#now its 1:30 pm and i wanna nap

[isefyres-archive]

i woke up so early and now i want to nap.

[caregiverlad]

need helps :( this entire week i was so busy and tiireeedddd from skl, is saturday an i can relax, but all ive done is change clothes, brush my teeth and hair and eat breakfast, besides that, ive been sitting up in bed for like forever and now its 1:30 pm. :( i hav violin class at 4 pm, an am also dreading tomorrow cuz i have swim practice and then its monday, i wanna do stuff but.. but all i can do is sit in bed and overthink ugh :( pls help need advices or.. or like a routine or something.. dont normally ask for help like this but i dont feel like i can talk to anyone else abt it :(

-🐶

i’m super late to this, so i doubt i can be much help but i’ll try. whenever i have downtime i like to find an activity to do. maybe playing a mobile game, or taking a nap, or color. then after your final activity of the day, do any priority homework if you need to. then spend the rest of the day relaxing! all snuggled up with your stuffies.

[ushiwakaout]

I-bRO your what the Haikyuu bois would say is so awesome! Could I request that but for Kuroo? I'm literally such a simp for the roosterhead! Thanks so much ♡

Thank you 🥺 that means a lot.

i love kuroo 😖 i hate fannon kuroo ngl, so many people think he’s a sex god (well even cannon kuroo is probably a sex god once he figures out how to work his willy but u know) and he’s honestly just a dumb chem nerd.

Let us just say that you work for him as a personal assisten 

Warnings: HAIYUUU TIMESKIP

“Hey, honey... Breakfast is ready.” (5:00 am)

“No dont worry, i didnt make it... You know I cant cook to save my life.”

“I just went down the street to buy you a coffee and some sweet bread.”

“You always wake up earlier than I do to get me something, so i just thought to repay you back...”

“Why do you always think there is a catch?”

“Fine, you caught me... I need you to help me make an itinerarie for our upcoming not-so-vacation, vacation.”

“I would have told you yesterday but we where, busy~”

“Ow! Do not hit me, I’m your boss.”

You: “More the reason!”

“More the reason my ass, hurry up and get ready, we gotta get to the office.”

“Oh yeah, we also have meetings all day today so wear something comfortable.”

“You ready to go?” (6:30 am)

“Give me a little twirl baby.”

*will slap you ass when you pass him to leave your home*

*he is def laughing past you and you’re like alright bet*

you: “Hey baby come here, give me a kiss”

“Oh now you wanna give me a kiss, you gotta reach for it, honey ~ ”

*you pull on his tie so he’s at level for a kiss but you only give him a peck before giving his ass a good smack and running to the passanger side of his car*

“Hey! Get back here, I want a decent kiss!”

“Who tought you how to smack so hard?”

“Me? I would never~”

“Come on give me a good kiss.”

“I’m gonna park the car, you go ahead and get a head start without me.”(7:30 am)

you: “What took you so long?”

“What do you mean what took me so long, I was getting you flowers”  

*gives you the bouque of flowers and kiss on the cheek*

“Duh honey~”

“Stop blushing and lets get to work.” (8:00 am)

“Have you seen my pen?”

“Can you go get me some water?”

“Come on give me a kiss before we get to the next meeting.”

“Hey, just because their an assistant doesn’t mean you get to boss them around like that.”

“Says who? You ’re fucking boss and her husband you dibshit- get out my office and I want you to apologize, but don’t you dare look in their eyes because a low life like you doesn’t deserve to.” 

“Oh and ask her to come back in, will you?”

“Hey honey, is it lunch yet?”

you: “You did not have to be so rude...”

“Didn’t have to be rude, my ass. No one gets to talk down to you like that- not even me... Well, I do... But only if you want me too~”

*he do be leaning in for a kiss but you shove your hand onto his face*

you: “Whatchu want for lunch Testu and do not say me because I will quit.” 

“Awe.. Honey you’re no fun...”

HE HAS ONE HUNDRESS PERCENT EATEN YOU KNOW OUT IN HIS OFFICE, HES MADE YOU CUM DURRING MEETINGS AND HAS MADE YOU SIT ON HIS COCK WHILE ON CONVERENCE CALLS AGHHHHH

“Just order me something and get it to go because we don’t have time to go out right now, I’ll make it up to you next time tho.”

“It’s just Y/n with my lunch. Let them in will ya?” (1:00 pm)

“Hey, honey...*whispers* book me an appointment with my chiro will ya? My back is definetly gonna need it... Do it for friday night since we have the weekend off.”

“You’re dismissed.”

*will pat you your thigh before you walk out the door*

*is a very firm believer of not teasing you around co-workers. no pda around the office unless it’s his and the blinds are shut and the door is locked*

“Honey~ let me take a nap on your lap.I’ve got thirty minutes and I’m tired.” (2:30 pm)

“Hey- We have a dinner meeting so I need you to go home, freshen up and get me a new suit- I’ll get ready in the gym bathrooms, I’ll be fine.”

“Let me know when you’re on the way so I can just take a quick wash- hold on give me a kiss before you go.” (3:20 pm)

“You’re on the way back? Pick me up some iced coffee, yeah?”

“You here? Hold on let me put on a towel.” (6:00 pm)

“What you lookin’ at?”

“Oh? Sorry- I’ll cover up~”

“You look real sexy by the way... Give me a kiss.”

“Mmm, if I keep kissing you, were gonna have to head home right now baby~”

you: “Tetsuro, this meeting is literraly about keeping your company and making it a bigger establishment... We are not gonna drop it to go fuck.”

“But honey~”

*smaking the back of his head*

you: “I will leave you high and dry next time you try it.”

*Kuroo def becomes a little pouty after you say that*

*while at dinner a conversation about you breaks through while youre in the restroom*

“So, you’re married to your assistant... How’s that like?” The man in front of him asked, with his own wife absent at the moment. “Oh, um... They’re really great- Y/n a great partner and theirs nothing more I could ask for.” He man scoffs before taking a drink, “Did they work for you before you got marries?” Kuroo nods, “I met them a fem years ago during a one on one interview, they have been working with me ever since.” The executive nodded, clearing his throat. “They a good fuck?” He asked, shocking Kuroo. “Excuse me?” He asked, making sure he didn’t hear him incorrectly. “I asked, are they a good fuck. Someone like that seems too good for our work, bet their probably a sleazy bitch who-” Kuroo go up from his seat a reached over to grab the mans collar. “Speak of my spouse with that manner ever again and i wont hesitate to ruin your life. You know what they learned about you before we got here. They found out that you’re having an affair- and they just happen to be pregnant... Seems to me that your hush money wasn’t enough. How about we tell your wife and kids that you just happened to start a new, hidden, life without them.” Little to Kuroos knowledge you where a few steps behind the table and happen to hear everything your husband had just threatened to spill. “Tetsuro...” You mumbled, setting your hand on his shoulder. “Sit down...” You looked back at the executive and smiled sadisticly, “You heard my husband... Finding about your second life wasn’t so hard.. Maybe I could send it to your wife in a matter of seconds if you don’t get up from this table, agree to our side of the contract and then leave. We’d like to enjoy our dinner in peace.”

“How much did you hear?”

“Right... Let’s just forget this ever happened and enjoy the dinner we deserve.”

“That was so, so, delicious” (8:00 pm)

“Did you enjoy your dinner?”

“Good, let’s get a bottle to go, yeah?”

“Home, sweet fucking home.”

“Come here, we’ll open the bottle later.”

*ya’ll accidentally fall asleep on the couch bc you guys work so hard together... its a cute sight*

Extra:

you: “Kuroo wake up, someones trying to get in.”

“No one is trying to break in.”

Kenma: “No she’s right I was trying to break in... I forgot my switch charger here and I need it.”

More of Husband Kuroo: here

[mypimpademia]

Bakugo, Todoroki, and Shinso quarantining w black s/o

Bakugo x Todoroki x black!reader x Shinso

TW: Swearing, refers to sexual activities at the end of each of them

Note: Yes, I did do most of this stuff in quarantine. [And they're aged up as always]

BAKUGO

He honestly feels like he's losing his shit

And he probably would if he did have you with him

You guys are staying up all night and watching Wild n Out, Basic to Bougie, 90 Day Fiance, all that shit

And of course Bad Girls Club

He claims he hates 90 Day Fiance and BGC, but he stays watching that shit, even if he has the remote or youre on his phone

His sleep schedule is fucked up

And by fucked up, I mean its a few hours past the old man's bed time

He goes to bed at 1 am now instead of 9 pm

But still wakes up at 9 am

He took a leave on hero work because of covid

He loves his job almost as much as he loves you (aw💖)

But hes not gonna risk his health for it

"Fuck all that bullshit, as much as I love my job, I'm staying my ass in this house. And you are too. I'll be damned if you catch it, especially if its from me."

Yall only go out once a week

He could minimize it to once every other week, but he tried that and it almost drove him crazy

There aren't any exceptions unless there's an emergency

Makes you wear gloves and use a reusable mask that he washes as soon as yall get home

And you get mostly essentials but he'll ask you if you want candy or anything and he'll buy a big box of brownie mix if you like brownies just to hold you over for a while

Also stocks up on meds like pain killers and allergy pills

No fucks given, he will hit up different stores for toilet paper

"WHY ARE ALL THESE FUCKIN IDIOTS TAKING THE TOILET PAPER?? I KNOW DAMN FUCKIN WELL YALL DONT SHIT THAT MUCH, AND HALF OF YALL PROBABLY DONT EVEN WIPE."

Hes gonna experiment with cooking more now that he has time

Writes down all the recipes that work out

Youre his taste tester so you best believe you bouta be eatin good 😌

If you want your hair done he'll order it online unless yall are already out

Hes gonna make sure that you're eating good and feeling okay because these are tough times 🥺

But hes gonna do it in his own way and act like he's not concerned

"Hey idiot, do you wanna pass out? You haven't been drinking water today, I can tell. I'm getting you a full cup, you better drink it all."

"You haven't eaten anything today, I'm making you dinner."

"Your hair is dry, come here so I can help you put oil on it. I keep telling you to take care of it, ill laught at you if you go bald." He wont

Also has you work out with him do you can stay in shape

Libido?

Yessir

Every other day, anywhere (except in public because hes not about to get sick), at anytime

It goes 50/50

Sometimes its just because hes in the mood

Other times hes feeling really soft and wants to show you that he loves you

All in all its a mixture of Bakugo losing his shit and loving you all in one

TODOROKI

He's pretty chill about it

Just super bored

Starts watching BGC, binges Basic to Bougie and 90 Day Fiance

Oddly enough he really enjoys watching Love & Hip Hop????

He finds it interesting

Especially likes Cardis season because its funny and hella memes came out of it

Don't get me wrong tho I aint a Cardi stan but you gotta admit that she's mad funny im a barb at heart tho

His crackhead really comes out over quarantine

He'll start referencing random ass memes

Hes mostly on leave for hero work unless they really need him

In that case he wears a mask and gloves out

When he gets home the first thing he does is reference BGC

"WHATS UP BAD BITCHES"

And thats how you know he's home

Goes to bed at like 1:30 - 2 am

Only because he doesn't want to be passed out if he's needed for hero duties

Goes out every other week

Mainly for basic essentials, but if you want a little extra he'll buy it

Anything else he'll buy online

Also goes to other stores to buy more toilet paper

Figured out that hes really good at crochets

So if you want your hair done he'll order any crochets you want off Amazon and do them for you

Takes care of you and makes sure your doing well all together

"Did you eat today baby?"

"How much water have you had today?"

"Have you been putting oil on your hair?"

Lotsss of cold soba

But he cooks a few other things so that its not the same thing 24/7

Asks Fuyumi for help when he doesn't know how to cook something super well

If you're the type to go to bed hella late, he'll make sure you sleep a full 8 hours

Even if you wake up after 5 he'll ask you to take a nap with him

Has you work out with him every now and then so you can both stay healthy

Not too much libido

He didn't get in the mood like that even before quarantine

Its not every other day like Bakugo though

More like twice a week

Anymore than that and it'll probably be because you needed it rather than him

If its after a mission it'll be slower just so he can show you how much he loves and appreciates you for being someone he can come home to and just being you

If its more spontaneous he'll be slightly rough but still a pretty slow

But it's a lot of crackhead Todoroki and soft Todoroki

SHINSO

He's doing fine

Just more bored than usual

I feel like Shinso likes cartoons so hes rewatching a bunch of childhood cartoons

Steven Universe, Adventure Time, Regular Show, all that good shit

Lotsss of cartoon quotes

Yall are having a pillow fight and he grabs 2 pillows and claps you?

"Cheatin ass bitch."

"Street rules, man." (Regular Show quote for those who don't know)

Please sing the bacon pancake song (Adventure Time) with him while yall make breakfast

He'll be so happy

If you do something stupid hes gonna do a lemon grab (Adventure time) quote

"UNACCEPTABLE"

On leave for hero work

Really doesn't care about getting himself sick unless he gets super sick or dies

But hes not about to get you sick

He'd genuinely rather get himself sick and die than get you sick

Yall go out twice a week

Once to get essentials and another just to get out

I feel like shinso is a decent cook so he'll cook for you

Write down recipes that you like

Also gets some off the internet

Works better with natural hair than braids and crochets

So he'll do slick backs for you and maybe give you a ponytail or something if you ask but he'd rather do 100% natural just because hes better at it and he likes natural black hair

Can also do half wigs

Takes care of you more than himself

So you have to take care of each other

"Did you drink water today, Doll?"

"I did, did you?"

"Did you eat today?"

"No, and you haven't either. What should we eat for lunch?"

"You havent been putting oil on you hair. Do you want me to help you, kitty?"

Small work out sessions

Maybe like 15 min a day

Full body tho because hes too lazy to split up days

Does to bed at like 4 - 6 am

Mostly just watching YouTube and binging cartoons and eating

Insomnia Cookies? (If you dont know, its a cookie place that delivers till 3 am and theyre so good-)

YESSIRRR

Yall gain back any weight you burned off from exercising earlier that day

Pizza, cookies, chicken nuggets, fries, fried chicken, etc.

Basically just a constant sleep over

Libido to the max

Once or twice a day

Nothing public because germs

Normally rough

But every now and then he'll get soft and just tell you how much he loves you and appreciates you

His aftercare for times like that consists of a bubble bath, lots of hugs, food and cartoons😌

[lonelycrypt]

Putting this here because I don't want to worry people anymore

Day 1 - Test 1 - 8:56 AM : Today I feel alright, a little tired, I could take a nap if I wanted to. I have gotten up at 7:50 to start my classes, today I am going to drink 2 cups of coffee, I will update if anything changes or if I drink anything else - 9:53 AM : Cait being an utter dumbass has woken me up greatly, although I still feel drained - 11:33 AM : 3rd cup of coffee, and now im eating an egg sandwich - 3:44 PM : 4th cup of coffee has been made, currently drinking - 4:39 PM : 5th cup of coffee is being made -  8:53 PM : I have took a shower and I feel tired and ready for bed.  Day 2 - Test 1 - 7:25 AM : I woke up at 6:40 AM to let the cats out and give our hairless cat a bath. they haven't been up in a while so its good they finally get to. Getting my hands nice n dirty was a great way to wake me up! The first cup of coffee has been made. the day begins  - 10:02 AM : I made an egg sandwich with a side of 18 cold pepperoni slices, woke me up, ready to focus - 11:32 AM : I AM VERY TIRED NOW, AND ANGRY BUT IN A GAY WAY??? - 11:54 AM : 2nd cup of coffee - 3:14 PM : 3rd cup of coffee, it tastes like shit - 8:06 PM : I am drinking a cup of green tea mixed with a cup of macha tea, the caffine level in both combined is 100mg, one cup of coffee has 97 mg of caffeine. It is the equivalent of drinking another cup of coffee. I can feel the lack of sleep starting to kick in. - 9:22 PM : I am used to just sleeping when I'm bored, this isn't very fun :( but still, its for science, so I will continue - 9:30 PM : Gonna do the electric slide for an hour because I wanna be awake and I will NOT let myself yawn. I will update when I return - 2:26 AM : I feel like I'm dying - 2:26 AM : Chest is sore and hurts and my back hurts and im going to have a menntal breakdown   - 2:42 AM : i think im feeling physical hallucinations meaning "someone is behind me and they want to kill me. Don't move." sleep deprivation cause intense paranoia and panic feelings - 5:34 AM : I have learned that my rib pain is probably a ton of pulled muscles - 6:13 AM : this study might now last more then 7 days. 

[exoczn]

DOWN IN DUST

1 || 2 || 3

PAIRINGS:  READER X SEHUN, READER X YIXING

GENRE:  DRAMA AND ANGST  (YIXING BFF, HUSBAND SEHUN AU)

————————————————————————————————————————————————————

You were tired of waking up everyday just to see how your marriage with your husband Sehun, the man you love the most is falling apart and everyday the strings getting weaker and weaker. Everyday facing the same kind of silence was exhausting. In the mornings he would just talk to you as much as necessary, this all got to a point where even the small talks were starting to turn into awkward talks for both of you. He’d come home late and by that time you’d probably fall asleep. Looked like he was trying to avoid you. And now you’re just thinking how did this happen? How did YOU let this happen?

This makes you think about how it all was initially when you both got married and how you both met each other-

5 Years Ago

It was 7 pm and you were still not fully awake from one of the best naps ever. You were laying on your bed eyes half open trying to peep out of the window and figure what time it is, winter was going on so it was pretty dark outside from the window. You guessed it was around 7 to 9 pm, thats when you hear someone entering your apartment that someone was probably your best friend Yixing, he had a spare key to your apartment. He was trying to search for you and entered the room where you were still on the bed not wanting to get up.

“Y/N!!!!!! Y/N GET UPPPPPP GET UP GET UP GET UP”

You groan in annoyance, “WHAT IS IT YIXING?!?”

“You are coming with me at a Party”

“What party Yixing?? Please let me have my peace right now.”

“There will be good food and a lot of it, plus you won’t have to make something for yourself today.” He shrugs. “Please Y/N Please just this once, I don’t wanna get bored alone with those stupid people and their dumb business talks, I’ll literally die if you don’t come with me please just this once and I promise you to treat you wherever you want on next Sunday. PLEASE”

You were trying to process all the things he just said and think through your options. “Okay fine but don’t forget about the Sunday thing okay?”

“Yeah I promise but listen you have 8 minutes to get ready we’re already very late”, “we were supposed to reach till 7:30”

“Wait what? Are you kidding me?”

“The clock is ticking f a s t !!!!”

You walk in your closet trying to find something to wear that will match the pARtY situation and pick a minimal outfit nothing too much, just an olive green ribbed, cropped shirt with long sleeve and a bit of deep neck and a black pair of jeans because well he said party. You go change in it and wear your hoop earrings and hear Yixing shouting continuously and the he finally comes in the room and pulls you out and you somehow mange to grab your heels wear it in the elevator. Yixing and you were discussing random stuff when it striked you that he mentioned that everyone would be talking about business and it wasn’t a normal party and you weren’t dressed for that kind of event and you tell him to take a U turn so you can change but he keeps on telling you it that it doesn’t matter and its fine and you look good and pretty and its decent enough

After a lot of fighting and reassurance from your best friend both of you finally reach the place where the pArTY is supposed to be —

Yixing and you were just chatting in a corner when you see a man walking towards both of you wearing a white Dress shirt  and a pair of black trouser and you suddenly start feeling very insecure about what you’re wearing and how you’ve barely managed to have anything on your face. Damn he was hot and sooooo tall, shit you realised you were now staring at him and the he stops where Yixing and you are standing. He gives you a warm smile and turns towards Yixing greeting him. You admire him while he talks to Yixing and you notice his intimidating eyes and the way his hair were parted at the side and his pretty pretty brows till then Yixing snaps you back into the present and introduces you to him, “Sehun, this is Y/N my best friend since literally high school” “Y/N this is Sehun, the new hot guy in the office I told you about”

[shytiff]

Small Dec Wins

i cant believe its December already tf?!?!?!

1 - poli KIA today. saw a mother who cant feel the movement of their baby. the senior midwife tried to find the baby’s heart beat but not finding it. she said she hopes she were wrong. fell asleep at 3pm-ish, woke up super hungry. ate. i swear i feel like my weight when i measured it this morning was ~52, but after eating its close to 54 lol. eating banana and chocolate nextar is yummm. dalbang today is hella funny as always and suuper endearing. fell asleep after dalbang, didnt study hufttt

2 - today im at igd but joined azkia at vk for a bit to see partus. its not that im scared (maybe not consciously) but when the mom was being stitched i felt lightheaded, nausea, cold extremities, and i even had to squat multiple times because i couldnt stand. But i felt better after the partus so maybe seeing it was the cause. I did not feel scared at all honestly ._. and i’ve seen multiple partus before. i dont know why. i can literally feel my symphatetic tone giving out lmaoo. tried matcha latte with Cy matcha powder. it tasted more milky and grassy. mom thought it tasted like nori. i prever cocodeli alll the way (although Cy is cheaper). i think it also has a bit of caffeine that made me feel awake like a normal person should be. 

3 - today is vk but there’s no patient so thank god i saw sumn yesterday. did some cicil ukmppd in the morning accompanied by matcha latte. tried to order dufan tickets and i couldnt find my damn ktp...... fell asleep after worrying about said ktp

4 - matcha latte in the car, swab at lmk, went to dufan by tj with willy, had quite some funn with atikah nila willy amel pupuy. first time trying kereta misteri, quite fun. it rained after ashar so we didnt ride anything after that. turns out my ktp was at barel’s fotocopy lmaoo thankyou ara for picking it. went to solaria ancol afterwards, picked up by mom. i didnt tell her in the morning that i was going to dufan lmao. plenary @ zoom 19 pm. rapat nemo. fell asleep.

5 - went to lmk by tj to surprise clara. went back home and fell asleep. didnt rly do anything afterwards because this ragged body gets tired easily and i dont eat much recently. i can feel the difference before and after eating and there’s actual energy after eating. its not that im hungry though, but i feel less energized. felt annoyed terrible and just wanna lay in bed (this is unrelated with the less food in my system). even though i met up with friends

6 - after LOTS of sleeping i feel somehow better but not to a ‘normal’ amount. watched kimbab family videos. did power vinyasa by doogether with fianti. took a shower and ate indomie and i felt quite normal, except i slept again wtf. i thought i would have the second half of the day but nah. did self tryouts with fianti, 150 FDI questions. I got 96/150 right. huft. such a great reality check

7 - poli lansia with dokter isip, matcha latte in the afternoon rly helps me not sleeping the day away, packed up for depok

8 - poli umum with dr gita (helped doing phys exam), packed the rest of my stuff, ate some risol and matcha lattteee in the car, took swab results, picked up hazmats etc, zoom discussion with FT PKM Kalideres (dr gita) on the way, and i finally arrived at tamel. dinner is granola with vsoy. Taste like a slightly wet granola bar, nutty fiber-y vibe

9 - walked in ui with ara, managed to jog from the trees near st ui until kuburan bikun wow. i reached that point where my leg and heart were going in a steady unburdened pace and my willpower to keep going on was tested. tried the signature steak in Double U Steak by Chef Widi, while ara tried ribeye. the ribeye was more tender than the signature. but the seasoning in the signature is quite delish, salty and oily without being too much (like futago ya). read poppyland fast pass from ara’s phone omg season 1 is finally complete! went to coftof (omgggg i miss this place), it looks different now. ordered matcha latte and it tasted weirdly like a soy milk although ara doesnt feel that way. the matcha tasted weird. wont repurchase. read chainsaw man, its so entertaining, funny and deep at the same time. denji mess around and be too naive sometimes but hes lowkey hot lmaooo. aki is lovvvvve.

10 - first day at rsud budhi asih. had moesli combined with granola + vsoy for brekkie. went back to tamel at 3 pm. it rained when i got back. bought warteg lugina worth 32k. walked to sbux for tumbler day its been a while since i had their matcha latte. it tasted quite good, but not as good as i remembered (?) maybe bcs i asked for non fat milk. sbux closes at 8 pm for now hikss

11 - left tamel at about 7:10 and arrived on budhi asih at 08:54 yalll the traffic. Icu. Bought eatlah double and ate the salted egg part. Nap. ICU discussion with dr Dedi @8pm. I presented from my phone to save data hehe,,

12 - woke up at 8, eatlah brown butter for brekkie, symcard, saladstop's caesar salad for lunch (quite 'eneg' because i didnt eat the cheese evenly so the chicken and cheese were eaten last after the vegs are out. The vegetable's not that variative, and the non vegs make the salad taste delicious (albeit maybe not THAT healthy). Evening jog @UI and i realized i can get wifi sitting near the lake n library. Stared at the night sky from my room, i swear the sky seems super clear. Saw tiny fireworks in the distance

13 - ate muesli and saladstop’s banana walnut cake, symcard, bought moon chicken and saladpoint. lunch was egg salad and the wings. the original tasted so good like??? maybe i havent had msg for a while. also tried big bang, not too spicy which is nice. cicil ukmppd. put my laundry at buih barel lmaoo. try out with fianti. got 70/100

14 - breakfast was salad and leftover chicken. today was bangsal with angga armand. the geriatric patient has a loud murmur yall (and scoliosis, so much that the heart looks distorted). went to margo city to see sales, but when i think about it id rather just thrift stuff lmao. bought lugina. slept through kuliah guru besar. writing this in yellow truck coffee, that had 2 customers on the 1st floor including me. tried banana milk. yall after trying to drink less sugar the beverage tasted super sweet. my headache just goes away. sugar is magic but unhealthy whyyyyy.

15 - igd siang with indah. This body sure is frail. Did cbd with dr afifah AND rescheduled pleno. Rip mobile data i have to use for hotspot.

16 - ok today. Inserted goedel and did bagging. I bagged the patient the wrong way at first (too much). Thankfully the nurses were kind and taught us a lot :) watched some bts content. I feel like after reading househusband my tiktok page is now immensely funnier. Dalbang is also hilarious as always. Put on ginseng sheet mask (smells quite strong)

17 - bangsal. snacked on fried chicken. matcha latte starbucks (turns out its quite full here) and liqo about keeping our tongues in check

18 - arrived at icu. And then opened line. Turns out hadin's swab is positive, so agung kak iman and me have to isolate and swab. So i went back. Ordered kanayam chicken and fish and tempe. Nasi liwet tasted goood damn. Sleptt in the afternoon. Pleno at 4 pm (entered the room 4:30). Had no motivation to do anything. Azkia is getting married! Spent 20 mins formulating words to congratulate her lmaoo

19 - osce simulation, kak nanu was so kind and encouraging. Did try out solid. Lunch is fish bite pasta with melted cheese (cause i had to reach the minimum amount for promo). It got cold so its not that good (pairing it with self made mentai sauce, mixing the mayo and chili, is way much better). Jogged in ui (and searched for wifi). Approached by someone selling haraus coffee (25k), saying that some earnings will be for charity. Its basically sweet. Can barely taste the coffee.

20 - had kanayam for lunch (brekkie is almost always muesli lately). The nasi liwet tasted much better the first time. Walked to yellow truck coffee in the pouring rain. Got banana milk. Saw webinar ksk (electrolyte correction and dr nadhira talkshow). What i got from it is that, dr nadhira is a different person from the first place. Shes visionary, knows what she want and not afraid to reach it. The mindset is different. Even if i try as hard as her, her propensity to growth is different. Cicil ukmppd. Try out with fianti (got 72/100). Talked for an hour about love and marriage and engagements (there are so much of it lately)

21 - leftover kanayam for brekkie, also ate roti salman in cikini st. swab today (met kris, nessa and others). muesli for lunch. i thought my body felt a bit warm, so i decided to find sumn to eat. tried kedai abu bakar’s spaghetti brulee. its okay. maybe because its not too cheesy or meaty, mainly bechamel sauce. the one pupuy made is much tastier. finished the whole 10x20 portion in 2 eating sesh. cicil ukmppd @ bed in the evening (somehow felt refreshed enough to be able to concentrate in bed)

22 - went early to icu to put dops form. lugina for early lunch. i feel like my metabolism is faster? or my body is not so much in calorie deficit mode anymore and it got greedier lmao i used to just ignore hunger but not now, for health. starbiiies tumbler day. ordered black tea latte with non fat milk and vanilla syrup (because raspberry syrup is no more). did cbd geri ppt. 

23 - finally knew the swab result bcs kak iman asked kak farras. thankfully negative. igd with jordi. quite a few chances to do iv line, but i failed 2 times. managed to do iv injection to insert 2 drugs. saw the worst cpr ive ever seen in my life. its too slow, with maximal interruption. fish bite for lunch. wasted the rest of my day

24 - originally intended to run but i cant bring myself out of bed. packed up my stuff. picked up by mom. got the paper result of swab, got ksk from kelvyn @ capitol. can finally drink self-made matcha latte again, but it tasted horrible. i know cy matcha doesnt have that much going on, but even this is low even for them. previously i was starting to get used to the grassy smell.

25 - my lil bro remarked “maybe shes depressed because she doesnt have her chair”. fuck yall. this “depression” that im in is caused by this very place and the people. and im supposed to still muster the strength to study for ukmppd AND get my face together for solid book photoshoot. that shit is too much. this is why the money that goes to cafe, and the bike ride there is worth it for my sanity. after showering, things felt a bit better. had absolutely no will to study today. ate muesli with a bit of matcha latte.

26 - muesli for breakfast. matcha latte is lyfff ive probably said this before but it ~somehow~ makes me feel normal and not in a slump. like im a regular person. with normal moods. and not wanting to sleep all the time. i try to do ukmppd exercises but the pace is so fucking slow, bcs im distracted by get rich haha,,,. the latest potn update (64) is omgggg the mixed feelings? love? hate? anger? everything and nothing? the ~tension and passion~? im obsessed. watched a ton of bts content today and yesterday lmao.

27 - nasi kebuli for brekkie. went to flavola, im the first customer lmao. tried kopi susu coklat, tasted quite close enough to janjiw’s kopi soklat. had the same ~improved mood and concentration~ effect. tried to read ksk. bought milky banana 1L from puyo to give dajen (its his bday yesterday) (i feel prompted (?) to gift people when theyve given a present to me) (because my love lang is not gift giving at all so i barely think abt gifts lmao). talked with sum 33 ipa guys @ dajens house. yay appropriate amount of social battery charging. tryout with fianti, padi this time. got 67/100. 

28 - ate muesli with matcha latte after breakfast. cicil ukmppd. Listened to yoongi's vlive until i fell asleep lol. 2 burger and salad for dinner. omggg hansol revealed his gf. 

29 - spent half of my day tidying up the mess that is my room. figured out what to wear for solid book photoshoot with fianti, ara. matcha latte terosss. phd for dinner. 

30 - breakfast is muesli with cimory choco hazelnut. mom made matcha chocolate brownies. tryna study. slow pace terosss. read some padi materials. dalbang.

31 - bought vsoy low sugar and multigrain. moved my body a bit to youtube videos. showered. felt better. it also rained (which i love). the pleasant mood only lasted til the evening. did nothing from 7pm even though im not sleepy. cant tell when did i start to sleep

and just like that, 2020 kkeut. its sad to say i dont rly remember much remarkable things this year. other than the trip and memories with minor rotation friends. i just remember wasting my life away in my house. i guess that’s the danger of living a monotone life. sometimes you gotta invest some time to have fun, to have motivation to live on and do things. not doing this makes it difficult to live day by day. and friends. meeting friends, seeing new stuff. that helps me live. 

[shywitchiness]

50 questions with Ele

so @lulloph made these and I saw @orrangie do these for her spirit pal Ash (who is my nemesis btw)

Ash (who is with me visiting): that would mean we are on the same level.

1:what do you think is the worst creation ever made?

Ele: hmmmm corn syrup

Me: ummm what??

Ele: its gross lol

2: whats your favorite genre of music?

Ele: I like poppy songs

3:if you could be any other entity, what would you be?

Ele: i don't know....maybe a nymph or something badass

4: how many times do you think you have seen a beluga whale (in pictures or otherwise)?

Ele: umm they have donuts on their heads

Me: *shows more pictures*

Ele: OMG DID U SEE THAT BABY

5:what is your favorite time of day?

Ele: Im gonna say dawn or right at the beginning of sunset

6: when do you think is the best time to take a nap?

Ele: right after sleeping

Me: lmao okay

7: how flexible are you on a scale from 1-10?

Ele: right now I can barely freakin tie my own shoes.....but normally im around an 8

8: how many fingers do you have?

Ele: .......10....11???? wait let me check

Me: *rolls eyes*

Ele: 10

9:how many fingers do you want?

Ele: lmao 10

10: would you rather get rid of your left arm(/left fin/other left extremity) or like half of all your body hair?

Ele: yikessss i guess my body hair

11:would you rather have a hamster or a guinea pig?

Ele: HAMSTER

12: would you rather eat a rose quartz point or eat a selenite tower?

Ele: if I ate a rose quartz, I would get eternal love, but if I ate a selenite tower, I would be forever cleansed and grounded....I can't pick

13: would you rather have your whole body to be shaved like a barber pole or have to wear crocs on your hands and feet for the rest of your life (cant ever take em off…they grow with u)?

Ele: again with the hair......I don't wanna lose my hair, but I don't want to wear crocs on my hands lol....so I guess hair ughh

14: how many times in a day do you wash your hands?

Ele: I guess every time they get dirty, and I work in the garden a lot and stuff...so ill say a good 11 times?

15: do you prefer rings or necklaces

Ele: oh gosh necklaces I think

16: how many times in ur life have u ever wanted to yodel?

Ele: what is yodeling

Me: *goes to show her a funny video*

Ele: lmao wait u don't have to....thats so funny tho I remember the video *dies of laughter*

17: do you prefer chocolate or fruity candy?

Ele: fruity candy

18: whats your favorite animal?

Ele: A PEGASUS OR A UNICORN

19: if you had to ride an animal for the rest of your life, what animal would it be?

Ele: since ash said me,,,,ill say a motorcycle jkjk my hubby of course

20:are you an alto or soprano?

Ele: a soprano

21: what is your opinion on shopping?

Ele: its tiring but its fun with others

22: how would you feel if everything you ate for the rest of your life was the texture of sand?

Ele: I would die

23: how would you feel if everything you drank for the rest of your life was the texture of oil paint?

Ele: simple..I would die

24: how many times in your life have you tap danced?

Ele: zero times. zilch. nada. never

25:do you prefer the moon or the sun?

Ele: the sun!!!!

26: what is your opinion on water?

Ele: ???ummm its???? water??

27: how disgusting is the pulp in fruit juice on a scale from 1-10? (dont try to lie and say its good….its bad)

Ele: trash get it away...its a 167 on the disgusting scale

28: what is your favorite flavor of chewing gum?

Ele: bubblegum, sour apple, I LOVE

29: how well can you juggle?

Ele: juggling? who is she

30: what are the top 3 instruments you’d like to learn how to play?

Ele: the harp, the lute, and the electric guitar hell yea

31: would you rather be the size of an ant for the rest of your life or the size of a giant every day for two random consecutive hours of the day?

Ele: ill be a giant thank u very much

32:what type of clothing would u get rid of if you could?

Ele: the boring kind ughhh.... maybe checkered vans

Me: !!!!

Ele: im sorry they are so SO ugly

33: what 4 similarities can you think of for an alligator vs a peacock?

Ele: allusive, majestic, will fight u, both can random show up in ur backyard lol....one time we visited somewhere deep in the country and there was a peacock just chillin in a front yard??? like WHAT???

34: what color would you want your tongue to be if you could change it

Ele: purple? or red?

35: whats your opinion on reading?

Ele: its nice and Hen does it a lot so I'm assuming thats what makes him so stupid

Hen: wow screw u too

36: do you prefer the word snuggle or cuddle and why?

Ele: snuggle....omg it just sounds so cute...cuddly to me sounds like something dangerous thats cute lol

37: how many hairs do you think you have on your body?

Ele: ???i don't know I think maybe......100?? lol idk 200??

38: what is cooler? tarot or lenormand?

Ele: i don't know what lenormand is so ill say tarot

39: what is the coolest “mythical” creature?

Ele: obviously me duhhh

40: if you could change your height/size, what would you change it to?

I would make myself taller definitely, maybe a bit heavier? but Im okay with myself now, but I do wish I was taller

41: what is your favorite cartoon?

Ele: lol chowder or gumball

42: what is a place you’d like to visit in the world?

Ele: I would like to visit France or Europe in general....maybe Italy? They just seem to be very romantic in a sense

43: what is your opinion on daylight savings time?

Ele: ITS SO STUPID!!! I get tired so much more often ALSO who thought it was a good idea for it to get dark at 4 pm???

44: would you rather have to climb a tree like a monkey or like a big cat?

Ele:  a big cat

45: how do you feel about man buns?

Ele: hmmm idk....not really my cup of tea but if it makes u happy why not 

46: if you had to eat one bug for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Ele: ewwwwwww but maybe a butterfly lol they are pretty

47: what genre of music is cursed (aside from country)?

Ele: LOL metal and screamo

48: would you rather have to wear one glove for the rest of your life or one sock

Ele: one sock lol no one will see the sock so....but also I walk around barefoot a lot so hmm

49: what color would u want to paint your nails if you had to?

Ele: GREEN FOREST GREEN

50: how much do you love your companion?

Ele: I love her so much I would bite someones head off for her....metaphorically and literally

Me: T^T I cryy

[chaotic-dummy]

Its 1:19 pm. I walked to school in the snow. Downed a bang (which for reference has 300mg of caffeine) nearly cried because my friend was late to school and I thought she was avoiding me because my friends told me they saw her when they in fact, didn't. I cried in algebra because I couldn't get the problems right. The principle, in a very panicked voice, told us to evacuate. So we did. I was hyperventilating by the time I made to my bus, which was loud. So I was shaking and nauseous. We weren't told why we evacuated. But my friend had a theory of gas leak. Someone texted him it was a bomb threat. It was the latter. Then after I was safe at home someone told me there was another threat where they sent the students to get picked up. There wasn't but it scared the shit out of me. And now I wanna nap but I have had too much caffeine so I'm dying.

To be clear the threat was false. The girl who did it probably wanted the day off. Since many were passed we even had school considering the snow, that they 2 hours later sent the elementary home for.

We don't know who it was, but it was wrote on the senior hall girls bathroom wall. And this all stared at 7. We evacuated at 8:30, by the way my algebra teacher, despite us not finishing the 1st block, still gave us homework.

And its still early afternoon.

My Monday ladies and gentleman and nb pals.

What a year this week has been.

[cococrazyfangirl17]

SVT trying to survive without Mingyu - Day #1

S.Coups: Alright, guys! Come down and help me with dinner!

Dino: But, hyung, Mingyu isn't here! How do you expect us to make it without him?

S.Coups: We can try, Dino. We can try. *reading recipe* Now, it says to put 2 cups of flour.

Hoshi: *fills two plastic cups with flowers*

S.Coups: HOSHI WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?

Hoshi: You said 'two cups of flowers', hyung.

S.Coups: FLOUR. I said two cups of FLOUR.

Hoshi: Oh. Well at least it will look pretty, right?

S.Coups:

S.Coups: Whatever, let's just carry on. Next, we have to add one cup of of sugar into the mix.

DK: But, hyung, why would we put Yoongi in the mix?

S.Coups: Why the HELL would I mean the rapper SUGA?! I mean SUGAR, as in the ingredient.

DK: Ohhhhhh. Y'know, that makes a lot more sense. *adds sugar*

S.Coups: Good. Woozi, can you get the butter, please?

Woozi: *turning to The8* The8, can you get the butter, please?

The8: *turning to Jun* Jun, can you get the butter, please?

Jun: *turning to no one* Hey, can you get the--damn it.

Jun: *ends up being the one to get the butter*

S.Coups: Okay, I need two people for this next bit: one to put in the vanilla extract and the other to put in the milk.

Seungkwan & Joshua: We'll do it! *both go into the fridge to get the items*

S.Coups: WAIT WAIT WAIT!!

Joshua: What's wrong?

S.Coups: You're putting in the wrong amount! We need a teaspoon of the vanilla extract and a tablespoon of the milk.

Seungkwan:

Seungkwan: What's the difference?

S.Coups: Ah, these kids--never mind, I'll do it. Give me the spoons.

Seungkwan: No, hyung, we want to help!

S.Coups: BOO SEUNGKWAN, GIVE ME THE BLESSED SPOONS.

Seungkwan *immediately gives him the spoons*

S.Coups: *adds in the vanilla and milk*

S.Coups: Alright, we're doing good so far. Next is the eggs. We need two of those.

Vernon: Don't worry, hyung, I got it! *goes into the fridge and gets two eggs*

Jeonghan: *walks into the kitchen* What's all this commotion about? You guys woke me up from my nap--

*Vernon bumps into Jeonghan, causing the eggs to fall onto the floor and the two to slip on them as a result*

S.Coups: *popping a vein* FOR GOD'S SAKES, WE'RE JUST TRYING TO MAKE SOME GODDAMN CUPCAKES! HOW HARD DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT, HONESTLY!?

Wonwoo: Hyung, do you, maybe, wanna calm down?

S.Coups: *glares at Wonwoo* NO, I DO NOT WANT TO CALM DOWN! I AM TRYING TO MAKE A NICE DINNER FOR YOU ANNOYING KIDS AND YOU'RE MAKING IT SO DIFFICULT FOR ME!!

Wonwoo: But, cupcakes aren't technically a dinner--

S.Coups: DOES IT LOOK LIKE I GIVE A FLYING 4MINUTE ABOUT WHAT UNIVERSALLY QUALIFIES AS A DINNER AND WHAT DOESN'T?

Wonwoo:

Wonwoo: no sir.

S.Coups: EXACTLY. NOW. *crazed smile* We are going to make these cupcakes. We are going to make them the best goddamn cupcakes the world have ever tasted, and we are going to make it so Mingyu knows that we can survive just as well on our own and that we are not dependent on him!

Dino: *whispering to Vernon* Can we tell Mingyu hyung to cancel his filming and come back ASAP? I fear that Coups hyung is going mad.

Vernon: *whispering to Dino* Going mad? Please. He lost it a long time ago.

S.Coups: *turning to the two maknaes* WHAT ARE YOU TWATS TALKING ABOUT?!

Vernon & Dino: Nothing, hyung! Nothing at all!

S.Coups: Good. Now, you'll be pleased to know that I've decided to continue with this on my own. The rest of you, get out.

SVT: *doesn't move*

S.Coups: If none of you move, I will tell ouR PD TO CUT ALL OF YOUR PAYCHECKS.

Dino: But ... but we don't get paid!

S.Coups: GEEEEEET OUUUUUTTTTT

SVT: *hurry out of the kitchen*

*Later*

Joshua: Does anyone know why S.Coups was ... to put it nicely, PMS-ing like crazy today?

Jun: Really? THAT'S putting it nicely?

Joshua: I didn't know how else to summarise it!

Jeonghan: I don't know. He may be freaking out over our first world tour. Or it could just simply be the fact that he's going through man-opause.

Vernon:

Vernon: Did he just say "MAN-opause"?

S.Coups: *waltzing into the practice room* HELLO, BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE!

Hoshi: Hey, hyung, can you not scream in our faces again?

S.Coups: *pinching Hoshi's cheeks* Of course I won't, you beautiful little hamster!

SVT:

Hoshi:

Hoshi: im scared.

Woozi: Okay, something's wrong here. About 30 minutes ago, you were screaming at us for so much as breathing but now you're all hunky-dory like nothing ever happened?

DK: Dude. Who still says "hunky-dory"?

S.Coups: You needn't worry anymore! I've managed to sort out the cupcakes and they should be cooking up a storm right now!

Jun: Really? I mean, you didn't break a bowl or anything?

S.Coups: Nope! Everything's all fine and dandy!

The8: Wow. I'm impressed - we actually managed to cook successfully something without Mingyu basically taking over the entire thing.

S.Coups: I know! Well, you guys didn't really do anything but, y'know, it's the thought that counts.

Seungkwan: Hey, guys. I don't know if it's just my smoking hot good looks, but I smell burning.

DK: Seungkwan, you're probably just-- *sniffs the air* Actually, he's right, I smell it too.

Jeonghan: S.Coups ... how long did you put the cupcakes in for?

S.Coups: 10 minutes, why?

Jeonghan: ... How high did you put the temperature?

S.Coups: ... 230 degrees.

Seungkwan: WHAT? ARE YOU CRAZY?! THAT'S ABOUT THE HIGHEST AN OVEN CAN GET!

S.Coups: I'm sorry! I wanted the cupcakes to cook quickly so we could eat!

The8: Okay, but what sounds better to you? Eating or diEING IN A FIRE?!!

S.Coups: Guys! C'mon, you're overreacting! It's probably not even that big of a deal.

Wonwoo: Yeah? Well tell that to the giant, orange flame making its way to our practice room right about now!

S.Coups: WHAT? *turns and sees the flame* WELL DON'T JUST SIT THERE GAWKING AT ME! RUN!

*the other members scream as they get up and run out of the room, right is the fire takes it over*

*The members are looking at the fire that's currently engulfing what used to be their dorm*

S.Coups:

S.Coups: You know ...

S.Coups: ... we should probably just order take out for the rest of the week.

SVT: Agreed.

S.Coups: *talking on the phone* Hey, Aron? Yeah, it's S.Coups. Yeah, um, have you guys got a few beds to spare? ... Oh, I don't know ... 12 possibly?

[sadrien]

wanna chat? pt.19

on ao3 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19

so this is like...twice as long as a normal chapter. anyway i was in les mis the other week and i sent something and someone thought it was a les mis chapter of wanna chat. and @reyxa​ encouraged it so Here We Are

this chapter continues right off of the last one because i found a note with sick quotes on it. i kept the les mis as light and understandable as possible but just like..let me know if it makes 0 sense. i had to get this out of my system because ive been in a writing funk

(mari = cough cough, nino = space bro, alya = alys, adrien = glen coco)

enjoy? 

3:12 in boo you whore

cough cough: gmoring i cant brethe out of mynose rn Im not goin g ot be in school today :( Bu ti cant sleep anymore because I cnat breath e iim gonna go watch youtube videos

 6:37

space bro: my dude i hope youre feeling better when you wake up

6:43

glen coco: If you’re not turn on the shower really hot and sit in the bathroom with the steam

alys: or drown urself in cold medicine

glen coco: Don’t do that

space bro: never listen to alya

alys: dont listen to these traitors

PM between glen coco and cough cough

glen coco: I bet the akuma attack last night really didn’t help Don’t worry about anything today I can handle it unless it’s another akuma Just get some rest <3

10:03 in boo you whore

cough cough: Self care is chugging five cups of tea and astral projecting behind a mcdonalds to punch hawkmoth in the face

11:46

glen coco: Mari no

alys: mari yes

space bro: mari wtf

cough cough: Im dyin g

alys: tag urself im punching hm in the face

space bro: im astral projection

glen coco: Five c ups of tea

cough cough: Does that make me the mcdonalds

space bro: congrats mari

glen coco: I can’t believe Mari is the golden arches

alys has changed their name to punching hawkmoth in the face

punching hawkmoth in the face: im finally my True Self gang follwo suit

cough cough: Why shoul d I LISten to you

punching hawkmoth in the face: bc u love me and want me 2 b happy and also bc i still have ur jacket in my bedroom

cough cough: Fuck

cough cough has changed their name to mcdonalds

space bros: al youre ridic

punching hawkmoth in the face: just do it babe

space bros has changed their name to astral projection

astral projection: there ya go

glen coco: Rip Glen Coco

punching hawkmoth in the face: truly a her o of his generation :’(

mcdonalds: RIp

glen coco has changed their name to five cups of tea

five cups of tea: Rebirth

mcdonalds: I hate you all img oing ot bed

punching hawkmoth in the face: goodnight my darlign <3

astral projection: nap well bro hopefully you feel better when you wake up

 15:37

punching hawkmoth in the face: remind me to throw my bag in the seine i dont wanna do hw :(

astral projection: i feel you

punching hawkmoth in the face: wanna get togheter and do hw

astral projection: do homework or “do homework”

punching hawkmoth in the face: have u ever met me “””””””do homework”””””””

astral projection: i need to figure out physics my dude

punching hawkmoth in the face: D’:

five cups of tea: I can help you when I get home tonight

punching hawkmoth in the face: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

astral projection: the real mvp i love you

five cups of tea: I love you too Have fun Use protection

astral projection: alya please kick him out of the chat

punching hawkmoth in the face: no i like him

astral projection: fuck

 18:57 mcdonalds: Screens hurt my head irhgt now Im gonna watch reruns and keep sleepng

punching hawkmoth in the face: feel better babe <3

 22:15

five cups of tea: Ok so the other day instead of doing homework I started reading les mis ANd now instead of doing homework I’m reading les mis again I can’t believe this is how I’m procrastinating

astral projection: what

punching hawkmoth in the face: the musical????

five cups of tea: No the book Which the musical is based off of

astral projection: what a nerd

punching hawkmoth in the face: lmao how is it

five cups of tea: Old Long

punching hawkmoth in the face: how long?

five cups of tea: Uhhh 655,000 words

mcdonalds: jesus

astral projection: what the actual fuck

punching hawkmoth in the face: holllllly fuck

astral projection: you my dude are unreal

punching hawkmoth in the face: for fun???? r u sure this is for fun???????

five cups of tea: I think so? It’s kind of boring sometimes and hard to get through but other parts are really good Also if I’m reading I don’t have to practice chinese

punching hawkmoth in the face: touche

astral projection: have fun reading bro you are unbelievable

PM between five cups of tea and mcdonalds

five cups of tea: Hey why are you up? I thought you were heading off to bed a while ago?

mcdonalds: I didnt take nyquil tonight because I felt a little better and didnt want to pass the fuck out again but now Im awake and cant sleep because my head feels like its gonna explode And I regret So much

five cups of tea: Aw no poor bug

mcdonalds: Ugh

five cups of tea: Do you want anything?

mcdonalds: You dont have to

five cups of tea: Do you want anything? If you want soup I can get you some

mcdonalds: Its like???? Really late?????

five cups of tea: Mar its only 20:30

mcdonalds: Oh It feels like 1 But its still late

five cups of tea: Ok well Late night food is not a new thing Trust me

mcdonalds: … If you brought me soup Id love you forever

five cups of tea: I thought you already did

mcdonalds: Id love you even more

five cups of tea: I’ll be on my way soon

mcdonalds: I love you so much <3

23:35 in boo you whore

punching hawkmoth in the face: what if you took tea in shots like shot glasses

five cups of tea: Like with hot tea?

astral projection: i feel like thats a good way to burn your entire mouth

five cups of tea: *entire life

astral projection: ^^^

punching hawkmoth in the face: hmmm

five cups of tea: Alya no

astral projection: yeah bad idea

punching hawkmoth in the face: f i n e

 1:02

mcdonalds: sos Im dying I constantly feel like Im about to sneeze If I dont feel that way its cause Im sneezing

astral projection: rip my dude guessing you cnat sleep while sneezing

mcdonalds: Nope :’( End my suffering please

astral projection: no can do i can offer virtual hugs

mcdonalds: I guess thatll work for now

astral projection: <3

2:03

PM between five cups of tea and mcdonalds

five cups of tea: Hey Hey Marinette Hey I have something to show you

mcdonalds: Adrien its 2 in the morning

five cups of tea: So? You’re up too

mcdonalds: I slept all day

mcdonalds: Yeah but you’re awake right now

mcdonalds: … Fine Hit me

five cups of tea: “When they had finished, when they had told each other everything, she laid her head on his shoulder and asked him: ‘What is your name?’” Us

mcdonalds: Oh my go d This is les mis right??? What youw ere talking about before??

five cups of tea: Yup

mcdonalds: Omg Why are you like this

five cups of tea: Ok but am I wrong????

mcdonalds: I cant say you are tbh

five cups of tea: Man I feel like Marius am I like Marius??

mcdonalds: Whats he like?

five cups of tea: Kind of oblivious, pretty romantic but sort of in a weird way, awkward, usually confused but can be scary if he needs to, handsome as hell and love of my life that I would honestly leave all three of you for

mcdonalds: Wow Are you sure you havent already

five cups of tea: :P Actually….

mcdonalds: Are you suddenly realizing youve left us for a fictional character

five cups of tea: No I was oging to say I might be more like Bossuet

mcdonalds: Youre just saying words I dont know who that is

five cups of tea: He always has bad luck Like always Ummmm hold on

mcdonalds: K Who would I be???

five cups of tea: “He was the constant victim of mischance, hence his merriment. He said, ‘I spend my life walking under ladders.’”

mcdonalds: Ok you mgiht be this Bossuet you bad luck magnet

five cups of tea: For you Hmmmm Enjolras?

mcdonalds: Not cosette??  Shes the love interest right

five cups of tea: As much as I love you Enjolras is the leader in red And I just can’t help myself

mcdonalds: Nerd Are you goind to do alya and nino too?

five cups of tea: D u h

 2:34

mcdonalds: Adrien?? You ok? Youve been quiet for a while Or did you fall asleep on your computer again

five cups of tea: No I’m here I’m just Stuck This is haarrrrrdddddddddd Alya and Nino are just so deep and complex and awesome and I dont’ know how to place them???

mcdonalds: True But wow Slightly offended

five cups of tea: Hey yours is based on a pun I can pun easy

mcdonalds: G o to sleep kitten You can sort them in the mornign Later this morning

five cups of tea: Fine I hope you’re feeling better

mcdonalds: A little bit!! The soup definitely helped Night <3

five cups of tea: Night <3

10:25 in boo you whore

astral projection: saturdays are chill but my mom wants us to clean the entire apartment today and im not about that life

 12:12

mcdonalds has changed their name to enjolras

enjolras: I have no idea who thi s is but I hope it makes Adrien happy

punching hawkmoth in the face: ???? wahts ahppenign

enjolras: Adrien said I was this charactera t like 2

astral projection: why the fuck do none of you people value sleep

punching hawkmoth in the face: how theh ell did that even come up in conversation

enjolras: He was saying he thinks hes like Marius

astral projection: huh

five cups of tea: I’m not sure yet

astral projection: bro!!!

five cups of tea: I'm thinking either Marius or bossuet for myself

punching hawkmoth in the face: r we supposed 2 know the second one

enjolras: Hes got bad luck Thats what I got from our convo when no one else was awake

punching hawkmoth in the face: change ur name i want u2b the hopeless romantic

astral projection: isnt he already??

punching hawkmoth in the face: lmao

five cups of tea has changed their name to marius

punching hawkmoth in the face: awesome were u gonna do nino and i??

marius: Yeah I’m just having some trouble

astral projection: yeah were just too unique to be put into little boxes

marius: Exactly

astral projection: that was sarcasm but i love you so much

marius: <3

punching hawkmoth in the face: hey question not that im doubting maris badassary but why enjolras

marius: Enjolras is incredibly passionate and would do anything for his friends and the people of Paris Reminds me of how Marinette is as class president

PM between marius and enjolras

enjolras: Nice save

marius: Thanks

in boo you whore

astral projection: I see it

marius: Alya could be eponine?

punching hawkmoth in the face: shes the one who cries about marius right

marius: Well I was actually thinking her cause Ponine she knows her way around And all that stuff But yes she cries about Marius she does have a song about that

PM between punching hawkmoth in the face and astral projection

punching hawkmoth in the face: lmao did he just give me the character hopelessly in love with marius

astral projection: rip

punching hawkmoth in the face: end my life

in boo you whore

punching hawkmoth in the face: i cna work with that

punching hawkmoth in the face has changed their nickname to eponine

astral projection: and then tehre was one

marius: I’m struggling

enjolras: Arent we all

eponine: Id help but I know literally nothing other than some of the lyrics RED THE BLOOD OF BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD

astral projection: theres no way that isnt right im 100% sure those are the actual words

eponine: BLACK THE BLOOD OF BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD

enjolras: Period mood

eponine: general mood

enjolras: Ok same

eponine: mood: red and black but the only words are blood

enjolras renamed this conversation to “red the blood of blood blood blood”

eponine: yes exactly

astral projection: sometimes i wonder why im friends with you

eponine: because u love us and would be sad without us

astral projection: ok yes but also why

marius: I mean maybe Grantaire? He’s a jack of all trades? Nino you are…really hard to place But R might be the best bet

enjolras: Wait a minute R?

marius: Yes

enjolras: Get out of this chat

marius: </3

astral projection: that is amazing

astral projection has changed their nickname to grantaire

grantaire: in it for the puns

marius: So is Hugo

enjolras: Who

marius: The writer of les mis

eponine: tag yourself im les miserables all of them

grantaire: you cant be all the miserables

eponine: watch me try

marius: Sorry you must have no idea what’s going on

grantaire: not really we have nothing to contribute but keep going dude!!! i love to hear you ramble

eponine: oh oh i have something to contribute

enjolras: You do?

eponine: 24601? more like 246 so done with your shit

enjolras: Im leaving the country

grantaire: whos shit?

eponine: uh oh fuck whos the antagonist again

marius: Society

grantaire: deep

enjolras: Stop being fake deep

eponine: feep anyway no u butt the police dude

marius: The only evil in les mis IS society And the Thenardiers OH JAVERT

eponine: YES THANK YOU

marius: Javert: do not forget my name Alya: forgets his name

eponine: fuck you also 246 so done with your shit javert

grantaire: thank you for clarifying

eponine: no prob

enjolras: Ok so Im googling stuff to try and figure out whats happening And wow This is depressing ¾ of us die

marius has changed their nickname to bossuet

bossuet: Now all of us die

eponine: nope change back 2 lover boy ur not dying too

grantaire: um no one is dying my dudes

bossuet: We’re always dying But fine

bossuet has changed their nickname to marius

enjolras: Im pretty sure Im dying righ tnow I almost coughed up a lung

eponine: GO TAKE MEDICIN E

enjolras: You arent my mom!!!!!!!!!

eponine: THAT DOESNT MEAN I DONT CCARE ABOUT YOU AND YOUR HEALTH!!!!!!!!!

enjolras: AHHHHH

eponine: AHHHHHH

grantaire: Ahhhhh?

marius: Ahhhhh

[cis-dichlorohexane]

What it feels like to get dumped.

Its like.. I start to get better, and then I start thinking about you again, and then I’m like damn…… I always figured if this ever happened, we’d still hang out or something. 8:16 pm  •  15 June 2017

Life update:

I feel pretty ok. Still miss you like hell. but I’m alright.

I hope you’re doing well.

10:58 pm  •  13 June 2017

wow. I feel really good today 10:27 pm  •  3 June 2017

Don’t read any of these posts

I got a moral boost today. \

feels great. The void is still there, but I don’t feel like the air isn’t working

4:26 pm  •  2 June 2017

I feel a little better

I watched doctor strange. Its about an egotistical doctor who loses something very important to him. He eventually finds peace and purpose again.

Haydee, I still want you to be part of my peace. But, maybe one day I can not feel like this anymore.

I hope you’ll go to lunch/dinner with me soon.

10:39 pm  •  1 June 2017

I’m losing you and I hate this so much everyday apart I lose you more and more I can’t do this I don’t want to live life without you last night I broke I was going to give you more space but I couldn’t and decided to call you today and then you called me at work. I shouldn’t have said I was at work, I should’ve said I was free and I could’ve seen you and picked you up Haydee I miss you so much and it hurts. Every day it hurts. All day it hurts. I want you to be happy But it hurts so much. Please let me see you Please give me another chance. “Well it was nice talking to you” That stings so much. I need to breath. I can’t breath

I want you to be happy. Please let me make you happy. I just want another chance. I called you and it I felt no care, no love in your voice. I miss you, and you know how I feel about you. And it felt like you were so over me. Six years, gone. I fucked up so bad I don’t know how long i can live like this Please let me see you

6:11 pm  •  1 June 2017

“He makes me so happy”

“Everyone says I glow”

“I don’t want to hurt you…”

“I really believe I deserve better than this.”

I… don’t think you’ll give me another chance… and…

I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to be with anyone else but you. I don’t…

i don’t know

I want you to be happy

And I also want to call you, talk to you, see you, hold you

I can’t remember when was the last time I looked into your eyes was. I can’t remember the last time I made you laugh.

I don’t want to lose you

I…. want to you to be mine

I wonder what you think of me

11:18 pm  •  30 May 2017

Thursday May 30, 2017; 7:24 PM

not a day passes by where I think of how much I fucked up. I had every opportunity to fix us, make you feel special, and I let it fall through the cracks. Its so hard to lose someone that I’ve known and talked to for so long so abruptly. Like, with Sebastian I got sick of his shit and, yeah, I felt some remorse, but I felt better without him.

I guess thats how you feel about me right now. You broke up with me, so you are probably so sick of my crap that you don’t want to deal with me anymore. Thats such a strong emotion and resolve, and its so hard for me to accept that coming from you. Because that means there so little chance at me being with you again.

I like to think that you miss me, think about me– at least from time to time. Six years is a long time, even if… I hate how stupid I am, why would I let things go so far? How long where you feeling this way? Of course you would want to leave. Of course the next guy to make you feel happy would be better than me.

I lost someone so important to me due to my recklessness, selfishness, and stupidity

I hate thinking about you two. I avoided driving down waters today because I didn’t want to see your cars parked together.

Nowadays I’m happiest thinking about us, if you gave me another chance. How we’d be happy together.

But its just…. there’s so much against me, and I really don’t think you’ll ever want to be with me again. I fucked up too much.

I shouldn’t have begged you to take me back. That was wrong. I shouldn’t have put you in that position and I should have respected your feelings.

I want you to be happy. But its so hard not having you in my life anymore. There’s so many times a day I just want to call you, but I’m trying to give you space. I know I’m annoying. But I deserve this. So many times I should’ve called you and I didn’t. So much I should’ve done and didn’t.

I wonder how far away you are from me right now. What do you think of me? I get through the day at times thinking theres still some chance, but, I think about it and, I pushed you far away enough to break up and move on. You moved on. I’m pretty sure you hate me, maybe take pity on me. That night in the car when I mentioned this you didn’t deny it. And can I blame you? No.. this is all on me. It sucks, so much, knowing you care about someone else more than me.

If you’re reading this, like I told you not to, I’m sorry you had to read this. I wanted to talk to you, vent about this, but I can’t talk to you about this. This is something that I did, and it just feels a little better to be able to vent. its just… I miss you so much. And its so hard not being able to call you up and hanging out when you get off work, or like the next day when we’re not busy, or spending the entire day together like we used to.

july 23 can’t come soon enough

7:25 pm  •  30 May 2017

I just wanna see you shine, ‘cause I know you are a star, girl. I’ve been in this club too long The woman that I would try Is happy wit a good guy But I’ve been drinking so much That I'ma call her anyway and say Fuck that nigga that you love so bad I know you still think about the times we had I say fuck that nigga that you think you found And since you picked up I know he’s not around 7:17 pm  •  29 May 2017

Don’t read this, I just need to vent

Sunday May 28, 2017; 7:55PM

I was thinking about you, I always am.

But I was thinking about you, how much I miss you, how much I wish I could talk to you. And I was laying in bed, I’m still at my uncle’s, about to take a nap. Hopefully dream about you.

And then you called me. I somehow knew it was you, or maybe I was just hoping so badly that it would be. And it made me really happy. It sounded like you were super busy, and the reception here is pretty bad. I don’t know if the call dropped or if you hung up. But its put my heart at ease for now. Like, it was really nice to talk to you and tell you how I am. I wanted to keep talking to you. Tell you about Ron and Genie, an old couple I met last night. They’re going to Costa Rica with my aunt and uncle + another aunt and uncle from Colombia. Ron had open heart surgery, he even showed me his scar! He owns this time-share motel on the beach for the last 20 years and Genie does something or other. They’re not married, but they’ve been together fro 21 years (they’re in their 60′s/70′s. They were nice to talk to.

But it was nice to talk to you. So nice. I wish you were here to see this sunset with me. There’s birds singing, the trees are rustling, my uncle has this gorgeous gazebo type thing overlooking a lake. You can hear the cars in the distance but it somehow adds to the beauty of this place.

And then other thoughts push their way in.

Why did you call me? Did you want to or was it to make sure I wasn’t killing myself after snap chatting drinks last night? But you were at work and I’m guessing on your break? Part of me feels like you want to see me but the realist part of me knows/thinks/feels like thats not the case. I guess its just part of being human to think what you want most is reality. You know how guys are, right? The slightest bit of affection from a girl and they always think the girl wants them. I hate my guy brain.

Thank you for calling me. I needed that.

oh, yeah… My uncle was saying his wife is his parcera, it means homie in Colombian slang. How they sometimes has this telepathic connection. Like how he made her coffee in the morning and afternoon before she was going to. I know we’ve had little instances like this. I like to think you calling me was one of those. I so badly wanted to talk to you and you called.

fuck I miss you

7:54 pm  •  28 May 2017

May 28, 2017; Sunday 12:31AM

I’ve been hanging with my aunt and uncle, drinking belvedere and grey goose, kickin with their Polish friends. I don’t talk to them much but its still really fun; they’re silly and nice to talk to/hear their Polish conversations

I miss you so much. I want to call you and tell you how I’m doing, hear how you are.

When I was coming here, my uncle asked if you were coming. I so badly wanted to say yes. I wish you were here, I know you’d love it. He has an open bar and my sun and uncle are the coolest adults I know. and Bourn, the rottweiler, is a teddy bear. I’ve missed this dog. I’m having fun. I just wish you were here to spend it with me.

I’m drunk/super tipsy off vodka. I love you

12:35 am  •  28 May 2017

Saturday May 27, 2017; 1:06 AM Please read this post only

Dear Haydee Lei,

We’ve spent about a quarter of our lives together. We’ve had our ups and downs, the later of which I stupidly caused. And I pushed you away, and I know that. This may be the worst mistake of my life thus far and that I’ll ever make.

I don’t know if he’s really leaving in July, how you will feel about him, if you will really give me a second chance, or if I can ever make you love me like before.

But I do know some things: I care about you more than I knew, and should’ve known. I care about you so much that I don’t care what anyone else thinks, just what you think. I care about you so much… that I want you to be happy. I want you to be happy with me, but if thats no longer a possibility, then I want you to be happy in whatever way possible.

I’m never going to stop thinking about you. I’m never going to stop loving you. I’m never going to forget the way you used to look at me. I’m never going to forget your voice when you called me baby. I’m never going to forget how you said ‘I love you’ when you truly meant it.

I want you to be happy, and I don’t want you to hate me. So even if it brings me the end of the abyss, I will leave you to be happy. I still want you as a part of my life, in whatever capacity that may be.

I love you

-Juan David

1:18 am  •  27 May 2017

As you can see, I have had a lot on my mind today.

I’m not going to stop fighting. I won’t let 3 months create a distance between us that can’t be fixed. I’ve made too many mistakes in my life, and this will NOT be one of them. I don’t care how long or hard I have to fight.

10:56 pm  •  25 May 2017

You were willing to spend the rest of your life with me, and all I had to say was yes.

I hate myself. I’m so stupid.

I just want to hear you call me baby again. To see the sparkle in your eyes when you look at me.

to hold you in my arms.

I know you hate me

I can tell by the way you sigh. How annoyed you are that I’m still trying. How you probably said you’d give me another chance so I’d shut up and not hurt my feelings. How can I blame you? After the way I treated you? You were my queen and I never treated you that way.

6:32 pm  •  25 May 2017

I’m scared

I’m scared that when you give me a second chance, you won’t be able to not think of him when we’re together

I’m scared that when you give me a second chance, you won’t be able to love me like you used to

I’m scared that you won’t give me a second chance

I’m scared of spending the rest of my life without you

6:27 pm  •  25 May 2017

Me: “Thank you for seeing me last night. I feel ok”

You: “That’s good to hear”

I’m not ok

I still miss you. I still feel so stupid for everything I did to you, everything I put you through. If I hadn’t done any of those things you’d still be mine.

and….

I think the only reason I don’t feel like a void is that theres a slight chance you can be mine again. You said he’s leaving. But…

Can I make you feel like he makes you feel? I don’t know

that’s three months from now. Three months to fall in love with him. Three months to forget about me completely. Three months for all the good that we had to fade from your memory and just remember all the bad, and hate me. Three months to ignore me.

Even if you gave me another chance… how can I make you forget him.

I want you to be happy

with me

I’m so fucking stupid

9:34 am  •  25 May 2017

Thank you for seeing me. You don’t know how much peace that gave me

and… its wicked… but I’m happy. Happy to know that he’s leaving

happy to know that, even if you were just saying that, you would be willing to give me another chance

12:16 am  •  25 May 2017

Please take me back

Haydee I love you. More than I knew myself. I can’t lose you

If you’re reading this, please call me.

I’ll do anything it takes.

I’ll treat you like the queen that you are to me

I’ll call you everyday

I’ll try to see you everyday

I’ll tell you how much you mean to me everyday

Please be my baby again

8:04 pm  •  24 May 2017

[aitian]

Oct 1 2019

Tuesday 11:35 pm

August was fine. I spent time with mom & dad & there were moments. I made pants w mom, mom gave me a nice bob cut, i went to wegmans to eat in the cafeteria w mom sometimes & adele at other times, i passed my drivers test & got my wisdom teeth pulled out, & i did not work on my book. I moved into college & nneka had a lot of friend drama and i felt like am imposter in the irc bc black women should be free in this space without me watching but also they believe in many of the evil col*mbia things i cant think good things abt. I began classes & had a scare when i wasn’t supposed to sign up for my grad student class but i interviewed during office hours & it was fine. i now think honestly i am one of the better students but the class is kinda a mess. so are my other classes. surprisingly cc is very good & i enjoy my prof.

September was less fine but we did it. aside from classes, i am feeling more and less in tough w my femininity. like i present with longer hair now but feel like my body is really awful for ppl to interpret still, and is end up wearing a hat every other day. Mom called me last night & told me she was back from china, my grandparents are fine for now probly, and jimmie/alice’s dad d*ed. I don’t rly know how to process this information but jimmie liked my instagram post last night. that’s so awful.

Some good memories:

- first day of lion dance practice i sweat so much & emma has such good skin they just glow on low plaza under the soft night lamps & i actually had a lot of fun moving around & being around emma & afterward we all went to get free gong cha & i got a mango slush w basil seeds bc i was like wow it’s paid for try smth fancy & i went to emilys woodbridge apt & Claire was there making pottery & emma was talking to them when i walked in & it was so pleasant to see them together and then emma also came to do pottery & we all sat together in claires big bedroom/living room at night & talked & i felt like a part of a rly nice warm family even tho everyone else is not that nice and warm feeling abt each other to some numbed extent bc of crushes & bad behavior & etc but i rly had such a good night

- i went to the ny art book fair with grace & we met emma there & looked at zines & claire came later & i was like wow these ppl who i don’t even know very well took time out of their day to b with me & then emma & i took the train back & i talked to emma abt anarchy & chinese folktales & daoism on the train ride back & also mia mingus on leaving evidence at some point but yea i rly liked sharing time with them on the ride back then i took a nap i shouldn’t have taken & left late to go to my first day of tutoring & ended up being 15 mins late bc the one train goes express on weekends but i stayed for 30 mins extra & got paid 100 for an hr!! i was standing in the elevator with two 50 dollar bills in my hand like??? what??? this is my life? rich ppl just have money to do whatever with ?????? also side note yesterday i taught her how to draw a circle given a center & radius without plotting a bunch of points from solving the equation 💩

- after the wow information session i went back home with em & we cooked noodles together & em told their roommates that there were so many leaks in the kitchen & they all came and gathered around a bundle of leeks on the cutting board & the wow info session had such good black sesame moon cakes bc they were home made & smth abt the freshness just makes them so 香 but yea it was so nice to talk to em & share some hugs & food & it rly reminded me of those times last yr when em randomly invited me over to eat noodles & take care of me & tbh that’s the only non-parent love that feels so real that i can cry

- today was so awful bc it’s a Tuesday & that means i have printmaking from 10-4 & then chinese avant-garde 4-6 plus mei from wow could only call me at 1 today out of all the times this week so i spent my lunch break doing that & another stressful thing was my oral presentation in the grad student class that i was rly not prepared for. so i wake up around 8:30 & try to finish the reading i want to present abt bc i wanna review & don’t come close to finishing & head off to class & i had spent 3 hrs in the print show the previous day preparing materials for this class that we didn’t even use so im making a stupid book & it’s so stupid & i eat a few of my dumplings i fried in the 10 mins before class started & can’t eat them bc i feel watched & pressure to read & pressure abt how i don’t know anything abt what to do in this art class & ppl helping always feels like ppl telling me I’m stupid & also im just feeling bad in my body. so i unsuccessfully make 1 book after two attempts & then it’s 11:30 & i give up & just sit down to read & restless reading & then i go to lunch meaning i come to my room to read & at this point im feeling suuper queasy like dry mouth, throat closing up, feeling like i wanna throw up so i do & there isn’t rly much to throw up & it’s 12:59 & i think abt throwing up some more but i rush to drink water instead & the call comes at 1:03 & i am so cheery & have nothing to say so i just say all the things abt me & then she asks if i have any questions & i talk abt how amazing em is as if that’s an answer but not before telling her u have to go to class so we say bye & i go to class & tomas isn’t there yet even tho he looked me in the eyes earlier in the day & said he wants to meet with all of us for crit & so i ask joanna if we will be learning anything Jew in the afternoon & she says no & she would go if she were sick so i just put my stuff away & go to my room to finish (sorta) reading & type up a script for my presentation & then i tell xinni im leaving class around 2:45 so we go to the heyman center & i finish writing my part of the thing & putting pictures in & she finishes hers & we go to class & our presentation goes very well & lydia helps question ppl for discussion too so it’s not that awkward & i ask lydia abt what is avant-garde if were talking abt capitalists selling colonial modernity & anarchists in the same sentence & she spends the last half our talking abt how movements should resist definitions bc those delineations of boundaries are not conducive to discourse & so class ends & now im shivering bc im sick & i come back to drink some nyquil yay & chat with my ra & then nneka swipes me in to the dining hall but shes w the ra chatting for too long in a line that’s too long so i leave & sit in bed with my food to take a 15 min nap & by some miracle i get up to talk to grace & kyoko abt a workshop for apia-u & then aaa meeting happens & its whatever & i come back to my room- pretty sad day right? but i look at my phone & see Emma has sent me a video out of the blue called i love eggs & it’s just a song saying i love u abt eggs thatturn into superheroes & planes & rainbows & etc & idk if this is a super gay proposal or sorts or just super gay friend things but i think i interpret it as both. Finally i got an email from em saying they would love to welcome me as a wow intern & im sorta guilty bc it somewhat feels like i tricked em into making this happen for me by being pitiful but that’s such an awful thing to think & mostly i am very excited to work with em & see em & go to Chinatown & be tender & goofy & also earn a bit of money?? but yes very very good day.

[survivorcostarica]

Ep. 1 - “Imagine suffering, imagine euthanizing yourself, imagine losing your will to continue on...” - Randy

i cant see pls send imitrex

i have a crush on cole, i'm in this game and virgin islands with him and i really like talking to him.  he is really genuine and easy to talk to, i feel ridiculous for admitting this but this was the first thing i thought to confess about lol

I want to shoot myself in the fucking face what is my tribe?! 

Cole is such a messy thot, Kevin is that but without being remotely good at the game, Arika and Julia are best friends IRL and 1000% will be working together. Louise is a fucking saint but that also terrifies me because I can't do shit against her without being a terrible person. At least Madison is really down to earth and chill even thought I've known her for two days and met her on Club Penguin. I don't know Bryce, Noah or the other one so they're 1000% my go to people right now.

Ohkay hi hi. My name is Bryan and I’m here to try and NOT flop at this game. Ok sooo. I’m looking at my tribe and i notice. My best friend Madison is here. Just kidding i HATE her. Or at least that’s what i will want people to think so we aren’t targeted for our friendship or whatever cuz we had BEEF in our last game. Um. Josh is also here. I was in another game with him but i didn’t really get to talk to him that much. Other than that cole and Kevin seem nice enough and are talkative so that’s good. I guess I’ll just be able to talk more with other people later.

Imagine suffering, imagine euthanizing yourself, imagine losing your will to continue on in an ORG you were last minute filled into. I literally hate this whole tribe so much, and I'm going into this game with the mindset that we are losing every single immunity and reward. When I saw the first three cast reveal posts i prayed i wasnt on the orange tribe. i actually believed and god, and asked him for forgiveness for all the sins ive committed and pleaded my case to on why i shouldnt be on this tribe. but, alas here i am. so its time to play i guess I'm not good with social game, and thats why i usually fail at survivor. I always have a good first few days, but then its just me being inactive and skirmming my way until my inevitable premerge eviction. But in this game im literally going to pull all the stops i can. I will start to set up my reputation as a good survivor player. And it starts here. Even if nobody pms me I will take this game by storm. Meaning right now its getting good with the influential such as Jay and Drew. They have a few buds on the other tribe, and working with them can only help me when we hit merge. i'm also going to keep Chrissa tight because she is just such a good ally, but its also going to be hard to protect her as she is such a shit competitor. But thats all plans let me talk about to cast Cameron: Love cameron our last org played together we made final 3, and he asked me to cut him. I will keep him under my sphere of influence especially since he said he isnt familiar with this group of players Chrissa: I also love chrissa. She can be a little annoying sometimes, but she always has good intentions. She is fiercely loyal, and thats something great to have in an ally because numbers are more important in survivor than big brother Constance: I don't like him. I want nothing to do with him. The closest association I ever had with constance was us two being on the same cast reveal post. And I'm far more than content with that interaction. He's from facebook, and that means he is going to stir the pot when there isn't any stirring necessary. He is going to make a move just to make a move, and if I cut him earlier the better. But if I can work with him, and test and experience how he plays this game. I do think it would be more entertaining Drew: I have good relations with him but really havent played an org with him. I have no intentions on backstabbing him especially in this cast. I do think he will either slide into the shadows, or emerge as the person calling the shots for this tribe. Jay: Same as Drew tbh. They're together as a duo, so anything one does the other will follow. I'm not going to beef with him Jill: I haven't met Jill before this. but she is the driest person i have pm'd in a while. Me and her are having forced small talk, but i dont want to lose connections with her yet. I'm hoping she isnt well liked or well received so she can leave. Reagan: Me and her have butted heads so many times in vls. If you wanted a fight. Its going to be between me and her i bet your hat. Sam: I dont know if he's a newbie or from a community. But me and him kicked things off really well, and I'm feeling natural chemistry with him. I'll keep him near my sphere of influence for sure. Roxy: Going against Roxy is such a stupid move. Because she's just going to waste her whole entire game trying to vote you off. She gets really bitter easily, and i dont know what the hell she's saying half of the time. I dont understand her game or her mouth so im just gonna let her be...

[12:25:40 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: dam stop tryna out do my intro  do I have to add my likes too?  tch [12:25:48 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: I like big BUTTS and I cannot lie [12:25:53 PM] Chrissa Bullard: lol [12:26:54 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: okay Ill admit idc about the size of your butt [12:27:01 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: even if you have a small butt id still potentially like u [12:27:12 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: but yall are gay so like  what can a straight gal like me do [12:27:29 PM] Chrissa Bullard: hello sam and roxy with her butt equality [12:29:22 PM] Jill: if u wanna be my friend add me and SAY hey bc i forget to add people [12:29:53 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: and I say HEY what a wonderful kinda day [12:29:54 PM] Jill: also msg me ur pronouns thanks [12:29:57 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: you can learn and work and play [12:30:26 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: my pronouns are "my lord" and "your highness" [12:30:51 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: I said I was a she cause dan didn't take me seriously even tho imma hella serious [12:30:52 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): my pronouns are he/they and they are actually serious :) [12:31:02 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: oi how dare you say I aint serious [12:31:36 PM] Chrissa Bullard: your highness is serious do not get my lords pronouns wrong :P [12:31:41 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: :/ I'm the lord and the queen roxy herself [12:31:42 PM] Chrissa Bullard: seriously though [12:31:47 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: of course my pronoun is your highness [12:31:57 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: thank you ! see? chrissa gets it! [12:32:02 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: look I even have a crown as proof [12:32:07 PM] Chrissa Bullard: true [12:32:13 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: i trans-itioned from being a commoner to being a queen [12:32:51 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: also if i don't pm you its cause i avoid social interactions at all times [12:33:00 PM] Chrissa Bullard: a mood [12:33:05 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: and i haven't left  my house in 9 days [12:33:13 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: apart from an hour once to go to the gym [12:33:17 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: i haven't recovered since i take medicine. its called coffee. it helps releave the symptoms of being dead inside

My tribe is probably going to be useless. Which means that we have to turn it OUT for immunity. Randy, Roxy and I are all attempting to make flags. I have faith in Randy's abilities... roxy, not so much. But she does have a good artistic ability, so I hope she turns it out for this. We can hope. We can hope.

Blah blah blah. Confessional confessional. The immunity comp is a flag making competition. Which means i can’t really participate. The one we have so far tho is super cute!! There’s a Julia on our tribe. I have to start learning people’s names. Ugh. Too much work. 

I think like our tribe will win immunity, looking at cadejo’s scores, they seem like flops I mean that tribe is super ugly so ya know… cute is gonna devour gorgeous. Anyways Anthony is doing great at the flag I gave him the ideas, he executed them for me so everyone is great. Also i got this red KEY

I really don't like my tribe but I think I like the other tribe even less just from the few people I've encountered before or at the very least heard about. If anything though that's great for me because I have all of two or three people I remotely care about so I have no issues with taking people out.

RANDY'S FLAG LOOKS TERRIBLE! but we're going with that one anyway!!! even though its literally furry meme nonsense!!! so i hope to god i dont get targetted when we lose bc i made an effort not to be a grumpy ass beyotch!

ummm roxy said she and sam wanna align with me!! it's so early!!! I may work with Reagan bc we worked together previously I think!! Everyone else seems fine. I'm gunna msg drew and everyone else tomorrow or later and say hey I've been napping!!! Go team

I honestly think im going because peop le don't tell me anything I'm scared 

[3/28/18, 1:55:57 AM] Drew (heuse1ac): "I love y-...ughch..." [3/28/18, 1:56:05 AM] Drew (heuse1ac): Cameron 2k18 im just gonna put this here ;)

Anyway. Here's some tea. Roxy thinks I talk too much about being in the hospital. Sorry sweaty, I'm disabled, I'm gonna be in the hospital. And I have the right to talk about whatever I want. ANYWAY, Constance, the literal loml, gave me this tea so that's great. I LOVE HIM. So we made an alliance of me and drew, because drew has a "bad reputation" (sweetie, you were the one making tasteless comments night one, let's not get it twisted here!!) We talk a bunch, we have good laughs, and we head to bed. I went into this round wanting to target Roxy anyway, but she just went painted a bullseye on her back for me!

This first round felt so nostalgic to me, in the sense that being gone from these games for a while allowed me to step back and revitalize the way that I play games. In the beginning of the game, I felt an immediate connection with Cameron. He is someone who has a really nice, personable outlook as a person and I could see myself becoming really good allies and friends outside of this game. I also really enjoy Drew, Sam and Jill. Drew: I was excited to see him in this game because we just met a few days before the game started because he flirted with me a little and I thought he was a nice guy in general. I haven't had the chance of getting to know him all that well yet, though he stated to me that he will not write my name down throughout the game when we were first added to the tribe, so I hope that stays as promised. Sam: We both come from the same community but we both individually transferred to Tumblr at different points in time. I don't know him well enough to say he could be someone I stay with for the long run, but I have had a few calls with him and he seems pretty straightforward about what he wants in this game and where he wants to go. I'll leave it at that for now. Jill: She is literally everything that is me. "I'm going to see my sugar daddy," "I am eating a whole barbecque chicken pizza to myself," "I need money" I LOVE THIS CHICK! We need to align and become friends for sure because I can't see myself without her! One smaller relationship I have is with Chrissa and that will require some work on my part, both game wise and friend wise included. We had a rough past on a personal note but we are working our ways around it to become friends again on a personal level, not even on a game level. I feel like if Chrissa is able to handle herself in this game with me the way she did in Arrakis ages ago, she should be good to go with me! The people I really don't talk with or connect with right now are Jay, Roxy, Randy and Regan. - Jay just hasn't spoken a lot, but that may be subject to change? - Regan has this huge negative perception that everyone has given about her and I'm honestly not about holding past games or whatnot against anyone. If she is as crazy or as ballistic as people say she is then that will happen on it's own accord. - Randy is..Randy. I'm not really putting a whole lot here. He comes off extremely weird to me and I'm not feeling it. - Roxy and Randy both share the same trait they don't mind expressing: their messy players. I'm not one to want to play with people who are going to knowingly make things difficult for me in this game moving forward. I feel like getting out people who tend to be wildcards for my individual game will boost my ability to better know the personalities I surround myself with. Intended Target: Roxy Reason: I had a call with Sam and discussed some feelings about the challenge for the flag that had taken place. In my individual opinion, expressing the idea of putting in effort for a challenge and then doing the opposite of what you said you would do, shows a false sense of sportsmanship and that bothers me. Roxy said she would make a temporary flag as a concept, but never did and constantly said "I'm lazy, so I don't want to do it." Adding on to the reason above, I was asked if I wanted to be added to a call with Sam by Roxy as they were both speaking with each other and I said I wouldn't mind joining. We both tried asking Roxy about potential ideas for the vote off and Roxy made it clear that Regan would be too easy to get rid of. Then came the critical point of the conversation where Roxy would bring up Cameron and Drew's names, stating that Drew apparently has a bad or weird reputation in the Tumblr community of games, but this is COSTA RICA not any other game. She also stated in regards to Cameron word for word that, "I just think Cameron talks about themselves too much in the main chat, and that brings people to feel for them more, and that makes them look bad" and this was in relation to when Cameron stated he was in the hospital. I found that to be extremely bothersome because otherwise, Cameron has never talked about himself constantly or anything like that. My intentions are to pull myself, Drew, Cameron, Jill, Sam and Jay to vote out Roxy. I started the idea when I asked Sam on call blatantly and he agreed and I calmly took it by step. That's all I have folks! I hope this works out and if for some odd reason I go home first, well then it was fun while it lasted! 

Okay so I need to catch yall up on how shit can turn into bliss SO reward I literally ate shit in. i scored to lowest out of everybody in the whole cast. Making myself inferior to competition flops like Chrissa. So that wasnt really well. However my soccial game has been stepping up. Even though im lacking a little bit in the pm part of my game. I have been having good chemistry with literally everybody in the tribe chat. I have also led us in the flag immunity. So me and Cameron made a flag. And the tribe had to pick which one, and it was pretty set even. I do think the end result wouldve been the same but it was nice to see people on my side and supporting me. So then we lose the tribal flag, and im literally yeeted away from the tribe. Which is really good since with this tribal vote i wouldve been thrown under the bus. allegedely roxy has been throwing names around, and had i stayed in the tribe it might of been my name that was thrown around since it was my flag that lost. so im happy to avoid the drama of the first vote. but now that people have bonded since roxy's polarization im starting to become more outcasted. I just need go stronger for immunities and amp up my social game even more. Since ive been to the other tribe I have a feeling on whats happening. Cole is aligned with all them bitches. Literally Madison Louise are people he's played with before, and when we talked in pms he said this tribe is full of his friends. He is very safe in his tribe which is really nice. Since the League of Gays need to work together at the merge : ~)

[survivor-hosts]

Ep. #5: “TRICK ASS RAISIN” - Andrew

For this round, the game was One World and the players will allowed to talk to the members of the other tribe. The tribes competed in Crack the Code with the tribe with the lowest combined amount of guesses winning Immunity. Naicha lost for the second time in a row.  There was a lot of confusion throughout the day about who had what advantage with the members of Jinsei trying to influence the vote as well.  Matt decided to use his vote reveal on Drew seeing that Drew cast his vote against Matt instead of Allision like he said he would.  Matt went to Sam asking her to use the Haumaru idol for him stating that the votes were coming his way.  In a deal to still play the Haumaru on herself, Sam gave Matt the Sapphire Idol to use.  Sam and Matt tied the vote by voting for Allison and Josh to cancel out all 6 votes cast at tribal.  Only Drew and Connor were now eligible to be voted for and Drew was sent home in a 3-1 vote.

All I wanna say is fuck matt summers for inventing the jeopardy swap.... Luckily we won, but Sam is a big meat shield and it would be nice to have her around that way I'm not seen as a threat and the target is all on her. Thats why I'm contemplating abducting her which is a big move, but risky cause then i have to explain why I did it and how i found the amulet and i dont have the answers to that. I guess I'll see how this tribal goes. I'm really happy to reconnect with Jessy cause I think the two of us could do some mad damage in this game. I'm trying to get info now so hopefully that works. As for MJ, hes cool but I dont think he really tries if that makes any sense. Oh well, hopefully I can last longer since I'm right back to having no alliances again

*Playstation Trophy Sound* Got Past 13th Place

Can't wait to be fifth boot

i see you palawan twist i see you

miss sam getting the haumaru idol makes things complicated because i want to flip next tribal to work with mj but in order to do that i need lydia to come along. in the event we end up losing sam's gonna be asking what's happening because she needs to know how to use the idol. i'm no dummy and knows that she would want mj to go before anyone on this tribe so i can't tell her that we're voting scott/andrew out because i know she's close to scott, and if i tell her we're voting mj/jessy then flip to work with them, i've lied to sam and she won't trust me. god this idol really just came at the worst time possible. the best case scenario would be to win this round because i really can't deal with this idol getting played against me

So fuck all of this? Honestly the Solomon one world twist giving me all this tea is life but the tea burnt my tongue and I'm pissed the fuck off. Because I'm literally gonna be advantaged out again! So let's just run through all these supposed advantages: Sam - Sapphire Idol but like could be a Phoenix Idol? Idk Sam's a shady fuck and threw me under the bus to Scott to make him not trust me. "Just know they have a chat without you" IT WAS 9 MINUTES YOU TRICK ASS RAISIN (also has a regal idol? idfk but girl can go) Matt - Regular idol? Idk? Idk how him and Sam would both have a regular idol. Also a vote negator I guess. Wtf? Scott - Amulet Of Abduction that he didn't tell me about. Which ngl? Hurt? Like I thought he was my number 1 and yeah I was skeptical I was his ACTUAL number 1 but. He knew about the map since day 3. And now almost every space is gone and I just hate myself so thank you Scott! Like love him but highkey pissed at him rn because all of these people having the map for so long and everyone having all of these advantages has psyched me out :') Jessy - Obsidian Idol which is the only thing I'm not fully mad about. Except I guess everyone knows about it. But this could be good if we need to break a tie. But could also not work because we're in One World and people could transfer idols and shit to MJ/Lydia/Connah. So now I'm in this fun f3 with Scott and Jessy. Love Jessy. Am now skeptical of Scott. They both know Allison and I are hosting Hoenn on the side but like, I changed my name to Kyoto host hehe. Except everyone has probs noticed oops idc. All I know is that MJ, Lydia, Connah, and Sam are probs together. And I'm really pissed at Sam like? She had no reason to not wanna be with us. I just thought that the older players would be mature enough to not rely on past relationships but instead they're all Obligation Flocking™ and I'm like okay whatever that's fun. Can't blame them for taking the easy way out when at the beginning of this game I was so ready to unapologetically vote out Allison or Drew - 2 very close friends of mine. But hey maybe I'll give them some benefit of the doubt and they'll start backstabbing one another. If they do, I wanna be here for it.

Okay so, a lot of shit went down so I need to dive right into it. Not gonna lie I was really happy to see Sam make it out of there alive and that they voted out David, cause I was scared as to what would happen. And I was surprised to see David come for Sams life at the end of that. Her target is growing bigger and bigger with each passing moment, which is a huge concern to me. Now in the moment I thought I did the right thing by doing this, but I revealed to Sam that I have the Amulet of Abduction and told her I would use it on her if she was ever in danger. We decided not to use it this round, but to wait until the next cause she found the Harimau Idol, so she has to automatically play that this round. Jessy also approached me and revealed the map to me. I wasn't surprised she did this, but I was surprised that she wants to lead an army against Sam and her other allies. Which I'm happy I'm not the only one that realizes her threat status, however I don't think I'm in a position to really go after her. Like I feel like I could be like how Matt Summers was in Adversaries if I flip. Cause they have all of these advantages, and I don't want any of them to screw me over. Most importantly, I dont want to be the first person to be Sapphire Idoled out twice so I need to do my best to maneuver around all these advantages. So Jessy and I made an alliance with Andrew to potentially lead the resistance against these big threats and we agreed that one of them needs to go during premerge. I think I'm in a good position because I don't have like a big duo. In Maluku, my duos were Mattica and Maria and they made flipping to the favorites 10x easier. This time around I don't really have any strong significant allies, but I would rather be at the end with people like Jessy and Andrew over people like Sam and Lydia. I kinda just feel like I'm Sam and Lydia's secret lapdog just because they include me in somethings, but not everything. Like I don't appreciate how close they are with Connah/MJ/Matt Summers when all three of them don't ever converse with me unless I go an initiate the conversation. And if I'm going to align with people, I need to know that I can trust them. For now I'm gonna act like I'm with Sam/Lydia, but I dont see it lasting too long. If we lose they'll want to vote out either Jessy or Andrew and I don't want to see them go.

[18/06/2017, 11:12:22 AM] Josh: should i start calling you wonnor [18/06/2017, 11:12:26 AM] connor: no. [18/06/2017, 11:12:30 AM] Josh: just a 1 letter difference to winner tho :~) [18/06/2017, 11:12:43 AM] connor: uh [18/06/2017, 11:12:44 AM] connor: no [18/06/2017, 11:12:46 AM] connor: its two

For the past 7 days or so this game has been making me anxious and i'm not sure why! i dont like checking chats or even Skype. Yesterday I took a nap, woke up and saw a PM from Lydia and I'm like "HHHHHHHHHHHHHHH right im playing TS". I dont know why i feel like this!!!!! This dosent happen at all. I've played too many games to know that. I suspect it's the one year gap between Gens and this one. The stress is 3 much 5 me. Anyways I needed to rant but here's game stuff now lol. Idk what to expect this coming round. I dont feel comfortable on Naicha. I have Connor, I know but I have a feeling is hiding something. I want to work with Sam because in the long term I want to work with Lydia and slide under the radar. I HOPE it's the Sri Lanka twist so everyone gets a fresh start but I might be taking for granted the position I have in Naicha. I do not like having control and not being in the loop. If we factor in everyone. It's an Old School feel on a New School game and I can't keep up with modern Tumblr Survivor. I'm gonna get eaten alive in this game. Wont be surprise if i go out premerge again lol

I love suffering

Honestly I'm just so happy we won because.... I can still hide in the background for a bit. I know if my tribe were to go to tribal, I would have to pick a side to work with. Do I go with Jessy/Andrew, or do I go with Lydia/Connah/MJ. And honestly if we lost I probably would have stuck with Jessy/Andrew because I really don't... trust MJ. Like he makes no effort to like talk to me, which I could reach out to him but idk its kinda awkward so I might do that tomorrow. But like I don't see why people expect me to work with people who I have no relationship with. As for Connah, I actually am starting to like him. He's been approaching me for once and we actually hold decent conversations which really caught me by surprise. Like I thought he was faking everything but turns out he's being legit. Which is good for the Sam/Lydia side of things, but I'm also starting to get the feeling that they are wary of me. I don't blame them because if they are suspicious they have every right to be. If it wasn't for Jessy dropping the T about them I probably would have been their goat. I'm thankful Jessy clued me in on what's really been going on just because now I have the chance to really impact this game. I just hope all of these advantages don't become the death of me. At least the Haumaru idol gets played this tribal so thank god.

i'm playing with a bunch of dummies

The plan right now is to have a 3-2-1 vote. 3 votes on Matt, 2 votes on whoever Sam and Matt vote, 1 vote Sam. This is to be safe in case Sam plays a Sapphire Idol, or Sam plays an idol on herself. People are concerned about Sam having a regular idol/haumaru idol so it's just a safety net in case those happen. I am not confident going into this tribal council at all. This is an important one and this sets the tone for merge. I'm prepared to get voted out as well.

This has been crazy, and i'm barely getting this in before tribal, so here's a summary: So Sam tells me her advtandage is a ruby idol but tells others that it is a saphire idol. The challenge was indiviudal so people thought it was the Palawan joint double tribal of doom twist. Josh, myself, Connor, and MJ made and alliance since we are starting to be seen as duos (Me/Josh and MJ/Connor). We lose the challenge and its a regular tribal. I called with Josh to figure out our approach to tribal, with three of us (ending up being myself, Drew, and Allison) voting Sam, Sam and Matt voting another (for Allison), and Josh voting alone for Matt. TBH it's scary but im glad its not my name being the second name, because there is more than likely a buy-back so even if an ally gets voted out, theres a high change they can and will come back. 3-2-1 ensures that if a saphire idol is played, which is probably what Sam has and lied to me about having a ruby idol, Matt goes home. If no idol gets played, Sam goes home. If a regular idol gets played on Matt and Sam plays the saphire idol, we revote. The only way shit hits the fan and allison goes home is Sam or Matt play an idol on Sam. To make sure the plan works tho, I had to take a page from Nick Wentworth and record some calls. I went on 8 calls today alone, and I recorded all of them. Will they be useful? We'll see. To make sure the 3-2-1 works, we had to make sure Sam and Matt vote one way. To do that, I worked a conversation on iMessage with Matt so that he thinks he came up with the idea of voting out Allison (or any one). I let him lead the conversation, saying that I was "ready to make a move" (true) and i was "over naicha" (no?) so that an alliance was made of me, Sam, Matt, and Drew as safety. I made fake receipts with Drew so they think the alliance is legit. So, in summary: I am literally in an alliance with everyone on this tribe.

When Sam tells u on call she wants to use the Sapphire Idol to save Matt Summers.... tbh I don't see that being a good move moving forward cause there's so many people she has to explain her reasoning's behind that too. I'm actually kinda hoping Matt  goes cause then it breaks up the big Sam/Lydia/Matt/MJ/Connah alliance that everyone is so worried about and it can ease me in this game knowing that I'm not too much on the bottom. Honestly Sam should just worry about saving herself and whatever happens to Matt happens to him. He got himself in that mess and it isn't Sam's responsibility to save him. Moving forward, I'm starting to think it's best that I just stick with Jinsei. While my tribe is filled with threatening people, Niacha seems to be pretty strong moving forward and with Jessy already on the outs I don't see how flipping to them would benefit me long term. But I do need to figure out how to work the A Dora Bowls (Me/Jessy/Andrew) in this game because honestly they're people I want to go to the end with.

mj and i this entire round

allison is so funny KLSJSLKSJKL me: MJ king of thinking this is a monarchy allison in my pms: Omg u dislike him too? BKLMSDFMKLSKLMSD i told her ass the Tea. We WORKING TOGETHER to get out these Jinsei hoes + Matt/MJ. jinsei minus a dora bowls at least People who won't vote me out: - MJ (possibly) - Andrew - Allison - Scott (possibly) - Josh - Connor - Drew (possibly) People who will vote me out: - Connah - Sam - Lydia - Matt (possibly)

[datingadviceonreddit]

Hey so I'm a 24 M, (Quick & Honest self assessment time): 1. I am an fairly okay looking man. best features: would be my very green eyes, not fat, easy going, Gentle with rough exterior. Surprisingly soft spoken. 2. I am not panty dropping gorgeous (admittedly)3. I've been around. I know things about stuff sometimes.Okay so here it goes! Maybe 2 days ago I go into the dentist to get a temporary tooth put in because one of my back right teeth got broken in half after taking a pool stick to the face by my drunk older brother.Little did I know. My normal dentist and my normal dentists assistant were not in that day. Instead I was greeted by a dentists assistant that I had never met before...Yes 3 dots. She was a doppleganger of a very gorgeous former boss of mine (maybe 4-5 years back) from another field of work entirely, and yes her name was the exact name as the doppleganger! No shit! this is the truth.I said "No way! I know you! You were my boss!"TDA(The Dental Assistant): kinda did that blush / smile thing with her head to the right. giggles and says "I was? I'm not sure I was anyones boss, but I think I like being called boss."Me: Well boss, you were definitely my boss, back at "Such n such place".TDA laughs now and is still smile her original smile says: I have never worked for "Such n such place".at this point there is that thing! with the spark and spontaneous chemical reaction, and the eye contact, and the body language, and the vibes ~~~~~, maybe even a whoosh. what i'm trying to say is that Chemistry was thick in the air between the 2 of us.I won't make you read the entire visit. So ill summarize the important bits.I had just gotten done working 30 hours at a NOC. honestly the only reason why I got off work was because I had this dentist appointment schedule 2 weeks in advance.so when she left me to to bite down on the thingy for 5 minutes to make a mold. I dozed off. and kinda drooled a bit when it was taken out. (I know its not all that attractive.)but I am an honest fella. I own what I have done. I said: "This is what happens I take naps when I'm not supposed to... I drool attractively all over my chest to help mark my territory from monsters and bugs."TDA laughed!!! and more than that she cleaned off a bit of the molding I missed from the top of my lip. while we continued to talk and laugh.during the process of doing the tooth stuff ( never do numbing because I hate being numb.) she couldn't stop not looking at my eyes.and kept making comments about me having the procedure done without any numbingcommented on how soft my voice is. (like she was noticing stuff bout me... and liking what she noticed.)she was the one that made the temp tooth for me and she did a terrific job. I was thoroughly impressed. and told her so. this seemed to make her day.more than just a couple times there was some touching... done by her that didn't necessarily require touching to be done. (not inappropriate at all. just extra physical contact.) wu wu.. wu? eye browsAt the end of the appointment she walked me up to the counter and our good byes were very much genuine and with much eye contact. ( I realize now I should have asked for her # at this point in time dummy shamed myself already )FYI: No I did not see a ring on her hand. but yet at the same time im not sure thats something dentist or dental assistants can wear at work given there line of work.REDDIT!!! what do I do! its been days and I cant stop thinking about TDA! & and I know the risks if she should say no.& I don't even know how to go about initiating or getting back in contact with her without becoming an uber stalker. I would need to be like super upfront about this and go to the office and ask for her (if she was available) and then ask her in front the staff, & patients, and god, and the fucking world after coming all that way over there if having her # would be cool with her.but at the same time. Reddit... that spark. those vibes. all I can say was it felt legit.BTW if TDA happens to have a reddit & may be reading this and the story is familiar and you know its me & you know I would know its you! & you feel the same way then PM me! I wanna get to know you more!Everyone else upvote until its on the main home page so she sees this! via /r/dating_advice