#onion's ramblings

[d6b-onion]

this video has been going around for a while but the English subtitles didn't match the energy of the spoken French at all. i had to fix it.

reblog to spread this version

[foldingfittedsheets]

My coworker Astrid and I are working together and I saw this post about Google having to sell chrome and how the funniest possible outcome would be The Onion buying Chrome.

Astrid frowned slightly and hesitantly said, “That’s not a very reputable source…”

I blinked. My brain recalibrated and I then stated, “The Onion is satire. Did you know it’s satire?”

I watched all the stages of grief flit across her face as she reevaluated everything she knew about The Onion and she whispered in horror, “That makes so much more sense now.”

Apparently a right-wing family member had cited The Onion to back up an argument. She went to their site, scanned it and wrote it off as right wing drivel before being today years old when she learned differently.

I said in glee, “You have the opportunity to do the funniest thing at the next family gathering.”

[d6b-onion]

"apartment complex? i find it quite simple." — Kosuzu Motoori

[joyflameball]

[fox-guardian]

OH MY GOD HIS NAME HAS BEEN ORION THE WHOLE TIME THAT'S WHY THEY GAVE HIM THAT FUCKASS BELT

[d6b-onion]

this is already pretty good but it gets even better if you imagine kagerou as trans here

[morethanmemory]

alright phosphorus phuckers listen up

now some of you may disagree with me but honestly i don't think phosphorus is very smooth when he genuinely starts falling for someone

he can do sarcastic, snarky smartass but oh nooooooo let him fall in love a little and watch him start stammering

[d6b-onion]

random fun fact i'd forgotten about but the way her hands are positioned is extremely close to the French Sign Language sign for 'cow' so this is a form of cow style as well

[idiiiiiiiiiiidit]

Okay okay okay I know I've been posting this fanmade erb stuff a lot, but y'all seriously gotta check this out it's actually incredibly well-made

[d6b-onion]

>is told a drink can give her drastically improved strength >immediately drinks it >first thing she does to test her strength is lifting Reimu up and over her shoulder without a hint of hesitation

What did Marisa mean by this?

[0n10neater]

Milsiril breaks my heart and i feel like her relationship to kabru is really misinterpreted a lot since the main perspective and understanding of her character is only provided from kabru’s POV.

But like, thinking about how much kabru means to her drives me crazy. She’s over protective, infantilizes shorter lived races, and comes from an abrasive family dynamic and now compensates by taking in children who have lost their own families. She knows kabru has a shorter lifespan and she knows he is likely going to die before her. All of the kids she takes in, she is probably the one going to outlive them.

They talk some of the way the tropes of tragedy in love stories between long and short lived races but to think about that from a familial perspective feels like a completely different kind of heart wrenching.

I really appreciate the amount of perspective we get on these feeling’s from marcille especially once we find out the reason shes so scared of those she loves dying before her, and i think milsiril is another really interesting character to look at in the ways she provides a perspective from a parental figure who will have to live with losing most of the children she takes in during her own lifetime.

[girl-detector]

1 kg onion (singular)

(it's 987 to be exact but it's close enough to 1 kg)

[bklily]

If I have to read another fucking comment about how "marichat is better than ladrien because in the former they can be their true selves with each other" I'm going to commit a federal crime with violent repercussions.

Ladrien is another peak side of the love square and I'm tired of pretending otherwise.

[post-it-notes7]

Awwwww Dark is such a cutie patootie making food for him. If Falspar doesn't eat it I'll shatter him myself trust 😤😌

DMK could hand him a package of uncooked spaghetti and I think Mir Falspar would just sigh and start munching at this point

[d6b-onion]

oh god i love deep leffen so much. you can just scroll through and find gold. here are some other favorites of mine

DeepLeffen is a Twitter bot trained on r/smashbros and Tweets from professional Smash player Leffen. It randomly generates Tweets based on prompts it is fed.

It’s probably the best account on the site.

[d6b-onion]

tell me about ur transfem ralsei headcanons, please :>

Before anything it's worth saying that I view headcanons less as "a list of things i believe to be true documentary-style about a fictional world" and more so "a story that i think deserves be told within".

Anyway spoilers for chapter 4 of deltarune. Will also be she/her-ing ralsei for the remaining of the post.

I think the thing that really tipped me over into this headcanon was the hammered and thoroughly repeated theme of Ralsei's role in the prophecy being a burden that she resigns herself to.

At the start of the chapter there is of course the segment with Ralsei's room, where the party discovers that behind the door to "Ralsei's room" lay a completely barren room, just a window fluttering in the wind and nothing else.

Trying to answer the silent "why?" from everyone else, she speaks up and says, with her whole chest, that she never needed a room, that only Kris and Susie need to be accomodated, catered to, represented; that only their story needs to be furnished and augmented with detail, and that her own may remain as a role, a persona, a mask.

Why does she need a room, when all she needs to do is accomodate the Lightners? Why does she need personal space, when Kris and Susie's place in the story is obviously the most important? Why does she need a self, when the Dark Prince is all she has been prophesized to be? It's hard to overstate this when her quotes are barely less blatant in disregarding her worth beyond her usefulness to other people.

Of course this scene had an impact on people, but I also found very insightful something that comes right before (if you go through rooms in a sensible order, at least), during the tea party. When eating cake, Ralsei has to be offered a slice because she didn't cut one for herself, and she reveals it is the first time she's had cake. The first time. She is so bereft of interiority that something as simple as baking a cake must simply be something she does for others, not for herself.

Through and through, she is barely able to exist outside of the role that was cut out for her; though she is making progress, by her own account! But for the most part, she is not a person, she is an interface, something to interact with to fulfill a greater purpose, and to leave behind when the inevitable time comes.

And if only this role could be carried lightly! But it rests heavy as the world on her shoulders. She later breaks down crying about how she does not want to know so much about the Prophecy, about how the world works, to know these things and not know where they come from, to have nothing to blame for all the terrible knowledge, of what will happen to everyone else.

But such is her role! She is predestined like everyone else! The burden has already been placed on her and cannot be lifted. So what's a bit more pain to add to the pile, anyway? She'll do all the puzzles, take the lead in all fights (even though she is the weakest), endure as much pain as possible if it means it doesn't fall unto Kris or Susie; who cares about the interface getting hurt in the end?

Please, Susie, don't look at the Last Prophecy, please, let me be the only one to bear that pain, as I am the only one whose pain does not matter. Let me take the blows of the swords if it means you two don't get hurt.

So then what if there was an out? What if the prophecy was not immutable, like Susie hopes? What if it could be retold and changed and made to focus on the gaps between words, like Gerson claims? For there to be an alternative means for there to be a possible escape to the suffering she has been condemned to by fate. Does that mean she can be her own person? That is for the future to figure out.

I don't know what kind of girl Ralsei is. I doubt she would present too differently from how she does currently; maybe leaning more into the feminine, but she's already pretty far ahead in that regard. I don't know who she would be once Kris and Susie leave the room. I don't know what her hobbies and newfound passions would be.

Like I said, I'm not too keen on just giving a static list of descriptions, so instead I gave a vision, a path, to a story that may be told, a story of a girl. And with these last two chapters more than ever, I think it's a great story.