#or Im actually getting with time loop feedback

[vicsep7250]

Anyone else get hit with just huge amounts of deja vu randomly for no reason with seemingly little to no pattern for its occurance?

[briefcasejuice]

ive been seeing improvements in my reaction to my medication in the sense that i haven't complained about anything in the past four days and im actually washing the dishes and showering again (brushing my teeth is still an issue but you win some you loose some) + it only took me a few days to get something done instead of weeks or months but then i had a a minor car accident today (not my fault logically and in terms of what happened but legally my fault based on how it works. if that makes sense) and all that progress is gone now lol

[lacyblades]

౨ৎ number neighbor!satoru who's phone pinged one night.

hii number neighbor wna see my tits – the drunk text swam blearily in satoru's memory. he'd been hammered that night, just as you, but that message had cut through the haze. what the hell had he sent back?

oh, right. what any horny twenty-something loser would: a not-so-unsolicited dick pic. that's the ridiculously messy way your love story actually kicks off.

it snowballed from there. dumb, suggestive texts morphed into something more intense. "was thinking of u td" bled into "i need u so bad baby." he'd send you a shaky video of himself stroking to a nude you'd sent earlier, and you'd fire back a clip of yourself getting off to him getting off. a digital feedback loop of pure lust.

he's practically vibrating with need these days, phone permanently glued to his hand, high on every little thing you give him. satoru wasn't exactly a social butterfly before, but now?

forget it. his friends probably think he's fallen off the face of the earth. it's gotta be unhealthy, the sheer number of times he's jerked himself raw for you, right?

and yet, he couldn't care less. he'll happily lose hours tangled in his sheets, fisting his hard, veiny cock, chasing another desperate orgasm in the dark. the glow of his phone screen reflects in his slipping glasses.

trying to text and touch himself at the same time is his personal brand of hell, but you keep the messages coming anyway, guiding him with your words because you know he's reading every single one.

even though you can't really control what he does, satoru doesn't cum until you tell him to. on the really good days, you'll send a video of yourself completely undone. fingers slick and deep inside, rubbing that swollen little clit in circles, your moans and whimpers a soundtrack in the background.

the cherry on top is when you finally climax, that wet squirt hitting your phone camera. you send it with a casual hope ur happy now im gonna have to clean off my phone :/

his reply is instant: "yk if i were there i cld clean it up"

then, a beat later: "...with my mouth"

and again, just to be crystal clear: "if that wasnt a given"

it would be almost pathetic, how bad he is at flirting, if you didn't find satoru kind of endearing in his desperation. he's just relieved it never kills the mood.

your number neighbor has no idea what you look like, but if your pussy is that pretty, your face has to be something else entirely.

[wisteria-lodge]

youve probably been asked this before but im pretty stumped on it. if draco were to have a patronus what would it be? doesnt have to be a well thought out answer. im leaning more towards something birdlike.

This is absolute headcanon stuff, but I think it's fun if your patronus and your Animagus form don't match. Your Animagus form reflects who you are as a person in some way, and your Patronus reflects what (or who) protects you. Like the wolf *does* protect Remus (even though he's conflicted about this.) The memory of Lily does protect Severus, in the sense that it's the cornerstone of his morality system and the reason Dumbledore trusts him. I think this could help explain why the patronuses of couples shift to match, you feel protected by the other person, etc.

(this means that Harry's Patronus form is courtesy of a time travel/paradox/feedback loop: He thought his dad was across the river protecting him, and so his Patronus takes the form of his dad.)

So if I'm thinking about Draco's Patronus, I'm thinking - what protects Draco? If it's early-books "Wait Till My Father Hears About This" Draco, I think it's just his father. If he had cast a Patronus in Book 3 like Harry, it would have evoked Lucius in some way. (So, a peacock. It would have been a white peacock.)

Sixth year though, he's no longer protected by his father. What protects Draco during the last two books is his ability to fade into the background, run from danger, and be underestimated by the people around him. He can survive very harsh and unforgiving environments by carving out just enough to keep himself and his people alive.

Which is why (because I also get Bird vibes from Draco.) I think his Patronus should be a pigeon.

Like, a fancy pigeon. He is also protected by his ~look~ and his ~aesthetics~. But a pigeon.

They can survive anything. They can adapt. They're something that was bred for this very specialized, posh purpose and then kinda just abandoned... but they make it work, and live in the most inhospitable cities by running away from danger, staying under the radar, faking injuries to get stuff (sounds like someone we know...) and even building their nests on anti-pigeon spikes.

I've always thought that the core of Draco was actually something down-to-earth and practical, and a pigeon would reflect that.

also Draco would hate having a pigeon as a Patronus and it would be very very funny

[askoverkill]

entirely unrelated to this but i was going to run my own AU thing in a similar style to yours, with asks giving input, but my AU actually has... combat. and i was wondering if you would have any suggestion as to how i would handle that to be the right balance of not-tedious (actually a little tedious it IS isat) but also not-nonexistent

// awesome! I love to hear people are making more projects. We need more works in the world. I hope you have fun 💖

// firstly, I want to talk about interaction. Using online feedback as a feature in the story has its ups and downs. The best advice I can give is tell the story YOU want to tell first most.

// If you need to send your own asks or post as a post instead, do so! It's super cool to get people to be creative and push the story in ways you'd never expect, it's rewarding and creative for both sides in the collaboration BUT ultimately, you are the director of the story.

// try to give every post a purpose. If you can fit more than one, the better. Does the post have a joke? Is it progressing the plot? Is there a fun character interaction? If it doesn't have anything, rethink your approach to it. Sometimes a post HAS to be set up for a later scene, but try to make it entertaining or introspective or something in addition.

(I'm struggling with this as we repeat plot beats. As a timeloop story, repetition is necessary to give what DOES change have importance. I'm still figuring out what's the best approach and how much to change each loop.)

Formatting: find a work flow that works best for you! I'm used to boring repetition and edits so Im fine making my blog so image heavy like this. Text works fine!!!! What matters the most is readability and your convince! Stories are already a LOT of work, don't give yourself anything more than necessary!

// PACE yourself. It's not a contest and you are doing this for free and for fun. If you're not feeling up to it, don't make anything. Breaks are a part of the process. I'm mega ADHD hyperfixating distraction coping and I AM NOT a good example of productivity. Don't judge yourself for your output. Focus on having fun and interacting with others.

// OK General askblog advice aside, now to focus on your actual question. It'd really depend on what you're comfortable with and the level of interaction you want for the story.

// it's important to remember this is a completely different format and medium than a video game. If you tried to make it into a video game you're going to fail. A fight in-game will have a hundred little inputs within minutes while an askblog takes IRL time between posts and asks.

// Polls have a minimum of 24 hours so they're a bit inconvenient for quick engagement like with askblogs let alone fights! If you really need fights, then simplify a single turn into an ask? A whole fight? Maybe spin a wheel or flip a coin? Maybe, since it's an ask format, have fans suggest outcomes and pick what's the most entertaining?

// alternatively, skip combat and just have it happen between posts. You've got a ton of options, and I'm sure there's way more I hadn't considered.

// work with what you've got and don't be afraid to simplify or ask for more advice. If anyone else has suggestions, feel free to shoot some here! Best wishes! 👌

[supremefloof]

YOU....

e-soul, what's his deal? spoilers for ep.4 and 5 trailer - big analysis post. ~1300 words

so, the slight difference in colors DOES matter. I thought they were just like, time-related or maybe changed based on if powers were being used, but no. interestingly we have seen both these designs in 3d/canon - the gray one in the trailers and the blue/yellow one in episode 3.

i think it's safe to say that at least in some way, Blue and Gray are two different entities, but a ton of other Crazy Director Li Bullshit is totally possible alongside this.

he's got some kind of themes with duality. yk, just maybe. easiest answer is that "oh he's got an evil half" but that seems too straightforwards? i find it really interesting that in ep.3, his "nemesis" that firm man kills on accident looks like him! presumably on purpose for some aesthetic reason.

Section 1: the random guy from the trailer!

off the new episode preview, it seems like the pov we follow is gonna be some guy who also becomes e-soul, somewhat similar to nice. most likely, he becomes Blue E-soul.

in episode 3, Firm Man is called to help out E-soul who is listed with "mighty glory" despite him being with Treeman. so organizations do work together to some extent? put a pin in this!

he looks like such a loser... and notably he has all his limbs intact whereas gray e-soul has fake arm(s?).

we get a good bit of his backstory:

Gray E-soul probably saved him - while being incredibly sus and murdery.

so, no way to know if this guy even LIKES e-soul. he either idolizes him or he's traumatized.

i mean. he does follow his example, so maybe he got inspired, but im getting ahead of myself

He's got a friendship with some little kid who looks like Lin Ling! they could be brothers - maybe this is the answer to what happened to Lin Ling's family after he faked his death? this would also affect L0 in hindsight because he's not just a "normal guy". this could also just be some other kid.

Section 2: OG E-soul

straight-up, Gray E-Soul is probably old. hella old. maybe even pre-commission, whatever the "commission" is. he's described as a "hero of legend".

Gray E-soul seems morally gray as well, seen by how he's totally killing those guys in front of a child. which, TOTALLY made me instantly think: what if Gray E-soul isn't even an actual hero (unlikely) but instead just Blue E-soul's inspiration. OR vice-versa. maybe his methods are really brutal/controversial. maybe he's retiring.

something related to this might be the cause of this line:

E-soul also has associations with the cross! i'm not religious and I don't know what that symbolizes, but it did set off analysis alarm bells.

ALSO. this could be interpreted heavily as a cross, but i see it more as a four-point star thingy. which idk what that could mean on it's own, except i dont have to because

X is already associated with this! and also, associated with THIS GUY, who e-soul fights in the pv!

Section 3: Zero + Singularity Theory

I'll call him Zero because that's the only name we got. it's possible "gray e-soul" is actually Zero and blue e-soul is e-soul but... idk doubt it. this guy has a ton of religious imagery. loads. they seem to be like... black hole related?

Zero seems to have this false savior kind of vibe in their creepy human form. in general, they seem a lot more large-scale + cosmic than anyone we've seen so far (except X, maybe?)

the first concept I thought of was the technological singularity.

wikipedia blurb that explains everything actually:

"The technological singularity—or simply the singularity[1]—is a hypothetical point in time at which technological growth becomes uncontrollable and irreversible, resulting in unforeseeable consequences for human civilization.[2][3] According to the most popular version of the singularity hypothesis, I. J. Good's intelligence explosion model of 1965, an upgradable intelligent agent could eventually enter a positive feedback loop of successive self-improvement cycles; more intelligent generations would appear more and more rapidly, causing a rapid increase ("explosion") in intelligence which would culminate in a powerful superintelligence, far surpassing all human intelligence.[4]"

this could be relevant because E-soul is literally like. electric and cyborg, but also! A singularity is the thing we theorize to be at the center of a black hole.

the singularity is increasingly talked about especially regarding AI, and the point where AI becomes self-sufficient/aware. This could be really juicy commentary, and personal character angst for og e-soul if he ends up not being totally organic and super duper old.

something something singularity -> technology -> X

The singularity could be good, or bad. paired with E-soul's duality theme, and X's weird 1 frame cutaway with this guy in the opening, well.

X can break the fourth wall. for a character in a story, isn't awareness kind of like the Ultimate Knowledge? ultimate intelligence - like a singularity. whoever holds the title of X gets stronger and stronger every year, with the popularity of Heroes increasing and people constantly getting stronger. I think this is the cycle where X has reached a turning point.

X is also constantly seen on electric billboards and drinking his drinks lmfao. that theory where he's a mascot, omg i can't find it in all the posts but credit to that person @warabito!! it's been living in my head rent free. if X is a created hero that would certainly fit this!! literal singularity.

explosions - Zero, but also the sudden explosion in trust value for X.

Meanwhile, I think Zero is the reason for the commission. X and Zero might be associated because they are narrative foils? @awkwardambivert789 said that X could want to tear down the Hero system. in this way -wanting to destroy heroes- they could be similar! also Zero is eclipse associated and dark, while X is all white

this is total speculation atp, but I think that Gray E-soul could be the reason for the system as we know it in some shape or form. when people say "we're all counting on you, E-soul" in the PV, I think that's a singular, utterly extraordinary instance where E-soul gets insanely powerful for one moment to defeat somebody outside his weight class. He prevents the singularity (using a four-point star thing!!), but is also a shining example that people can point to for the Trust Value system. again total speculation though.

Section 4: Speculation on Blue vs. Gray

I think this is a case where Gray E-soul is alive, but retired. like, maybe this is an instance where people KNOW Blue is Not The Same as Gray. This would explain why a supposed "legend" is not X but instead #9 below a dog with a hat 💀

Okay, I think it's fair to say that Gray E-Soul is a little messed up + in need of therapy. that's why it's SO INSANELY INTERESTING that BLUE E-SOUL KILLS MOON. he saw OG e-soul killing people and said "bet"

DOESN'T TREEMAN HELP U OUT? IS LIN LING OKAY???? WHY DID YOU DO THAT TO HER. AREN'T YOU A GOOD GUY? LOOK, EPISODE 3 HE'S A GOOD BOY

Director Li does this thing where he really, REALLY likes to withhold information and mislead the viewer (very rarely to the detriment of the material, but often just makes it really nail-biting and hooks you to the next episode. Link Click is very similar!). this is where what we know presents LOTS of interesting directions, but no concrete, probable paths.

Maybe E-Soul did it in some part because they know Lin Ling. Maybe this is because the Treeman boss said he'd handle the Moon problem, and sent both a hero to publicly rescue Moon AND a hero to straight up make her Actually Dead since Mighty Glory has been shown to collaborate with Treeman.

The Treeman boss is like. totally part of Spotlight right...? maybe that's how they found Moon, like w/ the power of fear the same way they found Enlighter's reddit cave

maybe if we take E-Soul's PV at face value, then Blue and Gray are enemies! it could be that Gray sees Blue as their personal demon or something like that, seeing how Blue makes Gray's modern armor crack. fear of replacement, or Gray doesn't like the kind of person Blue is?

the theme of replacement could be applied to tbhx as a whole.

All this loss of life + killing and edgy history... somebody ship them with ghostblade i don't make the rules

thanks for coming to my ted talk!

[stump-not-found]

you mentioned once before how you think ford makes bill worse... do you mind explaing how/genq (this is NOT an attack in any form or way! youer characterisations of bill and ford have been ON POINT every chapter that gets realsed and every comic you draw... im really curious as to how ford makes bill worse to understand it too)

i unfortunately do not remember saying this ! i say a lot of things with my mouth

i do think those two are like an emotional feedback loop . kind of got crabs in a bucket vibes, if the crabs were stabbing each other, and the bucket was also stabbing the crabs . at first it was fun but then one crab said "i don't want to stab anymore" and the other one went "FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU" . like you do . im prolly gonna ramble a bit so shoving it under the readmore lol

hrmmm if i had to guess it's probably just the fact that ford is not a great dude . and he genuinely just likes bill's attitude and behaviors, even the nasty stuff . because it's really gratifying to be around someone who sees your hard edges, and instead of being repelled by that they're like . fuck yeah . then you both just feed into that infinitely and giggle for ever lalala . it's not even like ford broke the cycle willingly he just got his feelings hurt about bill lying and bill decided to blow his entire shit up because he's just a sad, pathetic coward . will do anything to protect his stupid ego even if it means ruining everything all the time constantly . sure you could have gotten everything u ever wanted but that would have required you looking even a lil vulnerable so honestly man you honestly should just blow up your office building tbqh

also i genuinely don't know that bill has had many people in his life that actually like him so i gotta believe ford was like the worst drug known to man: validation

all this being said i'm not really someone who likes to think of any one person as like . bad or evil . it's reductive and boring, for both bill and ford . bill's definitely worse but he's also not human ?? not that that really matters because humans do some incredibly heinous shit . there's not a one-sized-fits-all moral answer here . also bill's just silly he's just a silly guy

so yah if ford makes bill worse its probably just that he's the one guy who's gonna hear bill say "just don't call me late for dinner" and actually laugh for real at that joke . and then also goes into a whole worship kink which i cannot imagine helped the bill situation at all . like idk what i would do if i met the literal smartest guy in the world & he built me a basement shrine with little to no prompting just because i gave him an epic blowjob . i think i would also go insane

well actually no i would hate that . personally . but i'm not a triangle . maybe being a triangle makes that like . normal and fun who knows

[megalony]

Little Dragon

This is a new Aegon Targaryen imagine I hope you will all like, feedback is always lovely.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez-blog @jonesyaddiction @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me  @hellsdragon @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh @onceuponadetectivedemigod @ceres27 @avyannadawn  @noonenuts @sleepylunarwolf @coverupps @justagirlthatlovedtoread

Masterlist

Summary: Aegon doesn't want to be King, he doesn't want to be anything, except a father. Looking after his little girl is the one thing he knows he can do. And when they all attend a ball and a fight breaks out, Aegon protects her.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Aegon…"

A quiet grumble passed his pale lips while his body turned towards the voice he could recognise in his sleep. His arm lazily reached out until his hand could curl around (Y/n)'s hip and his legs tangled in the sheets so he could scoot closer towards her.

When he realised she was sitting up, Aegon cracked an eye open to make sure she didn't have the babe in her arms before he tightened his arm around her waist and wrenched her back down. He smiled at the squeak (Y/n) let out and he emitted another groan when he felt her fingers tangling in his locks. He nuzzled his face into the crook of her neck and looped his leg around (Y/n)'s waist, effectively pinning her down to the bed.

"You need to get up, love." (Y/n) curled her fingers through Aegon's hair and kissed the top of his head when he murmured something incoherent against her skin.

He looked more peaceful now than he had done for the past few days and (Y/n) begrudged telling him he needed to move, but she knew soon enough if he didn't get up people would come looking for him. But when he curled around her like this, gripping her flesh tightly and rutted against her, (Y/n) couldn't break away.

This was the longest nights sleep Aegon had had in weeks. His father's failing health had taken a toll on everybody but when he passed and the crown was forced onto Aegon's head, he started to fall.

His marriage to (Y/n) was the one thing that stopped Aegon from drinking himself into an early grave. She brought the light back to his violet eyes and put colour back to his cheeks. She made him smile for the first time in years and showed him what it was truly like to be loved and not just wanted and desired as an object to move around the board. (Y/n) didn't use him for political points or push him to her advantage.

She loved him.

Then when Araela was born, Aegon perked up and changed into someone better, someone nobody had ever seen before. He loved his little girl to the end of the Earth and now they had a son, Aegon was briefly elated before he crashed back down when he was crowned King.

The ceremony took place three days ago and since then, Aegon barely spoke, barely ate and refused to leave his chambers.

He didn't want to be King, he wished Aemond was the older brother or that Aemond would just usurp him and take the iron throne for himself. He would make a better King than Aegon could ever be and he actually wanted the birth right Aegon had been given. But he was crowned now and there was nothing that could be done.

For a few minutes, (Y/n) basked in the feeling of her husband curled around her like he was one of their children and not the King, heir to the Iron throne. She raked her fingers through his tangled silver hair and kissed the top of his head as Aegon slowly started to wake up beside her.

He wanted to stay in bed all day but he knew his mother would be walking up the stairs at this very moment to come and scold him for not being up yet.

"Don't leave me," Aegon grumbled quietly into (Y/n)'s neck and he felt her chuckle vibrate through his chest and her lips on his forehead again.

"I'm just going to fetch Vaeron," With a lasting kiss to his temple, (Y/n) slowly unravelled herself from him so she could go get the newborn from the crib at the foot of the bed.

For a moment, (Y/n) thought her husband would flop back down and nestle into the pillows like a baby bird. But instead, he slowly shuffled over until he was laid on his back, propped up against the pillows. It seemed he was going to try and stay awake now and as surprising as it was, it was also relieving and (Y/n) smiled softly at him.

When he was in this sort of mood it took a lot to persuade him to get out of bed. (Y/n) never pushed him. If he wanted to sleep she would let him be and stay if he requested. If he didn't want to eat she would fetch him something to drink so he didn't make himself too ill and if he didn't want to talk, she would hold him until the storm in his mind passed over.

No one understood the torment Aegon was going through or what they were all putting him through and (Y/n), for one, would never act towards him as others did. They pretended he was being childish or having a tantrum when he was just broken and being forced into a world he couldn't function in.

(Y/n) found that when she comforted and tried to understand Aegon, he didn't try to drown himself in wine as much. He wouldn't lash out or cry or scream or throw things in utter frustration if (Y/n) comforted him and listened to what was wrong. It was something he wasn't used to, not even his mother tried to see things from his point of view anymore.

Part of Aegon felt groggy and somewhat ill from the lack of sleep he'd had this week and the amount of sleep he got last night which seemed to do him more harm than good.

But he perked up and managed to smile when (Y/n) sat down on the bed with their son in her arms.

Aegon let his head nestle back into (Y/n)'s shoulder and he feathered his lips against her neck while his arm secured around her waist so he could coil back around her again. He was sure she was about to say something if it hadn't been for their bedroom door bursting open and a flock of silver curls becoming visible near the foot of their bed.

"Kepa!"

It was as if a flame had been set alight within Aegon and the sudden change was instant and very clear. He went from curled up at (Y/n)'s side to sitting up straight with his arms out and one of the purest smiles (Y/n) had ever seen on his face. Something in his eyes sparkled instead of their usual dimness and even his posture lifted when Araela was within his sight.

The four year old clambered onto the bed and crawled over the sheets until she could reach Aegon. Her hands grappled along his legs until his arms were within reach and she didn't see the wince or hear his grumble when she stood on his thighs to get as close to him as she could.

His ring cladded fingers curled around her sides and he hoisted her off his legs so he could cradle her against his chest like she was a toddler again.

She giggled excitedly when he nestled his face against her neck and fluttered kisses on her cheek repeatedly while her arms looped around his neck to hold him closer until she was almost strangling him. But he didn't mind.

"Morning, little dragon,"

Araela gently rubbed her nose against his before Aegon sat her down on his lap, making sure the sheets were pulled high around his waist since he wasn't wearing any clothes underneath. It was frequent during the hot nights like these for Aegon to forgo clothes at night despite knowing that on most occasions, his daughter would try and find her way into his chamber in the morning to greet them both.

"Let me look at you," His words were whispered quietly against her temple while he smoothed his hands across her face and brushed her hair behind her ears so he could look down at her. She knew what he was going to say next, he could tell from the way she tilted her head up and took a deeper, bubbling breath to contain her excitement and love. "Hm, even more beautiful than yesterday, just like your mother."

Her giggle was enough to brighten Aegon's mood significantly and he tilted her head down so that he could kiss her forehead before he looped his arms around her middle and cocooned her into his chest again. This was where he wanted to stay, this was how he wanted to spend his days as King.

He didn't want to be sat on the Iron Throne entertaining the idiots of the council listening to their debates and sorting their messes. He wanted to be sat right here, with his wife and children who made him feel enlightened and worthy when he thought the worst of himself.

"I'm so sorry, your Grace. The Princess was insistent on seeing you both this morning."

Both (Y/n) and Aegon looked across to see their daughter's maid stood at the foot of the bed. Her hands were clasped tightly in front of her, her cheeks were flushed pink and her head was tilted down to look at her feet. She was never sure how close to approach or where to look or if eye contact was even appropriate. And now, since Aegon was King and his moods were uncertain unless his daughter was around, no one knew what to do around him.

Everyone feared objects flying across the room and tempers to flare when really, Aegon didn't have the energy to do any of that. A growl was the worst they would get as of late.

"Not a problem, you may leave. The Princess will stay with us," Aegon dismissed her with a wave of his hand. He would remain here until his mother or grandfather came looking for him and demanded his presence. Until then, Araela would stay with them just like she always did when she sought out her parents. She was never far from them, no matter what was going on.

"Kepa…"

"Yes, my love?" Aegon perched his chin on top of her head while he slowly started to sway them from side to side, much like (Y/n) was currently doing while she nursed Vaeron.

"Am I allowed to the ball tonight?" Araela curled her legs up beneath her and nestled down into her father's bare chest while her fingers skimmed up and down his arms and traced the rings he wore.

Her big round eyes glanced up to look at her mother who pursed her lips to stop herself from smiling. (Y/n) knew nothing could get past her daughter. There was a ball taking place tonight, supposedly in celebration of Aegon's coronation and the only person not looking forward to it was the King himself. Aegon didn't like events being about him and he certainly didn't want a ball in his honour when he didn't even want the throne.

But it was already arranged and taking place so he knew he just had to grin and bear it. Hopefully with his wife by his side and a glass or ten of wine in his hand, it wouldn't be too bad.

"I suppose so, besides, I don't want to go without my two girls." He couldn't see why Araela couldn't go, at least for an hour or so. It was a ball, everyone else would be there and it wasn't like the coronation. It was dancing and music and festivities, she could enjoy it for an hour and then retire back to her room with her maid.

"What about brother?" Her small hand reached out for Vaeron who was nestled in the crook of (Y/n)'s arm, slowly drifting back off to sleep.

"Afraid not, sweetheart. He won't like it," (Y/n) kissed Araela's hand before she glanced over at Aegon. "Kepa will have to pick out a dress for you to wear."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Turning her head, (Y/n) perched her chin on Aegon's shoulder and curled her hands a little tighter around his bicep clad in the leather tunic. She had to admit, after how horrid he had been feeling these past few days and how much of a strain the coronation had took on him, he didn't let it show.

Aegon stood tall beside her, his hands held respectfully in front of him, his shoulders square and broad beneath the black leather that was draped over every inch of his skin. He wore a gold link chain across his shoulders and part way down his chest which was the only spot of colour on his clothing making it stand out more. The boots made him a little taller than he was, almost at Aemond's height. His hair was neat and tidy and brushed behind his ears and his complexion didn't look nearly as ill and deathly as before.

He even had the conquerors sword strapped to his hip, although (Y/n) wasn't sure whether that was just for show or if he was preparing for any unforseen attacks or events happening tonight.

All he needed was the conquers crown on his head and he would look as regal as he did on his coronation. But he refused to wear it. This was as regal as he wanted to look, he didn't want the crown as well.

"Shall we sit down?" Aegon mumbled the words quietly against the shell of (Y/n)'s ear before he slowly guided her towards the table at the far end of the hall.

Every few seconds, his eyes would drift around the room until he found his mother standing just beside the table, Araela stood obedient at her side with a broad smile and their hands entwined. Aegon didn't want to lose sight of his daughter, not for a second. He was counting down the time until she would return to her room and then he and (Y/n) could later retire soon. Aegon wanted this night over and done with.

"You look beautiful, by the way." To say he liked (Y/n)'s dress would be a vast understatement.

Her dress was the darkest shade of green Aegon had ever seen with streaks of gold thread sewn throughout that almost looked like scratch marks from the claws of a dragon. It was low cut down the chest and had very thin straps that hung just off her shoulders and no sleeves due to the immense heat. It hugged her newfound curves and enticed Aegon to the point he was desperate to leave the ball and tear the dress to the floor.

"Thank you,"

As they advanced towards the table, they came to a stop beside Aemond who was stood watching the event closely like he was scouting out any threats. He was always on edge, no matter where he was or what he was doing.

"Brother," He dipped his head towards Aegon before his gaze moved to (Y/n) and he gave a small smile. "Care to dance?"

(Y/n) looked from Aemond to her husband, smiling when Aegon kissed her temple before he nodded and took a step back.

"Go ahead, my love."

She knew better than anyone that Aegon didn't dance. Their wedding ceremony was the only time he had participated in a dance of any sort and although (Y/n) had loved every moment of it, she knew not to ask him again for a dance. He didn't like participating and if people started to look, it put him on edge.

But Aemond, however, didn't care if people stared. He was rather fond of dancing, it was a skill he had mastered and he knew his sister in law was fond of dancing too.

No one else dared to ask (Y/n) to dance. Aemond was the only one who did because he was the only one who wouldn't get watched or glared at by Aegon if he danced with (Y/n). No one liked the glares they would get from the former Prince and now he was King, one wrong look at his wife would earn a punishment no one wanted to take.

(Y/n) took Aemond's outstretched hand and let him guide her towards the dance floor amongst the other dancing couples. It was somewhat charming to be dancing along with everyone else, trying to blend in whilst knowing the pair of them stood out like a sore thumb. (Y/n) loved the music, it was the only reason she could tolerate such big events like these. For Aegon, he suffered through with wine, but (Y/n) drowned everything out with songs.

She wanted to dance again and again and keep going until her feet bled and the night had ended. But two short songs was enough to send her head reeling and her chest heaving which wasn't a good idea when her dress was a little constricting. It had to be adjusted after Vaeron was born and she was barely getting her old figure back yet. Although Aegon loved her figure the way it was now.

"Thank you for the dance, brother."

"My pleasure," (Y/n) gratefully hooked her hand into the crook of Aemond's elbow and let him slowly guide her away from the dance floor and back towards the high table where the rest of their family were sat.

When they reached the table, (Y/n) smiled curiously up at Aemond when a certain grin crooked along his pursed lips and his brow raised like something had just popped into his head.

She watched, intrigued, as Aemond slowly unhooked his arm from hers when she was stood next to Aegon's chair before he rounded the table like a man on a mission. When he reached where his mother was stood, pointing out various objects and important people to Araela, Aemond went down on his knees in front of his niece and held out a hand.

"I do believe no one's asked you for a dance yet, little Princess. Care to dance with me?"

Araela's doe eyes drifted behind her uncle to catch a glimpse of her parents, but the anticipation was undeniable and she couldn't refrain from grinning from ear to ear. Her maid told her she wouldn't be at the ball for very long and her father told her she would mostly stay by their side until it was time for her to leave. She had spent the last few minutes talking with her grandmother about the ball but seeing her mother dance was like a dream. It looked so fun to her even if she was only four.

When she looked at her parents, Aegon nodded with an encouraging smile he saved just for her and (Y/n) nodded and did a small curtsey to remind her daughter to do the same.

With a wobbling curtsey, Araela grabbed Aemond's hand tightly and skipped beside him along to the other dancers, a lot of whom stopped what they were doing when Aemond passed by with his niece. If there hadn't been so many people on the dance floor, and Aemond hadn't been as tall as he was, it would have been fine for him to just lean down and hold her hands while they danced.

But he didn't want people barging past or knocking into his young niece and with his height, it was easier for him to pick her up and sit her on his hip for the first dance. When a few people moved, he would set her back to her feet and let her dance to her heart's content.

Aegon felt the urge to slouch in his seat and prop his feet up on the table like he used to do during supper, but he refrained. It was an important night and so far it was going well. Some people even smiled at him every now and then and his mother looked pleased, he didn't want to ruin that. He could remain regal and restrained for one night.

He downed the wine in his glass and clicked his back into place before he leaned to the right, enough so that he could press his lips against the top of (Y/n)'s head while his hand found hers resting on her lap.

His eyes could look nowhere but at his wife and then his daughter, two of the three most important people in his life.

Something stirred in him when he saw his brother dancing with his daughter, maybe if Araela asked Aegon for a dance, he would be quick to oblige. There was nothing she could ask him for that he would deny her.

"Do you think-" (Y/n) stopped whatever she was about to say when a loud crash rattled through the hall and vibrated off the stone walls.

Her eyes that had admittedly been staring up at her husband moved to scan the hall when she felt Aegon tense and sit straight beside her. His hand clamped down on her leg and his boots dug into the floor, a sure sign he was unnerved.

There was a fight.

Someone had started a fight and as the music died down, raised voices flooded the air instead and words were spat like venom.

Aegon could feel unease and anger radiating through his blood while he pushed up from his chair and advanced round the table, feeling (Y/n) close behind him. He moved one arm to wrap around (Y/n)'s waist, keeping his wife safely stood behind his frame just in case the fight got closer or another broke out. but his other hand was already curled around the handle of the blade strapped to his waist.

This was not the time nor the place for a brawl to happen, it was supposed to be a happy occasion and Aegon had his girls here. He wouldn't have fighting in front or around them.

He wasn't sure where to look, Aegon couldn't keep his eyes focused or in check. He tried to look towards the fight since more men were piling around creating a circle around those who started it but others were jumping in. Throwing punches, pushing others to the side and using enough force to splatter blood on the stone floor.

But then his eyes scoured the dance floor where dancing couples had stopped and gathered together. Some were trying to run and leave, others were glued to the floor unsure where to go and some were shouting obscenities.

Aegon could still see his brother.

Aemond had both his hands tightly clamped down on Araela's shoulders so he didn't lose her for even half a second and her quivering frame was tucked into her uncle's legs for safety. After a heartbeat, Aemond gave her a small nudge and started to walk across the dance floor, bypassing the other people to try and reach his family near the table which was out of the way of the brawl.

When he was close enough to the brawl to see what was happening, Aegon let go of (Y/n), about to push into the circle of people until his eyes glanced back towards his brother.

With his hands still on his niece's shoulders, Aemond twisted her to the side and tensed his back to shield her from a couple of stumbling fools. But the brute force of them bashing into Aemond toppled Araela down to her hands and knees.

The four year old's scream was so delicate and quiet compared to the hustle and bustle crowding the hall but Aegon heard it as if it was the only noise for miles around. She screamed when she fell and again when Aemond hoisted her up just before someone took a step back, about to stand on the little princess.

Changing his course, Aegon ran down the steps and reached his brother just as he hurried from the crowd with simmering anger raging in his eye. If his niece wasn't so young, Aemond would have branded his sword for the disrespect and the sheer amount of people pushing past and knocking her down when they knew how young she was and more to the point, who she was.

"Come here," Aegon breathed through the words as his girl was passed into his arms and he quickly kissed her temple before rushing to place her into (Y/n)'s waiting arms instead.

(Y/n) coiled her daughter to her chest, repeatedly kissing the back of her head while she watched Aemond disappear to both Alicent and Haelena's side and escort them out before things got worse. But when her focus shifted back to her husband, she could see the rage pouring off of him in waves.

He roughly barged his way through the circling crowd until he reached the two that were still pummelling fists into each other.

The guards should be here, dealing with this, not Aegon. Instead, they were trying to move people out of the way and help escort the rest of the family out to safety. But this needed containing and Aegon's calm demanour had disappeared the moment his daughter got mixed into this mess.

If she weren't here, Aegon would have been calmer. Hell, he probably wouldn't have left his seat, he would have let the guards deal with this and with a wave of his hand he would have got them to leave and the party would continue. But with his daughter here, things changed. He wouldn't have her around when this was happening, he wouldn't stand for her being hurt or frightened like this. And if these men didn't stop within the next ten seconds, Aegon would see blood spill and he didn't care for the consequences.

"Enough!"

He barely felt the elbow to the stomach he received, his adrenaline and rage made up for the air being knocked out of him. Trying again, Aegon grabbed one of the men by the scruff of his neck and he brandished his knife in his other hand, pressing the tip so far into the man's neck that blood started to dribble across the blade.

"I said, enough!"

With a growl, Aegon tossed the larger man down on his back on the floor and pinned him down with a knee jabbed into the top of his chest. He almost smiled when he saw how hard it was for the idiot to breathe and he tilted the blade at a different angle so it was covering the circumference of the man's neck, ready to slice when and if Aegon felt like it.

"Y-your Grace…"

"My wife is here, my daughter is here and if you can't tell, that's her screaming. Do you know the punishment for terrorising my child? Hm?" Aegon snarled each word and bared his teeth, scrunching his nose as he delievered his threat by digging his blade into the man's neck and starting a small slice through the skin.

"Kepa," He would have gutted him right then if it wasn't for that quiet, shaking voice that made him sigh and briefly close his eyes. "I want Kepa!"

Aegon revelled in the cry he earned from removing the blade swiftly and tucking it back into the slot around his waist.

"Deal with them," His eyes were cold and menacing as he pointed at the two responsible who were hurriedly grabbed by many guards. "Everyone leave, now. The ball's over, get out."

(Y/n) had never heard such cold malice in her husband's voice and the dangerous look in his eyes made her knees go weak. This was how people expected him to be, this was the cunning, uncaring King everyone tried to turn him into and it was so different from who Aegon really was behind closed doors. But they had unintentionally threatened his daughter, his precious little dragon, and no one got away with that.

His family was his weakness.

The darkness sweeping across Aegon's face vanished the moment he turned towards his girls and his lips softened like butter when he reached his arms out for Araela who almost jumped across from (Y/n) over to her father. He coiled her into his chest and kissed the back of her head whilst threading his fingers through her silver curls. He could feel her shaking against him and how she curled up until she was almost the size of a babe resting against his clothed chest.

They had frightened her. Aegon hated to see her like this, he never knew how to calm her down or what to do to make it better.

When he was sure Araela was nestled safely in one arm, Aegon reached his other arm out and wound it around (Y/n)'s waist. He reeled her into his side, instantly feeling the anger melting away when (Y/n) kissed his neck and her hands found their place on his heaving chest.

Silence followed them as they walked out the hall and Aegon let his eyes fall closed, relishing in having both his girls in his arms. He wasn't going to have Araela attending any more events like this and he wasn't going to be seen at many of them either.

He wouldn't risk his family for anything.

[ganondoodle]

been trying to do some pixel art bc after putting another 60+ hours into stardew valley the want to make a stardew like game but *my* way is strong again ... but i keep getting hung up on thinking about game mechanics (screenshot at the bottom .. sorry for makign this so long again ..)

at some point i thought the whole minecraft aspect is probably impossible to add into a 2d pixel game and im better off to cut that idea out of my head and instead make a dedicated area in which you can build stuff more costumizable and make the rest a more static thing id built so the worlds have more character and theres less problems with NPC pathing (since i dont want you to be able to escape Eadryas wrath if you overstay your welcome by building yourself into a circle or collision boxes .... though they would destroy anything in their path to you either way.. still)

but then i still want you to be able to change the ground in your little area (or maybe multiple ... idk im still conflicted bc i like the idea of finding a place and building your lil hut there ... unless i make it so you can build a hut anywhere but change the ground tiles only in certain areas ... ) and build little ponds and stuff ... so im back to the minecraft in 2d problem

i keep getting into these thinking spirals bc i dont want to draw all those sprites if im gonna scrap it all again anyway

the main point with this little ...... well, lets call it fantasy bc im not confident this 'project' will fare any better than any of my other projects (im a never finished a single project and keeps being haunted by it kind of guy and i hate it)

- is that i want a 2d game somewhat similar to stardew but set in my original story world and focused on the environment and nature, not on earning money, an intricate weather system and no time limit on your day, the twist being you are an ex-demon hunter and are on probation to prove you really abandoned the cause, given shelter and a place to stay in the demon world within the protective bubbles around gates into the human realm (bc humans cannot live in the normal environment of the demon world- this is an already long established thing but works extremely well to limit the space you are able to go in a game without making the world feel tiny plus allows me to give you several different environment designs bc those are gates and bubbles in different parts of the demon world) your task being to help clean up the poisoned land the celestials had caused and repopulating these parts with plants etc. ... there is a tracker that lets you know how well or bad it is doing and if you only destroy instead of restore (like chopping down all trees without planting new ones) you will be given warnings until Eadrya shows up and kills you since you are clearly still working to destroy their lands after all

i still really like this idea but im really doubtful it will go anywhere since i am so slow, need to learn at least two complicated new things (coding, music making) and already have so many things i want to do but never really .. do, the task is just too daunting and it keeps me from just having fun drawing pixel art bc i cant stop (over)thinking about mechanics

(see this is what i mean my brain just cant stop, it just keeps going and it keeps making me spiral into these thinking loops that prevent me from actually doing anything )

this is the same file i have been randomly doodling sprites on since april (by far not the only one, but the current one of multiple sprite tests i keep updating or changing)

(i appreciate feedback or thoughts on this alot, its a little fantasy that i keep comign back to, all my attempts to throw it out of my head in hopes of clearing up some space have failed no matter how little hope i have of making it a reality ..)

[thewertsearch]

GG: karkat!!!!! CG: WHOA FUCK CG: YOU ANSWERED ME, I DONT BELIEVE IT

It’s been a long time coming, but we’ve finally made it to the conversation Karkat prophesied thousands of pages ago.

We know this conversation is 'important', but we've never been told why. Perhaps it's time for Jade to come up with her version of the Scratch plan before Doc shows up to corrupt it.

GG: i never thought id say this, but im actually almost relieved to talk to you […] GG: or really ANYBODY besides that lunatic GG: SHE IS DRIVING ME NUTS!!!!!!! […] CG: HOW SO, EVERYTHING HERE APPEARS TO BE PROCEEDING RATIONALLY.

“I MEAN, YOU’RE JUST YELLING AT YOUR PAST SELF, RIGHT? I LITERALLY DO THAT SHIT ON THE DAILY.”

GG: […] im trying to be strong about all that so we can keep moving forward GG: and if i can then why cant she? […] CG: HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. GG: I SAID STOP SAYING FUCKING HMM CG: o:B GG: what does THAT mean????? GG: is that supposed to be someone with a halo and goofy teeth? GG: ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF ME? […] CG: THOSE ARE MY HORNS

I love that Karkat’s experimenting with personalized emoticons.

He picked it up from Aradia, and nothing can convince me otherwise. Lowblood solidarity never dies 👊🩸

CG: IF I RECALL, IT WASN'T THAT LONG AGO FROM EITHER OF OUR PERSPECTIVES THAT YOU WERE RIPPING ON ME AND MY SMUG WINDBAG FUTURE SELF FOR ARGUING WITH EACH OTHER […] GG: this is NOTHING like that! […] GG: she's ACTUALLY INSANE CG: OH I SEE, AND ALL THOSE IDIOT PAST AND FUTURE KARKATS WEREN'T??? […] GG: those are you GG: im not her!

Sorry, Jade, but Karkat’s got you bang to rights here.

The sources of your rage are a little different, though. Karkat hates his alt-selves because they act exactly like he does, and he can't stand the way he acts. He's trapped in an endless cycle of yelling at Future Karkat, becoming Future Karkat, and getting so mad at Past Karkat that he takes it out on Double-Future Karkat.

Meanwhile, Jade hates Jadesprite because she openly expresses the terror and hopelessness that she's desperately been trying to hide. Jadesprite may be a 'blubbering goddamn pansy', but she's also processing emotions that need to be processed, which is something Jade isn't quite ready to face. She just wants to be cheerful - but for a second, Jadesprite forced her to be honest.

To Karkat, his past self is a masochistic feedback loop - but to Jade, her sprite is an embarrassment.

[its-no-biggie]

duuude when are we gonna go insane about washilon together ...

dude i havent watched rvb in ages so i keep forgetting how insane they make me. i posted this almost 2 years ago.......

its honestly infuriating to me that the writers set up this dynamic and did absolutely nothing with it, but part of me is kind of glad they didnt. its like how romance bait is more compelling than an actual canon relationship because you can fill in the gaps for yourself.......

so yeah the version of rvb in my head post-epsilon/wash reunion is about a wash who is deeply traumatized (but refuses to admit it to even himself) coming face to face with his past in a very literal sense, and theyre both trying really hard to convince both themselves and each other that its fine, nothings wrong, its in the past. we're guys, we dont talk about feelings, it wasnt a big deal, haha my memory's so fucked i dont even really remember it. they both know its too big to pretend it didnt happen, so instead it gets brought up with this sense of forced nonchalance which is undeniably worse.

the idea of wash having like. very real physical symptoms just from interacting with epsilon, but pushing through it because he cant let the team down by letting something so small get to him. and epsilon clocking this, feeling guilty and frustrated and also refusing to acknowledge any of it. because they both want to just move on and put it behind them. but they cant.

and also i think it would be fucked up if epsilon was forced into washs head for some reason and they both relived the worst moment of their life :)

but then also, if carolina has epsilon in her head most of the time, how much of this is she directly feeling because epsilon is feeling it....... has she noticed that washs behaviour toward her has changed? theres also the question of how this was handled by pfl (because canon left a lot to be desired there) and what role carolina played in that. did she push him hard after the implantation? can she now see for herself, through both epsilons memories and washs behaviour, just how badly it fucked him up? and then her guilt feeds into epsilons guilt in a nightmarish feedback loop. and all of them are pretending its fine.

and then if you throw tucker into the mix you get tucker trying to replace church with wash and wash trying to forget epsilon with tucker but theyre both doomed to fail because church is Still Here. and then they have a freaky ai threesome- who said that.

like theres truly So Much here i feel like i havent even scratched the surface. what if we went through something unspeakably horrible together and now things will never be the same. im the only one who understands your pain and looking me in the eye makes you relive it all over again. im sorry. i love you. i cant forgive you. i wish things were different. <- but theyre two emotionally stunted grown men dealing with this by being like "hey, uh. so about that time......." "[actively trying not to hyperventilate] its fine. dont worry about it. im totally over it." "[can literally read his vital signs] ......right. cool." IM INSANE.

[ajastu]

this is a blog made specifically so i can ramble, so time for another one. Been thinking on n off about the concept of a new game in a beloved franchise letting you down in some way, and when expressing that disappointment crosses a certain line.

Like, from personal experience: i was disappointed by dishonored 2. i swear this has something to do with dragon age, bear with me for a moment. The plot fell flat for me, the trailer basically tells you everything that happens in the game, and it really pales in comparison to the way the narrative was crafted in the first game.

HOWEVER, no matter how much of an essay i could write about the shortcomings i, personally, see with dh2, i can still acknowledge that it was a solid fucking game, with care taken in the production of it, and that a lot of people loved it for the exact things that disappointed me, and they are not in the wrong for it.

this got long, unsurprisingly, so the rest ill put behind a read-more 👍

Whenever i talk about what i think could have been done better in the sequel, it is more of a....thought exercise. Because the fact is, we're never getting the dh2 i really wanted, and so there is no need to get upset or frustrated about it. Might as well have fun analyzing it n getting to the core of what it is exactly that felt off, but not in an angry way? more like....having a fun discussion with a friend. pulling a puzzle apart kinda deal. make it Productive, and not just a feedback loop of negative feelings. Find good things in it, even.

So, when i still see people foaming-at-the-mouth mad about veilguard, im not gonna lie, i feel kind of concerned about the mental well-being of some of them.

The fact is. Veilguard is a solid fucking game. Just, objectively speaking. The level design is (to me, at least) intuitive and fun to explore, it does not feel like a slog (looking at you, dai. that one's open world design gave me the most mind-numbingly boring fever dream once), the battle mechanic doesn't make me want to download a 'skip combat' mod, the faction mechanic is fun and closer to the spirit of dao that dai was*, the plot is coherent and has a Theme, and, despite what people like to say, the lore reveals make sense and are consistent with the previous lore in the series 🤷‍♂️. I genuinely do believe that the whole blight origin thing was already thought out before dao came out. thats just how worldbuilding works, usually.

I have a ranking of the DA games in my head, based on how much i liked them. Before datv, it was as follows:

dao (a game of its time, but one i love immensely)

da2

dai (its decent enough, but it never really grabbed me like the other two)

I expected datv to take 4th place. As it currently stands, it might just share the first place with dao, for me personally.

I remember exactly the moment when it clicked for me that playing datv felt like playing dao (it was the first blackthorne mission). And that moment was very special to me. It is also, perhaps, the only game in the series which really actually made me lose my entire mind during certain story missions, but that one might just be because i saw no spoilers before going in.

It is also so so so important to me because of the way they handled the trans and specifically nonbinary representation.

It might not have been exactly what people wanted, but no game will please every single person. like, i am sure that some people dislike the game for exactly the reasons i like it. And the thing is, neither of us is in the wrong. It all comes down to expectations, and how people handle it when something does not meet theirs.

When i went into dh2, it was after a several years long wait for a sequel. I was so excited! I built up this idea of what the game would be like, and i looked forward to seeing it become real. I had Expectations! And the game did not meet most of them. It does not mean it was a bad game. It was just not what i was expecting. I could sit here and pick at it until i start despising it, but that would be a disservice both to me and to the people who put their time and passion into making it.

Before datv's release, my expectations were as low as they could possibly be (because dai is my least fav game in the series, so i was wary about the next one, and because ive heard of the development hell and the fact they were planning to add micro-transactions to the game at some point etc etc). And i do acknowledge that this played a part in how much i ended up enjoying the game. I gave it a chance while not expecting anything, and it let me see it for what it is: a solid fucking game. a good one, even.

I can absolutely see how someone with certain expectation for da4 could be disappointed by the game not addressing the things they wanted to see addressed, or addressing them in a way they don't agree with. I've been there, even! And the fact that i personally liked datv doesn't mean other people can't or shouldn't criticize it.

The difference here lies in where exactly that criticism comes from, and what it hopes to accomplish, and whether or not at some point it becomes more harmful than useful.

When caught up in the spiral of disappointment, it is important to stop and think about whether this is productive. whether this is contributing something to your life. I am no stranger to chewing a bone**. in fact, i am very predisposed to it. Which is exactly why i make an effort to reflect on whether or not it is worth it.

Because, at the end of the day, no matter how much criticism is being put out into the world about datv, or dh2, or what have you, the simple fact remains: it won't change anything about the game that got released. The effort and emotional turmoil is, ultimately, wasted. It is always better to turn that passion into something productive: fanworks, or an essay (in good faith!) that analyzes your own feelings on the topic and what you would want to see differently, or a whole another game/piece of media entirely. It is important to stop coming from a place of vitriol and hatred, because that will burn you out and leave you feeling worse. You have to make a choice to choose joy in your life.

When you see someone enjoying a game you didn't like, and your first reaction is seething hatred and/or a desire to send death threats, you have to ask yourself: is this really worth it?

You're not going to convince people to stop liking a game. Frankly, why would you Want to do that? What will it accomplish in your life? What will it contribute? In the grand scheme of things, a crusade like that is a very foolish thing to burn yourself out over. Put the bone down, and go get a proper meal 🤷‍♂️

________________________________________________

*i dont think that, with the state the current game industry is in, we will ever get another game with a similar bg mechanic like origins had. too many resources needed for that. but the factions are as close as it gets, in my personal opinion

**meaning, fixating on a topic, especially one that causes some kind of negative emotion

[sinkableruby]

like how do u expect me to like ur class if the reading is like 100-200 pages (of shit thats hard to read and in like 2 days sometimes, i should note) and the class itself barely spans half of the content within. im sorry at that point i just stop caring about something id usually like

heartbreaking: girl spends all evening procrastinating work until she realizes that she actually has so much work she has to do

[skekthesilly]

heres why i dont think i can read objectified: a silly little story by me

okay. so basically

objectified has a lot of content, from what i can tell! thats really fucking awesome. that gets me super excited

objectified also has body horror? also gets me really fucking excited because i loooove love love body horror

also monster objects/objects with animal features???? yes pleade. gets me sooo so excited

PARASITES?????????? FUCK YEAH. EXCITEMENT INCREASES EVEN MORE

literally EVERYTHING that objectified has gets me excited. its sooo so so cool. so why can't i read it?

because it gets me too excited!! tee hee

"ermmm skek what do you mean too excited isnt getting excited a good thing"

ahahaha wrong

you see when i get excited its this feedback loop in my head of

YIPPEE!!!! -> YIPPEE!!!! v

^ YIPPEE!!!! <- YIPPEE!!!!

and it loops. over and over and over and over again. and every time it loops the excitement gets bigger and bigger and bigger. my mind is a particle accelerator of excitement and it wants every excuse to start accelerating

and when i get too excited it does NOT FEEL GOOD.

my heart rate starts increasing like nuts and i start feeling sick and it gets really hard to breathe!!!!!!!!!!! and it is really not fun

and do you know what happens after???

i feel like i want to vomit!!!!!! hooray!!!!!

like i genuinely dont have a good healthy proper output for all of my excitement because either i want to start running around (last time i did that i stepped on something that pierced straight thru my foot and it was bleeding like fuck... also id have to have an awkward conversation with my mom on why im running around and explain to her object shows) or punch the walls and scream (i think you can tell why i cant be doing that either) and shaking my arms around like a silly little goober does not help

so like it basically goes like this:

"i should read objectified"

"ohohoho yes YES i should read objectified theres so much cool stuff"

"yes YES IM GONNA DO IT IM GONNA READ OBJECTIFIED"

"oh FUCK oh god this is not a good feeling oh GOD WAIT STOP STOP GETTING EXCITED"

"AUGH AUUUGGHHH AUGGGGGHHHHHHH FUUUUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK AUUUGHHH AUUUGGH FUUUUUUCK FUCK FUCK STOP STOP STOP AUUGGGHH AUUUGHHHH STOP AAAUAUUUGGGGHHHHHHH"

*COUGHING INTENSIFIES*

*THIS IS THE PART WHERE I FEEL LIKE IM GONNA VOMIT*

and i fear that if i read objectified i will unironically explode. like into guts n shit. like i will actually have a fucking seizure or go into cardiac arrest and die.

like every time i even THINK about objectified the shit above happens. EVERY SINGLE TIME. im not even exaggerating the exact shit happens every single time. so imagine what would happen if i read it

this applies to tfmi as well

so yeah!! fun stuff :)

[pureshadough]

aaaaaaand that's jambound. general rambling ⬇️

i literally don't have anything to say about 32 it was a perfectly fine book end. for all of my bitching about the way this fic progressed it really was honestly Pretty Solid all the way through. fandom adores this shit for good reason, i personally just stopped being part of the target audience after the focus of the fic adjusted over the course of time. It happens . i accept the fact that this just stopped being For Me after a certain point, twas nothing against the quality of the work itself, but that doesn't eliminate the sense of disappointment that comes from following a piece of fiction live (like literally from the very beginning) (i read that shit when it was a oneshot with like 80 kudos tops) and watching its appeal slip from ur fingers over time while you simultaneously cannot stop hearing about it at every turn

i'm not taking back my grievances with 31 in light of 32s general Elaborations though because i genuinely still just Don't like how the last like 4-5 chapters progressed & were executed on the whole but those kinds of mass-activity climaxes are really gd hard to write as is, so like. is more a matter of "i dont think the scope needed to be Nearly this large" than anything else. conclusion of the soulbond redux thing was fine, Cute, In fact, and im glad we got chronic pain shmilk rep (‼️) but im still going to forever be blindingly pissed off about the pv pov thing Fuck you for that jamma /lh

i definitely stand by the sentiment that 1-11 was one "season" and 12 onwards was another (possibly even 2 more) that had a pretty significant tone/objectives shift nd ended up losing appeal in the process. that progression was kind of inevitable given the sheer amount of ground jamma wanted to cover, but by the time we got into the latter half and things REALLY stopped being about the soulbond i was like. Okay what are we even doing here. the point of interest for me was Always going to be on the codependency and navigation of their newfound Obligatory Proximity, and the way that evolved (esp as relevant to pure vanilla) just ddddidnt. Hit.

i think a lot of my grievances with this fic (and with most other Redemption AU content for shmilk on the whole really) is just rooted in a fundamentally Different perspective on how these characters handle affection & vulnerability. funny as this probably sounds coming from someone with This Fucking Blog Name i don't actually like most romantic milkshake content under hurt/comfort slowburn pretenses? and like, the sheer degree of Fluff on the table from like ~22 onwards Always struck me as OOC even With the soulbond feedback loop in the picture. this is going to probably sound Fucking Insane, but i think i would have been way more on board with the backhalf of this fic if their relationship was set back WAY farther than just Taking it slow after the bond broke. like im talking Almost Zero Romantic Content until around This Last Chapter.

shmilk has never struck me as a character who would willingly engage in affection unless he is perfectly and EXCLUSIVELY in control of the situation, and the soulbond feeding into that exact desire for (unhealthy and wildly imbalanced) social autonomy could have been a REALLY interesting vehicle to dive into whether or not he values that control over an actually authentic interpersonal connection. how much he's willing to sacrifice to obtain something Real, and in turn having to take several more steps to be willing to Learn Vulnerability. i'll take the angst and struggle inherent to a pairing having to EARN that kind of trust and affection in both directions over several chapters straight of unchallenged hurt/comfort (emphasis on comfort), but given how many people pissed their pants in the ao3 comments the MINUTE their relationships authenticity started to be challenged i get why this wasn't the direction that was taken. im of the understanding the audience reception ended up influencing jammas decision making a decent bit relative to the way this fic ended which bums me out. Should've just killed shadow milk off at the end in retaliation /j

[aibouart]

admittedly, i am afraid to talk about this, but have wanted to for a long while. i don't see a lot of people discuss this kind of thing, but i decided to do so for the me who was struggling and didn't know. also i have no idea where i am going with this and it's very late for me rn so here's a whole ass ramble on vent art. and also a bit more on how it's impacting how i view my art, now. i am terribly sorry if it's not very cohesive, my thoughts on it aren't yet cohesive either WOOPS

i wanted to talk a bit about how vent art really impacted my mental health, and how the idea that art needs some kind of meaning to have meaning really has been weighing on me lately (i know this is a concept i am assigning to my work and is not actually the norm/standard expectation of others consuming art. but it IS a sentiment i have seen enough that does impact me).

i want to specify, obviously i am not saying vent art is bad.

nor that doing vent pieces, or vent blogs, will ultimately result in what i went through for a number of years. rather, that this did happen to me, and there is a near impossible chance i am a unique case in any experience i will ever have. if you do vent art and it helps you, that's good! im not judging anyone for anything here. if your experience does not match my own, that's what it's like to be human~. i am not invalidating anyone on purpose by sharing my own experience. sorry for the insane disclaimer but it will eat me alive if i go to sleep thinking "what if they think x cuz i didn't say y and think im a terrible person"

---

i used to do vent art frequently (you won't find much on here as it was uploaded to a personal at the time). anytime i felt down or had a line of dialogue in my head making me feel bad in a way, i would draw for it. but the way i had interacted with it was really unhealthy. it became a terrible feedback loop where i'd feel bad, draw how i felt bad, look at the art, and ruminate even more on how i felt bad, until it spiralled so out of control i would lose touch with reality and get lost entirely in feeling like garbage.

i would just get so lost in the cycle with vent art that it would make my mental space worse and worse, and i would use the vent art as a negative confirmation bias. the words that hurt me i wrote down and anytime i looked again, they would hurt me again. but i would keep looking, and i would keep drawing.

i have always used art as an outlet, but for some reason the way vent art impacted me was unhealthy. it wasn't a good outlet. and it took me years to cut ties with it. i relied on vent art for a long time, but it took a lot of introspection and thinking to realise it wasn't the release i thought it was. and it was hard to let go, too.

i haven't touched the blog in a few months, now. i haven't done much vent art at all since then and genuinely, i've been doing SOOO much better. i no longer ruminate nearly as much as i had done so, i no longer get caught in a feedback loop that lasts for days to weeks. i still feel like garbage like people tend to do, but i don't put myself in a cycle over it anymore. i have gone back to it a few times in moments of desperation, but what used to be every week/every few weeks is now once a month maybe. and not to the extent at all (i would oftentimes post ~20 images in one night, before).

but i keep thinking about how, while the way i had done vent art was bad for my mental health, i keep feeling that just because i do sparkly cute and happy drawings, now, or drawings with no real meaning, that my art has nothing beyond face value... i do like a lot of my vent art. i think their compositions, or hidden messages and meanings, or colour use, was interesting.

but it wasn't worth the price for me.

so i am a bit caught in an in-between, here. my favourite form of art is the expression of love-you liked something so much, you dedicated time to draw it. and yet i cannot ascribe that to my own work very often. i think that man i wish i could make art with some kind of deeper meaning, that speaks to people, that's more than just pretty colours or shiny shading or a character everyone likes, or a character i like. but i just... don't know if it's for me.

ultimately, i could develop a healthy relationship with expressing and exploring negative emotions or experiences through art, but... do i want to? do i have to? do i need to? is it not enough to just draw something because... i like it..?

of course, the answer is yes, draw what you want, draw how you want, it's your art. but i am still trying to come to terms with that idea. i dont want to be seen as some shallow artist who just draws what's cute and pretty because they can and it's all they can think of, but like what if that's just what i like to draw??

in the end, that alone is good enough, drawing because you like to, because it's fun, because you like the thing you're dedicating time to creating for. it's just hard to grapple with after discarding a type of art that i felt was the only way i drew "for real".

anyways i am sorry this is soooo fucking long, and for all the clarifications (IM STILL NOT SAYING VENT ART BAD AND EVERYONE WILL DO WHAT I DID!! Dx) and the fact i had no real point here (probably)

anyways i will continue to draw what i want because i like to, as i have always been.