#navii.txt

[stillshewanders]

about to break up with this guy everyone say a prayer that my ancestors protect me

[stillshewanders]

and what if i DO yearn and pine over the same love forever. what are you gonna do about it

[stillshewanders]

doechii and kendrick sweep i can lay my head down in peace

[stillshewanders]

period started so the random horrors for the past couple days are suddenly reasonable and not the signs and portents of madness

[stillshewanders]

started a new painting. perhaps that will protect me from the horrors

[stillshewanders]

i need to get back to the west coast so bad like its actually corrupting my bones. save me pacific ocean save me

[stillshewanders]

ovulation shouldn't give you ghost titty pain i'm already humiliated by the enormity of my desire

[stillshewanders]

finally FINALLY found the sharon olds poem that's been haunting me for two or three years now

[stillshewanders]

after my trip to both last week i am in love with san francisco but los angeles seems more doable and is also lovely........someone tell me what to do

[stillshewanders]

guys it's strange girl september time to rewatch bones and all every damn day

[stillshewanders]

going camping and then going to california in oct and then yes the horrors and the dark nights but after that ? i will be moving home (west) again and i can be at rest

[stillshewanders]

finally getting on course to get home to the west coast again is filling me with insane energy and obsession. like nothing sounds better than escaping this city where i went to a horrible school and live too close to my ex for comfort and going home !!!! to california !!? to a new place and a new city ?? if i can survive this one last winter i swear i will take my body somewhere warm and be soooo gentle with her

[stillshewanders]

guys should i move to LA be honest

[stillshewanders]

saw a picture of myself from two years ago and i look so young. i had slight baby cheeks then, a softer chin. what happened to her ?? like my hotness only increases every year don't get me wrong, but i am sorry to my younger self for stressing her so much that now her cheekbones are so sharp

[stillshewanders]

everybody wanna to talk abt love and devotion but nobody wants to admit that sure i love you but that brings paralyzing fear of the future and dreams of a foot caught bloody in a trap and handing someone the knife to cut out your heart (nothing more, nothing less!) etc etc

[stillshewanders]

i told my therapist i didn't really want to feel anything and did she have any suggestions? she said yes you can start doing meth <3 but i wouldn't recommend it