#or had some sort of dnf lean to them | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

nowimyurdaisy · 2 years ago

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can you write smth for verstappen!reader and charles leclerc? and max tries to break them apart and they break up bc of him and then they’re both miserable and then max sees how happy they are together and lets them get back together? smth like that tysm 😭💕

OMG I LUV THIS SO MUCH

pairing: charles leclerc x verstappen!reader

warnings: swearing

a/n: sorry this took so long 😭 hope y'all enjoy!

masterlist

-✧⬝✧⬝✧⬝✧⬝✧-

It wasn't a secret around the Ferrari paddock that you were dating Charles Leclerc, but it also wasn't a secret that you are the Max Verstappen's sister. Not that your brother was very aware of your dating life. *cough* that your boyfriend is Charles *cough* He would flip if he knew.

Oh and he did flip, when he found out.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?" max yelled, stomping towards you and Charles who had bolted apart when they heard max.

You looked around nervously not making eye contact, "nothing" you said.

"nothing?!" Max arched an eyebrow. He looks at your boyfriend giving him the death glare. You look at Charles pleading him to not say anything.

Max wins, "I'm sorry" Charles says.

You don't make eye contact, but pull Charles close to you, "Max. I'd like you to meet my boyfriend" you turn to max and smile. Charles chuckles nervously.

"boyfriend?!" You nod at his words. "Y/n you're dating my rival?!"

"yep" you smile, then turn and say "sorry brother but we gotta go" and with that you and Charles walk away.

This night was not going how it was planned, you planned for a night out with your boyfriend because you hadn't been spending as much time together recently, well ever since max found out. You weren't sure if the reason he was distancing himself was because he was A) afraid of max, B) Max had given him some sort of talk (or yell), C) he was really busy, or D) he just didn't want to hang out.

You were really hoping it wasn't the last option. So now here you were sitting across from Charles at a restaurant of his choosing. Sitting in this stupid dress, getting into a stupid argument over the silliest thing, that turned into an argument about max's reaction to your relationship. And Max taking his feelings out on the track.

The yelling turned heads at the restaurant. Eventually the two of you made your way out of the restaurant, you were sure if the two of you were a cartoon characters smoke would be coming out of your ears.

The night ended so ugly. "I HATE YOU. I. HATE. YOU." you yelled at Charles. "I never, ever want to see you again!"

Charles' features softened almost, the realization of what was happening hitting him, "FINE!" He yelled angrily back, "I hope you have a terrible life y/n"

With that you slammed the door in his face. As soon as it shut, you slid down the door sobs erupting from you.

It had been a couple weeks since you had seen Charles. You really didn't want to go to the race and face the chance of seeing Charles, but Max really wanted you there. So begrudgingly you agreed to go.

You showed up to the race wearing all black and sunglasses. The moment you stepped into the Red Bull paddock and Christian tried to greet you, you gave a bland "Hello" and sat down at one of the chairs and watched everyone work. Everyone got the message that you clearly didn't want to be there and were only there for their star racer, your brother.

It was a good race, Max won, again. Of course you were happy for him but you weren't really in the mood to celebrate. However you joined max and the rest of the grid at a club to celebrate. You couldn't help but wonder if Charles would be there. Probably not because he had a shit race not even finished, getting a DNF. You didn't want to feel bad for him, bit a small pang of guilt coursed through you thinking you may have been the cause of his DNF.

You were leaning against the bar, a stiff drink in your hand. When you felt someones eyes on you, a very familiar pair of eyes, you turned in around, your eyes meeting his. He looked away quickly. He looked almost sad.

Max had turned around just in time to catch this interaction. The realization finally hits him of how happy the two of you were together, and that he might actually be the cause of your misery. Suddenly feeling guilty for being happy when the two broke up. Now realizing what he must do.

He knew he had to get the two of you back together. Now he just had to come up with a plan. It was the most cliched plan ever trapping them in a room together to force them to talk it out. He told Carlos his plan, Carlos thought it was brilliant, since he could see the pain in his teammate's eyes ever since the two of you broke up. Carlos tested the group chat saying to meet at max's room to have a guys night. Then, Max texted you telling you to meet him in his room before dinner.

When you got to his room Max claimed he had a call he had to take and stepped outside for a bit, you didn't miss the note sitting on the table but before you could investigate someone knocked, you assumed it was max who accidentaly closed his door on his way out. When you opened it you where met with the face of the last man you wanted to see.

"What are you doing here?" you asked almost slamming the door in his face.

"I'm here to hang with the guys, why are you here?" he retorted. "he said he had something important to say" Then you saw your brother come out of nowhere push the two of you inside and lock the door, you finally realized that the lock was on the outside of the door.

"That little shit"you mumbled under your breath.

"What?" Charles asked, "what is happening?" CHarles asked looking around the room frantically finally his eyes settled on the paper in your hand.

"My idiot brother set this up" you sighed, rolling your eyes.

"What does the letter say?"

Dear Y/N and Charles,

I am so sorry that I screwed this up for you two.

Now get your heads out of your asses and fucking MAKE UP!

The two of you are clearly fucking MISERABLE without the other.

Your favorite person,

Max

"That little shit" you repeated again much louder this time.

"Is- is it true?" Charles finally asked. You tilted your head as if to question. "Did I really hurt you that much?"

You just nodded slowly, "are- are you hurt too Charles? Or did I imagine the pain in your eyes in the club?" Slowly but surely the two of you were inching closer to each other.

"I've really missed you y/n/n" Charles spoke softly, he reached for your hand but pulled back afraid of your possible reaction.

"I miss you too" you replied grabbing his hand, entwining your fingers. "I can't believe I let my brother of all people get in between us" you let out a light chuckle.

"Can we just forget these past weeks never happened?" Charles asked so politely.

You smiled, looking him in the eyes, "Alright ask me"

"Ask you what?" He asked.

"You know what" you replied.

Charles rolled his eyes, "y/n y/l/n will you make me the happiest man and be my girlfriend?"

"Yes you idiot of course, I love you" you pulled Charles into you, your lips meeting his.

"I missed you so fucking much" Charles mumbled pulling away.

"And?" you replied littering kisses all over his face.

"And I love you so much" he laughed, pulling you back in for another deep kiss.

"Please never leave me again" you whispered.

"Never."

As you leaned in for another kiss you could hear your brother and a couple other friends on the other side of the door peering in through the window shouting yes and high-fiving.

You and Charles laughed foreheads touching.

-✧⬝✧⬝✧⬝✧⬝✧-

taglist

#charles leclerc #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x verstappen!reader #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc x fem!reader #f1 #formula 1 #formula 1 x reader #max verstappen #max verstappen x sister!reader #charles leclerc x y/n #formula one

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wnfcom · 4 years ago

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KarlNotFound Truthing

KarlNotFound is pretty unknown in the mcyt community in general I’d say, so I'm here to help spread the agenda as much as I can.

I have some songs in mind for the pair, mainly Kingston by Faye Webster, Bubblegum by Clario, Dreaming of You by Selena, and Once More to See You by Mitski. Also I know people love to debate about whether the feral boys are catboys or dogboys but I’d personally say George is a catboy/bunnyboy with dogoy tendencies and Karl is a dogboy with catboy tendencies. They’re both just so full with energy and it really shows when there around each other.

In my opinion the pair has sort of have a “winter” vibe that can be implemented in sort of meet cute or pining aus, maybe with some fantasy in the mix? Both seem to love putting on specific outfits, normally oversized clothes (mainly George) and both are considered small, though Karl is more lanky and George is just plain short. They’re perfect for clothes swaps, they themselves said they’d switch hoodies when they meet up and Karl even mentioned sniffing Georges sweater when they did. I feel like Karl would be the type to share his clothes with George and George would happily comply, loving the way bigger clothes look and feel on him. Honestly because they don't interact much one on one on streams or videos its hard to get a complete read on how thy treat each other and their overall dynamic, BUT Karl sure does feeding knfers when he can. I think their relationship is really based on warmth and comedy and once in a while being genuine. They're a giggly duo most definitely, Karl always being one of the main people who can get a giggle or laugh out of George, just by his voice alone! They both seem to love being comedic, so the fact that they're almost ALWAYS giggling when their with each other is extremely important. There's never a dull moment when they're around each other because they know how to appeal to each other, such as George playfully flirting with Karl once in a while just like Karl will do (though a lot of the times he’s being genuine and just expressing his admiration with George which always seems to put a smile on Georges face) or Karl making a dumb dnf joke to get a rise out of him and their audience. They get each other, is what I'm essentially trying to say. They're very dependent on having fun, or just talking about their own interests and having the other listen adoringly and just genuine expressions of admirations or jokes. Their laughs just.. compliment each other so well. They’re also pretty jokingly mean to people, they're the type to poke fun of you and roast you in a lighthearted away and will act the same towards each other, but you can always tell its not serious when they erupt into giggles and repeat themselves. Their humor can be so stupid but it works. And lets not forget all of their silly inside jokes.

Now I haven't even mentioned both of their love languages, Karl's definitely being physical affection and verbal affection while Georges is quality time and also physical affection (shown by Tommy's vlog). Karl already shows his verbal affection towards George every once in a while, whether its in the guise of an inappropriate joke or its him being genuine and telling him how amazing he is (reference to the cooking stream where Karl had at least 2 instances of hitting on George) and it never fails to make George smile or laugh. Karl knows what George likes and isn't afraid to express himself and make the latter happy. Karl also is extremely affectionate physically and just touchy, whether its leaning on someone, punching or pushing them, hugging and grabbing their arm, its as if he cant get enough. Now compare this to George, someone (as shown in Tommy's vlog) doesn't complain when he’s given affection and actually with reciprocate it and enjoy it or easily comply. Now we got to see Karl make Sapnap warm up to physical affection but what about when Karl jumps on George for a hug and George doesn't complain, just hugs back and smiles, always having fun if Karl’s around. Additionally, George is a person, while he might not always express his love for his friends, he is one to show it. He’s been reported tp spend hours on vc with Sapnap and has been shown to be on the phone with Karl multiple times, as well as talking to Dream daily and being shown on tons of his friends streams and constantly talking to them. So put Karl and George together and you get people constantly spending time with each other, probably cuddling if they met up and showing how they care for each other in their own silly ways. They truly bring out the best in each other.

I’ll leave you with an AU I thought of a while back:

KNF are in a stereotypical fantasy world, where Karl is a prince locked away in a tower guarded by a dragon (Dream) and George is a wandering traveler and mercenary looking for work and one day he comes across Karl’s tower and out of curiosity and the need for a place to stay he finds his way in and finds a sleeping dragon. He sneaks past and makes his way up to the top of the tower and finds Karl who calls for Dream and he tries to bargain his way out if the situation, only to discover that Karl is lonely in his tower and he’d actually like George to stay with him because though he’s lonely, he likes it where he is. George agrees as long as he’s able to go out once in a while. From then on they live together and love blossoms.

#karlnotfound #knf #georgenotfound #karl jacobs #mcyt #shipping #irl shipping #irl ship #gnf #kj

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myrandom-fandomlife · 4 years ago

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Hello! I'm the anon from the 4 part ask that you answered earlier! I saw your post about the different "eras" of DNF and I would like to share some of my opinions since I've been in the fandom since March of last year, so maybe I can write my own analysis and briefly explain what happened during these times (and hopefully someone will find enjoyment in reading this)!

So the first era was probably the most "baity" period where every interaction between Dream and George with slight romantic undertones was pure bait. From Dream placing romantic music in the background, to the small texts on screen that would read "arguing like a married couple" and even proclaiming his love to George any second he could, it was obvious that it was a means to garner a reaction and moments that could be used in compilations, edits, videos, etc. Dream addressed George just the same as he currently does Sapnap or Bad: Dude, Bro, etc, and when they weren't attempting to bait, for example on streams, things were chill, no tension, just two bros hanging out in minecraft.

LOVE OR HOST ERA. The catalyst in DNF's relationship, in my humble opinion. Now, where do I begin? So, LOH was definitely a time that I believe Dream became aware of his feelings towards George (platonic or romantic, I can't be sure) and his fear of losing him. Before/During George's LOH, we got Dream saying some interesting things, the most notable one "George is the only man I can see myself dating". Now, I'm pretty sure this was meant as bait, but how he reacted prior to LOH, was very telling. Dream would avoid George like the plague in every situation that didn't require them to interact. Twitter? Only one mention (and that was literally him tagging George in Andrea's post in spite). Stream? That I can remember he didn't join much during this time, nor did he stream that often. During MCC, the DT was separated in different teams, Sapnap & George together and Dream alone. Now Sapnap DID pop off. He was doing amazing. And Dream complimented him and his team quite a lot. But what about George? I believe he mentioned him ONCE. This was the first time we see Dream jealous in regards to George, and the lack of content and interactions between these two made many believe DNF was dead and abandon the ship all together.

QUACKITY AND KARL. Now there is a lot that happened in between LOH Arc and the friendship between the DT with Karl and Quackity. Dream and George seemed to have solved whatever occured between them, and things were tranquil. We got a few baity moments here and there, but we also started to get the start of the infamous "name-truthing", the soft voices and other subtle moments. Now, during this time George, Dream and Sapnap started developing their friendship with Quackity and Karl, George in particular started getting closer with them and spending LOTS of time with them, so much so that we got more G/K/Q content than we did DT content. And we get Jealous Dream 2.0., only difference from the other occurence of jealously? He addressed it publicly, admitted that he was frustrated and physically affected by the lack of attention from the british man. He confronted George while he was streaming, with an audience of 50k+ viewers. He was desperate.

Things were pretty calm after that, the more intimate and subtle moments between the two became more and more apparent and began to outweight the baity moments. Quackity/George/Karl continued to blossom their friendship, and DNF was slowly becoming a topic to tease George and Dream (I can only compare their teasing to that of middle schoolers when their friends had a crush). We can compare this teasing to that of Skephalo, the difference, while one is leaning on the more explicit side and used to make others laugh or get an over the top reaction, the other was used as an inside joke of sorts, only brought up to embarass or shut up Dream/George when they got over-confident (most times it would effectively leave them quiet, important to note, is that they never denied the claims nor attempted to).

TRAINS PODCAST. Oh boy, was this a night to remember. A historical mark for DNF. The point in history that George decided to become BOLD and actively flirt with Dream whenever he wanted to, rendering or poor Leo speechless most of the time. That podcast changed these men, it unlocked something within them and things have never been the same since. This is where we see the dynamic take a major switch, and baity moments had become almost non-existent, and instead we got probably some of the most tension filled convos between these himbos. Name-truthing had become something natural between them, the unavoidable excitement whenever they hear one another in call, suddenly ever call became a matter of how long until they were third-wheeling everyone. It's also during this time that we clearly see a difference in between Dream & Sapnap's relationship and Dream & George's relationship (not that one outweighed the other, but the nature of these relationships were very much opposing)

And finally we are in our current stance. Where the sweet, obnoxious moments continue to pile; More and more of their friends are calling them out (you can literally see Quackity and Karl becoming more direct and, quite honestly, aggressive with their call-outs. I bet they are just as tired as we are); The whole hoodie fiasco and the secretive pictures; Syncing sleep schedules once again; Tension continue to grow and you can see them testing the waters, in a game of tug of war until one of them caves in and starts the conversation.

As I said before, they have nothing to gain from the bait they are currently doing. They excuse it as being a joke, and hide behind this lie, as a means to test the development and seriousness of whatever they have going on. The whole Valentine's thing proves that they (unfortunately) do not understand when the other is being sincere or baity...

Also here is some food for thought. George has been very clingy with Dream ever since he and Sapnap moved in together. Not being able to see each other is certainly another factor that is affecting them.

I'm anxious to figure out what in the hell is happening next between our oblivious idiots with communication issues. It sometimes seems surreal the things that occur between them, and straight out of a fanfic.

Anyway, sorry for the long rant and if this wasn't very interesting to read! Just wanted to get some thoughts out of my head!! Stay safe and hope you have a good day/afternoon/night! ❤

Hi love! Glad to have you back <3

Firstly, don’t ever be sorry for ranting in my inbox, especially ab dnf. I love to see it!

Thank you for this, especially the early parts when I wasn’t in the fandom yet. Ahh this is super helpful.

I agree that George has gotten more clingy since Sapnap and Dream moved in together which is so funny because Dream and George have a more similar sleep schedule than Sapnap and Dream do LMAO

But yes all of this ugh I’m deeming you my genius anon

#dreamnotfound #dnf #genius anon #ask

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anothertimdrakestan · 5 years ago

Text

Heat Waves (TimKon)

Words: 3k

Hi! I’m so glad you’re here! I’ve been working on this for way too long and definitely have a pt2 planned out if you guys like part one! I hope you’ll take the time to read this because I spent way too long on it and I’m pretty happy with how it turned out!

for the like 0.1% of my audience that this overlaps with, yes, i too am utterly obsessed with Heat Waves for DNF and have been listening to this song on repeat for three days straight waiting for chapter 8. But, i figured why not let that amazing piece of absolute art inspire a Timkon fic cuz they have the same dynamic as DNF in my eyes! All credits go to tbhyourelame on ao3!

if you don’t know what heat waves is that’s fine this is just a regular fic but I highly recommend you checkout the amazing song here

It was as hot as death itself in Kansas. Not to mention a farm with no AC was just about the worst place Conner could be forced to “vacation” at. But Ma and Pa had been begging to have him over and the month of June just seemed to overlap, so there Kon was, sweating buckets in the middle of nowhere.

It felt so cold in Gotham. Though, the temperature was comfortable- the most comfortable it had been all year- but Tim always felt colder, lonelier, when Conner wasn’t by his side. The two of them were a duo, fitting together like a puzzle piece, the absolute best of friends and best of heroes. But now, he was using his mandatory away-from-the-tower weeks up while Conner was in Kansas, it was some sort of mandate that Bruce’s kids come home occasionally and instead of suffering weekends in Gotham Tim opted to just grind out a few weeks at the manor, even if it meant dealing with Damian’s unrelenting murder attempts. But it wasn’t all bad, Tim got to patrol with Bruce again, hang out with Jason occasionally, and even see Dick from time to time. “Family” bonding at it’s finest.

“Hello?” Tim’s voice was quiet, Kon constantly felt himself turning the volume button up on his phone just to hear a decibel more of his best friend’s comforting tone.

“Hey Timbers how was your day?” Conner felt himself relaxing to the light sound of Tim breathing, he was laying on the floor, spread like a starfish so that no sticky part of his body could touch and create more sweat.

“Nothing much, no patrol tonight- I guess you remembered,” Tim’s voice was filling his ears. I remember everything you tell me. “Yeah, yeah I did,” Conner quickly replied. “Any boring farm chores today?” Conner heard the familiar rustling, he could hear Tim stand up, he’d memorized the sound of Tim taking him off speaker and resting the phone in between his shoulder and ear. He could hear Tim’s hair, that he knew he was probably growing out, brush the mic. I always liked his hair longer.

“Kon?” Tim snapped him back into the stiflingly hot room. “Oh sorry, it’s really hot here, kinda makes me zone out. Um, I’m alright I got to hangout with the cows today which was cool- they don’t like the heat either but Ma says it’ll be over soon,” Conner rambled, all too focused on Tim’s breath in his ear.

“Sorry for making you zone out, I guess nothing interesting is happening here,” Tim sighed, Conner shook his head, rolling over on the floor, leaning down into the mic of his phone.

“Nothing about you bores me Tim,”

Tim didn’t reply. Conner mentally cursed himself, he was really too tired, too hot and bothered to be this flirtatious with Tim, who was a complete wild card when it came to Conner.

And then he answered, Tim’s voice was higher pitched, the way it ascended when he was blushing- he was blushing. “Well that’s not true, I’m very boring. When I’m doing cases or training or-” Conner couldn’t take it.

“Nothing about you could bore me Tim. I’m down to be with you whenever, doing whatever, you know that,” he felt his tone soften, loving the way Tim’s breath hitched with every compliment.

“Be with me?” Tim shot back playfully, Conner could practically hear the smirk toying on the smaller boy’s lips.

“Did I stutter?” Conner heard a loud noise, a thump. Tim’s voice was high pitched again, “Sorry- uh I dropped my phone,” Conner felt himself growing warmer, if at all physically possible. “No problem. So, what are you doing tomorrow with Bruce?” Conner didn’t like pushing Tim too far, hell, he barely knew how he felt half the time. Tim’s voice brightened, “Oh! We’re gonna go to this old ice cream shop I adored as a kid! It’s been too long since I’ve been there, you remember me talking about it?”

Conner didn’t need a second to answer, “Sub 30, you always get the one with the espresso poured over it,” he couldn’t lie, ice cream sounded absolutely heavenly at the moment. Tim’s voice flooded through the heat, “Right as always- I swear they programmed some sort of photographic memory inside of you,” Tim teased, Conner answered honestly, “I just listen when you tell me things”. The night went on, Tim quickly had to go, believe it or not he did sleep when given the opportunity. “Try not to die of heat exhaustion, drink lots of water throughout the day, not all at once,” Conner smiled, “will do, goodnight Timmy,” Tim answered mid yawn, “night Kon”.

And then he was alone. Alone with the heat, with his thoughts, the latter far more dangerous. He’s my best friend, of course I remember everything. Conner found himself staring at the ceiling, Ma had painted constellations on the walls and ceilings of the room, something funny about alien genes liking the stars. Conner used to be able to find every pattern, name every star, but the only shape he could trace was Tim. There were his eyes, they were pools of deep blue, they sparkled when he laughed but could glare bullets when he tried. If he stared hard enough Kon could find his hair, it’s always soft and smells delicious, layers falling effortlessly- cascading to frame his face. Then there were his lips, Conner found himself constantly mesmerized with the way Tim bit his bottom lip when thinking, the way they scrunched together when he said something funny, how they constricted when he bit the inside of his cheek just enough to hide the emotion he was so scared of portraying. They were perfect.

He let the heat take his mind, flowing with the stars as he thought dangerous thoughts about his best friend. His thoughts danced around Tim’s waist, flowing carefully around his chest, wrapping Kon in every layer of Tim’s personality, every smile, laugh, tear, scowl, it was Tim. Kon’s Tim.

And there, on the floor, he drifted to an uncomfortable, sweaty sleep.

Tim was scrolling aimlessly through his phone, Gotham was surprisingly boring. He once found the city bustling and distinctly alive but now it only left him cold, cold and bored.

“Ice cream as good as you remember?” Bruce’s voice lifted him from his device. “Yup! Can’t believe you let me have espresso at like 10, you basically started my addiction.” Tim threw on a smile, glancing down at the half eaten dessert. “Yeah, can’t say I was the best father but, I tried,” Bruce’s shoulders shook lightly, but the laughter didn’t make it to his eyes. Did you really try? Truly? Tim dove back into the creamy sweet, admiring the bitterness the espresso brought the flavor. His phone buzzed.

K: Did you get the ice cream?

T: yeah, you remembered?

K: You literally told me last night

T: have i been off your mind since?

K: No.

Conner always did this, every time Tim thought he’d throw him off guard with something funny or flirtatious just to have a little fun Kon took it and ran with it. And I’m always the one who ends up blushing. Tim thought, shaking his head. It was really his fault he let Conner get him riled up. They were best friends, flirting or dealing out little sexual quips were natural, and often pretty funny.

“Earth to Tim? I’ve got a meeting you wanna head back while I head to the office?” Tim glanced over at Bruce who was now standing up in front of him. “Yeah, I can work on cases back at the manor, you gonna head to the office?” stretching his arms he stood up, noticing Bruce had put on his business face- the one stone cold and dry that only brought back the worst memories. “Yes.” His response was gruff, Tim suppressed the shudder that tried to dance down his spine. “Uh yeah, I’ll head back, have a nice day B,” he smiled, hoping it made it to his eyes.

“You can’t keep calling me while I’m on patrol, it’s not safe,” Tim chastised Conner loosely, appreciating the company as his patrol with Damian was always deathly silent. “C’mon, you’re used to having me in your ear,” Tim gulped, glancing around for Damian who was three buildings over, deeply uninterested. “Kon, oh my god, I’m gonna mute you,” Tim whispered, revelling in the chuckle that stirred in Conner’s chest. It was deep, and warm, so distinctly warm Tim felt the heat budding in his chest.

“So, patrol with the demon? He hasn’t cut your grapple line yet?” Conner’s tone was low and silky smooth. Coughing to clear his throat Tim replied, “nope, he’s most horrific when Bruce is here, when he’s not the punk couldn’t care less whether I live or die,”

“I care,”

“I know Kon,” If only you knew how much I appreciated it.

“Asshole, can you hear me? I said we’ve got a gang robbery on second? You coming genius?” Damian’s disgusted tone flooded over his comm, and Tim quickly turned his attention to the bat-brat who was already grappling towards the alarms and shouts. Conner’s whisper asked, “can he hear me?” and Tim replied, “no, you’re on a separate channel, Dami can only hear me when I unmute. Just be quiet while I take out these thugs,”

“Why? Because my voice distracts you?” Conner’s tone shifted into dangerously flirtatious.

“No, cuz you’re annoying as shit,” Tim smirked, running across the top of a building, letting Damian call the signals so he didn’t get all upset.

“Do I make you uncomfortable Tim? Do I make you forget just exactly what you’re doing, whether you want to use your batarang or bo staff? Do I make you, warm? Because it’s so warm here, so hot, god I’m just so hot I-”

“Shut. Up.” Tim struck the gun out of a scared looking man. Rolling his eyes at the man in his ear.

“Why? Are you too focused? We’ve taken out much harder criminals all while talking. Aren’t we just talking right now?” Kon’s voice was ringing in his head like never before.

“I’m trying to focus but it’s no good when you’re in my ear.”

“And what if I wasn’t in your ear? You remember? When we work side by side, so close- are you an affectionate person Tim?” Tim could feel the heat dripping off of Conner’s voice, but he was taken aback by Conner’s new line of thought.

“Wha- what? Am I affectionate? I don’t know. Sometimes?” Tim almost missed a hit, huffing as Damian blocked what would’ve been a hard blow on him. “Start paying attention Drake,” Damian’s tone was acidic. But he was drawn back into his com as Conner’s voice flooded his ears again.

“Would you be affectionate with me?”

“Yes” Tim’s breathless reply was instant, his brain not giving him a chance to think.

“Good, I like that. You know I’m very affectionate too? I like getting to hold the people I care about close, feeling their warmth. You know I’m very warm right now?”

“I- I know Kon, I bet, are you doing alright? Drinking water?” Tim shook out the thought of Conner lazing out in his room, sweaty, lips parted as he pushed out warm breath- Stop. Focus. Your job is to defend these people. Damian’s doing a good job, You just have to round up the civilians. Tim forced himself back into the real world, taking on one of the gang members with ease, tying him up swiftly before moving on to the next.

“I heard that, I can hear it every time you take out one of those men. This is easy isn’t it? I can’t be that distracting to you. You’re too good.”

“You always do this,” Tim felt his cheeks heating up, his steps felt forced, like he had to remind himself to breathe. Tim carefully rounded up civilians, escorting them to safety as Conner started again in his ear.

“Always do what Tim? Tell you how much I appreciate you? How much I miss you? Do you not think you deserve to be missed? To be loved?”

“Conner” Tim’s tone was harsher than he wanted it to be. But nonetheless Conner continued.

“Why not? Why the hell not? You’re amazing Tim.”

Tim scoffed, playing it off as a cough to the people in front of him.

“What do you need to hear Tim? That you’re amazing? Brilliant?-”

“Oh my god Kon-” Tim interrupted, but Conner wasn’t done.

“Talented? Impressive? [his tone deepended] - Attractive?”

“I’m gonna hang up,” Tim was breathing so hard he was practically hyperventilating. The compliments were all that consumed his thoughts, swirling around his brain, packing it full of deep, dangerously flammable thoughts.

And Conner was ready to let it burn.

“You need to be kissed Tim,” Conner murmurs, throat raw, “so hard that you can’t remember your name- maybe then you’ll understand what I mean.”

The batarang in Tim’s hand clattered to the floor. Damian’s head whipped to him as Tim struggled to regain function.

“I’m muting you, see you in a bit,” was all Tim could choke out before he ripped the earpiece out, unable to let it sit, burning into his skull. You’re almost done here, cool down, finish up. Tim told himself as he manually reminded himself to breathe. You’ve got this.

Conner knew Tim ended the call. But he didn’t have the energy to stop the endless beeping from the disconnected phone.

He was laying on the floor of his room, limbs spread out as he clawed for anything that could cool him down, but all he could feel was heat as he stared up at the stars.

He had to admit, he’d pushed Tim further than ever before. But it felt too right to stop, too good. He couldn’t stop replaying the way Tim’s breath hitched after every word, desperately grasping for the feeling budding up in his chest. It was too addictive to not let the words he’d spent too long crafting pour from his lips into Tim’s heart.

Kon didn’t know how long he laid there, dazed in the heat, just trying to relive word after perfect word.

Until his phone rang.

“Tim?” his voice was ragged and raw.

Tim’s was high pitched and tight. “Conner what the hell was that? Was that funny to you? Saying all those things- flirting with me while I’m trying to do my job?”

“Flirting?” Conner mused, staring at the stars with a tattered smirk on his face.

“Don’t act dumb, I don’t know what kind of sick joke it was saying all that while I’m on patrol but I’m glad you think you’re funny,” Tim’s voice was cold. But not the cooling tone, it was sharp, like the way the freeze of ice can feel so painfully hot when applied too harshly.

“I would’ve said it to you no matter what you were doing,” Conner whispered, resting his phone on his chest, wincing at the sticky noise it made as he tried to adjust it’s positioning.

“So that was just all for you? To let you listen as you screwed with my brain?” Tim retorted.

Conner was done dancing around the truth, all forms of control eluding his mind. “Yes,”

“That’s cruel Kon, can you imagine if I did that with you? Told you how you needed to be kissed while you’re out with Jon or something?” Tim sounded exasperated, but at the end of each quip Kon could hear the deep breaths he was taking. Does- Does he like this?

Tim continued. “Don’t answer that. Shut up, I know what you’re gonna say. ‘Oh Tim it’s not the same,’ just- just get out of my head!”

Conner sat up. He was floating. Floating in the middle of his room, the phone on his chest tumbling to the floor as he scrambled to grab it again, feeling his feet touch the ground as he held the phone as close to his lips as he could.

“What do you mean Tim? How am I in your head?” Do you feel the same way I do right now?

“You- you just know me. So well, and when you say stuff like that- when you’re in my ear saying those things your voice, it’s like fire, it burns.” Tim sounded desperate, his voice painfully strained.

Conner’s head was spinning, “I burn you?” he matched Tim’s desperate tone.

“You melt me.”

Conner’s head slammed against the roof of his room, as he tried to regain control of his senses he heard Tim murmur, “does that make sense?”

“More than you know Timbers, more than you know,” Conner could hear Tim let out a sigh, the kind that told him all would be okay.

As Conner took a deep breath, steadying himself for what was to come Tim spoke first. “It’s so late Kon, I’ve been up to long, I think I need to go to bed,” Tim’s tone was soft again, the cooling, comforting tone that Kon was scared he’d never hear again.

"Yeah, I- uh, have chores in the morning anyways.” Conner answered, hoping to give Tim some peace of mind.

“Okay, sounds good. Goodnight Conner,” Tim said quietly, his tone thoughtful and slow, finally letting the sleep crowd his mind.

“Goodnight Tim, talk to you tomorrow?” Conner let too much hope sink into those last few words.

“Yes, night now,” Tim answered easily, quickly hanging up the call, letting Conner sink down back into the carpet of his floor.

“Tomorrow,” Conner whispered to himself, feeling the intense heat start to creep back in as he drifted into a sweaty sleep.

“Tomorrow,” Tim whispered to himself, trying to swallow the nerves he didn’t know Conner could draw out of him.

“I’ll figure it out tomorrow.”

not my usual fic but I really hope you enjoyed!

taglist: @vintageroses10 @idkmanicantenglish @kishony-the-geek @foenixphire @how--are--you @psych0crybaby @romance-is-tragic @birdy-bat-writes @subtleappreciation @officiallydarkgeek also kita cuz i love u and wanted to try writing timkon more in your style hehehe @river-bottom-nightmare

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insane-weasel · 4 years ago

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Febuwhump Day 2: “i can’t take this anymore”

DreamNotFound/DNF

Sum: Stephen King cliché AU—in where kids find true evil, cliché and then it hunts them to adulthood. Not fully formed idea (not my finest work, more just feeling out characters I’ve never written before).

CW: Animal death, human death, Stephen King vibes.

George’s back was to the wall, his heart thudding in his chest. His eyes went to the door. It hadn’t fully latched, but he couldn’t move to close it entirely now. It would give his position away. On the other side of the door he could hear the soft final footsteps of someone ascending the stairs.

The scrape of a knife against wood—an absent noise from the hefty blade in the killer’s hand hitting the bannister.

How’d he get here?

His life flashed before his eyes.

…

Years ago. When George was ten. This started.

“We shouldn’t be here,” Bad muttered. He was hanging back as far as he could, but not too far from Ant, who was holding the flashlight. Sapnap had his own flashlight and was leading the way, and George trailed between.

“Relax. I’ve seen those older guys in here all the time,” Sap reassured. “They probably have something cool stashed in here. Or like a secret lair. Or I don’t know…”

Sap put his hand to the wall of the cave and shined the flashlight down a dark tunnel that was about a foot high and then towards their current path which was narrow and hardly tall enough for all of them to comfortably walk through. If any of the older guys came in here, they must have to crawl.

“I think we made a wrong turn,” George reasoned, glancing behind him at Ant’s calm, but similarly reluctant face. He nodded at that, but Sapnap shook his head.

“Just a little bit more! We’ll turn back if we don’t find anything.”

“What if there’s bats in here? Or I don’t know—wolves?”

“There’s no wolves in the UK!” Sapnap said defiantly.

“There could be a bear in here?” Bad said.

“He’d have to be a skinny bear,” George said, turning sideways to avoid a jutting edge in the stone. The two behind him followed suit and Sapnap stalled up ahead, running the flashlight up the wall of stone. It was a little higher in here, but only by a head.

“Dead end?” Ant questioned.

“No,” Sapnap said and stepped to the side, letting the other three crowd into the closet sized space.

A crack was in the stone up ahead, rocks piled on either side of the crack. A painting of a face and other images were on the sides, nearly faded to extinction. Only when Ant waved the flashlight over them a couple of times, did George make out that they were drawings.

“This must be their lair? Less cool then I…thought,” George said. “I don’t think there’s any Pokemon cards in there.”

“It’s giving me a bad feeling,” Bad said. “Let’s just go. We need to get home earlier this time.”

“Let’s go in,” Sapnap suggested. He had to practically squeeze himself through the crack, sucking his stomach in and shimmying his shoulders until he was through. “It’s bigger on the other side. A lot! It’s like a room!”

Sapnap had moved away from the opening, his flashlight disappearing further into the opening, so George quickly followed, and Ant concerned bent down, tucking his flashlight under his chin to try and squeeze through the crack at the bottom where it was a little wider.

“Guys!” Bad said panicked. “Don’t just—fine, I’m coming. Don’t leave me out here.” George got through with some effort, but straightened and dusted his hands off on his pockets to see Sapnap shining the flashlight up at the paintings and old torches on the wall, that were—well, obviously, out. They looked ancient.

Ant behind him shined the flashlight in the center of the room to the big stone in the middle. He thought it looked like a well of some type, but it was covered.

Bad made it through with some muttered anxieties about their situation before he straightened, standing between George and Ant and hesitantly looking around the place.

“I don’t think this is the college kid’s hideout,” Bad said.

George nodded. “Looks too…old?”

“Lots of old things around England,” Ant commented.

“But what old thing is this?” George questioned, nudging the stone well with his foot.

Sapnap was bored looking at the pictures and turned his attention to the stone well. “Oh, I think it’s like a…what’s the word. A grave but not underground—”

“We’re in a grave?” Bad was alarmed.

“I hope not,” Ant said.

“There better not be a dead body in there or I’m telling my mum you were the one who ruined the clothes lines, not me,” Bad began rattling off.

“Want to try and look inside?” Sapnap suggested, turning to George and Ant, and nudging the stone cover with arm.

“I don’t think we can move that,” George argued.

Ant passed the flashlight to Bad and helped Sapnap. George went to Sapnap’s other side and the three pushed against the stone cover. No luck. It felt like it almost budged, but with a great heave, the children gave up. Sapnap looked at Bad who had his arms crossed across his chest.

“Come on, help us.”

“Piss off,” Bad said.

“Either help us, or go on home,” Sapnap snapped.

“Just so you know. I think we shouldn’t do this,” Bad said, tucking the flashlight under his arm and joining them on one side to push against the stone cover. They managed to move it a few inches this time, and with another good heave push it entirely off the stone well

Ant was the first to recover his wits, and peer over the edge. “Someone shine a light down here.”

“Got it,” Sap had his light pointed over the edge. “Oh.”

“What is it—” Bad shined his flashlight over the edge and winced. “It’s almost worse than a dead body. Darkness. Great.”

“So, it is a well?” George said, looking into the darkness.

“I don’t think there’s water down there.”

“Anyone have anything we can throw down it?”

Ant checked his pockets and pulled out a pencil. “Got this.”

“Toss it in then!”

The boys waited for a moment as Ant dropped it in the middle, and waited to see if they heard something.

“Did you hear it hit the bottom?” Sapnap questioned impatiently.

“Maybe it’s too light to make a noise,” Bad said, and searched his own pockets, balancing the flashlight on the edge. “I think I have a few coins. Gimme a second.”

He ended up nudging the flashlight over the edge and George and Ant scrambled for it, but it was too late. They followed the light down and it landed with a loud clang against more stone. It illuminated at the bottom the dropped pencil as well as what looked like something down there, like a cave.

“Don’t suppose anyone sees a rope or ladder or stairs down there?” George proposed.

“Damn it. My father’s going to kill me. I borrowed these from his toolshed,” Sapnap said, gesturing with the remaining flashlight.

“I don’t think we’re getting that other one back,” George remarked.

“No need to state the obvious,” Ant sniffed. They backed away from the well and glanced around the room, hoping to see something else worth their time. Bad stuck near Sapnap since he had the only light near and Ant leaned against the well, staring at the pictures on the wall. Most were too faded to make sense of.

George glanced back over the edge of the well absently as he circled the room and saw the flashlight below flicker. He reapproached the well and glanced over, just in time to see the flashlight turn off.

“The flashlight went out down there!” George exclaimed.

“We should leave!” Bad immediately said.

“Prolly the batteries knocked loose,” Sapnap said, turning to face George, bringing the flashlight with him to shine over the edge. Ant didn’t even turn around as Sapnap tried using the flashlight to see down below. Even with Sapnap, sticking his hand down in the well, the light didn’t reach the bottom. “Whatever. We’ll go. I’m hungry.”

“You know, this could still make a good story to tell Skeppy. He likes when you tell him of our adventures, Bad,” Ant suggested and Bad shook his head. “Sapnap, can you shine the light on the way we came in so we can all get out.”

“Yeah, Bad you want to go first?”

“Ant can,” Bad volunteered Ant who snorted.

“Scared the boogeymen followed us here and are just waiting for us to leave to finally get us,” George teased, elbowing Bad who elbowed him back harder.

Ant fake screamed before laughing. “I’m out. Come on, Bad.”

Bad jumped, then elbowed George again, as if it had been his idea. “Cut it out. Fine. Fine.”

Sapnap and George exchanged looks, as Sapnap held the flashlight pointed at the edge, waving it a little in slight tease as Bad wormed his way through the gap. George went next, but a noise startled him and Sapnap when he was only one arm through.

Sapnap swept the flashlight over to the source of the noise, startling Bad and Ant who he plunged into darkness doing that.

“Hey!”

“Why?”

Sapnap’s light finally landed on the pencil on the ground near the well. He tensed, almost in disbelief, but then with a sort of cocky assurance, approached the well again, and glanced to George.

George understood the unspoken message. He crossed to stand next to Sapnap as he swept the light down again into the well.

Nothing. Just darkness.

“Guys? Hello? We’re stuck in darkness and I don’t like it,” Bad complained.

“Thought we heard something,” George answered, staring over the edge. He wasn’t really comprehending the darkness, until it suddenly wasn’t darkness. The flashlight had turned on down there, but it was being held by someone. His brain was able to pick out a white face peering up at him, flashlight in hand pointed up at them when Sapnap yelled and startled enough to take a few steps away from the well, leaving George with the ghastly visage of only the illuminated smile below.

“What!”

“Someone’s down there!” Sapnap said.

“Let’s go!” Bad yelled insistent and George agreed, backing away from the well and to the crack in the wall. He grabbed the flashlight from Sapnap when he was halfway through, holding it for Sapnap so he could work his way through. Bad was clutching Ant’s arm, glancing between them and the way they came in desperately. “We need to go!”

“I know!” George said. “Sapnap, you good?”

“I’m good,” Sapnap said, straightening. “I’ll lead us out.”

“Quickly, please,” Bad said, practically shoving Sapnap as he tightly squeezed past Ant and George to take the lead. He was the one who knew the caves best, but it meant George was taking the back as they left, staying as close as he could to Sapnap, but left in near darkness due to their now limited light sources.

As they squeezed through the tight passages they took before, George found his heart getting steadily faster and more nervous, his sweaty hands picking up more dirt than they ought to as they scraped across the walls of the cave as he followed the sound of Bad’s voice and Sapnap’s light.

It felt like something was right behind them. George knew it would do him no good. There was no light behind them. He wouldn’t be able to see.

But he glanced behind them.

And saw nothing.

But it felt. Like there was something behind them.

Eventually, they got out of their tight passageway they took and were back into the parts of the cave they knew better, jogging lightly to get out of their faster until they were in the parts lit by sunlight. They were dirt-covered, sweaty and a little shaken, but after a moment, Sapnap laughed.

“You guys should have seen your faces,” Sapnap said, laughing.

“What?” Bad questioned, indignant.

“It was probably nothing. Just a moth, right George?”

George thought back to the terrible smiling face below. “Yeah.”

…

[Present Day]

But as George knew now. It hadn’t been a moth. He felt his hand shaking as he leaned his head back and held his breath, his ears practically homed in only on the featherlight footsteps right outside the door. The steps passed the door after a moment, but George didn’t take a proper breath in, just breathing ever so slightly through his nose.

After all this time. It was back.

It hunted them. It killed some people then.

It’d do it again.

The first death was someone near the sight last time.

…

[Past]

George woke up in the morning without a thought to the day’s events before. There was no reason to be bothered by them, even as he headed off to school. It remained a forgotten trip until he and his friends had made it home and were about to write off the hasty essays and what not and be off to their own devices.

When George’s mom shook her head as he came in, holding the phone. “Oh, George. Not today. Stay in. There’s been an accident near here. The neighbor’s son. He—He fell terribly ill.”

Terribly ill had been a very nice way to say found disemboweled in his bed, his head missing. A very gory death.

The boys discussed it at school the next day. Only Bad and George seemed to reckon it was connected to the cave. “No child murderers live here! We’d have heard of it before if they had,” Bad reasoned.

“Unless a child murderer just moved here,” Sapnap said.

“I reckon child murderers don’t live places. They just keep moving,” Ant said.

“I feel like there was something in the cave,” George said. “What we saw was probably a moth, but it felt creepy in there.”

“Not you too,” Sapnap muttered, taking a bite of his sandwich. “I think you’re over-blowing it.”

But that had only been the first death. The second one, hit much closer to home. While George’s mom had prevented him from hanging out with the others the other day, his father had no same fears and let him leave after he confirmed he finished his chores and what not.

They were in Ant’s backyard, play fencing with swords when Ant gave a cry. “She hasn’t come back!”

“Who?”

“Mimi.”

“Doesn’t she normally spend all day sunbathing out here,” Bad questioned, ducking Sapnap’s attempted foul move of knocking him upside the head. “She’s too old to go far.”

“But she always comes when it’s dinner time,” Ant muttered. “Mimi,” he called out at the woods, beckoning for his old, arthritis ridden cat.

No cat came.

George had been taking a break and got up, stepping past Sapnap who was doing an impressive job of blocking every hit. “Let’s go look for her,” he suggested to Ant.

They didn’t have to go far.

They saw the figure, yellow, bright and hunched over a carcass with a collar on it. The white mask stained red.

“Mimi!” Ant cried out, and he charged the figure, only being held back by George, as the figure straightened, its white face turning to look at them. “My cat!”

“Ant!”

The figure started towards them and George pulled Ant with him back towards his yard. They stopped only when they hit the backporch. Ant was sniveling quietly to himself, and George’s eyes were peeled on the small woods.

Nothing came out of it. But if he squinted he could see a white mask behind the trees.

Sapnap and Bad lowered their wooden sticks, glancing to the two with obvious concern. “Oh god, did she finally croak?” Sapnap questioned.

“Something killed her! I saw her dead body!”

“And the thing from the cave was hunched over her,” George said.

“What—you said you didn’t see anything?” Bad protested, suddenly suspicious. “This isn’t a prank?”

“No—”

“I didn’t see anything hunched over, Mimi,” Ant said, wiping at his tears. “What are you—”

“The thing holding the flashlight in the cave,” George said turning to Sapnap. “You saw it! It was in those woods hunched over the cat!”

“I only saw the floating flashlight,” Sapnap said. “Nothing—why would only you be able to see it?”

“I don’t know!” George said. He glanced to the woods. “It’s out there. Watching us. I can feel it.”

The boys went silent, eyes turning to the woods. “Where is it at?” Bad whispered.

George focused on the woods, but he couldn’t make out any mask shapes within it. “I’m not sure. I just—I just can.” He made eye contact with the pale white face.

…

[Present]

George inched away from the wall, further into the room. He could grab something. This time, the thing knew what George could do. It knew George could put him back in there. That George alone had the power to vanquish him.

Maybe that’s why this time it went after his friends first. Ant was a cat now, there was no curing that. Bad was…wasn’t human anymore either.

He was the only one that could do anything now. George took a deep breath, feeling his heart lock in his throat. There was no escaping it. However, it had gotten out again. Clearly. It wasn’t permanent. Someone had let it out. One of them had to. It took four of them to put it back. It’d only have taken one of them to let it out.

But they got rid of it. They vanquished it. Or so he thought.

…

[Past]

Four boys, an old history teacher and a now childless mother stood over the stone well, now covered again. There was now chains on top and as a final send off, plain English explaining why this shouldn’t ever be opened again.

“It’s over,” Sapnap said.

“Three weeks of terror,” the gruff history teacher said. He’d been named Oldman or something, he moved away after this. His voice had a grim humor. “Three children killed, two adults. And all we had to do to put it back was practically bait it like a mouse on a trap.”

His eyes turned to George. “You listen here, young man—”

“They’ve had a rough day, let’s just get out of here,” the mother said. She gestured them out, but George felt the history teacher’s eyes on his back.

He wasn’t surprised when the woman’s back was turned, he pulled George aside properly this time, jabbing a finger in his chest. “You’re the one the curse is tied to. You’re the one who first made eye contact with it. It’s marked you. When it comes back, you’ll be the only one able to put it back. You’re the only one who can see it properly. You know properly how horrible it looks.”

“I don’t—I can’t,” George stammered.

“Your friends’ lives depend on it.”

“Stephen Olderman, leave that boy alone—are you daft?” His neighbor and the mother of one of those boys he’d never learned the name of cut in, shuffling him back to the safety of his group of friends.

But they were never the same. Ant was haunted. Bad was always itching at his skin. And Sap shuddered, a small tick came over him. Almost as if maybe George hadn’t saved Sapnap in time. That the thing had taken apart of Sapnap with it when it was sealed. Like it called Sapnap to it.

…

[Present]

Sapnap had to have let it out. He was the only one who had any reason to. He was—possessed to. It couldn’t be helped. He couldn’t blame Sapnap.

But with Ant and Bad taken care of, and Sapnap willing to let it out. Then the only person left that could be a threat was…him. George was alone.

And it floored him. He sunk to the ground, suddenly his mind too blank to think about planning some brilliant escape.

He could hear the room next to the one he was in being searched and he decided he couldn’t run anymore. He was facing the creature. He was the only one who could see it. The thing that called itself Dream.

George stood, crossed the room quickly, his heart beating so hard he felt faint, his vision swimming at the edges. He gripped the brass doorknob and twisted it, throwing it open and getting ready to confront the monster.

It exited the room it had been in, clearly having heard George. It stood a few inches taller than him, with the white mask covering its face. It seemed, put-off, George had just revealed himself. Standing weaponless and unprepared before the monster, George just grit his teeth.

“I can’t take this anymore.”

Dream tilted his head, a question.

“You’re going to keep hunting me down. No matter where I go. I can’t vanquish you. Not with Sapnap…under your control. I give up. Kill me.”

Dream took a step forward, raising the sword, but he didn’t move to kill George, seemingly giving him time to change his mind.

“It’s going to come down to this. We banished you before, but that wasn’t enough. You’d already taken your—taken something—someone—to coerce us into letting you out again. If Sapnap could be…fixed—you’d do it again.”

Dream lowered his head. A nod or small sign of acceptance. Maybe it was nothing.

“We fucked up. We opened your tomb. And now…Ant’s a cat. Bad’s this weird…monster. Sapnap is possessed by something and nearly killed me and you—” George spread his arms wide. “I guess…I’m done running. I’m done.”

Dream took a step forward, pressing the sword to his chest, then lowered it until it was digging into his stomach. He was planning to disembowel him.

“Just one question for you?” George questioned.

The monster looked at him.

“Why me? Why can I see you?”

Dream lowered the sword again, and grabbed George by the collar, dragging him close. He was close enough he could feel his breath hitting Dream’s mask

“I wanted you to see me when I killed you,” Dream said, and ran him through.

#febuwhump #febuwhump day 2 #dnf #fanfic

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stillwinterair · 5 years ago

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2020 in books so far! All 21 of them!

Season of Storms by Andrzej Sapkowski -- Finished January 1st. My least favorite Witcher novel. In a series that managed to surprise and endear me at every turn, this one final romp did almost nothing for me. 2/5 stars.

Star Wars: Hard Merchandise by K.W. Jeter -- Finished January 17th. The final chapter in the Bounty Hunter Wars trilogy, and by far the worst of the three. 2/5 stars.

Migration by Julie E. Czerneda -- Finished February 18th. The middle chapter in Czerneda’s excellent Species Imperative trilogy, fun and charismatic, sciencey and cute. Didn’t hit me quite the same way as the first in the trilogy did, but still had fun. 4/5 stars.

Star Wars: Heir to the Empire by Timothy Zahn -- Finished February 2nd. It was okay. 3/5 stars.

To be continued under the cut, including thoughts on The Expanse, which has taken over my life this year:

Mass Effect: Revelation by Drew Karpyshyn -- Finished February 25th. Borrowed from a coworker, was immensely disappointed, decided once and for all I wasn’t going to touch tie-in novels for the rest of the year. That wound up being a great decision. 2/5 stars.

The City of Brass by S.A. Chakraborty -- Finished March 12th. The first of Chakraborty’s Daevabad trilogy, this was a great little historical fantasy fiction about a half-djinn caught up in about a thousand tropes I usually hate, but were written with care and nuance and charm. 4/5 stars.

Midway through The City of Brass, news of a virus overseas begin making waves.

Ancillary Justice by Ann Leckie -- Finished March 29th. The first of Leckie’s Imperial Radch saga. So, so, so many incredible concepts that I loved dearly... but all just slightly off to the side of where they would normally hit me. I wanted to love this book so badly, and it kept almost hitting me, but never quite did, at least not as hard as I wanted it to. Still, I enjoyed the world and the characters enough that I bought the sequel and will read it soon. 3/5 stars.

AAAAAND PANDEMIC! I began this book when I was still working, and finished it while in quarantine. So that’s fun. From here on out, all of these books were read from my couch or my bed.

The Goblin Emperor by Katherine Addison -- Finished April 16th. Another book I wanted desperately to love and... succeeded a bit more than with Ancillary Justice, thanks to how ceaselessly charming it was. But the names. Oh, god this book is full of fake fantasy names and titles and you have to remember all of them and the glossary isn’t always helpful. But, still. I found myself so endeared, I couldn’t put it down. 4/5 stars.

Leviathan Wakes by James S.A. Corey -- Finished May 3rd. The first book of The Expanse, and I fell in love instantly. This one hit all the right buttons and didn’t stop: good science fiction, fun space adventure, charming characters, perfect level of tension, the list goes on. And reading this one was... the beginning of a certain obsession I’ve had this year. 5/5 stars.

Consider Phlebas by Iain M. Banks -- Finished May 21st. The latter half of this book? Great. Stellar. The first half...? Uhhhhh. Eh? By far one of the most insufferable protagonists I’ve ever had to slog through, but some really cool scifi concepts here (and also some really bad ones -- the whole desert island cannibal thing was stupid as hell, but the Damage Game got me). 3/5 stars.

Caliban’s War by James S.A. Corey -- Finished May 30th. The second book in The Expanse series. I could not put this one down. Everything I loved about Leviathan Wakes, amplified a thousand times. The additions of Bobbie, Prax, and Avasarala made me ascend. This book fired on all cylinders and I loved every moment of it; it stands as one of my three favorite Expanse books so far -- but we’ll get to those. Anyway, I can’t give it 6/5, so we’ll have to settle with: 5/5 stars.

Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut -- Finished June 1st. A book I’d been meaning to read for a while and finally got around to. Literally finished it in two sittings. Mostly it made me sad. 4/5 stars.

The Strong Shall Live by Louis L’Amour -- Finished June 2nd. A collection of wild west short stories. A couple were great, a few were awful -- most were just okay. I’d been reading it slowly since December, and finishing felt more like a weight off my mind than anything else. Still, some of these stories were incredibly memorable. 3/5 stars.

Larissa by Emily Devenport -- Finished June 4th. I read this in about three sittings overall, which is a lot faster than I usually read. It wasn’t particularly good, but it was the exact sort of scifi junk I eat up for some reason. This is... a very, very weird one. It was very progressive for the time (the book is as old as I am), so much so that I wasn’t surprised to find her on Twitter very publicly supporting BLM and decrying the current administration. It’s about a black woman in space, wealth disparity, and a bunch of other stuff. Some of it works, some of it doesn’t, but Devenport was trying, all the way back in 93. It’s also the sequel to a book I didn’t know existed until I’d already finished, but I guess that one didn’t matter so much to the plot of Larissa? Anyway, had a blast, even though I can’t quite put a finger on why. 4/5 stars. (I actually had this one marked as 3/5 stars, but my memories of it are all very positive, so... it was worth the bump.)

Abaddon’s Gate by James S.A. Corey -- Finished June 13th. Third in The Expanse, and not my favorite. The pacing in the first half was a little wonky, but once it gets going, boy does it go. 4/5 stars.

Regeneration by Julie E. Czerneda -- Finished June 25th. The final entry in the Species Imperative trilogy. This might have been my least favorite of the three, unfortunately, as much like Ancillary Justice it always seemed to hit just to the side of where I wanted it to. The first one was by far my favorite, and the third installment just couldn’t recapture that magic, but I love the protagonist and was happy to walk with her to the end. Plus, as always, there’s some damn good science fiction here. 4/5 stars.

Cibola Burn by James S.A. Corey -- Finished July 4th. HELL YEAH MOTHERFUCKER, this one has everything! I don’t even want to spoil what, just know that this is exactly what you want after Abaddon’s Gate, and had everything it was missing and more. This one rocked my fucking world, and is one of my three favorite Expanse books so far. Another one I’d rate higher if I could, but for now... 5/5 stars.

The Curse of Chalion by Lois McMaster Bujold -- DNF, July 8th. This book had me until the 35-year-old protagonist started trying to hide his arousal while he was watching the two teenage girls he was tutoring swim, and it was played off as like... cute? I don’t know man, fuck this book, it made me miserable.

Nemesis Games by James S.A. Corey -- Finished July 16th. Once again, HELL YEAH MOTHERFUCKER, HELL YEAH! This book begins with some of the slowest pacing in the series so far, but god, have they earned it. It feels so good to just take a break and walk a mile in the shoes of all your favorite characters. And then when things hit? Boy do they fucking hit. The third in my trifecta of favorite Expanse books so far, and another I’d rate higher if I could. 5/5 stars.

The Assassin’s Curse by Cassandra Rose Clarke -- Finished July 21st. I really thought this was going to be a fun pirate book. Instead, it’s a book about a fun pirate slogging along with the most obnoxious man in the history of fiction, who she is also falling in love with, apparently, for some reason. I don’t know. This is a duology but idk if I’m even interested in the sequel. Which is a shame, because I really liked the protagonist. 2/5 stars.

Babylon’s Ashes by James S.A. Corey -- Finished August 5th. Definitely my least favorite Expanse novel so far, mostly because the narrative was stretched very thin. This one hit really fucking hard toward the beginning, and again at the end, but in the middle? The middle was very... nebulous. A lot happens and I’m not interested in all of it, which is something this series has thus far managed to avoid doing. Still, very good, just not quite up to the standards I’m used to from this series. 4/5 stars.

And... it’s August! And I haven’t picked up another book since the 5th, which feels weird, but is due to a lot of factors. I’m in the middle of moving, so I don’t have as much time to read during the day. But also I’m waiting on a shipment of books to come in, and it hasn’t yet, and that’s stressing me out. Of those, there are a couple I’m leaning toward reading, but if the ol’ Read The First Page trick doesn’t work on any of them, I’ll probably hop back to Imperial Radch.

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meditativeyoga · 6 years ago

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Cross-Train with Yoga? Winning!

If you run, cycle, or swim, exercise this sequence 3 or more times a week after your much easier exercises. Start with Adho Mukha Svanasana (Downward-Facing Pet Posture) and stay for a few breaths, transforming your emphasis internal. Notification your power level, and also sign up any kind of areas of tightness or openness in your body. Equally as you start a training session with a feeling of purpose, take a minute to establish a purpose for your practice.

Lentine Zahler had actually always imagined doing an Ironman triathlon, and now she was in Kona, Hawaii, at the Globe Championship. She had completed a little bit majority of the 112-mile biking portion, which took her from a rich environment-friendly community of midtown Kona up a hill to brutally warm black-rock lava areas. Tough winds were blowing bikers laterally on their bikes, as well as Zahler, incapable to let go of her handlebars for anxiety of falling over, had gone the entire distance without solid food. She was achingly starving, irritable, and also worn down. She could not remember why she had registered for this torture as well as considered surrendering. However after that she transformed her focus internal, deepened her breath, as well as really felt a sense of calm come her. She guided interest to the locations of her body where she was holding stress and also launched them. Lastly, she showed up on level ground and was able to liberate one hand to eat. Rather of dwelling on the aggravation of the previous 70 miles, she discovered she was able to be in today minute and also allow the past go. Simply put, she tapped into every little thing she 'd learned via her yoga practice, and she completed the race in good time-- and also with a sensation of ease.

Her story is inspiring, but not uncommon. Zahler, who is likewise a yoga educator in Rose city, Oregon, is component of an expanding variety of endurance athletes-- marathon joggers, cyclists, and also triathletes-- that have actually located that the physical as well as psychological practices of yoga can help them stop injuries, boost their performance, as well as bring a whole brand-new measurement of understanding and joy to the sports they love.

Putting the Body at Ease

One of things many athletes love regarding sporting activities like running, cycling, as well as swimming is that balanced, repetitive motion over cross countries could be deeply introspective. The drawback of this activity from a physical point of sight is that the continual cycles of repeated motion tax obligation one collection of muscular tissues while underutilizing the rest. With time and range, this develops muscle discrepancies that can result in imbalance and also injury. 'If you have also a small misalignment in your stride, when you duplicate that activity over and over, it could cause injury,' states Sage Rountree, a yoga exercise teacher and also triathlon coach in Church Hill, North Carolina, as well as the writer of The Athlete's Guide to Yoga exercise. Runners, she says, have the tendency to have actually overworked hip flexors and quadriceps and underworked glutes. Rountree educates lunges as a means for joggers to launch the hip flexors in their back legs while stretching as well as reinforcing the hamstrings of their front legs. As well as since the form of a lunge resembles the jogger's stride, she says, it is an excellent way for joggers to analyze their positioning and also balance.

According to bicyclist as well as Stanford College workout physiologist Stacy Sims, bicyclists develop comparable kinds of discrepancies. Since they are continuously in a crouched setting on the bike, their quads and gluteus muscular tissues have the tendency to be solid, but their hip flexors are tight as well as weak, she claims. 'Yoga opens up the hips up as well as enhances the bordering muscles, which could prevent injury.'

In enhancement to the anxieties of repeated movement, there's also the matter of holding the body in one placement for a very long time, whether it's crouched down over a bike or in a running stride. The body ends up being gotten, with the shoulders as well as the back rounding forward. The majority of us currently have a rather forward-leaning posture, simply from daily-life activities like resting at a workdesk. Presuming a similar setting while running or cycling aggravates the tightening as well as could bring about back discomfort as well as postural issues. Presents like Anjaneyasana (Low Lunge) that open the front body, consisting of the hip flexors, can neutralize this.

And to strengthen the core muscular tissues should support the stance during training, Rountree teaches postures like Virabhadrasana III (Warrior Pose III) and One-Legged Plank Posture. 'When the core muscular tissues tire while you're running, you wind up slouching,' she says.

Body Conscious

In addition to fixing muscular inequalities and imbalance, yoga exercise uses athletes an additional device for protecting against injuries: enhanced body recognition. 'With yoga, you begin to feel your body extra,' says Ed Harrold, the director of yoga exercise and sporting activities training for the Kripalu Institute for Phenomenal Living in Stockbridge, Massachusetts, and also the originator of the Versatility for Professional athletes efficiency training program. Harrold recommends that athletes hold postures for 10 to 20 breaths at once to create body recognition. By doing so, he claims, you could discover exactly how the body really feels when uninjured and come to be far more aware of 'yellow lights' (stabs of pain or pain that could signal the starts of an injury) when taking part in a sport.

Increased body understanding additionally suggests discovering ways to isolate the muscular tissues you need so that you could loosen up the ones you do not. 'In an endurance sport, you should have one of the most effective type you can,' states Rountree. 'You don't wish to be running with your arm joints out by your shoulders or your shoulders hunched up to your ears. That mishandles. You desire to conserve that power because you are mosting likely to be out there for a long time.' To exercise this awareness, Rountree suggests standing in a lunge and also scanning the body. If you are involving muscles in places like the shoulders or neck, practice launching them. You'll then have the ability to repeat this on the track.

Recreational range cyclist Greg Merritt of Berkeley, The golden state, says that discovering this concept through yoga has been a massive benefit. 'Holding stress needlessly for 5, 15, or 25 hrs on the bike will certainly result in numberless problem, as well as can also cause the feared 'DNF'-- did not end up,' he says. 'Now, as I ride, I do continuous self-checks concerning how I'm holding myself on the bike. It's sort of like discovering how to own an auto and constructing the behavior of watching the roadway ahead, your mirrors, your speedometer, and more, yet this is a routine of interior tracking, keeping check on my body from the inside.' Includes Zahler, 'If I am on the race track, and I feel pain someplace in my body, my yoga practice has actually instructed me to look for compensation in various other locations.' She states that this body scanning has likewise showed her to take a stock of how every little thing feels as a whole. 'My service the mat has offered me the chance to discover the manner in which my body serves as an interconnected system and usage that interconnectivity as a device anywhere I could be.'

Sporting Mind

By meaning, endurance professional athletes have to endure, whether you're taking part in a triathlon, running a marathon, or perhaps pursuing a weekend 10k bike ride. Yet your mind typically tells you that you have actually had enough prior to your body is actually prepared to stop. By practicing mindfulness on the mat, says Rountree, endurance professional athletes could discover to be existing with any kind of variety of sensations-- pain, dullness, stress and anxiety, resistance-- while training or competing. 'There are always minutes in a yoga exercise class when we feel restless,' claims Rountree. 'In some cases it's difficult to remain in Utkatasana (Chair Pose) for another few breaths, but we learn how to do it anyhow. We find out that uneasyness is just a hostility that the mind is tossing at us, and we maintain going.' Taking this ability right into endurance sports can give a professional athlete a tremendous edge.

Jason Magness, AcroYoga educator and co-founder of Yoga-Slackers, claims that the mindfulness he's learned via his yoga practice has actually gotten him with his hardest endurance-sport experiences. While on a multiday exploration travelling race in Moab, Utah, he began to worry. He was tired and distressed regarding just what was to find-- as well as he was just halfway with. 'I was already unpleasant, as well as every little thing appeared so far away. I believed, 'I am never going to finish.' '

But he had the ability to use just what he found out on the yoga mat to bring him back into the here and now moment. He thought regarding exactly what he does at the beginning of his Ashtanga technique when he obtains distressed concerning the backbends that come with the end. 'In my technique, I would certainly claim, 'I am simply mosting likely to feel what it's like to be in this asana, in this breath.' So I began to do that throughout the race, and also I had the ability to claim that I was doing was a lengthy technique.' Instantly, he states, the future really did not issue. 'I was just able to feel just what was taking place currently-- as well as keep going.'

Seated reflection is one more way to exercise stilling the mind, which could help professional athletes stay focused while competing. If you could take this tranquil state with you into activity, your initiative ends up being effortless, states John Douillard, a previous expert triathlete who techniques Ayurvedic and also chiropractic sports medication in Boulder, Colorado.

' It's all about the capacity to be tranquil during dynamic stress and anxiety,' he states. Douillard compares the stillness of the mind throughout a long run or ride to the still eye of a hurricane. 'This is the runner's high. For most professional athletes, this state is an arbitrary event that they often stumble into. Yoga offers you the capability to get in right into it often.'

Learning to Breathe

Many yoga educators will certainly inform you that the breath is whatever-- a tool for meditation, a way of routing power throughout your body, and a sharp indicator of your physical as well as psychological state throughout technique. In a similar way, the breath is an important part of any kind of endurance professional athlete's training. The breath dictates athletic efficiency, and efficiency determines the breath-- when you are slowing, you'll see your breath coming to be superficial and struggled. Superficial breathing, claims Douillard, promotes the considerate nerve system, that makes you anxious. That zaps your power much more. If you can discover a steady, even pace of deep breathing while moving through an asana technique, you can take that skill as well as apply it while running or riding.

Douillard suggests practicing Ujjayi Pranayama (Victorious Breath) while training, which causes the parasympathetic nerves and develops a neurological calmness in your mind. Deep nasal breathing brings the mind into a steady alpha state, he claims, which is suitable for grappling psychologically with lengthy distances. Simply bringing focus to the breath additionally aids professional athletes to remain focused when going fars away, which is a terrific antidote for something that also one of the most enthusiastic and devoted endurance professional athletes claim they struggle with now and then: monotony.' You see everybody out there running with their iPods,' claims Rountree. 'They need some type of distraction. However there's so much inside to pay focus to. Emphasis on the breath, as well as you don't ever before have actually to be tired once more.'

Athlete's Breath

According to Dr. John Douillard, director of LifeSpa, an ayurvedic hideaway center in Stone, Colorado, as well as writer of Body, Mind, and also Sport, practicing Ujjayi Pranayama regularly could boost your athletic efficiency by soothing the mind as well as body and also allowing you to exert yourself much more efficiently. 'Breathing out with Ujjayi has the result of producing a reflective calmness throughout the task. That's what yoga is about, discovering the best ways to be both still and vibrant at the very same time.'

If you typically breathe via your mouth during workout, Douillard says, this strategy will take some obtaining made use of to. 'Most of us are accustomed to taking shallow breaths from the top breast, which is extremely inefficient,' he clarifies. 'When you breathe out with Ujjayi, you have an even more full breathing and also exhalation.' Exercise Ujjayi Pranayama at rest up until you fit with the method before attempting it while training.

1.Start by Breathing in usually with your nose.

2.Exhale with your nose. As you exhale, restrict your throat slightly, making your exhalation audible. You'll discover that, in normal nose breathing, you could feel the air coming out through your nostrils, but here you ought to feel a feeling in your upper throat, it does not feel as though air is moving with your nostrils a lot at all.

Try making this noise without restricting your stomach muscles. If you're doing it correctly, you'll find it's impossible making the noise without a little contracting your stomach muscles. Assume about squeezing the air out of your abdomen by tightening your abdominal muscle. The tighter you make your abdominal muscle during the exhalation, the more obvious the noise will certainly be. If you're not exactly sure you have actually obtained it, breathe out with your mouth open, as if you were fogging up a set of glasses for cleaning, the haaa audio you make comes from inside your throat as opposed to your mouth. Now, close your mouth and also make the same sound, and also bring the noise throughout your exhale.

Once you have mastered making this audio with a superficial breath, begin to increase the size of the breath and the vibration of the noise. Maintain boosting the deepness of the breath until you are taking in every last little air as well as pressing out every last bit.

Anjaneyasana (Low Lunge), variation

Anjaneyasana opens up the hip flexors, which can be extremely limited in joggers and also cyclists. It enhances as well as stabilizes the quadriceps muscular tissues on the front leg and also stretches the external hip, both which are necessary for healthy and balanced knees. This pose likewise works the erector spinae muscular tissues, which run up and down to sustain the spine. The split stance enhances the series of movement in the running stride.

From Downward Facing Dog, step your best leg ahead into a lunge with your shin vertical to the ground and your right knee straight over your right heel. Drop your left knee to the ground, well behind your left hip. Maintain your hips low as well as settled towards the front of your mat. Raise from your upper body and also extend your arms expenses. Find an equilibrium in your appropriate leg between security and also remainder, as well as see the intensity of the stretch in your left hip and also upper leg. Hold for 5 breaths, after that repeat with your left leg forward. Notice just how your experience differs between sides.

Virabhadrasana I (Warrior Position I)

Warrior I constructs toughness as well as stretches the hip flexors of the back leg as it opens up the front of the body.

Stand with your feet 3 1/2 to 4 feet apart. Transform your left foot in 45 degrees, and turn your torso to encounter your best leg. On an inhalation, move your arms alongside your ears, maintaining your shoulders low. Get to strongly via your arms, raising your midsection up as well as from your pelvis. As you breathe out, flex your right knee toward 90 degrees, keeping it straight over your right ankle. Press back via your left leg, grounding with your left heel, and also bring your left hip onward, maintaining your spine long and your chest wide. Hold for 4 to 5 breaths. Turn up on an inhalation, pressing your left heel right into the floor and also aligning your right knee. Repeat on the other side.

Virabhadrasana III (Warrior Posture III)

This conditioning posture improves balance and emphasis while extending the hamstrings.

Come into Warrior I with your right leg onward. Shift your weight into your appropriate leg as well as, on an exhalation, integrate the straightening of the front leg and also the lifting of the back leg as you enter into Warrior III. With your hips even as well as parallel to the flooring and your arms expanded in front of you, press back through your left heel. Inhale and also go back to Warrior I, exhale as well as return to Warrior III. Repeat 4 times, and on the last time, remain in Warrior III for 5 breaths. Repeat on the other side.

Eka Pada Rajakapotasana (One-Legged King Pigeon Posture), variation

Come onto all fours, with your knees straight listed below your hips and your hands a little ahead of your shoulders. Slide your right knee forward behind your right wrist, positioning your right shin at an angle under your upper body. The beyond your right shin will relax on the flooring. Gradually slide your left leg back.

Lower the beyond your right buttock to the flooring, maintaining your hips made even to the front (if needed, position a folded up blanket under the best butt for assistance), with your right heel simply before your left hip. Bend your right ankle joint to safeguard your right knee. Fold your torso onward over the best thigh. Clear up in for a longer hold, either propped on your arm joints or prolonging your arms in front of you. Develop towards holding for 3 or 4 minutes. Repeat on the various other side.

This longer Yin-style hold develops a deep go for the iliotibial band that leaves the external upper leg and the hip potter's wheels, which could become extremely limited on endurance professional athletes. Use the feelings you really feel in this posture as a possibility to discover how you react to intensity. Can you experience feeling without wasting power fighting it? Could you inform when the sensation is triggering you to draw back a little?

Happy Baby Pose

This position releases the reduced back, extends adductors and also hamstrings, and also promotes recuperation in tired legs.

Lie on your back and flex your knees toward your tummy. Take hold of the beyond your feet (if you can't hold them pleasantly, hold your calf bones or behind the knees) as well as bring your knees towards the underarms, shins vertical to the ground, soles of the feet dealing with the sky. Release your low back and tailbone towards the ground. Delicately rock left as well as right to offer your back an enjoyable massage therapy. After 5 to 10 breaths, bring your knees with each other and put your feet on the floor.

Viparita Karani (Legs-up-the-Wall Pose)

This corrective pose gives a number of the advantages of inversion, consisting of improving healing, without being an active position. As a perk, you obtain a passive chest opening.

Place a thickly folded up blanket regarding 5 inches from a wall surface or various other upright support. Sit sidewards on the left end of the blanket, with your appropriate side against the wall surface. Exhale as well as bring your legs up onto the wall surface and your shoulders and also head gently down into the floor. (Your pelvis must rise by the covering.) Open your shoulder blades away from the spine as well as launch your hands as well as arms out to your sides, palms encountering up. As you rest for a few lots breaths, notice where the body is holding tension and also release it. To come from the posture, move off the assistance onto the flooring prior to looking to the side.

Karen Macklin is a writer, editor, as well as yoga teacher living in San Francisco.

#asana #healing #meditation #Pranayama #Yoga #yoga practice #yoga retreat #yoga teacher

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canichangemyblogname · 3 years ago

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My fave genre to write for is Sci Fi. I’ve always liked it because I am fascinated by science and technology and imagining a society full of neat advanced science and technology has always been really fun. This goes from technology like communication to travel—space or personal—to agriculture to medicine. Most of the original content I have written could be grouped in with the science-fiction genre.

I listed some examples below:

I started a story about a scientist hired by the military to create two superhumans, but he creates twin monsters. One looks like a monster, but has humanity while the other looks human but has no humanity. This is a stand alone story, but it’s really disjointed right now and is really just a series of random scene ideas. I might just make one of the scenes a short story instead of something longer and submit it to a local paper as a featured halloween story.

I started one that’s simply titled “space capitalism” for now. It makes a commentary on billionaires, companies, and colonialism in space; the “next frontier.” This is also a stand-alone story and it is completely outlined.

I have another one that’s a mix of, like, a high-fantasy epic and Sci-Fi. It follows some alien kids on earth who happen to be the children of Royalty on another planet. Their parents put them on earth to hide them from their evil uncle and they return to fight him and take their rightful places on the throne. This is a trilogy and I have all three written, but they NEED to be edited. Might just fuck around and rewrite them if I ever get the motivation because I wrote them when I was young—like 13/14—and they’re rough. (It was, like, one of the first long-term writing projects I committed myself to as I had only written short stories before then.)

I have another one that is a Sci-Fi dystopian sort of story that takes place in our future after climate catastrophe. This is a series that I started a long time ago and DNF and I dunno if I ever will. If I pick it back up, I think the only thing I would keep is the idea of post-climate catastrophe while I’d scrap everything else (the general plot, themes and characters). I think I would lean a little more into the advanced science and tech if I did pick this back up (that seems unlikely though).

I have another one where the Sci-Fi part has to do with survivalism and archeology (I wanted to be an archeologist when I was really young, so starting this project took me back) and the scientific discovery of something similar to, like, Atlantis. This is a stand-alone story that I have, like, half-written. It’s intended to be like a short adventure novel.

Additionally, I have a couple other stories that I have written or started that are not in the Sci-Fi genre:

A gun-powder high fantasy series that follows a thief. There are 4 books planned out and outlined. I have the first one written out completely and am in the process of editing it.

A realistic fiction book that makes a commentary about religion, class, and gender in the 21st century American city. I recently outlined/started it.

A children’s story about a circus that is finished.

If I were to publish anything, it would likely be my fantasy series, my realistic fiction book, and the children’s book. I would likely save the archeological adventure story and the “space capitalism” story for later. If I find the motivation, maybe I’ll include the alien-kid trilogy after heavy editing (although I am leaning toward scrapping it).

#Writing #original content #stories #short stories #series #novels #science fiction #fantasy

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bforbookslut · 8 years ago

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Sin-Eating and Cliffhangers in Tochi Onyebuchi’s Beasts Made of Night: ARC Review

This book was provided to me by the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. This review edition is an ARC and may differ from the final edition.

I have given Beasts Made of Night by Tochi Onyebuchi a ☆☆☆ rating. It belongs to the Young Adult Fantasy genre with some Romance and Adventure elements. Razorbill/Penguin Random House publishes it. It was published October 31, 2017.

The blurb reads:

In the walled city of Kos, corrupt mages can magically call forth sin from a sinner in the form of sin-beasts – lethal creatures spawned from feelings of guilt.

Taj is the most talented of the aki, young sin-eaters indentured by the mages to slay the sin-beasts. But Taj’s livelihood comes at a terrible cost. When he kills a sin-beast, a tattoo of the beast appears on his skin while the guilt of committing the sin appears on his mind. Most aki are driven mad by the process, but 17-year-old Taj is cocky and desperate to provide for his family.

When Taj is called to eat a sin of a royal, he’s suddenly thrust into the center of a dark conspiracy to destroy Kos. Now Taj must fight to save the princess that he loves – and his own life.

A gritty Nigerian-influenced fantasy.

Add to Your Shelf | Goodreads | Instagram | Other Reviews

Quick life update: I’m sorry I’ve been so quiet as of late, especially to publishers and publicists who send me ARCs. Thank you for putting your faith and trust in me. I’ve just recently quit my job and taking a break from work life to focus on developing my passion project: this blog and my bookstagram.

As we near closer to the end of the year, you can expect more frequent reviews as I churn them out like a factory because I’ve missed so many that my calendar is obsolete. I’m already preparing for next year’s releases and let me tell you, they are stunning!

As always, my reviews may contain spoilers. I say may because what’s a spoiler to you may not be a spoiler for me.

Verdict:

It’s always disappointing when a diverse read’s future hangs in the balance, especially when it ends on an equally disappointing cliffhanger. I didn’t DNF it because I did like it. But, no sequel has yet been announced for Beasts Made of Night, unusual for a book that has received this much attention and hype. And I can see from a business point of view why. The Goodreads score is low and the reviews lean towards negative as opposed to positive.

I’m afraid that mine is no different.

Beasts Made of Night follows Taj as he struggles with being the only sin-eater who’s sins do not fade from his skin. When a sin-eater eats a sin, it appears on his skin in the form of an animal (the sin also appears as an animal) like a sort of tattoo and fades away slowly. But Taj’s sins do not fade and he is left with almost no visible “skin”, only tattoos. Because he is unique in this sense and also highly-skilled and trained, he is called upon by the royal family to serve as teacher to new sin eaters. But of course, there are more malicious reasons than simply training young ones. There is also a plot against the royal family and a massive twist that no one sees coming.

Beasts Made of Night made lofty promises: diverse, Nigerian-inspired, sin-eaters! It’s everything that a YA fantasy needs to fulfil these days and I was excited when I received the ARC. I’ll admit, I didn’t know what sin-eating was and only found out later that it is an actual belief and practice rooted deeply in many cultures. And Beasts Made of Night brought this spiritual practice to life.

The general plot was interesting enough that I kept on reading despite it being one that’s overdone. You know, “servant” boy falls in love with princess and she loves him back.

The landscape that Tochi Onyebuchi crafts is striking and intriguing, bringing to mind settings like that of The Wrath and the Dawn and The Star-Touched Queen (both are Indian inspired so, it seems similar and not the same. Don’t get me wrong). It is also evocative and it really makes you feel like you’re right there alongside Taj.

And, I love the sin-eating and politics and culture surrounding the practice. The worldbuilding is absolutely beautiful. It’s worth to pick up Beasts Made of Night only to read how the author has taken sin-eating and turned it into a way of life. It is surrounded by so much politics and societal norms, kind of what our world is like today. For example, sin-eaters are called upon by the royal family to purge them of their sins as the royal family is supposed to be “pure” and “untouched”, essentially guiltless and clean. And so, they remain pure and clean in the eyes of their nation.

But, in the end, it failed to deliver.

It rode too hard on it being a diverse read and its Nigerian influence. Beasts Made of Night couldn’t decide what it wanted to be. It lacked a plot structure, jumping from one twist to another. It lacked proper flow. The plot twists while taking my breath away also left me incredibly confused. There was no prelude, no warning. Just wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am.

Plus, the romance between Taj and the princess seemed incredibly forced and had no purpose at all being there. Firstly, it popped out of nowhere. One moment I’m reading about Taj and sin-eating and the next, he is madly in love with the princess and dreaming about her. The princess is also madly in love with him! It made absolutely no sense and it left a sour taste in my mouth. I hope this isn’t a fault of the ARC but poor editing.

Not to mention, the princess had absolutely no personality. Who is she? What is she? What does she like? Nothing. I can’t even remember her name cause she’s that forgettable.

And suddenly, Taj is “dying”. No warning, whatsoever. But the sins are on the verge of consuming his body and “eating” him alive aka Taj has burnout.

The pacing was also incredibly slow. I was 70% into the book and Taj was still moping about.

Note: Taj is always moping and lamenting about his life. While I get that it’s because sin-eaters are seen as trash in Kos, it lends an extremely somber tone to the entire book.

Perhaps the worst crime Beasts Made of Night could commit is that it.didn’t.end.the.book. The cliffhanger wasn’t even a fucking cliffhanger. It’s like someone took a knife to the book and sliced it in half. It’s exactly how ebooks end when they want you to purchase the next book in the series. It’s despicable, especially coming from a reputed publisher such as Random House.

But all is not lost!

The plot twist that comes at the end (finally thank you oh great book lords!) sets the pace for the rest of the series. A government overthrow and rebellion. Plus, I absolutely love Taj’s scholar friend, Aliya. She’s such a gem and I would love to see more of her. She’s blunt and honest and needs a little more tact but she’s got such a heart of gold and she’s so intelligent. I would definitely love to see more of her!

Conclusion:

Beasts Made of Night definitely falls into the trap of the Order of the Debuts and Order of the Firsts. If you can put up with all the negatives, I promise you, it’s worth it. It was engaging and interesting even though it forced me to keep up because of all the plot changes and it’s slow pacing. Plus, Aliya is such a gem. All hail Aliya.

#beasts made of night #tochi onyebuchi #book review #ya books #book #threestars #2017 publications #order of the debuts #order of the firsts

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zoestagg · 8 years ago

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Ironman Bintan 70.3...

**It took me nearly a month to write this, as I usually focus on the positive around here — but it’s also my scrapbook, and has been for a decade. This is worth having to look back on, and worth voicing as a female experience. The positive? I had a race crew that was willing to get on a plane for eight hours, schlep a bike internationally, and hang around waiting to cheer me on all day. They’re why while the race experience itself might have scarred me, the DNF didn’t embarrass me at all. How could it? There was still a bottle of champagne waiting at the hotel and a week left to float in the pool and explore. That’s the amazing part. Now…the rest.**

I felt rushed. I worked in the dark in my eight square inches of space to arrange my transition spot. I hadn’t eaten yet, I hadn’t found the porta-potties, and I hadn’t done one single open-water swim the entire training cycle.

That sounds like a race-anxiety nightmare, and that was only the first five minutes.

It was about to get way, way worse.

I’ve given up getting mad that they issue the women’s wave neon pink caps. It’s hack, but fine. Frankie is delighted when they get passed down to her immediately after. In the dozen of waves that waited in the corral for their chance to swim, there was only one of women.

The Pros and younger men’s age groups started off, and I tried not to throw up as I waited in the practice area, dipping my head in the water to make sure my goggles were good. It was as promised, blessedly smooth. Nothing like the squalling Mediterranean three years ago. And even though I hadn’t had the opportunity to swim outside of a pool, this was honestly as pool-like as it was going to get. The squared-off course was pretty straight forward.

All I had to do was get around it.

The green caps launched off, and the blue caps filed in. If you’ve never been to the start of a big corporate race, it’s not for the sound-sensitive. It’s loud. Constant announcements on a sort of endless yammer, music, repeat. At the start, there’s a sort of DJ/Emcee scenario. He was working the crowd, asking people where they’re from.

“Australia!” “All right then, mate!”

“USA!” “Right. Back of the line then.”

You guys. The world really isn’t pleased.

The horn blew and the blue caps splashed in, making room for the women. The pump-up music for the women’s wave started. I would say it was a really annoying one-off if it wasn’t played at every daggone race I’ve done.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.

Now excuse me while I REALLY try not to barf. You’re right, I spent two hours of every day, plus most of every weekend training to have FUN. You’re SECONDARILY RIGHT that no inspiring song about the female condition has been recorded since 1982. This would make me mad enough to swear right here if this was the extent of the grief I would be given for my gender that day, but it WASN’T AT ALL so stay flipping tuned.

I’m apparently still very, very mad.

When I did the Olympic distance ocean swim in my first race, I was so scared I wasn’t going to make the time cutoff. This go around, after I kind of jockeyed for space in my preferred spot, (back of the wave and as close to the line as possible) I got kind of calm. It wasn’t so bad. I just started swimming — PROPERLY, even. This is a big deal. Last ocean swim it was too choppy for me to put my head in. Sometimes in lakes there’s too much…nature to make it possible to crawl for long without wanting to scream the whole lake in. This time, eh. It was water.

IT WAS JUST WATER. And I swam.

I didn’t even panic much, when I heard them release the wave behind me. That didn’t stop me from being the girl who was yelling “NO TOUCHIES NO TOUCHIES” as my mantra when they got too close to my tail fins. Look. It’s the terrifying ocean with WILDLIFE, if you want to pass, just go around.

NO TOUCHIES.

I was feeling weirdly good. I don’t even remember the swim being much effort. It looked like I could have just stood up the whole time, which helped too. I think I checked my watch once at the half, and then not again until I could hear the music again at the swim out. 48:00. I had 70:00 minutes before I blew the deadline, I was fiiiiiine.

I swam as far in as I could, got out and pumped some fists that I didn’t have to try to peel off a wetsuit, and heard the *beep beep* as I crossed the timing mat. (Swim Time: 1900m/54:00)

This race, given that we had to schlep a bike and suitcase and everything on multiple planes and a ferry, meant that I didn’t bring a bunch of stuff I might have otherwise. Stuff, like oh, the race fuel I’m used to. I couldn’t really bring onigiri that far in advance, I couldn’t really pack a jar of peanut butter and tortillas, I just… Improvised. I’d downed a couple of handfuls of trail mix before the swim, and now before the bike, I crammed in bites of protein cookie washed down with water like a competitive eater. I pulled on my fanny pack with more snacks, pulled up my bib belt, and yanked my bike off the rack. I was feeling cautiously optimistic and ready to ride. (Transition 1: 6:30)

I didn’t know as I pedaled out, that it would be about 45 minutes until everything turned to garbage.

Indonesia is lush. There are legit monkeys just chilling on the side of the road like wild cats. I pumped my legs and tried to occupy my thoughts and take in the scenery. It’s in those moments, that a couple of things can happen: you can look down at your speedometer and be pleasantly surprised that you’re pulling 20 mph without really trying; and you can discover that the theme song to The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air is the exact beat that makes that cadence.

I had read the race description. Something about “a few gentle rolling hills.” I had watched the time-lapse video of the whole bike course. Looked pretty flat to me!

IT WAS NOT FLAT.

The first hill hit, and preceded three hours of switching back and forth between 4 mph as I stood up and pumped in the lowest gear, and 24 mph as I tried to make it back. I struggle a little with my feet on the bike, I have to remind myself to stay off of them and wiggle my toes and watch my form so I don’t end up with knives stabbing through the balls. This amount of standing up? There’s no terrain around here that I could have used to prepare for that. But whatever. We finished a loop out of a forested road, and hit a town. There were Indonesian flags everywhere, most buildings and houses had one planted. I don’t know how much of that is set-dressing for the race, but the KIDS.

The kids, were not.

They stood outside of houses and tiny village storefronts watching and cheering. This parade of 2,000 insane people on bicycles was the most exciting Sunday morning show, and they cheered everyone who passed. I made it my mission to be a one-woman good-sport committee and gave every single group a “Good morning!!!! Hiiiii!” Some of them yelled back, “Winner!” and it was pretty outstanding. Eventually, the tiny villages in the trees thinned out, revealing violent red clay hillscapes, and the sun started to really beat.

From the course preview video -- even watching again, I don’t know how they managed to make the hills disappear, but they did. And that bridge? The “guard rail” was just the two pipes and then a 50-foot drop. Not cozy.

By the bridge, enough time had passed to thin the herd, and I suddenly found myself in Indonesia, about 25 miles from anyone I knew, and as race rules dictate (YOU WILL BE GIVEN A RED CARD DQ IF YOU ARE CAUGHT USING A PHONE OR ELECTRONIC DEVICE) without a phone.

Fun.

I pumped on, and tried to stay positive. The course wasn’t closed, it was on roads shared as the rest of the island’s life went on, and as I started to think about pulling off to stand up for a second and swap my water bottles around, a scooter passed. The man driving it slowed as he passed me and took a hard look. I watched, because as much as Japan doesn’t require you to have street smarts, I’ve lived places, okay. He continued up the road a hundred yards and turned around, riding past again.

I didn’t stop.

Another scooter revved up from behind me. This one had friends. He pulled ahead of me, while one pulled beside and another, stayed behind. They were teenagers, and started talking to me, motioning me to pull over.

“No. I’m fine. I’m riding. No.”

Sometime after the water stop that told me they were out of water after I had already dumped my hot water out to switch, a truck rolled by. The man leaned out the window and said,

“I love you.”

I don’t think he meant that in a positive and nurturing way that respects my agency as a human being.

All I wanted was to stop and spend 45 seconds getting my fuel situated. The second my speed dipped, there would be a scooter or two, appearing out of nowhere, making very sure I wasn’t going to stop for all of the Gatorade in China. About the time the man drove by making kissy noises, and I’d spent a good three hours calculating how long it would take me to get stuffed in the back of a truck on a course where the only chip mats are at 20k and 70k and it would be a really long time before anyone missed me, I started to sob hysterically.

(Let’s take a moment of brightness to know that as awful of a time I was having, Ryan and Frankie were okay waiting for me. Phew.)

Now. There were medic vans and mechanic vans on the course, I did see them periodically. But by the time I was rolling through 40 miles, I was in such a state from dealing with harassment from almost every vehicle that passed, I started to really lose it.

“DON’T TALK TO ME. DON’T LOOK AT ME. LEAVE ME ALONE.”

It’s kind of hard to ride your bike when you’re scream crying.

Eventually, I rolled though 52 miles, and another biker spun up past me. “There’s 30 minutes to cutoff! Keep going, you’ll make it.” At this point, I really didn’t even care. I was sobbing, and worried I wouldn’t be able to stop if Frankie was at the transition point. I think I rode past Ryan and Frankie at the end of the bike, and was completely relieved I wouldn’t have to talk to them right then. (Bike 56 miles/4:39:12)

This smile is fake.

I racked my bike, probably still yelling “BAN MEN,” and sat down at transition and really cried. I cried because I was slow enough that I’d been an easy target. I cried that 75% of the competitors probably had a LOVELY time on the course and in the world in general and would never know how awful it feels to be prey, and I cried because what a burden that is, what an unequal athletic playing field that is and BAN MEN.

And then I put on my running shoes and tried to find the run out. No signs. Who cares at this point, right? (Transition 2: 6:23)

I started to run. I was scared I was going to have to go out and subject myself to more unwanted attention, but the run course was protected, in some kind of weird golf course or something. The sun dipped behind clouds and I set the first goal to getting to where I thought the spectators might be. I was still entirely on edge, and when I heard a male voice behind me, I whipped around with a LOOK. He paused.

“I don’t mean to be rude, but um, is this your first lap or your second?”

I relaxed, a little. “First. THOSE HILLS.”

“I know! Okay, thanks! Have a good run.”

He jogged on, and I felt the first drop. And then the second. And then, dear reader, I found out what an Indonesian monsoon feels like. For the next hour, the skies opened.

The surface of the lake was a blur as raindrops bounced six inches off the surface. The trail filled with water, and then flooded. Eventually, it was ankle deep. My shoes started to rub blisters. I couldn’t see in front of me. Aid stations ducked under tarps as the wind whipped.

And I knew it was over.

I passed the halfway on the run, and a restaurant. Ryan and Frankie, who I was totally worried about in all of the rain, were tucked inside having lunch. I stood outside dripping, gave Ryan the short version of the awful day, and said I was checking out. I could have propelled myself the last 10k without the wet blisters. Without a time cutoff, I could have technically finished. As I neared the lap switch, the guy in charge said,

“You’ve missed it.” (Time spent running: 1:44:28)

vimeo

You know what happens when you don’t make the last time cutoff in a monsoon? They withhold the giveaway towels because they say “Finisher” on them.

It’s fine.

I stood in the middle of the flooded field while those who’d had a much better day got their medals, and filed a report. Who knows if anyone got it, but now there’s a handy link to send to HQ, right? Ultimately, this race location is not suited for female athletes. I was wearing the same thing as everyone else. I’m OLD. I was still harassed for five hours. And I DNFed, my first one ever.

And I’ve signed up for another one in December.

#ironman #triathlon #try club #swimming #running #bicycles #indonesia #bintan

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