal.”

Stop going on diets!

No more diet pills, cleanses or crazy 30-day strategies.

Nothing you do can be temporary, or the results will be temporary.

Instead you are going to make deliberate, incremental permanent changes to your daily nutrition, slowly, over a period of many months.

Eat to line up with your goals.

If you are afraid of giving up something, don’t! Make the unhealthy foods more of a treat and less of a daily indulgence:

If giving up soda forever is scary, slowly cut back from 12 a day down to one a day.

If giving up pasta forever sounds like a life not worth living, learn about portion sizes and make it an experience (only at restaurants, for example).

The same goes for diet pills and supplements – Supplements cannot replace a good nutrition strategy.

When you think about getting healthy this year, think in terms of days and years, not weeks and months:

Know that it took years for you to get to your current physique, and it’s going to take months if not years to correct it. This means you HAVE to enjoy the journey.

Once you accept that you never get to be “done,” you can start picking small adjustments or changes that won’t scare you away from adhering to your plan.

4.know what’s in the food You eat.

Did you know that when it comes to weight loss, your nutrition choices will account for 90% of your success or failure?

In the Nerd Fitness Rebellion, we refer to this as the “you can’t outrun your fork” rule.

Seriously. 90+ PERCENT of the equation. 

Tattoo this on your forehead. Hire somebody to skywrite it above your home every day. Pay somebody to call you every morning and remind you of this fact.

Whatever it takes to get you to realize that changing your eating habits will be the fastest (and only) path to weight loss in 2018.

And it starts by educating yourself about your food.

Make a habit of knowing what’s in the food you eat! 

Whether it’s portion control, calorie counting, tracking macros, or even keeping a food journal, it’s important to have rough idea of the nutritional breakdown of the food you consume regularly.

After all, GI Joe tells us that “Knowing is half the battle!”

The other half is lasers:

With each meal tracked, this habits adds up to knowing what needs to happen every day for you to get healthy.

Sugar is a big culprit in spiking insulin and thus contributes to making waistlines larger, which means checking the labels on the foods you’re consuming for sugar is a great habit to get into.

Speaking of sugar, let’s see a common pitfall you can start to avoid. Here are two different beverages:

Coca-Cola (20 oz): 240 calories, 65 g of carbs (65 g of sugar)

Naked Juice Green Machine (15 oz): 270 calories, 63 g of carbs (55 g of sugar)

Look at those two things above: one is a can of cola that you know is bad for you, the other is marketed as a “healthy beverage.”

They’re both terrible for you!

Don’t fall for the hype: read the label, and break free of the Matrix!

Learn about the food you’re eating. You’re an adult, you can take 3 minutes and Google it.

Once you know the composition of your meals, you can start to make subtle adjustments or change quantities over time as you start to approach a healthier weight.

Be okay with “good enough” to start, and get more accurate as time goes on.

What’s that? You don’t know how to eat healthy? I got you, boo: “A beginner’s guide to healthy eating.”

For each food, learn the following:

Total calories

Serving size

Fat

Protein

Carbs (especially sugar)

Don’t overthink this: Write down what you eat every day for a week. If your weight isn’t changing, adjust down total calories and minimize sugar consumption and see how your weight changes.

Make small adjustments over time and see how your body responds.

Speaking of goals…

5. use Blueprints and Blocks to Create Goals.

Perpetually unhealthy people say things like “I’m going to exercise more this year!”

Goals like this are cloudy with no real markers of success.

With no beacon guiding them, perpetually unhealthy people don’t know if they’re on track, and there’s no accountability if they don’t succeed. These goals get tossed in the abandoned pile next to goals like “I’m gonna start flossing!”

Compare this to what you’re going to do in 2018:

Pick a reachable blueprint to follow: an outcome-based goal.

Place the blocks to build that blueprint: a habit-based goal.

Let’s see this in action: “I want to lose X amount of weight by X date.”

With a very specific goal and a specific timeline, we can work backwards to calculate how much weight we need to lose each week to build that blueprint: our target weight.

Once you know where you want to be a year from now – you can then just focus on what you need to do TODAY.

Want to lose 50 pounds by the end of the year?

That’s one pound per week. And that can happen by making a single change today and every day moving forward.

Focusing on the habit (“today I’m going to drink only one soda instead of 3, and have one vegetable”) allows you to not get overwhelmed at the big picture.

In Minecraft terms, once you have the blueprints for a replica of Rivendell from Lord of the Rings, all you have to focus on is placing the next block in the right place. And then repeat!

Eventually, you’ll have Rivendell:

Here’s a real-life example of this block-placing mentality:

“My goal is to reach my goal weight of 150 pounds by December 1st, 2018, so I will eat one vegetable every day, and I will strength train for 30 minutes, two days per week. On other days, I’ll go for a 10 minute walk.”

What happens when you do this: you stop worrying about the outcome, and instead JUST focus on the habit you have to do today.

It allows you to very easily answer the question: “Yes I placed the block” or “no I did not place the block.”

You either ate a vegetable today or you didn’t.

You either exercised for 30 minutes today or you didn’t.

Make sure you are picking a blueprint that you can build (it’s not overly optimistic), and keep things simple. A target weight loss goal of 1 pound per week is reasonable and sustainable. Remember that the focus should be on SUSTAINABLE progress – not “progress at any cost.”

Once you start reaching goals you can create more complex plans.

Or in fantasy terms, after you finally slay the dragon, go find a bigger one!

6. You don’t HAVE to exercise, You GET to exercise.

Unhealthy people treat exercise as a miserable means to an end: “I’ll exercise until I reach my goal weight and then I can stop this exercise stuff and go back to what I was doing before.”

Temporary changes, miserable strategy, temporary results… sound familiar?

They run on a treadmill because they think they should, but they hate it, and they never want to go back. Or they get dragged to a class with a friend and the class ruins fitness for them.

They do their best to build the habit, but they’re so unhappy and unexcited about the exercise that the habit never sticks.

Look, here’s the truth: “exercise” sucks.

So you’re going to stop doing “exercise.”

I’ve heard from Nerd Fitness Academy members time and time again: “I can’t believe it, but I actually look forward to exercising now. How did THAT happen?”

What’s going on here?

Because nutrition is 90% of the battle, building a habit of exercise and movement is more important than what specific type of exercise you choose:

adult gymnastics

swing dancing

ultimate frisbee

martial arts

hiking (or even just walking!)

strength training.

Whatever gets you off your ass and out the door. If there’s a type of exercise they HATE…don’t do it.

You don’t have to exercise in a way that you hate.

Pick the kind of exercise that makes you come alive. Don’t have that form of exercise yet? Try new things!

Especially the stuff that doesn’t feel like exercise.

Nutrition is 90% of the battle, so the exercise can be something that you enjoy, that reminds you to make better food choices so your efforts don’t go to waste.

Desperate to lose weight faster? In addition to fixing your nutrition, try temptation bundling to get you to go to the gym.

Have a specific physique in mind (six pack, toned arms, a better butt, broader chest, etc.)? Build the body you want and get hooked on improvement: “I can’t wait to go to the gym and find out how much stronger I got today compared to last week.”

You are a video game character increasing your strength attribute with each training session.

7. They invest in their health like a 401(k).

When it comes down to our health, we can invest in three ways:

Our Time

Our Effort

Our Money

Healthy habit-building badasses know this and prioritize accordingly: they know investing in their health is the best decision they can make. So they decide what’s the correct balance of time, effort, and money to use for that investment.

  Your health is an investment just like your net worth:

If you want to devote your effort and time to building your own workouts, crafting your own meal plans, and keeping yourself accountable, that’s awesome. I did this for myself for years.

You might decide to outsource your programming to a coach, recruit an accountability partner, or buy into a program that creates your workouts and nutrition for you.

Either way, this is a months or years-long process that requires discipline! Every day you get a tiny bit better compounds upon the day before and builds you a big nestegg (read: a great physique) that will keep you wealthy (read: healthy) for decades and decades.

We’ve had thousands of people who read all the free content on Nerd Fitness for years with no results, because they never invested in themselves.

However the second they finally invested in The Nerd Fitness Academy or joined Rising Heroes (our monthly habit building adventure) or hired a 1-on-1 coach, they took action and lost weight within months.

Why?

Because we VALUE what we pay for and invest in, making us more likely to actually do the damn thing. And we don’t value what we get for free or take for granted.

Unhealthy people don’t look at all of this stuff rationally – they complain about spending 99 cents on an iPhone app that could dramatically improve the quality of their life, and then gladly spend $6 on a sugary Starbucks beverage each morning without a second thought.

People email me all the time asking “Why should I pay for a course when there is free information online.” Welp, there has been free information online for decades – has it gotten you in shape yet? Maybe there’s a point to investing in yourself!

Your money, your time, and your effort are all limited resources: how you choose to spend each of them tells me a lot about your priorities.

Personally, I gladly pay hundreds of dollars every month for my own online fitness coach.

Many probably think I’m crazy and that this is a waste of money (“just do your own workouts!”), but I feel that it’s the best money I spend every month, and it’s why I’ve prioritized it over other expenses.

I’m not just paying for a workout plan in an excel document.

I am paying for accountability from somebody who is checking in on me, expertise from a trained professional who can spot my weaknesses, and the knowledge that I’ll actually do the workout because I’m spending my hard-earned money on it.

And it got me the results that had eluded me for a decade.

It’s not what you say is a priority, it’s what you spend your time or money on that’s a priority.

Prioritize your money and time on the best stuff, even at the expense of other creature comforts, and you’re more likely to get in shape because you’ll actually care about it.

Answer these questions:

How much money do you spend on your health?

How much time and effort do you devote to creating your workouts or fine-tuning your nutrition?

Have you ever hired a coach or paid for an online course

Do you buy apps or software that make your life easier, or do you try to get by with free stuff that you know you won’t actually use?

Sometimes spending money is the best investment you can make in yourself – because you KNOW that the free option is something you won’t stick with! 

Although you have a free gym in your apartment complex, pay money to join a gym near work with fitness classes, because you hate working out alone and if you know people are counting on you to show up.

Pre-pay for 20 trainer sessions – if you’ve already paid for it and scheduled the workouts, you’ll actually GO.

On vacation and afraid you’ll backslide on all habits? Pay $20-30 to just go to a gym for one hour on vacation. Expensive? Not when you compare it to the weeks spent after the vacation trying to get back on track.

Decide what to sacrifice. It might mean you have to skip movies out or cancel your cable to prioritize a healthy meal service or buy more cookbooks so you never get bored with cooking new healthy meals.

Start thinking about this from a different perspective:

You’re not buying a fitness course or a trainer or an overpriced salad (that you would never make for yourself anyways).

You’re not just hiring a coach that prescribes you a workout that you could have found for free on the internet.

You’re investing in your future and purchasing accountability and expertise and momentum.

And NEVER underestimate momentum.

8. Go All In On Momentum.

Remember that Isaac Newton guy?

“An object at rest tends to stay at rest, and an object in motion tends to stay in motion, unless acted on by another force.”

This is called “inertia,” and nothing could be more applicable when it comes to your health.

Unhealthy people have a LOT of inertia to overcome when they are trying to build healthy habits and get in shape:

Their body is used to sitting on a couch and eating junk food, which means the habit of exercise is agonizing. They have to convince themselves to get off the couch and go out into the wilderness. Eating vegetables and healthy food sucks compared to their normal comfort food.

But they use max effort to do these things a few times, and momentum starts to shift away from unhealthy and towards healthy.

And that’s when things fall apart.

Their kid gets sick or they work late and they miss a workout. Not the end of the world, right? But then it snows the next day, and one missed workout day becomes two, which becomes a month in the blink of an eye.

And shit, they’re back to square one.

We are going to focus instead on cultivating and protecting  your momentum. Invest their time and money in momentum-building or momentum-protecting products or services.

Shit happens. Travel. Vacation. Kids. Work. Life.

So they focus on doing whatever they can to build momentum quickly and maintain it.

Perpetual health doesn’t happen in days, or with a few decisions. It takes months (or more likely, years) of consistent effort.

It’s more than just “missing a workout.” It’s killing your momentum, and momentum is crucial to long term healthiness.

Momentum is crucial to being perpetually healthy, so protect it with your life.

So, focus on momentum until their default behavior is healthy and they can go on autopilot:

Exercise 4 days per week without fail. Yes, even on vacation. Yup, even if it’s only push-ups for 5 minutes.

Go for a morning walk every single day, even when it’s snowing.

Schedule workouts for early Saturday morning with a trainer so they know they can’t drink like a fish on Friday night.

Put your workouts in your calendar. Have your friend give $50 of your money to a cause you hate every time you miss a workout.

Because momentum.

Which means you should be following my favorite rule: never miss two in a row.

Two missed workouts quickly becomes 30 in the blink of an eye. Two bad meals quickly becomes a week of pizza and Chinese food.

Live by the “never two in a row,” and build momentum with daily goals.

9. know Your Kryptonite.

I want to share an important quote from the late, great physicist Richard Feynman:

“The first principle is that you must not fool yourself – and you are the easiest person to fool.”

Unhealthy people might be aware of their Kryptonite, but they just hope and pray they have enough willpower to overcome it every day.

They eat a single Oreo, and then spend an hour thinking about cookies until they go eat a whole sleeve of Oreo cookies and then berate themselves for not having more willpower to avoid the temptation.

The truth is that we are all flawed superheroes.

Unhealthy people try to fix their flaws through sheer willpower and then feel deep shame when they can’t stop their behavior.

Permanently healthy people recognize their Kryptonite, and have a plan to avoid or protect against it:

If they know grains make them unhappy and bloated, they follow a Paleo diet and remove those foods completely so there’s no attempt to only eat half a serving of something.

If they know they struggle with portion control, then maybe they try skipping a meal with Intermittent Fasting.

They also ask the questions that get to the heart of their Kryptonite with regards to weight gain:

Maybe they eat when they’re bored.

Maybe they eat when they’re upset.

Maybe they eat when they’re nervous.

Maybe they eat when they’re watching TV.

They KNOW these things about themselves, and they know unhealthy food has been designed to be addictive.

So they plan for it!

Know thyself, my dear friend, and know what your triggers are.

We’re all flawed; plan for your flaws instead of trying to fight them. These triggers can be environmental or situational or emotional. Know it will happen, and build a Kryptonite-proof plan so you don’t have to worry about avoiding it.

Stop relying on motivation and willpower to tackle your Kryptonite.

Add accountability, punishments, and rewards into your life to stay on track and avoid your Kryptonite:

Check in with someone everyday to make sure they ate their vegetables.

Instruct your friend to donate your $50 to a politician you hate if you miss a workout check-in.

Reward yourself with new running shoes (a reward that rewards you back with more momentum) if you complete 20 runs in a single month.

Don’t go to certain bars or make sure you eat before going to a party, because you KNOW you’ll make a bad decision once you get there.

Build your batcave (your environment) so it’s tougher to make unhealthy decisions and easier to make healthy ones.

Don’t go out to dinner at unhealthy restaurants, and schedule early workouts on Saturdays so you won’t drink yourself silly on Friday.

You don’t need to be flawless. You don’t need a perfect plan. What you do need is to have an honest conversation with yourself about things you need to avoid while you’re trying to make healthier choices.

That might be certain restaurants, certain aisles of the supermarket, or even certain people….

10. Your are surrounded by supporters, not anchors

You are the average of the 5 people you associate most with.

Are they banana peels?

Or are they Lakitus?

Banana peels need no introduction: drive over one in Mario Kart and they’ll ruin a perfectly good race by crushing all of your momentum.

Compare that to Lakitu. If you’re not familiar, he’s the little guy on the cloud in mario Kart that picks you up when you fall off the track and puts you back on course.

Unhealthy people get spun out all the time by the banana peels in their lives:

“What do you mean you don’t want to eat my lasagna anymore? You love my cooking.”

“Everybody is coming over to play D&D and eat pizza, you can’t miss this.”

“You don’t need to lose weight. You look fine. Live a little. Come on.”

Questions and comments like these subtly influence our behavior every day. Which is how you end up looking like and acting like the 5 people you associate most with. 

Compare this to Lakitus: the people who want you to succeed, who hold you accountable and make you want to be better.

I recently asked our private men’s community from the Nerd Fitness Academy what the group meant to them.

This response jumped out at me:

You need to be surrounded by people that pick you up, not slow you down.

Healthy people know this, and they make the hard decisions about who is worthy of their time and attention.

They often fire their unhealthy friends and family – even if only temporarily – because they can’t be around negative influence as they’re trying to build momentum.

I’ve heard of tons of stories where unhealthy relationships have ended because a newly healthy individual was dating an unhealthy person who didn’t want them to be healthy and was actively sabotaging them.

Why does this happen? Because it’s often easier to drag other people down than it is to look honestly in the mirror and address one’s shortcomings or unhealthy. 

If you are trying to get healthy, minimize your time around banana peels and MAXIMIZE your time with Lakitus.

You are influenced dramatically by the people around you whether you realize it or not. How are these people influencing you?

Take exercise:

Banana Peel: You want to exercise, but your friends are mad at you for skipping a Destiny 2 or World of Warcraft raid… you’re going to skip the workout.

Lakitu: You want to exercise, and your friends are at the gym counting on you for a team workout… you’re gonna get your ass to the gym!

Food:

Banana Peel: You are out to dinner with friends and they order lasagna, chicken fingers and fries, a large pizza, and enchiladas. You’ll likely order junk food to fit in, rather than order a salad and endure their scorn.

Lakitu: You are at a healthy restaurant and all 4 people order salads before you order – I’d bet $1000 you’re going to order something healthy too.

Mental health:

Banana Peel: You have 5 friends who never talk about anything serious: how are you supposed to tell them about your depression medication or that you’re thinking about going to see a therapist?

Lakitu: You have 5 friends who are not only accepting of your flaws, but share theirs too and have advice for you.

Decide who is worthy of your attention, and work on putting yourself in situations with people who make you want to be better.

This might mean a serious conversation with your significant other that “likes you more full-figured” if your goal is to be healthier and happier.

Or diving deep into deflection strategies if you have to constantly deal with unhealthy family members you can’t fire.

If they are worth your time, they will change their tune to be more supportive and helpful and less of an anchor.

And then start spending time around people who are stronger, healthier, happier, and more successful than you. And do what they do.

Use 20 seconds of courage to strike up a conversation with someone at the gym on how to do a certain exercise, and make plans to train together the next day.

Join a running club at work, or start a running club if one doesn’t exist yet.

If you don’t have people in real life cheering them on, find an online group that pushes them to be better.

How is 2018 Going to Be Different?

Phew! Okay, let’s see how many of these you can actually check off:

I have a Growth Mindset

I know my Big Why

I don’t go on diets. I adjust my nutrition.

I know what my food is made of.

I have blueprints and blocks.

I don’t have to exercise; I GET to.

I invest in my health like a 401(k).

I go all in on momentum.

I know my Kryptonite.

I seek out Lakitus, not banana peels.

Give yourself a score, and let me know which ones are the toughest for you to follow through on.

If you checked 6 or fewer boxes, pick ONE of the habits and work on it for the next month. Internalize it. Make it part of your new identity. And then move onto the next one.

You’re overcoming inertia and building momentum!

And NEVER underestimate momentum.

Agree with the list? Disagree?

Did I leave one off?

Leave that in the comments too!

Also, congratulations, you just finished the longest article in the history of Nerd Fitness – give yourself a high five.

-Steve

PS: If you are somebody that is interested in investing in their health right now, these are the three paths available to this community:

Join the Nerd Fitness Academy – a one time fee for lifetime access. Follow the workout plans, adjust your mental attitude, follow our 10 level diet system and have a private community to support you.

Hire a Nerd Fitness Coach – expert accountability, Yoda-like guidance, and handcrafted workout and nutrition plans based on your specific life situation.

Check out Rising Heroes – our monthly team-based story driven adventure. Get new real-world missions each week that make you healthier and help us take down a sinister shadow organization.

If you are looking to invest in yourself, I hope to see you in one of these programs!

photo credit: Reiterlied Rex across the fields, Meeting Star Lord and Baby Groot, benjaminreay Big question mark, Mark Bonica Paleo Diet – Day 14, clement127 Chicken factory, post-apocalyptic research institute 3mm model, sualk61 Hamster wheel, evoo73 balance, hjl Kryptonite on Blue, Reiterlied Biking on the Lake

Footnotes    ( returns to text)

You can read the article about the study here: source

[tucson-interviewed]

Tucson Interviewed: Dragoon Brewing’s Les Mains, a Sour Blonde Beer

It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that beer is exploding all around Tucson.  Normally this is a bad thing, but under my context, it is a good thing.  When the opportunity to do this interview came up, I wasn’t sure if I would, or should, take it.  After all, I don’t drink.  I don’t say that with an air of condescension.  Ask anyone who knows me and they’ll tell you that I’m horribly, horribly depressed and will eventually need to seek out treatment.  Ha.  Ha.  Haha.

On Sunday, October 15th, I sat down with the newest member of the Dragoon Brewing family, a barrel-aged sour blonde beer.  It was an interesting conversation, especially because, again, I am not a drinker.  Due to this fact, I realized that there would be a lot of backbiting about this interview amongst all of the interview fan communities, especially those online.  They’ll say I was paid for this discussion and that it’s nothing more than a glorified commercial.  They’ll say that this makes me a sell-out.  

But I was not compensated for this interview, so you watch it with the accusations that you make.  Am I an a-hole?  Yes, absolutely.  Am I corrupt?  Not at all.  Also, I don’t drink.  I feel like I have to keep reminding you all of that fact.

Tucson, I want you to put your hands together (unless you have a glass in one, in which case slap your free hand against your thigh), this is Dragoon Brewing’s Les Mains, a Sour Blonde Beer interviewed!

Catfish Baruni: I’m told you have a theme song or something along those lines.  Do you want to start with that?

Les Mains:  [sings] West of I-10 I was brewed and aged/in the barrel room I spent most of my days/chilling on oak that used to hold chardonnay--

CB:  That’s enough.  We get it: you’ve seen The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

LM:  Once again, alone in the dark for years.  Lots of TV.

CB:  That’s the title of my autobiography: Alone in the Dark for Years.

No!  That’s the name of my sex tape!

Why don’t we go ahead and get started with your name?

LM:  Most people when they walk in the bar will probably say something along the lines of “Less Manz.”

CB:  Okay, so that’s Option A.

LM:  Or “Less Maynz.”

CB:  Option B.

LM:  I was named, much like my predecessor in French [Dragoon’s Les Cœurs], Les Mains.

CB:  Les Mains. [nails the pronunciation]

LM:  Yes.

CB:  Is that right?  I never took French in high school.

LM:  It’s… good enough.

CB:  Is that what you prefer to be called?  Do you have a nickname that you like better?

LM:  Uhh, “Sour Blonde” is always easier.

CB:  “Sour Blonde”?

LM:  Yeah, “Sour Blonde.”

CB:  Sour Blonde, I understand that you’re relatively new in town.  Is that accurate?

LM:  Yeah, oh yeah.  I mean, I’ve been around for almost three years, but--

CB:  Like off and on?

LM:  No, no.  I’ve been here.

CB:  Oh, you’ve BEEN here?

LM:  Yes, but--

CB:  So my sources are wrong?

LM:  Well…

CB:  You can say that I’m wrong.  Many people have.  They’re usually women.

LM:  [laughs]  You’re not wrong in so far that--is a beer around if nobody can drink it?

CB:  Ohhh.  Wow.  We’re getting deep…

LM:  Yeah.

CB:  ...on a Sunday morning.

LM:  Think about it as, I’ve been around, but I’ve just recently had my coming out party.  My quinceañera.

CB:  Awww.

LM:  The family, Dragoon [Brewing], I was part of that family, at home and now I’ve come of age and been revealed to the world.

CB:  Let me say, first of all, congratulations on becoming a woman.  So quickly.  Uh, mazel tov.

So you’ve been here three years (kind of) but more like one day?

LM:  Yes, yes.

CB:  How was the trip?

LM:  Relaxing.

CB:  That’s good to hear.  Nothing worse than a stressful trip, and I know a lot of people are gonna say, “What about war or famine?  Those are worse than a stressful trip.”  And what I would say is, those are a type of stressful trip.

How have you see Tucson change since you’ve been here?

LM:  Well, I spent the vast majority of the last three years inside of various wooden barrels, so I’d say it changed from being dark, humid, with touches of lightly toasted oak and chardonnay to bright and vivacious, effervescent, and sunny.  But I might have a skewed perspective.

CB:  Look, who doesn’t have a skewed perspective?

LM:  Fair enough.

CB:  Now--

LM:  That’s my journey.

CB:  It sounds like you’ve done a lot of growing during that journey and I think--

LM:  You calling me fat?

CB:  A little bit, but I meant it mostly with the “P-H,” so the good kind of P-hat.

Now, Sour Blonde, I have to admit something to you.  I--

LM:  Oh, are you having a coming out as well?

CB:  In a way, yes.  I’m not a drinker.  I’ve never tasted a beer.  

LM:  I forgive you.

CB:  Thank you.  The closest I’ve come was the time that I mixed up a Roy Rogers and a Rob Roy.  It…

LM:  [laughs]

CB:  ...immediately became clear to me that the wrong thing had been ordered.  I’m disappointed in my friend Jon for not pointing out that it was the wrong drink when he asked what I wanted.  Anyway, so, not being a beer drinker, is it normal that you started in a wood barrel?

LM: Not in American beers.  All the beers start generally the same: water and grain, and add different flavors; and then throw in some little microbes, either yeast or bacteria, to transform our sugars into alcohol.  Usually, that can happen in as little as two weeks.  

But in the case of barrel-aged folks like myself, that journey goes from a big stainless tank before being split up into tiny wooden barrels where each barrel develops its own slightly different character and after many years those are blended together into a final product to release.  This is only the second time Dragoon has made a barrel-aged sour.  My predecessor was Les Cœurs.

CB:  Les Cœurs?

LM:  Yes, “the hearts.”

CB:  Is Dragoon run by a bunch of dirty Frenchmen?

LM:  Not to my--I haven’t met any, let me just put it that way.

CB:  Okay, that’s fair.

LM:  None have put their hands on me.

[everyone laughs; I’m sure you get it so I won’t explain]

CB:  Now, what can you tell me, you’ll forgive me, I did a little bit of research--what can you tell me about your  “bouquet” or “nose”?

LM:  Oh, excellent.  Aroma.

CB:  Or “aroma.”

LM:  There’s definitely notes of fruit, tartness, and a touch of sour.  You don’t get much funk from--

CB:  So you’re saying you’re not earthy? [Note: I should have made a reference or allusion to George Clinton and/or Parliament Funkadelic.]

LM:  Oh, definitely not earthy, no no.  How strange it is to be discussing how I smell with a man, but I guess that is the first thing one encounters.  

CB:  Except perhaps a man with no nose, but--

LM:  How does he smell?

CB:  With his... hands.  I guess.

LM:  So we’re not doing the Monty Python bit.

CB:  Uhhh, you’ll be disappointed to know that I don’t remember the bit.  But you’re only three-years-old, so I don’t know how you know it.

LM:  When you’re in the dark by yourself a lot, you end up watching a lot of Monty Python.

CB:  That does make sense.

CB:  So, would you say you’re like a Malbec or a Beaujolais?

LM:  So, it seems like you’ve wandered down the wine path.  I’m not like either of those.

CB:  Are you telling me that beer is not wine? [Note: Remember, your host is not a drinker.]

LM:  Yes.

CB:  Oh.  We’re going to have to throw out most, if not all, of the research that I've done.

LM:  Well, you know, lucky for you, sour barrel-aged beers actually can share a lot in common with our wine compatriots in the alcohol world.

CB:  Ahhh.

LM:  So your questions might reveal some interesting insights into my character that, if you were focused on my beer aspects, you might never uncover.  Aside from the fact that you touched on whether I’m like one of two wines that I’m nothing like, what other questions might you have?  

CB:  Sour Blonde, tell me, how Riesling are you?

LM:  Oooh.  How Riesling am I? [laughs before thinking on this for a moment]  

A touch.  There are some Rieslings--

CB:  Now I hate to interrupt you, but could it be said that you’re “a touch too much”? [Note: Like the f’n AC/DC song, owwwwwww \m/.]

LM:  No.

CB:  Okay.  Fair enough.  Please, continue with your answer.

LM:  There’s some similarities in color.  Some Rieslings tend towards the sparkling, so in that sense, but hardly that bubbly.  I’m rather effervescent.  I’m carbonated at a fairly high level.

CB:  More Coke or more Pepsi, your carbonation?

LM:  Dear God, you know nothing about beer.

CB:  This… This is true.

LM:  I don’t know how to answer that question [laughs].  

CB:  Can you tell me one of Tucson’s nicknames?

LM:  The Old Pueblo.

CB:  Which, of course, is Spanish for “The Pueblo,” for those readers who don’t speak Spanish.

Do you wanna try your hand at giving Tucson a new nickname?

LM:  Hmm.

No.

CB:  Maybe something like Brew-scon?  [Note: You better have laughed at that, you-know-who.]

LM:  [laughs; it is unclear if Sour Blonde is laughing at my pun or at spurning my request for a new nickname]

Give Tucson a new nickname?  “Sour City.”

CB:  “Sour City.”

LM:  Yeah.

CB:  As you may be aware, Tucson is home to a number of burrito joints.  From upscale to vending machine.  Tell me, what’s your ideal burrito filling?  Enchilada style, yay or nay?

LM:  Oooh, and this is not limited to one thing?  Because a burrito with one ingredient IS still a burrito.

CB:  I’m not here to debate you about the technical definition of a burrito, so we’ll just say it’s whatever you want it to be.  Provided there is something [inside] and it’s not just a tortilla rolled up.  That, I think we can agree upon: not a burrito.

LM:  Yes.

Well, when speaking of beverages, it’s always excellent to talk about “pairing,” and burritos are excellent pairings with a sour blonde such as myself, especially when their ingredients lean toward the lighter and more herbal variety.  A breakfast burrito with egg, potato, and avocado, with just a little bit of hot sauce to liven things up I think would be an excellent pairing with a sour blonde such as myself.

CB:  Excellent answer.  Now you mentioned a lighter burrito goes best with a sour blonde [such as hisself], so I’m going to assume my next question is going to be a “Nay,” but: enchilada style: yay or nay?

LM:  Nay.

CB:  Like I said, I expected it.

LM:  Because what I just described was a breakfast burrito, and I must say, a breakfast burrito should never* be served enchilada style.

Am I going to start a fight?

CB:  Well… I mean, there are some hearty breakfast burritos, but, again [Note: for the first time] this is not “Burrito Talk,” that’s my other interview series that I do.

LM:  Fair enough.  Let me know when you want me to be on that.

CB:  I certainly will.

To the uninitiated, and that may include you, Sour Blonde--you were in a barrel for three years; driving the streets of Tucson can be an ordeal.  Do you have a favorite street or intersection to drive down or through?

LM:  Oh, I enjoy Pima [Road].

CB:  Pima?

LM:  Yeah.  

CB:  You know, I like it, too. [Note: See Tucson Interviewed: Catfish Baruni]

LM:  Isn’t it nice?  

CB:  It really is.

LM:  It really opens up out east.

CB:  Y’know, when it’s well-paved--

LM:  Yes.

CB:  --and at the right hour, it feels like they made that street just for you.

LM:  Yeah.

CB:  It’s the best.

LM:  They got bus pullouts and bike lanes.  It’s like they knew what they were doing.

CB:  Unlike--

LM:  Grant!

CB: --Speedway.  And Grant. Grant’s another one!

LM:  And I live on Grant.

CB:  Ugh.  I’m so, so sorry.

Maybe we’ve already answered this question then, what’s your least favorite street to drive down?

LM:  Especially since I’ve been around, Grant’s been a mess.  Despite the fact that I refer to it as “Dead Bird Alley,” I would take Glenn over Grant these days.

CB:  Wow!  That says a lot.  At a certain point, Glenn has stop signs.  It is essentially--

LM:  A residential street! [in unison]

CB:  A residential street! [Note: see above]

And you would rather take it than Grant.

LM:  Yes!

CB:  That says a lot.

How long is Grant going to be a mess for, do you think?

LM:  Oh, I’ll be long gone before they’re done.

CB:  That makes me sad to hear.

LM:  And they’ll cellar me for, like, three to five years and pull me out at some anniversary party later, and, I’m telling you, it still won’t be done after Dragoon’s tenth anniversary five years from now.

CB:  Yii-ikes!

LM:  Yeah.  I’m young, but I’m not dumb.

CB:  Tucson has a rich musical background.  It was mentioned in a The Beatles song and (I think) The Doors once played here.  Sour Blonde, what’s your favorite local musical act?

LM:  Oh, I know this one.  Now, some of the people who helped in my creation are also talented musicians.  I would definitely say “Sex Prisoner.”

CB:  Sex Prisoner?

LM:  Yes.

CB:  I hate to confess my ignorance, but I’ve never heard of Sex Prisoner.  Do they play around town regularly?  

LM:  Yeah, yeah, when our cellarman, Matt, who happens to be one of the members, has enough time to actually play.  Mostly he turns on his thrash metal and presses it against the tanks and it resonates and I can just feel the vibrations through my liquid.

CB:  So they don’t have a standing gig you can plug or anything like that?

LM:  Uh, no.  I know they’re going on like a European trip soon.

CB:  No, that’s fine.  If they don’t want to perform regularly so that we can tell all twelves of readers...

LM:  I could also mention ...music video? but I think they’ve been gone for five years and had a reunion tour a year ago now.

CB:  So we’re talking about “dot dot dot music video question mark”?  

LM:  Yes.  One of our brewers was in the band.

CB:  That must be Wes [...music video?’s guitarist].

I went to junior high with Paul [...music video?’s keyboard player and Zune owner].

[A conversation about ...music video? ensues.]

Moving on, though, The University of Arizona is one of the largest employers in Tucson and plays an integral role in much of the happenings of the city.  In each interview, I like to ask a deep question about the U of A: Sour Blonde, can you tell me something about the U of A?

LM:  Uh, yes.

CB:  Good enough.  And now it’s time for Reader Question(s).  Unfortunately, we’re still really lacking in questions from our readers.  Also, I forgot to print what I have out.  The one that I remember was not directed at you, but I’m going to direct it to you anyway, Sour Blonde.  

Aida A., from the Middle of the Pacific O. asks, “What is your favorite flavor of Eegee?”

LM:  Oooh.  For some reason, I just went straight to watermelon.

CB:  That’s a popular one.  

The Sonoran Desert is home to Tucson, and nothing symbolizes the desert more than the iconic saguaro cactus.  

LM:  If you say so.

CB:  I do.  I literally just did.  Do you prefer saguaros with or without arms?

LM:  Much like a breakfast burrito, a saguaro without arms is just a glorified barrel cactus.  Saguaro should have arms.

CB:  Does that mean a breakfast burrito should also have arms?

LM:  Look, I’ve been out of the barrel for a couple of days; I’m not a good at metaphors.

CB:  That’s fine, that’s fine.  I’ve been out of the barrel, so to speak, for roughly 35 years, and I’m not good at words either.  So.

LM:  So, much like a breakfast burrito shouldn’t have enchilada sauce smothered all over it because my God, how would you pick it up?  

CB:  Knife and fork.  Knife and fork.

LM:  Now who sounds like the dirty Frenchman?

CB:  [in a perfect French accent] Knife and fork! [laughs like a stereotypical French chef]

LM:  [laughs]  With your hands.  Les mains!

CB:  Ohhhh, it all comes back around.  

LM:  Yes, so in order to eat a burrito with les mains, one must have arms.  And therefore, a saguaro cactus should have arms.  

CB:  So that it can eat a burrito.

LM:  Yes.  A breakfast burrito, probably, when paired with myself.

CB:  The monsoon season, now you may not have known about that since you’ve been in a barrel, but the monsoon season is a special time for the denizens of Tucson.  When a monsoon thunderstorm strikes, what do you prefer to be doing?

LM:  I prefer to be being enjoyed by a small gathering of people gazing out upon the storm from a traditional Tucson porch.

CB:  So this begs the question, Les Mains, are you going to be available for purchase just at the taproom at Dragoon or will you be available at retail locations as well?

LM:  Oh, I’m getting out there!  In limited amounts, I’m getting out there.  I’m having a sipping session at Good Oak Bar on October 18th from 6 - 9PM.  And there will be another sipping session and Les Mains release party at Tap and Bottle downtown Thursday, October 19th, at 6PM and at Tap and Bottle North on Friday, October 20th, also at 6PM.

CB:  Great to hear.  Nobody likes a shut-in, which I can tell you because I’m nearly a shut-in.  

LM:  Oh, do you live in a barrel?

CB:  It’s ...barrel-like.

LM:  Oh, okay.

CB:  A limited number of entrances and exits.  Dark most of the time.  And, uh, a couple of cats crawling around inside.  

LM: Oh, hmm, cats.  I don’t know about that flavor profile, but I do say that, while I can detect that there is a fair amount of bitterness in your character, I think that the balance of humors will render that bitterness quite enjoyable once you choose to come out of the barrel.  

CB:  Sour Blonde, thank you for saying that.  

In my head, I started overthinking that. I thought, “I’m going to thank Sour Blonde and Sour Blonde is going to prematurely think that the interview is over when that is not the case.”  We are only at the TOPICAL QUESTION time.

LM:  Ooh!  None of this has been topical?

CB: Well, theoretically I’m going to ask you a question about something that’s happened in the news.  The problem is slightly that I forgot to look up anything in the news, but I do remember seeing a headline about--I still have trouble saying this, so I’m not going to--the man in the White House talking about meeting the President of the Virgin Islands.

LM:  Oh, they have a president now?

CB:  The question’s going to be what’s your thought on it, because, obviously, I’m sure you know, the President of the Virgin Islands is also the President of the United States of America. Uhh, so, what are your thoughts on that?

LM:  Oddly circuitous, but also I’ve been stuck in a barrel for three years and only been out in the world for a couple of days, and I knew that.  

CB:  And for the record, you are a beer.

LM:  YES!

CB:  And you knew that.

LM:  Yes.

CB:  And a human being did not.  So.

LM:  Yes.

CB:  It’s a depressing time that we live in.

LM:  When isn’t it?

CB:  That’s true, but these seem to be more depressing times, Sour Blonde, and you--

LM:  Hey, I’m sour by nature.

CB:  Not naughty?

LM:  [laughs]

CB:  It is now time for the LIGHTNING ROUND.  We’re still working on the impressive, special effects-laden introduction.  In the LIGHTNING ROUND, I want you to give me your immediate, gut reactions to the questions that I ask you.  If you think about an answer too long, you will be disqualified and will lose all the money you’ve won thus far in the game.

LM:  Oooh, less money, less problems.

CB:  Are you ready for the LIGHTNING ROUND?

LM:  No, probably not, but go ahead.

CB:  You’re off to a good start.

Eegee’s french fries: ranch or two ranches?

LM:  One ranch.

CB:  Spring Fling or Pima County Fair?

LM:  Pima County Fair.

CB:  Sixth Ave or Sixth St?

LM:  I never know which one is which.

CB:  Yard sales on a Sunday morning or the Swap Meet on a Saturday night?

LM:  Swap Meet on a Saturday night for the drive-in movie.

CB:  Which is more annoying: people who misspell “Tucson” or people from Phoenix?

LM:  Oh God, well, aside from the fact that most of them are the same people, probably people from Phoenix.

CB:  Preferred Gem Show purchase: “authentic” arrowheads or anything-turquoise?

LM:  Turquoise, it goes better with a blonde. [Note: buy this beer]

CB:  Sabino Canyon or Mt. Lemmon?

LM:  Sabino Canyon is a part of Mt. Lemmon. [Note: Asshole!]

CB:  Garry Shandling or Craig T. Nelson?

LM:  Craig T. Nelson. [Note: See?]

CB:  And finally, Sour Blonde--Les Mains--finish this sentence: “Tucson is…”

LM:  “...a city.” ------ Les Mains, the sour blonde, can be found on tap at the taproom at Dragoon Brewing (1859 W Grant Rd #111) starting October 14th and will be there until supplies run out.  There will also be the previously mentioned sipping session at Good Oak Bar on October 18th from 6 - 9PM, as well as sipping sessions (and release parties) at Tap and Bottle Downtown Thursday, October 19th, at 6PM and at Tap and Bottle North on Friday, October 20th, also at 6PM.

[dorothyd89]

The 10 Key Differences Between Weight Loss Success and Failure

“NEW YEAR, NEW YOU!” 

At some point in the past two days, you probably said something like the following:

“Alright, time to lose this gut. “

“This year I’m gonna tone these arms and fix these love handles.”

“Holy crap I really let myself go. Is that Cheeto dust…on my forehead? Yikes.”

And thus, we begin our search for the promised land of effortless, enjoyable weight loss:

We want that one workout that scientists hate that finally melts the fat off our midsections and makes us look like Wonder Woman.

We gorge on acai bowls and omega-3 supplements and get excited about the latest article that says red wine is a health food as we polish off another bottle.

We go through a series of follies in search of a get-fit-quick fantasy that never actually comes to fruition, like Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Reality paints a much different picture:

A flat stomach doesn’t come in a bottle or in a workout DVD.

It comes from boring consistent action over months and years. Gross.

I have seen tens of thousands of people collectively lose millions of pounds since I started Nerd Fitness almost a decade ago.

At the same time, I have also seen hundreds of thousands of people chase the latest health fad, lose a few pounds, and end up a year later right back where they started. Every year, I have seen packed gyms in January become ghost towns in February.

No wonder a 2016 British study declared, “We’re doomed to stay fat.”[1]

So what gives?

This year, what will separate the people who make new years resolutions and STICK with them, and those that give up after a few weeks?

With over 40,000 students in our flagship online course, the Nerd Fitness Academy, 150 1-on-1 coaching clients, and 10 years with thousands of emails and success stories, I created this monster resource that dives deep into the key habits that will actually help you get in shape this year.

Here are the 10 key strategies that separate the Healthy from the Unhealthy – start doing these things today and you’ll actually make progress that lasts:

1. have a Growth Mindset.

Your mom was right: you are a unique snowflake.

That means there are ton of things that affect why you’ve gained weight over the past decade(s) and why you struggle to lose it:

Genetics

Age

Gender

Stress level

Home environment

Mental health

Activity level

Nutrition

All of these things play a factor in what you look like and how healthy you are. Despite these various factors, I’ve seen a common thread in people who build healthy habits and stick with them:

A Growth mindset.

Let’s get nerdy for a second (you’re reading Nerd Fitness after all). I assume you’re familiar with Groot, the tree-like superhero from Guardians of the Galaxy. He can grow and change his shape to suit the situation. He also only says, “I am Groot,” but that’s less applicable here.

HOW TO BUILD A MINDSET LIKE GROOT:

Unhealthy Person: “I have bad genetics. My parents are overweight. I am busy. I have children. I have a slow metabolism. I’m never going to be able to lose weight. This plan won’t work for me because [excuse to let myself off the hook]. I’m the fat guy/gal and that’s all there is to it.”

Habit Building Badass: “I have bad genetics. My parents are overweight. I am busy. I have children. Soooo….How can I make this work for me in my situation? I know people like me who have lost weight, which is a great sign. I refuse to accept that I am a lost cause. I am Groot.”

Even if it isn’t your fault where you are, accept that it’s your personal responsibility to deal with it.

We all have emotional, visceral responses to what we see in the mirror or how we feel when we wake up. We need to cut through the emotion and get to the truth: we alone are responsible for our fate, and that means we alone can fix it.

Like Groot, you can change and grow.

You’ll learn that your excuses are moot – if busier, older, fatter, poorer, and more injured people than you can get in shape, you can too.

So, decide TODAY that this year that you are a“a healthy, habit-building badass” and then simply do the things that perpetually healthy nerds do. With each meal or each decision, ask yourself “what would a healthy person do?” And then do that.

2. know Your “Big Why”.

The road to perpetual weight loss and healthiness is fraught with peril.

Even the best-laid plans and New Years Resolutions will end up in a ditch on the side of the road unless you have a damn good reason.

After all, life gets busy and it’s Taco Tuesday and a new video game just came out and your kid is sick and you just don’t feel like exercising and it’s cold. There will ALWAYS be something.

You will never not be busy.

That perseverance will from a damn good answer to the question: “Why?”

Not just “Because I need to lose weight,” but two levels deeper: WHY you want to lose weight. That’s the motivation and answer you need to be reminded of to persevere over the next few months.

If your answer is: “I’m here because my doctor/wife/husband thinks I should lose weight. I know I should exercise more and do more.” you are doomed. You will give up at the first sign of adversity.

Compare this to the raw, deep, honest answers we get from Nerd Fitness Academy members when we ask about their “Big WHY”:

“I’m here because my dad died of a heart attack at age 45, and I don’t want my kids growing up without a father like I did.”

“I’m here because I want my husband/wife to look at me the way he/she used to, and I want us to grow old together.”

“I’m here because I just got dumped and I want to get healthy so I can start dating again. I don’t want people swiping left on my photos anymore.”

“I’m here because I want to look in the mirror and be proud of what I see. I want to stop hiding behind others in photographs.”

Why are you here? Why do you want to build healthy habits?

Is your reason for being here more important to you than cake? If it isn’t, you’re gonna give up at the first sign of adversity.

Write down your Great Big Why – and go deep, my friend. Way down. And ask yourself “Why?” to the answer of each of your questions until you get to the root of your reason for being here.

Once you write that answer down, hang it up somewhere you can see it every day: fridge, cubicle, bathroom mirror. Accept responsibility for your current situation, be compassionate, and also accept that you CAN change, and your identity can change with small wins that prove it.

3. don’t go on a diet. adjust Your nutrition.

Perpetually unhealthy people have a love/hate relationship with diets.

Mostly hate.

They go on diets all the time – especially in early January, and then they go off diets. And then they go on another diet. And then they find another diet that’s supposed to promise even faster, easier weight loss, so they switch to that one.

Unhealthy people get dieting wrong from the start, and this is what dooms them.

Unhealthy people go on a diet for a month or two, and they can’t wait to go back to “eating normally.” The problem is that their “eating normally” is the reason why they’re overweight in the first place.

Temporary changes to one’s eating results in temporary changes to one’s weight and physique.

Like an addict chasing the next high, somebody consistently has to chase the next diet because their normal eating is the problem in the first place!

And yup, dieting sucks.

Starvation, eliminating favorite foods, and trying to use willpower to avoid candy and sweets is a terrible strategy, so stop doing it.

No wonder people abandon diets as soon as they start them; they think, “If this is what it takes to be skinny, I’d rather stay fat and happy.”

This year, never go on a diet ever again.

Instead, come to terms with this: “My concept of ‘normal eating’ is broken, which means it needs to change permanently in order for me to get healthy.”

Think about that for a second.

If you “never get to be done” with your nutrition, and you can’t go back to how you were eating before, then the ONLY way permanent success happens is if you actually enjoy your new “normal.”

Stop going on diets!

No more diet pills, cleanses or crazy 30-day strategies.

Nothing you do can be temporary, or the results will be temporary.

Instead you are going to make deliberate, incremental permanent changes to your daily nutrition, slowly, over a period of many months.

Eat to line up with your goals.

If you are afraid of giving up something, don’t! Make the unhealthy foods more of a treat and less of a daily indulgence:

If giving up soda forever is scary, slowly cut back from 12 a day down to one a day.

If giving up pasta forever sounds like a life not worth living, learn about portion sizes and make it an experience (only at restaurants, for example).

The same goes for diet pills and supplements – Supplements cannot replace a good nutrition strategy.

When you think about getting healthy this year, think in terms of days and years, not weeks and months:

Know that it took years for you to get to your current physique, and it’s going to take months if not years to correct it. This means you HAVE to enjoy the journey.

Once you accept that you never get to be “done,” you can start picking small adjustments or changes that won’t scare you away from adhering to your plan.

4.know what’s in the food You eat.

Did you know that when it comes to weight loss, your nutrition choices will account for 90% of your success or failure?

In the Nerd Fitness Rebellion, we refer to this as the “you can’t outrun your fork” rule.

Seriously. 90+ PERCENT of the equation. 

Tattoo this on your forehead. Hire somebody to skywrite it above your home every day. Pay somebody to call you every morning and remind you of this fact.

Whatever it takes to get you to realize that changing your eating habits will be the fastest (and only) path to weight loss in 2018.

And it starts by educating yourself about your food.

Make a habit of knowing what’s in the food you eat! 

Whether it’s portion control, calorie counting, tracking macros, or even keeping a food journal, it’s important to have rough idea of the nutritional breakdown of the food you consume regularly.

After all, GI Joe tells us that “Knowing is half the battle!”

The other half is lasers:

With each meal tracked, this habits adds up to knowing what needs to happen every day for you to get healthy.

Sugar is a big culprit in spiking insulin and thus contributes to making waistlines larger, which means checking the labels on the foods you’re consuming for sugar is a great habit to get into.

Speaking of sugar, let’s see a common pitfall you can start to avoid. Here are two different beverages:

Coca-Cola (20 oz): 240 calories, 65 g of carbs (65 g of sugar)

Naked Juice Green Machine (15 oz): 270 calories, 63 g of carbs (55 g of sugar)

Look at those two things above: one is a can of cola that you know is bad for you, the other is marketed as a “healthy beverage.”

They’re both terrible for you!

Don’t fall for the hype: read the label, and break free of the Matrix!

Learn about the food you’re eating. You’re an adult, you can take 3 minutes and Google it.

Once you know the composition of your meals, you can start to make subtle adjustments or change quantities over time as you start to approach a healthier weight.

Be okay with “good enough” to start, and get more accurate as time goes on.

What’s that? You don’t know how to eat healthy? I got you, boo: “A beginner’s guide to healthy eating.”

For each food, learn the following:

Total calories

Serving size

Fat

Protein

Carbs (especially sugar)

Don’t overthink this: Write down what you eat every day for a week. If your weight isn’t changing, adjust down total calories and minimize sugar consumption and see how your weight changes.

Make small adjustments over time and see how your body responds.

Speaking of goals…

5. use Blueprints and Blocks to Create Goals.

Perpetually unhealthy people say things like “I’m going to exercise more this year!”

Goals like this are cloudy with no real markers of success.

With no beacon guiding them, perpetually unhealthy people don’t know if they’re on track, and there’s no accountability if they don’t succeed. These goals get tossed in the abandoned pile next to goals like “I’m gonna start flossing!”

Compare this to what you’re going to do in 2018:

Pick a reachable blueprint to follow: an outcome-based goal.

Place the blocks to build that blueprint: a habit-based goal.

Let’s see this in action: “I want to lose X amount of weight by X date.”

With a very specific goal and a specific timeline, we can work backwards to calculate how much weight we need to lose each week to build that blueprint: our target weight.

Once you know where you want to be a year from now – you can then just focus on what you need to do TODAY.

Want to lose 50 pounds by the end of the year?

That’s one pound per week. And that can happen by making a single change today and every day moving forward.

Focusing on the habit (“today I’m going to drink only one soda instead of 3, and have one vegetable”) allows you to not get overwhelmed at the big picture.

In Minecraft terms, once you have the blueprints for a replica of Rivendell from Lord of the Rings, all you have to focus on is placing the next block in the right place. And then repeat!

Eventually, you’ll have Rivendell:

Here’s a real-life example of this block-placing mentality:

“My goal is to reach my goal weight of 150 pounds by December 1st, 2018, so I will eat one vegetable every day, and I will strength train for 30 minutes, two days per week. On other days, I’ll go for a 10 minute walk.”

What happens when you do this: you stop worrying about the outcome, and instead JUST focus on the habit you have to do today.

It allows you to very easily answer the question: “Yes I placed the block” or “no I did not place the block.”

You either ate a vegetable today or you didn’t.

You either exercised for 30 minutes today or you didn’t.

Make sure you are picking a blueprint that you can build (it’s not overly optimistic), and keep things simple. A target weight loss goal of 1 pound per week is reasonable and sustainable. Remember that the focus should be on SUSTAINABLE progress – not “progress at any cost.”

Once you start reaching goals you can create more complex plans.

Or in fantasy terms, after you finally slay the dragon, go find a bigger one!

6. You don’t HAVE to exercise, You GET to exercise.

Unhealthy people treat exercise as a miserable means to an end: “I’ll exercise until I reach my goal weight and then I can stop this exercise stuff and go back to what I was doing before.”

Temporary changes, miserable strategy, temporary results… sound familiar?

They run on a treadmill because they think they should, but they hate it, and they never want to go back. Or they get dragged to a class with a friend and the class ruins fitness for them.

They do their best to build the habit, but they’re so unhappy and unexcited about the exercise that the habit never sticks.

Look, here’s the truth: “exercise” sucks.

So you’re going to stop doing “exercise.”

I’ve heard from Nerd Fitness Academy members time and time again: “I can’t believe it, but I actually look forward to exercising now. How did THAT happen?”

What’s going on here?

Because nutrition is 90% of the battle, building a habit of exercise and movement is more important than what specific type of exercise you choose:

adult gymnastics

swing dancing

ultimate frisbee

martial arts

hiking (or even just walking!)

strength training.

Whatever gets you off your ass and out the door. If there’s a type of exercise they HATE…don’t do it.

You don’t have to exercise in a way that you hate.

Pick the kind of exercise that makes you come alive. Don’t have that form of exercise yet? Try new things!

Especially the stuff that doesn’t feel like exercise.

Nutrition is 90% of the battle, so the exercise can be something that you enjoy, that reminds you to make better food choices so your efforts don’t go to waste.

Desperate to lose weight faster? In addition to fixing your nutrition, try temptation bundling to get you to go to the gym.

Have a specific physique in mind (six pack, toned arms, a better butt, broader chest, etc.)? Build the body you want and get hooked on improvement: “I can’t wait to go to the gym and find out how much stronger I got today compared to last week.”

You are a video game character increasing your strength attribute with each training session.

7. They invest in their health like a 401(k).

When it comes down to our health, we can invest in three ways:

Our Time

Our Effort

Our Money

Healthy habit-building badasses know this and prioritize accordingly: they know investing in their health is the best decision they can make. So they decide what’s the correct balance of time, effort, and money to use for that investment.

Your health is an investment just like your net worth:

If you want to devote your effort and time to building your own workouts, crafting your own meal plans, and keeping yourself accountable, that’s awesome. I did this for myself for years.

You might decide to outsource your programming to a coach, recruit an accountability partner, or buy into a program that creates your workouts and nutrition for you.

Either way, this is a months or years-long process that requires discipline! Every day you get a tiny bit better compounds upon the day before and builds you a big nestegg (read: a great physique) that will keep you wealthy (read: healthy) for decades and decades.

We’ve had thousands of people who read all the free content on Nerd Fitness for years with no results, because they never invested in themselves.

However the second they finally invested in The Nerd Fitness Academy or joined Rising Heroes (our monthly habit building adventure) or hired a 1-on-1 coach, they took action and lost weight within months.

Why?

Because we VALUE what we pay for and invest in, making us more likely to actually do the damn thing. And we don’t value what we get for free or take for granted.

Unhealthy people don’t look at all of this stuff rationally – they complain about spending 99 cents on an iPhone app that could dramatically improve the quality of their life, and then gladly spend $6 on a sugary Starbucks beverage each morning without a second thought.

People email me all the time asking “Why should I pay for a course when there is free information online.” Welp, there has been free information online for decades – has it gotten you in shape yet? Maybe there’s a point to investing in yourself!

Your money, your time, and your effort are all limited resources: how you choose to spend each of them tells me a lot about your priorities.

Personally, I gladly pay hundreds of dollars every month for my own online fitness coach.

Many probably think I’m crazy and that this is a waste of money (“just do your own workouts!”), but I feel that it’s the best money I spend every month, and it’s why I’ve prioritized it over other expenses.

I’m not just paying for a workout plan in an excel document.

I am paying for accountability from somebody who is checking in on me, expertise from a trained professional who can spot my weaknesses, and the knowledge that I’ll actually do the workout because I’m spending my hard-earned money on it.

And it got me the results that had eluded me for a decade.

It’s not what you say is a priority, it’s what you spend your time or money on that’s a priority.

Prioritize your money and time on the best stuff, even at the expense of other creature comforts, and you’re more likely to get in shape because you’ll actually care about it.

Answer these questions:

How much money do you spend on your health?

How much time and effort do you devote to creating your workouts or fine-tuning your nutrition?

Have you ever hired a coach or paid for an online course

Do you buy apps or software that make your life easier, or do you try to get by with free stuff that you know you won’t actually use?

Sometimes spending money is the best investment you can make in yourself – because you KNOW that the free option is something you won’t stick with! 

Although you have a free gym in your apartment complex, pay money to join a gym near work with fitness classes, because you hate working out alone and if you know people are counting on you to show up.

Pre-pay for 20 trainer sessions – if you’ve already paid for it and scheduled the workouts, you’ll actually GO.

On vacation and afraid you’ll backslide on all habits? Pay $20-30 to just go to a gym for one hour on vacation. Expensive? Not when you compare it to the weeks spent after the vacation trying to get back on track.

Decide what to sacrifice. It might mean you have to skip movies out or cancel your cable to prioritize a healthy meal service or buy more cookbooks so you never get bored with cooking new healthy meals.

Start thinking about this from a different perspective:

You’re not buying a fitness course or a trainer or an overpriced salad (that you would never make for yourself anyways).

You’re not just hiring a coach that prescribes you a workout that you could have found for free on the internet.

You’re investing in your future and purchasing accountability and expertise and momentum.

And NEVER underestimate momentum.

8. Go All In On Momentum.

Remember that Isaac Newton guy?

“An object at rest tends to stay at rest, and an object in motion tends to stay in motion, unless acted on by another force.”

This is called “inertia,” and nothing could be more applicable when it comes to your health.

Unhealthy people have a LOT of inertia to overcome when they are trying to build healthy habits and get in shape:

Their body is used to sitting on a couch and eating junk food, which means the habit of exercise is agonizing. They have to convince themselves to get off the couch and go out into the wilderness. Eating vegetables and healthy food sucks compared to their normal comfort food.

But they use max effort to do these things a few times, and momentum starts to shift away from unhealthy and towards healthy.

And that’s when things fall apart.

Their kid gets sick or they work late and they miss a workout. Not the end of the world, right? But then it snows the next day, and one missed workout day becomes two, which becomes a month in the blink of an eye.

And shit, they’re back to square one.

We are going to focus instead on cultivating and protecting  your momentum. Invest their time and money in momentum-building or momentum-protecting products or services.

Shit happens. Travel. Vacation. Kids. Work. Life.

So they focus on doing whatever they can to build momentum quickly and maintain it.

Perpetual health doesn’t happen in days, or with a few decisions. It takes months (or more likely, years) of consistent effort.

It’s more than just “missing a workout.” It’s killing your momentum, and momentum is crucial to long term healthiness.

Momentum is crucial to being perpetually healthy, so protect it with your life.

So, focus on momentum until their default behavior is healthy and they can go on autopilot:

Exercise 4 days per week without fail. Yes, even on vacation. Yup, even if it’s only push-ups for 5 minutes.

Go for a morning walk every single day, even when it’s snowing.

Schedule workouts for early Saturday morning with a trainer so they know they can’t drink like a fish on Friday night.

Put your workouts in your calendar. Have your friend give $50 of your money to a cause you hate every time you miss a workout.

Because momentum.

Which means you should be following my favorite rule: never miss two in a row.

Two missed workouts quickly becomes 30 in the blink of an eye. Two bad meals quickly becomes a week of pizza and Chinese food.

Live by the “never two in a row,” and build momentum with daily goals.

9. know Your Kryptonite.

I want to share an important quote from the late, great physicist Richard Feynman:

“The first principle is that you must not fool yourself – and you are the easiest person to fool.”

Unhealthy people might be aware of their Kryptonite, but they just hope and pray they have enough willpower to overcome it every day.

They eat a single Oreo, and then spend an hour thinking about cookies until they go eat a whole sleeve of Oreo cookies and then berate themselves for not having more willpower to avoid the temptation.

The truth is that we are all flawed superheroes.

Unhealthy people try to fix their flaws through sheer willpower and then feel deep shame when they can’t stop their behavior.

Permanently healthy people recognize their Kryptonite, and have a plan to avoid or protect against it:

If they know grains make them unhappy and bloated, they follow a Paleo diet and remove those foods completely so there’s no attempt to only eat half a serving of something.

If they know they struggle with portion control, then maybe they try skipping a meal with Intermittent Fasting.

They also ask the questions that get to the heart of their Kryptonite with regards to weight gain:

Maybe they eat when they’re bored.

Maybe they eat when they’re upset.

Maybe they eat when they’re nervous.

Maybe they eat when they’re watching TV.

They KNOW these things about themselves, and they know unhealthy food has been designed to be addictive.

So they plan for it!

Know thyself, my dear friend, and know what your triggers are.

We’re all flawed; plan for your flaws instead of trying to fight them. These triggers can be environmental or situational or emotional. Know it will happen, and build a Kryptonite-proof plan so you don’t have to worry about avoiding it.

Stop relying on motivation and willpower to tackle your Kryptonite.

Add accountability, punishments, and rewards into your life to stay on track and avoid your Kryptonite:

Check in with someone everyday to make sure they ate their vegetables.

Instruct your friend to donate your $50 to a politician you hate if you miss a workout check-in.

Reward yourself with new running shoes (a reward that rewards you back with more momentum) if you complete 20 runs in a single month.

Don’t go to certain bars or make sure you eat before going to a party, because you KNOW you’ll make a bad decision once you get there.

Build your batcave (your environment) so it’s tougher to make unhealthy decisions and easier to make healthy ones.

Don’t go out to dinner at unhealthy restaurants, and schedule early workouts on Saturdays so you won’t drink yourself silly on Friday.

You don’t need to be flawless. You don’t need a perfect plan. What you do need is to have an honest conversation with yourself about things you need to avoid while you’re trying to make healthier choices.

That might be certain restaurants, certain aisles of the supermarket, or even certain people….

10. Your are surrounded by supporters, not anchors

You are the average of the 5 people you associate most with.

Are they banana peels?

Or are they Lakitus?

Banana peels need no introduction: drive over one in Mario Kart and they’ll ruin a perfectly good race by crushing all of your momentum.

Compare that to Lakitu. If you’re not familiar, he’s the little guy on the cloud in mario Kart that picks you up when you fall off the track and puts you back on course.

Unhealthy people get spun out all the time by the banana peels in their lives:

“What do you mean you don’t want to eat my lasagna anymore? You love my cooking.”

“Everybody is coming over to play D&D and eat pizza, you can’t miss this.”

“You don’t need to lose weight. You look fine. Live a little. Come on.”

Questions and comments like these subtly influence our behavior every day. Which is how you end up looking like and acting like the 5 people you associate most with. 

Compare this to Lakitus: the people who want you to succeed, who hold you accountable and make you want to be better.

I recently asked our private men’s community from the Nerd Fitness Academy what the group meant to them.

This response jumped out at me:

You need to be surrounded by people that pick you up, not slow you down.

Healthy people know this, and they make the hard decisions about who is worthy of their time and attention.

They often fire their unhealthy friends and family – even if only temporarily – because they can’t be around negative influence as they’re trying to build momentum.

I’ve heard of tons of stories where unhealthy relationships have ended because a newly healthy individual was dating an unhealthy person who didn’t want them to be healthy and was actively sabotaging them.

Why does this happen? Because it’s often easier to drag other people down than it is to look honestly in the mirror and address one’s shortcomings or unhealthy. 

If you are trying to get healthy, minimize your time around banana peels and MAXIMIZE your time with Lakitus.

You are influenced dramatically by the people around you whether you realize it or not. How are these people influencing you?

Take exercise:

Banana Peel: You want to exercise, but your friends are mad at you for skipping a Destiny 2 or World of Warcraft raid… you’re going to skip the workout.

Lakitu: You want to exercise, and your friends are at the gym counting on you for a team workout… you’re gonna get your ass to the gym!

Food:

Banana Peel: You are out to dinner with friends and they order lasagna, chicken fingers and fries, a large pizza, and enchiladas. You’ll likely order junk food to fit in, rather than order a salad and endure their scorn.

Lakitu: You are at a healthy restaurant and all 4 people order salads before you order – I’d bet $1000 you’re going to order something healthy too.

Mental health:

Banana Peel: You have 5 friends who never talk about anything serious: how are you supposed to tell them about your depression medication or that you’re thinking about going to see a therapist?

Lakitu: You have 5 friends who are not only accepting of your flaws, but share theirs too and have advice for you.

Decide who is worthy of your attention, and work on putting yourself in situations with people who make you want to be better.

This might mean a serious conversation with your significant other that “likes you more full-figured” if your goal is to be healthier and happier.

Or diving deep into deflection strategies if you have to constantly deal with unhealthy family members you can’t fire.

If they are worth your time, they will change their tune to be more supportive and helpful and less of an anchor.

And then start spending time around people who are stronger, healthier, happier, and more successful than you. And do what they do.

Use 20 seconds of courage to strike up a conversation with someone at the gym on how to do a certain exercise, and make plans to train together the next day.

Join a running club at work, or start a running club if one doesn’t exist yet.

If you don’t have people in real life cheering them on, find an online group that pushes them to be better.

How is 2018 Going to Be Different?

Phew! Okay, let’s see how many of these you can actually check off:

I have a Growth Mindset

I know my Big Why

I don’t go on diets. I adjust my nutrition.

I know what my food is made of.

I have blueprints and blocks.

I don’t have to exercise; I GET to.

I invest in my health like a 401(k).

I go all in on momentum.

I know my Kryptonite.

I seek out Lakitus, not banana peels.

Give yourself a score, and let me know which ones are the toughest for you to follow through on.

If you checked 6 or fewer boxes, pick ONE of the habits and work on it for the next month. Internalize it. Make it part of your new identity. And then move onto the next one.

You’re overcoming inertia and building momentum!

And NEVER underestimate momentum.

Agree with the list? Disagree?

Did I leave one off?

Leave that in the comments too!

Also, congratulations, you just finished the longest article in the history of Nerd Fitness – give yourself a high five.

-Steve

PS: If you are somebody that is interested in investing in their health right now, these are the three paths available to this community:

Join the Nerd Fitness Academy – a one time fee for lifetime access. Follow the workout plans, adjust your mental attitude, follow our 10 level diet system and have a private community to support you.

Hire a Nerd Fitness Coach – expert accountability, Yoda-like guidance, and handcrafted workout and nutrition plans based on your specific life situation.

Check out Rising Heroes – our monthly team-based story driven adventure. Get new real-world missions each week that make you healthier and help us take down a sinister shadow organization.

If you are looking to invest in yourself, I hope to see you in one of these programs!

photo credit: Reiterlied Rex across the fields, Meeting Star Lord and Baby Groot, benjaminreay Big question mark, Mark Bonica Paleo Diet – Day 14, clement127 Chicken factory, post-apocalyptic research institute 3mm model, sualk61 Hamster wheel, evoo73 balance, hjl Kryptonite on Blue, Reiterlied Biking on the Lake

Footnotes    ( returns to text)

You can read the article about the study here: source

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[dorothyd89]

The 10 Key Differences Between Weight Loss Success and Failure

“NEW YEAR, NEW YOU!” 

At some point in the past two days, you probably said something like the following:

“Alright, time to lose this gut. “

“This year I’m gonna tone these arms and fix these love handles.”

“Holy crap I really let myself go. Is that Cheeto dust…on my forehead? Yikes.”

And thus, we begin our search for the promised land of effortless, enjoyable weight loss:

We want that one workout that scientists hate that finally melts the fat off our midsections and makes us look like Wonder Woman.

We gorge on acai bowls and omega-3 supplements and get excited about the latest article that says red wine is a health food as we polish off another bottle.

We go through a series of follies in search of a get-fit-quick fantasy that never actually comes to fruition, like Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Reality paints a much different picture:

A flat stomach doesn’t come in a bottle or in a workout DVD.

It comes from boring consistent action over months and years. Gross.

I have seen tens of thousands of people collectively lose millions of pounds since I started Nerd Fitness almost a decade ago.

At the same time, I have also seen hundreds of thousands of people chase the latest health fad, lose a few pounds, and end up a year later right back where they started. Every year, I have seen packed gyms in January become ghost towns in February.

No wonder a 2016 British study declared, “We’re doomed to stay fat.”[1]

So what gives?

This year, what will separate the people who make new years resolutions and STICK with them, and those that give up after a few weeks?

With over 40,000 students in our flagship online course, the Nerd Fitness Academy, 150 1-on-1 coaching clients, and 10 years with thousands of emails and success stories, I created this monster resource that dives deep into the key habits that will actually help you get in shape this year.

Here are the 10 key strategies that separate the Healthy from the Unhealthy – start doing these things today and you’ll actually make progress that lasts:

1. have a Growth Mindset.

Your mom was right: you are a unique snowflake.

That means there are ton of things that affect why you’ve gained weight over the past decade(s) and why you struggle to lose it:

Genetics

Age

Gender

Stress level

Home environment

Mental health

Activity level

Nutrition

All of these things play a factor in what you look like and how healthy you are. Despite these various factors, I’ve seen a common thread in people who build healthy habits and stick with them:

A Growth mindset.

Let’s get nerdy for a second (you’re reading Nerd Fitness after all). I assume you’re familiar with Groot, the tree-like superhero from Guardians of the Galaxy. He can grow and change his shape to suit the situation. He also only says, “I am Groot,” but that’s less applicable here.

HOW TO BUILD A MINDSET LIKE GROOT:

Unhealthy Person: “I have bad genetics. My parents are overweight. I am busy. I have children. I have a slow metabolism. I’m never going to be able to lose weight. This plan won’t work for me because [excuse to let myself off the hook]. I’m the fat guy/gal and that’s all there is to it.”

Habit Building Badass: “I have bad genetics. My parents are overweight. I am busy. I have children. Soooo….How can I make this work for me in my situation? I know people like me who have lost weight, which is a great sign. I refuse to accept that I am a lost cause. I am Groot.”

Even if it isn’t your fault where you are, accept that it’s your personal responsibility to deal with it.

We all have emotional, visceral responses to what we see in the mirror or how we feel when we wake up. We need to cut through the emotion and get to the truth: we alone are responsible for our fate, and that means we alone can fix it.

Like Groot, you can change and grow.

You’ll learn that your excuses are moot – if busier, older, fatter, poorer, and more injured people than you can get in shape, you can too.

So, decide TODAY that this year that you are a“a healthy, habit-building badass” and then simply do the things that perpetually healthy nerds do. With each meal or each decision, ask yourself “what would a healthy person do?” And then do that.

2. know Your “Big Why”.

The road to perpetual weight loss and healthiness is fraught with peril.

Even the best-laid plans and New Years Resolutions will end up in a ditch on the side of the road unless you have a damn good reason.

After all, life gets busy and it’s Taco Tuesday and a new video game just came out and your kid is sick and you just don’t feel like exercising and it’s cold. There will ALWAYS be something.

You will never not be busy.

That perseverance will from a damn good answer to the question: “Why?”

Not just “Because I need to lose weight,” but two levels deeper: WHY you want to lose weight. That’s the motivation and answer you need to be reminded of to persevere over the next few months.

If your answer is: “I’m here because my doctor/wife/husband thinks I should lose weight. I know I should exercise more and do more.” you are doomed. You will give up at the first sign of adversity.

Compare this to the raw, deep, honest answers we get from Nerd Fitness Academy members when we ask about their “Big WHY”:

“I’m here because my dad died of a heart attack at age 45, and I don’t want my kids growing up without a father like I did.”

“I’m here because I want my husband/wife to look at me the way he/she used to, and I want us to grow old together.”

“I’m here because I just got dumped and I want to get healthy so I can start dating again. I don’t want people swiping left on my photos anymore.”

“I’m here because I want to look in the mirror and be proud of what I see. I want to stop hiding behind others in photographs.”

Why are you here? Why do you want to build healthy habits?

Is your reason for being here more important to you than cake? If it isn’t, you’re gonna give up at the first sign of adversity.

Write down your Great Big Why – and go deep, my friend. Way down. And ask yourself “Why?” to the answer of each of your questions until you get to the root of your reason for being here.

Once you write that answer down, hang it up somewhere you can see it every day: fridge, cubicle, bathroom mirror. Accept responsibility for your current situation, be compassionate, and also accept that you CAN change, and your identity can change with small wins that prove it.

3. don’t go on a diet. adjust Your nutrition.

Perpetually unhealthy people have a love/hate relationship with diets.

Mostly hate.

They go on diets all the time – especially in early January, and then they go off diets. And then they go on another diet. And then they find another diet that’s supposed to promise even faster, easier weight loss, so they switch to that one.

Unhealthy people get dieting wrong from the start, and this is what dooms them.

Unhealthy people go on a diet for a month or two, and they can’t wait to go back to “eating normally.” The problem is that their “eating normally” is the reason why they’re overweight in the first place.

Temporary changes to one’s eating results in temporary changes to one’s weight and physique.

Like an addict chasing the next high, somebody consistently has to chase the next diet because their normal eating is the problem in the first place!

And yup, dieting sucks.

Starvation, eliminating favorite foods, and trying to use willpower to avoid candy and sweets is a terrible strategy, so stop doing it.

No wonder people abandon diets as soon as they start them; they think, “If this is what it takes to be skinny, I’d rather stay fat and happy.”

This year, never go on a diet ever again.

Instead, come to terms with this: “My concept of ‘normal eating’ is broken, which means it needs to change permanently in order for me to get healthy.”

Think about that for a second.

If you “never get to be done” with your nutrition, and you can’t go back to how you were eating before, then the ONLY way permanent success happens is if you actually enjoy your new “normal.”

Stop going on diets!

No more diet pills, cleanses or crazy 30-day strategies.

Nothing you do can be temporary, or the results will be temporary.

Instead you are going to make deliberate, incremental permanent changes to your daily nutrition, slowly, over a period of many months.

Eat to line up with your goals.

If you are afraid of giving up something, don’t! Make the unhealthy foods more of a treat and less of a daily indulgence:

If giving up soda forever is scary, slowly cut back from 12 a day down to one a day.

If giving up pasta forever sounds like a life not worth living, learn about portion sizes and make it an experience (only at restaurants, for example).

The same goes for diet pills and supplements – Supplements cannot replace a good nutrition strategy.

When you think about getting healthy this year, think in terms of days and years, not weeks and months:

Know that it took years for you to get to your current physique, and it’s going to take months if not years to correct it. This means you HAVE to enjoy the journey.

Once you accept that you never get to be “done,” you can start picking small adjustments or changes that won’t scare you away from adhering to your plan.

4.know what’s in the food You eat.

Did you know that when it comes to weight loss, your nutrition choices will account for 90% of your success or failure?

In the Nerd Fitness Rebellion, we refer to this as the “you can’t outrun your fork” rule.

Seriously. 90+ PERCENT of the equation. 

Tattoo this on your forehead. Hire somebody to skywrite it above your home every day. Pay somebody to call you every morning and remind you of this fact.

Whatever it takes to get you to realize that changing your eating habits will be the fastest (and only) path to weight loss in 2018.

And it starts by educating yourself about your food.

Make a habit of knowing what’s in the food you eat! 

Whether it’s portion control, calorie counting, tracking macros, or even keeping a food journal, it’s important to have rough idea of the nutritional breakdown of the food you consume regularly.

After all, GI Joe tells us that “Knowing is half the battle!”

The other half is lasers:

With each meal tracked, this habits adds up to knowing what needs to happen every day for you to get healthy.

Sugar is a big culprit in spiking insulin and thus contributes to making waistlines larger, which means checking the labels on the foods you’re consuming for sugar is a great habit to get into.

Speaking of sugar, let’s see a common pitfall you can start to avoid. Here are two different beverages:

Coca-Cola (20 oz): 240 calories, 65 g of carbs (65 g of sugar)

Naked Juice Green Machine (15 oz): 270 calories, 63 g of carbs (55 g of sugar)

Look at those two things above: one is a can of cola that you know is bad for you, the other is marketed as a “healthy beverage.”

They’re both terrible for you!

Don’t fall for the hype: read the label, and break free of the Matrix!

Learn about the food you’re eating. You’re an adult, you can take 3 minutes and Google it.

Once you know the composition of your meals, you can start to make subtle adjustments or change quantities over time as you start to approach a healthier weight.

Be okay with “good enough” to start, and get more accurate as time goes on.

What’s that? You don’t know how to eat healthy? I got you, boo: “A beginner’s guide to healthy eating.”

For each food, learn the following:

Total calories

Serving size

Fat

Protein

Carbs (especially sugar)

Don’t overthink this: Write down what you eat every day for a week. If your weight isn’t changing, adjust down total calories and minimize sugar consumption and see how your weight changes.

Make small adjustments over time and see how your body responds.

Speaking of goals…

5. use Blueprints and Blocks to Create Goals.

Perpetually unhealthy people say things like “I’m going to exercise more this year!”

Goals like this are cloudy with no real markers of success.

With no beacon guiding them, perpetually unhealthy people don’t know if they’re on track, and there’s no accountability if they don’t succeed. These goals get tossed in the abandoned pile next to goals like “I’m gonna start flossing!”

Compare this to what you’re going to do in 2018:

Pick a reachable blueprint to follow: an outcome-based goal.

Place the blocks to build that blueprint: a habit-based goal.

Let’s see this in action: “I want to lose X amount of weight by X date.”

With a very specific goal and a specific timeline, we can work backwards to calculate how much weight we need to lose each week to build that blueprint: our target weight.

Once you know where you want to be a year from now – you can then just focus on what you need to do TODAY.

Want to lose 50 pounds by the end of the year?

That’s one pound per week. And that can happen by making a single change today and every day moving forward.

Focusing on the habit (“today I’m going to drink only one soda instead of 3, and have one vegetable”) allows you to not get overwhelmed at the big picture.

In Minecraft terms, once you have the blueprints for a replica of Rivendell from Lord of the Rings, all you have to focus on is placing the next block in the right place. And then repeat!

Eventually, you’ll have Rivendell:

Here’s a real-life example of this block-placing mentality:

“My goal is to reach my goal weight of 150 pounds by December 1st, 2018, so I will eat one vegetable every day, and I will strength train for 30 minutes, two days per week. On other days, I’ll go for a 10 minute walk.”

What happens when you do this: you stop worrying about the outcome, and instead JUST focus on the habit you have to do today.

It allows you to very easily answer the question: “Yes I placed the block” or “no I did not place the block.”

You either ate a vegetable today or you didn’t.

You either exercised for 30 minutes today or you didn’t.

Make sure you are picking a blueprint that you can build (it’s not overly optimistic), and keep things simple. A target weight loss goal of 1 pound per week is reasonable and sustainable. Remember that the focus should be on SUSTAINABLE progress – not “progress at any cost.”

Once you start reaching goals you can create more complex plans.

Or in fantasy terms, after you finally slay the dragon, go find a bigger one!

6. You don’t HAVE to exercise, You GET to exercise.

Unhealthy people treat exercise as a miserable means to an end: “I’ll exercise until I reach my goal weight and then I can stop this exercise stuff and go back to what I was doing before.”

Temporary changes, miserable strategy, temporary results… sound familiar?

They run on a treadmill because they think they should, but they hate it, and they never want to go back. Or they get dragged to a class with a friend and the class ruins fitness for them.

They do their best to build the habit, but they’re so unhappy and unexcited about the exercise that the habit never sticks.

Look, here’s the truth: “exercise” sucks.

So you’re going to stop doing “exercise.”

I’ve heard from Nerd Fitness Academy members time and time again: “I can’t believe it, but I actually look forward to exercising now. How did THAT happen?”

What’s going on here?

Because nutrition is 90% of the battle, building a habit of exercise and movement is more important than what specific type of exercise you choose:

adult gymnastics

swing dancing

ultimate frisbee

martial arts

hiking (or even just walking!)

strength training.

Whatever gets you off your ass and out the door. If there’s a type of exercise they HATE…don’t do it.

You don’t have to exercise in a way that you hate.

Pick the kind of exercise that makes you come alive. Don’t have that form of exercise yet? Try new things!

Especially the stuff that doesn’t feel like exercise.

Nutrition is 90% of the battle, so the exercise can be something that you enjoy, that reminds you to make better food choices so your efforts don’t go to waste.

Desperate to lose weight faster? In addition to fixing your nutrition, try temptation bundling to get you to go to the gym.

Have a specific physique in mind (six pack, toned arms, a better butt, broader chest, etc.)? Build the body you want and get hooked on improvement: “I can’t wait to go to the gym and find out how much stronger I got today compared to last week.”

You are a video game character increasing your strength attribute with each training session.

7. They invest in their health like a 401(k).

When it comes down to our health, we can invest in three ways:

Our Time

Our Effort

Our Money

Healthy habit-building badasses know this and prioritize accordingly: they know investing in their health is the best decision they can make. So they decide what’s the correct balance of time, effort, and money to use for that investment.

Your health is an investment just like your net worth:

If you want to devote your effort and time to building your own workouts, crafting your own meal plans, and keeping yourself accountable, that’s awesome. I did this for myself for years.

You might decide to outsource your programming to a coach, recruit an accountability partner, or buy into a program that creates your workouts and nutrition for you.

Either way, this is a months or years-long process that requires discipline! Every day you get a tiny bit better compounds upon the day before and builds you a big nestegg (read: a great physique) that will keep you wealthy (read: healthy) for decades and decades.

We’ve had thousands of people who read all the free content on Nerd Fitness for years with no results, because they never invested in themselves.

However the second they finally invested in The Nerd Fitness Academy or joined Rising Heroes (our monthly habit building adventure) or hired a 1-on-1 coach, they took action and lost weight within months.

Why?

Because we VALUE what we pay for and invest in, making us more likely to actually do the damn thing. And we don’t value what we get for free or take for granted.

Unhealthy people don’t look at all of this stuff rationally – they complain about spending 99 cents on an iPhone app that could dramatically improve the quality of their life, and then gladly spend $6 on a sugary Starbucks beverage each morning without a second thought.

People email me all the time asking “Why should I pay for a course when there is free information online.” Welp, there has been free information online for decades – has it gotten you in shape yet? Maybe there’s a point to investing in yourself!

Your money, your time, and your effort are all limited resources: how you choose to spend each of them tells me a lot about your priorities.

Personally, I gladly pay hundreds of dollars every month for my own online fitness coach.

Many probably think I’m crazy and that this is a waste of money (“just do your own workouts!”), but I feel that it’s the best money I spend every month, and it’s why I’ve prioritized it over other expenses.

I’m not just paying for a workout plan in an excel document.

I am paying for accountability from somebody who is checking in on me, expertise from a trained professional who can spot my weaknesses, and the knowledge that I’ll actually do the workout because I’m spending my hard-earned money on it.

And it got me the results that had eluded me for a decade.

It’s not what you say is a priority, it’s what you spend your time or money on that’s a priority.

Prioritize your money and time on the best stuff, even at the expense of other creature comforts, and you’re more likely to get in shape because you’ll actually care about it.

Answer these questions:

How much money do you spend on your health?

How much time and effort do you devote to creating your workouts or fine-tuning your nutrition?

Have you ever hired a coach or paid for an online course

Do you buy apps or software that make your life easier, or do you try to get by with free stuff that you know you won’t actually use?

Sometimes spending money is the best investment you can make in yourself – because you KNOW that the free option is something you won’t stick with! 

Although you have a free gym in your apartment complex, pay money to join a gym near work with fitness classes, because you hate working out alone and if you know people are counting on you to show up.

Pre-pay for 20 trainer sessions – if you’ve already paid for it and scheduled the workouts, you’ll actually GO.

On vacation and afraid you’ll backslide on all habits? Pay $20-30 to just go to a gym for one hour on vacation. Expensive? Not when you compare it to the weeks spent after the vacation trying to get back on track.

Decide what to sacrifice. It might mean you have to skip movies out or cancel your cable to prioritize a healthy meal service or buy more cookbooks so you never get bored with cooking new healthy meals.

Start thinking about this from a different perspective:

You’re not buying a fitness course or a trainer or an overpriced salad (that you would never make for yourself anyways).

You’re not just hiring a coach that prescribes you a workout that you could have found for free on the internet.

You’re investing in your future and purchasing accountability and expertise and momentum.

And NEVER underestimate momentum.

8. Go All In On Momentum.

Remember that Isaac Newton guy?

“An object at rest tends to stay at rest, and an object in motion tends to stay in motion, unless acted on by another force.”

This is called “inertia,” and nothing could be more applicable when it comes to your health.

Unhealthy people have a LOT of inertia to overcome when they are trying to build healthy habits and get in shape:

Their body is used to sitting on a couch and eating junk food, which means the habit of exercise is agonizing. They have to convince themselves to get off the couch and go out into the wilderness. Eating vegetables and healthy food sucks compared to their normal comfort food.

But they use max effort to do these things a few times, and momentum starts to shift away from unhealthy and towards healthy.

And that’s when things fall apart.

Their kid gets sick or they work late and they miss a workout. Not the end of the world, right? But then it snows the next day, and one missed workout day becomes two, which becomes a month in the blink of an eye.

And shit, they’re back to square one.

We are going to focus instead on cultivating and protecting  your momentum. Invest their time and money in momentum-building or momentum-protecting products or services.

Shit happens. Travel. Vacation. Kids. Work. Life.

So they focus on doing whatever they can to build momentum quickly and maintain it.

Perpetual health doesn’t happen in days, or with a few decisions. It takes months (or more likely, years) of consistent effort.

It’s more than just “missing a workout.” It’s killing your momentum, and momentum is crucial to long term healthiness.

Momentum is crucial to being perpetually healthy, so protect it with your life.

So, focus on momentum until their default behavior is healthy and they can go on autopilot:

Exercise 4 days per week without fail. Yes, even on vacation. Yup, even if it’s only push-ups for 5 minutes.

Go for a morning walk every single day, even when it’s snowing.

Schedule workouts for early Saturday morning with a trainer so they know they can’t drink like a fish on Friday night.

Put your workouts in your calendar. Have your friend give $50 of your money to a cause you hate every time you miss a workout.

Because momentum.

Which means you should be following my favorite rule: never miss two in a row.

Two missed workouts quickly becomes 30 in the blink of an eye. Two bad meals quickly becomes a week of pizza and Chinese food.

Live by the “never two in a row,” and build momentum with daily goals.

9. know Your Kryptonite.

I want to share an important quote from the late, great physicist Richard Feynman:

“The first principle is that you must not fool yourself – and you are the easiest person to fool.”

Unhealthy people might be aware of their Kryptonite, but they just hope and pray they have enough willpower to overcome it every day.

They eat a single Oreo, and then spend an hour thinking about cookies until they go eat a whole sleeve of Oreo cookies and then berate themselves for not having more willpower to avoid the temptation.

The truth is that we are all flawed superheroes.

Unhealthy people try to fix their flaws through sheer willpower and then feel deep shame when they can’t stop their behavior.

Permanently healthy people recognize their Kryptonite, and have a plan to avoid or protect against it:

If they know grains make them unhappy and bloated, they follow a Paleo diet and remove those foods completely so there’s no attempt to only eat half a serving of something.

If they know they struggle with portion control, then maybe they try skipping a meal with Intermittent Fasting.

They also ask the questions that get to the heart of their Kryptonite with regards to weight gain:

Maybe they eat when they’re bored.

Maybe they eat when they’re upset.

Maybe they eat when they’re nervous.

Maybe they eat when they’re watching TV.

They KNOW these things about themselves, and they know unhealthy food has been designed to be addictive.

So they plan for it!

Know thyself, my dear friend, and know what your triggers are.

We’re all flawed; plan for your flaws instead of trying to fight them. These triggers can be environmental or situational or emotional. Know it will happen, and build a Kryptonite-proof plan so you don’t have to worry about avoiding it.

Stop relying on motivation and willpower to tackle your Kryptonite.

Add accountability, punishments, and rewards into your life to stay on track and avoid your Kryptonite:

Check in with someone everyday to make sure they ate their vegetables.

Instruct your friend to donate your $50 to a politician you hate if you miss a workout check-in.

Reward yourself with new running shoes (a reward that rewards you back with more momentum) if you complete 20 runs in a single month.

Don’t go to certain bars or make sure you eat before going to a party, because you KNOW you’ll make a bad decision once you get there.

Build your batcave (your environment) so it’s tougher to make unhealthy decisions and easier to make healthy ones.

Don’t go out to dinner at unhealthy restaurants, and schedule early workouts on Saturdays so you won’t drink yourself silly on Friday.

You don’t need to be flawless. You don’t need a perfect plan. What you do need is to have an honest conversation with yourself about things you need to avoid while you’re trying to make healthier choices.

That might be certain restaurants, certain aisles of the supermarket, or even certain people….

10. Your are surrounded by supporters, not anchors

You are the average of the 5 people you associate most with.

Are they banana peels?

Or are they Lakitus?

Banana peels need no introduction: drive over one in Mario Kart and they’ll ruin a perfectly good race by crushing all of your momentum.

Compare that to Lakitu. If you’re not familiar, he’s the little guy on the cloud in mario Kart that picks you up when you fall off the track and puts you back on course.

Unhealthy people get spun out all the time by the banana peels in their lives:

“What do you mean you don’t want to eat my lasagna anymore? You love my cooking.”

“Everybody is coming over to play D&D and eat pizza, you can’t miss this.”

“You don’t need to lose weight. You look fine. Live a little. Come on.”

Questions and comments like these subtly influence our behavior every day. Which is how you end up looking like and acting like the 5 people you associate most with. 

Compare this to Lakitus: the people who want you to succeed, who hold you accountable and make you want to be better.

I recently asked our private men’s community from the Nerd Fitness Academy what the group meant to them.

This response jumped out at me:

You need to be surrounded by people that pick you up, not slow you down.

Healthy people know this, and they make the hard decisions about who is worthy of their time and attention.

They often fire their unhealthy friends and family – even if only temporarily – because they can’t be around negative influence as they’re trying to build momentum.

I’ve heard of tons of stories where unhealthy relationships have ended because a newly healthy individual was dating an unhealthy person who didn’t want them to be healthy and was actively sabotaging them.

Why does this happen? Because it’s often easier to drag other people down than it is to look honestly in the mirror and address one’s shortcomings or unhealthy. 

If you are trying to get healthy, minimize your time around banana peels and MAXIMIZE your time with Lakitus.

You are influenced dramatically by the people around you whether you realize it or not. How are these people influencing you?

Take exercise:

Banana Peel: You want to exercise, but your friends are mad at you for skipping a Destiny 2 or World of Warcraft raid… you’re going to skip the workout.

Lakitu: You want to exercise, and your friends are at the gym counting on you for a team workout… you’re gonna get your ass to the gym!

Food:

Banana Peel: You are out to dinner with friends and they order lasagna, chicken fingers and fries, a large pizza, and enchiladas. You’ll likely order junk food to fit in, rather than order a salad and endure their scorn.

Lakitu: You are at a healthy restaurant and all 4 people order salads before you order – I’d bet $1000 you’re going to order something healthy too.

Mental health:

Banana Peel: You have 5 friends who never talk about anything serious: how are you supposed to tell them about your depression medication or that you’re thinking about going to see a therapist?

Lakitu: You have 5 friends who are not only accepting of your flaws, but share theirs too and have advice for you.

Decide who is worthy of your attention, and work on putting yourself in situations with people who make you want to be better.

This might mean a serious conversation with your significant other that “likes you more full-figured” if your goal is to be healthier and happier.

Or diving deep into deflection strategies if you have to constantly deal with unhealthy family members you can’t fire.

If they are worth your time, they will change their tune to be more supportive and helpful and less of an anchor.

And then start spending time around people who are stronger, healthier, happier, and more successful than you. And do what they do.

Use 20 seconds of courage to strike up a conversation with someone at the gym on how to do a certain exercise, and make plans to train together the next day.

Join a running club at work, or start a running club if one doesn’t exist yet.

If you don’t have people in real life cheering them on, find an online group that pushes them to be better.

How is 2018 Going to Be Different?

Phew! Okay, let’s see how many of these you can actually check off:

I have a Growth Mindset

I know my Big Why

I don’t go on diets. I adjust my nutrition.

I know what my food is made of.

I have blueprints and blocks.

I don’t have to exercise; I GET to.

I invest in my health like a 401(k).

I go all in on momentum.

I know my Kryptonite.

I seek out Lakitus, not banana peels.

Give yourself a score, and let me know which ones are the toughest for you to follow through on.

If you checked 6 or fewer boxes, pick ONE of the habits and work on it for the next month. Internalize it. Make it part of your new identity. And then move onto the next one.

You’re overcoming inertia and building momentum!

And NEVER underestimate momentum.

Agree with the list? Disagree?

Did I leave one off?

Leave that in the comments too!

Also, congratulations, you just finished the longest article in the history of Nerd Fitness – give yourself a high five.

-Steve

PS: If you are somebody that is interested in investing in their health right now, these are the three paths available to this community:

Join the Nerd Fitness Academy – a one time fee for lifetime access. Follow the workout plans, adjust your mental attitude, follow our 10 level diet system and have a private community to support you.

Hire a Nerd Fitness Coach – expert accountability, Yoda-like guidance, and handcrafted workout and nutrition plans based on your specific life situation.

Check out Rising Heroes – our monthly team-based story driven adventure. Get new real-world missions each week that make you healthier and help us take down a sinister shadow organization.

If you are looking to invest in yourself, I hope to see you in one of these programs!

photo credit: Reiterlied Rex across the fields, Meeting Star Lord and Baby Groot, benjaminreay Big question mark, Mark Bonica Paleo Diet – Day 14, clement127 Chicken factory, post-apocalyptic research institute 3mm model, sualk61 Hamster wheel, evoo73 balance, hjl Kryptonite on Blue, Reiterlied Biking on the Lake

Footnotes    ( returns to text)

You can read the article about the study here: source

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[dorothyd89]

The 10 Key Differences Between Weight Loss Success and Failure

“NEW YEAR, NEW YOU!” 

At some point in the past two days, you probably said something like the following:

“Alright, time to lose this gut. “

“This year I’m gonna tone these arms and fix these love handles.”

“Holy crap I really let myself go. Is that Cheeto dust…on my forehead? Yikes.”

And thus, we begin our search for the promised land of effortless, enjoyable weight loss:

We want that one workout that scientists hate that finally melts the fat off our midsections and makes us look like Wonder Woman.

We gorge on acai bowls and omega-3 supplements and get excited about the latest article that says red wine is a health food as we polish off another bottle.

We go through a series of follies in search of a get-fit-quick fantasy that never actually comes to fruition, like Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Reality paints a much different picture:

A flat stomach doesn’t come in a bottle or in a workout DVD.

It comes from boring consistent action over months and years. Gross.

I have seen tens of thousands of people collectively lose millions of pounds since I started Nerd Fitness almost a decade ago.

At the same time, I have also seen hundreds of thousands of people chase the latest health fad, lose a few pounds, and end up a year later right back where they started. Every year, I have seen packed gyms in January become ghost towns in February.

No wonder a 2016 British study declared, “We’re doomed to stay fat.”[1]

So what gives?

This year, what will separate the people who make new years resolutions and STICK with them, and those that give up after a few weeks?

With over 40,000 students in our flagship online course, the Nerd Fitness Academy, 150 1-on-1 coaching clients, and 10 years with thousands of emails and success stories, I created this monster resource that dives deep into the key habits that will actually help you get in shape this year.

Here are the 10 key strategies that separate the Healthy from the Unhealthy – start doing these things today and you’ll actually make progress that lasts:

1. have a Growth Mindset.

Your mom was right: you are a unique snowflake.

That means there are ton of things that affect why you’ve gained weight over the past decade(s) and why you struggle to lose it:

Genetics

Age

Gender

Stress level

Home environment

Mental health

Activity level

Nutrition

All of these things play a factor in what you look like and how healthy you are. Despite these various factors, I’ve seen a common thread in people who build healthy habits and stick with them:

A Growth mindset.

Let’s get nerdy for a second (you’re reading Nerd Fitness after all). I assume you’re familiar with Groot, the tree-like superhero from Guardians of the Galaxy. He can grow and change his shape to suit the situation. He also only says, “I am Groot,” but that’s less applicable here.

HOW TO BUILD A MINDSET LIKE GROOT:

Unhealthy Person: “I have bad genetics. My parents are overweight. I am busy. I have children. I have a slow metabolism. I’m never going to be able to lose weight. This plan won’t work for me because [excuse to let myself off the hook]. I’m the fat guy/gal and that’s all there is to it.”

Habit Building Badass: “I have bad genetics. My parents are overweight. I am busy. I have children. Soooo….How can I make this work for me in my situation? I know people like me who have lost weight, which is a great sign. I refuse to accept that I am a lost cause. I am Groot.”

Even if it isn’t your fault where you are, accept that it’s your personal responsibility to deal with it.

We all have emotional, visceral responses to what we see in the mirror or how we feel when we wake up. We need to cut through the emotion and get to the truth: we alone are responsible for our fate, and that means we alone can fix it.

Like Groot, you can change and grow.

You’ll learn that your excuses are moot – if busier, older, fatter, poorer, and more injured people than you can get in shape, you can too.

So, decide TODAY that this year that you are a“a healthy, habit-building badass” and then simply do the things that perpetually healthy nerds do. With each meal or each decision, ask yourself “what would a healthy person do?” And then do that.

2. know Your “Big Why”.

The road to perpetual weight loss and healthiness is fraught with peril.

Even the best-laid plans and New Years Resolutions will end up in a ditch on the side of the road unless you have a damn good reason.

After all, life gets busy and it’s Taco Tuesday and a new video game just came out and your kid is sick and you just don’t feel like exercising and it’s cold. There will ALWAYS be something.

You will never not be busy.

That perseverance will from a damn good answer to the question: “Why?”

Not just “Because I need to lose weight,” but two levels deeper: WHY you want to lose weight. That’s the motivation and answer you need to be reminded of to persevere over the next few months.

If your answer is: “I’m here because my doctor/wife/husband thinks I should lose weight. I know I should exercise more and do more.” you are doomed. You will give up at the first sign of adversity.

Compare this to the raw, deep, honest answers we get from Nerd Fitness Academy members when we ask about their “Big WHY”:

“I’m here because my dad died of a heart attack at age 45, and I don’t want my kids growing up without a father like I did.”

“I’m here because I want my husband/wife to look at me the way he/she used to, and I want us to grow old together.”

“I’m here because I just got dumped and I want to get healthy so I can start dating again. I don’t want people swiping left on my photos anymore.”

“I’m here because I want to look in the mirror and be proud of what I see. I want to stop hiding behind others in photographs.”

Why are you here? Why do you want to build healthy habits?

Is your reason for being here more important to you than cake? If it isn’t, you’re gonna give up at the first sign of adversity.

Write down your Great Big Why – and go deep, my friend. Way down. And ask yourself “Why?” to the answer of each of your questions until you get to the root of your reason for being here.

Once you write that answer down, hang it up somewhere you can see it every day: fridge, cubicle, bathroom mirror. Accept responsibility for your current situation, be compassionate, and also accept that you CAN change, and your identity can change with small wins that prove it.

3. don’t go on a diet. adjust Your nutrition.

Perpetually unhealthy people have a love/hate relationship with diets.

Mostly hate.

They go on diets all the time – especially in early January, and then they go off diets. And then they go on another diet. And then they find another diet that’s supposed to promise even faster, easier weight loss, so they switch to that one.

Unhealthy people get dieting wrong from the start, and this is what dooms them.

Unhealthy people go on a diet for a month or two, and they can’t wait to go back to “eating normally.” The problem is that their “eating normally” is the reason why they’re overweight in the first place.

Temporary changes to one’s eating results in temporary changes to one’s weight and physique.

Like an addict chasing the next high, somebody consistently has to chase the next diet because their normal eating is the problem in the first place!

And yup, dieting sucks.

Starvation, eliminating favorite foods, and trying to use willpower to avoid candy and sweets is a terrible strategy, so stop doing it.

No wonder people abandon diets as soon as they start them; they think, “If this is what it takes to be skinny, I’d rather stay fat and happy.”

This year, never go on a diet ever again.

Instead, come to terms with this: “My concept of ‘normal eating’ is broken, which means it needs to change permanently in order for me to get healthy.”

Think about that for a second.

If you “never get to be done” with your nutrition, and you can’t go back to how you were eating before, then the ONLY way permanent success happens is if you actually enjoy your new “normal.”

Stop going on diets!

No more diet pills, cleanses or crazy 30-day strategies.

Nothing you do can be temporary, or the results will be temporary.

Instead you are going to make deliberate, incremental permanent changes to your daily nutrition, slowly, over a period of many months.

Eat to line up with your goals.

If you are afraid of giving up something, don’t! Make the unhealthy foods more of a treat and less of a daily indulgence:

If giving up soda forever is scary, slowly cut back from 12 a day down to one a day.

If giving up pasta forever sounds like a life not worth living, learn about portion sizes and make it an experience (only at restaurants, for example).

The same goes for diet pills and supplements – Supplements cannot replace a good nutrition strategy.

When you think about getting healthy this year, think in terms of days and years, not weeks and months:

Know that it took years for you to get to your current physique, and it’s going to take months if not years to correct it. This means you HAVE to enjoy the journey.

Once you accept that you never get to be “done,” you can start picking small adjustments or changes that won’t scare you away from adhering to your plan.

4.know what’s in the food You eat.

Did you know that when it comes to weight loss, your nutrition choices will account for 90% of your success or failure?

In the Nerd Fitness Rebellion, we refer to this as the “you can’t outrun your fork” rule.

Seriously. 90+ PERCENT of the equation. 

Tattoo this on your forehead. Hire somebody to skywrite it above your home every day. Pay somebody to call you every morning and remind you of this fact.

Whatever it takes to get you to realize that changing your eating habits will be the fastest (and only) path to weight loss in 2018.

And it starts by educating yourself about your food.

Make a habit of knowing what’s in the food you eat! 

Whether it’s portion control, calorie counting, tracking macros, or even keeping a food journal, it’s important to have rough idea of the nutritional breakdown of the food you consume regularly.

After all, GI Joe tells us that “Knowing is half the battle!”

The other half is lasers:

With each meal tracked, this habits adds up to knowing what needs to happen every day for you to get healthy.

Sugar is a big culprit in spiking insulin and thus contributes to making waistlines larger, which means checking the labels on the foods you’re consuming for sugar is a great habit to get into.

Speaking of sugar, let’s see a common pitfall you can start to avoid. Here are two different beverages:

Coca-Cola (20 oz): 240 calories, 65 g of carbs (65 g of sugar)

Naked Juice Green Machine (15 oz): 270 calories, 63 g of carbs (55 g of sugar)

Look at those two things above: one is a can of cola that you know is bad for you, the other is marketed as a “healthy beverage.”

They’re both terrible for you!

Don’t fall for the hype: read the label, and break free of the Matrix!

Learn about the food you’re eating. You’re an adult, you can take 3 minutes and Google it.

Once you know the composition of your meals, you can start to make subtle adjustments or change quantities over time as you start to approach a healthier weight.

Be okay with “good enough” to start, and get more accurate as time goes on.

What’s that? You don’t know how to eat healthy? I got you, boo: “A beginner’s guide to healthy eating.”

For each food, learn the following:

Total calories

Serving size

Fat

Protein

Carbs (especially sugar)

Don’t overthink this: Write down what you eat every day for a week. If your weight isn’t changing, adjust down total calories and minimize sugar consumption and see how your weight changes.

Make small adjustments over time and see how your body responds.

Speaking of goals…

5. use Blueprints and Blocks to Create Goals.

Perpetually unhealthy people say things like “I’m going to exercise more this year!”

Goals like this are cloudy with no real markers of success.

With no beacon guiding them, perpetually unhealthy people don’t know if they’re on track, and there’s no accountability if they don’t succeed. These goals get tossed in the abandoned pile next to goals like “I’m gonna start flossing!”

Compare this to what you’re going to do in 2018:

Pick a reachable blueprint to follow: an outcome-based goal.

Place the blocks to build that blueprint: a habit-based goal.

Let’s see this in action: “I want to lose X amount of weight by X date.”

With a very specific goal and a specific timeline, we can work backwards to calculate how much weight we need to lose each week to build that blueprint: our target weight.

Once you know where you want to be a year from now – you can then just focus on what you need to do TODAY.

Want to lose 50 pounds by the end of the year?

That’s one pound per week. And that can happen by making a single change today and every day moving forward.

Focusing on the habit (“today I’m going to drink only one soda instead of 3, and have one vegetable”) allows you to not get overwhelmed at the big picture.

In Minecraft terms, once you have the blueprints for a replica of Rivendell from Lord of the Rings, all you have to focus on is placing the next block in the right place. And then repeat!

Eventually, you’ll have Rivendell:

Here’s a real-life example of this block-placing mentality:

“My goal is to reach my goal weight of 150 pounds by December 1st, 2018, so I will eat one vegetable every day, and I will strength train for 30 minutes, two days per week. On other days, I’ll go for a 10 minute walk.”

What happens when you do this: you stop worrying about the outcome, and instead JUST focus on the habit you have to do today.

It allows you to very easily answer the question: “Yes I placed the block” or “no I did not place the block.”

You either ate a vegetable today or you didn’t.

You either exercised for 30 minutes today or you didn’t.

Make sure you are picking a blueprint that you can build (it’s not overly optimistic), and keep things simple. A target weight loss goal of 1 pound per week is reasonable and sustainable. Remember that the focus should be on SUSTAINABLE progress – not “progress at any cost.”

Once you start reaching goals you can create more complex plans.

Or in fantasy terms, after you finally slay the dragon, go find a bigger one!

6. You don’t HAVE to exercise, You GET to exercise.

Unhealthy people treat exercise as a miserable means to an end: “I’ll exercise until I reach my goal weight and then I can stop this exercise stuff and go back to what I was doing before.”

Temporary changes, miserable strategy, temporary results… sound familiar?

They run on a treadmill because they think they should, but they hate it, and they never want to go back. Or they get dragged to a class with a friend and the class ruins fitness for them.

They do their best to build the habit, but they’re so unhappy and unexcited about the exercise that the habit never sticks.

Look, here’s the truth: “exercise” sucks.

So you’re going to stop doing “exercise.”

I’ve heard from Nerd Fitness Academy members time and time again: “I can’t believe it, but I actually look forward to exercising now. How did THAT happen?”

What’s going on here?

Because nutrition is 90% of the battle, building a habit of exercise and movement is more important than what specific type of exercise you choose:

adult gymnastics

swing dancing

ultimate frisbee

martial arts

hiking (or even just walking!)

strength training.

Whatever gets you off your ass and out the door. If there’s a type of exercise they HATE…don’t do it.

You don’t have to exercise in a way that you hate.

Pick the kind of exercise that makes you come alive. Don’t have that form of exercise yet? Try new things!

Especially the stuff that doesn’t feel like exercise.

Nutrition is 90% of the battle, so the exercise can be something that you enjoy, that reminds you to make better food choices so your efforts don’t go to waste.

Desperate to lose weight faster? In addition to fixing your nutrition, try temptation bundling to get you to go to the gym.

Have a specific physique in mind (six pack, toned arms, a better butt, broader chest, etc.)? Build the body you want and get hooked on improvement: “I can’t wait to go to the gym and find out how much stronger I got today compared to last week.”

You are a video game character increasing your strength attribute with each training session.

7. They invest in their health like a 401(k).

When it comes down to our health, we can invest in three ways:

Our Time

Our Effort

Our Money

Healthy habit-building badasses know this and prioritize accordingly: they know investing in their health is the best decision they can make. So they decide what’s the correct balance of time, effort, and money to use for that investment.

  Your health is an investment just like your net worth:

If you want to devote your effort and time to building your own workouts, crafting your own meal plans, and keeping yourself accountable, that’s awesome. I did this for myself for years.

You might decide to outsource your programming to a coach, recruit an accountability partner, or buy into a program that creates your workouts and nutrition for you.

Either way, this is a months or years-long process that requires discipline! Every day you get a tiny bit better compounds upon the day before and builds you a big nestegg (read: a great physique) that will keep you wealthy (read: healthy) for decades and decades.

We’ve had thousands of people who read all the free content on Nerd Fitness for years with no results, because they never invested in themselves.

However the second they finally invested in The Nerd Fitness Academy or joined Rising Heroes (our monthly habit building adventure) or hired a 1-on-1 coach, they took action and lost weight within months.

Why?

Because we VALUE what we pay for and invest in, making us more likely to actually do the damn thing. And we don’t value what we get for free or take for granted.

Unhealthy people don’t look at all of this stuff rationally – they complain about spending 99 cents on an iPhone app that could dramatically improve the quality of their life, and then gladly spend $6 on a sugary Starbucks beverage each morning without a second thought.

People email me all the time asking “Why should I pay for a course when there is free information online.” Welp, there has been free information online for decades – has it gotten you in shape yet? Maybe there’s a point to investing in yourself!

Your money, your time, and your effort are all limited resources: how you choose to spend each of them tells me a lot about your priorities.

Personally, I gladly pay hundreds of dollars every month for my own online fitness coach.

Many probably think I’m crazy and that this is a waste of money (“just do your own workouts!”), but I feel that it’s the best money I spend every month, and it’s why I’ve prioritized it over other expenses.

I’m not just paying for a workout plan in an excel document.

I am paying for accountability from somebody who is checking in on me, expertise from a trained professional who can spot my weaknesses, and the knowledge that I’ll actually do the workout because I’m spending my hard-earned money on it.

And it got me the results that had eluded me for a decade.

It’s not what you say is a priority, it’s what you spend your time or money on that’s a priority.

Prioritize your money and time on the best stuff, even at the expense of other creature comforts, and you’re more likely to get in shape because you’ll actually care about it.

Answer these questions:

How much money do you spend on your health?

How much time and effort do you devote to creating your workouts or fine-tuning your nutrition?

Have you ever hired a coach or paid for an online course

Do you buy apps or software that make your life easier, or do you try to get by with free stuff that you know you won’t actually use?

Sometimes spending money is the best investment you can make in yourself – because you KNOW that the free option is something you won’t stick with! 

Although you have a free gym in your apartment complex, pay money to join a gym near work with fitness classes, because you hate working out alone and if you know people are counting on you to show up.

Pre-pay for 20 trainer sessions – if you’ve already paid for it and scheduled the workouts, you’ll actually GO.

On vacation and afraid you’ll backslide on all habits? Pay $20-30 to just go to a gym for one hour on vacation. Expensive? Not when you compare it to the weeks spent after the vacation trying to get back on track.

Decide what to sacrifice. It might mean you have to skip movies out or cancel your cable to prioritize a healthy meal service or buy more cookbooks so you never get bored with cooking new healthy meals.

Start thinking about this from a different perspective:

You’re not buying a fitness course or a trainer or an overpriced salad (that you would never make for yourself anyways).

You’re not just hiring a coach that prescribes you a workout that you could have found for free on the internet.

You’re investing in your future and purchasing accountability and expertise and momentum.

And NEVER underestimate momentum.

8. Go All In On Momentum.

Remember that Isaac Newton guy?

“An object at rest tends to stay at rest, and an object in motion tends to stay in motion, unless acted on by another force.”

This is called “inertia,” and nothing could be more applicable when it comes to your health.

Unhealthy people have a LOT of inertia to overcome when they are trying to build healthy habits and get in shape:

Their body is used to sitting on a couch and eating junk food, which means the habit of exercise is agonizing. They have to convince themselves to get off the couch and go out into the wilderness. Eating vegetables and healthy food sucks compared to their normal comfort food.

But they use max effort to do these things a few times, and momentum starts to shift away from unhealthy and towards healthy.

And that’s when things fall apart.

Their kid gets sick or they work late and they miss a workout. Not the end of the world, right? But then it snows the next day, and one missed workout day becomes two, which becomes a month in the blink of an eye.

And shit, they’re back to square one.

We are going to focus instead on cultivating and protecting  your momentum. Invest their time and money in momentum-building or momentum-protecting products or services.

Shit happens. Travel. Vacation. Kids. Work. Life.

So they focus on doing whatever they can to build momentum quickly and maintain it.

Perpetual health doesn’t happen in days, or with a few decisions. It takes months (or more likely, years) of consistent effort.

It’s more than just “missing a workout.” It’s killing your momentum, and momentum is crucial to long term healthiness.

Momentum is crucial to being perpetually healthy, so protect it with your life.

So, focus on momentum until their default behavior is healthy and they can go on autopilot:

Exercise 4 days per week without fail. Yes, even on vacation. Yup, even if it’s only push-ups for 5 minutes.

Go for a morning walk every single day, even when it’s snowing.

Schedule workouts for early Saturday morning with a trainer so they know they can’t drink like a fish on Friday night.

Put your workouts in your calendar. Have your friend give $50 of your money to a cause you hate every time you miss a workout.

Because momentum.

Which means you should be following my favorite rule: never miss two in a row.

Two missed workouts quickly becomes 30 in the blink of an eye. Two bad meals quickly becomes a week of pizza and Chinese food.

Live by the “never two in a row,” and build momentum with daily goals.

9. know Your Kryptonite.

I want to share an important quote from the late, great physicist Richard Feynman:

“The first principle is that you must not fool yourself – and you are the easiest person to fool.”

Unhealthy people might be aware of their Kryptonite, but they just hope and pray they have enough willpower to overcome it every day.

They eat a single Oreo, and then spend an hour thinking about cookies until they go eat a whole sleeve of Oreo cookies and then berate themselves for not having more willpower to avoid the temptation.

The truth is that we are all flawed superheroes.

Unhealthy people try to fix their flaws through sheer willpower and then feel deep shame when they can’t stop their behavior.

Permanently healthy people recognize their Kryptonite, and have a plan to avoid or protect against it:

If they know grains make them unhappy and bloated, they follow a Paleo diet and remove those foods completely so there’s no attempt to only eat half a serving of something.

If they know they struggle with portion control, then maybe they try skipping a meal with Intermittent Fasting.

They also ask the questions that get to the heart of their Kryptonite with regards to weight gain:

Maybe they eat when they’re bored.

Maybe they eat when they’re upset.

Maybe they eat when they’re nervous.

Maybe they eat when they’re watching TV.

They KNOW these things about themselves, and they know unhealthy food has been designed to be addictive.

So they plan for it!

Know thyself, my dear friend, and know what your triggers are.

We’re all flawed; plan for your flaws instead of trying to fight them. These triggers can be environmental or situational or emotional. Know it will happen, and build a Kryptonite-proof plan so you don’t have to worry about avoiding it.

Stop relying on motivation and willpower to tackle your Kryptonite.

Add accountability, punishments, and rewards into your life to stay on track and avoid your Kryptonite:

Check in with someone everyday to make sure they ate their vegetables.

Instruct your friend to donate your $50 to a politician you hate if you miss a workout check-in.

Reward yourself with new running shoes (a reward that rewards you back with more momentum) if you complete 20 runs in a single month.

Don’t go to certain bars or make sure you eat before going to a party, because you KNOW you’ll make a bad decision once you get there.

Build your batcave (your environment) so it’s tougher to make unhealthy decisions and easier to make healthy ones.

Don’t go out to dinner at unhealthy restaurants, and schedule early workouts on Saturdays so you won’t drink yourself silly on Friday.

You don’t need to be flawless. You don’t need a perfect plan. What you do need is to have an honest conversation with yourself about things you need to avoid while you’re trying to make healthier choices.

That might be certain restaurants, certain aisles of the supermarket, or even certain people….

10. Your are surrounded by supporters, not anchors

You are the average of the 5 people you associate most with.

Are they banana peels?

Or are they Lakitus?

Banana peels need no introduction: drive over one in Mario Kart and they’ll ruin a perfectly good race by crushing all of your momentum.

Compare that to Lakitu. If you’re not familiar, he’s the little guy on the cloud in mario Kart that picks you up when you fall off the track and puts you back on course.

Unhealthy people get spun out all the time by the banana peels in their lives:

“What do you mean you don’t want to eat my lasagna anymore? You love my cooking.”

“Everybody is coming over to play D&D and eat pizza, you can’t miss this.”

“You don’t need to lose weight. You look fine. Live a little. Come on.”

Questions and comments like these subtly influence our behavior every day. Which is how you end up looking like and acting like the 5 people you associate most with. 

Compare this to Lakitus: the people who want you to succeed, who hold you accountable and make you want to be better.

I recently asked our private men’s community from the Nerd Fitness Academy what the group meant to them.

This response jumped out at me:

You need to be surrounded by people that pick you up, not slow you down.

Healthy people know this, and they make the hard decisions about who is worthy of their time and attention.

They often fire their unhealthy friends and family – even if only temporarily – because they can’t be around negative influence as they’re trying to build momentum.

I’ve heard of tons of stories where unhealthy relationships have ended because a newly healthy individual was dating an unhealthy person who didn’t want them to be healthy and was actively sabotaging them.

Why does this happen? Because it’s often easier to drag other people down than it is to look honestly in the mirror and address one’s shortcomings or unhealthy. 

If you are trying to get healthy, minimize your time around banana peels and MAXIMIZE your time with Lakitus.

You are influenced dramatically by the people around you whether you realize it or not. How are these people influencing you?

Take exercise:

Banana Peel: You want to exercise, but your friends are mad at you for skipping a Destiny 2 or World of Warcraft raid… you’re going to skip the workout.

Lakitu: You want to exercise, and your friends are at the gym counting on you for a team workout… you’re gonna get your ass to the gym!

Food:

Banana Peel: You are out to dinner with friends and they order lasagna, chicken fingers and fries, a large pizza, and enchiladas. You’ll likely order junk food to fit in, rather than order a salad and endure their scorn.

Lakitu: You are at a healthy restaurant and all 4 people order salads before you order – I’d bet $1000 you’re going to order something healthy too.

Mental health:

Banana Peel: You have 5 friends who never talk about anything serious: how are you supposed to tell them about your depression medication or that you’re thinking about going to see a therapist?

Lakitu: You have 5 friends who are not only accepting of your flaws, but share theirs too and have advice for you.

Decide who is worthy of your attention, and work on putting yourself in situations with people who make you want to be better.

This might mean a serious conversation with your significant other that “likes you more full-figured” if your goal is to be healthier and happier.

Or diving deep into deflection strategies if you have to constantly deal with unhealthy family members you can’t fire.

If they are worth your time, they will change their tune to be more supportive and helpful and less of an anchor.

And then start spending time around people who are stronger, healthier, happier, and more successful than you. And do what they do.

Use 20 seconds of courage to strike up a conversation with someone at the gym on how to do a certain exercise, and make plans to train together the next day.

Join a running club at work, or start a running club if one doesn’t exist yet.

If you don’t have people in real life cheering them on, find an online group that pushes them to be better.

How is 2018 Going to Be Different?

Phew! Okay, let’s see how many of these you can actually check off:

I have a Growth Mindset

I know my Big Why

I don’t go on diets. I adjust my nutrition.

I know what my food is made of.

I have blueprints and blocks.

I don’t have to exercise; I GET to.

I invest in my health like a 401(k).

I go all in on momentum.

I know my Kryptonite.

I seek out Lakitus, not banana peels.

Give yourself a score, and let me know which ones are the toughest for you to follow through on.

If you checked 6 or fewer boxes, pick ONE of the habits and work on it for the next month. Internalize it. Make it part of your new identity. And then move onto the next one.

You’re overcoming inertia and building momentum!

And NEVER underestimate momentum.

Agree with the list? Disagree?

Did I leave one off?

Leave that in the comments too!

Also, congratulations, you just finished the longest article in the history of Nerd Fitness – give yourself a high five.

-Steve

PS: If you are somebody that is interested in investing in their health right now, these are the three paths available to this community:

Join the Nerd Fitness Academy – a one time fee for lifetime access. Follow the workout plans, adjust your mental attitude, follow our 10 level diet system and have a private community to support you.

Hire a Nerd Fitness Coach – expert accountability, Yoda-like guidance, and handcrafted workout and nutrition plans based on your specific life situation.

Check out Rising Heroes – our monthly team-based story driven adventure. Get new real-world missions each week that make you healthier and help us take down a sinister shadow organization.

If you are looking to invest in yourself, I hope to see you in one of these programs!

photo credit: Reiterlied Rex across the fields, Meeting Star Lord and Baby Groot, benjaminreay Big question mark, Mark Bonica Paleo Diet – Day 14, clement127 Chicken factory, post-apocalyptic research institute 3mm model, sualk61 Hamster wheel, evoo73 balance, hjl Kryptonite on Blue, Reiterlied Biking on the Lake

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You can read the article about the study here: source

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