#ok the author curse is real. goddamn

[fandumbass]

hey

this post isn't very good news, and I'm sorry about that. My condition has been fluctuating in this past week and I fear it's taking a turn down again. On top of that, I've been trying to catch up with medical bills and dealing with the associated paperwork. Behind the scenes, fic editing has slowed down to a near halt because a lot of the fic ended up having to be rewritten last second. We're almost at arc 2 (this first arc isn't very big) and I have very little written for it; that is to say, I would've had to take a hiatus anyway to try building back up a buffer for it.

Since it was going to happen anyway (regardless of it happening now or later) I've decided to take a (hopefully small, god willing) hiatus now instead to focus on my health and the responsibilities I've been putting off, on top of editing the rest of arc 1 and building that buffer back up. I don't know exactly when fic posting will start up again, but I can only express that I don't want to be away for too long. I'll still be around for messages, and I'll try to post status updates as they come in (those will probably become the new weekly/biweekly posts instead of fic posts until I have enough fic to start posting regularly again).

[ttuesday]

making it up to you

this is based on the anon I got a few weeks ago for some sub Micah <3

Summary: after you break Micah out of jail in Strawberry, he brings you back to his camp to make it up to you *wink wink*

Word Count: approx. 2,100

(NSFW)

It was a disaster. As you hightailed it out of Strawberry on your horse, you cursed yourself. Dutch had given you a simple task, rescue Micah. That was it. The mission wasn’t to shoot up half the town just cause someone took his precious guns. You knew when Dutch hears about what happened, he won’t be happy. Hell, you weren’t happy either, you were furious.

Micah rode ahead of you, leading you through the trees and to a secluded camp he had set up before he was thrown in jail. The camp was small, with the remains of a campfire, a single bedroll and an old wooden chair that looked as though it had been there for years.

“You still mad at me?” huffed Micah, dismounting Baylock

“You just killed half the goddamn town!” you exclaimed, not bothering to get off your horse “and for what, a pair of revolvers? Is that all you care about? Some old, worthless guns?”.

“You best watch that mouth of yours” Micah growled as he prodded his new black eye.

“Or what?” you snapped back “You gonna shoot me too?”.

“Don’t tempt me” he muttered.

“I’m done with this” you said, getting ready to leave. You were too frustrated to be around him and decided that going back to the main camp would be better.

“Good luck with that,” Micah chuckled lowly “they’ll be patrols out on all the roads by now, you won’t be able to pass without them recognizing you”.

You hated that he was right. After hesitating for a moment, you reluctantly dismounted and walked over to the chair. You’d be a fool if you left now. If you did, then Dutch would probably have to send Arthur to break you out of jail next. 

You sat down on the chair and crossed your arms, prepared to give Micah the silent treatment. Just because you had to stay didn’t mean you had to forgive him for the mess he made.

As the evening dragged on, Micah tried to speak to you a few times but you didn’t respond. ��C’mon, how’s about you come play doctor and help me with this eye” he tried to coax you into talking to him. You ignored him.

Next he tried to rile you up, hoping that would get a reaction out of you. “Real mature of you,” he mocked ��you still not talking to me?”. You didn’t reply.

Micah would never admit it openly but he cared about you, and this silent treatment was getting under his skin. To distract himself from the worry that he had messed things up with you, he lit the campfire.

You were one of the only people that actually tolerated him. There had been some occasions where one thing led to another and suddenly yelling at one another turned into passionately undressing each other while keeping your lips on his. At first it was supposed to be a one time thing when you were both out on a job but then it happened again before Blackwater… and then again in Colter

…ok, maybe it happened a few times in Colter but it was the most efficient way of staying warm. Maybe that’s why Dutch sent you, maybe he knew you were more than friends.

Finally, Micah sighed and decided to try and say something genuine. “You know, I uh… I do… care about you… and maybe I did lose my cool in Strawberry… I guess” he struggled to get the words out. You stayed silent, waiting for him to say more.

Micah walked over to you, leaning down to rest his hand on your thigh, his face inches from yours “Won’t ya let me make it up to you?”. Your eyes flicked down his lips as Micah hesitantly leaned in for a kiss, half expecting you to push him away. When you didn’t, he deepened the kiss and moved his hand up your thigh and to your length, palming it the best he could through your pants.

The kiss became more eager, his lips smashing against yours. Your hand came up to hold his cheek, subconsciously making sure not to accidently put pressure by his black eye. You were still mad at Micah but it was nice to finally get some more alone time with him. 

You broke the kiss and whispered against his lips “On your knees”. If Micah was going to make it up to you, you were going to be the one in charge and you weren’t about to let him off lightly. Micah was surprised by the authority in your voice but something that surprised him even more was how arousing he found it.

He obediently kneeled in front of you. As he got comfortable, you stood and undid your pants. Micah immediately reached for your cock as you took it out of your pants, his hot breath against your length making you more impatient by the second. You tenderly pushed his hair away from his face and held the back of his head. Micah opened his mouth wide and slowly licked a stripe up the underside of your cock. You knew he was going slow on purpose, trying to get you as flustered as possible. You rocked your hips forward, groaning as he started to suck around you.

Your grip on his hair tightened as you thrusted into his mouth. Micah gagged around your shaft as it hit the back of his throat. “Such a good slut for me” you said, pumping your cock in and out of his mouth. Micah’s brow creased, obviously not appreciating the comment. 

You pushed his head down until your entire length was in his mouth, his nose pressing against your skin. You could see him struggle to breath, not used to you being so deep in his mouth. Micah closed his eyes as he focused, trying his hardest not to gag again. Slowly, you pulled out. He gasped, taking a couple deep breaths before looking up at you. He had a small smirk on his face as he took your cock again.

Micah tried to keep his jaw loose as you roughly fucked his mouth. You rammed your cock as far as you could, before quickly pulling out again. You quicken your pace, losing yourself in the moment. You loved seeing your length in his mouth, seeing how he gagged and his eyes watered. It was all too much but you didn’t want it to end. 

You harshly tugged Micah’s hair, jerking his mouth away from your shaft. He stared up at you with wide eyes and spit smeared across the side of lips and on his horseshoe mustache. Oh, what a pretty sight. “Take off your pants” you ordered gruffly.

Micah did what he was told, quickly getting rid of his pants to expose his hard cock. He kept his shirt on which was barely kept closed by two flimsy buttons. You reached over to your satchel by the chair and grabbed your container of hair pomade. You didn’t have to tell Micah what to do next. As you threw your satchel over by the chair again, you watched as he got down on all fours, his ass facing you. You smirked, loving every second of this.

"Well you got into this position quickly" you teased, your hand on his ass cheek. Normally Micah was the one to tease you but on this rare occasion, you were the one in charge. Micah glanced over his shoulder to scowl at you, not used to being the one taunted. You leaned forward so that you spoke directly against the back of his ear "You know I'm not going to take it easy on you, Bell". You gave his ass cheek a harsh slap, smiling when a soft moan spilled from Micah’s lips.

You generously applied some hair pomade to Micah's hole before pressing a finger in. Micah lowered his head as you slipped your index finger in and out of him. You didn't waste time in adding another finger, curling and scissoring them as you did. A loud moan came from him as he began to rock his hips backwards, into your fingers. "Oh, you want more?" you growled into his ear.

He grunted in response but you wanted to hear him say it. "If you want something you're going to have to say it" you said, pulling your fingers out and resting your hand on his ass again. You roughly kissed his neck, leaving marks as you waited for him to say it. "I..." he trailed off "I-I want... I want you to fuck me". You smiled, leaning back to properly line yourself up with his hole "That's all you had to say".

You pushed your cock into his entrance, groaning as you did. Normally he was the one pushing into you, he was the one whispering filthy things into your ear but now you were in charge. "Fuck, you're so tight" you exhaled, giving him a second to adjust to your length inside of him. As you began to thrust into him, you gave him the praise you knew he needed. "That's it," you said, holding on to his hips "so good for me, fuck, you're so handsome like this".

You noticed Micah try and move one of his hands down to touch his leaking cock. You slammed your hips into him, stopping him from doing so. "Did I say you can touch yourself?" you questioned. He opened his mouth to reply but all that came out was a whimper. You couldn't help it as a smirk crept on to your face. You never thought you'd hear Micah whimper. You fucked him harder, your hips snapping back and forth.

You grabbed a fistful of his hair and yanked it, making Micah crane his neck back. He gasped, his face scrunched up in pleasure. "Christ, you make the prettiest noises" you muttered, letting go of his hair and moving your hand down to Micah's cock. You wrapped your hand around his throbbing cock, drawing another moan from the outlaw.

You slowed your pace but continued to thrust deep into him, the tip of your cock rubbing against his prostate. "You should fuck up more often" you said, running your thumb across his slit "I like seeing you like this, a moaning mess". Micah choked back another moan, his mouth slightly apart as he craved his release.

"Now you can touch yourself" you said, removing your hand from his cock. Micah took over and began jerking himself off as you focused on fucking him, chasing your own high. Micah came first, grunting as he did and you followed quickly behind him.

You took a few seconds to catch your breath before gently pulling out. "You alright?" you asked, shifting your weight to grab a few rags from your satchel. Micah huffed as he started to move, his joints stiff. You quickly cleaned yourself up, tucking yourself away before going to tend to Micah. You softly kissed his body as you cleaned him off, murmuring words of praise. Micah leaned into you, savouring your touch. You ran your fingers across his body, appreciating every inch.

"You did real good, taking me so well" you said, kissing his shoulder. He scoffed, acting as though he didn't need the compliment but the faint smile on his face told you otherwise. "How's your eye?" you asked, kissing the side of his neck.

"Fine," he mumbled "don't think it's infected".

"You wanna lie-down for a while?" you asked, subtly admiring the marks you had left along his neck.

He looked at you with hazy, content eyes "Yeah, I'd like that".

You led him over to the bedroll and settled down for the night. You held Micah, your hand slowly trailing up and down his back with a blanket enclosing the both of you. Micah nuzzled against your neck as he drifted off to sleep, drained from the long and eventful day.

You didn't fall asleep immediately. Instead you gazed up at the night's sky and smiled. Yes, Micah was a hard guy to get along with, everyone knew that. But there was something about him you couldn't shake. You knew when the gang hears about the mess he made in Strawberry there'd definitely be some arguing but that was a problem for tomorrow. 

All you wanted to do now was enjoy the moment. Micah let out a small snore. You lowered your gaze to look at him and lightly kissed the top of his head. As you dozed off, the smile on your face stayed as you held him a little tighter.

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket, Se3, ep 12 (Part 1)

The aftermath of the curse lifting~ Btw, the timeline is super messy. Flashbacks & background stories aren’t this anime’s best tool, it’s always felt messy when they attempt that. more on it in my side notes below. Now into the ep~

-Yuki & Machi: ( Blossoming Love!):

I love that the author attempted different direction of romantic love with yuki/machi that suits yuki’s personality! Opposite to kyo/tohru who had the (from best friends to lovers/ from roommates of 3 years to lovers). Yuki & machi’s love is based on natural crush & while she isnt his best friend, she’ll be his lover & they’ll know each other after dating. Both types of love are realistic & have their own path of dynamics, which is clear with how yuki/machi will be interacting & how kyo/tohru are now interacting since becoming official. I’m still bummed most of yuki/machi’s “noticing each other” is supposed to be off-screen, it robbed me of seeing yuki interact in a normal teenage-boy crushing on a girl which contrasts his relationship with kakeru, kyo, haru & tohru. Now, we’ll start the “ official-boyfriend yuki” stage! Also, this jump to confessions didnt help machi have any uniqueness beside being saved by yuki’s words from her trauma. watching her interact with him normally would’ve added realistic depth to her being a normal girl with unique cute quirks differently from tohru, Isuzu, kagura or even motoko!. Oh well~ moving on & focusing on the meaningful cute confession. I loved that altho there were a hug & a kiss, it didn’t have “ I love you” statement. You know they (will) love each other so dearly, but they’re in stage 1 now, she just called him by his first name for the first time! cute! I love that the emphasis is on the “ first name” calling since this is a huge key to yuki’s identity & struggle. Also, It is cute she bought a gift to tohru! This is a set-up to a healthy relationship with yuki since she isn’t jealous from a precious woman in his life that isnt related by blood.

-Moving towards the future: Kyoru’s final stage of growth!

By Kyokoy’s grave Kyo & tohru had key moment of growth & healthy closure to their core character issues::

1- Kyo’s toxic habit of running from life became a desire to run towards life!: While this habit is rightfully excused by his trauma, it needed to be addressed once his curse broke. We know he stopped running & faced his dad, confessed to tohru, accepted her love, embraced his crazy desire for her & accepted he deserved to be loved! Even ran towards tohru, chasing her! However, all the above is him running to the good current life in his grasp. He needs to run to the far away future this time! Needs to plan for the good & accept that the bad is part of it. struggling is part of life & he’ll endure it together with her, while enjoying life’s rewards.

I love that kyo is the one who suggested moving out to another city/place, cuz kyo was the one NOT living. He was long dead & trapped in the cage of his guilt & self-loath. Tohru at least was living thro helping others ( which is not real living but at least it’s better). Kyo was “ Mom, why didn’t you kill me instead of yourself?” ,“ I’ll kill yuki & then kill myself, would that please you, dad?!”, “ I cant forgive me, I dont want you to forgive me, tohru”. Walking on a road of self-destruction & slow death. But now, with tohru he wants life!!! all of it!! travel, learn, see, struggle, fail, succeed, build their own future by themselves.

I love that kyo didnt take tohru’s approval for his plans for granted. He really didnt think she’ll accept right away. He didnt even want her to dedice quickly, He was prepared for compromising to a better solution for them both. They’ll work other possibilities “ if i’m gonna live in this world, I want to do it with you”.

I love that kyo was real abt the obstacles ahead & didnt want tohru to just follow him based on love. He wanted her to decide on her own as well. He also, left the door open for her to change her mind anytime & this screams support & understanding!! Very powerful!.

2- Thoru’s toxic habit of being ashamed to desire anything for herself, living for others & wearing a happy “i’m okay” mask while concealing her true feelings became confidence, self-clarity & honesty: The tohru who was smiling while concealing grief on the beach is gone, the tohru who kyo had to coax her to “complain, be selfish” se01,ep5, to “not hide worrying over a relative’s sickness” se02, ep14 “ cry if she needs to” se3, ep6, is now telling kyo her honest opinion abt his proposal, while thinking of her own self as much as him & even objecting to his sentiment abt her mom’s words!!!!

I love that tohru is now a confident free woman making her own decisions based on self-honesty & communication with her partner. She wasn't just “okay” with it cuz he wants it while putting fake smile, No more of that. Now, she’ll say her true feelings, she asked him abt his plans, tried to see if it is a spur of the moment decision or if he really thought abt it. She also inquired where’s heading, who he talked to, what he’s planning! She is deciding for herself after hearing him! ok, this is your plan? I like it. I’m going!  Very powerful!.

I love that like how kyo was realistic abt the plan having some difficulties due to starting away by themselves, she was also realistic that it is indeed sad to part with my friends, my hometown, & my mom’s resting-place, but i’ll choose ME now. “I” want to go with you for “me”. This is not a bind I’ll follow you wherever love story, this is realistic depiction of healthy relationship. Acknowledging hardships & accepting them saves you from being crushed by failure, you’ll endure it when it eventually happens & move on, cuz God knows we DO fail & succeed! Life isnt smooth sailing~ 

I love that tohru complemented him on his plan cuz she could see that is a sign of growth. If she’s gonna share her life with this man, it is delightful to see that he is thinking of a happier, healthier & realistic future! Cuz kyo was this destroyed man~ so destroyed he was pushing her away despite loving her dearly, now, he’s asking her opinion & permission to accompany him!

I love that tohru made sure to touch upon kyo’s last scar “ my mom doesnt hate you” This is a scar that wont go away even if kyo is mentally healthy. Cuz death is the ultimate truth. He can never hear kyoko’s affirming her love for him, he’ll have to trust in it based on their earlier interaction together. Tohru is powerfully & stubbornly taking away most of his pain by affirming her acknowledge of her mom. You might disagree kyo, you might still feel a bit guilty, it might haunt you sometimes. but me? NO. Never. Mom loved you. She meant ONLY good. Hopefully my determination heals you bit by bit, & it DOES. Kyo stands bravely, confidently & happily in front of kyoko’s grave & instead of saying “ i apologize for hurting you, or tohru, I’m sorry, forgive me”.  he tells her he’ll keep their promise & protect tohru for life! he literally proposed there in front of her mom & all. T_T

-Kyoko’s Words: ( Sometimes, you don’t get to know the whole truth & that’s okay):

Can’t describe how much I love this part. This is the most painful yet important lesson in furuba. Life isn’t a movie where the entire truth is exposed to the characters or the audience. Sometimes you live & die without getting to know an important truth, hearing a much needed confirmation, or getting a loved one’s forgiveness. There are things in our life that we just can’t get back no matter how much we tried. What we do, then? die? despair? throw away what we DO have in our hands for this lost truth no matter how important it was to us? No, we do the only thing we can. Live. Not just go thro life’s motion, but really live. Accept the good & the bad. This is so goddamn easy & difficult as hell too!

-Kyo not knowing kyoko’s words at that time was tragic. It was so tragic it sent kyo into a suicidal descent into the abyss. The wounds of his mom’s death that were slowly healing with kazuma’s care got re-opened & poured blood! The old destructive habits became full force, The toxic coping habits returned with its ugliness. I can’t kill myself literally? I’ll do it figuratively. trapped, caged, destroyed, eyes shut, ears closed, only seeing his pain. Kyo is us. All of us in any moment of true crushing despair. He could never bring the dead back, hear their loving words or ask forgiveness. Thro kyo, the author is telling us... I know. You had your moment of lost truth, didn’t you? I know. IT IS OKAY. live, my child. your pain is valid, let it take its course, but afterwards live bravely.

-Kyo’s path towards healing is: the ugliest cuz it hurt tohru of all ppl, the longest cuz he was the last one to move on, the bloodiest cuz he’ll never have the ppl he lost, the rockiest cuz he failed & failed, the most frustrating cuz he repeated his mistakes over & over, He couldnt even do it alone. needed intervention & support. He lost hope. completely. But it is okay even if you fell as deep as kyo: stand up. even if you never learned the truth: let go. even if you were the last one to learn or heal: it isn’t a race. Embrace life with its good & bad & continue as kyoko said “ you fought well”

-Kyoko’s parting plea to her daughter broke my heart into pieces. Death is ugly, but death is a truth that we can’t escape. The leaving ones is hurting as much as the ones left behind, but hopefully, the leaving ones will find a happiness a kin to the ones left behind. yuki’s "say a prayer & move one, one step at a time” is all you can do.

-Kyoko was: a gangster who hurt others (ugly path), repented, married & had a daughter (fulfilling path), widowed & left her daughter while grieving (ugly path), came back, repented & tried to raise tohru well, love her enough! (fulfilling path), died & left her young high school daughter all alone (heartbreaking path) but she accepted that the last path isn’t sth she can fight, prayed, & accepted her fate~

-Kyoko~~ “ you fought well”  while you were alive~ you really did! The Tohru you left behind helped a whole clan & hopefully readers as well! you tohru is loved by an entire generation of readers & anime watchers. Tohru is so precious & I can’t stop crying~

Side Notes:

Timeline is super messy & confusing. (a) Tohru’s hospital discharge, kyoru’s hug & curse break for everybody all happened at the (late) afternoon. While curse was breaking, akito was wearing her white kimono & she cried until tohru hugged her on sunset. (b) Before tohru’s hospital shigure’s face was scar-less. we first saw the scar in the afternoon & he was wearing his kimono.

Now the flashback, Akito wearing her outfit from her talk with the maid (which also happened while kyo was talking to his dad which is on the same day) & shigure wearing suit & it’s sunset time??????? How can the sunset happen before the curse break on the afternoon? She inflected the scars on the sunset, how did he have them on the afternoon of the same day?? both changed outfits which is even weirder??? Someone help me put things on order. Or is order not important? If the sequence of events isn’t important, then, why did it have to happen on the curse break day??? Shigure could’ve had his scars a day or two before tohru’s discharge.

Also the OP started in the middle of yuki’s scene which was so odd!

No big deal, but I still feel that yuki’s curse break would’ve been thematically powerful last ep. Especially after seeing The Zodiac Ruler come & collect the spirits. The legend would've been wrapped powerfully on the same ep where it was told. We see the zodiacs’ original story & we see its closure. It would’ve made tohru/akito’s hug more symbolic. An end of an era to akito & to them all. Real Goodbye to the zodiac animals, but now we had a goodbye & a half. lol.

Is yuki the only one seeing the cursed spirit? He looked down at it? I dont remember the others looking down where an animal would be? Is yuki’s curse special? different? He got all the ropes/bonds around him? I really thought yuki’s theme is all abt desiring to be normal & despising the “special” treatment that haunted him even in school. 

Momiji/ kagura /kyo interaction is cute!

Haru/Yuki/ Isuzu interaction is cute as well. XD

Kagura, girl, you used to have best fashion, what’s up with jeans under knee length dress?! lol.

I’ll be honest. It is a lost opportunity that machi weren't made to question how teen-tohru is yuki’s mom. That would’ve solidified her as a unique stand alone character if she were to discuss it with yuki. Tohru being yuki’s mom figure is not normal, otherwise yuki’s entire dilemma of figuring out his feelings for tohru would’ve become meaningless. Having machi quickly “understand” it is a bit weird. But it helps the plot move quickly, I guess. ( it reminds me of Arisa hugging akito when she confessed stabbing kureno without questioning anything, it is weird, but you get the message that “ we aint got time for that~ gotta hop on the next plot).

I love that furuba subverted the old anime-trope of the entire happy cast staying together in one city/place & living exactly like they did in their teens except being married now! XD. It is so realistic that each character is now moving on their path of life~

Tohru wore a ring in her foreshadowing vision! SHE WORE A RING! My baby girl is a grown woman now~ T_T. I love tohru so much!~

Shigure/ akito & the last banquet is in my review part 2. I’ve been editing out any thoughts abt Shigure from my previous posts. I needed to see the whole picture first. I think can now talk abt them, I’m looking forward to the comments of the next part cuz I really really need to see if I understood it or if i’m off.

[guigz1-coldwar]

'Surprising' : New chapter for "Redemption in a Spirit in a Cold War" is out !

"Surprising"

"Ready for your new job, agent Grigoriev?"

Chapter Summary: Days passed and while having a little fun game of 'Bullshit' with Zasha & Park, Yirina got an idea that could be surprising for them to do...

Link of the Picrew used !

To read it on AO3, click here!

Words : +3600

Taglist : @snowgoldwaylon , @clxudtea , @efingart

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July 2nd, I was now well used to go work at Century House, fill up some paperwork, talk with some people, be with Park & Zasha, coming back to the apartment to have a good diner, maybe watching TV or playing a 'Bullshit' game before going to sleep, that was now my daily basis since we returned from Verdansk but today was a different day from the other ones. Today, it was the first time that I, Park & Zasha were authorized to not go to work, allowing a day of taking a break peacefully in the apartment.

There was still that problem with the arrival of Lukas Ritter and that mysterious I.B in London. I, Park the MI5 & Zasha's team were on it for days but we didn't succeed to catch anything to know about both of them. It was sure nonetheless that we were going to put aware of anything new in the case by the MI5 or the rest of Zasha's team that was working at Century House for us and now, the three of us were in the living room, not watching TV but...rather playing a 'Bullshit' game as friends...

"Come on, how the fuck did you get 2 queens, Yiri?" Park cursed at me after I put in the middle of the table two queens on the pack of cards.

"Hey, it's not me that said 'Bullshit'!" I smirked at her, giving eyes to the pack of cards as a means for her to take the pack in her hands. "So now, you take the pack or I'll have to do something very bad," I warned her, a smile on the part of my face...a naughty thought in my head.

"You're not funny, love," She sighed, taking the pack of cards in her hands even if I was feeling in her voice that she wasn't meaning it. "Did you two ally against me?"

"Why I will do that?" Zasha fainted to be offended by Park's words, their little pack in their hands. "I literally beat you two together two nights ago along with my Yiri so I didn't ally with her, Park," They added, making a little laugh by looking at the two of us. "So, are you going to make a team against me or we're continuing to play?"

"An alliance is probably good," I muttered, winking at Park and by the second I said that Park immediately moved to get next to me with her big pack of cards. "Wait, that was a joke..."

"Not for me," Park smiled at me, now finding myself to work with her and her big pack of cards along with mine that was like between big & small. "If we work together, I promise big things with you, only the two of us," She whispered in my left ear, using a pretty seductive voice

"Ok, I'm teaming up with Park," I exclaimed to Zasha, joining my pack with Park's one almost enthusiastic about Park's...proposal to me. "Now, let's the fun begin: four kings," I started, looking at the united cards.

"Pfff...bullshit." Zasha chuckled, thinking that I was joking before I start to put down the first king card.

"One king," I said, not removing my eyes from Zasha to see their reaction as I was putting the card down.

"Two kings," Park continued, taking the second card on the table.

"Three kings," I put down the third one before I start to see a small drop of water on Zasha's forehead, making me laugh "And four kings!" I announced, putting the last king card we had in the united pack.

"Ah, come on, that ain't right!" Zasha protested, resisting the urges of throwing their cards on the table, half-upset to us. "That isn't fair at all, you teamed up," They complained.

"Yes, but you didn't say anything to us about it," Park raised her shoulders to them, slowly moving her hands towards the four kings' cards on the table to give them. "So, we had the right to do it,"

"It's the first time you beat me but you two had to team up," Zasha rolled their eyes around the room, their face directly telling that our alliance was...how can I say?...not obligated to do to beat them. "You two...next time, beat me by not allying with each other,"

"At least, we showed that you weren't invincible to 'Bullshit'," I stated as they were always winning with Portnova at their side while I & Park were the ones always losing, now having changed the things and having won. "There's a beginning to everything, Zed," I added.

"Maybe but your victory isn't a fair one," They continued to not accepting our victory against them, nonetheless taking the kings' cards in their hands. "You two...well, I'm probably sure you two want coffee for your victory,"

"Why not?" I suggested, looking at Park who nodded to me. "I'm for it and I'm sure that you're going to have one for you too,"

"You're goddamn right," They grinned at me, putting their pack of cards upside down on the table to get up to walk to the kitchen, leaving me & Park on the couch.

"At least, we managed to trick them," Park muttered, her right arm going around my shoulder. "As I promised, me & you are going to do some big things alone," She affirmed, her left arm now above my chest.

"I'm curious about what we will do," I breathed, my hands going on her left arm, a smile on my face. "I just think that we should do that away, you know, maybe a little travel somewhere," I suggested to her.

"And where do you want to go exactly?" She asked me curiously.

"I don't know, we can talk about it later," I said as her question was a bit hard to respond to despite the easiness of it. "Now, we had to beat Zasha on our own," I told her.

"Yeap, you have to..." I heard Zasha's voice coming back to us, three cups in their hands, me moving to grab the two they were having in their left hand. "And if you don't, I will certainly have to teach you the game perfectly," They continued, sitting back on their seat.

"We'll see about it now," I snorted before taking a sip of my cup, and then, suddenly, it was like I had an idea in my head. "Wait, I think that we can do something else,"

"What? You fear to let me win again?" Zasha bragged, drinking their coffee.

"No, why don't we go pay a visit to Portnova at the university?" I proposed to both as she was the only one that was at work today, "It's surely going to surprise her, I never got the chance to see her as a teacher,"

"Why not? I want to see that too," Park agreed to my idea as Zasha was surprised to hear that from us.

"Well, that's a great idea from you and since it's been you came back that I didn't have the chance to visit her at work so yeah, I'm in," They also agreed to my idea as I & Park got up from the couch, our cup in hands, finishing them quickly. "Prepare yourselves, I'll be leading the way,"

"Of course," Park smiled at them, putting her cup down on the table.

"Yeap," I did the same thing as her before I moved away to grab mine & Park's jacket on the coat hanger. "Time for us to go back to university," I joked while I was putting on my jacket after giving Park hers.

Once we were done preparing ourselves and waiting for Zasha to do the same as they were still wearing their pyjamas at the beginning of the afternoon, having to dress back in casual clothes, we left the apartment, not forgetting to take some things for our visit to Portnova, including papers & pens to write as I also thought that it was a good idea to attend one of Portnova's lecture class this afternoon, talking about maths.

Instead of walking through a large part of London to reach the university, we decided to use the imperial buses to get to it, discovering for the first time those buses from the inside that were like usual ones...but with more seats & a roof for passengers. However, we stayed in the comfort of inside the bus we took, letting Park & Zasha sit on free seats while I stayed up as the bus was almost full of people.

It took us ten minutes to arrive at the university by bus, also discovering the place for the first time as I never got the chance to visit this part of London but thanks to Zasha and a bit Park, I managed to spot my way in, Zasha leading the way to get us to the room she was going to make her lecture soon, having arrived in time to not miss it entirely.

"You're sure it's here?" I asked Zasha as we arrived near one of the doors they stopped nearby.

"Of course, Portnova is always making her lectures in here and as you know well, I already know the place," They admitted before they opened the door for me & Park. "Come on, students, time to learn," They scoffed, gesturing to us to enter the room that was looking like an auditorium with almost a hundred real students already in.

"Shit, it's a lot," I commented, discovering the number of people in here as I wasn't so feeling good to be around a lot of people in a small place.

"Grigoriev? Park? Zed?" I was surprised when I heard Portnova's voice near me, looking in her direction to see her coming from the main desk. "But what are you doing here?" She asked us.

"We wanted to surprise you, Yiri," Zasha replied, a grin on their face at seeing Portnova dressed like a teacher, she was looking perfect in that uniform. "It's been a long time that I didn't came and we all wanted to 'attend' one of your classes if possible,"

"Yeah, we wanted to know but if you think it's too stressful for you, we can stay outside until you're finished," Park suggested, telling one of her fears about the surprise. "It was just our curiosity that wanted to know how you were as a teacher," She added, looking at me as the one who got the idea about it.

"Well, that doesn't disturb me at all," Portnova reassured us, making the three of us relieved. "I see that you didn't come with your hands empty," She remarked, seeing the things we got in hands, paper & pens.

"We preferred to really attend than just look at you making your work so we bring paper," Zasha explained to her, seeing them wink at her.

"Good, go install yourselves somewhere, I'm going to start soon," She ordered to us, gesturing towards the remaining seats for us "Be advised: I will check your work once I'm done," She smirked at us, using a half-serious voice before she starts to walk back to her desk.

"We should sit at the end of the class, having a better view and of course, not wanting to stress too much Portnova," I suggested to the two as I think that I never wanted to be in front of everyone in the room, having a hundred eyes in my back isn't something I like.

"And by luck, we got seats for us," Park whispered, pointing towards the free seats at the end of the class, just located on the side of the main doors before she moved to get to them, following her quickly before we could sit perfectly on them.

"Back to university..." I thought to myself like that, thinking about my recovered memories but I never had one of me attending a class or something. "It's still weird to be acting like students for me," I spoke to Park as she was sitting near me in the middle, Zasha against the wall.

"Not for me, makes me remember when I studied international relations in Oxford," She said with a smile, putting her paper on the table with her pen before crossing her arms. "A good period for me,"

"You studied at Oxford before?" Zasha demanded to her, removing themselves from the wall, sounding curious in their voice.

"Yeap, I started to study in Oxford two months after I turned 18 years old," She responded, looking at them.

"Mmhm..mmhm," We all heard a microphone and Portnova's voice through it, probably the way to get her voice listened from everyone and that did get our attention. "Hello, everyone, it's time for us to continue from the last class," She started, prompting me, Park & Zasha to make us ready.

At this moment, it was time for us to become for almost 2 hours, maths students, listening to Portnova's lesson and making sure to note everything while she was asked questions by some curious students. Zasha said to us discreetly that they thought at first that they were asking 'stupid questions' until Portnova make them realize that they weren't stupid at all, giving a lot of arguments and causing Zasha to stop thinking about it as 'stupid'...just curiosity.

There was something that I didn't think at first about a lecture, it's that we really need to write faster as Portnova was not stopping at any moments in her lesson, thinking at first that my pen was going to give me up before the end of the 2 hours but hopefully after one hour of lesson, Portnova allowed everyone to take a break for 5 minutes before she could restart her lesson again, giving me a time to breathe.

"That's looking very interesting," I said, looking down at what I wrote on my own piece of paper.

"I second this, she's really a good teacher and we did only one hour," Park commented, agreeing about my statement before she got up from her seat. "I'm going to talk with her until she restarts, you're both coming?" She asked.

"Of course," Zasha replied directly.

"I'm going to take a breath in the hallway for a second, I'll be coming back shortly," I responded for me as even if the class was nice, it was like feeling too hot in here, the windows of the auditorium not even opened to let some fresh air coming in.

"Okay, we'll stay with Portnova if you search for us," Park reassured me as I got up from my seat along with Zasha before we start to walk down the stairs, parting ways with the two to get outside the big room to take a breath. I was only out for a few seconds that I was intentionally pushed over by a man dressed in a black hoodie in front of me.

"Hey, watch where you're going, redhead!" The man warned me, not taking the blame at all but suddenly, I saw something that almost freezes my blood: the man was wearing a small Perseus necklace above his hoodie.

"I'm sorry, sir," I apologized, not really myself in my voice until he walked away from me...entering the room I just left...the room where Portnova was teaching. "Fuck..." I whispered, realizing the whole situation: a Perseus agent was here. "Damnit," I said before I start to walk back into the class, seeing the man sitting on an empty seat in one of the first ranks.

"Already finished?" Zasha demanded to me as I was getting near them, Park & Portnova speaking.

"No, we have a problem," I revealed to them, moving to get closer to them. "There's a Perseus agent in the class,"

"What?" The trio whispered in shock to me, thinking that I was joking at first until I shook my head.

"You saw a guy dressed in a hoodie coming in..." I whispered, Portnova nodding to me discreetly. "He has a Perseus necklace with him and...shit, I think that he's after you, Portnova," I suggested as the man from Perseus didn't seem to recognize me despite my old status in the collective.

"Shit, that's means that Perseus knows that I'm alive," Portnova mumbled, seeing her eyes looking around before stopping in the direction the Perseus agent was. "What do you propose?" She asked me.

"Tell your students that you are needed for a few minutes and when you left, go to the bathroom, it's sure that the agent will follow you." I proposed, putting my arm for a second on her desk. "I'll be following him from up close while Park & Zasha follow me, we're going to trap him," I added and the trio nodded to me.

"Good, I'll tell them," Portnova approved, gesturing to go back to our seats, walking upstairs to reach them. "Excuse me everyone but I'm needed for a few minutes by a colleague, I'll be back shortly!" Portnova announced through her microphone to the students, putting silence in the room before she starts to walk away from her desk to leave it.

"Shit, the agent is following here," Zasha spoke up as we saw the Perseus agent leaving his seat too to walk away.

"I'm tailing him, stay near me," I took a deep breath before I do the same as the Perseus agent, going back downstairs to left the room too, knowing that Park & Zasha was nearby.

As I left the room, I saw the Perseus agent following Portnova from up close, her taking the right direction as I was walking to them, hoping to catch him quickly before he could put his hands on her and suddenly, I looked at Portnova who entered a room, probably the bathroom and as I predicted, that man was still behind her, entering the bathroom too before I start to run towards the door of it to get my hands on it.

"Shit..." I muttered as I start to hear some weird noises inside, causing me to open the door in a fast move, and then, I could discover the man that was going to take a pistol out of his jacket.

I moved quickly to grab the pistol out of his hands, throwing myself in him to make sure that no gunshot was going to happen in that place and by the noises, Portnova who was faking to look herself in the mirrors turned around to help me take out that agent but as I was falling down with him, he managed to push me over with his feet, landing with my back on the wall almost hardly.

"Fucking amateurs..." The man scoffed as he was struggling with Portnova for the gun until he headbutts her violently, removing her from the top of him, allowing him to get up, and then, I stretched my neck and arms to fight with that. "Here you are, redhead!" He told me before I start to give him punch and strike towards him, trying to find a way to make my attacks perfect, him managing to block a part of my punches to him.

After a few seconds of trying to punch him in his chest with my fists, I decided to change my methods, going to knee kick him in his waist, receiving some punches on my face, starting to feel the small taste of blood in my mouth but after a few strikes in the chest, I grabbed him by the collar, putting him against the window of the bathroom but as I was going to have knocked out by looking by his face, I was unfortunately distracted by the sound of a door.

Turning my head around was a bad mistake as he strikes me right in the guts and headbutts me too, making me fall on the ground as he opened the window of the bathroom, his pistol still on the ground as I was seeing briefly Park & Zasha coming in to check on us and help us but it was looking too late.

"You have the regards of Bellamy Petrov!" The man saluted us, using a joking tone before he jumped off through the opened window, out of sight of me as Park runs to catch him to the window.

"Shit, he's got away!" She said after checking for a few seconds through the window, seeming too late to stop this 'Bellamy'. "Yiri, you're alright?" She turned around to help me got up.

"I'm bleeding, I think," I replied after she helped me back on my feet, looking myself in the mirror to see some blood coming out of my nose, still feeling that taste in my mouth. "Fuck, now, Perseus knows that Portnova faked her death," I told, looking back at Portnova who was helped by Zasha back on her feet.

"How they could have known?" Zasha asked after they helped Portnova that was still holding her head, hurt.

"Perseus must have either agents in the MI6 or he's having agents everywhere, every time," Park responded with her hands on her waist. "We got the luck to come here, we avoided an assassination for sure,"

"Yeah but now, things are surely going to change," I commented about the situation. "If Perseus tried this today, that's meaning that Ritter & that I.B is coming soon for their job," I added, thinking that it was the only thing to link to that attempt. "Portnova, how do you feel?" I demanded to her.

"I'm fine, that guy is a brute with his punch & his head," She replied, holding her forehead as Zasha was staying near her, looking by her state.

"I think that we should get out of here, Portnova, you need to come with us," Park ordered in a clear voice, staying near me too, me holding my nose to stop the blood to come out and Portnova nodded, understanding the situation we were now facing...

"It seems that Perseus is taking his actions to a new level and I don't like it!"

[welllpthisishappening]

Welllp These Are Books: the February 2021 Edition

Most of my last month was spent on deadline and waiting for people to respond to my emails, which meant I did not have the time (or energy) to write much of anything, but had plenty of time to read, quite frankly, an absurd number of books. Some of which were very good, some of which were very cheesy, and some of which I have now told multiple people was quite possibly the worst book I have ever read. As always, though, what are my opinions if I am not sharing them with the internet? Ridiculous headlines, links, and those aforementioned opinions under the cut. As always, part two, feel free to send me any and all recommendations. It cannot possibly be worse than this one book. Seriously, you’ll understand in a second.

———

Quite Possibly the First Book I’ve Gone Out of My Way to Buy On Release Day Since Breaking Dawn, Which Says a lot About Me. As a Person.

A Court of Silver Flames by Sarah J. Maas

Nesta Archeron has always been prickly-proud, swift to anger, and slow to forgive. And ever since being forced into the Cauldron and becoming High Fae against her will, she's struggled to find a place for herself within the strange, deadly world she inhabits. Worse, she can't seem to move past the horrors of the war with Hybern and all she lost in it.

The one person who ignites her temper more than any other is Cassian, the battle-scarred warrior whose position in Rhysand and Feyre's Night Court keeps him constantly in Nesta's orbit. But her temper isn't the only thing Cassian ignites. The fire between them is undeniable, and only burns hotter as they are forced into close quarters with each other.

Meanwhile, the treacherous human queens who returned to the Continent during the last war have forged a dangerous new alliance, threatening the fragile peace that has settled over the realms. And the key to halting them might very well rely on Cassian and Nesta facing their haunting pasts.

Against the sweeping backdrop of a world seared by war and plagued with uncertainty, Nesta and Cassian battle monsters from within and without as they search for acceptance-and healing-in each other's arms.

I’m not kidding when I tell you that I was counting the days until this came out. I was kind of indifferent to Nesta after the original ACOTAR books, but intrigued enough that I was like, I need to read this, and then I did read this and now I care quite a lot about Nesta. And how in love with Cassian she is. And vice versa. Because, let’s be honest, dude is in l o v e. There were some parts of the story I was not super into — namely, Ferye having to die in childbirth. Like, you’re telling me Cassian could have his guts hanging out at one point and we don’t know how to do a c-section? Nah, that ain’t it. Also, pregnancy as a storyline is not always my favorite thing, but more on that in a second. Also, also, here’s a bunch more words about ACOSF.

A “Huh, So That Happened” Sort of Ending. Which Was Disappointing.

A Vow So Bold and Deadly by Brigid Kemmerer

Emberfall is crumbling fast, torn between those who believe Rhen is the rightful prince and those who are eager to begin a new era under Grey, the true heir. Grey has agreed to wait two months before attacking Emberfall, and in that time, Rhen has turned away from everyone--even Harper, as she desperately tries to help him find a path to peace.

Fight the battle, save the kingdom. Meanwhile, Lia Mara struggles to rule Syhl Shallow with a gentler hand than her mother. But after enjoying decades of peace once magic was driven out of their lands, some of her subjects are angry Lia Mara has an enchanted prince and a magical scraver by her side. As Grey's deadline draws nearer, Lia Mara questions if she can be the queen her country needs.

As the two kingdoms come closer to conflict, loyalties are tested, love is threatened, and an old enemy resurfaces who could destroy them all, in this stunning conclusion to bestselling author Brigid Kemmerer's Cursebreaker series.

I loved the first book in this series. Absolutely adored it. So much so that I pretty quickly got the second one and read it. Enjoyed that on its own, but like I said in that one ask, I’m fairly certain A Curse So Dark and Lonely could have very easily been a standalone story. Should have been a standalone story? There was just SO MUCH going on here, and not nearly enough of it was resolved. Plot points just hung by the end of the trilogy, I was not ever entirely convinced Rhen and Harper were actually in love, let alone liked each other, and I thought Rhen got the very short end of an exceptionally cracked stick by the time the whole story wrapped up. Really, I think this  tried to do too much in not enough time and there should probably be another book. Also Lia Mara getting pregnant was dumb. There I said it.

Free Books On Amazon Unlimited That Were Better Than Expected, But Also Read Like Fic

The Bargainer Series by Laura Thalassa

Everyone knows that if you need a favor, you go to the Bargainer to make it happen. He’s a man who can get you anything you want … at a price. And everyone knows that sooner or later he always collects.

Callypso Lillis is a siren with a very big problem, one that stretches up her arm and far into her past. For the last seven years she’s been collecting a bracelet of black beads up her wrist, magical IOUs for favors she’s received. Only death or repayment will fulfill the obligations. Only then will the beads disappear.

But for one of his clients, he’s never asked for repayment. Not until now. When Callie finds the fae king of the night in her room, a grin on his lips and a twinkle in his eye, she knows things are about to change. At first it’s just a chaste kiss—a single bead’s worth—and a promise for more.

For the Bargainer, it’s more than just a matter of rekindling an old romance. Something is happening in the Otherworld. Fae warriors are going missing one by one. Only the women are returned, each in a glass casket, a child clutched to their breast. And then there are the whispers among the slaves, whispers of an evil that’s been awoken.

If the Bargainer has any hope to save his people, he’ll need the help of the siren he spurned long ago. Only, his foe has a taste for exotic creatures, and Callie just happens to be one.

No one is going to be able to convince me this wasn’t ACOTAR fan fic. I don’t care about timing or dates, or whatever. The similarities just...did not stop. In all three books, even. There were three books in this series, by the way. Most of which I really enjoyed. I read them all in like four days of email waiting, so they must have been doing something right. Des was a good love interest and I really liked the flashbacks in the first book. Also Callie didn’t super annoy me. That being said, whoever edited this book. Oof. Some of the prose was so goddamn cringe, I literally lol’ed. Right out loud. Every now and then it was like we had to be reminded that Des was a BAD GUY ™ but it felt very Edward “I’m a killer, Bella” Cullen, and Callie’s internal monologue was occasionally hysterical. Not in a good way. Also Temper was the worst. She was so annoying. Every time she talked, I was like, oh, her again. The first book was the best one.

HITTING ALL MY ROM COM BOXES! BASEBALL! ROMANCE! PINING! ONLY VAGUELY UNCOMFORTABLE WHEN THEY HAD SEX IN THE PORT JEFF DUGOUT BECAUSE I’VE BEEN IN THE PORT JEFF DUGOUT.

Fix Her Up by Tessa Bailey

Georgette Castle’s family runs the best home renovation business in town, but she picked balloons instead of blueprints and they haven’t taken her seriously since. Frankly, she’s over it. Georgie loves planning children’s birthday parties and making people laugh, just not at her own expense. She’s determined to fix herself up into a Woman of the World... whatever that means.

Phase one: new framework for her business (a website from this decade, perhaps?)

Phase two: a gut-reno on her wardrobe (fyi, leggings are pants.)

Phase three: updates to her exterior (do people still wax?)

Phase four: put herself on the market (and stop crushing on Travis Ford!)

Travis Ford was major league baseball’s hottest rookie when an injury ended his career. Now he’s flipping houses to keep busy and trying to forget his glory days. But he can’t even cross the street without someone recapping his greatest hits. Or making a joke about his… bat. And then there's Georgie, his best friend’s sister, who is not a kid anymore. When she proposes a wild scheme—that they pretend to date, to shock her family and help him land a new job—he agrees. What’s the harm? It’s not like it’s real. But the girl Travis used to tease is now a funny, full-of-life woman and there’s nothing fake about how much he wants her...

Living her best life means facing the truth: Georgie hasn’t been on a date since, well, ever. Nobody’s asking the town clown out for a night of hot sex, that’s for sure. Maybe if people think she’s having a steamy love affair, they’ll acknowledge she’s not just the “little sister” who paints faces for a living. And who better to help demolish that image than the resident sports star and tabloid favorite.

Legit, I saw the description for this and I was like—did I write this? Kind of. (Shameless plug to read my own rom com, it also has baseball and pining) It didn’t matter, I loved it. Seriously, it hit all my rom com boxes: childhood friends, best friend’s sister, coming back home under duress, FAKE DATING and, let’s be honest, I am not immune to the use of “baby girl” as an endearment. Every time Travis called Georgie “baby girl” I was like, oh, ok, this is cool. It was cool! I only have two quips. One, that the fake dating didn’t last a little longer. The pacing of the story felt very quick, but that’s also this genre’s style. So I kind of get it. And two, that it happened in Port Jefferson, which is a town in Suffolk County that I have not only been to, but have spent significant time in. Meaning I could picture every single thing, knew exactly where they were and have used the exit on the Northern State Parkway that the final moments of the book took place at. The Port Jeff girls basketball team won a Long Island championship last weekend. In real life, not the book.

In Which Spinoffs Continue to be my Kryptonite. Especially Well-Written Ones

Mistletoe and Mr. Right by Sarah Morgenthaler

Lana Montgomery is everything the quirky small town of Moose Springs, Alaska can't stand: a rich socialite with dreams of changing things for the better. But Lana's determined to prove that she belongs...even if it means trading her stilettos for snow boots and tracking one of the town's hairiest Christmas mysteries: the Santa Moose, an antlered Grinch hell-bent on destroying every bit of holiday cheer (and tinsel) it can sink its teeth into.

And really...how hard could it be?

The last few years have been tough on Rick Harding, and it's not getting any easier now that his dream girl's back in town. When Lana accidentally tranquilizes him instead of the Santa Moose, it's clear she needs help, fast...and this could be his chance to finally catch her eye. It's an all-out Christmas war, but if they can nab that darn moose before it destroys the town, Rick and Lana might finally find a place where they both belong...together.

I mentioned The Tourist Attraction in my January list, and this is the second in the Moose Springs trio. And it’s so good! I wish people were all as nice to Lana as Rick was. It’s what she deserved! More small-town antics, more kissing, another moose. This one was just as cute as the original book, especially because it brought back original characters and Zoey and Graham were so goddamn adorable as a committed couple I genuinely feared for the state of my teeth.

Enjoy the View by Sarah Morgenthaler

Former Hollywood darling River Lane's acting career is tanking fast. Determined to start fresh behind the camera, she agrees to film a documentary about the picturesque small town of Moose Springs, Alaska. The assignment should have been easy, but the quirky locals want nothing to do with River. Well, too bad: River's going to make this film and prove herself, no matter what it takes.

Or what (literal) mountain she has to climb.

Easton Lockett may be a gentle giant, but he knows a thing or two about survival. If he can keep everyone in line, he should be able to get River and her crew up and down Mount Veil in one piece. Turns out that's a big if. The wildlife's wilder than usual, the camera crew's determined to wander off a cliff, and the gorgeous actress is fearless. Falling for River only makes Easton's job tougher, but there's only so long he can hold out against her brilliant smile. When bad weather strikes, putting everyone at risk, it'll take all of Easton's skill to get them back home safely...and convince River she should stay in his arms for good.

Wrapping up the Moose Springs trio, this one might have been my least favorite, but that’s not really saying much. Since I loved them all pretty equally. River and Easton’s banter was grade-A, top-notch, which is a one-way ticket to my reading-heart. Maybe part of the problem (I say problem like there really was one) was that most of the story took place on a mountain. I kind of wanted more small-town shenanigans, and updates on the condos and the state of the town and Graham being mayor. Still, this was very cute. I swooned multiple times. I’ll probably read anything Sarah Morgenthaler writes from here on out.

Seriously, What Is YA? Does Anyone Know?

The Beautiful by Renee Ahdieh

In 1872, New Orleans is a city ruled by the dead. But to   seventeen-year-old Celine Rousseau, New Orleans is a safe haven after   she's forced to flee her life as a dressmaker in Paris. Taken in by the sisters of the Ursuline convent in the middle of the carnival season,   Celine is quickly enraptured by the vibrant city, from its music to its fancy soirées and even its danger. She becomes embroiled in the city's glitzy underworld, known as La Cour des Lions, after catching the eye of  the group's enigmatic leader, Sébastien Saint Germain.

When the body of one of the girls from the convent is found in Sébastien's own lair--the second dead girl to turn up in recent weeks--Celine battles her attraction to Sébastien and suspicions about his guilt along with the shame of her own horrible secret.

After a third murder, New  Orleans becomes gripped by the terror of a serial killer on the  loose--one who has now set Celine in his sights. As the murderer stalks  her, Celine finally takes matters into her own hands, only to find  herself caught in the midst of an age-old feud between the darkest  creatures of the night, where the price of forbidden love is her life.

Like I said last month, I put a hold on pretty much everything Renee Ahdieh had written in my library. And this was just as good as the last series I read. Her world building is just—chef’s kiss, gorgeous. I dream of writing this airy, magical way, that makes you feel like you’re in New Orleans. That being said, I do not know what kid is reading this because apparently this is YA and I had to read every single word to figure out what was going on. Now, I know there are two more books in the series, but this one felt like a lot of set up and I spent most of it being like...will this make sense eventually? It did, but only during a very rushed climax of final few chapters. The sequel isn’t available on Kindle at the library, and I haven’t bought it yet. So, that’s probably kind of telling.

In Which You Cannot Always Depend On Old Favorites

No Judgments by Meg Cabot

When a massive hurricane severs all power and cell service to Little Bridge Island—as well as its connection to the mainland—twenty-five-year-old Bree Beckham isn’t worried . . . at first. She’s already escaped one storm—her emotionally abusive ex—so a hurricane seems like it will be a piece of cake.

But animal-loving Bree does become alarmed when she realizes how many islanders have been cut off from their beloved pets. Now it’s up to her to save as many of Little Bridge’s cats and dogs as she can . . . but to do so, she’s going to need help—help she has no choice but to accept from her boss’s sexy nephew, Drew Hartwell, the Mermaid Café’s most notorious heartbreaker.

But when Bree starts falling for Drew, just as Little Bridge’s power is restored and her penitent ex shows up, she has to ask herself if her island fling was only a result of the stormy weather, or if it could last during clear skies too.

I love Meg Cabot. That should be stated upfront and at the very beginning because for a very long time I have claimed that being Meg Cabot was my dream job. I’ve read pretty much every book Meg Cabot has ever written and was fairly certain I’d be into these once I did read them. Only I was...not. Not really. Everything in this book happened so quickly, I felt like I was the one in the hurricane. People were kissing and then they were having sex and there was a storm and pets and then—it was over? The pacing was all over the place, I had no idea why Drew and Bree liked each other, some guy kicked a dog at one point?? It was weird. Which leads us to—

No Offense by Meg Cabot

A broken engagement only gave Molly Montgomery additional incentive to follow her dream job from the Colorado Rockies to the Florida Keys. Now, as Little Bridge Island Public Library’s head of children’s services, Molly hopes the messiest thing in her life will be her sticky-note covered desk. But fate—in the form of a newborn left in the restroom—has other ideas. So does the sheriff who comes to investigate the “abandonment”.  When John Hartwell folds all six-feet-three of himself into a tiny chair and insists that whoever left the baby is a criminal, Molly begs to differ and asks what he’s doing about the Island’s real crime wave (if thefts of items from homes that have been left unlocked could be called that). Not the best of starts, but the man’s arrogance is almost as distracting as his blue eyes. Almost…

John would be pretty irritated if one of his deputies had a desk as disorderly as Molly’s. Good thing she doesn’t work for him, considering how attracted he is to her. Molly’s lilting librarian voice makes even the saltiest remarks go down sweeter, which is bad as long as she’s a witness but might be good once the case is solved—provided he hasn’t gotten on her last nerve by then. Recently divorced, John has been having trouble adjusting to single life as well as single parenthood. But something in Molly’s beautiful smile gives John hope that his old life on Little Bridge might suddenly hold new promise—if only they can get over their differences.

This isn’t a sequel SEQUEL, but another one of those “exists in the same universe,” or same town, as it were, and it was better than No Judgments. Molly and John actually had a few legitimate conversations before they started kissing. The conflict was still weird and sort of forced, this was not Meg’s usual banter (I fell like I can call her Meg at this point, y’know?) and, again, the ending just felt like it...happened. I don’t know guys, maybe I should just reread The Boy Is Back. Or that quasi Persephone-Hades series. It’s been awhile. On that one, at least. I read The Boy Is Back like six months ago.

ABSOLUTELY INFURIATING ROM COM THAT I CANNOT BELIEVE I FINISHED, SOMEONE GIVE ME A PRIZE FOR FINISHING THIS

Fight or Flight by Samantha Young

The universe is conspiring against Ava Breevort. As if flying back to   Phoenix to bury a childhood friend wasn't hell enough, a cloud of   volcanic ash traveling from overseas delayed her flight back home to   Boston. Her last ditch attempt to salvage the trip was thwarted by an   arrogant Scotsman, Caleb Scott, who steals a first class seat out from   under her. Then over the course of their journey home, their antagonism somehow lands them in bed for the steamiest layover Ava's ever had. And  that's all it was--until Caleb shows up on her doorstep. 

When pure chance pulls Ava back into Caleb's orbit, he proposes they enjoy their physical connection while he's stranded in Boston. Ava agrees, knowing her heart's in no danger since a) she barely likes Caleb and b) his existence in her life is temporary. Not long thereafter Ava realizes she's made a terrible error because as it turns out Caleb Scott isn't quite so unlikeable after all. When his stay in Boston becomes permanent, Ava must decide whether to fight her feelings for him or give into them. But even if she does decide to risk her heart on Caleb, there is no guarantee her stubborn Scot will want to risk his heart on her...

When I tell you guys that this was the worst book I have read in recent memory, I am not kidding. Might actually be the worst book I have ever read. Bar none. And that’s saying something because one time I had to read Ender’s Game in college and that, like, physically pained me. This was awful. Awful people. Awful plot. Awful resolution. AWFUL. Where to start? Well, I’m not going to apologize for spoilers, because God help us all, do not read this book. Ava has been through so many horrible things in her life it was like someone was trying to set a record. Bad parents, cheating ex-boyfriend, dead former best friend who was former because of the cheating ex-boyfriend. Naturally, this made her a control freak because—of course, or something. And Caleb! Oh my God, fucking Caleb Scott. The dickwad. I’ve never rooted for anyone to not get the girl more. When Ava “broke up” with him (they were never really together) I might have cheered. Shitty things does not give you an excuse to be a dick, and Caleb was a dick. Seriously, he started crying about how his ex-fiance KILLED THEIR BABY and I was like—this cannot possibly be a real book. It was! With lots of abortion opinions out of FUCKING nowhere, and weird possessive behavior from, like, every dude in it. Both Ava AND her best friend (not the dead one, a different one) got assaulted at one point. I kept reading solely because I was desperate to see how they rationalized Ava and Caleb getting back together at the end and they didn’t. He showed up on her flight when her boss came up with a fake work trip so he could sit next to her on the plane. What? WHAT?? It was so dumb. So bad. I can’t believe I read it. 

[stricken-with-clairvoyancy]

Prinxiety fic recs

Hey everyone, I know isolation is difficult, and a good majority of the fandom use fics as an escape mechanism, so hopefully some people can get a kick out of some of these. As my blog title suggests, I mostly just consume prinxiety content, so this list is for any prinxiety stans out there. Feel free to add on with your own fics or recs, regardless of ship! All fics are completed unless stated otherwise, to avoid giving anyone WIPlash. :)

First up, literally anything by the Queen of Prinxiety (and stunning writing in general) @coconut-cluster. Hers was one of the first blogs who’s writing I got really invested in, and her writing is like the equivalent of snuggling into a warm blanket in the sunshine. It’s good stuff y’all. Writing masterlist If you’re overwhelmed by how many incredible stories she’s written though, I gotchu fam, here are some of my favourites to get you started: Sciamachy, My dreams made music in the night, Snowball fight

Powerless by @impatentpending . One of the best stories I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading, better than most published literature I daresay. Seriously it’s just,,, so good!!! If you haven’t read it yet I highly recommend you do. You’ve got morally grey villains, you’ve got wit, you’ve got a hoverbike named Brendon Urie. It’s an all round good time, except when, you know, it’s angsty.

The To Love And Be Loved series by @virgilsjourney It’s so soft!!! So light and sweet and comforting!!! You’ve got hurt/comfort (heavy on the comfort) with a large helping of mutual pining, and it’s the perfect fic if you need a pick-me-up after a long day.

Butterflies by @creativenostalgiastuff . I live for techie Virgil and this fic does not disappoint. Incredibly cute, Roman gets the validation he deserves, 10/10.

My true love gave to me by @lovelylogans Honestly my favourite oneshot of all time, I giggle the whole way through when reading this. The sheer magnitude of their mutual pining,,, incredible. Genuinely this fic is so wonderful and funny and lighthearted and sweet and hhhhhhhhhh. Looking at her masterlist I’ve also come to realise that she’s written a lot of my favourites, so I’ll just link that here! :)

Wet blanket , Life of the party and Social grace by @tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors. A tad angsty, but so worth the read, and they more than make up for any potential hurt with the gratuitous fluff. Hella soft, superb writing. On another note, if you haven’t already, you should absolutely read their jaw-droppingly amazing series Love and other fairytales. Romantic lamp and a heck tonne of cool worldbuilding, gripping plot and fae galore, prepare to become thoroughly invested.

A dragon’s tail by @theeternalspace . This one had me on the edge of my seat you guys, it’s so gripping you’ll wanna stay up all night reading it. You’ve got prince!Virgil, you’ve got knight!Roman, you’ve got Dragon!Logan. Need I say more?

The most adorable Parents!Prinxiety headcanons you ever did read, by the incredible @thelowlysatsuma , with a tooth-rottingly sweet fic to go with it by @watchoutforthefanfics . You WILL get cavities and you WILL sob at the soft domesticity of it all.

@shakesqueer-writes is lowkey a Prinxiety GOD so I’m just gonna link you to their whole entire masterlist of masterpieces.

The phenomenal It’s only logical by @tinysidestrashcaptain . This one is incomplete, but it’s honestly so perfectly written that it’s going on here anyway. I can only dream of achieving Virgil’s level of sass in this fic, an absolute icon. It’s a flower shop au AND a coffee shop au babyyy.

I can only assume from the remarkable quality of the writing that Keep him safe by @whatwashernameagain gets recommended a lot, as it RIGHTLY DESERVES. This fic is also incomplete, but so worth waiting for, each new chapter is a sucker punch of emotions and the character development is second to none. I’d definitely heed the trigger warnings on this one though, it does handle (very well and realistically) some darker themes. There’s also a raccoon named Cat and I love her.

A get-together and getting together by @hickory-dickory-doc-k Fake! dating! Fake! Dating! Fake! Dating! Fak- Ok but for real though guys this one is so gosh darn cute I dropped everything on Christmas day to rush upstairs and read it when the last chapter came out and I was grinning so much lemme tell you. I’ve read a lot of fake dating aus in my time and this one honestly takes the cake.

(I’d never) want once from the cherry tree written by @ace-corvid with gorgeous art to go with it by @blank-ace . YouTuber au!!! Virgil gets to be the chaotic conspiracy guy we know he secretly longs to be, and Roman gets the adoring fanbase he deserves. The humour is also on point. I mean, Deceit’s name in Virgil’s contacts is Snake fursona man, and honestly if that doesn’t sell it, I don’t know what will.

Of trying and towers by @parsnipit . An oldie but a classic, this story is phenomenal. It’s got action! It’s got magical curses! It’s got so many dragons! It’s got highkey terrified but also kinda badass Virgil! It’s so good you guys, the plot and the family bonding and hhhhhhh dragons are so cool.

Destined by @rosesisupposes . Oooooh this one has such a fun premise. Virgil’s a sage (kind of like a seer) and is just kinda vibing with the humans until sh*t goes down, ft sass, flirting, pun-based bakeries, and a coffee machine named Gilda. It’s great. I love it.

Long live by @meginoi . It’s!!! Essentially a really cool princess diaries au!!! How rad is that? Virgil is pretty much permanently stressed, but Pat and Lo are supportive bros and he ;) has ;) Roman ;) there ;) to ;) help.

Falling (falling) by @basically-i-write-shit . Don’t let their url fool you this fic is honestly so gripping, I stayed up way into morning bingeing it. Be warned though, it does handle some pretty dark topics, so heed the trigger warnings. ft. single dad Virgil and babysitter Roman!

Inks and tallies by @skittlesun . Tattoo 👏 artist 👏 Roman 👏 Frick 👏 Yeah 👏 Also by the same author, the amazing fic The betting pool is an absolute delight. Flirting galore. Go read it pls.

Late night, long night by @crowleyspraisekink . Virgil’s in a tank top and Roman is Gay Panic tm. Adorable, superb, 10/10.

A curse is a dream your heart makes by @romansleftshoulderpad This oneshot is a long boi but my god you will enjoy every single second of it. Roman gets cursed by the Dragon witch to act out classic Disney movies with Virgil, and it’s honestly so entrancing. Phenomenal writing.

Queen of fluff @not-so-innocent-bi-sander has so much adorable fics that I’m gonna link their whole masterlist because you deserve to treat yourself to their writing, and I’m also gonna add some quick links to my faves here because I love them: The reunion, Romance in the air…port, Guitar lessons. The first fic of theirs I read is the series The view from here, and it was so heartwarmingly sweet that it helped distract me from some pretty bad cramps, so I highly recommend you go check that out if you need a cute pick me up. It’s incomplete, but it’s mostly fluff and ongoing, so you won’t be left on any cliffhangers.

Thespian by @random-snippets is a heart-wrenchingly sweet hurt/comfort fic that I wholeheartedly recommend. Roman puts on a play in the imagination but neglects to tell Virgil that his character straight up dies at the end, and Virgil is understandably distraught. It’s ok though, Virgil gets love and hugs! Also just check out their masterlist because their writing is absolutely sensational, especially their pining!Virgil LAMP fics.

Through different eyes by @stars-and-rose . Roman’s a warlock who’s been ‘kidnapping’ Patton in an endearing attempt to get the handsome knight’s ;) attention. Super cute and a fun read, honestly it’s adorable.

@today-only-happens-once is another phenomenal writer who’s masterlist I’m also gonna link because they’re all! So! Good!!! Here’s some of my faves: Exposure therapy ft Ace!Roman, Acoustic, Always

A hero’s rescue by @stillebesat . Villain!Roman and Hero!Virgil ft a healthy dose of hurt/comfort and a a really cool premise. I go back and re-read this one a lot!

Welcome to the neighbourhood by @lefaystrent is incomplete, but it’s so goddamn hysterical that it’s going on here anyway. Their comedic genius is astounding. Some more of my favourites of theirs include: Roamin’ nights, Flutter and fall, Rewrite

Blink and you’ll miss it and waterspout by @greenninjagal-blog are both lovely reads which I highly recommend. Seriously guys their writing is amazing, go check them out.

Sweet dreams and Petals red as blood by @candied-peach are both gorgeously written and I absolutely adore them, 10/10.

[steponmepinkjun]

I NEVER FINISHED MY STORY OMG. ok so i left off at being too proud to tell my friend she was right and kpop fucked hard. the difference between u and me is that i’m too good of a liar. too good. i kept up the “i hate kpop it’s cringe” facade for ALMOST TWO WHOLE YEARS, I SHIT YOU NOT. why? bc my dumb ass, extra ass, dramatic ass self thought “ok if i’m gonna have to deal with the embarrassment of admitting i’m wrong, i better do it in such an extra ass way it’ll knock ur socks off so hard that YOULL be the one embarrassed not me.” the original plan was to learn the entire choreography to bts dope, bc it’s the song that she told me to listen to and inevitably the song that got me into them, but later switched to bts fire bc i saw too many of those “choreo matches w any song” videos, and then her birthday party came up. and here’s the real kicker. her birthday is April Motherfuckin Fools. so it would be So Perfect for me to reveal my kpopism as a birthday present And a april fools prank in one. so i was Set on the Reveal being on april 1st, but the day rolls around and god that choreo is so fucking hard and i am Not a dancer. never have been. so i abandon that and go ykno what… i’ll do it Next Year. BC MY BITCHASS WAS LIKE NO THE MOMENT IS TOO PERFECT TO DO IT ON A NORMAL ASS DAY ITS GONNA BE ON APRIL FOOLS ON HER GODDAMN BIRTHDAY OR NOT AT ALL. a year rolls by, i’ve told most of our friends except her and they’re all in on it, i’d made so many subtle kpop references to her without her realising they were fully intentional and had too many scares where she almost figured me out but i lied my way out of it, and i’d given up on showing off with choreography bc i couldn’t make that shit look good. i’m not a dancer. i am, however, a rapper, and a damn good one, so i inhaled the agust d mixtape and decided i’d just rap the eminem of kpop’s anthem at her face. in korean. and change the lyrics at the end (if u haven’t listened to agust d, the bridge repeats “i’m sorry” a lot) to “i’m sorry i kept this from u for so long” and “i’m sorry i actually ult got7 not bts” (this was like the april after skz debuted ok i was holding onto got7 for dear life knowing full well skz we’re going to convert me smh) and the best part? she never saw it coming. her official present was a cd with a bunch of kpop on it but she thought it was just a personalised mixtape for her so i told her to play the first song out loud and she knew the song Instantly. it has a long intro so she was like “i guess u did listen when i recommended u this song!! i knew you’d like it since u like rap so much!!” and then i started rapping and i shit u not. she started SCREAMING. like the initial reaction was her jaw dropping and then instinctively covering her mouth but when i kept going and she realised i wasn’t fucking around she just fucking screamed like a banshee. at the end during the sorry bit i threw off my jacket to reveal a got7 shirt on the inside and she fell off her chair and started rolling around on the floor. needless to say it was every bit as satisfying as i thought it’d be LMAOOOO afterwards her ass was like “I CANT BELIEVE U HID THIS FROM ME FOR OVER A YEAR” and when i tried to explain my ego couldn’t take the “i told u so” she was like “you know i wouldn’t have made fun of you for it right? i would just be glad you’re not hating on my boys anymore” so basically i’m a big dramatic fool and she was always too good for me.

don’t mind the weird spaces here my ipad is being all fucky wucky w me rn. damn sad to hear ur sideblog experience didn’t go so well, i’d have shown u the cool side of the fandom if i knew 😤😤 leading u thru the cursed halls of kpop stan tumblr like a sketchy tour guide that’s actually 3 small raccoons stacked on top of each other like a trench coat, like “over here we have the fanfic writers that honestly need to publish a book, over here we have the gif makers that are responsible for my entire camera roll, if we take a quick swerve past the death threat anons and the twt fanwar screenshots - mind ur feet bub the 14 year olds were tryna make a grab for ur ankles - ah here’s the holy grail of shitposts, you might be here for hours, to the right we have the weird aussie side of the fandom that projects our childhoods onto chanlix but also all the members as we decide what their life in australia would’ve been like, and down there is a secret trapdoor to the blogs w endless random headcanons that will make you laugh, cry or blush depending on if the author woke up and decided to choose violence today. enjoy your Stay!” but then again i’m not so active on tumblr anymore (ngl you’ve become the highlight of my tumblr experience these days, interaction wise,) so maybe all my Local Hotspots are inactive now. i know a bunch of them are, it’s sad. “i don’t fw stan twitter for the same reason i don’t hang out in meth dens” oop. guess i’m a meth addict. no but i get u i rly do, it’s a hellhole out there, but the fact that things get shared and spread a lot easier than on tumblr and how short most things have to be (therefor keeping up w my adhd attention span without having to resort to the mental torture that is tiktok, with the added bonus of not always needing headphones.) that i just. couldn’t leave if i tried. maybe i should try being active on tumblr again but it’s a dying site in comparison.

“their music doesn’t consistently hit for me as much as skz” i’m sorry we can’t be friends anymore. what. what. you don’t dramama ramama ramama hey? you don’t feel a little jealousyyyyyy, naega anin? you don’t shoot out, shoot out, shoot out, or aremdaeun love killa love killa? you can’t be your hero du du du du du du du du du dududu? u disappoint me. literally like everyone i know who likes skz music likes mx music like it’s a rite of Passage. they’re kindred spirits, monsta x music is like skz’s music’s cool but mildly heterosexual older brother. neither of them know what a bad song is it runs in the family. and both their music runs in my VEINS. whenever i describe my music taste they’re always the first two that come to mind, skz being my number 1 bc they are my best boys but mx bc of the Flavour. pls listen to the entire the code album then get back to me 😤🙌 ok but fr ur so right they are 7 of the finest men i ever seen (yes i say 7 bc i’m including wonho cause he deserved better and i’ll die on my ot7 bullshit.) like don’t get me started on them either LOL i LITERALLY downloaded that one insta video of changkyun working out his back n arm muscles w his tattoo showing bc i needed that shit saved for Science. they could do Anything w me like frfr. yes vixx is the bdsm contract group i’m telling ya they wildin. or at least they were. it’s been years since their last comeback idk what they’re doing anymore tbh. and yeah that makes sense, savouring the hyperfixation i feel it, but also i’m so attached to skz that i never let it die. like i hyperfixate on other things and other groups but i will Always go back to skz cause they’re my homeboys. hell, they’re my home. being a predebut stay i’ve spent more time w skz than most of my actual family members at this point. but that’s just me you do u boo xx just know that if ur anything like me ur never letting go once skz it’s been my longest lasting fixation cause they hit like Nothing Else Do. ik i’ve already said that but i cannot stress it enough. they’re really special. i’m gonna stop here before i get all sappy and emotional bc i really love those boys so fucking much and i don’t drop the L bomb often. SIDE NOTE I WOULD LIKE TO SEE UR LIST OF GROUPS RANKED BY THORSt. i need to judge ur Taste. and omg cat&dog is such a guilty pleasure song bc the lyrics make me cringe so much bc while pet play can be fun they be doing it in more of an “i’m an innocent soft dogboy uwu” kinda way that just Does Not Sit Right with me. it comes back to the objectifying of asians that asians themselves don’t help in industries like these and maybe i’m looking too far into it when rly it is just wholesome n cute or maybe they are into some pet play shit idk idc i will bop to the song regardless but i will not acknowledge the lyrics nope.

YOURE RIGHT THO SKZ’S OPENNESS IS IN FACT, A BIG DEAL, i’ll grab them for u if u want but i found these twt threads of skz supporting the lgbt community and i just felt a special kind of happiness man like sure the delusional part of me likes going “haha they’re gay” bc my brain likes to imagine them as my polycule of mlm boyfriends bc sometimes thats what gives me the serotonin to get me thru the day ok don’t judge but also bc it’s nice knowing that yes i’ll never know them personally, but at least i can support them knowing they’d respect my gender identity and my pronouns, they’d respect who i choose to love, and that’s already more than the general public can say so shit, it is special! it’s special that they don’t treat being cishet like the norm - they constantly remove gender from their songs and speech entirely, they don’t assume all stays are female anymore, we don’t talk abt the babygirls incident cause we got babystays in the end outta that ok, and it’s just. so refreshing and important to me bc i can’t get that anywhere else!! like my semi ults are the boyz and while i love them very much and there’s no way all 11 of them are straight i refuse, i do get just a little bit sad whenever they she/her their fandom by default and call them their girlfriends n shit even tho i do still identify as a girl, i’m also genderfluid/nonbinary/transmasc, and i have a very love/hate relationship w my womanhood and rarely use she/her pronouns, cause it’s like, do you not see me? see us? the ones who aren’t cishet women? i mean i know kevin does bc he congratulated a fan who came out as nb but it’s just not the same as the openness we get w skz. like how do i trust cishets i could be supporting them as a queer person when in reality they’d call me a slur. what would i know, behind the screen? so it’s so good that skz go the extra mile to make it a safe space for everyone. this is already long enough i will reply to the second half of that ask in another message… tomorrow cause it’s 1am and i’m tired gn -felix bi anon

I'mma have to start putting these under a readmore so that i don't absolutely make everything who is still following me for some reason go totally fucking insane 😂

NDJDHWJJAHFNAKBSJSBFBHHDBDNAJD YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE FACES I WAS MAKING READING THIS, I WAS FUCKING CACKLING AND GASPING EVERY OTHER SENTENCE SO HARD THAT I SCARED THE CATS NDJWHSHSB the fact that you went "oh you want me to get into kpop? Give me a hot minute, and I'll give you a whole ass private concert for free" biduehsjdbd biiiiiiiiiiitch you're a fucking ICON, I stg I could NEVER 😂 (and not just because I couldn't find a tune if you gave me a printed set of Google maps directions and that I embody the steriotype that white people can't dance, like my sister kept sensing me tiktoks of the whole "dance like a white girl" trend going lmfao look it's you and eventually I was like "sis please this trend has me feeling like being white is a disability and these mothafuckers are being ableist 😭 also I could NEVER be that on beat so yall ain't even doin it right 😭😭😭😭"). Tbh if I told one of my friends (lol what friends, i got jokes) to get into Skz and they showed up at my bday and performed the entirety of I Got It I would simply shower them in money and go "aight everyone else go home, you are no longer needed, you are being laid off, your position has been eliminated, we're downsizing, the company is moving up and you're moving out, you are not qualified for this role any longer, best of luck with future endeavors" 😊

I think part of the reason I can't deal w Twitter is the exact reason I refuse to leave tumblr, in that I've been on tumblr since 2006 and twt since 2008, and tumblr literally has not changed at all, not even a little, whereas going from the early days of twt where there were no corporate sponsorships or ads and you had to manually copy and paste someone's tweet and @ them to retweet it, to how it is now, like 90% ads and showing me shit from the timelines of people I don't even fuckin follow n whatnot, it's just not enjoyable. Idk how anyone finds anything on twt, it confuses and frustrates me because I am old and have not adapted well to technology changing 😂 But arguably, the skz fanbase doesn't want me on skztwt anyways so like it works for both of us lmfaooo. I am old and cringey, and also still think of twt as stream of consciousness whereas tumblr is your teenage bedroom where you can decorate the walls with anything that interests you. I do really love the nonsensical kpoptwt shitposts tho fhshsbdjjss like it is a very specific flavor of mental instability that I enjoy immensely 😂 OH and also I initially misread part of that and thought you were saying you actually irl do meth and I was like 😳 WHAT DO I SAY TO THAT. HOW DO I HANDLE THIS. Like how do I express like "I wasn't being judgy of people who use substances cause I've been there but I was just being insensitive 😳" And then went back and reread it and was like WHEW, IM JUST AN ILLITERATE FOOL 😂😂😂😂 ejeywhdhrhjwbfbdjshdhdhd I spent like an hour bwign like "IS THE REASON WE GET ALONG BECAUSE THEY'RE ON METH???? WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS INFORMATION??????" hrhehshe I am literally a fuckin idiot it's fine

It's not that I don't fw them, it's more like... Okay so like there is no situation in which I am going to skip a skz song if it comes on shuffle. You will not ever catch me NOT in the mood to listen to Sunshine, if God's Menu comes on we are THROWIN the meager amount of booty meat I got hither and thither, I could be in the happiest mood of my life but if Ex comes on I will stop to SOB. And I'm not like that with most music, so mx just falls into the category of "there is a time and place." Idk why but it just doesn't forcibly grab hold of my heart and ass the way skz always does. I really don't WANT my skz fixation to ever end, but I know that eventually it'll stop giving me dopamine bevause my brain is my worst fucking enemy 🙃 like my arcana fixation is to date the longest running hyperfixation I've ever had, going on almost three years, and I used to not be able to spend every single second of every day thinking about Asra, but now... I just feel nothing when I look at arcana stuff. As you can probz tell by the fact that I hardly post arcana anymore 😂 So I know that eventually all my happiness will end, it always does, I can never stay just as obsessed with something as I was for long. I CANT SHARE THE LIST BECAUSE I DONT *HAVE* TASTE YET 😭 I'm basically just compiling a list of any group someone tells me I should look into, ranked by how strong the kitty purred upon googling pics of them 😂 My mom read my ass to FILTH over txt lmfao she was like "they're not that adorable. Maybe your standard for adorableness has gone down with You Know Who still on hiatus 🤔" bfjwhdhd like MOMMAAAAA THE LIBRARY IS CLOSED 😂 she attacks me any time I even hint at stanning other groups, she is a skz purist and stans skz only, unofficial Momma Stay of All Stays keeping me in check lmfao.

I feel like skz really do follow thru on their promise that they're a safe space for stays, it's nice to see that they hold space for anyone and everyone in their fanbase and do it in a really simple and elegant way, I feel. Like they never make it seem like "okay here are the fans and here are the token weirdos that were only recognizing to make a buck off of them" the way a lot of artists make it feel like 😑 like they don't go out of their way to act like it's some revolutionary act to do the bare minimum of not shitting on certain parts of the fandom, if that makes sense. They feel very "yeah, of course we love all our stays, this is a welcoming space for literally anyone, that's how it should be, that should be normal," instead of like "Hi fans we love you 😊 and special shoutout to you ell gee bee tee folk, make sure to buy my rainbow merch after the show!!!" you know? Like, they're the friends who would never make you feel weird or different for some shit, the friends that take the attention off you if something they know ur sensitive about comes up, instead of weirdly snapping at whoever brought the unfomfy thing up which ruins the mood and makes you feel tiwce as bad, yk? They just give off this vibe that they, and the space they create with their music, is just a genuine and chill place to be and hang out and relax and bond. I feel like they'd be the friend group that is so goofy and sweet and silly and accepting and lovely and always makes you feel loved and excited to be alive 🥺 They are all good noodles 🥺🥺🥺

[lovecomedy]

Fanfic recommendations nobody asked for

Those are my favorite wincest fic ever, just because. They are all complete. I’ll add the summaries together with my own two cents.

Consider the Hairpin Turn by cherie_morte. 27K Words

AU of 6x22: Sam's wall has shattered and the memories in his mind have splintered. When the Sam who remembers Hell tells him to go find Jess and be happy, Sam knows he can't stay while Dean needs him. But when the Sam from Hell says that Dean is already there looking for him, Sam leaves his memories of the pit behind to find him.

What he finds is a life he doesn't remember: a house that he shares with his brother (and has for years), a law career he thought he'd left behind at Stanford, and a relationship with Dean he never dreamed he could have. Life is almost too good to be true, at least until Sam begins to hear his brother's voice calling to him, begging him to wake up.

This is my favorite fic of all times. It’s beautifuly written. The way that it narrates Sam’s trauma of Hell is what keeps me coming back for more . Honestly it should be published as a book. Don’t worry, it has very happy scenes and there’s a happy ending

Welcome to the Neighborhood by ImogenPortchester. 2K Words

Dean thinks the new neighbors are interesting, but all is not what it seems.

Super short. Super heartbreaking.

Fics by leonidaslion

I mean first off, just read everything written by leonidaslion

Sing Your Hymns Like Angels In Defeat. 32K Words. 

And Lucifer Fell for a second time with the burning brilliance of a star. The Flare shone in his wake, and darkness fell upon the land ...

Dean goes blind, and I love how it describes Dean’s stuggles with it. You feel like you’re blind with him. Really, really, REALLY well written. Should probably also be a book

Fumbling in the Dark: Love Advice For the Romantically Impaired. 72K

True Love really is blind...

It’s basically a character study of every single episode of the first 5 seasons, with a wincest twist. Slow burn. Holy shit, is it a slow burn. 

Just Say My Name. 3K Words

Dean turns into a complete and utter nympho. It takes Sam a while to notice the difference.

Funny, lighthearted and porny

Hush. 2K Words

Motel walls are thin...

Discovery!kink. Sam and Dean try to have quiet sex while John is in the other room. At least, Dean is trying

Sam Winchester and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. 15K Words

Sometimes, you just shouldn't get out of bed in the morning ...

Fics by fleshflutter

Dark Side of the Moon. 20K Words

Cursed!Dean is deaf and blind. Sam deals.

The incestuous courtship of the antichrist's bride. 48K Words

Sam is trying to become the Antichrist in order to save the world. He has a small army of angels and demons, he has an adoring cult, he has a work of prophecy by Jack Kerouac, and he has Dean. Things are going pretty well until he accidentally signs Dean up as his Beloved Consort, a role that requires sex with the Antichrist on an altar. And that's when things stop going pretty well. Also, the soundtrack to the Apocalypse sucks.

I don’t like crack fics, but goddamn this one is FUNNY. You can tell a lot of thought was put into this freaking masterpiece

Captured by the Game by rivkat. 54K Words

AU. Azazel has given his favorite son a task: worm his way into the confidence of a hunter. It sounds simple, but Dean Winchester just might be more than Sam can handle.

It wasn’t real by NaughtyPastryChef. 1K Words

Sam is trying to explain to Dean where he was when Dean was stuck in purgatory. It starts with "I hit a dog" and then, suddenly, inexplicably, they both know exactly where Sam was.

Wonderful explanation for that arc in season 8 nobody can stand. Plus, time travel, which I’m always a sucker for

Backseat of My Brother's 67 Chevy by NaughtyPastryChef. 1K Words

Extended scene from "Baby". Dean's feeling proud of Sam's hookup until he hears that Sam tried to give that waitress his number. Uncharacteristically, he lets Sam force him to talk about it. 

Bury My Old Soul, and Dance on its Grave by  dreamlittleyo. 2K Words

Dean knows how far he can push Sam.

Antichrist!Sam and Consort!Dean. Codependent winchesters. Yeah

Graveside Blues by hunenka. 3K Words

He uses his body like a blanket, like a shield.

I like how protective Sam is of Dean here, and it deals with something I don’t see a lot such as the jealousy he would have of Dean’s bond with Amara

own it by orphan_account. 6K Words

But he's never going to be able to burn the image of Sam cradling one hand around the perfect curve of Dean's face, dropping the other to the cut of Dean's hip (made for fingers and tongues to trail down, to taste), walking Dean backward until Dean is flush against the wall and Sam is flush against him. This is something that can't be denied.

John finds out. Explores the wonderful trope of both Sam and his father being possessive of Dean, and being very antagonistical to each other. Dysfunctional family yay. Also very porny

Fics by astolat

Punxsutawney. 9K Words

* astolat thinks any plot worth doing is worth doing TWICE

This is the Mistery Spot plot, but a little different. Sam AND Dean wake up to the same day over and over again. So they talk.

Kings and Queens and Jokers, Too. 4K Words

"Yeah, you boys nailed that trickster real good," Bobby said, dry as dust.

People are acting weird around the brothers. Can’t really say anything else without spoiling it. Listen just do yourself a favor and read it. 

options. 500 Words

Decisions, decisions. 

Short and funny. Little bit porny

Desired. 2K Words

He hadn't even known about any of this himself until Sam found it, figured it out for him. He hadn't known how it was going to be.

So, smut. They have a better time when Dean is the one who asks for it

Rockabye Sammy... by  AnotherWorld3111. 1K Words

Sam can’t sleep, so Dean tries to help.

Sam keeps hallucinating Lucifer. Dean is worried and protective of him. Porny

We Know Each Other As We Always Were by mickeym. 45K Words

In 1941, while the world is at war, Sam Winchester falls in love with his brother. They're young, they're in love, and in spite of the hardships of life around them, the world is a pretty good one for them. Until Dec. 7th, 1941, when Japan launches an air attack on Pearl Harbor, sending the US to war against Japan. Dean Winchester feels he needs to join the Army; needs to help fight the good fight and help save lives. He promises he'll return, but can he keep that promise?

GAH this is so romantic! It’s an AU, but I feel like they’re very in character. It feels like a novel

For The End of My Broken Heart by Wickedtruth. 59K Words

Dad's disappeared and Sam's left to pick up the pieces of his broken brother. Post Devil's Trap AU.

Very codependent Winchesters. Also John finds out. 

here at the end of all things by  remy (iamremy). 40K Words

AU from Season 12 onwards. The British Men of Letters win in the USA, and slowly manage to establish their bases and authority over the whole country. They also capture Sam Winchester and keep him prisoner for eleven months, experimenting on him regularly before wiping his memories so that he has no idea what has been done to him.

Even after Dean rescues him and they begin planning to get revenge once and for all, the niggling doubt at the back of Sam's head remains -- what did they do to him? Why won't his anxiety get better? And what is it that he's missing?

Ok you got me, this is gen. But the whole fic feels like a (good) Supernatural episode, it’s so realistic and canon-like. The relationship between the brothers is just like the one we see on the show, meaning desperately codependent and wincest in every subtext.

Fics by deadlybride / zmediaoutlet

What I like about @zmediaoutlet is that she takes the time to write everyone in character. It’s always as canonical as possible and it feels real

femme. 4K Words

Rummaging around the internet, Dean finds a kink he hadn't seen before; Sam explains, and demonstrates.

I love feminization, but unfourtunately there’s only one fic that does it right, and it’s this one

gratification. 2K Words

It's not a compulsion. Dean just likes it.

breña. 1K Words

Sam and Dean wait, knowing what's coming.

The night before Sam jumps in the box

not the good things, nor the bad. 20K

Dean wavers in a grey area between being taken and giving in.

Part of it started with the kinks series, but you can read this just fine without the other parts. It deals very beautifully with Dean’s thoughts regarding his bond with Amara and his sexuality

DeMille Has Nothing On Us by  HandsAcrossTheSea. 13K Words

"Hey Dean - wanna film it?"

This is part of the Those Hazy Days I Do Remember series, but you can 100% read it as a stand-alone, no problem. Sam and Dean film each other and this has that season 1 vibe, of just two brothers on the road. It’s slightly OOC, just because of how touchy-feely they are. But that’s something I sometimes wish we could have on the show, anyway

How many floors to realize by Lazy Daze. 26K Words

AU from the end of It’s A Terrible Life, in which Zachariah decides to keep stringing them along a little while longer, because damn if they aren’t somewhat entertaining, right?”

Rabid by i-am-therefore-i-fight 

Beautiful!! I love @i-am-therefore-i-fight‘s take on demon!dean. It’s different to what we’re used to. This fic is very angsty but has a happy ending

Bitten by a True Believer by kermiethefrog. 3K Words

“C’mon, Sammy,” Dean says. Flashes him a wicked grin, charcoal-eyes. The way he spreads out on Sam’s mattress, bare and offering himself up like Holy fucking Communion, drums heat under Sam’s skin, and he’s never sure if it’s arousal or anger when he’s faced with the demon. “Show me a good time, big guy.”

Another demon!dean fic. I like how even as he is a demon, he is still desperate for Sam’s attention

The Time Traveler's Brother by  AmyPond45. 54K Words

Dean's life is turned upside down the night his mother dies. But that's also the night a mysterious grown-up version of Dean's brother first appears in his life. While Dean grows up, "Old Sam" is often there, especially when Dean's father isn't. As Dean learns what the future holds, he begins to question everything his father has taught him about who he is and what he is supposed to become. Can Dean find a way to save his little brother from his own future?

This is based on The Time Traveler’s Wife, which is my favorite book. Don’t worry, you don’t have to have read it to understand this fic

need against need against need by dollylux. 5K Words

Jack spends his first night in the bunker with Sam and Dean. (Jack POV)

Don’t worry, Jack just watches and ponders about the Winchester’ realationship

the centre cannot hold by orphan_account. 6K Words

Sam does not remember; Dean does. All Dean can do is watch, and mourn.

But then Castiel becomes God, and the world starts to break at the edges (and maybe that isn't a bad thing.)

It kinda becomes a character study, while the brothers deal with what happened during the Soulless!Sam period

The Last Temptation by bccalling. 1K Words

When Sam tells Mary about all the things he and Dean get up to in the dark, Mary wants in, and Sam sees his opportunity to make Dean’s every fantasy come true.

Mary shows up. Porny and very sweet

Angels and Demons by  OhWilloTheWisp. 9K Words

AU angels and demons are animals. Sam was not happy when his owner, Ruby, left him boarded at a kennel. He was even less happy when he discovered an angel in the same facility. But his encounter with the angel will end much differently than anyone would have guessed. He may have never expected his mate to be angel, but now that's found him he won't let anyone keep them apart.

Sam and Dean are kinda like animals here but there’s nothing sexual. It’s very sweet and romantic. Anna/Ruby in here as well

[lovechrisevansimagine]

The Fairytales Trip

Pairing: Chris Evans x Female!Reader

Warnings:  fluff, slight cursing

Part: 2/??

Description: Your annual trip to Disney with your family changes drastically when you meet Chris and his family at your hotel, your families get along so well that they decided to join until the rest of the trip. A whole week with your favorite actor in the most magical place on earth… where will this end?

Author’s Note: I really hope you enjoy it. Please give your feedback, constructive criticism is always welcomed. :)

Word Count: 2,809

“It’s me or this line isn't moving?” Scott said annoyed.

You look for the time and it said that the line was 1 hour long. You’ve been there for 30 minutes, 15 minutes since the Evans family joined you and your family on the line.

“I’m pretty sure everybody in the line has this impression, Scott.” Chris said. You smirk.

“I don’t know why you’re complaining so much, honestly. This line is three times worse after 11 AM. Plus, you didn’t even wait since the beginning of the line.” You said as you leaned against a wooden bar.

Chris looked at you with a smile on his face. God, did he have any idea how incredibly handsome he is?  “Yes, because you are the coolest person there is and let us in.”

“I really hope you keep that in your mind, Evans.”  You said, not impressed.

“What do you mean?” You laughed.

"Well, maybe I can use that for my benefit later... who knows?" You said with a smile. He smirked and approached you. His body was really close to yours, you could feel the warm coming from it and the only thing you could think of was wanting him to touch you. It was almost like if you needed him to touch you.

“Oh, I see how it is…” You looked at him and he had a different kind of shine in his eyes. "You want the payment of your favor.”

“It’s not payment. It would be a ‘thank you, y/n for let us in on the line instead of waiting an hour.” He laughed.

“And to think I thought you were being nice.” You lifted an eyebrow.

“You’re just getting to know me, Chris. I have two sides: the good and the bad one.” You said while observing the line moving. You could feel the intense gaze that he was giving you, but you refuse to look into his eyes. You could swear you heard “oh fuck”, but you can’t think about it too much.

“So what made you guys change universal to magic kingdom?” Your dad asks and you look at them with your arms crossed, wondering the same thing. Chris looks at the ground and pretends he didn’t listen the question and Scott looks at Chris in an awkward way.

What the hell was going on?

After seconds without saying anything, Scott said.

“Oh, you know, Chris –“ Chris lifted his gaze from the floor to Scott and you could feel him censoring his brother. “ah… Chris and the kids love this place, so I decided to change the plans because family supports one another.” He said the last part exaggerating his tone, there must be something behind all that. You just couldn’t believe in that story, you knew something was off. But it was family stuff, so you let it go. For now.

Chris pretended to laugh. “Very funny, Scott. So what time did you guys came?” Suddenly he changes the subject and it becomes even more evident that he didn’t wanted to talk about it.

“Around eight AM.” Your dad said. “And you guys?”

Chris's cheek looks flushed and you could swear that he never looked so cute until now, you were hypnotized. He started to stutter.

“Am-no-not long, actually. We arrived at nine, almost ten AM.” He looked really weird.

“How did you guys knew where we were?” You asked them and Chris cheek seemed even more red. You were amused.

“Actually, it was pure luck.” Lisa said with an smile on her face but it didn't reach her eyes. “It was Shanna's idea to go this way.”

Shana looked at you and nodded. “Yeah, I thought that you might leave your favorite part of the park for the end..” She said.

He was talking about you for his sisters? The idea made your heart race.

“Not that I was talking about you…” He added quickly, almost like if he had read your mind. You look at him with frowned eyebrows. “Not that I wasn’t talking about you… I mean…. We were talking about you guys in general and I commented that your favorite place of the park was mine too.” He finished.

You looked at your mother and she was looking at you like ‘wow’.

"Ok..." You said as you followed the line that was moving again. You look at Shanna and she was holding back the laughter. "What is it?" You asked her. She took a deep breath to control herself.

“Nothing, darling. It’s just the kids, they always say something funny to me.” You nodded with a smile.

“They are so beautiful… make me wish my nephews were here too.” She looks at you smiling and you start a conversation about your families. After 15 minutes, you, Lisa, your mom, your dad and Carly were laughing at family stories.

“Oh God, y/n have a funny story like that.” You mother said. Oh God. “She always had this thing with pools. So one day…” You interrupted.

“Look, it is our turn!” They looked and it really was our turn.

“Oh no, I really wanted to hear the story!” Chris said suddenly in your side. You gave him a look like ‘keep dreaming’ and you entered the wood trunk, he followed you and sit on your side. You look at your back and saw Lisa and Carly, Shanna and Scott, and in the last one was your mom and dad. Ethan were in the middle of Shanna and Scott, Stella in the middle of Lisa and Carly.

“Miles, why don’t you sit with us?” You said and felt Chris gaze on you.

“Yeah, buddy. Come sit with us.”

Miles look at you with a shy smile and sits in the middle of you two. You smile at him and the ride begins. You noticed he was holding the iron bar tight.

“So Miles, what pose do you want to do in the picture?” You ask him. He looks at you and thinks for a few seconds.

“I like silly faces.” He said.

“Oh, alright!” You said. “Like this?” You started to make a lot of silly faces to him and he and Chris laughed at you.

“Yes!” He said while laughing. “I really liked the last one.”

“This one?” You do it again and he laughed for real this time. “Ok, how about the three of us make this face together for the picture?” He nodded.

“I really liked this idea.” Chris said with a huge smile on his face and you smirked at him. The way he was looking at you made your body tremble, it was like he had a certain affection for you. But you must be crazy, right? You literally met him last night.

When the wood trunk started to go up, you broke the visual contact. This man is messing up with you.. oh, God. When you reached the top, you could hear the screams of the people falling and you could seemed Miles were nervous again.

“Hey, if you feel nervous you can hold my hand, how is that?” You whispered in his ears and he give you a smile. He nodded. Then it began to get up again and once you were at the top, the famous song started to play.

“Oh God!” Scott said out loud.

“What is it?” Lisa asked.

“I just freaking hate this song!” He said annoyed.

“How can you hate this song?” Chris asked.

“How can you like this song? It stays in your head until you die.”

“Drama!” You said laughing.

“I’m going to sing this song for you all day to see the drama.” Scott said.

“And you thought that I was the dramatic one.” Your dad said to your mother and everybody laughed.

In the first fall, you feel Miles's hand reaching for yours, then you grabbed his and felt a little cold in your belly, but it was just a little.

“Oh God, this song is louder now!” Scott said and you could only laugh.

“Oh, Scott. I love you so much, but you can be a pain in the ass.” Lisa said and you heard the children laughing this time.

Scott stayed in silence.

“I think someone got mad.” Chris said.

“Oh, shut up, Christopher! You’re the one who cries every goddamn time we ride haunted mansion!”

“Wait, what?!” You said laughing very hard this time.

You look at Chris and he was embarrassed and angry.

“Scott! What the fuck?” He was interrupted by Shanna.

“Christopher!” He looks at her and she pointed the kids. He apologizes.

“Uh, I think someone got mad!” Scott repeat what he said before.

“Kids! For God’s sake! You’re behaving worse than your nephews!” Lisa said laughing.

You are still laughing at the imagine of Chris Evans AKA the captain America crying on haunted mansion. No one’s will ever prepare you for this type of information.

“Just to be clear, I just cry because I hate being scared.” Chris said defending himself.

“Oh yeah, because the haunted mansion is really scary.” You said teasing him and he blushed.

“Thank you so much, Scott.” Chris said.

“Anytime, bro.”

You were so busy laughing that you just realized that the biggest fall was coming when Miles took your hand. You smiled at him and looked at Chris, he was looking at your hands with a huge smile on his face. He looked very happy.

“Ok, guys! Time for the picture!” Chris said and made the silly face, so were you and Miles. Then the wood trunk falls, you feel a strong cold feeling on your belly but you keep your silly face on. When the ride finished, you got off and noticed Chris waiting for you.

“Do you think it worked?” You ask.

“What worked?”

“The picture.” He shrugged.

“I don’t know. Let’s find out.” You went to the photo session and your mouth dropped when you saw the picture. It was… “Amazing!” Chris said. “This is my all time favorite picture!” He laughs.

Chris was showing his tongue with wide eyes like a dog, Miles was with his mouth wide open, you were giving an exaggerated kiss to the camera with a peace sign. It was great, but when you looked the rest of the people you really laughed. “Oh my God, Scott!” You called him and he went in your direction. “Look at your face!” He was grabbing Shanna in the arm and was screaming, Shanna was laughing really hard and Ethan was making the rock sign with his hand and showing his tongue. In the back were Lisa, who was giving horns to Scott with her hands and smiling, Carly clutching Stella strongly with wide eyes and Stella who what with her arms up laughing. Your dad pretended to sleep with his eyes closed and his arms crossed, and your mother were with her head on your father shoulder pretended to be bored.

“Holy shit! That’s literally the best picture ever.” Scott said.

“I loved the bored face, mom.” You said to your mother and she laughed. “Oh, God I need this picture.”

The photo was very funny, but that wasn’t exactly the reason why you wanted to buy it so much, it was because you wanted to have something that reminded you that this moment with him was real. Than when you would go back to your normal life, you would look at the picture when you missed it, because you know you will.

Your family and Chris’s bought the picture.

You all leave the ride and you were still looking at the photo. You really did look like a family, you almost felt like that too.

“What are you thinking?” You heard his voice really close to your ear and his hands reached your back. You feel as if your skin is on fire and shivers all over your body. You look at him and he has an intense gaze on you.

“Nothing.” You said. “Something silly.”

He frowned his eyebrows. “It can't be silly. C’mon.”

“It’s just… this picture, truly looked like we…” He interrupted.

“Like we were a family?” You nodded. “It’s funny that we met only yesterday, but… I do feel like that. It just seems..” You interrupted this time.

"We've known each other for longer than this." He nodded and smiled at you, you got lost in those eyes. You could not believe he felt that way too.

“What’s the plan? What are you want to do next?” Scott asked.

“How about big thunder? Since we're close” Chris suggested.

You look at your parents knowing that they would want to go too, so you agree.

“Look, kids want to go to the bathroom now, so I guess we'll do it later, but you should go. Please, don’t wait for us.” Carly said.

“Yeah, please. Go if you want to, but I have to help Carly.” Lisa said and Shanna agreed with her.

“What?” Scott asked and you could swear you saw Lisa pinching him. He look at her and then look back at you and Chris.

“Oh, yeah! You know what? I have to go to the bathroom too, so..” He said.

"You know what? I think your mother and I are going to buy food." Your father said and your mother agreed.

“What?” It was your turn to ask that.

“Yeah, but go ahead both of you… please, don’t wait for us.” Shanna said and they left.

They fucking left.

It’s your impression or your families are trying to set you up with Chris?

You looked at Chris and he was in shock, just like you. “Should we go then?” You asked and he simply nodded. You started to get nervous, because it was one thing to be with Chris in the presence of his family, another very different thing was to be alone with him. You took a deep breath and tried to control yourself.

You’ve got this Y/N.

It was about 25 minutes that you two were waiting in the line together when you decided to ask a question that was in your head. “Can I ask you a question?” He nodded. “How did you find me? I mean, I know Lisa said it was lucky, but it seemed like it was a lie.”

Suddenly he gets nervous. "Oh, it wasn’t a lie." He was obviously lying. "My mother did not explain it correctly. It was really lucky, we came and started to discuss where you could be and Shanna thought you were going to leave your favorite ride last because ..." He stopped.

“Because?” You asked.

“It was something that I would do.” He bites his lips nervously and looks at you making your heart race a lot. Wow.

“I guess we are really similar.” He took a step and you were extremely close. One more step and your bodies would collide and that’s something you really wanted. You could feel the warmth of his body and feel his warm breath. He smiled at you and his hand traveled across your skin, caressing and feeling it.

“So soft…” He whispered and you felt his body in yours. Fuck, you mouth was as dry as the desert. “Can I tell you something?” You nodded.

“I think you’re…” He was interrupted.

“Excuse me, but is your turn guys.” A male voice said behind you and your shoulders dropped. What on earth he was going to say?

“Oh, sorry.” You said and got on the train.

People barely sat down as the train began to move. You were squeezed into the seat because of Chris's size, but you did not care. Not at all. When the train reaches the top, it gets very fast. The whole ride seemed like seconds and you grabbed Chris's hand in fright. You two leave the ride completely in shock.

“It was this fast when you came for the first time?” He asked.

“Holy shit, absolutely no! I don’t remember of being this violent, geez.” You said trying to catch a breath.

“Me neither, what the fuck?!” He said and you laughed. His laughter died slowly as you noticed that your hands were still holding each other. He noticed and began to stroke your hand with his thumb. Your cheeks turned red and he smiled even wider.

“We should go find the others now?” You asked.

He smirk. “I don’t want to share you yet. What if we go on a little adventure together?”

“Are you kidnapping me?” You asked.

“Oh, hell yes. So what do you say? Are you up for the adventure?” He asked doing the captain America voice. Your legs trembled.

A few more moments with him? You only had one answer to this question.

“How can I say no to that, captain?”

Tag list: @thatfangirl16 @firecatcher007 @cookies-and-cream-forever @j-j-ehlby-writes @ajosieface @cocomel0613

[blurred-letters]

all that glitters [ pt.1] ;

 ✘ — author: blurred-letters

✘ — pairing: reader x jimin

✘ — rating: 18+, eventual smut

✘ — summary: a certain tame impala song inspires you and jimin to just go with the flow.

“All the others seem shallow, all this running around - ”

Your eyes blissfully slip closed as the lyrics to Tame Impala’s Let it Happen wash over your skin. The thump of the bass reverberates against your body and you allow the rhythm of one of your favorite songs to lull your hips into a gentle roll. To your left, you could practically feel the energy radiating off of Hoseok and Jungkook as they swayed to the beat and belted out the lyrics with surprising accuracy. A small smile tugs at your lips. It always brought you joy to see your friends cutting loose and enjoying themselves. The arrival of your last year together at University brought with it a bittersweet sense of urgency, as all of you knew that the end of your carefree time together was near. 

Gone would be the spontaneous road trips and all-nighters spent staring up at the stars, only to be replaced with nine to five shifts and real-life responsibilities. The thought of the bond you all shared loosening often tugged at your heartstrings, but it also made the moments you spent together that much more meaningful. Hence why all of you were here right now, attending Coachella. The way you saw it, this music festival provided the perfect opportunity for one last hurrah before your final semester ended and reality came at you in full.

“Seems like those two are in their own little world over there.” The sound of an all-to-familiar voice in your ear sent your thoughts plummeting back down to Earth. Caught up in the euphoria of hearing your favorite song, you had almost forgotten that Jimin was right behind you; head lolling back and forth to the beat. “They really are, aren’t they?” You chuckled, watching a dazed Hoseok grab Jungkook’s balled fist like a microphone and bellow out the next line in a ridiculous baritone. 

Instantly you wished that the rest of the guys were around to witness this spectacle, but with your group being made up of such a wide variety of music tastes, there was no way you could all agree on every set. Namjoon and Yoongi had opted to stop by Childish Gambino while Seokjin and Taehyung decided to call it a night and head back to the AirBnB. That left the four of you up to your own devices. 

Truth be told, you couldn’t really say you minded. The warmth of Jimin’s clothed chest against your back felt heavenly as he moved against you. Again, his breath tickled against the shell of your ear as he spoke, sending tremors down your spine. “Must mean the stuff Kook picked up works. Speaking of which… how are you feeling?” A small smirk appeared at the corner of your lips, “Fan-fucking-tastic” you replied, clicking what was left of the little white pill you had taken earlier against the back of your front teeth. 

By some means or another, Jungkook had managed to procure some of Coachella’s famous “goods” from one of his seemingly infinite amount of “friends”. Under normal circumstances, you would have chewed glass before following in the irresponsible male’s footsteps, but in this case - fuck it. Coachella was Coachella after all. 

You feel Jimin’s lips curl into a smile against your temple, his hand sliding around your waist to rest hot and heavy against your hip. The contact instantly sent a jolt of heat between your legs, but you simply clench your thighs together and continue to move your hips in tandem with the music. It was futile to deny the effect Jimin had on you. From the start of your friendship Freshman year till now, the tension between you both had grown from underlying to practically palpable. Even your friends could see it. Hell, they all wondered (never aloud of course) how neither of you had jumped each other after all these years. 

You’d lost count of the number of raised eyebrows and knowing glances each of them had shot your way any time you interacted with each other.. However, something always held you back and you were sure it was the same for Jimin. Too many times you had seen each other either get hurt or lose interest in other people once things got physical and the last thing either of you wanted to do was endanger your friendship by doing the same. That didn’t stop the possibility from entering your mind, however. A part of you always wondered, what if.. what if.. and you would be damned if he didn’t feel the same way.

Again you are distracted from your thoughts, this time by the rush of heat that fills your body as the second wave of the pill takes effect. Sweat begins to bead beneath your breasts and trickle down your stomach to disappear beneath the lip of your spandex shorts. Behind you, the warmth from Jimin’s chest feels almost oppressive yet you find yourself pushing back harder; craving the contact. 

“Jesus, [Y/N],” he hisses as your ass presses flush against his hips, “..are you sure you’re ok?” At this point, the sensations are too much for you to see sense. Jungkook and Hoseok’s whereabouts, as well as the congested crowd of people around you, turn to mere afterthoughts in your mind. All you can think of at this moment is Jimin. Jimin.. Jimin.

 “M’fine..” you murmur, tipping your head back against his chest until your eyes lock. Another wave of liquid fire pulsates through your veins as you drink in the wetness of his lips and the flush of his cheeks beneath the specks of glitter you had so generously applied just hours before. God, he was beautiful, but you knew if you were to say so now he was more than likely to scoff and blame it on your inebriated state. So instead of telling Jimin how you felt, you decided it would be best to show him.

“Chimy-ah.. You have to feel this.” 

Your breath ghosts over his mouth, making him tremble against you as your lips part to reveal what remains of the little white pill resting on your tongue. Jimin tenses at the sight of it, reality pooling disappointingly in his gut as he remembers the explanation for your needy behavior. If he had thought before that any of this was real, it was pushed back below the surface. “[Y/N].. come on,” he groans. “Snap out of it, you don’t know what you’re doing right now.” 

The rush you were feeling a minute earlier dims slightly and you furrow your brow at his words. Curse Jimin and his rational brain. You wished now more than ever that both of you could just throw caution to the wind and give in to the urges that had lurked between you for so long. 

Friendship be damned. At the moment, nothing seemed more right than to bridge the gap between you and kiss all of his doubts away, but you knew that wouldn’t do. Determined, you snaked a hand down your torso to rest atop the one with which Jimin was gripping your hip and intertwined your fingers wantonly. The other slid up his neck, feeling his sweat collect against your fingertips as you pressed your faces closer. “Jimin-ah…” you whispered again, grinding your cheeks firmly against his hips, “please, just trust me.”

You watched hungrily as his Adam’s Apple bobbed while he digested this. He dropped your gaze to scan over your glossy, parted lips, pink cheeks and heaving chest. An involuntary moan escaped his lips as he drank in the sight before him. God you looked so fucking delectable like this; perky tits threatening to spill out of your tiny bandeau with each breath you took.. all flushed and practically begging him to ruin you. 

The beat of the song continued to thunder through Jimin’s ears and as the sounds of the climax begun to swell, he threw caution to the wind and leaned down to mold his lips hungrily over yours. You groaned instantly at the contact, squeezing the hand against your hip and tugging harshly at his silver locks to deepen the kiss. Your mouths meshed together seamlessly, parting every now and again with a wet smack only to collide as though the pair of you had done this a million times before. 

His tongue slid against your bottom lip in an unspoken plea for entry that you happily accepted and as it glided against your own, you felt the little pill slip from your mouth to his. Jimin moaned into the kiss, using both hands to explore your body and make up for what he felt was sorely lost time. Rough hands cupped your tits through the thin material of your top, kneading the warm flesh greedily. “F-fuck Chimy..” you whimpered as he pinched gently at your pebbling nipples. Why, oh why had you waited so goddamn long to do this? 

As if to answer your question, Jimin ground his hips soundly against yours. You could feel him chubbing up between your asscheeks and that only served to further dampen your already soaked underwear as you writhed and moaned against him. “You cheeky little minx..” Jimin panted, dropping a hand down to tease his fingertips against the seam of your shorts, “fuckin’ soaking for me after all this time.. You have no idea how badly I’ve wanted this..” 

You couldn’t help but tremble at his words. To hear such filth coming from the man you’d lusted over for so long and for him to validate of your feelings no less, was altogether too much. You found yourself craving more, more, more of him and had to bite down on your lip to suppress the squeak that threatened to escape you as his searing hot fingers dipped below the waistband of your shorts. 

One had shot up to cover your mouth as Jimin’s body molded ever closer behind you. He pressed you farther into the thick of the crowd in an attempt to hide his wandering hands and to the other Coachella-goers, you just looked like any other handsy couple swaying to the music. Any and all thoughts of Jungkook and Hoseok were long gone as the two of you lost yourselves in each other. 

Jimin’s fingers danced against the material of your lace panties as he mouthed gently against the nape of your neck. By now you were practically throbbing with need, silently begging Jimin to lower his fingers just another inch and soothe the ache in your clit, but just as it seemed you were finally going to get what you wanted, you found yourself jolted out of your reverie.

In one fell swoop, Jimin had removed his fingers from your spandex and spun you around to face him. He looked absolutely fucked; silver locks in dissary and lips swollen from the intensity of your kisses. His pupils were blown wide against his brown irises, no doubt from the effects of your pill and you found yourself staring into them as his chest heaved for air. “Not here..” he growled before dipping back down to capture your lips in a chaste peck. “Believe me, sweetheart, if you want it, then by fucking god you’re gonna get it.. but not here. You’re mine and I’ll be damned if anyone else gets to see you fall apart like this.”

Your mouth dropped open in shock, the breath seemingly punched out of your chest from the intensity of his words. You had never seen Jimin this way, but it would be a damn lie to say that his possessiveness wasn’t turning you on immensely. This time you reached up, standing on your tiptoes to pull him down into for one last languid, smoldering kiss. 

“Fine then,” you whispered as you pulled away, warm breath fanning out against his cheeks, “I’m yours.” 

And with that, your hand was in his; heart thundering against your ribcage at the prospect of what was to come. 

[prospectfandom]

FUEL | Chapter Five

PROLOGUE | CHAPTER ONE | CHAPTER TWO | CHAPTER THREE | CHAPTER FOUR | CHAPTER FIVE | ...

ANGEL REYES x READER

Summary: You grew up playing on Mayans MC’s yard, but you’re not a child anymore.

Warnings: ANGST and FLUFF. 

Author’s note:  Are you ready? Let the thrill begin. Let me know what you think PLEASE. Especially about the last scene. TELL ME !

Requests and tag list OPEN. Check my MASTERLIST.

You were sprawled on the hammock outside the office, the guys were standing near you, engaged in a cheerful conversation. Angel was the only one sitting on the floor of the porch, next to you. His left hand was resting on your ankle, squeezing it gently. Cigarette in one hand. you in the other, as always. 

You were used to this now. He was always beside you. You could sense his presence near you, feel the heat radiating from his body. It was good. His hands were always finding your skin, your hair, from tickles and featherlike touches to reassuring squeezes. The other guys were dear friends to you but this was different. You were suspicious about him having feelings for you too but you were tired of all the pinning. You wanted action.

“Earth to Y/N” Coco called and frowned at your guilty expression. “What?”

“Nothing. I just... zoned out. What?” 

“I’m so gonna win this bet!” Ezekiel said to Coco with a devilish grin. You sensed that it had something to do with you.

“What?” Angel seemed annoyed.

“Prospect has a big mouth, that’s all. Nothing that concerns you. ” Coco eased and gave another sip on his beer. 

You felt the urge to be somewhere else and made an excuse. 

Angel stood up and pushed Ez.

“Do you think I’m stupid?” He asked and Coco restrained his arm. He freed himself and pointed an accusatory finger at him. “You’re involved in this.”

“Jesus, dude. You gotta chill.” Coco shoved his finger away and Angel seemed to relax. “Ez thinks you’re gonna get the girl soon, I don’t. We put 50 on it.”

Bishop and Riz burst in laugh. They knew something was going on but it wasn’t of their interest, so they didn’t ask. 

Angel’s façade went down after his friend’s statement. “Why? Why wouldn't I get her?”

“Do you want to?” Ez asked.

Silence.

                                   ______________________

You were quietly working on Bishop’s bike when someone called your name. You turned around and smiled sheepishly. Diego mirrored your expression.

“May I?” He asked, motioning to the stool laying next to you. 

“Sure!” You nodded and he pulled it next to you before sitting. 

"So... What’s going on? Galindo showed up earlier and they all strutted out.”

He laughed and you thought that wrinkle that formed on his nose was cute. 

“I don’t know, I’m his personal friend, he doesn’t share much with me.”

You cleaned your hands on your jeans before lighting up a cigarette. 

“You know how it works...” He continued in a low voice. “The more you know, the more engaged you are to this world. The less I know the better.”

You nodded in agreement but remembered what Angel said about him. 

Conversation flew easily and you had a good time. 

“Y/N... Have dinner with me tonight, please. I really enjoy your company.” He said with a bright smile.

You cursed mentally. Diego was fine but your heart belonged to that moron who didn’t know what he wanted from his life. 

“I think they may need me when they come back...” You gave him an apologetic smile. 

“Oh, ok.” He caressed your cheek. “What about tomorrow?”

You had to be honest...

“Listen...” You exhaled and turned at him, facing him. “You’re good looking and I really enjoy your company but I think I like someone else. Things are already complicated and I don’t think it’s a good idea to mix things up.”

“Shit.” He laughed and shook his head. “Can’t believe I blew my chance with you! But hey...” He ran his hand through your hair. “If you figure things out and change your mind you can always call me.”

You smiled at him, he was a good guy. 

And then a Harley, whose thunderous sound you knew too well, passed by you on the yard. Your blood froze in your veins and you looked at him... He parked and stayed sit on the bike, you could only see his back. You could tell he was breathing hard and his hands were glued to his sides, fists so tight his knuckles were white. 

Gilly and Coco arrived and the latest looked at you with a puzzled look before heading to his friend. Diego had his hand on your back.

“Are you ok?” He asked and you looked at him abruptly, like if you have forgotten his presence.

“I don’t know. I think you should go...” Your voice trailed off. 

“Is that the guy?” He asked and stood up, staring at Angel, who was now being practically being dragged inside by Coco and Ez. They were arguing. 

“You should go.” You said harshly and he finally understood.

You were hyperventilating. But goddamn it, Angel isn’t your boyfriend, he didn’t even ask you out. Never. Why were you so upset and anxious about him seeing you talking to Diego? Was he mad? Was it about you or whatever happened at the meeting with Galindo? 

You calmed down and decided to follow the script like if nothing has ever happened. 

                                    _____________________

You sit next to him at the bar and he didn’t even look at you. 

“How was the meeting?” You asked, trying to maintain your voice even. 

“Full of bullshit, like always. We dealt with it.” Coco stated.

“We?” Ez asked. “It was all Angel and me.” Ez laughed.

The atmosphere was odd. Angel was off, Ez was trying to enlighten the mood. Coco didn’t really care.

“What about you? How was your afternoon?” You nudged Angel’s shoulder and he looked at you, no emotion at all. 

“It was fine.” He answered, nonchalant. 

You nodded. 

“Not as fine as yours, but fine.” He completed, sipping on his beer.

“You’re an idiot!” You yelled and all eyes turned at you, but you were so mad you didn’t even care. 

You punched his shoulder as hard as you could. The impact made him spill the beer all over his jeans. He looked at you, surprised, but then the rage started spilling out of him.

“You clearly think I am! I told you to stay away from that bastard!” He shouted in your face. 

“Sure! And I’m supposed to obey you, right?” You yelled and he was fifty shades of red now. 

“Whatever.” He said and walked away. You gulped the rest of your beer and ran after him. You wanted to crawl into his nerves and give him a heart attack. You wanted to punch him in the face. 

“Don’t whatever me, asshole!” You pulled his arm and he stopped dead on tracks by the door.

Everyone was watching with wide eyes. Some of them were restraining a laugh, some of them were waiting for the minor signal of real violence to break up the fight, but none of them dared to say something. 

“Fine!” He shouted, exasperated. “What was he doing here?” 

“Talking.” 

“I saw you talking. Old man is a bit handsy, don’t you think?” You absolutely hated that cynical tone.

“Less than you are. And he is your age. Should I stay away from you too?” You yelled at him. 

His expression was hurt. "Not the same.” 

“Why???” You asked, exasperated. You were tired.

“I like you, goddamn it! I love you!” He hollered and locked his eyes on yours. His brows were furrowed, his skin was flush and he was panting hard. 

“What?” You smiled and everyone laughed. 

“You heard me. Now, what’s the deal between you and him?” 

For the first time, you realized you were doing this in front of the guys. You looked back with widened eyes and they laughed. 

“Y/N?” Angel shook your arm, impatient. 

“He asked me out...”

“AND” Impatient.

“I said I couldn’t go because I’m into someone else.” You blurted out.

“Who’s the guy?” He asked, trying not to smile, but didn’t manage to. 

“You'll hate the guy!” You laughed and he frowned.

“Say it.” He growled, pulling a handful of your hair, forcing you to look up to him. 

“You.” 

You could spend hours, days like that and never get tired. All you could feel was his heat, his body, his smell, his lips, his tongue, his hands gripping on your waist for dear life. It seemed to you the rest of the world disappeared. The cheering and the teasing was just a whisper at the back of your mind, your thoughts and ovaries were much louder. 

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[paperclipninja]

Younger post-ep ramble 6x11

I may be on holiday but if you think that’s going to stop me offloading some thoughts and feelings about this week’s episode of Younger, ‘Holding Out for a SHero’, then you’d be sorely mistaken (any chance to over-think and over-analyse my fave fake reality). In saying that, this will be a briefer version of my usual post-ep ramble, what I shall refer to as Ramble Lite™. There were parts of this episode I really liked and parts I felt disappointed with, but it largely played out in a way that I expected, with the exception of that twist at the end! Hats off to Joe Murphy for that fab misdirection, I may have gasped.

This episode opened with Maggie in her tomato garden looking radiant and Liza filling her in on the decision not to see Josh anymore because it’s complicated and feelings and that undeniable thing called chemistry (or something like that). I applaud Maggie’s consistent use of Chaz (I really hope we get to hear her say it to his face at some point) and Liza stating out loud that she chooses Charles, but this scene also delivered one of the two big moments of disappointment I had in this ep. If anything was ever going to be out of character on this show it would be Liza, a writer and editor, being unable to come up with decent adjectives to describe the man she is supposedly in love with. Yet here she is describing Charles as ‘a peer’ and ‘appropriate’ as reasons for choosing to be with him. For real? I understand the effort to paint him as the sensible choice vs. the less sensible, the head vs. heart, in this triangle that’s been resurrected. This particular way of describing men has always served a clear purpose in the Youngerverse and ngl, my alarm bells went off in episode 7 when Michelle referred to Charles as ‘appropriate’. Liza uses this exact term to describe Richard, the horrendous man Michelle sets her up with in S1E2 who starts reading emails at the dinner table on their date, he’s ‘age appropriate’. She also described Jay as nice, viable, legitimate prospect, sure, but she also sobbed on his shoulder because she was so in love with Charles that her heart was aching at the thought of missing the chance to be with him.

It feels so painfully deliberate, Charles has gone from intellectually invigorating and romantic and been relegated to safe and ‘appropriate’. My disappointment comes from the fact that if this triangle must remain in play, there can be two men who are vibrant and compelling and really different, without painting one as ‘boring’ and one as ‘fun’. Knowing the way Liza talks about the important people in her life, with such admiration and affection, I feel she would at least say Charles is intelligent and romantic or kind or thoughtful or SOMETHING better than being ‘a peer’ and ‘appropriate’. I do believe that as viewers we often form our own interpretations of characters and when they don’t behave the way we imagine we are disappointed, but in this case it’s the disappointment that Liza’s entire reason for being attracted to Charles is being reduced to the idea that it’s sensible when we have been shown this is simply not the case. Phew, glad I got that off my chest (and so much for Ramble Lite™ lol).

Once in the office Liza is running Diana through the wedding planning, which frankly I cannot wait to see all come together. I love that Liza’s already secretly planned a bachelorette party and really does know Diana well enough to know she’ll want one (so many lols @ Diana’s, ‘yes that’s why I was bringing it up, because I don’t want one’ and could Liza look any more pleased with herself that she’s managed to pull the wool over her eyes? Adorbs). Charles arrives looking for Kelsey and is wanting to see how she would like to break the news that he is once again publisher, because that’s how they work now that they’re the dynamic duo and have I mentioned this week how much I LOVED seeing their dynamic last week? Kelsey proves that she has indeed kept her head and announces that Millennial secured a new investor and that Charles is once again in the boss seat and I am once again extremely impressed with Kelsey this season, as is Diana (and honestly if you have the D.Trout stamp of approval, what more do you need?).  I will also never tire of seeing Diana, Kelsey and Liza as true peers and now friends, it’s undoubtedly a highlight of season 6.

The book pitch of the week is extremely timely (as always), a manners for millennials piece that aims to counteract the generation’s greatest shortcomings, such as ghosting exes and not RSVPing to weddings. This episode really did have some stellar lines and the fact that Liza can now drop jokes in meetings, such as her ‘neither was I’ response to the author’s ‘I am not proud to be a millennial’, is the kind of goodness I am here for since the lie is no longer a thing. Naturally Liza and Diana are both very interested in finding out more about these topics and it turns out the best way to get some finality with the ex is to write a good ol’ fashioned Dear John letter (best way to get those RSVP’s -unknown). This is reinforced nicely in Charles’ office, when Liza leaps off Charles’ desk as though she and Charles were caught christening the damn thing (which would’ve been very ok by me and at this point you should know I’m not at all sorry) by Diana bearing flowers and note from Alice the author letting them know she will not be publishing her book with Millennial (so no Charles, the flowers are not for you).  All this talk of how good letters are leads to Liza penning her Dear Josh letter that night, which we only catch a tantalizing glimpse of initially, before the narration and accompanying montage when Josh actually receives it.

While it was only brief, Charles asking Liza how she feels about him being back as publisher and her answering honestly, she just wishes Kelsey hadn’t been unceremoniously stripped of the title, is yet another lovely insight into their relationship. Charles continuing with, ‘what about you, always thinking of others, how do you feel?’, excuse me while I clutch my heart at the sweetness of it all and seriously, does ANYONE ever ask Liza this? The family picture on Charles’ desk is noted and it’s great but I also can’t help but feel it’s somewhat ominous so I’m putting my gush on pause (v. open to being proven wrong on this).

Kelsey and Zane continue to be all over the place, I have so little investment in them as a pairing and I really think it’s because I have simply not seen enough of them together to know whether I care, though I have enjoyed a number of their interactions recently. It also doesn’t help that Zane has been many shades of douche this season. Since professing their love for one another, he is being caring at the start of this week’s ep, apologising and saying he feels partly responsible for Kelsey’s demotion and trying to allay Kelsey’s self-doubt. It is Kelsey who says that she doesn’t know how to do this with Zane and that one of them always loses (the old editors-who-were-peers-and-then-one-became-the-boss-but-now-they’re-peers-again curse), which returns Zane to Douchetown in time for the staff meeting.

I felt for Kelsey, it would be so hard sitting in that first meeting with Charles at the helm again, though him going through all the acquisitions and saying these are a credit to Kelsey’s impeccable instincts was great and necessary. But then Charles brings up the Arabian Seas book and the ‘we’ enters the conversation, along with a list of books that sound like they belong on the bargain shelf because yawn and yes it’s fine that Charles has his own instincts, but Zane in this meeting is awful. Kelsey calls him out, she is clearly and rightfully angry about the unfairness of her entire situation and she warns Charles to, ‘pay attention…and you too Liza. I didn’t have any boundaries at work and look what happened’. I have no idea if this is foreshadowing but I feel like it could be juicy if it was so let’s keep abreast of any future developments (yes that is a boob pun and you’re welcome).

Highlight of this whole scene of course is Liza ripping into the guy and the whole office when Kelsey walks out of the meeting and can hear that her meme has been made into a banger of a tune. We get fearsome Liza schooling the entire room on the fact that Kelsey did get the money, ‘that’s why we all have a job, she’s a goddamn hero’. YESSSSSS Liza *praise hands*. Kelsey in turn agrees to speak at the girls school event that Lauren put to her earlier (yes it IS ok to be angry and Kelsey no longer distancing herself from her social media mistake but using it as a platform to empower others and be a role model…where do I sign?).

Lauren was in ultimate PR and friend mode for Kelsey this week, trying to figure out how to spin Boobgate and trying to see the positive side of all the invitation cancellations. I always say it, I know, but Lauren’s unrelenting advocacy for her friends is absolutely one of her best qualities and her line, ‘you are an example of a woman who made a very simple mistake and the patriarchy seizing that opportunity to tear you down’, was fantastic. She also very much latched onto the SHero theme and I appreciated her use of the word at any given opportunity.

It is as Lauren and Josh are leaving to catch an Uber to Inkburg Midtown that we discover this means he is very relieved Claire doesn’t have to move to LA now. I really don’t get this. I said last week that Josh is far too woke to expect the mother of his child to bail on her career aspiration just so he doesn’t have to move to LA, especially considering he knows the struggle Liza faced in her own career journey after having Caitlin (who you may remember is her daughter…or was. Current status unknown). If we’d seen in their conversation Claire saying that she really doesn’t want to move but she can’t see another way to give Gemma the life she hopes, then ok, Josh finding a way to up his income is ace. So I do hope we find out at some point this was the case, because Josh deciding he’ll get more money so Claire and Gemma can stay for his convenience, it’s just nope.

Though I do have to say that the biggest benefit of Josh securing the Infinitely 21 partnership is getting to see more Shelly because omfg I cannot with her. The way she talks about paint colours, giving her personal number, the line I could not believe I heard, ‘but seriously, Josh, unload on me’ ( I love that this season has seemed censored af compared to previous ones – I don’t love this but you know what I mean- yet lines like this get dropped in. Too good), I am in awe of her complete and unabashed lust for him.

It is between picking paint colours that Josh finds the letter from Liza and it is heart wrenching. And beautiful. The emotion really is palpable as Josh leaves the store to find somewhere to read it once he realises what it is. The flashback montage is certainly something that hasn’t been utilized in the show and it really leaves such an impression. Coupled with the narration of the letter, it really captures the impact of Josh on Liza’s life and Liza’s genuine commitment to make her relationship with Charles work. If this show was wanting to move these characters past this old relationship it would have been a poignant and perfect way to do it. However it plays out in the long run, I thought it was really well done.

The hands down highlight of this entire episode for me was Diana’s bachelorette party. Lauren running at an unsuspecting Diana screaming, ‘get in the Hummer bitch’ is one of the funniest moments of the series, I will be laughing for eternity. Liza reminding Diana that, ‘I get you’, yes she does and I just love everything about seeing these women, all the Younger women, out together. I feel like the focus of this episode really got pulled to the other drama but this is the first time we’ve ever seen every female character of this show together in a room and I feel like THIS IS A BIG DEAL. Maggie schooling Diana on how strip clubs work and SO many brilliant lines, as Diana waves her money in the air only to tell the first stripper, ‘You’re a lot, no thank you’, then ‘Hi, little one’ as she flags another. The hilarity does not stop with Diana, Lauren’s, ‘here’s a fiver, you should smile more’ is every kind of YES (I sense a whiff of Liz Lemon in that line and I approve). As Liza and Kelsey talk about men and work and blah, Diana tries to bring them back to the purpose of the evening, ‘ladies, there are bulging crotches in your faces, can you focus?’. Listen to the Queen people. Yet another Diana wedding related event in which she ends up asking, ‘how did tonight become all about you?’ and I was thinking the same Diva. *Eyeroll*

The Hummer ends up at Inkburg because Lauren wants to help Diana fulfil her wish of doing something she’ll regret for the rest of her life (and obviously the reason they all need to be there is so Liza and Josh can have their post-letter confrontation). They are all so drunk, it’s hilarious and I would watch an entire feature film about the antics of this group while inebriated. Seriously, take my money. From Lauren’s, ‘Get out of the hummer Doana’ to Maggie’s, ‘I forgot we were in a car’, they cover the entire drunk person spectrum. On top of that we have Diana’s penis balloon hat position which just cracks me up because I am 10 but my fave is Diana saying to Josh, ‘John, just something small, tasteful and literary’ and then as she’s leaving, ‘it was nice to meet you Jake’. Obvs a wise choice not to go through with the tat but I’d love to know what Diana would have ended up with.

Josh calling Liza out on writing the letter and trying to walk away never talking to him was completely fair enough. Him reminding her that she said she would always be there for him, be Gemma’s aunt Liza, he’s not wrong and his hurt and confusion are understandable. But it is so nice to finally hear Liza making a choice and sticking to it (whether she does or not in the future). Josh saying that he gets it, she’s scared of what they were, they still are, it’s powerful and her defensiveness of Charles when he says that she’s making the safe choice is exactly the right response if she really means she has chosen him. And not because I love Charles and Liza together, but because Liza is standing up for her choice and her ‘don’t you tell me what I feel’ retort is so charged and fierce and I love it. ‘I know this is hard to accept Josh, but we were a moment in time. But the time has passed’ - this whole scene is wonderfully acted, the chemistry between these characters has always been strong and this is no exception. And obviously I agree that they need to move on. However my second big disappointment for this episode is the, ‘you forget Liza, I know you. I know when you’re lying (a couple of seasons of thinking she was 26 might contradict that but ok), especially to yourself.’

I absolutely understand the sentiment and I completely appreciate the setup for the zinger, ‘you wrote a letter to the wrong guy’ (though I do take issue with that line in general considering Liza has just said she’s made her choice. Even a simple, ‘I think’ in front of it would’ve made it less arrogant), but if this setup is leading to a Josh and Liza reunion down the track, then I would have preferred the execution be different because to me, this is not insightful or romantic, it’s Josh once again questioning Liza’s understanding of herself and her needs (I know it’s meant to be him trying to get her to ‘be real’ but it just doesn’t land like that for me). I have no doubt lots of fans are jubilant but it feels manipulative and is not a tactic that compels me to think they might have something worth revisiting. If after Liza said, ‘I love him more’ Josh had looked at her with that heartbreak in his eyes he can convey so well and said, ‘well then I hope he loves you the way you deserve’ or something and walked away, then THAT would show growth and make the possibility of him being an option again (which is clearly where this is all heading) far more compelling IMO.

So in one of the best bait and switch moments this show has delivered, Liza returns to the loft and has a good hard look at the gala photo with Charles and Michelle and Tom (and in my head she’s thinking about how good it is she and Charles promised each other they won’t go to things like that anymore) before we see another letter starting, Dear Charles. And just when all the Team Charles Stans were going to have a collective meltdown, it turns out it’s Kelsey writing her resignation letter and we all exhaled but then didn’t because Kelsey, what are you doing??? So. Much. DRAH-MAH, so little time.

Ramble Lite™, that was a good joke wasn’t it? Can’t believe we’ve reached the finale but I am also very ready because WE GET TO GO TO A WEDDING!!!! Better get my neckwear sorted…

[mwolf0epsilon]

i just fond your blog and saw you like DBH and G/T and ive been dying for a cute g/t fic! Could you please do one with Markus if thats ok???

I’m really sorry this took so long Anon! Here’s some giant Markus goodness for the G/T side of the fandom! Had to get a bit creative but hey, that’s why we have Mad Scientist Vibes Mcgree (Young Kamski)!

Enjoy!

—

    When Carl had gotten into his accident, a lot of things in his life had forcibly changed.

He couldn’t walk anymore (which was the major factor for these changes), he needed to take medicine to stop the pain that the doctors said would never go away (but might lessen with time and physiotherapy), had to quit some of his favorite hobbies (He couldn’t go skiing, swimming or sky-diving anymore) and, on top of the physical limitations that he had to get used to, Carl had lost all motivation to do anything.

He couldn’t bring himself to get out of bed most mornings, much less pick up a brush to take to a canvas.

His own home became a prison, the long curving stairwell a deathtrap for a handicapped man in a wheelchair. The members of the artistic community that he’d considered his peers had practically abandoned him and gone on to lick the boots of the next greatest deal, his relationships had shriveled away due to his terrible moods, and he’d lost himself to booze and cheap drug highs more times than he’d eaten in those first weeks of recovery and adjustment to his plight…

Carl was a mess, a depressed, bitter and angry unadjusted mess, and he practically exiled himself in his own home, resigned to wasting away alone and wallowing in his own misery.

It had felt like everything that made him who he was, had died with his ability to walk…

But of course, while the world was ready to give up on an a bitter old cripple, Elijah Kamski had believed Carl could get himself back together.

And, in believing so, he’d gone and done something truly insane to help push him towards the road of recovery.

    Carl thought of Elijah as a very clever and ambitious young man. A crafty boy that was as cunning as they came, with a reputation for the dramatics that added a bit of flair to his eccentric personality.

Where others saw an excellent inventor with a few bizarre behaviours, Carl saw a well-meaning boy who went all out in his many personal plans and schemes. Someone who gave you half the puzzle so you could figure it out yourself, but who’d jump at the opportunity to give an answer to a friend if he trusted them enough. He was odd, a bit pretentious at times, but not as impossible to figure out as many people thought.

He’d left his own company around the same time of Carl’s accident, for various other reasons he assured, albeit also intending to take the time off to think on the incident itself and in what way he could help a dear friend in need.

The overall plan, however, was to isolate himself and think over a few things that had concerned him quite a bit over work ethic and corporational corruption.

Carl knew from a previous conversation that Elijah had taken with him the fruits of an ongoing and still fairly green project, intending to finish it himself rather than let the board of directors play around with such a delicate schematic.

He’d never asked Elijah what he’d do with it if he ever did finish it, but then again he should have expected the boy to reworked it into his grand scheme of “fixing his father-figure”.

Elijah was nowhere close to performing miracles yet, but Carl was sure he’d been trying fairly hard with something of the sort before settling in his final idea. Chloe had already come close enough to the boy playing god, and Carl was sure that, while the field of medicine could benefit from his younger friend’s work and ingenuity, he himself didn’t like the idea of having his legs chopped off and replaced with mechanical parts.

Prosthetics wouldn’t fix his ruined spine, wouldn’t make the pain and trauma go away, and he’d rather die than be a guinea pig to some scalpel-happy medical students.

Elijah knew this, so he did something else. Something bolder and very much batshit insane.

He was clever about it as well. He’d hid his real intentions behind simple visits, where he measured Carl’s chair multiple times, fixed issues he had with some of its mobility, installed railings and an assortment of contraptions to aid him around the house, and then finally brought him a robotic arm to serve as a moving platform to help with his larger paintings. All presents that Carl had frowned at and ignored besides the damn elevator and the wheelchair upgrade, since he needed those to get around the house.

And then, after several of these visits where he just observed and offered idle conversation, one day Elijah showed up with Chloe and his real present.

That was a day Carl would never forget…

Hard to, when a close friend of yours brought over a 50 foot tall android to serve as a household assistant.

-

    It hadn’t been a particularly good day to begin with. His doctors had tried to send him another nurse who’d just gotten in the way.

She’d woken him up abruptly, insisted for him to eat despite him feeling nauseous from spending the night in a drunken stupor, hadn’t let him even watch the news in peace without blabbering on about how he’d organized his home or about his medication schedules.

And then of course, when she pointed out the taxidermied giraffe and commented on how “middle-ages” it was to have a dead animal decorating one’s house, he’d snapped.

The night before he’d had an argument over the phone with Adelaide, Leo’s mother.

They’d argued over him shutting them out after the accident, when he’d finally taken the steps to get to know his son.

Carl wasn’t proud of what he’d said, but he recalled laughing bitterly and saying an invalid man who can’t walk anymore, can’t really take any steps by himself.

She’d been furious at his self-deprecation. And then she’d exploded when he’d implied the situation was their fault to begin with.

Because, “had he not gone on the trip to begin with, he wouldn’t have ever gotten into the damn accident”.

Carl had been too drunk to think straight, spoke some things he really shouldn’t have, and in the end Adelaide had gotten fed up with him and hung up. He had a feeling she’d resent him for this major fuck up on his part.

The argument had left him in a sour mood, and the nurse criticizing his home and the things he’d been gifted with by friends?

It had struck a nerve and he’d become standoffish and defensive.

She’d stormed out after he’d told her off with some choice words, and then told her to tell his doctors to shove their stethoscopes so far up their own asses that they might actually hear their own stupidity.

It would have been funny really, if he hadn’t wanted a cup of tea afterwards to calm his fraying nerves.

That’s when Elijah decided to show up, in the middle of Carl cursing his stove for being too tall for him to properly use now that he couldn’t stand.

    As upset as he was with his own handicap, Carl wasn’t one to give in very easily when he actually wanted something as mundane as a cup of hot tea. Earl grey, with a few almond cookies on the side to please his sweet tooth.

At the time, had he wanted to draw or paint or even play the piano as much as he’d wanted a hot beverage, he would have likely gotten it done much earlier without ever needing any help to begin with.

Considering the spell he’d put himself in however, how fervently he believed he was useless, Carl had made himself into exactly what he thought he was when it came to procuring inspiration, thus indulging in his interests was out of the picture for some time.

But that had all been forgotten while he tried to find a way around the stove’s height.

Kettle in one hand, his chin on the other, the artist considered his options.

And then the ground began to shake.

He didn’t notice at first, too engrossed with his dilemma, until the water in the kettle began to shift and slosh out onto the floor with a resounding splatter, and the wheels of his chair began to shudder against the breaks.

The shakes were rhythmic in nature, followed by thuds that were becoming as loud as thunder just as the intensity of the quaking began to make things rattle off the shelves.

Carl had gripped the chair’s armrests tightly as he looked around the kitchen, wincing as fine china slipped out of place and shattered on the floor. As the windows rattled violently against their frames, he wondered how any of this was possible, as never once had he suffered through an earthquake in this area of Michigan.

And then of course, the intense quakes came to a halt just as a deafening screech of metal met his ears.

The artist yelled in alarm as he peered out the window and saw something absolutely gargantuan crush the tall metal fencing in his yard. Had he just witnessed a goddamn meteor crash?!

-

    Of course,being the overly-curious man that he was, Carl’s immediate reaction was not to call the authorities, but to leave the kitchen to investigate.

The old artist made his way outside by wheeling himself through the larger sliding-glass door, making use of the ramp that Elijah had helped set up in one of his many visits. He then carefully and clumsily maneuvered himself around the side of his home, trying to pick up speed while also trying not to knock himself out of balance in the process (he was still not very good at using it after all), and was quickly met by a dark shadow that was definitely not supposed to be there at noon. Whatever was currently in his property, was positively and tremendously big, enough so that it cast such an impressive shadow over the mansion.

What he wasn’t counting on seeing was that, what appeared to have obliterated his fence and part of his garden, was a pair of gigantic shoes…

Inside them, Carl assumed, were an equally gigantic pair of feet, connected to gigantic legs, that were connected to a gigantic torso, which itself had a pair of gigantic arms connected to them, as well as a gigantic head.

Did he mention how gigantic all of it was? Or how his body was instinctively trembling and screaming at him to seek shelter, as two large green eyes peered down at his own two widened blue eyes. He couldn’t quite discern any other facial features, as the rest were obscured by shade, but he could see a blazing yellow circle where he assumed the giant’s right temple might be.

There was a colossal android in his backyard. Carl was pretty sure this was a sign that he was probably going to die, until he heard two familiar voices up in the distance.

 “Elijah…It appears the RK200 has effectively destroyed Mr. Manfred’s security system…” the soothing tone of the RT600, Elijah’s darling Chloe, stated calmly as she peered down from the shoulders of the giant she’d apparently hitched a ride on.

 “I’m well aware Chloe.” Elijah Kamski, who stood on the other shoulder of the massive android, poked his head over to look down at the mess. “This wasn’t how I wanted to surprise Carl… My fault really, for letting our baby boy take his first steps out in the wild…”

 “A flair for the dramatics may be your own undoing one day…” Chloe tutted disapprovingly before reaching up to the the giant, patting it under the chin. “Poor thing, this has been a positively mortifying experience for him…”

Carl stared up and up at the trio of “guests”, completely at a loss for words purely due to disbelief because, again, there was a GIANT android in his yard.

His fence had been obliterated, trampled by said android, and Elijah Kamski was behind it.

There was only one thing to do in such a situation.

 “ELIJAH KAMSKI, YOU COME DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW YOUNG MAN AND EXPLAIN TO ME WHY THERE IS A BUILDING SIZED ANDROID RUINING MY BEGONIAS!”

 “Busted…Fuck me, this has not gone according to plan” The inventor fumbled with his glasses and tried to hide under the collar of the colossus’s shirt to no avail. His fate as target for one of Carl’s lectures was set.

 “I warned you he might have appreciated his gift coming in a box.” Chloe grinned at him, before waving in greeting at Carl. She didn’t seem too bothered with this outcome.

 “You’re not helping Chloe…” the man sighed miserably as he stared down at the angry artist.

-

    It ended with the colossal artificial being kneeling on the dirt (an action which made the ground shakes violently because of how huge it was) and then Chloe preparing tea for Carl and Elijah, which the two drank while conversing quietly. They occasionally peered upwards at Elijah’s newest creation.

With its face no longer obscured by the shadow it cast, Carl could finally see it’s features more clearly.

The android, despite it’s terrifying size, was not at all very imposing in appearance. If anything,it looked almost soft and approachable. Friendly even, if not for the limited amount of expressions on its face.

Tanned freckled skin, soft green eyes, hair shaved short, and a sort of inquisitive look to it’s posture which was apparently it’s most basic model of being. Curious about everything and their conversation.

The uniform was pristinely clean, although he noted the shoes had already acquired a layer of dirt and grime from it’s failed “field testing”.

It was sitting there (which of course destroyed another portion of Carl’s fence and garden considering how massive it’s proportions were, and how much it weighed), but otherwise did nothing else but look at them with those soft green eyes. Waiting for it’s orders. It was…Kind of endearing, if not for the fact it destroyed part of his property.

 “Explain to me, why you felt the necessity to bring with you and Chloe such a…” he paused to stare at the android. It cocked it’s head to the side as it listened, blinking its two massive eyes as it focused on him. Each eyelash was probably the same length as Carl’s arms. “…Unique model, while visiting my decidedly not so Kaiju-friendly house…”

 “The term you’re looking for is fun sized, and the RK200 is hardly a Kaiju. Jaeger would be a much more fitting term considering his nature and overall shape.” Elijah smiled as he took a sip of his tea. “And I thought it appropriate to let him test his legs before reaching his destined household. I didn’t account for how clumsy his baby steps would be, however…I should have expected he’d need time to calibrate his movements.”

 “It’s a domestic android?” Carl raised an eyebrow and snorted at the thought “Boy, in what world does something that big fit inside someone’s house?”

 “You’ll find I made the necessary changes to your house for him to fit nice and snug like a bug in a mug, as long as he sits still, which he’s a master at when he’s not bored.”

 “You did what now…?”

 “Of course a 50 foot android will get bored easily. The RK200 is very sophisticated and inquisitive.” The inventor carried on “He adapts as he learns, and as such I’d advise constant interaction with him to ensure the best results…”

 “Elijah what did you do to my house?”

 “That’s not to say he’s clueless of course! You’ll find the RK200 can maintain a perfectly good conversation although, due to his size, verbal communication is not advised, as previous testing noted that his vocal range has a proficiency for shattering glass and porcelain. You’ll have to learn ASL.”

 “Elijah!”

 “Carl it’s all fine. Here, see?” He turned to the gargantuan prototype overseeing them “RK200, initiate Home Program.”

The green eyed android blinked twice, LED momentarily shifting from blue to yellow as it processed the command, and then the side wall behind Carl opened up like a garage door. On closer inspection, it seemed the two floors shifted upwards as well, to accommodate for the android’s tremendous size.

Carl’s jaw dropped as he watched this happen, before he turned to look back at his friend in absolute disbelief.

 “When did you get this done? Any of this?!”

 “I could tell you, but it would warrant a restraining order.”

 “Elijah I swear to God…”

 “Carl please? He will take care of you, and god only knows you could use the company.” Elijah gave the empty tea cup to Chloe, who opted to silently watch the argument unfold while she idly stood besides the prototype “You’ve been living the hermit-chique life without the chique part. You look a mess 24/7, hardly talk to me unless I physically stand besides you, and your habits are not in the slightest healthy.”

 “Since when have you become my mother? I’m an old man Elijah, not a child! I won’t live off someone else’s pity!” Carl snapped.

 “If you’re not a child, stop acting like one!” Kamski yelled loudly, his patience running thin. “I’m worried! You’re my friend and you’ve gone through a traumatizing event! Not only that but you just became single again after seven years in a relationship and need stability and support! The RK200 will give you all of that, no questions asked!”

 “How will it do anything at that size?!” Carl pointed at the android that towered over them eerily silent. It just watched, just as Chloe did, but it’s inquisitive expression had changed to a small frown, as if it were trying to understand a complicated problem.

 “You think I wouldn’t find ways around the size of my creations? Carl, you know better than that.” The brunet shook his head, arms crossed and glasses perched on his nose.

 “Yes, because “obviously” I can imagine those hands, which are as large as a fully grown man, grasping the fragile china that is currently shattered on the kitchen floor, without completely pulverizing it into fine dust…” Carl grimaced, glaring daggers at his friend before looking at the RK200. It was still frowning, but had directed it’s attention to its creator.

 “I have everything sorted out Carl. What do you take me for?” Kamski looked up at the android and smiled “RK200, show Carl your household features.”

The Android in question gave a polite nod before looking at Carl and raising both hands so that they were held up with the palms facing the artist. Carl wondered what it would do, before his eyes widened as large as saucers as the skin of the arms deactivated, revealing intricate paneling and seams. These panels opened up, splitting the arms and hands into various parts, before several cables spilled out from within. The great majority of said cables was tipped with what appeared to be regular sized hands, while others were tipped by lenses.

There were hands and “eyes” inside its actual hands.

 “….Elijah that is the freakiest most scariest thing I have ever seen in my entire life…”

 “There’s more.”

 “Oh god…”

The RK200 quietly closed up its arms after retracting the hidden limbs back inside of their proper compartments, and then pulled it’s uniform shirt up. The skin of the stomach area deactivated and then a massive storage unit popped open. From inside it, popped out two drones and a regular sized android of identical appearance to the RK200.

 “The drones are for delivery and retrieval, the extra android is a remote controlled escort for you whenever you need fresh air. The three are completely linked to the RK200s mind, effectively they are him.” Elijah explained as one of the drones flew around the artist and inventor, while the remote controlled android bowed calmly. “He can actually speak through this body, so while I encourage you brush up on ASL, you can always keep a nice conversation with him out on a public stroll.”

 “Elijah…Just how many concepts were you toying with before you decided to give me this…Mishmash of purposes?” Carl felt like he was in the twilight zone at this point. This was the most sci-fi-ish android he’d ever seen, and Cyberlife had chugged out a LOT of strange models.

 “A few. The most impressive is his programming actually…The code is adaptive and changes depending on stimuli.” Elijah smiled as he watched the RK200 collect it’s extensions. “He’s a little like Chloe, but…But more. And I’ll admit, picking you is selfish, but you’re the one person I’d trust to teach our boy to be something more than just a collection of ideas.”

 “You want a depressed man who hasn’t been out in weeks, to teach a giant android to be a good person?”

 “Pretty much.”

 “This could end badly, you know…” Carl looked once more to the Android, startling when he noticed it had laid down on its stomach and was now mere inches away from him, face practically right on top of Carl’s sitting body. It had an odd expression on its face, but it didn’t look inherently malicious so Carl quickly forced his pulse to calm.

 “It won’t. You’re not gone Carl, as much as you’d like to be considering your state…You’re a clever man, with a lot to teach someone.” Elijah insisted. “You’ll make a fine young man out of our dear baby RK200.”

 “I agree sir.” Chloe smiled as she approached, making sure to pat the colossus on the face in passing. “You’ve been nothing but kind to Elijah and myself. Your wisdom and kindness will be invaluable for RK200’s development. He will also benefit you, in being quite the delightful companion.”

 “…Well…I guess I better look up ASL…”

 “Is that a yes?” Elijah grinned triumphantly.

 “I’m afraid so.”

 “Excellent! I’ll give you the basic rundown here…Starting with supplies, no need to worry he doesn’t run entirely on thirium, that’d be incredibly difficult to sustain. Although I will send you shipments monthly since he does need it to self-heal. Which brings us to the next topic! Self-healing! If he gets badly roughed up somehow, just give him thirium and scrap metal! Biocomponents will do if you have them on hand. His body does the rest!” Elijah chittered excitedly while Carl went back to observing the android he’d been saddled with. It was still watching him, and only him, intently.

Most of Elijah’s technobabble went unheard as Carl watched the giant extend a finger in his direction, before carefully reaching out.

Said finger opened up, a few retractable limbs and cameras (again, creepy as fuck!) coming out and inspecting the wheelchair, before one hand tentatively offered for a handshake.

Carl took it and was surprised at how real the synthetic skin felt.

 “Hello there…” Carl found himself smiling as the android shyly looked away for the briefest of seconds, like a young child meeting a family friend for the first time, before looking back at him and quirking the corners of its mouth upwards. It lifted it’s other hand up and greeted slowly with it’s fingers.

The gentleness of this gigantic being was sticking.

Carl decided in the end that this might not be too bad after all.

-

    A few years later, in 2038, Carl found himself smiling as two familiar drones flew into his room and nestled themselves against his sides all the while purring that strange mechanical purr of theirs (which he’d long since associated with Markus’s good moods), while he watched a revolution unfold on the news.

His boy had come a long way since the first time he’d stepped foot in his property.

Despite his tremendous size and incomparable strength, Markus had not once taken a violent approach at any given chance.

His kind was met with anger and fear, yet the 50 foot android had done everything in his powers to be a benevolent and fair leader to both saptient species.

The remote body appeared for every public event, giving him no advantage over the situations, while his true body remained hidden away up until now…

He revealed himself out of necessity, the remote body destroyed during the attack on the barricade, with that horrid Perkins demanding his presence as soon as he realized Markus wasn’t dead.

And he’d complied to the wishes of a man who thought he’d been the cat that caught the canary. That grin fell off his face as soon as the 50 foot leader of the Android Revolution had squeezed through buildings, careful not to step on anything, avoiding the routes which had civilians and military alike to avoid casualties.

The world watched as a literal giant showed mercy and compassion, where humanity showed senseless cruelty, and Carl couldn’t be prouder.

He’d raised the boy well.

Elijah and Chloe had made the right choice in leaving him with Carl.

And the artist had to admit…For a 50 foot colossus, Markus was nothing if not a gentle caring young man, and he’d been entirely lucky to have him.

Bless Elijah Kamski’s eccentric ideas…But damn if the man still didn’t owe him a garden full of begonias.

[ceruleanchillin]

We Shouldn’t

John Marston x F!Reader

Note -  *spoilers* : not too heavy, but still worth the warning if you haven’t finished the game or played at all

I hope this is ok anon, I tweaked it a bit.

Not meant to bash Abigail, but……

I like her, but I don’t like her with John. To me, the character flaws I dislike about both of them shine brightest when they’re together. (which is a testament to outstanding writing on Rockstar’s part imho, because that’s how some couples are🤷🏾‍♀️)

That being said. Smut-ish

“Don’t act sour to me John Marston, you’re the one who wanted to come town today. I don’t believe I asked!” Abigail yanked her coat from the back of the chair she’d dined in.

Abigail was the only person John knew who could fuss and function at the same time with no trouble. No pausing what she was doing, she didn’t even take a breath, just fussed and functioned. He’d known that for a while he supposed, but it didn’t make it any easier to listen to.

“Keep your voice down.” John hissed, glancing around in hopes no one heard them.

The heat of embarrassment crept from his neck to the tips of his ears, when he noticed several patrons had heard them.

“Don’t tell me what to do.” she snapped. “I was fine til’ you tried to tell me what I could eat.”

“I wasn’t telling you what you could eat, I was just sayin-”

“I swear, if you bring up that goddamn loan again…” she was all screwed lips and narrowed eyes, and he knew to end the discussion there. That, or risk a historical event the likes of which rivaled the Blackwater Massacre.

He slipped his pocket watch from his suit jacket, and glanced down at it. “If we’re going to make that show, we should leave now.”

“Oh It’s across the street, don’t act like it’s a river away.” she stalked past him, only to turn back and look at him. “Well? The show ain’t going to wait for you.”

“Fine.” he bit out, hands shoving the watch back into his pocket.

“Fine.” she fired back, shoving through the door.

He followed her rushed footsteps as he tried to piece together what had gone wrong. It started out nice enough. They’d been in a weird cycle that was 90 percent fighting, and 10 percent awkward silences. He thought their last date had gone well, and that they were long due for another. He’d set things up for dinner, a show, and an evening in one of the nicer hotels in town. He’d even steeled himself for the high possibility she might want to dance. It was all too clear to him, at that point, how the rest of the evening would play out.

He told her of the surprise a week in advance, and she nearly crowned him king in her excitement. Then over the week leading up to it, the arguments had started. Snapping at each other over little things, slamming doors, petty jabs, etc.

A crowd had to started to gather in the cobblestone streets, and it was concentrated around the theater. He tried to stay close to Abigail, but also leave a bit of distance, because he could feel how tense she was. His mind was racing for ways to calm her down, and salvage the rest of the evening. He glanced around main street in pursuit of in an idea.

“You have enough to pay for the show? You know, since you tightened the purse strings at dinner.”

He fought the urge to roll his eyes, and instead exhaled his frustration. “Sorry your highness, I just didn’t want everyone to know about my newfound status as an oil baron.”

Abigail bristled, and let loose on him. He just nodded solemnly letting her fuss. He returned to scanning the area around them, no longer looking for another activity, but a distraction to focus on.

As if he willed you into existence, your laughter caught his attention. Ahead of him, you stood in line with two other women. In the fading daylight, the street lights became the dominant light source, and it was like they all choose to focus on you. Or maybe it felt that way, because he couldn’t look away.

He’d met you during the period when Abigail left him, and things for them had been up in the air. You were the personal assistant of an eccentric author, and his travels brought you to Blackwater. Your boss tasked you with helping him research the life of a cowboy, and you’d found yourself sitting in the Blackwater Saloon interviewing prospects. John had only taken a seat out of pure shock that someone would pay just to hear someone talk. Turns out that it was a little more than that, you wanted to also observe him in action, but it wasn’t anything he couldn’t manage.

You documented the course of building his ranch, and jotted down the parts of his life he felt were pertinent. You made the dreary work ahead of him much more tolerable, and even Uncle and Charles enjoyed your company. He realized he started looking forward to your visits. He learned you felt the same when you brought him dinner, and kissed him over it.

That started the thing between you two, that neither of you named, but both thoroughly enjoyed. He had thought of Abigail and Jack, but he pushed them out of his head when he remembered it was a possibility they would even come back. You were real, you were there, and so were his feelings for you.

Charles has been kind enough not to say anything. Uncle wasn’t quite so polite, but a few threats of violence shut him up. He should’ve done it sooner though, because Uncle had ripped into you about being a homewrecker, and that time he had hit him. Knocked him clean under the table.

To his surprise, you didn’t have much of a reaction beyond laughing at Uncle. You’d told him you figured that, because of the specifications of the home, and the way he jumped around in interviews. You two sat down for a long conversation about it, in which he came clean about everything, and he thought it’d be over after that. It wasn’t.

It wasn’t over until he woken up to find you’d come to the farm early on, and dropped his last payment off with Charles. Your letter was short, powerful, and scented with vanilla. He’d carried it around protectively, until Abigail returned, and it started burning a hole in his pocket. He thought that’d been the end if it, but you were back.

“You’re unbelievable,” Abigail was staring at him with force of death behind her gaze. “Can you even pretend they ain’t got your attention?”

John realized he must’ve been staring at you, and Abigail caught him. The line had thinned, and they were not able to enter the theater at least.

“They’re young, you think they’ll put up with you? They’re probably not stupid enough to get stuck like I did.”

“Would you just go inside?”

“No problem.” She pushed past the few people in front of her, and marched past the ticket counter. “That jackass with the scars is paying!”

For the second time that night, a bevy of disapproving looks fell upon him. He scowled and faced them back, eyes scanning faces until they fell on yours.

You were looking at him with a strange combination of shock and pity. He hated you looking at him with any sort of sympathy, but who could blame you? You looked like you wanted to say something to him, but before you could, your friends dragged you inside and he released a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.

—-

The show itself was rather uneventful. For him at least, because the room around him couldn’t stop erupting in emotion if it became law. He knew it was because he was upset, and Abigail shooting him dirty looks in the dark didn’t help. His plans were shot, and now he was filled with emotions tied to you. Luck never had been fond of him, he supposed.

His eyes glanced up at the balcony you were sitting in, only to find you rising from your seat and disappearing behind the curtain. On instinct, he rose too, muttering something he wasn’t aware of to Abigail. He didn’t wait for her response, if she even gave him one. All he knew was he had to speak to you.

He stumbled out into the lobby, eyes trained on the door he knew led up to the balcony you were in. He took the few seconds he had to run a hand through his hair, and straighten his tie. Yes, John Marston was primping. No, he’d never tell another living soul.

You breezed through the door, and his mouth went dry. You were heading for the concession counter, which was opposite of where he was standing. He walked after you, longer legs allowing him to catch up quickly.

You gasped when you realized he was next to you, your body giving a jerk in response to being frightened.

“Sorry,” he raised his hands and chuckled. “Stay in your skin, it’s too pretty to leave behind.”

“Go to hell Marston, the play already gave me a start.” You pressed a hand to your chest, and he fought not stare at the ample cleavage on display.

Instead, he focused on your words, and realized he hadn’t known what the play was about. Not beyond the vague description he’d read in the paper when he was planning to go anyways. It occurred to him how out of it he must’ve been for that, and he felt a sense of dread at the thought of going back.

“What are you doing here? You know there’s a singing portion coming up right?” You started moving again, and he followed along.

“A fella can’t take in a nice...musical…experience every now and again?”

You laughed with your whole body, he loved that. “Yes, a fella can. But not a John Marston.”

He chuckled. “Ok, that’s an astute observation Miss (L/N).”

“My my John, when you clean up, you clean up.” You gave him an impressed once over, and turned to face the counter. “Can I have the assorted hard candy please.”

“I’ll pay.” He was reaching for his money clip before he’d even said it.

“Oh no,” you shook your head. “I really shouldn’t even be having any. I appreciate it-“

He handed over the dollar, ignoring your pleas. “I want to. Can’t forget it was you that sat that golden opportunity in my lap.”

“Well thank you then. It was my pleasure though...in every sense.” You gave a coy grin that went straight to his groin, and thanked the man at the counter.

“Wait, don’t go.” He grasped your upper arm, careful not hurt you.

You glanced back at him, and tilted your head in question. “I should get back, my friends will worry.”

“Can I,” he paused, cursing himself for not picking up the ability for pretty words like he did shooting from Dutch. “Let me just talk to you.”

The both of you glanced at the man at the counter, who only barely pretended not to be listening.

“Over there.” He nodded to a hallway off the lobby, and gently pulled you after him.

“John,” you paused in your words when he backed you into a wall. “We should make this easy and just cut it loose.”

He pressed his forehead against yours. “Baby, our situation is anything but easy.”

You sighed, and brought a hand up to stroke his scarred cheek. “Your wife is in there, probably waiting on you.”

“She’s probably hoping I got trampled in the street.”

“I would’ve said no to that before I saw her tonight. She’s kind of awful.” You lowered your voice like you didn’t want to admit it, but you had to say it anyways.

He saw that sympathetic look return in your eyes, and he felt ashamed under you gaze.

“I’m kind of awful too.” He admitted reluctantly, but he wasn’t comfortable being painted in an innocent light.

“I suppose,” you sighed, and when you pressed your lips to his scarred cheek again, he held on to you tightly.

He gave into the back of his mind, and started moving on instinct. The shudder you gave when his lips found your neck only served to fuel him on. You were trying to come up with weak excuses, but your actions contradict them. Your hands found his back, and gripped it in a way that called to mind how many scratches you’d left there.

It wasn’t hard to recall how carefree you two had been on his ranch. All you had to do was dodge a non-intrusive friend, and an old drunk. You may as well have been alone.

“John.” Your voice came out a messy combination of a gasp and a moan, as you cupped his neck. “What are you doing?”

“Something nice if you’ll let me.”

“Wha-“

Your next words died on your lips when he slipped under your dress.

“John have you lost your-” A few seconds later he felt your hands gripping the back of his head through the material, and a low moan fell from your lips.

He focused completely on your pleasure. A way to say thank you, for not letting him get swept away in a sea of dread. A way to say sorry, that he couldn’t whisk you away like you wanted him to, and like he so badly wanted. He could give you this though, and as your nails pressed through material and into his scalp, he hoped that’d be enough for the moment.

[randombtsprincessa]

Aberrations || 5

Author: Randombtsprincessa

Characters: Yoongi x Reader

Chapter:  01  02  03  04

“Y/N Y/L/N, get out here now.” I groaned into my pillow.

What a fantastic way to begin my goddamn day; being yelled at by my roommates. I scrambled out of my cozy, comfortable bed and padded out, scowling at my pristine and beautiful looking best friends while I most likely looked like a sack of potatoes next to them.

“Don’t you want to get to class?” Ara asked, raising her eyebrow at me.

“No, I am giving up on education and embracing the joys of sleep.” I said, taking a seat next to Doona as they both glanced at each other. “Well, that is not a relationship you want to encourage.” She said, reasonably.

“Really…? Because at the moment, my bed is treating a whole lot better right now,” I snapped.

“Coffee,” Doona said sagely and Ara quickly began pouring a mug as Doona reached out to rub my back. “It’s Yoongi again, isn’t it?” she asked.

I caught the glance Ara sent towards Doona and narrowed my eyes. “Who told you?” I asked immediately. I knew them long enough to catch the telltale signs.

There was a pause and Doona sighed. “Taehyung blurted it out last night.” She muttered. “Wow, I’m going to break his glasses today.” I vowed but Ara tsked, setting a steaming mug in front of me.

“Question is; why didn’t you tell us?” She asked.

“I’m taking care of it. You guys don’t always have to be worrying about me,” I mumbled.

“Bullshit, Y/N, we’re best friends, we look out for each other. What are you going to do?” Doona asked.

I put the mug down and began telling them about my plan to sabotage Yoongi and make him fail while Taehyung might have a shot at the first place. There was silence when I finished and I didn’t need to look up to see Ara and Doona were staring at me while exchanging alarmed looks over me.

“Wow, who’s influenced by Yerin now? That’s really harsh and you slapped him.” Ara said, a slow grin spreading over her lips.

“Ara,” Doona frowned at her before looking at me. “Are you…sure you want to do this? What if he figures it out?”

I smiled grimly, picking up my coffee mug. “I’ll get ready.” I said, walking into my room and shutting the door after me.

I arrived in Writing class on time, sitting down next to Yerin who threw me a look before leaning back, clicking her pen while running her nails on her notebook, a wordless question hanging in the air as she posed her air of nonchalance.

“Yerin, I am not going to ask you to ask me what is up.” I smiled sweetly at her and the clicking immediately stopped with a curse.

“Alright, then do you mind telling me why Doona called me telling me to change your mind from sabotaging a certain beautiful bastard we won’t name?” she asked.

“No,” I said.

“Y/N,” Yerin said warningly as Professor Seokjinentered the classroom. “He’s wearing pink today, yum.” I mumbled, hoping against everything that it would get Yerin off me.

“Oh, he’s always yum and we aren’t getting off track here, Y/N. Don’t do whatever you’re planning to do; it will only lead to trouble.” She said.

“Funny, I did it thinking of what you would do. Aren’t you the one who says to make people who hurt you pay?” I asked.

She opened her mouth before pausing, sighing, shutting her mouth before glancing once at Seokjinto see if he was paying attention then turned to me.

“I know what you’re saying, but this isn’t the proper way to go about it. If Yoongi figures it out he will more than like retaliate and it would be worse than messing with a grade. He could go to Namjoon and get you suspended out of that class. What about Taehyung? He wouldn’t want to win first place like this.” She said.

“What do I do then? I can’t just let him walk away from treating me like crap.” I said.

“I know and he won’t. Why didn’t you just tell Namjoon?” she asked.

“He will change my partner and nothing else. There will be no repercussions coming his way. Man’s a genius, he’ll whip up something and get first place anyway.” I hissed and the girl in front of us winced, turning to look at us frowning.

Yerin frowned right back.

“We have a real crisis here, honey, keep working,” she made a shooing motion with her hand and the girl rolled her eyes but turned away, not arguing with my intimidating partner.

Yerin stared at the girl for a bit to make sure she won’t do anything before taking my hand in hers gently.

“Look, we’ll work something out ok? He won’t get away with making you feel so horrible. Taehyung said you had been crying and no one does that to my best friend and lives, ok?” she said.

I smiled softly at her and she kept looking at me for a while before turning to drool over the admittedly sexy Professor Soekjin.

I put my head on my hand, wondering if I was ever going to get over the swirling thoughts of Min Yoongi in my mind.

My steps echoed in the creamy tiled halls as I briskly walked to the practice rooms to see Sehun. True, I still was walking on eggshells around him but I figured if I went I could see Jimin again. The big sweetie always managed to bring a smile on my face with his own, his eyes scrunching up by the way his cheeks lifted.

I opened the door and stuck my head in again, this time a lot less shy over the men in the room. I spotted Sehun standing by the mirror, his face tilted to the side as he frowned into the mirror.

I plastered a smile on my face, walking towards him, watching his eyes widen slightly when he saw my reflection before he was whirling about.

“Y/N, what are you doing here?” he asked.

“I came to see some familiar faces.” I shrugged, smiling when I caught Jimin a few meters away. He caught my eye and smiled and I held up a finger to show him I’ll join him soon. Sehun caught that and he frowned at Jimin.

“You came to see Park?” he asked.

“Familiar faces,” I said again and his frown deepened. I reached for his neck, massaging the nape. “What’s wrong with you?” I asked softly.

He pulled away, backing to the mirror and turning to look at himself again. “Nothing is wrong. I’m just tired.” He said.

“Oh, Sehun, there is something I have to tell you.” I said. He glanced at me in the mirror. “Normally, I would wait till you’re free but we haven’t had time to talk at all and I just really need to talk,” I said. “Maybe you should wait till we have time then, I can’t really talk right now.” He said.

I paused, before starting again.

“You don’t have to talk. Just listen…please?” I asked and he sighed, lowering his body down to a stretch. “Fine, tell me.” I fiddled with my fingers, watching him. “Well, remember Min Yoongi, from the club…? He was being such a dick, saying awful things and I was just trying to come up with ways to teach him a lesson.” I began and he shot me a look, standing back up.

“Hang on; this is what you want to talk about? Some guy who is being a bit of a jerk? That’s what is so important that you had to come right into my practice time? What do you want me to do, beat him up?” he stopped there thankfully and I backed up looking away.

“No…I just,” I stammered, my confidence beginning to drain.

“Y/N, I’ve told you I can’t fight all of your fights. Grow a spine. Seriously, your constant whining is getting really old.” He snapped, hands running through his dark hair as he glowered at me.

I reeled back, blinking. I didn’t know what I had been expecting but it wasn’t this. Sehun usually would tell me to stand up for myself yes, but his support had always been assured…up until now. Now I just felt like I’d been left in the sea without floaters.

“You’re right…I’m sorry,” I said, backing away from him when I saw Jimin walking towards us, concern etched in his pretty face as he looked between me and Sehun. “What’s wrong? Don’t tell me you’re fighting.” He said.

Sehun turned to glower at him too. “Stay out of it, Park. It’s your friend’s fault she’s like this.” He snapped.

I gasped, looking at him. Why was he lashing out like this?

“…Yoongi…?” Jimin asked, his eyes turning to me and a hand settling on my arm. “It’s nothing, Jimin. Don’t worry about it,” I mustered up a smile for the worried boy beside me.

“Well, if it’s Yoongi, why are you yelling at her then?” he turned back to Sehun.

“Jimin,” I hissed but Sehun’s face had already softened, as if Jimin’s words had switched something in him.

He sighed, lowering his head before giving me an impish look. “He’s right. I’m sorry; I shouldn’t be taking my stress out on you. Come here,” he said.

Jimin and I both stared at him, his hand still on my arm as we gaped at him mood swing. “Baby,” he said again and Jimin removed his hand, watching apprehensively as I put my hand in his.

He pulled it to his lips, kissing my knuckles softly and smiling. “Forgive me please; I’ll make it up to you? Date night, this Friday, at Dark Wild; just us, no one else,” he said.

I opened my mouth, wanting to ask him if he thought I would always be free whenever he asked but I didn’t want to when he was apologizing. Besides, I was actually free. I nodded mutedly, ducking my head when he leaned in. He paused, watching me before placing a kiss on my head and letting me go.

“Bells’ about to go, you should get to your class and tell Min Yoongi to stay away from you.” He said, tacking the end part on but I didn’t say anything, still feeling off about the way he’d snapped on me.

Jimin took a step towards me but clearly though the better of it under Sehun’s gaze but I still shot him a wistful smile which he returned a little hesitatingly.

I was almost down the hall of the practice room when I heard my name being called and running footsteps. I turned to look at Hoseok as he skidded to a stop in front of me.

“Look, I’m sorry about Yoongi.” He said immediately.

I raised my eyebrows coldly at him.

“Ok, maybe you don’t believe me and I don’t exactly know what he said to you because the man can clam up like a freaking shell and,” he raised his hands, “I’m not fishing for you to tell me either but I can tell it was bad. I just want you to know I don’t support him in his behavior towards most people.” He said.

I crossed my arms, waiting for him to continue.

“I think Jimin told you that we only found out that you were his partner and the one he was bitching about that night when Sehun introduced us. If we’re going to be around each other, I just think it’s best to clear the air. We are Yoongi’s friends after all, not Sehun’s, not really. He can be a bit of an ass at first. He even made Jimin cry one time.” He was rambling at this point and I sighed.

“No offense, Hoseok, I don’t see the point of what you’re saying.” I said.

“I’m saying that he takes really long to warm up to someone.” He said and I cut him off. “I doubt he’ll ever warm up to me, Hoseok. I found out what he truly thinks of me and even if he does warm up to me, I won’t.” I said.

“I understand that but I talked to him and I asked him what happened with you. I could tell he’d forgotten to turn his filter on and had said something to you. I’m just…he looked like he regretted whatever he did.”

“Forgive my skepticism.” I said.

He sighed but nodded. “I just wanted you to know. I’m sorry for what he did, again.” He gave me a fleeting smile and turned to walk away as I huffed, holding my bag close to me almost like a shield and just went off home, not wanting to go to Music classes at all.

Sehun could either understand or he could think what he wanted to.

The rest few days I spent completely avoiding Yoongi. Yes, I dropped the idea of trying to harm Yoongi in the Studio project and told the girls that I would go through with it while trying to curb any further urges to murder him or smack his right across his too pretty face.

I glanced down at my hand as Yerin rambled on about how we would get back at him after the month and the project ended. That way I would be back in the safety of Taehyung’s partnership, the watchful yet oblivious gaze of Kim Namjoon and with a solid blockade from Min Yoongi. No way could that plan backfire, right?

However, I just couldn’t stop thinking about him. I thought of His stupid face, his stupid hair colors, his stupid hands that could play piano tiles without even looking and I just couldn’t get his words out of my mind. What kind of masochist was I?

Yes, Min Yoongi was dangerously handsome but he had the personality of a water rat. Why would my mind just not comprehend that?

I spent my days keeping a good look out for Yoongi and I found that when you were trying to avoid something you find that exact same thing more and more. I would follow Taehyung till Hope World and as soon as he vanished inside so would I but then I would see Yoongi walking in and I would have to backtrack into a storage closet as he walked into Genius Lab. I didn’t come out till he closed the door.

I was officially in the pathetic territory.

Well, at least I had the date to look forward to.

At 6 on Friday, I put on the clothes assigned to me by Doona and put on the lightest makeup I could that would pass Ara’s close inspection from the couch in the living room.

I turned when Doona opened the door, zipping up my gladiators. “He’s at the door and he looks smoking hot. Make sure he makes it up to you nicely and have fun.” She smiled, handing me a clutch and I gave her a fleeting smile back as I let myself out of my room, looking at my tall boyfriend.

She was right, he did look good. Clad completely in black, his hair pushed off his forehead, he was nodding to something Ara was saying. I gulped, my mind immediately thinking back to the day Yoongi had been in full black. All that was missing was a cap.

I mentally smacked myself, smiling widely at my boyfriend as he grinned back at me, curling an arm around me to give me a chaste kiss. “You’re looking good, baby.” He said. “Not too bad, yourself,” I said as he laughed, before nodding at my best friends.

“I will make sure to have her back by midnight, ladies.” He said.

“Oh please, Y/N, I do not want you at our doorstep till next morning. Have fun, live a little, now get out.” Ara said, pushing at us till we were out the door.

We both had wide eyed looks on our faces as we looked at each other before shaking our heads at our friends.

“So, shall we?” he asked.

“Please,” I smiled, taking his arm.

The date sucked.

I wasn’t trying to be mean but when Sehun said that it would be a date, I thought that he meant a proper date; dancing, drinking, having fun, like we used to with our eyes stuck to each other.

Of course, the moment Sehun and I entered Dark Wild; his gaze and attention was off me and everywhere else.

We stood near the bar where he ordered his first drink, chugging it down as his eye scanned the dance floor while I attempted to tell him about my week as he had once asked though I doubted he remembered it at the moment.

I stopped talking in the middle and he didn’t notice, instead he kept nodding to utter silence as I just stared at him. He must’ve noticed because he looked at me suddenly. “So, what happened then?” he asked, pulling his lips into his mouth.

I badly wanted to scoff and roll my eyes at him. He almost treated me like I hadn’t had any time to study over the course of our year of a relationship. Didn’t he know that I knew he pulled that expression and that line so I would think he’d been paying attention when he hadn’t?

Did he really think me that naïve?

I was about to say something when his phone rang. He froze for a split second before giving me an apologetic look as he pulled it out, inspected it and made a face; disconnecting the call and shoving it back in.

“You were saying?” he asked.

“I just…nothing,” I sighed, “Tell me about you, how have you been?” I asked.

Off Sehun went.

His classes, his popularity, his friends, his life, everything was suddenly the greatest thing ever. He was hyped for the gig he was getting and I interrupted. “You didn’t tell me what the gig was about?” I asked.

His smile fell. “It’s a surprise, babe. I can’t ruin it for you just yet.” He said.

His phone rang again but he sighed, grabbing my hand. “I’ll ignore it, come dance with me,” he said. I followed him to the floor and he spun me about and held me close enough to his body then I could hear the phone ringing all the time.

“Sehun, just answer it or put it on silent.” I said.

He stopped moving his body in time to mine. “Would you mind giving me one second? I’ll just tell them not to bother me,” he pushed past the other people, leaving me to just stand there.

I moved back to the bar and stood there for a few minutes, a few more minutes and then a few more minutes.

The bartender asked me if I wanted a drink three times and on the fourth I asked for water which he gave me with a small frown. He knew us all and he’d seen Sehun. You didn’t have to be a genius to know he was wondering what had just happened.

To be honest, even I was wondering.

Sehun finally returned with a slight smirk on his face and returned to his position to me before dropping his gaze back on the phone.

“So, want to dance again?” I asked.

“Oh…no, babe, I just got wiped out.” He said.

I passed him my glass of water and he took a couple sips before putting it back on the counter top, his fingers zipping across the phone screen.

“Is something wrong?” I asked.

“No,” he muttered.

“Well, then can we get out of here?” I asked, trying to make my voice sultry as I leaned into him, pressing my lips against the base of his neck. He frowned immediately, pulling his phone away as he stood up straighter.

“Y/N, what do you think you’re doing?” he asked, moving a little distance away and slouching back, expression smoothening out as his eyes met the phone.

Humiliation burned in my chest. Sehun hadn’t bothered to keep his voice down, and I could see people giving us some looks from around the round cornered bar top.

This time, I didn’t let it stifle.

I grabbed my clutch and swung the beaded strand over my shoulder. “I’m going home, Sehun.” I said and turned around walking briskly away.

“What do you mean, you’re going home? I’m not leaving yet.” He said his voice not very far behind me.

Oh, so he had decided to follow.

“I don’t want you to leave either. Stay and have fun on your date with your phone.” I said.

“Y/N, don’t be immature,” he began but I cut him off as I yanked the door to the exit open. “Don’t tell me what to do or not to do, Sehun.” I spat and left.

The night had turned cold, I realized as I clutched my thin jacket close to me. I would’ve brought a thicker coat if I had known that I wouldn’t be leaving with Sehun. I chuckled darkly to myself. It was just my luck, I decided.

First I had to meet a complete douche bag Min Yoongi who refused to leave my mind completely and then Sehun had to make a complete 180 degrees and become a total stranger, one that I had no clue how to maneuver myself around because of his mood swings.

Well, for just tonight, I wanted to be a strong, independent woman and walk out first. I was proud that I had managed to do that without a drop of alcohol.

Sehun hadn’t bothered to actually leave the club for me and I was not going to give him the satisfaction of knowing that I had crawled back home, shamefaced. Ara and Doona would understand yes, but they were not going to side with me against Sehun’s new attitude. He was the Golden Boy; he was the perfect boyfriend, for me or for anyone.

Ask me a few months ago and I would say the same.

Only now, I wasn’t so sure. Why wasn’t I sure anymore? What had changed? Was it Sehun? Was it me? Was it something completely different?

I couldn’t go back home, I thought, coming to a stop on the sidewalk but I also couldn’t just wander about.

I checked my watch to see it was just a few minutes past nine. We hadn’t even been there a whole full hour. It wasn’t all that late, but it would soon get that late. Already the cold was beginning to bother me.

I chewed onto my bottom lip, tasting the raspberry lip gloss on them, Sehun’s favorite. I whipped my hand over my mouth, removing all the vestiges of it.

I opened my messages, pulling up Yerin’s chat to text her to see if it was ok if I could swing by.

Yerin was a lot more open with Sehun’s misgivings. She had had a few bumps with him herself and would probably be more understanding than Ara and Doona. Even as I typed it out I heard a painfully familiar voice call my name.

I froze, the air stopped, the earth ceased it’s rotation as I carefully unfroze my body and turned to see Min Yoongi walking towards me.

His hair had changed colors again, this time looking darker but I couldn’t pin the exact color in the night lights. He was dressed differently too, white shirt and a black jacket over it with black dress pants. Why was he dressed like that and why did he look like he could walk a runway in them?

My body flew into panic mode. I hadn’t seen him in nearly a week. I had become almost immune. Why did he have to come up and ruin it all for me right now?

I took a few steps back as if I was going to run before my brain snapped at me.

What happened to strong, independent woman? Stay and fight back!

He stopped a few meters from me, keeping distance from me as he watched me curiously.

“What?” I asked.

“What are you doing here at this time?” he asked.

“Why, am I not allowed to?” I asked.

He frowned at that, his eye dipping slightly. “That’s not what I meant. It’s cold and it’s getting late. You shouldn’t be walking around like this.” He said.

Was he actually…concerned for me? What the hell did he think he was playing at? First he insults me horribly then this?

“Save the faux concern, Yoongi.” I said, turning away from him but he spoke again. “Were you with your friends?” he asked. I sighed.

“No, I was with Sehun.” I said.

Why was I still talking to him?

The change in his expression was immediate. His eyes narrowed ever so slightly, his smooth mouth pursing and jaw clenching. It was gone just as quickly but I was sure it had been there. I hadn’t touched a drop of alcohol and I couldn’t have been imagining it.

“Why aren’t you with him then?” he asked.

I hesitated. “I had to leave.” I mumbled.

“You had to leave…to wander about alone at night?” he asked.

I snapped my eyes up at him. “What do you care Min Yoongi? Why do you care if I wander about alone or not? I think we both made it clear what we thought of each other.” I said.

He scowled at me, lines appearing in his forehead as he took a step towards me.

“Come with me.” he said.

His hand shot out, wrapping tightly around my forearm in an iron grip and I gasped, trying to pull away immediately. “Yoongi, the only way I’m coming anywhere near you is if I have something blunt and I’m aiming between your legs. Let go of me!” I said.

He audibly rolled his eyes, giving me a tug as he began to walk.

I resisted the whole way as he led me back to a more upscale neighborhood, his grip never once leaving me. He stopped in front of a posh looking building and opened the door, not bothering to see if I was hit or not as he led me to a set of elevators, pushing me in.

“What the hell, Min Yoongi?” I gritted out, rubbing my arm, hoping it wouldn’t bruise.

“If you think I was just going to let you walk away alone, you’re dead wrong. Especially,” he paused, his eyes moving to me before slowly moving down my frame, “Especially not dressed like that.” He said.

I blinked at him, my mouth opening slightly.

Was that a compliment?

Of course, knowing him he probably meant it badly but I was too tongue tied to say anything as the elevator doors opened into a hallway decorated lavishly with a large mahogany door at the end.

He went out first, and I followed as he unlocked the door and opened it. I meekly followed as he waited for me to walk in first.

The inside was a combination of modern and classy. A large window facing the city skyline twinkled with the city lights and I stopped just a few steps inside when I realized where I was.

I was in Min Yoongi’s home.

Yoongi brushed past me, walking in further before shrugging out of the jacket, throwing it on to a chair before nodding at me to come further in.

“You…live here?” I asked in awe. I moved to the window, looking out at the stunning view.

“Technically, it’s my brother’s place. He’s abroad, rarely comes over so he gave me the house. My family takes care of the rest of everything.” He said.

I didn’t look back at him, I didn’t think I could.

“Generous family,” I muttered.

“Yeah, well, I am the youngest. They spoil me.” he said.

No kidding, I thought. So, Min Yoongi was a rich kid. That would explain his crying personality.

I moved to the side slightly, my eyes falling into a small alcove in the wall which was devoted completely to photos. Frames hung on the wall, the small black console laden with more. I picked one up, which sported a tall man wrapping an arm around a blank faced Yoongi and another smiling pretty woman. I didn’t recognize the woman but I would recognize the man in the middle anywhere. He was in magazines, newspapers, sometimes on the TV as well.

Min Yoonjin.

I gulped.

I turned slowly to face him. He was looking out the window, his eyes distant but he looked at me when he saw me watching him. “You’re Min Yoongi.”

He smirked immediately.

“Glad to see your memory’s intact.” He said.

I scoffed. “You’re the little brother Yoonjin talked about. You’re the youngest Min.” I said.

He scowled again. “You know my brother?” he asked.

“Hard not to, he’s everywhere, everyone knows him. Nobody knows you.” I pointed out, putting the picture down. “That is how I prefer it,” He muttered before raising a hand to scratch his neck.

“Well, why did you bring me here?” I asked.

“I wanted to…well, see, things may have gotten a little out of hand the last time we were face to face. You kept ignoring me so…what I’m trying to say is…look, I could’ve handled it better.” He said, stammering.

I waited.

“I just want to say I’m sorry.” He spat out.

His shoulders slumped and his arms relaxed, as if a great weight had been lifted off him.

I bit my lip.

Min Yoongi was apologizing to me.

I studied his unfairly gorgeous face but now he looked vulnerable as if he’d never even thought he would be in this situation. In the light I could see that his hair was now a deep chestnut with small flashes of orange. It was…oddly cute.

“How sincere are you? Are you just saying it because Hoseok told you to?” I asked.

He rolled his eyes at me.

“So, Hobi got to you huh? No, sweetheart, very rare people can get me to do anything I don’t want to do. I’m not an apology man. If I’m saying sorry, I mean it. So, quit being high and mighty about it. I’m sorry for implying things I shouldn’t have.” He said in one breath.

I relaxed on my feet, nodding slightly at him.

“Ok?” he asked again and this time I nodded more obviously.

“I mean I’m not saying it’s ok, but just don’t do it again.” I said weakly before clearing my throat.

There was a short silence before Min Yoongi did something that made the ground slip right out from under me.

He smiled.

He smiled an honest to god, no smirk; true smile.

His eyes closed up, like Jimin’s did, his nose scrunched and his gums showed as he said one word, “Noted,” as easily as if I wasn’t reeling in shock.

 That was how after half an hour later, we were sitting on his expensive sofa set, talking about various things, munching on pizza and watching K-dramas before I’d asked him why he’d formed an opinion about me the first time.

“Because I’m a Min,” he said simply.

“Girls would line up for me, no lie, in high school but I soon learned that they either wanted to go through college on my shoulders or would try to get with my brother, who was the hottest shot in college. It got so bad; I don’t even want to affiliate with my family name until I get out of college. When you approached me, I didn’t think you had recognized me, I mean, I do get noticed because of my looks but…yeah,” he cleared his throat when he caught me rolling my eyes, even though he had caught my eye because of his face.

“I can’t really explain why I thought you were digging on me. Maybe because the way you cut off your boyfriend’s call.” He shrugged, chewing on more pizza.  

“It didn’t get any better later because you acted so snobby – yes I know you know I said that but I realized I must’ve crossed a line when you hit me.” he said.

“I’m not sorry about that.” I said.

“Of course not, sweetheart,” he said.

I flinched slightly when he called me sweetheart. Now that it wasn’t said out of contempt, it caused something to tremble inside me, something that I couldn’t name and I didn’t want to name.

Instead, I unfolded myself from the couch and stood up, putting on my shoes.

“I should get back, it’s late enough.” I said.

“I’ll call a cab for you.” Yoongi said, picking up his phone as I zipped up my shoes again, taking one last view out of his breathtaking window.

The cab arrived ten minutes later and I opened the door before turning to him.

“Does this mean we’re friends now?” I asked hesitantly.

He gave me a sly look. “Besides, the school board, Jimin and Hobi, you’re the only one who knows who I really am, Y/N. I’d say it constitutes as friendship.” He shrugged again, as if it wasn’t a big deal at all.

“Right,” I frowned slightly, looking down and slipping into the cab but he tapped on the window. I slid it down.

“Don’t miss any more studio sessions. We don’t have a lot of time to do much and I don’t want to fail, understand?” he asked, his voice just a tad bit stern.

I nodded and he gave a sign to the driver who pulled away from the building.

I turned around to see him standing there, his hands shoved in his pockets as he watched the cab drive away. I turned back quickly almost as if he’d caught me staring at him.

My first thought was “What the fuck just happened?”

My second thought was how cute Min Yoongi’s smile was and just how stupidly endearing he looked when he talked about learning the piano when he was 10. My mind said it was normal to feel this for a friend because I was just an affectionate person but a small part in that logical mind knew that whatever I was feeling was way beyond logical or rational.

[chiseler]

SEE REPTILICUS AND DIE

If there are no monster movies on TV, you need to surround yourself with monster movie books, don’t you?

I grew up in an age when there were just three television channels in the UK. Aeon-long days would creak by with nothing on, or at any rate, no deformed freaks of nature menacing the nation, unless you counted Jimmy Savile. Unseen people called schedulers (I have yet to see one), moving in ways more mysterious than God’s, would then put two Ray Harryhausen movies on opposite channels at the same time. And the stronger stuff, the Universal and Hammer films, were always past bedtime, but if I was very lucky, I might be allowed to stay up to see Bela Lugosi or Boris Karloff, my Dad assigned to watch over me and intervene at the first sign of trauma.

It just wasn’t enough, these intermittent doses of monsterdom (Saturday late night double features in the summer were waited for all year round). So monster books scratched the itch, as well as providing glimpses of peculiar pleasures no scheduler seemed even aware of: Philippino vampire movies, Japanese knock-offs of Edgar Allan Poe, Godzilla and all his assorted tag-team cryptids. Thumbing the pages of big library books (not till later did I own any of these) I feasted my eyes, glutted my soul on their accursed (but blessed!) ugliness.

The king of all these books was a putrid green tome called A Pictorial History of Horror Movies, by Denis Gifford. Gifford was an expert in two subjects, it seems, horror movies and British comic books. The latter subject interested me only in so far as a publication called Shiver ‘n’ Shake depicted comedic versions of horror movie characters: thin gruel, but still monstrous and therefore OK (the real glamour was in US comics, particularly Marvel). As for the movies, Gifford had undoubtedly seen a lot, including perhaps movies like The Terror (1928) and The Cat Creeps (1930), now lost to time, but his books jumbled images willy-nilly, including stuff probably even the author hadn’t viewed. Part of the book’s incredible exoticism lay in the thought that these movies existed, that they might, somehow, be seen – and with that desperate hope, the suspicion that perhaps they couldn’t, that perhaps schedulers, even more solicitous and powerful than parents, would always contrive to protect me from Horrors of Malformed Men (1969) and Saint George and the Seven Curses (1961), goddamn it.

So a couple of years ago, reveling in the new age of availability, when any movie not altogether destroyed can probably be viewed, through one avenue or another, I decided to see every film Gifford had chosen to include a picture from. The lost films can only be seen in dreams, or by channeling their essence into new movies, like Guy Maddin is doing, but most of the rest have fallen into my hands and been eagerly consumed, from House of Horrors (1946), with the genuinely disfigured Rondo Hatton, to The Monster Maker (1944), with disturbingly lumpy mock-acromegaly by Citizen Kane makeup artist Maurice Seiderman. Some of my discoveries have been putrid: Pharoah’s Curse (1956) sucks so hard my plasma screen turned concave, and The Man in Half Moon Street (1944) is even duller than the Hammer remake: I’ve yet to make it through a sitting, and the fact that I’ve sworn I will adds a wearisome sense of duty. But many of my discoveries have been pleasant: The Monster and the Girl (1940) surpasses its generic title and its hokey gorilla costume and got me fired up about director Stuart Heisler; Raoul Walsh’s The Monkey Talks (1927) is a stunning oddity full of melodrama and pathos, and Dr. Renault’s Secret (1942) was just one of a range of mad scientist films from the era that really delivered. Most of the others starred Karloff, felt interchangeable even while they were on, but delighted my nine-year-old soul.

Here are a few that have so far escaped my clutches:

Balaoo, the Demon Baboon (France, 1913). Apparently a fragment of this survives in an archive in Canada.

The Exploits of Elaine (1915), an adventure serial which qualified for inclusion due to a cameo by Jekyll and Hyde.

Castle Sinister (Britain, 1948) from the annus mirabilis of British movie-making, a film that is never, ever mentioned.

Are they lurking in your collection?

Another unviewed film is the Danish dinosaur epic Reptilicus. Since I named my strange quest See Reptilicus and Die, I feel I have to save that one to last.

by David Cairns