#perfect execution of dialogue btw

[ex0rin]

Ash & Lars Garver | No Exit (2022)

[giveafike]

i need a jealous ben fic NOW‼️

TLDR: just normal girlfriend!fem reader x Ben Shelton until you get hit on...

Word count + info: 5.1k! Whole lotta dialogue (lots of jealous/sassy ben and teasing). Mentions of Carlos Antagonist Alcaraz (NO HATE ALL LOVE! I HAD TO PICK SOMEONE, SORRY DONT CRUCIFY ME) Also, lwky wanted to fight y/n in this, idk stop being a bitch lwky.

Warnings + Content Ahead: SFW, jealous ben, possessiveness, neck kisses mentioned - that's about it!

Azzie Notes ✚: WOAH! NO "PLEASE" ANON??? hehe, I'm kidding, you got it. Made a twt btw (azziegivesafike), find me on there. I'll add anon asks there in my bio if you still want to ask stuff without feeling bad <3 but we can talk and yap over there! spoilers on there too.

When this goes up, i should be wrapping up the next Benny post (NSFW)... so keep an eye out! Halloween special coming out on Halloween too! Sorry for starving u guys for so long, but there's stuff on the way!

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Yours - B.T.S.

It's a perfect day in Monte Carlo. The Mediterranean sun blazes bright over the red clay courts and a salty breeze from the sea drifts in on the warm air. The tournament grounds are buzzing with energy, with players, coaches, and friends milling about. You’re seated in the empty stands, overlooking an outdoor practice court as Ben works through his drills. The clay glows a rich terracotta, and each of Ben’s serves echoes powerfully across the court, every stroke executed with his usual, intense focus. Sweat beads on his brow and neck, tiny rivulets rolling down his face, yet his focus never wavers. His damp curls cling to his forehead as he catches his breath between points, his shirt sticking in faint ripples across his torso. You smile, watching him move, not just admiring his talent but also the way he pours himself into every swing, even for a practice session.

You and Ben have been dating for just over a year, and despite both your schedules, you make time to see him, even if it’s only during practice rounds and training. He’s always been strong, both in his love for you and in his commitment to his sport. Having you there seems to centre him; he stands a little taller, pride filling each swing as he puts on a show to make you smile. You, of course, are always proud of him. You see the work and dedication he brings to everything, especially to you. To him, you’re a calm anchor in a sea of intensity, the one he confides in, his steady rock.

Ben’s love for you feels inevitable. Your humour, your intelligence, and your quiet confidence make you a magnetic presence. You’re not just his girlfriend; you’re his best friend, his advisor, the one who helps him open up. You’re his partner in every sense. However, your natural magnetism does bring on many others, and today was no different.

As Ben finishes a rally, you hear the scuff of trainers approaching. You glance up to see Carlos Alcaraz strolling toward you, hands casually tucked in his pockets, his grin as easy as ever, a small bag slung over his shoulder.

“Hey,” he starts, his warm Spanish accent wrapping around the word like a charm. He gestures to the empty seat beside you. “Mind if I join?”

You nod, shifting over slightly. You kept your tone light, you had caught his eye and made small talk before, you weren't one to be starstruck or dazed by now. “Of course, plenty of room, Carlos. How’s your day been?”

Carlos settles in, leaning back with a relaxed sigh. “Just finished my session. This weather’s amazing, a bit warm, no?”

You laugh softly. “It is, isn’t it? I’ve been trying to hide in the shade, I don't know how you tennis players handle the heat.”

Carlos chuckles, casting a look toward Ben as he drills. “Ben’s looking strong out there.”

“He is,” you reply softly, eyes trailing back to Ben with a soft gaze, who, you know, can feel you watching him. Ben's tongue pokes out the side of his mouth as he squats, rocking from one leg to the other as he waits for the next serve, his eyes narrowed across the court. You couldn't help but stifle a small laugh, adoring the image ahead of you.

Carlos leans back, draping his arm casually along the back of your chair, not in a suggestive way but one that feels natural. At least, it doesn't feel like anything. You can't help but notice the closeness but brush it off. Carlos has always been friendly.

“So,” Carlos starts, turning slightly towards you, his dark eyes examining your face, “do you ever get bored watching all this tennis? Being around it every day?” There’s a playful tone to his voice, his dark eyes sparkling.

You laugh lightly, shaking your head as you look back to Carlos. “No, not when it’s Ben. He keeps things interesting and exciting. I love seeing him play”.

Carlos gives you a knowing smile, his eyes holding a hint of mischief, lingering a moment longer than usual. “Ah, yes. Lucky guy,” he says with a grin. “Must be nice to have someone always in your corner.”

“Yeah, I'd like to think so,” you say lightly, shrugging off the comment.

Carlos is charming, but it’s likely just friendly banter. You turn back to Ben, watching as he powers another serve into the clay, the impact sending a cloud of dust into the air. Both you and Carlos take a sharp inhale at the unexpected force of the hit.

You notice Ben’s shoulders tense, his jaw tightening as he catches sight of you watching. He wipes his brow with the back of his hand, and for a moment, his next few shots come off harder than usual, landing dangerously close to the lines, his movements more forceful, even a bit reckless, for a practice session. The ball slams into the ground with a fierce intensity, almost as if he’s competing, trying to prove something. You blink, then shake your head with a small smile. Maybe he’s just having a moment of intense focus.

Carlos clears his throat before returning his eyes to you. “So, will you be staying for long here?” Carlos asks, his tone conversational, yet you feel the conversation lingering on the edge of something more.

“Oh, we’re not sure. Might play it by ear,” you respond, glancing over at him. “How about you?”

“Depends,” he says with a playful shrug. “I may stick around if there’s something interesting keeping me here.”

You giggle politely, assuming he’s talking about tennis, but something in his tone gives you pause. You feel a flicker of unease but push it aside, convincing yourself it’s just your imagination.

Ben, however, is clearly catching on. His next few serves are downright explosive, practically booming throughout the court as the ball hits the clay with an almost competitive edge. When he looks over again, his eyes narrow slightly, his lips pressed into a firm, tight line. His hands are at his sides as he mutters to himself quietly. Between points, he glances your way, brows drawn slightly, muttering to himself just loud enough for you to notice. You catch the faintest pout tugging at his expression like he’s quietly vying for your attention. Between shots, he meets your eyes with a raised brow as if to say, 'Are you watching me?' You stifle a smile and arch an eyebrow back, letting him know you are.

Carlos leans forward, elbows resting on his knees, casually closing the distance a little. “You seem like you’re used to this lifestyle. Like travel, tournaments, attention ..all of it.”

“Yeah, I’ve gotten used to it. It’s a different pace, but I only get to see glimpses of it when I-” you start to say, but your attention is pulled toward Ben, whose movements are starting to change.

Without warning, the ball cracks loudly off his racket, and he sends a blistering forehand down the line with an intensity that seems to echo across the court. His jaw is clenched, his brows furrowed, as he wipes his upper lip with the back of his hand. You blink, momentarily thrown, and struggle to refocus on Carlos, though Ben’s shift in mood has left you a bit unsettled. Is he just having an intense moment of focus, or did something happen to set him off? Whatever it is, his gaze shifts to you more often, dark, narrowed and brooding. You offer a small smile to yourself, more confused than amused, and turn back to Carlos, finishing off where you had left off, though Ben’s presence looms larger than ever.

On the drive back to the hotel, tension sits heavy in the air. Ben tosses his bag into the back seat with more force than necessary, shutting the door a little too hard as he slides into the driver’s seat. You scroll through messages and check in on group chats, but the quiet storm brewing beside you isn’t lost on you. His hands grip the wheel tightly, his jaw is clenched shut, his gaze locked on the road with an intensity that’s hard to ignore. With a sigh, you set your phone on your lap and glance over.

“You know, your forehand was on fire today,” you say, trying to lighten the mood.

He side-eyes you, his tone sassy as his lips pressed in a faint scowl. “Mmm. Sure.”

You raise a brow, undeterred. “Did you enjoy training? You seemed extra… um, focused.”

Ben lets out a sharp exhale, fingers drumming against the steering wheel. “Focused,” he repeats, almost to himself. He’s quiet a moment longer, then shakes his head with a scoff. “Yeah, you could say that.”

You tilt your head, giving him a look. “Alright, spill. What’s up with you?”

Ben’s jaw tenses, and he keeps his eyes forward. “You really didn’t notice?”

“Notice what?”

He kisses his teeth with his tongue, clearly annoyed. “Carlitos,” he says finally, voice clipped. The name practically rolls off his tongue like a curse.

You blink, caught off guard. “Carlos?”

“Yeah. Sitting all close, leaning in, making you laugh,” he grumbles.

“Like he’s some kind of…” He shakes his head, muttering to himself. “Honestly, baby, you couldn’t see through that?”

A small lopsided grin tugs at your lips. “Ben, he was just being friendly.”

“Friendly,” he repeats with a scoff. His voice raises a bit as he glances over to you. “I know exactly what that kind of ‘friendly’ means. That's the kind of 'friendly' I was before I had my hands round you and I-”

"Ben! God, you can't be serious" You stifle a laugh, your jaw dropped as you look at him. Sassy Shelton came out strong today, clearly.

He sighs, running a hand over his face quickly. "Baby, he's not 'friendly'. That’s what he wants you to think. I know guys like him. Hell, I was a guy like him before you gave me a chance. Now he's trying to get your attention-- right in front of me, mind you -- and-”.

“Are you jealous, Ben?”

He gives you a look, eyes narrowed, though the blush creeping up his neck gives him away. “I’m not jealous. Like, the way he was actin’ around you, leanin’ in close, smilin’ too much. He was flirtin’, and you didn’t even notice - I just don’t like seeing some guy try to cozy up to you like that. ” He hesitates, then mutters, “Especially not while I’m right there.”

You chuckle softly, reaching over to place a hand on his arm. “Ben, I think you’re overreacting. Carlos is just... Carlos. It’s nothing.”

Ben shakes his head, still frowning. “You don’t get it. I’ve seen him pull that charm on other girls. He gets all friendly and sweet and cool, but it ain’t just for fun.”

“Well, I’m not other girls,” you say, squeezing his arm gently. “And I’m definitely not interested in anyone else but you.”

He stays quiet for a moment, his jaw working as he chews on your words. Finally, he exhales, his grip loosening slightly on the wheel. “I know… it’s just… I don’t like him thinkin’ he can try somethin’. I didn’t like the way he was lookin’ at you.”

You raise an eyebrow, clearly amused now. "You’re really worked up over this, aren’t you? Were you pouting out there on the court?”

He huffs, looking away, a hint of a smirk breaking through as he rolls his eyes. “Don’t flatter yourself.”

"I wouldn't but here you are, pouting, right in front of me." You tease, your voice lilting as you inch over to his face.

He lets out a deep breath, turning back to the road, his anger melting a bit but still lingering in his words. “I just think he should’ve backed off,” he mutters. “Especially when he knows you're mine".

“Ben, no one’s got my attention like you do. You know that. I'm yours.”

He finally lets out a reluctant smile, though he tries to hide it. “Yeah, well,” he mutters, his tone softer, “good. ��Cause I don’t plan on sharing.”

The rest of the ride goes by easier as you talk about your own life, people and things, taking Ben's mind off of the court.

Later that evening, as you’re finishing up your skincare routine. The day's events have already faded from your mind, but you know Ben hasn’t completely shaken it off. He’s been quieter than usual since practice ended. Now he’s standing in the doorway, freshly showered, his hair damp, his grey t-shirt hanging loosely on his frame, and pyjama shorts slung low on his hips.

His hands are in his pockets, but his eyes are focused intently on you. He’s got that familiar look, pouty lips, eyes narrowed, the kind of look he gets when he wants to ask something.

You glance at him in the mirror and smile softly. “What’s up?”

Ben doesn’t respond right away. He pushes himself off the doorframe, stepping closer. “So...what did Carlos actually say to you today?” he asks, his voice quiet and soft.

The question catches you a little off guard, surely he can't still be on this. “Carlos?” you echo, frowning slightly. “You mean… earlier, at practice?”

He nods, but there’s no humour in his expression. “Yeah, baby. What’d he say?”

You chuckle softly, turning to face him. “Ben, come on, it was just a friendly chat. It wasn’t like that-”

“I didn’t say it was like that,” Ben cuts in, his voice sharper than usual, his tone still soft as he folds his arms over his broad chest, looking down at your face, almost with pleading eyes. “Just… tell me what he said.”

You hesitate, realising that he’s serious, the playfulness you expected absent. “He was just chatting. You know, we were talking about tennis, the match, practice…” you start, unsure why he’s so worked up. “At one point, he was asking if we, or was it just me? Whatever, asking if we were staying here and I said we haven't decided and then he said something about he might be sticking around. Like, if he found something ‘worthy,’ he’d stay longer or whatever.”

Ben’s jaw clenches, and he shakes his head slowly, bringing a hand up to wipe his face. “Worthy?” he mutters to himself, his expression hardening. His hands are still buried in his pockets, but you can see the tension in his shoulders. “He said that? Like, right to you? Exactly like that?”

You shrug, still not fully understanding why this has him so riled up. “Yeah, but I didn’t think anything of it. He didn’t mean anything-”

“Didn’t mean anything?” Ben interrupts, his voice climbing slightly, his hands waving exasperatedly. He steps closer again, almost looming over you. “He knew what he was sayin’. He knows how he sounds, baby. And you laughed at him.”

You blink, caught off guard. “Wait, you’re mad because I laughed?”

Ben huffs, looking down at you with frustration evident in every line of his body. “No, but babe- I’m mad ‘cause he pulled your attention away from me! You’re there to watch me, not talk to him. But he just slides in there, all smooth, and suddenly you’re caught up in some conversation with him, while I’m bustin’ my ass on court, looking over to see my girl caught my shot only to see some guy leaning over, making eyes at her!”

You bite back a smile at the raw honesty in his voice. He’s not playing games, not teasing, just genuinely upset. “Ben, I wasn’t ignoring you-”

“Well, you weren’t exactly watching me either!” he exclaims, cutting you off again. “I saw you, baby. You weren’t even lookin’ my way.” His voice softens, but it’s filled with frustration, his hand reaching for yours as he holds them, running his thumb over your knuckles. “You’re supposed to be there for me, and he’s over here making you laugh, takin’ your attention like it’s no big deal.”

You sigh, reaching out to rest your hand on his chest, trying to soothe the tension. “Ben, I’m always there for you. He was just making conversation.”

Ben’s eyes narrow and he drops your hands softly. He closes his eyes like he's mulling over everything before he suddenly opens his mouth to mimic Carlos’s voice, clearly irritated. “‘If you find somethin’ worthy, no?’” he says in a poorly executed accent, making you almost burst out laughing. “‘Maybe you’ll stay longer, si?’” He huffs, shaking his head. “What kind of friendly talk is that? He knows what he’s doin’. He talks like that on purpose.”

You can’t help but chuckle at his attempt to copy Carlos, even if you know he’s genuinely upset. “Ben, baby, stop. You’re being ridiculous.”

“Ridiculous?” Ben stares at you, a pout forming on his lips again. “I’m ridiculous for wantin’ my girl to be there for me? For not likin’ that some other guy’s got your eyes on him when they should be on me?"

Your gaze softens as you look up at him and bring a hand up to his face, your thumb tracing a line along his jaw. “Ben, I was paying attention to you. Maybe not in every single moment, but trust me, you had my attention. You always do.”

He still looks unconvinced, his lips pressing into a tight line. “It didn’t feel like it,” he mutters. “Not when I saw you smilin’ at him. Like, really smilin’. I didn’t like it.”

You let out a soft breath, wrapping your arms around his neck, and pulling him closer. “Ben, I don’t care about Carlos. I only care about you.”

His hands finally find your body again, this time resting on your waist as he looks down at you, his eyes still stormy with frustration. “Yeah, well, he’s smooth, babe. And I don’t like sharing your attention with anyone. Not him. Not anyone.”

“Ben, you never have to. I’m all yours,” you reassure him, smiling as he finally relaxes in your arms, nestling himself into your neck as you feel a small smile against your skin, breaking through his earlier frustration. After a few seconds, he pulls away and stares at you for a long moment, then sighs deeply, the tension slowly leaving his body.

“Yeah… I know,” he mutters, sounding defeated but still a little stubborn.

You press a kiss to his cheek, your lips lingering against his skin. “Why don’t you let me help you relax, huh? Come here.”

He reluctantly follows as you guide him to sit on the vanity stool. His pout is still present, but the frustration is starting to ebb away. You grab one of your serums and start gently applying it to his face, massaging it into his skin. He closes his eyes, letting out a quiet sigh as you work on his stress.

“You’re ridiculous, you know that?” you tease softly, fingers working in small circles along his jawline.

“Yeah, but you love me,” Ben mumbles, his voice soft, his head leaning into your palm.

You smile, brushing your thumb gently over his cheek. “I do love you. But you’ve gotta stop worrying about Carlos. He’s not worth your time.”

Ben doesn’t say anything for a moment, just lets you continue massaging the cream into his skin, the tension slowly draining from his body. After a while, he murmurs, “You think Carlos would wanna try this skincare routine?”

You roll your eyes, chuckling. “Ben, I don’t care what Carlos would want.”

He cracks a smile, his eyes still closed, clearly pleased with your response. “Good. ‘Cause I don’t wanna share that either.”

You laugh softly, pressing a kiss to his lips, his hand finding its way to the back of your neck, pulling you closer. When you finally pull back, you see a small, content smile on his face.

“Feel better?” you ask gently, running your fingers through his damp curls. You gently place yourself on his lap, both of you sitting in front of the vanity mirror, skin glazed and soft.

“Yeah…” he admits quietly, nuzzling into your neck as his arms wrap around your waist. “I just… I just want you all to myself, baby.”

You press another kiss to his forehead, feeling him relax further as you gently play with his hair. “You already have me, silly.”

Ben hums softly, his lips brushing against your neck as he murmurs, “You’re all mine.”

And at that moment, all the jealousy melts away as he buries his face in the crook of your neck once again, smiling softly as your hands work their way through his curls, your touch easing all his frustrations into nothing more than soft, happy sighs and sweet murmurs.

The next day at the court, thinking maybe things have settled. After all, Ben had gotten everything off his chest last night, or so you thought. But the moment you take your seat near the sidelines, you see Carlos already lingering nearby, his eyes lighting up as soon as he spots you. His confident stride brings him over with the same swagger as yesterday, but this time there’s a shift. He’s more deliberate.

“Good morning,” he says, leaning casually on the railing. “Back to watch Ben again, eh?”

You nod, offering a polite smile. “Looking forward to it.” Ben's words and frustrations spin around your head, he wasn't one to overreact or be quick to be jealous, so seeing how upset he was yesterday, you knew this meant a great deal to him. You also felt more suspicious of Carlos, finding lingering undertones in his actions and words.

Carlos leans in, just close enough that you feel a flicker of discomfort. “You know, it must be hard, watching your boyfriend all day in this heat no? You must get so bored. Why don’t you come down to the lounge, we can grab a drink?” His tone is light, but there’s no mistaking the undertone. It’s flirty, persistent, and more than friendly. You can feel it, and it makes you shift in your seat. Ben might've been right to have been so built up about this.

“I’m good, thanks. I'm here for Ben,” your voice firm but still kind. You don’t want to cause a scene, but it’s clear he’s not taking the hint. You look across the court and see Ben shaking his racket a bit, his gaze leaving yours as he stares at the clay under him, his jaw clenched tight.

Carlos chuckles, ignoring the brush-off, his arm lingering along the back of your chair. “One drink can’t hurt, I promise I won’t steal you for too long.”

As he leans closer, you shift in your seat. At that moment, you catch sight of Ben, watching intently from across the court. He’s looking directly at Carlos, his expression sharp. There’s an intensity in his eyes you haven’t seen before, more than competitiveness, it’s protective.

Without hesitation, Ben strides over, his southern drawl thicker than usual. “Carlitos,” he says, each syllable measured, almost mockingly. “She’s with me, man.”

Carlos raises his hands, feigning innocence as he raises his eyebrows and smirks. “Relax, we were only talking.”

“Yeah? Then talk to someone else, she's not interested” Ben replies, his tone leaving no room for debate. Ben steps up onto the ledge, leaning over the rails, facing Carlos eye to eye.

“Alright, no harm. See you around.” Carlos smirks but backs off, tossing a wink your way before he leaves. Ben watches him retreat, his expression firm, his hand gripping the rail. His eyes are still trained on the Spaniard’s back, and you can see the fire in them.

“Ben,” you murmur softly, reaching for his arm, trying to calm him. “I told him I wasn’t interested.”

His gaze softens as he looks down at you. “I saw him, babe. Too close.” His accent draws out each word slowly, his voice still tight with frustration. “I don’t like the way he was lookin’ at you.”

“I handled it,” you say gently, standing up to face him. “And besides, I’m not interested in anyone but you. He was just trying to get under your skin.”

Ben’s gaze softens slightly, but there’s still that protective edge to him. His hand moves to your waist, pulling you a little closer. “I don’t care what he was tryin’ to do. He doesn’t get to talk to you like that. Not when you’re mine.”

You smile softly, resting a hand on his chest, feeling the tension slowly drain from him. “I’ve always been yours, Ben. You don’t have to worry about anyone else.”

He leans down, pressing his forehead against yours for a moment, eyes closing as he exhales a shaky breath. “I know… I just hate seein’ anyone think they can….” His voice trails off, and he sighs, pulling you closer. You can feel his body start to relax, but there’s still an underlying frustration there. His hand tightens on your waist, the rail holding distance between you two and before you can say anything else, he sighs.

“I don’t want you sittin’ there no more,” he mutters, “You’re gonna stay with me.”

It’s not up for debate, he’s made his decision. And honestly, you don’t mind. He helps you come onto the court, holding you tight as he presses a kiss to your temple. Being by Ben’s side feels right, especially when he’s feeling this protective. You settle next to him, his arm draped over your shoulders, as he goes through the rest of his training. “Come on,” he murmurs. “Stay by me on my bench today, baby.”

After practice, Ben takes you to the player lounge. He’s quieter than usual, but you can tell he’s still stewing over Carlos. His leg bounces nervously as he sits beside you, his arm never leaving your waist. The lounge is almost completely silent, but all Ben can focus on is making sure Carlos doesn’t come anywhere near you again.

“Ben,” you say softly with a gentle smile, resting a hand on his bouncing knee, trying to ground him. “It’s over. He’s not gonna try anything. You made yourself clear.”

He lets out a frustrated breath, biting the inside of his cheek. “He better not.”

You tilt your head, watching him with a small smile. “You’re so worked up over this, huh?”

Ben glances at you, his lips tightening for a second before he sighs. “I just….” He trails off again, clearly struggling to find the words. “You’re mine, baby. That's all.”

You bite back a smile at the possessiveness in his voice. It’s extremely rare for Ben to be this openly jealous, but when it happens, it’s kind of adorable. You lean closer, your fingers brushing over the curls at the nape of his neck. “You don’t need to get all worked up. I only have eyes for one man.”

His body visibly relaxes at your words, the tension in his shoulders easing as you play with his hair. Ben’s cheeks flush slightly at the softness of your touch, and his eyes flicker to yours.

“Yeah?” he murmurs, his voice quieter now, almost vulnerable.

“Yeah,” you whisper back, leaning in to kiss the corner of his mouth softly. “Only you, Ben.”

For a moment, he just stares at you, a small smile tugging at the edges of his lips before it breaks into that gummy smile you know and love, his cheeks tinting a slight shade of pink. His hand comes up to cup your cheek gently, and he leans into the kiss, pressing his lips against yours in a way that’s sweet and slow. It’s like he’s pouring all of his emotions into that one moment, letting go of all the tension that’s been building up.

After Ben pulls back from the kiss, his forehead resting against yours, you smile and gently run your fingers through his curls. He looks so at peace, the tension from earlier melting away, but you can’t resist teasing him a little.

“I didn’t know you could get so jealous,” you say with a playful grin.

Ben huffs a soft laugh, his eyes narrowing playfully as his cheeks flush. “I wasn’t that jealous,” he mumbles, but the way he bites his lower lip, the slight embarrassment in his voice, tells you otherwise.

“Oh really?” You arch a brow, leaning in closer so your lips brush the shell of his ear. “You didn’t sound jealous at all when you called him ‘Carlitos,’ like you were ready to throw him onto the court.”

Ben's blush deepens, and he buries his face in your neck, hiding his smile as you giggle. “Okay, maybe a little jealous,” he admits, his voice muffled against your skin. “But I don’t like guys like him hangin’ around you.”

You laugh softly, your fingers still toying with his curls as he nuzzles deeper into your neck, clearly flustered. “You’re so possessive, Ben,” you tease, your voice warm and affectionate. “It’s kind of cute.”

At that, Ben lets out a breathy, almost bashful chuckle, his lips brushing against your neck as he tries to stifle his own laughter. “Stop,” he mumbles, the smile evident in his voice. “You’re gonna make me blush even more.”

You tilt your head slightly, giving him better access to your neck, and he takes the invitation, pressing the softest, sweetest kisses against your skin. His lips linger there, warm and tender, as his arms wrap tighter around your waist. You feel his breath hitch as he tries not to laugh again, but his amusement bubbles up, and he giggles softly against your neck.

The sound makes your heart melt. Seeing Ben, so often confident and fiery, acting like this, soft, almost giddy in your arms, is a side of him that you absolutely adore and could never take for granted. You smile, feeling his giggles vibrate against your skin as his face stays tucked into your neck, hiding the full blush on his cheeks.

“Who knew the big, tough Ben Shelton could be so shy,” you tease gently, kissing the top of his head.

“Only around you,” he murmurs, his voice low but filled with affection as he pulls you even closer. His lips graze your neck again, lingering longer this time, and you can feel the smile still tugging at his lips.

He nuzzles further into the crook of your neck, his breath warm and steady now, no longer trying to hide his soft laughter. “I guess I do get a little jealous,” he finally admits, his voice quieter now. “I just don’t want anyone else thinkin’ they can have what’s mine.”

You smile and lean your head against his, pressing a kiss to his temple. “I’m always yours, Ben,” you whisper softly.

His body relaxes even more at your words, and he lets out a contented sigh. “Good,” he murmurs, still nestled into your neck, his face still rosy but his heart at ease. “Because I’m not lettin’ go.”

[cyberneticslasher]

Puppy’s Qoutes/Dialogues:

Finally sat down and did these, some of it is prob up for change but here are some things he’d say…uhhh Sasha is his attack dog btw

Attacking/Lunging

“I’ll show you my fangs!”

“Mangy Mutt!”

“Dirty fucking Dog!”

“I’ll teach you about obedience…”

“I’ll skin you and stuff your lousy hide!”

“Playing cat with a dog?”

Blocked by Obstacles

“Like I can’t find another way.”

“Just prolonging the inevitable.”

“Oh, you’re playing hard to get?”

“Now I ain’t afraid to get a little dirty…”

“Teasing a hungry dog is never smart.”

“Fucking tease…”

Start Chase

“I’ll give you a head start.”

“Get back here!”

“Stupid bitch.”

“I like a good game of chase, If I catch you I’ll fuck you like a dog in heat.”

“I’ll show you my bone if you show me yours.”

During Chase

“Get on your hands and knees and maybe I’ll take it easy on you.”

“I can smell how bad you need it…need me…”

“Keep on running, You’ll tire out eventually, then I can do whatever I want.”

“I know this place like the back of my hand, You won’t get far from me.”

“Like a dog chasing a cat, can’t wait to get my mouth on that pussy…”

“I’d love a new chew toy.”

“Sasha! Abrufen!”

“You keep running, she’s gonna get you, and I might just let her have at it.”

Grabbing or Executing Reagent

“I’ll get you to rollover one way or another…”

“I don’t bite…much.”

“Fass!”

“You’ll learn to wag your tail for me.”

“Now I didn’t want to have to put such a pretty lil thing like you down.”

“Let's put a collar on you and teach you a good lesson.”

“Could be my pretty dam, or my filthy bitch.”

Found Hidden Reagent

”Atta boy…”

“Hiding with your tail tucked between your legs?”

“Good girl, Sasha, you deserve a treat. Maybe some fresh meat…”

“Awww, did you lose your pack?”

“Nice and cornered for me to take what I please…”

“This kitty better hide its claws, lest it wants me to tear them out.”

“Shoulda stuck my nose in here in the first place…”

Stunned

“Hey, watch it!”

“This leather isn’t cheap!”

“Oh, you wanna play fetch now?”

“Hurt Sasha and you won’t be seeing the light of day.”

“Don’t you touch my dog!”

“Could use a little obedience…”

“You think I don’t like that?”

“Hit me again, I’ll tear you a-fucking-part.”

“Now you’re trying to piss me off.”

“I ain’t gonna whimper like a hurt dog!”

Investigating

“Like a bunch of fleas in my fur…”

“Sounds suspicious…”

”I smell something needing to be taught a lesson.”

“Come on…come on out…”

“Sasha, die suchen”

“I can hear the slick just dripping off of you, dirty lil thing…”

“Something’s twitchin' my ear.”

“Thought I saw something, must be imagining things.”

“Too excited, need to focus.”

Giving up the Chase

”I got other bones to bury.”

“Some things better left unturned.”

“I got better things to do than chase my tail.”

“Come on, Sasha, ain’t nothing worth getting our paws dirty over.”

“Sasha, Hier.”

Lost sight of the Reagents

“It's my backyard, I’ll sniff you out…”

“This fence keeps you in till I say you can leave…”

“Come on, give a dog a bone.”

“If you come back, I’ll give you a real nice treat…”

“You know I’m known well for my training…could give you a free course or two..heh.”

“Sasha, looks like our friends ran off without us.”

“I’ll find a new toy to play with.”

Patroling

“Obedience…Loyalty…Devotion…”

“Don’t matter what you are, once I remake you in my image, you’ll be my perfect little pet.”

“Should have left me to rot in prison, I deserved that hell.”

“Pa told me once, you have to dominate if you want control…but what good is control over others if you can’t even handle yourself?”

“Should’ve never kissed that boy in high school, maybe then I’d be a decent man, an honest one.”

“Now you can’t just let a dog walk all over you. You've got to show them who's boss, put them in their place. Once you show them that, then you can teach whatever you want, but you can't have control if you don't even believe in yourself…”

“When I was younger Ma would sing me a song about a little boy and his dog. Maybe that's all I wish to be… someone's special boy.”

“Such a good girl, Sasha, you know how to make me proud.”

“Go on, girl, go sniff those mutts out so I can teach them a lesson in obedience.”

“No girl, go get them! Not me!”

“Now don’t stray too far, girl, can’t let them get the drop on us now…”

“Maybe we can make a new friend to play with, you’d like that, wouldn’t you, girl?”

“Pa never did like me doing my own thing, had to be just like him…to hell with that.”

“Just a stud trying to find a dam, too bad all thats here is bitches, not even worth being filled up.”

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but not chains and collars..heh.”

Spotted Incapacitated Reagent

“Look at you, submitting to me…”

“Now, see what happens when you run around without paying attention.”

“Need me to lick your wounds?”

“All bark and no bite, eh?”

“Crawling to me? How cute…”

“I don’t like playing with broken toys…”

Alerted by Noise

“Pulling on my chain.”

“Think I hear something real pretty crying…”

“Sounds like a stray in my backyard.”

“Like a bitch in heat…”

“You hear that, girl? Sounds like a new toy.”

“Tearing up my yard, I’ll show you.”

Alerted on Sight

“I thought I heard whimpering.”

“Look at you, just begging for it.”

“Why, you look like something really fun to play with…”

“You wanna pet my dog, your guess on which one I’m talking about.”

“Sasha, Geh und hol es dir!”

“There’s the rascal tearing up my property…”

Prime Time - Mother Gooseberry

“What I’d give to put a litter in her…”

“Ain’t nothing wrong with her, but that damn puppet needs to go.”

“She likes my dog...”

“Now, kids, let's listen to Mommy. You don’t want Daddy to have to step in now, do you?”

“Yeah…brush your teeth or whatever…cavaties are bad…”

Prime Time - Leland Coyle

“Officer sure does have a short fuse, would love to collar him and see what makes him tick…”

“Fuckin pig…I can’t stand his contradicting ass.”

“Touch my dog coyle and I’ll fuck a new hole in you.”

“I think if I could just get my fucking hands on him…I’d show him.”

“Ain’t nothin’ big about him except for that prod.”

Prime Time - Franco Barbi

“Somebody should have put it down a long time ago…look at it suffer.”

“Little man sure does have a bite to him.”

“I wouldn’t trust Sasha alone with him, someone's gonna get hurt…”

“Not even the officer should have a gun, let alone him…”

“Disgusting fuck, no man should want a womans milk like that…but maybe I haven’t tasted it yet…”

[no-psi-nan]

Didn't see this one coming

(Akechi x Aiura Romance)

4: What's your favorite line of dialogue?

8: Did any real people or events inspire any part of it?

Real events don't usually inspire my fics but in this case, I did have a migraine while writing a chunk of the migraine chapter lmao!

11: What do you like best about this fic?

It's so much fun to write Akechi and Aiura and their interactions!!

15: What did you learn from writing this fic?

^ I made an executive decision to swap questions 14 and 15 in both cases lol.

I actually did a lot of research for this fic because I wanted to portray Akechi with more autistic flavor! It's not the main focus of the fic, but I think Akechi's so heavily autistic-coded that it's an important part of him to explore. I'm no expert and I'm not autistic myself but I did get a sensitivity reader to make sure I wasn't doing anything completely tasteless lol, so hopefully I manage a fun and respectful portrayal there even if it's not super front and center.

Bⓔⓢⓟoke Ψitrus Selection

(Various one-shot lemons)

3: What's your favorite line of narration?

Hey. You are being evil and mean to me by making me try to pick out mostly sfw narration out of a bunch of lemons when you know damn well that I only use narration on an as-needed / ass-needed basis.

VERY WELL. I ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE.

Two rows of maids burst through each bedroom door, and Kuboyasu fights the conflicting urges to jump to his feet for a fight and to cover his naked body with the sheets. True to Saiko's word though, none of the maids seemed to have working vision even as they lay several items on the edges of Saiko's huge bed in perfect sync before turning around in unison and leaving.

For a brief moment, Kuboyasu wonders about Saiko's surprisingly inclusive hiring practices, but then Saiko is unbuttoning his fancy linen pants and Kuboyasu's mind turns towards more important things.

Yeah I had to trim a sentence off at the end, WHATEVERRRRR. It's just that bringing up Saiko's DEI hiring initiatives in the middle of a lemon is so so funny to me.

5: What part was hardest to write?

The Kuboyasu x Saiko lemon for sure. I ran out of steam partway and it sat around for ages. Also it took years to wrap my head around Nendo x Saiki but once I got the right angle, it was actually really fun and easy to write lol.

11: What do you like best about this fic?

IT'S SO FUN TO ME. Love hitting the center of a Venn diagram for hot, funny, and sweet! With a little extra serving of deranged <3

14: Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?

Yes!! I want readers to realize that there are so many different ways to have a simultaneously healthy and hot relationship, that you should have fun exploring your fantasies and seeing where they take you, and that it's fun and free to write your own deranged lemons lmfao.

GET SILLAY WITH IT!!!! ALWAYS!!!!!!

Thanks for the ask @hillbilly---man!! 💜

[ Context ] <- Still open for these btw!

[doukeshi-kun]

Hiya bean!! I love your Nikolai fics and I wanted to ask where you get your ideas from and how you always manage to execute them so perfectly??

Sometimes I get a general plot idea and specific dialogues planned out but idk how to connect it if ygwim :(

Love all of your writing's btw!!<33

hi! thank you sm! i usually get the ideas from books and works i'm reading and conversations with friends. sometimes they're also from my own head, but of course, not everything is 100% from me lol.

i wouldn't say i execute them perfectly because most of the times, when i reread the fics after they're posted, i noticed a lot of small mistakes and some plots that i could write better. i'm too fixated on trying to make it perfect but still somehow there will be room for improvement.

i also get you — not every idea is easy to write down. if i get too excited to write, the idea will be all over the place. if i feel less excited, i would feel demotivated. my solution for that is just make bullet points of your ideas in your note app/memo. just rough 'sketches' of your idea, yk. and then when you wanna write the fic, you could refer it back. i usually don't follow the note 100% tho because really, they're just rough and is there to organize me lol

thank you for the nice words <3

[zablife]

@red-riding-wood This might be my fave work of yours to date, Red! Your prose is on another level and the characterization of Tommy so perfectly drawn I'm squealing--"coldfire gaze and smoke-ring crown"!!! He's not only the ruler of the criminal underworld here, but the very depths of Hell 😈

You set an ominous tone from the start with these incredible lines: "The Devil, some say; if you’ve crossed paths with him twice, them say it’s too late for you, when the Devil’s set his sights on your soul.” The anxious fear grew inside me as you described her discomfort on stage beneath his watchful gaze. I had chills as I imagined a predator hunting his prey and it only intensified as they moved to the dressing room.

Their verbal sparring left me teetering on the edge of suspense. You've brilliantly written her vacillating emotion in response to Tommy's shape shifting. I can see why she might be lured in with his promises and deceptively angelic features. (Btw, how clever of you to add this as temptation/sin often appear in heavenly disguise 😇 )

I was cheering for her as she resists him, becoming the siren with her own hypnotizing power, but my heart sank upon her failure. Not to mention the reaction she receives from those close to her in the after math. These lines captivated me with their stunning beauty and the contrasting sting of the dialogue's realism. But she sprang back like a jackrabbit when the fabric brushed her knuckles, and she shook her head frantically, tears shaking free of her spidery lashes like dew falling from painted webs. “You can keep it,” she spoke, her tiny voice cracking in her chest. “Just stay away from me.”

There's a sense of S2 Tommy here as he walks away from his own grave that rushed back to me as she traces her fingers over the mark on her thigh. Life no longer ones own, pushed toward whatever purpose awaits and shattered at the prospect. “I will take everything.” The words of his terrifying promise are still ringing in my ears, knowing he will ask for more soon.

What a perfect set up for a series, tho this could just as easily stand by itself. It's so well crafted. You've penned something which reads like something between dark fairy tale and urban legend. Frankly, I'm obsessed 🤩 Amazing idea and flawless execution 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Devil, Devil - Part I

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x F! Reader

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

Summary: The seal of your fate, to a man falsely crowned. And to your devil, your soul was bound.

[Inspired by this request for a jazz/vaudevillian performer and the song Devil, Devil - MICK]

Warnings: Dark!Tommy, dubcon/noncon themes, noncon touching, little bit smutty but full smut in future chapters, stalking/unhealthy obsession, manipulation, blackmail, mentions of domestic abuse, blood, mild choking, mention of prostitution

WC: 5277

It was all because of that damned Peaky devil.

You cursed him for the gaudy pearls strung around your neck, for the corset that pinched your stomach so tight it would be a wonder if you’d be able to hit your lower notes. You cursed him for the waver in your stride every night you stepped onstage, for the heat beneath your skin when that frozen gaze seemed to douse you in fire, for the quiver in your tone when you sang – for you sang from your soul, and your soul trembled in the sights of the blue-eyed Devil.

He’d started arriving for your performances every night, attracting the attention of the dancers and the waitresses, the owner and the local hoodlums, but he paid no mind to any of them but you. He always sat in the second row, shadowed by the establishment’s collection of antiques. He’d light a cigarette and blow a halo for a crown, lurking in the darkness but staring at you from eyes like twin beacons, his pinewood throne framed by the black coat he never relinquished and his sharp features hallowed by the candlelit fires of Hell.

“He’s trouble, that one,” the locals had said. “Managed to turn a backwoods razor gang into an enterprise, but make no mistake; he’s got cursed blood in him. Shelby Company Limited, they call themselves now, but the Peaky Blinders they’ll always be. Thomas fuckin’ Shelby comes up from Birmingham, thinks he owns everything he sees. The Devil, some say; if you’ve crossed paths with him twice, them say it’s too late for you, when the Devil’s set his sights on your soul.”

If he’d truly set his sights on your soul, you wondered why he tormented you like this, why he never said a word but only devoured you with those frigid blue eyes, as if you were all his and you possessed not even a fraction of him. Last you’d checked, legend had it the Devil traded for souls, so what could he possibly think to grant you? The man had brought you nothing but misfortune. It was because of him that tonight you were expected to join the dancers, because your act had been slipping beneath that coldfire gaze and smoke-ring crown. Your manager claimed it was by popular customer request, but you knew better. You were a songbird, not a peacock; while the other girls of your troupe flared their feathered skirts and tasseled corsets, you were an instrument in their symphony. You got up on that stage not because you wanted to show off, but because when you sang, your soul came alive, and amidst the velvety sounds of the trombones and saxes and the lurid displays of flashing colours and lights, you were at peace.

Until he came along and ruined everything.

“I do not run a charity,” your manager had said. “I run a business. And this business, it has an image to maintain. Before our contract ends with this club, we need to show these Londoner pricks that we are not just another travelling circus with cheap whores and fake magic tricks. Nobody is questioning your ability to sing, Y/N. We just think you could be bringing a little… more.”

As you stepped onto the stage that night, and immediately felt yourself impaled by the icy hooks of that piercing gaze, you wondered if the Peaky devil also wanted a little “more”. As if you could give him anything more than what he’d already taken: your soul, your peace.

Your breath came shaky against the microphone as the lights illuminated the stage, blacking out all of the club’s customers except for one. One, whose mouth you could swear quirked into the slightest of smiles around his cigarette, whose gaze roved across your new ensemble like you were a piece of meat. Your corset already hitched your breath in your chest, and anger flared within you, frustration eating at the hollowness of your ribs as your voice came airy and light.

But this rage that had flickered to life inside you, warm and whelming like the oil lamps that cast darting shadows across the white tablecloths, it spurred a growl in your tone that surprised yet thrilled you, and as your nails curled around the microphone, your shoulders carried to the bright of the music, the dark of your tone made you feel like you were something dangerous. That perhaps a devil dwelled beneath your breast as it did the man with the eyes of death.

Feathered wings and headdresses whirled around you as the girls began their choreography, and your heart seemed to escape the heavy constriction of the corset to pound in your throat, your skull, joining the chorus of sounds that resonated deep in your bones. You sidled your hips from side to side, slowly, sensually, the way your dancer friend, Sally, had taught you, your heels beginning to click to the beat of the song.

But your flesh was burning up beneath that icy stare, and sweat prickled at your neck, and though you sang with fury, your voice still felt limited, unable to utilise the full breath of your stomach. Irritation clawed at your buzzing flesh, and your lip curled over your teeth as you attempted to belt your notes.

Damn you, Peaky bastard, you nearly breathed, hating the way his eyes seemed to gleam as you moved your body. He had no damn right to look so smug.

You tried to focus on channeling this frustration into the movements of your body and the snarl of your tone, the pearls along your chest clacking together as you twirled, your head growing dizzy as you battled for breath. It wasn’t the hoots and hollers nor the cat calls that spurred you on, but the icy hooks of the Devil’s gaze. No, he did not look at you like a piece of meat. He looked at you like you were a goddess.

Breaths coming shorter, you yanked at the laces of your corset, your irritation reaching new heights and the incense and music and cheer drowning out the voice in your head that usually kept you from doing anything stupid.

As your corset tumbled to the stage, cold air sweeping across your sweat-dappled flesh, your voice sprang free of its cage, notes pulled deep from your belly and your fury masking the tremble in your tone. The pearls pooled between your breasts, the feathers of the pasties still scratching your flesh but no longer grinding so painfully against the fabric of the corset.

The Blinder’s smirk seemed to fall, jaw clenched, bright eyes darkening and drinking you in between minacious glances at the men in the crowd who cheered, kicked at the tables, shouted obscene comments that were only half-drowned out by the smooth shrill of the trombones. Your lips pulled into a wicked grin round your teeth, and you became lost in the music as you danced and sang, not caring anymore that your breaths were short or that you didn’t hit every note just right. The look on his face made it all worth it.

And as the final notes died in your aching chest and the stage was swept by dark, and the saxes unleashed their final, wailing cry, Sally swept a sheer robe round your shoulders and ushered you from the stage and to the dressing room. Her excitement was contagious as blonde curls bounced over her bedazzled headband and she whispered praises to you, but her words seemed to muddle together as you heard, distinctly, the chanting of your name behind you like a sordid prayer.

---

The muffled notes of piano still hummed past the walls of the dressing room as you applied another coat of cherry red lipstick, a coil of smoke rising from the ash tray beside you and clouding your head as you attempted to filter out the excited chatter of the girls. Sheer gown now fitted properly around your arms, your skin had the chance to breathe without existing under the ogling eyes of the rambunctious men who had been chanting your name.

“I still can’t believe what just happened out there!” Sally’s voice cut through the throng of the rest, mostly because she had leaned over to squeal into your ear. “Did you see that gentleman at the front? His jaw practically dropped along with your corset.” She giggled, and you popped your painted lips, chasing away the smile that threatened their corner. You hadn’t noticed any man in that crowd but the blue-eyed Devil. Those twin blues were practically burned into your skull, so much so that –

You stilled, blood turning to ice in your veins and your heart freezing over in your chest. The lipstick clattered to the desk, causing Sally to jump back with a yelp that if not from her, could’ve only come from a Chihuahua.

Blue eyes stared back at you in the smudged mirror.

A sharp breath filled your lungs as the ice around your heart shattered and it began to beat again, hard, against your ribs, and your head spun from the sudden flood of cigarettes and incense. You could’ve feinted as you stood, whirling on your heel, nails splintering the wooden grain of the desk with how hard they dug in to ground yourself. Your gaze narrowed, and your heart fluttered as you found it was met with the same intensity.

The dressing room fell silent with a hush, and as Thomas Shelby sauntered in, snubbing out his cigarette in the nearest ash tray, a fearful reverence seemed to coagulate in the air, until it became so thick you could scarcely breathe.

A few of the girls darted out behind him as he drew closer to you, smirk playing at his lip and that darkness colliding with the bright of his eyes in a twisted, glittering dance. But he held out a hand before the rest could vanish, even the high-spirited Marla, who seemed dismayed but didn’t challenge him. Though not of a very tall stature, Thomas Shelby was an intimidating man, and it was evident that the name he carried made him untouchable. Your brow furrowed, teeth grinding together as you tried to work out exactly why he didn’t want the girls to leave when it seemed obvious he had come here for you and you alone. And when that icy gaze settled on you again, the bright of it glittering with mischief, and his smirk tugged higher with unmistakable pride and that insufferable smugness, you figured you were beginning to work it out. He wanted to make a statement, and whatever it was he planned, he wanted them to see.

The statement, perhaps, that your soul belonged to him. And only him.

Shoving his hands in the pockets of his trousers, he closed the gap between the two of you with an agonisingly slow stride, as if time revolved around him. The gold chain of his pocket watch glinted in the harsh lights, and you might’ve used the word “dashing” to describe his prim, collared, snow-white shirt, had you not wanted to smear the contents of the ash tray across it out of spite, or perhaps douse his black suit in some of the gold glitter the girls brushed their skin with.

Perhaps, some part of you wanted to print your lipstick along the rose-white flesh of his neck, to match his striking red tie.

Forcing such conflicted, intrusive thoughts from your reeling mind, you cocked your head, glaring at him expectantly. 

“Quite the performance.” His voice was not shrill and grating as you had anticipated, but low, rumbling like thunder over a black horizon yet pooling like soft honey between your thighs. “Tell me, songbird, do you usually win the crowd over with such provocative displays?”

Already amazed by his sheer fucking nerve, you stifled a scoff. As if you hadn’t caught him staring, lurking in the shadows of every performance.

“You tell me, Mr. Shelby,” you purred out your words, but cocked a brow in challenge. “To what do I owe such keen interest?”

The bright of his eyes glinted, and his smirk hooked his lip. “You’ve heard of me.”

“Everyone in this city knows your name. It seems to spread like some sort of plague. I’d prefer it never have crawled from the sickening bowels of the Birmingham streets, but... here it is, on my lips.” You rolled your shoulders upward, leaning against the desk, head tilted to one side.

“And yet, you wear it well.” Thomas’ gaze darted to your parted lips, snaked his tongue between his teeth as if to taste the cherry. “Don’t fret, little bird…” He spoke in a hushed baritone that still managed to reverberate through the diminishing space between you, as if the faint hiss of his whisper would mask his words from everyone but you, like clouds gathering over distant thunder. “… you’ll be saying it more often.”

A burning, whiskey-tinged breath fanned your cheeks, stirring the wisps of hair from your face. Tension mounted in the room, the girls turning into porcelain dolls as they held their breaths, but they didn’t exist outside of the threads that pulled taut between you and the Blinder.

He smelled of gunmetal, of old books. Of charcoal and wood smoke. Like blood and hellfire.

“Will I, now? Think you own these lips, is that it? Think you own my body?” You didn’t even need to take a step to bring your figure to his, your breasts brushing his chest through the sheer fabric of your robe, the chain of his pocket watch tickling your stomach.

He smelled of earth, of sacred rituals. Of frankincense and myrrh. Like dug graves and lost religion.

And like a candle, the bright of his eyes was snuffed out by the dark, and the smirk fell from sharp outlines. “You haven’t heard?” he said. “Some say I own everything the light touches…” His fingers brushed your side, the heat of his blood beneath his skin sending cold shivers along your flesh, and you cursed yourself for wishing in that moment, in which his fingers dragged reverently down the curve of your hip, that his touch would burn away the fabric between you. “Some say I own everything the light is too fearful to touch.” The pressure of his touch increased, thumb tracing your navel, and suddenly, his grasp was anything but gentle – possessive, demanding, as his fingers curled between the parting of your thighs and his nails burned against your skin. A breath hissed from your teeth and you swatted his hand away. You were surprised when he returned his thumb to his pocket, his devious smirk reappearing. Could he hear how fast your heart was beating for him, could he smell the lust that brewed beneath your flesh, could he feel the heat that had pooled like poison between your legs?

Did he know that he haunted your dreams? That you could not drift off to sleep anymore without thinking of those soft lips trailing down your sternum, of his teeth leaving bruises across your flesh?

He made you want to be worshipped, and ruined. 

“Some say you’re nothing but a Gypsy bastard.” Your voice rose, breathy and high, like a falsetto note. “A false king, with no crown.”

“But a king nonetheless.”

“A devil, the witches say. Have you come to bargain for my soul, Mr. Shelby?” Your voice dipped back into your sensual alto as you regained some vestige of control, forcing your words to rise deep from your fluttering stomach.

“Oh, I’m here for more than your soul,” he breathed, closing the sliver of a gap between the two of you again, backing your spine against the wooden desk until you could’ve sworn blood welled beneath the sheer robe. “I’m here to offer a proposal, little bird. You’re going to sing for me, at the Eden Club. I’m sure you’ve heard of it. It’s far more prestigious than this seedy place. Your pay will be tripled, and you will never know a fabric rougher than silk or taste a wine younger than a lifetime.”

Though his offer would be tempting to most anyone, you did not sing for money. Pride, it came easy to you, and you did not appreciate the condescending way in which he spoke to you, looked at you, breathed in your direction.

“I’m under contract.”

“What, this?” He chuckled, pulling the slip of paper you’d signed a year ago from the deep pocket of his trousers. The material crinkled beneath his fingers, so close you could’ve reached out and grabbed it. But you didn’t. You watched, seething, as he lowered the contract to the candle beside your lipstick, an orange tongue lapping at the corner of the ivory paper, the ink of your signature bleeding into the open flame. Out the corner of your eye, you caught a glimpse of Sally, her shoulders furling inward just as the edge of the paper did before it was swallowed by the flame, the blackened remnants of the contract smudged into the floorboards with the toe of the gang leader’s boot.

“Everyone can be bought with the right price,” he said. “Your boss’s wife, she likes diamonds.”

You shouldn’t have expected any less of your manager. Like most in the entertainment business, he was shrewd, frugal, ruled by greed. The idea of his wife wearing diamonds was laughable; Thomas must have been a bloody saint in her eyes, because the most you had ever seen that man gift her was a silver locket that had been put in lost and found at one of your past gigs. He must’ve sold you out before Thomas could even pull his mafia card. And then milked you for one last performance.

You hated them. You hated them all.

“Well, I will find new work. The crowd seems to love me,” you pointed out, recalling the jealousy you’d seen darken the Devil’s eyes as he’d watched over your performance. Butting shoulders, you moved to stalk past, but a vice grip latched round your forearm and you froze, a puff of startled air escaping your lips as your gaze swung to meet his.

“I haven’t told you my terms,” Thomas said, and if it was out of fear or that devilish itch between your legs that made your body acquiesce, you couldn’t be certain, but damn it all the same. He shoved you back against the desk, fire igniting in his icy eyes as his shoulders pressed to yours, his figure solid against your own, denoting no escape. “So long as you work for me, you will not dance for another man…” He had the courtesy, at least, of releasing those icy hooks from your soul, the sharp line of his jaw brushing a flushed cheek to let his breath pool against your neck as if whispering sweet nothings to a lover. His fingers, ghosting the pulse of your throat. A breath hissed between your teeth and your eyes flared as they dragged down the vulnerable flesh, demonstrating his strength in a squeeze at the base of your throat.

“They so much as look at you, I will personally take their eyes.” A kiss, placed to the crook of your collarbone, like a promise. His lips were as soft as you had imagined, and you half-expected his tongue to be forked like the legends, but it was supple and rounded as it wet your flesh. Your bottom lip caught in your teeth as you stifled a moan, your body betraying you in a slight rut of your hips. A chuckle rumbled against your ear; he knew what he was doing to you, and apparently the feeling was mutual, for the scarcely-clothed heat between your shivering legs brushed against a firmness in his slacks as your hips rolled forward.

“You see…” He paused to inhale your scent, to drink you down like the whiskey on his breath. “I’ve done some research… you like to move around so much because you have a husband, in Sheffield, who very much misses your company.”

The racing tides of heat that rolled beneath your flesh gave way to a cold sweat, and you shuddered, your blood turning once more to ice in your veins. Your heart, stolen from your chest, leaving your lips parted in a gasp. His fingers traced the hollow shell of your ribs, nails digging in where your heart should have been. His, you thought, wretchedly.

When he pulled back to assess your reaction, to witness the fear bloom in your eyes, the smugness was gone from his face, replaced by an intensity, a darkness that seemed to wrap its shadowy tendrils around your soul. His nose brushed yours, and you noticed, for the first time, that his face was freckled. Kisses from God, you’d heard them referred to as once, and if the breath had not been stolen from your lungs, you would’ve chuffed a laugh at the demented irony.

Dark lashes crowned the blue eyes that raked down your chest, his thumb continuing its snaking little path from your heart to the lip of your breast, slipping beneath the fabric of your robe. “A year ago, you spoke with a solicitor about his tendency to… well, overexpress his love.” A jolt rocked your body, accidentally sending your hips back against his, drawing a groan from his chest that managed to be irresistible despite the discomfort of the scar he perfectly traced with his forefinger. Pain exploded beneath the surface of your flesh, as if his fingers was made of glass, like the smashed bottle that had struck your side all those years ago. You shuddered beneath his touch, the alcohol on his breath suddenly foul, and for just a moment, the way the light reflected off his eyes betrayed a sliver of green in seemingly pure blue.

“The solicitor told me that you showed him this – this, that was not his to see. Not his to touch.” Your lashes batted beneath his furious breaths, but you dared not close them, dared not let this man turn into a ghost of your past. To your relief, his fingers retreated from your scar, only to cup your cheek in his palm. “You offered him one night in exchange for freedom, and by morning, he did not honour his word. Do you know what I did to the solicitor?”

Thighs damp with arousal, palms clammy with fear, you trembled, breaking, cracking at your seams. The splinters of the wooden desk pierced your flesh as you sought its support, feeling like your knees might buckle beneath you and somehow knowing that he would catch you, but that that would be worse than falling to the cold ground. Because he wanted you to break, wanted to be the freckled angel who caught you when you fell.

But somewhere, from the shattered remnants of your chest, festered a darkness, a thirst, a satisfaction as you imagined the bloodied face of the man who had tricked you, as you imagined his eyes turned pale, pale as death.

Your pain didn’t break you; it kept you standing, fractured but whole.

“To you, I may be the Devil, but the Devil keeps his bargains.” His thumb swept across the ghost of the kiss he’d left on your skin. “And when you work for me, I will ensure that your darling husband never bothers you again.”

You could not banish the tremble from your limbs, nor the ireful rise and fall of your chest. And when you spoke, your hate, it seemed, was not even for him but for ghosts, “You’re every bit as vile as the rumours say.”

“Oh, I’m worse.” He smiled, almost sweetly. “Much worse.” A clear-blue eye winked, before studying you so intently you wondered if he really could read your thoughts, your sordid desires. Your sins. “But I don’t see disgust in your eyes, little bird. I see intrigue.”

Breathe, you told yourself. Breathe.

You were most at ease when you sang, and in your moment of need, an old melody you’d heard once travelling west came to you, and with it, the curl of your lip into a wicked smirk.

“Cannot buy me, Devil, Devil,” you half-sang, half purred, the notes that found your voice carrying undertones so dark, it almost did not sound like your own.

And in this moment, you found power, in the way his thumb seemed to still against your jaw, in the way his eyes locked to yours, mesmerised, his tongue catching between his teeth. In this moment, at last, he was yours. In this moment, he was just a boy, lured in by a siren song. As the notes died in your throat, his eyes darted to your lips, something softer than lust forming in oceans of melted ice. Your fingers fumbled for the first drawer of the desk, stabilising yourself now on the ivory handle.

And the emotion vanished before you could make sense of it, frozen over by a wall of ice.   

“In life or in death, I will take your soul.” His teeth grazed the lobe of your ear, and his hand drifted to your scalp, sinking into the wild locks of your hair. “I will take everything.” Another hand closed around your waist, squeezing your ribs, bunching the fabric of your gown. “It is your choice, little bird. Because, you see, I made certain your husband knows of your infidelity. It’s a great dishonour, to a man of his station. And what sort of things does a man of his station do when he finds himself with a problem like you, eh?” Your chin was pointed sharply up, suspended by two fingers, your lips a hairsbreadth from his own as he stared you down.

“Now, I don’t think your friends will like to see what I’m going to do to you, little bird.” A growl grated the thunder of his tone, and he bit his lip. “I’m going to be a gentleman, and let you decide if you’d like them to give us privacy.”

And gone was the whiskey of his breath, the fire of his touch, the sharpness of his teeth. Thomas Shelby took a step back, smoothing out his waistcoat as if nothing had happened between the two of you. One of the porcelain dolls came alive, skittering back on her shaky heel to make way, but he paid no mind to her. He only awaited your command, as if trying to give you some false sense of control.

The silence that stretched between you was impossibly thick, like gasoline ready to ignite from one heated breath. You remembered to breathe, in, and out. And you began to sing.

“Clever Devil, Devil…”

His eyes narrowed, fixating so intensely on you that you were convinced nothing else existed in this moment beyond your dark melody, your cherry lips, your siren song.

Trembling, behind your back your fingers pulled gently at the drawer handle.

“How quickly do they sell their souls…”

He blinked, slow, enraptured. Yours.

Your fingers clasped the familiar stock of the 1911, flesh kissed by cold metal.

“… for the feast and the promise of gold.”

Time itself fractured; Thomas barely stirred as he watched your lips, your wrathful eyes, your brow sewn by ruthless will. He did not watch the gun you pulled on him, nor did he seem to hear the rack of the slide that split the quiet of the dressing room. 

“But Devil… that won’t be me.” Your velvety singing turned to words of steel in your throat, and you glared at him down the sights of your weapon. Only now, did he seem to take notice of it, with a fleeting, unconcerned glance at its gaping black maw. He could have turned it on you, but he didn’t. He just smiled, bright blue eyes shining down a silver-moon barrel to meet yours.

Stepping back, leisurely, fists buried in his pockets, he promised, “I’ll be back, to claim what’s mine.”

Your finger loosened from the trigger yet trembled as the sight of Thomas Shelby disappeared past the doorframe, nothing left of him but the soft thud of his dress shoes down the hall and the ghost of his burning touch on your skin, the dampness on your neck from the promise he’d made you. The shameful cling of the sheer robe to your slicked thighs, the cold sweat that sent shivers of winter, death, and all things barren along your flesh.

For one, gut-twisting moment, all eyes were on you. The suffocating festering of fear, the sickening crawl of disgust, the heart-wrenching trace of reproach all culminated in the air around you, cast to the incense and smoke by bright eyes and slacked jaws, crossed arms and furled shoulders.

And the girls began to scurry from the dressing room, skirts and dresses and tassels streaming behind them like streaks of lightning that followed the rumble of the storm, like rivulets of rain chased by the hurricane.

Marla was among the last to leave, her eyes wary and wild and a sneer curling her lip as her eyes traced up and down your trembling form. Only when she left did you lower your gun, sliding the hammer back in place.

That left two. Sally, and the woman who claimed herself a witch.

“I’m sorry…” you breathed, not knowing what to say. “I’m sorry you had to witness that, I – I had no idea that was going to happen.” Shifting your attention fully to your friend, you reached a tentative hand for Sally, as if to ease her anxiety. Poor thing was shaking like a furled leaf and quiet tears streaked the freckles of her heart-shaped face.

She flinched away, and your heart clenched, hand withdrawing. You set aside your gun, hoping that might settle her nerves. “At least, let me give you this back…” you untied the bedazzled choker from your neck. “It looks like this was our last performance together. Thank you, for lending me it.”

But she sprang back like a jackrabbit when the fabric brushed her knuckles, and she shook her head frantically, tears shaking free of her spidery lashes like dew falling from painted webs. “You can keep it,” she spoke, her tiny voice cracking in her chest. “Just stay away from me.”

Something bitter worked its way into the fracture of your chest, the cruel fist of rejection squeezing the remnants of your shattered heart tight. Your fist curled, hard, around the choker, so hard that when you opened it, the jewels had left red impressions on your palm, and your thanks turned to bitter ash on your tongue as the laces of the choker slipped between your fingers.

The witch, Clementine, watched you from dark eyes always shrouded in an enigma, but today, held the slight trace of unease. A foreboding weight sunk her shoulders, and when she spoke, the raspy tones of her voice were those of lost souls, crying from strangled throats to warn you of something truly grave on the horizon,

“You’re marked. You’re marked by the Devil, you are, girl.”

Your brow furrowed, and the chime of her jangling bracelets seemed to mock you like laughter as she pointed a hooked claw to your loins.

Pawing aside the fabric of your robe, your fingers swiped across the nail marks Thomas had left along your inner thigh, wrathful and red and weeping. Your fingers came away with a veneer of blood, pooling in the rings of your skin like a wax seal.

The seal of your fate, to a man falsely crowned.

And to your devil, your soul was bound.

Part II coming soon!

MASTERLIST

Please let me know if you would like to be added/removed to any of my taglists and notified of new works!

Taglist: @emotionalcadaver @zablife @shelbydelrey @look-at-the-soul @brummiereader @mrkdvidal1989 @fiercelittlemouse @ohwellthatslifesstuff @minaethrym

[saucerfulofsins]

Hey Nate! I’ve actually been wanting to ask you for awhile what your favorite 1988 fics are, or ones that have stayed with you the most. I’ve read (almost) all of it, most of it multiple times, but I’d love to hear what resonates with you. (You continue to be included in the re-read category btw) Sorry about your neighbors, hope your presentation went well and you can get some rest this weekend! 💕💕

Hey! Thank you for your ask and letting me know you keep rereading my fics! <3 The presentation went well, I think, although it's always difficult to know what the professor thinks (I know from a different course he can be strict, but we haven't had a grade by him yet this yr so idk). My neighbours are continuous twats :')

As for my recs! I wanna preface this list by saying it is very incomplete. I’ve taken a random sampling of fics I enjoyed, and you won’t really find anything from the past year here because the only stuff I’ve read was in a private document with @t-eminence (which I would recommend if it was public but it isn’t, so all I can say about that is that it sucks to be you 🤭 🤭)

Also, there’s no particular order to these fics, it’s just a small selection of fics I’ve enjoyed reading!

Banned by Vitula (Teen and Up, 10k)

Let’s start with this one. I’ll confess, I’m not usually a fan of chatfic/phone-fic which I remember made me apprehensive when I began reading it, but I shouldn’t have! I really enjoyed the dynamic of Jon and Pat here, how their respective histories (or in Jonny’s case, alternate history) tie into real live events, and how the story manages to offer substance while still being a light-hearted read!

All this feels strange and untrue by clayisforgirls (Explicit, 50k)

Amnesia fic, another one of those tropes that is hit or miss for me. Again, the substance in this fic and the use of Patrick’s amnesia to explore his feelings for Jonny is so good! I don’t really want to say too much about the plot in case you haven’t read it, but I really enjoyed the pacing—especially of the first couple of chapters.

Muscle stim by Sahiya (Explicit, 7,5k)

Patrick’s a hockey player, Jon his physio. Substance, bla bla, you know the deal. I just love it when there’s some sense of explanation for one of them not being a hockey player (and I’m just now realizing that two of the fics I chose have Jonnybe that person, sorry Jon!!). Then again, I also love the idea of Jonny touching Patrick for ~purely professional reasons and Patrick being a little less professional about it. The dialogue is fun, the pacing is good, and I think it’s the perfect length for a bedtime story when you still need to unwind a little!

Sonoran by Allthebros (Teen and Up, 2k)

A lovely vignette of 1988 in (fresh) retirement. I think ATB really hit the spot here describing Arizona, it’s pretty poetic without the language veering into obnoxious (looking at you, Oscar Wilde). I really like how the setting ties in with Jon and Pat’s changing relationship here, and how those are observations Patrick makes.

Patrick and the Lucky Potato by Bittersweet (General, 700 words)

100% crack. 100% fun. Sometimes a story doesn’t have to be deep, long, or serious—cause this is none of that and yet it never fails to make me smile 😊 I don’t really have much else to say!

I wanna rock the RPMs between the reds and greens by liketheroad (Not Rated, 4k)

1988 through David’s eyes. I do really enjoy reading outsider POVs, because they tend to capture moments that are different from pairing POVs both between the pairing and how the pairing affects the people around them—and they can be so, so, so good because of that. This is an amazing example. I really like how David comes to terms with whatever-it-is Jon and Pat have, but also his conflicted feelings towards Patrick (and by extension, Jonny) throughout. Amazing concept, and an amazing execution.

The Purity Myth by downjune (Mature, 20k)

A really wonderful magical realism AU. I don’t always go for the anthropomorphic stuff, I’m not a huge fan of the wolf ‘verses going on in the fandom, but when I read this one it did hit me just right (although I still have to be in a specific mood for it). I like how vague some of the descriptions were, but also how it brought elements that were unique to me to the fic regarding the magical powers, how dragons and unicorns etc. are described, and so on. And, of course, how all of that ties in to Jon and Pat, their personalities, and their burgeoning relationship.

In Close by demotu (Explicit, 2,5k)

…you know how I said Muscle stim was a fantastic bedtime story to wind down with? This is my favourite bedtime story. I tried not to include it. I know I’ve recommended it before. Probably multiple times. I know demotu is a major name in the fandom, and has some really famous long form fics… but this? This is as perfect as it gets. I feel like this is so short and sweet, and yet it encapsulates everything 1988 is to me, the hesitancy and the simultaneous comfort, the kind of … communication that doesn’t require words, even if it’s never made explicit in the fic that that’s what’s going on, them having this kind of awareness of each other, and the thousands of extra words being told between the lines here. Also, it’s definitely on my list of “hottest make-out sessions in fics.”

On the Line by orphan_account (Explicit, 26k)

To close… a less serious fic, and one I haven’t reread as often as some of the other works on the list. Still, it’s a fun read, I like how Jon gets serious about wooing Patrick right from the start, even if he only finds out Pat’s into him by chance. They’re so wonderfully, charmingly them in this fic, absolute idiots, and that is all I sometimes want honestly. Less drama, more stupidity! (…no that’s a lie, I also love the drama).

[dlrconlicense]

So I've gone and seen Shang Chi and the Legend of Ten Rings. Here are some random thoughts I had about the film.

(Spoilers below)

1) They had to have done the opening arrow scene on purpose and I actually busted out in a laugh. So lemme explain, like about circa 15 years ago, the "great" director Zhang Yimou had his foray into the martial arts genre with a little film called "Hero", starring your Mr. Wen Wu, Tony Leung Chiu-Wai (I always say his Chinese name because a) like Wen Wu said your name is sacred, b) there are two great Tony Leungs in HK Entertainment). So anyhoo, in that film there was an incredibly ridiculous scene where an entire army shoots like thousands of arrows at Jet Li's character to execute him. I remember one of the student groups back in college had held a screening of it (which basically is a bunch of us cramped inside a classroom showing a bootleg copy on the projector) and the entire lot of us busted out laughing.

Tony wasn't gonna die from arrows like Jet, he yeeted them away.

2) I think in a circle of Asian American friends, we knew a Shaun-like character, we all knew a Katy, we all have one of THOSE lawyer friends.

3) I actually loved the bus fight scene....and yeah that sounds about right in regards to San Fran public transport lol.

4) Why was Wong hustling for money? He clearly had a hand in fixing matches with Abomination. Was he investigating the Xu siblings and was undercover? Or they really needed money to fix the roof. Actually the Wong scene was rather...unnecessary somehow.

5) I love that this film's main character doesn't fall in to the trap of Asian film main leads...typical good at everything, classically good looking (i.e pasty a la kdrama/c-dramas), RICH by legacy. Shaun running from legacy actually makes him rather relatable in a way. He found his own path eventually to take up his mantle.

6) When I saw the trailer, I had mistook Xialing for the actress who played her mom. The actress, Fala Chen, had an extremely similar bob in one of my favorite TV series from HK. You could see similarities between Meng'er and Fala, so kudos to casting for that.

7) Speaking of Fala, I've always thought that she was infinitely wasted in the later years at her job in the TV station in HK. It was crap scripts one after the other. She was by far the most natural of the actresses that started around the same time, yet she was probably the most criticized. When I saw that she quit her job and further her career by going to Julliard, I thought good for her and what a badass.

8) God, why Ronny Chieng? Just effing why him?!

9) Katy is the best friend you wish you had. Literally.

10) So speaking as a trilingual (native Cantonese speaker, English and fluent in Mandarin), I think the part that really threw off a bit was the Chinese. I've always found Chinese dialogue that pops up in Hollywood productions a bit awkward and clunky. The interchange between English and Mandarin Chinese in this definitely was not awkward. It actually does sound like how my family would communicate at times. While I don't find the dialogue an issue, I did find Tony's Mandarin throws me off while we have other characters speak perfect Mandarin. Just let the man speak Cantonese lol. (Simu's was very typical ABC/CBC to be fair and come to think of it, this is the first time I've heard Fala act in Mandarin Chinese, her self-taught Canto is extremely good btw).

11) The action scenes were awesome, although the dragon fight was a bit dizzying.

12) So basically the final battle is like Mortal Kombat, The Hobbit movie, and Raya all rolled into one.

13) I am glad they don't overuse "honor" in this. There is no honor to defend in this entire family. In fact, speaking as a Chinese person, we don't "defend honor" like we eat rice. We either choose to live honorably like any other folks or just do our own thing.

14) Speaking of eating rice, I completely lost my shit when Wen Wu went to Guang Bo (Mr. Landlord Yuen Wah!) and said a common telling off in Chinese "I've eaten more salt than you've ate rice young man, so you better speak to me with more respect." He's seen more shit than you. I keep on forgetting Wen Wu is like thousands of years old.

15) Tony is very good looking for a thousand years old.

16) During the battle between father and son, I kept on thinking....are those rings from a similar meteor like in Wakanda? Meaning they are Vibranium?

17) So definitely love and grief are the main themes of this new era in the MCU. Wenwu's motivations definitely is like the Strange episode of "What If..." His family was his everything and his weakness.

18) When Shang Chi looked at Katy like THAT, I very audibly said "No!" in the theater. Why can't they just be besties for life? I'm telling you, BroTP for life. It's not even about making the Asian male lead asexual. Why can't a guy and a girl can be ride and die like that.

19) Ok...thank you Bruce for the answer to my questions about the rings.

20) God I wanna hang out with Wong.

21) Is Xialing rebuilding the Ten Rings and why do I have a feeling she is going to have ties to Sharon's Power Broker?

Final thought: A very fun, very solid entry into MCU. I went in with very low expectations and definitely found myself enjoying it more than I thought I would. I definitely will rewatch this film when it comes out on streaming. I actually wouldn't mind seeing more of Shaun and Katy.

P.S. Has anyone told Trevor that Liverpool won the League one year?

[solarishashernoseinabook]

[Transcript: The adolescent Japanese girl purported to be the program director gave me a dimply smile. Her deep brown eyes twinkled as she said, "I am so sorry, Ms. Marroy, but the next training session will not be held until the third week in August. I hope to see you then. Now if you will be so kind as to excise me, I must return some phone calls."

"If you want me to read a manual and discuss the material, I will do so, although it's a waste of time for both of us." I kept my voice modulated and free of frustration, although I was damned if I was going to twinkle at her. "I speak English. Your students want to learn to speak English. I fail to see the need for eight hours of training to grasp the concept."

"It's our policy."

This was the third round of the same dialogue. Keiko Sakamoto, as her nameplate claimed, had feinted and dodged my well-presented arguments with "our policy." I felt as if I were at the White House, trying to persuade the secretary of state to abandon the prevailing foreign policy. My chances in either situation fell between wretched and nil. /end]

Hooooo boy. Lemme count the terrible things in this half-page.

Phonetically spelling out Keiko's accent. Only for Claire Malloy's name, though. I can't decide if being inconsistent about this is better or worse than committing to it, but either way it's racist.

Naturally this adult woman is so small and slight she looks like a child. This is such a common stereotype of East Asian women that surely Hess must have realised its better to avoid it.

Clearly Claire is so important that it's unreasonable to treat her the same as everybody else! (sarcasm) Rules only apply to ordinary people, and Claire absolutely needs to make sure her daughter doesn't have to face the crushing weight of eight hours of volunteer work a week for the next six to eight weeks.

Btw, Claire later refers to herself mockingly as "Ms. Marroy" in narration, for an added dash of racism

Anyway. Claire leaves Keiko's office and comes across another teacher at the centre where the English lessons will be taking place. This turns out to be Leslie Barnes, who had given the training session earlier. Hoping to get somewhere with her, Claire explains the very reasonable (sarcasm) problem Caron's having, which is that Caron is going to be forced to interact with people who don't speak perfect English as part of this course to teach them how to speak English. Leslie responds:

[Transcript: "All of their students speak some English, as I told them. However, if they want to come here this afternoon, Keiko can help them make the calls and set up their schedules. I have another class in a few minutes. Nice to meet you, Ms. Malloy." She went into a corner office and closed the door. I hoped her residual scars from the training session had not driven her to drink in the middle of the morning. /end]

Oh, how nice! Keiko, who's extremely busy, will handle the calls for Caron and Inez. Now they no longer have to face the mortifying ordeal of interacting with their own students, and can proceed to work a grueling one hour a day until August.

Also: wow is Claire ever a petty bitch. I didn't cut out context from this, by the way - that snide comment about drinking comes completely out of nowhere.

Having gotten nowhere with Leslie, Claire leaves the centre and ends up in conversation with someone else. Once again, she's rude about it.

[Transcript: "It's nice to meet you, Sonya. I came by to apply to be a tutor. It appears I'll have to wait for the next training session." I opened my car door, but the subtly escaped her.

"Keiko mentioned it. She'd love to make an exception in your case, but our executive director is adamant about sticking to out policy. We have to be certain that our tutors are committed. Some of them sign up, but then lose interest and abandon their students." She frowned faintly and then brightened. "We'd love to have you volunteer in some other capacity. You're so well-known and respected in Farberville. Having you involved in the FLC would enhance our reputation in the community, as well as in the state organization. You're so intelligent and articulate."

I enjoy flattery, but she was shoveling it on. "If you have a bake sale, let me know and I'll whip up a batch of profiteroles au chocolat." I waved as I got in my car and drove away. /end]

Keep this in your back pocket for now, we'll come back to it

[Transcript: Volunteering at the public library was not an option; everything was computerized except me. I pulled out the telephone directory and found a list of organizations under the heading "Social Services." Safety Net, the battered women's shelter, declined my offer and suggested that I send a check. The Red Cross suggested that I take a class in first aid. /end]

Somewhere in the intervening half-page, Claire's motivation shifted from wanting to help her daughter dodge responsibilities to just wanting to volunteer in general so she van feel useful. Okay, fair. Except that she seems positively insulted at the idea that training might be required for anything she might want to do. She also apparently hasn't stepped in a library ever, because she seems to think books are catalogued, circulated, and shelved by robots. Believe me when I say it would be amazing if libraries had enough funding for that

Solaris reads Murder as a Second Language, by Joan Hess (2013)

So yeah, this was the book I made the poll about. As this is a murder mystery I'm liveblogging, it's very likely I'll spoil the killer for you. Block the tag "solaris reads murder as a second language" if you don't want spoilers.

Murder as a Second Language is the 19th book in the Claire Malloy Mysteries and the first book by Joan Hess I've read. Last year I listened to about 30 minutes of the audiobook before DNF'ing it because of how trashy the first couple chapters were. Well, now I'm back, and we're going to see how bad the rest of it is.

MAASL picks up shortly after our main character Claire, long-time local business owner, has married Deputy Chief Peter Rosen, and just before she packs her daughter Caron off to college. To get into the college she wants, Caron has to spend the summer doing volunteer work, and Claire - now faced with the possibility of spare time - decides to volunteer as well. When a murder happens in town, Claire and Peter team up to solve the case.

Well, let's see what I've gotten myself into...

[Transcript: "Inez found thsi really cool place where we can volunteer to teach English as a second language to foreigners. It's like four hours a week, and we arrange our own schedules. I figure that if we're there from eleven to noon, we'll have plenty of time to go to the lake and the mall." /end]

Just setting up some background here. Caron has picked fairly easy volunteer work that gives her plenty of time to still enjoy summer, and only really has to devote 40 odd hours to it. As far as last-minute requirements to get into college go, Caron has it pretty damn easy.

Or maybe not. See, she has to attend a training session and...

[Transcript: "Yeah," Caron muttered. "The training session was interminable. The teacher basically read aloud from the manual while we followed along, like we were illiterate. We broke for pizza and then listened to her drone on for another four hours. After that, the executive director, some pompous guy named Gregory Whistler, came in and thanked us for volunteering. I was so thrilled that I almost woke up."

"Then it got worse," Inez said. "The program director, who's Japanese and looks like she's a teenager, told us that because of the shortage of volunteers in the summer we would each get four students - and meet with them twice a week for an hour."

"For a total of Eight Hours." Caron's sigh evolved into an agonized moan. "We have to call them and find a time that's mutually convenient. It could be six in the morning or four in the afternoon. We may never make it to the lake." /end]

How heartbreaking! Caron, on the cusp of adulthood, faces a fraction of the responsibilities she will face in a year when she goes off to college! Her life is truly difficult (sarcasm)

[Transcript: "And I," Caron said, rolling her eyes, "have to tutor an old lady from Poland, a Chinese man, an Iranian woman, and a woman from Russia. How am I supposed to call them on the phone? They don't speak English. Like I speak Polish, Chinese, Russian, and whatever they speak in Iran. This is a nightmare, and I think we ought to just quit now. I say we set up a lemonade stand and donate the proceeds to some charity." /end]

And it gets worse (heavy sarcasm)! Did you know that people who need to learn English as a second language don't speak English perfectly? Caron is right to throw away the chance to go to a good college over this (heavy sarcasm)

Anyway, all is saved, because Claire promises to volunteer as well and take some of their students off their hands so Caron doesn't give up and go to the local community college instead. Personally I'd say a good parent would make their child take responsibility for themselves, but what do I know. This post is getting long, so check the reblogs for how well that works out for everyone

[kitkatopinions]

I actually saw a comment saying something in the lines of your most recent post about CRWBY having a plan & also ridiculing & mocking everyone that thinks they can do better than MKEK. 🙄

So yeah, first of all, I don't know why it's considered an end-all argument to say that MKEK had a plan from the start. The only ways it impacts the perception of them is in a negative way like I said, and it just isn't believable with the product they churn out. But it's also such a pointless sentiment. If I say "I don't like the way they did James Ironwood's fall to villainy," the argument "well they always wanted him to be bad" doesn't matter at all to the conversation about whether or not it was done well. Most things in RWBY have the problem of execution, the writing is bad, the set up isn't enough, the dialogue is stilted and awkward, things either move at a snails pace or at lightning speed, the writers don't know what to do with their characters, etc. Which, btw, I've heard that there are fans that are complaining that RWDE posters like the concepts of RWBY but not the execution now and that that means we're just angry that the things we wanted didn't happen. Which is hilarious to me, because I thought that the problem was that we were bashing the ideas of RWBY instead of focusing on details like execution and that that was proof of the fact that we were just mad our headcanons didn't happen. So that's just further proof that there's literally nothing critics can do or say to be considered a 'good RWBY critic' and toxic RWBY fans just want to twist everything we say or do into something they can make fun of so they can pretend RWBY is perfect.

But! Back on track, this is gonna be a long post under the keep reading. Lately I can't write anything to be short, sweet, and to the point. XD More RWDE underneath, obviously.

I think first of all that there's this weird thing toxic RWBY fans do, where they take any re-write to be 'a conceited attempt to pretend you're better than the writers,' which often isn't the case. I feel like only fics or stories actually labeled 'fix its' should be even sort of seen under this light. And even then, most people I've seen recognize that they have a lot of time to think things through with no deadlines, have some distance from projects, and are building off of someone else's creation when they make fix-its, and therefore it can't properly be used to compare whether or not someone is a 'better' writer or creator than MKEK.

What people can compare to MKEK in terms of writing/creating are their own works, their own created projects. Whether that's published, professional works, or original stories published on AO3 or FictionPress. But the bar for being 'better than MKEK' in that regard is very low. I myself have never managed to make anything of my own enough to even publish it on AO3, despite my wide variety of concepts and characters that I love. I'm not very good at writing on my own (I mostly write fan fictions with my sisters,) and I've rarely completed a fan fiction, and even then, I get insecure about publishing my work even on AO3. So while I consider myself pretty good at understanding characters and very good at concept creation, I can't know if I would make a better product than MKEK if I had the money, resources, and time right now to make something of my concepts. But that doesn't make me unequipped to spot some ways that MKEK has faltered and gone wrong. To suggest that people who have never *made an animated seires* are unequipped to criticize or point out flaws in one is basically like watching someone eat a hard and moldy cake and then yelling at them when they complain because they're not a trained chef and they've never owned a bakery. It doesn't take a genius to realize that RWBY's writing is flawed and the writers don't know what they're doing. Then when the unsatisfied customer says they're just gonna make the same kind of cake only without the mold and make it soft, it's "oh so now you think you're a better baker, huh? You can't make their cake any better, how dare you remove that mold!" And then if the baker makes a mistake, the person yelling at them promptly ignores that the original cake can be used as a stepstool due to how hard it is and that it's practically green with mold , and laugh about how the unexperienced baker undercooked their cake so now it's too soft in the middle. And once again, this allegory...

Point being 1. Very few people are actually this conceited image of someone pretending to be God's gift to writers because they're making a RWBY re-write. 2. You kind of can't judge whether or not you're actually better than MKEK in writing by comparing a re-write or fix-it to the OG product, holding up your own original works is better. 3. You don't have to be a writer to know that MKEK's writing is bad and does suck, and therefore the bar for 'what's better than MKEK' is very low. Disney Channel's Lemonade Mouth is better writing than MKEK. Sonic Adventure Director's Cut is better writing than MKEK. Wreck It Ralph 2: Ralph Breaks the Internet... Might actually be worse.

However, you can easily know whether or not you're better than MKEK in terms of *not being offensive and writing in an inclusive way.* Which is really not hard to do. "I'm actually going to include confirmed gay characters in the main cast of my story." Congrats, you're better at rep than MKEK is. "I'm going to make sure that my LGBTQ+ inclusion isn't wholly centered around queer women, I'm going to have queer women, queer men, and non-binary rep." Congrats, you're better at rep than MKEK is. "I'm going to not brutalize one of the only two people of color in the main cast, and I'm going to make sure that I don't portray the other as being bad for thinking things that his white friends don't, and needing to change." Congrats, you're better at rep than MKEK is. "I'm going to have a main character become disabled and actually put work into writing her recovery and not have her dismiss her prosthetic as 'just extra' and not a part of her. And I'm not going to depict disabilities in other people as monstrous signs of a loss of humanity that signals their downfall into cruelty." Congrats, you're better at rep than MKEK. Etc. Etc. It really isn't hard at all to beat out MKEK in terms of rep, considering they're behind the curve.

Funnily enough, when I was around eighteen-to-twenty two, I had a concept of a post-apocalyptic anime style cartoon centering a Very Special girl who joins the army/police equivalent program in the world and has adventures with her group of friends including a somewhat-Spirit-Albarn based mentor character and a fantasy-equivalent fake racism plot. This was before I had ever done more than watched and disliked the first two episodes of RWBY, having turned it off because it read like a low-budget attempt at a Disney channel storyline based show. And I was stupid and indoctrinated at the time and I'm so glad that I never did do anything with it, because I would've churned out a horrible and much more offensive than I realized product. But! Do you know what my fake-racism plot plan included? The oppressed people fighting the government for their rights, and the heroes fighting alongside them instead of fighting against them, and taking down the corrupt government officials who resisted that. Even my terrible past ideas that I'm embarrassed of now that I definitely wouldn't do now aren't as bad or as offensive as the product MKEK gave us. So I think it's ridiculous when people say things like 'you guys are making fix-its and re-writes? So you think you're better than MKEK?' In terms of writing, maybe not, but at the same time

But! On that note, I do want to caution people with intent to write re-writes... I wouldn't call them 'fix-its' if you're gonna go too off script with what you do. Admittedly, it's hard to write a RWBY fix-it without going off script specifically when it comes to the Faunus/White Fang stuff, and Adam specifically, because all of that was one big mess. But generally speaking, if you go off script in terms of ships, basic plot points, excluding characters or keeping them around when they weren't in the OG, changing too much in terms of how the world works or how the dynamics are supposed to work, you get into 'this is what I wish happened' territory. That's not a fix it, that's an AU, a re-write, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. But for instance, say someone is writing a RWBY fix-it and they decide that instead of fixing Bumbleby as a relationship, establishing it earlier on to let the burn simmer, making them healthier or having them work through some of the unhealthy aspects of their relationship... They just scrap it completely and go with BlackSun and Freezerburn. That's not a real fix-it, that does feel like someone who is writing a version of RWBY that suits them better. If it doesn't need to be changed in order to be a good concept, then changing it is a wish fulfillment, not a 'fix.' Things like established ships, character deaths, the characters leaving Beacon, and even Ironwood turning evil are all not bad ideas, they're just very badly done.

[red-sector-rivendell]

media reccs? 👀 since apparently you are a man of good taste?

Wow thank you 😏 I have a masterlist of movies that have changed me I often recommend to people, I'll just copy and paste here with quick synopses lol, it's kinda long. I'm not super great at writing synopses tho so bear with me

Dead Poets Society (1989)

One of my favorite movies of all time and a total classic. It's about a group of boys at a strict boarding school who are inspired by their new English teacher (played by Robin Williams) to think for themselves and chase their dreams. This movie literally changed my life lol

Quadrophenia (1979)

This movie is based off of the story behind the concept album by The Who of the same name. It follow the life of a young man named Jimmy who is in a gang called the Mods. Theres this huge gang war between them and the Rockers (I think that's their name, it's been a while since i watched it) and Jimmy questions his beliefs about coming-of-age and his values in life throughout the film

Cabaret (1972)

Based off of the Broadway musical of the same name, this movie is about a British man who moves to Germany during the beginning of the rise of Nazis. He meets a woman who basically turns his world upside down, and it follows their love affair and sexuality and anti-semitism, and it's hilarious and heart wrenching and a beautiful movie

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

This is a super trippy romance film. Basically in the universe of this movie, theres a technology that is developed that can delete memories of an entire person from your mind while you are in a dream-like state, and the main character of this movie (played by Jim Carrey) decides to undergo the procedure after a bad breakup. Its soooo good I highly recommend this movie

It's Such a Beautiful Day (2012)

This is an animated film about a man named Bill who is going through brain cancer. Its told from the perspective of an unnamed narrator essentially communicating everything Bill sees, hears, and experiences. This is the movie that got me into film and it is still a complete masterpiece and one of the most beautiful movies I've ever seen

The Dirties (2013)

Loved this one a lot back in high school, it's been a while since I watched it. This is a film made in Canada about a high schooler named Matt Johnson and his friend Owen who decide to make a short film for their class about them killing the gang at their school that bullies them, and things take a dark turn. It's a hilarious movie and hits pretty close to home for me in a lot of ways haha

Logan's Run (1976)

Great movie, pretty cheesy though so be warned. This is based off a book with the same name, and it takes place in the future where most of humanity is wiped out except for a small society that lives under a domed structure. No one is allowed to leave the dome, and to control overpopulation, no one is allowed to live past the age of 30. It's really bizarre but I love this movie

Donnie Darko (2001)

Pretty sure this was Jake Gyllenhaal's first big hit when he was super young (I think he was like 19 in this movie but I'm not sure) basically about this kid, Donnie Darko, who is somewhat schizophrenic and has a habit of sleepwalking. After one particular incident he has a near-death experience and starts seeing a man in a bunny costume everywhere who makes him do weird stuff. Another pretty trippy movie with a crazy ending

American Psycho (2000)

Honestly I'm sure a few on this list you've probably seen (most likely this one included) but I didnt wanna leave any out because they're all so good. If you haven't seen this, it's about a Wall Street executive named Patrick Bateman who is a materialistic phony by day and a serial killer by night. I tried to read the book but the inner dialogue was really hard to get through lmao. Awesome movie though huge recommend.

Clockwork Orange (1971)

Yet another trippy one. And fuck it's been a long time since I've seen it so I might get some stuff wrong here. But it's basically about this serial rapist guy who hangs out with this group of goons and they all like to go beat up homeless people and shit, but the main character gets captured and has to go through reformation therapy to make him a better person. It's an extremely bizarre movie but soooo good and kind of hilarious lol

Creep (2014)

Of course this is on my list haha. If you haven't seen it yet, it's a horror movie about this freelance film guy who answers an ad on craigslist to help a man with cancer film a movie for his unborn son. And shit gets weird real fast. One of my favorite horror movies ever, I wouldnt say it's super scary but it's fun as fuck

Hereditary (2018)

If I'm being honest, I don't like a lot of big movies made in super recent years and especially not horror movies (mostly because they're all cheap cash grabs with no substance) but this one is an exception for me. Hereditary is fucking masterful in my opinion, legitimately creepy as hell and well-produced and well written. To put the plot as vaguely as possible without spoiling anything, it's about a family (mostly the mother) who go through some crazy fucked up shit. That's literally all I can say without giving anything away. Super good flick, big recommend

Gattaca (1997)

This list isn't in any particular order, and I love all these movies to death, but if I had to rank them this would probably be on the lower end. It's not a bad movie, it's still great but it's just not as life-changing as the other ones lmao. This takes place in the future where genetic modifications have progressed to a point where you can modify your unborn child's DNA to have the perfect baby. This has led to, essentially racial bias against those who never had that procedure when they were born. The main character was not one of these "special" children, but he wants an extremely prestigious job which requires that of the employee. Through the film, he is trying to fake his identity and fool the company into thinking he is one of these perfect people. Still a great film

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998)

Johnny Depp, man, he is something else. I LOVE this movie. Based off a true story and a book written by the man who lived it, Hunter S. Thompson, this follows the adventure of the writer and his attorney as they go on a drugged-out, psychedelic romp through Las Vegas with the original intention being to cover a story on a motorcycle race, but things go off the rails as they both terrorize the entire city in a way. Just a fun ride the whole way, a great movie

The Truman Show (1998)

God I'm realizing this list is long as fuck. Don't watch all of these movies, it might take you a lifetime lmao. Anyway, this is a classic Jim Carrey movie and another one you've probably seen. But again, if you haven't, this movie is about a man whose entire life has been fabricated and shot for television without him knowing. Super great, super moving, fantastic film 10 outta 10 I gotta wrap this shit up

A Scanner Darkly (2006)

A lesser known Keanu Reeves movie, but fuck I wish more people have seen this. This is one of my favorite movies of all time, and it's based off a book which is just as amazing. This movie takes place in the near future, where facial recognition technology has progressed wayyy too far, and drugs have gotten to the point of no return. The plot follows a detective who is undercover in a junkie house trying to figure out who is the top of the drug dealing totem pole, but ends up wrapped in the junkie lifestyle a little too deeply. Seriously, I recommend this movie to everyone who asks, it's so damn good

Fight Club (1999)

Another popular one. If you havent seen it, it's based off a book by Chuck Palahniuk following the story of a man (the main character actually doesnt have a name lol) who meets a guy named Tyler Durden who changes his entire perspective on how the world works. They start an underground boxing club together to help themselves and other men blow off steam and get away from the capitalist consumer-centric lifestyle they are forced into. Big twist at the end, great movie five stars on yelp

Harold and Maude (1971)

This is a weird one. Gotta say. It's about a guy in his 20s who meets an old woman at a funeral and falls in love with her. Sounds pretty ok at face value but theres a lot of really strange subplots and a huuuuge twist at the end (one of the subplots being the guy compulsively fakes his suicide to get his mother's attention) big recommend

Polyester (1981)

This one I cant even explain u just have to watch it its fucking bizarre

Fargo (1996)

Ok lightning round on the synopses, this movie is about a man who wants to commit fraud by hiring guys to kidnap his wife so her father can pay them ransom and instead the husband gets the money but everything goes wrong it's really good

Bad Times at the El Royale (2018)

Another modern movie I actually like, last time I watched this I was on shrooms and it was crazy but it's about this hotel right on the border of california and (Nevada I think?) And all these weird people are staying at it and there are twists at every turn and chris hemsworth is a cult leader in it its great

Memento (2000)

GREAT MOVIE GOD PLEASE WATCH THIS ONE it's about a man who develops short term memory loss after witnessing the rape and murder of his wife AND WHEN I SAY THERE ARE TWISTS LIKE EVERY TEN MINUTES I MEAN IT. The film is chronologically backwards, in that the first scene takes place at the end of the story and works back from there in increments of like 5 minutes. Basically each scene is a segment of time that this guy remembers before his memory loss kicks in and he forgets and FUCK it's so good please god watch it

Almost Famous (2000)

This is another one that would probably be low on my ranking but still a great and fun movie, it's about this kid that wants to write articles about rock stars for the rolling stone (based off a true story btw) and he ends up running away to go ride on a tour bus with some band and gets into all types of shenanigans and its great and sad

Parasite (2019)

Another modern movie I love, fuck this is getting too long lmao. Poor family wants to make money and they hatch a scheme to pretend to be bougie and work for this rich family but shit gets weird and everything goes wrong and it's so good (also literally the only film ever that made me speechless afterwards)

Pulp Fiction (1994)

Pretty much lives up to the hype, I totally forgot the plot but it's pretty damn good I remember that lmao

The Warriors (1979)

Fun movie, theres a bunch of teen gangs in New York and the leader of all of em is like "hey we should rally all the gangs together and fuck up the cops so we can rule this city" but then he gets shot by someone in the crowd and the gang The Warriors gets blamed so the whole movie is them running from all the other gangs so they can get back to home base and it's just an all around fun time movie

12 Monkeys (1995)

THIS MOVJE IS CRAZY it takes place in the future where a virus has almost completely wiped humans off the face of the earth so these scientists send this guy back in time to figure out where it came from so they can stop it from ever happening but obviously everything goes wrong and yadda yadda yadda it's amazing

Waking Life (2001)

Gonna preface this by saying this film is definitely not for entertainment, it's kind of an arthouse-type flick. It's the type of movie you have to think really really hard about to watch. The basic plot is the main character is stuck inside his own lucid dream, and is walking around listening to all these characters in his dream talk to him about, idk like the meaning of life and consciousness and shit. It's really good if you're in the mood for that type of thing.

Okay I'm finally done, you probably didnt expect this but I've been meaning to put my movie recommendations on this blog anyway haha. I deleted some just cause it was getting wayyyy too long. If u want a shorter list I can just give u like a top 5 in DMs but there u go have at it, every movie on that list is a banger I swear

[narutsuart]

Updated Three Houses Top 10 Females List:

Just in time for International Women’s Day! I’ve been working on revising my list as much as possible in light of revisiting Three Houses, playing Ashen Wolves, and rethinking my love for each female character I put on my last list. I will this time do the my list from Tenth place to First place. Just a heads up my # 1 one spot has not changed so don’t expect some crazy surprise there.

Disclaimer: please don’t flame me or comment about how “WRONG” I am it’s just my personal opinion or preference. BE NICE! and maybe reblog or comment your favorite list if you’d like?

#10: Shamir:

My opinion Shamir literally has not changed. She is just a cool character, I love how despite her debt to Rhea she isn’t kissing Rhea’s ass like Catherine or Ciril. Did I mention I really don’t like them lol? She’s badass and she has an excellent character design. Perfect blend of sexy and badass.

#9. Bernadetta:

Bernie dropped another spot going from 8th to 9th. I still have an abundance of love for Bernie, and I want to protect her at all cost. I still hold the opinion that while she’s an absolutely hilarious character, she can still get repetitive and stale pretty fast upon replays. That being said when I was thinking of characters that might potentially drop to below my top ten I couldn’t reasonably see myself dropping her out of my top 10, as Bernie is still a genuinely enjoyable character, and I do have a soft spot for her.

#8. Sothis:

Unfortunately Sothis dropped down a bit no fault of her own, simply because I enjoy the ladies above her more. That being said I really do enjoy Sothis. Even though our time is brief with her, I really do love the snarky little goddess. It’s funny, last time I made this list I had gotten her Christmas altand expressed my excitement, but I didn’t have her Mythic version(aka original version). I just recently I finally got lucky, and pulled her Mythic version!

#7 Dorothea:

AHHH THE PITCH FORKS!! I’M SO SORRY!! I know! I know! WTF?! I honestly any think of a perfectly justifiable reason as to why Dorothea has dropped so low on my list. She went from 4th place to 7th place for those that don’t remember. I honestly feel disgusting for putting her so low....I absolutely adore her character, her design is absolutely stunning, and I still enjoy most of her supports, but honestly I can’t justify putting her any higher than the women above her on this list. Like many who have dropped lower in placement it’s of no fault of her own. I just happened to realize I love the women above her more. I still believe deserves all the happiness, love and care that she desires!

#6. Hapi:

Hapi is such a fucking gem, I don’t know if it’s just the dub but Hapi’s dialogue is just so ahead of its time period and I love it so much lol. She has some of the funniest quotes and her habit for nicknaming everyone is hilarious. I’m aware that it’s not a trait unique to her, but I’m of the opinion that her nicknames far surpasses Dorothea’s nicknames. Now if we we’re talking strictly design Hapi would place 4th out of entire female cast for me, and that’s impressive feat since Three Houses has an abundance of amazing designs. In fact if I was strictly talking design a lot of the placements on this list would actually change. For example Hapi would actually rank above Constance for me in terms of design, but is trumped by Constance in terms of character. I might do a separate list for “best” designs in the near future.

#5. Rhea:

I KNOW ITS BLASPHEMY I STILL have both Edelgard and Rhea in my top 5?!! As those who saw my last list can see Rhea’s placement has not changed. I love Rhea so much is because she’s the perfect foil to Edelgard. Rhea is an excellenty written character with a lot of emotional depth. She acts as a perfect foil for Edelgard’s character they are so similar yet so different. It also makes sense that she and Edelgard’s ideals would come to clash. I’m of the opinion that if Edelgard and Rhea just talked about their views it still would still not end well. Rhea sage guarded her fabricated history of Fódlan for a thousand years and would not just tell the truth because Edelgard called her out. She would’ve branded Edelgard a heretic and have her executed. That type of tranquil furry is honestly unsettling and I LOVE it. Btw the only reason she tells the truth in CS and VW is because in CS she doesn’t think she has much time left, and in VW she doesn’t have much time left and chaos is marching on Fódlan’s door. Likewise Edelgard would sympathize with Rhea’s past if she told the truth, but would insist that Rhea step down from power or tell the truth to the world which would still lead to conflict. I personally agree with Edelgard vision for Fodlan more, and personally think Rhea is unstable, and worst SOLE leader for Fodlan, but neither are evil people and I can empathize with their motives and reasons for doing the morally grey things they do. Neither of them “do nothing wrong” like people claim and in fact do a LOT wrong. It’s those wrong things they do that makes them intriguing characters, and more relatable. They also both have the potential to do so many good things for Fódlan depending on the route.

#4. Constance:

GOOD LORD Costance is truly a one of a kind. I was pro Constance since her design was first revealed in the Cindered Shadows DLC trailer. That being said never did I envision loving her THIS much! Her motivations are easily understandable, and her fall from grace makes even more sad when you realize that haughty attitude that she almost always has on display is due to her compensating for her lack of status. Constance is one of the funniest characters in the game to me and she came out AFTER the game lol. She’s an incredibly intelligent prodigy when it comes to all things magic yet she has this naivety that people are able to exploit like Yuri with the “bootlicking nobles” phrase. She takes it so literal that she tries it out for her self, and tries to make a way for the boots to taste better making it easier to lick their boots......I CANT EVEN!!... honestly Constance could top this list if it weren’t for her split personality..... don’t get me wrong her split personality when in sunlight can be funny every now and then, but honestly it does more harm to her character then helps it in my opinion. Her change in personality when in sunlight is implied that to be because of the trauma of the fall of House Nuevelle, but we never get any real explanation for it or anything implying she can overcome it. Its not expanded upon, and never treated seriously. In fact it’s played for laughs and it’s something people just accept as Constance just being Constance. I honestly felt Constance C rank support with Ferdinand was done so well. She calls him out for his usually insensitive comments about status and makes him regret his words immediately. I had so much respect for her in that moment, come the b-rank support she acts all submissive and praises the ground he walks on....which ruined the c-rank support for me tbh. That being said, as you can see based off her placement this trait of hers doesn’t ruin the character for me, just keeps her from being higher.

#3. Petra:

On a much lighter note, Petra is my 3rd favorite! If you notice she has dropped down from my second favorite spot. This is due to no fault of her own I, just happened to realize that I loved my number 2 spot more. With that being said Petra has still gotten the victory! Like I mentioned in my first list, Petra is just a delight. I love how she’s so dedicated, and always willing to learn. Funnily enough my initial expectation for Petra’s character pre-release was vastly different then what her actual character ended up being. She’s one of those character’s who’s design got revealed MUCH earlier than any details about her personality and her design gave me the impression that she was the aloof, intimidating, and serious type that doesn’t have time for making friends or fun. I don’t know if anyone else got this impression, but obviously I was wrong! Petra truly does remind me a lot of Starfire from the original 2003 Teen Titans tv show and kinda re-awakens that childhood cartoon crush in me lol. Petra is just awesome there’s not a single support I don’t like of her.

#2. Marianne

Now if you saw my old list you probably noticed that Marianne moved up a bit. Naturally I still love her design(I’m a sucker for light blue hair I think lol), but upon revisiting Three Houses I realized that leaving Marianne at 3rd place somehow didn’t feel adequate. Funnily enough she was technically the first person I S-ranked in Three Houses due to locking myself out of the Crimson Flower Route on accident. Honestly she has become my favorite character to S-rank in Three Houses even more so than my number one spot! Anyway my love for Marianne is very different for most character’s as she is one I feel can really relate to on very personal and emotional level. I’m gonna get real for a minute. I honestly I had been in bad place in my life recently. I had been feeling like the world has been crashing down on me. I have plenty of things to be happy for yet I often felt depressed. I’d often had “friends” call me out, saying I have no reason to be depressed, or that I have been blessed with so many things, and while I agree I’m very blessed, they couldn’t understand how I felt, as all they could provide was the view of an outsider looking in. While the action of suicide was something I never considered, I’d had been contemplating the value of my life or if it was really worth living. First want to clarify that I’m in MUCH better headspace than I was then. I definitely feel like I’m getting better. I have my ups and downs, but I’m currently making better friendships, I’m actively getting the help I need! I’ve always sympathized with Marianne, but now I can say that I really empathize with Marianne. When we take things at face value she seemingly had everything going for her, being brought up into the nobility, trained for success, and even having an extremely rare crest. By all means to an outsider looking in she had every reason to be happy. Of course while all these things sound nice especially in the context of the story they are in actuality a source for her depression. In her C-rank support with Ferdinand we see his confusion as to why Marianne dislikes being a part of the nobility. This support is one of the few times she expresses real anger, and is when expresses she never got to have what she saw as a normal life, she never wanted to be a part of the nobility and the weight and the expectations of being nobility was crushing her, as she had to adhere to standards of those around her. She was also taught to fear her crest as curse, so the blessing many commoners would be estatic to receive was thing she deemed as a curse. Over the course of the story and through her supports, Marianne begins to learn how to be more accepting of herself and gain more self-confidence. Naturally her timeskip appearance reflects this. She looks well-rested, expressive, and she genuinely seems more happy. I will never forget In her A-support with Byleth, that over the course of 5 years she had abandoned her depression and suicidal thoughts thanks to the genuine and long lasting friendship‘s she’s made and that she managed to uncover the truth of her heritage, and overcome the fear and hatred of her Crest. Her character arc is a very powerful thing to me, and is also example of what makes the 5 year timeskip so great. In addition to her character arc Marianne is just so cute, don’t get me stated on how adorable her habit of talking to animals is! Marianne is a fucking fantastic character and I love her so much.

EDIT: So I wanted to clarify that if I’m being honest Marianne and #1 spot are technically both tied as #1 me, and are so for very different reasons. For the sake of creating a Top 10 and to avoid a cop out list I chose to put her at second. To me Marianne is “BEST GIRL”. She’s my favorite female character to marry, she’s most endearing to me, she has like my third favorite female character design in all of Fire Emblem, and I relate to her on an emotional level. That being said this next character is “BEST CHARACTER” I like more for her role in the story, how her character is written, and how she was designed. Despite this I do not marry her NEARLY as often as Marianne. While I ship her with F! Byleth(OTP!) she’s not someone I personally would persue romantically. In other words Marianne is more my type and I tend to be biased with her while this next character is female character that I feel is the BEST WRITTEN and the female character I respect the most out of the cast.

#1. Edelgard:

Upon revisiting Fire Emblem Three Houses story as well as playing the Cindered Shadows DLC, nothing has changed, in fact my love and resolve for Edelgard has only been strengthened. I made a huge in depth posts for Edelgard a while back explaining her past, motives, and reasons for what she does. The posts had spanned multiple reblogs of details and clarification and I went over the typing limit in every single one. I won’t divulge further into all that. Like I mentioned last time I created my top ten list, aside from her being IN MY OPINION one of the best written female protagonists in Fire Emblem history, I absolutely love her design, its probably one of my favorite designs in all of Fire Emblem. That being said, If I had to say while she’s definitely close, she doesn’t have my all time number one favorite design, that spot goes to Azura from Fire Emblem Fates. Edelgard will always be my favorite Three Houses female character no matter what and I’m so happy she was brought into existence!

Well that’s my revised list, I had a lot of fun writing this list and I hope it was enjoyable for you guys to read as well! I would really love it if you guys comment or reblog with your own list of favorite Three House females! Y’know what?! Comment or reblog with your list of favorite females in the entire Fire Emblem franchise if you’d like! I’m very interested in seeing your lists Happy International Women’s Day!

[stimbunny]

Does anyone else struggle to play animal crossing with ADHD? It's a whole new level of inattentiveness. It makes me frustrated because I have been playing the game since I was 10 or so and still, I feel inadequate compared to others well manicured islands. Like, my island is a fucking mess. I have stuff everywhere. I try to clear my inventory but that is a nightmare in itself. Twigs, flowers, tools (3 shovels and no fucking fishing pole?) Then all the furniture which I either have to place in my house, somewhere on the island which btw I can TERRAFORM to make a perfect section ?! It's too much. Like, I want a cafe. So do I put it somewhere or literally terraform ~new land~ for my project in the midst of my massive sea of flowers? Then I need to empty my inventory (again!) Pick all the flowers but then do I keep them all? Only hybrids? Store them (you cant?!) Then back to the cafe, I've moved my cafe three fucking times already for placement.

Not only does it necessitate pre-planning for projects (and executing them!), I do find myself zoning out completely playing it due to the repeated dialogues and slow pauses between interactions. Like, compared to a game such as League or Overwatch where you are extreme multitasking the game with something to do every millisecond... I find myself spamming to get through dialogue but it's more than a neurotypical person would. Like I will actively be playing and the dialogue is so long, and so fbejrjdishsh that I zone out and my bf will snap me back into the game. Like it's brutal sometimes trying to STAY FOCUSED on the game due to the slow mechanics.

[dungeonecologist]

WILD ARMS 2 - Golgotha Prison

The name is not subtle, but the reference itself is actually oddly superficial.  At the end of the dungeon, Ashley is separated briefly from the party and Lilka and Brad are captured and tied to crosses, evoking the characters Dismus and Gestas, the thieves crucified during the same execution as the biblical christ.  There is little reference to that actual narrative however, instead seeming to draw from the fact that the name Golgotha is taken to be an epithet to mean literally “A Place of Skulls,” which seems rather appropriate and obvious for an execution field.

Bookending the start and end of this dungeon, we fight the boss monster, Trask.  First in a scripted “loss” and then in a solo match with Ashley’s new dark henshin hero form, the “Grotesque Black Knight,” Knightblazer.

“Trask” is yet another transliteration* issue that comes from the juggling between languages.  It actually comes from the Tarrasque, another monster most readily identified from its appearance in the original Dungeons & Dragons Monster Manual, itself originally taken from semi-obscure French myth of Saint Martha of Bethany and the Tarasque of Tarascon.

*(I realize I use this word a lot and it might not be as common use to others.  A “translation” lifts meaning between languages; a “transliteration” is to lift written characters between them.  Example: “Left” in English translates to 左[the direction] or 残[what remains] but transliterates to レフト.  Inversely 左 and 残 both translate back to English as “Left” but transliterate as “hidari” and “zan” respectively; and レフト transliterates back into English as “refuto.”)

Surprisingly, the Wild Arms 2 design (which would also go on to persist as the core design throughout the rest of the Wild Arms series) is based more on the original myth than the D&D representations tend to be: While the end product looks nothing like the depictions of the Tarasque of myth, it retains the spiked turtle shell, the prominent dual horns, poisonous quality, and fins on its head here account for being “half fish.”

Also of note is that the title card identifies it as a “Dragonoid” and it has various metallic and machine-like features.  These details are neat because it positions it as being not-quite a dragon, to work around a fact that will pop up much later: That dragons in Filgaia are extinct.  And also to play into the fact that Dragons in Wild Arms are semi-mechanical lifeforms.

In any case, our scripted loss to Trask the first time around ends with the team knocked out and imprisoned in what appears to be a disused execution ground and associated holding cells.  In our escape we run into monsters fitting the theme, who appear to be natural inhabitants, rather than guards put in place by the Odessa terrorist soldiers who are actually holding us here.

First up is the Wight, a classic undead warrior monster generally taken from D&D, but with a little more behind it than you might expect.  The term Wight in English lore actually traces back quite far as an archaic term with little to no real association with monsters.  The real intersection with name and subject comes from an early English translation of the Nordic Grettis Saga; In it the zombie-like creatures now better known as Draugr were referred to as apturgangr (lit.”againwalker”) but were translated as Barrow-wight. (lit.”[burial-]mound person”)

This may seem an odd choice, but the translation came at the hands of the eminent bookman William Morris.  I say “bookman” because he was not just a prolific author of prose and poetry, but a pioneer of the revival of the British textile and printing industry.  He and his wife, Jane Burden, did extensive arts, craft and design work in book and print design, book binding, and wall paper all stemming from the intricate design of modular and tiled printing blocks and stamps.  Oh and he translated various works of epic poetry and myth into English, including old Roman epics, French knightly romances, and of course Norse sagas. (all of which he wrote and published what was basically fanfiction of, btw)

His seemingly erroneous “translation” of the Barrow-wight came as an attempt to reflect a comparable agedness to the name: Rather than translating from old Norse into modern English, he chose what he thought a suitable old English equivalent; “Barrow” referring to pre-christian Anglo-Saxon burial mounds, and “Wight” meaning “thing” or “creature” but often used disparagingly to refer to a person.  The nuance there is actually quite clever, as the old Wight referred pretty exclusively to those living, even if it didn’t specify by definition, and that uncertainty or contradictory kind of implication uniquely fits a description of the undead.

This term would be picked up by J.R.R. Tolkein for use in Middle-Earth, retaining their lore and function from Norse legend to describe undead warriors.  And from there you can follow the usual chain of influence to D&D, where the shortened term Wight really solidified itself as synonymous with the undead, and eventually down to Game of Thrones, where George R.R. Martin cleverly brings the whole thing back around to old risen bodies of northern warriors, not unlike the Draugr of Norse myth.

Anyway in Wild Arms 2 we get some sorta death yeti ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Next up is the Ghoul, which I think we all know is a pretty generic term in modern parlance, but it’s specific origins date back to pre-Islamic Arabia.  It entered into English via translations of the original French translation of 1001 Arabian Nights, where it appears in one story as a monster lurking about the cemetery devouring corpses.

The Ghoul identity as a corpse eater quickly broadened into flesh eaters, and the association with lurking about graves in turn marked them as undead themselves until eventually the term became loosely applied to any variety of undead, including the thrall of vampires, supplanting the flesh of the dead with blood of the living and achieving a truly far removed meaning.  Even in modern Arabic the term now broadly applies to any number of fantasy monsters. 

And so long as we’re dabbling in pop culture transplants; the Arabaian word Ghul is in fact the same used in the name of the Batman villain, R’as al-Ghul, whose name/title has always been erroneously translated as “Head of The Demon.“

I have no idea why it’s a chicken with a mohawk but i love it

And finally the Bone Drake.  I don’t know that this one actually has any real specific lineage...

“Drake” is generally a synonym for dragon, although there is some case of fantasy semantics where different settings will try to define distinct body types of dragons each with their own name, in which case Drakes are often either dragons which simply don’t exceed a certain size (generally no bigger than a non-magical animal such as a dog or a horse) or a wingless variation of whatever the setting’s prototypical dragon might be.  I don’t know for certain, but I think this distinction in modern fantasy started with Tolkien’s wingless fire breathing dragon, Glaurung, and its offspring who were referred to as fire-drakes.

In any case, the specific term “Bone Drake” Doesn’t seem to appear with any visibility prior to Wild Arms 2, which leads me to believe it was just their name for a generic bone dragon-like creature.  It does make for an interesting companion, aesthetically, to Trask being here, although there don’t seem to be any implications that Trask lives in this dungeon at all.  Other than just being an obvious combination of cool fantasy things, it may also be pulled from Dungeon & Dragons’ Dracolich/Night Dragon; an undead (often skeletal) dragon raised from the dead, often by their own necromantic spells, hence the term “Lich.”  For whatever reason they are oddly reminiscent of shield crested dinosaurs like the Triceratops or Styracosaurus.

The attack Rhodon Breath doesn’t tell me anything either.  I think it’s just meant as “Rose Breath,” translating the “Rhodon” bit pretty literally, and references the smell of roses being present as a funeral, or else the palor of the faded pink color also called “Rose Breath.”  There is some apocryphal reference to a Rhodon but of no significance that I can tell.

Clearly the theme here is death and the undead, and with some small stretch on part of the Wight, we could even say skulls all befitting Golgotha’s “Place of Skulls” epithet.  It’s a really neat way to build this dungeon, albeit a little on the nose.  But I really like the idea that the dungeon appears to be abandoned and now haunted by all these reanimated corpses and bones before the villains arrive to use it for their plans.  Oddly there isn’t much of a martyrdom theme here, although we’ll get plenty of that a little later once we recruit our second magic user, summoner, christ figure, and perfect beautiful boy, Tim Rhymless to the team...

Anyway we get out, we fight Trask for real.  Ashley turns into a saturday morning superhero.  Trask gets solo’d.  And we all just kinda move along without asking too many questions...  Although the game dialogue describes this new form as a “grotesque black knight” the sprite work, 3D model, and even original character art don’t really convey much in the way of “grotesque” but in the context of the tokusatsu, henshin hero elements it’s not too hard to imagine that the design was meant to evoke a similar aesthetic to gruesome suit heroes like Guyver, Kamen Rider Shin, and Devilman.  I do love the gill/tendon-like organic vent structure in the pauldrons that stay.  And although it’s not visible in any of these images, but the D-Arts model has an exposed segment of vertebrae between the shoulders; that along with the teeth(?)/ribs on the open chest panels really helps bring out more of the “grotesque” quality of the design.

[blackbatpurplecat]

Double Review

What’s up, kittybats? Feeling a bit down today so I’ll write something positive to lift my mood.

One comic book character has been talked about frequently over the past months and the stuff related to him was great: Spider-Man! A mind-blowing game AND a Golden Globe winning animated movie were dominating headlines (not to mention the trailer to the next Holland movie) and of course, I checked out everything. Here are my thoughts:

Spider-Man (PS4)

Several colleagues of mine had asked me what I thought of the game and all I could answer was “I don’t have a PS4. :( “ So after hearing them praise it to high heaven, I thought about it a few weeks (it’s a big purchase after all) and eventually went out and bought one. With the sole intention of playing Spidey. And then I didn’t touch that game for months (THE GAME I BOUGHT A FUCKING PS4 FOR IN THE FIRST PLACE) because I got addicted to getting Arthur Morgan to Tahiti! I am hopeless. (RDR2 is amazing btw. Let me know if you care about my thoughts on it.)

Short plot intro: Spidey finally captures Kingpin and the big guy goes to jail. His absence however creates a power vacuum which is promptly filled by a mysterious gang, the Demons. Now Peter has to find out what they want and who their leader is while he’s also struggling with being evicted from his apartment, not getting paid for his lab job, working with his ex, Mary-Jane, and watching his mentor and idol, Dr. Octavius, getting fucked over by Osborn. Lots on this little spider’s plate.

Anyway, I’ve finally finished the main story and can honestly say this game is so much fucking fun! First of all, it looks AWESOME! The graphics are so pretty, the Spidey-suits look fantastic, the moves and physics are perfect! You spend most of your time swinging around Manhattan but it just won’t get boring. I preferred the swinging and flying over the fast travel option, even when I had to cross the entire map.

I love everything about the voice-acting, the dialogues, the story. I wouldn’t say I’m a Spider-Man fan but this game made me wish I was one so I could appreciate every in-joke, every easter egg, and reference even more. Towards the ending, I even got teary-eyed because the writing knew exactly how to give you the feels.

You’ll find a couple of side missions as well. If you look at them objectively you could say they become repetitive as it’s mostly the same spiel dressed kinda differently each time but I didn’t care. I enjoyed them all! Well, except for the pigeon one... Still haven’t caught them all. I hate those fucking birds...

So now I’m working through the three DLCs. Halfway through the one with Black Cat at the moment. She looks great but I wish I could cut those loose strands on the sides of her face. By the way, the human faces are quite well animated. I couldn’t help but compare them to Arkham Knight’s human faces. Characters in AK looked stiff and dead while S-M did it right, thank God.

To summarize, the Spider-Man game is definitely worth the money, it’s hours of fun entertainment and marvelous writing, and not only Spidey fans will enjoy it. It’s a lot like the Arkham games but polished and improved. HIGHLY recommend it!

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (animated film)

Another mind-blowing Spidey experience! WOW, all those styles! The music! The voice-acting! The feels! Holy cow, the feels!

So this Spidey story does not focus on our Peter Parker but the iconic black Spider-Man, Miles Morales. He’s a good-hearted teenager dealing with a lot of pressure coming from his parents and school. While he’s trying to figure out what to do with his life, he gets bitten by a radioactive spider and accidentally stumbles across Kingpin’s newest plan: building a particle accelerator underneath the city to access different dimensions. Suddenly, Miles is faced with great powers and great responsibilities as he’s helping a group of various Spider-people to get back to their universes.

This is how you make a comic book animated movie. This is it. I can’t imagine how you wanna top this.

You get introduced to every important character so you’re not forced to read up on them. You also get invested and attached quite quickly. The textures on the characters were so pretty, every face looked different (yes, even the female faces!), the animation is so smooth, agile, and fluid. Every dimension has its own style. There are tiny comic book details built in like speed lines or single words. Also the camera work was fantastic! We watched it in 3D, it was breathtaking on the big screen.

The story is simple and nothing new but executed very well. Bonus point: no forced love story. Nice! Each character had a real personality. And I absolutely loved the visual storytelling, especially when they explained Fisk’s background, that scene was powerful.

All I can say is that I adored this movie, I want to watch it again, I want it to win the Oscar for Best Animated Feature, and I want a sequel! Gimme more Spider-Gwen, gimme Spider-Woman, Silk, Sable, Black Cat! And more John Mulaney as Spider-Ham! XD

[hear-me-growl]

[Spoilers ahead]

Big softie Joon is a whole concept that I wasn’t ready for, but I’m now officially subscribed to it, following and paying its taxes. This Namjoon with this plot and OC? You got me melting.

Just the universe is super fun. The post-alien invasion world has been done before, but you executed it exceptionally. You didn’t go in much detail about it and yet it feels like a complete, fully built universe. Which, btw I think is super hard to achive. I also love that we get to know these two over the years, that they grow and evolve together. They have one of those quiet, family-like friendships that last forever, beyond being a couple or not. It’s so fucking precious that they are so smitten and gentle to each other but also badass pilots. And the hot love making? What was that?! I swear it’s the slowest, softest, sexiest shit I’ve read. Sign me up anytime.

The dialogues, the rhythm and tone, the narration, the angst and emotional development, the first fight (which btw is written incredibly well), the intimacy and love, the characterization and the growth they bith experience... Basically, everything about your story is perfect. Thanks for sharing it with us, you’re extremely talented 😊💙

@rmnamjoons

Taking Flight [KNJ Oneshot]

➳ summary: More than a decade after the alien invasion that wiped out most of the planet, you and Namjoon are both in the Pilot Cadet Corps, training for if the alien attackers ever come back. What begins as a playful rivalry between two overachievers develops into a deep friendship and emotional bond, but when the aliens suddenly return and you and Namjoon are separated, you find out just what you’re willing to do to get back to him.

➳ pairing: pilot!Namjoon x pilot!reader

➳ genre: smut, sci fi au, post apocalypse au, alien invasion au, rivals to friends to lovers

➳ word count: 15.2k

➳ read on ao3, link to my masterlist

➳ tags: smut, reunion sex, oral (f receiving), fingering, emotional loving sex, soft dom namjoon, dirty talk (no degradation), rivals to friends to lovers, sexually charged fight/sparring scene when they’re rivals, previously seemingly unrequited love/mutual pining, shower sex, multiple positions, namjoon is needy and so in love

➳ warnings: unnamed character death/death mention, blood mention, injury mention/vague description

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