#pg: so dillon...

[jrueships]

Pg asking alpey what he thinks about dillon's 'antics' before very quickly making sure everyone and their mama (jaren jackson jr) knows that he, THE paul clifton anthony george, 'disapproves of The dillon's antics'

[gorogues]

Flash Rogues Advent Calendar, Day 23

Title: `Tis Better To Give Day: December 23rd Rating: PG Warnings: A reference to the Rogues being crass. Summary: Anything can be competitive if you try hard enough.

Hartley knocked at the door with some trepidation, which only increased when Len opened it.  Both narrowed their eyes at the other.

“I’m here at your request,” Hartley said curtly, and the other man nodded.  “So what’s up?”

“We need an impartial observer to judge something, and you don’t really like any of us.  I’d ask Dillon, but you know how that’d go,” Len replied as he ushered the musician inside.  Most of the Rogues were gathering in the foyer, and they seemed to be arguing heatedly.

“Of course.  What’s the competition?  Most creative cheating at poker?  Trashiest collection of playing cards?”

(Hartley well-remembered the time the other guys had compared their favourite adult poker sets, as he’d never seen so many nude women in his life.)

“You’ll see.”

A few minutes later, Mick opened the door to the Rogues’ ‘living room’ and grinned excitedly at everyone waiting.  “It’s ready, guys!  Come look!”

The gang trooped into the other room, which was set up with one of the most spectacular Christmas trees Hartley had ever seen…and he’d seen a lot.  It was huge and lit with hundreds of coloured bulbs, decorated with festive ornaments that had probably been stolen from a store’s truck, and it concealed a rich bounty underneath: many wrapped gifts.

“What is this..?” Hartley asked with confusion.  In moments, Mark carried Josh into the room as both beamed widely, and the toddler became even more excited when he saw the beautiful tree.

“There’s tha wean of the hour!” Evan exclaimed, and he took a photo of Josh’s smiling face. 

“Oh, I almost forgot,” Len said when he saw the camera, and pressed an even fancier one into Hartley’s hands.  “Could you get some pics of him opening the presents, please?”

Hartley was beginning to get very puzzled and even a little alarmed.  Cold never said please.  What was happening here?

“Open mine first!  Mine!” Axel insisted as he bounced around with tangible excitement.  Mark smiled and reached for the two boxes wrapped in bright comic book pages, handing them to his delighted son.

“Twee!” Josh burbled happily as he tore the wrapping off the gifts, throwing the paper wherever he could.  He squealed with joy when he saw the cute bath toys inside, and began to play with them when Mark took them out of the box.  Hartley and Evan took a few photos of his happy face and new toys.

“I got him that,” Axel declared smugly.  “I bought them at the store, didn’t even steal them.”

Josh pointed at a box wrapped with fiery-looking paper and Mick jumped to his feet with eager anticipation.  “That one’s from me!”

Mark handed it over and the toddler tore off the paper with determination, revealing a cute little outfit festooned with smiling cartoonish flames: pajamas, socks, and tiny mittens.  Josh loved this too, and Mick beamed with happiness at the child’s obvious delight.

Mark picked up a box with orange and green wrapping paper, and Evan didn’t need to say who it was from.  He looked tense and excited as Josh pulled off the paper, then grinned with relief as the baby reacted joyfully to the magnifying glass set (though Hartley wasn’t sure he even knew what it was).

“Every wean should have magnifying lenses an’ a wee microscope from a young age!” Evan told the assembled group proudly.  “It gives them a strong background in scientific principles before they stairt schule.”

“I mean I guess…” Axel said skeptically, still certain that his bath toys were the best gift.  But Josh was happy with everything he received, even if he didn’t really understand all of it.  And of course Evan and Hartley made sure to take photos of him curiously examining his new science set.

“I guess mine’s next,” Len said with uncharacteristic uncertainty, and Hartley realized he was anxious.  Josh began ripping the snowflake wrapping paper off the box, and opened it to reveal a slightly worn stuffed bear.  The toddler immediately screeched excitedly and hugged it to his chest, prompting Len to smile.

“It was Lisa’s, long ago.  I think she’d be glad the little guy’s getting some enjoyment out of it now,” Len said with a slight catch in his voice, and Mark looked up at him gratefully.

“Thank you, Cold.  That means a lot to me.”

“Sure, no problem.  Just glad he likes it and will appreciate it.”

Josh was still hugging the bear and babbling delightedly, so it was clear that he did.  The others let him play with it a bit before moving on to the last gift, from his father.

“It’s hard to know what they’ll like or will find meaningful a month or a year from now,” Mark admitted to the group as he handed the box to his son.  “So I tried to go with something classy, something he’ll always remember.”

Josh tore off the plain green wrapping paper and cheerily opened the box, discovering a sterling silver cup inside.  It was child-sized and beautiful in its simplicity, and was engraved with ‘Joshua’ in cursive script.

“I was selling some of my loot at the fence’s place when I saw this and knew it was perfect for the kiddo,” Mark explained.  “I paid the asking price and got one of his associates to etch it, and voila.”

Hartley refrained from a comment about the cup being seized as stolen goods if/when the Rogues got busted, because he didn’t want to bring down the group’s happy mood.  At least Mark hadn’t swiped it directly from some other unfortunate kid, and it really was a beautiful object.  Josh was now trying to give the stuffed bear a ‘drink’ from the cup, and it seemed like something he'd genuinely treasure as he grew older.

“So the reason you’re here is to judge the competition: which gift did he like best?” Len told Hartley, who immediately hemmed and hawed.

“Isn’t the important thing that he’s happy and had a nice time..?” Hartley said evasively, hoping to wriggle out of this.

“Of course it is, but we made a bet about who could make him happiest!” Axel insisted.  “And it was me!”

“He’s gonna love his jammies on chilly nights,” Mick said, sanguine.

“He’ll know more about lenses and science than any other wean in his class, which’ll make him feel sae braw aboot himself,” Evan countered.

“He sure as hell loves that bear,” was all Len said, and nobody could disagree.

Hartley thought quickly, a vital skill necessary for every Rogue.  “I can’t judge this because I’ve got a gift for him too and it wouldn’t be an impartial contest!”

“Oh come on!” Axel complained, as he knew a ruse when he saw one, but Hartley reached into his cloak and pulled out an emergency harmonica.  It was his weapon of last resort, as its metal casing was dented and the sound was somewhat tinny…which honestly made it the perfect gift for a toddler.  Especially when you weren’t on great terms with the kid's family.

Josh was thrilled to receive an instrument and immediately began making horrible noises with it, and soon everyone over the age of three was glaring at Hartley.  He grinned cheerfully.

“Sorry guys.  At least I got some great photos of him for you, and his happiness really is what’s important here.  You all made some great memories.”

“We did until that harmonica showed up,” Len glowered as Josh merrily tooted away, deeply off-key.

“You’ll thank me when he’s a great musician,” Hartley shrugged, and Mark sighed helplessly.

“It’s annoying, but he’s right.  Josh is happy and that’s all that matters.”

“I’m gonna teach him to play Despacito on that thing,” Axel announced, and Len pinched his nose in frustration.

“Okay, it’s time to eat.  There’ll be booze.  Lots and lots of booze.”

[motownfiction]

PG-13

The PG-13 rating was a real boon for Sam.

It wasn’t just that he could take Steph to see a bunch of slightly less lame movies on Friday and Saturday nights, although that really did help. You can only take your girlfriend to so many silly cartoons and live-action Disney movies and still expect her to be interested in making out with you afterward. Sam knows he’s cute, but no one is that cute.

Except for maybe Matt Dillon.

He’s getting a little ahead of himself, but the winter of 1984 is a big deal for him. Ever since he and Steph have been serious (a term that makes him feel a little scared, especially when his best friend is seventeen, a father, and married), he thought maybe all those other feelings were souped-up. Like maybe they weren’t what he believed them to be. Maybe … maybe he hadn’t been in love with Will. Maybe it was something else, and maybe Sam just didn’t understand. It wouldn’t be the first time a teenager believed he was in love, but it was really something else. Projection. That’s what they call it in psychology.

And then, right before Christmas, The Flamingo Kid came out.

It’s a pretty good movie. Solid story about a kid realizing that even if the grass is greener on the other side, they treat the people who water it like they’re not even people. But that’s not what drove half the people in the theater to see it.

No, that would be Matt Dillon.

Matt Dillon driving classic cars around a parking lot, Matt Dillon with ice cream in his eyebrows, Matt Dillon in a robe after making love to Janet Jones in the nighttime. Matt Dillon, Matt Dillon, looking damn good.

And Sam knows.

He sees the movie three more times. Once all by himself. And he knows, right there in the dark by himself, how Lucy must feel when she watches this movie. When she watches Matt Dillon, Matt Dillon.

It wasn’t a coincidence. It wasn’t nothing.

No point in running from it anymore.

(part of my new blog, @analognostalgia's september prompts -- day 3 is "PG-13!")

[movies-to-add-to-your-tbw]

Title: Haunted Mansion

Rating: PG-13

Director: Justin Simien

Cast: Rosario Dawson, Chase W. Dillon, LaKeith Stanfield, Owen Wilson, Tiffany Haddish, Danny DeVito, Jared Leto, Jamie Lee Curtis, J.R. Adduci, Creek Wilson, Ben Bladon, Lindsay Lamb, Charity Jordan, Fedor Steer, Terence Rosemore, Winona Ryder

Release year: 2023

Genres: fantasy, horror, family, comedy

Blurb: A woman and her son enlist a motley crew of so-called spiritual experts to help rid their home of supernatural squatters.

[taletheoldcrowtold]

Pride - 2024: Day 6

Movie: In & Out

Made in: 1997 – Set in: 1997

Starring: Kevin Kline, Joan Cusack, Tom Selleck, Matt Dillon, Debbie Reynolds, Wilford Brimley, Bob Newhart

Rated PG-13 for: Sexual innuendo

A comedy about high school teacher, Howard Brackett, who is outed by a previous student in an acceptance speech at the Oscars. With his job and future wedding to his fiancee of three years on the line, Howard tries to convince everyone, even himself, that he is not gay.

It’s a funny and very obviously 90s movie, having things in it that you wouldn’t see in a movie nowadays but aren’t necessarily bad or horrible. The romance between Howard and Peter isn’t much explored but I liked the two together.

Spoilers under the Keep Reading Line

No one dies and it has a happy ending, implying that Howard and Peter might get together

It’s a fun movie with a very light tone but it also shows how people act different when they hear someone is gay. Though the homophobia is pretty tame compared to some other movies, it’s still disheartening to see the students and vice-principle treat Howard like they do and are relieved when he says he isn’t gay. It would have been nice to see Howard and Peter together more, as I like some of their dialog. And even though it is nice to see Cameron find Emily attractive even when she wasn’t skinny, it’s a tad bit weird that she used to be his teacher and they got together in the end. Especially when she recalled their time together and it almost felt as if she had a crush on him or something. But this was the nineties and things were more acceptable in movies back then. It’s still a good movie and is funny, though might play a bit in the gay stereotypes it also pokes a bit of fun at toxic masculinity when Howard gets a ‘how to be a man’ instruction tape. It also show the hardship of being a gay teacher, as his job is threatened when everyone thinks he’s gay and then he’s fired when it is revealed he is gay. Also, Tom Selleck without a mustache is really weird to me as I’ve only ever seen him with one. It is good to see a movie with a happy ending for pretty much everyone. Like I said, it’s a 90s movie. Just keep that in mind when going in.

Mom’s Thoughts: I’m a big fan of Kevin Kline and Joan Cusack, so this movie was a must see for me. At first the student’s outing of Howard seems like it may be a mistake on his part, as Howard himself is surprised by the news along with the rest of the town. Peter, one of the reporters that descended on the town when the story broke, does his best to make Howard see the truth in the allegations. I think it should be up to the individual to decide whether or not to announce they’re gay, lesbian, or whatever, and when this should happen. Howard tells his fiancee he is not gay and holds to that up to the moment he is about to say his vows. Then he announces to the church, and the whole town, that he is indeed gay. He is fired from his teaching job and his world crumbles before his eyes. On the high school graduation day, the actor/former student who outed Howard shows up and talks to the townspeople (mostly the vice principle who had fired Howard) in an effort to get them to see how wrong firing Howard was. It is an entertaining film, uplifting and filled with good actors and an implied happy ending for Howard and Peter.

[fantasyqueen502]

Who are you?

Rated: PG (Mentions of violence, blood, and experimentation)

Summary: Re-imagined events of Miguel finding his happiness in an unforeseen adversary.

Authors note: Most likely some grammar errors let me know if you find any and feel free to leave a like or comment. ❤️

A small squeak leaves the small woman's lips. The look of shock and surprise from being startled subsides. She smiles nervously, struggling to shoulder the heavy front door. Carrying a sleeping Gabriella, bags of groceries, and a shoulder bag, leaving her a tangled mess with no arms available to free herself.

"You're home." She states it as if it were an unbelievable occurrence. "C--thank you." tumbles out of her lips. Miguel took Gabriella into his arms. She stirs but continues her slumber. Surprisingly, he holds her with one arm while balancing her on his hip, using the other to take all of her bags. Even her shoulder bag, which housed her laptop and textbooks. "Miguel, you'll pull something; let me---" 

His lips capture hers in mid-sentence. Frozen in shock, she slowly melts. When he breaks, she stumbles, leaning forward, not wanting the moment to end. "You deserve a break. Treat yourself." 

He chuckled at the way she touched her lips. "Ok." She breathes, taking a step back after realizing how close they were. "Ok." She says it again, a bit more confidently, watching him disappear up the stairs.

"Maxine?" He calls making his way down the stairs. She was no where to be found. Walking into the dark kitchen, finding the light shining under the door, which led down into the basement. "Mi amor?" He calls. Looking around.

Growling under his breath, he scans his watch. "Lyla, find her location. Did something happen? Was she kidnapped or—"

"No she's---" the yellow hologram begins

"Right here!" 

He turns, only to be greeted with a baseball bat.

Waking up, he winced, the left side of his head, throbbing, and his vision doubled and spun as he lifted his head to the woman standing in front of him.

"What are you doing?" He's attempting to sweet-talk his way out of this mess.

"The better question is, How are you here?" Her voice was different. Lower and with an accent. Australian maybe. "You're definitely not Miguel O'hara, who was shot by some thug in a white pullover."

He didn't react, but his blood ran cold to see how this information got out so quickly.

"Strange, I found the same white pullover stuffed into the upstairs bathroom trash bin." She picked up the blood-stained clothing from the table she leaned on.

Miguel had enough.

He was going to easily break free of his restraints, only for his arms to feel weak. His whole body felt heavy and numb, like dead weight, just hanging off of him. "Quite a kiss, Casanova." She chuckles. "Haven't juiced in; I don't know how long." She exhales a shuttery breath, yellow sparks of electricity dance about her fingers. "Siphoned from your nervous system. I can't have you hulking out or whatever and wake up little cinnamon bun. I actually like the kid. Now answer my question, mate. Who. Are. You."

"I'm from." He grinds his teeth; thoughts escaped him; he can't think. "I'm from another dimension."

"Mmmmhmmm," she hums dubiously. Poking and prodding at a watch in her palm. His watch. Realizing his wrist was bare.

"How?" He whispers. "Stop that!' He shouts.

"You were talking to someone. Who were you talking to?"

"Lyla. She's my AI system  from...

 

"Another dimension." She scoffs. "You can't accept me to believe that."

He suddenly glitches an array of colors, twisting and bending his body out of place before returning to normal. He groans trying to catch the breath that was knocked from his.

"Fascinating." She grins expression lit with wonder. "Why are you here?"

"I answered your first question; now let me go."

"I'm the one not tied to a chair, so I think I'm still asking, and you'll keep answering, yeah."

"Who are you? Electro? Maxie?" He snickers.

"Maxine Dillon. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance. You ruined a great, diabolical plan. Three years of undercover, setting up a resume and interview to get close to the daughter, and getting rid of Oscorps best by getting into his pants."

"You killed this dimension's Miguel."

"Yes, well, I was, no thanks to you. I was finally going to be taken seriously. Thee, Maxine Dillon, Electro now have access to all of Oscorp's dirty laundry. I bet even KingPin would volunteer to be my lap dog for a week for a megabyte." She grins to herself.

 

"I don't think so." He monotones. 

 

"Shut up!" She screeches, "What do you know?" Grabbing his throat, her nails dug into his skin.

The squeak of the basement door sounds caused both to snap their heads towards the top of the stairs.

"Maxine?" A small voice calls.

Miguel watches as the woman quickly releases him, pocketing his watch and straightening her clothes before ascending the stairs.

"What's wrong, pumpkin?" She asks sweetly, saying that even Miguel forgot that she threatened him with violence just a few moments ago.

"I had a bad dream." She sniffles. 

"Oh, no." 

"A dream that I couldn't find you." She hiccups with sobs. Miguel grinded his teeth, trying with his might to break out of this restraints that bit into his wrists and ankles.

"Let's get you cleaned up, then some warm milk." The door closes, leaving Miguel with some time. Collecting his breath, he felt the effects of the nerves losing its grip. He broke free of the ropes and ties with ease.

 

Creeping up the stairs glitching as quietly as he could vaulting from the wall up onto the top of the stairs into the kitchen, where Maxine had her back to him.

"What did you do to her?" He snaps lowly, pinning her to the fridge.

"She's using the bathroom, and I'm warming up some milk." She wheezes, her face going red, with his forearm on her throat. He roughly searches her pocket, slipping on his watch.

"Lyla, scan the milk." He demands. 

"Normal whole milk, 98 degrees Fahrenheit."

He glares at the woman who glared back, rubbing her throat. Both have their stare off as the meek steps come down the stairs and around the corner into the kitchen.

"Daddy!" She grins, lifting her arms into his own.

 

"Maxine said you had a bad dream."

She nods, hiding her face in his neck.

"It's OK, Niña." He was rubbing her back. Maxine turns the oven off, pouring three mugs of milk.

"Milk's ready." She announced, handing out three mugs.

"Gracias, Maxine." The girl thanks

"De Nada." She returns. 

"One for me and one for Miguel." She fakes a cordial smile. Lifting her mug to him and taking a sip. He stares daggers but takes a sip when Gabriella watching him curiously to keep up appearances.

Gabriella takes Maxine's hand as all three walk to her bedroom for bed. Miguel spies from the doorway.

"All snug?" Maxine asks. The girl nods at the puffy blanket tucked under her chin. "Nice and warm." The girl nods. "Not too warm." She tests the girl, she giggles, grinning, and shakes her head no. "Get some rest. You have to get up early tomorrow." She reminds. 

"Buinos nochas." She says she is kissing her forehead.

"Buinos nochas, Maxine." She yawns. 

"Buinos nochas, Papa." She mumbles. 

"Night, Gabriella." He whispers, kissing her forehead.

Closing the door behind him, he looks at the woman with furrowed brows. "Tomorrow's Saturday." 

"Yes." 

"Why does she have to get up early?"

"Soccer practice. It's her big game tomorrow; how can you not know?"

"Not this dimension's Miguel, remember."

"If I was going to take over myself from another dimension's life, I would do some homework."

"Why were you going to kill me?"

She scoffs, going to walk away, but he pins her to the wall. Surprisingly silent. He pins her arms at her sides by her wrist.

 

"Did you even think about Gabriella?" He sneers. "Taking away her father."

"Father." She cackles. "In a biological sense and nothing more." She spat. "Do you want to know how many excuses I had to come up with on the spot as to why her dad doesn't love her?"

He is floored, letting her go. "He was a workaholic with a temper who didn't know how to express grief and love to his six-year-old daughter."

"What's your deal with Oscorp?"

He waits, his eyes looking into her own.

"To expose them."

"Exposing a million-dollar tech slash medical technology of the future that are actually bad guys be anymore predictable."

"I need this world's Miguel because he was working on another serum project."

"What serum project?"

"The stupid project that gets thousands, if not millions, of people killed on their crusade to recreate the Super Soldier serum."

She rolls up her sleeve, showing a faint serial code. "Bout sixteen living on the street thought I was testing aspirin or stool softener, but was pumped with chemicals for almost three years—water therapy, electro shock therapy." She sighs, rolling her sleeve back down. "It feels like fire pumping through your veins." She mumbles. "I power this whole city, and most anesthesia, tranquilizers, and painkillers don't work on me. Yay me!" She cheers humorlessly.

"I think there's a way for both of us to get what we want." Miguel propositions.

Spiderverse Masterlist

Masterlist, Imagines, and Miscellaneous Drabbles

[pallabhowlader]

Haunted Mansion's talented cast makes the movie a pleasant enough destination, although it's neither scary nor funny enough to wholeheartedly recommend. Haunted Mansion is a fun blend of horror and comedy with a great cast and a story that'll be extra entertaining for fans of the ride that inspired it.

Haunted Mansion is a comedic, ghost story that has enough laughs and light moments to balance the dark side of this Disney movie. It is still, however, quite scary in parts, which makes it unsuitable for children under 10 years. Parental guidance is recommended for children aged 10-12 due to the supernatural themes.

Haunted Mansion is needlessly convoluted and feels its length but for a Disney theme park ride adaptation it's really impressive how ready this film is to have some genuinely moving and open conversations about grief and how painful it can be to move on. Lakeith Stanfield is the main reason any of this works. 

“Haunted Mansion,” rated PG-13 for “some thematic elements and scary action,” is based on the Disneyland ride of the same name. The movie features a mother, played by Rosario Dawson, and her son, played by Chase Dillon, who move into a haunted home in Louisiana and learn they cannot leave.

The Korean/Chinese/Japanese horror films really have a certain feel to them, this one did not disappoint. There were some jump scares here and there, but most were predictable. Still a pretty decent watch but the run time could have been cut down a little.

All of this makes the movie more appropriate for older tweens and teens than younger or more sensitive children.” The Motion Picture Association gave “Haunted Mansion” a PG-13 rating for some thematic elements and scary action, according to IMDb.

I would say the movie is best for more mature kids, but if your kiddo is not phased by jump scares and creepy things, by all means let them watch it. Regarding suicide: 1. The Ghost Host in the ride this movie is based on committed suicide, so this movie deals with the subject. 2.

 "Haunted Mansion" succeeds by being a thrill ride from start to finish, utilizing aspects of the ride naturally while telling a story of rejection, grief, and acceptance, even if it's a little long and predictable. True ghost story Visit 

The film was theatrically released in the United States on November 26, 2003, by Buena Vista Pictures Distribution. The film received negative reviews from critics but performed well at the box office, grossing $182.3 million worldwide against a $90 million budget.

For example, most of the film is really dark: it takes place at night, in rooms with failing lights. Waldron: Yeah, darkness is hard. Disney darkness is extra hard because a horror film is one thing, but a Disney horror film is another thing entirely. I wanted to make sure we could see, but still feel it was dark.Holding a 37% approval rating from critics on Rotten Tomatoes, the majority of criticism for Haunted Mansion was aimed towards the movie's balance of horror and comedy, with many reviewers feeling it didn't go far enough in either direction to fully recommend the movie. The film was presented to the MPAA in two versions, both were R rated for crude and sexual content, language and some drug use.

In terms of scariness this film has infrequent jump scares, when they do appear they are scary (the scariest is at the beginning) the music adds creepy vibes and the ghosts themselves do have scary designs Characters are chased and axes are thrown and the hatbox ghost is menacing. For more haunted mansion

PG-13: PARENTS STRONGLY CAUTIONED. Some material may be inappropriate for children under 13. R: RESTRICTED. Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian. People who have experienced McKamey Manor have shared truly horrifying accounts of what has allegedly taken place from near drowning and possibly being buried alive to much worse. While there is a safe word, people have claimed that it's pretty much useless and the experience isn't over until McKamey says it is. The Mansion is a delightfully unlivable home to 999 happy haunts (but there's room for a thousand in case you wanted to volunteer). The ride features a slow-moving Doom Buggy Omnimover ride system, a number of special effects and some secret surprises that make it a truly unique experience.

Firstly, you've got to consider the maturity level of your 14-year-old. Some kids can handle mature content and understand that it's fictional, but others might get nightmares or become overly anxious. You're the best judge of your child's temperament. 1-13 year olds may be better equipped to navigate the scary movie scene on some level but each child is different. If your child watches something that they say is not scary to them but then starts coming to you at night wanting to sleep closer to you or is having nightmares let their behavior speak for them.

The movie is rated PG-13, according to the MPAA rating system for some thematic elements and scary action. Several users on International Movie Database said it also contained some profanity. Gentle thrills can let kids explore fears in a safe environment. Others movies can be very scary and even violent. Scary movies that contain violence or adult content can have harmful effects on young viewers' behavior and mental health. 

The issue is that the PG rating is too low for what the movie contains. It views more like a PG-13. While the Halloween violence is minimal, there are numerous sexual innuendos in this movie that are shocking for a movie that seems to be aimed for kids.

According to Common Sense Media, “Haunted Mansion” is rated PG-13 for violence, frightening scenes, supernatural elements such as dark magic and the appearance of a Ouija board and some alcohol use. The site recommends the movie for kids 11 years old and older. “Haunted Mansion” is not rated PG-13 for language. Which Disney Haunted Mansion Movie Is Better? - IMDb. Which Disney Haunted Mansion Movie Is Better? The 2023 remake of Haunted Mansion is considered better due to its more engaging characters, intriguing story, and relatable themes, providing a deeper connection to the audience.

6. The Disneyland Haunted Mansion was largely inspired by the Shipley-Lydecker House in Baltimore, Maryland, pictured in Decorative Art of Victoria's Era, a book found in the Walt Disney Imagineering Information Research Center in Glendale, California. 7.

Haunted Mansion failed at the box office due to a lack of good reviews and a boring story, despite a star-studded cast and nods to the Disney ride. The ghosts haunting the mansion won't let anyone leave, and Ben discovers a dark and vengeful spirit controlling the house. With teamwork and a willing sacrifice, the group banishes the spirit and decides to stay in the haunted mansion, celebrating with a Halloween party. Simply by the sheer number of popular figures present in the film, the Haunted Mansion remake has the superior cast. The film also includes Jamie Lee Curtis as Madame Leota, which tips the scales in Haunted Mansion's favor. 

Ben's life hasn't been the same since his wife, Alyssa (Charity Jordan), died in a car accident, and so the character was originally slated for a rather devastating ending, as opposed to the more upbeat version that's in theaters now. The project marks the second theatrical film adaptation of the ride, following 2003's The Haunted Mansion starring Eddie Murphy. Please visit haunted hous

A Few Decent Laughs Can't Save Disney's Haunted Mansion. Disney's new Haunted Mansion is a hot mess, but it's a sporadically entertaining one. For a film that's based on a fun and spooky ride, it failed to deliver on both. Sure, there were funny moments but nothing ever felt fun. It lacked a spirit of adventure, probably due to the nature of confining the plot to a mansion. The Only Scary Thing About the New 'Haunted Mansion' Movie Is How Bad It Is. Disney's latest cash-grab film based on one of its theme park rides is egregiously corny, lazy, predictable, and without a fright to be found.

“Haunted Mansion,” rated PG-13 for “some thematic elements and scary action,” is based on the Disneyland ride of the same name. The movie features a mother, played by Rosario Dawson, and her son, played by Chase Dillon, who move into a haunted home in Louisiana and learn they cannot leave.

There are frightening moments throughout. Haunted Mansion, of course, dabbles in light horror elements during its two-hour runtime. While the scary moments can be startling and loud, most are not for sustained for long periods of time.

Good ideas in this anime get lost in a disappointing, convoluted plot. The Haunted House attempts to juggle too many ideas at once and misses the mark. Mysteries are overly complicated, and the visuals and sound effects can be quite scary, which may not be suitable for young kids.  Real ghosts visit.

People who have experienced McKamey Manor have shared truly horrifying accounts of what has allegedly taken place from near drowning and possibly being buried alive to much worse. While there is a safe word, people have claimed that it's pretty much useless and the experience isn't over until McKamey says it is.

Many haunted houses are believed to contain ghosts. They can also contain the spirits of dead people. The rumour that a house is haunted often starts after something violent or tragic happens in the house, such as a murder or suicide.

They're often surrounded by dead trees and plants. The windows are dark and filled with shadows that play tricks on your eyes. On the inside, haunted houses are filled with things like dust, cobwebs, creaking doors, cockroaches, mist, shadows, ripped curtains, ghosts, rats, and rot. I would say the movie is best for more mature kids, but if your kiddo is not phased by jump scares and creepy things, by all means let them watch it. Regarding suicide: 1. The Ghost Host in the ride this movie is based on committed suicide, so this movie deals with the subject. 2.

[verushkak70]

omg! Thank you so much!! Isn't he a super hottie in Forever Knight!? I had to follow him after I saw him in that, lol!

Which led to dS (💜), HCL (😣💜), FTWHTWD (😟😞💔)... & CKR is simply AMAZING as Jerry Bines in FTWHTWD!! & also Curtis's Charm (which led me to My Brilliant Beast, a Toronto triphop group - that was the musical genre they were placed in, at the time - whose music was featured in MBB)

due South started my love of Headstones, too! As soon as I heard "Cubically Contained" in Mountie & Soul, I loved the song instantly - so I had to have that album (it should've been on a Season 3 due South soundtrack album, but we never got one, sigh)...

So I bought Headstones' Smile & Wave album & fell in love with Headstones & Hugh Dillon - I heard "Cubically Contained" WAY before I was able to get my hands on HCL DVD (I actually bought it first on VHS from a Canadian online shop - & paid a lot of $ to have it shipped to Chicago!)

Sadly, iirc, HCL was never theatrically distributed in the US (I would still LOVE to see it on the big screen), even after Tarantino's production company got distribution rights... At least, not in Chicago (possibly in LA or NYC)

Of course, after I fell in love with Smile & Wave, I bought all of Headstones' other albums! I still buy every album they put out (I have their entire discography - & they have a new album coming out this May! So excited!!)

Not to mention, I sent blank VHS tapes to a very nice Canadian fangirl whose name I've completely forgotten years ago, & she sent me all the most crucial S1 & S2 episodes (including VS), which got me into Sarah McLachlin & The Tragically Hip - ah, such good times! I remember one online fangirl being like "How can you like both Tragically Hip and Headstones and Sarah McLachlin??" & I was like, "IDK - I just do"...

Gord Downie was such a tragic loss... Little did I know, < 6&1/2 years later, my oldest sister & family BFF would be taken by the same damn cancer

But I got to see TTH twice in Chicago, years apart, years before Gord's illness - & Headstones twice in Buffalo, NY - fucking awesome concerts! - as was the BNL concert I attended this past summer with Ride_Forever

I made trips because of dsc6d stuff - to Toronto & Buffalo (my first Toronto trip was a solo trip in the wee early 90s when the Internet was very, very young - just me just following an online map of Forever Knight filming locations that some thoughtful fan had identified & put online (plus the last RCW139, the only one I was ever able to attend)

I think it's safe to say... My life would not be the same if Forever Knight & due South had not come into my life

& all the wonderful fen I've "met" (or actually met IRL, lol) past & present - & PG in Hamlet! yeegods! - I know there've been road bumps (*cough*Ray Wars *cough*), but those are far outweighed by the fun & joy (& rilly, the S3 Forever Knight casting bitching in FK fandom was apparently just a dry run for the Ray Wars, lol!), plus I got to learn that, yup, people are people & Some Will Troll & not to let it get to me because that's not very Fraser, now, is it?

So much fun & discussion & travel & great music & friends & fic (god, the fic in due South fandom is so fucking good! There is so much good fic in dS & I'll never catch up with it all but I would like to spend some of my retirement trying, if I make it that far!)...

All that from Forever Knight, due South, & dSc6d! So much to be grateful for!

So thank you for these gifs & the impromptu trip down memory lane! It's been a blast & it's still so much fun

To quote Joe Dick, "You people, you're the fuckin' coolest!" (& I'm not lying like him, lol!)

For @verushkak70

[star-shuttle-scout]

Thoughts on what went inside Venjix’s lair when the grumpy Sibs and the Boom Twins were captured??

There have always been a few questions I've had in terms of how Venjix technology works, it's vague at times and a little confusing so pardon me if I take liberties with my concepts. Also, fair warning, my theories are not PG rated in the slightest and might be a little disturbing concept-wise.

I'm going to give you a run-down of a timeline of some of Dillon's main flashbacks. The Tables - AKA: Dissection, Study, and Early-Stage Experimentation

In flashbacks we do see some of the inside of Venjix's lair. In episode 20, we see Flynn drop a socket wrench on the ground, the sound causing Dillon to have a flashback. In his flashback, we see him amongst others in rows on tables (Tenaya is also there). The noise that the socket wrench reminded him of was a grinder dropping some sort of plier-type tool. We see grinders hovering over many sedated humans, all wrapped in what looks to be those insulated thermal blankets. There are wires and tubes attached to all of them, and we even see a grinder holding what looks to be like a different type of pliers or tongs. So, what does this mean?

In my opinion, it implies that whatever they were doing in that area likely involved dissection. Yes, you heard right. Venjix was making its grinders dissect human captives. This could have been for various reasons, from studying and understanding, testing the durability of subjects, and even early-stage experimentation on them.

I do have a theory that there was a sort of cattle-herding type area before the tables, but we never see any canonical evidence of that. It's just a theory of mine that they were all gathered up, herded into a tight space and then lined up, slowly picked out, sedated, then thrown down onto the tables. Now, if they survived that then I'm guessing they were moved to other places. Bringing us to our next part.

Here's where it gets tricky, this story is literally told in broken blurry fragments so bear with me here.

The Cells - AKA: Individual Experimentation and Manual Upgrading

It is revealed that Gem and Gemma shared a cell next to Tenaya. Now you might be wondering "Where is Dillon??? What about his escape?". We assume that likely Gem and Gemma were captured after Dillon escaped. This is likely true, or at least they were in earlier stages of capture when Dillon got out. Whether or not Dillon got to the cells is up for debate, he could have been put in the cell with Tenaya and that is when they made their escape attempt, but that's not what I personally believe. Personally, I think that Dillon escaped off the table and took Tenaya with him. And this is when they made their escape attempt. However, it obviously failed, and they were separated.

This is the moment Venjix chose Dillon to be its next attempt at creating a human hybrid. Everything before was just tests, measurements, and Dillon was strong enough to endure all of that torture and escape. What Venjix did to Dillon was a punishment but also what I theorize to be the first successful attempt at making a human hybrid.

At this point Dillon's memories are "taken" by the SatBot (I don't believe this to be true, but I won't get into it here) and he is upgraded. Meanwhile, Tenaya is sent down the tunnel. Now I know you're probably thinking "But wait, wasn't that the moment Tenaya got upgraded?". I would assume so too, except when Gem and Gemma meet Tenaya in the cells, she's blind. So, I'm guessing whatever that was, was kind of a bluff? Just to kind of torment Dillon further, and maybe crush his idea of rescuing his sister? I don't know, Venjix is weird as hell. I don't understand it.

This is where I just make shit up. I believe after Dillon's memories were taken, Dillon was sent to be further opened up and have Venjix technology implanted inside him manually. Tenaya is sent back to the cells and that's where Gem and Gemma come in (I'm not sure if they confirmed that Gem and Gemma were hybrids or not??? I'm still rewatching right now, but either they got out before being manually upgraded or they got out after). Shortly thereafter, Tenaya is upgraded as well because her upgrades and Dillon's were of the same generation, seven.

Now this is where the confusion comes, because I always wondered how Dillon got out.

He got captured, didn't he? Memories removed and upgrades implanted. And they want me to believe he just got out? That can't be right because how did he get the watch and the key? Only his key specifically, not even Tenaya's, so obviously he didn't go back to that cell where they were because he would have found Tenaya or at least her key. I believe that Kilobyte purposefully released Dillon at this point as a latent and dormant attempt to infiltrate Corinth City without Venjix’s knowledge, causing him to be exiled. To give him just enough humanity to seek out the only city nearby, to seek answers in civilization. With the knowledge that eventually the latent nanotechnology inside of him would take over.

Anyways, thanks for the question I love talking about this stuff lmao. Hope it isn't too long and rambly.

[star-of-zeus]

Hellenic Priests: Ritual Masters

First in my priesthood series I wish to talk about one of the commonly overlooked duties of hellenic priests: experts of ritual.

Due to what I suspect is largely Christian influence, many people believe that modern-day priests are to teach and guide others towards their god. While of course that is, in fact, the case in certain religions, priests in ancient Greece didn't quite do that.

The priest's presence was also required to ensure the exact observance of the ritual which conditioned the validity of the sacrifice... The Greek priest neither taught nor preached; he was mainly the servant of the god and a professional of sacrifice.  (p. 38 of Priesthood)

As each individual temple or sanctuary was typically devoted to a different deity or different aspect of a deity, the rituals performed were also unique.

No special training was required of the future priests. Each sanctuary had a fixed ritual and the celebrant simply followed its detailed rubrics. (pg. 38 of Priesthood)

As the future priest/esses had presumably grown up sacrificing to and serving the gods, they didn’t need to learn about a lot of the different aspects of hellenic polytheism. The only new knowledge they really needed was knowledge of the rites they would be performing in their priesthood on behalf of their god and their community. 

Priestesses, like priests, underwent no special training (Isokrates To Nikokles 6), presumably learning their tasks ‘on the job’ or, when possible, from the previous incumbents. There were no books of ritual in traditional Greek religion, unlike in ancient Rome, so all knowledge of ritual was verbal, especially in the case of the various secret rites priestesses presided over in honour of goddesses. (pg. 1 and 2 of Priestesses of Ancient Greece)

Generally, there seemed to be two different kinds of rituals: rituals for the god and rituals for the community. I will give examples of both, one being done by a priest of Zeus Lykaios for rain and another being done to honor to Zeus Polieus.

If a drought lasts for a long time and by now their seed in the grounds and their trees are drying up, in such circumstances the priest of Zeus Lykaios prays at the water [of Hagno, a spring on the mountain] and makes all the sacrifices that custom requires; he then lowers an oak branch to the surface – not deep into the spring – and as the water is stirred water vapour rises from it, like mist, and after a short while the vapour becomes cloud and draws other clouds to it until it makes rain fall on the land of the Arcadians. Pausanias 8.38.4 (pg. 60 of Zeus)

As you can see, this ritual isn’t one done in secret and kept hidden by the priest/esses of the temple like others were, but rather one that might have been the subject of a request to the priest of Zeus Lykaios from the people, so that the priest could make this request to Zeus on their behalf. 

Zeus Polieus (of the City) was worshiped in many Greek cities, often with Athena Polias, the citadel goddess, as his partner. The Athenians preserved an ancient and curious ritual for this god, carried out on the Akropolis at his annual festival, the Dipolieia. Already considered old-fashioned by the Classical period, the Dipolieia ritually linked Zeus’ Archaic role as an agricultural deity with his civic function as a guarantor of justice. According to Pausanias (1.24.4): They put barley mixed with wheat on the altar of Zeus and leave no guard there. The ox that they have ready for the sacrifice goes to the altar and touches the grains. They call one of the priests the Ox-Slayer (Bouphonos); [after striking the ox] he drops the axe and flees, for this is the custom. And refusing to recognize the man who did the deed, they put the axe on trial. (Ancient Greek Cults)

The special title of the Ox-Slayer priest brings up the different titles and positions for cult officials in hellenic polytheism, which I will go into more detail about in a future post. However, this example reiterates the idea that priest/esses would preside over ritual animal sacrifice as one of their primary functions within their temples or sanctuaries.  This post definitely got a little bit longer than expected, but I hope it was useful nonetheless! If you have any wish to hear about a specific aspect of hellenic priesthood, feel free to send in an ask!

Sources:

Priesthood by Leopold Sabourin, Priestesses in Ancient Greece by Matthew P. J. Dillon, Zeus by Ken Dowden, Ancient Greek Cults by Jennifer Larson.

[thornescratch]

Capitals: Mic'd up @tom_wilso. Need we say more?

Yeah, I have a mic on today, guys, so speak PG. HEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYY. Wooooooooo, what a bonnet. (laughing after getting crushed in the corner by Backstrom) What a goal. That was a Red Army goal. Pass, pass, goal. I got benched already, boys. Whiffed on it, huh? A goal is a goal, though, Mikey. That's how a lot of mine go in. A lot of fucking toughness on that back end, Lewy and Dilly. Faceoff, O? (laughing after getting crushed in the corner by Dillon) Dilly, you have to fucking send a message over there? Gudie! Off the melon? (laughing) Pass off the jersey, Kovy, nice, though. Marty looks like Chris Chelios with that tan. Sorry, Johnny, I'll get that one out of the way when we play on our own team. (laughs) Sexy is coming in hot there. (laughing when Siegenthaler crashes into the boards) OH, long arm! FINISH HIM! FINISH HIM! I got fuckin' Lewy, Snarls, Dilly, I'm fuckin' in over my head here! Fuckin' lotta meat back there! That's why I kept quiet!

Tom Wilson, mic’d for practice and laughing every time someone hits him or hits anything, really.

[jrueships]

still thinking about jaren on podcast p

[gorogues]

Fictober 2022

Prompt number #20 Fanfiction Fandom: Flash Rogues Rating: PG-13 Warnings: Profanity.

Day Twenty: “There’s only us.”

It wasn’t the first time they’d seen a Multiversal threat.  But it was the first time they’d decided to step up.

“So you all know the deal,” Len began.  “Some fucked-up interdimensional demon things are running loose all over the world, and when they grab hold of you and stare into your eyes, you turn into one of them.  The ‘heroes’ are trying to stop them at their source, so the cities are left unprotected and it’s up to the rest of us to keep `em from burning.”

“Still think we should let it burn,” Mick said sullenly, though everyone ignored him.

“Nobody’s obliged to help,” Len reminded the assembled Rogues.  “Anyone who wants to hide, escape, or go on a crime spree is free to do so without judgment.  But the rest of us are gonna keep the peace in the Twin Cities.  Any questions?”

“What happens if one of us gets turned?” Lisa asked, and Len looked deeply pained.  He was imagining it happening to her.

“Let’s hope it never comes to that,” was all he could say, turning away so the others couldn’t see the worry on his face.  He checked his watch, which provided an opportunity to distract himself from those thoughts.  “Mardon and Dillon are due back with scouting reports in two minutes.”

Mark and Roscoe returned separately within the next few minutes, both looking tired and haggard.

“It’s bad out there,” Mark said quietly, shaking his head.  “Lotta demons.”

“And they’re converting people all the time,” Roscoe added.  “Civilians try to make a run for it, but are easily caught and turned.  I paused on the ground for a moment and one of the demons grabbed hold of my hand, but fortunately I was able to spin away.” 

He held up his palm and there was a moderately sized scorch mark on it, prompting Lisa to begin fussing over him.

“So we got our work cut out for us,” Len concluded grimly.  “Any guesses on how many demons are in the two cities right now?”

“Somewhere between seven and twelve thousand, and their numbers are growing all the time,” Mark replied, and Roscoe nodded in agreement.  Both were taking advantage of the rare opportunity to rest while they could.

“Okay then.  Are the stockpiles ready?”

“Every working weapon is here or in one of the supply depots, ready for action,” Hartley confirmed, holding up his inventory sheet.  “Sam’s readied the medical and food supplies here and in the other safehouses, so we can eat, sleep, and get patched up if there’s an injury.”

“I’ve already prepared the plans for feeding and sheltering civilians,” James said.

“Then I guess it’s time to head out.  You all know what you need to do, and where the other hideouts are.  Let’s go protect the cities,” Len announced calmly.

And they stepped out into new territory.

[darklingichor]

The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton *Major Spoilers*

I did not plan to revisit this one because I still have it mostly memorized from when I read it over and over as a teenager.

I loved this book so much, even though my life was worlds away from Ponyboy's, I related to him.

This is probably the most influential book I've ever read. I found out it was written when S.E. Hinton was a teen and I thought "Maybe I can do it too."

I soon found that I was far too sensitive to let people read what I wrote, I couldn't get around the idea of pouring part of myself into something and having someone tell me it sucks.

Now, I realize that's pretty rich considering this blog, but I couldn't do it as a kid and even now it feels a little like saying "please judge my spleen for your liking. If it is found lacking, by all means throw it in the shredder. Fear not, I will feel every cut."

This is why very few people have ever read my fiction.

That's also why, with a couple of exceptions I try to be very respectful of every book I read.

Anyway, what made me return to The Outsiders was that I discovered that there was a 50th anniversary edition. This hardcover has extras, my finger was hitting buy before I even registered it.

So, reread it for the first time in a long time.

I sank into the sweet nostalgia of the story. Reading this book is like sliding on a well worn pair of jeans. This book introduced me to Robert Frost.

I taught myself to type using the poem "Nothing Gold Can Stay" because I had it memorized and would never get tired of it.

I still love the friendships and family bonds presented in the story. I still got a knot in my throat when Johnny died and Dally lost everything. I cried when Ponyboy found Johnny's letter. By God, but I still love this book.

I did notice that some things hit differently now than they did even when I read it once in my 20's.

The first thing I noticed is akin to when you watch The Little Mermaid as an adult and Arial says that she's sixteen and not a kid

and you laugh out loud because, girl, you are a zygote, shush!

When Cherry says to Ponyboy, she could fall in love with Dallas Winston so she hopes she never sees him m again. When I was a kid reading this,familar with The Breakfast Club, Grease, etc, this seemed like a natural statement.

Now? My first thought was "Oh honey, you're more screwed up than I remembered." Because from their first interaction, Cherry would fall in love with a catcalling construction worker.

Ponyboy says that Dallas said something "Really filthy".  In the movie, he asks Cherry howhe was suppose to know if her hair was really red, like her eyebrows were. A roundabout way of asking if the carpet matches the drapes. Bad enough and in the context of the 1960's that might have been dirty enough to be censored from the orginal manuscript, but I always imagined it was worse than that.

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, after all, Dally wasn't so much a step up or down from Bob, as a step to the side.

Honestly when I was fourteen and reading this for the first time, I didn't think much of Cherry, I thought she was fake, and very stupid. She was older than me, but I knew it was massively fucked up not to admit she dated a bad guy.

  I see her as sad now, and she's a much darker character She's painted as someone with integrity, someone with principles.

She wouldn't take a Coke from Dally.

She tells Bob that it's her or the booze.

Won't take a pop from a hood, threatens to break it off with her boyfriend if he continues to drink. Okay, understandable.

Realize he beat the tar out of, and pschologically scarred a kid for kicks?

He was sweet sometimes.

What?

He was something special.

She says to the kid he and his friends attempted to murder. 

"He wasn't just any boy."

Right you are, Cherry. Incidentally, did you have any pets disappear while you dated him?

She's a mixed up girl.

I had many a head cannon for the characters in this book when I first read it.

I thought Ponyboy would grow up to be a writer, Darryl would open his own roofing business, Soda and Steve would work for him while fixing cars on the side. Two-Bit would work with them when he felt like it, or he would end up hitching to California to be a stand-up comic.

I thought Cherry would end up married to someone who worked for her father, who I imagined was a lawyer.

After this read through? I adjusted that future.

We met Randy again in That was Then, This Is Now. He's a hippie, which makes perfect sense. I see Cherry running off to Haight Ashbury. I don't get farther than losing sight of her red hair on a crowded, sunny sidewalk, but I get the same spooky vibe I always got after reading Rumble Fish.

Something else that hit differently, the relationships between the boys.

It hit differently for me because I know now why I love it so much.

I remember being  in a major reading slump before I picked up this book. See, I couldn't get into the books that were marketed to me. I wasn't in to RL Stine, except for the history of Fear Street books. I couldn't get into Christopher Pike at all.

I was reading mysteries and westerns, but I really wanted something that had people my age in it that wasn't a romance or sick lit. I'd read enough of those, and I thought that if I read one more book where boy meets girl then one of them croaks I would scream.

So I went to my mom's bookshelf, and found her copy.

I really loved that the real connections that are focused on, are between friends and family. These connections were not treated as being less than a romantic relationship. In fact, just the opposite, the gang see each other as their cement relationships. Soda and his girlfriend Sandy break up, he's hurt and it adds to an already rough time, but it is not a focus.

I suppose it could be argued that the reason for the lack of focus on romance has to do with the fact that Pony states that he's not thinking of it yet. But seeing how all of the gang look out for each other from Darryl keeping the Curtis's door unlocked in case one of the boys needed a place to crash, to everyone looking out for Johnny, to Johnny staying with Pony when he was upset after his fight with Darry, and looking out for him when they were in hiding, to Dallas helping them find a place to go after Bob was killed, to Pony sticking by Johnny after the killing, to Two-Bit sticking up for Johnny when his mother came to the hospital  and how broken up he was when Ponyboy got sick, and finally how one of Johnny's last acts was to write Ponyboy a letter that he hoped would help both Pony and Dallas.

These are not friendships that end when everyone starts dating.

This seems like a "duh" statement, but you have to think, so many things show friendships as training wheels. Something you use until you reach the next level and find a romantic partner. And, maybe this was just my small town, but that was very much the way things went around me, it was expected.

It was great to read a book about kids around my age who didn't see friendships as inferior to romantic relationships.

Now, knowing that I'm Aro Ace, I think I liked it because it spoke to what I thought was important without making it seem like something I needed to grow out of.

The extras were cool, letters between the author and the editors when the book was in the works, letters from the actors who played Pony, Johnny, Soda, Dallas, and Randy.

It was interesting to read the actors' feelings about characters they played so early in their careers. I was half hoping Matt Dillon would apologize for choking on, and embodying that gigantic piece of ham during the death scene, but one can't get everything in life.

I could read the other SE Hinton books, and talk about the connections between them, but I will likely skip That was Then, This is Now and Rumble Fish.

See, I didn't like That Was Then This Is Now very much when I first read it. A big reason? I didn't like Bryon. There was just something about the character that rubbed me the wrong way.

He's... I don't know... he's like Two-Bit without the charm. Plus, Ponyboy is featured, but Bryon hates him. It seems out of jelousy because of all the stuff that had happened in The Outsiders. And he hates him even more *because* he's quiet about it. I get distancing the last book from the next and that was an effective way of doing it, but when I was younger it just made me not like the character all the more.

I've read it a few times since I was younger, wondering if it would improve as I aged. It didn't.

Bryon is still mostly unlikeable. Plus, I grew up in the Frying an Egg, Diving into an Empty Swimming Pool, DARE, era of drug awareness. The whole book felt like a PG-13 version of The Buttercream Gang. Now that I have sufficiently aged myself...

Rumble Fish, I loved, but like I said, it's an unsettling story and one that left me oddly unsatisfied.

I really enjoyed the next two, Tex and Taming the Star Runner so I may revisit those.

[revchainsaw]

Psycho Goreman (2020)

Good Evening my Congregation and welcome to tonight's service. Few films have come to me with so much hype preceding them as this offering, Psycho Goreman. Get ready to get goopy and enjoy some fantastic effects.

The Message

Psycho Goreman is the story of a little girl and her interdimensional warlord friend. So it's basically the same basic layout as the short lived and underappreciated animated series Golan the Insatiable. Except in this case instead of a violent misunderstood goth 5 year old named Dillon, we have a self obsorbed screaming preteen named Mimi and boy howdy is she a fucking brat. Accompanying her and suffering the brunt of her abuse is her loving brother Luke, and he must be really fucking stupid to let a little girl stomp all over his shit like this. Well anyway one day our incredibly unlikeable protaganists discover an ancient gemstone, which of course Mimi, in keeping with her utterly bratty character, claims.

The next day after they get done ripping off calvinball Mimi and Luke wander haplessly into an abandoned shoe factory in something I think is a Jumanji reference. There they discover that they had accidentally freed an interdimensional warlord who Mimi names Psycho Goreman. PG as they call him (and I guess that the initials in and of themselves are supposed to be an ironic joke), is basically a combination of a Cenobite and a He-Man villain. Possession of the stone allows Mimi to bully PG as much as she does everyone else around her and they get into hijinks that sounds a lot more fun on paper than it plays out on screen.

1) They sing an obnoxiously stupid cringy song that comes back in the finale

2) They turn a cop into a melty fun time gun hand boy (hilarious).

3) They turn Mimi's crush Aleister (a hamfisted reference itself) into a prop from Garth Merenghi's Dark Place.

4) They dress PG up as Alan Grant from Jurassic Park.

5) They fight Gwar.

6) They do the whole "I can't say sorry" bit from Judge Dredd, twice!

So on and so forth. Eventually an android angel from a theocratic fascist alien race comes down to cleanse the world of PG's evil and a climactic battle ensues. It is then interrupted by a horrible reprisal of the cringey "funny" song, and a bunch of really tonally obnoxious jokes, and yet another game of calvinball. This does provide a great gag regarding sports that I think was a pointed commentary about the kind of people that would sit down and watch something like Psycho Goreman, and if it wasn't then it should have been. And then PG defeats his enemies, learns what the power of love is, and because this movie is a wet dream for a fourteen year old edge lord who was "born in the wrong generation" we get a very cheap perversion of that lesson as PG vows to use the power of love to destroy the universe. Waka waka. wasn't that so kooky and violent.

Okay let's get to the Benediction

Worst Character: ME ME ME ME MIMI

Mimi was just plain freaking obnoxious. I don't try to disparage child actors but this kid obviously was not into this movie. Every line was delivered with a derpy face like the kid could not think doing this film was a bigger waste of her time. I think she thought this was stupid, and I don't think the film makers cared if anyone on set gave a single fuck about playing the gags straight. The thing is the movie doesn't work if the over the top evil of the creatures is played like everyone is in on it, or are just as fucking awful. There are better ways to do this type of character and an utterly freaking overly confident brat is not a way to get a laugh out of the audience. The human characters that appear in this movie are all completely without charm and I don't care if anything bad happens to them, in fact I want them all to be horribly hurt, but most of all Mimi. Hated her delivery, hated her singing, her posing, her smile, her stilted inhuman dialogue. This was a very grating character among very grating characters.

Worst Aspect: Hey! Get it? But Do You Get it?

Even in the face of how utterly unenjoyable our heroes are in this comedy. It's not even the tip of the iceberg in terms of flaws. I wish that Psycho Goreman had given up the pretense of having a plot, because at every turn the filmmakers bombard the audience with references to better movies. If this was supposed to be so fun and bonkers or even a treat for fans, then how come I just wanted to turn it off and watch those other movies? It eventually felt less like easter eggs and homages, and more like a cheap ploy to trick dumb people into thinking they are getting a love letter to the genre, when all you're really getting is a pandering mess that eyeball fucks you while shouting "get it! remember Phantasm? Remember He-Man? Get It?

Best Effect: ART!!!!

Before people begin to champion Psycho Goreman to me, or say that it just offended me, or some other asinine attempt to write off the fact that the movie did not competently entertain, allow me to point out that I get it. I just thought it had A LOT of problems, and I don't think those should just be ignored because "it's supposed to be over the top" or it's "supposed to be stupid", but was it supposed to be annoying?

Anyway, there were several solid points that got literal chuckles from me and many of them were oopy, doopy, and indeed goopy. Early on in the film in particular is a scene where PG has turned the shoe warehouse into the obelisk from Hellraiser, and off to the side is a victim whose eyes are rolling like the blades of a circular saw inside of his eyelids as his face is frozen in terror. How absolutely freaking creative and it looks so good to boot. It's just a brilliantly effective way to demonstrate to the audience that this man has entered some sort of comatose psychic hellscape without showing us what he is seeing. I've never seen it done this way, and I just loved it. Not to mention he blows up a moment later into one of the most pleasingly bloody messes in recent films and then his mouth words "thank you" before becoming just another floating chunk in a pool of viscera. It's amazing. PG called this piece his masterpiece but I can't help but think he was standing in for the effects guy when giving that piece of dialogue.

Best Character: An Officer and a Gentleman

In a meandering aimless herd of narcissistic turds without agency, and children whos best attempts to come off as precocious just become the worst demonstrations of toddler terrorism that the Disney channel has to offer, who can we turn to to give us joy? There is but one answer. The only character who can melt your heart is Melt Man! The police officer that PG turned into a soulless husk is immediately absorbed into a group of heroes, with his gun permanently fused to his arm he shuffles his grotesquery around like a lost puppy and constantly seeks his own liquidation. He's so cute and endearing. I just want to give him a hug, but I don't know where my raincoat is.

Best Kill: Meat Cube!

Oddly enough the best kill of Psycho Goreman is not committed by the titular Goreman, but by his primary adversary. Our angelic avenger asks to have a human being presented to her as she intends on going to Earth. One would assume at this point in the film that she was gathering information but ... nope! Pandora is as evil as P.G. if not worse. She immediately offs the poor woman she was offered by turning her into a perfectly delicious looking cube of ground beef and then smashes it. If that was not a real cube of meat I'd be shocked. It was very effective, very visceral, and strangely sophisticated murder for how bloody it turned. It's not the most explosive kill of Psycho Goreman but it IS certainly unique, and for a movie that is in many ways nostalgia porn, every bit of novelty stands out.

Worst Effect: Read my Lips!

I would gladly display action figures of any of the aliens-interdimensional beings that we see in Psycho Goreman. They are all so different and cool to look at, it's really fun to see that the film makers did not limit themselves to a dim or generic look for all of their henchmen. These alien beings all seem like they have different stories and I'd be interested to follow any one of them in a comic book series. There is however one flaw to the costumes. This is a minor gripe, but very few of these creatures are voiced by the performers in the costumes and at times the syncing of the words to the mouth movements become distracting. I almost wish they had been speaking in alien languages and just given subtitles to distract from this issue.

Best Creature Design: Be Not Afraid!

Of the smorgasbord of monsters we are treated to in Psycho Goreman I'd have to say that the one that just looks the best for my money is Pandora. That All white, LED lit, costume does look like a really good cosplay, but the design is nonetheless effective. She's straight out of an anime or from a Digimon game. Something about that clean smooth scifi look is just so otherworldly and draws the eye. It does also allow for the faults of a costume to be more prominent and thus is harder to pull off. I think there's a reason she features so heavily on the P.G. Merch.

Honorable Mention to Bucket of Guts guy. He's just a bucket of guts, so I couldn't really say that was the 'best' design, but it's really freaking funny and notable.

Best Gag: Paper Hearts

I also enjoyed the oft quoted "hunky boys" gag, which let's face it, we need more LGBTQ representation in our intergalactic supervillains, I hope PG can be as happy with himself as the Babadook and Pennywise. I think it very well would've been my favorite, but I'm a contrarian at heart and like to think outside the box when I can. I'm going to give the best gag award to my baby boy Melt-Man. I don't know how begging for the sweet release of death can be so sweet, but I loved that he handed Mimi a paper heart that just read, "Please Kill Me!" after she'd ordered him to write her love notes!

Summary

Psycho Goreman is not awful. But it has awful elements. I really enjoyed the filmmakers previous film the Void and both these movies are effects masterpieces. I find it incredibly annoying that Psycho Goreman almost immediately became a sacred cow for the genre community. I was promised an Evil Dead 2, and this was just plainly blasphemy to compare the two. If all you think it takes to make an Evil Dead 2 is corny dialogue and lots and lots of blood and viscera then we'd have a lot more masterpieces on our hands, but there's a earnestness to a movie like Evil Dead that is just not there with Psycho Goreman. PG has a lot of tone issues. The script is nihilistic about it's characters and therefore I don't give a fuck about them, and that just doesn't work. How can you expect an audience to care about anything that happens to your characters if the script shows us we shouldn't. It's supposed to be tongue and cheek but the actors think the film is so stupid that they can't be bothered to play it straight, thus the jokes are weakened. It often feels like no one but the effects crews gave a single shit about this movie and it shows all over the place. Props to the hardworking people that gave us so much eye candy, but Psycho Goreman is no sacred cow, it's barely enjoyable enough to warrant it's run time. I think this movie would have been a much funnier half hour episode in an anthology than a feature length film.

Overall Grade: C

[moriavis]

My first prompt to you! Um um okay -thinks- OH, uh, if you'd like, Coldflash, biker gang!au? 50s, modern, or futuristic! Up to you ^-^ Maybe they're in opposing gangs and form an alliance? Maybe Barry's their science guy who Len takes an interest in? Maybe Barry's a new meta that the Rogues gang take an interest in recruiting? -flails- I dunnoooo >.<

Ha. Ha. OMG, so this has apparently been sitting in my askbox for two years I’M SO SORRY.

Do I have more prompts that are two years or older? Yes. Yes, I do. I’m trying, guys. <3

For now, I hope you all enjoy this one! Welcome to a No Powers AU where motorcycles are only mentioned sparingly, and everything is PG. ^^; (Also on AO3)

~*~

Everyone in Central City knew to leave the Rogues out of the races. They were intense, unpredictable, and you were more likely to crash your bike trying to avoid their stunts than lose the pink slip fair and square. They brought too much attention to the scene. 

Even Cisco agreed, and he was so into Lisa that aliens could see it from space.

Despite the unanimous exclusion, Barry wasn't entirely surprised when the Rogues showed up at the Friday races anyway. "Told you they wouldn't stick to the ban," Oliver murmured.

Barry shrugged. "The Lian Yu team didn't like it either, but they learned." 

He folded his arms over his chest and cocked his head to the side as he counted them. Lisa, of course, with an uncustomary sulk on her narrow, gorgeous face; Mardon, easily recognizable with his visor popped up; Rosa Dillon, popping gum loudly as she inspected her nails.

Sara swaggered up to Barry and stood at Oliver's side. "You want me to take care of them?"

Barry shook his head. "No. They're a Central group. They'd be offended if outsiders read them the rulesheet."

Sara snorted and rolled her eyes. "Territorial bastards, all of you."

Barry laughed and ran his hand through his hair. "We're not all that bad. Square up. We're doing this the right way." 

The three of them gathered together in a triangle, and Sara said, "On three. One. Two. Three."

Oliver beat Barry's paper with scissors, and Barry scowled good-naturedly as he turned to Sara for the second round and lost again, rock to paper.

"Cheer up, kiddo," Sara said, reaching up on tiptoes to ruffle Barry's hair. "They wouldn't have wanted us to be the ones to send them away."

Barry sighed and turned to the Rogues, who—bizarrely—had stayed back patiently, as if they were waiting for someone.

Barry straightened his shoulders, took a deep breath, and walked toward Lisa. "We don't want any trouble with you."

"If it were up to me, we wouldn't be here." Lisa folded her arms over her chest, her glare intensifying.

Barry folded his arms over his chest. "It's not up to you?"

The sound of an engine cut through the air, and he turned to meet the newcomer—his bike was a gorgeous and sleek Ducati, painted in blues and silvers. Barry was impressed despite himself. Whoever the newcomer was sure had a sense of style.

From the corner of his eye, he saw Lisa's scowl morph into an amused grin, and then the new rider kicked the stand down and pulled off their helmet. 

Barry's breath caught in his throat. He was frozen, catapulted instantly back to the past, where he was fifteen and everything he wanted was encapsulated in the man next door who always had motorcycle grease on his hands.

His palms were sweaty. He wasn't even wearing his good jeans, and he was going to kill Lisa.

"Hey, Lenny." Barry's voice was weak and thready, but he didn't even care, butterflies coming to life in his stomach with a surge of nerves. The narrow blue hazel eyes. The smirk. Oh, god, he'd started going silver.

Leonard gave Barry a slow once over, and Barry gravitated a step or two closer. "It's been a minute, kid."

Barry licked his lips, his heart pounding like a drum. "Yeah, it's… I didn't even know you were back."

"Trainwreck's been blowing up my phone over this racing gig you've got going on. Thought I'd come see what the excitement was all about." He got off his bike and dangled his helmet off one of the handlebars before he turned his attention back to Barry. He stepped closer, and his voice was low in a way that sent shivers down Barry's spine when he spoke again. "Maybe you and I can come to an arrangement."

Barry jerked his head to point out Oliver and Sara. "The arrangement has to make sense to them, too."

Leonard shot them a dismissive glance and fastened his attention back on Barry. "Let 'em race. I'll keep them under control, and anyone who gets too frisky is out. Cross my heart." He drew an X over his heart and smiled, the slow curl of his lips leaving Barry reeling.

Without a word, Barry turned on his heel and walked back over to Oliver and Sara. 

"Rawr." Sara arched her eyebrow. "You okay there, Barry? You look like you've been hit by a truck."

"Whatever he said to you, the answer's no." Oliver said, crossing his arms over his chest and glowering past Barry.

Barry gathered himself together with a small shake of his head. "He said that if we let them race, he'll keep them following the rules. He'll take care of anyone who doesn't."

"And you believe him?" Sara asked.

Barry nodded. "Lisa and Len were my neighbors growing up. Lisa's a bit out there, but Len kind of keeps her under control. Mostly."

"Mostly." Oliver frowned. "Yeah, that's exactly what I like to hear about the group that almost got us all arrested."

"I trust him, Ollie," Barry said firmly, narrowing his eyes. "I mean, yeah, chances are Lisa dragged him back to Central because I'm more likely to listen to him, but it'll backfire. She hates being under his thumb."

"That'll be interesting," Sara said, shooting another look toward the Rogues.

"Fine," Oliver spat. "Fine. But only because I trust you." Barry beamed at Oliver, who scowled for good measure and turned back to his bike. 

Now that they all agreed, Barry went back to Len. "Okay. They can rejoin. Keep your promise, or they'll be ejected permanently this time."

Axel whooped, punching Mark's shoulder in excitement, and Lisa shook her head, sauntering up to Len's side. "Guess I should've pulled out the big guns months ago."

Barry pursed his lips as he looked at Lisa, but he couldn't find anything else to say, so he just shook his head. "No funny business this time, okay?"

Lisa smiled another one of her enigmatic smiles, and then turned back to the other Rogues. "We're free to mingle, ladies and gentlemen. Have fun, and remember to behave."

It was going to be a disaster.

Barry sighed softly to himself and headed back to his own bike. It took a second for him to realize that Len was walking along with him. Barry turned just enough to see Len without stopping. "Are you racing?"

"Depends," Len said easily, giving Barry that crooked smile that he loved way too much. "Is the Scarlet Speedster going to be on the track?"

"Ugh, you've heard that one, too?"

Len shrugged. "I like the alliteration."

"Well, the answer is no," Barry said firmly. "Not tonight, at least." He steered them away from the noise of the crowd as the races began in earnest, and stole another look. "How long are you staying?"

"Haven't decided yet. 'M staying long enough to make Lisa regret asking me to come back." They laughed together at that, and then fell quiet, watching as Shawna won her race against Zari. Len cleared his throat, and Barry startled, embarrassed that he was so hyper aware of Len, even after all these years. "Lisa told me you went to college in Keystone."

"Uh. Yeah. Aced my classes, too."

"Should I be hurt that you didn't visit me?"

Barry rubbed his hand over his face. Fifteen minutes, and Len was already pulling out all the embarrassing feelings he'd had when he was sixteen. His flustered, agitated longing. He stole another look at Len and promptly flushed when he realized Len was looking at him. 

"You know why," he whispered. "You know why I didn't visit."

Len stared at Barry for another long minute, and then nodded once, short and sharp. "Okay."

"Okay," Barry echoed, although he didn't really know what okay was in this context. "Great. It's been nice seeing you again."

"Are you still living with the Wests?"

Barry startled again and fought the urge to just throw up his hands and walk away. This was stupid. He was stupid. He was supposed to be done with this a decade ago, and it was freaking impossible, how Leonard Snart just breezed into his life and made him a skittish teenager all over again. "No, I've… I've got my own place."

Len nodded again, a thoughtful look crossing his face. "Do you remember the stink eye Joe used to give Lisa when I brought her over to play with you and Iris?"

"No," Barry said honestly. "Joe was never the one I was looking at."

Len swallowed and looked down at his feet. "Barry, I—"

"Can we just—not do this now?" Barry interrupted, running his hand through his hair as he looked away, toward the next race that was setting up. "I'm embarrassed and we're in public, and I don't want to talk about anything tonight."

"Okay," Len agreed, and Barry was grateful that he could at least follow the flow of his thoughts this time. "Give me your address, and I'll come around. Wednesday, maybe?"

Something blue-screened in Barry's head, and he heard himself say, "Sure. Bring dinner. Pizza or something."

Leonard shot him a cautious—almost grateful?—look and nodded. "I can do that. Wednesday, then."

There was a low droning in Barry's ears as he held out his hand for Len's cell and accessed his contacts. It grew into static when Barry realized Len still had his old number programmed, and he wondered with a brief flash of alarm if he was just going to have a panic attack right here.

Somehow, shockingly, he managed to give Len his phone back and then walked away, toward the other side of the long stretch of road they currently occupied, all like he was a perfectly normal person who knew where his body was. Someone handed him a beer, and he twisted the top off, staring at Len from a distance. His focus was intent on the current race, and Barry struggled to take a calm breath.

"He could pick me up without breaking a sweat," he breathed.

"You better believe it," Lisa said with a laugh, and Barry jolted back to himself in surprise. "You're still a beanpole, honey."

"I can't believe you told him to come back, Lise. He should've had nothing to do with this."

Lisa pouted, twirling her long, dark hair around her finger. "Can't a girl feel bad? It's an apology."

Barry turned to face her, a frown pulling at his mouth. "It's a fucking mind game, and I don't appreciate it."

Lisa dropped the pout. "Maybe I want you guys to be happy together. Ever think of that?"

Barry raked his hand through his hair. "If you brought him back just for me, I'd say you're crueler than I thought you were."

Lisa raised her hand to his shoulder, pausing when he shrugged her off before she even touched him. "Barr, listen—"

"I'm fresh out of ears tonight," Barry admitted. "I'm going to head home. Just… please. Stop trying to help me, okay?"

Lisa's mouth twisted into another small pout, but she nodded and stepped away.

Barry caught Oliver''s eye and silently let him know he was going, and then he went to his bike, unclipping his helmet and straddling the seat with a surge of relief. There was nothing like being on his Triumph—maybe some time out on the road would help clear his head.

He revved the engine once and spun around to face the road. Another second, and it was just him and his bike and the asphalt beneath his wheels.

No Leonard Snart needed. 

~*~

Come Wednesday, of course, he was a wreck.

Barry woke up too early, a headache pounding in his temples and a message from STAR Labs about one of the laboratory samples he'd processed the day before. Running into work at least shifted his anxiety from Len into a more tolerable work anxiety, and he was able to focus on the lab's backlog of testing samples.

Around six, he got his first text from Len, a simple: Name the time and your pizza toppings.

He needed time to get home and take a shower, and he was about to ask for pepperoni when it occurred to him that it was pork. 8pm and a veggie lovers?

You remembered. :)

Barry took a deep breath and pressed the phone to his forehead, squeezing his eyes shut. That little smiley face was going to end him. 

Of course. See u later.

Concentration thoroughly shot, Barry turned to some paperwork that needed to be filed and used the rest of his shift to get caught up. He skipped out a little early so he could take a shower before Len came over, and then burned some of his restless energy by picking up around his apartment.

At 8pm exactly, there was a knock on the door. Barry counted to five so he didn't seem so eager, and then answered it. Len was dressed down, in dark jeans and one of those moisture-wick long-sleeved shirts, and a chill of sheer want raced down Barry's spine. Just as Len promised, he was balancing a pizza box and a six pack of beer in his hands.

"Hey," Barry said, like he wasn't falling apart at the seams just from seeing Len again.

"Hey." The corner of Len's mouth curled, and Barry stepped aside to let him in.

"I'll get plates," he said unnecessarily, and he stole a minute to get himself under control as he got plates and napkins. "Get it together, Barry. You can spend one night catching up with him."

Hardly satisfied, Barry grabbed everything and headed back into the living room.

The first few minutes were quiet as they got their food and drinks and started in. Barry was trying to avoid looking at Len without looking like he was trying to avoid looking at Len, and he wasn't entirely sure how successful he was.

After two slices of pizza were eaten in the awkward silence, Len cleared his throat. "What is it that the Central City Citizens do?"

Barry grinned, relaxing against the couch as Len brought up a safe topic. "We do coast to coast drives, some charity. I really want to become a local chapter of BACA, but we have to ride with them for a year before they'll consider us."

Something in Len's face lightened as Barry talked, and he looked down at his plate, fiddling with a bit of leftover crust. "So you don't participate in turf wars."

Barry rolled his eyes. "Len. Of course I don't. We have a zero tolerance policy on drug running and murder. The Rogues even mostly agreed. The races we have aren't exactly legal, although it's a good way to blow off steam and kind of have fun together."

Len nodded, setting his plate on the coffee table and turning his full attention back on Barry. "What got them pushed to the sidelines?"

Barry set his plate down and mirrored Len's position, resting his arm on the armrest of the couch as he curled his foot beneath him. "They're thieves and sometimes they make bad decisions that reflect on the rest of us. Mark and Axel decided to rob a bank and go on a high speed joy ride. Got the attention of the CCPD, and then led them almost directly to the rest of us."

Len frowned. "Looks like they aren't serving any time."

Barry shook his head. "Lise has contacts with some lawyers around town. She got it thrown out of court on a technicality. Which, fine, I don't have any hard feelings. But I will stop their behavior from jeopardizing the rest of us."

Len smiled again and nodded in agreement. "I'm proud of you, kid."

"I'm not a kid," Barry said fiercely, meeting Len's eyes. "And I didn't do it for you."

"Touche." Len cocked his head, turning on the laser-focus that Barry had sometimes envied when it wasn't directly pointed at him. "How are you, Barry?"

"I'm fine." Barry met Len's gaze straight on—he wasn't a child anymore, and he wasn't afraid of looking at someone just because he was attracted to them. "Iris is a reporter now. Lisa still comes over for Sunday dinner at the West house. You're the one who left."

"I didn't leave because of you—"

"It sure felt like it!" And there it was, the hurt and embarrassment bubbling to the surface like a lanced wound, the way it always did when he thought of Leonard. "I told you how I felt, and you were practically gone in a week."

Len sighed. "It was bad timing, but I can't say I was sorry about the way things worked out. You were sixteen. What was I supposed to do?"

Barry bolted to his feet. "I love you!" The words dropped like stones between them, leaving ripples of shock in their wake. "Loved." Barry's voice cracked, and he desperately hoped that lightning would just strike him dead where he stood. "I loved you. You could have at least said goodbye. I'd earned that, at least."

Len looked away from Barry, staring at the carpet with a distant, thoughtful look in his eye. "You're right. You did. I'm not perfect, Barry. Sometimes people just screw up."

Barry sighed and turned away from Len, crossing his arms over his chest. "I thought I was over it. That I was over you. And you just waltz back in and turn me inside out like it's nothing."

"It's not nothing." The couch creaked as Len stood, and he took hold of Barry's elbow, turning him around with a gentle touch. His eyes were so dark. 

Barry swallowed and struggled to find his courage. "Don't look at me like that. Not unless you're going to do something about it."

Len stared at Barry and raised his hand, brushing his fingertips against Barry's cheek. It sent shivers racing down his neck, goosebumps rising against his skin. "You're always so impatient."

"I know," Barry admitted. "It's something I've been trying to work on." His fingers twitched at his side. "And maybe there's nothing between us. Maybe it's all been built up in my head for so long that real life can't possibly match up—"

Len pressed his fingers to Barry's mouth, halting the flow of words. "I'm going to kiss you now, if that's okay."

Barry responded by stepping into Len's space, curling his fingers around Len's shoulders and pulling him in. It shouldn't have been good—their lips met a little off center, and Len tasted like pizza and beer, but then Len's hand settled into a solid weight against the small of Barry's back, drawing him in, and the heat of Len's body soaked into Barry in a way that made him want to melt.

Len pulled away first, and Barry licked his lips, dropping his head to Len's shoulder in defeat. "Shit," he said wretchedly.

"What?" Len asked, cupping his hand over Barry's nape and stroking the sensitive skin with his thumb.

"I'm so into you," Barry confessed, and he startled when Len began to laugh.

"Really?" Len's voice was rich with warmth and surprise. "When were you going to tell me? I had no idea."

"I can't believe you're mocking me!" Barry protested, raising his head to glare at Len, who pulled him in and pressed a gentle kiss to Barry's jaw that made him melt again. "You're not fair." He turned his face to try to steal another kiss, and paused. "We can't tell Lisa about this."

"We'll play it cool," Len agreed. "It'll drive her crazy."

Barry stepped away and looked earnestly at Len. "I'll slow down. I'll wait until you're comfortable."

Len averted his eyes, his gaze skittering over the coffee table. "I ain't Grandma Esther's china, Barry."

Barry laughed, soft and embarrassed. "Okay. I take your point. Let me put it this way instead. The Diamonds are playing against the Starlings tonight. Do you want to stay and watch?"

Len smiled, so fast Barry would've missed it if he hadn't been watching like a hawk, and nodded. "Sounds good."

"Just so you know," Barry said as they settled back against the sofa and he turned the TV on, "they're going to get absolutely dusted."

Len shot him a glower. "Those are fighting words. You wanna go?"

Barry smiled until Len turned his attention toward the game. A warm, fizzy sort of hope bubbled in his chest. Maybe this time, he'd be lucky.

~*~