#my yappertron 3000......

[weekdaysend]

I MEAN. I KNEW IT WAS GONNA HAPPEN. I ALWAYS KNEW WHERE IT WAS GOING.

I DIDN'T THINK IT BE THAT HORRIFIC THOUGH.

[stargirlygirl]

imagine long-term bf katsuki being hung up on what engagement ring to buy you. he’s gnawing at his cheeks, constantly sighing and running his fingers through his hair for a couple of months, trying to find a ring that’s good enough for you.

after patrol, he browses every reputable jewellery store in tokyo, searching for your engagement ring. he takes pictures of every one he thinks might suit you and sends them to eijiro.

shitty hair: idk about this one man. diamonds are nice but y/n gives more garnet or ruby vibes

explosive: the fuck you mean? i have to get her diamonds

shitty hair: nah bro, you should get something that suits her. not every girl wants diamonds.

explosive: stfu i know what she wants better than you do

shitty hair: 🤷‍♂️ just my opinion man

you noticed immediately that katsuki was coming home later than he usually does. you didn’t say anything at first because maybe something came up, and he did seem really exhausted.

but as weeks turn into months, you become suspicious. what is it that your boyfriend's doing after work that you can’t know about. he hasn’t changed how he treats you. if anything, he’s been even softer and sweeter with you lately.

you decide to confront him about it.

you sit at the kitchen table, waiting for him to come home. as 8pm fades into 10pm and drips into 12am, your anxiety ramps up. your palms are all sweaty and your heart beats erratically in your chest.

you’re on your feet as soon as the lock eventually clicks and the front door is forced open. you stalk up to a sleepy katsuki, who flings his duffel bag on the floor with a sigh.

when he turns around, you’re looking at him angrier than ever. there’s fire in your eyes as you stare up at him, your brows knitted together and jaw tight.

you spit out, “where have you been?” katsuki blinks slowly, too tired to register your words and respond. he moves to throw his arms around you, but you step back, dodging his embrace.

this time, you repeat yourself with more venom, “where have you been?” you sigh, “i’ve been waiting for you since eight.”

he grunts thickly, “why’d you stay up, babe?” you roll your eyes and slightly suck in your cheeks.

you say exasperatedly, “because i was worried about you. you’ve been coming home late from work for the last two months now.” you fold your arms beneath your chest as you scold him, “so where have you been?! seriously, like, where the fuck have you been wandering off to while i make you dinner and do your laundry?”

katsuki shakes his head, whispering, “baby, s’not like that.”

you catch his words and scoff, “so then, what is it like? i clearly don’t know so why don’t you tell me?”

his full lips draw into a hard line as he huffs, contemplating whether to tell you he’s been hunting for the perfect engagement ring for his perfect girl… and that he’s finally found one. it wasn’t easy, especially since he has just put up with yappertron 3000 chargebolt, skateboard freak elbows, and shitty hair for the past three hours while acquiring this ring.

he bites his tongue, mumbling, “look, i’ve just been busy, yea?”

you chuckle derisively, “you’ve been busy? right, okay.” you turn around and begin walking away from him when he catches your elbow. his grip is firm but considerate.

he tugs you back, making you stumble into his chest. you try to shove him away, but he doesn’t even budge as he draws you into his arms, wrapping you up tightly.

you shout, “just fuck off, katsuki!”

wincing, he rests his chin on the top of your head and murmurs, “no more late nights, baby, i promise. at least not for a while.” his body is so warm against yours, and his musk is so strong. you give up your assault on his concealed but delicious muscles and still in his grasp.

you grumble, “it’s not about the late nights, katsuki. it’s about you keeping things from me.” he kisses the top of your head and rubs circles on your back with his calloused palms.

he mutters into your hair, “i’ll tell you soon, okay?” you shake your head before tilting it back, returning his soft gaze with your harsher one.

you murmur, “so you’re not cheating on me? or are you cheating on me but intend to come clean?” your boyfriend’s mouth falls open as he stares at you, his blond brows raised slightly. regaining his composure, his usual scowl is back on his face.

he grumbles, “cheating? why the fuck would i be cheating on you?!” he licks his lips and gazes past you for a moment, sighing, “for fuck’s sake, babe. god, why the fuck would i be cheating on you? d’you really think i’m a cheater?!” you shake your head, taken aback by his sudden frustration.

he shouts, “I’VE NEVER CHEATED! NEVER! NOT LIKE FUCK-ASS DEKU WHO DIDN’T EVEN HAVE A QUIRK AND THEN—”

you gently pat his chest as you try to soothe him, “okay, okay, honey, it’s okay. i know you’re not a cheater.” after a few minutes, he calms down (for the most part).

he grunts, “d’you really think i’d do that?” a droplet of his spit hits your eyebrow. you go to wipe it away but he beats you to it, apologising all the while. you reassure him it's okay as you stroke his well-defined back up and down.

you say softly, “of course not. but if you’re not cheating on me, then what else are you doing? i just don’t understand, suki.” he shakes his head before settling back into the crook of your neck; his resting place.

he murmurs into your hot flesh, “just give me a few days n’ i’ll tell you, alright?” you pull back, cupping his cheeks with your hands while his fingers clench the back of your shirt.

you shake your head, saying, “you can tell me now.”

he huffs, “babe—”

“no,” you cut him off. “tell me now. i deserve to know why you’ve been coming home so late.” he gazes down momentarily as his fingers curl into your shirt even more, close to tearing the fabric with how tight his grip is.

he mumbles, “stubborn brat.”

it’s like something snaps. he releases your shirt from his killer grasp and smirks. he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a velvety red, ring box.

he grabs your wrist and places it in your palm, saying, “that’s the reason.” he gazes at you expectantly, waiting for you to open the box. but you’re in shock.

your wide eyes bore into his narrow ones as you blink dumbly. your lips are slightly parted, open enough for the flies to make a home in your mouth. and they could with how little you’re registering right now. you can’t think or speak or move. all you know is that your long-term partner just placed a ring box in your hand.

katsuki rolls his eyes, attempting to hide the pain in his expression as you continue staring at him. he huffs, “well, are you gonna open it or not?”

you nod, your mouth awfully dry. you seal your lips as you shakily open the box. inside is the most beautiful ring you’ve ever seen. leaves protrude from the band and petals encircle a bright ruby glistening in the golden living room light; a rose. your gaze flickers up to him before switching back to the ring, and then back up to him.

you stutter, “a-are y-you, u-um, a-ask-asking m-me t-too—”

“yes,” he says solemnly. “you’re everything to me, baby. s-so, yea, will you be my wife?” you nod furiously. smirking, he takes the little box from your hand and slips the ring onto your finger. all the tension pent up in his body dissipates as he embraces you once more.

you squeeze his slutty waist tight as you begin tearing up, trying to process that your boyfriend just became your fiancé. katsuki sweetly kisses your forehead before resting his against yours.

he mutters, “i don’t tell you how much i love you enough. clearly like fuck. i fuckin’ love you, baby girl. more than you’ll ever know.”

a/n: link to the engagement ring design here (please lmk if it doesn't work); just imagine that it's a ruby and not a diamond.

[l0vagrend]

Unfortunately this is the first thing that popped into my head about Holló and Max bc of that other post with tiny ahh Holló

We love a short king tho 🫶

ITS LITERALLY THEM !! lmaoo thank you for this ! <3

they got those og yaoi proportions gawd

also yappertron 3000 Max praising the shit out of Holló for p11,, we love to see it. he wants to gen hype him up (they also need more points ASAP)

[purgatory-hotel]

Whenever I post about characters' mental health I delete it pretty quickly after because I get worried for no logical reason and I really need to get out of that habit. So if you have any questions about any character's mental health/health in general pls send me an ask 🙏 I'm not actually a person I am a robot called the yappertron 3000 and you need to enable my yapping. bleep bloop

[zombieslab]

okay so the short version is it was 2021 and we were dream smp fans. which isnt Actually why it fell apart but it should give you a pretty good idea of the kind of people we were. the long (and i mean LONG im the yappertron 3000) version is under the cut. brace yourselves

disclaimer 1: while its pretty much impossible for any of the people im talking about to find this and if they somehow do they will immediately recognise im talking about them i still dont feel comfortable calling them by their actual names so initials it is

disclaimer 2: almost everyone involved in this was a kid at the time and i dont actually hate any of them. we were all being dumb on the internet and i hope theyre all doing great right now. the youngest people on the server were me and another 13 year old and the oldest person was 17. there was only one adult involved which. trust me we will get to. but most people were like 14-15 we were just stupid kids and it was all very unserious

disclaimer 3: this isnt really a disclaimer but i do need to mention that almost all of this was happening on a social media that you probably have never heard of because no one really uses it outside of the country im from. i think its kind of similar to facebook but ive never used facebook so idk

ANYWAY let me set the scene. its june 2021. im 13 about to turn 14 later that summer. about 4 months ago i started watching the dream smp and i am still completely obsessed with it. i also just finished my first year being homeschooled (i was homeschooled for two years in total and it sucked) which caused me to drift apart from what little friends i had. i have basically zero social skills and an incredibly bad anxiety disorder like to the point where even the idea of talking to someone who isnt my mom or sister sent me into a panic attack. i was Struggling and talking to people online wasnt any easier

with that in mind i opened the unnamed social media platform i mentioned earlier and decided to risk it and joined a public group chat for dream smp fans. i had done it a few times before with different fandoms but never really talked in any of them because as i said i was really struggling with my anxiety at the time and i had no reason to think it would be any different this time. but it was! im still not sure why but i actually had a really good time chatting with the people in that gc

at some point in the conversation someone jokingly suggested we should make our own server with lore like the dsmp. we all laughed but then one guy which we'll call s said Hey! thats a good idea! lets do that! fun fact im the one who suggested the name gay gay homosexual gay smp. i dont remember what compelled me to do that but everyone thought it was really funny

the next morning i woke up to find i had been added to another group chat. since it all started in a random gc for dsmp fans we figured we should make a separate one for the server so as to not annoy everyone else. the server was launched and we were having fun! notable people on the server at that point were s (he/they), t (she/her), j (he/they), g (he/him), l (she/her), p (he/him), and r (she/they). and me ❤️

for a while we were just kind of having fun playing on the server. s and j adopted me as their kid because i was the youngest person on the server (they were both like a few months older than me). lore was also slowly being written. out plan wasnt to roleplay and improvise as you would probably expect on a minecradt server instead we wanted to first write down the lore and then act it out because. reasons? im still not sure why we did that i wasnt really involved in the lore aside from being vaguely allied with the unit. the unit was a team consisting of s, t, k (another member who was invited to the server about a week after the start) & j. This Will Be Important Later

okay so remember how i said there was only one adult ever involved in this.. so that was. the weirdest part of all of this. i still have no fucking clue what any of that was but its one of my favourite stories to tell because its really funny in hindsight

so about two or three weeks into the server r sends us a screenshot of some random guy named n asking her if he can join our server. r asks us if any of us has said anything about the server publicly because we had all agreed prior that we wouldnt do that since we didnt want to add any new members that none of us knew personally. n wasnt in the original gc that the server spawned from. no one on the server has any idea who the fuck this guy is but everyone is really curious what his deal is so we decide to add him to talk

important note: we add him to the server gc but not to the original dsmp fan gc which we use to talk about him behind his back. cant imagine how confusing it must have been for the normal people there who knew nothing about our server and just wanted to talk about the dsmp

anyway we're talking to n and he is giving everyone really bad vibes. nothing specific just Vibes. he logs onto the server because at that point we didnt have a whitelist and the ip was just in the pinned message. everyone gets scared shitless because of n's Bad Vibes. a lot of people say they cant log on right now so i. the worst pvper of all time. who cannot hold a conversation to save their life. heroically log on to the server where n and s are arguing in the chat about nothing in particular. r messages me asking me to hide her chickens so i do that even though i dont think n was going to do anything to them. instead he continues being vaguely unpleasant in the chat for which s (who is the server admin) bans him

but n is still in the gc! so he gets really nad at us there but quickly gets banned from there too. g is kind of upset because hes the only one who liked n for some reason and l is upset because shes a very nice person and feels it was unfair to kick him out like that but otherwise we decide to move on. until later that evening when g announces he has been dming with n and now officially hates him

we ask g to elaborate to which he just shows us their dms which are. fucking weird. not the kind of weird that you might imagine but just like. very strange? the main thing i remember is that n sent g a lot of voice messages where he whispers a bunch of incoherent bullshit about fucking. quantum immortality and being a trojan horse and how he will come back and we'll regret banning him??? we all say wow what a fucking weirdo and move on with our lives

the next day n logs onto the server from a different account because he still knows the ip. s quickly bans him and changes the ip. a few hours later everyone loses their shit because when we try to log on it shows an error message and we start getting paranoid that n might have done something. s isnt responding to dms. jesus christ

a few hours of panic later s finally goes online and says he turn on the whitelist and forgot to actually put us in it 👍 but its all good now and n will never ever bother us ever again! yay!

another important note: most of us were broke and didnt actually have licensed minecraft so we were all pirating it. minecraft is one of the basolute easiest games to pirate and the only real downsides are that 1. you cant log onto servers that dont specifically allow pirated accounts (which is most servers) and 2. anyone could theoretically log onto any server on your account if they know your username. im sure you can see where this is going

l logs onto the server and starts acting very weirdly and then dies. yea it was n using her account. then he uses a few more people's accounts. everyone starts panicking and everyone who can log on immediately does so n cant use their account. he keeps saying vert cringey movie villain type shit in the chat. what the fuck is going on. g dms him and somehow convinces him to calm down? he didnt show us their dms this time so idk. point is n finally fucks off. For The Time Being

somewhere around this point the one singular stream happened and it wasnt actually that special s just kinda ran around the server and we were all goofing around in the chat it was fun all of the future drama happened off-stream

act 2. j goes insane

ok this part will be short because not much actually happened but basically every time we would try to add a new member j would have a meltdown and leave the gc and we would all have to beg him to return and they wouldnt return until we removed the new member. idk what that was about but its important for future stuff mostly because it created a lot and i mean A Lot of tension. especially between j and the rest of the unit who all really wanted the server to grow. the only new member we managed to add was z (they/them. they were constantly getting misgendered i think there were like 2 or 3 people including me on the entire server who consistently gendered them correctly and stood up for them when other people misgendered them. it sucked)

anyway that tension combined with the lore writing process led j to leave the unit and divorce s as they were married on the server. even in minecraft i am a child of divorce. we actually had some pretty cool lore by the end of it but thats not the point the point is that j joined a different team with g and p

g was a deeply unpleasant person like i still dont hate him and i know he was like 14 or 15 at the time and god knows i wasnt any less annoying at 15 but still. i really didnt like him. and he really didnt like me and the unit. this guy had a big problem with drawing a line between roleplay and real life friendships all of us did but he was the worst offender

i dont want to get too deep into this part because its just really annoying but basically. we found a pink sheep on the server and were all really happy and brought it to spawn and then someone killed it and we had a whole investigation and no one fessed up. then someone killed g's villagers and things got even more tense and it turned out it was probably s. we never found out for sure but it was probably him. s g and j's team never had a name as far as i know but their rivalry with the unit was getting worse and worse

then was the pickle war which was actually pretty fun. i dont remember the details unfortunately but it was really funny. many memes were made. 90% of all memes on the server were made by me and at some point i was officially declared the minister of memes of the gghgsmp. im telling you this because even though things are about to get ugly i did really have a lot of fun on the server and i still have a lot of fond memories of it and im forever left with the itch to have another smp with my friends though i havent had the chance to do something like that yet

anyway Before we get to how the server imploded and what happened after we need to talk about n again. this will be short because i missed most of what happened but basically as far as i know he messaged s on discord and they had a fucking. debate or something idk it lasted a few hours and was very frustrating to listen to. and im telling you This because n said he was doing this because he wanted to leave a mark in our server's history or something like that which is just really funny to me. this random ass guy that we all hated was obsessed with our smp that had one stream ever and we still dont even know how he found out about us

anyway Act 3. the grand finale. prepare for the stupidest fucking thing that i have ever had to take part in

it all started with gartic phone. me, r, and the unit were in a discord call playing gartic. at some point one of us i dont remember who had to leave and t decided we needed more people so she said so in the group chat. she wrote something along the lines of "play gartic with us or i'll eat you" some like threat that was very obviously a joke. and then ????? something happened and for some reason j and g got really mad at her and then the rest of the server got roped into it and it was. not pretty. it was a huge fight where they brought up shit that happened on the server Even though we had all agreed in like the first day of the server to never bring things that happen in minecraft into personal relationships. it ended with s getting frustrated and leaving the gc and then k and t also leaving in solidarity with him and me crying because everything was falling apart and these people were the only friends i had and if s was leaving then it was really serious because he was the most committed to the server out of anyone. and g and j didnt leave even though they would do that all the time when something didnt go their way and it felt like they had won and i really didnt like them especially after that. it really wasnt that serious but it hit me hard because i was 13 and very lonely and at one of the worst points for my mental health in my entire life

anyway that was on july 31st and that was the day the gghgsmp officially died. but! the next day i once again woke up to find out i had been added to a new group chat. s and t were going to create a new server without g and j with everyone who loved our server and wanted to see it grow instead of having to deal with j's meltdown every time we wanted to add someone new. they called it the new breath smp and i cried a lot. when they created the new server i was the second person to log on right after s himself because of how excited i was

pretty soon we found out g and j also made their own separate server which i dont remember the name of but that whole thing was so fucking funny it sounds like a tumblr fake story where everything goes so comically badly for the person that wronged you but i swear its true. the reason i know about what happened is because r pretended she wanted to join their server but was actually a double agent for the nbsmp. this minecraft smp shit gets serious

g and j pulled everyone from the gghgsmp who supported them which actually wasnt that many people. then they started inviting people from the original dsmp fan gc. and Then they were so desperate for members that they added. can you guess who. can you fucking guess who. n. they added n even though j hated him more than anyone else on the gghgsmp. they added him even though its. its fucking n. its that guy

i think later there was some drama on their server because g and j were abusing their admin privileges and everyone got mad at them and left and then they got into a big fight and cut all contact and last i heard they still hated each other. so thats wonderful

but Before that happened something Even Funnier happened. one evening i suddenly received a notification that i had been added to a group chat. by g. i check who else is in the gc. it j and also everyone from the nbsmp Except for s, t & k. you know. the unit. i wasnt technically a member i was just allied with them so i guess they were fine with adding me

anyway when we asked them what they wanted from us they started telling us how the unit is evil and manipulating us and s and t are abusing admin privileges (oh how the turns have tabled. or will table later i guess) and you know what they gave us as proof? brace yourself

the wither had only been fought once on the gghgsmp. the ones that fought him were s and t and it was known that there were no more wither skulls on the server. g and j claimed that the unit had cheated in more wither skulls Because. and i shit you not. there was more than one wither rose left. they thought the wither drops a wither rose when it DIES

as soon as that conversation ended i sent every single message that was sent in the gc to t and we laughed. a lot. it was the funniest thing ever made even better by the fact that their own server later fell apart because They were abusing admin privileges

anyway the nbsmp was fine. the school year started a month after it was created and i really tried to stay active but a lot of people couldnt really log on anymore and then my computer broke. we stayed in touch for a while but somewhere in early 2022 we gradually drifted apart. the last real interaction i had with them was when we watched claus in a discord call on new year's eve and we were having fun until l invited g and it was very awkward and unpleasant

later that year i deleted my account on that unnamed social media and about a year later my twitter account where i was mutuals with s and r got suspended and i never followed them on my new account. which also got suspended like 4 months later idk what that was about

anyway i had a lot of. well not trauma but very complicated feelings about all of that. mostly i just really missed having friends like that but had a bad aftertaste after the way it ended and it kind of killed my interest in mcyt for about 2 years but now its back and stronger than ever and i still really miss being on a server but im fine now 👍 the only thing i regret is that because of my anxiety and other issues i didnt talk to them as much as i wanted to. oh how much fun i wouldve had playing gartic and other stuff if discord calls didnt give me panic attacks back then. it sucked but it was cool while it lasted and gave me a few funny stories to tell people. shoutout to n my man if youre out there i just want to talk why the fuck are you like this

☝️ sorry for getting sappy there i dont think ive ever actually sat down and explained everything that happened to anyone and it beought back a lot of weird feelings. idk man it took me a few years but i think im fully recovered now. it was very very funny we were all so fucking stupid for all of that. like i dont think i did it justice by explaining it because its genuinely the funniest thing ever you will never understand it just by reading a tumblr post. also if there are typos in this then you'll just have to deal with that i guess because im not rereading this fucking monster of a post im tired

have i ever told you guys about the time i was one of the founding members of a server called the gghgsmp (gay gay homosexual gay smp) on which we had one (1) stream ever and it fell apart horribly not even two months after it was created and everyone who was active on the server still hates each other almost 4 years later and it was the most fun ive ever had in my life