#objem

[boolgee]

A new web site about BULGES, please enjoy. I accept all suggest.

[bloomingbora]

math (and especially stereometry!!!) is so cool and i love how u can just calculate the randomest stuff ♡♡♡

MATHS IS SUPER FUCKING QUEER FUCK THE WHOLE "IM GAY I CANT DO MATHS" BULLSHIT

[pinkflyingtiger]

Vse kar vem in kar znam je da ne boli ko me tvoj objem zakriva

[anielskiekosci2]

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ ogólnie jadę na ten weekend do babci i się mega boję że się objem, stracę swoje postępy itd... Chociaż teraz mogę dopracować swoją samokontrolę! Zrobiłam lekki plan aby ominąć jak najwięcej jedzenia Sobota 1. Śniadanie ominę i ubrudzę naczynia. 2. Obiad już zjem u babci, nałożę sobie normalną porcję tak aby się najeść ale nie do przesady. 3. Kolację zjem wtedy gdy mama mi powie abym zjadła, zrobię sobie sałatkę owocową. ~1000kcal Niedziela 1. Śniadanie będę musiała zjeść, wybiorę jajka i do tego jakieś owoce 2. Obiad zjem mniejszą porcję niż w sobotę i postaram się najmniej kaloryczny wybór 3. Kolacji najprawdopodobniej nie zjem, powiem że źle się czuję ~900kcal Gdy będę chciała jeść pomiędzy posiłkami to będę pić wodę lub herbatę bez cukru. Jak dadzą mi słodycze powiem że dbam o cerę.

[sneg-v-avgustu]

...ko me tvoj objem zakriva

(original video)

[luluxa]

ko me tvoj objem zakriva

[theraggedygirl11]

I found in you what was lost in me

CHAPTER 4 : Love’s the death of peace of mind

TITLE OF THE CHAPTER: The Death of Peace of Mind - Bad Omens

CHAPTER 1 - CHAPTER 3

PAIRING: Jan Peteh/Nace Jordan

WARNINGS: blood drinking, blood and injury, death of a main character (but he'll be back dont worry), implied suicide/suicidal thoughts, deperation (lmao), hurt/comfort, human/vampire relationship, some historical chapters, flashbacks, mostly edited, hint of jankris

WORDS COUNT: 6.020

LINK: AO3

NOTES: It's saturday again, and this means new chapter!

Thanks again for whoever is reading it and also leaving a comment, I really appreciate it <3

So…here we are, it's Eurovision time! I wanted to include this event because I know how draining it can be, and putting vampire!Jan into a stressful environment was a funny idea. But hey, he has both Nace and Kris who are taking care of him!

In this chapter we get to see another memory that basically traumatised Jan to the point that he raised a fortress around him and doesn't want to fulfill his love, like he isn't traumatised enough lmao

So enjoy this next chapter! Loool

PLAYLIST: Youtube - Spotify

Vem, da si bila enkrat že v peklu (I know you've been to hell once)

in da nazaj več ne bi rada šla. (And that you don't want to go back there)

Slišal sem, da hočeš it do konca sveta (I've heard that you want to go to the end of the world)

in da me več ne rabiš za sopotnika. (And that you don't need me as you companion anymore)

Vse kar vem in kar znam, je, da ne boli, (All I know is that it doesn't hurt)

ko me tvoj objem zakriva. (When you embrace me with your arms)

Kaj je prav me ne bremeni, (What is right doesn't burden me)

ker s tabo svet ne izpodriva me. (Because with you the world does not displace me)

Vse Kar Vem - Joker Out

May 2023

Jan is sucking blood from a blood bag. This evening there’s the second semi final of Eurovision 2023 and they will play their song in front of the whole continent of Europe and Australia. He needs a further dose of blood, even if he fed on Kris yesterday. He took a small amount of blood, he didn’t want Kris to get tired.

“We have five minutes, Janči,” Kris tells him while looking at his phone. “The bus has just arrived.”

Jan drinks faster, emptying the whole blood bag, then he hides it in his suitcase. He will get rid of it later.

“I’m ready. Do I have blood on my face?”

Kris looks at him. “Lick your lips,” Jan does it. “Ok, we can go.”

They join the band in the hall of the hotel a couple of minutes later.

“It’s the big day today!” Jure says, excited. “Let’s make Slovenia proud of us! Let’s go to the final!”

Jan exchanges a quick smile with Nace, then the whole band goes on the bus. Every artist on it is nervous, even a normal human can feel it. The chatting bruise is annoying and their fast heartbeats are deafening, so Jan tries to lock out all that noise. He even attempts to breathe less, their scents are intense and soaked in anxiety and anticipation. It is not easy, unfortunately. 

He starts fidgeting with his fingers nervously once he’s sitting as a way to decompress and focus on anything but the bus. A hand grabs his own. He turns and sees Nace sitting by his side.

“Remember? You are not alone on that stage,” Nace smiles tenderly. “I’m with you. And the others too.”

Jan lays his head on Nace’s shoulder and closes his eyes. He focuses on his fast heartbeat, so familiar and so nervous, yet so calming at the same time, and on his scent too. It’s a relief for his heightened vampiric senses. 

Nace’s anxiety slowly decreases. Jan chuckles in his mind. What a weird reaction from Nace's side, he didn't think that their closeness could help both of them relax in such a tense moment. He’d like to get even closer to Nace, plant his face against his neck, breathe in his scent from there, but this simple contact between their hands is all that he allows himself to enjoy, for now.

The bus starts moving once everyone is on board. In a few minutes they will be at the arena. They have been preparing for this in the past months. Joker Out will show to Europe what they are capable of on a stage, their talent and their dedication to music. And hope for the best outcome.

* * *

The presenters are announcing the countries that will go to the grand final. Cameras keep coming to their green room, but no one of them hears the word “Slovenia”. Their hope is slowly being crushed by those false moments of joy.

Jan is sitting between Nace and Kris. The half Dutch continues checking on him, more worried by his friend’s wellbeing than the results of the semifinal. 

“We did good, Janči. And we can get drunk, if we don’t go to the final,” Kris chuckles.

“Oh, absolutely. I need a lot of alcohol.”

In that moment cameras set in front of them. There’s only one place left for the final.

“Grab the flag,” says a man next to the camera. And they do so. This is it? Are they about to announce their country? They all embrace one another, their hearts galloping in their chests.

And then Slovenia is announced as the last finalist. 

The next moments are so rushed and surreal that they feel like a fever dream. They jump on the couch of their green room, shouting and celebrating, happiness radiating from them, then a huge hug and the whole band almost falls on said couch. In seconds they are brought to another room where they draw a piece of paper from a bowl: they will perform in the second half of the grand final. Further screams of pure joy. Before being able to change their clothes, a part of the band is busy with a brief press conference, meanwhile the rest of the group gets interviewed by the Slovenian international broadcast.

Jan is trying so hard to not cry on national television. And to not let the vampire out. He’s stunned. He’s still trying to process what just happened. His head is spinning. Everything is so unreal and unbelievable. Nace is talking on the microphone, focusing all the attention on him, but Jan can’t even hear the words he’s saying. He doesn’t even realise that the interview is over until Nace wraps his shoulders with his arm. He lays his forehead against Nace’s and closes his eyes.

“We did it,” he whispers so only the bassist can hear him.

“We did it, yes, Janči,” he cups his cheek with his hand. 

Now Nace is in Jan’s little bubble.It’s only them, every sound, every scent, every heartbeat, everything else just disappears instantly. Jan lays his hand on Nace’s chest, he feels the beatings and the vibrations of his heart. 

Mate. 

He’s about to kiss his neck, maybe even bite it to mark him so the entire world can see that Nace is his, but a familiar voice breaks that spell and brings him back to reality.

“I’m sorry to interrupt your private moment, but the van is right outside the arena and it’s waiting for us to bring us back to the hotel,” Kris says to them. “Change quickly, they won’t wait for us forever.”

Jan opens his eyes while Kris goes away, leaving them alone. Jan and Nace look each other in the eyes for a bunch of seconds, then they enter their changing room.

* * *

At the hotel the rest of their delegation welcomes them with loud celebrations and so many hugs. Among them there are also their families. Jan recognises Bojan’s father and Kris’ parents, but he notices someone else he knows very well.

“Maj-Vita, Kiki, you are here.” Jan remembers that his two fellow vampires changed their names. He still calls them by their original name, sometimes.

“How could we miss our baby conquering Europe with his music?” Replies Vita before tightly hugging Jan.

“You did good, Jan,” adds Kiki, smiling. “We are proud of you,” he joins the hug.

“We still have the grand final.”

“You’ll get a good result even there, don’t worry,” Kiki replies. 

Kris approaches the three vampires and greets them. Jan told him about Gaspar and Majda too. Jan always introduces them as his dear friends and with their new (and more modern) names, Kris is the only one who knows the truth.

“It’s good to see you two here,” the half Dutch says right before hugging them too. He’s like a son to them.

“You were amazing too, Kris. All of you!” Exclaims Vita, smiling.

“Is Jan behaving properly?” Kiki asks immediately after, a serious expression on his face.

“Yeah, he’s good,” Kris giggles, wrapping Jan’s shoulders with an arm. “He’s a good leech.”

Jan rolls his eyes. “I told you to not call me that. I hate it.”

“You know I just like to piss you off sometimes,” Kris ruffles Jan’s hair.

“You enjoy it a little bit too much, though. I remind you that I bite.”

“Oh, what a threat!” Jokes Kris and makes the three vampires laugh.

Their funny moment gets interrupted by another laugh, Nace’s. Jan turns, his eyes are filled with love when he sees Nace having fun with Martin and Bojan. His laugh is so contagious, he wants to join too for no reason at all.

“You should talk to him, Jan.”

“Majda, it’s ok. I’m fine.”

They don’t celebrate much longer, the band is tired and needs some rest. Jan is the first one to go back to his room, followed by Kiki who gives him a bag with some blood bags directly from the hospital. Jan will need more blood for the grand final. He thanks his friend, then goes to his room and immediately drinks dry one of those bags.

Someone knocks on the door, making Jan startle. “Who’s there?”

“Janči, it’s me, Nace. Are you ok?”

He quickly hides the blood bags in his suitcases, licks his lips and goes to the door to open it.

“Yeah, I’m ok. Why?”

“You usually stay longer when there’s a party, I got worried.”

Their eyes meet. Oh, Nace, you will never change, won’t you?, he thinks. 

“I’m fine, don’t worry. I’m just a little bit tired. The adrenaline rush disappeared.”

“Fair enough. Then, I’ll go to my room. Good night, J-”

“Would you like to stay with me? We can…I don’t know, lie on the bed and just stare at the ceiling together,” he suggests. Weird way to ask for company, maybe Kris infected him with his awkwardness.

Nace giggles. “Ok, I’ll stare at the ceiling with you. Jan.”

And thus, they lie on Jan’s bed, one next to the other, but they don’t stare at the ceiling, they look at each other. And they start talking about anything that comes up in their mind. The main topic of their conversation still remains music, but they also range over nature, food and others, and Jan loves seeing that small spark in Nace’s eyes when he’s passionate about what he’s saying. They truly do look like a couple. 

They keep talking until both of them fall asleep, holding one hand, without even realising it. 

* * *

The next morning Jan wakes up first. He’s embraced by Nace’s scent. He turns his head a bit and sees Nace right behind him, still asleep. They are spooning, Nace’s arms are around his waist and his face is right against his neck, he feels his warm breath tickling on his skin. He looks for other heartbeats in the room, but theirs are the only ones he can hear. Kris’ scent is feeble. He must have slept somewhere else, maybe with Bojan since Nace was sharing his room with the singer.

Jan lays his hand on Nace’s and gently caresses its back with his thumb. It’s weird but also pleasing at the same time being back with his beloved human. 

He chuckles, he really thought he could avoid him, being just simple friends for once. Oh, he was just a fool dreamer.

He’s almost drifting off when Nace’s breath and heartbeat change pace, signalling that he’s waking up. Jan then turns, so he can face the bassist. He finds his face in front of him, still some signs of slumber on his expression. He instinctively smiles.

“Good morning.”

“‘Morning to you, Janči. Did you sleep well?”

“Amazingly. You?” Jan replies while laying a hand on his chest.

“Me too. Your bed feels more comfortable than mine, honestly,” he chuckles, even though Jan perceives a hint of embarrassment in his voice.

Silence falls again in the whole room. They keep staring at each other, their glances go from their eyes to their lips and back. They are so close, very few centimetres divide their lips. Jan moves one hand and slightly touches Nace’s lips with the tip of a finger. 

Jan did this a million times, and yet he’s so shy with him. He’s stalling, hoping that maybe Nace will make the first move and kiss him because he’s afraid of his love not being requited, even if they're meant to be. He doesn’t want to ruin the relationship they have despite it being only a “simple” friendship. 

But Nace seems to have other plans. He gets closer to Jan, their noses are basically touching. Jan’s hand, still on Nace’s chest, allows him to feel his heartbeat getting faster and faster. They are about to kiss, their lips are on the verge of touching, shivers run down Jan’s spine in anticipation, but their moment gets interrupted by the door opening. They recoil, Jan even sits up.

“Oh, you are already awake,” says Kris. “It’s weird for you, Jan. Are you ok?” Kris half closes his eyes, suspicious. “Did I interrupt something?”

“No!” Jan replies before Kris could finish his sentence. 

“Yes,” says Nace at the same time.

Jan hems. “No, we were about to stand up and Nace to go back to his room,” he corrects the bassist, quickly glancing at him.

The bassist glances back, then sighs and nods. “Yeah, Jan is…right. See you…later, then.”

Nace stands up and quickly reaches the door. Before leaving the room and closing the door behind him, he glances at Jan.

“Be honest, you were about to kiss,” Kris asks as soon as the door is closed and Nace is no more in the room.

“You saved me from a mistake.” 

Kris sighs, then sits next to him. “He’s clearly into you, Janči. You should really talk to him about this situation. Why don’t you allow yourself to just…be happy with him?”

“Because I’m tired of losing him, Kris,” he looks him in the eyes. “Yes, I do love him, and yes, I do want him, but you won’t understand. Last time we met, he-” 

Jan closes his eyes, his voice stutters. In his mind that memory comes back with so much violence and it feels like a dagger right through his heart.

North-East Italy (Kobarid/Caporetto), October-November 1917

You're the cause

The antidote

The sinking ship that I could not let go

You led my way, then disappeared

How could you just walk away and leave me here

Light the night up, you're my dark star

And now you're falling away

Dark On Me - Starset

Jan and Ignac were forced to join the army to fight, they didn’t even know the reason till this day. The only thing they did know was that the other option they had when they were drafted was a quick execution, a bullet right in the head. Jan accepted just to protect his human. 

The attack began two days before. They were quickly conquering Italian land, kilometre after kilometre, pushing the enemy towards another river and leaving their homeland Slovenia behind their backs.

Jan stayed near Ignac, keeping an eye on him. Always.

That day they were on the front line, exposed to every shot the enemy might throw at them. It was dawn, today’s attack began when it was still dark. They were advancing on the ground, they ran fast with their rifles in their hands.

This wasn’t their first assault. They both knew that their regiments would be halved by the end of the attack. Ignac prayed to come back home safe, Jan prayed with him. Even during this assault.

Suddenly, a mine exploded in front of them. Jan, thanks to his vampiric reflexes, managed to cover himself. He thought he covered Ignac too, but an intense smell of familiar blood caught his attention.

He opened his eyes wide and turned. Ignac was gasping for air, one hand was on his neck. He was on the ground.

“No, no, no! Ignac, no!”

He kneeled next to him, threw away his rifle and touched his neck. His hand got immediately soaked in blood. His first instinct was to bring his wrist to his mouth to bite it and give him his blood to heal, but he stopped mid-air. He was in the middle of an assault, he was surrounded by other soldiers, other humans. He couldn’t give Ignac his blood to heal him, to save him. If someone saw him, he would be dead, and Ignac with him.

“J-Ja-”

“No, no, don’t talk,” he whispered. “I’m with you, Ignac,” he grabbed his other hand and intertwined their fingers. “I’m here, relax.”

He was bleeding fast. A shard cut his throat, for sure. Ignac clenched Jan’s hand, but his grasp was getting weaker pretty fast. Jan leaned down and wrapped Ignac with his arms, then planted his face against his bleeding neck and kissed it.

“I’m so sorry, I couldn’t protect you. I’m sorry, Ignac, I’m so, so, so sorry,” his voice trembled, he was crying. With one hand he caressed his hair while rocking him.

Jan managed to say a feeble “I love you, Ignac” right when his heart stopped beating. His body lost all strength, but Jan kept him tight against his chest. He was a sinking ship, but Jan couldn’t let it go. He’d prefer to sink with him and die.

He was gone, again. His star just got dark for the umpteenth time. He was used to this, so why was he so desperate this time? Why was he crying so much? Why did he shout to the sky out of anger and frustration and despair? 

How many more pieces could his heart afford to lose? 

“Last time we met, he died in my arms,” Jan looks Kris in the eyes. He’s back in the present days. “I held him in my arms, bleeding, listening to his heart beating slower and slower until it stopped. It was during the first world war, in the trenches. I could not save him without revealing my true nature, so I just held him while he was dying, terrified. I held him while shots and cannons and machine guns were firing, deafening me.”

Jan stops talking while tears start running down his cheeks until they die in his beard. He takes deep breaths.

“I saw him die over and over again. I’m used to losing him, but…his last death, the place we were, what we were facing-after his death I buried him and then I ran away, disappearing in the woods. I was a deserter, a traitor of my army and my homeland. His death scarred me in a way I couldn’t think possible. I love him, but I can't, Kris.”

“You keep getting stuck at this point, Jan. Anything won't change unless it's you the one who makes something change. You know the whole situation, you are the only one who can do something.”

“I fucking know, Kris!” He shouts. “For fuck's sake, I know! I'm stuck because Ignac doesn't want to become like me! And I'm not the monster who turned me without my consent. If he doesn't want to, then I can't do anything.”

“Then you'll be stuck forever in this limbo. And you'll continue suffering, doomed to repeat everything.”

“I know, Kris. Believe me, I know,” Jan's voice is tired. “I want to stop all of this, but my hands are tied. Some entity makes us meet over and over again and I can’t escape from it. I simply gave up. I welcome whatever happens and then move on, or at least I try to. And I try to not make mistakes which will make me suffer even more, like that almost kiss.”

Jan shakes his head, then stands up and goes directly to the door. “I go out for a walk. Call me if you need me,” he announces before opening the door. 

He starts roaming Liverpool ignoring where he’s going. He just needs some time alone to think, or to clear his messy mind. Unexpectedly, he finds himself in a park. Very few people are there. Understandably, people have jobs to attend to. 

He sits on a bench and silently starts observing the humans that are in the park. There’s a grandad with two grandchildren, two small boys who are showing him rocks that they found on the ground. The grandad smiles and congrats them for every rock and they smile back, proud of their work. There’s a young girl who is running while listening to music, Jan wonders what she’s listening to. There’s another lady who is taking her dog for a walk, a wonderful and joyful golden retriever. He smiles, he thinks of Bojan, the band usually describes him as that kind of dog thanks to his extrovert personality. 

The hearts of these human beings beat, they all have different ages, different hobbies, different aspirations and different lives. He wonders if the older ones have ever experienced a love so strong like the one he feels for Nace, if they have ever suffered from that same love or if they had been lucky enough to have good relationships and good partners. 

Jan tucks his hand in his trousers pocket and grabs a necklace he always has with him. It has a cameo pendant, a white cat on a black background framed by a silver mount. Ignac gave it to him the third time they met, somewhen during the 15th century. “You remind me of a cat,” he said that day. Yeah, Jan always had a cat-like behaviour. He brings the necklace to his chest and closes his eyes. Kris is right, he’s stuck in this endless loop, but what can he really do to improve his situation? Nace is his mate, he’s drawn to him even if he tries to escape from him, that almost kiss showed it. 

“Missing someone?”

A female voice wakes him from his thoughts. He raises his head and sees an old lady in front of him. She’s new in that park, he doesn’t recognise her.

“You are clenching that necklace like you’ll die if you let it go, so I suppose you are missing the person who gave it to you.”

“Y-Yes, I do. Kinda.”

“If this person isn’t dead, I suggest you go to them and spend as much time as you can with them,” she smiles. “Listen to an old lady, regrets are no good when you're old.”

“But being with him will bring me pain, in the end.”

“Oh, a boy?” She giggles. “Listen, the pain of not being with your beloved prince will be greater,” she says while sitting next to him. “If he gave you this necklace, you mean something to him. And if you miss him this much, you love him. Being parted does no good to two lovers.”

“I’m afraid of suffering because of our love.”

“Pain and sorrow are just part of the human experience. The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and… bad things. The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant(1). I’d pay whatever amount of money to be with my husband again, who unfortunately died last year, but I can’t, so I just think about our moments spent together, the laughs we had, the travels, the adventures, but also the bad moments when we were there for each other.”

“What if…the amount of painful moments is bigger than the amount of happy moments? What if I just want to…not go on with our relationship because it’s too painful?”

“Then you have two choices: you can try to rethink your relationship and create happier moments with him from now on and just seize the day with him, simply say ‘fuck off’ to the bad moments, or just leave him, if you can’t stand the pain. If you chose the second option, please talk to him and explain your decision. That said, if he deserves it. I just hope he’s not abusing you.”

“Oh, no, no!” Jan replies quickly. “He’s the most handsome and charming and…wonderful man I’ve ever met in my life. His smile brightens up a whole room, his laugh makes my heart explode with joy and-” he stops because his voice started trembling with emotions. “I love him so, so much, from the first moment our eyes caught one another, years ago. But our relationship has been a continuous on and off, like waves on a shore. And the moments without him are the worst.”

“Oh, I get it,” the old lady nods. “You two are that kind of people, where the passion is so strong and violent that you need to take some time for yourselves.”

“Kind of,” Jan sighs. Well, at least it is this way for him. Vampires love with so much depth and intensity.

“Try to find a balance between you two. The way you talk about him…I bet your prince is your soulmate. Don’t lose him,” she turns and looks him in the eyes. “It’s rare to see two people loving each other so much like you two. Don’t waste your chance. Talk to him, find common ground and you’ll be both happy. Don’t let your prince walk away for good.”

“I-I’ll talk to him. Or I'll try to.”

“You are a good boy,” she smiles than stands up. “Good luck, I root for you and your prince. And please, remember to smile. You have such a sweet smile!”

Jan chuckles then nods. “Thanks for the chat. Have a nice day.”

“You too, young man.”

* * *

Jan is improvising some riffs on his guitar while Jure is testing his drums. They have a gig that evening and they are doing their soundcheck.

“You look better, Janči. That walk really helped you,” Kris is next to him.

Jan stops playing. “Yeah. Let’s say it helped me clear my mind. And I’m sorry for shouting at you, before.”

“Don’t worry. It’s fine, you were right in the end. I just want you to be happy, that’s it. Seeing you like this…it’s not easy.”

Jan smiles. “Thanks, Kris. I’m glad to have you as my friend.”

“Ajde, fantje,” Bojan calls them. 

Everyone takes his position and the soundcheck begins. They manage to play a couple of songs. Jan smiled more than usual, and the whole band noticed it, so they address it once they are in the backstage.

“Someone is happy thanks to yesterday's result, eh?” Jure giggles while looking at Jan.

“Well, it’s an amazing result! Why shouldn’t he be happy?” Bojan joins the conversation while wrapping Jan’s shoulders with his arm.

“It’s just sad that we didn’t get to celebrate in a proper way,” replies Jan. His cheeks are a little reddish.

The vampire feels Nace’s eyes on him, so he turns and finds him smiling at him. He smiles back, maybe a little too fondly.

No one of them spoke a single word about their almost kiss, so Jan decides to not break this silent deal between them. He wants to follow the suggestion he was given by that old lady, to just appreciate the moments he can share with him, to seize the day and enjoy whatever Fate and the future will offer to him and Nace. Or at least he'll try to, the fear of losing him and opening up his heart is still there. It will take some time, for sure.

* * *

Unfortunately, Slovenia doesn’t win Eurovision. They still have a lot of fun performing and partying with the other artists during the event and after it. The whole band runs to Käärijä to cheer him up, they wanted him to be the winner so badly. Bojan even goes with him to his hotel to spend one last night with his dear friend. None of them knows when they will meet again, or if, so they want to make the most out of the little time they still have.

The rest of the band is going back to their hotel, when Jan catches a weird note in Nace’s scent. He looks weird, too.

“Is everything ok?” He asks him, worried.

Nace turns. “Yeah, I think so. I’m just tired. You know what happens when adrenaline declines,” he chuckles. “I just need some sleep.”

They enter the hotel. In a few minutes they are in front of their rooms. Jure and Kris go immediately in, leaving Jan and Nace in the corridor. 

“So…good night, then, Janči,” Nace says while smiling at Jan.

“Good night, Nacko,” Jan smiles back, then joins Kris in their shared room, still with that fond smile on his lips.

He feels again like a teenager when his crush just noticed him and greeted him with a hand. 

“Did you and Nace kiss?”

Kris brings him back to reality. “No, why?” He replies.

“You are basically shining like a diamond and I can bet I saw small hearts radiating from you.”

Jan chuckles. “No, like…he smiled at me, nothing new,” he explains while blushing and lowering his gaze, embarrassed.

Kris throws him his pyjamas and he grabs it. “Come on, smitten vampire, we have an early flight tomorrow morning, go to sleep.”

“Party pooper.”

“No, I’m just trying to keep you on planet Earth. Your mind already roams freely in his own world without being affected by Nace.”

“Still, you are a party pooper.”

Jan takes a quick shower, then grabs a couple of blood bags to drink before going to sleep. Kris is lying on his bed while watching Jan feeding.

“Do types of blood taste different to you? I’ve always wanted to ask you this.”

“Kind of? I can’t recognise them, though, because its taste changes based on so much stuff. This one is A positive and this other one is AB positive, they taste different like two chocolate bars can taste differently.”

“So you don’t have a favourite blood type.”

Jan shakes his head. “We base our preferences on people. I like your blood, for instance. I’d like to taste Bojan’s because he smells amazing, and…ok, don’t look at me in a bad way, but…Žare smells better than Bojan. It’s so hard for me to have him around.”

“Žare, seriously? Our producer?” Kris chuckles.

“Yeah, Žare. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. It’s just…I didn’t think of him being your favourite snack.”

Jan throws one of his pillows at him, hitting him in the face. Kris bursts out laughing.

“I knew I shouldn’t have told you anything at all!” 

Kris continues laughing, so Jan stands up from his bed, puts the empty blood bags in his suitcase and goes on top of him, grabbing his wrists and blocking them on the sides of his head. He straddles his lap. Kris stops laughing immediately and blushes. It’s not the first time that Jan behaves like this with Kris, but the half Dutch can’t really get used to it. His heart is galloping in his chest. Jan in the end is still a vampire, a predator.

Jan chuckles. “I adore how it’s so easy to make you stop laughing.”

“It’s not fair, you use your vampiric charm. I have nothing to fight you!”

Jan lays down right next to him and frees his wrists. “You know I will never harm you, Krisko,” he kisses his shoulder. “You are my friend, and part of my nest.”

Kris runs his hand through Jan’s hair. “Yeah, I know, Janči,” Kris sighs. “It’s also because of your attractiveness. You know you are a sexy vampire.”

“I’m just an average vampire,” he replies, giggling. He then asks him something. “May I sleep with you tonight? I just need someone by my side tonight.”

“Fine, grown-up kid,” Kris teases him.

“Thanks, Krisko,” he replies, then hides his face against his neck just to inhale his scent. He even kisses his neck, gently, making Kris shiver. A simple act of love for a vampire, and also trust from the human side because he’s a predator and could kill him without thinking twice. Kris is used to this and isn’t afraid anymore. They cuddle until they both drift off.

* * *

“Kris, Jan, wake up.”

Jan opens his eyes slightly and turns his head. “Ignac?” That’s his scent. And his voice is weirdly harsh. He hears his heart skipping a beat.

“Wake up. We have our shuttle to the airport in an hour.”

Why is Ignac’s voice even harsher now? He doesn’t understand. And why is his scent different?

“Don’t make me call Bojan to wake you all up.”

“I’m awake!” Exclaims Kris who grunts right after. “Don’t make him come here, please. I don’t want my day ruined.”

“Good. We meet in the hall in an hour, then,” and Ignac goes away while coughing, closing the door of the room with a little bit too much strength.

“Why was Ignac here?” Jan turns to Kris.

“Nace,” he corrects him. “I gave him our spare key because he usually wakes up before us all. I don’t want to miss the flight.”

“Fair enough,” Jan smells the air again. “Nace's scent is weird.”

“What do you mean?”

“It's weird, not like his usual. It was the same last night.”

“We'll check on him later, we have our luggage to prepare…ugh, I just want to go back to sleep.” 

Jan kisses Kris' neck, then stands up, followed by the half Dutch, who keeps whining. “Ugh, my back. You slept on me and I couldn’t change position.”

Jan chuckles. “You’ll have plenty of time to rest once we are back in Slovenia,” he kisses his cheek, then starts preparing his luggage and himself.

In less than forty minutes the whole band is in the hall of their hotel. Well, almost the whole band. Bojan is still missing.

“I took care of his luggage,” says Jure. “And I tried to call him, but his phone seems dead.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, he’s still with Käärijä, isn’t he?” huffs Kris. “He will miss the shuttle and then the plane, I’m sure of it.”

“Does anyone know in which hotel Käärijä lodges?” Asks Jure and nobody answers.

Jan in the meantime is silently observing Nace, who is sitting on a couch. He seems off, so he gets closer and sits right next to him.

“Is everything ok?”

Nace shakes his head. “I feel awful. I might have caught something,” and coughs.

Jan lays a hand on his forehead. It’s burning. “Yeah, you got a fever.”

Jan takes off his fur coat and hands it to Nace. “It’s warmer than yours.”

“But what will you wear if-”

“I’ll take yours. Low temperatures don’t scare me. And you need more warmth than me right now.”

Nace accepts the offers, so he takes off his coat and gives it to Jan, then wears his fur coat.

“Ok, you are right, it’s warmer.”

Jan chuckles, then puts on Nace’s coat. He’s immediately wrapped by his scent and for a second his head spins. It’s so intense, even if it’s slightly different from the usual because of his sickness.

In the end, the band and the Slovenian delegation leave the hotel without Bojan. They tried to contact him, but in vain. They can’t delay their departure for him.

On the plane back to their country, Nace and Jan sit one next to the other. Jan grabs Nace’s hand, meanwhile the bassist lays his head on the guitarist’s shoulder and sleeps during the whole flight. Sometimes Jan cuddles Nace, especially in those moments when he seems to be having bad dreams because of the fever.

Once they land, Jan volunteers to bring Nace back to Kranj, since he went to the airport with his own car. Nace insists on going back on his own, but the fever is now really strong. Jan doesn’t change his mind. He doesn't want Nace to end up in a car accident because he's stubborn. Thus, Jan is driving Nace home. In the car there's silence.

“Thanks, Janči,” the bassist whispers. “I just feel bad because you can't go home directly.”

“Don't worry. You are more important right now. I have plenty of time till the next gig to rest in my bed.”

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

(1) - quote from Doctor Who, S5EP10, "Vincent and the Doctor"

[dawkacynizmu]

niedziela 20.10

۶ৎ podsumowanie dnia

zjedzone — biiiinge

ja naprawdę już nie wiem co się ze mną dzieje ani czemu muszę obżerać się dosłownie co drugi dzień. wpierdalaniem środki na przeczyszczenie żeby się tego ze mnie pozbyć i myślę "o boze jaka ulga, już nigdy się nie objem to tak okropne uczucie" i na drugi dzień to samo. wróciłam znowu do ciągów napadowych gdzie objadam się po 2-3 dni i nie muszę chyba mówić jak mój stan psychiczny (i fizyczny!) wtedy wygląda.

w ten weekend nie zrobiłam praktycznie niczego a miałam tak dużo nauki. jak o 16 dopiero wstałam z łóżka i spojrzałam na to ile mam do ogarnięcia i jak bardzo nie mam na to siły to się w końcu popłakałam tak bardzo że do teraz mam spuchnięta twarz. tabletki które wzięłam rano w ogóle nie zadziałały więc brzuch mnie niesamowicie boli i to całe jedzenie wciąż jest we mnie.

o 18 złapał mnie dopiero przypływ motywacji, pomyślałam że poczuję się lepiej jak ruszę dupe więc poszłam pograbic liście (ale tylko pół godziny bo nie mogłam z bólu brzucha). jak wróciłam chciałam coś zjeść, miałam głupie myśli typu "no zjedz coś, przecież mówią aby po napadzie jeść normalnie zamiast się głodzić" ty tępa dziwko jakie kurwa głodzić 💀💀💀 to że nie zjesz trzech tustych tostów nie znaczy że się głodzisz, co najwyżej jabłko sobie możesz wziąć. i nie wzięłam bo szok, okazało się że nie jestem głodna.

muszę jakoś to przerwać. myślę nad tym jak latem wytrzymałam 6 tygodni bez napadów i takie mi się to wydaje abstrakcyjne. chciałabym wrócić do miłych weekendów spędzonych na spacerach zamiast na płakaniu z bólu brzucha lub siedzeniu na kiblu ale. nie. umiem. nie umiem przestać.

w ogóle to dowiedziałam się dziś że jestem szopem

[jerevision]

This is my contribution to the first anniversary edition of "Ko me tvoj objem zakriva (When I'm in your arms)" by the amazing @vkvverseblog ! Honoured to have formed part of such an amazing project <3

[leopardom]

vse kar vem in kar znam, je, da ne boli, ko me tvoj objem zakriva kaj je prav me ne bremeni

[targarrus]

not a day goes by when im not thinking about Ko me tvoj objem zakriva (When I'm in your arms)

[sparkles-oflight]

Vse Kar Vem

"Vse kar vem in kar znam, je, da ne boli, ko me tvoj objem zakriva. Kaj je prav me ne bremeni, ker s tabo svet ne izpodriva me."

Synopsis: It's one of the last nights of JO in Slovenia before moving to London and Bojan is in the midst of an anxiety attack with a recently awakened Kris by his side.

(Originally this was going to be in London, but then Maks dropped the "oh yeah, they are living together" confirmation bomb)

Disclaimer: Please think of these as characters and not the actual people. I don’t encourage anyone to send this to any of the actual JO members nor do I encourage people to force any type of relationship between anyone.

Sensible topics: Homophobia

- You aren’t asleep. – Kris reached for Bojan’s hand which was on his heart.

- Uh? – Bojan looked at the guy next to him who was opening his eyes slowly – Oh sorry...Did I wake you up? I’ll be quiet.

- That’s not necessary. – He yawned, which Bojan found adorable – I’ve been awake for a while. I saw you scrolling...

- Sorry, I was trying to get distracted.

- You should really try to sleep though.

- I will, don’t worry.

Kris tried to close his eyes again... but his hand made him realize Bojan’s heartrate was skyrocketing.

- Wanna talk about it? – he finally opened his eyes.

- No, no, go back to sleep.

- Do you want me to turn on the lights? – he rubbed his eyes.

- No, no...

- What do you need?

- I just...

Bojan stopped for a moment to hear his heartbeat... It wasn’t good. His hands were numb and so was the area around his mouth... He was in pain. He felt like dying.

- Could you please distract me?

Kris looked around.

- Okay, what’s 5 things you can-

- No, I’ve already done all of that. I can spot the light of the phone, the light of the television, your ass, the light of the alarm clock, and the sheets.

- What was that?

- I need something different. – he avoided that conversation – Tell me about your day.

- Bojan, we spent the day together.

- Recap it for me.

- Aaah. – Kris sighed.

He decided to change his position to face the ceiling as Bojan was doing.

- It all started during the morning-

- Kris, you and I both know that you wake up at 13 because you hate mornings.

- I woke up at 13, the perfect time for a... – he tried to find the word. It wasn’t a lunch or breakfast it was a...

- A brunch.

- Exactly. – he smiled – I washed the dishes from last night since your lazy ass couldn’t do it.

- Hey! Don’t call me lazy. – he pointed with his finger – I was busy going for an early morning jog.

- 10 in the mourning is not “early morning”.

- I hate mornings. – that made Kris smile a bit – Besides, I took the trash out!

- Our shores distribution is imbalanced.

Kris looked at Bojan for a while before proceeding.

- I made us a quiche with stuff I found lying around and updated our grocery list.

- It was delicious, though you ate the most part.

- I made it, I eat what I want. – Bojan gripped Kris’ hand that was trying to find his – After a shower, we went to the studio...to revise some stuff before moving to London.

- I took my nap at 17.

- I would know that. I took a picture of you drooling.

- What!? Tell me more about it.

- Tell me more about you watching my ass.

- Fair enough. – he shut up.

- Then we decided to have dinner together, the five of us, in Ljubljana one last time before departure.

- I can’t believe we are moving to London!

- I can’t believe you won’t let me finish a story.

Kris decided to lay sideways, to face Bojan properly who did the same.

- We went out to party, to drink, to smoke... – he looked at Bojan who pushed his hair away from his face – To look at people under the neon lights.

If the lights were on, Bojan would have seen Kris blush. He didn’t need to, though. The light coming from the television was just enough to make out his silhouette in the dark. He could piece together on his own how Kris’ face looked.

- Did anyone catch your attention in particular?

- A brunette.

- Oh, really?

- Beautiful singer, actually.

- Tell me more about it.

- They also have big brown eyes.

- Any cons?

- A bit annoying...

- Ah, that can be hard to handle.

- I don’t think that person is any singer honestly.

- Why is that? – Bojan smiled.

- They are *my* singer.

Bojan couldn’t help but smile from one ear to another.

- Can I snuggle with you? – Bojan asked but he was already scooting closer to Kris.

- You are unbelievable... – Kris enveloped Bojan in his arms – You are cold.

- Yeah, I little bit.

After a while of hugging each other - Bojan smelling Kris’ clothes, Kris petting his hair - the smaller one decided to break the silence.

- Do you think London is going to be this cold?

- Of course, not. It’s colder.

- That’s not what I meant. – Bojan decided to dig his face out of Kris’ sweater – Are the people going to be this cold?

- I don’t think I understand what you are talking about. Are you implying that-

- No, I love my country and its people. That’s not what I mean. – Bojan sighed – You know this? Is this going to be better?

Kris was way too tired to understand fully what he was talking about.

- Be more specific.

- Kris, we are living together, sharing a bed, and hugging each other in the middle of the night.

- And?

- Kris, we are guys.

Then a light bulb hit Kris. Sometimes even he forgets that’s not considered “normal” for countries in the Balkans. Hell, in most countries around the world.

- I forgot.

- You forgot!? – Bojan was wondering what exactly he forgot, and how?

- I don’t know if London is going to be better. Maybe not.

- Kris, you are supposed to say, “It’s going to get better”.

- But why would I lie?

- You are bad at this “reassuring” thing.

- Well.... – he hugged Bojan tighter, back into his sweater – I can’t guarantee that is going to get better. But I can at least guarantee you I’ll be there to hug you.

Bojan really really wanted to see Kris’ face. Sometimes Kris just says stuff so bluntly and he finds it so adorable. He loves teasing Kris over it. He loves to see him being so sincere. He loves when Kris just says...stuff. He loves-

His pain was gone... He hadn’t even realized it.

Because all he knows is that he doesn’t feel pain in Kris’ arms... Because is not worried about what is right, because with him the world is not displacing him.

- Can I get a good night kiss?

- No.

♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩

No, I didn't have this idea last night when I was feeling cold, shut up.

Polaroid Photos Universe | Recommended next: Official Visualizer

[moonlvster]

it's different because i love you

bolje gubim no što ljubim (i'm better at losing than loving)

two sketches of two scenes from ko me tvoj objem zakriva :) pleease read this fic it's genuinely life changing

[naapurinheluna]

appreciation post for

ko me tvoj objem zakriva (when i’m in your arms) by anonymous

the night shift by beeoftheanxieties

sanje so tvojega okusa by juliabaggins

(they’re all on ao3 xx)

[sienblog]

Učení o Výrobce Fotovoltaiky

Před nástupu maloobchodní společníka, popsat vlastní podnikání požadavky a cíle. Začátek po vzhledem k tvé určena trhu. Porozumění objem a druhy solární energie systémy zvážit nastavení může průvodce k nejlepší dodavatel fotovoltaiky. kromě toho, rozvoj konkrétní cílů mohou snadno informovat poskytovatel výběru.

[dawkacynizmu]

marzec 1-7

nie ominęłam ani godziny w szkole i widziałam to spojrzenie wychowawczyni która mnie mocno nie lubi ale nie miała pretekstu aby się przypierdolić 😈 i tak jakiś znalazłam

mocno społeczny tydzień choć trochę monotoniczny (zresztą całe moje życie jest wiec spoko). srałam wybitnie regularnie jak na moje standardy nie żartuję 🫶🏼 a wiecie że u mnie był z tym kiedyś ogromny problem. mam wrażenie że najgorszej na mnie działa objadanie się, bo nawet jak jem za mało to te jelita jakoś działają ale jak polecę i się objem to blokada na pół tygodnia. wiec jak widać na zdjęciu ^^ sporo razy zkadłam za dużo jak na standardy jakich chciałabym się trzymać.

przede wszystkim chce jeść tak aby nie myśleć o jedzeniu bez przerwy bo halo nie na tym to polega, jesz aby żyć nie żyjesz aby jeść

przerzucam się na tygodniowy tryb podsumowań bo zresztą nawet nie mam czasu i chęci aby postować codziennie, nie widzę również w tym sensu jakby to miały być tylko liczby bez żadnego dopisku, tak to po całym tygodniu chociaż mam coś do powiedzenia.