#nothing bad ever happens in bsh
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So I posted the BSH chapter here on the 23rd and uhhhh.
My dad had surgery on the 21st, and I jumped into caregiver mode. My grandparents visited us to see him for 3 days (i wanted to die). The USA went to shit. My boss went crazy and I'm losing my mind. OH! And I have an infection đ
I haven't forgotten about Tumblr. I'll be posting the next chapter here soon (maybe tomorrow while im at work because fuck my boss), I've just been đ« đ« they are up on Ao3 if you wanna read a little ahead.
Thank you for being patient đ€ I'm going to bed now. Goodnight.
Edit: this is my 250th post apparently and I laughed because it was me just bitching a little đđ
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Iâm glad you brought up JK being defensive whenever Jimin tries to advise because thatâs something I noticed as well. Shippers like to criticize us for our take on their dynamic but arenât open to criticism of their own take at the same time. They glorify everything Jk does in regards to JM even when thereâs no truth to it. Like Jk genuinely thinks heâs an amazing singer and larps up praise for that and some part of me believes he thinks heâs a better dancer than Jimin as well. Heâs always open with his praise of Hoseoks dancing and will always say heâs bts best dancer even unprompted but will only ever compliment Jimins dancing specific to contemporary. Like when someone asked Jungkook if they saw Jimins stuck with u cover he was like âoh yeah heâs good at that type of dancingâ. Unfortunately son deok and BSH over praise of Jungkook and dismissal of Jimins skill did affect how he sees both of them in terms of talent. Heâs happy to give Jimin advise on singing (even when itâs not needed and the advice is bad) because thatâs the dynamic heâs more comfortable with. Him as the more talented, more skilled one. Itâs why heâs comfortable accepting records that he knows are rightfully Jimins as well. Anything else threatens the status quo
Yes, I agree with everything here. And his attitude is obvious to me so I can't skip it. It's clear he gets defensive, especially to Jimin now, because it wasn't like that in the past when they were still active as a group. And it's because they are all soloists now, who do you think is his biggest competition objectively? A male artist from kpop, who also sings, dances, is popular and has many fans. There's only 2 people that fit all that criteria in the group, and everyone knows how competitive he is so...
I think all the members have been conditioned not only to fit a role, but to also see the other ones in a certain role. And I talked about him having a fragile ego because it's true, otherwise he would find it easier to give compliments. But he says he's good, at that type of dancing, his voice is fitting, for the high notes. Like just say he's good nothing bad will happen omg! But he's also watching him constantly, his videos, his songs, he looks up the charts as well. He's aware, he just finds it hard to openly say it maybe because like you said it threatens the status quo that they have.
But like I said, I think Jimin knows now how to handle the different dynamics, as he reacts less to those comments. And frankly I don't think he is in competition with anyone, I think he's just focused on improving himself so that's good.
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That recent picture is so me, I AM TRAUMATISED BROTHER.
Btw, HAPPY HALLOWEEN đ»đžïžđ, did you celebrated it and how is your day going? I have been busy and spacing out with stuffs.
â đ
Hi Moon!!
:D nothing bad happens in BSH. New chapter should be out today!
I "celebrated" Halloween. I went to my friends wedding and it was a costume party for the reception, so much fun!
Today, my editor (main one that I take screen shots of their reactions to put), our friend, and I are going to see Dreamcatcher! Very exciting. I hope your days have been well!!
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Chapter 39: Heavy Clouds
Chapter Word Count: 5,247
TW
(Spoilers but PLEASE) Decently graphic descriptions of TORTURE (not limited to: knives involved, electrocution, strangling, claustrophobia) Bringing up Mouse's trauma. ChapterâŠ12 is brought up, I'm sorry Mingyu Mouse fights back a little
Author's Note:
I am....sorry not sorry for this. Nothing bad ever happens in BSH. I'm going to hide now :D Thanks to @pinkskiddo for being my beta reader and hating me every step of the way!
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Pacing, that was what Jeonghan has been going for the last three. Fucking. Hours.Â
He started in the office upstairs after the meeting with the group, aimlessly walking around past whoever was left. A majority of their allies had gone out to search while he and Seokmin were ordered to stay behind. Quickly he got bored of the same four walls and made his way downstairs, walking around the outer wall of the warehouse floor. His nail beds were picked and bitten from his anxiety, every single worse case scenario running through his head in his worry.Â
I need to get out of here. He told himself, moving to nip and pull at the skin of his lips.Â
It was probably easy to slip out unnoticed from the warehouse. The one major thing he had to worry about was running into any of SVT, specifically Seungcheol. Standing near the foot of the stairs, face twisted in thought, Jeonghan had two ideas running in his head.Â
One, as he thought earlier, he could walk out the doors and one could stop him. Definitely one of the perks of being a boss within SVT.Â
Two, he gets someone upstairs to go with him. Siyeon was still up there with Wonwoo and Yeosang, hoping to find a glimpse of Mouse anywhere within the city. SonaâŠYeah he didnât know where she was. Once she showed up and got orders, he hadnât seen her. There was also the fact that Seokmin was sulking upstairs, quietly boiling in guilt and anger.Â
Scanning the nearly empty warehouse floor, Jeonghan made up his mind and hurried up the stairs. He popped his head into the office and called for Seokmin to talk in private for a moment. The other looked confused yet still left the office.Â
Closing the door firmly behind Seokmin, Jeonghan grabbed his arm and dragged him down the stairs. âHurry up, we need to get to the store room.âÂ
âWhat-â
âDo you want to go find Mouse or not?â Glaring over his shoulder to Seokmin, he released the otherâs arm while he nodded. âThen grab a gun and let's get out of here before anyone realizes we are gone. Leave your phone here so no one can track us.Â
Making their way into the store room, Jeonghan tossed his phone on a random table and went for the gun wall. He grabbed a double holster that went over his shoulder, securing it tightly then loaded two light weight handguns into their slots. Seokmin did similarly, grabbing three extra gun magazines of bullets and handing some over to Jeonghan.
âWe can head out the back and grab your car.â Jeonghan adjusted his jacket, one that was actually left at the warehouse, long with thick material to stay warm, making sure his weapons were hidden.Â
Placing his phone on the table, Seokmin nodded, grabbing a knife and a flashlight as well. âOkay, letâs go.âÂ
Peeking out of the room, Jeonghan made his way to the back door with Seokmin. He still couldnât find Sona as he walked quickly but no one upstairs could see them from the area they walked. He sighed a shallow breath when they made it out without anyone spotting them. He didnât know why he was so worried though. He was a leader of the group, butâŠSeungcheolâs words were more law in actuality. Everyone still answered to him.Â
They successfully got within a few hundred feet of Seokminâs car, eager to get on the road, but Sona came into view, stepping out from behind the vehicle. Her arms were crossed over her chest and she stepped forward, leaning herself against the driverâs side door.Â
âMind telling me where youâre going?â She tilted her head, drumming her fingers on her arms.Â
âOut,â Was all Jeonghan answered, sliding his hands into his pockets. âIf you will excuse us, Sona, we have someone to find.âÂ
âThought King said to stay put.â She didnât look impressed at all.Â
âSona, do not patronize me right now-âÂ
âKinda hard to leave when Tempest forgot his keys.â She raised said set of keys up, clicking her tongue. âIâm driving. Boss man ordered me to stay back as well.âÂ
âNo-âÂ
âDo you want to run into King? I know which district he took with some of the guys.âÂ
Sona unlocked the doors, sliding into the driverâs seat with ease. Jeonghan took the passenger side and Seokmin grumbled that he was in the backseat of his own car.Â
âBy the way, you guys arenât as slick as you think.âÂ
âYeah yeah, shut up. Now help me find Mouse and Iâll raise your salary.âÂ
âOn it, boss.â

You were unsure of how long you had been standing in the dark.Â
Nightmare , as you had come to learn your torturerâs name, was true to his word, not wanting to waste any time.Â
After the cut to your cheek, his actions only started to ramp up. You went from sitting in the old metal chair to standing with your bound hands above your head, connected to a hook keeping you upright. Your feet barely touched the floor on your tiptoes and the rope continued to dig harshly into your wrists until they started to bleed. Joker had one of their underlings get another bucket of water and threw it on you again.Â
The shivering that you couldnât control had used so much of your energy to stay warm but it did nothing to help. Dickhead, as you called Nightmare going forward, got an electric powered generator and jumper cables with wet sponges clamped to them. With you standing, he slashed your shirt off with the pocket knife from earlier, the blade catching on your skin and leaving a cut to your stomach. You groaned in pain, jaw clenched tightly to the point you thought your teeth might chip.Â
âYouâve got quite the history here.â Joker started, sitting down in the chair you were in previously. He crossed his legs and leaned back, obnoxiously if you might add, and raised a brow at the information in hand.
You didnât give him an answer, breathing deeply through your nose and watching him past your eyelashes. He flipped through some papers, an annoying hum floating its way across the room from him. Dickhead stepped closer, cable tongs in hand with what you assumed was rubber gloves covering up to his forearms.Â
âIt wasnât easy to find some of this information,â He started, stopping on one particular page. âY/N L/N. Your records have a lot of redactions too.âÂ
The scoff you let out was followed by a huff, trying to adjust your wrists to relieve some pressure but your footing was hard to find, making it hard to find any comfort or relief.Â
âAnd somehow you went from a normal person with a tragic past to getting all tangled up in SVT, didnât you? How did you manage to do that?â Joker narrowed his eyes when you didnât answer. âI asked you a question.âÂ
Dickhead jabbed the wet sponge against your base side, holding it there. The muscles in that area tensed up and the painful vibration of electricity shot through your system. You let out a cry of pain that had your breath catching in your throat, unable to move away from it to escape the pain.
âWill you answer me?â He asked over your shouts, apathetic to the situation. âAnything?âÂ
âFuck off!â You yelled, thrashing until Joker gave a signal for his companion to stop. An angered roar left you, quickly taking in air to fill your burning lungs.Â
Shaking his head, Joker clicked his tongue like a disappointed parent, a long sigh leaving him. âOh, Mouse, so far we have been so kind to you, havenât we, Nightmare?âÂ
âVery.â Once more, the sponge was pressed into your side with the second joining the other side.
The entirety of your body tensed up. You screamed loudly, muscles twitching and seizing. The moment the cables were removed, you fell limp, unable to hold yourself up. The pain in your wrists felt welcoming compared to the numbness and weakness that washed through you. There was a faint tingling where you were shocked, the unstable racing of your heart beating out of your chest and up into your throat.Â
Tears welled up in your eyes as your head hung down. Dizziness swirled your vision, the floor and walls felt like it was moving in a million different directions. The ache in your side stung when you managed to shift but you didnât give them the satisfaction of hearing you weep.Â
They exchanged a few hushed words before you were left alone, the lights flicking off. Left in complete darkness, you allowed yourself a moment of reprieve, hoping to be prepared for whatever they inflicted upon you next.Â
All you heard from the last however long was the mind numbing dripping of water from that leaky pipe. Your throat was dry and every breath felt like sandpaper, scratchy and irritated. The room was freezing, on top of being doused twice previously in water and your energy was rock bottom.Â
âYouâll be okay, Mouse.â You whispered into the blank space. âYou have to be okay. They wonât kill you. They canât. It isnât their endgame.âÂ
Your eyelids felt heavy, threatening to close as the exhaustion took over. You had little to no feeling in your arms from them being raised for so long, pins and needles stinging the nerves in your upper limbs. The headache transitioned long ago into a migraine, and the pain at your waist continued to tingle and sting in the chilled air.Â
While you should have been worried for yourself, you couldnât stop yourself from worrying about everyone else.Â
Was Seokmin okay after finding out you had been taken? How were Jeonghan and Joshua holding up? Had any of them got any rest? Were they eating at all? How were the rest of the groups holding up? Were they close to finding you?Â
You craved the safety of being around them. Their presence was what held you together when everything went wrong and right now you were alone, holding onto hope. There were cracks in the foundation of your stability. Mentally you could hold it together longer, but you were concerned of how long that hold out would be. PhysicallyâŠthat troubled you more, already feeling sluggish. If they came in and unhooked you, there would be no stopping you from crumbling to the floor.
Letting your eyes shut, you took in slow breaths, grounding yourself to the reality of the situation weighing down on you.Â
âHave you thought about what your future would have been if you hadnât met us?â Joshua ran his hand up and down your spine, laying on the couch in your apartment, a calm weekday night.Â
You laughed, nodding your head. âAt first, yeah, but not for a little bit now. I had this decent life plan the moment I left college, like one of those dreams that manifest from watching too many rom-com movies.âÂ
Joshua joined in your laughter, resting his cheek over the top of your head. âTell me about it, please?âÂ
âWhen I first moved into my old apartment, I told myself three things.â You thought back, unable to stop the giggle from bubbling out. âFirst, I wanted to steadily climb the ladder at work to live a comfortable life where I didnât need to worry too much about money.âÂ
âGot it, so you kinda have that with us.â Wrapping both arms around you, Joshua placed a kiss on your forehead. âMinus the work ladder thing, of course. Sounds boring.â
âSecondâŠmy plan was to find myself a significant other after I had the stability I craved. I remember wanting the stupid suburb house with the stupid little white fence.â You rested your chin on his chest, seeing him try not to laugh. It did sound a little dumb. âNumber threeâŠâÂ
Noticing your hesitation, Joshua raised a brow, pouting a little. âNumber three?âÂ
Pushing yourself up, you straddled his hips, smiling to yourself as you shook your head. âI wanted to get married one day⊠Give myself a life I didnât know I wanted until I was mostly free of my past. IâŠwanted a family too so I could be the parent mine werenât to me.âÂ
Joshua stared up at you, wide eyed but a glimmer of fondness shining. He gazed over your face, placing his hands gently on your hips before that loving, familiar smile spread on his lips. He scoffed but his grin continued to grow wider until he couldnât any further.Â
âWhat?âÂ
âNow that you are here with us, what do you think now?âÂ
Reaching out, you pushed some hair back from his face and cupped his cheeks. âWell, I kinda have one and I pretty much have the second one, times two.âÂ
âAnd number three?â Leaning up on his elbows, he tilted his head to the side.Â
âHmâŠâ You smirked, biting your lip to hold in your snicker. âYouâll have to fight Jeonghan for that oneâŠMaybe even Seungcheol.âÂ
âEw, gag.â Joshua fake gagged and you fell forward onto him, wheezing out a laugh.
âNeed to spend less time with Seungkwan and Mingyu, babe.âÂ
â
âY/N?â Your head snapped up to the sound of Jonghoâs voice from behind you. Just as you had much earlier in the night, you watched as he crawled out the window to join you on the roof, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders and another one in hand. âItâs freezing out here, dude.âÂ
âIf itâs so cold, you didnât have to join me. You know I donât mind sitting out here.â You took the blanket he offered either way, letting him settle close to your side. âCanât sleep?âÂ
âNot really. I tried for a while but I kept tossing and turning.â He tucked his knees in towards his chest, pulling the blanket tighter around his shoulders. There was a dark bruise already blooming on his cheek. You grabbed his chin and turned his face towards you to see it better. âI didnât wash the dishes right so he hit me.âÂ
You didnât hesitate to throw your arm over his shoulder and pulled him close. He, though typically adverse to affection, leaned his head on your shoulder. You could feel his posture slump and a sigh puffed out in the cold air.Â
âIâm sorry, hun.â You rested your cheek against the top of his head, âIâm gonna get us out of here, promise.âÂ
âHow do you think youâll do that?âÂ
âYour pick; bottle rocket, sugar in the gas tank, vegetable oil in the engine, or calling child services.â You were glad to hear his giggle, a big grin on his face. âOr I could do all over them at once and really fuck them over.âÂ
âBottle rocket in the exhaust pipe?â He suggested and you laughed quietly, not wanting to wake your foster parents.Â
âI can definitely start there. It will take some time to get it since I got to be sneaky.â Ruffling his hair, you sighed, leaning your head back to stare up at the sky. âWeâll be okay, Jongho.âÂ
âWhat if they separate us?â He sounded worried. âWhat then?âÂ
âThenâŠâ You tried to think of the best thing to say at the moment. âThen you face the world with your head held high and remember that you are a smart kid. You make sure you keep your grades up so you get into a good college to be successful in the future.âÂ
âDo you think Iâll ever see you again?â Jongho lifted his head from your shoulder, wide eyes staring back with worry.Â
âYeah, you will definitely see me in the future.â Internally you werenât so confident but you pinched his cheeks, seeing him cringe and swat your hands away. âIâll make sure we see each other in the future. And I sure as hell hope fate helps with that.âÂ
âIâm gonna miss you, Y/N.âÂ
âIâm gonna miss you too, Jongho.âÂ

They had been out searching for hours .Â
Joshuaâs skin was crawling with well hidden anxiety but Seungcheol was fuming every step of the way. While he attempted to keep a level head, Cheol wasnât hesitating to tear things apart as time went on. The leader would enter a space with authority and at the drop of a hat would have him and their men that they brought along trashing a space before moving on when Mouse wasnât found.Â
âItâs been hours, how has no one found any signs of her?!â For the first time, Seungcheol vocalized his anger, standing in the most recent drug den they raided.Â
Joshua ran a hand through his already tousled and knotted hair, sighing for the hundredth time within the last two hours. Leaning himself against a half broken table after checking its stability, he placed his hands on his knees, taking a few deep breaths. Cheolâs anger was palpable and it was starting to get to Joshua and pull at his last string of resolve.
âWe have hundreds searching the city, weâve been searching. It would be a good idea if we branch out from the city and look at surrounding areas.â Joshua heaved out the suggestion, throwing a hand up in thought. âI donât know where else we can look around here, Cheol.âÂ
Seungcheol pulled his phone out and made a call to Wonwoo, asking him to contact half their help to expand their search further out. Joshua watched as his friend paced, pulling at his hair, shaking with unraveled concern and frustration.Â
âWhat do you mean Seokmin and Jeonghan are gone?â He stopped his pacing, confused as his eyebrows furrowed together. âWhere-? Huh? With? OkayâŠFuckersâŠJust, tell them not to be fucking idiots and that Sona is in charge of them- Yeah, just keep me updated on anything you guys find and Iâll keep you updated here.âÂ
As he hung up, Joshua scoffed, shaking his head. âWhat did you expect them to do? Listen in a situation like this?âÂ
âNo but- I donât know- At least they have one person with themâŠâ Seungcheol grumbled, still fuming down at his phone. âWe are going on hour seven and nothing. How does someone simply disappear without a trace?âÂ
Swallowing down the lump in his throat, Joshua let his eyes well with tears, jaw clenched uncomfortably tight. He dropped his head, raising a hand to rub and message at the back of his neck. His shoulder, neck, and back were tense, moving wasnât the best idea but he was running on waning adrenaline, maybe a coffee from the morning, and anxiety. The necklace Mouse had given him for Christmas rested heavy around his neck as he felt the metal against his hand. Joshua let himself trace the chain and brought it to his lips, gently kissing the pendent.Â
They were going to find Mouse, he had been chanting it every building they entered into and tore top to bottom. No figurative stone was going to go unturned but he worried for the state sheâd be in once they got her home. While he knew Mouse was strong and could withstand a decent amount, what were the people that took her submitting to her to? Was she holding onto hope like they were trying to? It was getting difficult to keep his head on straight.Â
Cheol rested himself against the broken desk beside Joshua, shoulders slumping. âIâm starting to think like Han, Shua.âÂ
âYah,â Joshuaâs head shot up, barely holding back the tears that threatened to fall. âDonât you start with that shit either. Come on, man.âÂ
âI-â Cheol paused, raising his hands to his face and sniffling, which caught Joshua off guard. âFuck, man. I canât fall apart right now.âÂ
âDo not-â Joshua shuttered, unable to keep his voice stable. He let the tears he was holding in slip down his cheeks.Â
Seungcheol threw an arm over Joshuaâs shoulder and tugged him into his side. Though quiet, they cried in relative silence, letting the stress of the situation take hold of their emotions. The grip on Joshuaâs shoulders was tight as Cheol muttered something he couldnât make out, maybe a prayer, grounding the two of them to reality. Neither of them heard the footsteps approach but a voice caught their attention.Â
â King, Hades ?â There was hesitation in their crew memberâs voice, a nervous shift to his gaze. âWe- UhâŠThe entire place is fully clear, even the underground sections. Whenever you are, we are all ready to move out again.âÂ
Almost instantly, Joshua straightened up, wiping his face and stood. âWeâll meet you out at the cars, clear out.âÂ
Once he stepped out and walked away, Cheol sighed.
âI donât think she is strong enough like the rest of us, she probably canât withstand anything they might do to her.â Seungcheol ran both hands over his face, collecting his emotions as he stood, shaking his head.Â
âHey, man, donât underestimate my girlfriend.â Joshuaâs attempt at a joke was met with a roll of the leaderâs eyes. He brought the pendant on his lips again, saying a silent prayer for her safety. âShe will be okay. Mouse is a fighter. Iâm sure she is giving whoever took her a run for their money.â
âI hope you are right on this one.â

âAll you have to do is answer the question, Y/NâŠâÂ
âAnd like I keep saying,â You spit out a decent amount of blood, thrashing despite your arms still being hung above your head, âSit on a cactus, suck a dick, and choke on it.âÂ
Beside you, Dickhead clicked his tongue, ready to aim another punch to your side. It would make for the tenth punch or kick he had landed as far as you counted. Both sides of your abdomen and the left side of your face hurt like hell. You didnât even want to imagine how you lookedâŠHell, you were having difficulty keeping your left eye open from the hits to your face. Joker stopped him though, standing up and strolling over towards you slowly, shaking his head.Â
âYou know,â He took a knife from the other manâs belt and unsheathed it. âYou are holding on much longer than any of us expected. Here I thought you'd break a long time ago, but here we are⊠Is it the trauma from finding your parents dead from an OD?âÂ
You swallowed thickly and tried not to say anything to his inquiry, needing to breathe through your mouth from how bad your face and nose felt. With the knife in hand, biting down on the inside of your cheek, unsure of his reactions in comparison to his counterpart seeing as he only asked questions so far.Â
âOrâŠwas it when you snuck into that building and saw SVT?âÂ
You stopped breathing, snapping your mouth shut.Â
How fucking long had they been watching you?Â
âYou saw, what? Two people get shot?â He started to circle your hanging form like you were prey, toying with the knife. âOrâŠwas it when Mingyu was shot?âÂ
ThatâŠyeah, that struck a cord inside that had you snarling at him. âKeep his name out of your mouth, pig!âÂ
âOh~â He chuckled lowly, tilting his head to the side. âProtective, arenât we?âÂ
Joker leaned close, using the knife to brush your hair back. âWould you like to know a secret?âÂ
When you gave no reaction, he brought his lips close to your ear. âWe gave the order to shoot first.âÂ
If you were an old cartoon character, steam would be blowing out your ears comically.Â
You pulled your head away from him before quickly slamming the side of your head into his face. There was the telltale, unmistakable cracking sound and he yelled out at the unexpected pain. Your head spun from the nonstop migraine youâve had pounding since you first woke up, yet the pain was welcoming compared to their treatment. Your cheek and eye area were pulsing, definitely swollen, along with the pain in your side from the electrocution. Dickhead was having fun using you as a punching bag when you didnât answer Joker .Â
âYouâŠare going to regret that.â Joker got into your field of vision properly, eyes full of rage.Â
His nose was broken if the cracking of bone wasnât enough, slightly tilted to the side, crooked. Blood trailed down from his nostrils and into his mouth, making him spit off to the side.Â
Harshly, his hands jutted out and wrapped around your neck, sneezing and cutting off your air flow. You gasped for air, struggling against your confines and swinging your legs out to get him away but it was useless. His grip tightened and the longer he strangled you, the more your vision started to get hazy around the edges. The moment your eyes started to roll back, on the verge of passing out, and your thrashing became sluggish, Joker released his hold.Â
The rush of air that filled your lungs was enough to make you go limp. Your head was light in the worst way and your extremities were shaky. Blood rushing through your ears hindered you from hearing their conversation, not that there was a care to give other than breathing. You did notice one of them move before the chain holding the hook up was loosened and your body crumbled unceremoniously to the floor.Â
Your bound wrists were grabbed as someone dragged you across the ground, the half broken ceiling lights fading in and out of your clouded vision. There was barely any energy left to struggle, too lethargic and woozy to figure out what they were doing with you. Whoever was dragging you dropped your arms and another pair of hands were tying your legs together.
You tried to focus your eyes on one of the men in the room, their words murky and distant but quickly stopped to save your strength. The light above that stared down at you was blocked by Kihyunâs big fucking head and his ugly ass smirk. He said something you couldnât hear so you didnât provide a response, only for a swift kick to land against the side of your abdomen and the pain had you curling in on yourself. From the feeling alone, you had a good handful of broken ribs, at least you were feeling something at this point.Â
A few sets of hands grabbed you next, hauling you up from the cold ground and carrying you somewhere. You were dead weight in their arms but they didnât seem to struggle, being tossed in a crate or box. Furrowing your brows together, you let your good eye flit around, confusion flooding your mind.Â
âWait-â The moment everything clicked, you cleared your throat, rough and frail from Jokerâs strangling. Two unknown men went to close the top and you attempted to set up, shaking your head quickly.Â
âWait no-â Someoneâs hand forcibly pushed you down and the box was closed and locked shut. You beat your hands against the top, darkness shrouding you. âLet me out!âÂ
The words had no force behind them, weak screams only bouncing off the walls of your confines. Continuously, you beat your restrained hands and feet against the top and sides as the panic rose in your chest. There wasnât a way to calm yourself, breathing coming out in short, sobbing gasps. At some point you couldnât make out any of the words you desperately tried to babble out. You hopelessly dropped your limbs, praying your eyes adjusted to the limited light soon.Â
You couldnât shift comfortably â or at all â, knees bent up with no way to straighten out. The only soothing thing was the cool metal against your barely clothed back, which gave you an answer of what kind of box you were in. The anxiety of being locked in used up the rest of your energy, your throat and sides hurt horrible, and your waning brain power struggled to take in the situation Monsta X placed you in.Â
As your eyes adjusted, you noticed the decent sized air holes from what you could tell, but they were near your feet so you couldnât look out and investigate around. Any attempt to focus on hearing anything came up short, your ears hadnât stopped ringing. Raising your wrists enough to see them, you determined there was no chance to get free, not even your legs with how small the space was.Â
Leaning your head back with a soft thunk, you took the pain radiating through your body as a sign that you werenât dead . Youâd grasp tightly on that fact to keep you going until you were home, however long that could be. You werenât sure how much more your body could take. Nightmare didnât pull a single punch or kick, he was uncaring with slashing, and the eclectic shocks had your heart all over the place. Now, in the metal box, you couldnât even begin to imagine what they were going to hurt you with next.Â
You didnât realize you passed out until a loud, rattling bang jolted you awake. The entire box shook violently and you shrieked in terror at the suddenness of it. Your body shook, tensing up in anticipation of another hit to come.Â
The knowing feeling of a looming panic attack built up quickly, fully triggered when hit after hit beat down against the metal. Whatever items they were beating your confines with was making a deafening, metal on metal sound. It reverberated off the walls, never letting up, and you struggled to breath through your (justified) hysteria. No amount of screaming or pleading was going to stop their task of your torture and their entertainment.Â
You knew it probably wasnât long yet it felt like it went on for hours. With your back fully against the bottom, you felt every single vibration like it shocked your system. It hurt even if it wasnât hitting you directly. You could make out the edges of the box denting from certain hits, making the already small space smaller the longer it went on.Â
With your hands bound, you werenât even about to cover your ears to block out some of the sound.Â
âMake it stop!â You screamed at the top of your lungs, hearing your voice echoing in your ears, kicking at the sides the best you could.Â
It didnât stop, tears were streaming down your face as you wailed helplessly. Trembling was the only thing you could do besides pray for relief.Â
You could feel yourself beginning to slip into a dissociative state, maybe from self preservation. The banging was starting to sound far off in the distance, out of body the longer it went on. The last time you really had a dissociative episode was in the shower after Mingyu was shot. You could remember the metallic smell of blood, similar to the inside of the box that surrounded you. There was that nauseating feeling in the pit of your stomach like you were falling out of the sky. The air around you was stuffy, your breathing was shallow the more you disconnected from reality.Â
If the hits stopped, you werenât able to tell. The repeated sound replayed in your head in time with the beating of your heart. Any pain you felt was pins and needles, or washing over with numbness, mind and body attempted to regulate their functions to protect you, if your body could protect you.

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Um. So funny story.
My insurance kicked me off.
I don't have therapy anymore :D
Chapter 40: Lost & Found
Chapter Word Count: (I stopped keeping track)
TW
Drowning Hypothermia Branding / Skin mutilation Forced drug over dose (complicated) Hallucination Everyone is sad, I'm sorry.
Author's Note:
I need to be euthanized, anyways-
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Anxiously sitting in the warehouse office, Chanâs legs bounced, unable to settle any of the uneasiness in his stomach.Â
It had been well over twenty-four hours since she had been taken. Chan wasnât dumb, he knew the statistics; the longer someone wasnât found, the less likely they were to be found alive . He had been stewing on that information for hours already.Â
He, Seungkwan, and Vernon, along with a team of their people, searched every club and bar SVT over saw in the city majority of the day yesterday and all night. They were living off many, many cups of coffee at that point. There was no sign of her in any of those buildings. Vernon had suggested going a little north out of the city to some places he knew of but those spots came up empty too.Â
Somewhere between needing to change and a desperate need to eat, Seungcheol called everyone back to regroup, only keeping their workers out to keep hunting.Â
âAnything?â Jongho hovered over Yeosangâs and Wonwooâs shoulders, he hadnât asked anything within the last hour of pacing, but he was hoping to catch a glance at anything useful on their computer monitors.Â
Yeosang looked up at him with a neutral expression but his eyes held the answer the younger man didnât want to know. Yeosang shook his head and Chan watched as Jonghoâs shoulders fell and a shaky breath was pushed out of his nose. He settled next to Chan where he leaned against the back of one of the couches, placing his face in his hands. Chan reached out a hand to clasp it on Jonghoâs shoulder, a silent acknowledgement that he was there.Â
Low murmurs between everyone was unnerving. With no answers and little further clues found, the unrest was tangible. The simple assortment of food that was laid out on the conference table was untouched and had long grown cold, even though Chan was starving. He tried a bite and the anxiety only had him sick to his stomach. Some people were barely holding onto consciousness, exhaustion from the worry and being on the go catching up to them and it was evident on everyoneâs faces.Â
Jihoonâs head was dropping and snapping up but he downed his third coffee â if Chan counted correctlyâ to stay awake. Seonghwa had given everyone some energy boosting supplement from their supplies. Minghao had downed a few painkillers to help against the migraine he had murmured about earlier but still rubbed his temples. Wooyoung, Changbin, and Yeonjun were making a lot of calls but nothing came out of those calls.Â
âI donât know where else to look.â Soobin signed, leaning back in the office chair that was pulled up to Seungcheolâs desk, looking over the city map laid out.Â
âWe have no leads on the water.â Seonghwa pinched the bridge of his nose, sipping his coffee. âTheyâve checked all vessels in and out of the waterways but nothing.âÂ
âPlease continue on with them if itâs possible.â Jeonghan looked like a shell of himself beside Joshua, both sitting side by side as Seungcheol paced behind them.Â
âI know you all want to stay out, but you should get some rest.â Minji looked at the three leaders than around the room, âWe can handle-âÂ
âWe canât rest.â Joshua shook his head, picking at his nail beds. âWe-â
âWe canât have you guys, or anyone one of us in here, passing out behind the wheel or no energy to fight.â Chris stopped Joshuaâs argument, frowning. âMost of us havenât eaten, I can speak for SKZ, but most of them are surviving on too much coffee and might crash. We can keep our people out but switch off crews so everyone gets some sort of rest, we need them to be attentive.âÂ
âWe should call in Rheia.â Jeonghan stated bluntly, a few heads whipping over to him in a mix of confusion and curiosity.Â
Sona pushed herself off the wall where she listened in, stepping forward towards the leaders. âHow-âÂ
âOddly enough, she was Mouseâs old neighbor, Ms. Nina.â He weakly laughed, pushing his hair back. âOr we ask Psy for help.â
âIâll call Rheia first. I know her girls. She can rally faster with those loyal to her.âÂ
Chan watched them talk silently, keeping Jongho close. Seungkwan sat at his other side, drumming his fingers against his thighs warily. Seungcheol continued to pace, only to stop abruptly, rubbing his hands over his tired face.Â
âGod, I hate that you are right, Chris.â He grumbled behind his hands, sounding drained, dejected. âSona, call her and let me know what she says.âÂ
âWe can meet again in the morning, Fresh eyes. We only need a couple hours to recharge.â Chris placed his hands on Seungcheolâs upper arm, âYou too, we can meet here back at six or seven.âÂ
âYeah, yeahâŠâ Sighing, his leader nodded, letting the fatigue take over some.Â
There was hesitation from everyone to actually move and leave. Seungkwan rested his head on Chanâs shoulder, staring out in the distance.Â
He took in a big breath, holding it in his chest before unexpected tears started to well in his eyes and roll down his cheek. Chan cursed pretty loud, quickly wiping his face in hopes to not worry anyone but the damage was already done. He hiccupped trying to catch his breath, Mingyu and Seungcheol descending on him in seconds. Seungkwan held him close, even Jongho provided physical comfort with an arm around him. He tried to brush them off so as to not baby him or get too worried.Â
âS-stop, stop please-â Chan pushed Mingyu back but the older man was also crying which made him cry more . âI-âÂ
Jongho silently squeezed his shoulder, a fresh line of tears running down his cheeks. There was a shuffle of feet as many were leaving to give them some privacy, but 99 line, Siyeon, and ATZâs youngest stayed.Â
âI miss Mouse,â Chan groaned, sniffling and leaning his head back. âI miss Mouse so much and Iâm so scared-â
âWeâll find her, Chan,â Leaning into Wooyoungâs side, Gahyeon cleared her throat, eyes puffy and red. Wooyoung didnât look much better. âBut we canât continue with little energy.âÂ
âI know- But how are any of us going to rest when she isnât home with us? Safe?âÂ
âWe will rest, just not peacefully, or well enough.â Seungcheol ruffled Chanâs hair, taking in a deep breath to clear his nose. âWe will stare at the ceiling until we pass out, running through every scenario in our heads until we pass out like we do when any one of us is hurt. We will get up tomorrow to get out there and search again.âÂ
âBoss-â Sona stopped into the room once more, phone in hand. She cleared her throat, breaking up the moment. âSheâd like to speak with you.âÂ
âGo home,â The leader spoke pointedly at everyone, âThe rest of you can come, go, whatever. Iâm assuming half of you are going to Mouseâs place anyways-âÂ
âGood to know you know what to expect.âÂ
âCome on, Chan,â Mingyu was gently bumped out of the way by Changbin, pulling him to fully stand. âFood is on me and Mouseâs couch is comfy.âÂ
âDonât touch her bedroom.â Joshua huffed. âWe-âÂ
âAy Ay, captain.â Changbin ignored any other word, throwing his shoulder over Chanâs shoulder. âAlright, Iâm thinking take out, or the diner, sitting on the couch, we can have a good cry then pass out.âÂ
âDoes food extend to us as well?â San asked, dragging Jongho at his side, making Changbin look back at the rest.Â
âHmâŠIâm feeling generous, itâs all on me.âÂ
Chan huffed out a laugh, using his sleeve to rub his face. âYou are over the top and ridiculous.âÂ
Chanbin took his phone out of his pocket, pulled up a delivery app and handed it over to Chan first. âThat is what friends are for, dude. We are in this together so get used to seeing me until we get her home.âÂ
âThank you, âBin.âÂ
âAlways, Chan.â

They were moving you.Â
You had been jostled awake by a jerking motion then the steady sway of being carried. The rest you got was nowhere near restful. Your body ached and screamed for any type of alleviation to the pain. You both felt everything and nothing at the same time. Physically you were alive, thankfully â albeit beaten and bruised, but alive. Mentally, the distance between your thoughts and reality was setting in more permanently.Â
Earlier, before you succumbed to unconsciousness, you swore you heard Jeonghan outside of the crate. His voice sounded soâŠso comforting, but he was telling you to sleep, to save whatever little strength you had left, like a guardian angel watching over you. When your eyes closed, you saw all of SVTâs faces smiling so gently at you, whispering to rest for the time you had.Â
Again, the box was jostled, however there was an audible splash that brought some life back into your mind. You took a moment to take in the silence before water started to trickle in from the air holes quickly.Â
Tucking your legs as close as you could to your upper body, you reminded yourself that you had to stay calm. If you panicked, youâd run out of air faster. Taking in slow, even breaths regardless of the panicked racing of your heart, you squeezed your eyes shut. The water rose within the space at an alarming speed, the freezing feeling of it sickening. You only had your pants and a bra on, nothing to help combat the cold, not that it could do much with soaked clothing.Â
You werenât sure when you started to pray but you muttered any and every god or goddessâs name you could think of. There was zero energy to space to struggle, not that it would be remotely worth any of the effort given your restraints. There wasnât even a tear to cry, eyes burning at how dry they were.Â
By the time the water reached your chest, you had slumped dispiritedly, letting your head rest against the back of the box in the shrinking pocket of air. The chilling sensation soothed some pain, yet heightened others in the laceration on your stomach and the spots you were electrocuted. You didnât stop shivering once it started, toes to your neck numb to different degrees. You were barely able to feel your fingers and toes. Your heart rate began to slow along with your breathing. You let your eyelids flutter closed, forehead getting pressed soon to the top of the box to hold out any more air.Â
âIâm sorry.â You said into the void, taking one deep breath. âIâm sorry for not being stronger.âÂ
â
â...er up!âÂ
Everything sounded like you were still underwater. You could feel you werenât as cold as before but you were still shivering.Â
You coughed to clear your throat but your chest was heavy, tight. Coughing harder, you felt a rush of liquid and you were pushed harshly onto your side to expel what was in your lungs. The more you coughed up, the lighter your chest felt, thank god, and the easier it was to breathe. You gasped helplessly for air, struggling against the hold whoever was restraining you had. Your ears didnât process the scream you wailed out as they hauled you off the floor, haphazardly being tossed into the metal chair.Â
They struggled to tie you down, fighting against your constant lashing out. You were confused, only trying to protect yourself. All your thoughts were scrambled and disorganized, trying to comprehend what was happening. You werenât dead, but your lungs burned and the fight or flight instincts fueled your exertion.Â
You were ninety-five percent sure you bit someone while you were struggling â or well, you think you bit someone. It could have been your tongue or cheek for all you knew.Â
Monsta Xâs men had finally got you re-tied to the chair. The ropes were tight but not as they were previously. There was some give even if they still dug in uncomfortably to your still fresh wounded wrists when shifting.Â
âMouse, did you have a good dip?â Kihyunâs condescension made you want to throw up more than just the water in your lungs. âWe are getting close to the end of our time together. Did you enjoy your time with us?âÂ
Unfocused, your hollow eyes stared up at him, eyes drifting to the five other men standing around. Their underlings stood not far off but you paid them little mind as you clenched your jaw. Joker was grinning with a lanky yetâŠoddly youthful looking man. Nightmare stood beside a man taller than him, broad shouldered and a dead inside stare. You recognized him from the gala, he sat a majority of the time and barely moved. The last person, their leader from the puzzle piece jumbled in your brain, stood with his shoulders back, a stern stare and tight jaw.
âIâm sure you had a great time, you look like you did, but we still have a couple more surprises for you.âÂ
Fuck off , you swallowed down the thought, no fight left to retort to his bullshit.Â
Kihyun flicked a glance to Nightmare , watching him disappear somewhere behind you. Your brain started to catch up more to the surroundings. There was a radiating warmth from behind you, it â though looming â was welcoming to your frigid limbs. You wanted to peek back to see what it was but your main captor used a finger to push your head back by the forehead. His pupils were blown wide, unable to tell if it was from drugs or sick excitement from watching you suffer.Â
âHold her down.â The leader spoke, the monotone voice you recognized from your first time waking up there.Â
Frowning in question, you flinched as Joker wrapped an arm around high on your neck under your chin and hand to your forehead to keep your head back. The man beside him grabbed your left upper arm while tall and broad took your right, firmly holding you in place.Â
Kihyun shoved a rag in your mouth that you tried to spit out when you opened to ask what was going on.Â
Nightmare appeared back into your line of sight not long after. You took notice of him stepping closer, raising what you realized was a branding iron. The iron itself was a simple X , bright red, burning hot, and being brought closer to your chest. Their grip tightened as you struggled, shaking your head. You screamed around the rag, lurching when the hot iron touched the center of your upper chest. Tears strung from your eyes, trailing down your cheeks as your head trashed.
The pain was short lived, maybe not even a few seconds, before the iron was pulled away. Your skin felt flush but the pain, at the moment, was numbed, dull at the initial sight. The nerves were probably dead, similar to a third degree burn. Your heart beat out of your chest and you felt faint. Even if the pain was short, all your internal systems were in overdrive, wanting to protect whatever part of your physical strength was left. You went limp, feeling their hold loosen, but the ghost of their touch lingering on your skin, and the rag was taken from your mouth.Â
âJust kill me.â You gasped out the words, trembling. âEnd it at this point. You donât want me, you want them. Clearly you know how to get to them if youâve been watching me.âÂ
âWhere would be the fun in killing you when we can deliver you to them?â Lanky with the young face hummed out the words, tilting his head to the side. âThat would break them more knowing they couldnât find youâŠor help youâŠGotta think big picture.âÂ
Nightmare scoffed, dusting his hands off as he rejoined the group. âThey got close, twice.âÂ
âYou worry too much.â Joker rolled his eyes, raising his wrist to check his watch. âTheyâve called Rheia .âÂ
âThen we are running out of time.â The leader sighed, â Charmer, get working on their security system.âÂ
Lanky hummed once again, grinning at you before turning on his heels to leave.Â
â Baron, Joker , keep them off of us a little longer. Shark, Nightmare âŠdo whatever you were planning to do. Donât overdo it.â
âOf course, Shepard .â Kihyunâs eyes lit up. âWe only need a few more minutes anyways.âÂ
âWe will prep the car then.â Shepard left with their men, leaving you alone with Kihyun and Nightmare .Â
âThere has always been one thing Iâve wanted to try,â The former man strolled back and forth as Nightmare moved again. âCan you guess what it is?âÂ
âA lobotomy?â The brand on your chest strung, or the skin around it did, the cold air raising goose bumps on your skin. âMaybe you could try self castration, heard it is all the rage now.âÂ
âCreative but no, Mouse.â He shook his head. âIâve wondered what would happen if someone was injected with too much epinephrine.âÂ
Your heart dropped to the floor. You know what epi did to someone having an allergic reaction, it saved lives or helped keep them alive until they got to a hospital. The epinephrine would get injected into the thigh since it was dangerous to go directly into the bloodstream.Â
âToday, you are going to be our little lap rat.â Kihyun took out a knife and leaned over to cut your pants, making a hole over your thigh. âNow typically, you are given a rather small dose in an epipen, but we basically are going to give you more for fun and observation.âÂ
âThat could kill me.â You swallowed weakly, watching him rip your pants.
âAh~â Kihyun snickered. âWe wonât let that happen, we said we wouldnât kill you, Mouse.âÂ
Nightmare handed over an auto-injector to the other man, moving to stand off to the side to observe. Kihyun twirled the device in hand for a moment, kneeling beside your exposed leg. You didnât meet his eyes when he glanced up deviously, only staring at the paint chipped, cracked wall across the wall.Â
He raised the injector and slammed it into your thigh, holding it in until the entire contents was pushed into your body. You bit your tongue at the pain, harshly, breathing out of your nose. It wasnât too long before your heart was beating fast and you were starting to sweat.Â
You grew increasingly lightheaded and both arms were starting to shake uncontrollably. It was getting hard to breath no matter how deep or steady of a breath you took, chest tight. Your eyes couldnât hold focus on the wall any longer, a constant state of mental static overtaking your thoughts. A wave of nausea rushed up your throat but acid only burned at the back of it.Â
You could feel the stares of your captors, observing each and every reaction like you were a rat in a cage. They looked on with way too much interest. Kihyun had stood up but your mind was way too detached to care.Â
You didnât feel good, obviously, but the main problem came when your heart rate slowed quickly, too quickly. You wanted to vocalize that something wasnât right but nothing came out, mouth opening and closing like a fish.Â
Nightmare said something to Kihyun that the latter rolled his eyes at. Surprisingly, there seemed to be a hint of genuine concern in the former manâs eyes but Kihyun held no care at all. You couldnât hear the rest of their exchange, like cotton was packed tightly into your ears. Your vision grew spotty, tunneling as the edges got blurred.
Itâs okay.Â
The voice sounded close but so far away at the same time.Â
Itâs okay, my dear.Â
YouâveâŠheard it before, a long time ago. It was sweet, comforting like a warm hug.
Youâll see us soon, weâve been waiting for you for so long.Â
That didnâtâŠsound right. You didnât want to go anywhere besides back to SVT.Â
You donât have to be scared, Y/N. You'll be by mom and dadâs side soon. You donât have to fight anymore.Â
NoâŠNo, you wouldnât. You were going to go home where you were safe, protected.Â
Just go to sleep, youâll be okay when you wake up.Â
No, no, Iâm going to get out of here. You promised yourself youâd get out.Â
The edges of your vision continued to grow dark, consuming your sight. The last thing you took note of was Kihyun and his sick, demented smile.

Tossing his glasses on the table, Wonwoo sighed, rubbing his hands over his face and massaging his temples. His eyes hurt, he was exhausted, and no amount of Monster energy drinks were going to help.Â
When they all gathered early in the morning, he went out with Mingyu so as to not be cooped up in the warehouse all day. Wonwoo was itching to help more than stare at his computer screen with nothing coming up as the hours went on. He grew frustrated when there was still no sign of Mouse and got dropped off to descend into the insanity once more of watching street camera feeds. He went at it for hours, sitting beside Yeosang and Siyeon, doing everything in their power to find her.Â
Rheiaâs people â her girls â were helping search the city from what Seungcheol explained the previous night. The older woman had been furious when she spoke to Cheol and Sona, thankfully not at them but overall from the fact Mouse was taken. She didnât want to get Psy involved yet, she had plenty of resources but if she wasnât found by the end of the day, he would have called in on her order.Â
It was New Years day for fucks sake. Last night there was no celebration, no party drinking (though a few did to cope and sleep), and no life in the penthouse. They were zombies walking. They should have been ringing in the new year on a joyous note but instead they were anxious and restless. Wonwoo only got three hours of sleep, max, and wouldnât lie that he had a drink or two to take some of the edge off before knocking out.Â
âMy eyes hurt like hell.â Siyeon complained, trying her hair out of her face the best she could. âIâve long run out of ideas of what to do and the longer I find nothing, the more frustrated I grow.âÂ
âYou and me both.â Yeosang took his headphones off, slumping back in his chair. âIâve exhausted any angle I can use.âÂ
âWhere do we even go now?â Wonwoo couldnât understand how there wasnât a hint of something to help them. He slid his glass back on and sighed again. âIâm not losing hope but what else is there to do besides help on the search front? No credit card use since it was left, couldnât track any second vehicle somehow, and they left her phone behind. I just donât want to find body parts scattered across the city.âÂ
Siyeon reached over and gave him a squeeze on the shoulder. âI have this gut feeling that wonât happen. We have a whole army looking for Mouse. She will turn up. Iâm more worried about how she will be when she is found.âÂ
âI donât want to imagine that, not yet at least. All of us already know what people are capable of but imaging Mouse, who is like a sister to me, hurt? I know the guys can handle a lot, but that might throw me over the edge or shut me down.âÂ
âI would bet both at some point.â Seokminâs voice surprised the three but they were thrilled to see the coffee tray he had in his hand. âNothing?âÂ
âNothing.â Wonwoo pulled out a chair for him, a small âthank youâ being let out as he took the drinks. âWhy are you back?âÂ
âSona said I needed to cool off so she dropped me off. Sheâs right on that one though.â He sighed, sinking into the office chair. âIâm too wired and she thinks Iâll snap and joked Iâd break my other set of knuckles, or worse.âÂ
Yeosang made a strange humming sound then sat up quickly. âATZâs system went down.âÂ
âWhat?â Wonwoo choked on his coffee, pulling his own laptop closer to see something similar for SVTâs system.Â
He typed quickly, trying to access any part of their system, flabbergasted that it even went out in the first place. Siyeon groaned in annoyance with DC down as well. The three of them tried to find what caused the shut down, throwing out empty suggestions or curses. With their systems down, everything was down; secure communication with the teams, the cameras in and around their properties, and all their security systems that alerted when people entered or exited. Theyâd be more susceptible to exposure and he didnât want to have the government on their asses on top of Mouse being gone.Â
âFuck, I canât get it back!â Wonwoo shouted, slamming a hand on the table.Â
âIâm locked out.â Yeosang groaned, fingers racing across the keyboard.Â
âDitto.â Siyeon put her head down, fists balled in anger before her head lifted and disbelief danced across her face before she glared at the screen. â I canât believe someone blacked us out.â
âUnbelievable- Seokmin call-â Wonwoo turned his attention to his groupmate, the other already on his phone, calling Cheol most likely.Â
âHey- No, listen to me.â Seokmin stood, pacing back and forth. âWe are down, Donât contact- yeah. If you see anyone, tell them to stay put. We arenât the only ones out.âÂ
âIâll send a message when we are back up.â Turning back to his computer, Wonwoo tried again to bring the system back. âThis is the worst time-âÂ
âOh! Iâm back!â Siyeon cheered, turning to Yeosang and Wonwoo.Â
âHow?â The youngest in the room frowned, confused.Â
âI dunno! It was dark then suddenly it was back up. Iâm going to run diagnostics for spyware or anything like that. Iâll be more thorough later.â She sounded as confused as Wonwoo felt.Â
âWhat?â Wonwoo leaned over, staring at her screen for a moment. âI hope this is some sort of flukeâŠâÂ
After a few more long minutes, Yeosang clicked his tongue.Â
âIâmâŠback in too? Same as Siyeon said. Iâm going to run a diagâ just in case too.â He typed awake, shaking his head. âNone of this makes sense.â
Sighing, Wonwoo stared at his screen, hoping his system came back as quickly as the others. Then he waitedâŠand waitedâŠand waited, with the three of them watching over his shoulder. He was counting the minutes, eyes darting to and from the time. Each minute was longer than the last, three minutesâŠfiveâŠtenâŠBy fifteen he was ready to rip his hair out of his skull.
âOh, some of your cameras are coming back!â
There was a small flood of relief filling his chest. They were the cameras overlooking the house first, which he scanned over but everything looked okay, secured. The penthouse cameras were back next, showing no issues as well. As he waited for the rest, Wonwoo sent a mass message through their system that they could be on the move once again. He started the beginnings of his own diagnostics test, both legs bouncing under the table.Â
âYes, the club camera are-âÂ
Wonwooâs mouth shut, the screen going black a second time and a red, blinking text cursor reflected back. Frowning, he went to type but nothing appeared as his fingers danced across the keyboard, showing it wasnât his own system. Seokmin voiced some concern but it died when text started to appear.Â
You should have kept a closer eye on her, SVT.
Simultaneously, all the cameras for Ruby pulled up on his monitor. Unlike their typical positions covering almost every corner of the place possible, a majority of them were centered on the dance floor.Â
He shot up from his seat, the chair falling to the ground behind him.
Laying in the middle of the floor, shirtless, bruised, and tied up in a thick red ribbon was Mouse. She wasnât moving, not that she possibly could with the ribbon and he couldnât tell if she was breathing either.Â
âIâm-â Seokmin started but Wonwooâs phone was in hand and he was walking out the door.Â
âIâm calling everyone, letâs go.â
The four were on the road with haste, piled into Seokminâs SUV with Siyeon driving. Yeosang was calling Seonghwa first, knowing theyâd need someone with more medical training/knowledge than anyone in SVT could provide, not that it would be logical with the situation. Wonwoo was getting any of their crew close to set up a perimeter around Ruby, staying hidden within the shadows. Wonwoo was hollering for Siyeon to drive faster despite her already being way over the speed limit.Â
He could see Soonyoungâs car haphazardly parked outside with one of their guys trying to move it. Siyeon parked and Seokmin and Wonwoo almost dove out before she was fully stopped. They rushed in, stopping at the scene that shattered his heart.Â
Jihoon was holding Mouse close with her half in his lap and his jacket draped over her upper half. The ribbon was torn to shreds, tossed aside away from them. She looked pale, gray even, and her face was badly bruised and cut. Seokmin was at her side in tears as Soonyoung came from upstairs with a first aid kit, maybe hoping something could help her.
âShe isnât waking up.â Jihoon scanned over her, lifting the jacket to see the damage. âGuys, we canât let Cheol, Han, or Joshua see this yet.âÂ
âWhy-â Wonwoo stepped over, letting Jihoon move the jacket more.Â
A majority of her torso was black and blue. Her wrists were red, cut, and probably tender to the touch. There was a long cut to her stomach and what he guessed was maybe burns on her sides. What had him fuming was the stark X branded on her chest. The skin looked irritated, gooey like it was healing, but there was a good risk that it could be the start of an infection.Â
âWeâll have Seonghwa look at her first.â Yeosang took off his longer coat and placed it over her as well. âSave her some dignity and their sanity. Iâll talk to him.âÂ
Hongjoong, Seonghwa, and the three oldest of SVT were next to arrive. Jeonghan and Joshua looked ready to pounce but Wonwoo, Soonyoung, and Siyeon held them back, even Jihoon was firm when saying they â she â needed space. They protested, crying and pleading to see their significant other yet it wasnât any use. Wonwoo held Joshua tightly to him while Siyeon and Soonyoung had Jeonghan.
âThank god she is breathing,â Seonghwa sighed, dropping to his knees to check her over. His body, along with Yeosangâs blocked their view of her thankfully. âBut her pulse is weak. She could be unconscious from shock, exhaustion, or even both. Probably dehydrated to all hell.âÂ
Yeosang whispered something to Seonghwa, causing the latter to look over his shoulder then back to Mouse, motioning for Jihoon to show him the extent of everything. More of SVT and their allies flooded the bottom floor of Ruby, still held back with Seokmin joining, knowing the injuries Mouse sustained.Â
âI need to get her to the clinic. Sheâll probably need some x-rays and I have a machine there.â Seonghwa called out and there was protest from SVT mainly as he stood. âHey, you know we are the only ones with the equipment to handle this. Once we have her checked, cleaned up, and in a proper bed, everyone can visit. You have to give me some time though.âÂ
âIâll come along.â Jihoon hadnât moved, holding her protectively, fixing the jacket.Â
âWhat arenât you telling us?â Seungcheol finally spoke shakily, eyeing Wonwoo.Â
âIâll explain, but donât push this anymore. Let them take her and get treated.â His tone had Seungcheolâs eyes widening in some realization of how bad it could be.Â
âThat bad?â Jeonghanâs voice was broken but Wonwoo only nodded to confirm one of his worst fears.Â
âWe should get out of here.â Seonghwa, along with Yeosang and Jihoon, gently lifted Mouse up. âJoong, drop your back seats, I donât have time to wait for the other truck.âÂ
There was a chorus of gasps as she was carried out slowly, the only thing they could see was the bruised condition of her face.Â
âIâll call, promise.â Jihoon said over his shoulder. âGet cleaned up and regroup, maybe get some proper food. She is in good hands.âÂ
Seungcheol watched the small group of them leave. Wonwoo saw him make eye contact with Sona in the back of the crowd and she nodded, following them out quickly. He didnât look pleased being left out of the loop but Wonwoo needed them to not fly off the handle like they probably would. He also needed them to let her out of their sight so Seonghwa could take her and treat her. If he didnât stop them, there was a good chance theyâd try to do it themselves out of heightened emotions, Jeonghan specifically.Â
âExplain, now.âÂ
Eyeing the crowd then Seokmin, Wonwooâs shoulders dropped as he finally let the tears fall when he squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, collecting his thoughts so he could articulate everything.Â
âI think we all should sit down firstâŠâ

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hello again, iâm the same anon who had wrote that huge message of me losing my mind. i am really a very shy person, and it takes a lot in me to open up and all but please i am a real person who really really loves your work that youâve done so far. i will keep leaving messages like this, so đ will be my emoji and i hope you donât mind.
now about your question..
did bsh scarred me? yes, but hey I knew what I was reading and not to be that person but I am someone who loses interest too easily and this is one of the reasons why I have watched a very less kdrama, animes or any shows, even when it comes to songs like, it has 0.1 second to convince me that it is good, and if that something lines to my lane, I am never ever leaving that until the end. Your bsh is one of that, and I can say that I have became more patient that I was back then đđđ I really sounded like a lunatic person in that tell I AM SORRRY LMAOAOAOOAOAOAOOOOOO
But still, I am gonna be patient and wait for few more chapters so I donât make the same mistake of reading the chapter and going insane but really, your bsh is really good and I hope you remember that. If you ever decide to become a writer, I would buy your books even though I am from somewhere where imported books can be quite expensive but yours will be worth every penny of it. Thank you for writing and dedicating your time and resources to write bsh. I hope mouse is safe and sound, and in the next upcoming chapters, and if not then damn you really are one of the brutal /j
Jokes aside, this is just my opinions and I hope you are also having a great time writing and to your editor(s?), I envy that person to be the first person to read because đđđđ DAMNNNNN, they really be going through all the stages of emotions and I am sure they must've gone insane while reading the latest chapter.
That is perfectly okay, I'm glad you are comfortable at least reach out this way! Love đ for you!!
I'm sorry that BSH had scarred you (not really, I knew what I was writing, I know what kinda demon I am). I know I'm crazy. I can tell you it doesn't get better for a bit :D If I remember correctly, the next chapter on AO3 is going to be- :D hahaha. You'll need to read the trigger warnings on that one. Mouse will be safe...eventually.
I haven't really thought about becoming a writer. This has juat been my hobby and how I spend my time decompressing after work. I have joked that if I turn the Google docs I have into the proper size (letter vs A4 I believe for books) it would break Google docs. But also, I've already broken Google docs because BSH now spans 3 docs since the first two broke :D We have surprised To You in word count a WHILE AGO too.
Technically, there are two editors (one is there to edit, the other is there for help me scheme up ideas sometimes against the first editor). You maybe shouldn't envy them đđđ every time I say "I have an idea" to them it turns into "Tristen, what does that mean??? WHO ARE YOU HURTING???" It's my favorite part or the day đ€đ€
The story is a bit further than what is posted on AO3. (44 chapters rn in total) so we are dealing with Mouse still and the dynamics~ I have so much planned still so I'm :D always writing. I'm getting close to finishing the second notebook I'm writing by hand.
But remember...
Nothing bad every happens in Blood Stained Hands /hj
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Oh god, the fact that I have actually read this chapter already, I cannot bring myself to read againâTHIS was that much great detailing and writing, usually I have seen many downplaying it, although it was great but it never gave me that slapping feeling, and BSH is truly has the raw(est) purest emotions, which still has me hooked on to since months.
[ PSA : I am not downplaying any writers work, all of them are amazing in their own ways as they dedicate their time and everything into writingâI am heavily implying about the new fresh writing style that wooahaeruby has in their chapters, which is something that I havenât seen here in the writing community. Letâs live in love and peace yall đ PLEASEEEE ]
â đ
đđđđ I love the chaos you bring to my asks so much.
NOTHING BAD EVER HAPPENS IN BSH
#seventeen#svt#seventeen fic#seventeen x reader#svt x reader#seventeen mafia au#mafia au#wooahaeruby stuff
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This is the moment when one realises that they are truly emotionally attached to BSH..
Note : people who havenât read the recent chapter 40, scroll away, on god I donât think I could do this sober so there will be a lot of spoilers,. ( no, I am not what you are thinking, that was just an expression but I am not playing today )
First thing, thank god for listening to my thoughts ( as if it was not bound to happen sooner or later ) a part of me wished that they should have found them as well, but then again itâs a bit early for that and except all of them are not in their right mindset either.
Fuck, I really ended up crying for a while once I had completed the chapter and now its like, I feel like I am swimming somewhere in void like I am on fire and drowning at the same time. I hope mouse is okay, and I hope she gets all the help that she needs, I really canât imagine how much trauma would she be in once she wakes up and gets to know, but fuck, she even missed his birthday. I know you said no one dies in bsh, but take this as a pinch of salt, I really hope and wish they die. All of them. That same excruciating way, the same torment where they would be begging for mercy or begging to just shot them to end their misery, no they deserve a very slowest one.
I am kind of fuming but at the same time I feel so melancholic, and my entire being feels serene as well. This was perfect honestly, had me crawling crying shit, but yeah, I thought my heart would stop dropping at every plot twist, I swear, like you know, I am trying to not give out too much spoilers despite the fact I did said that scroll away for those who havenât read, but when wonwoo, yeosang and siyeon computer went down, I thought it went down because they wanted to move her to somewhere, donât know what was I expecting but when it came, I really felt so helpless like, for a second it was nothing but I felt like am also a part of this story and mouse is someone I know and adore a lot, I really want her to be in peace, to be happy, to get over from her traumatic past. The next chapter of healing will truly be excruciating for her, and I know from that moment someone will be always stay with her every second. I hope she gets well, and goes back with training when the time seems deemed for her to be back in there. Oh god, no matter how much I try not to think about it, I really hope they do experience this.
Thank you for taking the time to write, and edit. It mustâve have been a stressful week since juggling between personal commitments, work and this but you are doing really well, I hope you would always remember that. Editors, brother, how did you survive this chapter? I feel like I didnÊŒt survive or like I am somewhere in between of living and feeling numb as dead. But thank you for also editing this chapter as well, I hope both of you are doing well while I excruciatingly wait for the next chapter.
I feel like somehow along this, wonwoo would have been the most, how do I say this, taken aback. I might be wrong here, but over the chapters I have began to notice is that he is beginning to look after her as if he is her sister, yk? the protective ones, I felt like this because I do have a brother, we are not exactly blood related but fuck, I would do anything for him but he does more for me and I feel bad for having him constantly look after me, but he always said that and I quote âthatâs what I am here forâ I feel like wonwoo has become that one, I know all the svt members are close, but I canât help but to think about these two, it always reminds me and comforts me as well.
On god, there might be a lot of spelling and grammatical errors here, please overlook it, I really just woke up and read the chapter since I truly am the most impatient person ever. I had been waiting and kept refreshing the site, and read the old chapters as well to not dwell too much, but these two chapters were truly insane and most needed for plot thickening, like this is what we are here for.
I hope you would take care of yourself, and good luck with your interview. I hope you would get it, I pray that all the good and great things happen to you, and you are blessed forever. Take your time when it comes to posting, the time makes the heart fonder, I can always wait painfully like a lover waiting for her lover to come back type of scenario.
â đ
I'm gonna answer all the asks here as always when you multiple post. lol
Ohhh trust me, Moon, I have so many plans and so many things to do, I just need to get there for a certain mean group. Something will happen, I'm working on it lmao.
i will say that next chapter isn't...the best (no one gets hurt, just a lot, it's heavy in my eyes) but it has a lot of context within that makes you understand what is happening.
So, just for context about me and how I write, I give all my 'readers' a personality, right? When I write, I never think of them as me, I think of them as their own being and I see them more like a friend, as you stated. You have no idea how much my editor has lost them mind like "That isn't me, THAT IS MY GIRL MOUSE!" You also Kinda see this with my other story To You. Ruby was never intended to be me / reader, they are their own person.
After next chapter (so 42) you will start to see more of the dynamic of how she is going to be coping, handling things, etc.
As for my editor, they said this
As for WW and Mouse, I did intentionally write them to have a close relationship like siblings. I don't remember which chapter is it, but I do many a reference to their friendship being like a brother and sister. Many of them are like that with her, however, you see it a bit more with WW.
Maybe during my next update I'll be able to say if I have my new job haha. We will see! Glad you continue to enjoy it.

There might be~ I dunno, What I have is going to be a lot of trying to respect boundaries that Mouse will have, how they move forward, and Mouse being honest with some things. I do have plans where some conflict will arise, but I don't intend for things to turn bad.
You are right, Mouse doesn't want to be dependent, and who knows, maybe a certain group leader might even have his shot with Mouse. Who knows~

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
hahahahahahahahahahahaahha
See you next time~
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ITâS THE D-DAY WOOOOHOOOOOOOOO I should not be too much excited about it, but I just wanted to ask something before I read, when will the next chapter comes out?
Do not rush, because time is so good thing, and you know they say distant makes the heart fonder or whatever the quote is because I donât exactly remember right now, but I learnt it in a very hard way last time how I went insane, I truly am not your strongest soldier, idk how your editors go through this.
I am about to go to sleep, so I hope you are having a great day ahead~!
A message for your editors, my dear people, I will pay for your therapy, I have a huge respect for you. Thank you for taking your time out and also giving feedback that truly would explain my turmoil in the upcoming chapters as well. You are the best.
and you, my favourite author, I have a love hate ( and a huge amount of respect ) emotions for you. Thank you for writing BSH, and I will hang on to your word like an obsessive ex ( nothing bad ever happens in bsh )
â đ
I actually posted it today :D hahahaha.
I put all the notes at the end of give or take when BSH's next chapter will come out so forgive me for another long break in between chapters.
I think the only way my editor gets through it is because we send jokes back and forth (included tik toks and tweets) of "oh look, it's [so and so] in BSH"
We cope healthily I swear.
Please let me know what you think of the chapter when you do read it :D I'm so so so so so so so so so so so so sorry.
I love interacting with people reading my work, it brings me joy that someone enjoys my writing. I'm happy that my pass time and evoke such a reaction and you can't stop reading đ©·đ©”
As always, nothing bad ever happens in Blood Stained Hands. â€ïžđ€â€ïž
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