#notes for therapy

[ventinggainer]

6/13/25

Yesterday I tried to be kinder to my mom, talked with her a bit. Wanted to connect over what she was making for dinner, a Paella. Asked her how it’s made and what’s in it.

She got upset because I’m a shut in and I rarely talk to her so the situation made her uncomfortable

I joked that I never do it because I’m a bad son, she was silent but she agreed.

I didn’t like what she made, I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for dinner, my leftovers went to dad after I tried about 5 bites. Al dente rice is not for me.

Next time I want to connect with mom I won’t be so forward but it’s progress made nonetheless.

After dinner she had me chase the dog around, (olive, small dog) it made my asthma flare up and I had to sit for 20 minutes before my lungs didn’t hurt.

Dad said I wouldn’t be so tired if I wasn’t fat

I responded “and if I didn’t have asthma”

He said I didn’t have asthma. I didn’t respond

[yther]

for some reason, I have given up every good thing in my life

[nakedanddismayed]

my mom is telling me a story:

a woman wants advice- her daughter wants to dance professionally. what is the roadmap?

my mom says she told her what she told me:

don’t do it. the odds of making it in the arts world are as low as playing sports professionally.

“do you remember when you asked me if you could major in theatre?” she asks me.

“no.”

“i told you you weren’t allowed and you took it well. you came up to me three days later and said well you majored in dance! and we laughed and laughed! … anyway.. do you ever want to get back into acting?”

i’m quiet.

“i genuinely don’t remember how to act.”

she laughs and thinks i’m being dramatic.

“it’s a skill. you have to work to stay good. i have not acted on stage or screen in 6 years.”

and i was good. i had the skillset.

most likely to win an oscar was my superlative in both high school and college.

i was on tv with people who are now in national commercials and movies.

i’m so happy with where i am so this is all for the best, of course.

but it’s crazy not to believe in your kids.

where would she be if her parents didn’t allow her to get a degree in dance?

i digress.

[fehck]

"Eyes. Those damn eyes fucked me forever."

Charles Bukowski

[goodguydotmp3]

Okay light bulb moment

I was thinking about how earlier I felt like roadkill and then I ate and I was Semi okay. That made me be like "oh ig I was just hungry?"

But no actually???? I have the autism?????? And yeah the communication bit is the thing that pisses everyone off, but the more serious thing to me is the struggle to do self care/self care ish tasks.

Everyday I have to get up, take mu vitamins prepare three meals at least a day and wash dishes at least one and a half times. I have to keep track of any supplies including the littlest shit (like makes sure I have ice for my water. I will not drink it if it isn't ice cold) and thats just the stuff I need to like. Not die.

That's not including anything else I need to do like doctors appointments, grocery, making phone calls etc. Like I lit can't do that shit.

So back to feeling like crap earlier, I completely forgot thw way that ppl hold stress in their bodies. I was holding all that stress and when I canceled everything and ordered a pizza I felt less dead bc I literally didn't have to feel the pressure of preformjng today anymore.

I have,,,, so many other thoughts about like. The Implications of everything but for now I'm just going to sit here and spiral a bit bc!! I feel like I just discovered Atlantis

[borfungus]

been a few loops since ur last touch therapy huh Lulu

[girlfriendftm]

Detrans note game: getting real

I will count all notes - yes, spam encouraged - for the next 48 hours.... but for every 500 notes, i will double the duration. This is also compounding (i.e., 500 notes -> from two to four days, 1000 notes -> four to eight days, so on)

Closed at 1930 notes! Final period was from approximately noon April 14 to noon April 16 April 30

Im also already somewhat down the re-feminization path, so you can go ahead and assume anything you expect to see as a goal but don't (like growing my hair, shaving legs, etc) is something i already do.

Repeating

Every 100 notes: wearing bra and panties for one day (final: 19 days)

Every 250 notes: keeping face shaved for one week (final: 7 weeks)

Every 300 notes: telling another friend or colleague that I'm actually a girl (final: six people)

Every 500 notes: as mentioned, extending the game duration! See above (final: increased to sixteen days)

Main Goals

✅ 75 notes: get a pretty pink manicure

✅ 150 notes: let tumblr pick a new girly name for me (voting complete! It's Lucy 💖💖)

✅ 300 notes: listen to detrans/feminization hypno and audio nightly while falling asleep, for the duration that it will take to complete every other goal

✅ 500 notes: piss on my old binder

✅ 750 notes: make myself cum in a mens room stall (Depending on how this game goes, this might end up my last ever visit to such a place...)

✅ 1000 notes: cut up and destroy my old binder

✅ 1500 notes: stuff my bras when i wear them to ensure people notice my tits

2000 notes: replacing as many of my shoes as i can with girly heels

3000 notes: buy a girly swimsuit and wear it at a public pool or beach

4000 notes: only wear skirts and dresses for the next month

5000 notes: tell my parents i think i want to detransition

[radrobsgarage]

There's this trope that I really like where they sort of phase into each other so here's my attempt at that

Here's some other artists' takes on it that are rlly banger...

https://www.tumblr.com/eggsplice/777655097066913792/codepency?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/lunehowls/774861934107492352/i-really-loved-you-you-know?source=share

There's more but idk where right now!

Here's the bg if you want it

[fakeboytits]

Detrans Notes Game

Repeatables:

Every 5 notes=1 day of not correcting people on my pronouns when I am misgendered

Every 10 notes=1 day wearing regular bras instead of sports bras

Every 20 notes=1 week of wearing a full face of makeup at least once per week (will try for more but it’ll depend)

One-Time:

20 notes=let you guys pick a “girl name” for me to put in my bio

50 notes=send a bra pic to anyone who asks in dms

75 notes=send a topless pic to anyone who asks in dms

100 notes=put my “stats” in my bio—height, weight, bra size, etc

150 notes=post my real deadname

200 notes=send a full-body nude to anyone who asks in dms

250 notes=post bra pics of me publicly on my account

300 notes=shave my pussy and show it off (censored posted on my blog, uncensored in dms)

400 notes=make an account on some kind of porn site, share the account name here, and start posting pics

500 notes=body writing, write on myself with lipstick whatever you want wherever you want, post a pic censored on here and uncensored in dms/on pornsite acc

[DEPENDING ON IF THIS PICKS UP, I MAY ADD MORE GOALS]

[puppyfakeboy]

Detrans Notes Game

Spamming is fine x

Repeatables:

Every 5 notes=1 day of not correcting people on

my pronouns when I am misgendered (1/10)

Every 10 notes=1 day wearing regular bras instead

of sports bras or binders (1/5)

Every 15 notes= I’ll sleep in just my panties for the night (1/3)

Every 20 notes= I'll rub my clit to all DM's I receive for the week (/2)

Every 50 notes= change my profile picture to whatever someone wants in dms

Every 90 notes= I will edge for an hour while looking at detrans posts

One-Time:

20 notes=let you guys pick a "girl name" for me

to put in my bio

50 notes=send a bra pic to anyone who asks in dms

75 notes= I will edge myself to straight porn once a week

100 notes=put my "stats" in my bio-height,

weight, bra size, etc

250 notes=post a bra pic of me publicly

300 notes=post my real deadname

500 notes= I’ll dm a picture of my panties to anyone who asks

700 notes= I’ll dm a feet pic to anyone who asks

1000 notes= make a cis girl blog

[xxskyethetiredemoxx]

Notes game cause I've seen people do it and it looks fun

10 notes: get off tumblr and do my homework

50 notes: brush my teeth every day (I try ok)

100 notes: practise guitar three times a week

200 notes: try and manage my time better so I have free time to do my hobbies and stuff

500 notes: deal with the mess on my bedside table

1,000 notes: look for a paid job (I quite like volunteering though, and like I want to stay there for a while, so yk)

2,000 notes: finish reading a book

5,000 notes: not do sh for three months (yeah no lol)

10,000 notes: maybe talk to my parents about mental health stuff (fuck no)

[cleoselene]

signal boost please, v important

IF YOU WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT AND HAVE A SECURITY CLEARANCE, PLEASE DO NOT SHARE TOO MUCH INFORMATION ABOUT YOUR JOB STRESS WITH YOUR THERAPIST.

The Trump Adminisration could use this to weed out government employees and contractors with security clearances who refuse to quit, because SF86 forms pull medical and therapy record. My friend's doctor had to write a signed letter stating their anxiety was not a threat to national security during the first Trump term.

This is how they are going to get to people who refuse to quit -- they will go after their security clearances.

I am making this post on behalf of a friend who asked me to inform people that this is an extremely dangerous thing to do at this time, and it's really awful and shitty that you can't even feel entirely safe in therapy, but this is our world now.

Please spread this far and wide. You may have mutuals or followers who are government employees with security clearances and not even know it, because the nature of the work is sensitive. As my friend said, if this saves even one person who is good and decent from being tossed from their jobs by these fascists, it's worth the reblog.

[fehck]

the rest of this quote reads, "but I am off my knees now." but...I can't say that yet...

[harbo-urr-chou]

In the bathroom

[delinquentkru]

robby being unable to admit langdon is his friend while simultaneously caring enough to tamper with evidence on his behalf…..he’s the avoidant attachment final boss, actually

[girlfriendftm]

Detrans notes game: dress me up for the pride parade ♡

Spam allowed. Two week time limit to decide my pride outfit. Make me regret this 😇

✅ 25 notes: Shave my face/body

✅ 50 notes: Panties and bra under my clothes

✅ 75 notes: Do some light but visible makeup

✅ 100 notes: T shirt with a slogan, something like "girl power" "feminist" etc

✅ 150 notes: She/her pronoun pin

✅ 200 notes: Skirt

300 notes: Incorporate the lesbian flag somewhere into my outfit

400 notes: Wear a ballgag as a necklace

500 notes: Toss the t-shirt - wear a bikini or bra as a top!

600 notes: Toss the panties - go commando!

750 notes: Bodywriting - poll my followers for something to write onto my skin

1000 notes: Wear a buttplug 😊