#self-centered fucking rant

[blanket-hugger]

i have wasted my day being upset and doing almost nothing. the IOF continues its slaughter in gaza. people in the professional environment (uni & research) are tiptoeing still when it comes to describing facts on the ground. i go to some marches & donate a bit & i sort of exist in a society trying not to be a shithead but that's it

had a review request today i accepted before noticing the affiliation of the authors (and the foreboding grant acknowledgment (non-military, but likely a slimy oligarch)). not sure what to do (sorta pure math paper, not sure i know a single person involved in an academic boycott of israel in my field) msg'ed some academia friends who are sympathetic, but still unclear what course of action i should/want to take.

i keep coming back to the infuriating discussions about israel i had with irl ppl b4 october 7th.

i keep coming back to some of the more visceral experiences tied to colonialism in my life (quaint maybe in the grand scheme of things, but still upsetting. holidays-with-parents in technically former or current colonies (one of the reasons i hate the concept of tourism) (easy way of getting that reactivated is to look at comments on videos on the situation in kanaky). whatever is going with international students in UK's HE. other things.)

not sure where i am going with this. i feel weak & somewhat isolated, which is normal ig. maybe i need to braindump some of this somewhere. idk if i want to braindump more specifics. i'll try to move on with my day for now and think all of this over at some later point. it's only 11pm

[atopvisenyashill]

Team Green fans hate Daemon saying the words "winter is coming" because he's right, it's the only thing the whole fandom can agree on lol I don't have a dog on this fight, but why do you think the Targaryens never did anything about the white walkers and the long night?

Yeah I mean the tgs hate everything related to the prophecy because they're incapable of using their brain cells and anything less than rhaenyra and daemon fucking next to jaehaerys' corpse was going to get them all in a tizzy about how hotd is ~excusing rhaenyra's actions. i'm sure everyone is deeply annoyed by the amount of times i have said "you're saying this but it's not true" but the thing about So Much of the fucking discourse is that people are inventing things that don't happen in the show to get mad at, and sorry, but That's Not True, and its hard to engage with this argument when they're going "SEE LOOK" about scenes that obviously and clearly depict the prophecy stuff in a negative light, except to say "that's not true." get a better argument, or better yet, actually engage with the themes and stop thinking with your fandom poisoned team brain!

As for "why did the targs not prepare for the long night" my answer is "because they're stupid" but that's because we don't have a lot of information on it. Show wise, there's no fucking reason why both Jaehaerys and Viserys weren't actively attempted to prepare. You could argue the king's road was decent preparation but it's very much half assed, because Jaehaerys has the ability to build a proper road with the dragons but puts a dirt road down instead. Alysanne also has the New Gift, but that is much more about undercutting the STarks than anything and note that Jaehaerys doesn't send more men to the night's watch, or settle people loyal to the crown there, they just let the new gift go to waste which actually hurt the realm in the long run wrt the Night's Watch. Viserys doesn't even do half measures! And I get Rhaenyra being in the capital is difficult due to the *waves hands* everything but she could have been doing other things to prepare that would also net her approval with the lords for the upcoming war and doesn't do any of that either. And none of them ever comments on this at all. It's super stupid and there's no reason for it.

When it comes to the books, we have even less information because the prophecy has only been hinted at there, it hasn't actually been given to us nor do we know which Targaryens found it. Likely Aegon + Rhaegar + Egg found something related to it but that's all we really know. Interestingly, all of these people prepared in dumb ways as well - again, Aegon does jack shit, and both Rhaegar and Egg become super weird about Targaryen Power, with Rhaegar doing insane nonsense to maintain Targaryen hegemony and Egg turning to blood magic to create dragons. Have to stress, these are both still on par with Jaehaerys, Viserys, and Rhaenyra for dumb decisions because like, populating the New Gift with supplies, strong soldiers, battle tested leaders, and fortifying the abandoned castles there and along the Wall are all massively more helpful than anything either of them did, but that makes sense - it's such a selfish, such a self involved way of looking at the conflict. Not about keeping everyone safe but about HOUSE TARGARYEN KEEPING EVERYONE SAFE. None of them can even conceive of a world where the Long Night happens and they aren't the ones to lead the charge against the Others. So none of them do anything at all that helps the realm, only what helps their own family.

so the tldr is because they are vain, selfish, and self centered when it comes to interpreting prophecies and in their conceptions of protection and power - but like, i can't see the lannisters or tyrells doing much better there either lol, and it is literally only stannis of all people that takes Jon's letter seriously so in general, i think whoever was in charge dynastically was always going to do a bad job. but also, it doesn't get much worse than what the targaryens did lmao.

[rxttenfish]

Asking because I’m extremely curious about this, how did MonProm’s writing get different over time? I remember you saying that the lore and characters feel different, and that it's missing sincere character interactions, too. I know almost nothing about the lore and I’ve only seen a few people mention the characters, so I’d be interested in a rundown of what aspects you think got worse in the series

I wouldn’t mind a very long response since I’m not that active in the fandom, I need to catch up on what happened

sorry for taking so long to answer this! i kinda waffled on it for a long bit, mainly because i started doubting myself again, and whether or not this was me simply overreacting or being tinted by nostalgia or simply being extremely picky and choosy in what i like (the last of which is true, i seldom get into fandoms at all for this reason and stay away from most popular media, but i wasn't sure if it applied here). i've posted about it already, but i'm in the middle of a psychotic episode where i can't feel a lot of pleasure to begin with + most things i do experience ending up solidly in the "very bad" category, so as you can imagine, i really didn't want to mislead and check that i was actually in objective reality.

as it is, this is also when a lot more screenshots started to be posted in the monster prom tag, and that helped me bridge the gap back into returning to the games themselves and feel like i was making a more accurate judgement. if you're one of those people who have been posting screenshots, i sincerely thank you, and i appreciated seeing you in the tag greatly.

for those not in the know — i've been in the monster prom fandom since it first released, prior to even the first additional ending to be added (the "Punch the sun" ending, and i recall the minor fandom drama that happened at that time due to it). my impression of monster prom is very much influenced by this, as what got me into the first game was the fact that the characters genuinely seemed to care for each other and were friends with each other (not merely tolerating each other's presences nor dressing it up, they sincerely thought of each other as friends and were open about that fact), on top of the wide variety of small details and statements that, if taken at face value, could create compounding complexity in the lives of each and every character and had wider implications for their lives.

no, they were not necessarily explored nor even necessarily "real", with so many conflicting events and statements, but i liked this too, because it meant a wider flexibility in what you could imagine, helping to create a more tailored experience for everyone who thought about these characters. this was what i liked about the early fandom too. what was baseline "canon" was so vague and minimal that you could have wildly different interpretations of the same characters' histories and relationships with each other. you would have radically different perspectives on what the world itself looked like, what it was like, that there wasn't really any wrong answers so long as their personalities remained the same. this is where you got the old headcanon of polly and liam being childhood friends who knew each other as humans, or that the world of monster prom was post-apocalypse where humanity itself had gone extinct or only existed in tiny pockets, or my personal headcanon that both monster and human society existed right next to each other and had minimal crossover for petty cultural reasons. this was also prior zoe-as-ro, and there were wildly different interpretations of zoe's personality, with most going for a far more disquieting creepy-cute than the deep nerd we got.

this is why you get stuff like the timeloop theory, where everyone is repeating the same weeks leading up to prom over and over, and are perhaps vaguely aware of it but broadly unconcerned. this is also why it felt like the joke that, the characters were still in high school but were all fully legal adults with most in their 20's, best landed, because it was absurd and strange and didn't quite make sense, but the world itself was inherently absurd and semi-malleable to begin with. realistically, i felt like everyone understood it was making fun of the trope of having adults play teenagers in american sitcoms and wildly casting outside the age range, but for more in-universe explanations it wasn't any different from the way that you would have a large, dramatic ending in which everything changed, but then you'd restart and everyone would be right back at the beginning with nothing different, or even having conflicting events in the same run. it was a dream-logic that fit with the tropes and, thus, diagetically made sense.

to be clear, i don't mind canon having a set, well, canon on which it refers back to itself. i don't mind expanding that or including more things which are set in stone. but there was a perceivable shift in how the games handled this over time, becoming a lot more... bitter, it felt, towards all of these different branching ideas and concepts that, yeah, the people making them knew wouldn't necessarily be "canon" because "canon" already liked to contradict itself so much. most people weren't even sold on any one idea, and there was a much greater sense of enjoying and appreciating all the varying ideas people would come up with even if you personally didn't share them. making the characters be out of character was the real crime, because then it didn't diagetically make sense in the same way, didn't wholly fit.

(again, this is not to say fanon didn't happen and characters weren't smoothed down into a simplified personality that fit these varying fan-interpretations instead of the game itself. certainly damien love/lust was just as bad as it had ever been, and everyone loved to mangle his character into a more stereotypical "bad boy with a heart of hold" all the time. but it certainly felt less set-in-stone about it than it does now, with any deviation from the norm being considered strange and odd and even broadly shunned from the wider fandom.)

all of this is setup for establishing what the writing, lore, and characters felt like in the earlier days. the characters were the strongest part, with their relationships to each other being equally as important. the lore played it fast and loose and was far less interested in setting anything in concrete because that wasn't the important part. the lore wasn't the important part, which was what made it all the more intoxicating to think about, all the more fun to play with.

montrip is easily the biggest offender when it comes to setting everything in all-or-nothing terms and demanding absolutism from the world. broadly i blame the hitchhiker conversations for the worst of it, but i think ultimately the way they handled the entire premise of the game is where this problem stems from. it's not really an exploration in the same sense that you might explore the first game, discovering different perspectives and different people with different relationships to each other. it's an exploration in the sense of a sequel that over-explains the monster, that takes the most boring option out of all those that were possible and floating around and settles on something that was blatant, obvious, typically rejected not because of how novel it is but how trite and par for the course it is in the rest of the genre.

yeah, okay. humans know nothing about monsters and there's a "monster dimension" that exists separately from the human dimension. there's no crossover between the two of them. of course there's a big grand-scale fight between the eldritch powers that zoe used to be a part of, from which not only are slayers the main organization against them, but also the merkingdom has some horse in this race too. it's an urge to make things so universal in explaining them, in revealing connecting threads which unite everything that's ever happened in here, that makes the worldbuilding and lore immediately much more boring than it ever was before.

and it didn't have to be this way! nothing in the first game contradicts any of this too explicitly (see the above, the first game loves to contradict itself), and i would even be happy if this was basically canon but never stated or confirmed to be the big overarching everything going on underneath it all. i believe you should probably know these things about any world that you create and have them in the back of your mind. the difference is that you can know these things and keep them in mind, even focusing on things where its very relevant, and still not reveal them. this is why you have lore bibles, after all. every horror writer knows exactly how their monster works and the full underlying reason for everything that happens, but that doesn't mean the audience will see it or possess this same information too, and leaving it intentionally obscure will make far better stories.

which, this is bad enough, but it wouldn't be the breaking point for me if this was all there was.

but the worst thing of all has to be the slow decay of the very same characters that sold me on this world, this lore, this game in the first place. monster prom is nothing without the characters in it. it's a dating sim, it has nothing but characters to get you to play, and liking these characters are the entire reason anyone would pick up monster prom in the first place.

and the first game pulls this off extremely well. it's all in the tagline: be your worst self. they are, indeed, all terrible people. yes, even that character that you just thought of right now. they all have points in the game where they commit atrocities, where they kill or hurt people, where they do inexcusable things that could not be ignored in a more serious setting.

but that's the point. i think there's something very powerful in creating a character who not only do you love and love their personality and the way they interact with the world, but who also are inapologetically terrible, and to have the humor and the charisma be so good that you don't get bogged down in the "this is awful". likewise, it never feels the urge to really go out of its way to justify what's going on. this is not to say theres no discussion of if someone "deserved it", but usually there's still the sense that the joke is on them, that this is still an extreme reaction specifically for comedy and not necessarily something that can be justified. you can have damien set leonard on fire and have it feel earned, without prompting the needed reaction of what it's actually like to watch someone burn to death.

this is what sets the prank masterz ending apart from the rest of the game, and really establishes it as the first real "bad ending". because nothing that you do or happens in the prank masterz ending is any different from anything else that happens in any other run. you summon evil beings from other dimensions as a throwaway gag on how visiting one location raises your stats. you kill other people and damn them to terrible fates. you watch as body horror happens. the only difference is that, in the prank masterz ending, the laugh track doesn't play.

the rest of the game and the writing echoes this philosophy, this careful interplay of tropes that keeps everything tongue in cheek and yet sincere enough to make sure emotional beats still land when they're needed. the characters feel true to themselves and their own emotions, even when the world is extreme and excessive, when everything else runs on comedy logic.

this is also what i noticed failing first as time went on.

like i said, fanon has always existed and there's always been very specific ideas as to what characters are like in the same way fanon always flattens down characters into the same tropes over and over. scott is stupid and innocent and doesn't know what sex is. damien is violent and hot and too cool for anyone else. miranda is the idiot girl character. repeat over and over and over until you get sick of it.

but it's been an issue as time has crept on that canon has started to approach fanon and began to merge with it. now, scott is so innocent that he can't even curse. polly starts being mean to her friends and saying things that would be very hurtful to hear. the merkingdom isn't really super evil and fucked up, it's just miranda that's like that. they become simpler, easier to digest, streamlined for social media posts and mass-sharing. they become less and less subversions of existing tropes and moreso just another example of them, something else to add to the collection, not their own individual stories.

even further from this, what more complex traits they had are now stated and not shown. polly is stated to be smart and clever in a way that her party girl persona doesn't imply and to be sincerely rather down to earth with the people she cares about, but we seldom ever see this anymore unless its the game specifically trying to make a point about it, in which case it won't let her do anything that implies cleverness and moreso will just outline it in the narration. vera is stated to care for people in a very genuine and heartfelt way, but seldom will get a chance to do so, and every opportunity for her to do so to their faces is missed while she will just outright state it later. it does not feel consistent, it does not feel like any of these are intended reads of their actions. it feels like the devs have something they want to do but no idea on how to actually do so. and forget it if you want these traits to manifest in small ways that show up in unrelated moments and scenes.

the dialogue becomes harder and harder to tell between each speaker, if you are just looking at what's said and not at the pictures attached to it. the characters' distinct voices have been eroded away, so that they speak more and more like each other, relaying the same terms and ideas in the same words. perspective becomes a suggestion, instead of a must.

this is something that started back in monster camp too, as all of the endings in that game felt ultimately the same as every other ending. it's very hard to place or define the full reason why, why there feels like there's no emotional stakes nor investment, why everything feels moreso like selecting different coats of paint and trying to find all the different ending pictures rather than being interested in exploring the characters as characters.

stranger yet, the series that started with the tagline of "be your worst self" has experienced a kind of... softening, for lack of a better word? what i mentioned about being able to handle the balance between terrible people who do terrible things and the light tone of the game starts to change, as abruptly the same characters who were down with violent murder in the first game start to lose their nerve, acting more and more on more typical morality. it's one of those things that feels like it's starting to damage the tone, as abruptly it's not as absurd as it used to be, demands less suspension of disbelief which could buffer and support the rest of the setting on it. there's even a part in one of the endings in montrip which involves current-polly and current-scott looking back on their monprom selves and reacting in horror at how violent and careless their pranks are, in a way that fundamentally felt like it was undercutting and disparaging all the things that felt fun and made monprom what it was.

which is odd, really, because more and more i feel like the characters in these games like each other less and less. the friendships and genuine enjoyment of each others company that brought me to this game in the first place has gone. now they don't mention each other as much, don't care for each other's feelings and reactions as much, aren't as willing to support each other. they are more and more found on their own, relied on their own, seem to seek out contact and interaction with their own friends less and less. it feels like they're all separating out into their own worlds, but also feels like they wouldn't willingly want to interact with each other if they weren't already forced together by some other outside contrivance.

if anything, i'd compare it to every other dating sim out there, where you, the player, are the most important person in these characters' lives, and they only feel ambivalent or antagonistic towards every other character. which, again, is not why i picked up monster prom or why i liked it so much in the first place.

and it's because of this that it feels like the current state of the series has to focus on its increasingly weak worldbuilding and lore, trying to form a more serious foundation without character relationships being so tightly bound together, without the characters themselves being more developed and rich, without an aspect of absurd humor to rely on.

more and more i've noticed monprom has to rely on referencing other series to make itself funny and create humor, which, again, it's always done. it was just easier to ignore back then, if you didn't know what was being referenced, because there was always more going on in the exact same scene to bolster it and give context clues as to the setup and punchline at play. it feels like the current games are much more dependent on you knowing pop culture references in order to have any fun with it, and i'm someone who, again, is very picky in what i like or what i'll seek out. i'm not interested in a stream of references about other things that i would much rather be doing than playing through a game that feels like it hates that i like it at all, when i could, again, just be engaging with the thing that takes itself seriously and knows what it wants.

[imminent-danger-came]

YOU think MK is a selfless forgiving good boi mc. I think he's self-centered, but that doesn't devalue the good deeds that happen as a result. We are not the same

[racke7]

I've been reading through the BNHA-archives lately, and holy fuck am I pissed about how some of these fuckers tag shit.

They make wholesale crossovers and don't tag the crossover-fandom.

Saw one that had "warning noncon" in the summary but "no archive warnings apply" in the fucking tags.

They keep making soul-mate AUs without tagging them as soul-mate AUs.

Just... I wanna push them down the fucking stairs. Why. Why are you stupid fucking assholes like this?

[jimmythejiver]

Listening to my own music (random 80s-90s songs, now onto Bowie albums because it's been nine years) for the first time in ever because I can't sleep, don't wanna doomscroll and to prepare me for a stressful, sleep deprived day out with only good brother keeping this ship running, taking morbid grandma to doctors, while cousin will inevitably be insufferable, boastful, argumentive over stupid shit and just generally unhelpful...

[cameoutstruggling93]

Does anyone else ever feel feeling like throwing things at their friends?

[yourbestdream]

I generally assume that the phrase "blood boiling" to describe anger is just metaphor and all that but then I get really genuinely angry about something and I remember that it is not.

[thebookishwallflower]

Here’s a story from how stuff’s going for me rn

Person A: male doctors suck, I went to a female doctor and when I mentioned I’m starting to get heavy periods she immediately offered me a new med that’s been really helpful to people, I can’t wait to try it

Person A: but I mentioned the same problem to a male doctor a bit ago and he just blew it off, said that’s how it it and that I need to just get used to it, doesn’t take me seriously

Also Person A: Anyway, I don’t think you should keep trying all those different medications to fix your problems, medication can’t just fix everything, you should do other things instead, fix your sleep, exercise

Me, sitting here with chronic pain and a whole slew of mental illnesses that make it hard to function in day-to-day life: bitch what.

(I understand other attempts need to be made in conjunction with meds, I do plenty of other things, they know this. They actively try and dissuade me from taking new meds or continuing on ones that I’m on when they don’t ‘fix’ my problems. I’m getting really tired of this.

They are valid for saying fuck male doctors who don’t take women seriously, they are not valid in having that same energy towards other people. Their problems are real, I’m glad they are getting this med to make life easier. My problems are real too, though.)

[sophiagrimes]

when i remember

[haruchiyos]

^ if you voted against the rights of others (or even yourselves, which is insane to me) kindly block. I do not want you here!

hey, reminder that CHOOSING not to get political or be vocal about politics is a privilege so many people do not have and which people will directly suffer as a result of. you are prioritizing your personal peace over the lives of marginalized and disadvantaged people. fuck republicans, fuck trump, and fuck anyone whose silence and complacency contributed to the results of this election. that's all!

[milocelium]

if your singular goal in life is to be rich and own a business in which other people have to work while you sit in your million dollar house and own 5 cars i genuinely think you are scum of this planet and contribute nothing but suffering and inequality to society

[iserlohnfortress]

no you can't actually tell whether the person you're talking to contains multitudes or is just one-note because surprise! you're not privy to a person's innermost thoughts, most of which they might never speak aloud to another person! you think you're the most complex bitch around because you know what you think, but you seem incapable or just uninterested in extending that same belief towards others

[wlwmedarda]

I'm honestly just looking to rant and this might be long depending on how fast I get irritated the more I type so if this isn't coherent or well written I apologize in advance. Since it looks like Ambessa will take on a more antagonistic role in arcane season two, I would like to unpack the fandom's antiblackness that you guys are either blind to or aware and too pussy to call it out as my gut is telling me it's gonna increase and if no one is gonna start the difficult conversation then I sure as hell will.

Sevika:

Mel:

Starting off strong with the definition of "you guys want complex female characters but can't even handle her". Mel Medarda is in quite the predicament seeing how she's morally grey, a black woman, AND "gets in the way" of a mlm ship so she was kinda screwed from the start. A cunning politician disowned for her pacifism who acts as a sort of bridge to Noxus' slow introduction, and is THE ONLY CHARACTER IN THE SEASON 1 MAIN CAST SPECIFICALLY CREATED FOR THE SHOW. She's treated like satan incarnate or a Jezebel (highly suggest looking into that if you don't know what that is), GOOD character analysis is rare, and when she is talked about positively, it's so often chalked up to appearances that I'd rather yall not talk about her at all. Oh you love Mel? Then can we talk about her relationship with her mother? Unpack her dynamic with Jayce? Maybe more fanworks centered around her? I've seen yall's fake asses dropping the shittiest fucking takes about her only to turn around and gush over how pretty she is, and yall think you're slick about it and you're not. I would say I prefer the ones who are loud and proud about their hatred but that'd be a lie, they're two cheeks on the same ass; annoying and couldn't give a decent break down of her character if a gun was pointed at they head even she's perfect to dissect. I could talk about her more but we'd be here all day and so many black women even from outside the fanbase have already talked about yall so there's no need for me to add on 🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️.

Quick question, have you guys ever tried to talk about her in a non sexual way? Yes, Sevika is undeniably sexy and you could argue that true stans of hers talk about her outside of horny time, but a good half of the fandom is a different story. In a similar case to Mel's, deep dives into her character are rare to find which is crazy when she acts as Zaun's own "kingmaker". She's loyal to her city and the cause, never to a specific person and will not hesitate to betray you. She could be your right hand man one day, and the next she might find a better kingpin to follow and stab you in the back like it all meant nothing. "Were you tempted?" "Not for a worm like him". Simple and subtle and probably my favorite Sevika scene; she comes to realize Silco is no longer the best leader for Zaun, but he's as good as it gets for now and so she sticks by him. I remember a YouTube comment breaking down how she's essentially the quintessential Zaun: a brute warrior molded by her environment, who defied Vander's peaceful ways and embraced Silco's cruelty. Her mindset and goal is interesting and you'd think it'd result in some fascinating meta or exploration of her upbringing when we got a hint that she potentially has some daddy issues right? Obviously, but what do we get instead? White sapphics treating her like nothing more than a sexual object. How delightful!

Ekko:

This might partially be Riot's fault because — and I hate to sound like a league lore nerd — Ekko is quite underdeveloped compared to the richer origins of his former pre arcane self, but I'm gonna hold off on that till the season finale to see how they handle him. Anyways, at this point the fandom clearly sees him as Jinx's trophy husband. When you talk about him, she is brought into the convo 90% of the time. That's exactly why I prefer black timebomb shippers over the nonblack ones because I trust they actually love Ekko as a character on his own. Even though I have my complaints regarding how's been written so far, I still know he's too good to be reduced to Jinx's loverboy. He fights and cares for his city, the only character that you can confidently say is pure of heart, and is the revolutionary leader Zaun really needs. He's just as smart as Jinx too, he is literally going to create TIME TRAVEL. Why does no one wanna talk about that? Can we be excited for his character development and arc not just for the timebomb scenes you'll get out of it?

Ambessa:

Can't even deny this woman is awful but her presence on screen enthralled me after a couple of rewatches and I also love bad mothers in media so I've settled on a love/hate relationship. Yes, she's definitely gonna have some influence on Caitlyn, which makes sense since she has now lost her mother; she's vulnerable and as we have seen, naive. She's practically free real estate for Ambessa. My recent worry though has been how the fandom seems to be willing to put all of Caitlyn's actions on her as if Cait isn't a grown ass woman who can make her own decisions. Of course being grown doesn't mean you're immune to manipulation, but I've seen some Silco and Jinx comparisons and it is NOT the same. Mind you we haven't even seen the first three episodes; we don't know how far Ambessa's manipulation is going to go and we can't really tell what the dynamic is gonna be like based off of clips and trailers that are likely shown out of context on purpose to throw people off. I'll never defend her actions, hell I'll join in on the lashings, but my black ass is also not gonna sit here and let yall talk about her weirdly or pin all of this on her.

Some might say I'm overthinking this, but I've been here since November 2021 and have sat back and observed for 2 years. You don't have to write deep, philosophical conversations 24/7, I'm sure it's not all in bad faith and I won't act like I don't thirst over Sevika or marvel at Mel's beauty. I'm not saying you have to like these characters and that you're racist if you don't. My frustration comes from the lack of nuanced conversations and hypocritical opinions surrounding black characters in this show. When you try to say something about this, you're hit with excuses; it reminds me of how man obsessed fujoshis act when they're questioned for not giving two fucks about female characters. They're either reduced to one character trait, only admired for their looks, or only discussed when it's about the white character they're connected to. Do NOT under ANY circumstance be black and morally ambiguous, you WILL be held to higher moral standards than everyone's wittle blorbos who can do wrong and are defended from all sides when you dare to take the rose colored stan glasses off and criticize them. What's really ridiculous is you hear the "complex characters" bullshit every two to three business days and some of you have the nerve to boast about this series being diverse while simultaneously ignoring the complexities in the characters of color. This is the main reason I took a step back and with season two around the corner I thought "Hey, maybe it'll be better this time!" and it was a mistake. Good to know yall still have an underlying racism problem you don't wanna address but with some extra classism thrown in. "What will we do once Arcane ends?" hopefully get a job, touch some grass, and reflect. Lord knows yall need it. The faster yall sizzle out the better. I'm done that's all I have to say lol goodnight 👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽.

[duhhpadfoot]

Frustratingly Ours

poly!marauders + lily x reader | Remus centered | Academic Rivals

A/N: Okay so I've decided to say fuck it and post the version of this fic I originally had planned, because why not put more pressure on myself? I'll update both versions. this first part has really minor changes to frustratingly yours

[2.4k words]

CW: discussion of acceptance and discovering ones sexual orientation, childhood acquaintences to academic rivals to...lovers, cursing, it'll be a reaaal slowburn, rem and reader at each others throat, remus might seem a bit ooc but you'll understand why, remus centered story

stunning witchy dividers by @saradika-graphics

Part 2 (to come)

Remus liked to believe he enjoyed keeping his head down, ignoring the fact that he himself was a part of the infamous marauders and did participate in pranks from time-to-time. Along with the fact that he was dating said marauders and a fiery redheaded girl, he still liked to believe he kept out of trouble (for the most part and the right reasons). He liked to believe it, it didn't mean it was the truth. If someone asked him to describe some of his traits, he'd be certain to tell them he was a calm and… a somewhat responsible guy, definitely not the first one to lose his temper. He liked to think he was above childish provocations. Unlike his boyfriends.

He laughed at Sirius and James' antics, despite being the butt of the joke. Patiently listened to Lily's rants. Explained coursework to his fellow classmates even when it seemed like the most mind numbing of subjects. And was always the last one to raise his voice during discussions. 

Now if someone were to ask him to describe himself after interacting with you?

He'd answer the same. Because, well, he was a prideful lion was he not?

And then those around him would raise their eyebrows in utter bewilderment. 

You were the only one who made him feel like he was a breath away from self admitting himself into St. Mungo's. The one who made him raise his voice at the littlest things, resort to childish antics and drive Lily mad with his rants about you. 

Y/N Y/LN.

His lovers' best friend and lately, much to his grumbling, their crush. And his —he'd never admit this to her, give her the dignity of acknowledging her as someone respectable enough to be competing with him— academic rival. 

Yes, Lily sometimes did get better scores than they both did. James got the handle on a charm quicker than anybody in his house. And Sirius did achieve O's on his schoolwork without much effort. 

But that did not matter because they weren't you. The one who plagued his mind. Whose name was always on the tip of his tongue.

He was proud of them, encouraged them and commemorated them. 

The same could not be said about you. 

You were friends during your first year at Hogwarts… and then things got to the point in which they were now.

"I did not cheat!" You whisper harshly across from one of the library's tables. 

A dark chuckle comes out from his lips as his eyes narrow to slits and focus on you. "I think I recall our Defence Against Dark Arts Professor rather clearly, we weren't supposed to use curses on one another."

The rest of your group don't even lift their heads from their work, as this is normal when it comes to you two. It became so common they could probably dedicate a time in their schedule for whenever you'd bicker, argue or shout at each other. It would be weird for a day to go by without some type of exchange between the two. "I'm glad to know your stupidity hasn't affected your memory loss seeing as our lesson was a couple of hours ago. And as I've said" You drawl lazily, although the tightening of your fingers around your quill betrays the way you actually feel "I didn't use curses." 

You hear more than see him scoff since you won't lift your head to meet his eyes. 

"I did not curse you, if you'd get your head out of your arse you'd have heard me when I said I created a—" Remus doesn't even blink at the aggression. "Also known as cheating." He sneers. "Or you're just barking mad and have great difficulty admitting that I'm better at duelling than you are."

That causes Sirius and James to abruptly stop their whispering and Lily to put down her book, all of them now tensely keeping their eyes on you both.

The banter was normal, once one of you mentioned you were better than the other at anything? Specifically a subject, an intellectual subject? All hell broke loose, there was no knowing where things would go. 

"Well of course, when one uses means that aren't following the rules then obviously it's much easier to defeat their opponent." "How many times am I supposed to tell you that I used a jinx that I've created?" Your voice finally starts to rise in volume. Really shocking that you've been able to control yourself for so long. "The same one you won't let me explain since you always end up interrupting-"

"I suppose until you admit that what you've done was against the rules." He raises his voice to meet yours in volume. 

The other three students' heads turn, following your banter as if they were watching a really intense quidditch match, not trying to diffuse the situation already knowing the outcome would be the same. 

"Shhh!" Madam Pince whispers fall on deaf ears as both of you only seem to get more and more agitated with your argument. 

"Just because I best you does not mean I cheated." "I'll remember that for future reference." "Please do! Are you finally admitting that you already expect me to win our next duels?" 

"Oh, please, this is embarrassing." He scoffs

"Okay, you know what, let's do a redo right now, and I'll be nice and not even use my jinx since you're so put off by it." You stand up abruptly, push your chair out, letting it topple to the floor in your haste to prove him wrong. Causing Madam Pince to yell in shock. "And will probably never be able to shield it." 

Remus barks out a condescending laugh, quickly standing up to meet you. "Yes. Let's." Escapes his gritted teeth.

James' eyes widen in shock that his boyfriend, his kind, collected and put together boyfriend, would actually pull out his wand in the middle of the library, his sacred place. Sirius just grins at the situation, even after years of this kind of interaction, still highly amused that two of the calmest people he knows could get so violent when together. "Remus, love—" Lily tries to reason. "Expelliarmus" He smugly says quickly as you were going off about something. Your wand flying across the table and into the palm of his waiting hand. 

"You were saying?" He lifts his eyebrow at you. 

You don't even think before hurling your tome right at his head. 

That's how two of Hogwarts' brightest were forbidden to study in the library at the same time. 

And how Remus ended up with a purple eye. 

McGonagall strides across the classroom returning her student's latest graded parchment. She could just use the locomoter spell to retrieve all of them at once, but Y/N along a few of her housemates suspect the professor enjoys the suspense. Some groan or silently cheer as they receive their work back, while others anxiously await for theirs. McGonagall hands Lily's with a small smile on her face. 

The witch beams at her parchment. The one that took her a while to put together and feels the need, the pride of showing it off to her loved ones. Wishing to be a part of a little healthy competition.

“I told you guys this was an easy subject.” She says smugly while showing off the O on the top corner of her parchment. 

“Well done love, congrats!” Remus murmurs half distractedly, pressing a quick peck to her lips, while keeping an eye as the Professor makes her way towards your side of the classroom. 

Lily, a bit miffed at the lack of competition or ambition, brags, a bit out of character, but still “I bet I've done better than you did.” “Wouldn't be surprised, a bright witch as yourself” Remus gives her a bright smile, the words weren't even out of his mouth when he turned his head back to the front, eyes already back to tracking their professor. 

Not getting the reaction she'd wished for, she heads toward the other witch always competing with her boyfriend when it comes to grades. Practically skipping towards you, she doesn’t even get the chance to come up with a remark as you already interrupt her with a blinding smile that normally would make her blush by being the focus of your attention. “Another O Lily?” “Yes.” The redhead huffs and her shoulders slump with disappointment, really not the reaction you'd expect from someone that just got the perfect grade on an assignment that took them some time to put together. 

“Congrats dove, wouldn't expect anything less from you.” Lily just turns around and goes back to her seat next to James, who squeezes her shoulders trying to hold back his laughter at the situation, but being betrayed by his shaking shoulders. Which only angers his girlfriend even more. 

Professor McGonagall (along with any other Hogwarts instructor) already knows what to expect from a certain pair of gryffindors, purposely dragging out their bickering and anxiety leaving their scrolls towards the end of the pile. 

Lily, Sirius and James all sit in attention along with the rest of the class - well except for you as you try to pretend you don't care what his grade might be -  as their professor hands out Remus' parchment back to him. 

He beams smugly, eyes immediately finding yours –which seem to have gone against your orders and fixed themselves towards the lanky boy –he simply rests his head on the palm of his hands and with the other hand, joins his index finger to his thumb, forming the circular shape of an “O”. Knowing you were watching, which just aggravates you more. McGonagall distributes a couple more parchments and finally (actually) heads towards you, already letting out a small sigh, knowing the chaos that might descend her classroom like a storm. 

Your knees won’t stop bouncing, I mean, of course you know you did well, you just hope you did better than he did. That’s all that really matters. 

The Professor returns your scroll, trying to hold back her smile. Your eyes quickly scan the parchment. Your entire posture shifts as if you were sitting on a throne and not an old squeaky chair. Remus shoulders already tensing, having come to learn your body language. And Lily rolls her eyes at the fact that you didn't even open your mouth and have already garnered a bigger reaction than she did with her arrogant words. You don't even need to try hard to make eye contact with Remus, already expecting his eyes to be on you, the same way yours were upon him. 

You know your scroll got less adjustments from the Transfiguration Professor than his did, having heard him (purposely and) loudly commenting to his lovers. Your mouth forms your well practised Remus irking condescending smirk, sprawled on your chair you lazily imitate his earlier actions, joining you index finger to your thumb. 

He huffs and rolls his eyes, while muttering a “Well played". 

Lily was watching the interaction like every other student and professor in their class, and against her wishes a small smile crept onto her face, she slightly shook her head, quite glad that either of you took her up on her teasing. This was your game, your competition, even if either of you would never verbally acknowledge it, you still acted upon it.  

She had always had a soft spot for you, the two of you had been inseparable since you'd sat at the same train compartment on your first trip to Hogwarts and later on placed in the same room. You'd heard her complain about James' teasing back in their second year, and later on about Sirius' and James' outrageously embarrassing advances. Which only got worse when she started developing a small crush on the tall and more reserved member of their friend group.

You'd helped her realise that it was okay for her to have feelings for more than one wizard at the same time. That if the three of them made her happy, then there was no reason she should be ashamed, especially if all of them were feeling the same way. And in the midst of all this, you'd been the one to make her realise that maybe she was attracted to witches as well. She thought back to both of your first kiss shared behind closed bed drapes late at night, her bed full of scattered Witch Weekly editions along with chocolate frog boxes and sticky fingers from your stock of hidden sweets, which you absolutely hate to share, but you'd pulled out just to help console her feelings about the boys.

You both were just trying to help each other out, that's what each of you convinced yourselves that night, full of giggling, sighing and pointing at famous wizards on magazines. You were one of the few witches she didn't mind being silly with and she was well aware you were attempting to lighten her mood a bit, distract her from all of her confusing feelings and anxieties.

After a few more minutes of horsing around, you'd just turned to her with a twinkle in your eye, like you couldn't settle with this being a night that she was already sure she'd never forget, you had to turn it into one that would change her life.

And suggested "let's just get it out of the way, see what the fuss is all about, this way you wouldn't have another worry added to the long list of things I have no doubt you've already created to obsess over, you know, with you being your rule abiding and dedicated self getting into a relationship with more than one bloke." All this with a toothy smile on your lips. She didn't even realise at the time that she was already leaning in, and she definitely wasn't expecting that she'd actually enjoy kissing her best friend. And understand what the fuss was all about.

You always fought her battles even when she said there was no need, you fitted right in with the marauders never missing a joke or the possibility of teasing one of them. You cheered for them and went out of your way to be there for them. You were always there for the people you cared for. You always tried to ensure people only saw the best version of yourself. She and her other two boyfriends couldn't help but fall for you. 

Remus had gotten much better with his insecurity, caused by his furry problem, but there were times that it still dominated the way he acted. Mostly keeping to himself, needing to prove that he was just as good as any wizard without his affliction, he sometimes took himself too seriously. You helped with that, you pushed him, made him lose some of the obsessive hold he had over having to control everything. Which somehow, just made you even more special to Lily. 

It saddened her, James and Sirius that the both of you couldn't see past this rivalry of yours that you'd obviously be a perfect addition to their group. Not that you already weren't a part of it, but romantically. 

So if this competition of yours made the two of you interact, come truly alive and lose the control that both of you tried so hard to prove to everyone that you had a handle on everything, she was happy. 

Maybe this would be the way that the both of you would finally stop being prats and would realise that Y/N was meant to be a part of their group. That you and Remus were destined to be together, to love each other and to push each other. 

It was so obvious this was all a farce for how you actually felt for one another. 

You guys were each other's drive to not settle. So she wouldn't get in the middle of this. 

A small smirk grows on her face as the both of you (predictably) fell into a small battle of wits. She nods to herself, now deciding she'd even help provoking her crush and boyfriend into these situations. It's not her fault this was the only way you'd interact for more than a couple of minutes. James, who was sitting on the desk besides her, was looking at her with an arched brow, recognising the scheming look on his lover's face. Which only made Lily smile more. 

She couldn't wait for when their well practised restraint finally snapped. 

A/N so this is my first fanfiction for the marauders fandom (along with frustratingly yours, but this was the version I was working on before). Feedback and comments are much appreciated :)

[p0rk-guts]

Yapping about The Stolas Animation™️ everyone's been in a tizzy about because this is MY blog and I get to treat it like my personal diary.

Not going into the surrounding drama of the video because i hate drama and it's always a fucking headache. I'm gonna talk about the content of the animation, the song, and my interpretation of them together!!! (Contains discussions of suicide. Obviously)

First off. THE ANIMATION IS AMAZING. But you already knew that. The portrayal of Stolas we see for the first two thirds of it is clearly something dissimilar to his portrayal throughout the entire series thus far—much more callous and cold than playful and cheeky like we knew him to be—so to me it seemed like a portrayal of how Blitz sees Stolas and how he thinks Stolas truly felt of feels about him. Especially since each of those scenes was interjected with clips of Blitzo staggering through that white empty mind scape with the golden feathers like we saw when he was tripping and imagining him in truth seekers.

I also love how the lyrics so perfectly line up to what's happening—"who's gonna rescue you when you're lost at sea? Who's gonna love you if it isn't me?" These lyrics precede clips where Moxxie and Millie— who HAVE rescued him and who WILL love him even if Stolas won't— showing us how Blitz is so deep in his self hatred that he can't even see that despite thinking he isn't loved or worthy of loving that he IS.

The clips of Stolas are more than just Blitz's mind fucking with him though, for us we see just how ironic it is that Stolas could be saying any of this in the FIRST place. "Who's gonna rescue you when you're lost at sea": Stolas NEVER rescued Blitz in any way! (Headcanon here but) Stolas' obsessive yearning for him just made Blitz mirror those feelings of affection in late season 2 (because there were NO signs of Blitz reciprocating or feeling anything other than disdain and ANNOYANCE for Stolas initially)! He wanted that equally returned love and not to once again miss expectations and miss what he saw as his fleeting chance for love!

Anyways anyways ranted and got off topic. If anything Blitz was always the one rescuing Stolas. I also think it's interesting that that lyric fell on a clip of Stolas mocking at one of the goetia parties despite the fact that he was always miserable at them. You could even say that Blitz trying to steal the book -> their night together -> Stolas divorcing Stella was some roundabout instance of Blitz "rescuing" Stolas from his loveless marriage. But that's more of a crazy take I think Stolas would have floating around in his head

And my FAVORITE line of the animatic (and probably the whole song)— "And who's gonna love you if it isn't me?". Obviously. Like we said. He has love surrounding him already! Even in Loona too I guess! Pairing this lyric with Stella wrapped around his arm looking withdrawn while he stands front and center not even acknowledging her?? From the fictitious Blitz perspective we're shown, I saw this as Blitz seeing himself as an unnecessary stain in Stolas' perfect pristine life. Technically, he's married, or was (does Blitz even know they're divorced??? Lol I don't remember), and his entire presence just detracts from this fictitious image of high class excellence and composure he had.

Meanwhile, Stolas did try to maintain their marriage the best he could, but he never loved Stella at every point in the story we've seen so far he doesn't consider her at all. Tbf, she's pretty abusive and insane, but he really did jump through hoops to excuse his cheating and later on didn't even consider how her presence in Octavia's life could affect her (these are all tied to greater issues with the show ignoring Stella's existence but I digress).

Stella is just a prop in this image. She was just a tool for Paimon to get Stolas to produce an heir and keep the goetia conveyor belt moving, and likely even a tool to her own (largely) absent family so she could be used to grow familial wealth and status. Beyond her "liking to torment him", she's never shown to have ANY other feelings about. Anything really. Other than what, liking parties? Her reserved portrayal alludes to her having more feelings and thoughts about everything happening around her but whether it's to keep up appearances or to deny her own emotions, she stifles it all. 100% get how everyone's been saying her .2 seconds of screentime here characterize her more than the entire show does.

Then we switch gears to the real Stolas, getting dressed in something very similar to Paimon's clothes (which someone else pointed out I did NAWT notice that on my own). I have two (ish) theories on what this was about but I'm not sold on them so feel free to tell me what you think this was all about.

Maybe Stolas was putting the clothes on for some unrelated event—some goetian responsibility he forgot he was supposed to attend to— or maybe it was something like him reminiscing on all he's lost after the divorce and the trial (if this takes place post trial. Not sure). One of these maybe, or he got dressed up specifically for his suicide. I could see his romantic and fanciful nature driving him to do something like that.

(didn't have much to say on the portraits around him all turning into Blitz. It's a pretty straightforward showing of his mental decline and destructive obsession. Overall fantastic detail I missed on the first watch)

Then, when he kills himself, he chose to do it in the middle of the street, directly across from and FACING I.M.P.'s place of residence. Which is. Insane to me. Placing it there felt so purposeful with the light glinting off of the horns on the building. Was it meant to be a "look what you made me do" type deal? Some sort of final "fuck you" for all Blitz had done ("""making""" Stolas love him and then not reciprocating)? A last desperate attempt to be seen and acknowledged?

Well who knows fr but that's all my analysis for the animation. Dwinni ate down idc. This was a peak fandom event honestly. But yeah uh what do YOU 🫵🏾 think