#nate guy buzz cookie and schmitty in that order

[reanimations]

if i had a nickel for every time someone referred to cookie masterson as the “original host” i would be a very frustrated millionaire

[schmitty-schmitstinstein]

I just want to ramble a bit about my YDKJ interps so I figured I’d do a poll for which of the og 5 I should share headcanons about first.

[youdontknowjackaboutus]

@beepsparks @k1stune @mariegolddoesthings @captainnait @aneloquentloser @trans-kevin-juice @the-blathermouth @alanna-artroid @coneysdayattumblinghell

Author's Note: I did some anatomy things for my versions of the YDKJ hosts

Going in order: Nate, Guy, Buzz, Cookie, Schmitty, Bob

And for anyone who wants to do their own versions...

[calypsothedigeridoodle]

Ok remember how in my post about Cookie’s birthday I said I’d be trying to get all my Jackbox designs in order by the 30th anniversary? Well I’ve made a lot of good progress recently in sketching out my designs. The reason I haven’t been posting those sketches, even though I said I’d be trying to post more sketches, is because I’ve adopted a strange style where I draw the head and body separately so I can focus on different parts of the design and also not have to draw the same things over and over again in cases where a host has way too many outfits. (*cough* Cookie and Schmitty *cough*)

Mainly, I just wanted to check in and say that things are getting done! A good chunk of the not on-screen hosts have their designs fully drawn out (not colored), and most of those who don’t still have designs that I either need to finish or rework. I want to get everyone’s sketches done before I go on to make proper references because I don’t want to leave hosts behind and have less motivation to go back for them.

Under the cut, there’s a full overview of where every host stands. (This list doesn’t include on-screen hosts like M.Bubz and Rue Meringue, and any exceptions are given reason)

Hosts whose designs are done and ready for proper references:

Cookie, Nate, Buzz, Guy, Bidiots host, [Redacted], Guesspionage host, Felicia, Dan D. Lion, Old Man (kinda, I need to work on drawing bald people), The Secretary (Civic Doodle Hostess), Lena, Dr. Ro, The Keeper/ Dixie, Talking Points Hostess, Lord Tippet, Narrator, Master Mentalist

Hosts who have a design that is either not finished or needs a rework:

Schmitty, Bob, Dot, M.O.T.H.E.R., The Tournament Master, Todd, Binjpipe, Glargan, Toby, D.O.D.E. (I gave her a Gijinka/humanoid form that I may tweak a bit), the DRS Specialist, Champ’d Up Host, Blather ‘Round Hostess, Laverne Caverne (same as D.O.D.E, but this one is more reasonable)

Hosts who do not have designs or are just vague ideas:

Shadowmaster MC, DJ Raych, Quixort Hostess, The Tournament Mistress, Fixytext Hostess, Dodo Re Mi Host, Conche DuBois (I think? Her host and on-screen status confuses me), Survey Scramble Host

Also, as general thing, any hosts here that don’t have canon or heavily accepted fan names will be given ones when I do the final reference image. Some I’ve already given names that I didn’t give here to avoid confusion or because I’m still testing them out.

[beepsparks]

Okay. Imagine the YDKJ hosts (you can count Bob in, if you want) but their personalities are the complete opposites of what you HC them to be

1:06 am, 4/28/2024

Ooh now this would make for an interesting AU idea…. Might actually doodle this at some point

This is long as hell… wee

Guy would have the most obvious and craziest change, being that he’d be WAY more unfriendly, mean, and possibly angry with just a TOUCH of maybe.. lazy (considering it’s usually hard to get Guy to actually be angry over something and not just his usual reaction to being upset, where in the games which seems to be just CRYING OVER IT), so uh, try to avoid him. You don’t want a man that could snap you in half to be angry at you!!

Now one may assume I’m gonna make Schmitty overly nice, but he IS a nice man given the chance, he’s just grumpy at times and has anger issues, so I’d say if his personality was swapped, he’d probably become hyperactive. Since I normally see him as somewhat calm and a tiny bit laid back (idk sometimes it’s hard to figure out people’s personalities for me diebjebr), if Schmitty’s personality was swapped, he would act like he’s just had 10 cups of coffee and he could fight god, probably pisses off Guy a lot. Also he’d probably talk like that one line in YDKJ TV where Schmitty tries to mimic that really fast commercial voice you hear all the time in TV ads. Also since this is the host of QUIPLASH I guess I should mention his humor, normally Schmitty would laugh at dumb jokes, but if his personality was swapped, you gotta tell him the most clever, well-thought-out joke in all of mankind or else he’ll suddenly stop and stare at you like you did something really weird.

Nate would probably be all “I don’t care anymore”, wouldn’t bother to get himself ready for anything and probably shows disinterest in basically everything (when normally Nate would at least TRY to look energized or something), try to talk to him about ANYTHING and he’d probably be IGNORING whatever you’re saying. Idk tho, again it’s hard for me to EXACTLY catch onto character personalities lol.

Buzz is a difficult one… I know for one thing, he’d probably be way more reserved about his interests and may even attempt to hide them. Maybe he’d be quicker to snap if someone wasn’t treating him right rather than bottle it up and THEN snap? Now this is more based on my experience playing volume 2, but personality-swapped Buzz would probably be a little more mean, too (since he doesn’t even try to insult me in that game tbh). Not sure how his self esteem would be, though… he could either think he’s better than all of the hosts, or he could think he’s the worst host in history. Maybe he swaps between the two constantly, who knows.

Cookie I tend to imagine as a man who’s ego is through the roof, and he’s willing to verbally kick people down in order to keep that confidence. (Idk if that counts as a personality trait tho) So if Cookie’s personality was swapped, this man would be absolutely pathetic and think he’s awful at everything. Also since he hosts Fibbage, I suppose another thing is that he’d be an awful liar. Also he’s probably way less unhinged than normal Cookie is. Despite I’ve seen a lot of Cookie clips, his personality, like the others, can be pretty complex so it’s hard for me to exactly hit the mark lol.

I suppose I’ll throw in Bob bc why not, even if I don’t know much about him or his personality yet… probably doesn’t try too much, either, doesn’t like bright colors, and likely is into REALLY OLD STUFF rather than whatever aesthetic he’s got going on + “whatever the kids seem to like these days so I look more relatable and entertaining”

[magicalincorrectrobodokiquotes]

"Super Duper Mega Murderous Madness" Clip

If you were in an 8 member game of TMP2, you’d at least know some knowledge.

Nate already had years of knowledge to go off on. So he already knew what he was doing.

Guy had tried a theory on Reddit about sleeping with textbooks under his pillow. All he got was a crick in the neck.

Buzz was also a walking dictionary of random facts. This was gonna be easy for him.

Cookie, on the other hand, was gonna just ‘fuck around and find out’. It was his life motto.

Schmitty was just praying that Quiplash wasn’t a minigame. Please, please, please, PLEASE!

And Bob was hyped on cookies, hot cocoa and ice cream. Yeah, no one expected him to go too long without crashing.

Aianna was gonna trust whatever data was in her memory chip. Yes, that was her plan.

Avery was already used to playing the game with friends, so they just had a smug cat look on their face.

“Okay Bob, let’s do this.” Aianna beamed as Nate started the ‘Playing All Trivia Murder Parties Party’ livestream.

The eight all looked at the room code “RWOC” and typed it in as they all entered in the following order:

DOKIDOKI (Aianna)(Believer)

MASTERSONC (Cookie)(Nerd)

BIGGAYDICKS (...take a guess…)(Red Herring)

OTHERCUZZ (Buzz)(Lovers)

ROSEHHUNTER (Avery)(Screamer)

HEADRUSHING (Bob)(Jester)

SCHMITTY (Schmitty, duh)(Alpha)

IMANIDIOT (Guy)(Sheriff)

“And here we go…” Aianna started the game. “We’re starting with Trivia Murder Party 2 because why the hell do we need to do this in order?” she added as the intro played.

“I wonder if Redacted ever returned ‘Devil in the White City’ to the public library.” Avery spoke up.

“Wait, that’s a real book?” Cookie wondered.

“I thought you were in the development team.” Schmitty snarked.

“No, I was working on Joke Boat.” 

“SHHHHH! Here comes the good shit!” Nate announced.

“This is your wake-up call. Prepare to die!”

“We’re doing this!” Bob geeked.

“Welcome to Trivia Murder Party! Those “FREE VACATION” coupons you received in the mail were a trick to lure you into a game with deadly consequences. Only one of you will survive. Also, I’m trying to run this place as a legit hotel on the side, so try to keep your screams to a minimum so you don’t disturb the other guests. Okay, thanks!”

“Gee, wonder how that went.” Buzz snarked. “Well, enough for him to get a camp later.” Nate shrugged.

“Alright… first question…”

“Here we go.” Schmitty sighed.

“Who is NOT in the Paw Patrol?”

1) Chase

2) Skye

3) Zoom

4) Rocky

“Shit- how was I supposed to know that?!?” Bob worried.

Aianna went over the list. “Who names their dog Zoom?”

“It makes a hell of a lot more sense than Rocky.”

Nate thought about it. “Yeah, I don’t remember a dog named Rocky.”

“Use your device to answer the question.”

“Isn’t Chase the firedog?” asked Cookie.

“That’s Marshal. Cause he’s a fire marshal…” Avery said.

Guy just hummed to himself. I think it’s 2…

“Time’s running out…”

Schmitty gulped as he picked a number.

“And the correct answer is…”

Everyone held their breath.

3) Zoom

“What?” asked Nate.

“It’s not Zoom; it’s Zuma. He’s a chocolate lab and a water rescue pup who wears orange.” Avery said.

“Who got the question right?”

Checkmarks went over Aianna, Avery and Schmitty.

“Awwww, fuck.” Schmitty cursed. “You won, dumbass. What, were you looking forward to Googling the answers to the mindmeld?” Nate snarked.

“The rest of you… Time for consequences!”

“Welp! I’m out.” Bob groaned, throwing his hands up in the air.

“You’re down. Not out.” Schmitty reassured. “Chin up, champ.”

“Well, at least it ain’t letter writing.” Buzz paused.

“Ah, the lost art of letter writing.”

“FUCK!” Nate groaned.

“I’m going to dictate a message to you. Write down as much of what I say as you can. The player who writes the fewest of my words will die.”

“You can do this!” Bob beamed.

“Good luck.” Cookie worried.

Guy began to play with his jacket nervously.

“Ahem ahem. Okay, starting letter now.”

“Could be worse.” Aianna shrugged.

“Dear Guests,

While I appreciate you wiping down the exercise equipment after use, please refrain from doing so, as I am currently trying to collect those fluids. Thanks for your cooperation. Mondays, amirite?”

“AmI-” Bob read aloud.

“Time’s up!”

“Welp.” Buzz shrugged. “GG, fam, or whatever.”

“Okay, now just lemme look back at my beautiful words and what’s the result?”

“Oh, you failed HARD.” Cookie laughed.

“Shut up.” Guy scolded. 

MASTERSONC: 14

BIGGAYDICKS: 19

OTHERCUZZ: 10

HEADRUSHING: 10

IMANIDIOT: 10

“Wow, so much unacceptable content here.”

“It’s cause I wrote two Zs. That’s the bad luck.” Buzz sighed, shaking his head.

“Aw, don’t be superstitious.”  Guy reassured,

“Yeah, we tried our best.” Bob paused. “Besides, a better username than Big Gay Dicks- Nate, I swear to god and country that was a terrible idea.”

[pigspeetsandhooflikefeets]

Tell me some Buzz facts :3

Buzz is a bit starved for lore since he has the least content (yes, even Bob has more lore) but alright

Buzz is way better than the others at math. He's able to divide two digit numbers by other two digit numbers accurately to the thousands place (iirc). Schmitty forgot how to divide by either 100 or 1000, and Guy says he did impossibly bad at the math section of the SAT.

Additionally, Buzz is a math elitist. He is genuinely insulted you don't recognize the 13s or 17s tables (it's one or the other, but let's be real he'd say it for both)

He has a massive crush on is Vanessa Williams.

He viewed Carol Brady from the Brady Bunch as a second mother (Florence Henderson thinks he's weird for admitting it)

Maybe it's just Peter's voice acting, but Buzz seems so confused when referring to innuendos, to the point it's possible Buzz doesn't even understand the jokes he makes. Since they read off cards and prompters and don't write all their jokes themselves, it's completely possible he doesn't.

Despite popular interpretation, Buzz doesn't actually hate Cookie. During his question in Games, he calls over to Cookie for his opinion on a wrong answer, rather than someone like Guy, a host he has no opinion on.

Schmitty however he would maim.

Buzz has at least two younger sisters and one younger brother. He claims to have many niblings, so it's likely he has older siblings.

Buzz does not like children and thinks people who work with kids are masochists.

Based off how he treats himself in CCCs and chatting with Nate, he has terribly low self-esteem. When someone calls him a loser or a weirdo, he immediately agrees with them and audibly shrinks. When he's on his own, he prides himself well though.

Does not believe in astrology, like, at all. Also thinks people who do believe in it are weirdos (so Schmitty, Nate, and Bob)

He is on a caffeine-free diet, as Helen makes sure that the tea Buzz is ordered has no caffeine, as well as Buzz asking if the drink he gets (possibly the same drink) in a CCC has caffeine in it.

Buzz prefers Pepsi (likely the caffeine-free kind). This is opposite to Cookie, who claims to hate Pepsi.

His favourite drink however is white soda. That’s a bottle of carbonated milk that doesn’t taste sour like the homemade stuff. It’s also exclusively marketed towards children.

Buzz does not like food that he can see the eyes of. This possibly includes fish. Which makes Buzz's annoyance in C19H28O2 even funnier now.

Takes milk baths on occasion.

Drummer (shares this fact with Bob)

Enjoys hanging out with lawyers, so they'll let him read their case files. I assume he's like... sitting on their laps during this.

He also is hooked up to a police scanner. For fun.

Buzz has worked at Hooters. He does not explain what his job there was.

[incorrectjackboxquotes]

Jackbox video game HCs:

Buzz plays Miitopia, and he put Cookie as the dark lord as a way to vent his frustration. He also likes SNES platformers that attempted to create company mascots, and actually played them a lot before he got a job as host.

Cookie wasn’t really into animal crossing, but got addicted to it during quarantine. Doesn’t want anyone to find out he likes it, though.

Guy Towers and Buzz Lippmann play Dance Dance Revolution on occasion. Guy does it because it’s a good workout and the songs are catchy, Buzz does it because he loves the satisfaction of beating a hard song and it’s a workout routine that’s also a video game. They both tried Just Dance but thought it wasn’t as good.

Guy Towers hates RPGs because of the mountains of text he has to read in order to get the plot. But he definitely likes the annual sport game titles they throw out every year.

Schmitty definitely is into Pokémon, doesn’t get super hyped about the next generation like some people do, yet he still picks up the new games when they come out and plays until all the story stuff is done. Shares that interest with Todd and Shadow Master MC, though Todd is definitely a Pokédex completionist.

Lord Tippet, aka Christopher, is a huge trivia murder party fan. That made him even more psyched to work at Jackbox games alongside Lady Tiara/Diane (they’re both from Weapon’s Drawn, host names are temporary and might not match the revealed ones)

Jack Cake totally loves war strategy games (like Project Triangle Strategy and the Fire Emblem series), especially if they have a relationship building mechanic.

Nate Shapiro definitely plays No Straight Roads and other similar rhythm games. Tried Rhythm Heaven, but thought it was way too quirky for him.

Helen loves dungeon crawlers because they allow her to vent, especially after dealing with the other hosts antics.

Bob from headrush often plays Sega genesis games because he just loves that era of gaming. Plays n64 collect-a-thons for the same reason.

Whew, that’s a long list! Might make a part 2 if people like this.

^ Gaming head canons, let's goooooo!

[wrongydkjquotes]

"Nate, thank god you came with such short notice." Cookie sighed as Nate hung his coat near the door of Cookie's spacious house, his calm demeanor changing as he turned to wave at him. "I know you're the Binjpipe expert and all, and-"

"Your eyes." Nate stepped back. "They're glowing again. Cookie, do I need to-"

"No, no. I'm still me. 99% sure of that." Cookie snarked. "We all know Binjpipe is bad at hiding their kidnapping attempts, and she's fucking arrested now. There's no way." He sighed. "It's just...I think I gained superpowers?!?"

"Like as a side effect?"

"Yeah. Apparently I can mindfuck people now. And summon green lantern shit. Had to leave the office early because Helen said I needed this shit under control." As he said this, his eyes began to glow, and his TV began to float. As soon as the duo noticed it, however, it fell to the floor with a sickening crash.

"Fuck. Now I can add psychic powers to the list." Cookie groaned. "Look, I love the idea of these powers. Got to fuck with a couple of interns."

"That's always nice." Nate nodded as he brushed himself off and sat next to Cookie.

"Yeah. I don't want them removed. I just need help in controlling them. You think you can help a guy out? I-I'd do anything."

"Anything?" Nate smirked. "You sure?"

Cookie huffed. "Look, I really don't need this shit right now-"

Silence, as Nate's smirk cut through him like a knife.

"-Fine. I'll do anything you ask."

Nate took a minute to think about it. "Help me out on April Fools day and you've got yourself a deal."

"Deal." Cookie offered a handshake. Nate accepted it.

****

"I came as soon as I could-" Schmitty shivered as he hung his coat on the nearby coatwrack, slamming the door with urgency- before pausing to see Cookie meditating on the floor with Nate, their eyes closed and their expressions calm, sitting in a lotus position. A bunch of objects with pink auras were floating around them.

"-Ok. Be honest: am I drunk?"

"Nah." Nate opened one eye, his smirk returning in full force. "When the cops rescued Cookie from that dank old computer thanks to my brilliant expose on the company..." His voice turned hesitant. "...He might have gotten some emotion-controlled superpowers, and since you're used to being possessed by Redacted to do things, I...figured-"

"-Really. You called me here to be a mindfuck pawn." Schmitty groaned. "Of course you did. Why not Buzz?"

"Being interviewed."

"Guy?"

"Little league game."

"...Helen?"

"At work, dumbass."

"Fine. If I'm really the ONLY choice, I GUESS I can help you." Schmitty grumbled as Cookie slowly opened his eyes, causing everything to gently set down in their rightful places. "But you're gonna owe me one."

"Twenty bucks and we'll see Cocaine Bear together when it comes out, my treat." Nate offered.

"Pay for the popcorn, and make it IMAX." Schmitty negotiated.

"Deal." Nate offered his pinky, and the two linked them together in a pinky-promise motion. "Don't worry, it's more Jedi mind trick than actual brainwashing."

"Wow. How marginally better is that."

"Don't make me revoke the tickets to the bear-doing-fucking-cocaine movie."

"I'll be good." Schmitty spoke quickly as he sat across from Cookie.

They looked into each others' eyes.

Silence.

"...Ok. So now that I'm all calm and whatever, what the hell am I supposed to do?" Cookie glanced over at Nate. He shrugged.

Nate shrugged. "How did you activate the mindfuck thingy last time?"

"Well...." He thought about it. "An intern was like 'Uh Mr. Masterson, sir, we're out of coffee.' and I was like 'Oh come on, we can't be out of coffee that quick. You're bluffing, aren't you?' and he was like 'You got me sir, there's a huge line-'"

"Could you spare the squeaky-voice teen impression and get to the point?" Nate sighed impatiently.

"...I just...got mad at him and told him to get me my motherfucking coffee, right now. And that it was an order. And his eyes turned pink...and then he did."

"...Probably the inflection and forcefulness of that tone was what caused it."

"In English, please."

Nate huffed. "Say whatever command you wanna say like you're ordering someone to do it. Got it?"

"What command, genius?"

"Anything that won't make Schmitty fucking mad at me, ok?!?" Nate snapped, before realizing what he'd said. "....Sorry. It's just-"

"....Yeah. Stressful, I...I get that." Cookie awkwardly turned back to Schmitty. "I get that."

"Good. Now, uh-" Schmitty motioned to his body. "-These cocaine bear tickets won't earn themselves. You need any ideas, or?"

"Nah, nah, I've got one." Cookie gained a sly smirk of his own as he glanced over at Nate. He, in turn, whipped out his cell phone. "Camera ready?"

"...This is gonna be good." Nate gave a thumbs up.

"This is gonna-" Schmitty started, only to be interrupted by Cookie's booming, commanding voice.

"Listen, Schmitty, I know this is gonna sound crazy, but if you don't pants yourself right now I'm going to get Helen on your ass and fire you." His voice turned stern and loud, and with it, Schmitty's eyes glew bright pink. "Do I make myself clear, Schmitty? I'm not gonna wait all fucking night."

"....Yes sir." Schmitty mumured quietly as he did was he was told, revealing that he wore boxers covered with quips just as the glow faded from his eyes.

"....Wha...what happened? OH MY FUCKING GOD." He blushed, instinctively covering his privates before gritting his teeth. "NAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE-"

"Aaaaaaaaand saved."

"GIVE ME THAT PHONE-" Schmitty growled as he chased a smug-ass Nate around the room, trying his hardest to pull up his jeans.

Nate and Cookie howled with laughter in response.

***

posted it here bc f it

i wrote a thing

https://www.deviantart.com/booloocrew/art/BinjPowers-A-Quick-YDKJ-One-Shot-940857172

Cookie Masterson gets superpowers after ETS. Hijinks ensue.

that's it that's literally the plot.

enjoy :3

[schmitty-schmitstinstein]

Host Interpretation Ref Sheets

I finally made reference/headcanon sheets and some updated designs for my YDKJ host interpretations. In order I’m sharing Nate, Buzz, Cookie, Guy, Schmitty, and Bob.

This was fun to put together and I’m excited to just generally draw some more!

[beepsparks]

Part 5:

Cookie manages to break the five of them out of the closet/storage room, later that night

Cookie: WHOOOOO! NOW COME ON, LET'S GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!

Nate: *laughs maniacally* I AM A ROBOT! ROBOTS DON'T NEED TO SLEEP! I AM INVINCIBLE! BINJPIPE WILL SAVE US ALL!

Schmitty: *gluing googly eyes on the floor* HER EYES FOLLOW US EVERYWHERE! WE ARE UNDER HER CONTROL! WE OBEY HER EVERY WORD AND BEND TO HER EVERY ORDER!

Buzz: Did...did you know that...that... *long yawn* ...that we...we came from...from...from- *snort* -PENGUINS!

Guy: *completely out from devouring an entire chocolate bar* *HOOOONK SHOOOOOOOOOOO*

Cookie: *slow clap at the other four hosts' sanities* I'm tryna get us out, work with me, please

8:04 pm, 4/3/2024

Nate and Schmitty are having polar opposite reactions rn 😭 and Buzz is eepy and Guy is asleep HONK SHOOing. Good thing Cookie is actually TRYING here.

[magicalincorrectrobodokiquotes]

"Once Upon a De-Cyber" Clip

Shit has been eventful, with the company play, the concert and everything else. But finally, they could relax this evening, watching a few Christmas movies, warming up by the polycule’s fireplace and just talking together while Booloo and Avery were making Faebelle Christmas cookies and normal shortbread together.

Nothing could possibly go wrong. Besides, Ricardo made sure Nate got the RIGHT “Jack Frost” movie.

“Look!” Ginger muttered as she, Arianna, Honey and Glitch looked out the window, Glitch carried Cumin in his arm. “It’s really snowy out there!”

“SNOW!” Arianna cheered.

“Snow! Snow! Snow!” Cumin babbled.

The baby fae was getting pretty chatty for a 13 month old.

“I forgot fae babies learnt to talk around the four month mark.” Buzz mused as he sipped a hot chocolate.

“Yeah.” Ellie mused. “Otherwise I wouldn’t have said the MF word near my future brother in law…oh who am I kidding, I still would’ve! Just gimme a sec.”

“Mmmmmmmmmm, sure is cozy in the house.” Schmitty gushed as he wrapped himself and Cookie in a blanket.

“Hey!” Guy huffed. “Can’t I have some?”

“Noooooope.” Cookie blew a raspberry.

“Besides, one of us has to shovel the driveway.” Schmitty smirked.

“And it’s me because?”

“You’re the most fit.” Cookie smirked. “And we’re coooooooooomfy.”

“I shoveled this morning. It was 12:15 but it still counts as ‘morning’.” Guy huffed. “Lazy…”

“But we’re COMMMMFY!” Cookie gave the cute eyes.

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

“I did not order pizza.” Nate explained. “But, Guy, can you be an angel and get the-”

“YES, I’M GETTING THE MOTHERFUCKING DOOR!”

“Language.” Schmitty scolded. 

Guy just huffed and opened the door-

-as a freezing Kim ran in, shivering all the while.

“What happened?!?” Cookie gasped.

“Power went out in my place. Cold temps aren’t good for mermaids, since we’re like, part cold-blooded fish. Mind if I stay?” “Is that even a question? Of course!” Aianna beamed.

“Let’s ask Cookie.” Bob was more weary.

“Mi casa es fu casa.” Schmitty smiled.

“Tu casa.” Booloo commented. “Power went out in my place, some asshole ran into a power pole, it’ll take three hours. Mind if me and Ellie stay longer?”

Avery let out a laugh. 

"Yeeeeeeeeeah..." Ellie shivered. “We’re not taking no for an answer. If you don’t want us here, tough luck.”

“Fine.” Schmitty sighed. 

“NOW can I have some blanket?” Guy gave his best ‘cute eyes’.

[pigspeetsandhooflikefeets]

Helen: What's going on? What are all of you standing around for ...and why are you all wearing the same colours

Cookie: Ugh, blame Guy.

Nate: He got us these tacky varsity jackets that match his one he's always wearing

Buzz: And we're wearing them because he wants to take a stupid photo of all of us

Schmitty: I really don't get what goes on inside that thick skull of his

Bob: He's my brother, but I would willingly kill him at any moment

Helen: You five are so hateful. Guy went out of his way to get you all something nice and you're standing around feeling sorry for yourself. How do you sleep at night?

Guy, appearing: Helen! You're here! I was afraid we'd have to take the photo without you! Here you go. [drapes the varsity jacket on her shoulders. on the back it reads "COACH", with "00" underneath it] I'm sorry, I really should have asked what your last name was before I ordered them, so I had to improvise. Let me go get my digital camera! And someone to take the photo of all of us!

Helen:

the other hosts:

Helen: Ok, I can see why you all hate this

[pigspeetsandhooflikefeets]

*slams open the saloon door, drunker than should be physically possible, slurring words* HOSTS AND HOW MUCH THEY CAN DRINK *falls on saloon floor, bottle clamors out of my hand*

mathy dies yay

Nate: Nate can drink anyone under the table. it's literally terrifying. he says that a cold beer is only runner up to a "warm glass of breast milk" and like I know he's the spokesperson for the human breast milk company but can he not call it warm

Guy: Guy makes a lot of comments about loving alcohol but not really getting wasted. I assume because of his muscle mass it takes him a lot more to get intoxicated. keep your chin up man

Buzz: I don't think Buzz is even allowed to drink. he never really alludes to smoking or alcohol in his appearances either. idk

Cookie: A lot of people think that Cookie can't hold his liquor due to him getting really drunk and sick on the Languages floor, HOWEVER, if you answer wrong enough often enough you can make him drink a LOT more (you can do all of this: nudge him to switch to vodka, the Queen will order him to take two shots, and for one question he'll say it's so bad that he got another beer. not related to drinking, a different wrong answer he'll say all the alcohol in his system made him want to dance) so like the fact he can handle that on TOP of the alcohol he consumes predetermined in the game. I think him getting sick is more than justified if you play as heartlessly as I do

Schmitty: Schmitty already feels drunk a lot of games. I just KNOW there's going to be a level in L!F!F! or 5th Dementia that will talk about his alcohol consumption but I'm not at it yet

Bob: Bob isn't allowed to drink because he hosts a kid's game

[pigspeetsandhooflikefeets]

i just remembered the order they host in the ride iz technically wrong it waz supposed to be buzz-schmitty-guy-cookie but it ended up cookie-guy-schmitty-nate,, , they ended up with the wrong floorz

I'm not completely convinced that the order Helen said the names was relevant. if Schmitty was supposed to [technically] go next after the issue, why did she call Guy? She should have called Ray to look for Schmitty

considering Helen said it in defense of Buzz going immediately after, I think that means they were supposed to rotate forever, and since we don't have a set in stone order of [most] of the floors, it'd be hard to figure who WAS "intended" for each floor. though looking at the chart I made, Guy already weaves back and forth through the Cookie and Schmitty levels so if you played them in numerical order, you really would get him on rotation. a very very weird rotation

though there's 58 floors and 5 hosts... if they were to rotate like properly, some of them would miss out. that's unfortunate

[pigspeetsandhooflikefeets]

(Furby anon) Imagine walking up to someone with a furby. You introduce it as cookie and they're loike "oh that's a really cute furby!!!" and then the furby responds by calling them pathetic or something.

there's no proper emoji for Furbies so I'm gonna- [places a 🐱 sticker on your cute anon face] there!

Cookie IS such an innocent name for a Furby too! especially if it's this kind

You'd think "oh a lil chocolate chip cookie Furby baby!" and then it tells you to eat shit or something

YDKJ Hosts name in order of best to worst name for your Furby

1. Cookie: very cute and gentle name, especially paired with a spotted or brown Furby.

2. Buzz: it's an electronic after all! also there IS a bee striped Furby! nothing suspicious

3. Guy: Guy is already a funny name. "oh is that your lil Furby" "yeah it's my Guy" literally priceless

4. Bob: also a funny name!!! but not as funny as Guy for the context of a Furby

5. Nate: Don't name your Furby Nate

6. Schmitty: DON'T NAME YOUR FURBY SCHMITTY