#nice contrast in choices! one is super angsty and serious and the other... ahem. is not.

[gingerteaonthetardis]

I am a very simple person I just want to know about Afterlife, and 'porno au, oh my god, send help'

sae!! i shouldn't even be awake yet, but i'm gonna answer this anyway. excellent choices, btw.

so, afterlife is a vampire au that i'm desperately wanting to finish before halloween. will it happen? idk, but i'm definitely trying. here's a snippet, though.

When it happens, it isn't a bite, really, so much as a nick. Like the blade of a kitchen knife on an unsuspecting finger. Not a puncture, but a scrape, a surprise—faint, and healed in a matter of days. 

It doesn't scar. Even if it did, she would be able to hide it beneath a shirt collar, a scarf, her curtain of hair. But it doesn't; it's gone by the time she's come back to herself, lying on the narrow, wrought-iron bed in Shell Cottage.

It's not a bite.

These technicalities feel important at the time, but they aren't.

aaaand i'm gonna put the next bit below the cut, lmao!

the porno au... oh god, yeah, so that was inspired by the 2008 movie zack and miri make a porno, which—if you don't know—is about two roommates who are incredibly broke and decide to make a porn film in order to pay the bills.

so, here's the summary i have at the top of my doc:

Broke roommates Fred (who just sunk the last of his money into his business) and Hermione (who does more pro bono work than paid work) are down to their last sickles and need a way to make rent on the flat over the joke shop.

In a fit of desperation, they decide to cast, produce, and perform in a porn film, the likes of which the magical world hasn't seen before, featuring an all-star cast:

⭐ Former Death Eater and social pariah looking for societal redemption, Draco Malfoy;

⭐ Free spirit and sexual libertine, Luna Lovegood;

⭐ Mild-mannered (and majorly closeted) man of leisure, Neville Longbottom;

⭐ Slytherin's scariest dominatrix who is trying to piss off her parents, Pansy Parkinson;

⭐ and, of course, the Golden Girl and Terrible Troublemaker themselves.

With the help of Colin Creevy's dubious filmmaking skills and after-hours access to Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes as a studio, will Fred and Hermione be able to rock the wizarding world's socks off with the power of their pornography? Or will their pesky feelings get in the way, ruining their friendship and the film?

if i ever get more than, like, a thousand words into this... it'll be epic.

now, ahem, it's time for me to go back to sleep.