#nerd int spellcasters

[raymuratadraws]

[roserysttrpggarden]

Psion Class UA review

Hi there~!

So, just sixdays ago as of the time of writing this, WOTC has put out a brand new UA for the new Psion class, D&D 5th-editions first new class since the Artificer released all the way back in 2019 (and was later reprinted in tasha's). For those familiar with 5e history at all, this is not the first time WOTC has attempted a psionic class, as back in 2014's UA they tested (and subsequently scrapped) the Mystic class from 2015 to 2017, i'm glad WOTC has decided to give a psionics class another go around, as I believe there's so much to the psionic concept that two subclasses and a couple of spells/feats can't accomplish on their own, but how does the new Psion fair?

I'm going to give my unfiltered thoughts on everything in this document so far, from the Psion base class, the subclasses, the spells and the feats. Strap in, cause this is going to be a long post, so I hope you don't mind listening to a nerd ramble for however long this ends up being.

The Base Class

Unlike the Mystic before, the psion is a full caster similar to the likes of sorccerer, druid and wizard, thus it's base features are similar to the listed classes: d6 hit die, Int as the focus ability score, INT and WIS save proficient, simple weapon proficiency (with no armor training). Nothing groundbreaking if you've played a 5e caster before.

The first feature the Psion gets is spellcasting, which, is exactly the same as the other full caster thus-far, with the added ability to ignore verbal and material components on any psion spell it casts, unless the spell has a material component it consumes or that has a GP cost, while not a massive benefit, it is thematic for a Psion, so I like it. The spell list itself also rather solid, with lots of control/utility options such as Command, Sleep, Hideous Laughter, Hold Person, Invisibility, Mirror Image, Fear, Fly and more, it feels like a solid mix of the bard and sorccerer's spell list.

Also at level 1 it gets the Psionic Power feature, it gains four d6 Psychic energy dice (similar to the Psi-warrior or soul knife) which it can spend on two abilities at this level: Telekinetic Propel and Telepathic Connection, the number of dice, as well as the size of the dice increase as you gain levels in Psion. Both of these are essentially better versions of the Telekinetic and Telepathic feats, still not bad to have.

At 2nd-level the Psion gains two features, firstly, the psion gains access to disciplines, which i'll cover after wrapping up the base class, you gain two disciplines at this level and gain more as you level up, think of the disciplines as essentially maneuvers you can spend your energy dice on. Also at this level you gain the Psionic mode feature where, as a Bonus action, you can enter either and Attack or Defense mode for one minute, twice per long rest. Attack mode allows any attack roll, spell or psion feature you use to ignore resistance to Psychic damage and, when you roll for damage with a Psion spell, you can spend an energy die to rereoll a number of damage dice equal to your Int modifiier, meanwhile, Defense mode grants you resistance to Psychic damage and allows you to, as a Reaction to failing an INT, WIS or CHA save to roll a energy die, adding it to the total. Aside from the boring name, I like this feature a lot, it's usefulness varies depending on how often you're dealing with Psychic damage (much less creatures resistant to it), but for the situations you do, it's alright.

After getting your psion subclass and feat, Psionic restoration is basically the same as Font of Inspiration on the bard. Psionic Surge is an interesting feature that I have some thoughts on, first off, I like the idea of the psion using hit point dice, there's so much fiction about psions hurting themselves to unleash their powers, and I think it accomplishes the idea very nicely, however, I also feel its rather late to introduce hit point dice mechanics, but besides that gripe, its an alright feature. To finish off the Psion base features, Enkindled Lifeforce is an alright capstone, spending two additional hit dice to add two energy die to a psion feature is decent, though unless you were running low on energy dice, i'm not sure how often you'll end up using this feature, but hey, it's still better than the ranger capstone!

Final Thoughts. Well, it sure is a spellcaster alright. The features here are decent, but nothing that makes me wow'd (though that is expected of a full caster like this), but I like what's presented so far. In general though, I feel like some of the tracking elements of the class should be toned down, as you have to track spell slots, energy dice, and hit point dice all at once, and for me, that's a bit too much to track all at once. Not that i'm against complex classes (I like writing complex classes myself), but I still think it'd improve the player experience if at least some of the tracking was toned down, but more on how i'd improve that in the last section of this review, for now, let's move onto the disciplines.

Disciplines

Now onto the Disciplines.

Biofeedback is decent, 6ish temp hit points at the level you get it is always nice to have for how squishy you are, even moreso given how hungry the class is for hit dice at level 7 and beyond, Destructive Thoughts sounds good on paper, but unfortunately, there aren't that many conjuration or evocation spells on the psion spell list (much less ones with a saving throw), not counting subclass-specific spells, the only spell you have that could synergize with destructive thoughts is Shatter, which isn't a bad spell per say, but it's still only one spell for most of your career until you get Blade barrier (which is a 6th-level spell by the way). Devilish Tongue, Expanded Awareness and Tactical mind all basically do the same thing (allowing you to add an energy die to the influence, search and study action respectively), they're fine, It's cool they're using the new actions, no complaints. Ego whip is, rather odd to say the least, it replaces an opportunity attack (which, unless you're a Metamorph, you're not gonna be close enough to use this, nor should you be that close) the effect is okay? I guess, reducing speed and the next damage roll the target makes is decent, but I also have no idea why you would be in range to even use the opportunity attack trigger in the first place unless you were a metamorph, it's alright.

Id Insinuation (try saving that five times fast) is one of the stronger disciplines available, removing a d6 (up to a d12) from a saving throw is crazy good, only bolstered by the fact that the Psion has a lot of strong Enchantment spells on its base spell list: Charm Person, Command, Sleep, Hold Person, Fear, Confusion, Compulsion, and Geas are but some of the great spells this discipline affects, this and the next discipline might be a must pick, which is Innerant Aim, I don't know if I need to tell you this, but adding a +3 to an attack roll at the level you get this is crazy good, on top of the fact that the die is only spent if the attack hits, so you could just keep using this discipline until you finally hit someone. Psionic backlash is good, but I honestly think is too wordy for its good, first you spend an energy die, then roll two energy die, subtracting the total from the triggering attack roll, and you force it to make a Wis save, and it takes Psychic equal to the two energy die if it fails, it's not a bad effect, I just think the wording is really clunky for what it is, I feel like if it was instead you roll one die, subtracted it from the attack roll, and if the attacker misses they then took psychic damage it'd work much better.

Psionic Guards is situational, but good, cleansing a Charmed or Frightened off yourself is good, and being able to use this discipline on top of an additional one is nice too, no complaints. And lastly, swift precognition is also really strong, expensive yes, but i'm not gonna complain about being able to cast Blade Ward, True Strike or Banishment as a Bonus Action, unfortunately, most divination spells (especially at higher levels) are roleplay/utility spells, so I don't know how much use you'll be getting out of those spells, but besides that, this is a good discipline.

Final Thoughts. Generally, the disciplines here are decent, but I think could still use some work. I feel rather mixed on the disciplines that revolve around certain spell schools, some are really good-bordering on too good like Id Insinuation and Swift Precognition, while others, such as Destructive thoughts don't feel that well balanced around the schools they're meant to interact with, I honestly think some of the stronger disciplines could just be given at higher levels (like invocations) and it'd be better. I also think two of the disciplines (Id Insinuation and Psionic Backlash) are a bit wordy for what they do and can use some additional cleanup (and tactical mind should be renamed since there already is a fighter feature called that). With the disciplines covered, lets move onto the next part.

Subclasses

This document comes with your subclasses for the Psion: The Metamorph, Psi Warper, Psykinetic and Telepath.

The Metamorph is the gish subclass of the Psion, based around you using your mind to physically warp and alter your flesh. The expanded spell list is decent, a nice mix of healing + gishy spells like Haste and Stoneskin, the organic weapons are all good (though I think the maul could have higher damage), getting the bladesinger/valor bard extra attack is nice, also being able to expend an energy die to cast Cure Wounds as a bonus action, and add the energy die to the healing is nice to have with how squishy the subclass is. Mutable form is a good improvement to extend limbs, and each of the three benefits are good in their own right. To round off this subclass, Life bending weapons is a decent enough capstone, getting a mini smite + healing your frontline party members is decent.

Final Thoughts. this is by far my favorite of the subclasses in the document, I'll admit, I am biased since I am a fan of gish subclasses, but I think this has the most interesting concept of the currently existing gishes, my one criticism of the class is that it doesn't get anyway to improve it's defense, which sucks for a d6 class that has no armor training, nor the Shield spell to make up for it. I feel like the subclass needs some kind of natural armor, or something similar to the draconic resilience feature on the Dragon sorccerer, The subclass is also rather bonus action heavy, as both extend limbs and quickened healing require you to use a bonus action, so I think some action compression could be helpful. But besides those two gripes, I love this subclass.

The Psi warper is the teleporting subclass, that teleports things, and itself (riveting, I know). Keeping with that, the expanded spells provide all the essential teleporting spells like Misty step, Blink, Haste, Dimension door and Steel Wind Strike, you also gain a free casting of misty step once per long rest, which you can replenish by expending an energy dice, which, while very unoriginal for 2024 still isn't the worth to have, you also can now teleport creatures with Telekinetic Propel rather than just pushing them, its nothing but, but its still okay. Warp space is really cool, increasing shatter's radius to be equal to fireball, and adding a pull effect is nice and I could see it comboing real well with a blaster caster on your turn. Duplicitous target is good, but I wish you could use it on an unwilling creature, cause the idea of having a boss kill its own minion sounds fun to me. Rounding out this subclass, Mass teleportation is okay, I guess you could teleport a group of enemies into the air so they fall? but otherwise, this is a really boring capstone.

Final Thoughts. Unfortunately, I do not have nearly as much praise for this subclass as the Metamorph before, while this subclass pair sreal nice with a spike growth druid, a cleric concentrating on spirit guardians, or anyone with the fireball spell, nothing about the subclass feels that flavorful or punchy in a way you'd want a subclass to feel if that makes sense, and all the features presented just feel very boring aside from the Shatter improvement, like the archfey warlock feels like a much more interesting teleporting subclass than this. The psiwarper isn't a bad subclass by any means, I just think there can be more done to make the concept interesting.

The Psykinetic is the subclass that amplifies the psions telekinetic and blasting potential. It's expanded spell list has a decent mix of control and damaging spells like Thunderwave, Shield, Slow, and the ever-powerful Wall of Force, it's enhancements to Telekinetic propel are also nice, if nothing crazy. Empowered attack mode is crazy good, 60 foot flying speed at only 6th level (if I recall the Fly spell at this level is only 30 feet) and adding your INT modifier to your spells is really good. Enhanced Telekinetic Crush is pretty bad for its level, granted, telekinetic crush does affect a big area (being a 30-foot cube), but I feel the feature needs some extra bit of spice to really feel worth it, like maybe grappling or restraining creatures that fail their save?. For the final feature of this subclass, Heightened Telekinesis is a fine enough capstone, spending 4 dice to make telekinesis concentrationless, and allowing it to target gargantuan creatures and objects is good, nothing much more to say about it.

Final Thoughts. This subclass feels rather middle of the road for me, the features here are decent, empowered attack mode is really, really good for what it's worth, but nothing wows me about this subclass like the metamorph before, also despite sentence summary of the subclass stating quote "Mold Psionic Force for Creation and Destruction" there isn't a lot of creating with its class features, I mean it does have spells like Wall of force and Stoneshape to fit the theme, but I think its funny non of the creation idea is represented in this class features themselves, but that's ultimately a nitpick on my end.

The last subclass presented in this document is the Telepath, this is your bread and butter "doesn't do too much but expands what you were already doing" subclass, like the bezerker barbarian or the champion fighter. The expanded spells are decent, Bane, Command, Counterspell, Compulsion and Confusion are always nice to have, Mind infiltrator is unfortunately a ribbon feature, and an expensive one too at that, for the situation you'd need this feature it's good, the same thing goes for Telepathic Hub, it's a decent improvement to Telepathic connection, but nothing more than that. Empowered Defense form is decent improvement, d4 to a saving throw, and sharing that with people you're telepathically connected with is good, and potent thoughts is a decent damage boost, similarly, telepathic bolstering is good, turning failed attack rolls or checks into success's is always gonna be a good feature given the kind of game 5e is. To finish off this subclass Scrambled Mind is a really good capstone (and probably the best capstone of any subclass in this UA). The improved radius is massive, and causing two effects to anyone that fails its saving throw is really good.

Final Thoughts. Despite ending on a high note, this subclass is probably my least favorite of the four presented, it's without a doubt the best subclass out of combat, which is not something i'll ignore, but I feel like most of the features don't feel super evocative/punchy, I wouldn't call it outright bad, there's just nothing much interesting or great about this subclass.

Spells and Feats

The last thing i'll be covering from this is the new spells and feats introduced with this UA.

Summon Astral Entity is a decent summoning spell, nothing crazy, but I won't complain about more tasha's summoning spells, telekinetic crush is a decent blasting spell, and a group prone is always nice for any martials in your part. And for the last of the new spells, Telekenetic Fling is an interesting signature cantrip for the Psion. If you're curious, the returning spells are basically the same with the sole exception of mind whip, which now only prevents opportunity attacks, no longer canceling reactions (which is similar to many former reaction disasblers).

Onto the feats. The kenesis feats (such as pyrokenesis) generally aren't that interesting, just giving you a couple extra spells + allowing you to any bludgeoning, piercing, slashing or psychic damage you deal to the damage type listed (such as fire for pyrokenesis). Clairsentience seems decent for an exploration based campaign, and Biokinesis i'd imagine is really good for a Life domain, cause being able to add an extra d4 to cure wounds or healing word is an okay bump. There's really nothing much to to these feats, they're by far the weakest aspect of this UA document in my eyes.

Closing thoughts and Suggested Changes

Overall, I like the Psion, I wouldn't say any part of it blew my mind (haha, get it), but for a rough first draft I think they did a good job, and I appreciate WOTC for trying to bring a new class to 5e after avoiding it like the plague for years. Not to mention, if this UA signals that they're gonna be coming out with more classes for the 2024 ruleset, I'm looking forward to see what other classes the team could cook up, not that I don't mind playing a barbarian or fighter, but It's always nice to have a full new class to really sink your teeth into (full warlord class maybe?)

However, despite me liking this UA, I still thing there's room for it to improve, so I want to suggest some rather rough ideas for the class that (at least in my eyes) would improve the class as a whole

Casting with Energy Dice: As I mentioned in the base class section, an issue I have with this psion is the amount of tracking you have to do, so I think an easy was so simplify things would be to make psionic energy dice its main resource, and it can cast Psion spells by spending energy dice at a rate of 1 + the level of the spell, it'd inevitably man the class features, disciplines and subclass features would need to be reworked, but I feel like it'd make give the Psion more of its own identity, while also cutting down on the tracking.

Hit Dice Usage: Personally, I like the hit die usage in this, it represents the idea of a Psion burning their vitality away to fuel their abilities, which is on brand for characters like eleven or jean grey, but I think their usage comes on a bit late if they're meant to be core to the Psions design, An easy way to go about this is maybe at 5th-level the psion can get an ability that says "Whenever you would expend an energy die on a Psion feature, you can spend hit point dice instead of some or all the energy dice."

Free up that Bonus Action: I touched on this very briefly with the metamorph subclass but I want to elaborate on it more, this subclass, but the class has a lot of features that want to use your bonus action, from psionic modes, to disciplines, and several subclass features such as Teleport or Extend limbs, so I think some of these features could either be changed to require different actions, such as you at later levels being able to use a Psionic mode as a Reaction to rolling initiative, or to have some abilities be compressed into one, like Extend Limbs activating as part of Psionic mode, rather than as its own Bonus Action.

With that being said is about all I have to say about this Unearthed Arcana, this will probably end up being my longest review I've done yet, but oh well.

I hope you enjoyed my ramblings on this UA, be sure to stick around this blog if you want to hear me ramble about other UA content, or anything else that comes to mind really. If you've read this far into this blogpost, then i'm glad you did.

Have fun, go out and make some homebrew.

[mintythyme]

This is exactly my hyperfixation. I have ideas on the specifics so here you go

Francis - Highest stat DEX, lowest stat CHR. Rogue (Phantom) + Ranger (Gloom Stalker or too low level for a subclass) Human [Var, Mobile]

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Kelsey - Highest stat INT or CON, lowest stat DEX. Fighter(Eldritch Knight) / Warlock(Great Old One) Human [Var, Observant feat]

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Blake - Highest stat CON, lowest stat CHR. Artificer (Battle Smith)/ Fighter (Champion) but like. The fighter level is higher. Human [Var, either Lucky or Resilient]

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Trudy - Highest stat WIS, lowest stat STR. Cleric (pre-realization, Beauty, post realization, Life or Trickery? Maybe Protection?) Warforged [Envoy]

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Tony - Highest stat CHR, lowest stat CON. Bard (Glamour) / Rogue (Mastermind) Tabaxi

Bonus and Explanations

Britannica Blue - Highest stat INT, lowest stat WIS. Rogue (Inquisitive)/ Paladin (Crown or Watchers. Very little levels in it) Human [Var, Keen Mind]

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Milton - Highest Stat CON, lowest stat WIS . Rogue (Scout) OR Paladin (Devotion). No multi-class for Milton. Human [Var, Sentinel]

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Francis - DEX is the highest stat, and low CHR is a given. Phantom is a ghost themed subclass, for the astral projection thing. Gloom stalker also fits into the astral projection thing, and is extremely edgy. Mobile feat makes you faster and able to slip out of tight situations easier

————

Kelsey - Obviously INT is her main stat. Obviously, but I think it would tied with CON, since Matt intended her to be beefy. But, I think her stats would be relatively balanced, so DEX would just be lowest by process of elimination, rather than a dump stat. Anyways, fighter for the boxing, Eldritch knight for the knowledge (spellcasting subclass that uses wizard spells) Observant feat because spot hidden

————

Blake - Good CON so he doesn’t just fucking die, low CHR. Artificer for the plumbing, battle smith was the one that made the most sense, though only through process of elimination. There aren’t many artificer sub classes. Anyways marble is the steel defender because that’s funny. Fighter is the higher leveled one, and his INT is a 13, the bare minimum for multiclassing. Lucky makes you lucky, and resilient makes it harder for you to die.

————

Trudy - High in WIS for psychology, low in STR because she’s not made to be able to fight back. (God that sounds dark) Cleric, but I think there would be a subclass change post Tucker, when she went into her mind and moved things around. Beauty subclass originally, because there isn’t really a mother themed one, but Beauty definitely fits for what Tucker wanted her to be. Post that, I don’t really know. Maybe Life for a new appreciation for it, maybe Trickery to call back to the rogue like roots of literally every character that Beth May plays, they literally are all so rogue coded it’s insane actually. Maybe Protection? That could be mother themed?? I don’t know. Anyways Warforged is a robot, and Envoys are the Warforged with specialized purposes.

————

Tony - high CHR, obv. low CON, even more of a given at this point. Bard for fast talking, with glamour in a performative sense, Y’know. Rogue because. I mean, it’s just vibes. Mastermind because it’s so fucking funny. Calling yourself a mastermind is never not funny to me. Tabaxi is the cat species.

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BB - high INT because nerd, low WIS because you don’t need to be wise to be intelligent and also she canonically took psychic damage from her favorite teacher being slightly mean to her. Girl. Anyways, inquisitive rogue is literally the detective class and subclass. You want a detective you play and inquisitive rogue. And paladin, just for the vibes of how she acts. Crown because she was REAL dedicated to America in her introduction, that definitely is paladin vibes. Watcher because Eldritch shit. Keen Mind just makes you better at random skills so it fit

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Milton - god he’s so weird. Ok so. High CON like his aunt, but low WIS. Bro has 0 emotional intelligence. I’d say low CHR, but he has charmed the general masses with his loser energy, so he’s got that goin for him. Ok, so, rogue because he’s weird, and paladin because of the dedication he has to that weirdness. Devotion is typically an oath to a god, but he could have sworn a theoretical oath (or literal) to Kelsey. And scout because I don’t know it was the most fitting I guess. Sentinel for his unwavering ability to just stand outside Kelsey’s house I think??? I don’t remember.

————

Anyways yeah sorry I meant mildly insane about this take my meaningless headcanons

My peachyville headcanon on what each character’s DnD class might be:

Francis- Rouge

Kelsey- Monk

Blake- Fighter

Trudy- Cleric

Tony- Bard

Feel free to add your ideas on what each character’s class could be

[aporeticelenchus]

I finally got together the courage to go to an in-person D&D group with strangers, and it was terrifying but also really fun! I finally got to be a player! I made a knowledge domain cleric academic and ran around making history checks at everything.

[thecreaturecodex]

Gargantis

Image © John Sibbick

[Yes, that John Sibbick, most familiar to a generation of dinosaur nerds as the illustrator of David Norman’s Illustrated Encyclopedia of Dinosaurs, and one of the most ripped off paleoartists of all time. That distinctively wrinkled skin texture of Sibbick’s dinosaurs is present here in the gargantis, which has something of a kaiju vibe (specifically, it looks like Yongary). In Crypt of the Sorcerer, the original Fighting Fantasy book a gargantis appears in, a gargantis horn is the McGuffin you need in order to stake the titular sorcerer and kill him once and for all.]

Gargantis CR 19 CN Magical Beast This creature resembles an oversized dinosaur, with thick scaly skin and a long tail. It walks on two legs, its forelimbs being muscular and ending with clawed hands. It has multiple rows of teeth in its jaws, and a spiraling horn growing from between its eyes.

A gargantis is a powerful kaiju-like entity found deep within the lost worlds of the Darklands. They are not unique, as much as those that cross their paths would wish, but only under extreme circumstances are more than one found per continent. They feed primarily on flesh, but supplement this diet by feeding on magic, absorbed through their horn. Gargantises can see magical auras, and seek out powerful magic items to drain. This is likely to bring them into conflict with adventurers delving into their habitat.

Although the horn of a gargantis is its most feared weapon, its other weapons are still shatteringly powerful. Prey is grabbed in its jaws and swallowed, and smaller enemies are merely trampled. A gargantis can withstand large amounts of physical punishment, and is completely immune to mind influencing effects. When a gargantis is injured, it sends out a telepathic wave that makes creatures mindlessly violent, shattering the ability for a coordinated defense against their attacks.

Because of the antimagic properties of their horns, gargantises are sought out by the powerful and the desperate. A gargantis may be negotiated with, provided the negotiator can communicate in concepts simple enough (and offers a unique meal of magic and meat). If the gargantis cannot be convinced to cooperate in disjoining an artifact or slaying a powerful enemy, the horn can be claimed after the creature is slain. A gargantis’ horn can be used as an improvised Huge lance that overcomes all damage reduction; it is brittle and breaks on a natural roll of 1. It can use its magic negating properties by touch 1d4 times before crumbling into dust. The market value of a gargantis horn differs, but it is worth at least incidental treasure value for a CR 19 creature if sold on the open market.

Gargantis               CR 19 XP 204,800 CN Colossal magical beast Init +2; Senses arcane sight, darkvision 120 ft., Perception +16, scent Defense AC 33, touch 6, flat-footed 30 (-8 size, +2 Dex, +1 dodge, +27 natural) hp 324 (24d10+192) Fort +22, Ref +16, Will +15 DR 15/epic; Immune mind influencing effects; Resist acid 20, cold 20, electricity 20, fire 20, sonic 20; SR 30 Defensive Abilities reactive madness Offense Speed 50 ft. Melee bite +31 (4d6+15/19-20 plus grab), 2 claws +31 (2d8+15), gore +31 (4d6+15), tail slap +29 (4d6+7) Space 30 ft.; Reach 30 ft. Special Attacks magical horn, swallow whole (AC 23, 32 hp, 4d6+22 bludgeoning), trample (Ref DC 37, 4d6+22) Statistics Str 41, Dex 15, Con 27, Int 4, Wis 20, Cha 18 Base Atk +24; CMB +47 (+51 grapple); CMD 58 Feats Acrobatic Steps, Blind-fight, Combat Reflexes, Critical Focus, Dodge, Improved Critical (bite), Iron Will, Multiattack, Nimble Moves, Power Attack, Staggering Critical, Stunning Critical Skills Climb +26, Perception +16, Swim +26 Languages Undercommon (cannot speak) Ecology Environment underground Organization solitary Treasure special (see above) Special Abilities Arcane Sight (Su) A gargantis can detect magical auras and spellcasting ability as if it was under the effects of an arcane sight spell. Magical Horn (Su) A gargantis’ gore attack overcomes all damage reduction, even epic or /-. As a standard action, or as part of a full attack action, a gargantis may touch a creature or object with its horn instead of making a gore attack. A creature or object so touched has its magic unraveled as per a mage’s disjunction spell (CL 19th, Will DC 26). The save DC is Charisma based. Reactive Madness (Su) The first time in a 24 hour period that a gargantis takes damage, all creatures within 60 feet must succeed a DC 26 Will save or be overcome by random violence for 2 minutes. On the start of an effected creature’s turn, it has a 50% chance to attack the nearest conscious creature to the best of its ability for 1 round instead of taking its normal action. This is a mind influencing, compulsion effect and the save DC is Charisma based.

[chooseruin]

Wolf 359: D&D Edition

Almost a decade behind the rest of the internet, I have discovered Wolf 359. I have also been watching a shit-ton of D&D build videos. The end result was probably inevitable. (This is definitely more of an overall Vibe Translation; to actually replicate anyone's canon bullshit I'm pretty sure you'd want something like SW5E or Starfinder. Except Eiffel. Eiffel is the only full-class character on this list and that class just works regardless. Life is wild.)

Eiffel: straight spirits bard. Seriously. As written this one is all about the gothic vibes, but if you wanted to be an inexplicably lovable nerd who talks to aliens through the radio and buffs the party somewhat unpredictably by means of bewildering pop culture references, that is legit a cosmetic reflavoring only. When he casts Calm Emotions it defuses the situation by making everyone really annoyed with him instead.

Hera: warforged aberrant mind sorcerer/tempest cleric. She of all people would really benefit from using a different system, but if you were in a hurry, I'm pretty sure you could fake it by 1. ruling that the station counted as both heavy armor for her core processors and an enormous spellcasting focus; 2. adapting the panic attack mechanic from Fantasy High.

Minkowski: lightfoot halfling champion fighter/order cleric. This is not solely a short joke; I also think Minkowski deserves the ability to reroll ones. (In a setting with more melee combat, I'd probably go cavalier over champion, that being kind of the ultimate mom-arm fighter subclass, but they don't necessarily get to do a lot with ranged attacks. I passed on devotion pally for much the same reason.)

Hilbert: alchemist artificer/divination wizard. The wizard levels are there in large part because Portent is the save-killer and Hera is actually going to end up with a halfway decent Wisdom modifier and advantage on charm saves. Also because extra spell slots.

Lovelace: hexblood gloomstalker ranger/celestial warlock. After some deliberation I went hexblood because the surveillance potential of Eerie Token is such a nice fit for her early-arc paranoia. Also, you don't have to tell me how MAD this build is; I know. On the other hand, she is probably a few levels ahead of some other characters, and does your martial attack stat need to be perfect when you can get Archery and Improved Pact Weapon?

Kepler: mastermind rogue/battlemaster fighter. The quintessential controlling SOB power build, not much to add. He and Lovelace both have the Inspiring Leader feat, which is absolutely hilarious to everyone involved except for them.

Jacobi: artillerist artificer/war magic wizard. Yes, I did just make Jacobi an INT-based 0.75 caster. What about it?

Maxwell: ... genuinely I am pretty sure the only way to get any of the right flavor for this is with the completely dead archivist artificer UA. (They did recycle some bits and pieces of that one for the scribes wizard, but that ended up being more or less of a specialized blaster, which isn't quite quite.) Plus a divination wizard dip, same reason as Hilbert.

[catgirl-ocd]

AND REMEMBER KIDS INT STAT IS THE DUMP STAT!!!!!

Unless you are some sort of wizard but man who wants to deal with spell slots <——- guy who is considering multiclassing into spellcaster.

IM LIVING WITH PENALTIES TO INT ROLLS AND IM STILL DOING FINE!!!!! IN FACT IM PLAYING A LINGUIST / ANTHROPOLOGIST!! IT DODSNT MATTER!

JUST LET YOUR NERD ASS WEAK PARTY MEMBERS DO ALL THE INVESTIGATION CHECKS. ITS JUST THAT EASY!!!

Pythra AF ref #2

some older Pythra art.

[gefdreamsofthesea]

For those of you who think Charisma based casters like sorcerers have it easy, Pathfinder has more Charisma based classes for you to make fun of for the following reasons:

Bard: too easy

Oracles: oracles don't bother with study or having intimate relationships with deities, they just understand the mysteries of the universe. There is a drawback though in the form of their curse. So you know what don't make fun of them too much.

Psychic: Psychics can be either nerds (INT based) or discount sorcerers. Their power comes from their own mind. So honestly they don't even have the history of a sorcerer. At least the sorcerer probably has a cool story about how grandma was an actual angel.

Summoner: relies on their pet for everything

Thaumaturge - not even proper spellcasters, Thaumaturges rely on their stuff to power their abilities (jokes aside it's a really cool class)

[tiefling-queer]

For D&D character ask, for any and/or all of your characters;

1, 5, 8, 15, 23, 29, 64, 65, 69(Nice)

i’m gonna answer these for whichever characters have the most interesting answers, skipping some for repeats:

1. why did they choose their class(es)? their subclass(es)?

kip (wizard, school of necromancy): crisis of faith midway through grave cleric training, spurred on by him sucking at the whole cleric thing (9 wisdom babyyy) while also being a nerd (18 int babyyyy)

baylock (shadow sorcerer/rogue): the sorcerer part is a side effect from being born dead during a cataclysmic event that tore portions of the material plane asunder. the rogue part is because he got in with a bad crowd as a kid. he’s been gaining levels in sorcerer as he traverses the freaky magic wasteland, utilizes his magic more, and gets a little closer to death each time someone hits his squishy arcane caster frame too hard

izak (gunslinger, graveslinger): sometimes you’re a jaded teen-equivalent runaway bumming around the river kingdoms and some dude comes up to you and is like ‘im a neutral evil mercenary, but if you take this gun and learn to shoot, i can also be your dad’. and then later you’re a 20-something equivalent who just realized that you don’t actually want to be an evil mercenary so you run away again and this time some dude comes up to you and is like ‘i’m a priest of sarenrae and an exorcist, and if you believe you can be redeemed, i can also be your dad.’ and then you learn how to shoot ghosts so you can be useful while this guy teaches you about being a better person.

5. do they follow a higher power? what are their thoughts on divinity?

izak: (deep lore dump) izak’s family was, at one point, pious people, and it was some ancestor’s warped perception of what piousness is and what was worth sacrificing in the name of good that led to the entire mess that is izak’s face. izak’s a devout worshiper of sarenrae now and hopes to maybe be the assistance someone needs to put themselves on a better path the way brak was for him, but there’s still a part of him that believes that, because he’s a tiefling, he’s never going to really be saved, and that his soul will eventually belong to the asura it was promised to.

8. what are three songs that suit them?

sydel: buckets of blood by rufus rex (tw for self harm, link goes to spotify because i can’t find this track on its own on youtube), thank god that i’m not you by himalayas, and bruises by fox stevenson (full playlist here)

15. do they trust their party? why or why not?

kip: he trusts them with his life, he just doesn’t trust them to understand where he’s coming from. he’s hiding some really heretical opinions that he knows at least maya (the celestial warlock) won’t agree with. he doesn’t like to talk about his family trauma, his past, or anything that he thinks the party can use to cleverly deduce that the notes he’s been scribbling are about raising the dead and theoretical conduits, prices, and replacements for the soul (he’s a little paranoid and might be giving them more credit than they deserve)

baylock: baylock might trust morgran, but he doesn’t trust surina at all, not since she and the (presumed deceased) swashbuckler tried to use him as a scapegoat when they were being interrogated by evil government warlocks. and even then, he only trusts morgran to not leave him for dead. baylock’s a fiercely loyal person by nature, so he’s been trying to keep his party at arms length so he won’t be betrayed again. the closest he came to starting to trust them was right before he found out that they told the evil government warlock that they’d turn him in in exchange for their freedom when they were captured a while back (whether or not they actually intended to do so is irrelevant for baylock - he spent 5 years in prison after being his old thieve’s guild’s fall guy, he’s not about to let it happen again)

23. how do they feel about nicknames, titles, or labels that have been given to them? how do they feel about their name?

kip: kip’s given name is joffric ravenhall. he’s been going by the alias of ‘greenbough’ on the offchance that people have heard of his family or knew his father at some point, since he really doesn’t want to explain why he’s not a priest of the raven queen by now. ‘kip’, however, is what his family and friends call him, so it was a bit of a big deal to him when he told the party to call him kip, since he hadn’t been around anyone he considered family or friend in a few years. kip’s reeling a little bit over suddenly being called an ‘adverturer type’ - to him, he’s still just a transient weirdo who picks up odd jobs.

baylock: baylock craft’s name isn’t actually baylock craft (not yet anyway lol), he stole his late cellmate’s identity to take advantage of the jailbreak that came a few days too late. his name, ekleipsis caldor, isn’t exactly something he identifies with so much as what he was once called. his father never wanted him but got stuck with him when his mother bounced, so ‘caldor’ is more a formality than anything. ‘ekleipsis’ is the greek root of ‘eclipse’, for the eclipse he was born during - but moreso, ‘ekleipsis’ doesn’t mean ‘to be covered’ - it means ‘a disappearance or abandonment’. an event where the sun abandons the sky. baylock is a walking abandonment issue. he hasn’t taken a virtue name because he thinks it’s performative (which is where him officially taking the name ‘baylock craft’ as his name and not the identity of someone he’s pretending to be comes in - it’s the equivalent of naming himself for the virtue of rebellion without naming himself something stupid and embarrassing like ‘rebel’.)

izak: izak just got done being haunted by a ghost wizard who’s obsessed with names, probably because he’s had 4. izak was born dalethiel oakleaf back when he was an elf, but when he ran away after waking up as a tiefling he went by dally. then he was a mercenary for a while and his edgy mercenary name was viper. and then, when asked for his name by the cleric of sarenrae who rescued him in the wilderness, he said he didn’t have one worth giving, so the cleric told him he’d just call him izak then. that’s who izak is now, as far as he’s concerned, or at least who he wants to be. as he told the ghost wizard who tried to torment him with his birth name, that’s not his name anymore. dalethiel oakleaf was a young elf who died on his 50th birthday. izak’s got a perfectly good name, given to him by a kind man, and he doesn’t want to think about the time in his life he went by dally or viper.

karif: karif always introduces himself formally with his full name, in the family-given-familiar name pattern - ‘ixenvari karifgethisk fraurirthos, er, but you can just call me karif.’ this is because karif’s nickname, fraurirthos, the one his childhood friends and family call him, translates from draconic literally to ‘breathes secrets’. his nickname is snitch. he’s a little embarrassed about it. but ‘karifgethisk’ is a bit of a mouthful for those who don’t speak draconic, so shortening it to ‘karif’ suits fine.

29. who would they save? who would they be saved by? 

this has been a tough one, i’m not sure how to answer it for anyone.

64. do they value mercy or justice more?

kip: this honestly depends on his mood and your definitions of both ‘mercy’ and ‘justice’. he’s very easily led away by his emotions - both pity and compassion that could sway him to lean more towards mercy, and rage that tends to harden his heart and clear his head. he’s more than down to torture someone if he deems them evil, and he’ll destroy creatures like aberrations, fiends, and undead without a second thought, but he views life as a very precious thing - even when torturing an evil demon-summoning spellcaster, he still was trying to find ways out that resulted in that spellcaster getting out alive. this has come back to bite the party in the ass, since it was kip’s insistance that the party not kill all the guards on their little anarchy stunt that got them blackmailed to infiltrate the evil army of darkness, which is something he most certainly DOES NOT want to do.

65. what is holding them back?

kip: kip’s hang-ups about the soul and how he was raised are holding him back from becoming a stronger necromancer, while his grief and refusal to accept mortality hold him back from possibly still being some flavor of raven queen follower.

baylock: baylock’s hesitance and confusion over what he wants are holding him back from either fully embracing the rebellion or ditching it to get vengence

izak: izak’s self-loathing and fear of himself hold him back from interacting with people and forming meaningful relationships outside of the handful of people who’ve found out he’s a tiefling.

69 (nice): how would they describe their party members?

kip:

maya is... complicated. kip admires her pragmatism and her faith - it reminds him of his older sister, and he’s been missing that rock in his life. however, he butts heads with her a lot, because he finds her cold duty-bound outlook to be pointlessly cruel.

meera is wicked smart and talented, if a little misguided at times. he’s very big brother protective of her, always trying to offer her his dagger because ‘it’s a nice dagger’ (it’s +1)

amity is a good kid, and smarter than some may give him credit for. he’s fun to be around, and usually a level-headed presence, which makes it even more surprising just how ok he is with killing.

baylock:

morgran is an asshole, but is also probably the only person in the group who believes in this whole rebellion thing, so that counts for something. he’s decent people, can probably be trusted to see a mission through and not do anything completely stupid, but since he’s decent people he’s probably going to insist on staying on this path of lunacy with delusions of ‘taking down the Summit’. also, morgran shouldn’t be allowed to talk to anyone they meet, because he’s an asshole, and doesn’t bother pretending to be personable like baylock does.

surina is insane. she’s deranged, like everyone who tries to live outside the sanctums is. also just racist at times. when their cover gets blown or when they get mixed up with people they should be talking down, she’s gonna be the reason they all get killed.

porthos is was an idiot and a liability and just proved him right by running off and doing something rash and probably getting himself killed and also maybe compromising the whole rebellion which baylock doesn’t care about, so why does he feel like he should have done more to stop Porthos’ demise?

[ravel-puzzlewell]

@mariden replied to your post: @mariden replied to your post: ...

your constructive advice really gets in the way of my fruitless whining, u know 3: but yeah im a scrub, so i guess i’ll do that. although in poe and tyranny and sr i didnt have a problem with making a charismatic meatgrinder of a character. um, not that i feel the need to defend myself haha.ha

aw don't worry, it's not about being a scrub. tyranny and poe are much more streamlined (in a good way) than dnd 3.5, bc ultimately it's a tabletop system. it gives you lots of options, but it kinda assumes you read a book about all of them. you kinda have to know what you're doing with dnd and plan beforehand - for what feats, skills, spells, prestige classes you aim. so it's no shame to see what nerds who did all the calculations already think is the best build.

for charisma meatgrinder just pick a Sorcerer. It’s that easy. Give it also above average Int for skills and you’re set on all fronts. Everything else is a dump stat. Tho if you want a bit of spice you can pick other Char-based spellcasters - fre, Gann’s class is basically Char-based Druid. 

Also, don’t forget to buff before fights and you’re basically unkillable :3

[nerdarchy-blog]

Your stalwart old lady grognard finished her first fifth edition Dungeons & Dragons campaign last night! And my character survived!

First, a little backstory. A little more than a year ago, I read about Nerdarchy on Facebook and watched some of their videos. I learned they were right across the river in New Jersey! At the time, I hadn’t played (as a player) a D&D game in decades, and I’d never played 5E D&D. However, the popularity (it seemed everyone was playing it) and my desire to play D&D again caused me to reach out to the Nerdarchy guys. But how to make myself stand out from the thousands of emails, comments and fan mail they received each day? Hmmm. I know! I’ll rattle off my gaming resume! (TSR, GW, etc.) And they responded!

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After some initial texts and such I was invited to a game forming that would be played once a month. I’d never met any of these people, and for all I knew Nerdarchist Ted (who was hosting) was actually a serial killer who had chained Nerdarchist Dave in his basement to make the videos. (Is Nerdarchist Dave blinking “T-O-R-T-U-R-E” in Morse code in that video?) In any case, I drove from the Philly ‘burbs to meet the guys and sit in on a game in an edition that was far different than the one I knew. Damn millennials. Get off my lawn.

Fortunately, the other players as well as Ted (henceforth DM) were very patient with me as I fumbled through character creation, etc., and humored me when I insisted in *gasp!* actually rolling my character stats instead of taking the standard frame thing. *clutches pearls!* The rest of the group looked on bemused as I rolled the 4d6 method from ages past, with the condition that I get one shot at this and must accept the character as rolled…

7 11 16 13 18 16 (not in that order)

Holy crab! Best character I’d ever rolled! I, of course, played it cool, extolling the virtues of the Old Ways while, inside, celebrating like crazy. As it stood, I had the best stats in the party. So of course I decided to play…

A cleric.

I was going to play a human cleric (WTF is a “warforged” anyway?) but Dave suggested an aasimar. A what??? That’s a human with divine blood who gets really powerful boosts and stuff to start, and progressively gets more powerful. Hmm… cleric with angel, I mean “celestial” blood? I could work that. I’d heard 5E D&D had wildly overpowered characters but… wow. The DM allowed us use of D&D Beyond, which was an immense help to this novice. I found a suitable picture online that fit the character description.

So was born unto the table, Emerald of the Light. She was a Light Domain cleric (duh) as this fit the idea I had for her. She was going to be young, drop dead gorgeous and very good at ministering to the flock and converting others to the Light. The DM even allowed me to design her deity, whom I named Selah, commonly the known as “the Light.” I designed the priesthood, the paladins (the Service of the Light,) the temples, relics, etc. In addition, I designed a beggar deity in the pantheon: NohWhey.

The rest of the group were a motley crew (cue ’80s music) and we spent the first session deciding on our group backstory (we started at 3rd level), and between the DM’s two campaign ideas. We even were able to name the big bad — a generic wizard name from my old campaigns: Zoltar. Our group named itself the Seven Who Stayed (as we were the only seven desperate enough for a job to stay for that first quest, which was to rescue a family from a cult of goblins who worshiped an owlbear. It got far more complicated, but that’s the basics). It bears mentioning I was the only female character, and the only woman at the table.

In March 2019 we began the campaign. Over time we fought giant stirges, settled a town dispute without bloodshed (thanks to my… Charisma and Wisdom) encountered Ipskig Fizzletop, genasi, an invincible undead dwarf, a booger flying across the table and landing on my character sheet (really!), various monsters made from pieces of multiple beasts (that was Zoltar’s bag — making combination monsters that steadily became more Lovecraftian and bizarre) including a tentacled two headed T-Rex, got gold teeth for a shriveled goblin shrunken head, discussed scaly lizard nutsacks, traveled through multiple planes and, in the end, saved the city-state. During that time, Emerald healed the party while dispensing Holy Justice. Oh, and she never died.  Her stats at the end?

7 STR, 11 INT, 16 CON, 13 INT, 20 WIS, 18 CHA

The players (I’m not naming them as I don’t have permission) were wonderful roleplayers, much to my character’s chagrin. They did so many frustratingly stupid things that were so in character I was fascinated. Emerald was often the straight woman to their jokes. I don’t think we had a true party leader but the group often did what I suggested. Not always. Sometimes.

Okay, I loved the campaign itself. Now… I’m removing my emotion hat and am now looking at the system objectively from the point of view of a person who’s been playing D&D for over 40 years.

Pass the Geritol.

I’d heard from many Players of Experience that the new edition was very simplified, didn’t resemble the original game in most ways and had overpowered characters.

They are correct. Aside from the monsters and the class names, there really isn’t much of the original game left. Character generation is oversimplified to the point of being generic, as are character hit points and experience (your characters gain a level every two sessions — no experience points). Also, occasionally when levelling, a player could add two points to an ability score (or a feat). (Max: 20.)

Math has been completely eliminated from the game. The other players were again shocked I always insisted on rolling my hit points when we leveled instead of taking the average. Usually it worked out in my favor (praise the Light!) but not always. In the end, Emerald’s hit points were 10 points higher than if I’d taken the average (plus Constitution bonus).

Okay, even with the generic stats the characters are far more powerful than back in the day. They start with feats, which give them incredible abilities. The races also have jaw dropping abilities to start as well. I can’t speak for the other classes but the cleric spells and abilities were also incredible. By the end my 10th level cleric was throwing fireballs (previously a wizard only spell) while flying over the battlefield with wings of light created by divine power, and had a 10% chance of calling for Divine Intervention once a week! And I was far from the strongest character in the party! (Best spellcaster though. Hee hee.)

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Zolar, the big bad of Nerdarchist Ted’s campaign

The terrible two-tentacled T-Rex

The DM compensated by throwing monsters (like the aforementioned T.T. T-Rex) that we really had no business defeating. Zoltar ended up as a lich with two beholder eye stalks (damn clever if you ask me, and yes, the DM converted the model!), which was immune to fire. Also to compensate, magic items were exceedingly rare for the players, but not for the monsters who, when defeated, often had their weapons vanish or such.

Combat with the large group sometimes dragged, as it will with a large group, but… I felt it lacked the flavor of previous editions. Weapons did damage, but were really interchangeable. Emerald’s mace may as well have been a broad sword. Or a wooden club. While slightly more complex, the old versions’ damage by weapon type and bonus/penalties vs. certain armors really added to the flavor of the game. Oh, and forced the player to *lightning and thunder crash* do math!

In the new edition’s favor is that with all the computer programs, companies churning out amazing play aids (like Nerdarchy’s Out of the Box Encounters) and YouTube videos helping people learn the game, as well as just videos of people… just …playing… zzzzzz… Oh, sorry… really helps.

D&D was definitely a niche thing back in the day: nerds and outcasts only, even during the heyday of the early ’80s. Now it’s chic and all the cool kids are playing it. Is this because it’s so streamlined? Probably. It plays like an online video game, which I’m sure helps with recruitment.

Older editions were more complex, required math and deductive reasoning (due to the books being poorly organized in the original edition — yes, I’m looking at you, first edition DM’s Guide!), but had an air of wonder. Everything was new then and as a player one felt like part of something special. I felt that way working for TSR in the ’90s, even though the company was becoming very corporate. Fifth edition is falling into the trap that second edition did — there’s so much material and rules out there that things are becoming convoluted and hard to follow, even with computer assistance.

Or maybe that’s just me. Maybe part of my memories of first and second editions are tinted with the golden light of memory and nostalgia — of old friends, great adventures played in unfinished basements or cramped cinder block dorm rooms.

I DMed a second edition campaign briefly last spring, which ended when one of the players (a Gen Z) said the game was boring, and two of the players went back to fifth edition gaming. The scenario wasn’t boring, she said (Keep on the Borderlands, if you’re curious) but the system was. I was deflated. And hurt. Took it personally.

I’m not here to piss in anyone’s corn flakes — if you enjoy fifth edition then play it! Enjoy the camaraderie, enjoy the settings and making the DM curse when your unexpected action completely derails their plans (that hasn’t changed in any edition!). I’ll play if offered a seat (which as a transgender woman is rare — but that’s another column for later) sure. But to DM?

My heart will always be in the early editions.

Get off my lawn! I would’ve gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling kids! *passes out Werther’s Original candies.*

Be well!

With her first 5E D&D campaign complete now that Nerdarchist Ted's game ended, a longtime player compares the experience to earlier editions of the game Your stalwart old lady grognard finished her first fifth edition Dungeons & Dragons campaign last night! And my character survived!