#obfuscation for the sake of incoherence

[masonpowellposts]

The Invention of the Internet.

Have just spent hours in loops that turn around and back on themselves, I have come to the conclusion:

THE INTERNET WAS INVENTED BY FRANZ KAFKA

[theshedding]

What Haiti's past tells us about the meaning of Resistance & “Revolution”

One of the realities of American education (public or private) is that the already abbreviated history of Black people in the United States is completely non-intersectional and without recognition of the larger international African diaspora with respect to (1) Black liberation or (2) American and New-world European colonial history. For instance, it is not commonly recognized that proportionally-most Black people from Africa who arrived in the “New World” due to the Atlantic Slave Trade did not live in North America but in the Caribbean, South and Central America. That is to say, if you were enslaved (or newly freed) outside of Africa at any point from the 16th through late 19th century outside of Africa, you would’ve had a one in three (or four) chance of living in the United States. Ask your average Black person on the street about this and it’s news. Ask your average non-Black person on the street about this and it’s even more surprising news. And why wouldn’t it be? Due to highly racialized educational systems, steadfast commitment to Black marginalization, indifference and/or Black & indigenous marginalization, most Americans who don’t actively seek this information have very limited knowledge about critical historical events. The American Revolution and details are reduced to incoherent romanticized narratives about English tea and “tyranny”. The Civil War is also vague and obtuse in its descriptions of Southern animus and economics. “Reconstruction” is a word that, admittedly, I did not learn (or had forgotten about) until an adult...and as a young person I fancied myself more knowledgeable than most about Black History through extra-curricular history lessons, elders, activities and educated parents. Even I was unaware of the sequence of Black history, resistance and triumph on critical historical events in Black American history.

Fast forward to the 2016 Presidential Election, the word “Revolution” and phrase “We need a Revolution!” was flagrantly thrown around and abused in public discourse by young (and older) people who undoubtedly grew up with the same biased and negligent public educational system I had grown up with and (in many cases) profoundly less extra-curricular historical exposure and education. As a culture, we would then start to see real gains in the #BLM movement and the zeitgeist towards radical change and structural reforms from race to finance and public safety. I was quite happy to participate in the resurgence of a resistance movement, especially one centering itself around issues of Black liberation. It’s what I’ve been around most of my life. What I wasn’t comfortable with however, was the use of the term “revolution” to describe it. At least not by White people (there’s a reason for that) and/or by younger people (of any color/ethnicity) who also undoubtedly had been steeped in the vapid romanticism of ‘revolutionary’ history taught to us by our primary and secondary US educational indoctrinations. 

I have been in formal activism and education personally 30+ years now. Make no mistake, I absolutely support of “change” in our society, particularly towards social justice and Black liberation. And I have no wish to exclude White people or any other ethnicity from being enthusiastic activists or communicators of social/economic/political justice. That’s not my point. What my case is however, is that I’ve always been uncomfortable with the careless use of the term “revolution” in our national political conversations about race, justice, history and radical change. Particularly if that term is being appropriated for something other than racial equality of Black or indigenous people in this country. Historically, “revolution” has been inextricably tied to some aspect of Black resistance in the new world. To update the term in a way that erases or obfuscates deep racial inequities makes me uncomfortable in its lack of this historical context. Aside from that appropriative term however, the use of the sub-category or phraseology “radical change” in connection with “revolution” is problematic for its own reasons; ‘radical change’ and ‘radical ideas’ have become erroneously conflated terms in this way. Historically speaking, radical ideas have always endured much longer than the actual moment of revolution and change itself. In my lifetime there have been a number of “radical” changes; cigarette use and public smoking, seatbelts, recycling, eco fuels, Black people being on television and not talking “jive”, Gay/Bi and Trans people simply existing while not living a sad, diseased-ridden and isolated life, smoking weed and pre-existing conditions in health care are all things which were massive structural changes in society that took lifetimes to negotiate, deconstruct and implement. The idea came way before the actual change. And every one of those ideas were not radically “changed” in any one moment or by any one person. Instead those changes represented a patchwork of efforts by nameless, thankless individuals, organizations and multiple leaders whose work at times overlapped in various ways. Many of whom died or had to leave their advocacy before their desired change could be realized. Simply saying “radical change” and/or conflating change with charismatic leaders, “revolution” and politicians without acknowledging radical ideas, radical people (plural) and radical efforts over long stretches of time is a betrayal of history, the people working to change and correct it and those who have worked to correct it, for our sake.

On this day, January 1st, 2021, the 217th anniversary of the dissolution of Saint Domingue and the beginning of Haiti (Áyitì), the very first ever Black republic in the European/Western colonial world, named in honor of-and deference to-the indigenous Arawak/Taino “Indians” of the Caribbean, the process of what change really looks like is as profound as it ever was. Most of us have not studied this history in any appreciable detail-Black people included. Many might be surprised to know that Haitians came to Philadelphia, Charleston (S.C.) and New Orleans as a direct result of what happened in the late 18th and early 19th century and that there are Black and White Americans living there right now with traceable ancestry to this Caribbean island and the revolution that occurred there (until earlier this year I wouldn’t have known that either). Despite what Kanye West said, Black people did not ‘choose’ inferiority, slavery and colonial oppression. In fact, they resisted it and plotted revolution from the moment they boarded ships in West Africa. Especially in places like Haiti where many of the Africans arriving were literally soldiers, prisoners of wars and being replenished every 5-7 years because of the high death and production rates. There were hundreds of rebellions and revolts of enslaved Africans in the New world during the Atlantic Slave Trade; Haiti’s is just one of many. But Haiti’s is the largest, sustained revolt, with the most cultural, political and economic implications for its White, Black/African & African descended people -and- as people living in a “new” world trying to reconcile what it means to live together in a land post-slavery, post-European colonialism. To this day its people are a living testament to how difficult that work of Anti-Black resistance is in a global economy built around the presumption and instance of Black inferiority. The “project” of this revolution is yet unfinished.

Therefore in 2021, anyone studying, protesting, manifesting and politically agitating against our current socio-economic-political structures in America needs to study the Haitian Revolution in as much detail as possible. It is one of the biggest examples of how intricate, dynamic, long-suffering and difficult it is to actually perform “radical change”. During the pandemic I began (re) introducing myself to this subject by reading books, watching documentaries and listening to lectures outlining the layers of narrative involved in what would be come the Haitian Revolution; Macandal, the three “Commissions”, the Tricolor Commission, “Declaration of the Rights of Man”, the determinative links of the French Revolution, “Code Noir”, André Rigoud, British blockades, Spanish regiments, the “Coloureds”, returns to the plantations for Africans only, not “Blacks”(e.g. caste systems), trade embargos, Toussaint, Dessalines, etc....all confirming what was already apparent: change is hard, long and often takes generations.

If you are currently fighting for something, or against it, know that not one person or one act can or will likely “radically” change the reality. A “revolution” is a term not to be used lightly. When we de-romanticize it and “dig” into it we can begin to see more clearly how ugly and non-inevitable it’s results truly are. History tells us so-and we can learn from this history in a way that informs our present-day activism and fight towards justice of any kind, for any person, any ethnicity. Commit yourself and learn from those who have done it before you and recognize that the past will always be relevant to the present in resistance and change. 

Below are some great resources start to learning more on the Haitian Revolution👇🏿:

“Revolutions” (Apple Podcast, a immensely detailed lecture series!) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/revolutions/id703889772?i=1000358493623 PBS, “The Black Messiah: Macandal” https://youtu.be/cHIEYx2_C9Q “Haiti and the Atlantic World Reborn (New York Historical Society)” https://youtu.be/dpbLMkAJFtE “Noam Chomsky, Modern-Historical Political Commentary” https://youtu.be/e1JWr03P9W8 “Haiti Journal, 100th Anniversary of US Occupation” https://youtu.be/pILrdFJ683M

Happy New Year, Happy Haitian Independence Day and most importantly, Happy learning!!! 🤩🥂

[versatilepoetry]

No Permissions

The clouds didn't need even the most capricious of permission whatsoever; to torrentially diffuse intounrelenting thunderbolts of ecstatically golden rain, The rose didn't need even the most infinitesimal of permission whatsoever; to grandiloquently culminate into a fountain of ebullient scent; stupendously mystify every iota of the bedraggled atmosphere, The grass didn't need even the most spurious of permission whatsoever; to euphorically tingle traumatically dreary soles; miraculously metamorphose all swelteringly dolorous into a cistern of rhapsodic freshness, The sheep didn't need even the most mercurial of permission whatsoever; to leave behind a trail of immaculate belonging; profusely inundate the disastrously commercial arena with meadows of glorious innocuousness, The stars didn't need even the most parsimonious of permission whatsoever; to resplendently twinkle all night; timelessly deluge the ghastly curtainspread of sullen darkness; with whirlwinds of optimistic light, The Sun didn't need even the most diminutive of permission whatsoever; to flamboyantly blaze through every quarter of this colossal Universe; ubiquitously disseminate its spell of enchanting optimism to every dwelling besieged with horrendous despair, The mountains didn't need even the most tiniest of permission whatsoever; to compassionately sequester the infirm in their affable belly; tower majestically as harbingers of irrefutable solidarity; for centuries immemorial, The bees didn't need even the most obfuscated of permission whatsoever; to evolve into royal whirlpools of bountiful honey; infiltrate the lugubrious complexion of the dusty afternoon; with melodiously spell binding honey, The waves didn't need even the most insignificant of permission whatsoever; to culminate into tantalizingly reinvigorating froth; unrelentingly ooze a ravishing entrenchment of poignantly heartfelt salt, The nightingale didn't need even the most measly of permission whatsoever; to stupendously titillate each dying nerve of the disdainfully frazzled body; with an ocean of unsurpassably everlasting enchantment, The squirrel didn't need even the most oblivious of permission whatsoever; to frolic impeccably through the mists of untamed desire; uninhibitedly fulminate into an astounding kaleidoscope of vivacious color as it gallivanted through the handsome trees, The leaves didn't need even the most nonchalant of permission whatsoever; to seductively rustle into silken carpets of exuberant breeze; profusely solemnize the complexion of the disastrously decaying air; with reflections of insatiably unending happiness, The hands didn't need even the most insipid of permission whatsoever; to wholeheartedly clap at every blissful occasion of existence; effusively express their jubilant enthrallment to the most unprecedented limits, The waterfalls didn't need even the most non-existent of permission whatsoever; to ingratiatingly placate drearily scorched travelers; bequeath a legacy of sparkling togetherness upon all those murderously pinched by the corpse of bizarre commercialism, The butterflies didn't need even the most evanescent of permission whatsoever; to gorgeously flutter in exotically regale sunshine; manifest into an unfathomable sky of eternal mischief all marathon day, The true martyrs didn't need even the most ethereal of permission whatsoever; to audaciously fight for their sacrosanct motherland; relinquish every iota of their breath for the sake of their beautifully revered country, The rainbows didn't need even the most transient of permission whatsoever; to Omnisciently engulf every withering cranny of this Herculean planet; with fabulous infernos of ardent companionship, The infant didn't need even the most remotest of permission whatsoever; to holistically savor divine milk from the chest of its Godly mother; unleash into a string of Omnipotently incoherent wails; as the Sun disappeared in wholesome entirety from blue sky, And the Heart didn't need even the most microscopic of permission whatsoever; to ecstatically liberate its incomprehensible river of passionate beats; immortally bond them with the soul mate of its existence; perpetually unite them with the entity it solely loved.

[sleyby-blog]

For a while now I've been struggling to figure out how to put the pieces together and present them as a coherent narrative so that maybe someone out there will notice, realize what's happening is real, and recognize the danger I'm in.

Everything is working against me here. My own communication issues, my difficulty in gauging how things sound to other people, the fact that there are people around me actively weaving obfuscation around me, that everything I say and do is interpreted in terms of what people are told to believe about me and how to deal with me. The fact that what's happening is, itself, bizarre, incomprehensible, and incoherent.

People who might have believed me, because they know me, because they're aware that certain kinds of predators exist who pursue people just like me- those people have been removed from my life. Instead I'm surrounded by the ones who know and don't care, who relish how much they can get away with by scapegoating my mental illness, or people who are incapable of seeing me or what's happening to me because someone got to them first and told them what to think of me.

As it is, writing about it is the only defense I have. I have no money or resources to escape, what resources I have are being controlled by the people doing this to me. I imagine they haven't stopped me from using this as a means of asking for help only because they're confident it will make absolutely no difference, and perhaps also because they enjoy hearing about themselves and like seeing me beg for my life.

How do I connect the pieces so someone else can see? I can barely connect them, myself. I keep going over the past, over and over again, trying to understand how I got here. How things got this bad. How I went from blogging to finding myself in a trap devised by a group of psychopathic fanatics who once pretended to be my friends.

Everyone who meets me only sees me in a very small window of time and context. If you see me calmly getting groceries or going to the library, you may ask yourself how I could be going through any of the things I've talked about. The answer is that I have no choice but to more or less try to carry on as normally as possible while I try to figure out what to do.

I'm allowed to leave the apartment, but I get followed everywhere I go. The people who follow me tend to communicate their presence by loudly talking about things they know have personal relevance to me- not at me but around me, for the sake of plausible deniability. Maybe someday one of those people will admit it, so the onus of proving it won't lie solely on my shoulders, considering I'm my only witness, and am considered de facto unreliable as a reporter of my own experiences due to having been bound to the psychiatric system all my life. If no one ever does the best I can do is try to describe it as clearly as possible and hope someone recognizes what I'm talking about.

I can contact my local services but not family or friends. This keeps up the illusion that nothing is wrong while isolating me from anyone who might help me.

I haven't left yet because I have no money and no real idea of where to go or how to get there. I'm still on benefits, I don't get nearly enough to pay for all the things I'd need to move, such as uHaul and plane tickets. I can't afford to live anywhere else because my housing program is local. I've been trying to graduate to Section 8 housing for years.

There's also the cat to think of. He needs dental care, and wherever I go he's bound to need carrying around.

I'm not physically healthy enough to abandon my apartment and go "rough it" on the streets. For the past week alone I've been having heart flutters and extreme weakness, after months of being physically active with no problems.

If you were being stalked by someone who is not working alone, would you be willing to run out into the streets, abandon your apartment, and risk the chance of being murdered in an alley somewhere? I doubt it.

So for now I stay here, I try to plan, I keep hoping there's some option I haven't considered yet, or some combination of words that will make someone spring into action on my behalf.

I am dead serious about what's happening. I have no idea how or in what way the person threatening to murder me plans to act, I just know he's removed all witnesses and kept me from getting help. He also sets up places to lure me out, using things I want or need to manipulate me.

I will explain more about him later. I don't know if it will help but if nothing else I want to leave a record so that if I do die someone will know what happened.

You, whoever you may be, please don't abandon me.