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aanau · 4 years ago

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this is the ultimate enemy rewrite post cause someone made the mistake of asking me how i’d rewrite danny phantom and the ultimate enemy required its own damn novel

ok the more i think the more i actually want to keep many of the parts the same because TUE i think is actually pretty damn good (with some stuff holding it back like is the deal with most of DP) just with different interpretations/executions, the WHY and intention is changing around a bit. Also i forgot clockworks name until halfway through typing this when it just CAME to me out of nowhere so he’s just mr time guy for a bit.

anyway long post under the cut. i literally do not expect anyone to read this but its here like all my other nonsense. again, not much is changing structurally, but a lot changing thematically.

* I love the original opening. It’s so good. Futuristic Amity Park, surrounded by desolation. What happened? And as we follow Valerie we get more questions. Where are the Fentons? Where is our trio? And the reveal of Dan (i imagine canonically he just goes by Phantom) is fantastic. And the pause and zoom out to Mr Time Guy being tasked with preventing this future and then the baller opening theme plays? Classic. Peak cinema. You have the suspense and intrigue. Fantastic opening would not change a thing EXCEPT FentonWorks is completely gone and replaced, but we can tell it used to be the FentonWorks based on some reused materials in its structure and its location, though it might not be completely obvious.

* So we have the same trigger: the test. The thing that forces Danny to think about his future. He’s been throwing his future away with his ghost fighting with his grades, absences, and mental+physical health and now he’s confronted with the CATs. There’d be some commentary on how stupid it is to place this much pressure on a single test you take as a teenager that decides your future as a bonus via Sam.

* The purpose is mainly to show Danny’s growth from the beginning of this hypothetical rewrite of the series. Earlier, he wouldn’t think twice about using his powers to cheat. But now he’s having some ~inner conflict~ which shows hey he actually is learning “With Great Power...” and is developing a stronger moral code.

* But we also see some resentment. He does all this work, sacrificing his physical and mental wellbeing, and now as he is realizing, his future, to protect people. He rationalizes to Sam and Tucker that he “deserves” to cheat. They understand and they can’t really argue with him, but they still voice their discomfort. Even Sam, the resident “standardized tests are stupid and the education system is corrupt” gal feels like it’s wrong, because she has always felt using your powers to get ahead and take advantage is the problem, not necessarily the cheating itself. The audience is meant to sympathize with bth Sam and Danny’s viewpoints, though.

* Amidst the stress, and amidst the moral dilemma and rationalization of how much Danny sacrifices so why shouldn’t he cheat, we bring back a previous episode plot point: how the ghost portal will explode if the filter is not changed. The Nasty Burger explosion thing is stupid, and we already have this established, and it will also make more sense for Lancer to meet at the Fenton household and for everyone to be there. While Danny studies and gets into an argument with Jazz a ghost attacks and Danny is at peak stress and is now hurt and tired from fighting on top of it so he’s not at his best work and the ghost ends up damaging the ecto filter without him noticing. It starts overheating or whatever it does. This is not Danny’s fault btw im not buying into blaming the 14 yo kid with a dangerous life and not-great adult figures.

* Lancer has a suspicion that Danny is Phantom but he’s never 100% sure. In the original timeline, he wants to meet with the entire Fenton family as well as Sam and Tucker because Danny cheating on the CATs (which only a ghost could do so he goes from suspicious that Danny is Phantom to certain, so Danny cheating essentially reveals his identity) is the final straw for him to want to intervene for Danny’s wellbeing and Sam and Tucker are involved and will need to be there too. Anyway, Danny does sorta accidentally steal the answers in the current timeline in the same coincidental way as in the show (because if he stole them intentionally I feel it’d regress his character TOO much...him accidentally stumbling upon them and the moral dilemma being “do i put them back or do i take advantage of this incident” feels less like Danny is regressing and being the same kid he started the series as to me and more like his progress and growth is being challenged), but he doesn’t yet look at them. The moment he tries to, because Danny looking at the answers is the point of no return where Mr Lancer will be able to tell Danny is Phantom and get everyone to meet (worth noting that the Fentons would have had time to notice the filter needs to be fixed if not for the call by Mr Lancer, that’s why the cheating specifically is the thing that locks the timeline lol). Mr Time Guy intervenes by sending a ghost from the future to stop him, and take them to his lair through the time pendant.

* The trio walk through the castle, seeing little hourglasses with scenes playing out. They recognize some moments from their own lives as well as some historical events and reason that they’re seeing snippets of time. Tucker touches one and gets scolded for it but he’s like “damn did anyone just see that I just saw what happened to amelia earhart” or some other historical mystery askfjdjd. They come across the main “hub” which is currently showing the future with Dan destroying the last of Amity Park

* So here’s where I stop to explain how I think this all works. I generally subscribe to the headcanon that ghosts are “impressions”/minimalistic copies of people who died with unresolved feelings. They’re not actually the people, which is how they can both be people who died and just creatures from another world. Some ghosts are born in the ghost zone, and there are some “deity” ghosts, but those deity ghosts are just really powerful ghosts and don’t actually act as gods or anything, just rulers of the GZ who meddle to keep things running smoothly in their dimension. The GZ runs parallel to the real world (and they “leak” into each other, exacerbated by the existence of the two ghost portals and two halfas who kinda made the two worlds collide permanently...so like before they were running parallel next to each other never colliding with “leaks” but now they bend and collide every time the portal opens or Danny and Vlad transform) so chaos in the human world ends up affecting the GZ etc so the deity ghosts meddle more in the human world to protect their own world with how much chaos the new connections have caused. Maybe I made it super confusing but that’s the best explanation I can think of on how I see it.

* I imagine the dynamic timeline theory rather than a multiverse theory (or fixed timeline where what you do to change history has already been done). Changing something changes the whole timeline, not makes a new one. There’s only one timeline that can be altered. Paradoxes don’t usually exist because Time Guy takes care of them/prevents them as the only person with the power to travel through time, and he can undo events and clean up paradoxes easily with whatever timey wimey magic he’s got. Also time just keeps progressing with or without you if you leave your time unless he specifically plops you back where you exited from

* Back to the story! Danny still has the same first reaction of “wow what a cool power!” cause i love that for him lmao. But he is horrified after. Clockwo—FUCK THATS HIS NAME TOOK ME LONG ENOUGH—ANYWAY CLOCKWORK!! Eggs Danny on for a fight, Tuck figures out the pendants and gives one to each of them, but the fight is still outmatched, forcing them to escape into the future.Really it all plays out basically the same: they meet Valerie who drops hints of what happened, then they meet Dan, they get hints from him, Sam and Tucker take off their pendants before getting killed and return home, Dan tells Danny what happened and traps him in the future while he goes back to ensure everything happens the way its supposed to. Few things I’d add: Sam and Tucker stay a bit longer in the future with Danny. Valerie catches up on the situation and gets back up to kick ass so the kiddos can get away. She probably shouts a warning to them while they run or asks them to make sure this never happens. They run through Amity Park a bit more and discuss what’s happening while hiding from Dan. When Sam and tuck get away back to the present, Dan phases the pendant in Danny and ties him up and sends him into the GZ while he goes back and ensures everything happens as it should.

* Dan is able to pass as younger Danny scarily well. It should be very creepy and unsettling how well he can just mimic the lovable Danny we know. He already had some of the same mannerisms (i noticed in the og how both danny and dan say “oh please...” a lot) but now he also looks like danny and sounds like him

* Same thing happens in the GZ: Danny’s attacked by a bunch of ghosts his future self has screwed over. Dan’s just hella malicious. He just enjoys hurting people and ghosts, and taking things and power (something Vlad does btw, takes advantage of people, hurts people, power hungry, etc). Danny wonders why he’d ever get enjoyment from causing so much suffering but upon some reflection after some comments from the other ghosts, realizes he’d always been sorta a dick to people and ghosts (not horrible, of course, but in the og cartoon there are many instances of Danny taking enjoyment in causing pain to people he doesn’t like and being unnecessarily cruel to ghosts who could probably just be reasoned with, and of course he also has instances of power hunger).

* He ghostly wails (since he knows the power exists, he’s able to manifest is sooner) and escapes and before he takes the medallion out he wants to find out more before he goes charging in (basically showing more character growth—not charging in without a plan, and also having more empathy and thinking maybe he can reason with his older self and appeal to his better nature if he just finds out what went wrong—side note my friend when rewatching DP said he kinda wished for a bit more of a steven universe vibe where there would be more instances of danny needing to be kind and helpful to his enemies rather than punch first questions later and i agree that this would be a good development—obvs not a rule because DP is too fun as an action show with great villains as it is but definitely having MORE instances of that Kindness and Empathy Wins vibe esp since many of the DP villains are so likable—i think many of them are good as enemies-to-allies that would require Danny learning to be more empathetic and diplomatic)

* Danny finds Vlad’s portal and is surprised to see him, a tired weak old man. Dan backstory time! So I take inspo from a fic I read where I see Vlad being an unreliable narrator (cause nothing about him in his storytelling feels trustworthy) so what Vlad has to say is different (but not totally) from what actually happened (and what actually happened is also inspired by this fic). But we’ll get to the truth later. For now Vlad tells in his melodrama how the explosion killed off Danny’s friends and family, Danny had nowhere else to go and came to him, wanted the ghost half removed because of how much pain it has caused him, and Vlad obliged. But here’s where I also take a lil inspo from steven universe and say that dannys ghost half isnt just a tool or something—it is HALF of him. It’s just as much Danny as Danny’s human half is. Same with Vlad’s ghost half. But when you separate the ghost/human halves, you’re left with two unbalanced incomplete beings, which is messy. (Note that in other situations where Danny separates from his ghost half, it’s not as messy as it is here because here Danny is in immense pain and Inner Turmoil which makes the split go horribly). And in this case, Danny is projecting everything he hates and does not want into his ghost half as he splits, meaning you’re left with the half of Danny that is selfish, cruel, uncaring, irresponsible, resentful, and powerful. And that half of Danny does not like his human half for being so weak and holding him back (I have the headcanon that Danny’s ghost half has the potential to be extremely powerful, having been blasted by the whole GZ all at once, but literally CANNOT achieve that potential because of his human half...but that’s okay because power corrupts as we’ve seen). First thing ghost boy does is attack his attacker, and he also HATES vlad, and has no inhibitions or limits on his power, so he separates Vlad from his ghost half and straight up destroys the bitch and absorbs his power—so the “fusion” is not mental/personality at all, just danny’s out for more power and to stabilize his incomplete half and absorbs plasmius’s energy. Then he sees human danny cowering and is angered (probably blames him for everything that happened to them) and kills him. Vlad gets away and dan decides to just let him go since a powerless cowardly vlad full of loss and regret is a much funnier fate to him.

* Danny realizes that if dan is just pure anger and hatred and selfishness incarnate than there isn’t really reasoning with him, but he at least has learned something about himself and taking care of his ghost half and being a better person and takes off the pendant and returns home.

* Right in time as jazz is confronting dan before the ghost portal explodes. Showdown ensues. Dan kicks dannys butt so danny attempts to reason with him: why let this horrible future exist? why not prevent it? is this really what he wants to be? dan had been angry at his human half for letting his loved ones die, so why is he letting it happen again? all that power cant possibly be worth the love of his friends and family. maybe add in a little exchange somewhere where dan figures that danny has spoken to vlad and makes fun of him for trusting him (“lol i knew my 14 yo self was stupid, and should know never to believe a word vlad says blah blah” and mentions that who he is now is all vlads fault). danny loves his friends and family and promising them that he’d never turn into dan is enough. ghostly wail, and final fight that’s more equally matched, and end. dan is permadead and his timeline is erased once danny is sent back to the moment he cheats on the test, he is not taken by clockwork.

* Clockwork saves everyone and explains to danny how he works. Danny also asks what happened with vlad, since his older self mentioned this being his fault. Clockwork explains that after the accident, tons of people flocked to help danny. The foleys, the mansons, his classmates, his aunt alicia, etc (even some ghosts!!) all supported him and let him know he was not alone and he would be okay, but vlad had no one because of the type of person he was, and he forced danny to come live with him, further isolating danny from caring and loving people. Vlad in all his manipulation also made danny further believe it was all his fault and he’s Just Like Vlad and all the bs which is why he made vlad remove his ghost half. Vlad only agreed because he thought he could control danny further by separating him from his powers and potentially use his powers. His intentions were never good. Dan saw that he would have eventually been okay if not for vlad (im basically making a point of the adults in dannys life having responsibility for the bad things that happen, obviously not ALL but like. A reasonable amount). Dan likely agrees that this future is not what wants and he would have liked a happier future, but he’s too fueled by selfishness and anger and cares more about his own self preservation and his power to want to actually change it for himself.

* Danny admits to lancer he was planning on cheating, and because he made the right decision lancer doesnt go through with staging an intervention (though he now knows he’s phantom) and danny rushes home to fix the filter but his parents are already on it, and jazz confronts him (instead of at the school, she was always stuck in the house so she’d be caught in the explosion, since dan leaving her in the school closet doesnt make sense) outside the lab thinking he’s still dan and they talk and everything is okay.

* And the status quo for the series changes as now jazz and lancer know (but lancer is secretive about it like jazz was before), and danny also has gone through huge revelations about himself.

#danny phantom #dp #rant #personal #the ultimate enemy #mine

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echo-three-one · 4 years ago

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Whatever It Takes

A sequel to "A Forgotten Memory"

Alex is once again tasked to continue his mission in pursuing the threat that had caused hundreds of missing persons turn up dazed the next day. But now he isn't alone, join him along with the elite Task Force 141 as they hunt down Nero, discover the secrets behind his plans and put an end to this memory erasing nightmare.

Chapter 1 to another story made by Ray (echo-three-one) Comments and Reviews appreciated! I hope you enjoy! Love you all ❤️

"Resurgence"

"Alex"

CIA Warcom

Boracay Island, Philippines

Alex basked himself on the warm sandy beaches of the Philippines. He wasn't able to enjoy his vacation after the Nero mission, because he was sent immediately to Urzikstan and Verdansk immediately followed. And now that all of those were over, he now laid down on a beach chair and let the ocean breeze blow on his relaxed state.

Philippines was a nice country, the people were hospitable, the food was delicious and unique and the scenery was beyond amazing. Despite his metal leg, people still looked up at him the way they look at tourists and he was all of the hospitality and attention from his fellow Americans who are also on vacation to locals who were just amazed on how the leg works.

It's been a lot of months ever since Samantha forgot him, but he couldn't shake the feeling that they'll meet again, that's why no matter many women try to show interest in him, he shrugs them off politely by pretending he has a girlfriend. A simple lie that he built for himself in hopes of a miracle of meeting her again.

He always brought her letter with him, some edges of it got burnt from the time he manually detonated a C4 explosive to destroy a gas factory, It was almost torn and faded, but he couldn't leave it somewhere safe. He wanted it to be with him wherever he goes.

'Don't you dare forget about me'

His phone rang. He quickly fished it from a small pouch he bought that the locals made and immediately answered.

"This is Alex speaking." he chimed.

"I'm sorry to bother you at this time of day Alex, but I have a feeling you'd want to jump in on this." a British accent so familiar informed him over the other side of the line, It was none other than Captain John Price or Bravo Six, a comrade he once fought with back in Urzikstan.

"I'm all ears." he said, sitting up straight and letting his metal leg sink in the sand.

"Looks like your boy Nero is back on the grid. That Sneaky bastard kidnapped the Daughter of the Head of Defense, again." Price relayed.

Alex's heart thumped faster, his breathing became quick. He wished to meet her again but not like this. Not her being in harm's way all over again.

"Shit. Count me in. But.." he hesitated. He wanted to help but remembered he disobeyed CIA orders back in Urzikstan, making him unable to provide support.

"I've talked to Laswell. She's creating a special assignment for you."

"What does that mean?"

"It means welcome to the 141, Alex." Price said as he cut off the call, followed by a message regarding his departure to their base.

Alex can't help but worry about Samantha's condition. They've played with her memories multiple times and he thought that it would all be over after she decided to alter everything about them. Guess the enemy didn't know and they're still after her.

The soldier leaned on to the small circular glass pane as he looked at the clouds pass by. His hands were fidgeting each other while his non-metal foot bounced up and down at a fast rate. His seatmate, who happens to be a teenager, noticed his distracting leg movement but ignored it as rock music blasted from his ears. He was a completely different Alex right now and he believed that he'll be back to normal as soon as he sees Samantha safe and within his grasp.

When you have a heavy metal stick as a leg, customs is going to be the most annoying place in the world. Everyone looked at Alex as soon as he passes the metal detector and everyone else's eyes were on him. Of course with a few more safety checks and a whole lot of explaining, Alex was good to go.

"So, you're the one they call Alex" the heavily British accented driver mused, breaking the silence of their ride to the 141 base. He was looking at him via the rearview mirror, chewing on what Alex hoped to be gum.

"Yep. That's me." he replied, turning to the view of the British streets which confused him a lot as it was the opposite of American or even Global streets.

"Heard they thought you were dead back there. In Georgia." he added. He was quite the chatterbox but CIA Agents are all about the information.

"Yeah. Tried to manually detonate the C4. After that… I just ran for my life." Alex answered, his head was realizing why he did it. What pushed him to think that he could make it out alive. Was it because it's for the greater good? The idea of freeing Farah's country from the harm of the gas? The idea of a chance to meet Samantha all over again? Or something he couldn't explain.

"Well, we're glad to have you back, Alex. But it's a shame it's no longer in the CIA." the driver waved as Alex opened the door and unloaded his stuff.

"As long as it's still about saving the world." he replied, making the driver smile.

"That's what we do, right?" he agreed as he entered in his car leaving Alex in front a quiet gray building, the Task Force 141 Base, his new home.

Alex pushed the heavy doors open revealing a large hall, multiple round sofas were embedded to the ground and a huge staircase that split left and right greeted him. Multiple heads turned as he opened the said door and slowly walked his way to the nearest person who happened to be panting from exhaustion by the sofa. His metal leg clanked on his every step as the soldiers begin to recognize him. They smiled as soon as Alex's eyes met theirs and some even waved, Alex met them from several missions from the past, some were from the Demon Dogs and his previous designations, Delta Force.

"Where's the briefing room in this huge building?" he asked the soldier in a black t shirt drenched in sweat as he spun his towel trying to keep up with his breathing. He didn't speak but he nodded in acknowledgement and pointed to the hallway on the left. Alex left him a thanks and he walked his way to the direction where he pointed.

Just a few steps after the beginning of the hallway, the people from the main hall cheered and laughed, this made Alex turn around and he saw a young blonde man with spiky hair dash across him, he looked like he's on his way to your destination as well.

"Excuse me! Sir!" he yelled and Alex immediately halted. The young man panted in front of him and took a few seconds to breathe before he countinued his words.

"I'm Gary Sanderson, and I was supposed to guide you to the briefing room. You must be Alex." he reached out a hand and Alex shook it, quietly making your way to the room.

The huge door slid open and they found themselves in a dimly lit room, a huge screen loomed just by the wall and chairs were placed around a long circular table. Alex could spot a few familiar faces, faces he once saw and fought alongside with in Verdansk. There was the balaclava boy, Ghost, the Mohawk Man, Soap, their Captain, John Price and a few big heads from the United States. There were also new faces like Gary, who was now discussing something with another new soldier, a female soldier who sat by Price and a few new more who were already sitting on the chairs. There's also someone missing, Kyle Garrick, he pondered where he was.

The former CIA quickly saw Gary rush to Price's seat and whispered something causing him to lean on his chair, stand up and walk to his side.

"Glad to see you back in the fight, Alex." he muttered, patting Alex's shoulder.

"I won't skip out on this mission, this one's close to home." he replied, patting his back in return.

"Yeah, heard this was your last mission before the Russian Gas."

"Yeah. It's a loose end on my side." Alex nodded, crossing his arms.

"Good thing Shepherd had some sense in him. Not unlike your CIA heads, huh?"

Alex nodded. He remembered he did an illegal thing against the CIA, and that was siding with Farah's forces, who were reclassified as global terror groups at that time. He silently thanked he could still step back in the fight along with the good guys even after that event.

"Yeah. I might have to thank him soon enough." Alex murmured and Price guided him to the briefing which was about to start in a few minutes.

"Before we start our mission briefing, I'd like to welcome each and everyone of you to the 141. A group of the most elite warriors from around the world tasked to eliminate terrorist threats lurking in the shadows. One of which, goes by the name Nero…" General Shepherd's voice was deep and serious, while the screen showed a photo of the guy they're after. His face looked punchable, as manifested by the way Alex clenched his fists while he stared at his soulless eyes.

"… whose goal is still unknown. He poses a threat as he has been out in American soil, which we believe is the one behind the multiple missing and reappearing person cases across the country." he continued, eyeing Alex. He knew a little bit about the case, maybe because he read his report.

"Since he poses no evidence of terrorist activity as of now, we are assigned to rescue and locate the daughter of Richard Coleman, America's Head of National Defense. We don't know why she was kidnapped but we believed it is or ransom or threatening purposes." The general explained, pacing back and forth, his shadow covered the screen.

Alex wanted to say something. Something about the details surrounding the case. It was written on his report. But then again, maybe the general already knew about the alteration, and since Samantha doesn't remember any IP Address, it was no longer worth noting.

Samantha's face was projected on the screen. Alex's heart began to beat faster, she looked different now, a little chubbier, longer hair and her smile felt happier. It was heartbreaking that she got caught in the crossfire again. After all those efforts of making her life normal.

'If our paths would cross again, I hope you'll remember me the way I remembered you before I take this operation, A good memory that's supposed to last forever. '

'Don't you dare forget about me.'

Her words echoed in his mind, using the same voice she had when they were together.

"I will save you again if I had to.." he promised to her mentally, as he tightened the clench he was already doing.

"Our intel reports that twelve hours ago, local informants spotted an unknown flying vehicle just by the Georgian Border, local authorities confirmed that this wasn't one of their aircraft and we believe it could be the getaway vehicle of Samantha Coleman and her captors… We are still looking on to this so for the meantime I want each and one of you to be fully alert and ready for deployment."

Everyone else fell silent. It meant they agreed at what the high ranking official said. A few more words were exchanged such as new additions to the team, aside from Alex. He didn't seem to focus much on the second part of the brief as his mind worried a lot about Samantha. If his instincts were right, she's probably sedated once again, taking a trip down her own memory lane.

Chapter 2 : F.N.G.

#horRAYfic #codmw #codmwfic #Alex x OC #HAUL ASS PRETTY BOY #cheers for chapter 1!!!

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chayacat · 4 years ago

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Devil’s Sweet Star (40)

Fandom: Dead by Daylight

Ghostface x Female Reader

Rated M for Violence, Language and Smut

***

Aaaaaah.... what a beautiful night. A clear sky, stars dosing this beautiful black sky, A full moon, well round, very bright. If werewolves existed, it would be a perfect full moon for them, an ideal evening of blood and chaos for them. But even though he's not a werewolf, tonight is a perfect night for Danny. Finally.... FINALLY, he will be able to kill Hoggins. Finally, he will be able to finish what he started so long ago. Finally, he will be able to turn the page. What to do next? Keep killing of course. But here or elsewhere.... that is the question. He couldn't wait to see you too. But not tonight.

The question that everyone must ask themselves is: but how could he go out with all his equipment, and above all, what will he be able to tell you, given that you live together? well the answer is very simple, and luck is definitely on his side. For the answer, he will simply find a great excuse, out of his awesome and insane mind. And as for luck, you are not at the apartment tonight. No, you spend the evening at Melina's, the latter having invited you to come and watch horror movies at her house. Danny really has a very good star over his head, although he would have had no trouble finding an excuse to go out tonight: being a journalist can be a curse for sleep but also a blessing for murder.

Danny was posed against his van as usual, observing the home of his future victim and revenge: Richard Hoggins. Good god it burned his whole body to go there now and massacre him without any mercy, without any strategy, just... a good bloody murder. But he must remain calm, this is not the time to be spotted and suspected by the police. And amazingly, even Jed, who is only Danny's alter-ego, an identity he had created from scratch, even he wanted to kill him.

“A beautiful night to kill, isn't it? Well... only you can see it.” said Jed inside Danny’s mind.

“I expected you to give me yet another lesson in morality as you know how to do so well. What's going on Jed? Would I have ended up rubbing off on you?” responds Danny chuckling.

“Don't claim victory too quickly. I would never endorse what you do, but let's say I'm going to make an exception for this asshole. He has to pay for Carla.”

“You talk about Carla as if you were the one who lost her forever. Whereas you are just an invention. A simple name. You don't know anything and you don't feel anything.

“You created me the very second you needed me. I may not be real, but I am a part of you, your good side, your past innocence. And also, your psychologist in a way. And I will continue to exist, as long as you need another identity. Involuntarily, you let me access your life, and now we are two sides of the same coin. People would say that... I am your imaginary friend. That looks like you like two drops of water.”

“Oh, shut up...” replied Danny, sighing and looking away.

“... What will you do, when (y/n) learns the truth. Are you going to kill her or are you going to let her live?” said Jed looking at Hoggin’s house.

“It will depend on her reaction. If I could leave her alive.... that would suit me. But if she confronts me or tries to call the police... I will have no other choice.”

“Will you only be able to... that’s the question.”

Danny got up, looked at the house one last time before putting on his mask and taking his knife. It’s time. Let us not make Hoggins wait any longer. The house was just as guarded as McKellan's. But that's not what was going to stop Danny. Far from it. The harder the victory, the more delicious the reward will be. He walked to the side of the house where Hoggins' office was located. The window was closed at first glance but it is better to check.

As usual, he will use the equipment he finds on site. One of Danny's golden rules is never buying any equipment. Otherwise, the police will be able to trace him via his bank account. Beginner error. He climbed up to hoggins' office window and effectively it was closed. But the one in the next room, on the other hand, was not completely. It was an archive room, surely where he kept his contracts, press articles, and anything else that could interest him.

“Well... a real library... I am sure that even the police archives room is not as large and as full of documents as this room... Hoggins protects a real time bomb. If anyone stumbles upon all this... His entire family over thousands of generations will be dishonoured.” Said Danny looking inside the drawers.

And why not take a look? it won't hurt anyone. And with a little luck... Danny opened each drawer and looked at the different files until he found the one looking for: the file recounting the events of 4 years ago. The juicy little contract he had made with Dr. Pheels was to vomit. Certainly, he gave funds to the hospital for each death... but he recovered the double because he took 3/4 of the state aid that Pheels gave him. In the end everyone was a winner. And Hoggins even more.

“Motherf*cker. I hope you have taken advantage of this money, asshole. Because you're going to pay a lot tonight.”

Danny put the files away before passing the door that linked the archive room to the office. The office was empty, Hoggins was not there yet. Perfect. This gave him time to inspect the room. No camera. No alarm. Nothing. Good. The ropes of the curtains could be used to tie Hoggins. Or even more. Compared to McKellan, he did not exhibit artifacts or sharp objects in his office. Fortunately, he had taken his own knife. The office stinked of luxure, we saw that it was made to measure and at a price ... to fall to the ground.

Danny really wonders if he paid for it with "clean money". Rotten as he is, Hoggins may well have paid workers with dirty money, or not paid at all. It's possible with men like him. They are so stingy, so conceited, that they are able to do anything to keep a single penny. Noises were heard in the corridors. He’s coming. Danny got to the door and when Hoggins arrived, he did not see the latter hidden by the door.

“These cop bastards are seriously starting to hit me on the nerves to take care of my business! And that journalist... this Olsen.... if I could make him disappear... I thought I wouldn't fall back on him here. Maybe... maybe I could swing everything on him. After all,... I know who he really is.” said Hoggins before drinking.

Danny quietly advanced behind Hoggins ready to knock him out. The latter still drank a few sips of his glass of whiskey before turning around and falling face to face with Ghostface. The latter did not give him time to do or say anything that he punched him in the face, causing him to fall to the ground, knocking him out instantly. Danny sneered at the inert body before taking a chair and the ropes from the curtain, then lifted Hoggins up to tie him up on the chair. He locked the door of the office and then returned to the archives room where he found a closet in which there were boards, nails and an electric nailer.

He prepared the scene by nailing the boards together, took the remaining curtain ropes and installed all his work in such a place and arrangement that when the police enter, Hoggins' body will be the first thing they will see. And if it could be Willhelm first... the pleasure will be all the greater. Hoggins woke up after a few minutes without panicking, without trying to free himself. As if he knew what lay ahead.

“Well, well... McKellan had acted like you at the beginning... you want to play the big hard... but you are only little girls.” Said Danny chuckling.

“It's funny coming from a man who doesn't take responsibility for his crimes and hides under a Halloween ghost mask. But we have to believe that criminals are all bad guys who want to play the big tough.” responds Hoggins before taking a punch in the face.

“You have more mouth than the other idiot. But you will quickly regret it, it’s me who tells you. You forget who I am.”

“Oh no... I know exactly who you are... Jed Olsen ... or you'd rather I call you... Danny Johnson?”

“...I see that you have done some research... and you have learned your lessons well. After all, you've had plenty of time for 4 years. But you're going to pay for it. Up to the last litre of blood.”

“All this for a poor little girl who was going to die anyway? You're resentful Johnson. You could have simply turned the page and avoided poking your nose into my stuff. I was very saddened to learn of the tragic death of Pheels...”

Danny punched him again before pulling out his knife and planting it in Hoggins' leg. The latter groans in pain before falling with his chair to the ground. Danny put himself on top of him and chained the blows more and more loudly. He lifted Hoggins by the hair and dragged him for meters to place him in front of a wooden cross large enough to hang a man on it.

“You see my dear Richard... this "poor little girl" as you call her had a future. And she could have got away with a treatment. The problem is that Carla had the misfortune to stumble upon you and your dear partner, Pheels. And YOU have decided to let her die in the name of profit. What's stupid for both of you is that you're falling on me. Young journalist... and crazy to bind. She was the only thing that helped me stay upright and you killed her. Pheels paid his share. You're going to pay yours. But for you the bill is going to be heavier. You know why? Because you're also going after MY girlfriend. And that... you should never have.” said Danny, preparing the electric nailer.

“When she learns of it, your little café boss will swing you at the cop. Anyway, you're screwed. I have a whole file on you and when Wilhelm sees it and read it...” said Hoggins with a sneaky smile.

“Oh. Are you talking about that?” replied Danny by exiting the folder. “You've done some really good research tell me. I loved rereading all these things about myself. You could have made it a novel even. Too bad this file disappears with you. At least it's going to burn. You... I'm reserving you for something more... artistic. I hope you are ready to meet your creator. Because you're going to join him right now. And in the same way as him. Or rather in a bloody way than him.”

Danny took the electric nailer and equipped it. He began by shooting Hoggins in the legs, who groaned again in pain. Unfortunately for him no one could hear him. He shot again, but this time in the arms, then in the torso. Blood was dripping from everywhere and Hoggins was finding it increasingly difficult to breathe. Danny detached him and put him on the cross where he nailed him like Jesus.

“You are...completely twisted. You will burn... in hell.” Said Hoggins.

“Maybe. But for now, it's you who's going to rot in hell. Suck the devil’s d***, you son of b**ch.” responds Danny before killing him with a nail in the head.

A demonic smile stretched over his face. That's it... He's dead. But it's not over yet. Much remains to be done. Danny used the curtain ropes to tie Hoggins to the wooden cross. Then with the little one remaining, he created a kind of crown with nails, which he fixed to hoggins’ head. Then he bombarded the whole body with nails, causing it to bleed from all sides.

He then nailed Hoggins' hands and legs to make sure he did not fall and turned the cross over to make the symbol of the devil. This is a very successful work of art. However, one or two small details are missing. It's not bloody enough for his liking. He used his knife to eviscerate Hoggins, then slashed an angel's smile. Danny used Hoggins' blood to write a message on the wall and backed off to admire his work. There... there it’s better. There is only one thing left to do: to make this folder disappear. And the only way... it's to burn it.

But Danny is not stupid, he is not going to put the fire at home. He will burn it outside in the garden. He observed his work one last time, took a picture in order to have a proof to show you, then he left the place. Once away, halfway between the van and the house, he pulled out a lighter and set fire to the folder. He let go of the latter, watched him burn for a few minutes, then went to the van and left the place to go home.

“Finally... It's over. I will be able to turn the page...” said Danny, looking at the road.

“Yes. But you're going to keep killing. And that's not cool.” responds Jed sitting on the passenger seat.

“Did you honestly believe that I was going to change after that? Oh no, obviously I'll continue... but I would no longer be alone. I hope you enjoyed the show from my mind.”

“Make Hoggins the counterpart of God and crucify him? I must admit that I loved it.”

“This is normal... you are me.” replied Danny looking at the passenger seat before focusing on the road again.

Danny arrived in the parking lot of the building. He changed in the back of the van, put his suit in his bag and went up to the apartment. When he opened the door, he noticed that it looked empty. He walked to the bedroom which was also empty. You hadn't come back yet, it was perfect. He went to his office to put down his bag, take out his suit and put it in the washing machine. Once the latter was washed, he began to dry it in his office, which he locked. He took a shower, put on his pyjamas, and threw another washing machine. At the same time, you return, all smiling, exhausted but delighted from your evening. Danny took you in his arms, kissed you and guided you to the room so that you could both go to bed.

What you didn't know yet was that the job was done. Finally, Danny could turn the page on his past. And he shot it in the most beautiful way.

An inverted cross on the photo of a demon.

***

(My first injection of the vaccine is only next Tuesday! I'm a little stressed because I don't know how I'm going to react to this first injection of vaccine. So, I prefer to warn in advance that this could delay the release of the next chapter of DSS. But don't worry! I'm solid so everything should go well! As I told you, I will try to do a small teasing post for fanfic re8, but it is complicated to summarize something without telling too much. And I always struggle to find a title. I hope you’ll like this chapter like the others ones! Well, it's time for my brain to rest! Have a great weekend to you all! See ya!)

#dbd fanfic #dbd #dead by daylight #ghostface #danny johnson #jed olsen

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fordarkisthesuede · 4 years ago

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The Tolls of Justice: the Tarot, Name Meanings, and More!

Gentlepeople…

BEHOLD!

All the tarot-aligned hints! All the future foretellings! All the silly references! :) Everything you might have overlooked is here for you easy-to-read pleasure!

Naturally, there be spoilers a-plenty ahead for Batman the TellTale Series: The Tolls of Justice, so if you haven't read it (or maybe you're thinking about reading it, or this is your first time hearing about it), I'd advise waiting until you're done with each chapter to read through the sections. You can either click the link and be redirected to Ao3, or look through my tumblr tag #ttoj!

*One forwarding note: the tarot references build slowly in this story, and I only use the traditional Major & Minor Arcana. You'll see a lot of jokes and name-type references before we get to the tarot. I also simplified the numerics, but they're often displayed as roman numerals on cards, hint hint.

Prologue

gang member "Four Ears" - a very very off-the-collar reference to the line "Listen up, four-ears!" from J-Men Forever; in context, it was an off-shoot of the insult "four-eyes" but for music taste, also implying the person's taste was "square".

gang member "Muddy Nye" - his name can be boiled down to "muddy river". It works as an allusion to the messy, unclear case ahead of Bruce and the Batfam, but also as a hint to Clayface, who acted as Muddy in his first sighting of the story.

"Sunset" - a reference to everyone's favorite vampire series to pick on, the Twilight series; back when it was at the height of it's popularity, some drug dealers sold heroin marketed towards the crowd based off it's terrible and unfortunately iconic(?) line from Edward Cullen, "You're my own personal brand of heroin"…hence why the drug of choice BM is shipping here is heroin. Essentially, this plot setup is one big joke.

"FIGS" - a reference to POP! vinyls, hence the capitalized name and spiky word balloon on the packages.

"Gray Ghost [memorabilia]" - one of my (and everyone else's) favorite BtAS episodes, which proves definitively that Bruce Wayne | Batman is not only a Huge Nerd™, but also a massive collector of normal fandom things. (Do you think he troughs through blogs and fanwikis…? What am I saying, of course he does. He edits them.)

gang members "Jack Whendleham and Kirby Noltz" - nod to Jack Kirby, comic artist extraordinaire!

Ch.1: A Different Ceiling

[chapter title] - John does not wake up in Arkham at the start of the story, hence waking up to a different ceiling. He also hits different limitations on what he can do, so it's also a different kind of "ceiling". (Like the term "the glass ceiling", the invisible barrier a demographic hits in a hierarchy.)

St. Dymphna New Life Home - named after Saint Dymphna, the patron saint of mental illness. There's no "'s" at the end because I saw other clinics named after Saints didn't use the possessive form when referencing them.

The Lucky Hotel - an oxymoron, really; the unluckiest place to get stuck at with it's seedy history, but also the place where John "gets lucky"…in a couple of different ways!

Stitched Up Alterations - a heavy nod to the wonderful batjokesy line from S2, "We're two threads in the same stitch". It's pretty deeply ingrained in fanon (and technically canon, if you go with The Dark Knight) that Joker makes his own clothes, hence Batman rarely finding him through his tailor. Since John's thrifty and clearly made his original Joker outfit(s), I piggybacked off it as a legit skill to give him. I mean, come on, the guy is always so stylish! And you're really going to look at me and say he didn't alter his thrifted shirts and vests to fit his sleek frame? Puh-leeease.

13th Street - 13 is a traditionally unlucky number in western culture; hence the "Lucky Hotel" there having a bloody history, along with a failed, closed casino nearby.

Corazón gang - okay, I admit…I'm still a weeb at heart. It's a One Piece reference. Corazon was one of the few post-timeskip new characters I really liked; his name is Spanish for "heart", and he sported a heart motif. Like the gang in this story, he also died before the start of the main storyline.

Ch. 2: Face Values

[chapter title] - A reference to the phrase "not taking things at face value", which is very evident in this story. Also doubles as a rather loose reference to the upcoming Tarot cards.

Sebastian Overfield - The name Sebastian means "from Sebaste", as is derived from the Greek word sebastos ("venerable", someone who has a lot of respect). Overfield of course is "over" and "field", implying the family is on a high hill overlooking/overseeing/maintaining a certain field. As Seb is a reverend, this name is well-fit for him.

orange rose [gift from John] - means "passion" in the language of flowers, and can allude to fascination; this can be taken platonically or romantically…but it's definitely romantic when it's coming from John.

blue iris [gift from John] - means "faith and hope" in the language of flowers, and sometimes are associated with royalty; an allusion to Batman/Bruce's overall symbolism in the eyes of Gotham…and John.

Chandis [ship, circa Prologue] - A reference to Chandi | Chandika, the Hindu deity; the short version of their story is that they are a demon slayer, known to be angry and passionate, wield multiple weapons, and ride a lion. And who was on the ship? Hmm…

Ch. 3: Ink Trails

[chapter title] - A reference to the Alterations' claim slip John finds, which ends up leading back to the Court of Owls. It doubles as a reference to the mask tattoo/clue on Ian 'Nito'.

Faith Ackart - "Ackart" is a variant of "ackhart", derived from "ekkehard", which we can say roughly means "brave/hardy". The name "faith" and "hardy" together is another very subtle clue for the audience towards the villains' motives. (Well, I say that, but it was really more of a joke-clue for me to giggle at. And it makes a good reporter name!)

Lou Monger - the guy's a fish monger…with the last name Monger. It's-a joke! ;D

Ian 'Nito' Coggs - first mentioned without his real last name, but "Ian Coggs, Nito", is a pun on the word "incognito"…which is what Clayface is here.

FriendBook/Chirp/bloggr/uBox - takes on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and YouTube respectively. (This started back in my 'Season 3' story, At the Brink of Midnight, though I've since learned that bloggr was a real thing. :T) The 'uBox' is meant to be a play on 'jumping box'/'the box' as other terms for TV, like 'the tube'.

"whole tomato of pins" - the supposed history of tomato-shaped pincushions is that tomatoes placed on mantels repelled evil spirits and guaranteed prosperity, but I really wanted to just allude to the common pin-cushion shape. (My mom once had a whole little basket of strawberry shaped pin-cushions. I remember "borrowing" them a lot as a kid to play with. And then "losing" them.)

"sock and buskin masks" - these are a reference to the "comedic sock" and "tragic buskin (i.e. boot)" of the Greek comedy-tragedy theatre masks. I figured something like them would be a good logo for the "false faces", as BM is obsessed with masks. It also doubles as a natural callback to the "your relationship with x has changed" feature of TT games.

Ch. 4: Suite of Cups

[chapter title] - the first chapter to be a reference to the Tarot, in specific the Minor Arcana of Cups; rather than specifying the card at play outright, this title is a pun on the aforementioned arcana "suite", as the main location of events this chapter are in a casino's hotel suite. One can interpret many Cups cards at play here, but...

○ Specifically, in the Casino's suite/crime scene, there are 8 visible seats, but 7 cups on the table. The 7 of Cups refers to choices, fantasy, and illusion, an indicates there are multiple opportunities or many paths you can take, but they should be chosen carefully; when reversed, it can mean confusion, diversion, and temptation, and indicate a lack of choice or failure to choose.

○ The upright version is definitely in play, with the overall root of TellTale games being choices, and some "the player" makes this chapter will move your relationships with Tiffany and John in different ways, which can strengthen your relationships with them. If "the player" has chosen to be a more violent Batman, the way the Talon - and later, the Court - treats Batman is different.

○ The Reversed reading can be interpreted for the Court's complete disregard for the mere notion of choice.

Bauta - a Venetian carnival mask, meant to represent 'anonymous decisions' via it's original design of protecting identities. It's quite common in carnivals.

Melpomene-Thalia - the Venetian masks for comedy and tragedy, a la 'sock and buskin', the masks used as a general symbol for theatre. You can practically taste the irony, given who's shown wearing it...

Volto - a Venetian mask, meant to represent 'anonymity, quiet exit' for it's blank face. It's also known as the "Citizen Mask" because of it's worn by the common folk (in comparison to the more elaborate masks).

The Lot [casino] - named for "drawing lots", like drawing straws or matches to pick a person to do a task (usually with the shortest straw having to do the task, but it varies). This is both a pun on the fact that it's a casino - where you try your luck at gambling - and corresponds with the theme of foretelling the future that's woven throughout much of the story.

The Wednesday Nighters gang - this doesn't mean anything in particular. I'm a big fan of Midsomer Murders, and there's an episode ("Death in a Chocolate Box") where it references a few dirty cops who frequently took the Friday night shift at a station for episode-plot-reasons, who called themselves The Friday Nighters. It's an off-shoot reference to it, hence the corrupt cops on the gang in this story. :)

[John's voicemail] - Another BtAS episode I love is "the terrible secret of Bruce Wayne". In particular, I loved Joker's voicemail when Dr. Strange calls in ("Boy, do YOU have the wrong number!") and I wanted to do something like that. But, y'know, way less murdery.

"F85H4ND" - l33t-written "Fate's Hand", for…well, the hand of fate, supposedly guiding you through life/events. Another correspondent to the foretelling the future theme.

Michael Hodgson - not all of the names I pick for characters mean anything. Sometimes their names are just loose references to things I like. This is a silly mish-mashup of the original hosts of Mystery Science Theater 3000, Michael [Nelson] and [Joel] Hodgeson. (Joel was the first host + show creator, and Mike was the second host who closed out the original series run.)

"40F5WRD5" [Batcomputer archive] - l33t for the 4 of Swords, a card in the Minor Arcana for rest and restoration; since the archives and file names are randomly generated when not prompted otherwise with manual input, an otherworldly force seems to be saying 'get some damn sleep Bruce'.

[John's ringtone] - I know, TT always has everyone's phone on silent. I don't care. Bruce's ringtone for John is "Mack the Knife", a song about a violent mobster, played on a carnival organ. Chosen because 1) John probably loves that song, 2) I thought it was funny that it has the line "the shark bites - with his teeth, dear - when he shows them pearly whites" and how well that goes with John's A+ dental care... 3) TeamFourStar made jokes in their BtTTS S2 playthrough about having "a special ringtone whenever John calls [them]"…why would I not carry that through? They did get me to where we are now, you know. ;)

Ryde - the in-game stand-in for Lyft, the not-a-taxi service.

Ch. 5: The Wheel Still Spins on the Upturned Chariot

[chapter title] - a reference to 2 tarot cards in the Major Arcana. 1) "The Wheel"/"The Wheel of Fortune", which is a sign for continuous cycles, inevitable fate, and usually indicates good fortune and pre-destiny when the card is presented upright. When reversed, it can signify bad luck and an unfavorable fate. 2) "The Chariot", symbolizing a path forward to success, confidence, and overcoming obstacles; when reversed, it's stands for recklessness and lack of direction/control. 3) As the Chariot is upside down, John's original plans have been upended and everything goes out of his control in a chaotic situation. He’s essentially "not at the driver’s seat" for a little while. "The player" decides which direction to take the wheel in - either letting him lash out violently and send him on more solitary and dangerous path, or satisfy his need for stability by embracing his new relationships. The Chariot is always upturned here, but whether the wheel spins forward or backward is up to "the player's" decisions.

511 N. Blade Street - this one's a bit messy. 511 = V I I, or VII in roman numerals, which =7. The tarot cards are traditionally numbered in roman numerals. North, for pointing upright, and "blade" is synonymous with "sword". So it’s the "7 of Swords", in the upright position – referring to deception and trickery, which is of course what's going on in regards to who Ian 'Nito' Coggs really is…

Apt 1005 - even muddier, but this is referring to the 10 of Swords, which is for betrayal and backstabbing, hinting at the true motives of "Ian" | Clayface. 10-0-5, so 10 and the l33t for "OS" = 10-o-S.

900 Wanda Way - Both a pun on the phrase “wander away” and the 9 of Wands in the Minor Arcana, which alludes to pushing forward to achieve victory. A good allusion for a clinic, me-thought.

400 Wanda Way - The 4 of Wands in the Minor Arcana stands for community, another good allusion for a clinic.

Karen McCarthy - named after the most stereotypically uptight narcissistic asshole the masses have agreed to call 'Karen', and both McCarthyism and another famous lady with the surname McCarthy. Because I wanted you to know the second you see her name that she is *horrible*. (Funny, though, there's 2 senators named McCarthy that are pieces of shit and one infamous quasi-celeb who's the face of the anti-vax scene. Is it just a cursed family name?)

Ch. 6: The Tips of Our Swords

[chapter title] - Refers to the 4 of Swords card in the Minor Arcana, as the "swords" are alluding to the four active members in the Batfam - Bruce, John, Tiffany, and Iman - who work together on the case[s]; you can infer this title to a presentation not unlike the Musketeers joining swords to affirm themselves as a team, as they all gather together. The reversed reading of the card is for restlessness/stress in Bruce's case, and the clear signal of the universe to tell him to relax, and the reading when presented right-side up is for the break it gives to "the player", with the homey atmosphere of the Batfam spending time together. Either reading is completely valid here.

○ BUT, as Alfred is a non-active member of the Batfam, we could also say that 5 of Swords is also at play, right-side-up for the fighting and resentment with Alfred, and John's hinted budding conflict with him; and 5 reversed for Bruce's attempts at making up with Tiffany. If one illustrated the gathering of our four heroes joining swords like the musketeers over a breakfast table, then Alfred would be sitting drinking tea, standing as a symbol of the Ace of Cups, signifying new emotions or stirrings of feelings.

○ If we stretch the metaphor eeeven further, the title can also be a loose reference to the Sword of Damocles; threats always hang above the heads of powerful people, and in this case the looming threat of Black Mask and the mysterious assassin, ever-present in Batman's world…

Dr. Brandi September - literally "Sword" and "Seventh Month", alluding to the 7 of Swords, hinting to deception and manipulation at play.

"I was tired of the soup du jour" - a shameless Devo reference; a tiring of the routine/everyday. "I'm tired of the soup du jour - I want to end this prophylactic tour - ain't nobody around me - understands my potato - I'm only a spud boy - lookin' for a real tomato" - DEVO, "Mr DNA/Smart Patrol".

Motel 11, Augury Road - "augury" is another word for crows; as a gathering of crows can be a method of fortune-telling, this a reference to a gathering of 11 crows, which when seen is supposed to be indicative of disguising or revealing secrets.

Ch. 7: Drawing the Strings

[chapter title] - meant to allude to John aligning the strings connecting the people and crimes together, like an old-fashioned way of mapping clues; can be interpreted as these crime-strings on the proverbial board being drawn closer together, marking the center of the "web" as the Court of Owls

Frieda Baast - Frieda, an allusion to the Norse goddess Freya, who rode on a chariot driven by cats, and Baast, the Egyptian goddess who had the form of a cat. It makes it really obvious who was staying at the Motel 11, huh?

room 14 [Selina Kyle's motel room] - a reference to the 14th tarot card, "Temperance", which when upright is meant for choosing the middle path between choices. This is meant to reference Selina herself, currently at a secret, personal crossroads and being in "the middle"; John can influence her hidden choice by either making her think about what her potential job's employers are really aligning themselves with, or taunting her into how she can't leave her old life behind. (Whether John is violent or not doesn't completely impact her choice, but it does impact how they interact later if Selina winds up in the hands of our villains.)

Oracle, Spoiler, Batgirl, Spectrum - Batman's had a lot of non-Robin sidekicks in comics, including Batgirl (originally Barbara Gordon), Oracle (Barbara Gordon, post-Batgirl-forced-retirement and computer hacker extraordinaire), and Spoiler (Stephanie Brown, who "spoiled" crimes). As a fan of Ao3/tumblr's @fractualized 's own Telltale Bat-verse fics (the "Release John Doe" series), I added in the reference to "Spectrum", which Tiffany became in lieu of "Robin". A wink from one fan-writer to another! ;)

"I'm steppin' out, my dear - to breathe an atmosphere […] - that simply reeks […] with class" - John's singing a classic Fred Astaire hit, "Top Hat, White Tie, and Tails".

Eric, Jerome, Jeremiah, Jack [John's "Normal name" ideas] - As this story allows "the player" to pick a name for John to use in place of his own, you can pick between some classic and modern references to Joker's alternate personas over the years. Eric White Border (edit: goddang it that's what i get for looking at White Knight while writing this up and never double-checking), Joker's regular persona in the New 52 Batman comic line; Jerome or Jeremiah of the Gotham TV series, both of which are different aspects of Joker's personality through media, with a more modern gritty version in Jerome (think Heath Ledger's Joker) and a more modern take on Joker's sociopathy in Jeremiah; and last but not least Jack Napier, the first official name of Joker circa Tim Burton's Batman (1989), and the one most popularly used (BtAS and other comics throughout the years since use this name). "The player"'s choice doesn't impact the story or the way John acts, but it does give a surprise feature later. ;)

Matt Chaney - Aka, "Clayface", Matt has both new and old elements in his name alone. Matt, for Matt Hagen, the most well-known/used of the Clayface personas, and Chaney, for classic film actor Lon Chaney, AKA the man of a thousand faces. This Clayface is an aspiring actor who is psychologically dependent on Moddy to keep him handsome after a terrible car accident left his face marred. He uses his excellent makeup skills and acting to infiltrate the False Face Society, and double-plays them and the Court of Owls.

Root / MuSec - stand-ins for Vine and TikTok, respectively. "MuSec" is both a play on the word "musac" (the word for 'elevator music' and generic produced music you hear in fake stores and the like) and the mish-mash of the words "music" and "second", referencing the short length of the videos. "Root" was used in a prior story (At the Brink of Midnight), and acts as another "natural network" type name akin to Vine; though I do recognize "Vine" might have come along as part of the phrase "I heard it through the grape-vine". I have a feeling some Aussie fans might find the fake-Vine name funny...or just awkward.

Ch. 8: It Had to Be You

[chapter title] - A reference to the classic crooner song, "It Had to Be You"; specifically, the one that flows through the first scene is a cover done by Frank Sinatra, meant to align with other Bat-media's use of Sinatra where Joker and Batman are concerned. The Arkham games got his famous "Under My Skin", and another crooner's "Only You". Batjokes fans/content creators have also used "Strangers in the Night" for their relationship. I wanted to present one that would feel at-home in the TellTale universe regardless of what route you end up with, and what's more perfect than a song about finally discovering the love of your life? The song fits them to a tee, in my humble opinion…

Estella Art Gallery - Selina's art gallery, mentioned previously to have been the site of a Talon attack. "Estella" translates to "star", for the tarot card "The Star". When presented upright, it means hope and rebirth; this card can be presented after a disaster, such as an event like "The Tower". Normally, it can be interpreted as a card to show a phase where you have trust and faith in yourself and the universe. Selina was turning over a new leaf and enjoying her new life until the Owls found out who she was.

Mrs. Bollard - "bald-headed person"…this poor woman got her wig snatched as John stole Bruce from her on the dance floor. xD

"I knew today's horoscope was bullshit" - a nod to earlier, where Roman mentioned his horoscope when visiting Bruce; "a friend will help you out of a tight bind." Not that it was mentioned like that... still! I wonder what today's was? "You will be fortunate in your business endeavors"? Ha ha ha! But really, the horoscope is another nod to the theme of foretelling the future, as it's a popular method to try and see how your day, month, season, or year will be. Not that I know what sign Roman is… *thinking face*

[Achievement Unlocked: Batman Who Laughs] - John showing up in the Batman cowl was not only funny, but a direct nod to the Batman Who Laughs. The TT games had Batman comic titles often used as Achievements, so I figured I'd put in some…

[Achievement Unlocked: Batwoman Rises] - Iman helping the team out in the spare Batman suit is naturally a nod to Batwoman, and something I wanted to do for a while. ;D

Brighella - a Venetian mask taken from a play now used to depict a cunning and mischievous servant. Originally the mask was used to depict a greedy villain character.

The Two Gilded Cups - A restaurant in-story that references "The Two of Cups" tarot card, a card representing unity, partnership, and two becoming one. When upright, it's a card that can reference lovers or a new relationship; when reversed, it can represent broken communication, imbalance, or tension. As such, the couple who were seen at the restaurant - Sonja Townsend and her husband - are established lovers who work together for the Court of Owls, but those who were really there are Jackie Lant and Matt Chaney, who are in an imbalanced relationship. "Gilded" implies that "The Cups" are covered unnecessarily with gold - this is both in reference to Jackie and Matt's disguise of the Townsends and the truth about their relationship. Matt's lies are covering for his narcissism and selfishness, and ultimately is the only thing holding him and Jackie's relationship together.

Moddy - A fictional body modification clay-mud-putty that's a product of Janus Industries, this makeup is the favorite of Matt Chaney and the reason we can call him "Clayface". Like the traditional Clayface, Matt is in dire need to have his fix of the makeup, despite what it does to him - as John notes, it leaves a weird burn-like sensation, and since Matt has deep scar tissue he covers every minute of every day, it's made the skin damage worse.

"You’re really committed to drowning in that river" - A riff on the old joke "denial ("de Nile") isn't just a river in Egypt".

"Your words are honey in my ears, but my brain always turns it into bitter wax" - In Futurama, Fry has a silly line of “Sweet words! Sweet words that turn into bitter wax in my ears!”. It always had the potential to be a great metaphor if the words were twisted around! :) Plus, I mean, come on, this is a totally On Brand™ thing for John to say!

Ch. 9: Strength in Numbers

[chapter title] - Referencing the Strength card, for bravery, compassion, and inner strength; the title also doubles as a play on “different kinds of strengths”. Strength is the will the expose your truths. Strength is finding compassion to help others. Strength is staying true to your convictions in the face of opposition. We see all different kinds of strength on display here.

○ It can also a reference to the different partnerships going on, with Jackie joining the team (unofficially), Bruce and Tiffany going off to tackle the other half of our case, and John and Iman’s team-up. :)

"[John] could barely hear it over the tinny electronic whistling tune emitting from his own phone, telling him the person on the other end was a mystery" - this is referencing an old tumblr joke! Yes, John has the “It is a mystery” tone on his phone for unknown calls…complete with the little (:o) ghost icon.

CUP5K1NG [license plate] - Referring to the King of Cups card, a card portraying emotional balance and compassion. As it's not written as "K1NGCUP5", it implies it's a reversed card, signifying there's manipulation and instability at work. Even though Matt doesn't own the car this license plate belongs to, it's definitely tied to him since it's his getaway ride, and thus hints at what's to be revealed in his and Jackie's hotel room.

Aylin Street - the name "Alyin" translates into “moon halo; one that belongs to the moon”, thereby being a reference to the Moon card, representing mysteries and illusions. An investigation is afoot!

“Looks like I’ve got the red light, kiddo.” - In stage acts, the red light is to indicate to the performer their time on stage is up. Generally, it’s reserved for comedians who either overrun their time or are losing the audience. John's joking that he's been given the red light to exit stage left (but not persued by bear).

"What’s the ‘G’ for?” - Iman's 'Gotham Construction' jumpsuit has a G different from John's - it's shaped more like a gear. This is another Mystery Science Theater reference, in particular the logo for Gizmonic Institute, the company/labs that "employed" original host Joel and the mad scientist Dr. Forrester (and his assistant, TV's Frank), who started the experiments of forcing a guy and his robot friends to watch reeeally bad movies. The result was 12 (soon to be 13!) seasons of some guys making hilarious and very memorable jokes at said bad movies' expense. Does this reference mean that Bruce is just as huge a dork as I am, or does it mean that MST3K is real in this universe?! You make the call! ;D

○ …if you read 'What's the 'G' for?' in Invader Zim's voice, that's also valid. Especially if you followed it with “I dON’t know!” in GIR's. (There is no cringing here! We openly embrace our childhood silliness!)

MasterOfClayFace / #IdW3arThat [Matt Chaney's social media login] - naturally Matt is so far up on his high horse that he considers himself a master of clay work…and of course his nickname is ClayFace! His password is a joke in and out of canon, being a riff on Lemon Demon song: “A mask of my own face – I’d wear that” ~ Lemon Demon, “Mask of My Own Face” [Nature Tapes].

3055 [Jackie Lant's InstaPic followers] - According to research, the average Instagram following is about 1000, so Jackie is above average popularity. Anything above 10k is usually(?) celeb status. The number 3055 is meant to be broken up and turned partially into l33t, to make 3-O-S-S, or 3 of Sword[s]. The 3 of Swords card in the tarot signifies heartbreak and grief, stemming from betrayal, loneliness, and rejection. Jackie experienced all three of these heart-piercing swords during her return to Gotham, with Matt basically forcing her into isolation, betraying her trust, and rejecting her input and values in favor of his own; but she didn't really know it until the truth was exposed.

8055 [Matt Chaney's InstaPic followers] - similarly, Matt's follower count is meant to be 8-O-S-S, or the 8 of Swords card. It signifies self-victimization and imprisonment. In particular, the card shows a person restrained and trapped, but their helplessness is a show…they could choose to get out, if they got over themselves. Matt is incredibly selfish, so it comes as no surprise that he will play the victim card.

#OnlyInGotham - Another tumblr reference! I love the @hashtagonlyingotham blog! ( ^3^)

The Herold Rite's Theatre - A play on the word "Hierophant": Herold, like “herald (ruler/champion)” and Rites, like “sacred rites”. In the tarot, the Hierophant card represents following tradition and values, which for the Owls is their very core. This is basically a big ol' hint that Iman and John are heading into Owl territory, but also foreshadows the religious undercut of The Court and Reverend Sebastian Overfield's role.

"a familiar red-pyramid-and-floating-eyeball" [graffiti] - A reference to my icon! ;D You think I can't self-promo?

trading cards [found in theatre storage] - In the Theatre, John finds "old promotional trading cards for an old sci-fi film with big-brained aliens". This is a shameless and loving reference to Tim Burton's 1996 film Mars Attacks!, of which my AO3/tumblr icon and username is lifted - the movie was based on a series of Topps trading cards from the 1960's, and had it's own set of cards with movie scenes and behind-the-scenes pictures (and summaries of events) printed for the movie! They also used them as promotional tools, and if you get very lucky purchasing a copy of the old single-issue comic books from the 1995 Mars Attacks run from Image Comics, you can get a promo card.

https://bit.gt.gd/S3272019F?=RO - Originally "gd" stood for a derivative of Google Drive, but I can’t look at it and not see “get good”. The "S3272019F?" is meant to stand for "Started: March 27, 2019 Finished: ?". I can't believe I started uploading the story in March of 2019! Man, 2020 really messed with my sense of time…

Ch. 10: Tantara Bounces Off of Moonlit Walls

[chapter title] - "Tantara" is defined as "the blare of a trumpet or horn", as seen in the Judgement card, which stands for self-reflection as well as reckoning, and can indicate rebirth. There's of course another reference to the Moon card, for intuitions and the unconscious being. Then what are the "[Moonlit] Walls"? Well, they're the part of the only Major Arcana tarot card to represent a building - they are the walls of the Tower, symbolizing destruction and disaster. When all the cards' meanings are put all together, this alludes to a time of discovery among absolute disaster.

○ Expanded, the whole title is a reference to both forms of Judgement occurring – self-reflection and change are happening with Bruce and John as their mysteries and anxieties are finally put to rest: John is undergoing his final "rebirth", seeing his reality clearly in Arkham’s padded cell; Bruce seems to finally come to terms with working with Tiffany, as his fear of not being able to protect her comes through with her showing she's able take care of herself and prove she's a true asset to the team; and the Court of Owls finally comes to light, with Matt Chaney, the Talon Adam, and the Talon Sonja Townsend finally showing their real motivations.

○ We can also interpret the title as a reckoning coming for the Owls, who have long been obscuring the truth of their deeds and whose true motives have been murky. They've built their own tower of disaster with bricks of delusion, and judgement's horn is blaring a warning through their hallways…

"X-Sharp Manufacturing" - a reference to the 10 of Swords (hence the "sharp"), the tarot card for betrayal, backstabbing, and defeat. For Bruce, there is disaster here beyond his control that ends in a [temporary] defeat. For Roman Sionis, owner of the small factory as part of Janus Inc., he's unwittingly walked into his own betrayal.

"Merlin's Flower Arrangements" - Merlin, a famous wizard, is a reference to The Magician card, who defines “as above, so below”… And as John is taken to a secondary location, so is Bruce. :)

"La Luna Painting" - La Luna, aka The Moon; remember, shadows can play tricks on your eye, so something’s afoot here… Aka "HEY GUYS THIS TOTALLY ISN’T SUSPICIOUS OR ANYTHING NO SIR"

Yelsnia Theater - Yelsnia is…actually a name. But searching for it shows my true hint, as it's "Ainsley" backwards. "Ainsley" derives from Scottish words meaning “alone, solitary” or “hermitage”. This is a reference to the Hermit card – in this case, it's blatantly upside down, referring to loneliness, isolation, and a general disconnection with mankind. AKA, the path Matt is on.

"the looming pillar tower" [Arkham] - A blatant representation of The Tower. It stands for impending disaster and "an upheaval of a foundation of reality". Of course, this can be taken in two ways. 1) That John has overcome/avoided the disaster of another mental breakdown. 2) That John’s foundation of his delusions - that he’ll wake up in or get sent back to Arkham for his sickness - was wrong in a realistic sense, as he’s made serious progress in managing his emotional issues, and right in an unrealistic one, where the only way he could be sent back was through an outside force, i.e. the Owls.

10210475 [inmate number] - When separated for the numeric cipher, we get 10-21-4-7-5, or J-U-D-G-E

13051420 [inmate number] - When separated for the numeric cipher, we get 13-5-14-20, or M-E-N-T

○ When put together, the inmate numbers read "Judgement", the tarot card is shown here for John's choices and character arc on display throughout this chapter. When the card is reversed, it implies a lack of self-awareness, which we can also attribute to "the player's" choices for John if they make Bad Decisions. If you simply take the word "judgement" at face-value (without involving the tarot) it also works wonderfully, applying to John's entire situation as being a trial/judgement set by a higher force.

"The prince returned to the tower" dialogue [the prophetic cell mate] - Whether the person speaking is physical or not, John notes he can hear the scratching of pencil on paper within the cell, implying a person is writing their words down like a story… “The prince,” (John Doe, alias Joker, traditionally the ‘Clown Prince’ of Gotham) “having returned to the tower” (Arkham Asylum, the foundations of John's issues) “to reclaim his crown,” (assurance in himself and his reality; the completion of John's "self" with his final choices and becoming Vigilante!Joker for good) “trails after the fiend” (confronts the Talon Adam, alias Owl-man) “who's flying on wings of retribution” (core beliefs, perceived sense of justice). “The fiend’s wings are big, but the bones are brittle” (the Owl-man is imposing and persistent, but his physical "wings" are his weakness).

○ If you couple the Court of Owl's belief that G*d has written down the destinies of everyone in the world [as they are each born] with the knowledge that someone was writing down a short version of John's events at Arkham…hmmm.....

Room 11 [Iman's cell room] - The 11th card in the Major Arcana is "Justice". This can reference either 1) The just-desserts coming for Talon Adam/"The Owlman", or 2) The outcome of the player’s choice to take Iman with them or not.

11 minutes + 16 seconds [remaining time on bomb timer] - 11:16. 11/16, aka my birthday! :) I only wish I had finished Chapter 10 in time for the chapter's publishing year (2020), lol~

"Our Faith brings Perseverance, and Our Perseverance guides Justice, for Mercy to God." - The Court of Owls' beliefs circle around 3 principles bringing people closer to G*d: Faith, Perseverance, and Justice. Their belief hardens their persistence in their actions (as they are written and not guided by "Evil"), and their goals are ultimately to deliver justice where the human system failed and "Evil" prevailed in "escaping", hence the guiding of one principle to another. "Mercy to God" is what is granted by righting the injustices of the world; as G*d wrote your future down exactly, Evil can corrupt it, and once corrupted this does G*d a harmful injustice. The Court considers themselves close to G*d by "mercifully" stopping further corruption via eliminating "Evil" in all it's worldly forms…

Speaking of the 3 principles, our main Owls are meant to be "embodiments" of these in the story.

○ Talon Sonja Townsend represents Faith, driving home her belief in G*d's absolute destiny. She is corrupted by her own selfish goal of eliminating her son-in-law, but is also so by-the-book she does not think to look at the obvious double-standards of the Court, and doesn't think her underlying actions are guided by "Evil".

○ Talon Adam represents Perseverance, having fought Joker to unconsciousness, and was willing to blow up Arkham with himself still inside just to eliminate it; he is the most brainwashed, but the least corrupt in motivations, only striving to get what he feels is "justice". On the flip side of Adam is Talon Evan, who despite serious injury still appeared in Court and jumped at the chance to kill Joker and Batman, despite the Court's general appreciation of Batman; he is corrupt in personal selfishness, as he possesses no "real" faith in the Court's belief system and doesn't like others getting credit by stealing his targets.

§ ...it's also worth mentioning that the names for Adam and Evan are meant to be derivative of "Adam and Eve". In this way, it can also be seen as a parallel to The Lovers card, which one can attribute to Bruce and John. While Bruce + John are oddly harmonious and undeniably have a strong bond regardless of story paths, Adam + Evan are discontent rivals, with Adam "stealing" Evan's target and good graces with the Court, and Evan very pointedly beating up and kidnapping Batman (who Adam admires) to set up Batman's eventual Judgement.

○ Reverend Sebastian Overfield is the main representation of Justice, though he embodies all 3 principles. The Court’s belief is that their pursuit of justice – stopping Evil/chaos via deaths of criminals – overrides their own traditional sins. Because they are being helpful to G*d, granting Them mercy by righting the injustices of Evil and putting G*d’s Word back on the right path, they are in G*d’s favor. Therefore, as the leader of the Court and the one who organized everything by handing down "God's word", he is the carrier of Justice; without him, the Court would be nowhere and G*d would be shedding more tears over their ruined work…at least, in his mind. Naturally, he is the exact opposite of what justice should be. He is biased and unwavering in strict faith, as much a carrier of chaos as he doesn't want to be…

○ Of course, this is all also up to interpretation. One can interpret Adam as "justice", Evan as "perseverance", and Sebastian as the stand-in for "God", as he is the Court's ruler and is the sole person to hand down "the word of God".

"[…]if two people you normally count on for one reason or another" - Alfred made a subtle dig at John being Bruce's boy-toy. Ouch, Al'…

"[…]given it's your pet project, and all" - Even though Selina is talking about Arkham, she's making a dig at former-Arkham-resident John being Bruce's "pet", who in her eyes was Bruce's main reason for getting Arkham revitalized. :\ Man, everybody's picking on their relationship…

petrichor - The smell proceeding rain. Because it's not a climactic fight scene in Gotham city without rain.

Ch. 11: The Tolls of Justice

[chapter title] - Naturally referring to the Justice card of the tarot, this title is the same as the story title. Funnily enough, this is the 11th chapter, and the 11th card in the tarot deck. (I guarantee you I did not plan this bit… Funny how these things play out, ain't it?) The Justice card naturally stands for cause and effect, clarity, or truth; ultimately, it's a representation of karmic retribution, and what the Owls are in dire need of facing. The title overall is referring to both the [para]phrase "do not ask for whom the bell tolls, for it tolls for thee" (in the original context: a grievance over death for all out of love for community/mankind, not just one person) and the "toll" - as in cost or damage - of enacting justice. What Bruce has put himself through to become and keep being Batman, the enactor of vengeance for all those wronged in the city of Gotham, and what ultimately the Court of Owls has sacrificed - either wittingly or unwittingly - in the name of justice. It also extends to John, who for the sake of "justice" is routinely stuck in Arkham, in one way or another, and has never had a conceivably just or fair life at all - thus paying the unwilling toll opposing Bruce and the Owls. We can also extend it to Tiffany, who is making good on her work with Bruce to "pay her toll" for her own crime, with her toll being seen in a positive light as Robin, compared to what life sentence she might have been paying otherwise.

[the sword in the pulpit] - a symbolic reference to The Justice card, as the Justice card in the major arcana often depicts a sword, either alone or in someone's hand. This can also be interpreted as a reference to the Ace of Swords in the minor arcana, which is normally pointing upwards, referring to victory, truth, or ideas; when flipped, as it would be when looking at the initial depiction of the sword as a "cross", it stands for lies and confusion. The sword in the story itself is a symbol of justice, and uses snakes as the stand-in for the forces of Evil, which are destroyed by the owl making up the handle and supposedly wielding the blade.

"the skull peeking out of the knight’s helmet" [card in the box on Reverend's desk] - A very clear reference to the Death card, famous in the tarot deck. It signifies change, inevitable cycles, and new beginnings/directions. Depending on the reading, it can be interpreted as an actual death, but more often than not it’s merely showing of a life change. As this is the Reverend’s deck, it seems the last card he drew was Death… The viewer can interpret this as a reading from the Reverend into the Arkham plot, where Death is representing John’s own changes, the end of Talon Adam’s latest “cycle”, or the actual deaths that had occurred (no matter how many there are in the end). The viewer can also read this as the Reverend trying to find his own fate, the fate of Roman Sionis for his trial, or Batman’s fate. All of them are quite valid, but I feel the most accurate interpretation is that the Rev' was trying to read the future of the Court of Owls.

○ …as mentioned above, the Death card is the most overt reference to the Tarot. This way, if someone didn't piece together the weird chapter titles, the specified numbers and number-letter strings, and/or the odd names of people and places, they'd be able to double-back and see them as clues. They are put there purely as a storytelling clue for the audience. As you can tell, the tarot references increased with each chapter…almost like someone is trying to get your attention…

[the framed painting] - a reference to The High Priestess, aka card II of the tarot. This card is indicative of intuition and looking within, and can signal to mysteries at hand or a higher power at work. The pillars on the card are (hilariously enough) marked with a B and J, and are in black and white, respectively. They stand for Boaz (Strength) and Jachin (Establishment), and are meant to represent the duality of nature, good/evil, masculine/femine, etc. Naturally, both pillars are equal. In this depiction, it is both relating to “the player’s” own duality, with the ability to be flexible as Bruce and John and have both good and bad decisions play through the story, and as a strong hint to a higher power being present.

8-9-6-3 [candle puzzle] - It takes a bit to work out by sorting through the alphabetic values to each number, but it doesn’t make a complete word. On ye olde phone keypad, 1 is always null in value, so it’s always unlit in the candle sequence, and since there are 4 other numbers present we know it doesn’t count as part of the string. (If there were only 3, you could guess a year from your notes.) My idea for the “game” specs of this part would be that the key-code would be somewhat randomized, either using a specific year (if Tiffany and/or Iman are not present, this is *always* the case, as you have to utilize your background notes and the candles by yourself), a few translated letter combinations just for fun, or an occasional number-card type combo, as presented here. (In some lucky scenarios, “the player” doesn’t have to solve the candle puzzle, since Tiffany can figure out the year by herself and just call you over when she opens the door. You still have the option of looking around, though!) In this case, the values are another tarot-themed hint, using the card number first: 8-w-n-d, for the 8 of Wands, which alludes to quick actions. AKA “Get ready for quick-time events!!!”

"looking more like the king on the throne than a judge" - Meant to allude to The Emperor card, the ultimate royal symbol in the major arcana and always depicted with a king. Traditionally this symbolizes power, authority, control, etc., but when reversed it alludes to overbearingness, arrogance, and chaos. For the Owls, they would likely see themselves as the upright depictions, even when presented upside down before the person doing their reading… And here is no better example, with the Reverend Overfield taking place as the ultimate authority over the Court.

"like [Sonja] had a say in commanding the room" - Alluding to The Empress, in conjunction with Rev’s position, this card alludes to femininity, motherhood, nurturing, creativity, and/or abundance. When reversed, it stands for neglect, creative blocks, overbearing, and/or uncaring. Sonja is a good example of an overbearing mother, trying to make decisions for her child because she thinks she knows best - thus fits the reversed reading well.

[Courtroom layout] - How curious is it that I haven't referenced The Devil when we have so many opportunities? That's because I strove to show this card rather than reference it overtly. The Devil card depicts El Diablo in the upper middle, lording over the card, with two souls chained to him at the bottom. The classic depiction shows a female demon-like human on one side and a male demon-like human on the other. As such, Rev. Sebastian sits on the high bench as the judge, overlooking the courtroom, and Sonja and Evan sit beneath him, one embedded on each side of the lower bench, sitting before him rather than beside him. Naturally, The Devil card represents temptation, manipulation, and materialism (though not necessarily of physical things). There is nothing more suited to The Devil card than the Reverend Sebastian Overfield and the Talons.

Circe | Cindy Peterson - Circe was the original Black Mask's downfall, or at least serious decent into who would be Black Mask. In her origin, she was a model who seduced Roman and ended up being blamed for his poor business choices, as he completely revolved Janus Inc.'s new direction around her image, somewhat at her insistence. Roman seemed to love her, but grew vengeful when she dumped him. She was named Circe, after the witch who lured men to their doom. In this story, she plays a much less active role but ultimately still serves as Roman's downfall, though in a very different way. : she does seem to care about Roman, going so far as to hide him on her yacht, not rat him out for his overt gang activities, and even leave Gotham with him for good to run from Batman despite not being in a relationship with him for long. But Bruce is able to spin this to his advantage, openly lying that she was working for him undercover and twisting Roman's affection for her into paranoid doubt, which he eventually lashed out with and ended up being caught because of. Circe never got a ~proper~ name in the original canon, so I dubbed her Cindy. The name "Cindy" can be boiled down to “person from Kynthos” and since Circe is Greek… Well, it fits well enough!

"[…]waltzing into the danger-zone without his wingman" - It’s Top Gun's “You can be my wingman anytime”, but with ALL the homoerotic implications!

"the Degnah Club" - The Degnah Club can be inferred to be one of Roman Sionis’ clubs, or just one his False-Face Society visited on occasion, but the event that happened there is implied to have taken place before the start of the story. “Degnah” when written backwards is “hanged”, referencing the Hanged Man card. When upright, this card means sacrifice and selfless acts. When reversed, as very much implied here, it’s an unnecessary sacrifice. This is both a play on what Roman’s implying – which is likely a very violent event – being an “unnecessary sacrifice” as part of Matt Chaney’s greater scheme for the Court of Owls, and as an allusion to Matt’s fate, where his morals/good choices/old law-abiding life were thrown away for an inevitably failed pursuit.

"[Tiffany | Robin's] personal count of 13" - The 13th card in the tarot is Death, bringer of change and ender of cycles. It’s also a traditionally unlucky number. This number is the “body-count” of Tiffany’s run through the Court so far. Does it reference the end of the Court's latest cycle, or something else…?

Accompanying the Tarot, as mentioned earlier I also tied in other fortune-telling methods, with the counting of crows and reference to the zodiacal horoscope. I also threw in allusions to luck, with The Lucky Hotel and The Lot (in both name and the fact that it's a casino). This is all tied entirely around the concept of fate and being able to change it with the choices you have made or currently make as "the player". Luck itself has nothing to do with your choices and the fates you guide Bruce and John to, and it's not something "the player" can control - it's an illusion, with things seemingly lucky for our heroes having already been written in on purpose to lead to the next event. It's essentially a long, drawn-out joke.

Talons/Reverend's Owl Masks - I wanted the Talons to be set apart from the rest of the Court and have special owl faces. The Court's owl masks are as follows:

○ Talon Adam - Great Horned Owl; chosen for the owl's large size and hunting ability, as well as the protruding "horn" feathers mimicking Batman's cowl. This is the most common owl used in media. The "horns" are meant to clue the reader into the culprit early on. Adam's a Batman-fan, so he mimicked Bats' style.

○ Talon Sonja - Snowy Owl; chosen for the owl's fairly elegant feather pattern and Sonja's ~colder~ personality. Sonja had a masquerade one to show her "humane" side to prospective Owls, but always wears a full-faced mask for the rest of the Court.

○ Talon Evan - Barn Owl; chosen for it's ghost-like face and screeching call, and it's hunting skills. They sometimes are seen as bad omens. While Adam was a mysterious stalker, Evan is overtly dangerous upon appearance, in no due part to his temper.

○ Reverend Sebastian Overfield - Eastern Screech Owl; this owl is smaller than the other, but has similar "horn" feathers to the Great Horned, and a gray face. The "horns" are meant to be another a mirror to Batman, but can be considered another allusion to The Devil. It isn't the largest or flashiest owl of the bunch, but Sebastian has the most power of all the Court members.

[The "Justice" bell-toll] - traditionally, a church bell tolls to signify someone passing into death. In the Court/Church of Mercy's case, they use a bell rung at midnight to signify a complete "trial" and a carry-out of their own brand of "justice"…which also culminates in death. The "trial" shown in this chapter is a rarity, as the offenders are actually present to get a talking-to before their sentencing - generally, the Church will hold a mock-trial to decide the fates of the perpetrators…after some previous counseling with Talons and select older members. (Think of the Trial like a ceremonial conference for the majority of the time.)

Chapter 12: Ten Cheers to the World!

[title] - The act of cheering, aka toasting, is to raise a cup and drink towards someone or something in celebration or tribute. Here, it's referring to the tarot's Ten (X) of Cups, which is pretty much the best card you could pull in a reading - when upright, as it is here, it means celebration, fulfillment, and happiness! The World card is the final card in the Major Arcana, encapsulating completion, accomplishment, and harmony, all from inner and outer sources. It might seem redundant at first, but the Cups suite in the Minor Arcana is all in regards to emotions, relationships, and love; in comparison, the Major Arcana represents a journey from innocence and ignorance to wisdom and completion. So you have an emotional celebration with fulfilling relationships, and the story's path marked as complete in both a literal and figurative sense.

"An accident at Ace Chemicals" [Iman & John's convo] - Referencing the majority of Joker origins, wherein pre-Joker fell into the vat of chemicals at Ace Chemicals and survived, leading to a psychotic breakdown due to his changed appearance and/or the circumstances around to what led him to Ace Chemicals in the first place.

"the string of deaths in the Velestra mafia" [Iman & John's convo] - a ref to the former mafia/main antagonists in Batman: Mask of the Phantom that kept getting killed off one by one by the Phantom. Whether The Phantom exists in this world…we'll have to wait and see, I guess!

"an unrecoverable ‘data loss’ at the Agency" [Iman & John's convo] - not a reference to canon, but my own theory on a potential background for John being a former Agent…(see further below)

"Et tu, Peeps?" - a riff on "Et tu, Brute?", Julius Ceasar's last words as he was betrayed and stabbed to death.

"Maybe I was someone in the wrong place at the wrong time" / "someone at the right place at the wrong time" [John monologue] - Another reference to the most popular background choice, the Ace Chemical origin story, and it’s variations. Though probably lacking Batsy’s involvement, considering the timeframe…

"Maybe I was some experiment gone wrong" [John monologue] - A reference to a different author's Season 3 replacement fanfic, where John ended up being a genetically modified human/test tube baby. Unfortunately the work got deleted from Ao3??? And my bookmark is gone, so I can't name the fic… But I still remember you, Unknown Author!!! It was a fun story and I've never forgotten that twist!!!! \( >o< )/

"Maybe I was even an Agent, like you" [John monologue] - My own little theory as to why the Agency was so keen on getting him for the Suicide Squad – and why he was considered a dangerous part of the gang despite not doing too much of interest in Season 1 (even if you consider the theory that he was helping Lady Arkham get her chemicals/drugs) – was that he was part of the Agency somehow. Either an agent who screwed up on the job, a rogue agent that escaped death via Agency trap…or maybe a guy who knew too much! But it's a fun, fresh idea to bring to Joker's multi-choice past, right? (( ;w;)) <(please say yes)

hippocampus - The region(s) of the brain that primarily deals with memory.

[the photo] - I wanted to leave it up to the reader/"player" to decide what kind of pre-Arkham past the TellTale!Joker has… So whether you think the picture Iman has is a "real" photo of him or not is entirely up to you.

"[…]'you're the moon to my sun'" [John, 'paraphrasing' Bruce] - In Tarot terms, this is a reference to the Sun card, representing joy, success, and masculinity, as well as another reference to the Moon card. One can also interpret the Sun card as "success in overcoming your obstacles or fears". As the Moon card can represent inner fears and femininity, it's a fitting opposite for interpreting this romantic line. While Bruce doesn't exactly embody the "positivity" and "joy" that this card represents, he brings that feeling into John's life, and Bruce is more traditionally masculine in contrast to John. This is also an overt use of the phrase "[they're] the moon to their sun" - a romantic notion that one person, though the opposite to the other, is completely complementary, like a One True Love. TeamFourStar's playthrough of TellTale Batman: The Enemy Within had not one, but TWO mentions of the "moon to [their] sun" line, the second of which was referring to John and Bruce. This one's for you, fellas!!! ( ^3^)

○ Funnily enough, The Moon is a very broadly interpreted card. Sometimes it's not a good card to have because deception, manipulation, illusion, and mystery/confusion are all potentially at work in your life. Sometimes it's an excellent card, because it tells you examine your feelings to resolve a problem, or tells you that you aren't seeing the whole picture. The reversed of the card is often attributed to avoidance of one's problems and further confusion, but also clarity, truth, and the full view of what's going on. If John is the embodiment of The Moon in the upright position, then I say Bruce is that of the Reversed Moon…

"[…] two lovers against the world" - Another classic romantic phrase that can be turned into a Tarot reference. The original phrase is meaning two romantic partners are pitted against "the world"/external forces that threaten to tear them apart, but they are committed to each other regardless. You can't really pit cards against each other in a reading, but you can read Past-Present-Future. In which case, in story terms, The Fool is always the Past, The Lovers is the Present here, and The World is the Future. As mentioned earlier, The World represents harmony and completion - if reversed, it would mean incompletion and chaos. The Lovers card is representing a strong union being forged between two people, very often romantic in terms of the Tarot. The meaning is usually attributed to decisions in a relationship being made (whether to start a new one, or to deepen the one you have), but it can also represent people outright, as well as an indication that a new partnership/relationship is on the way. When reversed, Lovers represents disharmony, imbalance, or a loss of relationship. In our story, of course, our two lovers are representing the upright reading of the card in the Present, showing as a strong couple. As it's "against", it implies that The World is something that will be a challenge, so it's likely Reversed. Which is a pretty good representation of Gotham in general, isn't it? lol~

○ The Lovers can also be seen symbolically in chapters 8 and 9, when Bruce and John are laying opposite each other and linking pinkies/holding hands at the hotel. :)

○ John uses the romantic line regardless of whether he's a vigilante or not! If you didn't get the Best Ending, aka our Sleepover Ending, Bruce would wind up back in the parlor with John as usual, and once the rest of the fam are gone (if they were there at all), he uses it to describe themselves. In the villain route, Bruce and John converse in the Batmobile on the way back to Arkham, and John uses the line there, too. ;3c

○ Naturally, you don't really get this complete scene if "your" Bruce is with Selina in the vigilante route.

Ending Type - …it's not a tarot reference or anything specific. I just wanted to let you know that you can ONLY get the Sleepover Ending if you have Tiffany and John in Bruce's party on good terms with each other AND with Bruce.

○ You can drive Tiffy away from Bruce by saying she shouldn't be with them at the Court Battle, but also by generally not believing in her/being mean and giving a neutral reaction to her staying during Battle; she won't go back to the cave with Bruce, so you don't get a chance to speak to her directly afterwards as either character. (John can still have his conversation with her via text, and they can still end on the same terms.)

○ If you don't have vigilante!John, there's no one else to help lift the things, so Tiffy's idea is never brought up.

○ John is always simping desperate for Bruce's attention, so even if you don't treat him as well in a platonic relationship, he'll still be there for this Ending type. ;_;

○ If you have a Romanced!Selina in your party, Selina will join you in both Court Battle and the Ending as seen in this story. It'll either cause her to take Iman's place (if she is not present) or to have extra spot suddenly appear above the rest of the group. Like Tiffy, she overheats and needs more space too cool off.

§ You can also talk to her as John, and sort of makeup/say your part of the team now. (But John will still be somewhat jealous of the attention she gets.)

§ John doesn't get the emotional hug with Bruce if Selina is around - especially since she doesn't temporarily leave with Tiffany and Iman - but the conversation is almost the same.

§ Naturally you can talk to her as Bruce, too. I don't think on her options too much, but they'll likely talk about change and what it means to have this "job" and internalizing too much of their emotions/themselves.

§ If you and Selina are only friends, Selina can join you in the Court Battle, but will text you instead of sticking around.

1:06 A.M & [Clock time on Belltower in Chapter 11] - Bruce's sense of time is off, which is why he's surprised it's after 1AM and not closer to 2AM. (Can't blame him, he was unconscious for a while and a whole bunch of stuff happened.) I figured if Bruce broke out of his kidnapping ropes at 10PM sharp, and drove all the way to the GCPD, that's about 20-30 minutes in his supercharged car, if not a little less, plus with 5 minutes to escape proper. If we think GCPD is sort of a halfway point to Old Gotham/The Coventry district, it's another 15 minutes to there. So he'd arrive at the Church of Mercy before 11PM, and wait John for around another 10-15 minutes, including with all the investigating inside. The "trial" scene probably took another 10 minutes until Batman crashed it, and fight scenes seem long because of all the action going on, but by the time Bruce and co' leave, it's not 12AM yet. The bell-tower in the Church of Mercy is actually off by about 20 minutes… And what do you know, card XX (20) of the tarot's Major Arcana is Judgement, alluding to karma at work! It can also be attributed to a life change. ;D

"11:43:20PM" - this wasn't deliberately meant to allude to anything. It took the batfam about 2 minutes from the last toll to leave the church. Bells' tolling speed is varying between clocks and towers, but you can estimate about 30-45 seconds for a full twelve. If it rang at 11:40 exactly, then…ugh, this is sounding like math homework.

Epilogue:

[Still a WIP, so will be updated after it's uploaded! Shouldn't have much, though! Saay, isn't there a Major Arcana card missing? (9v9) I wonder what that iiiiis~]

So that was [just about] all of them! I had a lot of fun weaving them throughout the story this time, especially with the story's themes! AtBoM didn't have as nearly as many, so they weren't really worth mentioning before.

I hope this was helpful to those of you who were interested in diving beneath the surface of BtTTS: TToJ~!

#ttoj #ttoj reference guide #telltale batman #batman the telltale series #tarot cards #I made it a goal to use all the Major Arcana!#fortune-telling #it took me a month to compile this whole guide #I had notes scattered between my Word doc and google doc #hopefully this wasn't too hard to read #even if no one got any of these i'm satisfied!#they were really fun to write!!#edit: corrected Eric's last name (my bad)

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davids-cartoon-corkboard · 5 years ago

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Do you think that if Shredder!Raph will occur in rottmnt, the aftermath might result in Raph inheriting some of Shredder’s rage even after saved? Maybe that is how the crew is going to implement Raph’s trademark temper throughout previous generations and maybe even make him have to step down due to it, making Leo the new leader?

Short answer: “Inheriting the rage of a centuries-old demon" is a dope-ass idea, so if you’re a writer I would definitely encourage you to use that in your own stuff. But I think that if Raph’s temper worsens throughout the show, it should be because of his own character development and not a magical effect. However, a Shredder!Raph scenario could contribute to said worsening temper by inflicting emotional/psychological damage instead. :)

Long answer ahoy!

Looking at “Many Unhappy Returns” from the Shredder’s perspective makes it very clear why he does what he does. Like, he’s been dead for five hundred years, and then something went wrong with his resurrection. He’s waking up with no idea where he is or what’s going on and oh shit those guys are pointing weapons at him, that’s a threat!

Note that he doesn’t even bolt for them immediately, he does a warning stomp and screech (back off!) before starting to approach.

Those other guys are yelling, that’s also a threat,

and they’re closer so he’s gonna attack them first, actually. (None of the Foot wind up even comically injured, suggesting that flailing them around was an intimidation tactic rather than genuine Murderous Intent.)

And then the first group attacks, so of course he’s going to retaliate.

And then suddenly he’s somewhere else, with other threats (the animatronics), and then the first group that attacked him is back, so he’s gonna fight them again.

And these jerks just keep following him? He’s not going to ignore that. And WOW that’s a lot of bright lights and loud noises, which are also threats, what the fuck is going on?!

And then this tiny human girl chucks a giant metal box at him, holy SHIT?! Sure, the Shredder is a dangerous antagonist, but at this point I wouldn’t call him a “bad guy”, he’s literally just responding to what’s happening to him.

In summary, the Shredder was stressed tf out because he didn’t know where he was or what was happening, he retaliated against perceived threats, and quite possibly wouldn’t have attacked the turtles in the first place if they hadn’t just rushed in without understanding the situation.

Gosh, doesn’t that sound familiar?

So yeah, I’m waiting for Rise to give us that good good Shredder!Raph content.

As for the possibility of Leo taking over afterwards... no, but also yes, sort of? On the one hand, we know that Leo does have leadership capabilities, and it would be a waste for the narrative to not explore that. On the other hand, Rise has broken from the status quo in many ways, and it would also be a waste for the show to do a complete 180 and return to Leo Being The Leader™.

Consider how the “leader” role has influenced Leo in past iterations: his perfectionism wears on him and his brothers, any failure tanks his self-esteem, he feels isolated from the rest due to taking on such a large share of responsibility, being an authority figure grinds everyone’s gears, etc. It’s just bad for his mental health.

No doubt all this responsibility will also wear on Rise!Raph as the story progresses and the stakes get higher. It will be bad for him as well. But if Raph steps down, Leo will once again suffer from the weight of this role. So if neither option is quite correct, if neither brother can shoulder the burden of leadership alone, then the solution is just... for neither of them to shoulder the burden of leadership alone. Sure, Raph will probably remain leader in title and in spirit, but Leo taking on a sort of “deputy” role makes sense from a strategic standpoint, and would be good for his character development.

Here’s how I think it could go down:

The Shredder!Raph scenario will be different from the Shredder!Draxum scenario. The Shredder was starved for mystic energy the first time around, so he immediately chewed Draxum up and spit him out. But Raph could be compared more to a battery than a meal; it will take a while for the Shredder to drain him. And at this point the Shredder could be back in “evil samurai” mode, and thus will understand the value of holding Raph hostage.

Y’all who have followed my blog for a bit know about my “Raph is a system” theory; that when he was little, he got separated from his family and pursued by some cryptid hunter. This trauma formed Savage Raph, who is able to handle “being lost/alone/threatened” when Host Raph cannot. “Pizza Puffs” didn’t give us a lot of info about who I’m calling “Red Raph”, but he made his presence known when Host Raph was sort of... "emotionally alone”? In that his brothers were dying a little bit and too stoned to care.

So if Raph is trapped inside a living cage, scared and helpless and hurt and exhausted, his family unable to help him... he’s not going to be able to handle it.

Or, rather, Host Raph isn’t going to be able to handle it.

These two can, though.

I’m imagining a scene in the mindscape where the Shredder says something like “Your pathetic family cannot bear to strike you down, and so there is nothing that can stand in m- wait, why are there three of you OW FUCK-” Red and Savage will mentally kick his ass long enough for the other turtles to rip off a chunk of the armor so Leo can portal it into another dimension or something. Shredder gets K.O.’d since he’s not whole anymore, and the battle is won.

Since the armor didn’t drain Raph as severely as it did Draxum, he won’t become as weak as Draxum did. However, it will still take him some time to recover. Raph trusts Leo in serious moments as of “Many Unhappy Returns”, and he already took charge when Raph wasn’t available back in “Man vs. Sewer”. So Raph will be like, “Hey Leo, can you handle the Mad Dogs for a bit? Just long enough for me to get back on my feet.” And Leo will be like, “Sure bro, I’ve got this.”

He does not, in fact, “got this”. Leo’s ego has caused trouble before (”Shell in a Cell”, “Minotaur Maze”), and being in charge will no doubt go to his head. This has the potential for both comedy and seriousness, leading to wacky mishaps and genuine danger. Being the leader is hard work and it’s not always fun, but someone has to do it and Leo will have to put the others before himself for it to get done. Once Leo realizes this, he could bond with Raph by asking for his advice on leadership. Sometimes Leo will follow the advice and sometimes he won’t, sometimes that will work out and sometimes it won’t, laying the foundation for the idea that there are situations where it will be better for one or the other to lead, rather than having one lead all the time. But that will only happen for a few episodes, because Raph will heal quickly and he’ll be the leader again and everything will be fine!

Everything will not, in fact, be fine. Raph is the strongest in the family, the tank, the one who can take a hit so the smaller ones don’t have to... the idea of being hurt, of being weak, scares him because his family is also in danger if he’s unwell. So I don’t think he’ll acknowledge to anyone, not even himself, that getting possessed hurt him emotionally as well as physically. And when a wound isn’t acknowledged, it doesn’t get tended to, and when a wound isn’t tended to, it gets worse.

That he’s a system will add another layer of complexity to this. The Shredder!Raph incident would make all the alters aware of each other via mindscape shenanigans, but it would also leave them with the fear of not being in control, so I think they’ll come in conflict with each other for a bit. They’ll argue with themselves, switch, and lose time more often, enough that it impedes their ability to function and the other characters start to notice something is wrong.

Host Raph will convince himself that Everything Is Fine and try to get things “back to normal”, which probably means he’s just straight-up not going to acknowledge that he's a system. He’ll rationalize that he’s always “gotten weird” from time to time, so it’s nothing to think too hard about... right?

Savage Raph will be on high alert because they just survived a near-death (a near soul-destroying) experience. He’ll probably take the front and go overboard fighting some villains that Host Raph could have ordinarily fought on his own. It might also take a while to convince Savage Raph that these “sewer monsters” who keep following him around really don’t mean him any harm.

Red Raph will get snappy (pardon the pun) about the more social aspect of “not being in control”; that Host Raph asked Leo to be in charge and then Leo started being an egotistical dumbass. And when Leo does make the right decisions, Donnie and Mikey might side with him over Raph, and that will also grind his gears.

Mix all that together and you have a recipe for a capital b Breakdown.

So yeah, I can definitely see how the Shredder!Raph incident and its aftermath would worsen all three of their tempers, trauma will fuck up your emotions real bad. Perhaps Host Raph loses faith in himself and tries to step down and get Leo to replace him as leader... only for Leo to be like “Bro I cannot do this full time I will one hundred percent have my own Breakdown if that happens.”

The life lessons here are that Leo learns to offer support by sometimes taking the leader role; not to benefit his own ego, but because he wants to help Raph. And Raph learns to accept support by letting Leo be in charge sometimes; not because he’s weak or incapable, but because he can’t always be a Staunch Immovable Rock and he needs to let himself rest by trusting Leo.

And then the Raphs can work on communicating, cooperating, letting their allies know about them, digging into their trauma, etc. now that they have some breathing room.

(Do you think the Hidden City has therapists? Steven Universe and Mao Mao both have therapists can we BLEASE get one for Raph.)

#Anonymous #rottmnt #rottmnt theory #rottmnt raph #rottmnt leo #rottmnt shredder #shredder!raph #savage raph #red raph #there's like 1800 words here holy shit #if anyone wants to do fic for this u have my blessing to go hog wild #the 'raph is a system' theory

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theroyalmile · 4 years ago

Text

Started from the Bottom Now We’re... A Little Bit Above the Bottom

Note to Readers: I wrote this on Sunday morning at 5:30a.m. It captures one of the lowest moments I have felt throughout this whole experience and though I am feeling much better right now, and very much so looking forward to my surgery on Tuesday, I think it’s important, when being open about this whole thing, to capture this snapshot of emotion. I will warn you ahead of time that this is not a “fun” read. But it is honest. And I truly believe the sentiment at the end- this was very close to rock bottom for me, so I’m looking forward to the journey back up, beginning with my surgery in 5 days.

*******

A couple of weeks ago, I reached a milestone I never thought would happen. I finished chemo. This milestone felt triumphant. It felt miraculous. I had successfully leaped this giant hurdle, with more ease than I ever expected. Lucky was the word I kept using. Lucky I had never gotten sick. Lucky neuropathy had never taken hold. Lucky my lifted fingernails had never fallen off. Lucky my hair was starting to grow back. Lucky that while still terrible, chemo had been so much easier for me than I knew it was for most.

I rode this high into a wonderful celebratory night with some close friends. What was meant to be a large BBQ outside was hindered by a rainstorm, relegated to the indoors, and made much smaller, and yet, I was still deliriously happy. I held onto that delirium from one thing to the next- a laughter filled game night at my parents' new home, a lovely, relaxing few days with my partner’s family, to a productive, incredibly normal feeling day back in the office.

As I prepared to continue riding that high into my long awaited “girls weekend” with some friends who had all banded together to come in from out of town, I received a call. It was the plastic surgery department calling to confirm my surgery date for June 22- a date that was three weeks earlier than the date I had in my calendar and that I had spent the last two months making plans around. I was confused, annoyed, and a little scared. What had happened, I wondered? I contacted my social worker via email to ask her, nicely of course, what the ever-loving f*** was happening. She told me she would get to the bottom of it immediately. I did my best to enter into my girls weekend undeterred from having the most fun ever, as was planned.

The next day, I received a call from my surgeon who walked me through why the date had changed, and the pros and cons to changing the date. I won’t get into the details but the most important point is, she said it was ultimately my decision on which date to keep, but from a cancer care perspective the earlier date was optimal. This is not to say the later date would have been dangerous, just not-optimal, whatever that means. I asked if I could have the weekend to think about it and she said of course. I called my partner to discuss, and my mother. I made a little pro/con list in my phone that I would let ruminate for the weekend. And then I did my best, mostly successfully, to put this all in the back of my mind until Monday so I could enjoy my girls weekend as planned.

Ultimately, after what ended up being a wonderful, mostly cancer-thought-free weekend, with the help of my family, partner, social worker, and little pro/con list, I decided to move my surgery date up to the earlier date. After all, my number one goal here is to be cancer-free. Why would I not do everything I could to best ensure that result. Somewhat begrudgingly, but confidently, I altered all my plans. I informed work of my new surgery date which they wholeheartedly accepted and supported. I cancelled my “staycation” and other various plans I had made to enjoy my last free weekends before my procedure. I went through the process of reworking my entire brain to accept that this was all happening much, much sooner than I had planned. I found a way to become re-excited by my surgery and what it meant. No more cancer in my body. The light at the end of the tunnel was back and closer than ever.

One particularly hard pill to swallow with this closer date was that with my post-chemo energy climbing, I had been excited to start working out again, and start eating healthy again. I had hoped in those 30+ days I might even lose some of the 5 pounds or so of the chemo weight I had gained. I wanted to go into this surgery feeling powerful, strong, positive and healthy. With this newer surgery date I felt that this goal was still possible, I just had less time to accomplish it. That was fine, I thought, after all, it wasn’t about the weight loss as much as it was about feeling good. And I was determined to do my damndest to feel as good as possible with the time I had.

I started working out every day. Nothing crazy or overzealous I thought. Some brief cardio, 30-45 minutes on the stationary bike. Light weight lifts. Beginner level stuff. Enough to work up a minor sweat and push me a little. But not to push too hard. With the support of my partner I started eating well (emphasis well, not less). More salads, more fruit, more water. Less junk food. I was meditating daily, which is something I have never done before. I was feeling good, feeling empowered. I had even lost 2 pounds, which was, frankly, just a bonus.

I went into my plastic surgery pre-op appointment excited and nervous. I was going to be able to ask all of my questions about the surgery, which I had written out ahead of time. I was going to learn about how to care for my recovering body. This appointment made this all seem so real. More so than it had before. But I was happy about that. I was shocked by how excited I was by the idea of a bilateral mastectomy. Of course, still very scared, but excited, which made the fear more palatable.

I don’t like to say things that are overly flattering of myself, but I like to think through this whole process I have remained fairly calm, undeterred, and strangely positive. Not in a Pollyanna positive kind of way (as my mother would say), just optimistic about the outcome of all of this. Optimism is not my natural mode, so I have worked very hard to do this. That is not to say it hasn’t been hard. Or course it has. This has been the hardest thing I have ever done. I have cried more these last few months than probably the last few years combined. But I have remained, for the most part, positive.

This was how I felt walking into my plastics pre-op appointment. My mother was with me for support. She had been there with me for my first consult with plastics and oh boy, had I needed her. When the sheer weight of everything had hit me once we started going over breast reconstruction, I had completely lost it. She was there to support me and help lift up my voice when I could hardly speak. I had not anticipated that would be necessary this time, but she was there as a precaution, and as an extra set of ears. But it turned out I needed her more than ever. When my plastic surgeon out of the blue suggested I consider having my mastectomy without reconstruction, take a few months to recover and lose 20 or so pounds, and then come back for my reconstruction later, I lost it completely. We had already been over this two months prior. We had addressed concerns about my weight and determined the surgery as is, mastectomy and reconstruction all in one, was doable, and the right procedure for me. My weight had not changed since this conversation in March. Nothing had. So what the hell. And when I say “lost it” I mean full, heaving, sobbing, hard to breathe tears. I couldn’t think straight. I wanted to vomit. I wanted to throw something. I wanted to scream. We were two weeks out from surgery and here was this curveball that could change everything. All my questions I had pre-prepared, all of my excitement went right out the window. I remember my mother saying to the nurses, with a thinly veiled anger, “She has been very stoic through all of this, but I think today you guys broke her.”

The thing here I must make you all understand is that I am having a surgery I would never in a million years have elected to have if I did not have breast cancer and a genetic condition that gave me a 40% chance of getting breast cancer again. I am having both my breasts removed, and reconstructed with tissue from my stomach. Does the idea of that make you uncomfortable? Yeah, me too. I don’t want this. I will never wanted this. But I have accepted that this surgery is my best shot at having a normal life where I do not have to wake up every day in fear of my cancer returning. And this particular surgery, a mastectomy and reconstruction all in one, with my own tissue, while much more intense in terms of both surgical time and recovery time, is the procedure that made this “choice” that wasn’t really a choice the most palatable. I am not sugar coating to say I was excited. But when the option of doing the procedure the way I wanted was possibly being taken away from me it was all too much to handle. My mother was right. It broke me.

We left that appointment with more questions than answers. Both of us dejected, angry, bordering on more tears to accompany the ones we had already shed. After an emergency meeting with my social worker and much discussion (and more tears), and an analysis of the risks and benefits in front of me, I was done sacrificing my choices. I had already sacrificed too much to this disease and I was done. I was determined to stick with the procedure I had been planning for since March.

So did this whole event take the wind a bit out of my sails? Yes. It ruined everything just a little bit for me, and stands to make all of this a little bit harder. All the same, after making my decision, I was determined to push forward, I kept up the exercising, I had two more very productive days at the office and felt confident about my medical leave from my job. Was I feeling as strong as before? Not quite. But I was feeling better. And the weekend was approaching fast, which I was looking forward to.

I had plans for the weekend. Nothing monumental. Saturday, my partner and I had planned to go to the driving range at a local golf course. This was a favorite activity of mine when I was younger. My uncle Billy, who died in 2019, used to take me to the driving range when I was a pre-teen/teen. I was excited to give it a shot again and see if I still had it, or at least had my 14-year-old version of “it”. Saturday also happened to be the two year anniversary of my Uncle Billy’s death, which I had forgotten, but I wonder if subconsciously I remembered, as the coincidence is a bit too odd to ignore. Then Sunday, we planned to go to the beach. We were going to get there early, 8am for low tide, because one of our favorite activities is to explore tide pools. This may seem juvenile, but the beach, and the tide pools bring me immense joy. Though I only had two weekends before my surgery and a month long recovery, I was determined to make the most of them.

However, my weekend plans, like my pre-surgery excitement, were perhaps too good to be true. Saturday morning, before my day had really even started, I was bending over to put something in the compost when my back gave out and a sharp pain hit me in the center of my lower back. I was stuck there crouched down, wondering if I could even stand. With much pain I did stand, and suddenly realized I was in trouble. I called out to Caleb with a bit of urgency, and when he came over, I said “Something happened to my back, I don’t think I can walk.” And I truly didn’t think I could. He slowly walked me over to the couch where I was able to lay down, but not without excruciating pain. And when I say excruciating, I mean it. On the pain scale- the one that doctors always have with the little frowny faces I would say it was a 7. Maybe a 6. Maybe an 8. Whatever it was, I can way with utmost certainty, I have never, in my entire life, felt this much pain. Whenever I sat up- pain. Whenever I stood- pain. Whenever I took a step- pain. This was make-you-want-to-vomit pain. This was need-help-going-to-the-bathroom pain. This was I-am-afraid-to-move-even-a-little pain. I have hurt my back before. But never, ever like this.

With my upcoming surgery I am restricted from taking blood thinning medication - so no ibuprofen, no aspirin. I am also restricted from taking CBD, THC, and any marijuana products. I tried acetaminophen. I tried wet heat. I tried dry heat. I tried ice. None of it seemed to really help. We considered going to the emergency room but I wasn’t sure I could make it down our front stairs, let alone into a car. Plus the idea of one single unnecessary second in a hospital, especially with a long hospital stay looming, was unpalatable. Finally, I called Dana Farber and spoke with the on-call physician, who, after confirming it was safe for me pre-surgery, prescribed me muscle relaxers.

Of course, a driving range trip was out of the question. I cancelled dinner plans with a friend as well. I felt little to no relief until 11pm, which allowed me to make it up the stairs and into bed. The relief gave me a false sense of hope, thinking perhaps, by tomorrow, I will be better. Maybe even better enough to go to the beach. My one beach trip of the summer. That’s all I wanted. I knew tidepools were out of the question. But maybe I could at least put my feet in the sand, and smell the ocean water. That seemed good enough.

As soon as I awoke on Sunday at 5:30am to take my next dose of pain meds and muscle relaxers I knew it would never happen. I had reverted back to my earlier pain levels. I struggled to get out of bed, and required being literally held up to go to the bathroom. And I never went back to sleep after that. I just sat there, taking in everything that was happening to me at that moment. Taking stock of the ways my body felt like it was was failing me. Listing the things I had lost. Obsessing on the disappointments.

I can’t quite find the words to express how it feels to be sitting awake, propped up against your headboard like a ragdoll at 5:30 am on a Sunday, crying, but trying to be silent so as not to wake your partner, who, after tirelessly caring for you, helping you walk to the bathroom all night, has finally been able to fall asleep. Looking outside at the beautiful, cloudless blue sky, feeling the warmth of a perfect beach day seep in through the window screens, knowing I likely won’t even make it out of the house let alone to the beach.

Rage. White-hot rage is what I felt. Not at anyone or anything. I don’t even have a god to be mad at. Just life. I was mad at life. I was furious that my one weekend to enjoy, relax, and take my mind off of everything, even if just for a moment, had been taken from me, not even by cancer, but by some freak occurrence.

In this moment, sitting there, silent tears streaming down my face, chest heaving with the sheer weight of just everything I realized there was one thing I could do- my one sedentary, legless outlet. I could write.

So gingerly, I pushed myself out of bed and shuffled my way over to my work desk. With the support of the desk I lowered myself onto the floor to reach for my personal laptop. I opened it. Dead. I located the power cord under my desk, unplugged. After several painful moments of reaching, I determined I wasn’t going to be able to reach the outlet. No fear, I had a backup plan. I reached up and grabbed my work laptop. Power cord already plugged in- bingo. I opened it, made my way into Google Docs and started typing. I got five words in before a blue screen with a frowny face appeared. Well, thank goodness I used Google Docs. I rebooted and logged back in. Another sentence. Blue screen. Frowny face. I rebooted again. And again. And again. At least six or seven times of this, all while that pit of rage stuck somewhere between my throat and my belly swirled painfully. All I wanted in this one moment was an outlet- a chance to be able to write about my pain. And I was even being denied that.

As I rebooted, and rebooted, and rebooted, for the first time in a long time another word popped into my head which I had vowed to never use.

Unfair.

I hate the word unfair. And I hate it in the context of my cancer diagnosis. I was recently explaining this to a friend of mine. It’s not that I so much hate other people using the word unfair to describe what is happening to me, or to describe something happening outside of my diagnosis, but I refuse to use it for myself. I feel this way because I believe nothing about my life is unfair. Yeah, I got cancer. Yeah, I got cancer at 28. But why not me? So many people get cancer, what the hell makes me so special that it shouldn’t be me. What about the little kids I see at Dana Farber any time I’m there, running around with their little chubby bald heads. I got to be 28 before I had cancer- they didn’t. That’s unfair to them. But not to me. The word unfair scares me- because I truly believe once I begin to think that about my situation, about myself, about my current circumstances, I won’t be able to come back from that. I won’t be able to escape unfair.

Finally, as if sensing I was about to throw it against the wall, my laptop came to life and stayed that way. And I wrote all of this, starting with “unfair” and working backwards. Working through all of the things that have happened in the last two weeks to bring me to that word.

I have concluded that, still, none of this is unfair. Am I pissed off? Yeah. Exhausted? Absolutely. Angry. Sad. Scared. Humiliated. Humbled. Overwhelmed. Still in pain, as I sit here? Unfortunately, yes. But I feel oddly… better. Actually, I’m kind of smiling now as I write this and I truly have no idea why. Maybe at the absurdity of it all? Maybe because I am feeling so many things right now, why not add amused.

I’ve mentioned this before but dark humor is in my blood. It came with the DNA that gave me the BRCA1 mutation that gave me breast cancer- ironic, huh? Or full circle- I can’t tell which. I am too tired and delirious from pain and lack of sleep to know the difference. That DNA also gave me my beautiful hair- which is making it’s slow comeback. My sense of humor. My taste in music. My sense of travel and adventure. My love for words. It is half of who I am, and therefore a part of me I would never give up or change, because without it I would be someone else. And most importantly, it gave me this gift, this outlet of writing, which has somehow, in the last two hours, healed quite a lot of pain.

That seems quite fair, does it not?

I don’t know when my back pain will subside. I don’t know if it will have any effect on my surgery in a week and a half. I don’t even know if I will make it to the beach before then. But I do know that even with all of these uncertainties I feel compelled to write it down and share it with whoever feels compelled to read it. Because it's important to me that I remember what this moment feels like.

Because you know what they say about rock bottom. Nowhere to go but up, baby.

#breast cancer #cancer #mastectomy #illness #healing

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iwritethat · 5 years ago

Text

Nightwing: Alter Egos

A/N: I would like to apologise for my absence and lack of content, but new year so I’ll try harder. But there’s still CHRISTMAS and Halloween stories I want to post... Better late than never? If you want them that is.

(In this Nightwing and (Y/n) don’t know about one another’s vigilante life. Yet.)

>>>>—————————>

Usually, none of the team got a large amount of personal time with villains constantly threatening to end the world on a daily basis, but during rare periods of relaxation you spent the majority of your time with Dick Grayson - who happened to be one of your closest friends.

Obviously you couldn't tell him about being (s/h/n) because of the unspoken 'secret identity' rule despite how much you wanted to, however this arrangement did have it's advantages such as being able to keep your personal and hero lives separate.

"Hey (y/n)?" Rang through your mind and you noticed a hand waving in front of your face bringing you back to reality.

You were out shopping with Dick for your friends' Christmas presents, specifically for Wally who remained a mutual friend.

"You just completely zoned out on me." Dick laughed, seeing your confused expression.

"Did I? Sorry, I was thinking." You apologised, pushing his hand away with a smile.

"I guessed - are you gonna tell me what about, a big time crush maybe or some deep dark secret?" Grayson continued, tone filled with fake wonderment.

"Maybe, you tell me yours and I'll tell you mine." Was your upbeat response, implying that you were playing around.

"Deal - I'm Nightwing." Dick happily grinned, though his careless nature lead you to doubt him.

"Oh really?"

"No of course not (y/n), there's no way I'd have the time and I like my beauty sleep." Your friend assured you, maybe part of you was hoping he wasn't joking.

"That's a shame." You responded, tone still carrying some happiness as you continued looking through the stores' merchandise.

"How so?" Curiousity had got the better of Dick and he wanted to know what you had to say about him - uh Nightwing.

"Okay, well Nightwing is pretty cool, he has that cocky attitude that's quite attractive sometimes, being a vigilante is always a bonus and he must be good looking - from what I can tell. And his body! It's so amazing, he is just - umm I think I'm going too far?" You dragged yourself out of your lecture on Nightwing's alluring attributes once glancing over to Dick who seemed bemused with a raised brow.

"Oh no, please continue." Dick commented, undeniably enthralled and flattered but he couldn't understand the sinking feeling in stomach, you were saying these things about him yet to you, Nightwing was a completely different person.

"He's my favourite hero - that's all, possibly a tiny crush but it's unrealistic and I haven't even met the guy so I'm not going to fall head over heels in love with him. So don't look at me like that." You justified, true you weren't in love with the hero and you assumed your need to prove that to Dick Grayson was probably because you secretly liked him. Ah so many secrets.

"I get it (y/n), I personally think (s/h/n) is quite hot and a beautiful fighter." Dick responded wistfully, you couldn't help but blush even it was your alter ego he was talking about. It was times such as these you wished to tell him.

"Like you say, I haven't met her so she could be crazy for all I know. How about this for Wally?" Dick questioned, holding up a Flash Sweatshirt.

"No, he already has one." You reminisced, though you didn't forget his previous comment whilst he gazed at you skeptically leading you to defend your answer.

"Trust me he does, I bet we can find something else - if not you can just buy him food. And you're right, Nightwing could be a fuckboy." You stated nonchalantly, Dick however had to do a double take before following you out of the store desperately reminding you of your previous compliments of the hero much to your amusement.

~Time Skip~

The small Christmas gathering held at the Cave was quite exciting, though it was last minute so most were still dressed in their uniforms. Wally and Artemis even made an appearance which was unexpected but you were thankful, it had been a while since they'd left the team and admittedly it was quiet without them - even with the new recruits.

Wally knew about both yours and Nightwing's secret identities - being friends with both of you outside of heroing, but only found out who you were by accident. Honestly, he couldn't understand why Dick and yourself hadn't told each other but he'd promised to keep your secrets anyway because it wasn't his place to reveal such things - there were alternate ways to do so.

"You can see why someone would call you a fuckboy though right? The charm, the flirting, dating quite a few girls..." You half heartedly continued, responding to Nightwing's rambling of how his 'friend' outright insulted him.

"Yeah but (s/h/n) I really like this one. A lot, to the point where I don't even understand it. They're just everything I could ever want, I love everything that they do. I don't particularly want them to see me like that." Realisation hit the young hero, you on the other hand were watching on in disbelief but also with a look of sympathy.

You and Nightwing were close, so you got to know him well and you'd often talk to each other but this was new. Nightwing seemed lost in this person unlike any others you'd seen him with, even more so than with Zatana.

You smirked, ignoring the sudden breeze beside you and enlightened Nightwing with your wonderful advice.

"Wow aren't you love struck? It's horrible, I never thought I'd see the day, you should tell 'em what you just told me -"

"Sorry to interrupt guys but..." Wally intervened, pointing upwards towards the mistletoe dangling above your heads. Darn it.

"No no no. See, I've been avoiding that all evening, there wasn't any there earlier so how -" You argued before your eyes fell onto a smug Wally, too bad Kid Flash didn't forget how to use his super speed.

"One kiss?" Ex-boy wonder urged, since he knew neither of you would escape Wally's 'plan'.

Evidently, it was going to happen and kissing your superhero crush was a dream come true you supposed, so you went along with it. You placed one hand on his cheek/jaw and guided him to your lips and his held your waist loosely. Neither of you increased the intimacy, it only lasted 3 seconds maximum once you pulled away.

Wally held an expression of disappointment as that was not his desired outcome, the kiss you had just shared with his best friend was supposed to mean something. It was meant to be intimate and loving, you were supposed to tell/realise your feelings for each other - but nooo you're both just continuing your conversation like it never happened once you'd removed yourselves from the mistletoe. Wally threw his head back and sighed in frustration, he returned to Artemis who smirked at her boyfriend's antics.

"Nice try babe."

"Why did you pull away so fast?" Nightwing asked once you'd escaped the evil foliage.

"Same reason as you - I like someone else." You answered honestly, if Nightwing is willing to come to you with his relationship problems then you can get advice from him.

"Elaborate."

"I made the stupid - and clićhe - mistake of falling in love with my best friend." You proclaimed simply, rolling your eyes at your own idiocy.

"Hm, lucky guy." Nightwing's voice rang with cheerfulness once again.

"You would think, but I'm pretty sure my alter ego is friend zoned." Your tone upbeat and sarcastic causing you both to laugh.

~Time Skip~

You knocked on the door to the Manor, Bruce was invited to a gala for the New Year's celebration but the others decided to stay at the Manor which is where you were heading after Dick had asked if you were free.

It was late and New Years was approaching, wonderful at least at a party you may have the opportunity to kiss someone for good luck but you didn't mind missing out for your friends. Luck be damned.

"Miss (Y/n) I believe you left your scarf here from your previous visit, it is in Master Dick's room if you wish to collect it." Alfred greeted as you walked into the warmth the Manor provided.

"Sure, thanks Alfred." You nodded, going through to find Dick to ask for permission to enter his bedroom.

"Hey, can I grab my scarf from your room?" You called, politeness evident though you had given up your search since the Manor was huge.

"Sure (y/n)!" Dick responded from wherever he was, he understood and wouldn’t have minded if you didn’t ask but still.

Upon hearing his approval you made your way up the stairs and followed the route you knew by heart, calmly you opened his door and went to find your scarf. That's when you saw it, a Nightwing uniform strew across the bedroom floor, a string of curse words left your mouth after you got over your initial shock. Either Dick was Nightwing or an avid cosplayer, and if it was the latter why hadn’t he invited you?!

Cautiously, you began to piece together various situations in your head - as far as you knew no one else had insulted Nightwing via calling him a 'fuckboy' and did you really tell your best friend that you thought he had an amazing body that one time? Yes. Yes you did.

Taking a deep breath, you raced down stairs of the Manor focused on finding your friend despite the recent discoveries that were nagging at the back of your mind. Now most things made sense, if Dick was Nightwing then you were hoping that the 'friend' he was talking about was you - since you were the one who dared rip into his alter ego, though only in a friendly way.

Still you continued your search and luckily ran into him - literally. Arms were around your waist in an instant whilst you were mentally cursing yourself, you'd hoped it'd be smoother than this but you were willing to work with what you had considering the mini countdown ticking down to zero in your head - it was midnight!

"(Y/n) what are y-"

Instantaneously, you cut 'Nightwing' - Dick Grayson off by crashing your lips into his, unlike last time Dick was much more willing to reciprocate for you. Being lip locked with you meant so much to him and personally he wanted to make it last even if it was just for his own pleasure but was determined to make sure it was for yours as well.

Dick had eliminated all distance between you, his body was pressed against yours with his hands roaming your body and his lips moving against yours causing you to release a bearly audible moan. Though Dick heard it, of course he did, that's what he has been trying to earn from you the entire time - it meant he was making you feel good which was all he really wanted.

So when you felt him smile into the kiss after your small lapse of control you weren't surprised, painfully slowly you pulled away to leave a slight space between your lips'.

"Am I doing something wrong?" Dick inquired, his tone almost a soft whisper but carried a hint of disappointment that he'd tried to disguise.

"No, it’s amazing. You're amazing." You assured before he closed the gap again being more slow and gentle this time, deriving further pleasure for the both of you.

"That was nice... And Happy New Year fuckboy."

"Mmm, (y/n) - say what?!" Dick started, almost dreamily until your words had registered.

"I found this little thing - a uniform to be precise - on your floor." You replied, smirking slightly.

"(Y/n) I can explain just- just come with me." Dick pleaded, frustrated with himself for not putting it away in his rush to get ready. Quickly he guided you to the lounge, silently asking you to take a seat before he paced for a short time seemingly distressed. You faced your best friend expectantly, he had an explanation but where to start was a mystery.

"I wanted to tell you - I would have but with Batman and the team and I couldn't. It kept you safer too, (y/n) please I know you must be angry -" Dick began, rubbing the back of neck sheepishly.

"No I'm not angry, I completely understand." You cheerfully replied, your expression showing contentment.

"I'm so sorry (y/n) - what?" Dick looked at you completely puzzled, speechless, dumbfounded - he wasn't expecting this at all.

"That... was uh... easier than I thought?" The male concluded, still spectacle of your behaviour so much so he began to question reality.

"Yup, but just so we're even... Promise you won't freak out?" You requested politely, hoping he would react the way you did.

"I think I can do that." He nodded.

"I'm (s/h/n)." You blurted out, but you didn't get the desired response, instead you received a questioning look that implied he did not believe you.

"Trust me, you kissed me under the mistletoe at Mount Justice, the mission with the Ice villains, oh - when Bart crashed into our timeline. I also remember you talking about how love struck you were because of your friend." The final aspect of your explanation elicited a response from the one opposite you, he was blushing.

"You remembered that." Dick asked though it was more of a statement.

"I did."

"Well uh that friend - it was you (y/n), I don't understand or really know how to explain my feelings. You are everything I could ever want and I love everything you do. Shit (y/n) - I just really want to be good enough for you." Dick repeated the words he'd said to (s/h/n), or you as he'd just recently discovered, with sincerity.

"That's a relief because you're that best friend I told you about - I fell for you too." You replied sheepishly, getting to your feet.

You had no idea how happy that made him, he was in front of you in an instant placing yet another kiss on your lips.

"You give good advice (s/h/n) - and I recall you saying something about Nightwing having an amazing body." Grayson was smirking, cockiness practically radiating off of him knowing he had you cornered.

"You remembered that."

"I did." Grayson sang rather smugly, this beginning a new year with a new adventure.

...

"Oh I need to get my scarf, do you want to come with me?" You suggested, successfully changing the subject.

"Where is it (y/n)?" Dick inquired, more than willing to help you find it despite losing his moment.

"In your bedroom..."

#dick grayson #dick grayson imagine #dick grayson x reader #nightwing #nightwing x reader #nightwing imagine #dc #dc imagine

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yshai-tia · 6 years ago

Text

LFRP: Y’shai Tia ☀️🌙

LFRP – Y’shai Tia (Crystal, Balmung)

The Basics ––– –

Age: 27

Birthday: 28th day of the 1st Umbral Moon

Race: Miqo’te, Seeker/Keeper mutt.

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Homosexual

Physical Appearance ––––

Hair: Black as pitch, feathery cut with oft adornments of small braids tied off with beads, a style from his young Tribal years that he continues to maintain to this day. Lazy days will have the braids undone and free flying.

Eyes: Blue on the left, green on the right. Pupils a touch wider than the average Seeker's though it's hardly noticeable at a distance.

Height: 5 fulms, 9 ilms. (5'9")

Build: Built and toned, compacted muscle that's common among his race. Broad shoulders and noticeably sculpted arms and thighs. Much like their totem, Miqo'te of the Y tend to build strong physiques through years of swimming and tree climbing that mark their hunting ways.

Distinguishing Marks: A scar of his jawline, dark coloured traditional tribal tattoo on his nose. His torso is covered in angry scars that healed poorly, along with distinct lightning scarring (lichtenberg scars) up along his arms and various spots of healed burns on his hands and fingers. However he's rarely seen in revealing dress so these are usually covered up.

Common Accessories: Gloves, more often that not fingerless. Silver hoops in his ears. When in casual, work dress; a toolbelt around his waist adorned with various pouches, holds a number of things; pliers, flint stones, needle and threads, at least one marginally clean rag, magnifying glasses, gil pouch, adhesive, a balm or two for soothing burns, just to name a few. When dressed for fieldwork rarely is he seen not sporting a pair of scarlet goggles.

Personal ––––

Profession: Hunter, tradesman, jack of all trades for hire. Not exactly picky with the work he picks up as long as it pays and isn't abhorrently morally askew. Naturally he'll jump at any chance to work with tech, however. Most of the gil he pockets comes from repair and commission work.

Skills: Former huntsman of the Y turned engineer, skills lie in archery, tracking, marksmanship and machina work. Things he would consider more hobbies than skills of his own are botany, fishing, swimming, weaving, leatherworking, carpentry and cooking, as these were basic skills taught to all tribespeople of the Y.

Languages: Eorzean Common, Huntspeak.

Residence: Previously the Raincatcher Gully in Eastern La Noscea, currently frequenting various inn rooms depending on where he last picked up a job. Most often spotted in Gridania and Ishgard.

Birthplace: Raincatcher Gully.

Religion: Though not as fervently as when he was at home, he still personally follows the teachings of Azeyma. He has a desire to learn the teachings of Menphina as well.

Patron Deity: Azeyma the Warden, Goddess of Inquiry.

Fears: Tight, closed-off spaces, caves deep underground, cages, etc. Freezing to death. Being bound and imprisoned.

Relationships ––––

Children: None.

Parents: Y'sharai Vanoh, high priestess of the Y (Mother, Status unknown), unknown Keeper (Father)

Siblings: He considers those he grew up with around his age group as his siblings regardless of blood relation

Other Relatives: In reality, blood relations matter little and, though he left, he still considers all of the Y of the tribe he grew up with his family. However strained.

Pets: Not that he would consider him a pet in those exact words, but his Chocobo, Omelette. Don't ask about the name, or do if you fancy seeing Y'shai embarrassed.

Traits ––––

* Bold your character’s answer.

Extroverted / In Between / Introverted

Disorganized / In Between / Organized (in a chaotic way he can make sense of)

Close Minded / In Between / Open Minded

Calm / In Between / Anxious

Disagreeable / In Between / Agreeable

Cautious / In Between / Reckless

Patient / In Between / Impatient

Outspoken / In Between / Reserved

Leader / In Between / Follower

Empathetic / In Between / Apathetic

Optimistic / In Between / Pessimistic

Traditional / In Between / Modern

Hard-working / In Between / Lazy

Cultured / In Between / Uncultured

Loyal / In Between / Disloyal

Faithful / In Between / Unfaithful

Additional information ––––

Smoking Habit: Never / Sometimes / Frequently / To Excess Drugs: Never / Sometimes / Frequently / To Excess Alcohol: Never / Sometimes / Frequently / To Excess

RP Hooks ––––

★ I Can Fix That: A freelance tradesman and borderline obsessive tinkerer, Y'shai is pretty handy when it comes to most styles of craft. Clothes need mending? Chronometer on the fritz? Aetherotransformer not converting properly? Did a Big Bad blow a hole in your armor? He might be able to solve your problem for you-- for a fair price of course, guy’s gotta eat after all. Though it's said that if he's brought an interesting piece of tech his curiousity will override and he'll eagerly look at it for free. ★ Custom Built: Along with repairs Y'shai also offers a modification service on the side-- mostly for firearms, though more mechanically built bows also fall under his expertise. Looking to add a scope? Or alter the chambers so you can utilize different sorts of elemental-aspected ammunition? Or maybe you're just looking to get some fancy engraving work done. If you're looking to treat yourself and your six shooter, look no further. ★ Skysteel Frequenter: With his recent apprenticeship at Skysteel Manufactory he's currently seen in the workshop quite a bit. If you happen to also be in and out of there on a nigh daily basis chances are you've seen him around. Whether it's a mutual love for the marksman life or to geek out together over tech, there can be common ground to be struck here. ★ Putting the Cat in Catburglar: Though he doesn't exactly make it common, public knowledge, when Y'shai needs to replenish his sources of Garlean tech he'll wait until night falls and raids the nearest Castrum for parts. And to cause a general ruckus. Do you hate the empire? Do you have an interest their magitech? Love storming their bases just for the hell of it? It'd be a lot easier to carry out more parts with more hands on deck after all... ★ Ehcatl Nine Blackguard: It's not uncommon to find Y'shai around the Twelveswood, originally he sought out Gridania for multiple reasons; to improve on his archery, to learn of Keeper culture, to visit the woods his mother once spoke of so fondly. But it was among the beastribe of Ixal known as the Ehcatl Nine where his, at the time, novice experience as a craftsman was free to take wing. Literally. Though it's been some moons since he finished contributing to the development of the Dezul Qualan airship, he still enjoys visiting from time to time to see how they're coming along. He feels permanently indebted to Sezul and his crew. ★ Moon Gazing: Though not all too open about his heritage, Y'shai does have a secret desire to learn more of Keeper culture and the teachings of Menphina. Part of him feels he shouldn't care, not as if his Pops was ever a part of his life-- but on the other hand it's clearly something his mother knew of and loved enough to stay distant from home from some time. Are you a tribal Keeper? A priest/priestess of Menphina? Don't mind inelegantly asked questions? Apologies in advance. ★ Jaguar of the Rainforest: Fellow members of the Y who grew up in the Raincatcher sept would know Y'shai as family or former family considering their stance on his departure. And, though very rare, there is always a chance outsiders have happened upon the Y settlement in the past and met Y'shai long before he became who he is today. (this would take some pre-plotting together!)

★ Restoring the Firmament: Working out of Ishgard via the Manufactory means Y’shai is in prime, and eager, position to devote a good portion of his time to the recently begun restoration of the Firmament district. Are you also dedicated to seeing Ishgard flourish once more? Crafter and/or gatherer of no small renown? Maybe you’re just into watching from the sidelines and admiring the very nice view of all the hard-working men and women doing heavy lifting.

What I’m looking for ––––

Just about anything and everything in between. Friends, enemies, rivals, someone you have to work with that you can’t tolerate but secretly admire (and oh no they’re kinda hot?), a complete stranger to get drunk with under the stars and discuss the intricacies of life and why apkallu omelettes are superior to dodo omelettes-- c’mon dude they are way fluffier! I love light-hearted slice of life moments, intense, high-stakes action scenes and espionage, meaningful angst and scenes rife with emotion, falling into the dark underbelly of Eorzea and learning what grey morality really is. Chances are if you think it sounds dope and worth exploring so do I! I love writing for the sake of writing and if you feel similarly we’ll probably click.

The ultimate dream is fulfilling my favourite trope of a Found Family, but ‘course something like that would take dedication!

OOC info ––––

18+, Canadian, EST. Here to have a good time.

I have discord and all that jazz so if you want a snappier way to communicate just lemme know. I like to think I’m pretty laid-back in all regards and not too much can ruffle my feathers, so don’t be scared to hit me up, world is your oyster! yeehaw

my boy also has a carrd, you’ll find everything here on there but with Extra Lore™!

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tyrantisterror · 6 years ago

Note

Who do you think is a more compelling villain, Emperor SkekSo or Lord Voldemort? They're both quite similar. They're both thin, darkly-dressed and barefoot leaders of a clan of bad guys, they both have messed up noses, and most importantly, they're both scared shitless of dying, and will sacrifice countless lives and inflict terrible damage on their own bodies and souls just for a chance to live a little longer.

That’s a hard question to answer because they’re both villains that, by the nature of their role in their respective narratives, have to be kind of boring.

Both Harry Potter and The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance are stories about how people in power can get away with being cruel, and how people beneath them in the power structure can, well, resist that cruelty. The chief villains/big bads of these kind of stories have to embody the idea of a corrupt power structure - the narrative requires them to be that corruption manifest, to be nothing more than the desire for power and willingness to harm others personified. As such, there really can’t be much more to either Voldemort or the Emperor than that powerlust and cruelty, and because both narratives are fairly well written (I’m going to get flak for paying Harry Potter that compliment I just know it), they, well, aren’t much more than that.

Why is there that structural need for simplicity? Well, because for this kind of narrative we have to show why this corrupt use of power is bad, and we have to show it from a lot of angles. You need a character who has completely succumbed to the pursuit of power to the point that there’s no horrible deed they won’t do, no line they wouldn’t cross, no person they wouldn’t abuse - and, ideally, you need to show how succumbing to that lust has also reduced the villain in the process, how it has turned them into something less than they could be. The lack of depth is a feature, not a flaw - it turns them into something pitiful and undesirable, it reveals how this powerlust ultimately consumes those who succumb to it the most. At the end of the tale, no right-minded person should want to become Voldemort or the Emperor, or any other characters in their archetypal role. No one should think that being THAT consumed with powerlust is desirable.

It’s the minions in these kind of stories who get to be the really interesting villains, because their role is as both foil to the heroes AND to their dark master. They’re people who are pursuing the same line of thought as the head villain, but haven’t fully succumbed to it, and as such have the potential to change, either for the worst or the better. The Emperor/Voldemort/Personification of Powerlust cannot change until the end of the story, as even the slightest bit of character growth means defeat for them (as they’ve done SO MUCH for this idealogy that they cannot remain what they are by altering the course of their nature), but their minions can, and can do so often, even going back and forth as they wrestle with the problem. I doubt the Emperor is anyone’s favorite Skeksi, because it’s the other ones who get to show real shades to their personalities and values, and I doubt anyone really prefers Voldemort to Bellatrix Lestrange, the Malfoys, Snape, etc. Hell, most Harry Potter fans seem to think that Umbridge was the most effective villain in the series, and she didn’t even start on Voldemort’s side!

So let’s revisit the question: of the two, Voldemort and the Emperor, who is more compelling? I’m going to give the victory to the Emperor, and the reason why ALSO has to do with narrative structure.

Harry Potter is one character’s story above all else, and is built this way to a fault. The entire world and cast of characters was designed for the titular wizard boy’s narrative needs, it is CENTERED on Harry as a character (which is why any attempts on Rowling’s part to tell stories without him have sucked, but that’s another ramble altogether). In Voldemort’s case, there really isn’t a need for Voldemort to do anything other than present a threat to Harry’s life and well-being for most of the series, and since Rowling is a good enough writer to be efficient in this way, Voldemort does exactly that and no more. For the first five books there is nothing to him except malice and menace - he is the Evil Bad Guy who does Evil Bad Things and Hates Harry Specifically Because Fate Story Structure Says So. It’s only towards the adventure’s end, when Harry has been through enough shit to start reflecting and trying to figure out what he (and we the readers) should learn from all these shenanigans, that the narrative finally and begrudgingly decides to reveal why Voldemort became what he is, with a neat and tidy answer that fits thematically (The Power of and Need for Love is central to the story, so Voldemort was made evil because he was the product of a union made via a love potion, i.e. a result of an act that usually needs some love being done without it) and structurally (Voldemort was Born Evil). It doesn’t really give him pathos or depth, but it does adequately explain him, and it makes Harry look all the better when, despite everything, he still has some sympathy for the twisted lump of flesh that represents Voldemort’s broken and hideous soul.

The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance is an ensemble piece - there are main characters, plural, and the narrative is structured not only around their arcs, but around the world they inhabit. It has a grander scope - it is the story of a world, of an AGE, and to show that it has to divide its focus across several perspectives, which is a far harder feat (but one that does lend itself better to telling multiple stories, if that’s a thing you’re aiming for). As a result, we can’t really wait as long as Harry Potter did to explain our main villain - we have to see his substance, even if structurally there can’t be too much of it, far sooner than the sixth of seven installments. And we do - subtly, at first, with the dinner scene where the Emperor picks at one of his festering wounds while the other skeksis argue, and other tiny, easy to miss moments like it. We can see that in some way he is dimly aware of the toll his lifestyle is taking on him, and that all his bluster and cruelty is motivated at least partly in fear of losing it all. It culminates in that excellent conversation he has with the general about dreams, and guilt, and the cost of power, one where he is so close to admitting that becoming this grand evil is destroying him, but ultimately chooses not to sway from the course - because he has given up so much of himself to pursue power now that to turn back would be to make it all for nothing. He can ONLY take the victory he has been reaching for - attempting for anything else means destruction in one way or another.

It doesn’t change what he is - if anything it reaffirms the fact that he is a heartless, remorseless monster who will destroy any and everyone to get what he wants - but it does explain what and why he is, in a way that, chillingly, anyone can understand. We can see how we might have become him had things in our lives gone differently, and we can see how real people who resemble the Emperor may have followed a similar path. While the reveals of the Emperor’s “origin” and Voldemort’s are similar in some respects and establish a similar status quo, the Emperor’s is more substantial because Age of Resistance is his story as much as it is Rian’s or Deet’s or Brea’s or the Chamberlain’s, and thus the answer of what and why the Emperor is what he is has the room and the need to mean more than just what one other character needs him to be.

#yourloudcollectorenthusiastworld

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writing-for-amusement · 6 years ago

Text

Commission for Confidence, 6

Summary: Y/N has been struggling with her self-esteem for years. After incessant pushing from your best friend, Y/N decides to commission an artist to draw her, expecting everything to happen via Internet. However, when your phone is stolen, you try to cancel the commission, but Peter Parker has other ideas. He quickly becomes enraptured by you, and a friendship forms easily. Will it lead to something more? Or will your past fears get in the way?

A/N: I hope you guys like this chapter! It’s probably gonna speed up a little bit after this one, at least in time passage. I might try and draw a layout of Y/N’s apartment, but I don’t have such a concrete idea of how it’s formed yet, so who knows what’ll happen with that.

Remember, if you want to be on my taglist for this, just let me know! If you want to be on my “everything” taglist (since I have a new series started), just let me know!!! If you’re already on this taglist and want to be on the permanent one, just tell me, because I don’t want to assume anything!!

Taglist: @pparkerwrites, @scatterbrainedgenius, @jordyns-library, @wildfirecracker, @pastlives-purplesouls, @maybemona

Word Count: 2322

Warnings: photography, awkwardness as always, getting in your personal bubble but not aggressively, Peter being a cutie patootie

“H-how about we get started?” you asked rhetorically. “How do you want me?”

“Uh, just sort of relax, don’t mind me, I’ll be pretty quick with the camera,” Peter said, putting the camera up to his face.

Rather awkwardly, you shifted slightly, looking at your mug. With a quick idea in your mind, you put the mug next to your face and turned, pretending to kiss Spider-Man’s logo while looking at the camera.

Peter almost tripped over his feet again, but you chalked it up to a spare pencil that was on the floor.

“Why don’t you tell me about your favorite place?” Peter asked as the shutter clicked.

You puffed your cheeks as you tried to think, blowing out the air as you made your decision. “I have this little spot in my apartment,” you began, glancing out the window and holding the mug to your chest. “It’s in my closet, under the corner shelves, which are kinda wide. I can fit down there, along with my laptop and some snacks. Maybe I could even fit another person in there, I don’t know, I’ve never tried.”

“What do you do there?” Peter prompted you to continue.

You smiled gently as you thought about how comforted the spot made you feel. “I have some blankets draped over the shelves to close it off from light. I taped a bunch of little fairy lights to the top and along the walls, and I piled a bunch of pillows and blankets down there. When I’m feeling down, or like everything is too much, I can go to that little spot and shut out the rest of the world. It’s really comfy and makes me feel safe.”

“Sounds like it,” Peter hummed. “Look this way, please.”

You turned your head and smiled at Peter’s sincere response. “Maybe someday you’ll get to see it. It’s a nice little hidey hole.”

“I’d be honored,” he grinned at you.

After a few more minutes of Peter asking you to pose your arms and face various ways, he asked you to stand up and put the mug on the stool.

“Oooooh,” you teased, “we’re mixing it up.”

“Gotta stay on your toes,” he replied easily. “Stand against the wall as comfortably as you can, try not to look stiff.”

As you followed his directions, you said, “You know, Peter, by telling me to not look stiff, I’m gonna look stiff. You know that, right?”

Peter chuckled and let his camera hang from his neck. He crossed towards you and guided you into a leaning position instead of a standing one. Your body was angled to the window, and he positioned your right arm to be slightly above your head against the wall.

You tried to keep your pulse and your breathing under control, but it was hard when Peter was making you so aware of everything you’d ever done. He smelled faintly of the coffee shop from earlier, and also just slightly of some sort of sweet fruity bodywash. Your hands wanted nothing more to cup his gorgeous jaw, but you kept your body posed the way he wanted it.

“Perfect,” he whispered, looking down at you. You looked down to avoid bursting into flames from the intensity of his look.

After a few more moments, Peter moved away from you and you felt like you could breathe again. He talked aimlessly to you, his voice getting you to relax, as he snapped a few more photos. After a joke about the elements had you laughing with your head thrown back, Peter announced that he was done with the photography portion.

“Now what?” you asked, picking your mug up and taking a long drink.

“Well—” Peter stopped as he looked at his watch. “Actually, can I walk you home really quick? I just remembered I have something to do.”

“Ah, you don’t have to—”

“I want to,” he reassured you, quickly putting away his camera and heading to the door. You followed, a little surprised by his longer-than-normal strides.

The two of you quickly put on your shoes and you made sure you had all your stuff. Peter opened the door and let you out, quickly shutting and locking the door after asking Karen to turn off all the lights. You almost couldn’t keep up with Peter because he was walking so fast and you didn’t have his long stride.

“Sorry,” he mumbled as you waited for the elevator.

“It’s alright, I run late more than I’d like,” you waved off his apology.

Sooner than you knew, you and Peter were walking down the sidewalk, and a more comfortable pace than before. Peter kept you entertained with stories from college and you were laughing so much that you nearly fell over multiple times.

You stopped in front of your apartment building and Peter faced you, a smile on his face that made your heart do jumping jacks.

“Hey, I’m sorry to ask this,” Peter rubbed the back of his neck nervously, “but can I come up and use your bathroom?”

You blinked a few times before nodding. “Of course, just follow me.”

After crossing the empty lobby (no doorman for you), you began your trek up the stairs, Peter following closely behind you, but not uncomfortably close. You truly hated that the elevator hadn’t been fixed yet, because when you were carrying groceries, you often dropped at least two items on the climb to the eighth floor.

“Here we are,” you announced as you made it to your floor, panting only slightly. You crossed to your apartment and unlocked the door, letting Peter in.

“This is a cute little place,” Peter said sincerely, making you chuckle.

“It’s nice, I do enjoy living here,” you replied. “Though it could be better, it could be much, much worse.” You toed off your shoes as you said, “The bathroom is the first door on the right down the hallway.”

“Thanks,” Peter nearly sprinted to the hallway.

You chuckled to yourself and put your bag on your couch. You turned on the TV and opened the HULU app, thinking to yourself about the incredibly enjoyable afternoon you spent with Peter. He was so sweet and funny that he constantly had your heart in disarray, trying to maintain your composure.

After a few minutes, a slightly ruffled Peter appeared out of your bathroom. He was slightly flushed, but you pushed the strangeness of it aside.

“Thanks so much,” Peter smiled at you, standing not even a foot away from you.

“Thank you, Peter,” you beamed. “I had so much fun this afternoon.”

“I did too,” he breathed, stepping ever so slightly closer. “I want to hang out again soon, anytime you’re available, just for fun.”

“I don’t find that to be unreasonable,” you grinned.

Peter’s smile grew. “I’ll email you later, okay? That’ll be the easiest way to get in contact with you until your phone is in, right?”

“Yeah!”

“Awesome,” he beamed. “Well, I’d better get going.”

You walked him to the door. “Thanks again for a wonderful afternoon, Peter. I’m glad we did this. You are a delight.”

“So are you,” he murmured as he faced you. Contemplation crossed his face and he quickly leaned forward, kissing your cheek. “I’ll see you soon,” he stated.

“Bye, Peter,” you managed to keep the stutter from your lips.

“Bye, Y/N, my new bestie,” he winked as he walked backwards out the door before nearly running to the stairs.

With the kiss still burning on your cheek, you slowly closed and locked your door. You leaned against it and couldn’t contain the small squeal and giggle that bubbled up from your chest. You couldn’t remember the last time your heart felt so incredibly light.

About two hours of restlessness later, you decided to sit on your fire escape and read a book. You liked to sit there in the evenings and watch the traffic dip before coming to life with the night scene. There was a strange sense of peacefulness that came with sitting on the fire escape and sipping your tea, thumbing through your book or work, depending on the day.

You brought your small reading lamp out with you so that you could read when the sun went down completely. It was a nice night and you were soothed by the ambient noises of the traffic below; it helped calm your restlessness that had cropped up after Peter kissed your cheek and winked at you.

Your tea was long gone by the time you closed your book to look out at the buildings and life going on around you.

“Hello,” a deep voice surprised you.

You jumped in surprise and looked up to see Spider-Man perched on your fire escape railing, watching you with a tilt of his head. His mask moved slightly as you clutched at your chest instinctively to try and calm your heart.

“Didn’t mean to scare you,” he said, his voice obviously altered.

“I-it’s fine,” you stuttered, glad that your tea was definitely gone, and the mug was sitting next to you. Otherwise, you definitely would have accidentally thrown it at the superhero. You’d nearly thrown your book at him.

“Whatcha doing on your fire escape?” the hero asked, sliding off the railing to gracefully sit facing you. “Is there something wrong?”

Your eyebrows knitted together, and you shook your head with a reassuring smile. “No, why would you think that?” you asked him.

“A lot of times, I see people sitting on their fire escapes when they want to escape the world, so,” he shrugged, “I figured that I’d ask.”

You chuckled at him and shook your head slightly. “I like the ambient sound of the traffic. I got a little restless a few hours ago and thought this might help,” you found yourself explaining to the hero.

He nodded in understanding before looking at you with narrowed white eyes. “What made you restless, random citizen?”

“Why do you want to know so bad?” you shot back with a smirk.

The white eyes of the mask widened and that made you chuckle. “I-I was just curious, that’s all, maybe I could help?”

You laughed lightly and raised your hands to placate his stuttering. “No worries, hero of Queens!” you smirked.

“So,” he prompted, scooting closer the eyes of the mask widened and narrowed, appearing to act like eyebrows, “are you going to tell me?”

Your laugh floated through the air again and you nodded. “I met this guy today,” you began almost shyly, a soft smile on your face. “He’s super sweet and funny and smart, and, well, I find myself already liking him a lot. He’s really easy to get along with, really easy to talk to, you know? He has this light inside him that makes me want to be around him more and more. He walked me home, which is more than I can say for a lot of my ‘friends’ I’ve had in the past.” You trailed off slightly, your eyebrows furrowing.

“What about this made you restless?” Spider-Man asked gently.

“Well,” you sighed, “he’s really cute, and he’s kinda flirty. Not that I mind, of course, but after he left, I found myself thinking about how I wanted to see him again, but I don’t want to bother him, and I know he probably has cooler friends than me. And, well, he kissed my cheek and that nearly made me burst into flames. I don’t know,” you sighed again, “I think my anxiety just had me thinking a lot about everything.”

Spider-Man nodded in understanding. “Well, how do you know he doesn’t think you’re cool? Or at least as cool as his other friends?”

You chuckled sadly. “Look at me, Spider-Man, I’m a very lame human. It’s a Saturday night and I’m sitting on my fire escape, reading a book I’ve read eighteen times before, with no more tea because I already drank it. I’m hardly the coolest kid on the block.”

“Well,” he tilted his head in thought, “I barely know you, and I think you’re pretty cool. Just don’t worry, I’m sure he thinks you’re as great as you think he is.”

You laughed and rolled your eyes. “Sure, Spider-Man. So,” you leaned towards him, “what brings you to my fire escape?”

He shrugged. “Saw a beautiful woman on a fire escape, figured I should make sure she’s okay.”

You giggled slightly and covered your mouth with your hand. “Okay, sure, Spider-Man,” you drawled teasingly. “Maybe you were just lonely.”

“I’ll never tell,” he informed you dramatically

You laughed again and shook your head at his antics. “Alright, well, Spider-Man, if you ever do get lonely, feel free to knock on my window. And, well, thank you for dropping in,” you tried to push the heat away from your cheeks. “My first time meeting you has gone pretty well, if I do say so. And, well, I think talking about it helped me out.”

“I’m happy to help, Y/N,” he stated firmly, standing gracefully. “And thanks for the information. I enjoyed talking to you.”

“Likewise, Spider-Man,” you smirked, standing as well. He hopped on the railing and turned to give you a mock salute. “Wait, how did you know my name?”

“Bye!” he exclaimed quickly, swinging away immediately after that.

You sighed affectionately—because Spider-Man was as nice as everyone said—and climbed back inside your apartment with your stuff. Meeting Spider-Man was nice, but it ended up draining your social battery the rest of the way. After locking the window, you closed the curtains and went about your nightly routine.

As you stared at the ceiling from your bed, trying to hunt down sleep, you thought back to your day once again. Your cheek tingled and warmed at the memory of the kiss and you found yourself drifting off to sleep with the same warmth filling your body.

#peter parker x reader #peter parker x plus size reader #peter parker x insecure!reader #artist peter parker au #spider-man x reader #spider-man x plus size reader #slow burn fic #commission for confidence

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