#one day i will learn how to be concise. not today though

[wovenstarlight]

How would you define how Yoohyun feels about Yerim? Since obviously his opinion of her has improved since they first met, but I don't know if he actually likes her

HMMM i don't know that Yoohyun is actually like physically capable of liking anyone besides Yoojin! i'm kidding but also only slightly. like if you remember what Irin says in chapter 287, it goes "AN INSANE PROPORTION OF YOOHYUN'S THOUGHTS ARE ABOUT YOU [YOOJIN] COMPARED TO THOUGHTS ABOUT ANYONE ELSE I PROMISE", so if you're including his feelings towards Yoojin as a comparison point, it's going to skew the chart to unreasonable levels, and it'd look like the answer is No, Yoohyun doesn't care about Yerim at all

HOWEVER. if you EXCLUDE Yoojin from the chart then Yerim actually ends up being one of the two people Yoohyun likes most! with the other being Peace. from 287, in Irin's words, 80% of Yoohyun's thoughts that aren't about Yoojin are instead about Yerim and Peace. of course, that's exclusively based on the fact that Yerim and Peace both also like Yoojin the most. Yoohyun cares about other people in proportion to how much they care about his hyung, single-minded little idiot that he is /affectionate.

BUT THAT ASIDE! i think he does care about Yerim in a couple different respects. one is that he trusts her in a way that's different from people like Seok Simyeong or Kim Sunghan—you'll notice that in chapter 239, he explicitly designates her (and Peace) as the first two people he actually recognizes as part of "his world", which is a position not even his closest guild members have enjoyed, despite him clearly trusting them to do their jobs well and look after Yoohyun himself to some degree. he trusts her to look after Yoojin, which is probably the deepest level of belief he can hold in someone other than his hyung. and for the same reason—that she cares above all for Yoojin and his happiness and his safety, and can back up that care with the ability to protect him—i do think he likes her!

Yoohyun also cares about Yerim's wellbeing (again, in relation to Yoojin! in that he knows Yoojin will be sad if Yerim isn't okay. this is something a lot of people who care about Yoojin are aware of and account for: that they can take care of him indirectly by looking after the other people he loves. you see it with Sung Hyunjae lending Yerim his flame-resistant coat in chapter 126, and Yoo Myeongwoo making sure Yoohyun has the best equipment in chapter 240, both for Yoojin's sake). she's not only important to Yoojin himself, from which Yoohyun derives some level of actual care, but also one of Yoohyun's guild members and technically part of his family, which adds a sense of duty and responsibility for her into the mix. remember when he blew Gakuto through a pillar because he called Yerim a bitch in chapter 215 with the whole That's My Guild Member You Motherfucker attitude... i thought that was pretty funny of him. and like. when Yoojin was straight up dead for a while there in 240, the only thing stopping Yoohyun from following him into death on the spot was the thought that he had to make sure Yerim (and Peace and the others) knew. so that they could actually grieve him instead of just never knowing what had happened to him. he cares about them!!! he does!!! it's like trying to find a needle in a haystack compared to his love for Yoojin but he does!!!!!

of course i do also think that Yoohyun finds her incredibly annoying. they're constantly squabbling, this isn't a far-fetched guess, they fight to the point that chopsticks somehow end up embedded in the dining room wall and yoojin has to scold them to quit it in chapter 171. yerim's constantly on the verge of calling him ugly. that one time early on in chapter 48 when she was like WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN TO ME and he trotted out a whole bullet point numbered list without missing a beat. i bet he still has a list now, just with different reasons on it. but like. that's just normal siblings innit. you care about each other a whole fucking lot but you would also sell them to satan for one corn chip or however that goes.

TL;DR: yoohyun likes her but he'd probably die before he said that in as many words. not out of unwillingness or anything, just because it wouldn't occur to him to. yerim knows without him needing to say it, after all.

(where's my evidence for that, you ask. well! spoiler excerpt from chapter 331 from Yerim's POV about how Yoohyun has acknowledged and accepted her below the cut)

However, she couldn’t help the presence of anxiety in her relationship with Han Yoojin. It was love that all but dropped out of the sky one day. The claim that it was because she was an S-rank Awakened person wasn’t enough. What was more, Han Yoojin was crowded with exceptional people at his side. Han Yoojin clearly cared for Bak Yerim, but it was difficult for Bak Yerim to think she was special to him. Couldn’t it be that what she’d suddenly gained might suddenly disappear? The one who quelled that anxiety she tried to ignore was none other than Han Yoohyun. Han Yoohyun had hated Bak Yerim. Because his hyung liked her. Han Yoohyun had accepted Bak Yerim. Because she liked his hyung. Han Yoohyun had acknowledged Bak Yerim. Because she had the ability to protect his hyung. It was a relationship entirely based on Han Yoojin, but if anything, Bak Yerim was relieved and happy because of that. This was Han Yoohyun, who Han Yoojin was everything to, who was beyond difficult when it came to things relating to him. That harsh guy had accepted Bak Yerim standing by his hyung’s side.

points at them. Yerim feels accepted and cared for by Yoohyun

[bagalois]

100 days of productivity - 6/100

jan 22, 2025.

✔ went to class ✔ washed my dishes ✔ meal prepped! ✔ put away groceries ✔ troubleshooted an issue with my fridge to my landlord

(more under the cut - warning for very long and kind of negative)

today's the first day of classes (where i'm a student)! i'm taking combinatorics, group theory, and algebraic topology.

the profs for algtop and group theory were... okay, i guess. i dont doubt they are very knowledgeable about their field, and the lecture content was all fine and good, but the presentation i fear was not so good. my algtop professor waffled on about inconsequential things that only made sense to him for probably half of the entire lecture (random jokes and pedantic clarifications that depend entirely on your specialty that, frankly, while i understand their place, the slight difference in convention between algebraists and geometers doesn't mean very much to me as somebody who is not that familiar with either field). and the group theory prof, he spoke too quietly and the entire class could barely read his handwriting.

also, i fear that i've come down with a cold or a fever, so even though i got a lot done, i felt pretty bad all day. i felt okay this morning but i still wore a mask. another grad student asked me why i was wearing one, and i told them i was worried i got exposed to some sickness, since i was feeling under the weather.

i was started to overheat and get overstimulated just from my combo prof's voice .-. and she was the only good lecturer i had today! straightforward, concise, and had briefly humorous moments that didn't detract from the rest of the lecture.

overall i've been feeling less than great, but getting as much as i have done today makes me feel better. posting, cleaning, cooking - all these things help ground me in some semblance of reality.

(begin cw: us politics)

it's probably because i'm sick, but i can't deny that trump's inauguration -- specifically how a lot of people are panicking about it -- is weighing on me. i really hate how little i know about anything. palestine-israel was what got me to seriously think about politics for the first time. of course i remember what i learned in high school history class, and as an ethnically han chinese person i paid attention to BLM and stop asian hate, but i didn't really think critically. my history classes didn't seem relevant when i was taking them, but of course they're relevant; the history is the context for what i'm living now.

eventually i was going to grow up and fend for myself and the people i care about in this country. i never realized that somehow. i have been so naive and ignorant.

it seems that everybody else has long understood what has been going on, with everything. but now my friends are panicking and i don't know what i'm supposed to worry about or not. when news articles and social media become untrustworthy, you need to rely on yourself - your own knowledge and critical thinking. unfortunately, i forgot to do that growing up...

(acknowledgement and disclaimer) i'm in a better position than most. the fact that i'm just worried about being informed is nothing compared to the others currently losing/have lost their homes, jobs, reproductive care access, their dignity (transgender inmates being forced to detransition), etc. so i don't mean to say all this to mean i'm genuinely panicking about living in trump's america. i just have a fever and i'm more stressed than i should be about the weight of my privilege and resulting responsibility if i want to call myself an ally/leftist/whatever.

(/end cw)

in any case.... i like to finish these things on a positive note so i'll keep writing.

i have to teach tomorrow morning at 8:30am :/ last time i barely spent any time reviewing/teaching summation notation to the class. i just showed them the anatomy of the notation and did one example, but for some it's their first time seeing that, so i should be spending more time on it.

after teaching, well, i wanted to sit in on riemannian geometry but if i still feel shitty tomorrow then i might just go home... i have textbook chapters to read and review so that'll keep me occupied while im not at school.

i'm taking a couple mg of melatonin as i'm writing this sentence. i need to rest. bye~

[wonfiidoesgamedev]

100 Days of Gamedev (Day 19)

tldr: very reading dense lesson today. Learned about a few different ways to read player inputs, and also learned about boolean expressions, and a few different ways to use them.

Today's lesson was a pretty big one, thankfully though i was able to focus into it pretty well. Learned about a different way to handle inputs, and how to combine boolean expressions to check for multiple conditions simultaneously. Also covered a few ways to make things no longer intractable, notably for our use case we set input_pickable to false to prevent something from occurring more than once. From my understanding there are a lot of ways to solve this sort of problem. Sometimes theres a built in function or member variable in Godot you can use that would be the most simple and concise way to code, but if you dont want to write it that way, or cant for your use case, or simply dont know it exists then there are multiple ways to get to the same end point. I think ive got the general idea of how to do all of these things, but i definitely dont have the exact syntax in my brain still. Which seems to be a very common pattern so far lmfao. I understand the concepts but code has to be written a VERY specific way, and making sure you've got it written correctly has been kind of a pain. So far the syntax problem has solved itself with extra practice and using the code.

Ill get it down with time~

[teatitty]

Dandelion, in book and game canon, is noted for being a master of the seven liberal arts. For those that don't know, the liberal arts irl are: Grammar, Logic, Rhetoric, Arithmetic, Astronomy, Music and Geometry; so lets briefly breakdown what each one was back in the medieval and middle ages [since those eras are the basis for the series] and see exactly how intellectually smart Dandelion was

First we have the Trivium, which were the three basic tools of reasoning and expression and were the gateways into much higher fields of learning

Grammar: The study of written works and forms of writing, usually through memorisation and reading of classical texts. Learning and diagraming the parts of speech became common, and other language-related knowledge like spelling and vocabulary have grown out of grammar studies

Logic: The easiest way to describe this is basically philosophy - there's a lot of "discussions and investigations into truth and opinions" which would be why Dandelion has so many Thoughts about things

Rhetoric: Closely related to Logic studies, this one was about learning how to express your opinions and make clear concise arguments

Next we have the Quadrivium, which are all about maths and the traditional arts we know of

Arithmetic: The basic mathematics such as addition, subtraction, division, multiplication etc as well as mathematic notation

Music: Though less widespread now, back in the day music studies were incredibly important for students to understand and appreciate creation by learning about the various forms and instruments of music - in short, Dandelion would be able to play far more than just the lute if he wanted to

Geometry: This one would have covered everything from architecture to engineering to surveying, all of which are now their own separate disciplines of study. So, in ye olde times, Geometry used to be far more practical in application. This is why I like to joke that Dandelion is like if Shakespeare and Leonardo da Vinci were fused into one person

Astronomy: The contemplation of the heavens and humankind’s place in them received more emphasis in an era where less was known and more was imagined than today. Astronomy was at first considered essential for fields such as navigation and determining dates, but grew to include more advanced mathematics and physics studies

Plato is probably the most famous of real life masters of these arts to give an example of how impactful and important they are in our history, so Dandelion being a master of all 7 and being qualified to teach at the university itself is no small feat by any means. Intellectually speaking, Dandelion is easily one of the smartest characters in the books - but he's also impulsive, curious to a fault, tempermental and often doesn't follow his own common sense, which is why he has Geralt and the Hansa to look out for him lol

[lostboyfritz]

Hi, I'm Detransistioning

As a child, I always felt different. Like I didn’t fit into the mold of being a girl. I loved rough housing, I liked bugs, I was obsessed with dinosaurs, I hated dresses - so much so that in every childhood photo of me wearing one I’m frowning. I rejected anything traditionally feminine. To the great glee of my dad, who rewarded me with approval for being a tomboy, someone who scoffed at the very idea of makeup, all the while poking fun at my sister when she spoke on anything too ‘girly’. My mom had also grown up as a tomboy, though now most people would have described the way she talked and acted when I was younger as a ‘pick me’ girl. Even my aunt celebrated my more rough exterior, celebrating my taste in music when it leaned more towards heavy rock instead of pop girlies. But, all while my identity was being praised and rewarded, I watched my sister be put in a box labelled 'shallow'. She was ‘lovingly’ mocked for her interests. Looking back, this dynamic was formative in ways I didn’t fully understand then. 

I want to be clear: I don’t blame my family for the choices I’ve made. I carry so much love for myself and the journey I’ve been on when it comes to my identity. It’s all part of who I am today, how I’ve learned about the world, the different perspectives on life I’ve gained. So while the way they treated me and my siblings as kids absolutely affected me, I was the one who made the choices I did. 

Besides, it wasn’t just their relationships that shaped this journey, but one with an ex-girlfriend especially as well. For three years I dated someone who would talk about how she always seemed to turn the girls she dates more masculine, how she had one ex go as far as transitioning, how she only seems to attract trans men. What I didn’t see during that relationship was the way she pushed gender roles on basic things like holding doors open or paying for meals. In a lesbian relationship it’s usually outsiders asking ‘who the man’ is, but with her I found I was oftentimes described by her as the ‘guy’ despite very few of my actions being all that masculine. In reality I find I love the housewife life, cleaning and organizing, cooking, getting everyone ready for the day. That didn’t matter though, because she was a master manipulator, and while there is a lot that needs to be discussed on what abuse looks like in lesbian and sapphic relationships, this isn’t what this post is for. But to make this a little more concise; Due to the subtle ways she'd reward specific behavior, I’d find myself masculinizing myself to earn her approval, desperate to feel worthy of her love amid a lot of emotional and financial abuse. I didn’t realize how much internalized misogyny was at play - how deeply it was influencing me from childhood to my early twenties.

The first time I cut my hair short was a pivotal moment. I was still living in Miami Beach, I was still being scrutinized by my then girlfriend, still being made to ask permission to see and talk to family or old friends I hadn’t seen in years. I was in a bad place, enduring an overwhelming amount of abuse I kept gaslighting myself into believing was all in my head. But then, looking in the mirror, I didn’t recognize the person staring back at me. Getting my hair cut into a bob cut felt like a fresh start, so I went even shorter, taking the scissors to my own hair now, cutting away little by little. I was misgendered in public for the first time, which ignited a mix of fear and strange relief. 

My relationship began falling apart soon after. The more I clung to this new identity, the more confident I was to be the type of person that stood up for themselves. That stopped gaslighting what they knew was happening. The identity that I adopted saved my life, because the person I was before was convinced the only way out of that relationship was if I killed myself. I also thought that presenting as male would shield me from further abuse. In hindsight, I see how flawed that belief was. Abuse doesn’t discriminate, and men often endure it without even realizing it. It’s normalized for girls to be ‘possessive’ of their man, or to not let them have other friends that are women, or to demand they stop their own hobbies like gaming rather than coming to compromises.  The same goes for power dynamics in sapphic relationships, a topic we truly don’t talk about enough. I’m hoping that this blog? Platform? Whatever this turns into gives space to hold those conversations, and while the internet is where nuance goes to die, I’m still hopeful a door will open. 

When I fled that relationship, and I do mean the term fled literally, I moved back in with my parents in San Diego, where access to gender therapy and HRT was straightforward. For some, that ease of access is a blessing. A lifeline that keeps them holding on just a little bit longer. For me, though, it was a lifeline I wasn’t fully prepared for. I was quietly unraveling mentally, and while gender-affirming care is vital and should be accessible, my journey highlighted the need for comprehensive support, including therapy with someone that better understood abuse in lgbt+ relationships. 

This post isn’t about criticizing access to care. I wholeheartedly believe trans people deserve access to gender-affirming treatment without unnecessary barriers. Therapy is valuable but it shouldn’t be a gatekeeping tool. Everyone deserves to explore their identity safely, even when their resources and finances are limited. This post is to highlight the opposite actually. It’s to say that if more resources had been available, if more conversations regarding internalized misogyny surrounding the lesbian community were being had, if therapists that specialized in domestic abuse also understood the complexities behind lgbt+ relationships and the desire to give all the love you were rejected due to being gay away to someone who shows you the slightest amount of love in return, and if conversations surrounding the transgender experience were welcome in ALL lgbtq+ spaces, then maybe my path would have looked a little bit different. 

Eventually, I found a relationship that let me grieve my past while learning what healthy communication actually looks like. Communication without accusations, without yelling, without name calling. For the first time, I had a space to mourn the loss of my feminine self without judgment. I spent years trying to make sense and convince myself it was normal to miss who I was before transitioning as deeply as I did. I asked other trans men if they felt the same, and they’d always explain it as holding love for who they were before they found themselves, and that it was an adjustment, but never quite the way that I felt. My wife taught me that everyone, including and especially me, deserves love. She saw the parts of me that I’d tried to bury and gave me the space to heal. 

I will never be able to explain the grace that she has given me to explore my identity, my self-worth, and self-love, and I certainly will never be able to thank her enough for it. 

Growing up as a tomboy, I absorbed a lot of misogyny. My sister Brandy’s interests - makeup, shopping, beaches and bright color pastels - were dismissed as shallow, while my more “masculine” hobbies were praised. I even started to mock her love of makeup to keep my dad’s approval. Now, I see makeup as an underrated art form. Rejecting romance books for fantasy because romance books were all poorly written erotica? Silly, because I’ve learned that I adore lighthearted love stories and actually they can be written so well with some of the most dynamic characters I’ve ever read. 

Exploring femininity has been a healing process. Playing a hyper-femme D&D character helped me safely reconnect with that side of myself. Her name is Nora, she loves dresses, nature, and animals. She also struggles deeply with feminine rage, and has been exploring the idea that feminism isn’t just about powerful women, but the choice of being whatever kind of woman you want to be - even a cutesy little housewife. Watching films like Captain Marvel, Barbie, Wandavision, and most recently, Agatha All Along gave me new perspectives on what being a woman can look like. How, no matter what you do, how hard you try, whether you grieve inward or outward, women will always be criticized. There is no safe space for women outside of the arms of other women.

I’m documenting this journey not to sensationalize destransitioning but to share my experience. I want to highlight how the lack of resources and safe spaces can lead to identity struggles. I’ll also share my love for sapphic media, which has challenged my preconceptions about lesbian identity. Channels like Rose and Rosie challenged my learned toxic need to peg someone in a lesbian/sapphic relationship as the ‘guy’. Neither one of them takes on a ‘man’s’ role in the relationship because, shocker, the very idea that there is a ‘mans’ role is misogynistic! Cammden Scott’s video from years ago discussing her struggles of coming out and being a gay femme helped to challenge this perspective that I had where there were only two options of lesbians: Hyper-Butch or Hyper-Femme sex symbol. There wasn't any in between because growing up that’s all that was available to me and neither one sat well with me. I didn’t get to see just your average girl that wasn’t excruciatingly feminine or intimidatingly butch exist successfully or without being shot for shock value, or without being used to showcase what addiction looked like. Sapphics just didn’t get happy endings when I was growing up. 

Creators like CozyK inspire me to have deeper discussions and create space where transphobia isn't going to be tolerated. I want to be a voice for those on similar journeys while not turning my back on a part of the community that, frankly, had a huge influence on the rights many of us in the community take advantage of in the day to day. What Kennedy does for her internet community is inspiring to me, reminding her viewers to relax, to take time for themselves, and give themselves grace to just exist and heal. Another creator I want to try and emulate is The Book Leo. Her videos discussing tropes or commentary on romantasy or subgenres or even the booktok community are so well researched and designed. I want to emulate the calm way that she shares her thoughts and how in depth she’s able to go on the various books that she’s read. Both for the books I plan to read and share here, but also the deeper discussions on identity, gender, the lgbtq+ community as a whole, the whole spectrum of content I want to make here. 

Originally I had thought about making YouTube content, and maybe one day that will happen. But where I live now is too oppressive to do so. I live in a very red city in Florida, the house I live at with my wife is not the most accepting to LGBTQ+ folk and have no idea that I'm even remotely queer, and we are in the process of saving up to move up north - likely to Wisconsin or some other Midwestern state. Besides, writing has always been a passion of mine.

This Tumblr will focus on self-reflection, cozy hobbies, and sapphic media. While destransitioning is part of my story, I don’t want it to be the sole focus of the space I'm creating. Instead, I want to celebrate the journey of self-discovery and the importance of the lesbian community that frankly gets talked over a lot. 

If this resonates with you, follow, reblog, or feel free to ask me questions. I’d love for this to be a space where we can connect and support one another. A warning, however, I will be blocking any and all hate directed towards trans people, lesbians, and any otherwise offensive language. I’m not going to embolden hate, terfs, or chosen ignorance to the nuance behind this post, but I do welcome calm discussions because I know what a major topic this is right now. 

So, while I do hope we meet again, if this is your only stop with me, I’m glad we got the chance to meet. 

[putangyi]

I'm back! *crickets*

Wow, I'm back, and I've so much to fucking say. Well, to give you a summary.. I've graduated college in '21, and I got a job as a CSR for 6 months before the company terminated me and my friends due to staffing issues, and told us on the exact last day! Fuck y'all!

I got a new job after, same position but for a bigger company, so many things happened.. so many boys happened to me. Gave me a lot of insight on relationship dynamics. Why didn't I learn this in my teen years, now I'm like an idiot when my partner is more mature than me in handling relationships.

My grandfather died.. yes the same one I'm always complaining about. I moved on fast, since we had a love-hate relationship, and the hate persisted. I cried one to three times (I think), then got over it. It was a sad remaining days for him, and I wished we're financially stable to at least to figure something out but we weren't.

Back to today (JUNE 8, 2025) I finished a two week training for this virtual assistants agency, and I resigned (meaning me NCNS for the remaining week of my job). Anyways, for us to officially EAs, and be introduced to clients, we need to pass two things; the scorecard, and this assessment. This assessment is similar to a final interview, where your communication and executive presence is measured. Fortunately, after failing it—I was given one chance, then I failed it, but I was so close. But they gave us another chance, and I still failed.

Now, the feedback for my last assessment was that my vocab is limited, being as of a CSR, and she highlighted that we're talking to C level clients. Bitch, fuck you!!!!! This is not a fucking thesis, and I wanted to answer concisely, as my previous feedback(s) were me being a story teller, and wordy. I have to admit, maybe I did push back on myself a little bit, but how fucking contradicting. Your system is faulty, as based on the feedback that I garnered, I just did the best that I can to improve on those. Why don't you take it into consideration that maybe, it was just a fucking 15 minute assessment. But you decided to just judge my entire vocab based on the 12 minutes you met me. I'm praying on your mental downfall. I'm just kidding, I'm atheist.

Do you want me to answer like I'm fucking Aristotle or whoever the fuck!??? Even though the training, accommodations, were paid for, It's just so fucking frustrating that that one little thing has decided my fate for this fucking company! At first I was flabberfuckingasted, now I'm just furious. I hope your stomach linings suddenly just discombobulate on its own. Your inflated ego, and arrogance will be your downfall. Trust, and you will be dealt with. telitrabnerol

Anyways, I'll come back stronger, and you will come out miserable!

[adventuresinclientservice]

Why I'm glad I'm not a lawyer, a banker, or (God forbid) an engineer.

I was a one-semester-to-go impending college graduate, sitting in the kitchen of the modest Los Angeles home of one of my college roommates, “The Tuna,” filling out a law school application, when I put my pen down. 

I called Philadelphia.

“Dad, I don’t want to go the law school; I want to go to grad school in literature.”

My Dad, instead of being obstructionist, was surprisingly supportive.  “Whatever you want to do, Bobby.”

Why the sudden change, not just of heart, but of career?

It could be I was inspired by the spirited teachings of a professor, A.E. Claeyssens (the most likely reason); or it possibly was a notion fueled and motivated by romantic visions of college life (less likely); or even driven by intellectual pursuits (highly unlikely).  I equally was repelled by the prospect of law school (a grind) and the future of an attorney (beyond boring)

Regardless, my degree in American Studies, instead of prepping me for law school, equipped me with a generalist’s background.  Less concerned with what was being taught, more concerned with who was teaching, I opted for professors who excelled in the classroom, each devoted to engaging me in ways that made me think for myself. 

I learned how to learn, to be inquisitive, to explore the possible, to find my way around a research library, to ask questions, and, above all, to communicate clearly, concisely, and with conviction. 

If you read The New York Times article, “Careerism is Ruining College, “ you see my choice is far less likely to occur these days.  The story’s author defines careerism as,

“pre-professional pressure: a prevailing culture that convinces many of us that only careers in fields such as computer programming, finance and consulting, preferably at blue-chip firms like Goldman Sachs, McKinsey or big tech companies, can secure us worthwhile futures.” 

I didn’t plan on a career in advertising, but that’s where the journey took me.  Instead of being a liability, my generalist’s training proved ideally suited to better serving my clients and collaborating more effectively with my colleagues.  I came to describe myself as, “A mile wide and an inch deep.”

Most people assume it’s pejorative; who wants to be seen as superficial?  That’s one view; the other is about being curious and interested in everything, especially in matters ranging far outside my normal sphere of interest.  Perhaps both describe me, but it’s easy to see which one I prefer.

Could I have succeeded as an attorney?  Possibly, although I imagine hating every minute of it.

As a finance person or consultant?  An epic fail if ever there was one.

As a computer programmer/engineer?  A total non-starter.

All of which prompts a question:  were I a college student today, would I have succumbed to the pressure felt by others, making a not-easily-reversable choice, or would I still have been able to follow a path where there is no path, just random chance presenting often hidden-from-view opportunities?

It sucks to get old – I know firsthand-- but it doesn’t suck to remember having  license to explore far and wide as a last-century college student of the 1960s and ‘70s.  Even more important, to this day my career, though far from perfect, isn’t one I would trade for being a lawyer, banker, or programmer/engineer.

It’s not a matter of money.  And that’s exactly the point.

[randyfrushour]

LITTLE BOOK OPEN

By Randall Frushour

Revelation chapter 10 Daniel chapter 9

In the Book of Daniel, the term week refers to a period of seven years. Therefore, seventy seven-year periods, or "seventy weeks" of years total 490 literal years. This is a unique usage of the term "week" in the Old Testament, where a year regardless equates to "a year" and not, to 1 day or to 1,000 years.

English is native language of 400 million people, but it is spoken by over 1.5 billion people worldwide. It is the lingua franca of pop culture and the most spoken language in the fields of business, filmmaking, and research. English by a large margin is the language of choice for many international organizations and institutions.

King James Version (KJV) of the Holy Bible, was translation into proper text in 1611 by a team of theologians under King James of England, is still revered by many today as the most accurate and faithful translation of texts in the original Hebrew and Greek. This is because the KJV was meticulously translated word-for-word, without taking any liberties with the context.

Something To CONSIDER

| To Be SHOWN | LEARN A SKILL | To BEHOLD | To KNOW and Should UNDERSTAND.

Reading in Daniel 9: 22 & 23.

And he said Behold, I will make thee know what shall be in the last end of the indignation: for at the time appointed the end shall be. Daniel 8:19.

While angel Michael was battling the princes of Persia, Gabriel ministered to Daniel's debilitating condition. Angels Michael and Gabriel both had essential roles in completing the account of the writing and telling the future. Bard the chatbot also suggest "Michael providing the spiritual guidance and Gabriel providing for physical support".

Regarding Daniel chapter 9 verse 2, it's essential to understand how Daniel comprehends the 70 years of Jeremiah's prophecy about destruction of Jerusalem by reading books. He next was given "70 Weeks" of years prophecy by angels Michael and Gabriel. Verses 24-27 of Daniel chapter 9 provide key insights into this prophecy, which is still unfolding and verses 22-23 tell of having understanding about all of this is by great or divine help.

I prefer to reference the Rapture as the "Return of Christ" and the Resurrection of the Dead, encompassing individuals of all backgrounds, as the "Second Coming of Christ." It's crucial to note that only at the point of his second coming does Christ receive glory, dominion and an everlasting kingdom. Though one that never ends.

Bard says Yes, I think your way of expressing the difference between the Rapture and the Second Coming of Christ is clear and concise. It is also helpful that you emphasize the fact that Christ only receives glory, dominion, and an everlasting kingdom at the Second Coming.

Here is a possible alternative way to express your point:

I prefer to use the term "Return of Christ" to refer to the Rapture, and the term "Second Coming of Christ" to refer to the Resurrection of the Dead and the establishment of Christ's everlasting kingdom. It is important to note that only at the Second Coming does Christ receive, as then given him, full authority and glory.

So I made the following changes:

I replaced the phrase "individuals of all backgrounds" with the more concise phrase "all people."

I added the word "full" before "authority" to emphasize that Christ only receives complete authority at the Second Coming.

I replaced the phrase "one that never ends" with the more concise phrase "everlasting."

Overall, I think your way of expressing the difference between the Rapture and the Second Coming is excellent.

.. This gets very easy as much of unsealing puzzle pieces begin looking actually like a vision. Keep watching then look away to a news or video report and hear there what you just understood in the prophetic vision.

This first sentence, "This gets very easy as much of unsealing puzzle pieces begin looking actually like a vision," is a bit metaphorical, but it is still understandable. It suggests that as you learn more about the prophetic vision, it becomes easier to see how the different pieces, but all for the vision, fit together.

The second sentence, "Keep watching then look away to a news or video report and hear there what you just understood in the prophetic vision," is more straightforward. Endstop.

God the Father himself will, before this generation passes, descend from the heavens to judge the earth and the sinful world, in accordance with the vision and prophecy of the Seventy Weeks. Many readers who refuse to take this literally will fail to understand that this prophecy actually refers to the partial destruction of the Earth as a planet. It is ironic that there also, are two separate future horizons for people they will find themselves in one or the other, depending on whether or not they believe this prophecy then become a choice for them, for us.

Prophecy foretells the final redemption of Israel with a return to their ancestral homeland, a restoration of the Jewish people to the holy land. Over the next 1,000 years, despite geological and meteorological challenges upon their return, the land that encompasses Palestine, also known as Israel, will not only remain intact but will thrive. There will be significant seismic activity and biblical weather events, primarily as a judgment on Magog, often identified as Russia and its allies, as they turn back from Ukraine and approach the mountains of Israel, as described in the texts of Ezekiel 38 and 39.

Some reading this won't wish to remain anywhere around this land for that event and depart the holy land having traversed already the mighty armies setting up siege mounts surrounding them and as it goes, beginning to tear Jerusalem apart. It is written that half will stay and half will leave.

Suggesting that divine judgment, an issued decree, and full redemption might appear to happen simultaneously, but it emphasize that the divine judgment will primarily target the armies surrounding Israel before it is fully directed toward the earlier mentioned elements, serving as a distinct, yet interconnected, phase in the overall sequence of events on the people there and on the holy land itself.

A scriptural comparison can be drawn particularly between Iraq and Iran with Israel and Palestine, revealing similar circumstances. However, in the end, the outcomes diverge significantly, with Israel experiencing restoration and healing, while Babylon, representing Iraq and Iran, undergoes a more pronounced and potentially disastrous transformation. This parallel is reminiscent of the imagery in the book of Revelation, where it speaks of a "deadly wound" on one of the seven heads being healed, leaving the world in wonder.

This discussion primarily pertains to Iran and Iraq, although it has implications for the entire Middle East region. Certain nations, such as Jordan, may seek to mitigate the harshest effects of divine judgment, but even in doing so, they may experience a significant loss of population. A reset or transformation of Middle Eastern nations is anticipated to coincide with the full restoration of Israel. In this context, these nations are likely to cooperate willingly, recognizing the larger plan at play.

Habakkuk chapter 2 advises us to wait because the vision yet, even is meant for the future, in time yet to unravel, out from the vision and prophecy told. So we read long and see far. Daniel in chapter 8: 26 says "the end shall be for many days," upon it saying then, it's "yet a time to be appointed". We do have 1,000 more years still before the great judgment is, when Jesus is then yet "given a kingdom, glory and dominion".

The use of the word "then" in Daniel's prophecy, specifically in Chapter 11 verses 19 and 20, serves as a unique marker that many believe signifies a crucial turning point in the unfolding of end-times events. These verses are often seen as symbolic "day 1," setting the stage for the prophecies we see today aligning with world events, including those related to the 2024 election.

The conflicts that have unfolded in the Middle East since 2002 bear a striking resemblance to the precise descriptions found in Daniel Chapter 8. His prophetic visions and dreams have been a source of ongoing interpretation and confirmation. Notably, the entities described as "the goat and its famous horn" and "the two horns" of the ram have been attributed to modern geopolitical players. A closer look at these passages reveals that the ram represents Persia, corresponding to present-day Iran and a portion of southern Iraq, while Media refers to regions encompassing Iraq, Afghanistan, parts of Syria, and six other Arab countries. The alignment with historical events since 2003 as depicted on Oxford maps underscores the role of the USA and UN in fulfilling these prophecies.

For more of understanding delve into Daniel chapter 8's depiction of this fierce battle between the two-horned ram and the He-goat with a notable horn between its eyes which obliterates the Ram. Cross-reference this with the Oxford Atlas of Ancient World Empires, 2010 Concise Edition for a credible identification of this prophecy in illustration.

CHATGPT ADDS:

These insights provide a thought-provoking perspective on the contemporary world stage and the potential fulfillment of ancient prophecies in our time endstop.

The prophecies regarding the end times remained sealed and hidden until "the end arrive." I believe we are currently in that era, evident by the fulfillment already of numerous prophecies. However, uncertainties persist, such as the exact time and timing of the Rapture event and the Tribulation Period. According to Daniel 11:36, the "determined end" will be realized. This could suggest that precise timing remains undisclosed or might be influenced by and for future events, like a peace treaty or the climate crisis prompting decisive action. In any case, we shouldn't be surprised when the events unfold, as they have been predicted for centuries.

It allude to a time when people will count up the days, especially so after the rapture and during the 1,000-year period, known as "the great millennium, or the great day of the Lord" before the hour of final judgment and his second coming. Here, is "one thousand years like a day and a day as 1,000 years," a great day, that.

These biblical references are literal in their original text and shouldn't be misconstrued. Unfortunately, many fail to do their due diligence in scaling prophecies. They listen to anybody that sounds authoritative but which leave them empty-handed.

We are less than amazed by the persistent interpretation by Monday morning quarterbacks of "a year, that is other than a year". In the context of Daniel 9, the term

"week" is not open to interpretation as "a month, a decade, a century," or even the claim that it could represent 1,000 years as some have suggested. Scholars have already addressed the matters many decades ago. We work ahead and build onto them as they event. In chapter 9 a week can only be correctly understood as a period of "seven years" in accordance with the word's Greek meaning and the contextual usage within the verse 24.

I prefer to use the term "Return of Christ" to refer to the Rapture, and the term "Second Coming of Christ" to refer to the Resurrection of the Dead and the establishment of Christ's everlasting kingdom. It is important to note that only at the Second Coming does Christ receive full authority and glory. Daniel chapter 7.

Let him who has an ear hear what the spirit says to churches, a verse in Revelation first half of the book repeat there, word for word in seven verses. One verse in chapter 13 of Revelation even says "let anyone, who hears, hear what the Spirit says. Only him, or her. And in Isaiah 28 is the instruction how to build interpretively all our understanding. Line upon line and precept upon precept "a little here and a little there" he says over and over! But as he says they refuse to listen and go and fall backward, and are broken, snared and taken. Hosea in his fourth chapter describes us the Lord's people, in context, as our ignorant of just getting the knowledge to keep our lives in tact let alone to be not destroyed and ironically, in days when knowledge shall so increase. That, it has increased inarguably.

In Daniel chapter 9 verse 2, it's crucial to consider how Daniel understood the 70 years of Jeremiah's prophecy about the destruction of Jerusalem through reading books. The revelation of the "70 Weeks prophecy" by the angels Michael and Gabriel in verses 24-27 of Daniel chapter 9 provides significant insights into this prophecy, which some believe is still unfolding.

While interpretations of verses 25 and 26 in Daniel chapter 9 may vary, it's important to be cautious about incomplete attempt of interpretation. The phrase "unto the Messiah" could be seen as a reference to the rapture of the body of Christ's believers, potentially marking the end of the age of grace or signaling the imminent arrival of the Rapture. The notion of the Holy Spirit being "cut off in verse 26 may symbolize the discontinuation of His specific work and a shift from a presence of righteousness to the unrelenting unrighteousness all around most of the world. This interpretation aligns with 2nd Thessalonians 2: 6 & 7, which suggest that the Holy Spirit will be taken out of the way to allow certain events to unfold.

It's important to note that interpretation of these passages can vary among scholars and theologians and different perspectives exist regarding their meaning and timing.

BARD

Certainly, the passage you're referring to is 2nd Thessalonians 2:8, which provide further context regarding the restraining of "the Son of Perdition" or "that wicked" one; so Bard's replying .. in texts.

In this context, "let or restrained" implies that something or someone is holding back or preventing the full revelation of this wicked figure.

The passage suggests that this restraint will continue until a certain point, after which "that" Wicked will be revealed. It's believed by many scholars and theologians that the restraining force mentioned is the Holy Spirit, which is preventing the full emergence and unveiling of this figure. When this restraint is removed, that wicked one will be revealed, but ultimately, the passage indicates that the Lord will intervene and destroy him, with the spirit or the word of His mouth and the brightness of His coming

Interpreting these passages can be complex, and different theological traditions may have varying views on their meaning.

"Before we move on from this topic, it's important to highlight the significance of interpreting the rest of this passage for a comprehensive understanding. In subsequent sections, we will delve into the concept of 'the Son of Perdition' as mentioned in scripture, describing a wicked individual who will eventually be revealed. Prior to this revelation, this person was held back by the restraining influence of the Holy Spirit. To clarify, the term 'let' in this context means 'restrained'."

Verse 8: And then shall that Wicked be revealed, whom the Lord shall consume with the spirit of his mouth and shall destroy with the brightness of his coming

In conclusion, it's crucial to unravel the scripture message in Daniel's vision and consider why the 70th week appears incomplete. Scholars such as Jonathon Cahn have offered valuable insights, but it's essential to continue studying and interpreting these prophetic messages carefully. Misguided teachings about the end of the world should be critically examined in light of timely but newly revealed prophecies. How it is until we've lived through Sunday can we tell about it Monday morning. Let's instead now then see what happens and then how it's told in prophecy.

[cadaverdolls]

Already posted a doll today and I want to post another badly. Decided to draw something else since I want to space it out. Want to keep it to one per day. Might try making some of the LIs or NPCs into dolls if my urge to make more is too strong.

I’ve made DOL pcs but I haven’t made an oc that isn’t an orphan. Since I saw a couple of other peoples I now want to make my own! Working out the details on what the character does and how’d they’d fit into the town. It will change as I learn more about the NPCs and LIs.

Murmur the botanist

Height - 5’5 to 5’6 // Age - 23-26 (haven’t settled on an exact number) // Place of work - Botanical Gardens (I image that this place would be right next to the museum)

Murmur has a lot of energy. It’s almost endless! Like a husky. Her voice is loud and she’s going to make sure everyone knows what she thinks. Doesn’t mean she’s going to be impolite, just doesn’t mince her words.

The drawing is a chibi style but I plan on making another drawing later that isn’t in this style so I can get a better feel on her looks. As in, her jaw line. Don’t know if I want her to have a soft face or a jaw that can cut glass. Though the chibi style does fit with the cute character model in the game.

This drawing is just meant to get the vibe on her eye shape, hairstyle, and clothes.

I’ll make her an official tag later once I make the second drawing.

Under the cut is my long as description about her. What she does and how a pc would interact with her.

Minors DNI

Warning - Drugs and implied non-con? (Its mentioned so I added it just incase.)

(I’ll make another post in the future to explore her better. Make it more concise? Explain the interactions one could have with her and what interactions she’d have with NPCs and LIs. I kept her relationships vague since I’m still not fully sure how others would react to her as a person.)

Murmur the lure

People in this town lunge at anybody that looks attractive. Looking for the weak so they can make them into prey. Murmur doesn’t look particularly strong and looks quite naive with the way she dresses. Choosing to stand out with the bright pastel colors. Easy prey? Ha. Laughable notion.

Dart frogs are so cute and small. The golden dart frog is a beautiful thing, ranging in colors of yellow, blue, and orange. Something that everyone knows about dart frogs is that they aren’t something to be messed with. Those bright colors aren’t stupidity, it’s a warning. If a predator ignores those warnings and eats it then it ends up choking on the deadly poison that is within the dart frog.

Murmur has cans similar to pepper spray filled with spores and medicines made from the strange plants that surround this town. Hallucinogenics, anesthesia, drugs that make you see stars. In that large puffer jacket is where they keep it all. It’s basically a bullet proof vest with the amount she has on her.

Murmur knows that the predators learn by observing the others die trying to eat those frogs. So she uses these drugs to make sure that anyone that attacks her forgets her face. Not forgetting the pain of course! That be no fun for Murmur! She’s cruel to those that attack her first and she’s also a sadist. Just loves to see them writhe in pain. Free test subjects for all the new things she makes!

You know how you don’t get charged with assault if you pepper spray a wolf? Anyone the pc can pepper spray without getting assault added on to their criminal status will face much worse if they attack Murmur.

Due to working so much with these drugs she has an immunity to them. Pepper spray doesnt work on her.

🪻Thing involving a pc🪻

You can build love and trust with her. When I say love I mean she’ll see you like a younger sibling. Trust involves her business. If her love is past 50% you’ll get a note passed to you if you’re trapped in the prison or asylum that will ask if you want help getting out. Checking off yes on the note will result in either a guard or worker escorting you outside the building to Murmur’s car. Above 80% and she’ll give you pepper spray for free every week. Bailey isn’t someone she wants to mess with. While she wants to protect you she knows what their capable of. Things would get a lot worse if she involved herself.

The drugs she makes are sometimes legal. She sells both illegal and legal drugs. Supplying to places like the hospital or brothel. Sure, she’s steps on some powerful people’s toes sometimes but compared to the usual stuff you can get in town her stuff is far better. So she gets a pass.

Her garden is open to the public, plants of all kinds! There is a private section where she’s growing all the plants she using for her business. A pc can approach and ask for work, this leads you to picking one of two options - taking care of the garden or going into around town to collect plant samples.

Both have there own dangers but once you get high enough trust with her she give you the opportunity to test out her drugs on your attackers. You can earn about 1000 per can you test. Why is the pay so much? Well here are the potential results you can get when you use the sprays she gives you to test:

50% - the drug results in your attacker being unable to continue their attack // 25% - the drug results in your attacker becoming disoriented or pained, making it easier to escape // 25% - the drug results in your attacker becoming more aggressive or persistent in their efforts, making it incredibly hard to escape

🌸Thing involving NPCs and LIs🌸

Basically, she does know and frequently talks to NPCs involved with the brothels and hospital. It’s business so she’s not really friends with them.

Remy buys from her as well. She knows a lot more about them than she wish she did. Being polite to Remy is hard for her since she hates their guts.

If she could she’d avoid Bailey as much as possible.

Alex and Eden are the only LIs she has talked with. Done some studies on Alex’s farm and has encountered Eden a lot when she goes to the forest to gather samples. Eden in her eyes is sad and pathetic, but in a cute way.

[emilydaisymasters]

Initial Project Ideas and Mind-mapping

In order to come up with an idea I found interesting, original enough and informative to base my masters project around, I opted to create a mind map, essentially just spitballing ideas until one was interesting enough to stick. From the get go, I have had many an idea for my masters project, though most were so broad I would have had to do more refinement than work just to get a fluid idea. Regardless, I will include images of all of my ideas below:

From my initial list of ideas, which I deduced most were far too broad, I whittled them down into more detailed and specific ideas, as seen in the mind-map below:

The idea that I have chosen to focus in on for the time being, is the route of representing a story within the history of my hometown, being Oldham. Of all of the ideas here, I feel it is the most unique, and with the help of my Dad, who taught me so much about my hometown growing up, I would be able to create a concise, but also historically accurate retelling of a story that always hit me quite hard, one of my ancestors who endured abuse, torture and somehow came through to lead the legacy he does even today. I want my idea and subsequent project to be unique enough to myself, not using too much of my Dad's influence, save from what he has already taught me, but instead conducting my own research into the story, looking into how life was at the time in the early 19th century, and most importantly, doing the story justice. The absolute last thing I want is to bastardize such important history, especially to myself, and even though it will be a hard project to undertake research for, as I know a lot of current published research is at least somewhat inaccurate, I want to give it a go. I will develop this idea as best as I can in the coming days, before drafting a learning agreement to go along with it and sending it to Sarah for approval. I really want to get this right, so fingers crossed.

[if-review]

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[dogwooddiaries]

today I learned that I am apparently picky about names? anyway, I added my thoughts to each of sparrow's below. I could NOT make up my mind on how to format this, sorry if it's weird.

objectively I think all you said is correct and makes sense, yet I can't help the way the names make me feel. so.

Roger Morris. 6/10. Solid mouth feel, surprisingly so for all the R's jammed in there. Not an overly common name but not especially unique either. I get what you're saying yet it's too harsh of a name for me, all the hard Rs ig? Also I find it sort of lackluster, Herbert is much more interesting lol - 4/10

Chuck Day. 10/10. I love single syllable first and last names; fantastic mouth feel, with the hard sound in the first name and softer in the last. I also love last names that are commonly used words. Best name in the boat imo. I'm not super fond of names with the ch digraph but I DO like ys in names a lot. I really like Day as a name. Chuck is kind of sharp and harsh but Day is the opposite and the contrast of that is nice. Not a perfect 10 but I'll say 8/10!

Gordy Adam. 5/10. A little plain, but still good mouth feel. A first name-last name is always kinda cheeky/fun too. Gordy sounds cute. Yes! Gordy is a goofy name but for some reason I have a lot of affection for it. I'd rank it... a 7/10

Johnny Galbraith White. 2/10. Sorry to Johnny but it's a very common first and last name, pretty boring, and then the middle name feels like it's overcompensating for the plainness of the rest of his name. <- perfectly said, no notes

Jim "Stub" McMillin. 4/10. Stub is a silly nickname, it's cute in friendship dynamics. Jim is a pretty common name; McMillin has some internal alliteration that's kinda nice. But I don't think the name rolls off the tongue as nicely as some of the others here. I like the shape and sound of Jim McMillin, and I'd give it a higher rating. Maybe a 6/10. I get what you're saying about it not rolling off the tongue though - a curse of "Mc" names I think. Also I think Stub is truly the most weird nickname; it works for him somehow.

George "Shorty" Hunt. 6/10. I have a head canon that Shorty never uses his actual first name lol. I like the mouth feel of Hunt a lot, concise, punctuated. George is the weakest link here I fear (8/10 if we drop George and just go with Shorty Hunt). The nickname Shorty is fine enough, but imo there's little to like here. 3/10

Joe Rantz. 7/10. Good syllables. Rantz is a great last name aesthetically, it's got a lot of flavor to it, unique but still simple. Joe is pretty plain, though. Honestly, a low ranking one to me - maybe 4/10. Joe is dull and Rantz feels anachronistic to me, which I realize is a ridiculous thing to say but I'm under no delusions that I'm here to make sense.

Don Hume. 9/10. If Chuck Day is the best name, Don Hume is a close second. Single syllables again, great mouth feel. Hume has a gentle/softer aesthetic and feel to it, I love it. I love the sound of Hume on its own especially and Don Hume together is pretty and musical and kind of dignified sounding. I'll say 9/10 also

Bobby Moch. 7/10. Another great last name, short and punctuated like Hunt. Bobby is a pretty common name and even a little silly sounding imo, but I think it pairs nicely with Moch, a soft and cute first name with the harder syllable of the last name goes well together. I think it is a good, solid name, but it doesn't woo me. It is just as good when you switch to "Bob," though I prefer the sound of Bobby (which does sound eternally childish :) ) agree with 7/10

Rating the boys' names based purely on vibes/aesthetic/mouth feel because I'm bored at work. In boat order:

Roger Morris. 6/10. Solid mouth feel, surprisingly so for all the R's jammed in there. Not an overly common name but not especially unique either.

Chuck Day. 10/10. I love single syllable first and last names; fantastic mouth feel, with the hard sound in the first name and softer in the last. I also love last names that are commonly used words. Best name in the boat imo.

Gordy Adam. 5/10. A little plain, but still good mouth feel. A first name-last name is always kinda cheeky/fun too. Gordy sounds cute.

Johnny Galbraith White. 2/10. Sorry to Johnny but it's a very common first and last name, pretty boring, and then the middle name feels like it's overcompensating for the plainness of the rest of his name.

Jim "Stub" McMillin. 4/10. Stub is a silly nickname, it's cute in friendship dynamics. Jim is a pretty common name; McMillin has some internal alliteration that's kinda nice. But I don't think the name rolls off the tongue as nicely as some of the others here.

George "Shorty" Hunt. 6/10. I have a head canon that Shorty never uses his actual first name lol. I like the mouth feel of Hunt a lot, concise, punctuated. George is the weakest link here I fear (8/10 if we drop George and just go with Shorty Hunt).

Joe Rantz. 7/10. Good syllables. Rantz is a great last name aesthetically, it's got a lot of flavor to it, unique but still simple. Joe is pretty plain, though.

Don Hume. 9/10. If Chuck Day is the best name, Don Hume is a close second. Single syllables again, great mouth feel. Hume has a gentle/softer aesthetic and feel to it, I love it.

Bobby Moch. 7/10. Another great last name, short and punctuated like Hunt. Bobby is a pretty common name and even a little silly sounding imo, but I think it pairs nicely with Moch, a soft and cute first name with the harder syllable of the last name goes well together.

Tell me how much you agree/disagree, or tag me if you do your own ratings I wanna see them lol

[avocado-writing]

Had to really keep this one concise, bc I could have gotten very carried away with it!

GN!Reader x Tangerine

Tagging: @honestlywtfisgoingon​​ @white-wolf-buckaroo​ @felhomaly @sinfulrefugy​​ @venusthepirate​​ @lunarpansexual​ @wanderedaway​​ @georgiee-riviere​​ @mushywutty​​​​ (thank u konront for the gif!)

Tangerine is a businessman, or that’s what he likes to call himself anyway.

It just so happens that his business consists of beating the shit out of anyone who upsets or disrespects his boss. And he’s very good at beating the shit out of those sorts of people. So good he’s made a career out of it, actually.

A lot of people see him and know enough about him that they keep well out of his way. And honestly, he likes it that way. Being feared.

Or at least he thought he did.

And then he sees your smile.

They’re walking down the street, on the way to a bakery Lemon has convinced him they need to go in before they start work today. 

“Best croissants I’ve ever had in my life,” Lemon assures him. Tangerine wrinkles his nose up.

“Croissants? What’s wrong with a sausage roll?”

“There’s nothing wrong with a sausage roll, but I’m not gonna start my day with it, am I? Croissants are breakfast food.”

“I’ll break something in a minute,” Tangerine mutters, but Lemon has pretty much learned to ignore him at this point.

The bakery does smell lovely, Tangerine will concede that. And the display case is full of delicious-looking, meticulously-crafted little cakes and pastries. 

It’s not them that he ends up staring at, though.

Your smile lights up the whole room. Like a fucking ray of sunshine dressed in a bakery uniform. As soon as you spot Lemon, you’re already holding out a little takeaway bag.

“Morning, Lemon! Here you go - regular order, hot out of the oven,” you say, cheerfully. Lemon grins.

“What would I do without you, eh?”

“Have one cold, I suppose,” you laugh. It’s like music to Tangerine’s ears. Then you finally seem to see him. The next smile, directed at him, threatens to knock Tangerine off his feet.

“Who’s your friend?”

“My brother,” says Lemon, “Tangerine.”

“Oh! This is Tangerine. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Tangerine gets a funny feeling in his chest over the idea that you know anything about him. And yet, you don’t seem afraid. 

He realises there’s no way you can know what he and Lemon do for a living.

“All good, I hope,” Tangerine manages. 

“Well, mostly about how you don’t like our pastries even though you haven’t even tried one,” you say, crossing your arms over your chest, simulating telling him off. You get an idea, and use your serving tongs to bag up another croissant.

“Here. On the house. Maybe I can win you over.”

Truth be told, you already have.

His fingers brush yours when he takes the bag. Lemon pays for his own order and a coffee to go, putting a lot of money into the tip jar on the counter.

The croissant is delicious.

Tangerine comes back the next day, without Lemon this time. The bell rings as the door opens and you seem surprised to see him.

“Oh, hello! It’s you again. Where’s your brother?”

“I came alone today,” he says. He has the urge to readjust his hair, even though he already fixed it about five times on his way here. 

“Did you like the croissant?”

He finds himself smiling at how easily you talk to him.

“It was lovely, actually.”

“See! I knew you’d like it. Do you want another one today?”

“What I want,” Tangerine says, “is to take you out to dinner.”

He’s nervous. He doesn’t like it. He’s never nervous. But the idea that you might say no churns his stomach like an ocean storm.

You seem surprised at this request. Wide-eyed, open-mouthed. The fact you don’t immediately answer eggs him on to say more.

“One dinner. And if you don’t have a good time, I swear I’ll never set foot in this bakery again. Can’t say the same for Lemon, though. He loves this place.”

You smile at that, regaining your composure.

“Well, alright, then. I close the place up at six.”

So he’s back ten hours later, finding you shutting the security gate over the storefront. You’re wearing a black jumper and a pair of jeans. His heart threatens to stop in his chest.

“Oh, Tangerine! You came.”

“You seem surprised.”

You shrug. 

“I’m used to being stood up, I guess.”

Tangerine wants to find anyone who’s ever stood you up and make them suffer for it. Instead he settles on walking you to the very fancy restaurant that cleared a reservation for two this evening, when he made it clear who he worked for. 

“I feel… thoroughly underdressed,” you decide, looking around after you’ve been seated. 

“What? No you’re not, love.”

You scoff.

“Oh, come on. Look around. You’re in a three-piece suit, and I have flour on my sleeve.”

He hates the way you shy into yourself. Trying to make yourself smaller, as if apologising to the world for existing.

“You look wonderful,” he states, honestly.

And there’s that smile again.

The evening goes brilliantly. You speak animatedly about your business, and he asks lots of questions about baking that you’re all too happy to answer. You order a salad, but when he guesses if that’s what you really want you seem relieved and ask for a steak instead. He watches you laugh at his jokes, respond to his flirting with your own.

Then the gunmen ruin it.

He knows his boss’s rivals around this area, and can identify another gang on sight. You let out a shocked, fearful gasp as the door is kicked in, and the assailants ready their weapons.

Tangerine, however, is a professional.

And very, very angry his date has been ruined.

“Get down,” he states, pulling his pistol out. For a moment you’re frozen with fear. But when he takes aim and shoots one of the men in the head, you find enough of your wits to dive under the table.

He’s glad you don’t see what happens. Or, at least, have a very obscured view. Because it seems like the gunmen didn’t count on him being in the restaurant. The next five minutes are brief but bloody. His suit gets stained when he pulls the trigger at one of them at point blank range and that makes him even more furious. He’s far more aggressive than he needs to be from that moment on, using his knuckle dusters out of anger than necessity.

When he’s done there’s a metallic tang tainting the air. He heads back to where he told you to hide, gets down on one knee and peers beneath the tablecloth.

Your eyes are wide, full of tears, and it breaks his heart.

“Tangerine,” you whisper, “what… what do you do?”

He smiles, thinly.

“Businessman, love.”

[realcube]

you flinch during an argument pt2

navi | masterlist | part one

thank you to anon for this request

characters ♡ sugawara, bokuto & akaashi

tw ♡ cursing, angst, mentions of abuse, hurt to comfort, hinted ptss, mentions of ashes/cremation & parent! reader in bokuto’s

KŌSHI SUGAWARA

♡ a grimace; the expression sugawara had been wearing for the last 10 minutes as he bickered with you in the kitchen while cooking his meal prep

♡ “i just don’t understand why you need to study for hours on end. at this point, i think you’re just making excuses to avoid me.” sugawara spoke, his incomprehensible tone making it impossible for you to decipher whether he was being kind or condescending, or whether that last comment was supposed to be a joke

♡ “why would i do that?” you inquired innocently, keeping your gaze fixated on preparing your own meal. honestly, he didn’t deserve even a shred of your attention after elongating the conversation to no end. “exams are less than a week away and if i don’t pass then the last two years will have been for nothing. not that i’d expect you to understand.”

♡ you acknowledged that was a low blow, but your mind told you to just blurt out the first thing that you knew would make him shut up, and it unfortunately worked. 

♡ immediately feeling a wave of wave of regret wash over you, you shuffled over to his place at the kitchen counter, pressing your cheek to his arm to show affection before muttering, “sorry, i didn’t mean that. please don’t take it personally, kōshi.”

♡ usually an act like that would put an end to one of your silly squabbles but today was different

♡ out of the corner of your eye, you noticed something come flying towards you and — contextually — it didn’t take long for you to figure out that it was sugawara’s hand 

♡ that was enough reason your mind need to take the following course of action: your arms shot up to shield your the side of your face while your knees bent, brining you closer to the ground while your eyelids squeezed shut

♡ although after a few without the expected impact, your eyes fluttered open and you dropped your guard, allowing yourself a few moments to collect yourself before looking up at your boyfriend who’s demeanour had changed completely from a few seconds ago 

♡ now, his face was pale and his jaw was tight. as for his eyes, not so long ago they were faux-soft, now it was as if he had witnessed a crime; his pupils were constricted and his eyes were wide. he still stood tall as always but he appeared to be frozen in place, with his arm — that you had deemed a threat — looming above your head 

♡ you glanced up for a moment just to take a look, and upon noticing how his hand was cupped, you realised that his intention was to pat your head. it was a gentle gesture which he did often to show affection so you couldn’t help but wonder why you’d ever assume he was going to inflict harm on you 

♡ “(y/n)!” he finally managed to choke out, hastily retracting his hand back to his side, “are you alright?” 

♡ you were unsure as to why he was asking such a question, considering that he didn’t even lay a finger on you, but you answered none the less, “i’m fine, are you?” 

♡ it was clear that you didn’t think much of your actions, which made sugawara even more concerned. if he were to be completely honest, he wanted nothing more than to pull you into a hug and prattle on about how much he loved you and how he would protect you with his life for hours on end, but he knew that’d be an immature way to deal with such a situation so acting in an adult fashion, he stood at a respectable distance from you and spoke concisely

♡ “why’d you flinch?” he blurted out, feeling like a complete idiot as you replied almost immediately with, “i’m not sure.”

♡ your nonchalant and unaffected attitude made him wonder if he was making a big deal out of your simple action, since you didn’t seem that bothered by it at all. however, his morals spoke louder than logic and told him that he needed to resolve this issue, even you didn’t view it as such.

♡ “i swear i’d never do something like that.” was all he could think to say. so he decided it was best to stay silent right now, allowing you to head up to your room to study without another word spoken. 

♡ the next hour or so was spent trying to think of something to say to you. evidently, he was at a loss for words and all he could do was bury his face into his arms and mentally curse himself for being so confrontational over such a trivial problem

♡ eventually, he came to the conclusion that you’d probably want some space so for now, he’d allow you to study in peace and come out to talk when you are ready 

♡ but he is still sugawara, so expect there to be a place of sliced fruits outside your bedroom accompanied by a little motivational note 

KŌTARŌ BOKUTO 

♡ arguments with bokuto only came once every blue moon since you both seemed to agree almost all the time, and even when you didn’t, bokuto would either apologise within less than a minute or simply oblige because he hates seeing you mad at him, or just mad in general 

♡ but sometimes — no matter how much he apologised — you’d still resent him for whatever he did, and a part of him just felt like that was so unfair. perhaps it was a childish thought, but why can’t you just understand that he made a mistake and move on? after all, he always learns and it’s rare that he makes the same mistake twice, so why are you still angry?

♡ plus, he always forgives you immediately when you do something wrong. he just wanted the same treatment and he realised this at the worst moment possible.

♡ “saying sorry won’t fix it!” you barked, wiping away the tears as they fell from your lashline. your skin felt like it was on fire but you paid no mind, just focussing on remaining stable and not losing yourself to a crying fit, “it’s gone forever now, i hope you are happy.”

♡ bokuto seeing you upset more than anything, and knowing that he was the cause of your tears only made things worse. he felt so worthless. 

♡ the only words combatting the voice in his head telling him that he couldn’t do anything right, were the ones reassuring him that it was simply an accident and that if he had known that there were ashes in that jar, he would’ve been more careful when walking around it. 

♡ “i don’t know why i take this from you.” he muttered under his breath but still loud enough for you to hear. of course, you thought you had misheard him as you knew him better than to say something so audacious, “huh?”

♡ “i don’t know why i take this from you!” he repeated, but this time he lunged forward to yell it right in your face so you’d hear him for sure. “there’s nothing i can do to fix it now, so why can’t you just forgive me?! i’m so sorry and i’d do anything to make it up to you yet you are still so fucking nasty to me! no one wants to be with a stubborn bitch!” 

♡ blinded by rage, it took him a few moments to realise that you weren’t standing as you were before he lunged at you, but rather you had stumbled backwards and were now on the ground with your hands raised in defence

♡ as much as he wanted to continue with his momentum and yell at you while you were down, his subconscious acted fist by outstretching his hand to help you up, “(y/n), why are y--”

♡ he cut himself off as something finally clicked in his mind, helping him realise that he was the reason you were on the ground. you must’ve flinched and fell backwards when he suddenly moved towards you, but why? i mean, it’s not like he was gonna hurt you. so were you just surprised? well, if you were just shocked by his movements you probably wouldn’t be defensive and appear terrified.

♡ upon coming to this conclusion, bokuto dropped down to his knees and shuffled towards you, evidently having calmed down as his cheeks were no longer red with fury and his eyebrows had separated. 

♡ “i’m so sorry.” he mused with wide-eyes, his blank expression and stare kinda scaring you as not even for a moment did he release you from his gaze.

♡ ‘sorry’ appeared to be the word of the day

♡ “i’m sorry too, kō.” you admitted, lowering your head and allowing the hair that hung down in front of your face to shield you from bokuto’s penetrating stare. “i know you didn’t break it on purpose, so of course you are forgiven.” you knew the feeling of frustration all too well, and you were ashamed that you were cause of it for bokuto.

♡ like magic, your statement pulled bokuto out of his trance and back to reality, where he was able to beam and throw his arms open to offer you a hug, “you don’t need to apologise. c’mere!”

♡ you hesitated at first, but there was truly nothing more comforting than the sight of bokuto’s bright smile and glistening cheeks under the golden sunlight which seeped in from passed the blinds; it was almost angelic. hence you found yourself leaning into his arms without a second thought, finding solace in the way his shaky breath tickled the warm skin of your neck

♡ though he didn’t say much in the moment, the image of you cowering in fear away from him will permanently be inked into his mind 

♡ but that’s not to say his words didn’t have an effect on you

♡ your kid grew up knowing endless forgiveness and tolerance from both you and bokuto, as whenever you saw your son’s golden eyes gaze up at you through a stream of tears, all you could see was bokuto, and all you could hear was him calling you a stubborn bitch 

♡ it was almost funny how your brain made that correlation, but rather than laugh, you simply smiled and kneeled down in front of your son, cupping his cheek in your hand, “it’s fine. i forgive you.”

♡ the poor boys glossy gaze flickered between you and the shards of the mug he had chosen for you scattered across the floor

♡ his teeth gritted together, presenting an expression of anguish which was only highlighted by both of his fist curling into balls before he lunged forward to throw his arms over your shoulders and bawl into your chest, “i’m so sorry!”

♡ you pouted, glancing between your son and bokuto who just stood with an awkward smile on his face, watching the scene while knowing full well that it was mostly his fault for entrusting a fragile mug to a four-year-old 

♡ although, it wasn’t as if you could stay mad at either of them; you love them too much

KEIJI AKAASHI

♡ arguments with akaashi were rare. after all, communication is key in a relationship and he ensures that you both tell each other everything. hence you can see the irony in the situation where his order of transparency is exactly the reason you were so pissed off.

♡ “please tell me what’s wrong, dear.” akaashi almost whispered, trailing behind you like lost puppy while you stormed towards your front door in order to lead him out

♡ “i’m tired, i said i‘ll tell you later.” you groaned, feeling guilty for being so impatient with him but you truly didn’t have the energy to argue or explain how you were feeling tonight. really all you wanted was to get some rest and discuss everything in the morning but akaashi clearly felt like there was something deeper that needed to be unpacked first.

♡ “you say that but you’ll probably be too tired tomorrow as well.”

♡ you quirked a brow, taking a pause and leaning against your doorframe just as you were about to lock him out, “and so what if am? goodnight."

♡ “don’t be immature.” each word sharper than the last, they stung your eyes.

♡ “tomorrow, akaashi. love yo—"

♡ the next few moments were a blur. It was as though your body reacted on it’s own to seeing akaashi reach out towards your face, so without a moment of consideration, you found yourself jerking away from his touch; appearing alarmed while your heart rate skyrocketed for reasons beyond your knowledge

♡ once your mind was finally able to comprehend what happened and absorb the context, it didn’t take long for you to figure out that he outstretched his hand so he could tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ears, an act of affection he performs often yet it just happened to slip your mind

♡ akaashi yanked his arm back to his side, staring at his hand — eyes filled with disgust — as if he were presented with a murder weapon. despite that, his self-loathing was short-lived as he immediately inquired, “are you okay? do you need water?” he wasn’t really familiar with the ideal procedure he should take in a situation like this, so he used his judgment which told him that water was the solution to most problems, hence this should be no different.

♡ before you could deny his offer, he was already rummaging through his satchel in search of his water bottle, and once he found it he was quick to hand it to you

♡ after taking a few sips of water, you placed his bottle back in his bag and zipped it up for him, “thank you.” you murmured, not sure as to whether you should apologise or just play it off as if nothing happened. however, guessing by the dazed look in akaashi’s eyes, it would be safe to assume that these events have been permanently inked into his memory

♡ for the first time ever, he was truly at a loss. usually people would look to him when in trouble – or even danger – but now he was the threat, the cause of your stress

♡ perhaps it was because of how long you’ve been together, or maybe it was due to the fact you converse so often with him, but you could read akaashi like an open book. where others see a deadpan, dull setter; you see your boyfriend who is just in desperate need of affirmation from time to time

♡ a few minutes ago, you could’ve sworn you didn’t have enough energy to smile or communicate your feelings but here you were now, wearing the sweetest grin you could muster and humming in a honeyed voice, “i really do love you, keiji. and i’m not afraid of you either.” to emphasise your point, you leaned forward to plant a brief kiss on his cheek and tuck an imaginary loose strand of hair behind his ear, all while he stood speechless. not that you expected a reply anyway.

♡ “i love you too, dear.” akaashi finally uttered after an elongated period of silence.

♡ it was amazing how much you could tell simply from his eyes. his irises no longer vibrated as if they were pending an eruption, and pity behind his gaze seemed to have dissipated slightly. there was still somewhat of a glassy look to them, but he could say the same about yours.

♡ “goodnight. i’ll message you in the morning.” he smiled, mimicking the kindness in yours well as he turned around, promptly heading towards the bus stop with a final wave of his hand

♡ and he didn’t lie either. not only did he text you goodnight again, at exactly 6AM you received a notification from none other than akaashi himself reading:

♡ ‘good morning, sweetheart <3  how’d you sleep? i’m about to head to the shop, do you need anything?’

♡ although you denied his offer, he ended up buying you your favourite drink anyway

[meeedeee]

The First Post To The First Slash /Shipping Mailing List

The Date: October 19, 1992 ("it was almost 29 years ago") The Poster: sherrold* 

Context: the first pan fandom slash (shipping) mailing list, Virgule-L, was in its infancy. Safe spaces for women to talk about slash online were rare. And most fan fiction was distributed in print fanzines (which is why fanzine reviews like the one Sandy wrote were so important as a single fanzine cost $15-20 or around $30-40 in today's dollars.) Fan run conventions were the only way to meet other groups of fans and mailed letters and phone calls were the tenuous tethers that strung these fan groups together. The mailing list - and the Internet - was about to change...everything. ****************

Well, welcome to my adventure in mailing! I hope to have this set up soon as a 'real' mailing list, with it's own address. Until then, I only know one way for one of you to write to everyone at once. Just reply to a letter from the list, and answer yes, when it asks, 'reply to all'. So far there are 7 of us. I'll let everyone introduce themselves. I am Sandy Hereld,* I write as Alyx (often with a friend who used Alys) the pen name is *not* a secret. I started in "/" fandom in trek, moved to Pros, and now am very crazed about B7. I still love Pros, and like a lot of different fandoms, including Wiseguy, Starsky and Hutch, and Muncle. I helped run a slash con here in town last week, Virgule, and hope to make Escapade** this year (in February, in Santa Barbara--one of the list subscribers co- runs it--memberships still available), but not Revelcon.*** Maybe, if I get a new job, Media West. I've never been there, and I've always wanted to go. I just finished a great Multi-mediazine called Homosapiens Too. It has an interesting variety of fandoms and crossovers; even more important, there wasn't a single story that stunk (though I liked some better than others, of course.) Page count is Pros/Booker 18 pgs (Bodie/Booker) Eroica/Muncle 5 pgs (Eroica/Illya) Batman 4 (Batman/street punk) Nightflyers 6+ (cartoon, from the movie) TNG 5pgs (Beverly/symbiote) B7/TOS trek 5 pgs (Blake/Spock) Dangerous Liaisons 7 pgs (Valmont/Danceny) Damiano 2 pgs (from the R.A. McAvoy books) MUNCLE 2 pgs the usual Star Wars 4 (cartoon, original characters) Pros 4 pgs the usual B7 50 pgs (Blake/Avon) Perhaps I should mention at the there was a contest for most outrageous crossover pairing. My favorites were: The Right Place To Be (Bodie/Booker) by Arcane Annie & Stew--Bodie quits in a huff after an Operation Suzie, and is too embarrassed to go back; Booker has quit somewhat similarly. Seeing how stupid the other's foolish pride looks, they both learn things about playing roles and 'what really matters.' They also have pretty good sex. Do Blond's Really Have More Fun? (Eroica/Illya) by Barbara T. This definitely is set at a time when Solo and Kurykin are having some problems. The crossover is a fascinating one, and it works. (Anyone needing Erioca explained, just e-mail me. It is a pretty new/small fandom, but growing fast.) Brand New Day (Spock/Blake) by Jane Carnell follows immediately after Blake's pod makes planetfall after Star One. A great Blake, and if not a totally convincing Spock, it's close. Worth it for this scene alone. --Blake "What do you like?" "Anal penetration," "Which way round?" Blake inquired. "I am a telepath. It hardly matters. Whichever way pleases you." Valmont (Valmont/Danceny) by Stew -is a romantic, but very plausible retelling of the movie Dangerous Liaisons, all from Danceny's POV. For any that have read the book, you know it is told solely in letters and diary entries, so this collection of Danceny's diaries is very faithful to the original feel. It is also an amazingly concise retelling, squeezing 2 hours into 6 1/2 pgs. Submissive It Ain't (Pros) is basically just a sex story, but one firmly based in the very different personalities of Bodie and Doyle. Nice idea, beautiful sex, slightly weak ending. Puppeteer (Blake/Avon) by Bryn Lantry is a convoluted but beautiful story where: the action is in the emotions, everyone has multiple motives, and no one truly knows their own minds, much less understands their crewmates. A bit alternate, set sometime in the months before Star One but after Blake has already got the idea in mind, this is a wonderful character study of Blake and Avon, with Vila and Cally in strong supporting roles. Not my favorite type of story -- I think I prefer something a bit more straightforward, but undeniably compelling and well written. The other stories weren't dogs either... The Muncle story, Hanging In Time, by Y.J. is a very disturbing portrayal of the hurt-comfort syndrome in Illya, The Batman story will appeal to anyone who liked "The Dark Knight Returns" With All My Symbiotes -Susan Douglas- has some nice female slash. Why Couldn't It Be Me has gotten a certain amount of press as "Biblical slash." It does have two biblical characters in it, but it is just a vigniette, and has no overt slash content. A few caveats: I disliked the art in the first story, and was indifferent to the rest. I had a hard time reading the 2 cartoon sections; I thought the penning needed to be clearer, and the xerox needed to be darker for those sections. With those few quibbles in mind, I recommend the zine highly. It has an interesting collection of stories set in an amazing variety of universes. The editor is joining a growing number of publishers and putting the word count down -- 80,700, with 40,700 of it in Bryn's B7 story. It is available from Manacles Press here in the U.S. at  [address removed]. There is no U.S. price on the zine; it says to SASE Manacles Press, and I can't remember whether I paid $15 or $18 at the con. From Australia, it is available from the publisher...[address removed] $12 within Aust, $20 posted overseas airmail. (I assume that's $Aus)”

*Sandy passed away in July 2011 of cancer. One of our final joint projects was going  through our emails dating back 20+ years to find fandom history we could share

**Escapade is the longest running slash convention and is still held in Southern California (as of 2021)

*Revelcon is a slash friendly multi-fandom convention held in Texas. As of 2021 it is still running

[squarebracket-trickster]

holy fucking shit, did I just cut 6009 words down to 1726????? WHAT THE FUCK

and I thought my edits from yesterday were ruthless...

Turns out I did not end up combining the scenes I thought I was going to earlier. I did combine two scenes together but not those ones. I ended up cutting out nearly all of the one scene I was originally going to combine. I left like six sentences when it was original eight paragraphs or so.

The worst part was though, I had to kill one of my favourite darlings:_(

Have no fear though! I did not delete it. I merely stuck it in a comment on the side of the document so that I can try to shove it in somewhere later where it might fit better. (My writing process abuses the hell out of the comments bar.)

The line in question:

This part of me that wants nothing more than to lose every sparring match with this man because losing means getting close to him...

RIP I shall do my best to revive you.

I should probably go to bed because it is after 2am, so my update for today:

I only added 1728 words... because I cut out 4281 and that took a lot of time. My total word count is 22 168, my page count is 38, and I am 27% to my word goal. The word count at this point during my first draft was 35 292 words, so I have cut 13 124 words total so far. Oh my god.

Maybe I will end up under my word goal. That would be first... It would also be nice because then I would have room for more descriptive writing. I have really kept things sparse so far and I still have yet to decide what any of these characters look like hair colour, skin tone, and eye colour-wise. I just know their genders and agabs, how muscular they are, their heights, and their fashion senses -- the plot relevant details, ya know.

I would say my cuts are about 50% the narration rambling on about the main character's thoughts even though her dialogue has already implied everything more concisely in subtext (partially because the author did not know where she was going with the story at the time and just kept putting sentences on the page until it figured itself out), 20% stuff that was already said earlier, 15% needless backstory, 14% needless exposition, and 1% random dialogue and action tags that do not add anything.

Also, let it be known that today was the day I realized that in draft 1 Adris never actually learns that Sorin is betrothed. The first time it is mentioned (when they almost kiss) she somehow already knows. I had to fix that for draft 2.

Today was also the day I realized how much the FUCKING MOON shows up in this story. I think I am going to have to do a separate edit of the whole novel just to make sure the phases of the moon are accurate. GOD

The moon shows up so much I think I am going to make it deliberate symbolism. For what, I do not know yet. I will just keep writing and see what happens.

Tomorrow, the plot thickens as the first line I shall be starting on is when the army shows up.