#ok need to stop projecting
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I keep seeing edits of Luke being their mother’s favorite and now I can’t stop imagining / hyper fixating on Jace just being a depressed fuck.
Everyone seems to think he’s well adjusted, oh he’s doing his duty as heir, very good at shutting down idiots at the small council, debating with his uncle about future plans and whatnot, the commoners absolutely love him! And don’t forget how devoted he is to his family! Everyone can see he’s making time for his little siblings, making sure they’re alright, that they’re well and loved and cared for. The perfect heir indeed!
But then if you look closely at his eyes all you see is a LACK of will to live. He just smiles so disarmingly, so very dutiful and charismatic, so loving to his family, and yet all he can think about is when the pain will stop.
#hotd#am I projecting as the eldest child?#yes#but also I saw some shots where that boy is dead inside#and now I’ve never known peace#jacaerys velaryon#jacaerys targaryen#house of the dragon#I keep editing cause I’m having so much FEELS#ok need to stop projecting
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the narcissist fools himself
#IM GETTING A BAD GRADE IN POLYSHO WEEK WHICH IS NORMAL TO FEAR AND POSSIBLE TO ACHIEVE.#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#proseka#polysho#polysho week 2024#tsukasa tenma#emu otori#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#domt scroll dowm to when i pisted the sketch a year ago actually. should i delete that#Nah who give a fuck#They dont need to know that i drew this over a year ago and touched it up c all of my other drawings for this theme sre too ambitious#I cant draw a fucking merrygoround. Who am i kidding.#I posted this now so i can stop adding minute gradient maps to it for a 0.2 percent color difference. must sleep. farewell.#more polysho week to come. the day 5 prompt.. well. heh#also FUCK i want to do day 4 too bc i love the yokai theme but thats Today and i AAAAAHG ok stop itz GOONIGHT.#funny drawing for the guy that turned romeo and juliet into fortnite. stop crying and hop on duos
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touhouvania designs are such eye candy
#yuyuko saigyouji#marisa kirisame#touhou#touhouvania#koumajou densetsu#東方project#my art#OK I need to stop drawing#i need to study and work on my dissertation arghh
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NGERN ANUPART LUANGSODSAI AS ARTHIT IN FOUREVER YOU เพราะรักนำทาง (2024)
#fourever you#fourever you the series#fourever you project#ngern anupart#rinblr#userrlana#userlinnea#forfive#esmetracks#clairedaring#meg?? you need a tracking tag my love :)#zeystuff#gif: fyp#here I am. again. with my ngern brainrot. what else.#also putting him in the wet men collection#I just wanted to let it go from my drafts finally. because between all those posts I need to reblog and saved for future purposes.#and when I first posted it was a week ago when the tags were broken. and when they finally worked again I didn't wanna post so.#also can we appreciate his beautiful side profile in the fourth one!!#I'll stop. ok bye.#I should change my url to ngerns or ngernbrainrot or smth ngern related
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Yk when your tired and then you go honk shooooo @zondel
#made lens head way to big… oh well#also didn’t get to shade#but then again oh well#they goin honk mimimimimi#I need to do that#almost 3 am#among us evil potion is gonna get me#have not completed German project nor ap seminar essay but fuck it we ball#awww they eepy#the eepers....#oh to be Wof dragon#but like not the bad ones#or the ones that die#need to complete German project… but too eepy#atleast it’s snowing rn#supposed to get 2 inches tonight which is nice#ok gotta stop ranting in the tags#more sleep deprived I am the more the yap grows#ok actually tag time#pjsk#wof#wings of fire#wof art#project sekai#watercolor#artists on tumblr#wof rainwing#rainwing#traditional art#ok time to go to sleep
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HOW COULD I FORGET ABOUT MY WIFE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

SHE'S SO CUTE OMG 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I LOVE YOU KOHANE 😭😭😭😭

AN YOU'RE SO LUCKY OMG LOOK AT HER

SHE'S SO HAPPY

UEE😭🥺💧EU💧💧E E 😭😭E EUE🥺🥺😭UUUUE😭🥺💧🥺😭ue💧ee😭🥺💧ue🥺e e e😭. e 💧🥺😭Uueuuue. 💧💧ue😭🥺ee e🥺🥺😭eYEEE💧🥺💧EEE💧💧🥺U E🥺😭EE G💧🥺😭E EYU💧🥺😭UUEHH🥺💧😭EUEH💧🥺😭💧💧ue e😭😭eeeeee💧💧💧uu🥺😭hh😭🥺uUEEE🥺😭💧




#project sekai#hatsune miku colorful stage#pjsk#prsk#kohane azusawa#pjsk kohane#azusawa kohane#pjsk vbs#vbs kohane#vbs#KOHANEEEEEEEE#I LOVE YOU#MY WIFE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#(I'm An/j)#😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#UEE😭🥺💧EU💧💧E E 😭😭E EUE🥺🥺😭UUUUE😭🥺💧🥺😭ue💧ee😭🥺💧ue🥺e e e😭. e 💧🥺😭Uueuuue. 💧💧ue😭🥺ee e🥺🥺😭eYEEE💧🥺💧EEE💧💧🥺U E🥺😭EE#SHE'S SO UNDERRATED#I LOVE U KOHANEEEE#I WISH YOU WERE REAL#ok I'm to much delusional#I need to stop#<- I won't :3#event with my 2 fav prsk characters no way#ily kohane#vivid bad squad#i love this set#kohane haters dni#if you hate kohane i hate you#if you think she's a pick me i hate you#if you hate prsk character (except some npcs of course) i hate you
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09.07.24
hello, you have reached the point in which the queue point has passed the date of ii16 coming out. now you will have to listen to me lose my mind and experience the stages of grief in the tags.
alt ver. ↓
#UAUUAUUAUEUUHGHGHHGHHAHEUUAHUGHUUEUHGUAHG#WHAT THE FUCKKKK#im coming for your house brian#brian you are not safe#what the FUCK#im going to kill animation epic and then myself#OUOUUGHHHHH#what do you mean guys fan is a very real character inside of the show who is normal like every other object show character guys#trust!!!!!!#(im delusional)#ii fan#fan ii#inanimate insanity#art#off topic-ish but do you guys think fan knows#like he glitched the fuck out when getting abducted. does he know#i mean i wouldnt be surprised. of all people hes definitely up there for ‘mightve already known’#his anxiety made him question reality and then he glitched out and was like. “oh. im not real am i”#“haha idgaf anyway”#ive been thinking about how he mightve known lately. it just makes sense to me i cant explain why. maybe im projecting#but like it makes sense he wouldnt talk about it cause its like. idk how to explain it but you get it right#ok i need to stop rambling#time to go back to grieving over this episode#cant wait for the next one. /s
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when I tell you I would commit federal crimes for Michiru's backstory from her pov....
#girl got psychic powers and super powers and the ability to transform into a cosmic super soldier with absolutely no help from a talking cat#and then got visions of the apocalypse coming to get everyone and the universe was like 'you fix this'#and the whole time she was having a seemingly unrelated crush on a girl from another school but keeping her distance for everyone's sake#then she finds out that her gay crush is actually someone she's destined to be with#but for that to happen she also has to go and uproot Haruka's entire life and make her give up everything she's ever dreamed of#but also if she DOESN'T do that the world is gonna end#and so she starts projecting into Haruka's dreams because she has to do SOMETHING#and she tries to meet with Haruka and confront her because 1) she does genuinely want to be with Haruka#but also 2) the world will literally end if they don't stop it#but even as Haruka is like about to gain the ability to transform and awaken she STILL stops her#because even wanting to be with Haruka and knowing that they need to be together#isn't enough to make her ok with ruining Haruka's life#I GO FERAL OVER THIS#sailor neptune#sailor uranus#michiru kaioh#haruka tenou#long post#sailor moon
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MERCH DROP MERCH DROP YIPPEEE

GRAARGGARHHHFHHHFHDGJFJ 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶 HI MAXIMO LUCKY JONRONERO SAVE ME MAXIMO LUCKY JONRONERO I LOVE YOU FOREVER LUCKY JONRONERO oh yeah and miners there too hi miner i GUESS.
#rhythm doctor#rhythm doctor lucky#rhythm doctor miner#rhythm doctor hailey#rhythm doctor logan#rhythm doctor ada#<- theyre so small in the official art and i did NOT do them justice im so sorry guys 😭#miner scales#mishs art tag#the bg is giving project sekai tbh#anyways. i dont need it. i dont need it i dont need it I NEEEEEEEEEEEEED IT#i already got the working remotely shirt recently but I LITERALLY NEED THIS ONE SOOOOOOOOOOO BAD#LIKE I WAS THINKING TO MYSELF THAT IF ACT 5/LUCKY MERCH DROPPED ID DEFINITELY GO INSANE. AND YEAH. IM GOING INSANE.#ITS BEEN LIKE 3 HOURS AND I HAVENT STOPPED BEING GIDDY ABOUT THEM hejhefbasnnkjfdasm#the official art is NOT helping at all like theyre so. theyre soooooooooo theyre ssososoossoos *dies*#sorry im like not ok about them ill never be ok about them tbh 😭😭
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Happy Wednesday! I actually did things this week!
Tamagotchi coasters 4/6. Incredibly tempted to call it here but I have plenty of yarn for the last two and I'm just being too tired to cast on. (plus being finished means I have to weave in the ends which I'm super too tired to do)
Doily 14 sees me on the VERY LAST lace row. Would be far more exciting if I didn't already do the math to see how many chains I would need for the crochet cast off (as the pattern is written, it would be 2.5 THOUSAND slip stitches. With 170 total chains between decreases). But I really need the needles it's on so I've been grinding away.
Shawl 15 is the reason I need those needles! She grows so fast. This pattern is exactly as boring as I remember it being, but I'm a lot better at reading my knitting than the last time I knit it so I don't have to fuss with the 20 stitch markers the pattern recommends. I'm already planning even more mods for the next time I give in and knit it again, namely I think it could look good with an icord edge, esp one that starts with a gap a la Stephen West's Shawl Smorgasboard.
#knitting#knitblr#wip#wip wednesday#lace rot#project: shawl 15#project: doily 14#chevrons look. so fucking good. esp with this garter ridge pattern that gives like a faux brioche look#but they're SO FUCKING BORING sdljfdslkjfksf#every other row. having to stop and be like ok where are my decreases ugh#next time i knit 15 i really should do it in a blockable fiber. Or get a steamer so i can kill the fuck out of this acrylic#note to self i need to remember to cast on a hat sometime this week
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Ponyboy definitely uses art to cope, like ya he draws people all the time and other stuff and is obviously an artist. But he has a sketchbook, that no one but him really knows about and this is the sketchbook he draws in mostly at night. When he can't sleep (boy definitely has issues with insomnia) and it's very different from his usual realistic Tame style where he draws faces and objects.
It's mostly impressionism and like all the draws are dark or have dark themes. And there nit just pencil, some have charcoal or oil pastels even paint. And like it's his outlet, he started when his parents died. He'd draw stuff from nightmares he had that he rembered or how he felt/thought. And it only got worse after Johnny and dally died. Like they include them now and it's darker and more chaotic and ya.
and he's very secretive of the sketchbook cause if anyone saw it they'd be very concerned (and pony knows this cause when it's daylight and he's in an ok headrace he looked through it and feels a bit concerned himself) like if anyone saw it they'd realise how fucked up he is after it all and it'd be a whole thing. So he just like doesn't bring it up ever.
So ya basically he uses art to cope, impressionism style and its all really dark and concerning cause it abt his shitty emotions :)
#ok i need to stop projecting on to characters i relate to#this is becoming an issue#ponyboy curtis#the Outsiders#i should really go to bed
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You know I’m about to do some reeeeally good character analysis when even I step back and ask “oh is this too much projecting?”
#shut it ya damn bird#uhh… venting heads up I guess. jeez kids could you lighten up a bit??#in this particular instance it’s not that it’s out of character it’s just that that was a particularly dark moment between me and someone#I care deeply about and like. ok. At a certain point it stops being my slides to project but also like….??? that fits the character so well#yes he WOULD do that but also I DID do that and I need to find out if it’s ok.#I’m sorry again bestie it was a moment of weakness I didn’t mean to upset you I genuinely lost control and I think that scared both of us#but I 10000% know that it was my fault. you didn’t do anything wrong. neither did they. it was all on me.#<- (get a load of this idiot who knows that this doesn’t make it ok and feels the need to clarify that fact because if they don’t they#worry that people will get the wrong idea and think they’re a monster)#<— (look at this idiot who has the audacity to think that they might not be the monster)#<— (look at this monster who knows what they did.)
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I didn’t have any craving to do this before but like. Enjin is truly pushing me to the point of needing to make a selfship side blog :/
#now to choose one of the four Enjin urls I’ve already hoarded lmao#this chapter truly devastated me actually I’m so down bad for him#also the whiskey on the rocks. this is partial projection bc like. bourbon isn’t exactly whiskey#but my grandpa had bourbon every night when I was. a kid#and I’m sensitive to alcohol bc my dad is an alcoholic but my papa was always so safe#so like thinking abt Enjin with a bourbon is like#lmao yo why the fuck am I crying abt my grandparents now this is soooo fucked up#but anyway this is what I mean lmfao like he is so . jddhkshfjdhririif#forgive me for dumping LMAO!!!! I’m chilling really I just miss my papa and my nana (she’s still alive just. she’s 99)#god I need to stop#ok bye#also I was cooking tonight and had such a specific realization abt myself and why I’m ..#ok I can’t get into this here id have to put it in a fic#which I might. on my side blog!#however you’ll never catch me writing first person probs ever. so.#OK NOT FOR REAL BYE im gonna go mourn papa more#caitie blabs
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shocking: autistic person is having a meltdown because she doesnt know what the schedule is, if it needs to change, or if people are being truthful to her or giving her a half truth answer
#pulling my hair out pulling my hair out#you DIDNT ANSWER MY QUESTIONS THOUGH WHY ARE YOU SAYING YOU DID#you just said the same thing !! in a different phrasing!!#ok be so real with me. do i have to change my classes next semester. like. thats ALL i want to know. will i be paying financially for YOUR#mistake? (your being the school admin as a whole) thats genuinely all i need to know and the answer is ??? youll be hearing from me?#WITHIN 5 DAYS? THE SEMESTER ENDS ON SATURDAY??? what is going to happen within the next 5 days that will magically give me full credit#a final? a test? a project? a presentation? class????#who knows. not me!#stop talking like a politician i genuinely need to know these things cus. youknow. ill be paying for it. with my money.
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i think that vriska homestuck and vriska pesterquest are two distinct versions of vriska and i think that a lot of people are thinking more about PQ vriska than HS vriska when they discourse about her because they remember PQ more clearly than HS and so they don’t remember like… the true, canon vriska from the comic, they mostly just remember a version of vriska that was one person’s exercise in projecting onto a character to write about her experiences, but was actually not all that in character when you compare it to HS vriska. so the discourse goes nowhere because we are now talking about two completely different characters.
#this is basically me saying i need to stop caring so much#i see people be so heinously wrong abt vriska yet talking with so much authority on the matter and i’m like#what is going on.#but then i realize they’re talking about PQ vriska#and yknow what. they’re right about pq vriska. but pq vriska is wrong about hs vriska#so like i need to just go ‘oh u mean pq vriska. not real vriska. ok moving on’ instead of getting mad that they don’t understand her#when i first played PQ i remember loving vriska a route and thinking it was in character#but then i read hs and then played pq basically back to back#and it was like. oh this is not my vriska. this is someone else#and its not like i haven’t done the same thing: written a character (vriska in fact) to just be a projection of myself#to express my feelings#but i’m not writing official stuff i’m writing fanfic for fun#like honestly almost none of the PQ routes feel in character to me off the back of reading HS proper#which isn’t a crime i still have fun playing PQ it is fun!#it is not so heinously out of character to be unenjoyable#it is just… not really accurate to canon#and shouldn’t be held up as the truth of the characters
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my review of Moonwalk: hot mess. ★★★.
#i will refer to it#but oh god... it's just#1st of all. the added afterword from 2009 should have been a FOREWORD bc it gives you the context for how this book was made#so they did have a real writer put it together based on long transcripts of interviews one of the publishing people did with mj#if those tapes exist or pieces of then exist i need to find them. i think i've seen some floating around#bc ... the way it's written sounds very michael. it's not well written. so i'm surprised they even had an actual writer do it#but that makes me think maybe the writer just pulled a lot of exact wording from the tapes?#i hope that's how it happened#like the publishing lady said i Also wish michael had been devoted to this project. this could've been really good#i'm interested in anything that comes straight from michael so ultimately i'm just grateful he did a book at all#and really WAS involved in it#but it just. it's a mess. it's disorganized. it's disjointed#it just does not deliver in so many ways#there were so many times i would read a couple paragraphs and be like. wait What. that went Nowhere#there are really wonderful parts of course too#first of all i'm happy to hear him talk about parts of his life he didn't necessarily talk about that much#i find everything he says about motown and esp the mid-late j5 motown years Supremely interesting#everything written about music and dancing and performing is great. seeing the way he thinks about those things. divine. enlightening.#the thing is. the tone is extremely defensive and passive aggressive throughout the whole book#which is amusing and i mostly like it. michael jackson was one petty and spiteful mf. he loved being right and he reiterates that a lot#but bc of the press treatment of more personal things like his appearance and relationships. those parts are just. eugh#like when it comes to music/dance/performance he can defend himself no problem. concrete evidence that he's fucking awesome and he knew it#he brings up dating and stuff and it feels like he was like. floundering. maybe he just couldn't decide how much to share?#idk it just feels like. he won't outright SAY some things but he'll sort of hint at things. and i can't tell if what he's hinting at#is the real truth or him being defensive and wanting to give the impression that he was 'normal' so people would just leave him alone#i can't tell. i really can't. i wanna just believe him but i'm like. wtf do you mean. and then there'll be inconsistencies#like WHAT R U TRYING TO SAY. you might as well just tell me what you WANT me to think and what you want people to stop bothering you about#ok anyways#it definitely feels like they rushed to get it out asap#i have like 10 questions for every page. i feel like a writer/editor should've been working with him in that way
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