#next potential prophet

[footfetishlamp-prototype7]

I feel like crowleys demonic pussy could have saved Dean Winchester from the darkness of the mark of Cain

[leomitchellart]

MISSING TARGARYEN EGGS:

I’ve been driving myself a little insane as of late; Obsessively pondering and pouring-over the fact that there’s a staggering amount of unhatched dragon eggs in ASOIAF. All the way up to the mad king Aerys II’s attempts to hatch them. With potentially over twenty left unaccounted for after being first mentioned. That’s not assuming how many of these eggs got passed-down and given to the next generation after the Dance of the Dragons.

Despite that, only six of these established eggs had their appearances described. So I decided to draw them! Since I loved doing Dany’s eggs last year. 

MAELOR “THE MISSING” TARGARYEN:

Like his elder siblings, the twins Jahaerys and Jahaera, Prince Maelor’s egg was placed in his cradle at birth. But unlike his sibling’s eggs, who would hatch and be bonded to Shrykos & Morghul respectively; Maelor’s remained unhatched by the time civil war broke-out between the Black and Green factions of House Targaryen. Being born in the latter, his egg was a fitting pale green with silver swirls. After the Greens were forced to flee King’s Landing, Maelor and his egg were to be escorted by Ser Rickard Thorne of the Kingsguard to the safety of Oldtown. Only for the three year-old Prince and his escort to meet a gruesome end at Bitterbridge in 130AC. The ruling Lady Caswell had the egg sent to Maleor’s great uncle, Lord Ormund Hightower, hoping it would appease the Greens. It did not. The Massacre of Bitterbridge followed soon after.

AEGON THE USURPER: 

After the prolonged death of his dragon, Sunfyre, in 130 AC, Aegon II of the Green faction had a maester send him seven eggs from Dragonstone, hoping he could quickly gain a new mount to finally win the civil war. As armies still fought in the name of his half-sister, Queen Rhaenyra Targaryen, whose crown he’d usurped. Out of all his options, he had his eyes set on an egg of purple and gold. Believing it would hatch a worthy replacement:  "—a new Sunfyre, prouder and fiercer than the last". Aegon would be poisoned the following year and none of his chosen hatched. Why yes, this egg does remind me of Spyro, I’m glad you agree.

ELAENA TARGERYAN:

Despite the many vast and interesting details we know of the life of Princess Elaena Targaryen, from her and her sister’s imprisonment in the Maidenvault, to her unofficial time as Master of Coin and advisor to Daeron the Good, the final whereabouts of her egg are not officially given. Even though it was said to be her most cherished possession; its shell sharing the same platinum white colour and bright golden streak as her own unique hair. 

AEGON THE UNWORTHY/LORD AMBROSE BUTTERWELL:

An egg of red, with golden flecks and black whorls. It once belonged to Aegon IV, but ever the reckless, entitled, and lustful man he was, he simply gave it away. He offered it to the lord of House Butterwell of Whitewalls in exchange for being permitted to bed all three of the lord’s virgin daughters. The Lord accepted the egg, and supposedly Aegon would get all three pregnant that night.  The egg remained in House Butterwell’s possession until the lord’s grandson, Ambrose Butterwell, held a tourney in 212AC to celebrate his wedding, with the egg as the coveted prize for the winner. The tourney, however, was merely a cover for those conspiring in the second Blackfyre Rebellion. The plan was for all competing knights to be bribed and lose to Daemon II Blackfyre, disguised as John the Fiddler. Daemon had prophetic dreams of a dragon egg hatching at Whitewalls. With a living dragon at his side, Daemon would be able to take the iron throne from House Targaryen. In the end, the rebellion was a failure, with the hatching egg proving to be a lot more metaphorical. Daemon was arrested and the egg returned to the crown’s custody by Lord Brynden Rivers, aka Bloodraven. (Calling it now: The egg in the upcoming TV series, ‘A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms’, won’t look anything like this, as none of the eggs have. Watch them just make it Drogon’s egg instead, continuity be damned. Like HotD’s attempt to claim Syrax was the mother of Daenerys’s three dragons.) 

AERION “THE MONSTROUS” BRIGHTFLAME:

Like the rest of his brothers, Prince Aerion’s egg was placed in his cradle at birth, as per Targaryen tradition. His looked as if it was “—made of gold and silver, with veins of fire running through it”. I think I speak for everyone when I say it’s a good thing he never had a dragon to bond with. It seems he gave up any hope of a thing the egg, instead meeting his end by drinking the dangerous substance known as Wildfire, thinking it would transform him into a literal dragon.  I do have a personal theory that Aerion’s unique sense of style was actually inspired by his egg. 

AEGON “EGG” THE UNLIKELY:

Like the rest of his brothers, Aegon V’s egg was placed in his cradle at birth, as per Targaryen tradition. His coloured “—white and green, all swirly.” For years, Aegon became obsessed with dragons and never stopped hoping he’d see them return. Moreso during his reign as king, knowing a living dragon could’ve helped enforce his new reforms and protections for the smallfolk against many contentious lords that opposed him.  In 259 AC, Aegon gathered his family and friends at Summerhall to celebrate the upcoming birth of his first great grandchild. There he would make his boldest attempt to hatch seven dragon eggs using Wildfire. Instead, Summerhall, and many members of the Targaryen family, including him, perished in the resulting inferno. Perhaps his own egg was among those seven? 

[sweetheartsofpanem]

Storm Spirit and Sunshine - Soft Things Survive

Previous Part

warnings: refer to series masterlist

pairing(s): refer to series masterlist

word count: 3.06k

series masterlist | main masterlist

You swing the door open like you live there.

“I can feel it,” you announce, as dramatically as possible, stepping into Haymitch’s house like it’s the stage and you’re the lead in a weather-themed tragedy. “It’s coming.”

Haymitch looks up from the table, one brow already raised. “What, the end times?”

You point a single finger to the ceiling like a prophet. “Thunderstorm.”

He blinks at you. Slowly. “That’s what you’re being weird about?”

You stride forward with purpose, dropping onto the couch. “It’s not just any storm. It’s the perfect storm. Big thunder. Dramatic lightning. Just humid enough to make my hair do the thing. I can feel it in my bones.”

“You what?”

“In my bones, Haymitch.” You pat your knees solemnly. “These bad boys don’t lie. You’re not the only one in this village with old people joints. I’ve got the storm-sensing cartilage of a seasoned sea captain.”

He stares at you for a long moment, clearly weighing whether or not it’s worth responding.

“You need help.”

“I need snacks,” you say, kicking your feet up onto the coffee table. “And a window seat for the show.”

“Remind me why I let you in.”

“You didn’t. But if you did it’d be because I’m delightful and bring chaos into your otherwise boring life.”

Haymitch doesn’t answer, but you see the twitch at the corner of his mouth before he turns back to whatever he’s pretending to read.

Outside, the sky rumbles.

The sky rumbles again—louder this time, long and low like the clouds are clearing their throats.

You shoot Haymitch a smug grin. “Told you. These joints don’t lie.”

He doesn’t even look up. Just mutters, “Should get them checked out.”

You gasp. “Rude.”

Another crack of thunder rattles the windows, and this time you light up like someone just handed you a puppy. You practically skip to the window, sitting in front of it with your face practically pressed against it.

“This is gonna be so good,” you breathe, eyes scanning the sky. “I bet we get real ground-shaker thunder before long.”

“You sound way too excited about potential structural damage,” Haymitch calls.

You wave him off. “Shh. I’m concentrating.”

The next flash of lightning slices through the sky like a blade—bright and fast.

You immediately start counting.

Then the thunder comes—loud and sharp, cracking across the sky like a gunshot.

You turn, grinning. “Two miles away.”

Haymitch frowns. “What?”

You gesture wildly, as if it should be obvious. “The storm! When you see lightning, you count the seconds until you hear the thunder. Then divide by five. That’s how many miles away it is.”

He stares at you, unimpressed. “Did you just make that up?”

You scoff. “No. My dad taught me that when I was like six. It’s science, sunshine.”

“Right. Storm science,” he says, like that’s somehow less valid than regular science.

“You’re just mad I know more than you.”

“I’m mad you’ve made this your entire personality in the last ten minutes.”

You smirk. “Jealousy doesn’t look good on you.”

Outside, another flash. You immediately whip back to the window and start counting again.

Haymitch watches you from his chair, shaking his head like you’re the strangest thing to ever walk into his house—and, somehow, his favorite.

The rain begins and thickens fast—goes from lazy drops to a full curtain in under a minute. It drums against the roof with steady insistence, a rhythm that seems to echo somewhere in your chest.

You rest your chin on your arms, still leaning on the windowsill, watching the branches sway like they’re trying to hold on for dear life. Wind whistles low and mean through the gaps in the eaves.

Another lightning strike slices the sky—closer this time, burning hot-white against the clouds.

“Half a mile,” you whisper to yourself, counting barely past two before the thunder hits like a hammer. The floorboards tremble.

You glance back at Haymitch. “That one felt personal.”

He’s squinting toward the window, not quite as relaxed as usual. “If a tree falls on this house, I’m blaming your knees.”

You press a hand to your chest. “How dare you question my weather bones.”

“I question everything about you.”

“You never tell me to leave though,” you say sweetly.

He mutters something that sounds suspiciously like “mistake of the decade,” but you catch the twitch of a smile at the corner of his mouth.

Another flash—closer. You don’t even have time to count before the thunder answers, deafening and deep. The lights in the living room flicker.

Your eyes widen. “Oho. We are in it now.”

Haymitch sighs and stands, peering out another window like that’s going to change the weather. “Hope you weren’t planning to sleep tonight.”

You shrug. “Wasn’t the plan anyway.”

The wind howls—sharp enough now to make the house creak. You swear you can feel it in your ankles. And just as you’re about to make another smug comment, the sky flashes again.

“Lightning strike’s on top of us,” you say, half to yourself.

And then the thunder hits.

It’s not just sound this time. It’s impact. It rolls through the walls, shakes something loose in the floorboards.

Your stomach does a tiny flip. Not fear—just anticipation.

Haymitch mutters something under his breath and moves toward the kitchen. “Gonna find the candles before you start shrieking.”

You snort. “I do not shriek.”

“We’ll see.”

You’re still at the window, chin in your hand, rain streaking the glass like paint. It’s wild out now. Full fury. Trees bending, wind howling like it’s got a grudge. It makes the thunder feel sharper somehow. Hungrier.

“Storm’s practically on top of us,” you say quietly, like narrating makes it less intense. “Bet the next one knocks the power.”

From the kitchen, Haymitch grumbles, “If you manifested that with your weird knee magic—”

The lights go out.

Just like that.

Darkness swallows the room, sudden and total.

The storm outside rages louder in the silence that follows—like it was waiting. Like it was watching.

And for a second—just one—you freeze.

Your breath hitches.

It’s not the dark. Not really.

It’s the way it feels.

The way it hits you all at once—walls closing in, cold pressing down on your chest, the weight of memory clawing up from somewhere it shouldn’t still live. Dirt floors. No windows. Screaming until your throat gave out.

Locked in.

Alone.

Small.

“Haymitch?” you say—barely a whisper. But it’s sharp around the edges, panicked despite how hard you try to keep it steady.

There’s a thump from the kitchen. Then footsteps, fast and sure across the creaking floor.

“Yeah?” His voice cuts through the dark, close now.

You don’t answer. Can’t.

Because it’s too much—the wind, the dark, the memories crawling out of the corners. And god, you almost scream. It bubbles up, fast and hot and ready to crack.

But you bite it back.

You clench your fists. Swallow it down.

“Hey,” Haymitch says again, closer this time. “You alright?”

You can’t see him. Not really. Just the vague outline of him in the dim silver of the stormlight, his shape blurry in the lightning’s afterglow.

But that’s enough.

You breathe in—sharp. Then let it out, trembling. “I’m fine,” you lie. “Just—didn’t expect it to be so dark.”

A pause.

Then, quieter. “You sure?”

You nod. Then realize he can’t see you. “Yeah. Just startled me.”

Haymitch doesn’t move for a second. Then he steps closer, and you feel his hand brush your arm—warm, grounding. Not grabbing, just… there.

“C’mere,” he says, voice lower now. Less gruff. “Let’s sit.”

He guides you back to the couch like you might disappear if he’s not careful—hand light on your arm, steps matching yours even though you’re both just walking five feet.

You settle on the cushions, blanket pulled instinctively over your lap even though the room feels hotter now, like the storm’s pressing its breath against the house.

Haymitch sinks down beside you with a quiet grunt. The lightning outside flashes—blue-white and jagged—and a second later, thunder shakes the windows like a warning shot.

You flinch. Just a little. Barely noticeable.

But of course he notices.

You feel it more than see it—the way he shifts closer. Not touching. Just near enough to be solid. Near enough to make it easier to breathe.

“I’ll get candles,” he mutters, already starting to stand.

“No,” you say quickly, fingers catching his sleeve before you can think twice. “It’s fine. Just… stay for a second?”

He pauses.

Then slowly sits back down.

Neither of you says anything for a while. Just the wind shrieking outside, the storm lashing at the roof like it’s trying to claw its way in. Every new crack of thunder feels like it’s aimed at your spine.

You breathe.

In.

Out.

Haymitch doesn’t say anything about the way your leg is shaking. Or how tightly your hands are clenched in the fabric of the blanket.

Instead, he leans back, stretches one arm across the back of the couch behind you. Casual. Natural. Not touching—but close enough that if you needed it, if you wanted it, all you’d have to do is lean in.

“You still think this is perfect storm weather?” he asks after a moment, voice light.

You huff a laugh. It comes out a little watery. “Okay. Maybe slightly less perfect now.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I didn’t think the power would actually go out.”

“That’s what you get for taunting the sky.”

You glance at him sideways. “I was doing science.”

“Oh, sure. That’s what that was.”

“I taught you something.”

“You patted your knees like a wizard and summoned hellfire.”

You smile. “Still accurate.”

Another flash. Another crash. You swallow hard.

His arm shifts slightly behind you—closer now. Still not touching. But it feels like he could. If you asked.

You don’t ask.

But you don’t move away either.

Haymitch sighs eventually, mutters something about not stumbling over furniture in the dark, and stands.

“I’m gonna grab some candles before one of us eats it on a chair leg.”

You nod, trying to play it cool even though your spine feels like it’s been hardwired to the thunder. “Yeah. Good idea.”

But when he starts walking toward the kitchen, you… hesitate.

Then you get up and follow him.

He doesn’t say anything about it—just glances over his shoulder once, eyes catching yours in the dark. There’s a flicker of something there. Understanding, maybe. Or just recognition.

You don’t explain. And he doesn’t ask.

The kitchen’s pitch black, save for the faint light of lightning flickering through the windows. He rummages in a cabinet where he keeps emergency stuff—somewhere behind the duct tape and questionable canned goods.

You hover a few feet behind, blanket still around your shoulders, arms crossed tight like that’ll make you impervious to noise.

And then it happens.

A crack of thunder so loud it doesn’t even sound like thunder—it sounds like the sky split open and dumped war onto the earth. The entire house shakes, a framed photo toppling off the wall behind you with a crack, and your body reacts before your brain can even catch up.

You lunge forward and grab Haymitch’s arm.

Not just grab—latch onto it. Elbow to wrist. Like he’s the last solid thing in the world.

He goes still.

You don’t realize what you’ve done until the next flash of lightning lets you see your hand clutching his bicep like it’s life or death.

“Oh my god,” you whisper, instantly starting to pull away. “Sorry, I—sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

But his other hand comes up, wraps gently around your wrist. Not to stop you. Just to keep you steady.

“You’re fine,” he says softly. “I’ve got you.”

You freeze.

Because those three words land somewhere they shouldn’t—like a weightless promise tucked behind the ribs.

He lets go of your wrist slowly, but your grip stays for another second, maybe two, before you carefully ease away. The air feels weird now. Warmer. Closer.

He clears his throat. “Found ‘em.”

You step back, watching as he sets two small candles on the counter and strikes a match. It flares to life in his hand, golden and small, casting warm light across his face.

You swear your brain short-circuits again.

Because why the hell does he look good by candlelight? That shouldn’t be a thing. And yet.

He lights the first candle, then the second, muttering something under his breath about the Capitol not knowing how to wire a damn house properly.

You try not to stare at his hands again.

You fail.

“So,” you say, just to break the silence. “You do this often? Candlelit vibes and storm ambiance?”

He shrugs. “Just missing the romantic music.”

You grin.

And for a second—for one glowing second—it’s just you and him in a kitchen lit by firelight and thunder, both pretending this is completely normal.

You carry one candle. Haymitch carries the other, muttering about how you’re probably going to burn the house down with your “reckless candle waving.”

You hold it up like a torch. “We are the light in the darkness.”

“You are the darkness.”

“You wound me.”

You both step into the living room like it’s unfamiliar terrain now, shadows moving strange and slow along the walls. The thunder has quieted to a low, steady grumble—still loud, but not rattling the windows anymore. Just constant enough to make your bones hum.

Haymitch sets his candle on the coffee table and squints at the couch.

You drape your blanket back over the cushions with exaggerated grace. “Welcome to my lair.”

“You’re the cryptkeeper.”

“I’ve upgraded. Now I’m the storm spirit.”

“You’re gonna be the smoke alarm’s problem in about five seconds.”

You flop onto the couch and gesture for him to sit beside you. “Come on, sunshine. Let’s wait out the apocalypse in style.”

He raises an eyebrow but doesn’t argue. Just settles beside you with a sigh, the couch dipping under his weight. The glow from the candles flickers between you, warm and uneven, painting his profile in gold and shadow.

For a moment, neither of you speaks. Just the sound of rain, steady and wild against the roof, the occasional distant roll of thunder.

“This is kinda nice,” you admit quietly. “You know. Minus the potential power grid failure.”

He makes a noise in his throat. “You just like it ‘cause it’s dramatic.”

“Exactly.”

“You would thrive in a lightning storm.”

“Thank you.”

“That wasn’t a compliment.”

You grin and tuck your feet under you, watching the way the flame dances in the glass. It smells like old wax and dust and something faintly like pine. The scent makes your chest ache, a little. Something familiar. Something safe.

Haymitch shifts beside you, arm brushing yours again—barely there. But it’s enough. Enough to keep you grounded. Enough to make the dark feel not so scary anymore.

You glance sideways, and he’s already looking at you.

Your breath catches.

“What?” you ask, trying not to sound breathless.

He shrugs. “Just making sure you didn’t spontaneously combust.”

“Give it time,” you say, a little too soft.

His mouth quirks. He doesn’t look away.

Another crash of thunder rolls through the air, closer again. You flinch—just a little. And his hand moves, barely noticeable. Like he’s going to reach for you but stops halfway, fingers curling loosely on his leg instead.

Neither of you comments on it.

Instead, you whisper, “Still scared of the dark.”

And Haymitch, voice rough and warm and quiet, says, “Then I guess I’ll stay ‘til the lights come back.”

You nod.

Not because you need him to.

But because you want him to.

And maybe that’s the scariest part of all.

You don’t look at him when you speak, voice low. “My mom used to lock me in the cellar when I pissed her off. Sometimes for hours. No lights. Just dirt and cold and whatever creaked overhead.”

Haymitch doesn’t move, but his whole posture shifts—like someone flipped a switch in his ribs.

“I’d count,” you say, quieter now. “To keep myself calm. Just… numbers. Over and over. Thought if I got to a hundred enough times, it’d make the time go faster.”

Still nothing from him. Just that steady presence, always solid when it matters.

Then he says, just as low, “The thunder gets me. Sounds like the cannons, sometimes. When it’s loud enough.”

Your head turns.

He’s staring at the candle, not at you. But his hand rests between you—fingers loose on the couch cushion, warm in the golden light.

Without thinking, you reach over.

You don’t just brush against him.

You thread your fingers through his. Interlock them. Like it’s always been that simple.

Haymitch goes still for a second.

Then—he holds on.

You glance down at your hands—your fingers laced with his like it’s the most natural thing in the world. You can feel the roughness of his calluses, the quiet strength in his grip, the warmth.

Haymitch clears his throat after a moment. “Your hand’s freezing.”

“Liar,” you murmur. “Yours is warm. I’m thriving.”

He shifts slightly, his thumb brushing against your knuckles—barely there, probably unintentional, but your brain short-circuits anyway.

“Don’t get used to it,” he mutters, but he doesn’t let go.

You smirk, still watching the candle. “Too late.”

He huffs through his nose. “You’re an emotional liability.”

“And you’re enabling me.”

“Tragic, really.”

Another rumble of thunder shakes the house, and without thinking, you scoot just a little closer. Your shoulder brushes his arm. He doesn’t move away.

You feel bold. Maybe it’s the storm. Maybe it’s the soft golden light or the fact that you’re both letting each other be human for once.

“You know,” you say, voice light, “if you ever need someone to hold your hand during a storm again, I’ll consider accepting applications.”

“Oh yeah?” His voice is dry. “You offering references?”

“I’ve got rave reviews. Very warm. Excellent emotional support. Bit of a flight risk sometimes, but otherwise solid.”

Haymitch shakes his head, but there’s a smile tugging at his mouth now—small, tired, real. “You’re ridiculous.”

“Mm,” you hum. “But not that hard to make room for.”

He glances sideways at you. Doesn’t say anything. Just lets out a breath and leans back into the couch like something in him finally settled.

And you stay like that—hands clasped, thunder rolling, candlelight soft between you.

Next Part

[sgiandubh]

Prophetic

Every single time things look hard to decipher or farcical (and this is one of those farcical times), I remember a long post by @hardblazesong, dealing with BTS aspects and the intricacies of this cesspool of a fandom. I am yet to read something more clear and more bravely stated than the things she wrote almost eight years (!) ago, even if I do not necessarily agree with everything. Especially as far as SC's sexuality is considered and examined, for example - but that is secondary, to me.

Every word in this quoted passage was confirmed by what happened next, for example. And then, some more, if at all possible:

This is exactly what happened, rinse and repeat to oblivion. 'No one above D level status', with the odd lap dancer/Hooters waitress thrown in, for variety. Gross? Effective on the short term perhaps, to quench thirsty/insistent/too close to the real thing rumors and found tidbits, yet damn penalizing on the long run. MPC's dwindling subscription figures are testimony to it, as are the mediocre projects coming his way. And now he sorely needs a seriously good one to keep his rep at a decent level. You see, the entire kilt-cladded, warrior daddy imagery/fantasy is also quietly wearing off, as OL is coming to its merciful end. But believe it or not, S will survive even this life-changing experiment with fame. The key question here is 'how' and I have no definitive answer to it. But I am confident, and this Soroptimist approach of mine will always be my guilty pleasure, as far as S is concerned. Perhaps the only one, since the guy won't ever make me turn my head for him in the street. Not even sorry about that. But as I have already told you, I do like an underdog and know how to spot them, when I see one.

Now, as far as C is concerned, the 'low key thing' turned into the perfectly artificial farce we all know about. It is my sincere belief at least 85% of her Taliban Stan crowd is simply paying lip service to what they chose to believe and are constantly being reminded of by their trolling Sopranos. So much so, in fact, that it all reeks rather of Pollyannaism than critical thinking, no matter how brutal or self-assured they may sound. And at this point in time, with zero communication on the topic and C who apparently DGAF about narrative continuity when it comes to this, it's only fair to say more oil is being quietly, constantly thrown onto those embers of suspicion and legitimate, logical doubt.

As for going political, we all saw what happened with S's Gaza comment, didn't we? Case in point to never cross obvious red lines and allow your own emotions get in a mix you cannot control and which must not have been addressed, to start with. Especially when you are, above anything else, a media product manufactured on purpose for reaching the widest potential audience. MAGA Mommies crowd included.

Also, this:

Again, this is exactly what happened, and consistently so. Proof of this are the multiple times I had to excuse myself to powder my nose in the middle of a Zoom call or meeting, whenever my cellphone was blinking with concerned messages about this or that insignificant turn of an apparently endless, boring and disingenuous AF narrative. Shippers are worried and potentially even hurt every single time a Fitness Harem representative shows up on the roster. S knows that - how could he not, he is part and parcel of it? Trolls know that: in fact, this is their bread and butter in this fandom. And the reason this happens is an unnecessarily cruel and by now pathetic bout of schizophrenic trivia deliberately being thrown in, from time to time, for... eh... for reasons. Whether this is for 'protection' (complete quiet would be way more decent and effective, I think) or diversion, or remaining relevant, or even shits and giggles is entirely secondary, one more time. These allow to address all the factions of this fandom at once, using what are by now some lazy, well-tried and accessible plot devices (SM twisting reality, cheap pap walks, timeline innuendos, etc). Again, this is wrong and harmful, in the long run. It is refusing to see the forest for the trees and completely ignore the fact this is building the wrong persona and the wrong brand. Back to that sore need for a really good project I have mentioned before and own reasoning nicely tied in, thank you.

As for how SC feel about us, shippers, I suppose things are clear. I don't think they like us, and to be blunt, how could they? Mistakes have been repeatedly made, especially when it comes to projecting going completely, tastelessly out of control, the hyper sexualization and objectivation of both S and C (naively dirty fanfic, anyone? come on, we all read it!) and the liberties some took with decency, as far as C is particularly concerned. And by this, I don't mean stalking - that is pushing Covfefe Pics really too far and being a perfect hypocrite about it, when we know the entire faction was demanding proof, on many tones & in many ways and kept on pressuring for something along those lines to happen. To me, however, the most toxic part of it was definitely Jess' unfortunate drooling all over someone else's love story. It definitely had an impact and it was definitely been used as such, until it wasn't. The rest of all that obsessive approach are just spin-offs, but the bad seeds were gleefully planted there and then.

Before landing here, I carefully weighed in my options. And I chose to be primarily interested in business and legal paperwork simply because it so happened that an irritated reaction while on an Athens taxi ride prompted my arrival here. Then I realized it was the only way to bring something new to an already stalling body of public lore and keep it simple and real. What I did discover and what the trolls across the street chose to dismiss as trash is, in fact, evidence enough of the chasm that exists between what people are being served and supposed to gobble up, no questions asked, and a reality that certainly is more nuanced. This is what really makes me tick and this is why I am still here, while there are so many more useful and enjoyable ways to keep myself busy.

Rest assured, though: I am not going anywhere, even if from time to time life and a very strenuous job take precedence. I hope you can understand this. In the meanwhile, you have been so many witty, kind and warm people coming along my path, that I would feel like betraying you (and myself!) if I went away. And no, I have never felt more sure about SC than probably now, even if this 'SC' doesn't necessarily coincide with your own version of that saga.

Newbies can read the entire @hardblazesong's post here: https://www.tumblr.com/hardblazesong/678440162606350336/the-time-has-come-shipsters-to-write-a-lengthy?source=share

Thank you for reading this very long comment, summing up all the thoughts that nagged me while I was simultaneously translating and slaloming between my two mother tongues, while in Tunis. I am rather good at compartmentalization, you see. This post is also a clumsy homage of sorts to all the brilliant, brave and bold women, past and present, of The Shire, who have tried and managed to see beyond the thick veil of deceit this entire #shitshow is. The fact so many of us, across so many cultures and personal circumstances, saw the same damn thing and questioned it with integrity and wit, should be arresting evidence there are more things.

PS: I think we can all agree on the fact the Biggest Troll in this fandom is 'Erself, the Flip-Flop Blue Nailpolish Goddess. But that's a different story.

[alba-tros-s]

"The trusted knight of the propheticed one. She seems awfully dim standing next to the blinding shimmer of the one... But it might be wrong to misjudge her potential..."

-The New Gods of the Grand Hall

D'arce won the poll, with Enki being in second place, so here we are, I hope y'all enjoy!! ♥️

[coraniaid]

The thing about Kendra is that ... okay. There is a version of the show in my head in which both meeting and then failing to save Kendra are huge, pivotal moments in Buffy's life. They should both have had a huge impact on her. Kendra is the first other Slayer Buffy ever meets, the embodiment of everything Buffy has been told a Slayer should be, a challenge to Buffy's sense of her self as "the one and only Chosen" [as, of all people, Faith will put it five years later].

Becoming (Part 1) even teases the idea that Kendra's death will be a turning point in Buffy's story. "Even if you see them coming, you're not ready for the big moments," Whistler narrates in voice over as Buffy rushes back to the library. "Nobody asks for their life to change [...] but it does," he says, as Buffy finds Kendra lying dead on the floor and tearfully takes her hand. "It's what you do afterwards that counts," he tells us. The framing here is pretty clear: what are we meant to do but assume that Kendra's death is a "big moment" that will change Buffy's life forever?

I don't think I can imagine writing a version of Buffy who isn't fundamentally changed by this moment. Who isn't thinking about Kendra when she takes the bus out of Sunnydale, or when Angel comes back from hell next season, or when Drusilla comes back to Sunnydale three years later. Who isn't reminded of her almost every time she sees Faith: who isn't thinking about her when she insists to her skeptical Watcher and her friends that, no matter what, this time she's going to find a way to save her fellow Slayer. Who isn't thinking about what Kendra told her about being raised by her Watcher and never having anything resembling a normal life when she confronts Quentin Travers in Helpless or Checkpoint. Who isn't thinking at least a little bit about Kendra when she complains in The Gift how hard it is to live in a world where "everything gets stripped away". Who isn't missing her dead friend all through Season 7, and wondering whether Kendra -- who read the handbook and knew all the rules -- would have done a better job leading the Potentials than she could.

Only, well. Hand on heart, I don't think this is an accurate description of what canonically happens on screen after Season 2. In the version of the show that I like to think about, Kendra is important and her life and her death matter enormously. But in the version of the show that was actually filmed and aired ... well, like Whistler says, it's what you do afterwards that counts. And what the show does after Becoming is to almost immediately forget Kendra ever existed. Nobody but Cordelia ever says her name out loud (and even that's just a single throwaway line to get the audience up to speed about Faith). Buffy never mentions where "Mr Pointy" came from to anyone; she never mentions Kendra to Faith or Dawn or any of the Potentials. Kendra doesn't show up in dreams or prophetic visions; we don't see her alive in the alternate reality of The Wish or trapped in a clinic alongside 'the real' Buffy in Normal Again; the First Evil never bothers to take on her appearance. The closest we ever get to coming back to Buffy finding her body in the library -- that "big moment" that was going to change Buffy's life -- are a couple of lines in Dead Man's Party where Joyce and Oz note that the police no longer suspect Buffy of Kendra's murder ("oh, good," says Buffy, "that was such a drag").

I can't imagine writing a version of the show where Kendra didn't matter, but I don't have to: that's the version that actually got written.

And yeah, that's infuriating -- like so much else about how Kendra was treated by the show -- but I think if you start talking about how much Kendra's death means to Buffy you do need to acknowledge that you're not talking about the version of the show that everybody else actually watched. Kendra really isn't haunting the narrative in any meaningful way. I wouldn't be surprised if most casual fans of the show don't remember she existed. For that matter, I genuinely don't think some of the people writing for the show in its last few seasons remembered she existed. It almost feels like an insult to Bianca Lawson to pretend that the show that treated her and the character she played with so little respect actually always intended her to have this huge posthumous importance (and ... I guess ... just kept forgetting to invite her back?).

Even her last name -- Kendra Young, we were told after the show ended -- feels like a bit of an odd afterthought. One of the few things the show told us about Kendra was that she didn't remember her parents and didn't have a last name. But, well. Why would the writers of the show suddenly start caring about little things like that?

[year2000electronics]

This is a post detailing the full timeline of my Mario AU, Fate of the Stars! Full thing under the cut- it's a bit of a long read, but I hope you enjoy!

THE BEGINNING

The seven Star Spirits have always been there, watching from above… watching with love. Many things in the FOTS world have happened because someone made a wish. Wishing magic is some of the most potent there is. 

TIME OF THE DINOSAURS

Hey, this is where the Yoshis and Koopas’ common ancestors are from!

…Alright, that’s it. NEXT! 

TIME OF THE ANCIENTS

Two distinct factions of humans are formed. Magicians who rely on spell-casting to get things done, and regular old humans who rely on the natural fauna around them to get things done. 

The magicians have a fight that splits them into two: the Ancients and the Tribe of Darkness. 

The magicians eventually get so secretive that they ban basically anyone else from entering into their fold. This happens over centuries.

Amidst all this fighting, the Tribe of Darkness creates the Dark Prognosticus, a prophecy that is set to doom the world. The Ancients create the Light Prognosticus to try and counter it- though only the Dark Prognosticus is TRULY prophetic.

In both prophecies, four heroes are predicted to save the world. These heroes are known as the “Star Children”, and legend says that when they get delivered by a stork (because that ends up being how babies are made here…), they will each come with a mystical star charm that will give them power and guide them on their way.

Both prophecies mention the “Man in Green” as the ideal host for the Chaos Heart that would end all worlds- although in the Light Prognosticus, it is said that the Man in Green has the potential to decide which prophecy becomes true. 

Only the Dark Prognosticus mentions this, but allegedly, one of the heroes would be the “Dark Star Child”, the one destined to turn against the heroes and act as their final opponent. Prophecy scholars across the years have debated which of the heroes would be this Dark Star Child. In the modern era, the common belief is that it would be the “Furious monster king”, although there are one or two fringe theorists who believe the Dark Star Child is one and the same as the Man in Green.

Also happening over thousands of years, the humans who keep using the land’s mushrooms to “power-up” eventually evolve into the Toad species, the mushroom DNA intermingling with theirs causing them to shrink down and gain mushroom cap-like appendages on their heads. We know this species today as “Toads”!

Toads grow to revere the ancient humans of their past and view tallness and “Tall Toads” as a status symbol. A Toad forges the Super Crown, something gifted to a royal and their partner to give them the appearance of a regular human. 

The Tribe of Darkness’ interaction with so much dark magic also changes them. Now they are shadow beings, distinct from humans. 

Regular humans still exist, though, but as the years go on, they become fewer and fewer. 

Koopas become sentient after many Ancients and Darkness Members alike began to keep them as pets, and just like Toads, the lingering effects of being close to magic helps them evolve. They form a kingdom of their own, and the idea of “pet Koopas” quickly becomes abolished.

Sometime during this time are the reigns of Pharaoh Shroomses and Captain T. Ode.

Also during this period, Power Mushrooms are bred with GMOs to make their effects less harmful to human DNA, even if the Toads can never go back.

THE REIGN OF SHADOWS

Three sisters belonging to the Tribe of Darkness- Vesper, Jaydes, and Cerise- become so powerful that they ascend to immortal demonhood. They then proceed to shroud the land in darkness. They forge eight Crystal Stars during their reign to make themselves even more powerful and practically impossible to kill. (They draw this power from the Star Spirits.)

The land is shrouded in darkness for quite some time.

The youngest sister, Cerise, is tasked with hiding the eight Crystal Stars where nobody can find them. Her first hiding place is the eighth Crystal Star, which she chooses to always wear as a necklace. Along the way, however, she falls in love with a hero who’s trying to stop her, a “human” vagabond named Russ Toadstool. It causes her to have a change of heart. Later in the journey, Russ shamefully reveals to her that he’s actually not a human, and is instead Toad royalty who hid his Super Crown under his bandana. Cerise, laughing, assures him she loves him no matter what he looks like. 

She and Russ agree to get married, and Cerise casts away her demonic form to live as a powerless human. Unfortunately, this seems to impact the Crystal Star she carries with her, as it has transformed into a powerful yet disconnected artifact known as the Cobalt Star. She refuses to tell anyone what it does and always keeps it on her.

In the meantime, Jaydes, the middle sister, takes control of the Underwhere forcibly, wrenching it from the grasp of Grambi. She originally intended on commanding an undead army to bring up to the living world, and was waiting for Grambi to be caught off guard.

Four heroes, Russ included, journey far and wide collecting the Crystal Stars using Cerise’s guidance on where she hid them. Then, they use them to seal away the last remaining Shadow Sister- Vesper, the Shadow Queen.

Seeing this, Jaydes quietly decides to just accept a part as Queen of the Underwhere. (Over centuries, she and Grambi fall in love.)

MR. AND MRS. TOADSTOOL

Russ and Cerise’s lifespan extends far beyond human or Toad lifespans. They end up living for almost a thousand years, and still look as young as the day they met! …Does Cerise have anything to say about that??

“Hee hee! I guess being a hero just keeps you young!”

Around 980 or so years pass, with Russ and Cerise’s reign being the longest recorded reign in Toad history. It makes sense! They’re good rulers and people like them!

Meanwhile with the Koopas, they’ve grown to have a steady rivalry with the Mushroom Kingdom. They bring about kinda dumb and not-very-good-at-planning heirs and that’s about it for them. 

At some point during this era (probably near the tail-end), Blumiere and Timpani have their whole devastating romance thing! Yay! 

…And that’s it for the most part! (Though knowing how complex this can get, I may have to add more sometime.)

But after a long and peaceful reign, Russ and Cerise decide it’s finally time to have… a baby.

A STAR IS BORN

Russ and Cerise give birth to a baby girl they name Peach. She’s fully human, thanks to Cerise giving up her power ages ago, and even if she might have some Toad DNA- well, it certainly isn’t enough to make her look like one.

During this time, two human babies are born to a humble young couple! Their names, as you may know, are Mario and Luigi!

Also during this time, the next heir to the Koopa throne is born- and though he may be small now, in the future, little Bowser will soon be the biggest Koopa anyone’s ever seen…

Each of these babies come delivered with star charms. Mario and Luigi’s charms are two halves of one star, symbolizing their closeness as brothers. For baby Peach, she eventually had hers made into a pair of star earrings. And finally, for little Bowser, his star was carefully cut into five parts and fashioned around a collar to serve as spikes. (This obtuse placement would lead people to not realize that Bowser was the fourth star child for years, up to the very last moments.)

THE ORIGINAL SHROOB INVASION

A planet full of hostiles known as the Shroobs descends upon the Mushroom Kingdom, trying to take them by force and possibly drain them of all their vim and all that freaky deaky stuff. 

The Shroobs almost have the royals cornered, particularly the Elder Princess Shroob has Cerise and Russ on the ropes. Cerise realizes that if she finds a way to attack the Elder, the Shroobs will fail to have any orders on what to do next. Doing that, her and Russ agree to make the ultimate sacrifice. 

Cerise pulls the Cobalt Star off of her neck and raises it up, trapping Elder Princess Shroob in there- but also trapping herself in the process. She expects to never come out- and so to the world, she is dead. 

The Shroobs all scatter, now without a queen to rule them. They flee, tails between their legs. The kingdom is safe, but at the cost of their beloved queen. 

Whatever Cerise was doing to extend Russ and her lifespans, it clearly isn’t happening anymore. Russ falls very ill very quickly and starts rapidly aging. He shuts himself away from the kingdom, knowing he wouldn’t want his subjects seeing something so agonizing.

In his few dying days, he smiles, entrusting his advisor Toadsworth to the most important mission of his life.

“Toadsworth… take care of her. Alright?” 

“My baby… my Peach.”

Russ dies. Toadsworth is now the acting royal of the Mushroom Kingdom until Peach is of age to make decisions on her own.

The Cobalt Star is locked away in the basement of the castle. Everyone is sworn to secrecy about it.

YOSHI’S ISLAND

Hey! Welcome to the first actual VIDEO GAME in this timeline! Fed up with my antics yet?!

Seeing that the Mushroom Kingdom is in disarray after the Shroob invasion, the acting ruler of the Koopa kingdom, Kamek, acts fast. The previous royals were killed somehow, and though he has Lord Bowser to take care of, he wants something more. Since he was present to see the baby king, he knows that Bowser is one of the four Star Children, and knows that if Bowser was born, the other three must not be very far behind. He should eliminate these obstacles to the Koopa kingdom’s potential great reign… and he should do it fast.

He orders troops to kidnap every baby in the Mushroom Kingdom they can find, and these babies happen to include Mario and Luigi in their ranks. 

Although Luigi is successfully kidnapped, Mario is rescued by a tribe of friendly Yoshis, who all agree to help baby Mario get his brother back, cos he’s just so cute! And… surely this child, blessed by the stars, with the star necklace… could only bring them good fortune. 

When Kamek finds Luigi, he eagerly pulls out Luigi’s star necklace, elated that he found one of the Star Children, but- ah. Why’s this star purple? …Must be one of his rotten minions who busted it. Unless… This was the mysterious Dark Star Child? Well- either way. He’s either covering for his idiot minions, or… Well… If this WAS the Dark Star Child… Perhaps he wouldn’t rise up and take over Lord Bowser’s plans if he never knew he was the Dark Star Child.

While deciding what he should actually do with Luigi, Kamek places a fairly strong cloaking spell on Luigi’s purple star necklace that makes it appear as if it’s gold like Mario’s. He tells no one about this, not even Bowser. (I’d remember this moment if I were you. Who knows if it might crop up later?)

STARRY CHILDHOODS

Mario and Luigi grow up in the Mushroom Kingdom, thanks to their parents living in the rural country. Their parents were close personal friends with Toadsworth, so they would often bring Mario and Luigi over for playdates with the young princess Peach. They all realized their kids were three of the fabled Star Children, but decided not to tell them so their lives would be peaceful and they wouldn’t be burdened with a sense of great responsibility. 

Bowser, meanwhile, is getting trained by Kamek and the rest of the Koopa kingdom to be a powerful heir to try and finally dethrone the Mushroom Kingdom as the leading monarchy. Kamek’s a bit of a hardass who believes that the Koopa kingdom can rise above the Star Children prophecy if they rule the world before anything can happen to it.

Mario and Luigi get bullied on the playground by their cousin :( 

Eventually, word travels around that a wrecking crew led by a human named Spike are building a city for the remaining humans of the world to congregate known as New Donk City. Although the population is currently small, they hope to make a bustling metropolis, and Mario’s parents are more than happy to join them. They move away, taking the brothers with them, and they lose contact with the Toadstool family. 

DONKEY KONG

Hi! Welcome to the adult era! The bros are in their 20s now, and attempting to do what every up-and-coming youngin dreams of: Starting a business! That is to say, a plumbing business…  They go for gold, quitting Mayor Spike’s wrecking crew (their cousin Wario complains because he busted his ass getting that job for them) and trying to start the Super Mario Bros. plumbing company.

Mario’s girlfriend at the time, Pauline, is kidnapped by a rampaging beast known as Donkey Kong. The mayor of the city, Spike, apparently captured the Kong to use his incredible strength to do things like demolish old buildings. Poor guy! 

Nobody’s sure what to do, but at just the right time… Mario rises to the occasion, climbing all the girders and dodging barrels to fight the beast and get back his girlfriend. 

Mario is hailed as a hero! Their plumbing business immediately booms, and everyone just can’t seem to get enough of Mr. Jumpman. Spike is ousted as the mayor for his abuse of animals and also pissing off the Kong Country, dude, why the hell did you do that. 

As the search for a new mayor begins, things heat up for Mario. People seem to keep calling their business not for plumbing, but to try and get Mr. Jumpman to do more and more extreme favours for them, or just to try and get a photo and an autograph. (Poor Luigi usually silently gets handed the camera…) The pressure really starts getting to Mario, and he and Pauline end up breaking up, seeing as the people of New Donk City are REALLY trying to push for them to get married so they can be the “perfect sweethearts” after he rescued her. 

Mario’s had enough. He and Luigi move away from New Donk, and decide to try starting their business back home- back in the Mushroom Kingdom. 

SUPER MARIO BROS.

(...That’s a bit of a misnomer. Mario is the only one going on this adventure.) 

Mario and Luigi’s plumbing business is going really well! So well, in fact, that the princess of the Mushroom Kingdom herself has invited them to come fix her pipes… Could she be? The cute little girl they talked to so many years ago?

The bros arrive at Peach’s castle, and they catch up with a now-adult Peach, who Mario immediately falls for. He’s trying not to rush anything, especially after the Pauline fiasco, so he tries to hide his crush, but the two of them are getting along really well! 

Suddenly, in the middle of Mario and Luigi’s plumbing job, a giant monster bursts through the wall- it’s none other than Bowser, king of the Koopas. After years of being raised and trained to become the perfect heir for the Koopa kingdom, he’s ready to strike, kidnapping the princess as leverage to try and get the Mushroom Kingdom to surrender. 

Mario can’t help himself- he sees someone in need and SPRINGS INTO ACTION! He chases off after Bowser, venturing across the land to try and find him in the Koopa kingdom to rescue the princess.

…Luigi, naturally, stays behind, too meek to try, and assumes that Mario was just better-suited for the job. After all, LUIGI wasn’t the one who beat Donkey Kong… Maybe he can start off with something smaller next time… Yeah… Next time. 

Mario rescues the princess and beats Bowser, and gets a kiss on the nose and a cake for his trouble! The Toad citizens all welcome him back, but thanks to the Mushroom Kingdom having a much smaller population density, he actually finds it quite nice.

 Mario realizes something- that Bowser isn’t going to go away, is he? And everywhere he goes, the vulnerable, the innocent, his FRIENDS… They need someone to help them. Mario knows what he needs to do. He hangs up his plunger permanently, deciding to become a full-time hero.

…And Luigi can stay home and do the laundry!

SUPER MARIO BROS. 2

Mario has a dream where he and his friends go on an adventure! Wow! The baddie at the end of the road is some bat thing called Antasma? Who says he’s going to feed off Mario’s nightmares? Too bad Mario stomps him almost immediately. Guess his dreams were too happy… Better luck next game, buddy. 

SUPER MARIO BROS. 3

Bowser’s pride is wounded after his humiliating defeat at the hands of Mario. He decides to put out a summons in his kingdom calling for more minions to join his side- a royal army. To his surprise, someone answers his call, but it’s not any minion he was expecting… Instead, he sees seven starry-eyed orphans, proclaiming themselves to be eager recruits in Bowser’s new army- The Koopalings. This is hopeless. How’s Bowser going to get anything done with these clowns?! Still, for some reason, he feels a pang of something deep in his heart, a feeling deep down of knowing what it’s like to be a kid with no real parent figures… He steals the wands of seven of Kamek’s head Magikoopas and entrusts them to the Koopalings (much to Kamek’s dismay), telling them to go conquer seven of the Mushroom Kingdom’s neighboring countries, and they do. 

Meanwhile, Peach is fretting over letters from these other counties, begging her for help as all their leaders have been turned into animals. Before she can do anything, of course, she’s kidnapped by Bowser. During her tenure, she feigns innocence to Bowser and keeps asking about his “new soldiers”, getting Bowser to tell her all about them. She secretly sends Mario letters warning him on each new Koopaling’s ability. 

Mario manages to defeat the Koopalings and get the princess back from Bowser. Kamek is mad at Bowser for stealing the magic wands, but is honestly impressed with how adept the Koopalings are at Magikoopa magic. He decides to take them on as his apprentices, and only forges two replacement wands- One for himself, and one for his second-in-command, Kammy Koopa. 

SUPER MARIO LAND

Mario gets a distress call from Sarasaland, one of the kingdoms he just helped save from the Koopalings. This time, instead of their ruler being turned into an animal, their princess- Daisy- has been kidnapped by an alien named Tatanga! Of course, Mario is happy to help, so he goes off on another quest to help her. 

Most of the bosses of this land are just repeat visits from Mario’s cousin, Wario, who’s being paid off by Tatanga to be a nuisance. Mario is so tired of this. He wants Wario to go back to New Donk City and leave him alone. Please.

Mario saves Daisy, and the two of them become good friends! Daisy reveals she’s more of a warrior princess than anything, and would be glad to help pitch in on Mushroom Kingdom protection whenever she can. Mario says he’ll keep in touch.

SUPER MARIO WORLD

Mario is cashing in that offer IMMEDIATELY. He asks Daisy if she can keep an eye on the Mushroom Kingdom for a bit so he, Luigi, and Peach can take a well-needed vacation further into the rural country. As it turns out, this was a terrible idea, because the Koopalings were spying on him this whole time and immediately chase after them with Bowser to kidnap Peach when she has her guard down. DAMMIT! 

Mario and Luigi realize very quickly, though, they came to this place for a reason, even if it was subconscious… This is the land of the Yoshis! Although the original Yoshis who took care of them are quite old now, they meet a young Yoshi about their age who agrees to help rescue the princess. (That is THE Yoshi now, but I don’t really do much with him. But he’s here!)

Mario and Yoshi go off to rescue Peach. Luigi says “no really I’ll stay here don’t worry about me”. 

After this adventure, Bowser finally bites the bullet and officially signs the adoption papers to make the 7 Koopalings his children. 

SUPER MARIO 64

Another day, another slay for Super Mario. Peach kidnapped, you know the drill. But THIS time, Bowser has turned the entire castle into HAUNTED PAINTINGS! Mario’s adventure will take him no further than the castle gates, but boy, will it make him work up a sweat regardless. 

The only major thing of note here is that in Big Boo’s Haunt, a certain boo meets Mario for the first time… And he takes note of the power of paintings. He wonders- If there’s a way to get Mario in a painting… perhaps there’s a way… to keep him there… 

Luigi is at home baking a nice quiche. 

SUPER MARIO RPG

Mario has to help Geno repair the Star Road after Smithy broke it, or else the Star Spirits won’t be able to grant wishes or anything! 

Peach and Bowser also agree to help. Bowser is reluctant but agrees.

Geno recognizes Mario, Peach and Bowser as three of the Star Children, but doesn’t really care to ask where the fourth one is because he’s got other shit he really wants to be dealing with right now.

MALLOW IS ALSO THERE.

PAPER MARIO 64

Bowser, immediately after helping repair the Star Road, goes right back up there to steal the Star Rod from the Star Spirits and grant his own wishes of invincibility. THAT BASTARD.

Not much to say here as of right now. It’s Paper Mario. Kammy Koopa is there. Peach is kidnapped.

In this version, the Star Spirits do recognize Mario as one of the Star Children, though- the “child blessed by the stars”! Yes, they remember him. They consider themselves as part of Mario’s family, in a way. After all, they were always looking out for him. Who do you think made sure he got dropped off with the Yoshis? Who do you think gave him all those invincibility stars? 

Luigi stays at home. He’s getting increasingly frustrated that he missed the “being a hero” boat, and now it’s a self-feeding cycle of him being left at home. He makes a wish, with all his heart, that one day, he’ll be allowed to shine just as bright as Mario…

LUIGI’S MANSION

Normally, the Boos were some of the lowest class of species in the Koopa kingdom’s court. They were shy. They were wishy-washy. Nobody paid any mind to them. But one day, a shooting star fell from the sky, and landing on the ground was a magnificent jewel that seemed to be from the stars itself. Big Boo, the one from Super Mario 64, as the leader of the boos, fashioned a wonderful crown out of the gem, and once he put it on… it gave him power unimaginable. 

Re-christening himself King Boo, he constructs a mansion near the lab of the annoying ghost-hunter Professor E. Gadd as part of his grand scheme. He filled it with portrait ghosts, with inspiration from Bowser’s haunted paintings and help from the ghostly painter Vincent Van Gore. And then came the piece de resistance… Unlike that fool, Bowser, his first move wouldn’t be to kidnap the princess. No. He would instead kidnap… the plumber. 

Mario gets a flier in the mail, saying he’s won a FREE MANSION! WOW!!! He eagerly lets Luigi know, and goes on ahead to accept his new house- he can’t wait to move in! 

Luigi waits for him to get back. And waits… and waits… Aaaand waaaiiits… 

…Mario isn’t coming back. It’s been days. Maybe he finally abandoned Luigi and went off to be a hero forever- No. No way. He should check the mansion. He should. Right? Yes. So, with legs shaking like jelly, he packs his bags, and prepares to go see his brother…

Of course, Luigi finds a mansion full of ghosts, and helps rescue E. Gadd from their pranks. He ends up defeating all the portrait ghosts in the mansion, and even survives the horrifying realization that Mario is trapped in a PAINTING! 

Luigi beats King Boo, feeling like he just barely survived, and a stunned Mario hugs him for at LEAST five minutes, sobbing into his shoulder that he’s so proud of Luigi.

Luigi quietly mumbles that he would maybe like to go on an adventure with Mario next time Peach gets kidnapped. Mario agrees, saying he’s sorry he didn’t reach out sooner and felt like he was just trying to protect Luigi. Now, he sees Luigi doesn’t need protecting, and can be a hero in his own right!

WARIOWARE INC.: MEGA MICROGAME$ 

WOW AN INTERLUDE!!!!! This is basically the only Wario game on the list, so enjoy it. I might do a Wario Land at some point to include Captain Syrup. If I’m feeling generous. Wario returns to New Donk City after the events of Super Mario Land and this is what he’s been up to: Collecting a gang of misfits to have them work for him for MEAGER WAGES. 

The microgames are a big hit, though! 

Waluigi probably works for Wario in this universe.

SUPER MARIO SUNSHINE

It’s time for you to put your money where your mouth is, Mario! Mario, Luigi, Peach, Toadsworth, and a few Toads are on vacation to the luxurious Isle Delfino, hoping that they can kick back and relax FOR ONCE after the haunted mansion fiasco. Unfortunately, two things are happening: First of all, the isle is covered in this icky paint-like goop (It’s moving!) (Now now boys, don’t touch that stuff!), and second of all, an impostor is running around wearing MARIO’s face?! MARIO HAS BEEN ARRESTED?!

Despite Luigi and Peach’s objections, Mario is declared guilty, and his sentence is to clean up the entire island. But how is Mario going to do THAT?!

Luigi is here to help! He explains that Professor E. Gadd occasionally gives him presents in the form of wacky inventions, and Luigi brought his latest one along because he hadn’t had time to unbox it yet. When he does, it’s almost too perfect- It’s a robotic nozzle machine known as F.L.U.D.D.! 

As Mario works hard to clean up the Isle (Peach and Luigi have tried to help, but the Piantas yell at them for it.), Luigi takes on some missions of his own trying to uncover the identity of the mysterious Shadow Mario. Nobody sets up his bro like that and gets away with it! 

Peach, meanwhile, tries to convince the locals to rally with Mario… to varying success.

The Koopalings are probably around Isle Delfino somewhere, but they’re not actually attacking Mario or anything, most of them just seem to be relaxing and enjoying the island. It’s only clumsy Morton who lets slip that they’re purposely staying back to “LET NEW GUY HAVE HIS FUN”. …WHO’S THE NEW GUY?!

Luigi and Mario’s quests meet up when Peach is kidnapped and taken to Pinna Park, where Shadow Mario reveals himself to be… BOWSER JR?! 

That’s right. Bowser just couldn’t get enough of that fatherhood and had another kid through ASEXUAL REPRODUCTION VIA A STORK. DO NOT INQUIRE ABOUT THIS FURTHER. Of course, Kammy Koopa spoils him rotten despite Kamek’s protests (and outlawing giving him a magic wand), so she commissions a paintbrush invention from E. Gadd that allows Jr. to create magic graffiti that can help him, harm others, and, importantly, disguise him as people.

Jr. is convinced that Peach is his mother. This is bad. Peach eventually gets yanked away by Bowser to go, like, sit in a hot tub. Mario and Luigi chase after him, with Mario using F.L.U.D.D to destroy the hot tub and with Luigi tasked with getting Peach off of that hot tub before it falls. 

Everyone winds up safe, except F.L.U.D.D, but with Luigi’s help, he makes a miraculous recovery! 

Mario asks Luigi when he got so good at tinkering. Luigi admits it was his primary hobby when Mario was off on his adventures, and E. Gadd just helped him hone his abilities.

Bowser and Jr. return home, defeated. Jr. admits he knows Peach isn’t really his mama, but was having so much fun fighting Mario he didn’t want to stop. The Koopalings are all super proud of their baby sibling and welcome him to the team. 

MARIO & LUIGI: SUPERSTAR SAGA

IT’S A MULTI-KINGDOM AFFAIR! When two ambassadors from the neighboring Beanbean Kingdom show up and offer a gift to Princess Peach, everything goes haywire when her voice gets stolen! The assailants reveal their true identities- the evil witch Cackletta and her cronie Fawful! They seek to activate the Beanstar, an artifact that can grant wishes (Star Spirits, I’m looking at you suspiciously…) that was put into a deep sleep and can only be awoken with a pure voice. 

Mario and Luigi are on the case! Their journey takes them across the strange cultural frontier of the Beanbean Kingdom, meeting up with Queen Bean and the young Prince Peasley- who seems to have taken quite a fancy to Luigi! Most of the wackiness is part of their long, drawn-out plan to make sure Peach is alright, as well as chasing after Cackletta and Fawful.

Cackletta gets the shit beat out of her by the bros at Woohoo Hooniversity, but we’re just getting started. Fawful sucks up her essence, and through Shenanigans, she ends up possessing the body of Bowser, going by Bowletta. Yes, this gives Bowser boobs for some reason. Yes, this is as weird as it sounds.

Although the bros try their best to out-maneuver and trick Bowletta at every turn, eventually, the cards do fall in her favour, and the bros are forced to do a final gauntlet into Bowletta’s castle, which includes fighting the Koopalings as well as Fawful himself, who seems like he’s had it up to here with Cackletta’s mistreatment of him. 

The bros go inside Bowletta to fight Cackletta’s Spirit, she flips them off whenever she attacks, they beat her, Bowser is fine, Peach gets her voice back, Luigi and Peasley make out sloppy style, THE END. 

PRINCESS PEACH: SHOWTIME!

You didn’t hear this from me, but this is kinda a fusion between Princess Peach Showtime and Super Princess Peach. I will not be adapting the Vibe Scepter. It’s mostly an adaptation of Showtime, but with the idea that SPP had that Mario and Luigi get kidnapped.

Before Bowser can even brainstorm up his next plan (Yes, because we all know it’s coming!), the Mushroom Kingdom finds itself encased in a dome of enchantment, turning all its citizenry into nothing but stage actors, mere puppets for the one, the only, MADAME GRAPE! She seeks to put on the greatest show the world’s ever seen- one that never ends! 

Mario and Luigi are down for the count, of course, but it seems that something within Peach is keeping her safe… She doesn’t know why, but she feels the urge to look up to the stars and thank her late mother. 

Now, Peach must embark on a journey as the only one left, and rescue the brothers she’s come to care so much about. Will she do it…? Or will it be curtains for her? 

SUPER MARIO BROS. WONDER

DID SOMEBODY SAY BOWSER?! (No, nobody said Bowser.) 

Mario and co. get invited to another of the Mushroom Kingdom’s neighboring kingdoms, the Flower Kingdom (If you’re counting, now that makes around 3 neighboring kingdoms that Mario probably visited during Mario 3!) by Prince Florian. This time, it’s not an act of hostility… but this time, Bowser invites himself along, turning himself into Castle Bowser with the weird and wacky power of the Wonder Flower. 

Jr., Kamek, Kammy, and the Koopalings also get the fun effects of the Wonder flower, and are now wreaking havoc across the kingdom! Who can possibly help us?! 

WHY, PRINCESS DAISY, OF COURSE! She was part of this cross-kingdom party too! Now, Mario, Luigi, Peach and Daisy all get to go on a wonderful adventure! (...Pretty standard aside from all the Alice In Wonderland nonsense, though!)

PAPER MARIO: STICKER STAR

Whew! That all has been nuts, huh? Isn’t it time we just got a stupid fucking adventure? 

 Peach decides to throw a STICKER FEST!! A festival dedicated to stickers! With a fist clenched, with an eye twitching, after two or three different ruined vacations, she says surely you all know that we can’t mess up with something as simple as a STICKER FESTIVAL. Right?

Wrong. 

As it turns out, the Sticker Comet that passes by once every millenium is called the Sticker Star, and holds a race of sentient, hedonistic stickers on them. They love to grant wishes- (THE STAR SPIRITS SWEAR IT’S ACTUALLY NOT THEM THIS TIME.) But the stickers’ wishes are twisted, and never really get you what you want, aiming to turn you into a powerful being they can catch a ride on to feed off your energy. They have something of a cosmic rivalry with the Star Spirits, and normally stay away from the Mushroom Kingdom so they won’t fight more, but… 

 Bowser just had to Bowser it up, didn’t he? He crashes Sticker Fest, thinking that it’s just some dumb thing the princess is doing, but once he touches the Sticker Comet that just landed, well… you know. The six Royal Stickers go zooming away- one lands on him, and he starts going nuts for power. Alright, man, you go have fun with that! Peach also gets kidnapped. Alright, man.

Mario and Luigi reluctantly set out on an adventure to go get those stickers back- and they’re constantly tailed by a bratty little sticker named Kersti, who reveals she’s next in line to be one of the Royal Stickers, once she’s of age to succeed her dad. And she thinks the Mario bros are smelly and should stop getting in the way of the Royal Sticker Court.

Along the way, they beat up five of Bowser’s minions who have gone nuts with power- A preteen Goomba who wished to be stronger for Bowser’s army, a Pokey who wished to not be so lonely, a Blooper who wished for fame (Hey, hasn’t Mario yanked that guy’s tentacles off before?), a snowman who wished to not melt, and a Piranha Plant who wished for… more food. 

Kersti slowly realizes that the wishes her people give are the furthest thing from benevolent, and in the final battle, sacrifices herself so her father, the last Royal Sticker, can be removed from Bowser.

Hooray! The day is saved! Everybody would like a nice nap now please.

LUIGI’S MANSION: THE LAST RESORT

I had to change the title because I am putting a game called “Luigi’s Mansion 3” after a game called “Luigi’s Mansion 2”.

After their stupidest adventure yet, Peach and the Mario bros are all too happy to check into an all-expenses-paid five-star hotel after they get a letter inviting them to go. After all, Bowser seemed pretty wiped, too, and who else would be out there to get them? Cackletta? No, she’s super-dead. Wario? No, he’s too busy on the grindset. King Boo? Ha! No, he’s trapped in a painting! 

The group get greeted by a bunch of cheery-but-stiff-faced bellhops, as well as the owner of the hotel herself, who insists you just call her Hellen. They all get comfortable for their stay, and separate for the night. 

…Luigi wakes up in a cold sweat. Something is very wrong. He just has a gut feeling. He looks around the hotel, trying to find Mario and Peach, but to no avail. The entire hotel seems darker, somehow. Suddenly, he’s face to face with a grinning Hellen, who backs away to reveal- Not only is she a ghost, but she broke King Boo out of his painting because she’s his BIGGEST fan. King Boo reveals that he’s trapped Mario and Peach in paintings, and wants to save the best for last- The meddling plumber who GOT HIM SHUT AWAY IN THE FIRST PLACE!! 

Luigi manages to escape, and on the first floor, finds E. Gadd who is once again caught in the crosshairs. Now, the two of them (Make that three of them- E. Gadd reveals he was going to give this to Luigi on his birthday, but is forced to reveal it early… A slime clone of Luigi called Gooigi. He is so… unnerving. Why would E. Gadd make this as a birthday present.) must work together to recover all of the elevator buttons, slowly ascend up the floors of the hotel, and confront Hellen Gravely and King Boo at the very tippy-top, locking them in a ghost-keeping chamber that E. Gadd made.

PAPER MARIO: COLOUR SPLASH 

Yes, I’m spelling it like that.

Mario, Peach and Luigi all take a trip to Port Prisma, a more beachside area of the Mushroom Kingdom! (Luigi asks that if there’s something crazy can you please keep him out of it. He’s tired from the hotel.) 

Surely nothing bad will happen.

Unfortunately, because Bowser is a knucklehead and tried to dye his shell rainbow in Port Prisma’s rainbow fountain, he accidentally mixed it all together to create ugly Black Paint, and is having an ill-informed Giant Rampage across the kingdom. And the Koopalings get to help, too! 

Mario and Peach team up with Huey, a paint bucket, to beat Bowser because why not? Let’s just throw Peach in there for funs. 

Huey sacrifices himself and it’s very sad. Luigi gets to put his karting license to work. 

MARIO & LUIGI: DREAM TEAM

Okay but can we get that nice nap for REAL?! 

This time, the gang chooses to go to the relaxing Pi’illo Island, whose tourism is entirely based on sleeping and having nice dreams. 

…Hey, remember back in Super Mario Bros. 2 when a bat-thing named Antasma tried to feed on Mario’s nightmares but failed spectacularly? Well, he’s baa-aaaaaack…

Antasma’s goal is to collect the Dream Stone and gain enough power to put the entire island into an eternal sleep, ruling it as the king of nightmares. Obviously, we can’t let that happen. …Oh, yeah, and he convinced Bowser to work with him and kidnapped Peach as a sign of goodwill. DAMMIT, GUYS, SHE HAD SUCH A GOOD STREAK GOING.

Mario and Luigi team up with Prince Dreambert, former prince of the kingdom who had been frozen in stone for years, to chase after Antasma. It’s also revealed that Luigi has immense power in the dream world- Dreamy Luigi has the force of ONE HUNDRED MEN. What the hell?! Maybe it’s because he has his head in the cloud so much… Who knows?

And BTW Antasma betrays Bowser this time and not the other way around. That was fucking stupid, what happened in the real game. I didn’t like it. 

During the final battle, Antasma idly comments on Luigi, saying he wishes he tried to influence him to do his bidding, nearly salivating over his dream-power, but also saying he… “senses something dark within Luigi”? Whatever that means. Oh, well, he’s a crazy bat anyways, let’s just attack him and make sure Pi’illo Island never has to deal with him again. Bye-bye!

(Also I have nowhere to put this but Antasma can totally turn people into nightmare vampires. Isn’t that cool? I think it’s cool. It’s why I added it.)

SUPER MARIO GALAXY

Have you ever just wanted to say “Fuck it, let’s go to space”? Bowser has. 

It’s the Star Festival! Which is NOT THE SAME AS THE STICKER FESTIVAL, OKAY? There’s a lot of stuff out there in space. Give us a break. Besides, THIS one orbits the Mushroom Kingdom every 100 years. But, of course, Bowser has to take his chance to mess everything up as per usual. He lifts Peach’s castle into space using a UFO, and before Mario and Luigi can stop him, Kamek casts a spell that launches the both of them into deep space.

Mario wakes up on a strange planet separated from Luigi, where a creature called a Luma guides him to the gateway to the starry sky. There, he meets an… interesting character. Miss Rosalina is icy, short-tempered, and a total recluse, only interacting with the Lumas on her ship. She’s like a doting mother to them, and is protective over them to an extreme degree.

When one of the Lumas begs her to help Mario, she’s reluctant at first, but when she hears Peach is in trouble, she loosens up a little. Although still extremely wary of Mario, she agrees to help.

Mario’s primary goal is to find Luigi, knowing he can definitely help lend a hand looking for the princess. He eventually recovers him in that ghost galaxy he was stuck in. How ironic.

Over time, Mario and Luigi learn more about Rosalina’s past. Apparently, although not from the Mushroom Kingdom or even their planet, she was on a very similar planet with a human family of her own. That is, until the Shroobs invaded and drained her planet of all its resources, leaving her as the sole survivor. She keeps a watchful eye over the Mushroom Kingdom in fear that the Shroobs will one day return to it. If she can’t protect her home… Perhaps she can protect another place.

(Side note: as of this part in the story, Mario and Luigi don’t know jack about the Shroobs, so to them, it’s just a story about hostile aliens who… might attack the Mushroom Kingdom?)

They get Peach back from Bowser, and stop him from creating a new galaxy. Obviously the whole WELCOME NEW GALAXY!! thing doesn’t happen in this AU. I need this galaxy, thanks. 

The gang bids farewell to Rosalina. She’s still pretty shut-off, but with a mumble, she promises to visit sometime.

PAPER MARIO: THE ORIGAMI KING

You ever wonder what those wacky Toads get up to on their days off?

Yeah, me neither. One day, Peach gets jumped by a little origami boy named King Olly and turned into origami, which he plans on doing to the entire world. He does this because he believes he was brought to life only as a mockery, and that he should show the entire world that origami is beautiful, rather than these unsightly lumps and grooves everyone seems to have. 

Bowser gets stapled for his time. That’s what you get, idiot. 

Olly manages to successfully kidnap Luigi as well, but can’t seem to be able to fold him into origami. It’s like something within him is protecting him… SIGH… Olly begrudgingly says he’ll “just fold Luigi last”. He and Olly have a lot of conversations about their siblings.

Mario goes to unfurl the streamers that block Peach’s castle, and along the way, he meets Olly’s sister, Olivia! She wants to stop Olly from turning the world into origami because, well, she likes the world! Along the way, they fight the Legion of Stationery, craft supplies turned giant by Olly’s magic. They also rescue the Origami Craftsman, who reveals that he wrote a message about Olly being a lovely king on him before he folded him to life. It was an act of love, not shame.

The gang manage to beat Olly, and before he can finish folding 1000 cranes to make a wish (The Star Spirits apologize. They really did forget about that method.), Olivia changes his heart, and instead wishes that everything folded by her brother would be unfolded. She sacrifices herself, and Olly, weakened, becomes unfolded as well. Mario is very sad. Luigi wonders if he should ignore the implication that the sunny, bright sibling is left to clean up the mess of the dark, broody sibling. That’s probably nothing.

SUPER MARIO ODYSSEY

Anyways, who wants a GLOBE-TROTTING FUN-VENTURE?! This totally isn’t the calm before the storm, before you ask!!!!! 

Bowser decides to go for it, this time. And he means REALLY go for it. HE’S GONNA MARRY PEACH!!! Peach, obviously, isn’t as big a fan of this, but you know what that means! MORE KIDNAPPING! Mario now has to chase Peach across some of the outer Kingdoms way, WAY across the map- although some are familiar. Tostarena, for example, is a town in Sarasaland now, instead of just the Sand Kingdom! Just like the Seaside Kingdom is now a secluded spot on Isle Delfino! Et cetera, et cetera. 

The Koopalings replace the Broodals. They’re all packed onto one boat. It’s as awkward as it sounds. 

Mario has a teary reunion with Pauline, who’s now the mayor of New Donk City. He’s glad to see she’s doing so well for herself. 

Luigi is by Mario’s side this time, of course, but since he doesn’t have a buddy from the Cap Kingdom, he does struggle to keep up quite often. Oh, well! That’s life, he supposes!

Wario also keeps popping by because he wants Mario to say hello. No, say hello like he MEANS it. He’s grimacing. He’s grimacing again. IS THAT REALLY ANY WAY TO TREAT YOUR COUSIN.

Mario manages to stop the wedding before Peach can even think of saying “I do”- but it’s not like she would ever say that anyways.

LUIGI’S MANSION: DARK MOON

Oh, wow! This time, Luigi isn’t getting tricked by winning a free thing! How novel! Yes, this time, E. Gadd has sent a letter inviting Luigi over to research ghosts with him in a place called Evershade Valley, which is apparently a habitat for many unique ghosts, and likely where all of Hellen Gravely’s hotel staff- as well as she herself- came from! 

When Luigi gets there, though, trouble finds him quickly. He gets knocked out as soon as he arrives, he hears King Boo’s laugh in his ears… and when he wakes up again, he’s… HE’S… A GHOST?! 

AAAAAAAAHHHHHH-

A voice tells him to stop screaming. Eldstar? Is that you? GRAMBI, MAYBE?? The voice speaks again, groaning that he NEEDS to stop screaming, because he’s NOT DEAD. Luigi turns to see that on the usual monitor he’d contact E. Gadd on, there’s someone else instead… A mysterious scientist with his face obscured.

He introduces himself as Professor Evershade, the leading scientist in Evershade Valley. He confirms that E. Gadd has been kidnapped by King Boo, and if Luigi wants to beat him, he’s going to need to piece together the Dark Moon, the ancient artifact that was buried in pieces here in Evershade Valley. It alone has the power to seal King Boo’s fate. 

Evershade goes on to explain that Luigi’s new ghostly form isn’t permanent, it’s just a temporary power-up that Evershade invented. He can turn a button on a remote control to activate and de-activate ghost mode at will whenever he wants. Luigi navigates his way through the various mansions of Evershade Valley, using the ghost power-up to solve various puzzles within it. 

This is where things get interesting. During the final mansion, when Luigi finally frees E. Gadd, Professor Gadd quickly rushes to tell Luigi he’s been deceived- but it’s too late. Appearing before the two of them, applauding sarcastically, is Professor Evershade. He whips off his hat and tears out his scarf, revealing that he’s a ghost- AND that he’s actually… LUIGI?!

Evershade begins to explain. Around this time, he becomes more of a recluse, with certain events that happen in the near future discouraging him from going on adventures with Mario. (You’ll know it when you see it. It’s in Partners In Time. But Luigi doesn’t know that yet!) He throws himself into ghost research with E. Gadd, but E. Gadd eventually passes, leaving Luigi as the lone researcher in Evershade Valley. The seal on E. Gadd’s containment cell for King Boo breaks after years of neglect and people just assuming it’s fine, and he immediately goes to find Luigi, ending his game for his insolence. Thanks to the power of King Boo’s crown, most weaker ghosts find themselves unable to disobey him… And now, that includes Luigi. Enraged and spiteful after being forced to work under his worst enemy for years, he formulates a plan. Apparently, some time in the future, something called the Cobalt Star gets unveiled from Peach’s basement, and Luigi, knowing about this, goes down to the basement to steal it for himself, so he can invent a time machine. 

But why, Luigi asks? Why would Evershade invent a time machine and go back WAY before he was supposed to be killed?

Evershade responds simply. He doesn’t want to change some other version of him’s future- HE WANTS HIS MORTALITY BACK. And he was using his device to temporarily steal it… from HIMSELF. This is the final nail in the coffin that E. Gadd was warning Luigi about… The Dark Moon will grant Evershade the power to swap his mortality with Luigi… PERMANENTLY. 

Him and Evershade get into a fight, and Luigi manages to win, with him chastising Evershade for falling so far from grace. Evershade, in turn, chastises him for being naive and not seeing the obvious. “This is the way that we are, Luigi. It’s the way we were always going to be.”

WHICH PROBABLY MEANS NOTHING.

But, y’know, how did Luigi end up trapped in Evershade Valley in the first place? That powerful barrier isn’t going away… perhaps Evershade was working with someone?

YES. KING BOO. But it’s OUR King Boo- the King Boo of the present. Evershade freed him in exchange for the king lending some of his power to help trap Luigi here. Oh, my, Evershade offered him freedom AND the fact that the present version of Luigi would become a ghost permanently, therefore being forced to work under him? Count him in. 

King Boo is beaten. Luigi looks fear right in the eye. E. Gadd seals him inside the Dark Moon- Evershade DID say it had the power to seal fates! And he’s proud knowing that this sealing surely won’t break with time. 

Evershade, pride wounded, tries retreating back into his time machine, before realizing… he’s fading away. Luigi just prevented his own terrible future. 

But, y’know, as they return home, E. Gadd thinks… Is time travel really possible with that Cobalt Star? And if it is, is it actually in Peach’s basement? And- hey, wait a minute, if Evershade told them about that… did he find it out from E. Gadd too, who now… found it out from Evershade? Did- did they just create a time paradox?

Ugh. My head hurts.

MARIO & LUIGI: BOWSER’S INSIDE STORY

Luigi returns home just in time, as Mario quickly drags him out the door to go to Peach’s castle- apparently there’s an emergency conference. Looks like E. Gadd might have to wait a bit on that Cobalt Star follow-up!

All of the Mushroom Kingdom is getting immobilized by this disease called the Blorbs, and they need to- Oh, what the hell, why is BOWSER here?! Get out of here, man.

Anyways-

Bowser comes back like five minutes later after he ate a weird mushroom from a vendor. He accidentally ends up sucking Mario, Luigi and Peach right up, along with a Star Sprite named Starlow. So that’s why those guys are in there.

A-NY-WAYS, you remember Cackletta’s minion, Fawful? Yeah? Well, now he’s BACK, baby! With a vengeance! He plans to take over both the Mushroom and Koopa Kingdoms using his genius, and his first step? Trapping those meddlesome Mario bros. inside Bowser! 

Bowser and the bros. now have to work together to stop Fawful from unearthing the Dark Star, an evil entity the Star Spirits THOUGHT they buried, HELLO, does nobody LISTEN to them anymore?

The Dark Star has no relation to any of the Star Children, but it does believe Bowser to be the Dark Star Child, taking his form in order to better conquer the world. Around this time, Fawful goes from being Fawful to a souped-up Dark Fawful… then downgraded to itty-bitty bug form, crawling inside Dark Bowser to help him there.

Bowser SAVES THE WORLD!! Wow, that… felt kinda good, actually. He never realized how fun it was hanging out with the bros. when he’s not attacking them… But- he’s still tough! Yeah! Don’t even think about assuming otherwise!

MARIO & LUIGI: PARTNERS IN TIME

Now that everything’s calmed down, E. Gadd FINALLY has the chance to ask Peach about looking in her basement for the Cobalt Star. And… lo and behold, there it is! Peach remembers it was her mother’s, and that they kept it sealed down here for a reason, but nobody can really remember that reason anymore, least of all her. 

E. Gadd reveals a time machine he built, with a spot to slot that Cobalt Star RIGHT in! But before he can step in himself, the castle gets STORMED by these purple aliens- we, of course, know them as the Shroobs, but to the Mario bros, they’re unknown, and for Peach, they were just a hazy vision she saw in her nightmares sometimes. 

Mario and Luigi try to fight them off, but they get knocked out and shoved inside the machine, presumably so the Shroobs can make sure they don’t cause any more trouble. When the bros. are woken up again, they’ve been transported to the “present” again… just not a present they know. This present has… Bowser and Luigi on the same side? Seems weird. Also unrelated. The princess also seems immensely frustrated at this. She orders her guards to knock out the brothers again so they don’t cause trouble (at least, that’s what they gleaned from her alien language), but they manage to get the upper hand, beating the Shroobs back. The only problem? The princess decides to repay this insolence by leaving them STRANDED. IN A PRESENT THAT ISN’T THEIRS. 

Luigi is freaking out a little. Pacing back and forth. The works. Mario has an idea, though… This present doesn’t seem TOO badly scuffed by whatever those Shroobs did yet… maybe he can pay some old friends a visit.

He drags Luigi across the land for a bit, until they reach it- the Star Road, home of the Star Spirits. But, this time, there’s this GATE installed? (“This wasn’t here before,” Mario complains! “Maybe it’s an anti-Bowser measure in this timeline”, Luigi shrugs hopelessly.) The gate claims it needs to tests if the brothers are pure of heart. It gives Mario a pass with flying colours, but Luigi… It deems less than worthy. It says he’s a coward, he’s got darkness in his heart, and even accuses him of lying- He’s openly sobbing at this point as Mario starts hammering the gate in blind fury. The gate is like “WOAH WOAH STOP OKAY IT WAS A TEST I’M SORRY”. It reveals it was testing Mario and Luigi’s bond as brothers, and they passed, and that it REALLY DIDN’T MEAN ANY OF THAT STUFF LUIGI CALM DOWN. Luigi does eventually stop hyperventilating, and goes through the gate, but he does wonder… He wonders if maybe that gate wasn’t lying about everything.

Anyways, Mario finally reaches the Star Spirits, and chews Eldstar out for that stupid gate (“Not our fault, your brother is a real character”). He explains that he and Luigi are from a timeline where Luigi is a good guy, and something has gone terribly wrong thanks to some time-traveling Shroobs, and could they please have a time machine to use PLEASE. Eldstar nods sagely, agreeing that they seem like they’re the “true” versions of the bros. They temporarily present Mario with a watch that lets them time travel. Yay! 

The next few parts of their adventure involve the bros desperately trying to give chase to the Shroobs, but each time they try to catch them, it seems the Shroobs are one step ahead, and they’re left in yet another alternate present. 

Luigi starts noticing a fairly concerning pattern. That previous timeline had Luigi as Bowser’s right-hand man… And the more they travel, the more he sees it… A timeline where Luigi is turned into a vampire by Antasma, a timeline where the Dark Star forcibly implants itself onto Luigi, a timeline where Luigi is adopted by Cackletta and is Fawful’s main minion, Professor Evershade’s timeline is back again, a timeline where Luigi becomes Mayor Spike’s secretary, a timeline where Luigi is a Yoshi-hunter, a timeline where he just kinda snaps one day with no explanation… Why is it that Luigi is turning out evil in every single timeline…?

Finally, the bros manage to catch the moment in the past the Shroobs keep frantically returning to, as they keep going back to around that time, trying to influence something. That time… is when Mario and Luigi were babies. 

Mario ends up bumping into Baby Mario before the Yoshis do, and the poor guy is crying about his brother so much that Mario has no choice but to take him along with them. Luigi asks if it’s okay if they’re meddling with time like that, sweating. Mario shrugs. The Shroobs have been doing it literally the entire time, why shouldn’t they?

Mario wants to get to Baby Peach as soon as he can to try and solve the mystery of what the Shroobs are after, but Baby Mario is indignant, crying and crying until he knows for SURE his brother is safe. Mario gives Luigi a pleading look- could he please go rescue his baby self?

Luigi nods. Of course. He won’t let his brother down. He runs off to the place he remembers only faintly- the Koopa kingdom before Bowser’s castle was built. He does find where his baby self is being kept, but he hides behind a rock to try and get the jump on Kamek, waiting for the right time. He waits in the shadows, spying on Kamek as he mills about.

That’s when he sees it- He sees Kamek lifting up his star necklace, sees that it’s purple, sees Kamek grumble and cast a spell so it looks gold. His blood runs cold. His face goes pale. He thinks he’s going to be sick. The Dark Star Child. The one everyone thought was just a myth. The one everyone shrugged and assumed was “probably going to be Bowser, anyways”. Luigi. Luigi was the Dark Star Child all along. He was the Dark Star Child and he didn’t even know, he didn’t know, was this why? Was this why Mario shot off before him? Was Luigi joining him a fluke? A mistake, because nobody knew what he truly was? THE DARK STAR CHILD? THE ONE DESTINED TO BE MARIO’S ENEMY ALL ALONG?-

Mario texts him from his corresponding watch, asking if he’s got his baby self yet. Luigi tries to shake off the impending panic attack and quickly nabs his baby self when Kamek isn’t looking, trying to will himself to stop shaking. He rejoins Mario when Mario flies a hot air balloon down to him, and they head to Peach’s castle to finally battle the Shroobs.

When they get there, Princess Shroob is shrieking in frustration, stomping her foot. The bros look confused, to say the least, but nearby, Russ, Peach’s father, catches them up. He’s figured out the Shroobish thanks to his language studies, and does a rough translation of it- apparently the bros came in just after Cerise sealed herself into the Cobalt Star, along with someone else… The princess is furious, she’s been trying to prevent THIS EXACT EVENT dozens of times over. She doesn’t understand why it isn’t working. But then- she realizes. She abandons the past entirely, zipping back into the present. 

Before the bros give chase, Russ stops them with a weak smile, telling them he’s proud of them, and… to say hello to his little girl for him. The bros nod, and they zap to the future, taking the babies with them until they can defeat the Shroobs.

Back in the present, Princess Shroob begins RIPPING APART THE TIME MACHINE. All this time, she’s been trying to stop their old leader from being sucked into the Cobalt Star, and she never realized the Cobalt Star was buried deep inside the machine, FUELING IT! SHE NEEDS TO DESTROY IT! She smashes it onto the ground, and both Cerise and Elder Princess Shroob are freed, the younger sister cackling, grateful to be united with her older sister at last. 

The brothers and the babies team up to defeat the monstrosity, and they KILL her. For good this time. The intergalactic conquerors flee in terror, deciding to leave the planet alone for good, now in mourning for the queen they just got back. (Good riddance, you pillagers.)

The brothers use the time travel watch one last time to return their past selves back home. They drop them off at their parents’ house, which is… roughly how they remember their parents finding them, anyways. They breathe a sigh of relief- apart from having some new alien-related childhood trauma, it seems they managed to keep the timeline intact. 

Meanwhile, back at Peach’s castle, Peach gets to say a true goodbye to her mother. Cerise explains that she used the time-warping powers of the Cobalt Star to extend her and her husband’s lifespans, and it won’t be long now before she falls to the same rapid-onset aging that got her Russ. She kisses Peach goodbye and wishes her good luck before asking to be taken to the town of Rogueport to live out her last days, saying it “reminds her of her beloved one”.

Rogueport, huh… 

PAPER MARIO: THE THOUSAND YEAR DOOR

This part of the saga starts with Peach traveling to Rogueport after her mother passes on, wanting to connect with her past and the stories of her parents more. She meets a mysterious merchant who presents her with a mystical box, and before you know it… she gets kidnapped. Poor girl.

Mario receives a letter inviting him to join Peach in Rogueport. She attaches a treasure map she got from the merchant, and the intrigue leads Mario to packing his bags right away! He asks if Luigi is ready to go, but Luigi shakes his head, seemingly really shaken by the events of Partners In Time. Huh. Guess he’s got a phobia of aliens too, Mario thinks…? Anyways, Mario heads out. 

In town, Mario helps out a Goomba, Goombella, protecting her from Lord Crump and the X-Nauts, a mysterious sci-fi organization. Goombella has Mario take the magical map to her professor, Professor Frankly, who reveals that the map is a map to the Legendary Treasure of Rogueport, that lies beyond the Thousand-Year Door, and can only be opened by the seven Crystal Stars united. Treasure hunt! Treasure hunt! 

Over time, as Mario collects the Crystal Stars, he realizes the X-Nauts have captured Peach, and that the “treasure” may not be what it seems…

Meanwhile, Bowser is on a quest to rescue Peach from her kidnapping, because ONLY HE CAN KIDNAP HER, DAMMIT! He’s also trying to find the Crystal Stars, but is turning up absolutely nothing. 

Meanwhile meanwhile, even though he said he wanted to stay home, Luigi shows up in Rogueport, practically shaking… with excitement! He’s been contacted by Princess Eclair! The compass! The Marvelous Compass! He’s going to help her! He’s going to help everyone! He’s a hero! See! He really is! What was that you said about a ‘manic episode’?? He has noooo idea what you’re talking about! Ha ha! Boy, is Blooey giving you the stinkeye, too?! He definitely isn’t messing his whole quest up, see? This PROVES he’s a hero, right? RIGHT??

The Thousand-Year Door is opened, thanks to Mario getting tricked. Sir Grodus drags Peach through the Palace of Shadow, and offers her up to the Shadow Queen… The exact vessel that the Shadow Siren Beldam picked.

After all… Peach does have a shadow’s DNA within her, deep down. Perhaps it could be reawakened…

(We’ve known this part for ages, but for Mario and Peach, this is the grand reveal that Cerise was once a demon, a Shadow Sister.)

Before the Shadow Queen can get too far with that, though, Mario uses the power of the Crystal Stars to seal away the demon once more. With the combined power of the Stars being used against her AGAIN, and Mario being one of the Star Children, instead of simply being sealed away, she’s defeated- for good. 

Peach wakes up, and Mario takes care of her during her slow recovery. Although a little shaken by the experience, there is one thing she doesn’t regret… She was glad she got to experience memories of her mother through her aunt’s eyes.

 Also, if you’ve been keeping track, that means Peach is technically cousins of sorts with the Shadow Sirens! Surprise!

SUPER PAPER MARIO

Ahhh. What a lovely, regular day. Nothing will happen here. On this day. This regular day. Peach and Luigi definitely aren’t recovering from world-shattering revelations or anything. 

Oh, no! Peach got kidnapped! Better head over to that silly Bowser’s place! Ha ha- ...Wait. Bowser’s saying he was just doing his minion pep-talk to head over to Peach’s place. If HE didn’t kidnap Peach… then who? 

All of a sudden, teleporting in is a mysterious man in a cape and hat, proclaiming himself to be Count Bleck, a follower of the Dark Prognosticus. He reveals he’s the one who kidnapped Peach, and then proceeds to kidnap Bowser, all his minions, and Luigi. Mario managed to escape the fray.

He awakens to a mysterious creature known as a Pixl floating near him. She introduces herself as Tippi, and explains that while he was out, Count Bleck apparently forced a marriage between Peach and Bowser, as their union causes the creation of something known as the Chaos Heart. This gives Count Bleck the ability to create the Void, something that will end all worlds if given the chance. Oh, jeez.

Tippi brings him to a place called Flipside, where a wizard known as Merlon explains that Mario is one of the four heroes of legend, a hero mentioned in the Light Prognosticus. Mario questions this, and Merlon explains that the Dark Prognosticus is a dark, foreboding book that foretells the end of all worlds. The Light Prognosticus is a prophecy written to specifically counteract the dark one, foretelling that four heroes will save all worlds. Both prophecies mention that a “Man in Green” will be the deciding factor to which prophecy comes true. 

Merlon also explains that the heroes are described as being “blessed by the stars”- and Mario realizes that THIS is where the idea of the Star Children comes from. Of course, Mario’s known for a LONG time now that he was one of the Star Children (Between various people telling him and him witnessing it himself as his baby self wore his half-star necklace), but MAN, what a realization- that this thing people have been calling you for a good chunk of your life is actually a WORLD-SAVING HERO. IT’S YOUR DESTINY. Now, he has to collect the 8 Pure Hearts and stop Count Bleck from destroying all worlds, along with reuniting with the other 3 heroes- The other 3 Star Children.

Mario finds Peach knocked out in Flipside after she was teleported away from Castle Bleck, and he finds Bowser in the Bitlands, trying to rule over an old abandoned castle he found. Bowser takes a bit more convincing, stubborn as he is. Kamek, weeping, begs Bowser to go save the world, and that he IS one of the Star Children, and he’s SORRY HE NEVER TOLD HIM. Bowser rolls his eyes, flatly telling Kamek that he knew he was one of the Star Children way before this. (“It was kinda obvious, Kamek.”)

Luigi, meanwhile, is less fortunate, having never escaped Castle Bleck. He’s eventually tracked down by Bleck’s secretary, Nastasia, and is brainwashed into becoming Count Bleck’s newest minion. MR.L, THE GREEN THUNDER! Of course, the Count makes it known to his other minions that he suspects Mr. L is the Man in Green, and having him on their side should ensure their victory and fulfillment of the prophecy. 

Along the way, the three heroes are constantly made to duel with O’Chunks, Mimi, Dimentio, and the aforementioned Mr. L, Bleck’s minions sent to stop them. 

The group comes to an impasse when they fail to prevent the destruction of one of the worlds- Sammer’s Kingdom. The Pure Heart is nullified, turned into rock, and they seem to be stuck. This is when Dimentio shows up, snapping his fingers and seemingly killing the heroes. (After taking a quick pit stop to kill Mr. L, too, of course!) This allows them to go into the Underwhere and ask Queen Jaydes to restore the Pure Heart. Jaydes agrees, and as Mario goes off to find Luigi beneath the River Styx, Jaydes and Peach catch up as aunt and niece. 

Once they gather all the Pure Hearts, the heroes make the long trek to Castle Bleck, and are taken out one by one- O’Chunks and Bowser keep the ceiling from falling down, Mimi and Peach fall down a pit, and Dimentio seemingly… attempts a murder-suicide with Luigi??

Either way, Mario faces off against the Count, and the other three heroes show back up in the middle of the fight (with Luigi saying he has literally no idea how he wound up alive). They use the power of the Pure Hearts to defeat Bleck, and he reveals that he’s been waiting for this moment.

Of course, Bleck is Blumiere, a man from the Tribe of Darkness who was forbidden from seeing Timpani, a human woman. When Blumiere’s father cursed Timpani and made her disappear, Blumiere, in his depression, stole the Dark Prognosticus, vowing to end the world since it is not a world he can truly be happy in. Not without Timpani. And, of course, Timpani is Tippi, the woman cursed into becoming a Pixl. 

Before Bleck can be killed, stopping the Void, Dimentio knocks him out of the way, claiming that the Chaos Heart won’t disappear if he continues to control it. He reveals his plan to create a perfect new world where he rules it as a god. He also exclaims that he’s going to unlock the true power of the Chaos Heart by fusing it with its ideal host- the Man in Green, the Dark Star Child, Luigi… They’re all yours, Mr. L!~ 

Luigi, thanks to a mind-controlling Floro Sprout that Dimentio secretly planted within him, fuses with the Chaos Heart without second thought, becoming a horrible man-chaos monstrosity, a three-way fusion between himself, the Chaos Heart, and Dimentio, very humbly named “Super Dimentio”. I don’t think you have to guess who had the naming privileges. Dimentio mocks Mario using his beloved brother’s voice, his beloved brother’s face (But not his smile. That is not how Luigi smiles.), and happily proclaims that the four heroes “used up” all the Pure Hearts, therefore leaving him as the invincible king of all worlds. 

Meanwhile, in Dimension D, where Dimentio has teleported Bleck to die off in a little corner where he doesn’t need to see, Bleck and Tippi are found by their minions, who proclaim that they truly do love the Count, despite everything, and that he can’t give up- and THEY can’t give up on Mr. L! Luigi or not, their friend needs their help! The love that they’re showing- for Bleck, for Luigi, for the minions, for Tippi… It’s enough to summon the Pure Hearts, restored once more. After all. love is NOT a finite resource! Overjoyed, Tippi brings them back to Mario and co.

Dimentio is caught off guard by the appearance of the Pure Hearts. They seem to bring Luigi back to consciousness for a moment deep within the fusion, and he is able to temporarily take control. But when Mario gets to speak to his brother, what he doesn’t expect is to see Luigi’s lip quivering, black tears streaming down his distorted face. He tells Mario to just let him go- that he’s a monster who was never good enough to be his brother. He’s lost all hope. But Mario won’t let it end like that. He cries out that he REBUKES his destiny. He’s not a hero because he was FATED to be, he’s a hero because he CHOOSES to be! He doesn’t do good things because it was written in a dusty old book, he does it to see people smile! He didn’t tolerate Luigi because he didn’t know he was the Dark Star Child- He LOVES Luigi! Because he’s his BROTHER, dammit! 

WE CAN CHOOSE OUR OWN DESTINIES, LUIGI! AND I CHOOSE TO SAVE YOU! BUT I CAN’T DO IT WITHOUT YOUR HELP! 

Mario reaches out a hand- and Luigi’s massive glove touches itself to his. In the last few moments before Dimentio takes control again, he manages to make it so that his body is vulnerable to the Pure Hearts, and Super Dimentio’s invincibility vanishes. As Dimentio regains control, he lets out a scream of frustration. The heroes will pay for this!

But it’s too late. The Man In Green has chosen. Despite every force in the universe trying to make Luigi fulfill his destiny of becoming Mario’s darker half… Luigi’s love for his brother trumps it all. His goodness shines through, thanks to the goodness of the people he surrounded himself with. Super Dimentio is defeated by the heroes, and goes down shrieking. Before he and Luigi unfuse, Dimentio laughs, revealing that he’s left behind a shadow of his power to continue controlling the Chaos Heart. Even as the horrific fusion gets dragged into the Underwhere where it belongs and Luigi gets spat back out, there’s no time to celebrate. The world is ending within MINUTES if something isn’t done.

Bleck and Tippi agree to use the Pure Hearts to banish the Chaos Heart, knowing they will sacrifice their own lives in the process. They renew their vows, and in a flash… they’re gone. 

The Star Children return to the Mushroom Kingdom, waving the people of Flipside goodbye. Luigi promises he’ll visit the Bleck minions soon. They all settle in, and realize… they’ve gotta have a talk.

AFTER THE STORM

Mario feels like he’s going to collapse under the pressure if he has one more GRAMBI-DAMNED PROPHECY HE HAS TO FULFILL. OH, HE IS SO SICK OF BEING A STAR CHILD. SO. STAR-DAMN. SICK. SICK OF IT. S-I-C-K. He wants to be a hero on his own terms, not because he’s destined to be one! But if he does, doesn’t that just mean he’s playing into this dumb prophecy anyways? He’s so tired of carrying peoples’ legacies on his back. The other three point out to him that in the end, wasn’t it Tippi and Bleck who defeated Dimentio and sealed away the Chaos Heart? And wasn’t it Mario himself who directly told the universe he wasn’t going to play their games anymore? Mario does have to admit that’s true. He breathes a sigh of relief, feeling a sense of… freedom. It’s been a while, but he finally feels like he can rest.

As for Peach, she’s always struggled with a sense of feeling like she doesn’t belong anywhere. After all, both her parents died/disappeared into the Cobalt Star when she was just a baby, and she was left with nothing but a kingdom full of Toads and so, so many questions. Even though she wasn’t expecting to be in the lineage of a thousand-year-old shadow demon, it’s… a bit of a relief, finally knowing. And through learning, she realizes that she’s always had a home- among the people who love her. 

Bowser was always trained to be the best Koopa he could be, and what he thought he was, he was proud of! His entire kingdom was proud of him, wanting him to be the first Koopa to ever triumph over the Mushroom Kingdom! But he realizes… he’s much happier being a do-what-I-want antihero instead of constantly aiming for absolute conquest all the time. And he’s gonna tell Kamek that. …Though Kamek has considerably mellowed out over the years, too. Maybe Bowser’s always been forging his own path!

And Luigi… Oh, boy, Luigi. Everything comes spilling out at once. His feelings of inferiority, his impostor syndrome, his jealousy, his fear, him seeing Kamek disguise his star necklace, realizing he was the Dark Star Child all along, being horrified by himself, being constantly pushed by the universe to be a darker version of Mario, witnessing a dozen bad futures of himself… It was a lot. And- he’s still not sure any of those issues got solved… But he’s going to try his hardest to stand by his friends and let them in when he’s feeling like the world’s collapsing around him. He’s gonna tell them what he feels- even the ugly ones that he’s repressed for so long. He’s gonna live every day in spite of what the prophecies tried to twist him into. 

[whatawaitsus]

It's your final year at Killian Argent's School for the Supernatural; a prestigious boarding school for supernatural beings. In theory this doesn't mean much. Your future has been set since you were a child: graduate from a prestigious boarding school, get into an equally prestigious college that your parents will pay for, and then get a prestigious well-paying job with your father's connections. It is what is, you're past the point of complaining at this point in your life.

Despite being one of the most expensive schools in the nation, nothing particularly interesting has happened at the school in the nine years you've been here— aside from the occasional accidental possession caused by a ghost or the common room getting flooded after a nixie gets too frustrated over their homework.

That is until students start to go missing.

Oh, and you start having prophetic dreams of your missing brother. But, that's probably better to unpack later, in all honesty.

What Awaits Us is upcoming choicescript interactive fiction project. The game is rated 16+ for violence, manipulation, kidnapping, strong language, drug use, religious imagery and trauma and optional suggestive content.

Choose what kind of witch you are; customize your gender, pronouns, sexuality, physical appearance, personality, magic class, uniform style, dorm decor, familiar, and more.

Balance trying to solve the disappearances of your peers and your performance as a student.

Establish your relationships with your parents and older brother by playing through flashbacks.

Deicide on your class schedule and extracurricular activity that will have the ability to affect your stats.

Choose one out of five romantic options; a moody kitsune, an expressive siren, a bubbly godling, or a quiet godling, or an apathetic arachne.

Solve the mystery of the missing kids and potentially get a lead on your runaway brother.

Unwillingly gain a weird almost mentor figure in the form of one of your teachers.

Rei Nakamura [they/them, kitsune]: C's roommate. Rei has been at this school as long as you, though your interactions are next to none. You always spot their name at the top of all the classes you share. They generally keep to themselves, only interacting with C and the kids they tutor. When they do talk it's usually an insult or a refusal to do something. It's not a surprise that they're generally disliked by most of the school. How they happened to befriend an outgoing siren is beyond you.

Cleo/Cyrus Valtameri [gender selectable, siren]: Rei's roommate. C is.. a lot. They transferred during your ninth term; originally from Drialia, which is clear from their accent. They joined the theater club nearly as soon as they were enrolled and have landed nearly every lead since then. The two of you don't interact much, but when you do happen to cross paths they're always animatedly nice to you; they're like that to everyone except Rei, really. You almost swear you've seen the two of them point at you and laugh.

Lydia Taylor* [she/her, godling]: Lukas's twin sister. You've been partnered up with Lydia a few times for projects and she's always a diligent student. She's in the boxing club, which is honestly kind of intimidating, especially after what happened between her and Stephan Kim in your sixth term. But, she's always been plenty nice to you too, not fake nice like you've realized most of your classmates are. She and her brother are never apart from eachother, either.

Lukas Taylor [he/him, godling]: Lydia's twin brother. Lukas Taylor has been going through an 'emo phase' about as long as you've known him. You vaguely remember the mop of strawberry blond hair that was on his head when he first came here, though you have a suspicion he bribed a mage to wipe it from the yearbooks. Lukas is quiet; the polar opposite of his sister. You don't think he's in any clubs, though he is always carrying around a weathered sketchbook.

Nico/Nadia Ruiz-Estrada [gender selectable, arachne]: Your roommate. N and you have shared a dorm for the past five years, and they're possibly your best friend. Despite constantly skipping all of their classes, barring the ones the two of you share, their grades remain high. Even after knowing them for six years you still don't know if they care about anything besides displeasing their older sister. They started a band in your ninth year; Bite The Bullet. Half of the kids in your term are convinced they were formerly in prison, something that makes N laugh hysterically whenever you bring it up.

Polyamorous routes available with Rei & Cleo/Cyrus and Lukas & Nico/Nadia.

*Lydia is only romancable by female and nonbinary MC's.*

[fatalism-and-villainy]

I’ll have to write a longer post about this, because I intend to pay close attention to the development of Kira and Sisko’s dynamic the next time I watch through DS9. But a key part of Kira’s character is that despite how much her time as a rebel defines her to others, she is very quick to follow authority that she respects.

This usually shows up in a religious context, but it crops up in secular matters as well. In The Circle, she accepts being reassigned to Bajor and refuses to fight the order, and believes it’s a fitting response to her disobeying orders by going to rescue Li Nalas. Odo points out that it’s not like her to be rule-abiding, but following mandates from the Provisional Government is different from accepting Cardassian rule, even if Kira has butted heads with the former before. In Accession, she’s uncomfortable with Akorem trying to bring back D’jarras, but is similarly willing to accept leaving the station and following a career path that doesn’t suit her, because she doesn’t think she has the right to question the Emissary. And in Children of Time, she’s prepared to sacrifice herself for everyone else because she believes it’s the will of the Prophets.

And I think this tendency to follow authority - and, I think, a desire for an authority figure she can respect - is part of why her dynamic with Sisko hits so hard. She comes to venerate him as a religious figure but also gains respect for him through working with him, and there are moments - the biggest one being at the beginning of season 7, when she tells Ross that she believes Sisko will return despite her noticing that he took the baseball with him at the end of Tears of the Prophets - where she has more faith in him than he has in himself. But unlike some of the authority figures that she feels compelled to follow - such as Jaro, or Winn initially - Sisko listens to Kira and allows himself to be influenced by her point of view.

And the thing is, when Kira was in the resistance, she wasn’t a lone renegade - she was operating as part of a cell (and not one she was in charge of, either). There was every possibility that she would be killed, and that someone else would have to carry on the work she was doing. She was taking orders and carrying out missions for the greater good of Bajor, for the hope of a future that she had no guarantee she would live to see. So it makes sense that she sometimes falls back onto that self-sacrificing impulse, and that, when she’s compelled to leave her post, she defaults to seeing herself as part of a larger system rather than someone with unique contributions, or someone with the right to dictate how she contributes to that system. But Sisko does value her individual worth, and that’s reflected in his line to her in Accession when he says they can find someone who can fill her post, but never replace her, and when he fiercely defends her to Jaro in the Circle arc. She recognizes his potential when he’s reluctant to fill the role that’s been given him, but he sees her potential as well.

[death-of-cats]

Rating Theon/His captors ships

Theon/Ned - 1 star. Some potential on Theon’s end with his complicated feelings about Ned as a hereditary enemy/potential executioner/father-figure-that-wasn’t. Unfortunately Ned doesn’t seem to have registered Theon’s existence. Thinks about him more like a piece of furniture and not in a sexy way. Why does Ned make Theon carry the sword? Because he kept forgetting Theon was there when he didn’t. Like I wish it was a power play.

Theon/Robb - 2.5 stars. This is my preferred dynamic between them. Unfortunately most Throbb content tends to downplay the age gap, not to mention avoid framing Theon as Robb’s hostage. Robb is Theon's little brother but also the lord he owns obedience to in Ned's absence. Robb admires Theon and heeds him but also scolds him like a cook who burned the soup. His father's sword comes between them. How would Theon have reacted if he knew how frankly Robb and Catelyn talked about killing him in retaliation for Balon's attack on the North. How sloppy was the blowjob Theon gave Robb in return for his freedom. These are the questions we must be asking.

Theon/Roose - 4 stars, as long as it’s used in conjunction with Thramsay. I prefer to see it mostly as Roose’s way of controlling and manipulating his son by making him share his toys. Why tf does Roose bring up how he likes Walda making noise in bed? Maybe some goodfatherly advice - have you tried squealing and shuddering when Ramsay’s bouncing you in it? it might endear you to him.

Theon/Ramsay - 5 stars. Absolute peak. Canon almost doesn’t need to be improved upon. It’s like Georg reached into my brain and extracted my tastes exactly. Especially when you throw Jeyne into the mix.

Theon/Stannis - 5 stars. This is it. I’m so pumped for the next book guys. I become more #Thennispilled every time I reread Theon’s released TWOW chapter. Captor/captee. Torturer and victim. Skeptic and prophet. The guy with no sense of humor and the guy who smiles at everything. Contempt for Jon Snow. Age gap. Their shared dental problems. I am rooting for them to be Westeros’s no. 1 toxic couple. Does it count as old man yaoi if one of them is twenty one but has been prematurely aged by torture? Idc I love it. 

Honorable mention:

Theon/[Rodrik/Maron] (Not including this in the main list because older brothers technically aren’t captors. Still what is family if not a hostage situation.) - 3.5 stars. Look, sibling abuse runs in the family. Daddy Balon certainly seemed convinced that the Starks had made Theon their whore. Why if not because he had seen Theon let it happen before. 

[velvetseahorse]

Speculating nakshatras: film observation

I theorize that Isabella Merced might have an Anuradha ascendant rather than Vishaka. Her C-rated birth time places her tropical Scorpio ascendant at 14 degrees, which corresponds to a Vishaka ♎︎ ascendant in Vedic astrology. However, in some of the roles she’s portrayed, I’ve noticed themes that align with Anuradha, which could suggest a potential Anuradha ascendant.

Isabella was cast alongside Anuradha natives Dakota Johnson, Sydney Sweeney, and Celeste O’Connor as the main characters. In the storyline, Dakota Johnson’s character is tasked with protecting the girls, as her prophetic visions show them being killed and attacked by a man who fears they will gain powers as the next Spider-Women, which would lead to his demise. Claire Nakti has mentioned Anuradha’s connection to spiders, and another example is Anuradha native Scarlett Johansson portraying Black Widow in the Marvel universe.

Most recently, Isabella portrayed Kay in Alien: Romulus (spoilers). In the film, her character, pregnant at the time, is severely injured by an alien. She injects black goo into her body, hoping it will help her injuries, but it accelerates her pregnancy, leading her to give birth to an alien hybrid. This theme resonates with Anuradha, which often female natives of this nakshatra portray characters giving birth to beings that are tied to greater evil or abominations. I’ve discussed this idea on my old Twitter account (v1rginldy), and @multidimensionalguidance elaborates on it further in their posts. *Sidenote the father of her baby in the film is portrayed by yoni consort Jyestha native Spike Fearn and her brother portrayed by Archie Renaux who has Anuradha ☉.

While I don’t think Isabella strongly resembles many Anuradha natives or exhibits many Anuradha features, I do see slight resemblances in her eyes and pout to Anuradha natives like Janina Gavankar and Chanel Iman. She also has doe eyes which is physical trait amongst the deer yoni nakshatras.

Edit*

I’ve come across pictures of Isabella where she resembles Anuradha ☉ native Britney Spears.

Someone had pointed out, and I’ve observed as well, that Isabella resembles Vanessa Hudgens, who has a Jyestha ☉ (Anuradha Yoni consort). Isabella, on the other hand, has Jyestha Mars. If Isabella has a Scorpio ascendant in Anuradha, her Jyestha Mars would be in the 1st house, influencing her appearance. Currently, her Jyestha Mars is in the 2nd house with a ♎︎ ascendant, which can also affect her facial features, as the 2nd house rules the face. Additionally, Vanessa and Isabella share Aquarius☽, with Vanessa’s being in Shatabhisha and Isabella’s in Purva Bhadrapada.

This is just a theory and personal speculation. Isabella could very well have a Vishaka ascendant, and there may be other astrological explanations for this, but these are my observations and opinions.

[aesopsharpmybeloved]

Sharp March 2025 - 25. Amortentia

Aesop Sharp teaches the lesson on the strongest Love Potion known to wizardkind.

After yesterday's sadness, I decided to have this fun full of longing and gently torturing Aesop. What fun! 🤣

25. Amortentia (1.8k)

This lesson wasn’t a good idea…

That is, Aesop knew that he couldn’t quite just skip over this particular lesson, it was, after all, a part of the seventh years’ NEWT class curriculum, and while brewing and using a potion such as Amortentia was dubious at best and criminal at worst, it was his firm belief that the students should, at the very least, know how to recognise it and how to remove its effects should they ever encounter someone on whom this potion was used.

Still, every single year he taught this particular lesson, he made sure to keep his eyes peeled for any potential troublemaker who might try to pinch a vial of the finished potion, for whatever reason - he really didn’t need even more work on his hands, and brewing a antidote for this potion was more work indeed, as the students would find out the very next lesson as well.

Besides, it could be plain dangerous as well. He heard stories of people under the influence of this particular love potion becoming so lovesick, they turned violent against those who tried to keep them away from the object of their obsession. There were even cases of people dying, because in an attempt to get to their target, they put themselves into a dangerous situation. A particularly grisly case was that of a wizard from London, who, as a way to locate the person the potion made him believe he loved, climbed atop a balcony of a tall building. And then, once he saw them, he just… he just jumped. 

Aesop cringed - that was before his time as an Auror, but from what he heard, it was not pretty. To cover it up wasn’t that much of a problem, he heard, as the Muggles who witnessed it (as well as the Bobbies who were called there) wrote it off as a suicide. Not the Aurors - they saw it as murder, seeing as the man would have never taken his own life had it not been for the potion. Apparently, the Daily Prophet spoke of little else than the dangers of Love Potions for weeks following the nasty incident.

Therefore, he felt it was his duty as not only a teacher, but also as a former Auror, to instill into the students just how dangerous love potions can be, and Amortentia most of all.

What never crossed his mind, however, at least until he was face-to-face with the situation, was the fact that he’d suddenly be surrounded by the smell of what he found the most attractive. And, well, any other year before it wouldn’t have exactly been a problem - yes, it could be slightly distracting, but he was old and experienced enough to be able to mostly ignore the incredible blend of smells. 

Well, not this year.

He, of course, brewed a batch of the potion in advance, just to be able to show the students how a correctly brewed Amortentia looked, and how different its smell could be for every individual. The brewing itself went without a hitch, obviously, but once Aesop bent over his cauldron for the last time for one final stir, he very nearly froze in place. 

Frankly, he should have expected it. Should have, but didn’t, and that was on him. For whatever reason, he presumed the potion would smell to him like it always did - this sort of pleasant light soapy smell, like freshly washed laundry that’s been left outside to dry in the warm summer sun, coupled with the scent of good quality drawing paper, and the smell of earth after a rain. He had been mistaken.

Because the moment he bent over the cauldron, the smell that hit his nose was one he couldn’t fully take apart and explain, but he very much knew where he knew the smell from.

It was her. Of bloody course it was.

There was something floral, though he couldn’t identify which flower gave off such a scent, floral and powdery, and there was a hint of something wild and sweet in the undertone of it, kind of like sour cherries. He breathed in deeply, his eyes closing subconsciously. It was only when a particularly large bubble burst upon the potion’s surface did he remember himself, and stirred the mixture before turning off the burner below his cauldron.

Bloody hell.

He knew that smell, and he knew it well. He encountered it in both his waking moments and in his dreams, and it drove him absolutely mad.

He allowed himself to close his eyes once more and again inhale the vapours from the potion deeply. And, at that moment, it was almost as if she herself stood there, right before him, her and her irresistibly addictive smell, and he was getting completely high on it. Oftentimes he only caught a whiff of it, when he walked by her, or stood next to her to see her progress in class. Sometimes, he was able to indulge in it for a little longer, like when she had tea with him in his chambers, their armchairs close to one another, so that they were able to talk quietly. Sometimes the smell lingered, and it drove Aesop to fantasies about her still being there with him, rather than heading to sleep in her dormitory.

Now, however, the smell was stronger than he ever had the chance to smell it, and it was, frankly, turning his conscious brain into utter mush. It was like she stood very, very close to him, closer than ever. In fact, it was like she was standing so close, not a leaf of paper would fit between the flush press of their bodies against one another, so close, Aesop could almost feel the softness and the warmth of the delicate skin of her neck, where he’d buried his face, like he was a man starved and only her sweet smell could sustain him.

He could very nearly feel the phantom of her fingers in his hair, could feel his own hands closing tightly around her hips, attempting to pull her closer and closer.

Aesop opened his eyes.

Merlin’s bloody beard…

Sweat appeared at his brow, and his breathing was nearly laboured. He was leaning over the cauldron as if he truly was embracing the object of his admiration and affection just now, and yes indeed, he did feel a little confused as to how was she not there…

Shaking his head, he stepped away from the cauldron, though his legs felt like they were made of lead, and he immediately missed the scent that filled his nose so beautifully just moments prior. He put the cauldron under a stasis spell, to keep the smell contained until the potion was needed for the actual lesson, and used his wand to clear the air in the Dungeons of any remains of the potion’s vapours. Slowly, he hobbled to his desk and sat upon his chair rather heavily. Blindly, he reached into his robes for a vial of Wiggenweld potion, which he uncorked and drank its contents in a single swallow.  

It was going to be an interesting lesson indeed, Aesop presumed.

— 

He had not been wrong in his original assessment. The part of the lesson in which explained the origins, effects and dangers of the Amortentia potion went by alright. Aesop kept his distance from the cauldron, just to be able to clearly see everyone and insure nobody secretly took any of it. That’s what he told himself, at least, in reality, he was really steeling himself for soon having the entire room filled with the smell of the young Ravenclaw.

Speaking of her, he chanced a quick look at her, and it almost made him stutter in his speech - she was looking at the cauldron, ever so slightly leaning closer to it, her eyes half-lidded, and a faint blush colouring her cheeks.

He wondered what it was that she smelled, what scent it was that was alluring her like so…

The potions master cleared his throat: “You will find the instructions on the blackboard, additional information about the ingredients' preparation process can be found in your books, provided all of you actually brought them with you this time.” And with that, he turned around and went to sit down. 

Soon, the room was filled with sounds of daggers clicking against cutting boards, book pages being turned, the instructions being copied from the blackboard, and ingredients being prepared. He watched the seventh years in near silence, for once having no essays or pop-quizzes to grade, which he was rather glad for - he presumed he soon wouldn’t be able to focus on any sort of grading anyway.

And he was correct - as the lesson progressed, he forced himself into a standing position, and made a little lap around the classroom, peeking at the students’ cauldrons over their shoulder, occasionally making small comments and recommendations when he saw someone was a little lost. However, it would seem most of the NEWT students were being meticulous in their efforts, as the air in the room was slowly becoming sweeter for Aesop’s nose, mellower.

He made his way over to the young Ravenclaw. She was visibly focused on her work, something he always deeply appreciated about her - her work ethic could be greater than that of a Hufflepuff. He stood behind her, perhaps just a little bit closer than he stood to the other students, peeking down his nose at the contents of her cauldron. He saw her tense for a moment but then relax again, gracefully stirring her potion.

“Good colour,” he praised slowly. Then, as if on its own accord, his hand reached forward and closed around her stirrer (and partially her hand). He led her hand for a few stirs, then opened his mouth to speak again: “and the consistency appears to be fine as well.”

He had to force himself to let go of her and step back, immediately missing the warmth of her body so close to his. However, even as he stepped back, he felt that sweet scent of hers lingering, tickling his nose and making him try very hard not to breathe too, well, obviously.

“You’re doing a good job, Miss (L/N). Do keep at it,” he said finally and walked (fled) back to his desk, to rest his leg (calm down) again.

Little did he know that the young woman breathed a small sigh of relief. For even as the professor stepped away from her, the smell of him remained in the air around her. A very lovely blend of sandalwood from the cologne he wore, a hint of Firewhisky, and a mix of various herbs that he used as ingredients. She didn’t know when she started finding the smell so appealing, but once she did, she got positively high on it every time her nose caught a trace of it.

And now she was surrounded by it…

Her cheeks were flushed, her neck a bit too warm, and whenever a pair of dark eyes landed on her from across the classroom, she felt like she was in heaven, and she felt like she was in hell.

Oh, Merlin, give her strength that the lesson today won’t make her lose her mind…

---

Hello! I hope you enjoyed this little story. You can check out all of my other stories over on AO3 ❤️

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Now don't throw tomatoes at me but I'm actually really excited to finally see malleus again— I've always loved malleus since we met him in the story, but I'm also sooo curious about what's gonna happen next,, I'm wondering the obvious thing, about whether or not we might get a parralel scenario like what happened with the KoD and silver will have to "slay" malleus or at least be the one to land a killing blow, but I also saw a really interesting post focusing on how magic is a manifestation of dreams and deep desires and imagination,,,, in that case, I may (VERY delusionally) hope that Yuu finally gets to be a major part of the story for once??? Even reading the novels, there HAS to be something bigger for yuu— while the idea of crowley simply being an incompetent airhead is fun and more comfortable, haven't you thought that meybe he pulled them into this world deliberately??

All to say, what if at some point, Yuu somehow manifests magic in a very dire moment ?? You know lol?? Agh idk. I just want yuu to finally make impactful choices but that IS too much to ask, as far as we can see for now,,, (but hey, that part leading up to ace getting is UM, and the convo between him and yuu,,, it *does* give one a sliver of hope, doesn't it? :') )

Don't worry, no tomato throwing here! 😅 I may not care for certain characters, but I’m not going to shame anyone that does. You’re free to think however you want about Malleus!

dbjsvsJcwhj My personal feelings about him aside, I am actually glad he’s finally relevant to the main story again. He’s missed out on so much of his own book OTL In the time he’s been gone, the fandom has been left to speculate about both his and Lilia’s potential death flags. I really doubt Twst will have the balls to kill off one of them, but it would be cool to at least see Silver delivering the final blow to knock some sense into (not necessarily kill) OB Malleus.

Yes, it’s true that Silver states in the recent update that magic was originally considered “a miracle borne of strong desires from the heart.” But 💦 I don’t think that means Yuu would randomly manifest magic in the final fight?? It feels more like a “let’s save the day with the power of friendship” to me, but I could of course be wrong.

I understand being frustrated that Yuu’s participation in the main story seems to fluctuate a lot, with most of their activity being books 3, 4, and segments of 1, 6, and 7. That’s not much, especially considering how long books 6 and 7 are. Sometimes (even in events) it feels like Yuu is barely there, as most dialogue options don’t involve different reactions from the characters. Even Yuu's quest to find a way home is barely addressed or taken seriously until early in book 7. Yuu hasn't gotten "real" development unless you count them realizing their Disney dreams are prophetic in book 5, taking the initiative to save Grim in book 6, and that dialogue option about them being worried they're not contributing + the related convo with Ace in book 7. All very short moments in the grand scheme of things. And honestly, I think that makes sense for the kind of character Yuu is. A blank slate, a self-insert, an outsider that's easy to exposit information to, someone with which to view the story, characters, and world through. Yuu is primarily there to be the POV character, the lenses, the camera that we see Twst through. They're not really meant to be a traditional "main character". It's possible that Twst gives them a slightly bigger role at the very end (especially with what went down in the dream in book 7), but I doubt it will be a huge triumphant moment where they and they alone save the day or deal the final blow in a crazy act of self-sacrifice. Twst has always been a story that puts the NRC boys first, while Yuu is the observer.

I've noticed that the complaint of Yuu not doing a lot in the story comes mainly from English speaking fans?? And I guess that makes sense, given how western culture tends to emphasize independence and standing out. They want Yuu to reflect that. They want to be the ones to make a difference. I don't even remember ever seeing these same comments from the Japanese speaking fans; it's definitely a less common sentiment for them. The Japanese fans seem pretty content with Yuu being an observer and taking on more of a minor or supporting role. Again, this fits in with what I understand of many eastern cultures. They're demurer, not wanting to stand out too much from the crowd and instead prioritizing group harmony. Very interesting cultural difference to note!

It's a common theory (with many variants) that Crowley intentionally summoned Yuu to Twisted Wonderland for his own nefarious motives. People found him pretty sus right away due to how he seems to not put in any real time or effort into investigating a way to send Yuu home. Plus, there's that ominous opening monologue of his to consider. However, I don't think he summoned Yuu because of their (potential) great magical capabilities. The Mirror of Darkness tells us that it doesn't sense a shred of magic in Yuu, and Leona smells zero magic on them (though that could be because it hasn't technically manifested yet, as some fans claim).

The idea is that Yuu is supposed to be plain. They are supposed to be magicless. Why? To humble the NRC students and to show them that asserting yourself violently or with great magical power ISN'T the way to go. To show them value in strategizing (which Yuu does in the prologue by helping Grim aim at the ghosts), of camaraderie. What does it say about the story's themes if Yuu, the person who is supposed to be showing them the worth of mundane things, is suddenly... "secretly ultra-strong, actually”/“just like you guys” (even if it's only a temporary hope-fueled magic)? It might contradict what has already been set up. It also breaks the self-insert appeal of Yuu, since developing magic would also mean Yuu would later have to further develop things like proficiency in magic, best/worst subjects, and an unique magic/signature spell... meaning Yuu HAS to become better "defined", thus losing their blank slate nature. This would surely upset some fans who deeply project onto Yuu, have a Yuusona, etc.

Yuu can still make an impact on the characters and the world--and they have, judging by how much closer the boys are with each other--without having to be The Most Special One or like everyone else. I think it undermines what Yuu has already managed to achieve to say that they haven't made an impactful choice at ANY point in the main story when I believe they definitely have. Yuu made the choice to sign the contract with Azul. Yuu made the choice to approach Malleus. Yuu made the choice to go against Crowley's orders and go retrieve Grim from S.T.Y.X. Yuu made the choice to get Leona’s help with the contracts. Yuu made the choice to stand with Adeuce against Riddle in book 1. Yuu made the choice to let the VDC/SDC tribe train at Ramshackle. Yuu has done a lot, and all without needing to seize the spotlight or to do anything big and flashy. I don't think Yuu needs to be big and flashy. There is pride to be had in simplicity and being humble too. There is pride in representing the 90% of humans in Twisted Wonderland that are ordinary and without magic.

(An aside: so if Yuu wasn’t able to manifest magic in many other extreme instances, does that mean their desire to save Grim in book 6 wasn’t “enough”? That their desire to save Ramshackle, their one and only home in this world, wasn’t “enough”? It implies that Yuu didn’t wish hard enough for these other things they clearly care about and want.)

I think a good way to give Yuu a decent role while staying true to their design as a blank slate would be for Twst to really lean into the whole "beast tamer" aspect that was introduced all the way back in the prologue. This would work well with their deep connection to Grim as well. Assuming that Grim ends up being the final OB... We could easily have the NRC students and staff on the ropes, Malleus at his wit's end after exhausting himself with his own OB, a rampaging Grim about to end it all. And then... one lone figure shakily rises from the rubble and confronts Grim. One human. Magicless, defenseless. A human lost in an unfamiliar world, a human who believes they're useless and don't contribute much. A human who is always in need of being protected by others. But not anymore. This time, it's Yuu's turn to protect what they love--their friends, this world they've come to love, Grim. Ace and Deuce yelling at Yuu to not be stupid, to get back--but Yuu just advances, calling out to Grim and begging him to stop. And maybe it's Yuu's wish that rallies everyone and/or gets OB Grim to hesitate. That's when they can strike. Is that corny? Yeah. Does it sound like the ending to a Disney film? Sure. But it still grants Yuu, a magicless human that is supposed to be there to teach everyone about friendship, cooperation, and humility, their big moment to shine. The best of both worlds, I'd say.

[notablenotions]

Letter from Henry to Hans and Jitka

Hans, Jitka,

Will be home soon. Probably. Maybe.

So—I was helping this lad woo his lass. Friendly favour. Next thing I know, I pushed her down a well by accident. It involved a riding crop, a chilled wheel of blue cheese, and several Latin texts. It was very intellectual actually.

Her suitor—some minor lord—wasn't thrilled. Her father even less so. Especially since it was the morning of her wedding.

They imprisoned me. Fair.

I escaped after discovering a locked pantry containing sausages and a suspicious barrel of vinegar. Used the grease to slip through the bars. Dead clever. Shame the manor caught fire. Not sure how.

On the road, I saw a bear. Looked me dead in the eye. Like a person. So I followed it. We sat. Shared some honey. Talked about mortality. Turns out it likes cheese too. Said goodbye—emotional moment.

Then saw something shiny in a river. Went to pick it up. Looked up. Saw a lass dancing in the shallows. Gorgeous. Full of stories and moonlight. We talked, danced, she gave me a rabbit’s foot that smells like old soup. Read my palm, said I’d “get lucky soon.”

We were mid dance when her father appeared. One of the washerwoman’s sons. Fight broke out. Minor fire. Entire field burned. Possibly the house too.

Stole his horse. Rode like hell. Lost horse in a dice game.

But the winner was kind. Told me of his cousin’s second cousin’s mate’s brother’s sheep’s owner’s booze stash.

Went. Drank. Blacked out.

Apparently, in the interim I:

Started a tavern brawl involving ducks

Proposed to five people (two were nuns)

Taught a goose to swordfight

Replaced a priest’s communion wine with mead

Declared myself “King of Turnips”

Bit a knight on the arse during a duel (apparently not mine)

Convinced a choir to sing nothing but tavern songs

Was found napping in the town fountain, wearing only boots and a flower crown

So now I’m in prison. Somewhere. Unclear where. No one will tell me.

P.S. Dunno where Pebbles is.

– Henry

---

Reply from Hans and Jitka to Henry

Hans writes:

Henry.

I am halfway between tears and absolute collapse. You have, in a single letter, shoved a noble’s bride down a well, burned two estates, befriended a bear, started a cult of cheese, corrupted a choir, bit a knight, and potentially launched a goose-based militia.

You are now legally at war with seven noble houses, one abbey, and nature itself.

I don’t know whether to rescue you or run far, far away.

Wherever you are—stay put. We’ll come get you. Probably with disguises.

– Hans

Jitka adds:

Henry,

You’ve become a legend in the worst possible way. There’s talk of a wandering cheese prophet. A goose duelmaster. A man in boots and nothing else blessing crops with song.

Mutt howled at your letter. Again. I think he senses the chaos.

Stay alive. Avoid fires. Don’t shove anyone else down a well. And for the love of God, stop accepting cursed animal parts from strange women.

We’re coming. Don’t move. Don’t speak. Don’t look at any more bears.

– J.

---

Henry King of a side quest

[hexedwinchester]

What the later seasons of Supernatural are Missing?

It's no secret that as Supernatural added more seasons, the quality of the show deteriorated and the only reason it ran so long was because of Jared and Jensen. This dilution is attributed to a lot of reasons: Kripke's era coming to end, change of writers and show runners, poor writing on the part of new writers, focus of the story shifting from Sam and Dean to supporting cast. But here's something I don't see folks mentioning a lot and that is it lacked a good villain and not just that but rather a good villain with personal interest/vendetta with our boys. Let me explain..

Season 1 and 2: Though season 1 starts off with the boys looking for their father, the plots twists into Yellow Eyes chasing Sam down for personal reasons. He is invested in Sam, personally. That's what makes it beautiful

Season 3: Stakes are high as Dean is on the clock to walk the red carpet to Hell. While that's a major crux, Lilith who holds Dean's contract is also making the vendetta quite personal

Season 4: Sam is pumped on Demon blood being manipulated by Ruby to kill Lilith to stop the apocalypse with a side of getting some revenge for dragging Dean into Hell. See what I mean? Personal again. It's all about the boys

Season 5: it can't get any more personal than Lucifer and Michael twisting the guys to say yes to being their vessels. While the angels try everything to get a yes from Dean, let's put that aside for a minute and focus on Lucifer. His first interaction with Sam is in the form of his dead girlfriend. His obsession with his vessel is so fucked up, as if he knows Sam inside out, like he already has crawled under his skin. One look at Lucifer will tell you he only has eyes on the prize: The Great Sam Winchester. That's what made this season great!

Season 6: This is where it subtly starts to go downhill. While the Soulless Sam storyline holds interest, the whole find the purgatory feels like a side quest i'd be happy to skip because the prize is not our boys' journey. Frankly, I don't care a damn about the war between Heaven and Hell

Season 7: Probably in the top 5 of my least favourite seasons. Leviathans were lame with their world domination plan by buying real estate and their leader Dick Roman sucked. It seemed like a USA problem than Sam and Dean problem. The worst of it all? Borax kills them?! Say what?! Wut?! The oldest creatures with a weakness of cleaning agent?! What's next? Shedim are scared of hyaluronic acid? Let's squirt them with moisturizer!

Season 8: This was one of those seasons without a proper antagonist. And yes, the angel/demon tablet fiasco. Nothing against advance placement student Kevin but I didn't enjoy the prophet storyline. It would have been interesting if they made it personal to the boys. I loved the Trial Sam storyline and what would have made it better would be if instead of Kevin if Sam could translate the tablet after spending all those years in Hell, you know?

Season 9: Though Gadreel wasn't the main antagonist, his possession of Sam was good. I would have loved it if they extended the part when he doesn't get out of Sam, made it personal, something like Meg!Sam situation. On the other hand, I was happy with Metatron. He was sneaky, cruel and power hungry and it was personal after he got Kevin killed.

Season 10: Somebody jog my memory of what Season 10 was supposed to be other than Demon!Dean and Mark of Cain. I have already made a post on how Demon!Dean was not utilised to a full potential and i stand by it. And that's all I have to say about this season.

Season 11: Darkness and her personal connection to Dean. Now, see the idea sounded good in theory. But sadly, they never exploited this personal connection. It could have played so well but no, they made it about God and his sister. This season also provided a gateway to bring back Lucifer but...

Season 12: it brings us to the season I hate the most. We got Lucifer back but he was no longer obsessed with Sam? (Yawning!) We got BMoL but oh god they were nothing more than a bunch of snobs in suits or as Sam rightly said "accents in a pansuits". Like seriously, what could they do to him? Nothing, that's what. Then whole Lucifer's son plot was so weak, it makes the entire season difficult to watch.

Season 13: things get very blurry for me from this season onward, so bear with me if I don't get everything right. Probably second on the list of SPN seasons i hate. This is the AU plot right? It was interesting when they mentioned Michael lived in AU but oh god they should have made Michael obsessed with Dean. Stalking him, torturing Sam to get the yes. But nope, none of that.

Season 14: we get Michael!Dean but see it's missing that personal grudge. It feels like a random possession. They could have played this so well, perhaps given us the OG Lucifer vs Michael battle.

Season 15: God? The villain? Again one of those plots that sound amazing in theory but the success lies in the execution. At least, they made it personal so that was really great. What I don't like about this season is the finale. And no, I don't mean the whole who dies, who lives. Or the rebar. Or the safe life with blurry wife. I mean the epic showdown between God and the Winchester that we all were expecting. That storytelling was missing. I don't want punches, I want a freaking battle!

Simply saying, what do you think makes Joker or Moriarty or Lord Voldemort a good villain? It's not just their power. It's their obsession with the protagonist. You take them out, that's the end of it. (I'm looking at you, Sherlock, BBC show)

In conclusion, when the show stopped making the battles personal to the brother, stopped writing the hero's journey, skipped the storytelling element and wrote villain that weren't quite as obsessed with the brothers, that's when it started falling apart.

[beardedmrbean]

Japan’s largest tourist demographics are canceling their trips to the country in droves after a manga that predicted the 2011 Fukushima nuclear disaster warned of another catastrophe to come in 2025.

The manga in question is Ryo Tatsuki 1999’s publication ‘The Future I Saw.’ The story was inspired by a collection of Tatsuki’s dreams, which she would record in a notebook upon waking.

One of her dreams inspired her to write the phrase, ‘The great disaster will occur in March 2011’ — the same month and year that the Tohoku earthquake and tsunami happened, resulting in the Fukushima nuclear disaster.

That phrase graced the cover of ‘The Future I Saw’ 12 years before the catastrophe took place. Once this fact became widespread, the previously obscure manga became a highly-coveted piece of media, even selling at auction for over 100,000 yen.

The Future I Saw famously predicted a major natural disaster in 2011.

Clairvoyant manga claims the sea south of Japan will “boil” in July 2025

In July 2021, Tatsuki was set to finish a ‘complete’ edition of her prophetic manga. The day before the deadline, she dreamt of the words, ‘The real disaster will come in July 2025.’

“The sea boils south of Japan in July 2025 and it will cause a mega tsunami,” she wrote in the manga. According to her, the tsunami will stem from a violent underwater eruption that will hit Japan, Taiwan, and Indonesia. The crack, she says, will appear under the seabed between Japan and the Philippines.

In her dream, she envisioned an earthquake ‘three times’ the size of the Tohoku quake, with a deadly tsunami resulting from an underwater eruption between Japan and the Philippines. The disaster will supposedly affect Japan, Taiwan and Indonesia.

In Ryo Tatsuki’s ‘The Future I Saw,’ the protagonist grapples with a series of events they saw in a dream – some of which turned out to come true in real life.

Since her previous prediction turned out to be true, those who hoped to visit Japan during the summer are steering clear of the island country for the month of July.

As reported by CNN, travelers from Japan’s largest tourist sources are canceling their plans. CN Yuen, the managing director of a Hong Kong-based travel agency, says that trips to Japan plummeted in half during April, and are predicted to drop even more within the next two months.

These travelers are largely from China and Hong Kong, which make up Japan’s second and fourth-largest tourist demographics. However, these fears have also made their way to Vietnam and Thailand, where social media teems with videos urging potential travelers to stay away.

Yuen says that these suspicions have become “ingrained” in people and said they “want to hold off their trip[s] for now.”

Tatsuki has predicted a slew of other major global events that came true. For instance, she foresaw the 2020 pandemic and even the 1995 Kobe Earthquake, which killed 6,400 people.

Given her apparent clairvoyance, Tatsuki’s prediction for July 2025 holds a lot of weight for those who are superstitious — and even physics in China are predicting a similar disaster for Japan at that time.