#page 257 and 258 to be more precise

[codename-adler]

...dance 'til you find someone to die for...

What if instead of Seth, Riko tried to get rid of Aaron?

Chapter 17 ♟️ [table of contents]

(CW: canon-typical violence, Drake Spear, referenced canon SA, implied/mentioned alcoholism + drug addiction)

Aaron Minyard killed a man. One swing of a racquet; one lifeless body.

Blood everywhere.

He did it. Aaron Minyard had murdered a man.

Aaron Minyard was a murderer. Just one swing of a racquet; one lifetime of darkness.

Trouble everywhere, forever.

And he'd do it again. Even all alone and facing criminal charges, prison sentences, endless interrogations and angry cops, that's what kept him going.

It took almost a day before he was let out. He came back to Wymack and Nicky and Abby, to the Foxes by extension, to Kevin too, and he could stay til the trial. Aaron didn't ask where Andrew was. He knew. He didn't understand, but he knew. Neil was still there, though. With a lot to say, apparently.

"Are you at all sorry? You took his family from him," he accused Aaron. Aaron knew he was getting at something, but he didn't have the energy to humor Neil; he stayed silent and stared blandly. "Cass and Richard Spear. They were going to keep Andrew. Drake was an inconvenience Andrew was willing to live with in exchange," Neil went on viciously, but still Aaron said nothing.

An inconvenience...

An inconvenience.

Oh, that fucking compulsive bullshitter with his bullshit opinions and bullshit threats...

Wait until you get what's coming for you, motherfucker.

"And now Drake is dead. Do you think Cass will ever forgive Andrew? It doesn't matter what Drake did to him. She won't be able to look at Andrew without knowing her son is dead because of him," Neil said.

I don't care.

If I could bring him back from the dead and kill him again, I would.

He dared touch Andrew.

He had it coming.

But Aaron said none of that. Neil didn't deserve to hear it. He wasn't the one who needed to hear it. Aaron simply looked at Neil, waiting for him to spit out the last of his poisonous barbs.

"You look like someone who doesn't have an ounce of regret... So you get it. You do get it. Why Andrew killed you mother. You understand why he did it, because you did exactly that, last night. For him. You-" Neil tried to go on.

"Stop."

"Oh, no, no, no, this has gone on long enough and you need to-" Neil continued.

"To what? Hear you out? Apologize? Beg? Repent? Forgive and forget?" Aaron said, his tone cold and razor sharp.

"Oh, well all of the above, while you're at it. You have a couple of weeks to meditate on that and get your act together until Andrew comes back and to present a united front next time we face the Ravens and the other-" Neil tried to say.

"I said, stop. Stop it, Neil. Just stop." Aaron's voice cracked. But Neil didn't care. Neil never cared. He opened his mouth again, but Aaron cut him off before he could speak.

"No. No, Neil. I won't cave. I won't cave for you like everybody else has. I said stop, and you didn't. I don't owe you shit. You take Andrew's side? Fine. God knows he needs someone in his corner, even if it's you. He won't let me in. Do you understand that, Neil? He won't let me in. I've had years to come to terms with what he's done. Years. I've grown. I got over it. I understood. And I got to be grateful for it. My resentment does not lie where he thinks  it seems to. If he doesn't see that, if he refuses to open his eyes and see the change that happened, if he refuses to change himself, then that is on him. Not me. And if you really believe what you think you see when you look at me, Neil, that is also on you. Has anyone on the team ever made you justify yourself for the way you act? Even though you make no sense most of the time? No. Not even me. And all you've ever done for me in exchange is make my life a living hell. You did that. Not Andrew."

Neil rolled his eyes and threw his hands in the air, then started to turn away.

"Neil Josten, you will listen to me. Turn the fuck around, right now," Aaron said, his voice thunderous despite keeping it low. "You seem like a guy who isn't really close to his parents, but then again you also seem to think you know Andrew and his mother inside-out. Let me introduce you to my mother, now."

Neil recoiled. Aaron didn't care.

"Tilda Minyard was a neglectful mother who abused her son, in all forms possible. She was also an addict, and it's the only family value she would pass on to to her son. That was Tilda Minyard. The only thing she ever was, and would ever be. Because she died. Doesn't matter how. She died. So what was so bad about that? The orphaning of her son? The unsolved circumstances of her death? Or perhaps the unresolved trauma she inflicted upon her son? Because her son didn't care he hadn't had the chance to say goodbye, though that upset him for a while. And he didn't care that his newfound twin brother had committed murder for him, though that upset him, too. No, the worse about the death of Tilda Minyard was that her son would never be able to hold her accountable for all the shit she had given him. That was the most upsetting, the most unforgiveable. That was the worse. She was gone and, if not at peace, she was at least unbothered for the rest of eternity. But her son was still here. Still alive. Still hurting. He would never get revenge. He would never get to punish her himself, and make her have a taste of her own medicine. He would never get the satisfaction of looking in her eyes to see the light go out, not from death, but from defeat. And above all, he would never get to understand why. Aaron Minyard would never get closure. That's what had been robbed from him. Not a mother; closure."

Neil seemed to have deflated entirely. His mouth was hanging open, hurt in his eyes. Aaron didn't know what was the deal with Neil's parents, but he certainly knew that what he saw in Neil's eyes was also recognition.

So you see, you get it, now.

But Aaron wasn't letting him off the hook so soon.

"Nobody knows that. Because nobody ever fucking bothered to see past what I was apparently 'projecting'. They prefer to assume. You are the first I ever told. So maybe I should thank you for that, Neil Josten. Thank you for making the last 24 hours even more exhausting and horrible than they already were. Thank you for only caring about your fucking Exy team when the man standing before you is facing a life-sentence. Thank you. Thank you so fucking much."

Neil retreated even more and with that, and before Aaron choked on the lump in his throat, he turned around to leave, only to collide with a wall of muscles.

"Oh, hi Kevin. Glad you're not gone with Andrew. You took good care of Nicky for me?" Aaron said like it was nothing.

Except it wasn't, and Kevin wasn't fooled. The tears were already streaming down Aaron's face, even as he smiled big and bright while talking. Kevin had heard most of the exchange between Neil and Aaron, but he understood and felt all the tension in the air. As glad as he was that Neil promised to protect him during Andrew's absence, he didn't know how that would work if Neil and Aaron tore each other apart, especially if Kevin took Aaron's side. Because he was extremely tempted to, even when he knew Neil had only months left to live and had sacrificed everything to join the Foxes. He filed that thought for later, lest the situation before him escalated too much. Kevin tried his best when he answered.

"It's Neil's turn to watch over Nicky, so I came down. You can go now, Neil," he said, eyes fixed on Neil. As angry as he looked, Neil was also showing signs of distress and hurt, so he took the way out Kevin was offering him and left to go upstairs. Kevin waited a couple of minutes to make sure Neil had truly gone into Nicky's room and had closed the door.

Before him, Aaron was still crying silently, his smile fake and flaking and stuck to his lips, his eyes cast to Kevin's chest as though he could see right through it. Kevin moved away from Aaron, walking towards the stairs, before he turned back, waiting for Aaron to follow.

He didn't. He was frozen in place.

"Minyard. Minyard! God, Aaron! Dammit, shithead!" Kevin whisper-yelled at the short blonde. Aaron finally reacted on the last word, his eyes trailing from the wall to Kevin. "Oh, that's the name you respond to, now? Good to know. Move your ass, will you, shithead?" Kevin replied, his words dripping sarcasm.

"And where do you think you're going?" Aaron replied, sniffling back tears and wiping his eyes, nose and cheeks with his sleeve.

"I- Well, someone has to make sure you and Neil don't ki- fight each other while nobody's looking. Plus, I don't wanna hear whatever is going on with Coach and Abby if I'm on the couch, so... Upstairs I go."

"You can say the word. 'Kill'. I won't kill fucking Josten while he sleeps, don't worry about it. I can control myself," Aaron snarled.

"I know that and fuck you for thinking otherwise. Move your ass or take the couch, I don't care, just don't stay there like a creep," Kevin shot back, unfazed.

"You don't?"

Kevin raised an eyebrow, not understanding Aaron's question.

"Care. You don't?" Aaron repeated.

Kevin couldn't answer. Not that question. Not to Aaron. Not even to himself.

"If you don't regret what happened to Drake, neither do I. I don't care about that. If you want to stand all night long staring at the wall, suit yourself. I don't care about that. But if it's all the same to you, we're both tired, I need a drink and you need a friend. Sounds familiar, don't you think? Remember our deal, Aaron." Kevin finally said.

Slowly, oh so slowly, Aaron nodded, all the fight seeping out of him, his shoulders sagging. He sniffled some more, gathering the last of his strength a few moments longer, before shuffling his way past Kevin and up to his room. Kevin followed him quietly, letting out a relieved sigh when Aaron brushed past him. Once Kevin closed the door, Aaron burrowed under the covers of his bed, pulling the comforter over his head and letting the dark swallow him. Kevin wanted to look around, wanted to take in everything of this room he'd never been in, this room that was entirely Aaron, but he couldn't bring himself to. It felt too private. Too close to... too close.

He was regretting his impulse to convince Aaron to hide from the others. He shook his head and made a move to exit. He heard ruffling at his back and Aaron's muffled voice made its way to his ears.

"If you step out that door, can you promise me not to drink?"

No.

Not yet.

One day, maybe.

But not tonight.

Kevin removed his hand from where it had latched itself on the doorknob and turned around. Aaron flapped open a corner of the comforter, keeping his head buried in the mattress. Kevin closed his eyes, took a deep breath and stopped himself from thinking twice about it. He joined Aaron on the queen bed and pulled back the covers again over their heads, soft darkness overtaking once more. Kevin was glad to be in sweats from head to toe, comfortable enough to lay on his stomach like Aaron. His head, resting against his arms, was turned towards Aaron, and they breathed the same air for a while, only making out faint shadows of each other's face.

Kevin wanted to say something. Kevin wanted Aaron to say something.

The mattress started shaking suddenly, and Kevin felt a pain in his chest when he realized Aaron had started crying again, less quietly, more painfully. He moved his leg to nudge Aaron's.

"Hey, hey..." Kevin whispered between them. "I- Aaron... You'll-"

"Don't tell me I'll be okay, Day, or I will push you off," Aaron whispered back between two sobs.

And right then, if Kevin still didn't know what to say, he knew what Aaron needed to hear.

"You're right. Drake is dead, Andrew is gone, and you are not okay. You know that. We both do. But from now until the trial, you are still ours, and I'm still the man you gave your game to. I haven't forgotten that. I don't care what people label you as because of what you did, I don't care about what you did, and neither should you. So tonight, rest. Tomorrow, rise," Kevin moved one hand from under his head to gently grab the back of Aaron's. "I will keep my end of both our deals. What you do is up to you, but you can't run. You don't run from this. You stay, and you play, and one day you'll win. Until that day, you fight, Aaron. Tell me you will."

Minutes passed as Aaron's breathing evened out. Slowly, his gaze made its way up Kevin's face, until they locked eyes through the darkness cast by the comforter overhead. Aaron exhaled once more before answering.

"I will."

(read on Ao3 here !)