#needed to braindump this somewhere

[redstairs]

Heinrix romance thoughts

I am at work and I can't work because I am currently hyperfocusing on the character so please bear with me. Apologies if all this is boringly obvious.

So, we know from his writer that he's not opposed to flings and short dalliances and he even mentions one of those himself. If you pick the closeness options while romancing him, you could say it's the more slow burn kind of romance, but even then: you're interested and he knows, but he doesn't act. And if you romance him with the forward options, throwing yourself at him in the most gremlin way, he still doesn't pick you up on your offer. He's not insensitive to your charms, spilling his proverbial spaghetti left and right, but you're the one who has to kiss him.

It's because he can't act on it that he catches feelings, and it's because he has feelings that he can't act on it.

Before the Magnae Accessio, you're still pretty much under investigation by Calcazar, through Heinrix. He's utterly devoted to his job and I don't think it's a big stretch to imagine he doesn't engage you because he knows it'll cloud his judgement.

He's also aware of the power dynamics and literally tells you so at some point. Given his position, it could look to outsiders like him trying to blackmail you or abuse the situation. Which, you know, fair enough. It's highly probably that whoever he had flings with was not the target of his investigation or interrogation before. Imagine if he was with you to investigate, let's say, Pasqal, it might have been more doable to have a fling with you in the meanwhile. But I think it's especially significant to him that you are not put off by him while he is supposed to be the one investigating you.

You, instead, are actively seeking him out, asking about his well-being, if he feels lonely, having games of regicide with him while being aware he's there to snitch on you. There's the pull of being considered like a human, the fact you seem to like him and also you go through quite some stuff together.

By the time you reach the Magnae Accessio, he's in too deep, and even if Calcazar leaves him with you and you are open about wanting to take the thing further, he can't, and that's where his entire battle between his duty for the inquisition and his feelings starts in earnest. Hence the sentence "when it comes to my own desires, I can afford myself very little". By that point, he wants more than a short dalliance, but he's already in too deep and switches to a more amour courtois kind of position. Which Commoragh will smash.

I also HC that Calcazar realises the attraction - and is all too happy to leave him with you. Part of his reasons for sending Heinrix away to Rykad Minoris in the first place is that he finds him too dogmatic to let in on his grand plan. Leaving Heinrix next to his love interest will at least keep said Acolyte a bit more distracted. Because let's be honest, there's plenty of dire stuff happening in the Koronus expanse that Heinrix could tackle, aside from being in a Rogue Trader's retinue.

[chaotic-iguana]

dewdrop

in which miguel really, really likes mornings. or maybe not.

warnings: smut-ish? fluff? more of a braindump to get me back into writing. oh also yeah, add miguel to my character list.

morning: the suspension of time between night and day; reality warped and fuzzy and warm in the in-between; soft and slow and dripping like honey. 

the steady weight of an arm resting  on your back, a chest rising and falling under your head. the drag of the hours to come forgotten somewhere under muffled whines and fluttering lashes; greedy, grasping fingers and hungry mouths, burning kisses and whispers getting lost in the frigid air resting her fingers on your lips.

mornings are sacred. mornings are untouched; untainted by anything that was and anything that could be. golden tendrils wrapped around sighs breathed into skin, soft caresses and tangled hair met with gentle grins and gentler hands. 

mornings when even the birds are asleep; flowers slumbering under dew, when your stirring prompts a raspy ‘sleep well?’, as you blink against the blinding light kissing your lashes. when small talk becomes a symphony of moans swallowed by the seal of your mouth on his, when miguel can really take his time taking you apart and putting you back together; lay back as you straddle him and leave burning trails of kisses down his chest, watch your eyes shut and your head tip back as your toes curl, fingers fisting the bedsheet beside him and you’re divine- 

until the steady beeping of his watch signals the end of your stolen time, lyla popping up with a smirk and half-assing her way through a snarky comment while telling him about how ‘there’s another emergency and they need you now’ and day catches up with him again, sinking its claws into the delicate balance of dawn and dragging him with it. until all he can do is kiss your head and work you through it, leaving you under a heap of blankets and whispered praise before ripping off his sweatpants and activate his suit, fists curled in irritation and opening a portal, the breath knocked out of him when he turns for one last glimpse of you splayed out on his bed. until all he can do is handle it until morning comes around again. 

short, i know (sorry). update - i might be coming back?? as always, thanks for reading, comment your thoughts or find me on ao3. stay hydrated and have a great day! taglist: @imherefordeanandbones @theywhowriteandknowthings,@josephquinnswhore,@millerscoffee, @nostalxgic, @sscorpiiio, @its-nebuleuse, @sofiparallel, @mandoisapunk, @bastardmandennis (hey pal), @amanitacowboy, @party-hearses, @planet-marz1, @chiogarza, @jenispunk. i know y’all didn’t sign up for miggy content so let me know if u wanna be tagged only in pedro works. divider by the amazing @cafekitsune.

[queenerdloser]

see my issue is i keep ping-ponging between what i find important in an apartment and that means my parameters for what apartments i like enough to actually apply for keeps changing. like, do i care way more about square footage/space or do i care about how updated and modern it is? do i care about how close it is to my job or is it fine bc i'm hybrid and i'm only there two days a week anyway, so my commute time really doesn't matter as much? do i care i'm still right next to a green area like a park or does it not matter bc i currently live next to a park and i don't really take advantage of that now anyway? how strong is my desire to find a place with an in-unit washer/dryer? do i care that the outside building looks sad and run-down? do i care if the area i'm living in is busy or quiet? how much am i truly willing to spend on rent and what actually will make me comfortable with spending more?

[long scream]

i have to put my own pontificating under the cut bc i talk myself in circles so much i get long lmao

it's just frustratingly hard for me to figure out what matters to me and i feel like the longer my apartment search goes, the less i can figure out my own parameters. like i love more space, but i'm also self-aware enough to realize it will just be me and my cats, so do i REALLY need that much space when it means spending an extra hundred or more on rent. i'd like to live closer to work, but the one building that has availability near there i have mixed feelings on since they've got a high rate for their fiber internet and the tenant pays utilities, so i'd end up with a rent more comparable to a much bigger/newer apartment. PLUS even tho it's close walking distance (yay) it's also weirdly situated so it's about a comparable bus distance - which means in the winter, when i likely wouldn't be walking, there'd be no real bonus to living there. i love living off a park now bc it makes it really easy to be outside when it's nice, but i'm also self-aware enough to realize i'm a homebody and now that i can drive/have a car it'd be fairly easy to get to a green space in my city pretty quickly without living right on it and paying the premium for that.

i'm also like. okay, how much do i care how updated my apartment looks. does it matter if it's kind of dingey and outdated if the rent is cheap enough and everything's like working and servicable? i spend a LOT of time in my apartment bc it's a space i feel the most relaxed, so i want it to be somewhere i enjoy coming home to - not just kind of a place i exist in. can i make it that way even if it doesn't start out that way? arghhhhh.

like i applied to this remodeled church bc i really loved the aesthetic of it and the apartment was new + beautiful + big. but they recently updated their pictures of the unit and looking at it again, i'm noticing stuff i didn't really pick up when i was touring - some like exposed piping and beams i'm not sure about, the layout being a little weird, etc. also since it's a basement apt i'd be on the first floor and that was what initially made me hesitant and makes me hesitant again every time i think about signing the lease... but at the end of the day, i don't think floor matters to me so much either i guess??? they also STILL haven't gotten back to me with an application decision so i have no idea if they're even an option and tbh the length of turnaround on the application makes me kind of wary. i mean, my background check cleared the next day, they have all my info... not really sure what's taking the extra time tbh and it's kind of frustrating to have complete radio silence about it for an entire week when the move-in would be may 1.

and i have another apartment i really liked when i saw it and still kind of want to apply to, but i'm hesitating bc it's in a much busier area than most of the places i went to see and the building itself is kind of eh. like it's a 2nd floor apt which is fine but the only laundry units are like three floors down in the basement and there's only two of them for the whole building, which seemed pretty big? but at the same time, i'm also like, well i could just do what i was already kind of planning to do in my current place, which also has laundry room issues, and buy a little portable washer and go back to dry hanging my clothes like i did in japan which worked just fine for me. it's a bigger place and has a couple of huge closets which feels nice, but it's also largely carpeted and tbh with cats i struggle with carpet so i was hoping to find another hardwood floor unit since it makes cleanup SO much easier. but i've lived with carpets before so i'd manage and i don't know that it's a dealbreaker. also thinking about visits from parents, bc it'd be an area that's further north and harder for them to get to - but do i care, when they visit so rarely? idk! the location is also just busier in general and tbh i prefer quiet/resedential streets. but it's closer to downtown so it'd be really easy to go see shows like i regularly do and literal blocks from three grocery stores, which is very nice.

and the one that's close to work is also nice and updated but it's a higher price for a smaller apartment and i seriously don't like that they have fiber optic, but they have a different one than i use now which is 50 bucks more than i pay now for the same damn service. it's also kind of in a sketchier area, but ALSO really close to downtown and off of the river, which has a huge green area and a park down the road. two blocks from a grocery store, which helps too... if the price was about 100 dollars cheaper or they had the fiber optic company i currently use, i'd probably consider them a top choice tbh but those two points really make me hesitate.

and like. i think i'm spiraling too deep/overanalyzing but moving is a pain and i probably won't want to have to do it again in a year unless the place i choose is That Bad. so i'm going to have to pick a place to live for the next several years and i want to make sure i pick one i'll really like, which is where i think the issue is coming up - so far, aside from the remodeled church (which i am now waffling about lmao) i haven't seen any unit where i've really fallen in love with it or felt an instant spark.

AND as i was typing all of this out in despair i just got a confirmation to go see a HUGE HUGE first floor duplex that's literally two blocks down from where i currently live. it's definitely about a hundred or so out of what i wanted to spend and they weren't clear in the listing about utilities, so it could potentially be priced out for me if a lot of that gets added on, but it's HUGE and all hardwood floors (thank god) and in this area, which i already know and like and has everything i want. so maybe i'll end up falling in love with that one? which then leads me back to maybe the biggest internal struggle i've had with myself, which is how much space can i really justify taking for a price when i'm just one person with cats who doesn't really have visitors that often? but like. i'm planning to buy a house in the future and i wouldn't compromise on space then just bc it feels weird to have an extra bedroom to myself or w/e so why should it matter when it's an apartment????

[long scream]

at this point, i need someone to just pick an apartment for me

[stikybug]

The polycule brainrot is so strong.

I need to put some of these ideas down but i don't like making things pretty so this is just a braindump . All under cut to not clog

Stealing clothes between them would be so so so common. Mc is a menace and has 6 oversized shirts she totally swears are hers. Only one is

Second biggest offender is Ayn when staying at home , Alkaid stares at him for 5 minutes straight when he sees his missing sweater matched with cat earphones

It's so cute a photo was sent to the gc, obviously

They start sleeping at the sameish time, it's such a perfect excuse to go over to their cute partners and be tender before bed how could they not?

Because of this, Mc, Lars, and Ayns' shitty sleep schedule gets fixed

Cael isn't around so much but you know they get weekly texts from him that says the sweetest things ever

Lars pampers his stunning partners so well when he's finally free, candlelit dinners, gifts in the droves for all of them, even arranging so the place is basically empty when they get there since most of them don't like crowds

All of them are banned from playing ludo. This is final after the incident

Since Cael was officially the last one to get in Clarence planned a whole thing that was a celebration of him getting out of denial phase. And the announcement he also had a plus of four boyfriends

Confusion did not even begin to describe the expression the man had

Sometimes if people are nosy Ayn would start talking about different partners in the same conversation

"Oh you know my boyfriend's really cute with those doe-eyes"

"BOYFRIEND?"

"Yes, anyway my girlfriend the other day gave me this-"

Chaos ensues.

He doesn't care about the rumors though. He's noticed how his playing changed ever so slightly when thinking about his partners. In the span of a week after this noticeable change he found himself writing 5 different pieces for them.

He gives them the pieces by the time of their anniversary, mentioning he'd even play it for them if they wanted.

A private concert happened that day, it didn't need to be recorded to be engraved into their memories.

A while after that, the little painter and Emerald both released pieces that felt like they were overflowing with love and other warm sentiments.

Alkaid sends photos of the sky every time an observation night comes up in the astronomy department. He makes notes about which constellations remind him of his partners the most.

Obviously if any of them point a photo out or say one is pretty it's going to be printed out in the universal imaging studio

The starry photos are all probably framed and hung on a wall somewhere. Ayn has them in his hideout, Lars has the images upsized and on full display in his home, Clarence has one particularly sentimental one on the desk of the student council office, Cael has it as his phone background so he could see it wherever he went, and MC has it in her studio, always up to give her a boost of inspiration when she needed it.

William almost has a heart-attack every morning since Clarence has been looking the giddiest he's ever been since he and MC started dating.

He figures it out since Clarence is just so obvious. He's had the same reaction to two students that he has with the little painter. The way that his eyes light up whenever Ayn 'just so happens' to need to go to the student council so many times? And their conversations meander and flow too slowly for this to even be about their original topic anymore.

Or how he manages to write up an excuse to 'supervise' the Astronomy Department's viewing nights most of the time when he felt no need to previously, always found near Alkaid most of the time.

If one were to sneak a peek at his diary, it would probably contain paragraphs upon paragraphs of how pretty his partners were and things they did or things he saw that reminded him of them.

Cael was the most cautious about this entire arrangement. While he cared about her he had no idea if it would even be possible for him to catch feelings for the rest of them.

Unfortunately, the little painter has exceptional taste.

It was different for each of them, but it ended back in the same giant mess he has been dealing with for the past few months: He's so very attached to all of these charming men that he's caught himself blushing at the thought of them.

And these feelings came with the problems of someone like him developing such deep fondness for someone. The danger and chance of discovery he would give not just to the little painter, but the paragons of this world.

When he brings this concern up he's very lovingly shown how stupid he is by the sheer willingness of his boyfriends to love him despite knowing all of this.

Maybe this would be alright. They have each other no matter what afterall.

[the-au-collector]

Was inspired by reading some LU incorrect quotes about cooking to make this little braindump. So uh yeah have some “how good are the Links at cooking” headcanons:

Wild - resident chef, obviously. Very good cook. Was taught how to at the Dueling Peaks stable and it’s very relaxing for him to cook. He genuinely enjoys cooking and has recipes saved from all over his Hyrule. He will fight the others for cooking duty, both on the road and when they’re somewhere safe. He just loves to cook. Before the Calamity, though, he could not cook. At all. He was absolutely horrible at it. Flora was surprised when she learned he knew how to cook all of a sudden.

Twilight - can only make pumpkin stew. More often than not he’s eating food from Telma’s, stuff that doesn’t need to be cooked, or he hunts and eats as a wolf.

Sky - knows a few recipes. I feel like the Knight Academy would at least teach basic recipes, so he can handle himself on his own. It’s just not especially flavorful compared to Wild’s cooking. Also pumpkin stew. If he can he will make pumpkin stew.

Warriors - also was taught how to cook because he’s a Knight, but is still a danger in the kitchen. He makes some pretty infamous gruel. It’s really bad. Keep him out of the kitchen. He lost his taste buds during the War of Eras

Time - he theoretically can cook it’s just that he makes too much of a mess when doing it. He will drop everything, spill anything, and end up covered in ingredients despite actively trying to be clean. Time makes dinner time look like a bomb went off and it’s so much of a hassle to clean and honestly a bit of a waste, especially only for bad to mediocre meals at best. He can survive when Malon’s not home, but is his food good? No. No it’s not. As a kid he was hopeless. Luckily the puppy dog eyes worked like a charm as a kid. When he got older Talon eventually sat him down and taught him how to cook basic meals. Malon’s taught him a little too, but again. He just makes a mess

Hyrule - cannot cook. Was never taught and can’t teach himself since he was never taught to read. But he does know how to find edible food on the road. He’s a really good forager and that’s how he sustained himself on his journeys

Wind - can cook some things. Granny’s been teaching him how to cook. He knows Granny’s soup recipe but he insists he can never make it right so he never actually makes it. He can cook basic fish dishes but doesn’t have an arsenal of recipes. Usually it was down to whatever he could find for cheap in a store or fish himself during his adventures. I feel like Tetra’s ship has a cook so he doesn’t need to worry about food anymore. If he had the choice, though, he would live off Granny’s soup and nothing else

Four - Can cook. Probably the most reliable cook after Wild. He can make some fancy and genuinely good dishes. He just doesn’t particularly like the stress of cooking. Red’s always worried no one’s going to like it, Green wants to experiment, Vio wants to follow the recipe to a T, and Blue just wants everyone to shut up. I feel like during his journeys he used his age, and then his height, to his advantage to get free food whenever he could. I like to think he would help his grandpa cook whenever he could as a kid and thus actually learned how to cook

Legend - Can cook, but only in a kitchen. He never managed to get the hang of cooking over an open fire. Though while he can cook, I feel like he has a special preference for baking since his uncle would make apple tarts with him when he was little. During his earlier adventures, someone would usually cook for him (except for his first, he’d usually have to steal to get by) since he was still pretty young, but he slowly learned to cook over the course of his adventures. He learned a lot on Koholint specifically, so he knows a lot of seafood dishes though he doesn’t usually make those

[courtkossai]

Cw: fear of community. Trying to figure my-selves out.

Hi sorry idk what to do.

I’m a physical alterhuman. I want to explore it but I’m really scared.

My reality is not its own thing, but it’s not entirely the shared reality of most other people.

I have the bilocation. I am multiple and in many places. I HAVE wings, they aren’t phantom shifts.

Sorry but how do y’all speak on it? I feel so afraid of the community.

yeah , can not blame at all for hesitations and fears ... things can be rough , especially right now .

mm . every so often kossai trawl through notes of other folks posts and block anyone cruel about physical identity and experience , because not really breakdown by random attempts at reality checks or insults and sanism - just tend to see that shit as kind of sad , honestly , that anyone feel need to spend time this way rather than mind business . do this not only to avoid annoyance of folks who waste time , but also with hopes to at least partially cut off from audience who would be more hurt than kossai is , as understand not everyone have mental tolerance for this .

with that in mind , completely fair if also lack mental tolerance for this , but figure worth mention if that might be doable once or twice . unfortunately blocks still can not stop all cruelty from slip through , especially if anyone choose to abuse anonymous functions , but anonymous is optional - that and preemptive blocks can give some peace of mind .

though on that note , maybe to understand some of anti-physical thoughts would help as well :

sometimes there is concern ( usually put in air quotes ) for folk with delusions - often present such folks in sanist and cruel ways , make arguments against autonomy and legal rights , even treat as identical non-individuals

sometimes there is desperate want to appear " normal " to outsiders , as if that will aid in acceptance ( will not ! )

sometimes there is element of dysphoric jealousy , which take out on others

sometimes , plain and simple , just want to bully and act cruel , and this happen to be target .

not exhaustive list , of course , but this is what observe . sometimes to understand why can make these kind of bites sting less - as much as this is cruel bullshit which should have no place in world , kind of can not help but laugh , sometimes , to see fellow grown adults still waste time on bully and target . likewise , if able to see someone else is jealous and dysphoric ... will be clear , not always anything one can do to help that , but might feel better to know when not actually personal .

beyond that ... private spaces might serve better than public ones in some regards , whether later go public or not . kossai is not really able to go such places , since usually happen on discord these days , so do not have any specific recommendations - especially ones fit for " newbies " so to say . some folks do have off-site blogs and mail lists , though , which free up articles from some of tumblr-cycle discourse .

also , nothing wrong with good braindump journal , somewhere away from internet ! can not get feedback from others that way , but might help to sort out what want to share in public , and what is better in private , without have to learn hard way . to have somewhere for more private thoughts can be relief in terms of community interaction - other folks will only see slices of experience , which limit ability to make cruel judgments ... and occasionally make attacks downright laughable , heh .

hopefully this is helpful in some way or another - wish best of luck to find comfort and peace :)

[sparkluvr]

agere prowl + caregiver jazz braindump :3

I think Prowl’s regression would initially be involuntary. When pushed past its limit, his tac-net will offline itself and go into a hard reset. meaning he suddenly goes from perceiving thousands of sensations at once to almost nothing. He was forged so he never experienced being a sparkling, but this is essentially his version of it. It’s extremely disorienting, but also freeing? It’s the first time in a very long time that he’s able to just .. exist 

Since his regression is involuntary, he eventually decides to tell Jazz. A hard conversation now is safer than waiting for Jazz to accidentally find out, but he’s still expecting some kind of negative reaction. On the contrary, Jazz is very happy to be trusted with something like this! He’s actually the one to suggest that Prowl try regressing on purpose, even buying him some sparkling toys and snacks so he can get fully immersed. They never officially discussed Jazz being his caregiver, but it’s such a natural fit that neither felt the need. 

Being a caregiver is extremely cathartic for Jazz. He’s always taken pleasure in taking care of his conjunx, and there’s such an intense level of trust and vulnerability needed for something like this .. it’s intimate in a way he didn’t know he needed

On bad days Prowl regresses to a younger age, probably around 3ish by our standards. This leaves him needy, crying but nonverbal until Jazz can calm him down and redirect his feelings somewhere else. Those days are definitely lazier, with Jazz usually getting him settled in bed with a few snacks, his plushies, and something silly pre-loaded onto a datapad for them to watch together

He regresses to around 8ish on good days, leaving him super hyper and excited to play! Jazz loves to dance and make music with him to help work off his excess energy, before moving onto something calmer like coloring. Prowl spends more time babbling about whatever’s on his mind than he does actually coloring, yapping his little spark out while Jazz happily nods along

Speaking of!! Since Prowl was forged with Praxian as his primary language, he’s bad to get a heavyyy accent while regressed and verbal, especially when he’s distressed or excited. It can be hard to follow, but he doesn’t seem to notice when Jazz lulls in the conversation, content to carry on whatever train of thought he’s riding now 

Plushies are his preferred way to play, so he’s got lots stashed away. While coloring is definitely fun when he’s got Jazz to talk to, it can be reallyyy boring solo. Plus, playing with his plushies gives him a creative outlet he doesn’t normally allow himself outside of regression, with each plush having their own backstory! Jazz will sometimes redirect him by asking about them and having him introduce them all, nodding along like it’s the most interesting thing in the world while Prowl explains why Teddy got detention AGAIN! 

His favorite plush is a weighted penguin Jazz got him many, many years ago. I think it’d look something like this!

Aside from that, Jazz also got him a toy drum-kit so they could play together! They’re designed to dampen the noise so Prowl doesn’t get overstimulated, but he’s still able to jam out to his hearts content. Jazz usually plays on electric instruments for the same reason, using an amp to manually adjust the volume as needed

[hillbillyoracle]

Roll Table - Have a Random Day!

Not every entry will be applicable for every person, feel free to reroll or tweak where necessary.

d4 - Mix Up Your Morning Routine

Listen to a new/different playlist

Text someone you’re thinking of them

Get a little extra movement in

Make yourself a small treat

d6 - 15 Minute Clean

Bedroom

Bathroom

Kitchen

Living Room

Other Area

Car + Purse

d8 - Physical

Do a strength focused workout

Do a yoga flow

Go for a long walk

Do a cardio focused workout

Hygiene task you’ve procrastinated

Fill up a water bottle

Stretch thoroughly

Have an at home spa hour

d10 - Intellectual

Write a post about something you’ve learned + publish it

Start/work on a MOOC or CE course you’re interested in

Listen to an audiobook while you stim or craft

Research an interesting topic for an hour

Add a few books to your TBR; start one

Read a random page on Wikipedia

Spend (extra) time learning a language

Learn a new aspect of a craft or hobby you enjoy

Do a puzzle (crossword, sudoku, actual puzzle)

Play an RPG, board game, or card game solo (pref: no screens)

d% - Emotional + Spiritual

Write 3 pages stream of consciousness

Meditate for 20 minutes

TMS journaling for 20 minutes

Pull a tarot spread + make notes

Spend 20 minutes reading a sacred text

Make a decision tree

Write a letter then destroy it

Spend time in prayer or with a rosary

Audit your friendships - how well are you doing?

Give an offering to the ancestors or other spirits you work with

d12 - Environment

Make any health, beauty, or car appointments you need

Do another 15 minute clean in the same area

Do a task you’ve put off for at least a week

Run errands you’ve been meaning to

Go through paper clutter and toss a few things

Meal plan and/or go over grocery list thoroughly

Do a load of laundry (or a bonus one)

Prep for a disaster in some small way

Clean one thing that’s been bothering you

Make your space a little happier in some way

Add some greenery to your space

Do a thorough braindump

d20 - Random Encounter

Pick up litter somewhere near you

Go find a geocache near you

Do a good deed for someone in need

Identify a new-to-you plant nearby

Stand barefoot outside for 5 minutes

Make a fake flyer, put it up somewhere

Watch a movie you’ve heard very little about

Go to the Library or a Little Free Library

Write a letter to a friend or loved one + send it

Cook a new to you lunch or dinner

Take 5 pictures of interesting things

Redecorate your room in some way

Do/buy something for a friend

Take a selfie at/in a place you’ve never been

Create some art

Spend time on a hobby

Make yourself a treat at home

Grab yourself a small treat out

Chill in a third location (not home or work)

Buy yourself something small off your Wishlist

[c4rdkingd0m]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN I NEVER POSTED ROUXLS’ REF SHEET FOR ANGEL’S HEAVEN HIGH?????

here it is gang, it’s been done for a while

cw// he’s got a bad home life, self explanatory (i am 100% not projecting definitely mhm)

pleasepleaseplease tumblr dont massacre the quality—

would you guys like it if i made a seperate blog dedicated to this au? i’ve been thinking about it. (Also been thinking about braindumping some lore, so need somewhere to put that, heh)

[communicationsarchiveweehoo]

(ignore this post i need somewhere to braindump)

[blanket-hugger]

i have wasted my day being upset and doing almost nothing. the IOF continues its slaughter in gaza. people in the professional environment (uni & research) are tiptoeing still when it comes to describing facts on the ground. i go to some marches & donate a bit & i sort of exist in a society trying not to be a shithead but that's it

had a review request today i accepted before noticing the affiliation of the authors (and the foreboding grant acknowledgment (non-military, but likely a slimy oligarch)). not sure what to do (sorta pure math paper, not sure i know a single person involved in an academic boycott of israel in my field) msg'ed some academia friends who are sympathetic, but still unclear what course of action i should/want to take.

i keep coming back to the infuriating discussions about israel i had with irl ppl b4 october 7th.

i keep coming back to some of the more visceral experiences tied to colonialism in my life (quaint maybe in the grand scheme of things, but still upsetting. holidays-with-parents in technically former or current colonies (one of the reasons i hate the concept of tourism) (easy way of getting that reactivated is to look at comments on videos on the situation in kanaky). whatever is going with international students in UK's HE. other things.)

not sure where i am going with this. i feel weak & somewhat isolated, which is normal ig. maybe i need to braindump some of this somewhere. idk if i want to braindump more specifics. i'll try to move on with my day for now and think all of this over at some later point. it's only 11pm

[gaiuswings]

Incoming braindump, because I have a lot of thoughts about Tav!Gaius and Wyll and I need to get them out SOMEWHERE.

One of the things I love about pairing these boys is how similar they are in so many ways, and then the other half they are stark contrasts. Like they are both mirror and opposite side of a coin at the same time.

Folk heroes. Do-gooders. Intensely strong moral compass and compassion for others, especially the outcasts and common folk without the means to defend themselves. They're both so corny and make half the party roll their eyes with their bleeding heart antics. They're the "Two Men: Our bodies are strong but our friendship is stronger!" meme except they're also dating each other. And it's sweet and sappy and Astarion is making gagging motions in the background.

But the struggle in their relationship is the hero worship they each have for the other. Placing the other man on a pedestal while comparing their own shortcomings to this mental ideal they hold.

In Wyll, Tav!Gaius sees the storied hero sung of in every tavern. The Blade of Frontiers! Dozens of adventures already under his belt and beloved by all the good people of the Sword Coast. He's smart and charming, and his poetic way with words leaves Gaius with butterflies in his stomach. And then add on top of that the 'Tragic Cursed Prince' air that he has - Wyll has been faced with numerous impossible choices throughout his life and never hesitated to sacrifice himself for the greater good. It's lent him a mantle of duty that sits heavier than any horns upon his head. Gaius wonders how Wyll can continue to smile so warmly, how he's lived for so many years banished and despised by the very loved ones he sold his soul to save. Would he have been able to make that same sacrifice? Would he have been able to keep on living and fighting when the world kept kicking him into the dirt, to pick himself back up and keep going because there were people that needed him?

How can Gaius, a simple green-behind-the-ears farmboy playing at paladin hope to compare? When he's just a big ox-in-armor stumbling blindly into traps, falling again and again for the tricks of their enemies because he can't see past the innocent faces they hide behind. He's better suited for the hay fields than the lordly courts Wyll was raised in.

And in Tav!Gaius, Wyll sees the shining knight that epics sing of. Bright, brilliant, good and humble and just, the shield against evil. He's the textbook definition of a paladin, but with the humble beginnings that keep him rooted with the common folk. He's quick to smile and makes friends everywhere they go, having a natural likable aura that draws people to him. He's always willing to offer a helping hand, no matter how small and unglamorous the deed. And the man is far more insightful than his 'simple country boy' demeanor lets on. He can peel back the defensive layers of a person to gently address the trauma driving those wicked deeds. And always offers a second chance to those willing to change their ways. Even to the most reprehensible, seemingly too far gone to be reached. He offered a sympathetic hand out to THE Kendrick Thorn, the necromancer lord of the Shadowlands! And even more miraculously, the man responded with contrition, realizing the wickedness of his actions! Could he, Wyll, every be able to achieve that level of heroic gallantry? He who is so quick to slay the 'wicked,' to exact his vigilante 'justice' - a quick, easy, bloody fix that takes lives that might have otherwise been saved if he'd been willing to take the risk and offer a hand instead of a blade.

How could he, who dances on the strings of a she-devil for his hell-born powers, ever dare to stand equal beside this living embodiment of goodness?

So they each pull themselves down while uplifting the other. But that also leads them to support each other when they realize those bitter feelings are weighing them down. It just takes time for each of them to open up and be honest with themselves for once.

Paladin and Warlock. Farmboy and Courtly Lord. Two boys raised on tales of heroes and good vs evil, chasing those ideals.

Bonus screenshot as thanks for making it this far through my character rambles!

[lea-andres]

Also BugBear occasionally get high. Jewel doesn't like to when she has work the next day because she's susceptible to headaches, but she'll partake when her schedule allows.

They also both don't smoke weed, they split edibles. And by split I mean Jewel takes the tiniest crumb because too much will hit her like a train and Bark then takes the rest of it because he's so big he needs more than normal just to feel it.

It usually turns into the two sitting in a "that can't be comfortable, why are you sitting like that?" pile on the couch. Jewel's been braindumping so hard for about two hours now (she lost track of what the hell she was talking about almost instantly but kept going anyway) and Bark's way off in space somewhere like 👁️👄👁️.

Bean, who NEVER does drugs of any kind in my lore (So yes, he's just Like That™ naturally) records them sometimes because he thinks they're hilarious.

[aeide-thea]

absolutely the most boring braindump of a Post Abt Chest Management Solutions, lmao, ergo cut for length—

am hanging around in one of the cotton fruit of the loom ~bralettes~ i bought recently (3 for $15! unbelievable bargain probably made possible by a sweatshop somewhere! no ethical consumption &c!), which like—truly is any word better designed 2 induce dysphoria. like i already hated talking abt myself and bras in the same sentence and now: a further feminizing diminutive suffix!! rigged for hir displeasure!—and thinking like.

(1) thrilled to have found an approach 2 the problem [some people call their tits 'the girls.' i call mine 'the problem.'] that's as comfortable as these. like i accidentally slept in one last night because i didn't get the discomfort cue that normally prompts me to strip down for sleep. extremely can't complain in that regard.

(1b) …does that mean i should really try a size down for better more flattening compression tho. very possibly! but i guess really it depends on whether this set shrinks in the wash much, so like. stay tuned.

(2) the fabric of these is still probably too heavy for really hot weather, i'm guessing, and regardless of thickness cotton just inherently absorbs rather than wicking, so. problem not fully solved. but for the current warm-but-not-sweltering temps these are pretty good. definitely an improvement over nylon against clammy skin.

(3) it continues to be deeply baffling to me that so many people, if the market is to be believed, prefer non-racerback straps for everyday wear. like—these bralettes i bought are essentially just incredibly basic cropped camisoles with some elastic at the bottom hem, and while they weren't totally horrendous in that configuration, i unpicked the stitching on the straps and reattached them at the center back to make a rough-and-ready racerback like so: _\/_ and it was just. immediately vastly more comfortable not to have the straps crossing my shoulder blades. like i accept that we're all different and have different prefs but part of me is just like '…are ppl who prefer that style sure that isn't just familiarity/false consciousness speaking tho.'

(4) the one thing abt these bralettes that still isn't really ideal, but which would be a much bigger project to fix, is that like. not all of us need this much fabric along the vertical axis, lol. like obviously they make these as long as they do to accommodate the amount of tissue in larger chests, and like, thumbs up for that, but for those of us who don't present with that degree of convexity, it's just like. this garment could've been a solid inch shorter and still accomplished its goals?? and so you wind up with extra fabric and either have to roll the band up to reel in the slack or else just live with it bunching up in the eaves, and like, neither approach is totally terrible but. could be better!!

and yeah, i could unpick the stitching on the elastic and cut an inch off the bottom and then work out how to reassemble things, but like. the strap relocation was easy and i could do it by hand while watching tv, whereas elastic is intimidating and also that's more sewing than i really want to do by hand. so in theory i'd want to figure out how to do it on the machine which. is also intimidating. so i'm just living with it, at least for now.

finally & probably most importantly (5) spending this much brainspace [i mean like. just look at this stupid fucking hydra of a post.] on Problem Management does make me mad, lol. like. most of the time it just feels easier to accept the situation and strap it down to something ignorable than to seek out a surgical remedy that's separated from me by so many barriers (expense/current lack of insurance, soc anx, perfectionism, serious uncertainty abt whether it would actually on the whole be an improvement vs just Differently Wrong, fear of increased transphobia), but when it's like. well now i'm having to actively engage with the problem and spend time and thought and money and effort on it anyway, just in ways that make me feel powerless and resentful rather than self-actualized and hopeful… blegh.

[twotangledsisters]

Another for the WIP pile.... A modern Au sequel??? (some public brainstorming)

WARNING: possible spoilers

Also possible this fic will never happen... also possible this fic will happen and be nothing like this initial braindump but I gotta throw the ideas somewhere XD

Fic starts with Cassandra in the tts universe where we left her. She's exploring some ruins alongside this universe's Lady Caine who is acting particularly bitter towards Cassandra. Despite that they ARE working together.

Something in the ruins is glowing. Cassandra touches some glowing runes to test them. They cause a flashback to another universe, to Modern Lady Caine and their life together.

Lady Caine asks and Cassandra answers honestly that they cause flashbacks but she doesn't know what else. But knowing Zhan Tirir (this is where it's revealed to readers Cass and Caine are exploring old ZT ruins and trying to 'deactivate' all of her remaining magic so future generations don't have to deal with this shit again), there's something more to them.

As they continue on through these ruins they try to avoid touching the ruins but end up brushing against them a few times here and there causing flashbacks in between this little mini adventure, flashbacks such as:

-Cass picking out the engagement ring for Caine in the Modern AU

-Cass breaking protocol to bring Caine to her parent's gravestone one Frostwork (in tts universe)

-Cass looking into degrees to study to ensure a better future for herself and Caine (implies to be not long before buying the engagement ring, showing her coming out of the depression she was in before being tossed back into her universe)

-Cass in a worst depression than that of the Modern Universe, openly crying to her father as she begs the starts for a way back 'home'

Cass and Caine reach the center of the ruins. They fight of some form of Zhan Tiri's magic. Just as they're about to defeat the 'bad' a portal opens.

Cassandra doesn't know where it goes.

But she's not seen a portal in a long time.

Caine knows this. She doesn't know everything about Cassandra's parallel universe life but she knows the woman was in love, that she'd do anything and risk anything at a chance to get back there. So she rushed to try and stop Cassandra before Cassandra's even moved towards the portal.

-Caine's flashback: we see Caine and Cassandra late at night planning out their next anti-Zhan Tiri magic. Caine is looking over some of Cass' notes on laws to change. She's impressed. She's being nice. (not like the one we've been watching on this mission so far but more like modern AU.) Cass is acting cold. Caine asks Cass to come with her to her parent's grave and Cassandra says she's allowed to go alone now (we now know Caine has been pardoned and is working willingly with the gang). Caine says she'd like Cassandra to come. Cassandra is surprised but she recalls Caine's parent sin another universe and how kind they were and agrees. Caine then asks Cassandra out, Cassandra freeze, Caine admits she has feelings, opens up, you know the drill. Cassandra freaks out and tells her they will never be together before rushing off. (Eugene and Rapunzel know why Cassandra is like this, but Caine doesn't know that Cassandra's lover from another universe was herself. She thinks Caine sees her as so beneath her other universe lover when in reality she's too similar).

Back in the ruins, Caine comes to and Cass is already by the portal's side.

"Please... don't."

Cassandra looks back to Caine, tossing her the weapon needed to deactivate the magic. "I know you'll take care of this." And she steps through.

Possible end of first chapter?

Cassandra lands in a... dessert? Probably. But it's a military base and she's instantly surrounded. She raises her hands, lists her name, her nationality, her identification number. (she is unarmed, she knows the world she's in, she's lived her before, but she's still dressed in the leathers of her homeworld)

This is the other possible end of first chapter, just depends what feels right

She tries to make up an excuse on the spot. "There was an incident with a... plane, I was in. I fell. I don't know where I am."

"No planes can enter this air-space."

"I wasn't driving it."

"But you were on it."

"I was kidnapped?"

Needless to say, she isn't talking her way out of this one.

She is arrested. Probably interrogated.

After an undetermined amount of time, Gothel arrived at Cassandra's cell. (I need to check if she's alive.... I don't believe it was specified in the original fic but yeah, gotta check). She clearly has some sort of role to be allowed in here though Cass doesn't know what. She's being asked to confirm Cassandra is her daughter.

Gothel looks the girl over and asks to speak alone. She explains to Cassandra that while she was neglectful to her daughter (an understatement), she was sooo neglectful as to be unaware of having twins.

Cassandra, ever the smartass, is quick to point out "I can't remember my birth. I'm just repeating what I've been told"

"I know you know more than you're letting onto."

---

(from this point on in brainstorming, Cassandra is original universe and Cass is Modern universe)

Captain and Cass are eating breaking. There's banging on the door. Captain opens and uniformed men are asking to see his daughter. He is protective but Cass says they can come in. They want some blood for a test, they claim to do with Gothel. Cass asks lots of questions. They keep saying classified.

Cass asks if it's about Cassandra.

They say classified but they're not quite as fast.

After they leave Cass goes straight to Caine's place.

She knocks and there's no answer. She rings the doorbell but it's broken. She finally fishes otu her own spare keys (and struggled with them just like Caine did back in the first fic) and enters, calling out. She walks through the home, there are signs of Cassandra everywhere. It's been years but not much has changed. Other than it being messier. Less well kept. This moment is designed to look like depression, but then when Cass opens up Caine's office it's revealed she's hard at studying. Caine mumbles an apology for not hearing the door and the mess 'it's just soooo much work being both a history professor and trying to get a degree in science!' (obviously look up actual relevant degree)

Cass is like 'well, good news, you may not need that fancy degree because I have reason to believe someone may be back' (revealing Caine has since told her universe' Cass about Cassandra, though I'm not sure if it'll be stated, she didn't tell Cass until she had the science knowledge to back it up)

....... and that's most of what I've got so far.

Some other more generic stuff:

-Cassandra might have brought some magic into the modern universe and it's important she keeps it out of the wrong hands (aka Gothel)

-Cassandra might have also brought some illness from her universe that'll kill off Caine's dad (paralleling the none-modern AU, but also, there's a lot of guilt there, it wouldn't break Cassandra and Caine up, mostly because Caine was studying to try and research to bring her Cassandra back, she could have killed her own father this same way! but it'll certainly be an obstacle in their relationship and not a small one at that. Cassandra may live with Cass for some time)

-If going for the magic thing, I'm tempted to make it so the only way to keep the Modern Universe safe is someone has to take the magic back (don't ask why it can't just be tossed through a portal, someone has to go with it, I'll figure out why later), in which case, Cass (you know, modern Cass) I think would get a moment of self-sacricing, asking Cassandra if her world is really like int he fairytales and asking her to take care of her dad. To which Cassandra responds 'take care of mine'.

-The prologue is Cass, modern Cass, just LOVING the tangled universe, vibing with Raps and Eugene and none-modern Caine, having a solid relationship with Cap, telling him all about how in love Caine and Cassandra are! But of course, missing her own universe from time to time. The prologue is also Cassandra and Caine, finally, finally engaged, in love, happy... but missing her universe from time to time.

[platonicau]

incoherent mailee au braindump upcoming

an au where ty lee is part of a criminal gang in omashu where it's this bustling city and a world-famous trading city that's admired for it's innovations and stuff and every year dozens of businessmen come together from around the world celebrate their successes and share ideas or whatever and it's basically one bigass political ball sorta thing and u see there's many many precious items that are shown off during this time... so ty lee's put on a mission to infiltrate this event by posing as a trusted kyoshi warrior (lets just say they're the official protection force for the wealthy in this world) to get access to a bunch of top secret stuff (working on the details of this) and one day in her daily duties of being a kyoshi warrior she gets this one mission where she has to practice sparring w this one noblewoman... mai. rivalry ensues as mai's finally met someone her match but oh no they start falling in love w each other blah blah and on d-day. the day of the final ball. mai surprises the whole ball by asking a kyoshi warrior to dance rather than another typical ''upperclassman'' and ty lee is like oh god but my signal for this mission is literally in 30 minutes but i think im head over heels for her... one dance w the loml cant hurt ('it's the last time i'll probably see her like this... before she finds out i've been lying to her about my identity the whole time') and so they dance and alas the clock strikes 12am sharp and ty lee has to go and i havent figured out the rest yet