#ooc// I have been without internet for a while (its back now!!) so I was unable to look up references for the fish lmaooo

[tsubomi-underwater]

@al13n-upr1s1ng and I went to the aquarium on Friday! There was a dogfish with a beautiful speckled brown pattern.

[mybelovedfleur]

,,𝐵𝑒𝓁𝓁𝒶𝒹𝑜𝓃𝓃𝒶" 𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝐼

(Yandere!Silco x Amnesiac!Fem!Reader)

─ ⊹ ⊱ -'♡'- ⊰ ⊹ ─

!TW! FantasyAU! Heavy Yandere Themes, Silco is ooc for sure, vomiting, sick!reader, violence, mention of death, I will tag every chapter seperately! :)

Description: ,, A series of unfortunate events causes you to completely lose your memory. Now, you find yourself thrust into the role of the Duchess of Zaun, married to a man you don’t recognize. But was this ever truly your life? And why does the scent of blood cling to you, no matter where you go? "

Note: english is NOT my first language, I am very much open for critique and suggestions but pls be nice and respectful :c

Also a big ty and ily to @ink-and-dagger because DWM is the best fic on the internet and you should read it immediatelly! They're the main reason for me coming back to writing after YEARS, yes it is that good C: GO READ IT NOW OR REREAD IT IDC

─ ⊹ ⊱ -'♡'- ⊰ ⊹ ─

A violent cough escaped your lips, food remains mixed with blood landed on the undoubtedly expensive silverware before you. A warm hand found its way to your back, moving in soothing circles, while you tried to catch your breath. You frowned at the mess you made, tears slowly clouding your vision.

,,I'm so sorry" you whispered in embarrassment, looking down at your weak, trembling hands.

"Don’t," Silco muttered, his brow furrowed as he wiped your face gently. "I shouldn’t have let you eat at the table. You’re too weak, my love." His tone was firm, but the action was oddly tender. It felt as though you were a child being cared for by a doting mother. But the difference was evident - you were a grown woman, and he was your husband, at least that’s what he told you.

"We're going back to bed now, that's enough stress for you today, beloved," he said without a second's hesitation, immediately picking you up and heading towards the bedroom as you whimpered in his hold. It was the first time Silco had allowed you to be anywhere beyond your bedroom or the bathroom. Sitting at the table, rather than being spoon fed by him while lying in bed felt strangely liberating, a brief moment of freedom you hadn’t realized you craved so much. 

,,It's morning" you were certain he heard your complaints, yet he chose to ignore them as he tucked you under the covers of an annoyingly comfortable bed. You felt like you had explored every nook and cranny of that room a hundred times, and stepping outside of it felt like a trip to an amusement park.

The matress beside you dipped under his weight, while his hand started to softly carress your hair

,,I'll bring you your medicine, you'll feel better then, alright?" his touch traveled over your temple, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear ,, I'll be right next to you, I'll read the reports and you'll fall asleep cuddled up to me, warm and soft" a delicate kiss landed on your head "Just like you used to"

It's been 2 weeks since you woke up. A dense fog shrouded your mind, obscuring everything. Who are you? What is your name? These seemingly simple questions only deepened the ache in your head. The pain had been unbearable then - every little movement was difficult. Your body felt exhausted and weak, as if it was pushing against the limits of its own capabilities.

It felt as though you had been dragged through hell and back—there was no other way to explain the state you were in. For the first few days, you burned with fever, teetering on the edge of consciousness, struggling to hold on to even a fleeting sense of reality.

In those brief moments when you managed to grasp even a sliver of reality around you, there was always that one hand gently touching your forehead, that one voice soothing your nerves, whispering sweet words of comfort.

You felt then as if some higher power took pity on your tormented soul, sending you an angel who became your only anchor in all this madness, his presence was like a silent ray of light piercing through the thick fog of pain. Every time his presence was felt, your whole body seemed to cry out for his touch, as if he was the only cure for the pain, the only being who could heal you. You were sure that if only you could, you would pull him to you, locking him in a strong embrace.

The reality turned out to be much more bitter than you expected.

When you first saw his face, a crushing feeling of terror ran through your body, unable to move on your own, completely at the mercy of this strange man. Your body trembled on its own with his every touch, almost trying desperately to scream for you to run away, the complete opposite of your imaginary savior. 

At first you thought it was just his appearance that made you so terrified, and you couldn't help but feel disgusted with yourself.

Yet despite his terrifying, almost inhuman eye and wounded face, the fear you felt ran deeper. It was some intangible, subconscious force that told you to stay away, as if something in his presence dangerously shook your intuition.

At first glance, you could already tell that he was an extremely elegant and wealthy man. His clothes were woven with gold and silver threads, perfectly fitting his figure, as if it was an indispensable part of him.

You were convinced that this place belonged to him. The opulence and grandeur of this bedroom made you feel almost alien, like you had no right to be there, like all this luxury didn't suit you in any way.

But the way he looked at you made you feel like you were a priceless treasure, a million times more valuable and beautiful than anything he ever owned. Only then did you begin to consider that it was the same person who had been standing by your bed all those days. His face immediately softened when he noticed you were no longer desperately trying to get away from him.

He told you everything, not taking his eyes off your face, as if he was looking for any reaction in it, as if each of your glances could reveal something he hadn't said yet. "I am Silco, Duke of Zaun, you are (Y/N), my only, dearest wife" the way he said it, as if it was a sacred thing, known to the world for centuries. He knelt down in front of your bedside, took your cold hand in his and gave it a kiss that involuntarily made everything inside you instantly quiet, your fear, the trembling of your body, the accelerated heartbeat audible in your ears, and probably your common sense.

A month ago, when your carriage was attacked by his enemies, their goal was him - but fate would have it that he wasn't with you in that moment. Against all odds, despite your wounds, you managed to escape, the only survivor. Amidst the raging storm, you wandered breathlessly through the forest, with every moment your wounds were deepening, and your strength was fading. Surely at some point you had to fall, the doctors said that the wound on the back of your head was critical.

You felt the internal pain that he must have experienced, almost spilling over to you. Every word he spoke carried pain and indescribable sadness, as if what he was telling was not only a story but also a painful memory that would not give him peace.

You sat there, legs pulled up to your chest, heart beating at an accelerated pace. Although you tried to make a sound, the words died in your throat, and the huge lump that was stuck there prevented you from saying anything. Finally, unable to contain your emotions, tears began to flow, silently running down your cheeks. 

The moment he pulled you to him and locked you in a tight embrace you were unable to resist , or tell if his embrace was a gesture of a  savior or the bonds of an executioner. 

You closed your eyes and gave yourself into his hands

You wouldn't get an answer.

─ ⊹ ⊱ -'♡'- ⊰ ⊹ ─

A terrible coldness took over your body, you opened your eyes the moment an icy gust of wind touched your face. You groggily sat up, to your surprise the door to Silco's office was wide open, compared to the darkness of the bedroom, a faint glow of a dancing candle flame was emerging from that room. Your feet touched the cold floorboards, and the sound of your own breathing seemed exaggeratedly loud

And it was only when the door handle was within reach of your hand that you realized you were able to move without Silco's help. Your legs no longer seemed to disobey you, standing no longer made you nauseous, and the inevitable headache disappeared.

The office was shrouded in mist, and its humidity made you slowly squint. The candle flame seemed to shimmer more and more intensely in your eyes, its light reflecting aggressively on the dark walls. Could it be smoke and not mist? Surely such a small candle couldn't do that, a fire had to start somewhere. As soon as that thought crossed your mind, you felt it,

As soon as that thought crossed your mind, you felt it - the sharp smell of burning forcefully entered your lungs. Choking, ragged breaths spasmed from your throat. As you grabbed your neck, and tried to back away to the bedroom, only a blank wall stood where the door had been, as if it had never been there.

"Ṣ̷͇͓͚̓̍a̶̭͒v̷͉̹̦̊̋̿ẻ̷̳ ̵̪͔̭̓̿͑͝ư̸̖ͅs̸̻͚̯͐" a desperate cry echoed in your ears, your eyes wandering around the room in panic. But the blinding glow of the candle flames made everything around them merge into one, as if time and space had ceased to exist.

"I̷͗͐͜t̷̢͇̪͗͆͝'̸̘̟̕s̶͈̘͝ ̶̺̞͈͓͆̒̓͘h̷̜̥̙͚̄͐̏̕ì̷̟̙͇̭̐̑̕s̶̢͖̏ ̶͇͝f̵͓͋ą̸̘͔̤͐̍̌ú̵̹̕l̵̨͎��́̒̓́t̴͉̬͒̍.̷̡̣̭́.̵̡̯̠̋̓.̸̩̭͍͎̈́͊́͐" screams, sobs, dying breaths, desperate attempts to catch even a moment of respite. In the background, that terrifying, constant sound of burning wood, as if the world was about to fall to pieces.

"Y̴̜̎̔͛͂o̴͔̎ṵ̷̾͆̊̈r̴̟̜͚͂͌͘ ̵̢̖͙̫́̄f̵̰̚a̷͈̽͋̀͝ủ̵͙͑̕l̷̹̳̻͖̈͝ţ̸̐͋"

[maxmoffs]

guys i am gonna make this super VERY CLEAR AND QUICK , I think it’s actually pretty obvious too, so to update you all my mains especially, and you my angel mutuals so that you know that im not dead and I am writing again 😅 but that I had been resting , and had a very very very unprompted but needed MAJOR INTERNET DETOX which is not something that I really need to ask permission for not update bc these blogs are my space to have fun and be creative with yall. ( this includes here , my personal life social medias and completely off the radar , even my friends in person/irl thought I disappeared … ) but , that I AM BACK BUT I AM GOING TO BE SEMI TIME + MOOD DEPENDANT ACTIVITY . because while im so incredibly excited and made my squid game muses as well as made amazing changes to my blogs i also had a busy schedule irl so suddenly especially with my musical coming up so i will be very weird timezone because during the night is when I usually am around and that is when my musical rehearsals will be :( for the next two months , hence time dependant, … this doesn’t mean I won’t be around , it just means my replies via dms + plots will be a day opposite because im in a bad timezone 🥺😭 it’s just uncontrollable, if this is going to be an inconvenience for you personally / prefer fast replies i totally understand its a preference but also for me to feel happy here to come on whenever without feeling guilty or anxious that i ‘lose’ interactions , this is very clear in my rules that just bc im slow doesn’t mean i dont want to write with u. hence why I also do have my mains because I want wanda and ALL OF MY MUSES to have permanent and constant interactions . but that is not limited and once we have interactions going ic or ooc , you are forever locked in with me. second update is that , I just want to update yall , that im okay and feeling better . this is the first time ive logged on to my laptop and my blogs for the past two and half weeks , as some of you know i did have my musical audition for a week and then i got sick with a flu this week . so I hadn’t left my bed and had pretty much just writing in my journal to exude my will to write and playing marvel rivals lol. other than that, I am okay. I wanted to clear this up so that im not worrying any of you and that im grateful for the check ins 🤍🫶🏼 pls understand i want to be on , but i will be quite slow for the next two months during my musical commitments. i hope you are all still interested in writing with me bc I really really don’t want to delete and have you not returned to tumblr for only four months now , i want to stay bc this space is actually quite healing for me to be creative in this avenue and I hope to keep that going and hope my speed doesn’t affect whatever we have going, especially with my friends/mains.

thank you! much love, ellie 🤍

[feinbodies]

FOREVER IN YOUR FAVOR: 001 - sincerely yours

pairing: yasushi takagi x chubbyfem!reader

summary: as written lies tie these two by contract, a destined fate will lay between the walls that our tragic lovers have built to keep themselves grounded without crumbling of disdain.

warnings: slight angst, kind of boring in the beginning, mention of minor character death, profanity, kind of ooc ig? smoking (mostly cigs tho tehe), slight violence, ion know man i think that's it

authors note: after the longggg wait I’ve finally decided to start writing again 👅 this is also a pretty long chapter so… heh

Hate is a prized possession. Basking in all its glory as if it were gold. Cherishing it like a faded memory that now lays in the back of your mind. Hate controls the people, the minds, the blood, the senses. Hate controls our emotions that are held captive through our bruises and traumas. Until we have no choice… But to give in and break…

Bits of your hair stuck to your forehead as you pulled your gloves off, along with your surgical hat and mask while exiting the operating room. Trudging your aching body towards the sink to wash your hands. 

Your job as a doctor and veterinarian always kept you busy, which was fortunate for you since you hated being home. Your mother was a businesswoman. A good one at that. Along with your father. Leading the company to increase in popularity, including your family name. 

But despite your families’ fortune, you still believed you were unlucky. Your mother had always been hard on you, being the only two women in the family, with you being the oldest out of three children, you were next in line for the company. 

In your honest opinion, you never wanted to be like your mother. She was always working, had always critiqued herself and the others around her, which made her a difficult person to get along with… At least for you. Your two youngest brothers, Ciel and Silas, were the ones she really cared for, who she focused on. Silas, being the second oldest and 3 years younger, and Ciel being the youngest and most favorite, was 5 years younger. Both equally as aggravating, and equally as pampered. 

You sighed as you walked out of the utility room. You ran your hands down your face in frustration before weakly smiling at all your coworkers while clocking out. Your day consisted of over 14 different emergency room patients, almost 6 being a case of worried parents/individuals who unfortunately believed everything they searched up on the internet, and 5 surgeries that lasted over 4-9 hours. Your muscles ached, pain cascading through your body as your bones creaked like rusted metal as you hopped into your car, your dark cherry red Aston Martin rumbling to life as you turned the key and drove out of the parking garage, the cold breeze rolling across your face as you drove through the streets of LA. The 2am street silence was the most calm you had all day, your engine being the only minimal noise as you revved across the road quickly. 

Times like these felt like a breath of fresh air, an escape from all the chaos. Your body finally being able to melt into a state of relaxation without a worry in the world, for just a moment. But with a moment of calm, came the heart-wrenching reality. 

You rolled your shoulders as you walked up the stairs towards your apartment building, sending a small wave to the night guard as you entered the elevator and pressed the top floor, resting your head on the wall behind you with your eyes closed. Your head was clouded with everything, anything, all at once. No chance to cycle through or even zero in on one thought to spare you the headache. It was then that times like these, that called for desperate measures of comfort.

You sighed as you opened your eyes to start rummaging through your bag for the little box your fingers had ached to grab ahold of the entire day, whether you wanted to or not. You felt the familiar cardboard against your fingers before pulling it out and examining it. Despite being a certified doctor and veterinarian, your main source of solace had been the cancerous addiction. 

Your eyes scanning all around the front of the box before the elevator door ‘dinged’ softly before you exhaled deeply and exited the elevator, making your way to your apartment and unlocking the door before locking it quickly after. Your penthouse was dimly lit as you entered, though the polished marble floor glared against the lights as you threw your keys into the glass bowl on the side table. Your shoes clicked on the polished floors as you slowly swayed towards the living room and scoffed. 

“What’re you doing here?” You mumbled as you stood in front of your mother who was sitting on your living room couch. 

“You’ve been ignoring my calls all day, and it’s 2:00 am.” She spread her arms across the back of the couch as she looked up at you, her head tilted to the side. “You also missed the appointment with the wedding planner. You’re lucky Yasu came in your place.”

“I’m a doctor, Mother. I’ve been in surgery all day so I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to be present for the cake flavor testing. My apologies.” You mumbled sarcastically. 

“You should be. This is an important event in your life, and you’re missing it. All because you decided you’d rather save the lives of people who are below you.” She stood up tall as you took a few steps back, the backs of your legs softly hitting the glass table behind you. Her fox-like eyes pierced into yours as she continued to stare you down, like you were prey caught in her line of sight. “You are not a hero. Stop acting like one.” She tilted her head to the side before her eyes caught the cigarette box in your hand. “I told you those were bad for you.” She eyed you with half lidded eyes. 

“Like you know what's good for me.” You snap back before trudging your way towards the balcony, pulling out a single tobacco stick and popping it between your lips before cupping your hand over it and lighting the butt of it with your lighter. 

“Don’t be a smartass.” She scoffed lightly before ghosting past the door leading to the balcony and swaying towards the door. “You have an appointment with the wedding planner at 2:45 tomorrow. Don’t be late.” She purred before walking out of your apartment. 

—

Yasu wasn’t a god, despite the internet having to say otherwise. Their whispers of the journeys throughout his life being one of the main platforms of his upbringing. With his studies of law and the help of his own knowledge, Yasu was able to overcome the obstacles of gossip. Because of his delinquent background, many had believed he wasn’t fit to take over his father’s company. 

The Takagi Empire was destiny in the form of money. With the success of its reputation, (and its owners) the empire had made a massive impact on not only Tokyo, but all of Japan. And along with Yasu’s increasing popularity, came his possession of the Takagi Empire… And his marriage. 

Yasu tightened his tie as he walked into the building, his tall figure ghosting by as he smiled softly at all the gasping employees. Pulling his glasses off his face as he reached his destination.

“Yasu! How wonderful to see you again.” Y/N’s mother cooed as he leaned down to kiss her on the cheek with a smile. 

“Hi Mrs. L/N. I apologize for the delay. Tokyo’s streets are quite busy today.” He mumbled softly as he pulled away. His eyes slowly trailing to the woman who was observing the table toppers.

“Well at least you were willing to join us. Unlike someone…” Y/N’s mother glanced at the woman behind her before sighing and fixing Yasu’s tie. “She’s in a bit of a sour mood today. She would rather be cutting people open instead of planning her own wedding.” She joked before smoothing out the clothing that covered his shoulders. 

Yasu smiled softly before slowly walking towards her, pushing his hands into his pockets while he stood behind her. “Haven’t seen you in a long time.” He spoke softly as he trailed one his hands along the table cloth. “It’s been about… What? 7-8 years?”

“13. We haven’t seen each other since we were 13. The last time we spoke was the day my father passed.” Y/N mumbled before looking up at the tall man. “Hi, Yasu.”

Yasu’s eyes widened at her statement. It had been exactly 13 years since they last spoke. 13 years since her father passed away. “Hi, Y/N…” He trailed off before painting a smile on his lips. “You look-”

“Different? That’s what my mom says-” 

“Beautiful. I was gonna say beautiful. Very grown up, if anything. Though, your height definitely hasn’t changed.” He tilted his head to the side with a grin as he teased. “You’ve been the same height since you were in 7th grade. Kinda’ sad dontcha’ think?” He smirks as he leans down to her level. 

Y/N looked back up at him with a soft expression, her supple cheeks warming at the compliment and teasing from the man. “That’s only because you’ve been a giant since you were 12. Leave some of those veggies for the rest of us.” She joked with a small chuckle. 

Yasu smiled softly back at her, his eyes glistening in admiration. “Thought ya’ never liked eating your veggies. That’s why you’re built like a cabbage patch kid.”

Y/N rolled her eyes playfully before her entire aura flips like a switch as her mother made her away over to them. 

“These are… Decent. Doesn’t really fit the theme though, does it?” Her mother mumbles as she eyes the table toppers. “I believed me and Yasu settled on red and gold, correct?” She said as she looked at Yasu.

Yasu’s eyes stayed glued to the woman whose expression turned sour at the mention of the wedding. Facing away from her mother and her soon-to-be husband and walking away with a scoff. Her sudden change had Yasu pondering if he had said something wrong. 

“Yasu?”

“Huh?” He turned to his soon-to-be mother in law as his eyes grazed over the decorations. “Oh uhh yes, those look great.” He nodded dumbly before looking back to find Y/N nowhere in sight. “Where did-” 

“Have a look at these ones. I think these will go well on the tables.” Y/N’s mother pulled softly on his arm towards another table of decorations, as Yasu continued to wonder where his bride-to-be rushed off to…

—

If you didn’t know any better, you’d think your mother was the one marrying Yasu. With the way she was completely invested in making sure everything for the wedding was perfect, you wouldn’t be surprised if she was the one standing at the altar. 

You pulled the cigarette out of your mouth and blew out the smoke with a sigh, leaning against the building's wall as you looked around. The city you grew up in had begun to change right in front of you, all the things you had surrounded yourself with slowly starting to fade away brick by brick. As new buildings, businesses, and even people began to change. You included. 

“That brand tastes like burnt cardboard. I don’t know how you can smoke those.” A deep voice mumbled as you looked to your left. Yasu’s tall figure walked towards you as the sun glistened against the side of his sunglasses. “Never knew you were a smoker, Short Legs.” He joked as he pulled out his own pack of Seven Stars and picked out one of the sticks and popped it into his mouth. 

“Like you said, I grew up.” You smiled softly as you took out your lighter and lit his cigarette. 

“Yeah, no kidding.” He chuckled as he took a drag and sighed. “You don’t seem to be very interested in this whole… wedding thing.” He glanced at you through his glasses as he took another drag of his cigarette. 

“I’m not. If anything, the one you’re marrying in the end, is my mother. She’s more excited about this than I am.” You grumble as you take a drag from your own cigarette.

Yasu frowns softly at your words, a small pang of hurt in his chest. “Well… You could always tell her that you’re just… not ready. I mean she can’t force you to-” 

“She can, she will, and already has. There’s no fighting against her. She’s already made a decision for me. No matter how many times I say no.” You shake your head softly before dropping the cigarette onto the floor and stepping on it with your foot. “Look, Yasu. I appreciate your consolation, but this relationship is strictly for business.” The tone in your voice is apologetic, but firm. “I do love you,” you continue…

“I just can’t bring myself to be in love with you.”

© all work belongs to deqdwinter. do not translate, repost, or claim as your own without permission.

[darksonofsparda]

🔥

Send me 🔥 for an unpopular opinion || Accepting

While it may sometimes feel like it, you are not being ignored. Sometimes you just need to take that extra mile and politely reach out. It might be scary being the one to reach out, but sometimes it has to be done, just remember to be kind. (Actual kindness too, not the fake Ellen type)

This one I feel is important to mention, because I've personally felt like this before in the past, only to realize I was wrong for thinking that way. So damn wrong.

We've all been here before. After a lot of searching with little to no luck, You've finally found the character you've wanted to write and plot with for so long, and now the moment has finally arrived.

You got a follow back, you've spoken to the mun OOC and it was a great ice breaker conversation. After a bit of back and forth talking, you are finally here plotting with the mun, and the two of you are both getting excited, next thing you know, you've got a whole in depth thread planned out, maybe even a ship as the end result of this mutually agreed plot. Maybe you write the starter because the mun of the other blog is a bit overloaded right now, next thing you know, it's been weeks, and now its been a whole month.

Maybe you got one reply and nothing further, now you're having these doubts because you've seen that blog replying to multiple others, but not your thread with that person. Time goes on and on, and you still haven't gotten a reply. Maybe you've sent an ask or two in the mix, and everyone else's ask is being answered but yours.

You start to think: "Maybe all we planned was just a spur of the moment thing, if they are answering and replying to everyone but me, maybe they don't care anymore" Now let me stop you right there.

These kinds of feelings do happen, no one talks about it because they don't wanna feel like they are being a bother, or be seen as annoying. It's okay to feel like this, but believe me when I say that it's not true.

Everyone has a different life outside of the internet. No one is the same. Depending on their part of the globe, they might have a different time zone, some might work a lot, while some people might not work at all, others might be busy quite often due to work or other IRL complications. The bottom line is, if they follow you, they most definitely want to interact with you. If someone has plotted a whole thread from start to finish with you, they want to interact. If they planned a ship with you, they want to interact. Not everyone has the time to get to everyone, especially if they have a busy work life and already have a lot of threads (this is especially the case if the partner blog is a multimuse, muse can fluxuate from left to right very often)

No one goes through that much planning just to throw it all away without telling you they lost interest, if you haven't heard back from your partner, chances are they have just been too busy and tired to do everything, or they most likely just forgot, which can happen, life can get us twisted so often, especially when we least expect it. So we can't always keep track of every single thread, even if its in our drafts. If you're concerned about a thread, send that person a friendly message asking about it. Chances are you'll be doing them a favor by reminding them.

The takeaway here: People who are mutuals with you, and remain mutuals with you, even if there hasn't been a reply in a while, if they are still mutuals after a long time, they definitely still want to interact with you Work may have been hell for them that day, it's a bad mental health day or sometimes they just don't have muse for your thread, but that is not a bad thing. It doesn't mean they don't wanna reply to you, it just means they don't have enough energy to form a decent reply to that particular thread right now. But rest assured, they most certainly still want to interact with you.

Patience is key, but communication is also very important too. Because if you can't write IC with them for a bit, at least you'll have the pleasure of getting to know the mun behind the blog a bit more. Which is very good, because when the time comes to finally reply to your thread with them, there will be much more chemistry OOC which can also help drive the muse and thread much more strongly.

Don't ever think someone who is a mutual is ignoring you Because if they didn't actually want to interact with you, they wouldn't have followed/followed back in the first place. Sometimes you just need to take that extra step and say hi.

[the-monkey-ruler]

Dong Yue is such a troll because from the wiki I got this

At the end of the novel, the author lists twelve hypothetical questions that a reader might ask and answers them. Some of the answers are very similar in nature and, sometimes, contradictory.

The eighth asks how it's possible for Monkey to have a wife and children. He states that the book is simply a dream.

Since the Supplement is about Wukong’s desires, it would be funny if Wukong subconsciously thought Princess Iron Fan was pretty and that Demon Bull King didn’t deserve her (therefore uncle) and that she’d make a good mom for his 5 sons that he also apparently desired? Wukong desiring Tang to be a warlord though XD

Anyway bad timeline where everyone is OOC because it’s a fever dream sounds crazy awesome I wish I could read it.

Sometimes people are all about allegories, and nothing about substance! Which nothing wrong as long as it is entertaining. I do like how he anticipated the question because he knew himself, but he didn't explain them well enough. Also that Red Boy also doesn't exist in the book as it was said that these were Princess Iron Fan's first kids so its like Wukong willed Red Boy from ever existing as well! THAT IS FUNNY! He wanted a big family and no annoying nephew! Nooooo!

But you can read it actually it’s in English!

Here’s a link!

You are going to make a profile but still. Even comes with audio options if you want it out loud.

Have fun with the crazy fever dream!

While I will admit it is absolutely insane. I myself hope one day to have a script of how to make it into something of substance because I think there is a lot to work with. Time travel and inter-dimensional transportation aren't anything new but to know that this was one of the first 'time travel' books out there is pretty fun! It’s somewhere between a dream and a nightmare, where the dreams become so intense that they just go overboard. I feel like nowadays a lot could be played with, especially with how to look into what Wukong really wants and what he is willing to do to take it when in the middle of his journey. Like to measure himself mentally where he has changed from being willing to do anything in his power to get what he wants verse actually seeing the consequences of his desire affecting those around him that he has grown to care about and how their lives are ruined as well.

Sanzang becoming a general probably is too farfetched but the idea is that he becoming controlled by a Evil King because Wukong left and Sanzang lost his way. Now THAT can be interesting. Bajie tries to go back to Gao but as expected by rejected and thus he also joins the Evil Army. THAT is a cool take. Wujing being lost in all this and going back to hire hermit lifestyle, THAT IS SAD. BaiLong been forever, forgotten by his family and force the roam the Earth has a horse. THAT IS ALSO SO SAD. I don't know why people look any further for angst when if this story could be put in a more cohesive manner without the loose plot point or useless quests could be an interesting introspective of Wukong's desires have how they have changed from what he thought he wants versus what he wants now.

I do feel like a lot of the takes are more out of character but that is what makes it kind of scary and a bad timeline way. To think that because you (Wukong) can push people to new means. Maybe Wukong just wanted a big family before and missed his monkey, projecting that onto Princess Iron Fan who is deprived of both a son and husband and he understood that missing family. And maybe he feels responsible for both Bajie and Wujing on his journey to keep them together else they lose their ways and just go back to being forgotten criminals of heaven, nothing better than canon fodder. And his greatest fear of Sanzang losing his way... and becoming more like him. Choosing violence as the real answer to his problems, similar to Wukong. Any little desire he wished for Sanzang to be "more like him" taken to the extreme of him being a general sending out armies.

And it's that image of King Paramita, his desire for a family verse General Sanzang, his desire for Sanzang to be stronger (or rather just a little bit crueler to their enemies) being forced to confront each other in the climax!

Like I said there are a lot of wishy-washy side quests in the middle that really lead nowhere and are more of a commentary of the times and certain historical figures but there CAN be a lot of interesting plot points that could be SO MUCH FUN to play with! Wukong is always some of the first to say that he is a monk that left the family but maybe he still has that desire to be more than a grandpa to his monkeys and he a family man, but is that worth the cost of the friends he made along the way? I like to think that a lot of dreams are more his distorted desires which is what a lot of the book is. He even meets himself in a human form in the book which helps him out of his red strong of desire to help see reason.

It is only at the end when he sees the son he never knew kill Sanzang does he lose his mind, going into his giant form as he tries to destroy everything around him in a second.

But he can't.

Because he finally starts to wake up.

And when he sees that Fake Fish coming in as their "new" fellow disciples.

Man does NOT hesitate to snap his neck for messing with his dreams like that.

Have to admit that is definitely one way to end a story! But why anyone that is interested I definitely recommend it a read if anyone has the time!

[theji]

Things Yizhan Made Me Do

It's BXG Day today! 🐢💛

To commemorate the occasion, I thought of making a list of 13 out-of-character things that I've done since falling into the fandom. (OK I'm a bit late I meant to do this sooner, the day is ending soon in a couple of hours).

1. Start a blog

And a public one, no less. I had a blog when I was in my teens but that was private, like a personal diary. My day job already involves writing so off-work I would usually like to indulge in mindless activities. Now, here I am, maintaining a Yizhan blog. I have not even used Tumblr prior to this but I'm enjoying it now, rambling about our fav boys. Writing is not a chore if it's about them.

2. Join a fandom

I joined a boy band fan club once upon a time, some 15 years ago, but I was never as invested in it as I am now with Yizhan. Back then it was just buying some merch, attending their concert/autograph sessions, listening to their songs. Apart from work, dog mum duties, personal relationships, other hobbies like kombucha brewing, most of my free time is now spent on the fandom. My Netflix account is crying. There is just so much to do and catch up on (I'm not complaining). I also enjoy interacting with and learning from other bloggers here. Antis are no fun and some industry news/developments/hate messages are upsetting but ultimately, you curate your own fandom experience. And I choose positivity and rationality.

3. Indulge in RPS

I don't ever 'ship'. What is 'ship'? 😆 I was always a dutiful audience, just enjoying whatever drama series and moving on after that. I started with CQL like most people and I didn't even notice/like GGDD until much later. Didn't even set out to 'ship' anyone but now I'm a self-professed turtle. SZD is SZD, and anyone can see something special between them if you keep an open mind. I wrote about my SZD reasons here previously. That said, GG & DD are individuals, each with their own successful careers. They come first, the ship comes second. That I'm very clear of.

4. Use Chinese apps

Gosh, my phone and tablet are now full of Chinese apps. I used to have only WeChat cos I needed it for work but now I have Weibo, Oasis, Douyin, WeTV, MangoTV, Youku, etc. Some of them are not even available in the app store so I had to find alternative sources to download them. haha..I even have paid membership for some of these apps. And now, browsing Weibo daily becomes a routine. If you wish, you can just get stuck browsing Weibo for a long long time. It's entertaining.

5. Read fan fic

I only started about 6 months ago but now I'm hooked and fics are largely the only thing I read these days, apart from news. But I only read Yizhan or WangXian fics (p.s. calling for fic recs of other pairings!) I know some might have different feelings about fan fics but to me, I really just see them as fiction, with characters (and sometimes traits) bearing similarities to GGDD. Similarly, I separate the platform from the incident so I have no problems going to A03 despite GG's incident. I just enjoy seeing the characters named XZ/WYB having happy endings in many different timelines and universes. While most of the fics I read are explicit (by design), I don't use them as tools to play out certain fantasies or to think of GGDD in a sexual manner. In fact, I really hate fics that have little substance and just go into the explicit parts without plot development. I like those with interesting premises too, like one I read recently where XZ is a serial killer and WYB is a police officer investigating the case but also in love with him. I do have plans to share my list of fav fan fics some time down the road so keep an eye out for it!

6. Willingly read Chinese

Yes, Chinese may be my mother tongue but I don't use it much in daily living unless I have to. I also find it tedious to read Chinese cos the characters are just so squashed together. If I have a choice, I will always pick English. But now, I read so much Chinese from my daily weibo browsing. I even read fan fics in Chinese! Who am I? On the plus side, I think my Chinese comprehension and translation skills improved. I also picked up some internet lingo used by Chinese netizens, which are pretty interesting like doi, 🐮🍺, 🖍. My all-time fav is yyds.

7. Act like a cougar

In real life, I have always maintained that younger men are childish. At least those I have encountered. But look at me now, fangirling over two younger men (I am closer in age to GG, but still..). I even jokingly call them my 'China Boyfriends'. I look at them very respectfully most of the time.

8. Buy merch

Seriously, once you start, you can't stop. At least that was what happened to me, although I'm still quite selective when it comes to supporting their endorsements. I usually go for consumables like food, cosmetics vs collectibles cos I'm more practical. Also, GG says to support their merch within reasonable means so that's what I'm doing. Just buying things that I'm interested to try and not because it has their faces or names slapped on it. In a way, this suits me cos I like trying new brands and stuff anyway.

9. Keeping a Yizhan archive

Photos, weblinks, videos, songs, fan fics list..my phone is full of these things now. I think my Yizhan photo gallery is only second to the folder with my dogs' pictures. But how can you resist when we are blessed with new pics of them almost every week?

10. Camp for livestreams

I'm lucky I live in the same time zone as the boys so I don't have to wake up in the wee hours of the morning just to watch something. But that's the thing, being in the same time zone sometimes make me feel like I HAVE to watch that thing live because, why not? Why wait? Not shy to admit that I once watched a live programme in the middle of work but I made sure I finished what needed to be done. I think so long as we don't let these livestream schedules run our lives, there's no harm in camping for them.

11. Watch c entertainment

I am one of those who used to pass over Chinese productions, simply because it's a Chinese production. Not in a scoffing manner but I'm just genuinely not interested in them nor the celebs. I was more of a US/UK production kind of person, occasionally Korean/Japanese. Now, I'm learning to enjoy them although I just watch those with GGDD in them. No energy to follow other Chinese celebs anyway. The other programme I'm contemplating watching even if it doesn't have them in it is Who's the Murderer (GG was only in one of the cases) cos I like the premise. On the flip side, now my sis and partner keep making fun of me cos to them, all I do now is "watch China shows". That is so not true. Or is it?

12. Write fan mail

I wrote a letter to GG once. A long-ass letter. I hope he read it. That's all I'm gonna say. 🙈 hahahahaha

13. Desire to visit China

China was never on my list of to-visit places. Just wasn't interested. I have been to Beijing, Shanghai, Guangzhou a few times in the past for work but even then, I never felt the urge to revisit for leisure. Now, I wanna visit GG and DD's home town, visit Chongqing to see the graffiti wall with Bobii Zanbii on it, eat mala hotpot and try out their sauce recipe, attend BXG events, dine at the CQL restaurant... Watching TTXS also made me realise that there are many beautiful places in China with natural landscapes and all that. I used to be clouded by my disdain for the regime and some behaviour of its citizens but now, I recognise that the country is separate from the regime or a smaller group of poorly behaved citizens. China is a beautiful country and I would love to visit some day. I will fly over immediately on my own if someone gives me tix to ADLAD!!

Well, I hope some of these things resonate with you. Feel free to share the OOC things that Yizhan made you do.

Once again, Happy BXG Day! 🐢💛🐆🐇🐷🌶🦁🍑🐶🍍🛹🎋

[g--r-e--e-n]

The best of cures.

Anime expo: MAX. I may be late because I fell asleep :'C

Pairing: Beelzebub x GN! MC x Belphegor, not necessarily romantic but maybe kind of. May write a more lovey-dovey fluffy piece as a second part if anyone happens to enjoy this humble piece of writing.

Warnings: Mention of a vague sort of unwell feeling, probably because of Solomon's cooking. Spoilers for the whole Belphegor thingy, around lesson 16, I believe. Not too nicely written but I really do try.

A/N: This has been harder than it seemed! Maybe it's just because I didn't sleep nicely, but I wanted to participate in this.

English is not my first language, and this is my first fanfic, so it can feel weird and the characters might be slightly OOC (is that how you young people say it???). I also struggle quite a bit with Internet slang and overall usage of this platform so please, tell me if I did something wrong!

Asphyxiating. Utterly, deeply asphyxiating, which, coming from someone who once died being choked, is not to be overlooked.

Bodies pile against each other, pushing, brushing, bumping. The air seems to get heavier and heavier with every breathing pair of lungs, every beating heart.

Someone's singing on stage something you can't really understand, and it's way to damn loud, almost enough to drown the constant noise produced by a hundred little machines all over the place.

Levi was long gone, too invested into getting new merch to even think twice about the crowd. After all, this was a place were he got to be himself, where people wouldn't judge.

Mammon was, unsurprisingly, spreading chaos all over the place, followed by a very stressed and very tired Lucifer and Satan, who was having too much of a good time seeing his oldest brother struggle against the mass of people while trying not to get Mammon arrested, or probably directly murdered. Sure, he was a powerful demon, but he was also Lucifer's favorite and, under the excuse of "not allowing him to gain us all a bad name", he kept his adorable little brother out of danger, at least this time.

Of course, Asmo, on the other hand, was too busy flirting with cosplayers and praising their skills to even pay attention to your very mortal, very stressed and probably not at its best little head.

But it was fine, because, after all, you had the twins.

More or less. Maybe it was them who had you. Maybe it was Beel who somehow had both of you.

You softly grabbed Belphegor's shirt, who at the same time grabbed his twin's sleeve, forming a very awkard, but oddly comforting little train that ran at unholy speed towards every food booth you can find, as many times in as little time as it's physically possible without leaving you behind. After all, as much as Beel loves his food, you know he loves his family more, and, at this point, it seemed that you somehow are a part of it.

And that feeling must be there for young little Belphie, for when he noticed your pale face he slightly pulled Beel's sleeve, just enough to stop him from continuing ruining more business, perhaps even saving them.

"MC, you don't look too well" Softly said the youngest of all brothers, his soft fingers slowly tracing your cheek, letting go of his twin. His hand slowly and almost lovingly climbed to your forehead, worry clear in his face untill a relieved sigh leaves his lips, before a soft, almost lazy smile is born. "Well, at least it's not fever... Do you need a nap? I'd be happy to help."

You try your best to brush it off with a smile too, not wanting to disturb anyone, but before any words could leave your lips, you felt the world begin to spin around. It's not like you fell, but you did struggle a little, at least enough to get Beelzebub to lay his large hands on your shoulders at a clumsy attempt to help you. He knows for sure he's big and heavy, and now that you, a fragile human, seem to be sick, he seems afraid he could just break you.

"Maybe... Fresh air?" you do your best to speak, slowly coming back to your senses, feeling your guts move around a little too much for your liking. Both Beel and Belphie look at you with clear concern, two identical pairs of eyes fixed not within you, but within your soul.

You do not reek of the heavy, overwhelming and intoxicating sloth, nor of the acute, corrosive and flaming hunger. If a human is well fed and well rested, only sickness could be the answer, right?

They both share a concerned look. Soon, Beel, who does not have as much of a reflexive nature as his brother, is soon leading you two outside, shielding you as much as he can from the crowd, holding you close just in case you feel a bit too weak. Maybe you would complain if his warmth wasn't as alluring, his presence as comforting.

Belphie, on the other hand, lingered back a bit. Seeing you struggling and not being able to help made him feel so uneasy, soon reminded of your human nature, your own volatility. How his dream is just that, a dream. A foolish one.

You barely turn your head back in time for catching a glimpse of the Avatar of Sloth himself rushing (he may not be running, but please still note the huge effort) towards you, who are just crossing the door. Like hell was he giving up just now. He doesn't care what Diavolo says. He doesn't care what God says. He will fall again if it means he can get a happy future with Beel and you. I mean, at some point, you'll have to die. All he has to do is make sure you get here, with him, and to this day tempting you to nap with him had been rather easy.

The breeze is soft but fresh, trees softly dancing with it. Some people come and go, but there's at least a chance for you to actually breathe and sit on the nearest bench, head spinning a tad too much to mourn the loss of Beel's embrace.

"Are you feeling better?" It's Beelzebub who asks this time, kneeling before the bench to look into your eyes, with the face of a sad little puppy trying to cheer its owner. "Maybe you could use some food. What if it's your sugar level? Humans need lots of sugar, right?"

You tried your best to say no, you really did, but he was just too cute to simply refuse him. Poor boy wants to help, so you might as well give him a chance. He could be right, for all that you know. Not like he already made you eat much more than you had planned.

"Well, if y-"

"Food and rest." Belphie slowly nodded, sitting next to you and throwing his arm over your shoulder, a little smile on his lips once again, your voice too weak for him to even notice his interruption. He wasn't usually like this, but not that you could ever know. After all, this smiley Belphie is born every time you are around. "Beel, go get them some sweets. We'll be here."

The young orange-haired demon seemed pretty convinced, a sparkle of concern still alive behind his iris, nodding without a single question to be uttered. Belphegor does know a lot about humans, after all. And he's glad he gets to help.

As soon as his twin is gone, Belphie's eyes carelessly lie upon you, his arm shifting you to rest on his shoulder.

"He's one adorable dork." he softly says, as if he didn't want the trees to know how much he cared for Beelzebub. How much he cared about you. "So you better stay healthy. He already lost you once."

You hesitated a bit. You could be real mean and ask him whose fault it was, but something about the bitterness in his voice told you not to. It's not like you felt strong enough to fight anyone right there and then.

"Don't underestimate me, cowboy.'

You widely smile, letting a half laugh and half sigh go, closing your eyes and softly snuggling up a bit. The action is sweet, yes, but it means more than it might seem to.

For days after the "incident" you could barely let Belphie touch you. You did try your best, mainly because you would rather die again than see Beel sad, but your inner rejection to hid touch was too obvious for Belphie not to notice. It's how any human would've reacted anyway.

But there you were, weak, fragile, ever so much he could kill you with a mere snap of his fingers. Your hear on his shoulder, your hair tickling his nose, your own neck exposed for him to grab once more.

It was a foolish kind of trust that made something inside Belphie want to laugh, yes, but also incredibly warm, enough to openly hug you tight, something strictly reserved for either Beel or his dear pillow.

His hand, somehow a weird, corpse-like sort of cold, lingered softly on your neck, barely touching it at all, caressing slightly your skin and sending shivers down your spine. You seem to find certain relief in his soft touch, for soon you place your hand over his, slightly moving your head almost unconsciously, like a young kitten seeking for love.

"You are a weird human, you know?" A little laugh follows his words. Were your insides not feeling melt already, you sure would've felt it. Belphegor has one of the prettiest of smiles in the whole Devildom and, when you see him laugh, you felt paradoxically enough, in heaven. "I'm glad you're here. Not because of Lilith, not because of anything really, not other than because of you."

You didn't really know if he means those words, seeing how his beheaviour quickly changed, but you decided not to overthink it. Your position was comfortable, Belphegor's heartbeat slowly lulling you... Yet there's something else left.

At times something can be home, back in the human realm. Friends that you left behind.

Others, something can be a demon try as a tree hidden behind a mountain of snacks that barely allowed his bright smile to show behind the almost as bright wrappers.

"Beel, come here..." Belphie's voice sounds almost gravy, barely imprinted in a yawn, as he softly pats the empty space in the bench, his hand leaving your neck tingling softly, a whine almost running away from your mouth. "Don't be too noisy, alright? And try not to get heartburn."

As whiny and bratty as Belphie could sound to any stranger, Beel must find it extremely funny, judging from the way that he softly chuckled and obeyed, quickly handing you a package of your favorite candy that you do your best to hold.

"Here. There's a bunch, so don't worry, alright? Even here, we can try those booths food, so just focus in getting better! Everything else is just perfect." His smile was brighter than the soon, and the way he manged to cuddle both his brother and you while not getting poor Belphie drowning in crumbs seems oddly mesmerizing.

"Just you wait!"

As soon as your words had left you, you were pulled closer by Belpie as his way to hush you and tell you to just eat and nap, which, weirdly enough, helped a little bit.

You woke up pretty late, still cuddling a beautifully asleep Belphie and his twin, very awake, very hungry and very afraid to move. It was his stomach's roar that had brought you to life, and you couldn't help but laugh. Beel, even if confused and distressed, ended up joining, glad to see your strength slowly recovering itself.

When the laugh slowly died, you two were left there, starring fondly at each other, both hunger and illness suddenly yet temporarily forgotten.

It was awkard, yes, but the kind you happened to enjoy. Puppy love kind of awkard. Giggles and scaping gazes. Soft smiles and a warm embrace.

You carefully leaned towards him, careful not to lose your balance, and softly kissed his forehead, staying there, ever so close, for a few seconds before shifting again, Belphie moving in his deep slumber just enough to let you know he misses your warmth, and that, as always, he had some sort of alarm shoved up that made him wake up the moment you decided to get affectionate with anyone.

"Thank you" you whispered softly, eyes slowly shutting so to feel Belphegor's breathing, focusing on the way it mixed with your own, your fingers tracing butterflies over his chest, knowing Beel's attention still lies on you, and finding certain comfort in it. "This is truly being one hell of a year."

Beel's eyes were oozing love as he stated at both, his adored little brother and the lovely human who had stepped in to protect him. Brave, unique. Not that you could tell, of course.

"We're glad" A big smile in his lips and hunger completely banished, he soon went back to cuddling quietly, his comforting warmth soon reaching you, who curled a bit, feeling bumblebees waltzing in your stomach.

Around half an hour later, you were found by Lucifer, who stared at the tangled mess of limbs and empty envelopes with a raised eyebrow. Being fair, he wasn't the first one to be rather surprised by the view, but nobody else had such a tender smirk to their faces. It had been a while since he last saw his beloved little brothers having such a good time.

[amillioninprizes]

Some thoughts on Veronica Mars, fan service, and noir

I’ve been on winter break and at home with a nasty combo cold-ear infection-stomach virus the past couple of weeks, and as so often happens when I don’t have much going on, my thoughts have turned to ruminating over the steaming pile of excrement that was season 4 of Veronica Mars. Why yes, almost six months and one cancellation notice later and I’m still complaining about it--as I told someone on Twitter, it was so stupid that it’s going to take years to unpack.

This particular rant is brought to you by a common refrain seen in both professional critics’ and S4 supporters’ reviews of S4: the movie was schlocky fan service, while S4 is TRUE NOIR. I’m here to argue that neither of those things are true, and that in the grand scheme of things trying to definitively call Veronica Mars noir or not isn’t the best qualitative judgement of the series.

A note on “fanservice”

Something that’s been very strange to me in the critical discussion around S4 is that the fan-funded movie has been retconned as a fanservicey failure. This is weird because it did get a positive Rotten Tomatoes score, actually turned a profit despite the unorthodox distribution model, and was overall well-received by fans except for maybe the 5 Piz lovers out there (he absolutely did not deserve better you guys; he works at This American Life and lives in Brooklyn, he’ll be fine).

A lot of the things pointed to in the movie as fan service actually weren’t. In every interview about the movie and S4, RT and KB always talk about how they started with the image of Veronica punching Madison at the high school reunion and worked from there. The problem is that almost no one had been asking for that. If they had bothered to read any online discourse about the show (and we know RT definitely does), they would know that fans are actually somewhat sympathetic to Madison--after all, she was the intended recipient of the drugged drink Veronica received at Shelly Pomeroy’s party, plus growing up in a family that she wasn’t meant to be a member of must have negatively impacted her. When the preview scene of Veronica encountering Madison at the reunion welcome table was released, Veronica didn’t come off sympathetically. In a similar vein, as much as I liked Corny as a side character in the original series, I didn’t need him to come back for that random scene at the reunion. Nor was anyone asking for an out-of-nowhere James Franco cameo (which given what we know about him now is super gross in hindsight).

So why was the movie well-received by fans? Veronica was in character after an unevenly written and performed S3, and she was back in Neptune, doing what (and who; Ay-yo!) she was meant to do. So while the mystery was subpar (and what Rob Thomas mystery isn’t?), the character side of the story made sense and was satisfying. I wouldn’t call that fan service so much as good writing. Plus, what is even the point of wasting time, money, and effort on making a tv show or movie if it’s going to actively alienate the audience?

S4: more trauma porn than true noir

Admittedly, I’m not exactly the world’s foremost scholar on film noir (in my opinion, the height of cinema is teen romcoms c. 1995-2005), but I do feel I have enough pop cultural knowledge to have a working understanding of what film noir is, and as internet folk would say, S4 ain’t it chief. Sure, S4 was bleak subject matter wise, but that does not automatically equal noir. HappilyShanghaied, who does have a film studies background, wrote a pretty excellent post about why that is shortly after S4 dropped that I could not improve upon, so I will just leave it here. 

In addition to this analysis, I would also point out that S4 was lacking in a unique visual style common to noir films, especially compared to the original television series and the movie. The original series made use of green, blue, and yellow filters to fulfill a high school version of the noir aesthetic (quick shoutout to Cheshirecatstrut’s color theory posts for more on what we thought this meant before it turned out that Rob Thomas did not actually intend to imbue meaning into any of this), while the movie adopted a more mature muted blue-grey palette. S4, however, was more or less shot like a conventional drama and was brightly lit, perhaps signifying Rob Thomas’s apparent plans to turn the show into a conventional procedural.

The movie: more than fan service 

If anything, the movie was more noir than S4. Take Gia’s storyline for instance. While Veronica was off obtaining elite degrees, Gia spent 9 years in a virtual cage being forced into a sexual relationship without her total consent (because that’s the only storyline women can have on this show), and then set herself up to be murdered at the very moment she could potentially break free. That’s pretty fucking grim.

Then there is the whole police corruption storyline, which is a hallmark of noir fiction. The glimpses we get of the Neptune sheriff’s department point to a larger conspiracy at play than just crooked cops; Sachs lost his life trying to expose it and Keith was gravely injured. This was the story I was excited for future installments of Veronica Mars to address, especially given its relevance to today’s politics. Unfortunately, this thread was entirely dropped in S4, where the police department (because, as Rob Thomas revealed in interviews but not onscreen, Neptune has incorporated) is merely overwhelmed by the scope of the bombing case rather than outright corrupt. (Side note but Marcia Langdon was also a more complex and morally grey character when introduced in the second book than she was on screen in S4. Another wasted opportunity).

Noir is also marked by a sense of inevitability or doom as a result of greater forces at play. An example of this in the movie is Weevil’s storyline. After building a life and family for himself, he ultimately ends up rejoining the PCHer gang he left as a teenager due to a misunderstanding based on his race and appearance and the assumptions authority figures make about him because of those things. No matter what he does, he is still limited by an unjust and racist society. Contrast this with the final explosion in S4; it’s not inevitable, just based on Veronica’s incompetence. Rob Thomas claims that he tried to create a sense of doom to LoVe’s relationship between the OOC Leo storyline and the last minute barriers before the wedding, but those aspects just served to make the story unnecessarily convoluted.

What is noir anyway? Was Veronica Mars ever noir? Does it matter?

But this is all assuming there is a set template for noir anyway. This New Yorker essay points out that trying to definitively establish a set of rules for noir is difficult and that the classic noir films were more a product of midcentury artistic and political movements than a defined genre. The noir filmmakers working at the time would not have described their work as such. The kicker of this essay is the final sentence: “But the film noir is historically determined by particular circumstances; that’s why latter-day attempts at film noir, or so-called neo-noirs, almost all feel like exercises in nostalgia.” I found this particularly amusing because as Rob Thomas infamously proclaimed in his S4 era interviews, he wanted to completely dispense with nostalgia going forward. Rob Thomas and S4 supporters have said that Logan needed to die because noir protagonists can’t have stable relationships; but, if there isn’t a defined set of rules other than “an element of crime”, then was it strictly necessary? Hell, writing a hardboiled detective who does have a stable relationship and maybe even a family could have been an interesting subversion of genre expectations. Unfortunately, Rob Thomas isn’t that imaginative.

There’s also the issue that noir and hardboiled detective fiction aren’t interchangeable genres. This article lays out that idea that they aren’t the same because noir is ultimately about doomed losers; in contrast, detective fiction, while dark, contains a moral center and has an ending where a sense of justice is achieved. An interview with author Megan Abbott makes a similar argument; she states that in hardboiled detective fiction, “At the end, everything is a mess, people have died, but the hero has done the right thing or close to it, and order has, to a certain extent, been restored.” Based on the descriptions laid out here, I would argue that in its original format Veronica Mars far better fit the detective fiction model; while she wasn’t always right, she was never a loser, and she solved the mystery. S1-3 all had relatively hopeful, if not totally happy, endings, but you never see anyone complaining that they weren’t noir enough; if anything, they were more emotionally complex than the ending of S4, where Logan’s death is essentially meaningless. One could make the argument that S4 did push Veronica towards a more noir characterization by the definition of these articles by making her more incompetent and meaner than she was in previous installments, but that is a fundamental change in character, which is not coherent writing.

And that is ultimately why S4 was so poorly received by longtime fans and why there will be no more installments of Veronica Mars anytime soon (at least on Hulu). Even if S4 had been noir (or at least shot like one), the serious issues with plotting, characterization, and lack of adherence to prior canon that this season exhibited would still exist. Defending the poor writing choices made in S4 with “it’s noir!” does not mask them or automatically heighten the quality of the product. Perhaps ironically, in ineptly trying to be noir in S4, Rob Thomas likely prematurely ended Veronica Mars by failing his creation and fans with lazy storytelling.

[berkcwitz]

❛ ✶ (   madison beer, cisfemale, she/her   )   spotted   !   jalissa   berkowitz   was   spotted   singing   along   to   find   my   way   by   dababy   in   hilton   grove  .   you’ve   heard   of   them   right   ?   they   are   a   twenty   two   year   old   pornographic   actress   /   internet   personality   who   has   already   amassed   a   net   worth   of   550m  .   you   should   really   follow   them   on   insta   @callmejalissa  ,   they’re   about   to   hit   89m   followers  .   the   tabloids   have   been   calling   them   the   vixen   because   they   are   known   for   being   whimsical   but   also   a   bit   abrasive  .   though   most   people   recognize   them   by   a   drunken   gaze   staring   into   the   mirror   as   she   holds   finger   guns   to   her   head   ,   a   laugh   too   contagious   ,   leaving   notes   in   lipstick   on   bathroom   mirrors   &   echoing   of   her   mothers   longtime   disapproval   .    —   ooc info   (   mia.   twenty.   est.   she/her.   )

GUYYYSSSS ?! this group ? a masterpiece , wow . im hella excited to get to roleplay with you all . im mia by the way , im twenty ( i’ll be 21 in june what a vibe ) & i live in the est ( a clam chowder eating , dunkin donuts chugging , no Rs havin , boston sports loving new englander ). also i go by she/her pronouns ! i am going to be so honest with you guys . this intro is dummy long . like , i promise i will not judge you if you hmu asking for a quick synopsis of my girl because this shit below this cut ? is a novella & a half , sis . if im very honest i really just needed to flesh her out completely because she’s a new baby of mine ? and i wanted to make sure i really knew her before i put her out on the dash . im so anal about this , i know . anyways , before this little note section gets as long as the intro without further a do ? adu ? idfk ... here’s jalissa , she’s ... a piece of work . also if you'd prefer to plot on discord hmu @ 𝖒𝖌𝖐'𝖘 𝖜𝖍𝖔𝖗𝖊#9789 .

𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐈𝐍 𝐃𝐄𝐏𝐓𝐇

full name: jalissa  billie-jean  berkowitz nickname: lissa , jals , jb , berks , jalissa cadden ( porn name ) birthday: october 13th birthplace: fort lauderdale , florida hometown: hilton grove residence: hilton grove nationality: american ( est. 1997 through birth ) , british ( est. 1997 automatically a citizen due to mother’s citizenship , passport was claimed est. 2012 ) ethnicity: askenazi jewish ( maternal & paternal , 100% ) religion: judaism orientation: pansexual , panromantic ( she never really came out per say , people just kind of know she’s attracted to all genders . her family is very religious and she’s very involved with her synagogue so she’s made the choice not the necessarily put a label on her sexuality but is open about loving people no matter gender ) languages spoken: english ( fluent , first language ) , yiddish ( fluent , second language ) , spanish ( fluent , third language ) , german ( conversational , fourth language ) . father: henry  christian  berkowitz  ( 50 years old )  was born & raised in fort lauderdale , florida by a politician / banking heir & talk show host / philanthropist . henry himself went on to follow in his father’s footsteps and serve as a us senator for two terms & currently is the ceo of berkowitz capital . ( relationship:  it’s never been perfect but the love is clear in the relationship & he’s been much better at being supportive of her in recent years . certainly a daddy’s little girl even when you do wrong you can’t do much wrong type of situation ) mother : austen  sylvia  rachelson-berkowitz  ( 48 years old ) was born & raised in westminster ,  england up until her teens when she & her mother moved to washington dc after her mother had become the incumbent uk ambassador to the united states . austen was crowned miss usa at the age of 20 & later went on to follow in her families long time involvement in politics ( holding former offices as a us representative as well as governor for two terms ) . today she spends much of her time putting her law degree to work on criminal cases . ( relationship: they’ve never been close & have never quite seen eye to eye . since jalissa was nineteen she & her mom haven’t said more than ten words to one another & if they have it’s never necessarily positive ) brother: kenneth  patrick  berkowitz  ( 24 years old ) was born in fort lauderdale , florida & raised in hilton grove . he shares the same parents as jalissa and is the couples first born & only son . kenneth is following in the berkowitz footsteps & is heading the uk sector for berkowitz capital since graduating from columbia university a couple years back . ( relationship: the two siblings have always been close. they had a similar friend group growing up & alot of the same interests . they’re still rather close to this day despite being countries away from one another ) sister: sariah  rachel  berkowitz ( 19 years old )  was born in fort lauderdale , florida & raised in hilton grove . she shares the same parents as jalissa and is the couples last born . sariah currently attends stanford university where she’s on a pre med track . ( relationship: the two were often at each other’s necks growing up . mostly because how similar they are to one another . as of recently the two have grown close , though , with sariah fessing up to looking up to her older sister ) social class: upper education: highschool diploma ( hilton grove highschool g. 2015 ) career: youtuber ( from 2014-present ) , pornographic actress ( from 2016-present ) , podcaster (from 2018-present ) notoriety: being apart of the prominent berkowitz family , having one of the top 10 most watched pornographic movies , her podcast with her best friend tickets to our downfall  & her youtube channel callmejalissa . weight: 122lbs  height: 5′4″ hair color: brown ( with blonde highlights ) eye color: hazel ( wears blue contacts sometimes ) positive traits: whimsical , astute , extroverted , affectionate , quick , intelligent , friendly , ambitious , passionate , humorous , loyal , compassionate , effervescent negative traits: opportunistic , recalcitrant , hypocritical , vain , critical , stubborn , distant , sneaky , abrasive , sarcastic , obsessive , vengeful , reckless , arrogant likes: black coffee , birthday parties , lying , sunshine , baby pink , glossy lips , gossiping , stand up comedy , sunkissed skin , dogs , peanut butter , popping champagne bottles , driving with the windows down , swimming , mimosas , oversized sweaters , taco bell , cranberry juice , makeup , football , cosmetic work , arguing , online shopping , exotic foods , jewelry the price of a car , fresh berries , roller skating dislikes: liars , driving in the snow , her mother , jelly , basketball , bad drivers , when people lie about their cosmetic work , sushi , hateful people , disloyalty , overly emotional people , romance , being alone ,  astrology enthusiasts , hospitals , silence , cheap perfume , criticism , traffic , being late , red wine , short hair , anything banana or grape flavored  hobbies: reading magazines , dancing to her newly curated playlist in the mirror , gossiping with her grandparents , video editing , meddling , going for brunch , goat yoga , drinking alcohol while snuggled up in bed , painting alternate universe cartoons , attending big soirees , making impulsive decisions , smoking weed , sleepovers with her closest friends , suntanning on yacht decks , late night instagram lives , marilyn monroe movie marathons  chara inspo: kourtney kardashian , emily nelson ( a simple favor ) , tan france ( queer eye ) , evie zamora ( thirteen ) , rebekah mikaelson ( the vampire diaries ) , jennifer check ( jennifer’s body ) , gabrielle solis ( desperate housewives ) , regina george ( mean girls ) , lucifer morningstar ( lucifer ) , kathryn merteuli ( cruel intentions ) , veronica lodge ( riverdale ) , chanel oberlin ( scream queens ) , samantha jones ( sex and the city ) , andie anderson ( how to lose a guy in 10 days ) , blair waldorf ( gossip girl ) , naomi lapaglia ( wolf of wall street ) , maddy perez ( euphoria ) , kat hernandez ( euphoria ) fashion inspo: fran drescher , bella hadid , alex chung , madison beer , romee strijd , kendall jenner , selena gomez  career inspo: tana mongeau , jordan lipscombe , sofia franklyn , alexdandra cooper , lana rhodes , abella danger headcanons: she has one hundred percent smashed the windows in an exes car , she drives a black range rover , vandalized an exes home before , says “ harely quinn is my spirit animal “ once a day , is not the type of ask if you’re okay with her vlogging , has slept with rock stars and couldn’t care less that they’re basically the age of dirt at this point , is actually very sad when she’s not putting on the vivacious front in front of people , dances on tables whens she’s drunk , its not a party unless someone has offered her a line  

𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐉𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐀

the   berkowitz   family name has long been one that holds prestige & power . among the 1% for over a century . they are a prominent banking family that has had their hands in the pots of nearly every big banking company across the nation . coming into the united states after word broke of the california gold rush back in 1849 , the berkowitz brother’s were of the lucky few to acquire pounds of gold by the thousands . later founding what would become a leading investment bank known as berkowitz capital . the generations to follow would capitalize on the head start given to them by the two brothers . expanding the family company as well as the knowledge of the family name through heavy involvement in politics alongside the kennedy’s . since as early as 1953 there has always been a berkowitz family member actively appointed to a political role ( governor , senator , representative , us ambassador , etc ) . although the families roots within the states are documented in the capital of california , as generations went on they made their way over to the east coast , with most of the family members now residing in southern florida . 

the   rachelson   family is a prominent political family . synonymous with power & eloquence . with their rise initially taking place in the british parliament . many escaped to england from germany between 1933-1935 . they hadn’t settled into the states until jocelyn rachelson ( jalissa’s maternal grandmother ) was appointed the united kingdoms ambassador to the united states in 1987 . the rachelson’s have since had heavy involvement in the us government , both behind the scenes and at the forefront . much of the rachelson family have stayed within the european union ( germany & poland ) as well as england . although the few that followed jocelyn to the states now reside in washington dc and the tri-state area .

henry & austen had met through their mutual friends . it didn’t take long before the two became a rather public couple , a supercouple if you would ( similar to that of a brangelina of the 1% ) . although they’d met in new york the two decided that when it was time to start a family they wanted to move to hilton grove , an island austen had eyed for years . instead they found themselves moving down to fort lauderdale where henry had grown up . before they knew it , they were three kids deep in settling down in fort lauderdale . austen’s anger from never wanting to build a life in florida started to tumble into the relationship & the daily life of the family & so in an effort to recover the marriage henry agreed to moving the family up to hilton grove , where they have resided ever since .

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐉𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐀 𝐄𝐑𝐀

jalissa was born the second of three children and oh boy does she suffer from middle child syndrome , riddled with a envy and a need to be in the mix . the berkowitz household , although , from the outside looking in looked like a fabulous family life was anything but . jalissa , like her siblings , was born on a pedestal & what came attached with that was even higher expectations from her parents . her parents found a way to be extremely authoritarian & uninvolved all at the same time . they were very dismissive if you disappointed them & everything jalissa did seemingly did just that .

for a long time she was obsessed with getting her parents approval , she’d turned life into a silent competition between herself & her siblings . she befriended only the people her parents approved of , did all the events they asked her to do , did everything she could to excel academically & only dated people who were of benefit to her parents ( people who’s parents where also in high places ) . 

during highschool she joined the model un , debate team , and soccer team . if it were up to jalissa & not her parents she’d probably had joined the cheerleading team but her mother would never let that fly . it was too “ self indulgent “ to fit the family brand ( if only she’d known what would be coming years later lol ) .

it wasn’t until she was seventeen that she started to deviate from her parents wishes . of course , the catalyst to this was a boy , one her parents hadn’t really approved of but jalissa was completely head over heels for him . he really helped her boost her confidence to be her own person ? and not allow her parents to treat her like a puppet . with his encouragement she started her youtube channel , something she’d wanted to do for years but her mother had shot down the idea anytime jalissa brought it up . it was once again too “ self indulgent ” . the channel known as callmejalissa was an outlet for her , talking to a camera was the most heard she’d felt in seventeen years of her life . and god she knew that was hella sad . she really grew to view her subscribers as family & by the time her channel was brought to her parents attention ( more like her mothers , her dad had found her channel just four months after she’d made it and promised not to tell her mother so long as she was smart about what she posted ) she was about to turn eighteen and there wasn’t much they could do to stop her from doing it .

at eighteen she’d graduated highschool salutatorian with offers from university of pennsylvania & brown university . in all honesty she didn’t wnat to go to college , she saw it as a complete waste of her time . it wasn’t like she was going to do anything with the degree anyways . it would simply be a point of bragging for her parents at events & at this point she really could care less about them being able to brag to their friends . she knew she had to play along though , because this was the same year she was going to receive her first half of her trust fund ( a whoopin 500m , yes her trust fund in total will be 1b her parents are grossly wealthy guys ) so she bamboozled ? her parents , promising she’d committed to attending penn just so they’d allow for the money to be released to her account . she moved out of the house , literally moving into a house of her own a couple blocks from her parents house & claimed she was living in pennsylvania for college . we stan a sneaky binch .

two months later her parents were at her front door , though , ready to give her an ear full . her mother basically disowned her at this point . telling her how every year jalissa found a new way to be a bigger disappointment . her dad kind of played good cop , like he normally would because her mother often dug into her pretty deeply . to the point where any insecurity ( even though with the way she carries herself you’d never think she has any ) she has stems from something her mother has said / called her in the past . if henry berkowitz had a soft spot , it was certainly jalissa , it that had only grown clearly with the harsher austen became on the girl .

a few months before her nineteenth birthday a sex tape was released of jalissa cheating on her boyfriend at the time . it was a drunken mistake she’d made around the time of her mother basically disowning her , but that explanation did suffice for her boyfriend who inevitably broke things off with her . although this was a horrific time she’d received an abundance of offers to film more tapes . it was enticing to say the least . she was someone who loved intercourse but also had this deeply rooted desire to get back at her mother ? and what better way to do so then to something so far left from what her mother was about . this was next level disappointment in the eyes of austen berkowitz . the only thing that made sense ( in her mind ) was to dive head first into the porn industry .

like you’d expect her parents had a fit when they found out about her new career choice . although her internet fame had soared to new heights and her youtube & instagram followers were loving every second of this move . her mom was currently serving as governor and has since not been able to get elected in the political world since jalissa became one of the top porn stars around . they basically blacklisted her & jalissa feels no remorse , she’s gone so far as telling her mother “ sucks to be shunned , huh? ” .

although it took her dad a while to come around , he cares far too much to shut her out . 

not to long after jalissa & her best friend started their podcast tickets to our downfall , it’s a mix of call her daddy & the basement yard , basically two besties talking on a level that most people wouldn’t want to leave the privacy of their own space , giving advice , hoe tricks , and telling funny stories of their past . it a total hit & one of jalissa’s favorite things to do .

she live sin the same house she has since she was eighteen . she lives on her own with three dogs and a cat . she absolutely hates being alone and so maggie ( a tan corgi puppy ) , louis ( a  yellow lab puppy ) , humphrey ( a chocolate lab ) , and cedric ( a orange scottish fold ) are her babies that keep her sane in her big ole home . 

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 

as you can tell jalissa is chaotic , impulsive , reactive , and overall just searching for attention . she doesn’t care if the attention she receives is for the wrong reason or not , as long as she’s getting it . despite this she’s a good person ? i promise . she’s very friendly , loves a good joke & having a good time . very fun loving . she’s the type of person to try and bring up everyone else’s mood even when she isn’t feeling 100% herself . she’s loyal to those she deems are loyal to her . sometimes she’s bad a seeing who is actually loyal to her though & will be disloyal to someone who actually has her back ? oops . she’s definitely not the type to sugar coat anything for you , she tells it like it is & refuses to apologize if that hurts your feelings . if you cross her ? i’ll be praying for you . she’s the type to fuck your s/o , tell your boss some wild story about you & dump alcohol over your head at an event all in the matter of a week . don’t get her going , she’s absolutely relentless . with that said she’d very affectionate ... ? you can catch her hugging up on whoever is next to her at all times . touch is her love language , because lord knows she’s no sweetheart . she hates the stereotype of porn stars / internet personalities being ditzy , although she didn’t attend university she was accepted into two ivy leagues based off her academic abilities alone . the girl is intelligent & enjoys having a clever conversation from time to time .

𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

a girl squad or just a squad in general really , give my baby her lil group of people please

her ex boyfriend from when she was seventeen ( he’s mentioned above ) but basically he’s the one who encouraged her to not let her parents make her their puppet , they didn’t approve of him , jalissa fell head over heels for him . they would’ve dated for nearly two years because the sex tape of her cheating on him came out .

the person she cheated on her ex with ? maybe they’re the one who leaked the sex tape ? maybe they never even told jalissa they were recording ? 

her best friend that she does the tickets to our downfall podcast with ? these two are literally like twins , just two peas in a pod ( pun intended )

fans of her work ? and im not taking about her youtube channel or podcast 

ex hook ups that think she’s crazy ? she probably gave them reason to think so lbr

frenemies give me blair & serena circa season one type of shit

just plain old enemies , they were probably friends at one point or maybe just have always disliked one another ? 

smoking buddies were they literally just hot box cars together and munch on taco bell talking about why sound vibrates & shit 

someone who isn’t afraid to confess their love for jalissa but her damaged ass refuses to confess her feelings for them ? so it’s just this constant cycle of them having a good time , them being sweet & her just gets weirdly quite & starring at them before she complaining about them going and ruining the vibes

she’s a bad influence on them ? they’re a good influence on her ? ride or dies ? partners in crime ? only friends when there is a substance involved ? sugar baby vibes ? unlikely friends ? flings ? crush ? friends with benefits ? everytime they are around one another its a fight ? someone she lets crash at her place sometimes ? someone she’s backstabbed & maybe they don’t even know she has & they still think she’s a ride or die for them ?

[joie-university-rp]

Dear VITYA CRISTO,

It is with great pleasure we invite you admission to Joie University! Welcome to the Thunderclap family!

-

Congratulations, KEN! Please be sure to check the New Members’ Checklist and send in your character’s account within 24 hours from now. We cannot wait to see all that you will bring to this roleplay! We love you already!

OOC INFORMATION:

Name/Alias; pronouns: Ken, he/him

Age, Timezone: 22, PST

Activity, short explanation: New job so activity will be lower but I’m still here!!

Ships: Vitya/Anyone (Sexually), Vitya/Men (Romantically)

Anti-Ships: None.

Triggers: None!

Preferred photo for Character’s ID : https://i.ytimg.com/vi/1mfjly7Dgd4/maxresdefault.jpg

Anything else: My feet hurt from this new job. Also, if there are any typos, I’m sorry, I wrote this tired.

IC INFORMATION:

Full Name: Vitya Alexsi Cristo

FC: Bill Skarsgard

Age/Year at University: 19, Freshman

Birth date: November 18th, 2000.

Hometown: Vladivostok, Russia.

Gender/Pronouns: Male, he/him.

Sexuality: Pansexual

Major(s): Creative Arts - Illustration

Minor(s): Gemology

Housing request: Beiste Dorms, Room 226

Extracurriculars: Freerunning/Parkour Club, Esports Club, Gymnastics

Greek Life Affiliation: None.

CHARACTER PROFILE (TW; Depression, suicidal tendencies, under age sex/drinking):

Vitya Cristo has always been the baby of his family. It was not due to his age, or order in the births of his siblings, but more his health. It was discovered in his infancy he was born with a congenital heart defect. His skin was pale, he would lose his breath while feeding, and his hands and feet would swell up. His father, being a rich man in the pharmaceutical industry, wanted to fix his boy, but the medical professionals said the case was not severe enough for infant surgery. In fact, he should live a relatively normal life. His father did not see it that way. While his siblings would wander their large, mansion-like house in Vladivostok, Vitya was ordered to stay indoors. He was not allowed to play sports if not escorted, and was even monitored by a personal nanny to most of his schooling. He was isolated, unable to be a regular child because of his helicopter-like father.

Vitya’s mother was the light of his life. The woman had a fire in her, one that was freer and looser than her husband. She loved the man, of course, but disagreed with how protective he was of their son. On nights where he was away, she would sneak Vitya into the fields and courtyards and let him run around and be free. One of Vitya’s most prized memories is running through their lawn with the fireflies. He loved these moments with his mother and he learned to never take the good things for granted.

When Vitya started to enter his teen years, his father would take him to work more and more. Some days, his father would show him the labs and workers that were developing medicines, pills, and more. His father was introducing him into the business, with the obvious intent to pass it on to him. It was a cushiony job, with minimal risk, and little to no physical activity and enough money to set him up for life. It was clear was his father was trying his best to keep his son sheltered as he entered those rebellious years. It was also during this time that Vitya started displaying depressive symptoms, including self-destructive tendencies like playing with lighters and razor knives. In a hope to loosen the leash, Vitya’s mother convinced her husband to send him to school instead of teaching him at home. He, woefully, agreed.

When Vitya was sent away to an all-boys boarding school, the hope was he would become a fine young man, ready to inherit the family riches and pharmaceutical business. At first, he lived every day as if his father was there, as if his nanny still tended to him. It all changed when one night, his dorm mate woke him up to sneak out for the night and meet several other boys at the river nearby. It was near mid-terms, and the boys needed a break. Little Vitya could barely contain himself when he saw all the contraband they brought along. Booze, weed, satellite internet for porn, and hours to get through it all. That night, he partied like an actual teen for the first time in his life. He had his first kiss that night, his first blowjob, and later, at around five in the morning, his first partner. He dove into the deep-end, his sheltered soul yearning for the release and freedom all this brought him. And he reveled in it.

Vitya lived a double life from then on. During his time at home, he was the model son. Well-behaved, well-spoken. But at school, away from prying eyes, he was an absolute devil. Hours of drunken parties, bad habits like casual sex and smoking being his two favorites, and sometimes, getting into physical fights when his anger got out of hand. Vitya and his growing band of misfits found a way to bypass the school’s firewall, getting access to explicit content without hindrance. Vitya’s grades started to slip, but he didn’t care. He kept them up enough so his father would be satisfied, but that did not mean he was studying more. There was many-a-teacher he had dirt on, blackmailing his way to reasonable grades. He became a terror on the innocent boarding school almost overnight.

With his time at the school coming to an end, Vitya knew one thing for certain; there was no way he was going to be some CEO ass, dominating over people he would never bother to learn the name of. He still played the model son, faking his way into his father’s good graces, but each sideways glance to his mother told her what he really wanted; to get out. So, she did the impossible. Under the sleeping eyes of his nanny and father, his mother woke him up and snuck him outside, just like when he was a child. This time, though, she handed him a packed bag, keys to one of the cars, and a plane ticket, telling him to go. She may love her life of luxury and easy living, but she knew this was not the place for her baby. She only asked that Vitya keep an eye on his health, and use those American doctors for all their worth.

Vitya left that night and never looked back. He started out in New York, wandering to all the sites. He went to Pittsburg, New Orleans, Austin, Los Angeles; he went everywhere, explored everything, and fucked anything that gave him ‘the look’. Vitya would even set up in some motels and just let anyone in, if they had cash in hand and a bottle of booze. He got into some hairier situations, too, when those very customers would catch him clearing out their wallet. He had been cut off from his father’s fortunes when he discovered his actions, so he needed to make money somehow!

It was sheer luck when he applied as a foreign student at Joie University. He really just needed a place to stay, running out of motels to sell his ‘services’ out of. He knew he’d have to get an actual job at some point, selecting an easy degree to go after. He did enjoy drawing while growing up, and left his lovely rock collection in Russia, so illustration and gemology seemed a perfect fit. If only he could kick the Russian accent, then maybe he could fit in a bit better.

STUDENT CENSUS SURVEY:

(Please answer the following questions IN CHARACTER. Responses can be as long or short as you see fit!)

What made you want to attend Joie University?

It is a secure campus with a good curriculum. The housing seems nice and the students friendly enough. I am looking for a place to plan roots, to get started in life, and I want it to be here. There are loads of opportunities here and I want to find them.

What are at least 3 positive or neutral and at least 3 negative traits that you believe you possess?

I’m intelligent. Beyond the classroom. I am good at reading people, what they want or need from me, which helps me understand my task. I know what I want, so I am very direct and leave little room for misinterpretation. I also have a morbid curiosity that can get me into trouble. All of these combined makes me somewhat abrasive, but that is their loss. And I am not very personable. I’ll do what needs to be done of me, but ask if I want to watch a rom-com with some popcorn, and I’m going to have to say no.

Which of your traits do you value most?

My directness. If I know what I want, and it isn’t what someone else wants, then I know I need to look elsewhere. I’m not going to waste time, which is better for both involved.

How can that trait benefit the University (or its student body) as a whole?

Being Russian, I’m a cultural novelty that many haven’t seen before. The fact you Americans have to wait to twenty one to drink was a major newsflash for me, so now I have to wait three more years when I already was drinking back home. The more I learn about America, the more others can learn about the motherland, beyond what some media figurehead tells us.

What do you hope to gain from your experience at JU?

The obvious answer to this is a degree, but anther answer is possible dual citizenship. I hope through this, I will be able to travel between Russia and America with more than just a student visa. I truly believe I can call America home, if given the chance.

What is a quote or song lyric that describes you?

“Do you realize I’m the man and I’m in my prime? And it’s my time, I swear to God I won’t waste no time. You ain’t worth a dime, no, you ain’t worth a dime. Still on my mind, you’re still on my mind.” – ‘Let Me Know (I Wonder Why Freestyle)’ by Juice Wrld

[sheikah]

Ok, this is the last time I’m going to address this because it’s clear you just wanted to use my blog as a platform for your opinion rather than to engage in a discussion where you could potentially understand the other side. I also don’t want to spam my followers with this anymore. 

1. You don’t have tumblr, but you somehow saw and are bothered by my untagged post about fic abuse? Ok…

2. No, we are not lumping flaming and concrit together. What you seem to refuse to understand is that we are not interested in either one unless explicitly stated otherwise. While it is markedly more upsetting to be called a “cunt” or a “whore” (both of which I and others I know have received over the last year, by the way) I similarly don’t want to hear about it if someone “takes issue with [my] plot, themes, etc” I genuinely, from the bottom of my heart, do not want to know that someone is disappointed with my story or wishes I wrote it differently. I don’t care. I am doing this for fun. It is a hobby. Those sorts of comments, even well-meaning, add stress and seriousness to something I’m trying to derive joy from. And when dozens of writers are telling you that we don’t want your idea of “concrit,” whether it involves flaming or not, you should just listen to that and stop.

3. Going off of my last point, you’ve been told this by writers, several times now. We don’t want your criticism of any kind unless we specifically ask for it. By leaving it anyway or defending your right to leave it, you are ignoring our expressed wishes and being rude. By doing this you are saying that your entitlement to share your unwanted opinion is somehow more important than an author’s desire to write a story for fun without it turning into discourse, regardless of the tone of that discourse.

4. It isn’t “inevitable.” What you also don’t seem to understand is that it wasn’t always like this. I am a “fandom old” and remember a time when (aside from the rare and random flamer) all fic comments were positive. Fanfic was a place for friends to get together, execute their headcanons or dream scenarios, and fangirl over it in peace. It’s for fun. Unless someone specifically tells you so, you should stop assuming that people are overly concerned with their story being “perfect.” This is a fun side hobby, not a dissertation defense. Sometimes the point of fanfic is to do something boundary pushing or even deliberately OOC. We’re not here to be discouraged by people who have showed up to a community that was doing fine on its own and taken it upon themselves to change the rules and customs of that community.

5. Since you and more people like you are digging your heels in and refusing to be receptive about this there is a snowball effect, where some commenters see pre-existing negative comments in a thread, adopt some weird mob mentality, and gang up on writers. This has already led to multiple beloved authors in our fandom deactivating and deleting their work. Your “concrit” is having a marked effect on the fandom and leading to less content. That’s not okay. 

6. It isn’t about “safe spaces.” I know people like to mock that term now, which is a whole other fucked up issue. But this is about common courtesy, decency, and maturity. If someone is telling you point blank to stop doing a behavior that bothers them, a behavior you are CHOOSING to do, a behavior that you have no reason to do other than your own entitled feelings about someone else’s work, and a behavior you could stop doing easily and with no cost to yourself or your happiness, and you do it ANYWAY? That shows that you are immature and incapable of being courteous. 

7. The fact that you are bringing up the poor, helpless negative commenters being ganged up on by writers is just ridiculous. We’re telling you not to leave those comments because they upset us. You say that it’s the internet and an open forum and people should accept whatever consequences for what they post. Yet you also say it’s unfair for writers to fight back and you want commenters to be able to say what you want in peace without repercussions or negative replies. Are you seeing a pattern here???

This is the third time you’ve argued with me about this and I can’t make my opinion any clearer. If you are this unwilling to consider other people’s feelings then I’m forced to conclude based on our interaction thus far that you’re simply not a nice person or someone that I can relate to or empathize with, so I won’t be discussing this further. But please, just stop dude. Just stop.

[rkrosememories]

hello everyone, i hope you’re all well. happy rkfifth! five years, that’s a fair portion of time, half a decade in fact! i was contemplating on whether i wanted to write up one of these posts, as i usually do something similar when my own personal anniversary with rookies comes around, but for the sake of this being the big ol’ 5, i’m willing to do it. let’s take a walk down memory lane shall we and see where it all began for little ol’ me ( i got a job interview today, yay! )

i joined the krp community in august 2014, and rookies was one of those rps i considered joining, and a part of me wishes i did. i didn’t though, i found the large size of the roleplay to be somewhat intimidating so i ended up going on to make my own idol themed roleplay; which was fairly successful in its own way! ( r.i.p apollokrp ). but, i did end up meeting steph there, and eventually, i would end up being convinced to join rookies in july 2015; bringing forth my first rk muse, rkseokmin ( that’s dokyeom of seventeen, btw ). he didn’t last for long, and neither did my other two muses rkkyungri ( yes, i roleplayed kyungri prior to this, looking back, she was sort of like rkrose, being from australia and all ) and rksana, who i brought to rookies in july 2015 and december 2015. and now, looking back i don’t really have any strong attachments to these muses, i think i really just brought them in on a whim, and it wouldn’t be until the following year that i truly found my place at rookies.

come may 2016, season three of the mgas had begun and i decided to give rookies another go. damn rp! pulling me in and trying to get me invested! this time round, i brought forth a muse which y’all will definitely be familiar with. rkjuyeon, who was known as rkseo back then. and for anyone newer, that’s rksaercm. it all began with her, my tall dancing gay who had ambitions of idoldom since a young age. she had auditioned with her cousin in a process called the deathmatches ( you guys, if you weren’t around during like ... early 2016, you won’t know the pain of reserving / applying etc. as the old main blog was ancient. anyways, bless the rookies team for keeping everything going for so long ) and she failed to make it through. meanwhile, her cousin ends up winning the whole goddamn program. what a fluke. i did end up dropping her though, although she did return a few months later in september!

and we fast forward to july 2016; enter rkrose. blackpink’s iconic dance practice video was released and instantly fell in love, with one member in particular ( everyone was ranting and raving about lisa, but i couldn’t take my eyes off of the girl with braids in her hair ). that girl, was park chaeyoung, who like me, is a fellow australian! i instantly knew that i had to bring her to rookies, along with rose and keith ( who play lisa and jisoo, and eventually lari would end up completing the rkblackpink lineup that we know today with jennie ). looking back, i don’t really know how i envisioned rkrose to be; i mean, she was signed to royal within her first six months of being at rookies! she won the kt & royal contest, if ya didn’t know! she is probably the muse i am most well-known for, likely for not so good reasons. she’s been through countless “scandals” in her time, things of which are likely both of our faults. i’m not ashamed of her though ( more so of my own actions ). i think she’s a good egg.

when rookies gave us permission to go ahead with third muses, i think we all went a little crazy. i’ve had quite a few third muses, some whom i’m sure i can’t really remember, but rkchangkyun and yugyeomrk come to mind; i’m sure some of you might be baffled to know that i’ve ever actually roleplayed a male before, considering the fact that all i talk about on twitter is girls and girl groups. ah i forgot i did actually bring rkclaudia to rookies, aka moon hyuna. but we come full circle, and in march 2018, we meet rkkyungri, who is my third and final muse at rookies ( unless y’know, y’all wanna open up fourth muses to the public rk, because i’m down for that, i have many stories to share still wink wonk ). she was unlike any of my rookies muses; an ex-idol who failed at achieving her dream the first time round.

so, here we are, december 2018; i’ve given you a rather comprehensive and detailed run down on my past with rookies, muses wise that is, because there is a ton more to talk about. and i shall, because i want to be able to commemorate this special occasion! i think it is healthy to reflect on things that have happened in the past, so we can learn from our mistakes and better ourselves as people and writers. i have had my fair share of negative and positive experiences at rookies, and i think it’s normal to. rookies is a really big place, and people are bound to bump heads and not get along, that’s just human nature. i think that a good portion of my problems at rookies have been because of miscommunication. so new members, please take a leaf out of my book and remember that communication is key! also don’t get swept up in ooc drama and take your problems to the mods! that’s what they’re here for ( and they do an excellent job of it, thank you guys <33 ).

i really am invested in rookies; invested in the plot, the characters and their stories. i think it’s so amazing that we have a place on the internet where things can unfold and happen in real time almost. krp can be so fast-paced and it’s refreshing to see a place like rookies. i don’t think i could ever truly leave rookies behind, well, one day i’m probably going to have to, but that is another thing; rk is always there. rookies has reached five years. five! years! and that is a momentous occasion, because some rps don’t even see five months. as someone who has been an admin countless of times in the past, i have always wondered how rookies withstood the test of time, and now, having been apart of rookies for nearly three years, i think i understand now. many things go into making a roleplay work: the admin team and the members must work cohesively together, and i think we at rookies all do a good job of that. 

i have learnt a lot at rookies, and i think i definitely have a lot more to learn and experience. i must say, going into the new year, i really want to work on being more productive. some of you amaze me! replying every week, getting those points! you get that, pal! it’s really, really inspiring, and i want to be more like that. i’m honestly amazed i’ve made it two years at rk, as i’m someone who gets bored easily ( i also have commitment issues to some extent ). there have been countless occasions where i’ve wanted to give up and drop my muses, be it lack of motivation or drama, but the sole fact that i’ve dedicated two whole years to creating these characters is an incentive to keep going. i’ve always loved writing and i love that i have a space to share my creativity, interests and dreams with like minded people! i think that rings true for a lot of other people, but i’m sure y’all have your own reasons for sticking around.

i don’t think a post like this would be complete without some shout outs, but this part for me will probably be lacking, whoops. maybe i can make that another goal of mine. socialise more.

steph ( @jungwooxrk​​ ), thank you for introducing me to rookies and convincing me to join. we’ve been friends since december 2014!?! which feels like a long ass time. you were my first real internet friend and i’m very grateful to of met you. thank you for writing with me and putting up with me!

rose ( @rklisa​ ), keith ( @rkjisoo​ ) & lari ( @rkjennie​ ), rkblackpink is precious and means so much to both me and rkrose. although we don’t talk as much as much as i would like ( or we should??? ) i’m so happy that we’ve got y’all, i hope that our girls can experience many more things together. 

shinobi ( @rkkangjoon​ ) thank you so much for putting up with me. we’ve been through a lot of crap but i’m really thankful that we’re still able to talk despite everything. i hope you know that kangjoon will forever be important to rose, he was her first real boyfriend after all! thank you for putting up with us both! we love you! <33

peach ( @rkhaechan ) i don’t think rkrose would be who she is today without you and the help of jaebum. after a year of depression i think she’s back on her feet though!! toughest 12 months as a writer! but, despite everything we’ve been through, i’m so thankful we’re still able to talk. i also love your new muses, haech is a cutie & i love him very much :((((

lemon ( @rkyena ) aaaaaah i can’t believe i forgot to put you in here, i’m so sorry. thank you sO MUCH for putting up with me and my forgetfullness. i really love seoyoung as a muse and i’m excited to see her grow as an idol! also saeseo?! 

nana ( @younghyunrk​ ) i’m so thankful that i get to talk to you almost everyday!? i feel as though these past few months we’ve been able to get close which is exciting because you are awesome & i treasure you a ton! i’m excited for whats to come in the following months for our muses! hopefully we meet when i fly over your way sometime soon! i love youuu!!! <33

royal and sphere trainees! i would tag you all, but i’ll be here forever. thank you for making me feel included, even if i don’t participate in the group chat! i love our group antics, like photocard swapping, that was fun. thank you for taking care of both me and my girls, rose and saerom. i would like to work on getting closer to y’all!

and our incredible mod team, you know who they are, they know who they are. thank you so much, for everything you do. you guys keep this place safe, happy and running for all of us, all while writing for your own muses and keeping up with real life stuff like work and school?! incredible! amazing! fantastic! thank you for being so accepting and welcoming and supportive. i love y’all a ton and i don’t think this little message truly explains how grateful i truly am. thank you, for all that you do. 

i’m sorry if i forgot anyone in particular, i probably did and i’m sorry; i don’t have the greatest memory. just know that i’m grateful for you! even if we’ve never spoken to eachother before! thank you for making rookies the place it is! that being said, i should probably work on wrapping this whole thing up, since it’s getting pretty darn long and i would like to do some things today prior to this job interview i have later ( please send positive vibes, i’m going to need them ; _ ; )

these past two, nearly three years have been absolutely wonderful. i’m bummed i didn’t join rk back in the day but maybe the fact that i joined later was a good thing? i mean, everything happens for a reason right? these years have been hard and tiring but also very exciting and rewarding, and i���m very enthused to see where 2019 takes me and my girls, along with you and your muses! lets work hard and be happy, happy rkfifth everyone <3

  - lots of love, from sacha!

[initiare]

BASICS:

Name: Manon, but I’ve gone by the alias of Sae on the internet since I was about 12 or 13. It’s really stuck and caught on so much over the years that it’s as commonly used as Manon is, if not more (both online and offline). Age: 29.  Pronouns: She/her.  Sexuality: Hetero. Zodiac sign: Cancer.  Taken or single: Single.

Four Things About This Blog:

1. Still unsure of how this worked exactly, but I’d decided to make a blog for Jace before I’d ever read (or seen) anything about him directly. A friend of mine had been in the fandom and I’d heard about him through her, enough that I’d peeked at a few basic bits on the wiki. And then one morning I woke up with this intense yet unexplainable urge to make him, this character that I knew next to nothing about. I read the first three books within a week and then I decided to launch him. I’ve never had a muse arise to the occasion quite in this manner, but then again, isn't this Jace we’re talking about? Nothing about him follows the status quo.

2. If I’d picked up the books without ever having heard anything about any character in specific prior to reading, I would’ve still likely found myself drawn to Jace’s character— but I would’ve made a blog for Valentine instead. They both appeal to me for different reasons, but ultimately, I’m very glad that I made Jace and I don’t regret not having made a blog for Valentine for a single instant.

3. I’m an exceedingly opinionated person with very set norms/values and they definitely make their appearance within my OOC posts, and they’re not always popular opinions ‘round these here Tumblr parts by any means. However, I don’t let them influence my perspective when it comes to writing for Jace (or any of my muses). Of course, I may recognize some or many aspects, but I make it an effort and personal challenge to look at everything from as many angles as I can as to obtain the widest picture of any character’s behavior or any situation.

4. Despite them not being in full view as they used to be, my tags have been described as being the ‘arteries’ of my blog(s) and I couldn't possibly agree more. If you don’t read them, you’re easily missing out on 80/90% of my meta’ing. My posts tend to have some coherency to them, some logic, but in my tags you find my incoherency and that’s my heart and my passion. That’s where I’m most alive.

Three Mun Facts:

1. I recognize that I’m incredibly headstrong and it’s both my gift and curse. While it’s gotten me in the occasional trouble because I realize that I’m being too stubborn a bit too late, there have been and are a lot of moments where I’ve used it to my advantage and I profit from it immensely in numerous ways. So while I could condemn it as a flaw, it very much hits the extremes on both ends of the spectrum.

2. I’ve got fire for a heart, I’m not scared of the dark; you’ve never seen it look so easy. Okay, so two days ago, I had a day of massive cleaning. This always goes hand in hand with music playing, I sing and dance (of which I can only successfully do the latter). Youtube went through related videos, it somehow got to One Direction. I used to unfairly hate them on principle because I heard them everywhere and everyone loved them; in the same light, Harry Styles was always the one I disliked the most because he was everyone’s favorite. Since that day, I’ve listened to their non-Zayn stuff a fair bit and it’s catchy, I guess I’m a very late fan. All good. Nobody can drag me doooowwwwn.

3. A lot of my thick skin stems from being able to properly put the right weight to people’s words. And I'm able to do that because I value’s people’s actions infinitely more than I do their words. It’s so very easy to say or type ‘yes’ or ‘no’, but if your actions don’t reflect your state of mind or your statements, then I lose respect. We’re all guilty of falling short of this every now and again, myself included; we’re all human after all, but once or twice doesn’t equal constantly.

EXPERIENCE:

How’d you start: Tumblr back in August of 2012 is when I started in the world of RP’ing. I made Tatia Petrova from TVD (I went by the url herbloodlacedtheirwine). I never really dabbled much into the world of writing before that, except little snippets in early high school as to practice and try to further my English. Platforms you’ve used: Tumblr. Best experience: While the TMI/TSC fandom definitely has its bad apples and I’ve been in fandoms where things were consistently calmer, I do find my best experience to have been here because of specific individuals I’ve met while here. However, my Tumblr experience has overall been really good since my Ezio blog. I had a field day writing him and people seemed to really appreciate my input on his character. Beyond that, his blog was also from which I released my themes and I’ll forever remember all the positive feedback I've gotten on them. Despite this site not easily showing it, there are a lot of people with a heart of gold out there. Worst experience: I’ve never exactly found myself in a really bad situation that I can refer to it as the ‘worst’, as I tend to nip things in the bud but I’m also someone who mentally catalogs things quickly, it’s how I deal with things. That and awarding stuff the weight it deserves and not a shred more— numerous things that I use to generally avoid things from getting very bad or affecting me more than I want them to.

MUSE PREFERENCES:

Original or canon: Canon every time. Favourite face: Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Jamie Campbell Bower, Toby Regbo. Least favorite face: Actors or actresses that play the main protagonists in usually a show, as they tend to become over-used FCs.  Note: I have zero problem with these actresses or actors themselves, I just get tired of seeing everyone use them even outside of canon characters played by them. —To name a few examples in past and present: Nina Dobrev, Ian Somerhalder, Emilia Clarke, Katherine McNamara and Dominic Sherwood.  Multi or single: Running a multi isn't something for me, but I don’t mind writing with them in whatsoever way. Kudos and respect to multi muse blogs for having the mind to be so organized, though. I couldn't do it.

WRITING PREFERENCES:

Plots or memes: Plots, although I enjoy responding to memes on Jace as crack and light type of threads so fit him quite well, they’re a nice change from the immense angst that can be done in threads. Best time to write: I used to think the night, but looking back at threads and timestamps; apparently some of my strongest writing was done in the afternoon or early evening. Problem is, I don’t always have time to write a lot during those times. An issue? Yes, yes it is. Do you like your muse(s):  I rarely make new muses, when I do, there’s a reason. So yes. How long (months/years?): For my current blogs? Jace’s blog was created in November 2017. Francis was made... July 2017 and Ezio in May of 2016. I’ve made no other muses since Ezio and any before him have been permanently archived. Fluff, angst or smut: Angst/fluff, I’ve no interest in smut as it’s written on Tumblr.

Tagged by; @takeseffort tagging; @deusidvult (come on Shae, please make me feel less bad for writing so much by outdoing me), @beastmade, @leuthros, @audacatrix, @edomson, @snakedhand. Who else do I usually tag, uhm, @cainmarked, @xncertainty. Anyone else? Say I tagged you. <3

[shadowed-moonrise]

ooc: elia and ashka chat logs

[ooc comments supposed to be removed but i might have missed some. there is a Lot of logs bc we forgot to post until now]

shadowed-moonrise

oh my god what is WRONG WITH SOME PEOPLE

shadowed-moonrise

i got some horrifying anons!!! theyre so horrifying!!!!!!!

flameofcertainty

hang on let me turn off my blacklist for a moment

uh

uh

quick question: what the fuck

(not directed at you!)

shadowed-moonrise

i just

like

wow????

they sent me a followup ask like 'didnt you read what i said, my gf likes it'

shadowed-moonrise

and............... i dont....... think she does

like that does not sound like a healthy relationship and i hope they just made it up to creep on me

flameofcertainty

"hi i'm a rapist"

"wtf"

"no but she likes when i rape her"

i just

*what the fuck*

shadowed-moonrise

right

WHAT THE FUCK.

shadowed-moonrise

i was just talking earlier abt how i dont actually like that anybody can read my hyper posts but i make them on publicblog for like Awareness right?

shadowed-moonrise

and i thought i meant like abstractly, like maybe theres somebody reading them and cackling bc they dont agree w/ my politics or whatever?

but APPARENLTY

APPARENTLY

people will send me creepy asks about raping their hyper gf

flameofcertainty

some people are just really terrible?

i guess?

what are they even getting out of this?

shadowed-moonrise

i think some people just........ enjoy making other people suffer????

or maybe somehow they thought i would be like "i think this is hot or a good thing to do or whatever, thank you for your service to the hypersensitive community"

i dunno what goes on in these peoples head

shadowed-moonrise

heads

flameofcertainty

maybe tumblr just hates hypersensitives or something

it would explain a lot

shadowed-moonrise

like, okay, but what would you hate hypersensitives for

like theres somebody who hates hypos (and IS A NAT THERAPIST, AUGH) for.... not hating pollution enough, i guess

but hypersensitives are boring? we dont go outside much bc the outside is fully of scary?

flameofcertainty

maybe tumblr is just weird like that?

or maybe we're easy targets?

shadowed-moonrise

oh yeah that makes sense

flameofcertainty

most meso folks don't have a button they can press to get a reaction out of us

shadowed-moonrise

if you wanna make somebody suffer its so easy to target people with a big 'make me suffer' button

flameofcertainty

right

shadowed-moonrise

ugh im sort of regretting making it public

i could have just not mentioned it and had a really good blacklist

flameofcertainty

most of the time people aren't that bad

and then there'll be a week or two

where people send you nothing but asks about pollution

shadowed-moonrise

i blacklist some stuff but im generally okay talking about pollution if its like, abstract, so i dont do it that aggressively and then........ sometimes............. people take advantage of that

shadowed-moonrise

i wish you could like, have vulnerabilities without people just randomly deciding to fuck with you for no reason

flameofcertainty

yeah

flameofcertainty

hang on

i just scrolled down

>i’ll put my foreign object ;;;;) in your body ;;;;) ;;;;)

***what the fuck***

shadowed-moonrise

yeah.

oh GOD

i just got

another

flameofcertainty

oh no

how bad is it

shadowed-moonrise

bad enough im not sure i should tell you what it says

flameofcertainty

my brain is helpfully providing suggestions

why is it like this

are you okay

shadowed-moonrise

im.... probbly going to be in a minute

fuck

"the last "person" to hide their caste on this hellsite turned out to be red. i bet you aren't even hyper, you're just pretending so people won't suspect. i know what you really are."

thats what it says

flameofcertainty

aaaaaaaa

what the fuck

flameofcertainty

why would anyone send that to you

shadowed-moonrise

i dont know

i dont know

what did i *do*

flameofcertainty

i don't know

fuck

i guess if they think you're red that would explain why they hate you?

but seriously

what the fuck

flameofcertainty

i'm so sorry

flameofcertainty

why would anyone say that

shadowed-moonrise

anon hate doesnt usually get to me like this but

sob

why

the fuck

i dunno if they even really think that or they just want to upset me

flameofcertainty

i don''t

i don't know

fuck i'm so sorry

are you going to be okay

shadowed-moonrise

yeah. yeah.

flameofcertainty

is there anything i can do

shadowed-moonrise

i dont

think so

flameofcertainty

other than not be the sort of terrible person who would send those messages

shadowed-moonrise

thamk you for not being htat sort of person!

im so glad most people arent

flameofcertainty

it's really not hard

shadowed-moonrise

oh i can... go take some eytelia right now

it will only help in 40min but i might still need it then

shadowed-moonrise

brb

shadowed-moonrise

ok back

flameofcertainty

okay

anyways what the fuck

shadowed-moonrise

someday i will have coping mechanisms other than "get high in a way that coincidentally also helps"

flameofcertainty

i mean if it helps

then that's a lot better than nothing

shadowed-moonrise

yeah it is

shadowed-moonrise

im gonna go curl up and not look at the Fuckening Internet, i guess

flameofcertainty

seems reasonable

shadowed-moonrise

ttyl <3

flameofcertainty

ttyl :)

shadowed-moonrise

hiiiiiiiiiiii im back im not sad anymore because im so high

shadowed-moonrise

i got another horrible anon and i dont even caaaare

flameofcertainty

i'm glad you're feeling better

sorry about the terrible anon

shadowed-moonrise

also did you know art is pretty

its so pretty

flameofcertainty

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

i saw a video of a yellow playing the yellowest instrument ever and i wanted to send it to you but tumblr messages werent working on my everything

maybe i can find it again..........

shadowed-moonrise

http://theyre-a-geeky-witch.tumblr.com/post/138457594516/ here

flameofcertainty

that's actually really pretty

flameofcertainty

thanks

flameofcertainty

anyways what's up

shadowed-moonrise

i gotta work in a couple hours

by which time hopefully i will be able to handle it

idk i dont HATE it but its hard on the badbrains

flameofcertainty

i can imagine

shadowed-moonrise

like i feel ok now bc hiiiiiigh but im not very excited about leaving the house and going places

shadowed-moonrise

there will be a green party where im supposed to just pretend to be green tho!

i like those

flameofcertainty

that part sounds nice

at least

shadowed-moonrise

ive been thinking & writing a lot about how thinking-on-drugs works and greens always wanna talk about that

shadowed-moonrise

one time a client had me go to a thing pretending to just be green and it was nice and then she *told everyone she hired me* while i was in the middle of talking about my cs paper (my actual cs paper, which i actually wrote, and she implied i didnt even though i CLEARLY THOROUGHLY UNDERSTOOD IT)

flameofcertainty

???

why would she do that??

shadowed-moonrise

i wish i had just walked away but i didnt know what to do

some people....... have a humiliation kink

shadowed-moonrise

and like, okay, ill do that if you WARN ME, but you cant just spring it on me???

flameofcertainty

i am super not a sex worker but "tell people in advance" seems really obvious

shadowed-moonrise

YEAH

shadowed-moonrise

i didnt really say anything at the time bc i was so shocked but later i like messaged her and was like 'thats super fucked up'

shadowed-moonrise

she didnt really get it but she agreed to pay me extra for like, i didnt know what service i was providing beforehand & thats more costly

but she only engaged with it in like, super businessy terms

flameofcertainty

how does she not get it

this does not seem particularly hard to understand

shadowed-moonrise

i think she was like 'im paying you for both sex work and going to a party so i can just like do whatever, right?'

and there was also some like 'greys are toys'

shadowed-moonrise

fucking blues

shadowed-moonrise

i do not usually go in that much for caste solidarity because im so bad at grey + greys are not great about that but in that moment if somebody asked me i would have supported a military government

i could explain 'pay people for services and also lay out terms beforehand' but not 'greys are.... people..... dont be a fucking asshole'

flameofcertainty

i don't think i've ever actually talked to a blue

at least not to say more than "excuse me, can i get through" or "the soap is in aisle five"

huh

shadowed-moonrise

there... exist blues who are okay

there even exist blues who are okay and hire sex workers and do kinky things about castes with them

flameofcertainty

i believe you

shadowed-moonrise

like 80% of the people who hire me are entirely fine?

flameofcertainty

they can't possibly all be terrible

otoh a terrible blue can screw you over a lot more than a terrible purple

shadowed-moonrise

yeah.

im not sure what i would do if a blue client did something illegal to me because...................................... im not sure what i CAN do

flameofcertainty

probably depends on how illegal

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

and who they are

flameofcertainty

yeah

there are supposed to be reporting systems in place if they try to pay you to kill someone or something

idk if they actually do that

shadowed-moonrise

nobody has tried that and i havent heard anybody talking about that but im pretty niche and a lot of my family is green, idk

i feel like if somebody wanted to pay a grey to kill somebody theyd pick one who has ever held a gun

flameofcertainty

probably

but yeah, i'm guessing if you made an important blue mad they could screw you over pretty badly

idk

shadowed-moonrise

nodnod

ugh sorry ive been talking about my shit this whole time

it has been kind of A Day i swear i am usually better at conversation

flameofcertainty

it's totally fine!

shadowed-moonrise

how is your day anyay

flameofcertainty

it's been okay

mira and i went to check out that social-dancing place

shadowed-moonrise

oooh

what kind of dance is it?

i guess i might not know purple dances??

flameofcertainty

i don't know if the name will translate

it's mostly the kind you do in a group with other people that's really traditional

shadowed-moonrise

group dances are great

if you have... similar amounts of motor skills to the other people

flameofcertainty

yeah

flameofcertainty

i haven't done anything like it in years and i'm really bad at it but it's still fun

and i'm not bad at it in a stepping-on-feet way

which is probably good, idk

shadowed-moonrise

im pretty sure not stepping on feet is strictly better than the alternative!

flameofcertainty

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

omg babybro is home <33

flameofcertainty

baby!!!

shadowed-moonrise

he is so good!!!!!!

he taaalks and he plays with me and ive been teaching him abstract concepts bc i find it really exciting when he knows abstract concepts

flameofcertainty

tell me more about this baby

shadowed-moonrise

he can do numbers up to twelve and circles and triangles and 'many' and 'other' and i asked him what one plus one was and he said 'two ones' which means he *actually understands what it means*

he has adooorable curly hair

and a little nose

and he will boop my nose with his nose if i ask him to

and he loves my weighted blanket

flameofcertainty

baaabbyyyy

what a good baby

shadowed-moonrise

i guess at this point he might not 'technically' be a baby anymore? but hes a baaaabbbyyy

[lemme edit a picture of my irl little brother to have green hair]

https://78.media.tumblr.com/fa8d578702cf6c0ed9269902f535982a/tumblr_messaging_p7ryailotL1vio47i_1280.png

https://78.media.tumblr.com/b8ec991036777a0f24c9ed84a194d921/tumblr_messaging_p7ryanbD931vio47i_250.png

baby!!!! <333

second picture featuring Grey Grandma

flameofcertainty

baby!!!!

baaaabbbbyyyyy

he's so smol

shadowed-moonrise

so small!!!!!

and smiley!!!!

flameofcertainty

happy baby!

shadowed-moonrise

i hope he is happy foreeeeever

shadowed-moonrise

his lil nose is tan bc it gets in the sun more than the rest of his face

bc he has a little baby face!!!!!!!!!!!

flameofcertainty

little baby face on the little happy baby!!!!

he's so good

shadowed-moonrise

hes next to me playing with my blanket

i looove him

flameofcertainty

what a good baby

shadowed-moonrise

i told him i was talking a friend and he says hi

although im not sure he really gets the idea of the internet yet

he seemed kinda confused

flameofcertainty

hi baby-sibling-of-ashka

flameofcertainty

he's such a cute baby

shadowed-moonrise

his name is avidik

we keep arguing about whether to use avi or idi as a nickname

flameofcertainty

hi avidik!!

shadowed-moonrise

oh no he spilled water on the carpet

its alright its a pretty waterproof carpet

he ran at me and jumped in my arms

so!!!! good!!!!!!!

flameofcertainty

eeee

flameofcertainty

baby

flameofcertainty

good baby

shadowed-moonrise

oh also have you seen this yellow violinist https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGhPGH2YROA

seems like your kind of thing

flameofcertainty

wow that's pretty

shadowed-moonrise

oh i could take a picture of avi with my violin

he is not green, technically

although he also does not know how to play even a little bit

flameofcertainty

do you play violin too?

shadowed-moonrise

a little

shadowed-moonrise

im not like good at it

but it is fun

rn i am mostly actually learning to sign but i dont understand how notes correspond to mouth sounds so if i need to sightread i play songs on the violin first and then once ive heard them i can sing them

flameofcertainty

violin is great

shadowed-moonrise

it is!!!

i always felt like i should learn piano bc its easy but i like violin so much

one of my other brothers writes a lot of synth music

its really good

he plays it without telling us it's his to get unbiased answers and then he tells us and were like HOLY SHIT

flameofcertainty

gosh

flameofcertainty

that's really sweet

shadowed-moonrise

ok i’m not really online but I TAUGHT AVIDI A LETTER

HE KNOWS A LETTER

i’m so proud of him

shadowed-moonrise

hi hi

flameofcertainty

hi

a letter!

what a good smol!

flameofcertainty

which letter is it?

i guess it might not be a letter orvaran has

shadowed-moonrise

it's [forcetranslate]a[/forcetranslate]

or uh

[forceliteral]a[/forceliteral]

shadowed-moonrise

idk if that worked

flameofcertainty

yeah

we have that sound but it's written differently

shadowed-moonrise

nodnod

flameofcertainty

it's the last one in my name

[preservecharacter] a [/preservecharacter]

shadowed-moonrise

oh

i wonder if its always the same sound

i think it can make a couple sounds in anitami

flameofcertainty

just one in orvaran

flameofcertainty

maybe two

i'm not sure if they're technically separate sounds

and then there's accents and things

shadowed-moonrise

idk if i should try to teach him to read in valtaz

he speaks some but tbh there is just no situation where you even need to be able to read valtaz

flameofcertainty

maybe someday he'll want to swap to yvalta

for some reason

shadowed-moonrise

.............i really doubt it?

i guess if he wants to retire in the Old Country

flameofcertainty

i hear older people sometimes swap for the weather

flameofcertainty

or something

shadowed-moonrise

there are apps to machine translate physical signs and stuff but i guess theyd be annoying to use all the time

flameofcertainty

yeah

if he knows valtaz he can learn to read it if he ever wants to

right?

i'm not really sure how this works

'how to teach your family foreign languages' wasn't really covered in purple school

shadowed-moonrise

i think i should probably teach him the alphabet but not like focus on it

yeah my parents swapped out of yvalta with some retirees who wanted to go there for the weather and were unaffected by the horrible contract system bc they were too old to have more kids anyway

flameofcertainty

i can't really think why else you'd want to live there

flameofcertainty

lineality maybe

but there are other matrilineal countries

shadowed-moonrise

arent most countries matrilineal?

flameofcertainty

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

i think historically matrilineal was easier because like..... there can be ambiguity about who the father is if you dont have good genetic testing (and a database, in some cases), but you can always tell which person a baby literally just came out of

flameofcertainty

that makes sense for why

we're matrilineal

maybe someone who lived in ceredan would swap to yvalta for lineality, ceredan does permissions anyways

except for blues i think

shadowed-moonrise

how do blues even have kids in permissions countries

shadowed-moonrise

"ashka your family is from a permissions country" its not like they talked to blues a bunch

flameofcertainty

i think they have to impress other blues

probably they don't let you give yourself a permission

because then everyone would just do that

shadowed-moonrise

.....how many kids does the most important blue get to have tho

flameofcertainty

no idea

i think it varies by country

the one with the bears and no greys makes a big deal about the monarch only getting two

shadowed-moonrise

i guess with blues its always more "how many kids is it a good idea to have so that they can give them all a good inheritance" than "how many kids can they literally afford"

aww thats kinda cute

shadowed-moonrise

if i lived in a country where the king had like six kids i would be pretty pissed

flameofcertainty

good inheritances might be less important in permissions countries

i bet the way you impress people is with politics

or maybe real estate if you're bribing people, idk

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

it’s impressive that most permissions countries basically function okay

cuz like it seems like blues having to care so much about impressing other blues would mess with things

flameofcertainty

yeah

i don't think they function as well as most places

but that could just be propaganda

shadowed-moonrise

yeahhh idk how to tell the difference between “permissions countries kind of suck” and “permissions countries are usually small, often ex-oahk, etc, which makes stuff harder on them” and “our governments just don’t like them”

i’m low key impressed that blues in auction countries don’t make too many blue credits so they’ll be cheaper, tbh

i guess they super don’t make those decisions in spring + the international community would not be too happy about it

flameofcertainty

everyone i know from a permissions country says they suck but that's like two people

and if you increase blue credits everyone who isn't blue gets mad

shadowed-moonrise

my parents say yvalta sucks and i believe them but like idk how much it’s yvalta’s *fault*

flameofcertainty

i think the big thing is if for some reason a blue hates you a permissions granting blue can screw you over way more than a credit country blue

shadowed-moonrise

yeah that’s a big deal

idk a credit country blue can probably get you sterilized if they try really hard but it would take them more trying

flameofcertainty

yeah maybe

flameofcertainty

i've never heard of that happening in a credit country but that doesn't mean it never does

shadowed-moonrise

nodnod

shadowed-moonrise

anitam is trying out a first child subsidy

which is neat i thin

think

flameofcertainty

cool

are they subsidizing the whole credit?

or just some of it

shadowed-moonrise

noooo theyre starting with like 4%

shadowed-moonrise

and increasing gradually

bc you know how changing laws goes

sooooo sloooowwwww

flameofcertainty

i guess 4% is better than nothing

shadowed-moonrise

but eventually it will be a substantial fraction of the credit i think

flameofcertainty

but probably good not to do it all at once

i know there's some countries where everyone gets one and the rest are auctioned

shadowed-moonrise

first kid free just seems so much more humane? like i understand why credits are useful and stuff but people *just not getting a kid at all ever* is awful

flameofcertainty

summary bank says alavet, av valdin, celenta, fnr, ochero, qoloc

maybe some random tiny countries that no one bothered to include

shadowed-moonrise

nodnod

flameofcertainty

on the list, i mean

and yeah, i see what you mean

i wouldn't want to live in a voan country because i like knowing that if i work really hard i could get three

but it makes me sad to think about people with zero

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

flameofcertainty

i mean probably some people should get zero, like child abusers, but an auction's not going to stop them

shadowed-moonrise

hm i bet in voan/first kid free systems there’s probably a lot of four and five year olds impulsively having kids that they’re not entirely ready for but idk like maybe that’s just something they get to do

flameofcertainty

okay i'm looking at the summary bank article about the voan system

and the age when the most people have their first kid is five

flameofcertainty

but that's not most of the people

if that makes sense

shadowed-moonrise

nodnod

flameofcertainty

i know when i was almost-four they made a big deal in school about how we should all get long-term all-spring birth control

i bet they do that in voa

i guess i don't know for sure

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

i saw someone on tumblr talking about how they usually get the long term birth control and they get went on vacation to the southern hemisphere and just didn’t remember that they didn’t have the birth control and got pregnant

(they were asking if you can still get aftermarket credits in the *fall*)

:(

flameofcertainty

wow

that must suck

:(

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

i hope they managed to get an aftermarket credit

flameofcertainty

yeah

i bet they're cheaper in fall

since most people aren't getting pregnant

i definitely wouldn't want to have a kid with anyone i dated when i was four but maybe some people get really lucky there

shadowed-moonrise

yeah that’s a lot of what i’m thinking about like.... most people don’t know people who are definitely good coparents for them when they’re four

shadowed-moonrise

because it just takes time to figure that out

flameofcertainty

i'd've also been a really bad parent when i was four but some of that is me-things

shadowed-moonrise

yeah that toooo

i’m four and i’m super not ready to be a parent!!

shadowed-moonrise

i feel like i know how to be a good parent in THEORY but in practice i don’t like have the energy or emotional stability

avidi was born the spring i turned four, which was really good <3

flameofcertainty

that's so good

when i was four i was living with a friend rather than my parents

but if someone had dropped a baby on me i'd have been so unprepared

and my friend was living with their parents

flameofcertainty

so there were actual responsible people in the apartment

shadowed-moonrise

nodnodnod

shadowed-moonrise

fall/winter when i was three i was spending a lot of time with friends in other cities and stuff to get awaaay but then they there suddenly like “you know what, we’re having another baby this spring” so i came back

there are some upsides to the fact that my green mom has grey babies.......

flameofcertainty

i have a little sister

i've never actually met her

maybe someday i'll be able to make myself

shadowed-moonrise

oh wow i’m so sorry

flameofcertainty

it's not your fault

shadowed-moonrise

if you want to talk about it, or be distracted from it, or whatever-

flameofcertainty

if you want the story today's a good day for me to tell it

otoh it's definitely pollution-adjacent and i don't know if it's a good day for you

shadowed-moonrise

i think i can handle it, it is a good hypersensitivity day for me

flameofcertainty

so during the voan food crisis we couldn't afford clean food past the first couple months

you'd think living on a farm would help but it had been a bad year the previous year and none of our crops were coming up that season

shadowed-moonrise

oh. oh.

flameofcertainty

and i tried to force myself to eat the polluted food but i couldn't even make myself touch it

that's not the thing yet

so i was at risk of starving to death

and my mom got one of the neighbors to give her a super sketchy probably-illegal loan

flameofcertainty

because otherwise i might literally die

shadowed-moonrise

fuck

flameofcertainty

fast forward to 3423, the neighbor comes and asks for the money back

actually he'd been doing that for a while but she'd been able to put him off

we were super not going to be able to pay it back

and the loan was sketchy enough that she wasn't really sure what would happen if she didn't

just that it would probably be worse than normal

i

i told her i thought it would be okay

when she asked

flameofcertainty

if she

flameofcertainty

people remember fall 3422 as the introduction of the orvaran system

that was just lathande

spring 3423 was when they rolled it out everywhere

even small farming towns need someone to collect garbage, and the jobs paid really well

they had to, if they wanted to find enough people

i thought i'd be okay

shadowed-moonrise

oh

fuck.

flameofcertainty

yeah

flameofcertainty

i was really really wrong

so wrong

shadowed-moonrise

......yeah wow

flameofcertainty

that's why i wound up moving in with a friend, if i'd stayed there a week longer i'd

it wouldn't have been good

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

flameofcertainty

they didn't try to stop me

which is good

would've been silly for them to go to all that work just for me to end up dead anyways

shadowed-moonrise

hey you survived

flameofcertainty

i did

shadowed-moonrise

it was super worth it for them to do it becuase you survived

flameofcertainty

yeah

i know intellectually she's clean

but trying to be in the same room as dad or my older brother is about the same as lighting myself on fire, brain-wise

and if it's her it's worth

*worse

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

can you talk to them online or does that not work either

flameofcertainty

not really

flameofcertainty

they have my email address

they tell me things like 'you have a sister now'

she tried leaving the job once she had enough money to pay the guy back

flameofcertainty

to see if it would help, you know

flameofcertainty

it. uh. didn't.

shadowed-moonrise

yeah.

i was born in 23, which. is good. because if i found out i/my parents had eaten polluted food when i was a baby

shadowed-moonrise

colorjustice says that almost all unverifiable food was actually not polluted but

shadowed-moonrise

well maybe if i payed them enough i could go through the like fucking six month cleaning process? and maybe after that it would be okay?

but im not sure it would be enough

flameofcertainty

yeah

i know what you mean

if i'd been a year younger and they'd told me it was clean i'd've believed them

if i'd been a year older i'd probably just have killed myself

flameofcertainty

one of my friends from the treatment program

uh

didn't make it

shadowed-moonrise

i had a friend in school

who was hyper, worse than me

way worse

shadowed-moonrise

he was *going to school* but just barely, he had to take a bunch of meds with a bunch of side effects to get out of the house at all

shadowed-moonrise

and he was a year older than me

flameofcertainty

oh no

shadowed-moonrise

so their class learned about the food crisis? and he left school that day like normal and he took the train home and he got in the shower with his clothes on and took all his meds at once

flameofcertainty

oh no

shadowed-moonrise

they told me he killed himself but nobody would *tell me why* because like i was hyper too and they were worried about copycat stuff

i stayed in touch with his mom, she told me later

she FOUND him

flameofcertainty

i'm so so sorry

shadowed-moonrise

that

shadowed-moonrise

i cant imagine

finding your dead child

it was pretty hard on me but she was really never the same

flameofcertainty

yeah

wow

that's

i don't really have words

:(

:( :( :(

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

he was an only child

flameofcertainty

:(

:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

shadowed-moonrise

i think they were sort of saving for another credit but they ended up spending a lot of money on like, building a room for him where he would feel clean, and stuff

and afterwards, it's not like she was going to have another kid after what happened

flameofcertainty

right

shadowed-moonrise

they wanted to take me out of class for the segment on the food crisis for, you know, obvious reasons, but that was winter when i was three and i’d already found out from like being online and reading stuff so i guessed what it was? and they freaked the fuck out when i was like “are you just worried about me finding out about the voan food crisis”

flameofcertainty

were they hoping to just ... pretend it never happened? forever?

it's not like it's easy not to learn about, if you use the internet

shadowed-moonrise

i guess i was going to Find Out When I Was Older

or something

shadowed-moonrise

i mean i understand the thinking there, like the last time was horrible and i could really just have found out later

shadowed-moonrise

the last time being my friend

flameofcertainty

yeah

i see where they were coming from

flameofcertainty

my school kept me out of class for anything pollution-related but obviously they weren't going to stop me from finding out about the food crisis

shadowed-moonrise

......yeah

i am so sorry you had to live through that

flameofcertainty

thanks

flameofcertainty

my parents thought about having me do online school while it was happening

shadowed-moonrise

it was like really really irresponsible to just tell my friend and i’m like not sure what happened there

flameofcertainty

i don't know

flameofcertainty

mesosensitives can be really bad at guessing what's going to hurt us

shadowed-moonrise

part of it is just that grey schools aren’t that well equipped for..... dealing with....... disability, i guess?

flameofcertainty

i had a classmate who thought it would help me not starve if she vividly described what it was like to eat polluted food

shadowed-moonrise

..........what

flameofcertainty

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

i mean, i guess it’s good that they tried to help

but. WHAT

flameofcertainty

our teacher moved the seating chart so i wouldn't have to sit next to her

and gave me permission to not go to the cafeteria during lunch

but yeah, i am really not sure how she came to that conclusion

shadowed-moonrise

yeah wow

flameofcertainty

i guess if she thought i was going to starve to death unless she did something

shadowed-moonrise

sometimes i wish i could just live in a hyper colony

shadowed-moonrise

even though like i’m sort of a weird hyper? they might have called it sensitivity disorder nos if i didn’t take so many decontam showers for no reason

but it would still be BETTER

flameofcertainty

there would be a lot of nice things about that

on the other hand sometimes i hear about a hyper person thinking something is polluted and my brain decides 'oh, they must be right'

even though it was fine before

and i bet that would happen a lot more

shadowed-moonrise

oh no

shadowed-moonrise

if we all thought that the UNION of the things we thought were polluted were polluted.......

we would die very quickly, i guess

flameofcertainty

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

“oh this one guy (MADE UP) said water is polluted so uh goodbye cruel world i guess”

flameofcertainty

and even without that we'd need robots or something

to take care of garbage

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

i think robots are more of a political problem than a technological one, maybe we could get away with “look we’re a hyper colony we can’t even TALK TO THE OUTSIDE WORLD most days much less murder anybody”

flameofcertainty

i think it's like

flameofcertainty

if people spent a decade developing them then they'd have them

but they aren't mostly, because of the politics

shadowed-moonrise

right that makes sense

flameofcertainty

i'm fine with mesosensitives most days, but then *sometimes* it's like they decided to figure out how to be maximally terrible

shadowed-moonrise

honestly so many jobs should be automated not bc pollution but just bc they could be and those people could then do a more skilled job or live in the country and make art or whatever but we can’t build robots at all bc of the political thing

like assembly lines could go a lot more automated than they are and then we’d just be richer and fewer as a society

shadowed-moonrise

i feel very Solidarity with hypos but sometimes..... they too........ are the worst

maybe we could get nice hypos for our colony to take care of us

flameofcertainty

maybe

flameofcertainty

there are totally nice hypos but there are also hypos who do things like put untagged photos of pollution on the internet

shadowed-moonrise

yeah it really varies a lot

shadowed-moonrise

sometimes talking to hypos is calming bc mesos are like “but MY pollution instinct says this isn’t polluted” and that doesn’t help me at all but i have an amateur theologian hypo friend who can just talk me through the theological position and that helps a lot more

flameofcertainty

it's good that you have that

flameofcertainty

and we're not perfect either

there are hypersensitives who think orvaran system workers need to all be executed

or that if you don't do [insert absurdly specific thing here] you're not really hyper

flameofcertainty

like i can't handle being around mom but i don't want people to murder her

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

i definitely like

think that there’s an objective position on pollution

shadowed-moonrise

and it’s probably not exactly the theological one but it’s closer to that than to my paranoia

shadowed-moonrise

and honestly like... i *get* it but it just takes an insane amount of arrogance to be like, “of all the billions and billions of people with pollution instincts, mine is the objective truth and everybody else, including an entire scientific field, is wrong”

flameofcertainty

mm

flameofcertainty

oh i also saw this one person saying everyone alive during the food crisis needed to be executed

that one was "fun"

shadowed-moonrise

oh my fucking

fuck that person so much

also how are they planning to run society after they’ve killed everyone over four???????

flameofcertainty

i don't know???

shadowed-moonrise

also i feel a lot of people with proposals involving doing lots of murder........... fail to account for the fact that corpses are polluted

flameofcertainty

yeah

flameofcertainty

anyways

how's life been

shadowed-moonrise

a WONDERFUL PRETTY NICE blue hired me and i might maybe have a crush

flameofcertainty

eeeee congratulations!

shadowed-moonrise

i don’t know how to approach this tho

“hey baby...... i would have sex with you for free (on a good day)”

flameofcertainty

uh

if they've hired you a couple times you could ask? or something?

flameofcertainty

i am kind of bad at relationship advice

shadowed-moonrise

yes i think that i will actually do is like

wait a while and see if he contacts me

and then maybe ask him out or something

flameofcertainty

good luck!!

shadowed-moonrise

how’ve you been

shadowed-moonrise

also, i saw you post an out of stock green and purple scarf and i could try to make you something like it

i can’t do literally that but i’m thinking like getting some white silk and waxing designs on it and then dyeing it one color and then drawing on the designs in the other

this might be totally the wrong way to go about it but it sounds fun

flameofcertainty

gosh, that's really nice of you

flameofcertainty

if you ended up doing this i'd have a couple of sensitivity-related materials requests but i don't think any of them would actually make the project impossible

shadowed-moonrise

i think that kind of project would be fun rn, what are your materials requests?

flameofcertainty

the main one is not from [link to list of countries that have done cleaning and integrated ex-reds]

or eles decontaminatable

*else

but i think that might mess up the dyes?

shadowed-moonrise

ok i can do that

yeah i think it’s probably easier to just buy from not those countries than to try to... decontaminate..... dyes

shadowed-moonrise

like most commercial clothes are decontaminatable and........ have colors but they know what they’re doing and i do not

flameofcertainty

yeah

uh

now i want to do something nice for you, help

shadowed-moonrise

umm i really like [space shoenberg], you could record yourself playing one of his pieces? although idk how much you can do that on just violin

flameofcertainty

i'll try my best

maybe i can find an arrangement or something

shadowed-moonrise

that’s so nice of you

you don’t have to, i’ll like, enjoy the project anyway

i’m not sure how to make green and purple work well as a color combo, do you mind if there’s other colors?

[narcasse-archive]

ABOUT ME

tagged by: @cuinceredir thank you ~ <33

IN GENERAL:

REAL NAME: Some of you knows, but if you don’t, you’ll just have to find out ~

NICKNAMES: Light, Autumn, Lyze.

SEXUALITY: Demisexual/Pansexual/Asexual/Sapiosexual ( Im not really familiar to these terms so Im not sure that to tag them ;w;)

PREFERRED PRONOUNS: She/her

ARE YOU A MORNING PERSON?: Very! I prefer to get up very early in the morning to finish tasks so I can retire earlier.

WHEN SWIMMING, DO YOU PREFER TO DO IT IN THE OCEAN, OR IN A LAKE?: Love it all, would have it all. Yep.

ON TUMBLR:

ANYONE YOU WOULD LIKE TO MEET IN REAL LIFE?: @oath-of-three-arrows, @wxiren, @unproficientflirt and @purgatorytwins. Some of them have been very long time friends, sparingly in contact but ALWAYS comfortable & a joy to talk to. I’m a very ?? Free born kind of person? and hate being tied down so open relationships works best for me. I also hope to meet @artisthief in RL REAL soon when she come to visit my country!

ANYONE YOU HAVE MET IN REAL LIFE?: Yes! But none of them are here on tumblr sadly, I’ve 1 friend from Hong Kong, 2 from Saudi Arabia ( and they’re coming here again soon, can you imagine!?!?! ). and about 3-4 locals whom was a BLESSING to meet because I haven’t really met people on Tumblr that’s from my country?

WHEN DID YOU FIRST JOIN? I was pulled in by @laprincesseduchapelier back when we met in Facebook! No regrets though Tumblr ruined my life (kinda xD)

YOUR CURRENT ACCOUNT?: narcasse, and 2 other blogs, one canon and one OC. and half a dozen inactive ones.

ANY PEEVES?: 

people who says they want to plot but are unwilling to participate in plotting

‘yeah/whatever’ kind of answer

People who I cant really understand their logic (and sometimes I ask; you’ll be amused what answers I get)

muns that rp but refuses to talk ooc

adult/minor ships (like ew, its disgusting) a 19 yr old and 17 year old is okay but when the age gap is like 25 and 16 Im going to have a problem with it. At least...if you go SEXUAL in that kind of ship it disgusts me.

poorly-scripted smut. (I usually block those posts) 

UNPOPULAR OPINION: I hate the trend of pretty blog = good writer and the prevalent knowledge that cute/baby muses and sexually appealing characters get more attention on Tumblr -- and while I dont usually play innocent or children muses, their MUNS makes many of my good friends & how dare society treat them like that >:

FEELINGS:

DO YOU EASILY GET JEALOUS?: Quicker than you can say “Ah”

DO YOU EASILY GET ANGRY?: I used to, now I am without temper; when I’m ‘angry’ it’s only passively visible though that’s usually not my intentions, I lost control of my emotions.

ARE YOU EASY TO CHEER UP?: YeSSs. I get happy at the tiniest thing like a good friend saying ‘Hello!’ I suck. I really do.

ARE YOU GOOD AT HIDING YOUR EMOTIONS?: Not really. I’m an open book and people can tell what I think easily; though It’s more advantageous of me if I go into ‘temper-less’ mode.

WHAT’S THE VERY BEST WAY TO CHEER YOU UP?: Just be nice, be honest and sincerely. I’ll cry you a river.

RELATIONSHIPS:

ARE YOU CURRENTLY IN A RELATIONSHIP?: Nope

DO YOU CURRENTLY HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE: Yesh ;^) a dude who’s a literally RL-version of Narsus. I’ve crushed on him for almost a year now.

IF YES, MIGHT THAT SOMEONE BE READING THIS?: No, he’s humourless and a hUGE workaholic. He doesn’t have an internet life - he’s an in RL acquaintance.

DO YOU KISS ON THE FIRST DATE?: Truth be told the image of me kissing anyone is just.... ew.

DO YOU PREFER GOING OUT, OR STAYING HOME, WHEN IT COMES TO DATES?: Going out. Watch a movie. Walk in the park; but what I really enjoy is simply being able to have long-winded talks with my date. It doesn’t matter where we are.

THINGS:

FAVORITE DRINK: greentea, lemonade, latte

FAVORITE FOOD: I eat anything and everything. Not really picky here x’3

Repost, Do Not Reblog

TAGGING: Feel free to steal ovo //