#osfryd kettleblack
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
ladystoneboobs · 9 months ago
Text
obviously yes, the only hypothetical chance for a truly faithful asoiaf adaptation would be animated, but there is at least one scenario where live-action could achieve something animated asoiaf media could not. see, in my fantasy of a fuller, faithful live action adaptation, all 3 kettleblack knights would be played by the same actor using a fake beard, fake mustache, and fake facial scars as needed, which would feel different to one voice actor doing all 3 as that kind of multi-casting is common enough in cartoons. and i don't even mean using the parent trap/buffay sisters on friends-style camera trickery for one actor playing twins, i mean just never having more than one kettleblack in a scene at the same time as one small deviation from the text. eventually the audience starts to wonder if there's even more than 1 guy in-universe either or if oz kettleblack is not only doubling his pay by accepting coin from both cersei and tyrion but actually sextupling it by getting paid triple from both lannisters just for one dude's incompetentcy. then when cersei confesses to the high sparrow that she bedded all 3 it could be due to her own confusion over which was which making her unable to tell who had sex with her when he had fake scars and remains of a fake beard once after a quick switch. and we the audience would know it really is best to name all 3 bc it is one guy answering to osfryd, osmund, and osney so that it's impossible to know which first name (if any) is the true name.
286 notes · View notes
studyofasoiaf · 4 months ago
Text
Names used in the Crownlands
(according to books; names of characters from the houses in the Crownlands)
- next to the names are either houses which have a character/s with that name or culture of the character/s with that name
Female
Alarra (Massey)
Alysanne (Targaryen)
Alyssa (Targaryen, Velaryon)
Annara (Farring)
Bethany (Rosby)
Cassella (Staunton)
Elinda (Massey)
Elinor (Massey)
Ermesande (Hayford)
Falena (Stokeworth)
Falyse (Stokeworth)
Hazel (Harte)
Jeyne (Kingslander)
Jonquil (Darke)
Larissa (Velaryon)
Lianna (Velaryon)
Lily (Kingslander)
Lollys (Stokeworth)
Lyra (Hayford)
Maia (Stokeworth)
Meredyth (Darklyn)
Priscella (Hogg)
Prudence (Celtigar)
Prunella (Celtigar)
Rosey (Kingslander)
Samantha (Stokeworth)
Tanda (Stokeworth)
Willow (Kingslander)
Ysabel (Staunton)
Male
Addam (Velaryon)
Adrian (Thorne)
Aethan (Velaryon)
Albin (Massey)
Alliser (Thorne)
Alton (Celtigar)
Alyn (Stokeworth, Velaryon)
Ardrian (Celtigar)
Arryk (Cargyll)
Arthor (Celtigar)
Aurane (Kingslander)
Balon (Byrch)
Balman (Byrch)
Bartimos (Celtigar)
Bennard (Brune)
Bernarr (Brune)
Bryen (Farring)
Boros (Blount)
Clarence (Cargyll, Crabb)
Clement (Celtigar, Crabb)
Corlys (Velaryon)
Corwyn (Velaryon)
Danos (Slynt)
Davos (Darklyn)
Denys (Darklyn, Harte)
Dick (Crabb, Folland)
Dontos (Hollard)
Duncan (Targaryen)
Duram (Bar Emmon)
Edwell (Celtigar)
Erryk (Cargyll)
Eustance (Brune)
Gilbert (Farring)
Godry (Farring)
Gormon (Massey)
Guncer (Sunglass)
Gunthor (Darklyn)
Gwayne (Gaunt)
Gyles (Rosby)
Harrold (Darke, Langward)
Harys (Hogg)
Herman (Rollingford)
Howard (Pyle)
Hubard (Rambton)
Humfrey (Kingslander)
Jacelyn (Bywater)
Jack (Crabb)
Janos (Slynt)
Jaremy (Rykker)
Jarmar (Buckwell)
Joffrey (Staunton, Velaryon)
Jon (Hogg, Hollard, Rosby)
Jorgen (Velaryon)
Jothos (Slynt)
Josua (Massey)
Justin (Massey)
Lothor (Brune, Mallery)
Lucifer (Hardy, Massey)
Lucos (Chyttering)
Luthor (Largent)
Malentine (Velaryon)
Maldon (Massey)
Manly (Stokeworth)
Marston (Kingslander)
Monford (Velaryon)
Morros (Slynt)
Mortimer (Boggs)
Monterys (Velaryon)
Osfryd (Kettleblack)
Osney (Kettleblack)
Osmund (Kettleblack)
Oswell (Kettleblack)
Perkin (Follard)
Qarlton (Chelsted)
Rayford (Rosby)
Raymund (Mallery)
Renfred (Rykker)
Rennifer (Crabb)
Rickard (Thorne)
Robert (Darklyn)
Robin (Darklyn, Hollard, Massey)
Roger (Hogg)
Rolland (Darklyn)
Rupert (Crabb)
Samwell (Stokeworth)
Sefton (Staunton)
Simon (Staunton)
Steffon (Darklyn, Hollard)
Symon (Hollard)
Symond (Staunton)
Togarion (Bar Emmon)
Triston (Massey)
Victor (Velaryon)
Ulf (Kinglander)
82 notes · View notes
francy-sketches · 2 years ago
Text
What does osfryd kettleblack even do. Like what is his purpose why is he there
42 notes · View notes
kingslayerstew · 2 years ago
Text
still not over 'osmund'. ""OSMUND""? like you mean to tell me. osmund kettleblack is a made up name. the three brothers are not actually named osmund osfryd and osney. and it never once ocurred to me that that would be the case? that the guy whose best improv knight name was "ser robert strong" would come up with the name kettleblack? and it was straight up said in the text? in their first mention???
Tumblr media
they were taking the piss bro you can not be serious.......
28 notes · View notes
greenbloods · 1 year ago
Note
not only can i tell the kettleblacks apart i know its osfryd not osfrey!!!! fake fan 🫵
no please IM NOT A FAKE FANNN I SWEAR. I KNOW WHO SER ROLLAND DARKLYN IS
Tumblr media
8 notes · View notes
isefyres-archive · 2 years ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
NEW A SONG ERA MUSES ADDED:
Taena Of Myr, also known as Taena Merryweather, is the Myrish wife of Lord Orton Merryweather, and is the Lady of Longtable. They have one child, Russell. Companion and friend of Queen Cersei Lannister.
Ser Osney Kettleblack is the youngest of the Kettleblack brothers. He is the son of Oswell Kettleblack and he has two brothers, Ser Osmund and Osfryd Kettleblack, a sworn sword of Queen Cersei and sometimes his lover, he was accused of being Queen Margaery's lover and imprisoned in the Keep.
Lady Myranda Royce called Randa, is the daughter of Lord Nestor Royce, the High Steward of the Vale. he is good friends with Mya Stone, one of her father's retainers. In the abscence of her father, Myranda is the acting Lady of the Gates of the Moon in the Vale.
Lady Delena Florent. the mother of Edric Storm and niece to Lord Alester Florent. She is married to Ser Hosman Norcross and has two children by him, Alester and Renly. She was one of Robert Baratheon's lovers During the wedding of Lord Stannis Lady Selyse Florent, King Robert I Baratheon carried Delena, who was one of Selyse's bedmaids, upstairs to the bedroom of Lord Stannis. This coupling eventually led to the birth of Edric Storm. Because Delena had been a maiden of noble birth when Robert slept with her, he had to acknowledge the child as his bastard.
Prince Lysandro Orthys of Lys. One of the ruling princes of Lys and part of House Orthys. They trace their bloodline directly to Old Valyria and they are bankers and masters of coin. Lysandro is a supporter of the Golden Company and was persuaded by Jon Connington to support Young Griff/Aegon in his quest for the Throne. He offered his sister Narcyssa as a lover for Aegon, wanting the prestige of the dragon blood.
Princess Narcyssa Orthys of Lys. Master of Whispers and a Priestess of the Lysani Gods. She was offered by her brother as a bedwarmer for Aegon Targaryen and is part of the emboy travelling to Westeros. She is tasked to find a way to get the dragon blood into her family in order to be able to bond with dragons.
Lady Khorina Rogere. Noblewoman of House Rogere, once a great house of Lys but fallen into grace after years. Khorina owns a pleasure house for the Elite and one of her girls, Doreah was send to Prince Viserys as his lover and handmaiden of Daenerys. Khorina supports Queen Daenerys for the Throne.
Lady Reina Horpe. Daughter of Richard Horpe, Reina is the heir of her father and currently remains at the Stormlands. She is at Griffin's Roost when Jon Connington takes seige of the castle. She is a vocal supporter of her father's choice to back King Stannis and thus, she remains a "guest" under supervision.
Lord Rolland Storm known as the Bastard of Nightsong, is a knight of House Caron. He is the bastard son of the late Lord Bryen Caron of Nightsong and the half-brother of Lord Bryce Caron. He worships the Warrior, an aspect of the Faith of the Seven, with a faith as fierce as he is. After the death of Lord Bryce at the Blackwater, Rolland disputes the title of Lord of Nightsong.
Lady Guinevere Dayne, the younger sister of Ser Gerold Dayne, nicknamed Nightstar is part of the Dayne's of High Hermitage. She travels to pledge to Princess Arianne to forgive her brother, although she does not think he was the one who killed Ser Arys. Guinevere has lilac eyes and like all the Dayne's of High Hermitage, she has two colored hair. Black with white streaks.
Ser Baynard Norcross is a knight of House Norcross at Highgarden. he travels to King's Landing as part of Lady Margaery's emboy and is one of her knights. Bayard is named by Taena of Myr as being among the group of young knights who give their attentions to Queen Margaery Tyrell. He is eventually fred and send to Highgarden.
Lady Seline Florent. Bastard sister of Queen Selyse, she was legitimized by her father and made a Lady of the House. She attends to Lady Melisandre and travels to the North with King Stannis. Seline is known for having a strange hair, naturally shaded a dark violet. Many think it's an omen.
Lady Hestyna Flint of the First Flints. Sister of Donnel Flint, Hestyna is known for her magical greenseer qualities, she self proclaimed herself a priestess of the Old Gods and is known to give magical favors in exchange of coin or favor to those in the North. Hestyna is also a healer.
Cletus Yronwood is a knight of House Yronwood, the son and heir of Lord Anders Yronwood of Yronwood. Cletus is one of Prince Quentyn Martell's closest friends. Cletus is among Prince Quentyn Martell's traveling companions on his mission to meet with Daenerys Targaryen in the Free Cities.
4 notes · View notes
wpmorse · 4 years ago
Photo
Tumblr media
A Clash of Kings - Hostage
"Would you like to see her? I thought you might." Cersei crossed the room and threw open the heavy oaken door. "Bring in my brother's whore.
"A Clash of Kings Chapter 55 - Tyrion
Cersei has captured Alayaya, assuming she is Tyrion's mistress, and holds her hostage.
This is a scene that was down there with the death of Lady on my list of scenes I didn't want to draw. Regrettably, the rest of the chapter consisted of  either Tyrion and Cersei talking or something R-rated between Tyrion and Shae. 
On a side note, I'm pretty sure the Kettleblacks aren't twins, even though I seem to have drawn them as such.
23 notes · View notes
thequeenofwines · 5 years ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
      Cersei & Kettleblack brothers
   Cersei used seduction to achieve her goals in the dangerous world of Palace intrigue — and the Kettleblack brothers didn't mind being seduced.
33 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
1 note · View note
spammreviews · 2 years ago
Text
C-:
This is for characters who serve their purpose within the story, and that is it. Many of these characters only appear in a few chapters, or they don’t appear at all and are only mentioned.
350., 351., and 352. Osmund, Osfryd, and Osney Kettleblack (only Osmund is pictured)-
I regularly forget which Kettleblack is which. 
Osmund is a member of the Kingsguard, and he seems like a bit of a douchey frat boy. 
Osfryd is an introverted jerk
Osney is the one Cersei hires to say he diddled Margaery. He’s basically just his older brother, but a little less of a douche and a little more pathetic.
Anyway, while I love athe chapters with these three in them, it’s never because of them. Like many others this low on this list, these characters feel very unoriginal, having the same traits as many others. This is fine because they don’t need to be anything more. Them being basic assholes is fine because that’s what the story needs them to be.
Also, are their names a reference to the whole “Pot calling the kettle black” saying?
349. Devon Seaworth, the son of Davos (Not Pictured)-
My nickname in high school was Devon because I just kind of stood around and most people forgot about me.
Him having a crush on Melisandre is…interesting, I guess? Lots of kids have crushes, however.
348. Daeron II- 
Daeron seems to be a fairly boring Richard the Lionheart ripoff, but to be fair, we are given very little information about him.
347. Doran- 
What I appreciate about Doran is that he is the ultimate single child. Yeah, he had two younger siblings, but he was around ten when they were born.
What annoys me about Doran is that he is annoying. He carries himself with a “holier than thou” attitude, acting like he’s the wisest person on earth, but he’s a fucking idiot.
Now, perhaps this is intentional. When we first see Doran, he’s sitting in his wheelchair, waxing poetic about life and using fancy, aristocratic words. It is possible that George is using our assumptions against us, showing us a character who uses intellectual language but is actually very dumb.
After all, Doran has accomplished nothing. In fact, he’s failed. The blood red oranges falling off the tree because they weren’t picked is an obvious metaphor for this.
In that case, good job George, you made a good point about assumptions. However, it still annoys me. It just does. That scene in the Princess in the Tower where he’s like “Actually, I have all of these secret plans all along” just pisses me off because it’s such a dick move of him. Yeah, Arianne was stupid to do what she did, but she did it because you didn’t tell her anything.
“Oh, but she’s reckless, what if she screws up the plans.” Well, it appears that she also screwed up the plans while doing nothing. In fact, if Doran had just communicated with her, then she wouldn't have tried to crown Myrcella.
Doran could have also tried to actually communicate with the Sand Snakes instead of imprisoning them, seeing as many of them are actual adults. The Sand Snakes aren’t the most intelligent of adults, but he could have easily talked them down because he does do that in Dance. It is weird how little ramifications imprisoning the Sand Snakes has. Also, it’s weird how Feast spends much of the first chapter in Dorne introducing the Sand Snakes, only for them to never appear again in Feast. I guess that’s a result of Feast and Dance originally being the same book.
Perhaps people just think that Doran is smart because he acts all quiet, but in reality, he’s almost as dumb as Cersei.
Now, obviously, I get that characters are supposed to have flaws, that’s what makes them interesting. However, it still annoys me. Doran is not a badly written character, he is a well written character who pushes my buttons because that exact kind of person pushes my buttons.
Sure, he’s not the most villainous character. In fact, he seems rather noble. However, intellectual people who act smart but are really stupid really get under my skin. 
It doesn’t help that Doran is such a chill and constrained person, and it’s hard to make that kind of character interesting. I think that George realized this, which is why he added that passage where Doran monologues about how Elia and Oberyn are dead now. The problem is, this is really the only time we see him mourne or show any emotion beyond annoyance and pain, and he’s barely mourning. He’s just saying “my siblings are dead”, and we assume that is making him sad. 
That’s another problem with Doran, he’s way too stoic. We never see him act like a father to Arianne, they seem more like business colleagues than anything. I suppose that might be George’s intention, and if so…alright. I guess the idea is that Doran’s emotional distance is the reason why Arianne is so emotionally volatile. Her crowning Myrcella is basically a big plea for attention, like a child drawing on the walls. That’s kind of interesting, I suppose. You could say that Arianne just wants Doran to pat her on the back and say “Good job, daughter”, and that’s the central driving force of the conflict. 
However…it’s a bit unclear if this anything will ever be made of this, or if any of that was George’s intention.
Overall, Doran is a rather difficult character to rank, simply because of how much mystery shrouds him. If you think that a lot of my arguments for Doran are a bit of a reach, then yeah. I don’t know why I dislike Doran, and I’m trying to figure it out. At the end of the day, does it really matter? So far, Doran has only appeared in 6 chapters. 
In Areo’s ADWD chapter, Doran makes a pretty great point about how war is meaningless and just ends up leading to innocent deaths, and this seems to explain his actions. However, it’s clear he doesn’t one hundred percent believe this, because he actively tells Arianne that he does want vengeance, and Dourne siding with Young Griff will lead to war. It seems that Doran isn’t against war, he’s against a war which Dourne can’t win.
Doran also talks about how he has the grass which hid the viper, and how he and Oberyn worked together to accomplish stuff, but we don’t know what they accomplished, unless you believe the theory that Doran did send Oberyn to King’s Landing. 
It does seem like George wants us to see Doran as this benevolent wide man, as he’s often communicating with people who are reckless and full of bad judgment, like the Sand Snakes. Plus, even though Doran makes many bad decisions, the choice to keep Dorne out of the War of the Five Kings was a great decision. However, the whole Dorne situation is just…weird. If Winds is ever released, maybe all of the pieces will click together and form something coherent. For now, the whole situation is a confusing mess.
I do think it is kind of funny how Doran basically has to act as a babysitter to a whole treasure trove of women since there are 15 or so sand snakes with no father.
Brief random aside, there’s a problem I have, not with Doran, but with Dourne. One of the most distinguishing aspects of Dourne is the way it treats gender and sexuality, as it appears to be egalitarian. However, we never clearly get to see exactly what gender expectations are in Dorne. 
What do the Dournish see as masculine or feminine? Or, does Dournish culture not distinguish between gender? The reason why I ask this is because Dourne seems to still very much be wrapped up in these ideas of feudalism and chivalry. They have knights, but women can’t be knights, even though we see women warriors.
Dorne worships the Faith of the Seven, a religion very firmly based on gender roles, but does their worship differ from the rest of Westeros? 
ASOIAF explores cultures with different views on gender much better with the Wildlings, where we see that women have a much different role in society, but they’re still very much so oppressed. It appears to be a bit similar with those who live on Bear Island.
What’s important is culture. It is very clear that the culture of Dourne is different from the culture of the rest of Westeros, but it doesn’t go far beyond gender and sexuality. When the only Dornish guy we know is Oberyn in ASOS, it’s fine, but in Feast, it’s a major issue.
How are Arianne and Doran influenced by the ideals of their culture? Cultural ideas play a huge part in the series.
Ned’s idea of honor leads him to tell Cersei he knows, dooming him in the process.
The idea of guest rights makes the Red Wedding such a horror in the eyes of the populace.
Balon doesn’t want Theon to inherit the throne because he sees Theon as being too culturally different, and so Theon does the most Ironborn thing possible, leading this bold raid for glory.
Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
This never really happens with Dourne, and that wouldn’t be a problem with many other series, but as I said previously, ASOIAF is a sociological story.
346. Hizdarh Loraq- 
*shrug emoji* My opinions on Danny’s parts of Dance ain’t new. There are defenses to be made about them, and they have lots of bright spots, but in between them is a whole lot of grey. Hizdarh is an example of this. His personality is that he’s polite and charming and has very Ghiscari mannerisms and fashion sensibilities. That’s kind of boring.
However, I will admit that he sticks out from the pack, as he’s a slaver who is actually fairly charming and intelligent. As such, he presents a bit of an actual threat.
345. Othell Yarwyck- 
Othell has no personality.
However, there is one good Othell Yarwick moment. In Jon VII, ADWD, Bowen Marsh, Septon Cellador, and Othell Yarwick approach Jon because they’re mad about something he’s done. Jon offers them food, and Bowen says they’ve already eaten. This is very clearly a power play, Bowen refusing Jon’s offer of hospitality. However, Othell does not understand what’s going on and says, “Yeah, I’ll have some food.”
Other than this moment, there is nothing noteworthy about Othell Yarwick. He’s still better believable, and I can take him seriously, so he does serve Jon’s story in Dance well. The villains of Jon’s chapters being these down-to-earth people makes his arc much better than if they were the scum of the earth. It helps that the Night’s Watch is an extraordinarily flawed organization which still has positive attributes, just as the Wildlings are a group of people with flawed beliefs and desires who we can still see as being human. While Jon’s mission to heal the rift between the Free Folk and the denizens of Westeros may be impossible, it doesn’t seem impossible. If the situation at the Wall was an impossible clusterfuck built out of shallow characters and weird stereotypes, then it would not be enjoyable.
As abhorrent as Othell and Bowen’s racism is, it’s not only believable, one can compare it to what’s occurred in the real world.
344. Ellaria Sand- 
When we first see Ellaria in ASOS, she isn’t much of a character, nor does she really serve any purpose other than showing how Oberyn is cool and Dornish culture is unique.
In Dance, she seems kind of wise, and it also seems like she did really love Oberyn, and she’s processing her grief in her own way.
So…I guess she’s a character?
342. Maekar Targaryen I-
Maekar is one of the more forgettable kings, as he really doesn’t have a deal. He’s tough and honorable, and that’s about it. We have 30 or so other characters who also fit that description.
341. Dareon- 
I was really disappointed with the way Dareon’s character ended. He became an asshole and then he got killed by Arya, and that was that. Like, before then, he seemed kinda fun. Sure, he was cowardly and a bit vain, but not in an extreme way. Then, it turns out that he’s a really shitty dude, and he just ends up getting killed off with little fanfare. In the end, it feels like the only point of his character was to keep Sam in Braavos for a little longer and show that Arya still has Northern values. He’s reduced to a plot convenience and a signifier for a character he’s not connected to. 
340. Lynesse Hightower-
Lynesse Hightower was Jorah’s former wife. The only reason she is not in D is because her story is kind of interesting with how insane it is, as she went from the daughter of an Oldtown lord to a concubine of a merchant in Lys, half a world away. Other than that, she’s not really a character. 
There is a certain tragedy to her story. The beginning  seems straight out of a fairy tale, as she falls in love with this handsome stranger from far away and they get to marry. Of course, happily ever after is not so happy. It is funny how many of the older characters have already gone through these classic story arcs, whether they be Robert or Ned or Barristan. However, in the wake of these arcs, their lives now feel meaningless and empty.
339. Bloodbeard (not picutured)-
Bloodbeard is a Sellsword in Slaver’s Bay. He has the same character traits as half of the other minor characters there. However, George gave the name “Bloodbeard” to a minor character in his gritty dark fantasy series, so there’s that. I appreciate how Song can just be silly sometimes.
338. Viserys I Targaryen- 
I’m talking about the book version, not the TV show version of Viserys I Targaryen. One can definitely find an interesting character within the book version, but it’s muddled and blurred by all the conflicting testimonies and the consistent distance we have from the real him.
They actually made him an interesting and complex character in the show by taking the groundwork laid by Fire and Blood and expanding on it. In the book, Viserys I’s connection to his brother is spoken of, and his guilt at his wife’s passing is assumed, but we never see any of it. 
I do quite appreciate Fire and Blood for the way it shows the traps of biases when discussing history, but its entire conceit is not one which is good for character working.
Most of the character’s from Fire and Blood who are ranked high got there simply because I think they’re fun.
There is one thing I especially like about Fire and Blood. It shows how it’s not enough for a king to be a good person. Viserys I was a good person. It’s not even enough to be a good person and a good king. Jaehaerys I was a good person and a good king, and sure, the realm prospered during his lifetime, but you could still say that his actions planted the seeds for The Dance, and he was also a shitty husband and father.
Even when monarchy is working, it’s not working. It’s impossible for the system to work properly, even when there are “good people” in it. And, of course, it’s shown how good people often have a harder time (just look at how Ned suffered from his niceness while the Lannisters benefited from their not-niceness). Even when a nice person is given power, it’s not always enough. 
That’s partially because people can’t be sorted into boxes as simple as “good and evil”. Jaehaerys was a complex person who actively wanted to do his duty, but he was also kind of sexist. One could even technically argue that all Targaryen kings were inherently evil for refusing to get rid of a system that benefited them. I’m not saying that’s true, I’m just saying one could argue it.
Basically, what I’m saying is that this whole franchise shows how stupid monarchies are very well. 
The sword chair is funny in the way it functions the same literally and metaphorically. It metaphorically destroys all who sit on it, and it also literally kills multiple owners.
Anyways, Viserys I is a character I don’t really care much for, but he serves his purpose just fine.
337. Aenys I- 
Aenys I tried. I feel like he had potential to be a really beautifully tragic character, but George sort of messed up by taking him too far. No human person would ever send a letter to rebels just telling them to stop. That’s not a thing you do. But, whatever.
We do see that his faults come from the loss of his mom when he was young, so that is some bit of character building.
However, we don’t get to see any other sides of him. We just keep getting the same two things thrown at us about him, he was weak, and he was stupid. But, like, how was he as a parent? As a husband? As a brother to Maegor?
336. Aegon II- 
Aegon II’s most noteworthy aspect was being a not nice guy. Despite this, he didn't seem to be evil, just a flavor of bad which is realistic, yet boring.  Everyone gives him way too much credit for having one badass line.
335. Lommy Greenhands (not pictured)-
I found Lommy Greenhand’s asshole nature to be annoying, but not extremely annoying. He’s your classic bully character, with nothing added on to make him interesting. That’s fine.
334. Weese- 
Oh, Weese. He’s a sucky guy who sucks.  I love the Arya chapters in Clash, but gosh darn it if they aren’t packed to the brim with the same sort of two- dimensional antagonists. To be fair, Weese having any other dimensions would kind of take away the impact of his character on the story, as Arya starts out only wanting the deaths of the lowest of the low. Arya also needs to be surrounded by constant misery in order for her continued optimism and perseverance to truly work. 
However, that doesn’t mean I like Weese. 
Plus, you can make two dimensional villains a bit more fun by making them unique, which I’ll discuss later, and the only thing which makes Weese stick out from every other villain is that he has a dog.
333. Baelor the Blessed-
Baelor the Blessed is very one note character. I guess that note is kind of interesting, but not super interesting. Plus, he’s weird in an un-charming way, which I don’t like. If you’re crazy, then you should be crazy in a fun and exciting way. Baelor’s is the most boring kind of weirdo, a religious weirdo.
332. Brandon Stark (the older and dead one, Ned’s brother)-
The world would have been a much better place if Brandon Stark had killed Littlefinger and/or been nicer to him. I don’t even know why he’s on this list at all, as he’s barely a character. We know that he was a very classic northman who had lots of sex and his biggest fault was that he was too reckless and brave.
Whatever. His death is fucked-up, wich is fun.
331. Mellario- 
Mellario was Doran’s wife. Her marriage to Doran is one of the more interesting parts of his character. However, he never really seems to dwell on her, and Arianne and Quentyn rarely think about the fact their Mom just left them. That seems like that would be pretty important to how they grew up.
330. Jon Arryn- 
Jon Arryn is not really a character because he is dead.
However, here is an interesting theory about Jon Arryn: he’s stupid. He had Littlefinger, Pycelle, and Varys on the high council for two decades and didn’t give them the boot or the sack. At least Ned gets a break because he was new to the game and thrust into a shitty situation. Jon Arryn had two decades to learn the ins and outs of King's Landing.
329. Strong Belwas- 
Strong Belwas definitely has a lot of personality, but it’s such a basic personality, and he comes off as kinda cartoony. Him eating poison and surviving is funny, I guess, assuming that the locusts were actually poisoned.
328. Mord (not pictured)-
Whatever. Copy and paste whatever I’ve said about half of the characters so far and paste it onto Mord. He’s kind of fun, but he just feels like a bunch of some of the most tired tropes jammed together. However, he appears in three chapters, so it’s fine.
327. Biter- 
Biter’s name is biter and he bites things. Absolutely genius, George.
326. Cletus Ironwood:
Cletus is just a guy. His purpose within the story is as Quentyn’s friend, and he is the very definition of a friend. His final words are him telling Quentyn to get laid.
325. Pretty Mavis and Dick Straw (not pictured)
Pretty Mavis and Dick Straw are two of the Sellswords active in Mereen. They feel like unfunny parodies of Brienne and Jaime.
324. Rickon- 
Aaaaaaaahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawyahwwwwawwww. Oh, sorry, that was just me yawning. It’s hard to make a character out of someone so young. However, Maggie Simpson is a baby with a clear personality. I suppose it’s harder since Song is more realistic, but my point is that you can make someone so young interesting. And Rickon has the potential to be interesting. He’s too young to understand any of the insane traumatic stuff he’s going through, and he’s currently in Skagos (or so we are told) with superpowers he can’t control. If Winds ever comes out, I might bump Rickon up. However, none of the books we have suggest that George is in anyways interested in developing this character, and I can’t blame him. 
Also, Rickon’s biggest character trait is that he is feral, and that means he complains and whines a lot. Now, that is what small children do. However, that is kind of annoying. Is it purposefully annoying? Yes. Definitely. It’s still annoying.
323. Jorah Mormont- 
Stop perving over a teenager, you perv!
Jorah does have a good deal of complexity. He…uhh…
For some reason, Jorah just kinda bugs me. He’s too honorable, maybe. Plus, he’s pervy. Also, he just has a very bland personality and his motivations beyond being in love with Dany are kind of murky. Love is a boring motivation.
322. Yohn Royce-
There are a million characters just like Yohn Royce in this story: old, noble, and badass lords. It’s a fun character-type, but it gets tiring quickly. Bronze Yohn Royce has little to make him stand out from the others besides his cool suit of armor. He does play well off of Littlefinger, so I guess he serves his purpose well within the story. One again, he only appears in a few chapters.
321. Emmon Frey- 
In case you forget which Frey was which, Emmon is Genna Lannister’s loser husband. His sniveling nature is fun in the two chapters of Feast that he appears in, but I don’t think he would be entertaining in any other context. Him constantly waving the piece of paper granting him Riverrun and fretting about the siege is fun because it plays off Jaime’s anxiety well, and it’s fun to see how deep he is in his wife’s shadow. Genna is everything, Emmon is just Emmon, and he’s Emmonugh. 
A very brief aside, one thing I appreciate about the siege of Riverrun in A Feast For Crows is how it uses realism to tell an interesting story. The siege is portrayed as this boring, tedious affair where people stand outside of a castle for months on end. However, this frustration works well for Jaime’s arc and allows for some great moments. Overall, Song’s “realism” is less about being real for realism’s sake, and more so about placing the characters in situations we can relate to. Obviously, none of us have ever had to end a siege (at the very least, not in this life), but we can relate to having to negotiate amidst a stressful situation where everyone is being unhelpful. While seeing Jaime storm the castle and be badass would be fun, George’s option to take a more realistic aspect further endears us to his character, and it also forces Jaime to mature and use his mind. This allows him to parallel Sansa’s story, where she also has to be mature in frustrating situations, and it makes him stand out from Cersei, who seems to regress in maturity when placed in stressful situations. It’s clear that Jaime can not depend on his strength and these other traits which have fueled his ego for so long. This forces him to change. Many characters go through this, where they are placed in unique situations which strip them of their power. Many of our rich lordly characters are in situations where they are forced to live as peasants or they simply can’t depend on their wealth and status, and that often forces them to become more empathetic towards the poorer people, as well as forcing them to become smarter and more emotionally intelligent. 
If you want to take your character in an interesting direction, you put them in a position they’re unequipped to deal with, so they have to grow to overcome their challenges.
In Jaime’s chapters in Feast, he does have to do cruel things, like threatening to trebuchet a baby. However, this shows that he now has the maturity to deal with risky situations such as these. The Jaime we first saw in Thrones could not do that. His answer to everything seemed to be to stab stab the problem or push it out the window. 
All of this ties Jaime’s arc into the themes of gender within A Feast For Crows, as Jaime is emasculated through the loss of his sword hand, as well as the knowledge that Cersei is banging someone else. 
Here’s another citation, in Preston Jacob’s very good series of analysis videos, Brienne and the Squishers, he talks about how traditional masculinity is often symbolically represented by a sword and traditional femininity is represented by a shield. 
Jaime loses the sword of his masculinity. Similarly, Cersei slowly loses the shield of her femininity throughout the story, even though that does occur mostly towards the end.
Of course, you can also argue that Jaime also uses his masculinity as a shield and Cersei uses her femininity as a sword, which really goes to show that…
Shit this is supposed to be about Emmon Frey.
Tumblr media
_____________
I would like to say that this is not a ranking of the characters based on morals. This is based on how good I think they are as characters. This is obviously extraordinarily subjective, however, I enjoy ranking and sorting. 
There are three factors I generally considered for this ranking. 
The first is how well written I think the characters are. Do they have dimensions, do they serve their purpose within the story, do they stand out from the very large crowd of faces within this story, et cetera. This one is less important if they are a very minor character. 
The second is how fun I think they are. The point of some of these characters is to get a chuckle, and if they did that, then they succeed as characters.
The third is vibes. Sometimes, I just vibe with characters.
Art Credits to 
The_Mico
https://m.facebook.com/198918470118215/photos/a.232323176777744/465124813497578/?type=3
Amok https://awoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/File:Visenya.jpg
Riot Art Therite
https://riotarttherite.tumblr.com/
The Three Hares
Rae Lavergne
Weak Aside
https://www.tumblr.com/weakaside
Paolo Puggioni
Image of Nettles by Rlyeha https://www.deviantart.com/rlyeha/art/Nettles-885635180
Special Thanks to
A Wiki of Ice and Fire
https://awoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/Main_Page
and
A Search of Ice and Fire
___________
Without further ado, the list. This is a ranking of all characters from best to worst, with 398 being the worst and 1 being the best.
_____________________
F Tier:
398. Xaro Xhoan Daxos-
Xaro is like a weird homophobic stereotype. One could compare him to Varys, but Varys is a character and he has dimensions. There are moments where we are surprised by Varys. Varys has a boring room. Varys went out of his way to save Gendry. Varys has a fucked up backstory. Despite all of Varys’ silliness he never feels cartoony. He’s an actual capable and intelligent person who’s motivations are mysterious and intriguing. Et cetera, et cetera.
Meanwhile, Xaro Xhoan Daxos has no surprises. He’s just…ridiculously one noted, and that note teeters on the edge of being kind of homophobic with a few weird lines which I hope were not George’s intention.
All of this would be fine if he only had a few chapters, but he appears in two books. Two! 
Everything Xaro says and does is so basic. He’s got simple and un-unique strategies because of his simple and un-unique motivations. Half of his lines and actions feel the same. His purpose within not just the story, but within individual chapters and conversations, never changes. I’m getting really angry right now.
I get that we are supposed to hate Xaro, but the hatred I feel with him is not a fun hatred. I do not love to hate Xaro. I simply hate him. He annoys me. The way he talks is so fucking annoying, with this stupid eloquence wich makes simple sentences turn into paragraphs. It reminds me of papers I read in college. “I have crossed long leagues and stormy seas to help you once again.” “A pretty metal, but fickle as a woman. Gold, now…gold is sincere.” Shut the fuck up. He also talks about how hot Dany is every other second. I get the point that the traits of Dany which are valued are her appearance, so even someone who’s not attracted to women is going to act pervy, but it’s still annoying.
Xaro is also ridiculously condescending. It’s purposefully infuriating, but it’s so cartoony  and on the nose it’s not even a funny kind of infuriating. Perhaps he might go higher if he died a terrible death, but for now he’ll go here.
He also adds nothing to the story. He has two conversations with Dany in Dance. The first one lasts for pages, and it’s only purpose is to give us a bunch of information. The second one’s purpose is to piss Xaro off so he can declare war.
In conclusion, Xaro Xhoan Daxos is too ridiculous to be taken seriously, and too annoying to be taken comedically.
397. Yezzan zo Qaggaz- 
It’s really hard to tell apart one Ferengi-esque Ghiscari from another (I think the enslaved people aren’t Ghiscari, but I’m not sure). They’re all ugly, cruel, ridiculously decadent, and greedy. It’s bland, it’s repetitive, and it’s almost, dare I say…lazy. The world of Mereen feels so drab in comparison to the world of Westeros because everyone there basically just acts basically the same. At least with the Ferengi, we were introduced to sympathetic and complex ones, and we learned about the nuances of their society and all that jazz. The Ghiscari are not afforded that same privilege. The exception is Hizdar Zo Loraq, who will be discussed later. 
I’m obviously not saying that George should have introduced us to a nice, sympathetic slaver. Please do not misconstrue my meaning. I’m saying that George could have introduced us to a slaver who’s personality stands out, or a Ghiscari who wasn’t a slaver or something. You can make a character complex and interesting while still having them be completely irredeemable in every way. This is ASOIAF, after all, and this story has lots of characters who are atrocious people but who still have interesting internal psychologies. Hell, sometimes adding complexity or whatever to a character can make them more hateable, as we will later see. I know the Ghiscari suck, but there’s no slaver who provokes the same degree of anger in me that Joff or Ramsay does, and I’ll explain why later.
These are all evil, irredeemable human-shaped pieces of shit, but at least Joff and Ramsay are characters. Ramsay isn’t even that complex…he’s mostly just sadistic for no reason, but his sadistic cruelty is still interesting because he is a character with traits beyond “evil”.  He’s a specific kind of evil, and there’s a reason he’s that kind of evil, and that specific kind of evil comes in a variety of ways. Grazdan and Yezzan and Kraznys are just evil. 
Once again, I am not saying that George should have made a slaver sympathetic. I want to emphasize that. He could have, at the very least, given one of them an interesting quirk, like one of them is a big fan of card games or whatever and the other slavers are really annoyed because he always wants to play. I don’t know. I’m not a critically acclaimed writer of dozens of fantasy and sci fi novels.
Obviously, George making the slavers all greedy and decadent makes a clear point, but there are ways to portray greed and decadence interestingly, as we see elsewhere in this story. With the Ghiscari, George just ramps up the traits to extreme levels, making the slavers too cartoony to be seen as a realistic threat. I’m not against this series being a bit silly, but the slavers feel beyond parody, and this hurts his criticism of the systems of Slaver's Bay, as the story focuses less on how the system doesn’t work, and instead simply shows that the people who benefit from it are annoying and gross. Now, the story can focus on how a system is fundamentally flawed and also show how the people who benefit from it suck, because this story does do that, but not with Slaver’s Bay. 
It’s also definitely possible to show oppressive forces as being ridiculously stupid and annoying while still having them feel real. Outside of ASOIAF, Quentyn Tarantino does this very well with Django Unchained and Inglorious Bastards. Within ASOIAF, well…we’ll see.
In conclusion, the character of Yezzan is extremely lazy writing.
396. Grazdan Mo Eraz (not pictured)- 
It’s really hard to tell apart one Ferengi-esque Ghiscari from another.
Much has been written about how ASOIAF is not just a psychological story (meaning that the plot is driven by the character’s internal psychologies) but also a sociological story (meaning the plot is driven by the world around the characters). Dany’s story definitely succeeds on a psychological level as Dany’s character is well thought out. However, it only occasionally succeeds as a sociological story, in my opinion at least. 
This is because the society Dany interacts with in Storm and Dance doesn’t really feel like a society. We never see what daily life is like in Mereen, or see a diversity of thoughts and opinions within the citizens of Astapor. Everyone feels like a part of one big homogenous blob. A society is made up of individual people, with all of these individual people having their own psychologies. In a sense, sociological stories are psychological stories- but with the psychology of thousands or even millions of people. What is the internal psychology of Grazdan Mo Eraz? Why has his society made him think and act this way? The answer is, he has none. He’s just another bad guy. 
With much of the plot in Westeros, we see that these characters have ideologies which are a result of the world they're in, no matter how minor these characters are. For example, the two knights Brienne meets in her first chapter in Feast are clearly influenced by these ideals of knighthood and chivalry and gender, and these are very minor characters. Even the most displaceable of characters, such as Euron, are clearly influenced by their society's values.
We never get this with anyone in Slaver’s Bay.
395. Kraznys mo Nakloz-  
It’s really hard to tell apart one Ferengi-esque Ghiscari from another. These three slavers are equal in value to me, as they are extraordinarily similar characters, with their only differences being different versions of sucking. One is harsh, one is jolly, and one is mocking. These are very common types of assholes within ASOIAF. I get them mixed up in my mind all the time.
I have one more issue with the Wise Masters of Yunkai and the Good Masters of Astapor. George wrote a fat character who suffered extreme amounts of abuse and bullying because of his weight and has to learn to love himself. However, he also wrote a bunch of characters who are fat to show that they’re rich. This trope isn't even subverted in any way, like with Wyman Manderly. The Wise Masters are fat, and it seems like we’re supposed to be disgusted by the fact that they’re fat because it means they’re decadent and gross. With Wyman, his weight is cleverly used against us, as we assume he’s just a bit player who only cares about himself, but then it turns out that he’s an extreme badass who uses his obesity as a shield. Even with Illyrio, we get the idea that he is more than what he seems to be, and he also serves as a reference to the “jolly fat guy” trope from Shakespeare. However, with the wise masters, they’re just overweight. We are supposed to think it’s funny that Kraznys “has bigger breasts than Dany”. I suppose maybe it’s actually to show Dany’s immaturity, and that she’s negatively influenced by beauty standards, but that’s not something which is really explored. With Cersei, we get her trusting hot people who betray her and disliking “ugly” people who are actually trying to help her. 
That doesn’t seem to be a big part of Dany’s character. Kraznys is what he seems to be and nothing much more than that.
394.Doreah- 
She was not much of a character
And ohhh…she had no personality
And I got this crazy feeling
I’m gonna ah ah put her low
And oh she was so boring
I didn’t care when she died
And I got this crazy feeling
George didn’t care either
As Dany only thinks of her once afterwards
You may ask what’s her name
And I’ll whisper her name
I’ll whisper her name
And her name is D-O-R-E-A-H 
DOREAH! D-O-R-E-A-H
And oh, I’m gonna tell the world
She was Dany’s handmaiden
No, not Jiqui or Iqui
The only difference is that she was blonde
And the way she was described
Was very creepy
DOREAH! D-O-R-E-A-H!
Oh, what’s the point?
What’s the point of her?
Quentyn died for someone’s sins, but not mine.
392 and 393. Irri and Jiqui-
I have forgotten the existence of Irri and Jiqui. They are Dany’s Dothraki “friends”. I feel like George screwed up by making all of Dany’s friends (other than Missandei) uninteresting, and also making most of the Dothraki she encounters lacking in any depth. Jon has a large treasure trove of kooky characters for him to bounce off of. Some of these characters are wildlings, who are displayed as having a wide variety of character types. 
Meanwhile, there are two flavors of Dothraki we meet: fierce men and fragile women. This fill-in-the-blanks approach to character writing is super boring, sticking out extraordinarily from the rest of the series. I don’t care about Jhogo because he is the same as Aggo who is the same as Rakharo. I don’t care about Irri because she’s the same as Irri who is just a non-Lysene Doreah.
Irri and Jiqui are not characters. That requires character traits, which they lack.
391. Reznak Mo Reznak- 
Reznak Mo Reznak is just…too goofy. His whole evil manipulator schtick feels like something from a C-tier Disney movie, and there simply isn’t anything done to make him in any way interesting or memorable. And, with many of these other lower tier characters, one could argue that they work well as set dressing, but Reznak’s set is already dressed fine. We get the idea that Mereen is a pit of vipers, and we get that there are all these people giving Danny bad advice. He adds nothing but another voice, and as voices go, his is the most annoying.
390. Aegon IV- 
Aegon IV feels like an AI generated list of things you don’t want a medieval king to be.
389. Alliser Thorne- 
Purposefully asshole characters are old hat. Sure, Alliser Thorne was created in the 1990s, but uhhh…whatever. Alliser does feel a tad bit tropey, which makes him kind of annoying. He’s also not evil in a fun way, just a jerk. I also don’t like Rast, but I didn’t get an image of him, so I’d also put him here.
I suppose one could say that we need two dimensional jerks like this in this part of Jon’s story, and I suppose that is true. However…I still don’t like him.
I’ve seen a lot of war movies, and there are tough drill instructors who are just as dimensional as Alliser yet still manage to be more interesting. Just look at Heavy Metal Jacket.
Also, like what is Alliser’s deal? He has no motives beyond just hating everyone for no real reason.
388. Jaehaerys II- 
Jaehaerys II is easily the most boring Targ king. Maybe he had a personality, but I can’t say for certain.
11 notes · View notes
goodqueenaly · 8 years ago
Text
House Words Wednesdays: House Kettleblack
Welcome to House Words Wednesdays! Each week, I take a House without known canon or semi-canon words and present what I think could make sense as that House’s motto. You’re free to suggest more as well, if your favored House has not yet been suggested; take a look at this link to see what has already been suggested, and shoot me an ask through Tumblr if you have another House you’d like to see
House Kettleblack is a family of indeterminate, but probably very low, rank, probably from the Crownlands generally and King's Landing specifically. The A Song of Ice and Fire Campaign Guide states that the Kettleblacks are a "family of hedge knights and sellswords" with "no holdings in the Crownlands", whose members are "often found in the service of various lords". This seems as likely a background as any, though the main novels - probably for good reason - keep the Kettleblacks' origins murky. When Jaime remarks that he has never heard of Ser Osmund Kettleblack despite knowing of "every hedge knight, freerider, and upjumped squire of any skill" who has ever competed in a tourney, Ser Osmund is at best evasive: the eldest Kettleblack brother claims he served in the Disputed Lands and the Stepstones with a company called the Gallant Men, and was knighted on a battlefield by "Ser Robert ... Stone", though "he's dead now" (the ellipsis is there in text; Osmund is almost certainly George Glass-ing his knighthood). As fits a hedge knight family, though, the Kettleblacks at least boast a sigil: a black kettle on red, within a black orle.
The Kettleblacks are about as roguish a family as you get in ASOIAF, and time and again they've proven themselves utterly unscrupulous and utterly untrustworthy. Cersei begins meeting with the three Kettleblack brothers, Osmund, Osfryd, and Osney, during ACOK, hoping to use them to build her own sellsword force in contrast to Tyrion's; unbeknownst to Cersei, Tyrion has already bought all three as informants against the queen (especially after Osmund is named to the Kingsguard). What neither Lannister sibling knows, however, is that the Kettleblacks are really in the pocket of Petyr Baelish, who has retained the brothers' father, Oswell, as his servant, hoping to use the Kettleblack brothers as "three hidden daggers" against the Lannister regime. Fortunately for Littlefinger, Cersei is eager to use the brothers Kettleblack during her AFFC regency, to her own downfall. Her plan - first to have Osney Kettleblack bed Margaery and be sent to the Wall, where he might kill Jon Snow, then to have Osney falsely confess to sex with Margaery so that "the little queen" will be arrested - is fatally complicated by Cersei's directive to Osney to murder Tyrion's High Septon and her sleeping with the youngest Kettleblack himself; consequently, the scheme backfires in dramatic fashion when, under torture from the High Sparrow, Ser Osney confesses to sleeping with the widowed queen and killing the former Voice of the Seven. All three Kettleblack brothers are imprisoned as of the end of ADWD, though their ultimate fates remain unknown. ("Alayne I" of TWOW offered a tantalizing hint - old Oswell showing up on a lathered horse to meet with Littlefinger - though whether he brought news of his son's arrests, their trials, or Cersei's likely triumph in her own trial is unknown.)
Given that their very surname is a joke - the old "pot calling the kettle black", probably in reference to (at least) Cersei using Osney to charge/frame Margaery for the very thing Cersei herself was doing for years as queen, sleeping with a Kingsguard knight - I would think the Kettleblack words have to be a joke too. Thus, the words I chose for our dear Kettleblacks are So Forged, Always Firm. A good kettle would have to be firm to have any worth, but if there's one thing the Kettleblack brothers are not, it's firmly loyal. Jaime's assessment - that Ser Osmund "fought for anyone who would pay" him - is an accurate summary of all the Kettleblacks; their bodies, minds, and souls are always up for the highest bidder, and no bidder is too sacred to be replaced. Even Littlefinger complains to Sansa that "the lads are far too treacherous", with Osmund "especially unreliable" since he was named to the Kingsguard. They're as unreliable kettles as you could scour up, and as Osney's confession under torture demonstrated, they're never so firm as not to crack.
Let me know what you think of these words for House Kettleblack. Next week goes to an extinct House, another family whose unfortunate fate was to rule Harrenhal.
56 notes · View notes
gotcasting · 8 years ago
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Osfryd Kettleblack
Jason Segel - 37 years old, American.
(Accent. Dark hair.)
1 note · View note
istumpysk · 2 years ago
Note
Okay, given that you think the show switched around a lot of endings (very valid, to be honest), how likely do you think it is that they gave Tommen Tyrion's ending?
The gargoyles watched him ascend. Their eyes glowed red as hot coals in a brazier. Perhaps once they had been lions, but now they were twisted and grotesque. - Bran IV, AGOT
Stone and shattered gargoyles lay strewn across the yard. They fell just where I did, Bran thought when he saw them. Some of the gargoyles had broken into so many pieces it made him wonder how he was alive at all. - Bran VII, ACOK
Tyrion Lannister was sitting on the ledge above the door to the Great Hall, looking for all the world like a gargoyle. - Jon I, AGOT
Motionless as a gargoyle, Tyrion Lannister hunched on one knee atop a merlon. - Tyrion XIII, ACOK
I am by no means certain about Tyrion's endgame but I just came across these quotes while rereading ACOK and I am intrigued. What do you think?
I completely agree with your observation that George has intentionally connected Tyrion to the gargoyles.
"Yes. The gods have been kind to you, Sansa. You are a lovely girl. It seems almost obscene to squander such sweet innocence on that gargoyle." "What gargoyle?" Sansa did not understand. - Sansa III, ASOS
But I'm not sure what the takeaway is.
It seems quite probable that Tommen will throw himself from a window in Maegor's Holdfast.
There's the historical parallel:
Yet all these were as naught against the tragedy that descended on the court and king. On the twenty-second day of the ninth moon of 133 AC, Jaehaera of House Targaryen, Queen of the Seven Kingdoms and the last surviving child of King Aegon II, perished at the age of ten. The little queen died just as her mother, Queen Helaena, had, throwing herself from a window in Maegor's Holdfast onto the iron spikes that lined the dry moat below. Impaled through breast and belly, she twisted in agony for half an hour before she could be lifted free, whereupon she passed from this life at once. - Fire & Blood
Plus, throughout A Feast For Crows, George consistently emphasizes the iron spikes whenever Cersei is on the drawbridge:
She paused upon the drawbridge that spanned the dry moat, gazing down at the spikes below. - Cersei I, AFFC
x
She left him on the drawbridge that spanned the dry moat with its bed of iron spikes and entered Maegor's Holdfast alone. - Cersei V, AFFC
x
"Should Ser Loras fall, Your Grace will need to find another worthy for the Kingsguard," Lord Qyburn said as they crossed over the spiked moat that girded Maegor's Holdfast. - Cersei VII, AFFC
Lastly, in the epilogue, Kevan Lannister remarks about the iron spikes, then the text quickly transitions to the lack of available Kingsguard to watch over Tommen:
The dry moat surrounding Maegor's Holdfast was three feet deep in snow, the iron spikes that lined it glistening with frost. The only way in or out of Maegor's was across the drawbridge that spanned that moat. A knight of the Kingsguard was always posted at its far end. Tonight the duty had fallen to Ser Meryn Trant. With Balon Swann hunting the rogue knight Darkstar down in Dorne, Loras Tyrell gravely wounded on Dragonstone, and Jaime vanished in the riverlands, only four of the White Swords remained in King's Landing, and Ser Kevan had thrown Osmund Kettleblack (and his brother Osfryd) into the dungeon within hours of Cersei's confessing that she had taken both men as lovers. That left only Trant, the feeble Boros Blount, and Qyburn's mute monster Robert Strong to protect the young king and royal family. - Epilogue, ADWD
It's not a lot, but it's enough for me. Lol
As much as I'd love for it to be Tyrion, Tommen feels like the safer bet. :)
57 notes · View notes
someasoiafart · 2 years ago
Photo
by Bidonica
Tumblr media
KETTLEBLACK BROTHERS
30 notes · View notes
esther-dot · 3 years ago
Note
I appreciate you sensitivity in speaking about abuse victims. I agree, I think GRRM is showing that violence, personal & political, begets violence until someone decides to break the cycle. And each character who experiences abuse/violence gets that opportunity in the books to choose how they are going to handle it. Are they going to begin the cycle all over or are they going to be the one to break it. That’s why I am drawn to Sansa. She actively chooses to break that cycle.
This is beautifully put, anon! There are so many instances where she has an impulse that isn’t kind but then reconsiders because although understandable, it doesn’t fix what has happened to her. I think that was a very  important aspect of her characterization because it isn’t that she is such a good person that she feels no anger or wishes no violence, but that she is learning recognizes the humanity in others, and allows herself to respond to it, to change.
Her treatment of Tyrion and Lancel are such good examples of ability to not become what those who wrong her would reduce her to, and of course, the Morros scene may be the best one:
"Look at that upjumped oaf," Joff hooted, loud enough for half the yard to hear. Morros, a mere squire and a new-made squire at that, was having difficulty managing lance and shield. The lance was a knight's weapon, Sansa knew, the Slynts lowborn. Lord Janos had been no more than commander of the City Watch before Joffrey had raised him to Harrenhal and the council.                 
I hope he falls and shames himself, she thought bitterly. I hope Ser Balon kills him. When Joffrey proclaimed her father's death, it had been Janos Slynt who seized Lord Eddard's severed head by the hair and raised it on high for king and crowd to behold, while Sansa wept and screamed.
Morros wore a checkered black-and-gold cloak over black armor inlaid with golden scrollwork. On his shield was the bloody spear his father had chosen as the sigil of their new-made house. But he did not seem to know what to do with the shield as he urged his horse forward, and Ser Balon's point struck the blazon square. Morros dropped his lance, fought for balance, and lost. One foot caught in a stirrup as he fell, and the runaway charger dragged the youth to the end of the lists, head bouncing against the ground. Joff hooted derision. Sansa was appalled, wondering if the gods had heard her vengeful prayer. But when they disentangled Morros Slynt from his horse, they found him bloodied but alive. "Tommen, we picked the wrong foe for you," the king told his brother. "The straw knight jousts better than that one." (ACOK, Sansa I)
and this is connected to her horror at the quick succession of battles:
One of the Redwyne twins was being driven backward by Ser Tallad, with the eyes on his shield. Chunky Ser Kennos of Kayce, who chuffed and puffed every time he raised his longsword, seemed to be holding his own against Osney Kettleblack, but Osney's brother Ser Osfryd was savagely punishing the frog-faced squire Morros Slynt. Blunted swords or no, Slynt would have a rich crop of bruises by the morrow. It made Sansa wince just to watch. They have scarcely finished burying the dead from the last battle, and already they are practicing for the next one. (ASOS, Sansa I)
So I agree with you about Martin’s stance against violence, personal and political, and I think we see in Sansa the kind of person who will work to stop it. Helping, not killing, that’s our girl.
(in reference to this post)
70 notes · View notes
youritalianbookpal · 4 years ago
Text
Tumblr media
[Transcription: citation taken from A Feast for Crows by George R. R. Martin. The quote reads: [...] Kettleblacks. "No one is ever to know that she was here." "Aye, m'lady." Ser Osney had faint scratches on his cheek where another of Tyrion's whores had clawed him. "And what shall we do with her?" "Feed her to your dogs. Keep her for a bedmate. What do I care? She was never here. I'll have the tongue of any man who dares to say she was. Do you understand me?" Osney and Osfryd exchanged a look. "Aye,Your Grace." She followed them back inside and watched as they bundled the girl up in her father's bloody blankets. Shae, her name was Shae.]
See, the way Cersei can go from “What do I care,” to “Shae, her name was Shae,” is one of the reasons why I absolutely love her character. 
65 notes · View notes