#omg should I write something in the Aftg fandom now?

[speakingofalice]

**TGR Spoilers**

OKAY WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THE RAVEN/FOX FIGHT AND NEIL

I saw that there has been some talk that Neil “I’m fine” Josten lay on the court floor after he was attacked not because he was that hurt, but to milk it to the crowd/refs and honestly, and respectfully, I disagree wholeheartedly.

Of course we weren’t there in Neil’s head and we will never know BUT what we can ascertain is that Neil saw Andrew go down. He saw that exy stick coming for Andrew’s head, slide down his helmet and connect solidly to his shoulder and then Andrew went down. We can then assume, that in the course of a second, he could see frantic movement, chaos not associated with exy violence but with true and frightening violence and just as he went to get to Andrew, get to Andrew, what is going on, get to Andrew. He gets absolutely blindsided.

Sure, maybe the first blow he would have been able to recover from but let’s not forget Lane (?) then came for his neck. Jeremy described it as her trying to break his neck and then says something along the lines of Neil not being able to fight her off.

Neil, who was held down by Riko, by Lola, by his Father was not just going to say down knowing his whole life (Andrew, Kevin, his foxes) were fighting for their lives in this organized ambush. He would never have laid down when he could do something. Because that is who Neil Josten is. He is a do-er. He is a problem-solver. He is a fixer (whether those he’s fixing likes it or not). He is loyal. he is traumatized. He is fiercely protective. He is paranoid. He is a fighter. He is a survivor.

There is no way Neil would play up his injury to the crowd because in that moment, who the fck cares about the crowd? Who cares about the court of public opinion? His people were being HURT.

Neil, who would do anything for Andrew wouldn’t stay down.

Neil, who would never knowingly and willingly allow himself to be checked out by Abby wouldn’t stay down.

Neil, whose whole life depends on his ability to play exy, wouldn’t stay down.

Neil, who could hear Kevin struggling, and Matt and Aaron fighting wouldn’t stay down.

Neil, who could sense Andrew’s pure rage, fright, pain, fighting his way to him wouldn’t stay down and knowingly put Andrew through such turmoil when he could do something to fix it (remember, they act like they’re in each other orbit? They know each other. Even with some secrets)

Sure, Neil “I’m fine” Josten has been through worse… but has he? Or did he think after brokering this deal, getting his father killed, was there when Riko died, who did his best to destroy the Ravens, help Jean, help Kevin, maybe he thought that this was the time to play exy. Forget the world and destroy this horrible team on the court.

Neil went down and didn’t get back up until he was helped off. That boy was hurt. Even days later, he struggled to get out of the car in front of strangers and cameras. He couldn’t stop the pain from his face. He may be an open book to Andrew but he is tough, and a btch and rude to outsiders. He is not weak and here, he showed weakness.

Just my two cents <3

[c-e-d-dreamer]

20 Questions for Writers tag game!

Shout-out to @foundress0fnothing for the tag!

How many works do you have on AO3? 71 total fics

What’s your total AO3 word count? 813,023 total words (this is absurdity... whomst allowed this?)

What fandoms do you write for? I used to write for the One Direction and All For The Game fandoms, but I basically only write for ACOTAR now

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? I mean technically all my top fics are One Direction ones just because it was/is such a large fandom.... So I'll call out my kid-fic one shot as my top top fic, but we'll focus on ACOTAR for the other four: Let Our Hearts, Like Doors, Open Wide (aka Nessian kid-fic); Falling For Your Fools Gold (Nessian pirates); And They Were Roommates, OMG, They Were Roommates (Nessian roommates/friends to lovers); Baby Now We Got Bad Blood (Cassian stands up to Rhys)

Do you respond to comments? I try to? I'll be honest, I am so so so bad about it! Ha ha. I often end up responding super late because I go on reply sprees on AO3. This is reminding me I need to go on a reply spree on AO3....

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Angsty ending? Me? Nah... not 'round here. I am a HEA ONLY girlie

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I would say Let Our Hearts, Like Doors, Open Wide has the happiest ending! I mean marriage? Adoption? So cute and soft and happy

Do you get hate on fics? Ha ha ha ha! Laughs in Rhysta... Literally every single time I mention Rhysta, let alone post updates to my Rhysta fic, my inbox becomes a war zone! Like excuuuuuuse ME for thinking that Nesta and Rhys should work through their hate by fucking nasty! Y'all just hate FUN!

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? (stares into the camera like I'm on the office) . . . . Anyways! Remember back in 2021? When I was but a baby in the ACOTAR fandom? And I said I would never write smut? What a time, what a time....

Do you write crossovers? Not yet, but every day I think about Nessian in the AFTG Universe/as Exy players....

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Thankfully not

Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope!

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Back when I was in the One Direction fandom, some friends and I started a group fic, but we never finished it lol

What is your all-time favorite ship? Nessian my beloveds.... even what SJM did to you in ACOSF could never make me hate you

What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? So last year I started a canonverse/ACOFAS fix-it fic, and I think about it all the time. I have it all plotted and so many snippets of dialogue and scenes saved in my Notes App, but other WIPs always take precedent so I never really revisit it and I really really really want to. I just need to like lock myself away for a month and focus on fics only

What are your writing strengths? Outlining and dialogue I would say? I love plotting out a fic start to finish and I feel like I can always hear character's voices in my head for dialogue

What are your writing weaknesses? Really delving into character's feelings. I feel like that's something that's always missing. That introspective POV, ya know?

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I don't speak any other languages so I myself don't do it, but I do love when other writers do "Illyrian" in fics

First fandom you wrote for? One Direction! Way back in 2012....

Favorite fic you’ve written? I'm not going to lie, this is like impossible to answer.... just because it didn't make the Top 5, and I want to call it out, I'll go with But I'm Only Looking At You. You can never go wrong with Scottish Cassian

Tagging with no pressure: @moodymelanist @kale-theteaqueen @unhealthyfanobsession @whyisaravenlike-awritingdesk @jsmelodies @wishcamper

[rollercoasterwords]

hi rae how are uu!!!

i was reading about mulvey and the female gaze and i remembered you saying something about how it pushes bioessentialist agendas but i don't remember what u said exactly so do you mind sharing a piece of ur mind about this again

also!!!!! i've read captive prince with ur influence and then read ur laurent's pov rewrite and god!!!!! it was so so good it brought me to tears and made me laugh out loud and scream into my pillow at times... the first book didn't stick out to me that well but afterwards?? their dynamic is everything i was missing in life. also reading the first book in laurent's pov was an otherworldly experience, him getting surprised to see damien isn't the definition of all things evil like he thought ahhhh u captured him perfectly i think

also read all for the game series (saw a fanart of neil in ur blog and it kickstarted me getting into yet another fandom) and i was like wtf is this and then later i was like wtf is this but in a positive way. now the characters are all my babies (except kevin like yes i understand his struggles and all but i still see that guy as a little bitch which is a bit ironic when andreil are the biggest bitches to exist but still)

also binge-watched iwtv and goddddd gays with communication problems who happen to be vampires i love them all sm <333 do u have a fav character i wonder AND any thoughts on the last episode?

anyways i hope life is treating you kindly much kisses and good wishes <3

hi i'm good hope ur doing good as well!! such a fun message hang on let me take this piece by piece...

mulvey's male gaze the bane of my existence lmao...yeah the entire theory is rooted in bioessentialism. basically mulvey is basing her theory in freud who assumes that the categories 'father' 'mother' 'son' and 'daughter' are stable + static & therefore assumes that the categories 'male' and 'female' are stable + static biological categories which engender inherently different psychic/interior qualities. mulvey's entire argument hinges on the idea that men will be categorically unable to relate to/empathize with/see themselves as women onscreen--this argument begins to break down when you start asking questions like 'how is mulvey defining 'men' and 'women'? is she defining them, or is she assuming that they're static biological categories? are they static biological categories?' also i disagree with the idea that people are categorically unable to identify with characters across sex and/or gender & think it's kinda dumb tbh. to be fair, mulvey's theory was meant to apply to a pretty specific context and has largely been taken out of that context in ways that are very annoying but not necessarily her fault; still, when the original theory is so rooted in bioessentialism i don't really find any of it useful.

anyway. moving on to the fun stuff captive prince omg!! so glad u enjoyed the series & my own take on laurent...it was SO fun trying to get inside his head & imagine what would have been going on in there i love him so much <3 <3 tricky to write tho bc i was definitely trying 2 walk the line of like. not diminishing/excusing laurent's cruelty while simultaneously showing why he acts the way he does in the first book...abuse as cyclical etc...

and aftg lol such a trip...wtf is honestly an accurate response it's a wild ride but so much fun <3 & not liking kevin...valid honestly i like him but i also don't care abt him that much compared 2 the other characters...u should read 'the sunshine court' at some point it's abt jean & it will probably make u like kevin even less lmao

& finally. iwtv!!!!!!!! i've been obsessed w that show the past few weeks i just binge watched season 1 & have now been watching season 2...SO fucking good omg. personally my favorite character is. armand <3 idc what he does they could never make me hate him...last episode was soooo good claudia is my second-fave character just a smidge after armand i truly think her story is probably the most interesting + tragic out of all of them like. makes me feel a bit crazyinsane thinking abt it BUT her & madeleine. oh my goddddd that scene broke me. don't have many more coherent thoughts currently other than wailing + tearing my hair out etc but i am having a great time nonetheless...

anyway thank u 4 the message love catching up life has been busy but mostly treating me kindly hope it's doing the same for u!! <3

[alwaysraineh]

1, 17, 24, 26! For the fanfic ask game!

yesss omg i’m so excited ty!!!

1. favorite fic you wrote this year

seeing as I only finished fields of gold I think I’m obligated to say that one lol

but for real, I really adored writing this fic and it took me two years to complete (most of the writing happened during year 2 tho, year 1 was mostly planning) and I honestly am considering expanding on the idea and turning it into a novel one day!!! (coincidentally this is also the longest thing I've ever written)

17. fics you’ll continue next year

uhhhhh I hope it doesn’t take too long into next year but I want to finish just breathe (i will stay) for sure

I’m working on a destiel fake dating fic right now that I’m really liking, and then I also have an outline for a chalice au that revolves around the taaco twins!!

plus I usually do the dcbb so it doesn’t really count as a continued fic but there should be something for that as well!

24. favorite fic you read this year

oh my god there’s a lot. I read some AMAZING fics this year so I guess maybe I’ll just do one per fandom for my absolute faves??? idk lol usually I’d have supernatural in here too but this year there were some others that topped the spn fics by far!!

Trust Fall (And Welcoming Arms) - @spanglebangle (aftg - idk if it counts bc I’ve read this literally like ten times but I love it so much and it’s some extremely high quality writing!!)

tell me what it’s like (to be loved by you) - i_kinda_like_writing (omgcp - I read this on a whim and it was honestly so soft and precious and I absolutely fell in love with this portrayal of nurseydex!)

Among the Ruins - @distractedkat (taz:b - the au I never even dreamt of that was better than I could ever imagine! wonderful writing, amazing talent!!)

26. number of favorites/bookmarks you made this year

currently I have eight bookmarks from this year but like... I know I made more than that, I just have a habit of bookmarking until I read and then deleting the bookmark (and I honestly don’t know how to favorite so I wind up going to my history if I want to find a fic again which is a REAL DUMB WAY TO DO IT, ME.)