#my tag scheme is words starting in R… so…

[rouxenne]

just read through all of your PET pokemon posts, im already obsessed!! i don't know a whole lot about pokemon (had to google every single pokemon that was mentioned) but i do know that they all fit so, so well. i like the idea of jimmy being a bartender, it fits his charm. a very pg bartender sounds funny. regardless, nothing but praises for this au, can't wait to see where it goes from here!!

Ayy, thanks so much, and welcome into the chaos! ❤️

It’s great to have someone else’s thoughts on this; if the shoe fits, it shall be worn!

(And, on a side note, I must mention that I absolutely adore your art! The style is simply delectable, and the lesbian skizzpulse may have convinced me to get my character post for them finished and posted asap :D)

[missidk1121]

Chapter 3: Coffee and friends make the perfect blend

Pairing: Dino x Fem!Reader

Chapter tags: Fluff & ✨side characters ✨

Content Warnings: Mentions of insecurity (not relationship-related)

Word Count: 4.6K

Author's Note: Small warning - this chapter is not proofread/edited quite as well as I wanted it to be because I've been sick :/ But thank you for reading anyway, it really means a lot to me 🥹 Feedback, reblogs, and likes are always appreciated, and if you are interested in being tagged when I post each chapter, feel free to comment, send a DM, or ask! 🩷

Tags: @syluslittlecrows

🎧 Music playing at The Cozy Bloom

Series masterlist | Read on AO3 | Previous | Next

Chan felt a breeze ghost his neck, whispering: “Well, that was short-lived.”

He looked behind him and jumped when he saw you standing there mere inches away.

“Holy sh– Don’t scare me like that!”

Just a few minutes ago, you were at your table talking to Joshua. From Chan’s perspective, apart from that one moment he noticed, everything seemed fine. Did something happen?

“What are you talking about?” he asked.

You followed him as he grabbed his things, the both of you saying goodbye to his coworkers before heading outside.

The sunlight was starting to dwindle, but Chan saw a faint flush begin to creep up your neck.

“I asked Joshua out on a date.”

His eyes widened. “R-Really?”

He felt his stomach turn, but now was the time. It was time to put into practice what he had been psyching himself up for all day: not jeopardizing your friendship by swallowing down his emotions and being a supportive friend.

“Ohhh, right. I read your text earlier. How did it go? Did he say yes?” he asked like he had rehearsed it.

You tilted your head at him for a second. Moving on, you looked down at your feet as you murmured, “I am an absolute train wreck.” You sighed, tacking on, “And no, he did not say yes.”

You started walking toward home, and Chan was left stunned, following after you.

The loud city atmosphere buzzing about did not help as he tried to figure out what to say. You looked so gloomy slumping forward with that thousand-yard stare that he honestly felt guilty for feeling a sense of relief upon hearing your rejection.

He had never seen you look so down over relationship problems before. Your relationships that didn’t work out had all ended amicably, but it was usually you who broke up with them, saying you just weren’t interested. At one point Chan had wondered if you even wanted to be in a relationship, but after watching a romantic drama with you and hearing you say, tears welling in your eyes, “Damn, if this song isn’t playing as I’m walking down the aisle I’m saying no at the altar,” he had concluded that you probably did want one eventually.

Chan cleared his throat before commenting, “I’m surprised you were the one to ask him.”

The two of you reached your apartment building, causing him to slow down, but you kept pushing onward, walking straight past it as though you didn’t live there.

“I thought I’d start trying to be more confident and rush headlong into the things I want like you. Figures it wouldn’t work out for me. I built up the courage to put myself out there when I shouldn’t have. Now I’m gonna be feeling the consequences both at home and at work. Just another bullet point in my long list of mistakes.” Then you laughed self-deprecatingly as you said, “Hey, next time I fall for someone you should work with me to develop a fool-proof scheme that’ll help me be more sexy and charming. You’d be perfect for the job.”

That last part didn’t even register in his mind as your words made him frown. It saddened him to hear you talking about yourself like that, even more so hearing you compare yourself to him.

He wanted to tell you that you were perfectly charming already. Though you tried to be stoic, hiding behind your unreadable expressions, he had learned to read you like a book. Despite this, he was still endlessly curious about the rich ambition and passion underpinning your intelligence and wit, your near-idiosyncratic penchant for practicality. Like the bulb that lights up over your head whenever you solve a problem, typing on your keyboard like your fingers are on fire until you hit another roadblock, your mind retreating back to the drawing board. When you work so hard to practice the choreography he taught you, stiff as a board trying to get every move down perfectly but then gradually loosening up as you lose yourself to the music. These things, your ability to achieve the things you set out to do, to keep going even when it was difficult, Chan found more than charming.

Ironically, he was the one hesitating, holding back, fearing the ripples of making a huge mistake.

But whether it was making coffee or kickstarting a career in dance, you always believed that he could do anything he wanted in life, even if he didn’t always follow through. He needed to do the same for you, even though his fears were holding back what was on the tip of his tongue.

“You’re already lovely,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper as it took everything in him to say even this much out loud, like he was unveiling some dark secret. “I’m grateful that you think I’m so confident, but I’m not. I feel afraid too, of putting myself out there only to get knocked over. Even now, I’m afraid of making a mistake.”

You stopped, having arrived at the destination you had led him to. Standing outside the apartment building where Chan lived, you were inches away from each other when the street lights began to flicker on, enveloping you in a dim warmth that highlighted the delicate shimmer in your eyes, on the brink of tears.

“What do you mean?” you breathed.

He felt his heart ache, from the look in your eyes, the closeness between you two, and the fear that paralyzed him too much to answer that.

“You may not see yourself as being charming, but I don’t think you realize how endearing it is that you put so much passion into everything you do,” he continued. “That long list of mistakes made you who you are: someone determined, even through all the doubt, because you’re capable of doing anything you put your mind to.”

A tear spilled down your cheek.

Chan’s hand was shaking. Nevertheless he brought it up to your face, cupping your cheek gently as he brushed his thumb over your tear.

“If that’s not charming, I don’t know what is.”

Something must’ve happened. This morning you dropped your pen, then reached down to pick it up at the same time as that new guy, Joshua. Your hands touched, and you made eye contact momentarily before quickly looking away, ignoring his thoughtful gesture without so much as a thank you. You didn’t show up at the cafeteria during lunch like you usually do either. And the rest of the day, you were staring off into space a lot — although being you, you were still getting shit done and dusted.

Soonyoung knocked on the door to Seokmin’s office.

“Come in,” he heard.

But before Seokmin could even finish saying that Soonyoung was already busting through.

“Hey, Seokmin,” he said. “Have you noticed Y/N acting off today?”

Seokmin raised an eyebrow. “Dude, did you get lost? I’m in a different department than you guys. Don’t you have work to do?” 

Soonyoung let out an overdrawn sigh, turning toward the exit. “Fine. It seems your friend’s well-being is just that unimportant to you. I guess I’ll just talk to Wonwoo about it. Since he’s on our team maybe he would’ve picked something up about why she was acting weird around Joshua.”

Seokmin fell for it, hook, line, and sinker.

“Hey, don’t bother Wonwoo, he’s busy preparing for his engagement party,” he said. “Joshua? The new guy? Wasn’t his first day literally yesterday? What does he have to do with her?”

“I don’t know. She seemed friendly towards him when they met at yesterday’s stand-up. As friendly as she gets, even. But I noticed her being really awkward around him this morning all of a sudden. And just in general today she was super spacey.”

“I bet she still got more work done than you.”

“I won’t deny it.”

Seokmin tilted his head in thought. “Wasn’t she working from home yesterday? Maybe she was just nervous about meeting him in person.”

He tilted his head thoughtfully along with him. “Maybe, but that doesn’t explain why she didn’t eat lunch with me like she usually does.”

“Oh,” Seokmin deadpanned. “So that’s what this is about.”

“No, no! I just mean– I just think she’s acting weird.”

They both hummed in thought.

Then Soonyoung’s eyes widened, suddenly experiencing a eureka moment, his favorite tried and sometimes-true problem solving technique.

“Why don’t we go to that café after work?”

His friend rolled his eyes. “Why don’t you just ask her what’s wrong?”

“Because,” said Soonyoung, “I get the feeling she’ll just dodge the question with me. She tries to keep her problems to herself. Besides, it’ll be more interesting to ask that guy Chan about it. He probably knows what’s up, and it’ll give us the chance to scope him out.”

“Ah,” Seokmin nodded in agreement, pointing a finger gun at him. “Two birds, one stone.”

Seungkwan recognized the two guys entering the café. Their bizarre staring from a couple days ago had rubbed him the wrong way, and today he felt no different even though all they did was walk through the door.

Seungkwan greeted them, taking their orders with a polite smile to hide his scrutiny. Vernon made the iced americano while Minghao begrudgingly handled the latte, and as Seungkwan was carrying them over, he overheard them.

“Hm, he must not be working today.”

“Well hey, at least the coffee is really good.”

“True. Starbucks? Don’t know her.”

Realizing that these two were up to no good, Seungkwan placed the drinks on their table firmly, then in his most professional voice, asked, “Are you looking for someone? Is there something I can help you with?”

They flinched at his sudden intrusion on their conversation, but nonetheless one of them replied.

“Oh, uh, we were kind of wanting to talk to Chan.” Introducing himself, he added, “Um, I’m Soonyoung.”

“Seokmin,” said the other.

“My name is Seungkwan. You’re friends with Y/N, right? Today is Chan’s day off.”

“Yes, we’re her coworkers,” Seokmin confirmed. “That’s too bad. We were hoping to get a chance to meet him.”

Seungkwan tsked. “And here I thought Mingyu was the most popular among our staff. Would you like me to take a message?”

Soonyoung shook his head. “Oh no thank you, you don’t have to do that. To be honest, we were actually hoping to ask him about Y/N. She seemed a little off today and we wondered if Chan might know anything.”

That caught Seungkwan’s attention.

“A little off?”

Then Soonyoung explained what he noticed today — the zoning out, the strange behavior around Joshua, whom Seungkwan found out was also her new coworker — and before he knew it Seungkwan was sitting down with them. Thankfully it wasn’t too busy, and Seungcheol wasn’t there to scold him. But the more he listened the more it seemed obvious to him what was happening. It was too late for Chan.

“I can’t believe he missed his opportunity. And after everything I said,” Seungkwan said, disappointed.

The two looked at him curiously.

“Who? What are you talking about?” asked Seokmin.

“Chan is deeply in love with her,” Seungkwan said dramatically, though in his mind at least his words were no exaggeration.

Seokmin clasped a hand over his mouth, while Soonyoung suddenly choked on his coffee.

“Chan told me he thought she was interested in Joshua. Joshua is actually also her new neighbor whom she bumped into a couple nights ago,” he explained. “I tried to give him a push in the right direction to hurry up and tell her his feelings, but it seems it was all for nothing.”

While Seungkwan sat in dejection, it seemed as though Soonyoung and Seokmin weren’t sure what to think.

“Wow, coworkers and neighbors to lovers? Go get ‘em,” Soonyoung said in amazement.

Seokmin looked shocked. “Soonyoung! Were you not there the other day when Y/N was telling us that story of how she met Chan? You were literally on the edge of your seat, calling it a meet-cute!”

Seungkwan, too, felt rather offended. “Hey, I’ve been friends with the two of them for years. Do you know how long Chan has been in love with her? Hell, he didn’t even know until I told him yesterday!”

“Hey, I’m just saying,” argued Soonyoung, holding his hands up in defense. “An office romance with your neighbor is way spicier than a friends-to-lovers meet-cute at a café. Bro is cooked.”

Right as Seungkwan was about to teach this guy a lesson, another voice interjected.

“Guys, guys. There’s no need to argue.”

The three of them looked over to find a man sauntering toward the next table over. A sharp nose, cat eyes, and a fashionable outfit complementing his tall, lean build, he had this distinctly elegant aura about him as he sat cross-legged with his hands folded atop his lap, and Seungkwan recognized him immediately.

“Moon Junhui!? What the– When did you get here?” he exclaimed.

Moon Junhui, or Wen Junhui, was a foreign exchange student Seungkwan had met in college. He was a regular at the café back when it first opened, and he was something of a legend at school, famous for being a genius in the arts, talented at acting, singing, dancing, you name it. After graduating, he stopped coming to the café, moving back to China to pursue his career in acting. Seungkwan cried like a baby the day he came into the café one last time to say goodbye.

Without answering him, Jun simply said, “I already have the answer.”

Astonished by this mysterious character suddenly entering the scene, Soonyoung could only utter, “Do you know something?”

Every action kept them in suspense. Jun turned to face them. With calculated slowness he leaned in, resting his elbows on his knees, one by one intertwining his fingers as a mischievous look haunted his ethereal features, whispering: “Depends. What’s in it for me?”

In careful deliberation, the three of them looked around at each other.

“All of your meals here from now on will be on me.”

“Um, I can help you with your taxes?”

“I present to you…” Soonyoung reached into his backpack and pulled out a small tiger plushie. “... my most prized possession. Final offer.”

Jun stared. Then his facade began to crack as he let out a playful, almost childlike laughter.

“I’m just messing with you,” he said before slumping back in his chair, folding his legs again. “Seungkwan, it’s been a while! I hope you’ve been well.”

“Hey, you should’ve told me you were back! I really would have paid for your meal,” Seungkwan responded, excited to see him again.

Putting the tiger plushie back in his backpack, Soonyoung asked, “But do you really know something? You know Y/N?”

Jun nodded. “I used to come to this place all the time when I was in college. I saw her here a lot too, and we went to the same school.”

“But what are you doing back here? And what is it that you know? Stop keeping us in suspense!” Seungkwan said anxiously.

Jun surrendered, raising his hands as he said, “All right, all right.” Then he explained, “I just flew in yesterday. I’m going to debut as a singer, and I’m working with Jihoon on an album.”

��Oh my god, Jun. That’s amazing! I seriously can’t wait,” Seungkwan said, starstruck.

“Thank you,” Jun said with a bashful smile. Continuing, finally he said, “Anyway, about her, I heard that she asked Joshua out yesterday. Jihoon was sitting at the table behind her. He told me it was pretty bad though. Said she sounded really nervous, and that Joshua rejected her.”

“Oof,” said Soonyoung.

“Oh, so that’s what happened,” Seungkwan mused. “I’m surprised she would even ask someone out. I haven’t really seen her have a serious relationship before, and the most I ever see her talk is with Chan. I always thought she was just as interested in him as he was in her, seeing the way she always comes out of her shell around him, but maybe I was wrong.”

Seokmin giggled. “Aww.”

“Damn, Seungkwan,” Soonyoung commented, “you’re really trying to sell us on this guy.”

Seungkwan groaned in annoyance. “I can’t help it! Chan is just a really good person who deserves a loving relationship. Besides, what do you mean ‘trying to sell you on him’? What are you, her dads? She doesn’t need your blessings.”

He looked around the shop, and seeing that it was starting to get busier he quickly got up, saying, “Well, it’s been… interesting. I need to get back to work or I’m gonna be in so much trouble. Good to see you, Jun!”

Jun waved goodbye, getting ready to leave himself. “Later!”

“Oh wait! Seungkwan!” called out Seokmin.

Seungkwan fought the urge to roll his eyes. Time is ticking.

He turned around and put his work face back on, saying “Is something the matter?”

Seokmin grinned. “Give us your number! We’ll send you updates if Chan and Y/N make any progress. Or our plans to get them to hook up.”

“Or if something happens and she ends up with Joshua after all,” added Soonyoung.

“Ooh, that sounds interesting,” joined Jun. “Add me and Jihoon to that list too. He would drop dead before admitting this, but he’s been pretty interested in them over the years.”

Seungkwan felt a migraine coming on. “You two will have to try harder than that to get my number.”

Soonyoung saluted. “Okay, boss. I’ll start looking for your socials.”

“Uh, Chan?”

“Yes?”

“You forgot to dump the water.”

Chan looked down at the decanter. His mind went numb as he stared at the coffee dripping into the pot, mixing in with the water he used to rinse the filter.

You dropped your backpack off at the door and came up next to him. Laughing at his dumbfounded expression, you said, “You’re always so focused when you’re making coffee. What’s got you so distracted?”

You, he wanted to say. He couldn’t stop thinking about last night.

It wasn’t the first time you had come to his place. It wasn’t even the first time you had stayed the night there. But it was definitely the first time you had slept in his bed.

In the moment Chan wasn’t sure his heart could handle it when you asked if you could stay the night, but you were so emotionally vulnerable at the time that he couldn’t find it in him to say no. And so you both went in, his hands so unsteady as he unlocked the door that even in your exhausted state of mind you noticed, joking weakly, “Nervous about having a girl over?”

The two of you made popcorn and sat down on the couch to watch some movie he didn’t remember a thing about. You snuggled up next to him. Nothing new to him. You fell asleep halfway through, resting your head on his shoulder. Also nothing new. But after a little while you shifted, wrapping your arms around him, hugging him tightly. Then you slowly began to run a hand across his abdomen, eventually snaking up to rest on his chest. Technically that wasn’t new either, but that night it felt new to him.

His heart was pounding so hard he thought for sure you could feel it, but being the heavy sleeper you were, you remained still.

Usually when this happened he would just fall asleep on the couch along with you, and you both would wake up sore, but seeing you finally get some rest after a long day, sleeping soundly on him, your expression contented, the corners of your lips curving upward a little as you sighed, he knew you deserved better than a stiff neck and an aching back. Although in hindsight maybe he was just using that as an excuse to get his heart to stop fluttering, or to alleviate that dizzying sensation in his head.

Either way, he brought his hand to yours, resisting the pull he felt to just leave it there, and slowly lifted your hand off his chest, breathing a sigh as the action released only a sliver of the tension that had built within him. Quietly, he got up and bent over your sleeping figure, getting into a position to sneak one hand behind your back and the other under your knees. When he lifted you up, you still didn’t wake, instead nestling closer to his chest, each warm breath against him sending the heat straight to his face.

When he carried you to his room, he laid you gently on his bed and steadily undid the covers from underneath you. He leaned over and lightly brushed a strand of hair out of your face before pulling the covers over you, making sure you were comfortable as he tucked you in.

Only when he had softly shut the door could he finally let out a sigh of relief.

Present Chan replied to your question.

“You,” he said simply.

He almost winced when the word escaped his mouth, but you merely pursed your lips.

“Hey, I said I was sorry this morning for tangling up the bedsheets. I made time to undo and redo them before I went to work, making sure to put it together exactly as you usually have them,” you defended jokingly, placing your hands firmly on your hips. Then you hummed in thought before mumbling, almost to yourself, “Though I suppose I did make your bed a bit neater than usual. Maybe throwing them in the dryer to unwrinkle them was a tad excessive.”

He could only laugh at your obliviousness. Like he actually cared about you messing up his sheets.

“Anyway,” you said, “what are you going to do about your coffee?”

“Eh,” he said with a shrug. “I was just testing out a new pouring technique. I was actually hoping to surprise you with it when you got home from work, like a taste test.”

“Oh, you could try making it again if you want to. It won’t be a surprise anymore now that I’m home–” you stopped yourself. “Sorry, forgot this wasn’t my home for a moment there. Anyway, I’d still love to try it.”

Chan blushed. The warm smile on your face as you said that made him forget that this isn’t your home, too.

Buzzzz. Buzzzz.

A call was coming through your phone. You reached for it and looked at the number.

“Oh,” you said. “It’s Joshua.”

“Really?” Chan said, surprised. “Are you gonna answer it?”

“Of course, he’s still my coworker. And besides…” You gave him a soft, reassuring smile. “It was just a brief period of infatuation. I know I’ll move on quickly. I’m mostly just embarrassed, so, uh, wish me luck with that.”

Chan chuckled. “All right. You’ve got this,” he said. “You can use my room or wherever if you wanna talk in private.”

“Thanks,” you replied before leaving.

“Hello?” you said, shutting the door to Chan’s bedroom behind you.

“Y/N?” you heard Joshua say. “Hi, how are you?”

“I’m doing all right,” you responded, and it was true mostly.

After your talk last night with Chan about what happened, you moved on for the most part. You felt uncomfortable and embarrassed at work, especially around Joshua, and you even skipped lunch with Soonyoung, but you needed to experience that discomfort, as well as to find some space for yourself, in order for you to move on.

“I’m glad,” he said. “To be honest… I’m calling to talk about what happened the other day.”

You only hoped that you didn’t make Joshua too uncomfortable.

“Yeah, about that…,” you trailed off.

“Wait, could I say something first?” he asked.

“Of course.”

“I’m really sorry for any anxiety I caused as a result of what I said yesterday. I seem to have made you really nervous yesterday and today, when that wasn’t my intention. I hope you can forgive me, and we can… start over?”

You could hear some nervousness in his own voice as he said this, and you almost let out a laugh at the irony.

“There’s nothing to forgive,” you said sincerely. “I was the one who made things awkward between us. To tell you the truth, I think lately I’ve just been experiencing a lot of… how do I put this… growing pains?” You laughed. “I run into this handsome guy who turns out to be my neighbor and coworker, and then I invite him to my favorite café to suddenly ask him out? Like, I need you to know that I’ve never done something like that in my life.”

Joshua laughed along with you, and it felt good to have someone else aside from Chan laughing at just how ridiculous you were. No offense to Chan, of course.

Speaking of, you felt really comfortable relaxing on his bed right now while on the phone, and you hoped he would let you sleep in here again sometime– wait, that was kind of a weird thought.

“Well, like I said the other day, I admire your bravery.”

“Thanks, but I’m not brave. I’ve always been the kind of person who needs to develop a detailed plan before I do anything, and lately, I’ve been turning into the sort of person who needs to have her life goals reached by the end of the work day,” you admitted. “So I guess what I’m trying to say is… when I asked you out all of a sudden, I really just wanted to gain confidence. I’ve been so worried about falling behind in life, whether it’s work or relationships, that I wanted to try being bold, to rush into something new so that I could hurry and be the composed, self-assured person I’ve always wanted to be. I’m sorry you got caught up in my mess.”

“There’s no need to apologize,” he said. “Though I would now like to reiterate that you are, in fact, very brave. I wish I had the courage to be so honest and vulnerable.”

“Thanks again,” you said.

“You know,” he said with a slight pause, “I still think you could really benefit from having a mentor. And I’m not saying that to undervalue your skills, as it’s very clear to me, especially now, that you’re very passionate about improving yourself.”

“No, I understand what you mean. The thought did cross my mind again, and I even thought about talking to Jeonghan about it, but, uh, I wasn’t really in the right headspace today.”

“I get it,” said Joshua. “But, if you decide you want one… I mean, I know I only have a few more years of experience than you, but I thought, if you’re not uncomfortable with it, maybe I could offer to help?”

His offer lit a fire in your heart, but not in the fluttery way that you had experienced with him initially. Maybe this was your chance. Not like yesterday, though. Maybe this was your chance to prove that you really were capable of doing anything you set your mind to.

“You know what? I think I’ll take you up on that.”

“Really?” he said, enthusiastic. “Well then, maybe we could discuss the details sometime this weekend. Over coffee, maybe?”

“Sounds good. It’s a date.” With a light laugh you added, “Just kidding, of course.”

Joshua chuckled. “Okay, then. Enjoy your evening with Chan.”

“Thanks, you too– wait what?”

He hung up.

[string-queen]

WIP Word Train

rules: you get a word and look through your current WIPs to find a sentence/paragraph starting with each letter of that word.

I was tagged by bonechillen with the word SWORD (swords are great and you should definitely get one!)

These are all WIPs from my series, A Reason to Stay. I kind of cheated and grabbed two paragraphs for each letter, to have a bit more context, sue me.

S

Selûne waited in patient silence. Makaria could feel all the lies she'd told herself about heroism and justice wither away into empty words under her Lady's light, leaving only the ugly truth that lay coiled underneath. "I want…I want vengeance," Makaria breathed, hot tears forming in her eyes. "I want to kill the people who murdered my mom."

W

With a roar, Karlach charged across the space between them, flames trailing in her wake. Makaria grit her teeth and angled her shield as if she planned to absorb the force of the barbarian's attack. At the last moment, she sidestepped the charging woman. As Karlach blew past, Makaria turned and smacked her across the back with the practice sword. As the two fighters paused their sparring again to catch their breath, Makaria took a moment to glance through the heat haze at the small crowd that had gathered at the edge of the clearing. She noticed Shadowheart among them, watching intently, and suddenly found herself hoping that the bulky outfit she wore didn't look too ridiculous.

O

“One of Selûne's noble paladins having selfish thoughts?! In Her own temple, no less,” Shadowheart said in feigned shock. “Now this, I must hear.” Makaria rolled her eyes and sighed.

R

Rotating her hand, Shadowheart wrapped her fingers around Makaria's hand and ordered her to squeeze. “Is this some elaborate scheme to hold my hand? You could have just asked,” Makaria teased, but she obeyed.

D

“Doesn't she die at the end of the tale though?” “Don't we all?” Makaria replied. "Heroes don't get happy endings."

No-pressure tags: @callmelyrus, @oldlight117, @future-ghoost, and anyone who is interested for the word ARISE- should the need ever do so.

[c1rcu1t-l0ver-c0pep0d]

Character Profile: Sheldon

I will update this post with more references of my human version for Plankton, the one I have written about in my fanfiction anthology.

Please read the tags carefully before reading into the post.

General Information

First name: Sheldon

Middle name: James

Surname: Plankton

Date of birth: 09/09/1970

Nationality: Scottish (father's side)/ South African (mother's side)

Gender: Male (he/ him)

Sexuality: Bi-curious/ Demiromantic/ Technosexual/ Robosexual

Current residence: Bikini

Relationship status: Married

Social status: middle class

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Physical Appearence

Height: 1.65 m

Weight: 60 kg

Eye colour: red (L)/ milky blue (R, blind)

Skin colour: white

Distinguishing features: his unique eyes

Build of body: skinny

Hair colour: black

Tattoos:

"Born to be Naughty" in cursive // inner part of right arm

a small bleeding heart crossed by a sword, with a soundwave in it, that resembles Karen // on ribs, right side

Piercings:

a tongue piercing

an eyebrow piercing on his left eyebrow

// both are the same blue tinted steel as several of Karen's parts

Typical clothing: high-necked, long sleeved green blouse, dark green bell bottom jeans, platform combat boots

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Personality

Likes:

the way Karen is processing data

to discuss with his wife about his dreams of becoming a supreme overlord of all creation

his dog, Spot and is children, Chip and Regina

when he's got the upper hand

plotting & scheming

anything lemon scented or flavoured

watching movies on Karen's screen

kinky stuff

cruel, sick jokes

getting massages

Dislikes:

Mr. Krabs // ever since they became enemies

love & romance // however he is capable of feeling love and is good at romance, even though a bit clumsy

when Karen is nagging

the taste of pineapple

getting mocked // he secretly likes getting mocked by his wife though

not being taken seriously

his first name

Education: bachelor's degree in Computer Science

Fears: whales, cheerleaders

Personal goals: take over the world

General attitude:

generally aggressive and antisocial

Uses profanity. Fucking plenty of it.

very good at manipulation

General intelligence: extremely intelligent, but lacks common sense

General sociability: he's a sociopath, so barely social

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Health

Illnesses:

his eyesight is horrible, his right eye has been blind ever since he remembers himself

he has antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) aka. he is a sociopath

he has borderline personality disorder (BPD) // he should go to therapy, but he finds it hard to do so

Sleeping habits: irregular sleep schedule

Energy level: either too high or too low, no inbetween

Eating habits: mostly junk food, until Karen started cooking actual food

Memory: he's very forgetful, mainly because he doesn't pay attention

Unhealthy habits: heavy drinking & smoking, occasionally taking drugs (cocaine)

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Relationships

Parents: Gordon & Mama Plankton

Siblings: 

Doug // older brother, father's side

Vesper & Valentin // the twins, older siblings, mother's side

Lilly & unnamed genderless sibling // younger siblings

Enemies: Eugene Krabs // four words: Krabby Patty secret formula

Children:

Chip Plankton II // robot son

Regina Jade Plankton // clone daughter

probably some biological child he doesn't even know of

Friends: none // unless you count his love-hate relationship with Eugene or the occasional kindness he receives from Bobby

Best friend: Eugene Krabs // past

Important friends/relatives: his grandmother // she's the only relative he still communicates with

Love interest: his computer wife, Karen

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Others

Occupation:

funder and owner of the Chum Bucket

drug dealer // actual -illegal- income

Current home: the Chum Bucket

Favourite types of food:

Krabby Patties // he rarely eats though because of the rivalry

Chinese take away

Holographic meatloaf, the one his wife makes

Favourite types of drink: whiskey and rum

Hobbies/ past times:

plotting/ scheming

watching horror movies on Karen's sreen

tinkering with machinery & making various gadgets

drawing/ painting

listening to or even playing music

Guilty pleasures:

hanging out with Bobby

being submissive to his wife

crossdressing

Pets: an one-eyed rescue dog, Spot // probably a Jack Russel

Talents:

singing

programming

creating gadgets and machines

playing electric guitar and synthesizer // basically piano with extra steps

Favourite colours: green, like his clothes & black, like his soul

Favourite types of music:

various types of metal, such as industrial, thrash and heavy

industrial music

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Notes/ Fun Facts:

He created Karen from an old security system and some spare computer parts at the age of 16

His whole outfit is designed to make him look taller and the boots give him some actual extra height, taking him to a glorious 1.72 m

He stinks at darts (damn you, depth perception!)

He would really like to do military service, but his eye condition didn't let him. However, he is self-taught at warfare.

He enjoys watching horror movies because he finds them funny

He paints his nails black

He always wears his wedding and aro rings, but he forgets about them

He got his tongue piercing while still at school (age 16) and his eyebrow piercing while at University (age 20)

He got matching piercings with Eugene when they were 16 (he got his tongue pierced and Eugene got his earlobe pierced) but he changed the black bar he had to a blue one a few years later, when their friendship ended.

Notes/ Not so Fun Facts:

He is a heavy smoker and started smoking at a young age (14), so he often coughs when he evilly laughs

He suffers from chronic back pain, due to the fact that, for years, he slept on his desk just to be close to Karen.

He was raised in an abusive household and moved to his grandma's until he got a house of his own

He is a bastard child, fruit of a forbidden love affair of two married people who cheated on their spouses, which is the reason his parents and half siblings hate him so much. In their eyes, he is the reason their families were torn apart, when all he did was to exist.

He was a premature baby with retinopathy of prematurity on his right eye, but was left untreated, so he completely lost his vision early on.

He was a victim of heavy bullying, to the point of being threatened with pocket knives. The phrase "your eye isn't working, therefore you don't need it" still rings in his head to this day.

He often has existential crisis, mostly because he realizes how fragile his life is compared to his wife's (technical) immortality or he just overthinks about his failures, so stays up at night and drinks. Sometimes a bit too much.

He never really expresses his feelings properly, so they all build up inside and often result to him hurting himself, having suicidal thoughts and even attempting. // for the last one, I didn't even make this up, which makes it even more serious

[toestalucia]

btw was looking thro some stuff up to ~ch156 somewhere due to that post, but i like these parts soooooooo much

Repti: Duat, island of tribunals. Not only did you rescue your friend from an illegal death, but you even toppled the True King. An absolute brilliant display of skill. Choice: What are you scheming now?

meets repti again and immediately is on guard. me too

Then Ruby Pop Irotis points to the stone coffer nearby. A dull light glows from the coffer, which is topped with a pane of smooth glass. She seems to want Captain to look inside. Upon inspecting the contents, Captain's mind refuses to accept what the eyes see. Irotis: I'm sorry, Captain… Lyria, she… Confused beyond belief, hearing the woman speak Lyria's name pushes Captain over the edge. The captain lunges at her.

ITS THE LUNGEINNNNGGGGG ruby pop irotis u are my favorite my everything. no other va has had to cry as much as u have had to. they need to add u to more things immediadetly

HOLD ON THERES ALSO THIS PART

Captain studies the neatly folded scarf. Showing no signs of becoming a mask again, it looks like a common piece of neckwear. But from the moment Captain's fingers brush against the threads, the captain knows it came from the shrine priestess. Captain embarked on a journey first started by their parents, and it falls to the captain to rescue the shrine priestess. Feeling that it's another step toward the ultimate destination, Captain stows the scarf away. Right next to the letter that reads: "I'll be waiting for you in Estalucia, the Island of the Astrals."

im gonna be honest i forgot they kept the scarf. i did not forget the mask thing but this was crucial info i need to lean into more. btw the 'their' in there is ingame. i need to collect all those instances cuz it DOES happen, its one of my earliest gbf memories LOOOOL i do assume its to make localization easier so they dont have to put a he/she tag cuz they DO use he/she too, but whatever, its highly why i use they/he for gran either way.

also wording stuff but saying 'it falls to the captain' makes me ill. thinks about how dad made sure zinkenstill's villagers wouldnt tell captain about what happened long ago despite it involving the death of their grandparents & that they have an aunt out there. so they wouldnt set out with revenge. proceeds to tell them to go to estalucia insteAAADDDDDDDDDDD GGGGGG also they always reference the 'ill be waiting there' part. i get it. i know why. but when u put that next to an item u received from a friend who was told by ur aunt to give it to u ?!?!?!? ur aunt who was kidnapped by the kingdom ure currently in ?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!? the fact true king 1) has the luminary table = the luminary knights. baragona & walfrid r friends with dad (i need to get back to it but theres some dialogue about it belonging to erste?tau'luk when i get u) 2) essentially forces captain into a political engagement with his daughter. like. gran is NOT having a good time in oarlyegrande. they do not want to return even when this is all over. sorry oarlyegrande is so much i cant stop talking unfortunately for everyone i am obsesseed with main quest

[kyrodo]

If you took basic psychology maybe you'd stop taking actions against people that you've understood on a 90% off fucking discount. You don't have a fucking excuse. Last I recall when R block evaded me likely using his ad, I didn't break into his house. All sorts of stupid shit happens when people get heartbroken and you haven't given people time to recover. You could have fucking waited. Stalking the same way we started our parasocial interaction, communicating the same way we were already communicating, block evading, name changing, emotional posts in places only you would check, looking him up on telegram. Invasive, ridiculously emotional, but par for the fucking course. I'm sorry, what about my actions doesn't make any fucking sense to you asshole? You know I've never looked at a wounded animal and wondered why the fuck they're crying. Cringing in pain or doing whatever it takes to cope with those emotions. The expressions of emotions I made were colorful and loud, but I didn't do a single thing to you bitch. If only you gave people more than a week to fuck off, or better yet actually wanted them to in the first place before hitting them with a fucking ruler.

How many times do you need me to remind you that your actions are purely aggressive, not reactive. You deliberately sought my attention looking for me to respond to something the moment this should have been fucking over. The moment I was finally about to get out of your hair but the iron was still hot. When a part of me would still be searching for hope false or not. And you made a fucking decision. Decisions like yours come with a fucking price tag.

Had I been dealing with anyone else in your position I was still well within my lane in the grand scheme of things that happened and what I felt. Too bad you're not most people. Only you would choose the third option not a week in after I said this was over. Not many people would hack someone they haven't even tried to talk to. That's all you. This is your answer to every conflict and every dispute that you don't actually give a fuck about ending peacefully.

I don't understand how you fucking live doing shit like that to people. Not because they deserve it but because you want whatever shitty feeling of superiority over people you don't like. I am a near endless source of words when I'm mad, some of which can be exploited by those who want cheap forms of revenge against. But your actions speak louder than my words EVER will.

How can I be so loud, so noisy, but the special bitch of the moment turns out to be you. How does that make any fucking sense? You would have been better off letting me rant and rant till my keyboard broke, poke fun at it with all your friends, block me everywhere, recover, move on talk about me in whatever demeaning way you pleased, and I would have remained the villain here whether you did me justice or not. "Oh look at this asshole who was stalking me on Twitter." You had that advantage and you threw it away. You don't understand how little you had to do to be the hero or the victim at the end of the day. But you don't know when to fucking stop.

Sometimes the best thing you can do about something is nothing at all. Maybe you should try it sometime. This wouldn't be the same tragedy if you weren't a fucking prick.

And think about things from my position for once. Whatever feeling, whatever I'm hoping for. The things I'd be self conscious about and trying to find clues on what's being discussed about me before you start instigating a fucking "zoom meeting" with me. If you had even the slightest sense of emotional intelligence, I'd have so much less to be mad about right now. Just because you like horror doesn't mean you can't be a decent fucking human being. The way I see it didn't take a whole lot of guess work to actually figure me out, you just didn't fucking care.

Even though I used to scatter information about myself to the four winds, you had more than enough immediately visible information not be a fucking bitch.

[pixievi]

Who’s a good girl? Sneak peak

! nsfw ! minors do not interact or I will eat your kneecaps

Read here :

It was no secret that Vi had to plaster herself to your side whenever you were around. It was quickly discovered earlier on into your relationship that she was very clingy. Not that you minded, you encouraged it in fact. You were just happy to see her be comfortable enough to express herself freely. Vi found security in your presence, being the one constant thing in her otherwise chaotic life. So by law, she absolutely had to be as close as possible - holding hands, hugging, wrapping arms around each other’s waist’s, kissing, sitting in each other’s lap’s, devouring her pu-

It was great. Except for these last two weeks. Which weren’t so great. Duty called in hard and you were buried in work, not even having a moment to yourself let alone your pouting girlfriend. She was sulking, you could tell. You would have been thoroughly amused if you weren’t ticked off by the situation yourself. For the first few days, Vi did try and push away her disappointment because she understood it wasn’t your fault. That you would much rather spend your time with her than that of your paperwork and deadlines. However by day four, Vi was ready to punt your boss for stealing you away from her. How dare he?

The last few days, Vi had gone through multiple schemes to get your attention. They started out innocently, then slowly got more and more mischievous. Leaving the bathroom door open when she showered so you could see the way the water droplets rippled down her toned body, wearing your oversized hoodies with nothing but panties - oh, that was another scheme. She began to wear panties instead of her usual boxers and made sure you knew about it - wearing your skimpy nightgowns, bending over right in front of you…..the list goes on. Vi was smug, she knew the effect it was having on you. The both of you for that matter. These past two weeks you had barely gone past kissing and hugging with her, and it was torture. Vi’s brattiness didn’t help either.

You wanted nothing more than to bend her over your desk and not leave your office until her legs were shaking.

This will be my first smut fic! Please let me know in the comments if you’d like to be tagged in the final post which will be posted soon. Keep in mind I’m still working my way around tumblr so apologies if I mess anything up 😭 Fair warning this fic will be pure filth :)

[georgiaheartsdilfs]

→ you're distracting (part 2) klaus m x f!reader

part one: her instead of me tagged: @the-big-bad-klaus @secretdreamlandmentality @multifandom-boss-bitchmy masterlist ↪M A S T E R L I S T

prompt ↪ You're human, living in the world of supernatural beings wasn't a new concept to you but the idea of falling in love with one was. You had been Klaus's friend for a good bit of a year or two, in that time you had fallen in love with him. You always saw him with Cami, some even said that they were in love so, being the good friend you are you decided to keep your love for him a secret... until Cami rubbed it in your face. warnings / other notes ↪ Camille O'Connell Slander <3 ↪ when the call come to the story you are in red italics, klaus is in black italic ↪swearing and angry stuff ↪ on the phone you are red italics, other person is black italics I dug myself a grave, each word deepening his frown before I walked out. No one would escape him like I could, no one could escape him like I could, without consequence. Luckily my apartment was a place he couldn't enter without my permission, my life was based on pure luck. Pure luck that he wouldn't bite me, pure luck that he wouldn't go spastic on me. As the next day hit, the sun blaring in the face, the voices of the citizens as they greet their neighbours hello. Hopping out of my bed, pushing any loose strand of hair out of my face, I walk over to my balcony door swinging them open to reveal The Mikaelson meeting happing across the pond. Watching their lips move, words coming out. All of them standing around, Hayley giving Klaus the look of disapproval whilst Elijah stands behind her with no emotion, Rebekah and Marcel shaking their heads, Freya doing the same. Klaus, being Klaus, explaining his elaborate scheme that he would go through with despite everyone's opinions. Then Camille, walking into the room only to notice that level of knowledge in the room. Looking around she leaves, the look on Elijah's face as he watches Camille leave.

As the morning continues, I move walking over to my bathroom. The Mikaelson meeting started getting violent which was something I had seen a million times, it's not something I liked to see but it just happens. Turning the shower on, the water falling out of the shower head I step inside. Closing the glass door, the water falling onto my body, rolling off like repellent. All my thoughts were focused on two things, Camille and Klaus. Camille kissing Klaus. Camille holding Klaus. Camille comforting Klaus. All things I could do without having to date him, yet she had to date him in order for it to work. The relationship was the only reason the world liked Camille, the relationship and the fact she can serve booze. The thought of him waking up to her, seeing her face as her eyes fluttered making his heart go wild. I could do that to any man that spoke to me, yet I didn't, I only wanted him. That's it, I will see him today, like I said.

Storming out of my apartment, throwing my coat over the shirt that he had given me once to keep me safe. My phone vibrates in my pocket as I huff placing my keys in the keyhole of my door making sure it's locked. "shut up" I mumble pulling the phone out to answer it. hello? yes, y/n, it seems like you've done a number on my brother i was wondering if we were to expect you today? what? i mean yeah i was just on my way over. splendid bye bye Well that was an unexpected call, Elijah seemed concerned. What does he mean I've done a number on Klaus? Walking out to the footpath, the cars were driving past like crazy. There were a few chances to run past... if i were a vampire. Finally making it across, I see Marcel speaking to Elijah and Rebekah. They all seemed pissed off "hey originals and marcel" I wave making them all turn their heads to face me. All with angry looks on their faces, Elijah sighs "y/n, you've made it." he says sort of relieved "yeah there was traffic." I point back at the road "you need to have a word with Nik." Rebekah cuts me off "oh?" I say puzzled. "Whatever you said to him last night, he's refusing to leave this house." Marcel says as I look between the three of them "how do you know it's my fault?" I ask, I don't see how my words could affect the great Klaus Mikaelson. "He just repeats your name, Camille came towards him today-" Elijah stops to take a step closer "he didn't look at her, he just said you're name it's just odd" he continues and I nod "I suppose I need to undo what I did?" I mumble. My arms crossed they all nod eagerly "he has to go out to get a medallion soon, he can't do so if his mind is on you." Rebekah says in the kindest way she could, obviously it didn't sound like that. Stomping away "I didn't feel like talking to him today, but when three of the strongest vampires kinda say i have to" I mumble walking slowly up the steps "i suppose I have to" I huff reaching the top "where is he?" I look down to him and they all point towards their foyer. Opening the door to the foyer I see Klaus on his chair, contemplating his recent life choices, or so I like to think. I stand in front of him and every emotion on his face had disappeared, with a swift cock of the eyebrow emanating his 'power' and his confidence "save it" I mumble putting my hand up, the cockiness fading on his face. "I was coming to visit you today, maybe later you know like i said. Until Elijah calls me saying I did a number on you." I say in a sassy tone as he opens his mouth "you did not do a number on me" he says rolling his eyes. "the repetition of my name says otherwise, I didn't know what you were saying but I did see it from my balcony." hands on my hips looking at him and he looks away, his tongue rubbing along the inside of his cheek. "what?" I say as the look on his face gets cocky again "you leave me and my thoughts all night" he says "what klaus mikaelson doesn't think?" I ask him blocking the view of my apartment from his chair. "i broke it off with Camille" he says catching me off guard "and what? what's that mean?" I ask him "you, you're distracting you know." he says pointing at me and I nod rolling my eyes. I raise my shoulders, what was I suppose to do with that information? "yeah i get that a lot?" I shrug "so what?" I continue, he just ended a relationship because i was distracting? that's ridiculous. "no one has ever made me question what I've felt for someone before y/n. no one, and then you come along and then i don't know if i like you or i love you." he mumbles standing up "about last night, it was stupid and sure distracting or whatever but you didn't have to end things with Cami." I say to him. "then why did you tell me all those things love" he said getting closer to me "because i was angry, i thought you'd understand that i had to let something out." I say saving myself from the already dug grave. "yet you'd know i'd do anything for you." he says intimidating me "i mean y-no, i don't know about that." I say jumbling up my words. "you did, that's why you told me to come

back." he says placing a hand on my cheek. My face starts to flare up, his thumb gliding across my cheek. "i do love you, you know." he whispers "i didn't say anything about love, Niklaus" I say, whenever I called him Niklaus I was nervous, anxious even. I was finally the closest I have ever been to his lips, they were so close I could kiss him. That isn't me. Yet my every instinct is telling me to do it. "I can tell, your heart is beating differently than it usually does, it's faster, more bold if it makes sense." he whispers not removing his hand, my heart was going 105mph if that was even possible. "love is something that takes years" I say trying to smoothen the curve "i'm a thousand years old, y/n, i think i know when people are in love." he chuckles. "but Cami-" "Camille knew what she was getting herself into, it was all a perfectly placed plan." he smile sweetly "so the whole rubbing it in thing?" I ask him, it didn't quite make sense. I'm so sure Camille was in love with him, as he was her. "i told her to do it, I wasn't quite sure at first, of your feelings." he smiles removing his hand as I quickly grab it putting it back and he chuckles lightly. "you love me? and you planned this?" I ask him and he nods "just the way you like me, all plans, all thought." he says getting closer "all smirks and cockiness with you isn't it?" I ask "all questions with you." he responds. Screw it, I lean in kissing him. He places his other hand on my cheek, holding me safely, he kissed back immediately. The moment I had been waiting months for was finally happening. We pull apart and I look at him with wide eyes "wait" I say wide-eyed and he gives me a confused look "if we get married..." I pause pointing at him savouring the taste of him on my lips. "i'd be hope's step mother." I say excited "I thought you'd like the fact that you'd be my wife more..." he says laughing "thats fine too" I laugh.

[where-theres-smoak-2]

Oh man I was scrambling trough tumblr tag and I saw this LB quote about Aleksander: "The Darkling is beautiful, I wanted to create a leader who was charismatic, appealing, a dictator you could imagine yourself following, an antagonist you couldn't just dismiss. [...] The Darkling is beautiful and broken and had a rough childhood, but he's also a brutal, manipulative monster with no regard for human life. He's dangerous because he's seductive, because he evokes sympathy.

…I just don’t even know when to start with this? Can she come off as anymore ignorant and offensive by trying to sound so woke. I mean “beautiful and broken”?! Are you kidding me?!

(Book Spoilers. Trigger Warning: Trauma and Mental Health)

Hmm well I'm not sure you could really sum it up as a 'rough childhood' more like a rough life filled with alot of trauma that has left him isolated and struggling to form human connections. Also I'm not sure I like the term monster for someone who is made the way they are through trauma and also the line about him having no regard for human life is just false he has lines he wont cross which is why he didn't harm the grisha children in book 3 and he was never going to because he values their lives. To be honest though I had some issues with the way LB dealt with trauma and mental health in the books. Not just with Aleks either but with Sergei too, actually I found the way she treated Sergei and his mental health in the last book rather appalling. Sergei is established as being severely traumatised by losing Marie to the point where he struggles to function properly. I think out of all the characters in the trilogy he's depicted as having the worst trauma, all the other characters have bad dreams and what not but Sergei really does find it debilitating and he struggles with day to day tasks like eating, sleeping and even just walking/travelling takes its toll on him. But Alina's attitude towards Sergei at times was troubling. To be clear though I'm not blaming the character for this as it was just the way she was written but she seems to consider Sergei weak and his mental health a hindrance. Here are some extracts from R&R the first is right after Sergei accidently revealed Genya's real name to Nikolai:

I shot to my feet. “What happened?”

“Sergei let her real name slip. He seems to be taking to heights about as well as he took to caves.” I released a growl of frustration. Genya had played a key role in the Darkling’s plot to depose the King. I’d tried to be patient with Sergei, but now he’d put her in danger and jeopardised our position with Nikolai.

Sergei was nowhere to be found. Probably a good thing, since I didn’t have time to give him the pummelling he deserved.

And like I understand that this must have been a frustrating situation but Alina knows that Sergei is struggling with his trauma and that he didn't mean to cause anyone any harm. I can understand her frustration but I really don't like the line about the 'pummelling he deserves'. I just don't like the suggestion that a person who is clearly suffering from a mental health issue deserves to be punished for making a mistake because of his trauma. Here's another instance where Alina is annoyed at Sergei:

Sergei had slowed us during our fight with the militia. He was unstable. I could apologise, offer useless words, but I didn’t know how to help him, and it didn’t change the fact that we were at war. Sergei had become a liability.

Again I get the frustration but again I have issues with the suggestion that because they are at war Sergei should just pull it together. Or even this image that's being painted that people who have mental health issues are just a burden on those around them. People in real life who suffer with similar mental health issues like depression and anxiety often worry about feeling like a burden to their loved ones so this could be really triggering for them. Then there is this from Baghra:

“We came to find you. What’s the matter with that boy?”

“He’s had a hard time of it,” I said, leading them away from the tank room.

“Who hasn’t?”

“He saw the girl he loved gutted by your son and held her while she died.”

“Suffering is cheap as clay and twice as common. What matters is what each man makes of it."

This one really troubled me because its like LB is saying that you can control your own trauma or decide how the trauma is going to effect you. It's again this suggestion that Sergei is weak because he struggled with his trauma more than others did. But the part that actually kind of disgusted me when I read it and I actually had to stop reading the book for a bit because of how much it upset me is how the characters talk about Sergei after his death. Alina had sent Sergei away because she felt he had become a liability and he then went back to the darkling and told them all the information he had on Alina and co. This move was obviously one born of his trauma and was made out of desperation. On several occasions Sergei has said he is struggling with feeling safe and no matter how hard he tries he never feels safe. Alina even tells us that Sergei had gone back to the darkling looking for reassurance and safety which really makes sense, this man grew up at the LP the one place where grisha could be safe, he grew up under the protection of the darkling. Then he chose to stand with Alina and went through the trauma and grief of losing the woman he loved horrifically in an attack against the LP which was his original safe place. He then never feels safe again so it would make sense for him to go back to what previously had made him feel safe, the LP and the Darkling. But this is what the other characters say about Sergei after he is killed by the darkling:

I sat beside him, unsure what to say. I remembered sitting like this with Sergei in the tank room, searching for words of comfort and failing. Had he been scheming then, manipulating me? His fear had certainly seemed real.

Abruptly, Zoya said, “I should have known Sergei couldn’t be trusted. He was always a weakling.”

Though that seemed unfair, I let it pass.

“Oncat never liked him,” Harshaw added.

Genya fed a branch to the fire. “Do you think he was planning it all along?”

“I’ve been wondering that,” I admitted. “I thought he’d be better once we got out of the White Cathedral and the tunnels, but he almost seemed worse, more anxious.”

Abruptly, Adrik snarled, “I’m glad Sergei’s dead. I’m just sorry I didn’t get to wring his neck myself.”

Steel is earned. Adrik had that steel, and so did Nadia. She’d proven it again in our flight from the Elbjen. A part of me had wondered what Tamar saw in her. But Nadia had been in some of the worst fighting at the Little Palace. She’d lost her best friend and the life she’d always known. Yet she hadn’t fallen apart like Sergei or chosen life underground like Maxim. Through all of it, she’d stayed steady.

And yes again I understand why they feel betrayed but they knew that Sergei was struggling and instead of understanding that Alina is accusing him of manipulating her and Zoya is saying he couldn't be trusted and that he was a weakling. To be honest it kind of reminds me of the way people talk about the darkling. Instead of recognising their trauma and trying to understand they jump straight to well they were a bad, untrustworthy person who was manipulating me.

Then there is the last part where Alina is thinking about how Adrik and Nadia are strong because although they faced trauma they were able to keep going and keep fighting but not Sergei, Sergei was crippled by his grief and his trauma and this means he was weak. Maybe its because I have struggled with crippling mental health issues myself where I couldn't even get out of bed let alone do anything else but I just found this implication that Sergei was weak really offensive to those who do struggle that way. People deal with trauma in different ways and whilst some people can fight through it and will just have a keep calm and carry on attitude others can't, others just fall apart, but that doesn't make them weak. I also don't think this 'just carry on and push through it' attitude towards mental health issues is necessarily a healthy message. If you need help then you should ask for it and be able to have access to it. LB could have used this as an opportunity to show a character who is severely traumatised getting support and help to work through his trauma and heal. But I feel like nobody really helped Sergei and any comfort or support he got seemed to be grudgingly given and there was more of an attitude of I'll try to help you because your issues are a hindrance to me than because any of the characters actually cared about him and wanted to help him.

Sergei and the Darkling were both characters that were 'beautiful and broken' but neither one of them was given the support or help they needed. Instead they were painted as either weak or as a monster. So what kind of message does this send to readers who also struggle with trauma and mental health conditions?

[visd3stele]

literary parallel : Nikolai Lantstov, Kaz Brekker, The Darkling

disclaimer:

saw a tumblr like this on pinterest and decided to get my own take on it, but can't remember the user's name. If you happen to know them, pls tag them.

this is about book characters and my take on them, NOT about the show and DEFINITELY NOT about the actors. THE ACTORS ARE NOT THEIR CHARACTERs (yes, I am obviously implying that I love Freddy and Ben)

feel free to start/join a debate, but respond nicely and respectfully!

°•▪︎~▪︎•° Proceed carefully, spoilers °•▪︎~▪︎•°

At first glance, there is nothing alike in these three characters. An almost hero, a dark morally grey character and a real villain. What can they possibly have in common? Well, I found some similar aspects, if you're kind enough to stick 'til the end. Be warned, though, it will be a long enough read, not a properly academic essay, but a prelude of one, if you will.

Quick characters' presentation:

Nikolai Lanstov, prince of Ravka, is certainly not a hero. But as a morally grey guy, he leans heavily on the good side. He's selfless, kind and fair. A natural born leader who cares deeply about those under his command. Blessed with a bright mind, Nikolai is also a great inventor, being known for his crazy, yet spectacular inventions and ideas.

However, the young prince is never afraid to take one step after another, dancing around the dark side. To win the crew's respect as Sturmhond he cut a man's fingers and fed it to his wolf, for instance. Even though he puts on a confident show, the reality is a bit different.

Kaz Brekker takes things a little farther. Driven by his revenge, the boy becomes a prodigy criminal. Willing to do whatever it takes to see a job through, greedy and selfish, Kaz would never bet against his team. The bastard of the Barrel doesn't like too many people and he certainly cares about less, but when it comes to his crows, he'd work tooth and nail to see them breathing by the end of the day.

Sharp, cunning and terribly smart, Brekker managed to make himself a terror for Ketterdam. Learned magic tricks all by himself at a ripe age, taught himself how to pull the biggest strings around the corrupted city and always has a plan at hand. Even when things don't go as he originally thought, his schemes run so deep and tangled, only the wanted outcome can occur in the end.

However, he still has some limits and boundaries, lines he won't cross and a scratch of morality (see the scene where he flips some guy off a roof because he dared threatened a r*pe victim, for example - not just, but this is what comes to my mind).

The Darkling won't let anything stay in the way of his plans. Viewing himself as the only possible savior of Ravka, this man is a pro manipulator. Dark, powerful, patient and intelligent, the Darkling doesn't care who gets hurt as long as the biggest picture of the greatest good he sees come to pass.

He pulls the strings, never yielding control, trusting no one but himself. He owns so many masks, plays so many roles he cannot act like Aleksander Morozova anymore. The man he becomes is ruthless, vicious and scary, shedding pieces of himself for his cause until there is nothing left. Tragic, really.

This guy has zero morals, no boundaries, no limits. He'd cross any line without remorse (4 words: Genya and the king)

Following a five points argument, I will try to draw a parallel between these three interesting characters: the edges and the middle of the same line:

messy upbringings

incredible intelligence

loneliness

drives and ambitions

love interest

Despite, or rather exactly because of, his noble status, Nikolai Lanstov grew up ignored by his family, with barely any friends in sight. However, the most painful side of his childhood must have been the rumors about his parentage. Being a bastard made young Nikolai feel the need to constantly prove himself, which later bottled up in his personality, hidden behind fake confidence.

His character is seen as mischievous, a young trouble maker who can't sit still, by the high nobility of Ravka and the servants in the castle. He seeks comfort in books, thinkering with metal and wood until he comes to create his notorious fleet (amongst other). But even as a little child, Nikolai learns kindness, solidarity and compassion, as seen when he finally makes a friend. Qualities that later will help him be a beloved leader.

He befriended the boy brought to calm his temper. This boy would take the prince's punishments when he misbehaves, something which Nikolai won't allow. His connection with the other boy, friendship that lasted a long while until their departure on the battlefield, assured the future king stays on the good side.

By the age of fourteen, Kaz Brekker managed to make a name of himself in the darkest, most dangerous part of Ketterdam, the Barrel. As a child, he lost everything: his parents, his home and eventually his brother. Gaining a touch aversion and trauma, plus a late limp and a scary cane, the boy build a myth around himself, Dirty Hands. But all his efforts were to take revenge on the man who was responsable for his brother's death.

The ruthless lieutenant of the Dregs, the daring jobs and impossible heists, weren't just out of greed for money and power. He needed money and power to take down a monster. Kaz actually cares about his people - and not just the crows, but those loyal to him. In his own way, long since unused to love. More than that, he has principles, morals. For example, when he was threatening information out of a man, he was willing to let the person go after he got what he needed from them. But as soon as the man offered him dirt on a pleasure house girl, Kaz killed him.

Also, he knows what he is. He knows he's bad and rotten. He admits it and accepts it. But for the one he loves, he can try to change.

The Darkling was born as Aleksander Morozova. His mother pampered him, feeding him the tale of his godly power. In her attempt to shield him, for the Grisha were treated awfully, his mother prevented the boy from creating real connections with the world. Aleksander grew up a dreamer, persecuted by people he got to hate them, despise them. Not even Grisha, his own people, could be trusted. The Darkling is a living amplifier, which means his bones could power up a Grisha talent. An incident in one of the camps, when a girl tried to kill him for that exact reason, rose dread and fear in his heart. It was then he decided to never trust anyone but himself again and vowed to make the world safer for Grisha so no one would have to end up like that girl.

So, all alone - because his mother was colder than Ravka's snows - Aleksander begin plotting. He only had his own view of the world, no one to correct him, challenge him. Left to believe the worst of everyone he meets, thinking its better to control people rather than building relationships with them. So he never got to care about another being, but himself. Yes, his scope may have been noble, pure and good, but it got stamped over by years of wrong lived life.

The Darkling sacrificed anyone and anything to the cause, keeping the walls around himself high and thick. Not caring who gets hurt or how many die, he kept believing he's Grisha only hope, their savior. He never saw his wrongs.

All three have great minds. Nikolai read and learned everything he knows all by himself. War game, strategies, science, you name it, he studied it, know it. Kaz is a man boy of many tricks, courtesy to no one but his strong will. He picked up magic tricks from watching people in the streets, he taught himself lock-picking, he learned the going of the Barrel and worked his way to the top. The Darkling didn't manage to build a safe palace for Grisha because he was dumb. He's not a general of the Second Army because he's brainless. He thinks. He thinks a lot way too much. He knows the games of the court, how to scheme and plot. Manipulate and deflect. But what is possibly his greatest ( and worse) achievement is when he learned merzost by himself, an unnatural practice of the Grisha, forbidden and only information about it being barely scrapped over in some journals.

All three are lonely, in their own rights. Surrounded by masses of people, the prince is never feeling himself. He has to hide from them, or else he risk hearing unpleasantries. On the battlefield, leading his troops, he felt better, but the wearying feeling of not good enough, one he never shows, is constantly at the back of his mind. Even as Sturmhond, his alter ego, he cannot share himself wholly with his crew.

Kaz chooses to keep to himself, trust coming hard to him. Besides, he works better alone, no one to annoy him, no one to distract him. But it doesn't mean he's happy. How can he be wholly when he yearns for touch, but never able to reach out?

Much like the others, Aleksander brings up a wall around himself to protect what is left of him. He chooses to be alone, his work far too important to risk the mingling of another mind, which he'd view as nothing compared to his.

All three are driven by past trauma that leaves its mark on them to present days. All work from the shadows, posing to the public only what they want to be known. But the takes each follow to fulfill their goals couldn't be more different.

If both Nikolai and The Darkling want a better Ravka, the former wants to build it alongside his people while the latter would have everyone on their knees, ready to take orders. Kaz never dreamed of a better world, but it doesn't mean he can't see it through. As a boss of Ketterdam's worse criminals, he can shape the city as he likes, and as I said before, the boy does have principles.

They all fall for strong, powerful, amazing women. But that is where the similarities end (with The Darkling, at least). Nikolai and Kaz would give up Zoya and Inej in an instant if that'd make the girls happy. Nikolai loves her adderantely, not just for her looks, but also for Zoya's brave hurt, sharp mind, skills in a fight and the fierceness with which she protects her own. Therefore, Nikolai gives her his crown, knowing she'll make a remarkable queen. And when he said "Then I'll love her from my grave" as an answer to the question how will their relationship work seeing he'll die long before her, only shows the devotion, affection, love and loyalty that runs deep in his heart.

Kaz lets Inej go because she needs it. They both need to heal their own selves first before trying to work something together. Which only shows how much Kaz respects and loves Inej. In the savage way of Ketterdam, but love her nonetheless. So much, in fact, he's willing to piece himself together for her. Not just work on his trauma and touch aversion, but be a better person altogether. Plus, Kaz didn't just offer Inej space for herself she well needed and deserved, he also gave her room to find herself outside the Barrel and reconnect with her long lost family.

Now The Darkling is a whole different matter. Unfortunately for poor Aleksander Morozova, The Darkling doesn't know how to love. Doesn't understand love ( yes, he never really was on the receiving end of it, but he's a hundred years old grown man he can do better if he so chooses to try). He expects Alina to fix him "you might make me a better man", but never puts effort into changing. His feelings looks more like an obsession than actual love, with him being convinced they were made for each other because of their powers and refusing to let her make her own decisions. He wants her to sooth his loneliness, but doesn't understand, or won't accept, that for as long as he remains hidden, she can't do anything at all. Besides, he s*xually assaults Alina and treats her horrendously after his real identity is revealed, threatening her, making her believe she's going crazy, not allowing her privacy (which shows how little to no respect he has for her). So, he doesn't love her, just wants her love.

Therefore, Nikolai is what the Darkling could have been if not losing himself to his own demons and long life and Kaz is the other side of a coin he's sharing with Sturmhond, the result of a decaying society like Aleksander, but never getting to taste the curse of immortality.

notes:

1. I do think that the Darkling would be reedemable if he acknowledge that he is not perfect and feels truly guilty and wants to do better

2. His redemption doesn't have to bring forgivness to it, because redemption is about the character seeking it, regardless of the others' justified wish to not firgive him

3. I feel like he is different in the show and I hope it will take a different path than the books (a few points on why he is diferent:

-his display of merzost is shown as a mistake based on emotional response and not a deliberate move gone wrong

-he seems closer to grisha at the little palace; unlike in the books when he rarely is present, in the show he knows them by name, is pattient and involved in their training and is invested in knowing about their well being

-more respect for women

-trying to talk to Alina and listen rather than dismissing her, even if he doesn't have a change of heart yet)

[isomorphismes]

There are no theorems in category theory.

Emily Riehl, Category Theory In Context

Mathematicians often tell her this; hence the book.

If I had to summarise her views in one sentence, it would be:

Everything is an adjunction.

I also like the division these mathematicians are making to her: essentially, a theorem is anything that solves Feynman’s challenge: by a series of clear, unsurprising steps, one arrives at an unexpected conclusion.

Examples for me include:

17 possible tessellations

6 ways to foliate a surface

27 lines on a cubic

1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 28, 2, 8, 6, 992, 1, 3, 2, 16256, 2, 16, 16, 523264, 24, 8, 4 ways to link any-dimensional spheres.

the existence of sporadic groups

surprising rep-theory consequences of Young diagrams, Ferrers sequences, and so on (you could say the strangeness of integer partitions is really to blame here…)

59 icosahedra

8 geometric layouts

Books which are bristling with mathematical ideas of this kind include Montesinos on tessellations, Geometry and the Imagination (the original one), and Coxeter’s book on polyhedra (start with Baez on A-D-E if you want to follow my path). Moonshine and anything by Thurston or his students, I’ve found similarly flush with shockng content—quite different to what I thought mathematics would be like. (I had pictured something more like a formal logic book: row by row of symbols. But instead, the deeper I got into mathematics, the fewer the symbols and the more the surnames thanking the person who came up with some good idea.)

Note that a theorem is different here to some geometry — as in The Geometry of Schemes. The word geometry used in that sense, I feel, is to have a comprehensive enough vision of a subject to say how it “looks” — but the word theorem means the result is surprising or unintuitive.

This definition of a theorem, to me, presents a useful challenge to annoying pop-psychology that today lurks under the headings of Bayesianism, cognitive _______, behavioural econ/finance, and so on.

Following Buliga and Thurston to understand the nature of mathematical progress, within mathematics at least (where it’s clearer than elsewhere whether you understand something or not—compare to economic theory for example), there is a clear delination of what’s obvious and what’s not.

What is definitely not the case in mathematics, is that every logical or computable consequence of a set of definitions is computed and known immediately when the definitions are stated! You can look at a (particularly a good) mathematical exposition as walking you through the steps of which shifts in perspective you need to take to understand a conclusion. For example start with some group, then consider it as a topological object with a cohomology to get the centraliser. Or in Fourier analysis: re-present line-elements on a series of widening circles. Use hyperbolic geometry to learn about integers. Use stable commutator length (geometry) to learn about groups. Or read about Teichmüller stuff and mapping class groups because it’s the confluence of three rivers.

Sometimes mathematical explanations require fortitude (Gromov’s "energy") and sometimes a shift in perspective (Gromov’s (neg)"entropy").

This view of theorems should be contrasted to the disease of generalisation in mathematical culture. Citing two real-life grad students and a tenured professor in logic (one philosophical, one mathematical, the professor in computer science):

I like your distinction between hemi-toposes, demi-toposes, and semi-toposes

I care about hyper-reals, sur-reals, para-consistency, and so on

Abstract thought — like mathematicians do — is the best kind of thought.

(twitter.com/replicakill, the author of twitter.com/logicians, ragged on David Lewis by saying “What do mathematicians like?” “What do mathematicians think?” —— And Corey Mohler has done a wonderful job of mocking Platonism, which is how I guess the thirst for over-generalisation reaches non-mathematicians.)

Paul Halmos knew that cool examples beat generalisations for generalisation’s sake, as did V. I. Arnol’d. And it seems that the people a Harvard mathematician spends her time with make reasonable demands of a mathematical idea as well. It shouldn’t just contain previous theories; it should surprise. In Buliga’s Blake/Reynolds dispute, Blake wins hands down.

[f1nalboys]

Peacemaker Season 1 Episode 2 Live Post

(just my live reactions to the episode as it goes)

-HOPING FOR MORE ADRIAN love the pacing so far a lot happens without it being overwhelming!! very excited to see where the plot goes :3

ALSO if u want to mute this tag to avoid my love posts then black list b reacts live <3

-“you can’t see me jerk off through that thing can you” ITS IN HIS SKILLFNWKDNWKND

-i love eagley

-i like the intro but i will be skipping it it’s too long

-ok so i knew the butterflies were gonna be something fucked up

-“where the fuck are my SOCKS”

-him having to sit down to put his socks on JFKSKND

-LEOTA ASKING IF THE OUTFITS HER DOG WEARS WILL MAKE IT A BIGGER TARGETBDISNJDEJ

-i love her

-“almost hit that bitch” JFKWKFJEJ

-HELWJCKKWD

-OK eagley bringing the possum over to the thing was to make it the reason behind the explosion 😭😭😭 giggles

-LOCHLYN MUNRO???

-leota loves her little dog emerson :3

-“i think he just likes looking smart” JFNWKFJJD

-HIM ROBBING THE LADYJDKWNXKNWKD

-his stupid ass ringtone

-peacemaker feeding eagley chips

-THE COP SINGING SBT CATCHING A BAD GUYDJFIRJ

-him holding a bloody knife CMONNNN

-HES OBVIOUSLY A PROFESSIONAL LOOK HOW HES DRESSED AMBER

-him flirting w this guys wife

-HES LIKE 😦🤨

-“ARE YOU SERIOUSLY TRYING TO GET HIM TO FUCK YOU RIGHT NOw AMBER”

-peacemaker watching them fight like 😳

-“YOU ARE FUCKING MY SPIRIT”

-JFKWJCKE

-SHE WANTED HIM TI FUCK HER HE LEFT AND HER BF LAUGHED ST HER

-the baby waving at him :3

-him breaking his bones again

-where’s adrian i. want. adrian.

-this man is fucking himself up fr 😭

-IS FHIS VIGILANTIE

-oh :/

-it’s emilia whatever

-SORRY I LOVE HER I DO i jsut need adrian

-eagley :3

-“you can’t house train an eagle dude, not without stealing its soul”

-leota getting everyone else hyped!!! my beloved

-HFNSKNFKWND

-james or whatever his name is changed christopher’s finger prints to his dads 😈

-oh so that didn’t work very well

-“am i supposed to text you when i’m taking a shit???” “I WOULDVE AOORECIATED IT” JFNOWNCKWND SHUT UPPPP

-“and now i feel like you’re mad at me” and “don’t use the i word man” are such stupid but funny lines 😭😭

-i like the lady cop whats her name

-sophie song <3

-“YOU EVER BEEN SHOT AT? :D” “……………..…no :(“ JFKOSNDIW

-christopher and james r besties but also worsties

-if emilia accuses leota of doing shit one more time… like YEAH she is feeding info to waller BUT FUCK YOU

-“i trust her the most because eagley likes her :D” “he tried to bite me” “yeah but not as hard as he tries to bite everyone else”

-“john didn’t do it” “thank you!” “he’s too big of a pussy to betray us” “alright :(“ JFKWNDJ THE CONVOS R SO FUNNYYY

-“I DONT EVEN LIKE WHEN MY BALLS ARE IN SOMEBODYS MOUTH OKAY? it gives me the wrong type of chills and all i can think about is how long it’s been since i’ve gotten checked for testicular cancer” PNFKWNDKWNDJ

-this thing isn’t even my thoughts anymore it’s just me quoting the funny lines

-PEACEMAKER IS SO STUPFIWJFJNS

-he left the dossier of his assasination target in the apartment of the girl he fucjed and murn was like “u left it in the apartment of some girl who blew u?” and he goes “SHES NOT SOME RANDO WHO BLEW ME MAN, we fully fucked”

-nah peacemaker is right they haven’t told him shit like y’all sometimes a little info is necessary

-“am i a fucking dick vampire now” HE MAKES ME SO SICKWJDOWJJD

-“when we’re u gonna tell us there were witnesses?” “i did kidnap a couple for a minute :/“

-his trailer sucks like the color scheme is awful

-he’s a records guy :3

-WHERES ADRIAN. i’m starting to get pissed i want my man 🗣️🗣️

-HIM CRYIDNOWCNWOND

-he’s just like me

-ADRIANNNNFJWJDKNWICS

-HES HEREEEEE

-GOD HIS VOICE

-his costume is sexy

-sorry the whole interaction w these two abt louis c k 😭😭

-adrian’s voice 😵‍💫😵‍💫

-“can you maybe teach em to me :3” OHHHHHHH IM FUCKED HES SO BABY GIRL I WANT GIM SO BAD

-leota <3

-“r u trying to fucking bribe us?” “no!!” “oh i was hoping u we’re trying to bribe us” “yes yes i am bribing u :D”

-adrian wanting to clean his place up :(

-PEACEMAKER SAY HES UR BFF

-he’s so silly asking where everything goes

-HE FOUND HIS POCKET PUSSYKFNWKFNS

-i always found the “adult character not knowing what a sex toy is” thing weird bc ur telling me adrian hasn’t gotten pussy before???

-ADRIAN USES POCKET PUSSIES OK???? it’s my canon that scene didn’t happen or it did and it was funny in a different way bc that man uses one and goes Hard.

-anyways sorry. got distracted.

-“YOU THINK THEYD LET ME OUT OF PRISON TO DELIVER FUCKING MAIL” “idk it was the first government job i could think of” adrian said support the post office <3

-not the graffiti artist kills 😭😭

-“well it does 😂🤣” SHUT UP ADRIAJFOWNDJS he’s so :3

-THE SCENE OF THEM BLOWING AND SHOOTING SHIT UP <3

-besties for life!!!

-also yes fuck u auggie i’m glad ur getting arrested

-wait sorry guys the cop….larry….. hes uhm. yeah. sorry

-SORRY. he’s just

-ok moving on

-THE DOG W THR UKELEIELWKD

-leota sending her wife away :(((

-she knows it’s dangerous for her wife to be there :((

-HE FUCKED AMBER????

-AND VIGILANTE?????

-THEY HAD A THREESOME???

-adrian doesn’t like weed whatever

-sorry adrian mmmgmmgmgmdnsd

-that’s a cool thing

-hehe his dads in prison <3 i hope he dies and then also christopher doesn’t visit him

-his racist piece of shit dad DIE DIE DIE

-racist fucks

-they have him at a place where he’s a liter nazi god???????

-WHAT THE FUCK????

-i’m pissed

-anyways

-her asking to keep peacemakers mugshot girl stand up pls 😭😭

OK END OF EPISODE THOUGHTS:

ADRIANNNN!!! i love him <3 i am excited to see how they deal w his superiority stuff + his ‘moral’ compass when it comes to killing all criminals!

i’m expecting the plot of christopher’s dad being the white dragon to matter bc if it’s just thrown in i’ll be ? very weirded out but i’m assuming that a major thing lol

leota <333 everyone needs to be nice to her rn!!!! idc if she’s a mole, she’s my WIFE! i like her and emilia together like bonding and stuff :3 also i rlly love james i think him being called sue beard is funny

excited to see where this goes but i’m going to bed so i shall finish the next 6 episodes tomorrow probably :3 we’ll maybe not tomorrow bc i’m supposed to hang w my friend? so we shall see!!!!

[lacunafiction]

Weekly Update: 2 July 2021

I hope you’re doing well and staying safe.💚  

The following for Fernweh Saga and the blog has increased over the last week, so ‘hello’ to all of you and thanks for your support! 😊

The masterpost with the demo link is: HERE. Reblogs are always appreciated to get the word out.

> Here is a more specific update regarding what I have been doing:

- I’ve been answering/queuing asks. I appreciate your patience and interest. I am trying to free up space in my inbox before Chapter 4 drops. :D

- I am starting final edits and play testing on Chapter 4 to ensure it is all ready to be uploaded.

- I am going to have J’s playlist out by tonight. I have the songs and need to finish the graphic once I finalize the color scheme...Green/gray/blue???

-The word count for the new demo after the update will be: 119k words [Intro to Chap 4] and the total so far is: 189k words [Intro to Chap 5] (though Chapter 5 isn’t edited and I need to get to work on 6 after this update, lol.)

- I’ll be releasing teasers, code snippets, and maybe an aesthetic closer  to the update release, which is set for 8 July 2021. I’m tentatively thinking:

> Monday (July 5th): A chapter 4 quote from B and one from S.

> Tuesday (July 6th): A chapter 4 quote from R and one from J.

> Wednesday (July 7th): The Midnight (my cat) extended code teaser picture that may give some hints, if you can see around his fur.

> ✨Thursday (July 8th)✨: Possibly an aesthetic of the vibes of Chapter 4 without much context before the Chapter is uploaded on that day.

I may include Saturday and Sunday too. I’ll be using the tag: ‘chapter 4 teasers’, so you all can be aware and check it, if you like. 😁

An emphatic thank you for all your support and kindness. 💚 Best wishes!

[unbridgeabledistances]

joy list!💞

hiiii i haven’t been on in a few days but i was tagged in a joy list by my absolute beloveds @catgrassplantdad and @whatwouldmickeydo last week, and now that it’s the weekend and i am a little less scattered i want to add my quick lil word vomit of things that r bringing me joy!!✨🌿

the #1 thing on this list, bc they are always being endlessly sappy & sweet & wonderful on here when i barely have the energy to, is @southside-forever. bc guys. guys. we all know that rhys is the greatest. but holy fuck are they the kindest and most radiant person that i know- the parameters of my life have shattered so much since we started sending silly little dms to each other 9 months ago, and i feel so lucky that i get to know them & witness their amazingness every day & smooch their cute face🤠🥺💜

oat milk chai lattes!!!

fancy coffee in general :’)

feminist bookstores

gay photobooth pics😌

chaotic selfies

the veganized version of my great-grandmother’s stuffing recipe

making homemade christmas gifts

decorating my tiny dumb christmas tree from target with my roommates with ornaments i got for $2.99 from goodwill that were in a ziploc bag & DEFINITELY collected/made by some random old lady

horrible dating shows (i am currently obsessed w “12 dates of christmas” bc i am garbage)

mulled wine!!

souvenir mugs🙄

snapchat filters: the worse quality, the better

GIANT SQUISHMALLOWS

cg updates!!! & the joy of being in community over each other’s creativity 

long car rides listening to broadway soundtracks

dreaming & scheming lil trip plans🥺

glamping

delicata squash😍

the CLAYMATION CHRISTMAS MOVIES from the 70s (esp the heat miser/snow miser BOPS)

my local radio station

dumb group chat names

tom kha soup🤤

all of u! i’ve been gone for a while bc finding balance / the time to do things that i enjoy has just been ridiculously hard this semester and i am straight up not having a good time, BUT i am officially not teaching in the spring & have big big plans😌 (including finally posting much of the p&p fic???! soon hopefully!!?)

blowing a kiss to/tagging @billowyy @mickpause @grabmyboner if u want to share some joys!!!! but no pressure💖

[lailyn]

Stephen stepped out of the portal, expecting to be assaulted by a flurry of arms anytime now, but they never came. He looked around. The living room was empty.

Their house was never silent. Between Tony's music and the noises of his trade, the clangs and bangs were a normal part of Stephen's life now, one he took comfort in every day. 

And more recently, ever since a bundle of heavenly mischief by the name of Loki joined in the cacophony, it made rolling out of bed in the morning that bit harder, and coming home every evening easier.

He had been blessed, not once, but twice in the search for true love.

Stephen walked down the stairs toward the basement and true enough, he found one of them hunched over a table, hard at work. 

He watched Tony for a while before patting the Cloak of Levitation a few times; he could almost sense its disappointment as the sentient relic flew to give them a moment to themselves.

"How was work today, hun?"

Engrossed in his latest project, Stephen could barely hear Tony's mumbling through his welding helmet. Which was a shame because Stephen could have used a welcome home kiss or two, on the account of his very -

"Shitty day," he sighed. "It's that time of the year again. Wannabe witches and wizards dabbling in things they can't understand. I have to sweep in and clean up all the mess."

"You do it very dramatically though."

Stephen could just see the outline of Tony's suggestive grin through the visor. "The sweeping in."

Stephen only snorted. "You're one to talk. You spent hours talking over the latest colour scheme for Mark XXVII in bed with Loki yesterday when you two were supposed to be sleeping. Green and red? You'll look like a flying Christmas Tree."

"Hey, that was private pillow talk!" Tony protested with an embarrassed chuckle. "It's all about aesthetics, darling. That's why I insist I walk in the middle when we're on the streets."

Tony had a habit of not looking where he was going most of the time, so it was only natural Loki and Stephen be his eyes on the road. Stephen had never really wondered about it, and Loki never really minded getting hit by a car or two in Tony's stead, but now that Tony had brought it up...

"Yeah, what's the deal with that?"

"Ever watched Mean Girls?" At the blank look on Stephen's face, Tony tried again. "Charmed? The one from the 90s, not the reboot?"

"I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about and I know everything."

"Pretty things always walk in threes, Stephen. And the prettiest one always walks in the middle." 

With a smirk, Tony slid his visor down; he turned the music up and purposely turned his back in the hope that Stephen would miscontrue it as a 'Do Not Disturb' sign. 

"Where's Loki?"

"He's around somewhere," Tony mumbled. "Go look for him, would you? He's going to think we don't care."

Stephen only chuckled and gave Tony one last peck on the top of his head. "Come find us when you're done."

"Will do."

Tony waited until Stephen's form disappeared up the stairs before picking up his soldering iron once more.   

In truth, Tony simply did not want Stephen to see what he was working on.

He may be a little late to the bandwagon but wearing one's lover's colours? Into battle? Tony was sold. Besides, he was only taking a page out of Renly Baratheon's book. 

(Who, according to Loki, had taken to wearing the stag of Baratheon in the fight against his brother Stannis, but in the colours of House Tyrell, obviously an homage to his lover Ser Loras.)

In Lokispeak, that meant Tony'd better be wearing Loki's colours the next time they went into battle together. And Tony Stark was not going to be outshined by a fictional character.

Mark XXVII was going to have the most gorgeous chest plate in metallic navy blue. 

(Because hello, two lovers! Beat that, Renly!)

It matched Stephen's Sorcerer Supreme costume perfectly, and Tony could not wait for the next villain to show up so he could show it off. 

---------------------

The energy signature powering up the wards around the house was strong, indicating that Loki had not left the house, but for some reason, Stephen could not find him anywhere.

He searched high and low, up and down all three storeys of the mansion, but there was neither hide nor tail of his mercurial lover. 

When the search had gone on long enough that pangs of worry were beginning to collect in the pit of his stomach, Stephen knew he had no choice but to resort to magic. 

He began to panic when reading a strand of Loki's hair (he always kept a few on him for moments like this) brought him right where he started, in the middle of an empty living room that felt bigger than ever now that he was utterly alone. 

Okay. Loki was officially missing. 

He was about to raise all hell when he remembered that there was another locating spell he had not tried.

It worked!

Stephen followed the mage light as it led him somewhere into the bowel of the house. He grew more and more curious as the mage light took him down a long hallway, the end of which only had a utility room where they would do the occasional laundry.

Then he saw it, the outline of a sleek Bombay cat inside the washing machine. 

"Oh, Loki…"

It seemed to be sleeping, comfortably ensconced on a small mountain of towels. 

Stephen opened the front load washer and carefully extracted it from its fluffy throne. 

The cat blinked blearily, its eyes a familiar, brilliant green. It meowed in hissy annoyance but settled almost immediately when Stephen held it to his chest. 

"What's the matter? This isn't the place to sleep," he admonished gently, scratching the cat's chin. "It's very dangerous, you know. One of us could have turned it on by mistake."

The cat pawed its way up Stephen's chest until they were eye to eye.

The hovering mage light illuminated the intelligence behind the cat's eyes, as did the Inuit kiss Loki gave Stephen's nose. 

Stephen chanted a word to close the loop on the spell, and the mage light turned into a wisp of golden smoke that disappeared into the bell dangling from Loki's neck.

Stephen fussed with the slightly askew collar to fix it when the pads of his fingers brushed against something; he turned the fine leather outward, revealing the silken lining inside. 

If found, please return to S&S, it read in gold stencil letters. 

He chuckled, remembering the first time Loki shifted and the argument that had ensured between him and their worrywart of a boyfriend.

"What does S&S stand for?"

"Why, Stark and Strange, of course."

"Why can't it be Strange and Stark?"

"Don't you know your alphabets, Doctor? A comes before R."

"Loki thinks it stands for Stephen and Stark," Stephen said triumphantly.

Tony wished he could look into Lokitty's eyes but he had to fasten the collar and check the fit before he could get it engraved, diamond-encrusted, and of course, magically and electronically tagged. "No, he doesn't. And why do you get to be Stephen, and I'm Stark?"

"It was your idea. I'm perfectly happy with S&T." 

Stephen had never been a cat lover, but for Loki he could make an exception. Loki made such a fine, handsome feline. 

"Alphabetically and perfectly happy. Yes, yes, I am." 

"What's all this?" A pair of arms snaked around Stephen's neck from behind. "A party in the laundry room and I wasn't invited?"

Tony then noticed the bundle of fur in Stephen's lap. "Is Loki alright?"

"Yeah. He's just bored."

"And hungry." Loki rematerialised, and now instead of a furball, he was a tangle of arms and legs that quickly held Stephen down in place, but Tony felt equally grounded, such was the intensity of his glare. "You promised we would go fonduing."

Stephen burst out laughing. "Loki, I don't think that word means what you think it means."

"What are you talking about? Of course it does!" Tony leaned forward over Stephen's shoulder to give Loki an apologetic kiss on the lips. "Cheese or chocolate?"

Loki's eyes lit up like gems. "Oh goodness, is it my turn to choose?"

"Of course it is, Princess."

Loki nuzzled his forehead against the underside of Stephen's jaw like he had spent too long in cat form and forgotten to hard-reset to factory settings. "Hmm. I feel very spoiled now. I can't decide."

Like Tony, Stephen too was getting better at deciphering Lokispeak. "We'll do both. Cheese for dinner, chocolate for dessert."

Tony raised an eyebrow. "That's very decadent of you, Doctor. I'm impressed."

"Wouldn't hurt to indulge once in a while."

Stephen stared at Loki's lips and imagined them dripping with cheese, and surely chocolate, later. "It's a convivial affair, fonduing."

"It warms my cockles when you talk dirty," Tony sighed happily.

"Cockles?" Loki's face fell. 

"Just a saying, darling." Tony held out a hand for Loki to take, and hoisted him out of Stephen's lap and off the floor. 

He addressed his next question to his partner who was taking his time picking cat fur off his clothes one by one, no doubt to store away for safekeeping. Every bit of Loki was magic after all.

"Shall we? I forgot to feed the cat today," he said sheepishly.

"That's why it's 'Stephen and Tony', Stark," the Sorcerer Supreme said proudly, and wasted no time demonstrating why. His portal opened up onto a nondescript sidewalk, and across the street was one of Greenwich Village's well-kept secrets, a hidden treasure trove of restaurants and cafes. 

"There!" Tony pointed at a sign that said 'The Melting Pot' in big, flashing letters. 

"Watch out for traffic, Tony," came Stephen's customary warning, but Tony was way ahead of him.

With one hand, Tony grabbed Stephen's hand, "Mine." Then he grabbed Loki's with the other. "Mine."

"All mine," Tony said possessively and pulled them both in.

Together as one, they crossed the street, with the prettiest (arguably) one in the middle, as always.

"Wanna get matching tattooes later?"

"Tony!" "Stark!"

[bangtanger]

CONTENT CREATOR YEAR IN REVIEW

was thinking for 84 hours where should i post it but as its my creator blog i m doing it here <3 i was tagged by @taemaknae @suhdays @ynki @honsool @jjeongukie @taeyungie @dearbangtansonyeondan @lifegoesmon @everythingoes @flipthatjacketjiminie @yoongi-bts @jiminslight @hopekidoki @cowboyjinbop @yoonqiful @jcngkooks @pjmsdior @hobeah @balenciaguks​ @jinvant @hobibestboy @vjimin @yoongikook AND THANK U SO MUCH FOR INCLUDING ME T_T ik maybe its not a big deal but its a big deal to me and im touched :(((((((((((( also gimme some time to check all ur posts 👉👈 also im in a mood to say that ive collected many pokemons here djfksfhsakjddld ok nvm 

also sorry for a long post ik tmblr fvcks things up sometimes when there is keep reading so dont fight me plz <3

❀ first creation and most recent creation of 2020 

ok this is the fist one (still very pleased with colouring here T_T the stage lighting was,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, well yeah as always lmao) and this is the most recent (TBH DKJSKDSDK I WISH MY MOST RECENT POST COULD BE A DIFFERENT ONE THE ONE I WANNA MAKE FOR A MONTH NOW THE ONE ID PUT A LOT MORE EFFORTS IN SO IM A LIL FRUSTRATED i literally just missed giffing but couldnt watch anything new so took an old vid i wanted to gif once I DIDNT EVEN USE MYCOLOURING PSD IT LITERALLY HAS ONLY COUPLE OF LAYERS uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :( but whatever,,, it just kinda doesnt show the difference -_-)

❀ a creation u r really proud of 

well 👁👄👁 there r quite few,,, and the main reason is colouring most of these r comps and i a b s o l u t e l y sucked at comps and esp at making the colouring consistent there lol so lets begin lol  1 (u have no idea how muchi love this set) 2 (i fucking mastered it i wanted to remake it for two years and i finally did!! 60 fps smooth good moments iconic performance iconic hair colour his attitude bruh and ofc the fact that i could do sth with colouring,,,,,, and chose such an unusual colour scheme that i doubted jckdckfdk and it still worked out 🥺) 3 (lol i had this idea written down since 2018 as well and this year i could finally collect all moments i needed and oh boi yeah,,, AND COLOURING I COULD ALMOST yeah almost do sth decent with it there r still couple moments id changed but im pleased) 4 (im so happy whenevr i see this CUZ IT ALL WORKED OUT it was such an impulsive comp i literally only saw couple moments for past few years as well where i could see three of them in one frame and suddenly I WAS LIKE I FUCKING MUST POST THOSE MOMENTS SOMEHOW and im so proud of colouring it looks so well T_T) 5 (the colouring ofc im still :o that i could get rid of that shitty shit dkksjkj AND THE MOMENTS ITSELF?????? AND BLACK SWAN???????? EVERY PERFORMANCE???? HAIR?????? OUTFIT???????? EVRERYHTIGNM???????? HIS FUCKING STARE? FACE??? DONT MAKE ME CONTINUE AAAAAAAAAAA also if im not wrong this set in particular made me start my before/after posts 🥺) 6 (i jujst love everything about it e v e r yt h i n g also i could made ppl believe that jin fr has purple hair here when in reality its brown djhfdhskdf one of blending modes or adjustment layers worked this way lol) 7 (i wont even comment this tried a great tutorial with great beautiful resuls for the first time ever and it worked out so well and i like it so much and the whole yoongi here,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, also love me some borders that add cinematic feels to some gifs or just make them pretty in a dif way just like i did with prev post i mentioned imo lol) OK LAST ONE 8 (I USED A VIDEO OF STARS AND ADDED IT TO THE GIF FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER I FUCKED WITHMASKING FOR 3 HOURS GRRRRRRRR THIS IS SO HUGE FOR ME!!!!! i cant even explain whew IVE NEVER DID ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE SO I WAS REALLY PROUD TOO even tho i fucked masking up on some layers lmao but lets not pay too much attention to it 👀)

❀ a creation that took u forever

ohhhhhhhh i think this one cuz the moments were long i couldnt decide what do i want to include + it ts file so u kno,,, the speed,,, of processing,, + somehow decided to put them all together + fucked with colouring + had to get rid of the logo and as we know japan likes a lot of big braight text around haha and draw hair in moments where logo made it look blurry + had to adjust the order and all that stuff but getting rid of logo was the longest part 

❀ a creation from 2020 that received the most notes

whew this iconic one im still amazed tbh they looked soso incredible and im glad how everything turned out here <3 (could change some colouring on bg tho so it could look better and more hq :c)

❀ a creation u think deserved more notes 

lol this one cuz i was so hyped to make it cuz their concert in saudi arabia is one of my fav things in the world and i waited for so long to have mood and energy to go throught it to find jk moments and i couldnt choose some for this comp for so long and just,,,,,, overall,,,, the way he looks here............................................................... its a special comp to me haha ill def gif more of it i have shit ton of clips left and also there r other members and i just want to sit and enjoy yhe whole thing to so may find more stuff to gif here lol

❀  a new fandom u joined an a creation u made for it 

i didnt join anything heurheru

❀ a creation u made that breaks ur heart

OKAY LISTEN DSJAKDJHFDKJ THIS ONE IF U KNOW U KNOW AND IM SURE IT BREAKS ALMOST EVERY HEART tbh whenever i see soft smiles or soft interactions or anything like this im just :’( <3 even my serotonin boost tag does it to me cuz its too precious T_T

❀  a ‘simple’ creation that u really love

this one cuz everything about it ah and this one 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

❀ a creation that was inspired by someone else

ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm idk maybe this one ? cuz i never did anything like this before and maybe i saw someones beautiful headers and decided to try one too ? i could do a lot better there is not enough depth but oh well,,, lol

❀  a favourite creatin created by someone else

oh its gonna be hard :) dear every conten creator i hope u dont mind if i wont go though the whole 2020 gif tag but choose form the most recent ones i loved? u know how much i appreciate ur content cuz i never stop screaming about it in tags but truly there r more content makers and i want u to know that i really love ur content :(

@syubb welllllllllllll i wont even comment this is iconique.....

@jinv T_T val i miss u but there should be bday comps with that BIG ASS IMAGE THAT HAS ITS PARTS ON EVERY SINGLE GIF I CANT EVEN EXPLAIN that icant even find dfjksfskj

@jung-koook i literally couldnt choose ehdskjdjksd but i decided this one cuz its sososososososososososososososososososososo well made every single detail here is chefs kiss

@kkulmoon i truly really cant get enough of ur colouring lately T_T

@minhope !!!!!!LITERALLY EVERY PANTONE COMP OR ESPECIALLY 7 YEARS WITH BTS PANTONE ONE IM AAAAAAAAAAAAA and lmao i think this is one of the most reposted things ive ever seen on internet T_T

@jjoon hng amy u know how i feel about ur content T_T decided this one cuz f l a w l e s s 

@hopekidoki stuff like this makes my jaw lie in the floor dsjkdj

@flipthatjacketjiminie idk whats up but it makes me scream like a madman every time i see it.........

@lifegoesmon i cant even explain why i chose this one but everything here is so incredible !!!!!!!!1

@hobeah one of those good fucking bye ones.....

@taeyungie this made me feel so many things and a whole ass a w e so cool T_T

@jiminfilter i will never shut up about bts core jungkook one should also be here

@seoksjin THE COLOURS I SCREAM OH MY GOD O HMY OGD I JUST WENT TO CHECK OUT AND SAW THIS AND IMMEDIATELY DJKSJD DECIDED THIS IS CRAZY THE PASTELS THE PINNKS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA EVERYHTGIN but also those birthday posts ahhh T_T

@jinvant i wanna YELL but also u know how much i love ur quality and blacks  T_T and gfxs too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@yoongi-bts i love everything here with my whole heart!!!

@everythingoes SHOUWLD I EVEN EXPLAIN WHY

@hobibestboy THIS IS SO COOL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THE COLOUR SCHEME

@joenns  I WONT EVEN EXPLAIN IM SO HURT HES SO THIS IS SO T____________________T 

@jjeongukie idk i cant get enough of skin tone!!!!!!!!!!!!

@chaylani i really love the colouring and love these posts with highlights T_T

@eklipxe COLOURING AND EVERYTHIGN

@oncupid cant get enough of every colouring ive seen <3

@jiminslight THIS WHOLE GIF RIGHT HERE

@6dis-ease COZY AND PRECIOUS T_T

@ofkimtaehyung I LITERALLY HAVE NO WORDS ITS SO PRETTY

@taee it was really hard to choose too T_T decided to go with this cuz,, u kno

@yoonqiful CUZ THESE COLOURS DRIVE ME INSANE

OK THIS IS GETTING TOO LONG KDSFJSAKDL I WOULD ADD A LOT MORE CUZ THERE IS A LOT MORE TO ADD BUT IVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR THREE HOURS I BETTER CHILL 

❀  some of your favourite content creators from this year

ok i may forgot someone + in no order in particular + literally every creator that i follow/whose content i reblog @taeguks @tearuntold @cyphertaehyungie @love4hobi @kimnamtaejin @taejoon @jimiyoong @namkook @taeyungie @jinvant @jinv @6dis-ease @jiminrolls @daechwitas @syubb @syuga @jjeongukie @cowboyjinbop @hope-film @minhope @hopekidoki @joonie @namgination @jung-koook @faerieth @kooksv @lifegoesyoon @yoonqiful @j-sope @chaylani @jiminfilter @jjoon @everythingoes @varietae @seoksjin @dearbangtansonyeondan @ofkimtaehyung @yoongi-bts @gaypeople @seokjinyoongis @agustdfeatrm @joenns @houseofarmanto @namjoon (will miss forever) @thebtsgenre @honsool @vjimin @seokjinite @jiminswn @taee @hobeah @lifegoesmon @taemaknae @gukgi @kkulmoon @flipthatjacketjiminie @jintae @jcngkooks @ynki @yoongikook @yoongiandthebiaswreckers @jiminslight @gwkie @oncupid @eternalbulletproof and many more <3

OK SO i wanna say a special thanks to every content creator ever and also i wanna say that im really glad to be a part of this community all of u r so cool and creative and make such beautiful things and many of u made me feel EMOTIONS with ur sets or not only sets ill be forever grateful that i discovered bts and for everything they do to me without even knowing ALSO THANK U FOR STILL BEING HERE ON TUMBRLDSDFKJ yeah this year was less active there were few issues many ppl went on twt but thank u for still being here also happy new year <3333333 i think i sounded deeper and more emotional when i was commenting ppls gifs :| but its almost 2 am so i hope u will understand dkfjkfsjk im happy there is this corner on the internet that feels cozy and so welcoming <3 i love u i wish u a better year ahead <3 ok for checking notifications purpose ill tag my blog lol @eternal-bangtan