#phoenixwrites charlie

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

Ooooh, you know who died in the 1970s? HUSK.

That could have been a really sweet but mindblowing conversation over the bar one evening, as they're all unwinding from the hype of battle several hours back. No one feels ready to slip into bed yet, the place feels... too new, too big.

It's lovely but it's not yet... home.

And it feels like they need to be near people for just a bit longer. Make sure everyone's still alive and kicking, even if its for love/hate/if i can see you you're not doing evil nonsense reasons.

Angel mentions that the pentagram looks even prettier tonight, knowing they'd won... and laughs at the absurdity of finding something like that beautiful. The red that permeates everything was a nightmare mostly, and it doubled as the portal from Heaven.

Might as well admire the craftsmanship of a knife as it struck at your throat.

'The lack of stars can make things quite droll', Alastor agrees, absently. 'Intriguing that you can miss something as simple as moonlight.'

'Hmm, some nights Me'n'Molly - my twin- we'd make up stories about what was up there. Like, the moon must be huge and it just hung there all bright and shiny at night, and the stars winked at you like they had some fun secrets to share. Helped to make us feel like there was more than just... the Family. You know? Like no matter what happened to us there was a whole world out there to escape to."

In an uncharacteristic moment of sharing, Alastor adds, "Indeed, as a young child I... often needed the fleeting moonbeams to assist my way in the bayou, evading my-... hmmm, a family member who thought only of violence no matter the reason. It always seemed quite helpful in showing where not to tread..." and deepened the shadows one could stand in as someone blundered past."

Oh. Husk finds himself glancing down at the grinning shade on the floor, curling about Alastor's lower legs. That... explained a bit, actually. The former overlord glances at Alastor and realises that the Boss may not have even flagged just how much he'd given away with that statement. Ah, let him have it. Husk knew they all had skeletons in the closet, best not to go jiggling the handle.

Angel's hand hovered over Alastor's arm in some sort of sympathy, but didn't make contact. "Yeah, Smiles... my old man was a bastard like that too. Thats why me'n'Mols were always dreaming of escape... always wondering if there was some magical city under the sea, or deep in a rainforest, or up on the moon we could get to and hide in. Never worked out though."

"...is he down here?" Alastor asks, head tilting too sharply. The bartender's ear flicked, intrigued by the implied offer; hells, he'd help too, if Boss would allow it, didn't even need to go yanking Husk's chain, neither.

"He... yeah. That's how I wound up with Val in the first place. Ran into my fuckin' dad and needed rescue, some of Val's workers stepped in to help cause I was near a club he owned... and then, well, the moth got me." Angel grumbled bitterly. Husk took his empty glass and slid something new back. "Thanks Whiskers. You ever... you ever dream of being somewhere else?"

"Not the moon, no. Though there were a lotta kid's stories about it being made of cheese and all which sounded like a bad time for the lactose intolerant. But there were times I wished I could live somewhere else..." Husker replied, resting his forearms upon the bartop. "Though... all this talk reminds me of the day they launched old Apollo 11. I saw it on the television, everyone stopped that day, just to watch... all the adults in their office buildings and kids in their classrooms crowding the televisions. Those that had 'em, of course, others ran to shopfronts to See the big moment. And then of course, they televised the moment Neil Armstrong stepped onto the moon itself, which broke all previous ratings metrics. One small step for man and all that. One of the craziest things to witness... just didn't feel real."

He's snapped out of his reverie by the clear shock blasting across the room, and the sharp warble of confused radio burble from the boss.

"You're shitting me!" Angel gasped, all four hands on the bar as if bracing himself for the 'gotcha!' of a prank well sprung.

"…no, I don't believe Husker was one for imaginative lies." Alastor narrows his eyes, trying to process the idea of the moon that used to light his path through the bayou now bearing human footprints. "Exceptionally talented at cards, at chance and misdirection and reading people... but not one for elaborate tales of fantasy. "

"Hey, look, don't believe me if you want but... how did you not know, Legs? Don't you use the internet and all? And you, Al... didn't Vox ever mention it? I'm sure the bastard must've been one of the presenters 'round that time?" Husk replies in disbelief. How could they NOT know?

"Er, yeah... but it's not like I ever googled 'did someone put a human on the moon' at any point like, that never crossed my mind. Here we could, cause of the magic and shit, but there? Toasters were new. Radios and television had just gone mainstream! how the FUCK did they get someone up there?" Angel tugs at his own hair in shocked surprise, pupils blown from the revelation.

"And you simply can't trust anything those Vees allow on their systems, in anycase!" Alastor rallies, his hand comes up and aborts the movement quickly as Husk narrows his eyes. This would be the part where Al would twirl his cane, to make a point. His theatrical ass couldn't help himself sometimes... so where was it?

Before he can ask, Lucifer swoops past. Literally. Alighting by them all with a gust of oddly apple-scented wind.

"You talking about the moon? Hah, it's not the most exciting planet we put in this solar system, but I was proud of it. One of the first things Uriel ever made, and I gave them a hand because they were sooooooo nervous! The joy on their faces when it first caught the sunlight... er, I don't think humans can conceptualise of how it looked, they have about fourty-seven mouths, but they were smiling like a nebulae!" He beams, reminding them all accidentally how ancient and powerful he was.

There was a brief moment where several mortal minds attempted to imagine that, and got the stirrings of a sharp headache instead.

"Wait you made the MOON?" Husk asks, quirking an eyebrow. "The fuckin' MOON?!"

"Hold up, other planets? How many of 'em are there?" Angel interjects, mouth mildly agape. His father hadn't really cared for anything outside of the city, so the kids in the household unfortunately had a limited curriculum. "Dad... he burned the book we stole from the library, it was about space. Saw something about Mars and Mercury, and a big planet, but most of it was charcoal after he tossed it into the fireplace... all I know it started with a J. And there was a spot they think, like a big storm... saw it through one of those big lenses in the new science buildings at the local university. Always wanted to go see through it."

"Jupiter." Lucifer replies, his expression softening momentarily. He, also, loved learning... and had been denied by his father. "There's 9... technically there were ten but humans decided to be ridiculous and classify Pluto as a dwarf planet because it wasn't big enough by their definition." He automatically whirls on Alastor, and points menacingly. "DO NOT."

"Why I was only going to say that humanity, much like heavenly divininity, seem to discard and discount things as too small for note... when perhaps they should have changed the metric."

Lucifer frowns. "Hold on, that was too nice. Are you dying? Did you get a concussion?"

Alastor rolls his eyes. "Why, little majesty, I was simply saving us all from the inevitable 'size doesn't matter it's how you use it' reference our dear Angel here has spring-loaded on his tongue at all times. If you want to hear it, I'm sure he will oblige."

Angel, for his part, sinked lasciviously. "Y'know what else I got spring-loaded on this obliging tongue, majesty?"

Husk let his head drop to the bartop, incoherent mumbling escaped.

"Oh do cheer up Husker, " Alastor chides. "You chose to adore the arachnid, you deal with his ridiculousness and lewd affectations."

"Oooh, you want my lewd affectations aimed at you Deer Daddy?" Angel flutters his eyelids, and laughed as Alastor rolls his eyes right into radio dials and back again. "Yeah, yeah... ah, fuck... ya face is hilarious when I pull this. But... seriously Short King, can you... tell us a bit about space? If you got a minute? Don't have to be now."

Lucifer seems... taken aback. Just the merest hint of tears in his eyes, as if no one has ever asked him to share his knowledge, or something. Husk and Angel and Alastor, all used to reading people in their own ways, feel something akin to sympathy pang through them. One of them pointedly stabs the sensation like an errant pest, and pretends no such emotion ever occurred. Not for the little monarch, he had too many bones to pick with the former angel.

"Of course I can... if you don't mind if I get side tracked? I can ramble, and it annoys people sometimes..." the King shrinks into himself slightly. His wings curl inward, and the desire to provide comfort alights in many a long-dead heart.

Of all of them, it is Alastor who offers a response. "Whyever would that matter? Half the fun of sharing information is trapping the audience in place as you do so, your lowness. You literally have the power to make people listen, don't tell me you've not used it?"

It's more goading than motivational, but it works. There's a brief flicker of hellfire at those temples.

"Not everyone wants to force their opinion on people!"

"Again, whyever not? Which foolish creature told someone like you, an odd little ancient thing that I suspect could talk for decades without pause on a favoured topic, to be still and silent? And moreover, why on earth or any of the other planes... did you bother to listen?"

"I-... what? Seriously, did you get a concussion?"

Alastor laughed. "Husker here is a former overlord, little ruler, and I am a current one. When we want to say something, people are made to listen... and you, the actual Devil, king of Hell's 7 Rings and unfortunately the best line of defence we have against Heaven despite his duck obsession, are the one cringing back with chains of self-doubt? Even when asked to expound on a topic we are actively interested in?"

"...you are?" The spark is back, and there's a faint glow about him. Like you could see the angel he once was, it moved under the skin he now wore, the hardened facade. "Normally when I talk about fun stuff I can see people's epxressions go blank, sort of... fade out, like they're physically there but have mentally wandered away. I do that too, soemtimes... but that's because this form is so small. Cosmically, I mean. This body is like... trying to put the sun into a salt shaker, and expecting only little bits of power to escape, to offset the pressure."

"Is there anything that can help?" Angel asks, intrigued but compassionate. He feels things getting too sentimental and adds, with a flirty grin, "I'm always available to help expend some energy, ya Highness."

Husk thwaps him with his tail, and Angel laughs.

"That's... generous... but if I let any of my Self out like that, it'd be-... wait, do you know what a solar flare is? Because it would be like that. It's why I create things all the time, easiest way to expel the energy without hurting anyone."

"Ah, that explains the ducks, then. I assume the reason we aren't drowning in them all is because this is only the most recent iteration of your energy release?" Alastor asks, folding onto a barstool. Again, his hands twitch as if to toy with his cane, and Husk clocks it again as he slings a teatowel over his shoulder. The Sovereign overlord is frowning around his smile now, struck by a dour thought. "Actually, sire... I'm wondering something about said ducks."

"No, I was wondering if the power you imbued the ducks with could be... extracted, in any way? One or two or ten might not be enough to cause a threat to the general population, but if the energy in them could be harnessed, then perhaps someone could even one day amass enough to rival dear Charlotte." Alastor said, there was something in his gaze.

"...the why of them? Because its simple, I just think they're fun." Lucifer shrugs, and his shoulders curl forwards again before the devil consciously pushes them back. Who had taught this all powerful creature such shame around his hobbies? Intriguing. Exploitable.

Husk sent a pointed glare at the back of Boss's head, and one ear twitched.

"Why, want it for yourself, bellhop?" Lucifer scowls at him, and Husk cringes, seeing the way those ears flicker. Whatever message was being conveyed had been returned to sender unread.

"No." Alastor ground out, and then clamed himself. "I am pointing out that it seems like that would be a glaring security breach in hell, if someone who was seeking power and had access to your little offcasts, could do so. They would pose a threat to possibly even yourself, but certainly Charlotte. Are you able to destroy the ducks or whatever you have created? Or would that cause magical backlash?"

Lucifer seemed to be picking something up. "I can destroy them. It's like... uh... haircuts? Once it leaves me, its benign and can be dissolved into atoms... is atoms what the humans are down to now? I think you might have found out about quarks... hah, the irony of dissolving my ducks into quarks..."

"Ah, a failsafe option then. Excellent." Alastor mutters, and Husk is really looking at the overlord then. What did this guy know?

"...is someone trying to do what you suggested?" Lucifer asked, looking back upon them all with eyes that bled red. It felt like a soundwave moving through you at a concert, like an xray that wriggled through each and every atom on the way past, as he turned it upon the gathered sinners. "...ah, well, if that is who you are referring to, then perhaps you are right to worry. I'm hoping this is a sick prank, because otherwise I'm going to be very angry... and Charlotte will be devastated."

"Surely you wouldn't tell her, sire?" Alastor throws back, and Husk can tell that the other is rattled at the revelation that the King had Seen what was hidden. "It would only hurt her. Something we're all actively attempting to avoid for now, especially in the wake of the lost snake fellow."

"Sir Pentious." Angel and Husk intoned, slightly angry at Alastor for forgetting his name.

"Ah, yes... Pentious. He's not forgettable, I just can never seem to hold onto his name, for some reason, and he was always insisting we'd fought dozens of times but... I simply don't recall anything outside the animosity at the hotel." Alastor waved off potential amnesia with an airy laugh as the studio audience chimed in to add body.

"Wait, you actually did fight him, with me, once." Husk frowned. "You and Vox were still partners, before the moth... Pentious was testing out that giant mech suit thing of his, and he knocked out one of your broadcast towers. I thought you were gonna eat him... but you just kind of toyed with him for a bit until the robot part was scrap metal and had me drop him home."

Alastor's eyes flicker with static, and a grating kssshhhtttz of static filled the air before a radio dial clicking off sounded. "Why, no, I genuinely don't recall! Hah!" He turns back to the King. "Now, little majesty, would you mind telling our associate Angel about the stars? And if Husker and I should just so happen to listen in, why, that should be a bonus, hmmm?"

Lucifer blinked. "Er, what? I can do that... but we're going to talk about that later."

Whirling around, Lucifer launched himself up to the ceiling and snapped his fingers with a joyous laugh. Instantly the room dimmed, a blinding array of celestial bodies appeared in the air and gently rotated around Lucifer, who hung within the sun-like orb at the centre. In the distance, nebulae and distant planets could be glimpsed.

The barstools melted into a sofa with enough height to allow the long-legged Angel and Alastor to be seated comfortably. Husk was similarly provided seating, behind the bar, much to his amusement.

"This, is SOL, your sun and one of my favourite stars. I helped set it ablaze myself with my brother Michael!" Lucifer explained, hovering around it, listing off facts about the celestial body and explaining how it worked. Tiny solar flares arched outward and this delighted the former archangel as he spoke about them at length.

Eventually, he moved on to tiny Mercury, pulling the small orb from its orbit and bringing it down to them as the king extolled interesting fact about Gabriel's first attempt at a planet. "There WAS supposed to be water there, but... it got too hot, and it evaporated. Poor Gabe was crushed, because he'd had fun plans for it. Mars was also one of his, but Dad stepped in to give him some help forming it... there's some fun little surprises hidden on THAT planet for the humans to find!"

Lucifer switched out planets and even passed around Mars for them to hold. Angel startled to find red dust on his fingers, and Lucifer winked at him.

"Don't worry, there's no giant sinner fingerprints on the planet... it's just a wellmade enchantment! Oooh, speaking of well-made, did you know the humans have sent little robots to explore Mars? They call this little guy ROVER and he sings Happy Birthday to himself once a year!" Lucifer manifests what was lkely supposed to be a replica, but apparently seemed to be the Rover itself. "Ah... fuck. Hang on."

One sleep deprived tech at NASA had QUITE THE DAY reviewing footage from the Rover, and trying to work out if someone had hacked the feed to prank him as several inhuman creatures were seen staring in horrified fascination at the Rover for about 3 seconds before the feed returned to Mars' barren surfaces.

"Hah, let's not mention that little fuck-up to Heaven..." Lucifer laughed, nervously. "What was I saying? Oh yeah, so there was water on this planet too, and we put some-..."

Angel and Husk interjected with questions on occasion. Alastor really just seemed to be listening, though knowing the guy he could be listening to his own internal radio station and nodding at the right intervals. He did show some sign of delight when Lucifer got to Earth's moon... even sized it up to something around soccer ball shape, before passing it around.

Husk, unable to fight the desire in the back of his brain, put a tongue on the surface. He considered it. "...good news, not cheese."

Angel's snort was delightful.

"Hey! As my father once said to me, 'Please don't go licking celestial objects!'" Lucifer interjected, taking the moon back and making a show of theatrically wiping it off on his shirt. He tosses it at Alastor, "That goes double for you, Bambi."

"Sire, how can you show such little faith in me? As this is neither screaming, breathing nor bleeding, why would I ever be tempted to take a bite?" His expression was fantastically malicious, but husk roleld his eyes, talk about sticking to the bit. The deer did toy with the moon in his hands. "...what caused the crators?"

"Asteroids, mostly. Like, big chunks of rock that hurtle through space, because there's no gravity in space to help slow them down anything you toss up there stays at that speed and in that direction until it hits something." Lucifer's expression soured. "We discovered that when Raphael accidentally took out two planets and ended the dinosaurs whilst skipping asteroids, actually. Everyone got a talking to for that one."

"Hmmm, I don't suppose you'd find time to show us what they really looked like, would you? There's quite the debate about if they were shrink-wrapped lizards or, perhaps, took after rotund birds." Alastor mutters absently, and catches himself. Perhaps he was more tired than he thought. "Rosie has been staunchly intrigued by the creatures for decades, ever since seeing a skeleton in a museum as a girl, I understand. If you would be open to sharing information about them, she would be most obliged."

"Careful sinner, last time I was asked to talk about those creatures at length I didn't stop for at least a week. Thankfully the goetia in question had drunk enough coffee to fell a Sin, and was able to stay awake through the majority but I doubt anyone here has that tolerance." Lucifer teases, and he is markedly more relaxed than when he started. He seemed to exude a glow og joy when he was in his element, just sharing information even with sinners, whom he appeared to despise.

"...do not, under any circumstances, make such a statement to dear Rosie or she shall take it as a challenge. Wrangling her Overlord form when she is overstimulated and sleep-deprived can be quite the chore..."

"Ain't you like, top dog of the overlords?" Angel narrows his eyes at Alastor.

"He means... without hurting her. Al and Rosie are like fucked up siblings, he wouldn't raise a hand to her and she won't eviscerate him. But he's right, trying to get her to calm down like that, without the option of force, can be pretty damn difficult. Her whole Bigger form has way too many teeth, gives me a headache just looking at it sometimes." Husk shudders.

"Hey, actually, anyone need to get a drink or go to the bathroom or the other physical things you guys do?" Lucifer asked, his hat on the floor as he flips upside down in mid air, batting playfully at the little blue and green orb they'd lived on all their lives. "No? Okay, well, here's one you might be familiar with - Earth. Check out this little number!"

He cracks it in half to show off the layers inside, listing off what each one was and how it worked with the enthusiasm of a PHD student going through their passion project thesis. this orb, too, was passed around like show and tell in the class.

A smart-ass radio host may have allowed a singular refrain of 'has the whole world, in his hands' to fade in and out as the other sinners passed it around. The Earth was last seen snatched from the hands of an enamoured Angel Dust by a giggling Niffty, who scuttled out the door at alarming speeds.

"She. is. Terrifying. Where the fuck did you find her, bellhop?" Lucifer stares after the little creature.

"Quite the story, for another time, and Niffty present." Alastor waves it away. "Do you require the Earth returned? I can summon her back or send poppets to un-hah-earth where she is hiding in the vents...?"

"No, no its an illusion... it'll be fine. So, Jupiter, the not-star of the show and big sibling to earth!" Lucifer continues, showing off the markedly larger orb to everyone in the immediate vicinity. He enlarges it to point out interesting facts, and then pulls over Venus to compare the two. Apaprently they had a similar design but hidden interests under the dense layers of toxic storms.

And that was how several sinners learned things about those planets, and what was on them, several centuries before humans on earth ever would. The king made them swear not to share that information if they got summoned, which wasn't an everyday issue but... some of the overlords tended to get called on occasion. He still hasn't worked out how that keeps happening... the goetia were one thing, but the Sovereign Overlords?

Ah well. Lucifer then immediately pivots to the moons of Jupiter and Saturn, he LOVES the damn things and breaks down their differences in truly intense detail. Angel peppers in questions, enthralled. Husk has to fight an innate impulse to bat at the orbs rotating slowly past him regularly. Damned cat brain.

The rings of the planet were fascinating, and felt oddly gritty when handled, as Lucifer explained how they were made. He'd been consulted on this one, but it was all Sera and Michael, Saturn.

Uranus and Neptune were paired, he'd explained, pulling them over, and showing off the little details. Even Alastor was intrigued at the possibility of ice on Neptune, implying some level of water... and the potential for life to occur.

Lucifer spoke about how, just the year before on Earth, a satellite probe had gone past Pluto and taken photos of the surface! That it took many years and countless reams of paper covered in mathematics to facilitate such a feat, and he was so very oddly proud of humanity for it. He didn't say the words, but the pride in humanity's innate curiosity seemed to 'fill his cup' as they say, to see them use their free will for Good.

It was cold to the touch, but nowhere near as icy as Pluto.

Lucifer took a deep breath as he got to that planet, his little project on the side... had meant it to be a moon but got too excited and made it a tad oversized. The others had been exasperated, apparently.

"Unfortunately, humans did decide it was a Dwarf Planet, and demoted it. But I think it's amazing. This would be the time for a size joke, sinners, if you have one ready... but I still love the silly little ball of ice. If I had my way we would have tried to colonise it with sentient temperature-resistent flora..."

Husk and Angel glanced at one another, trying to imagine what that could even look like. They'd already seen things beyond human imagining today, really put into perspective the concept of creativity when it came to immortal, nearly all-powerful beings with infinite possibility at their core.

Lucifer glanced down at them, offering Pluto over. "Really? Not one single crack at my height, Bambi? You're either learning restraint, are enamoured by my storytelling, or you're dead..."

Husk can't help but huff out a laugh.

"Anyway, this tenth planet, I called it..." the thing that came out of Lucifer's mouth wasn't quite a word, but it was beautiful. Like the chiming of a bell you could feel filling your heart with warmth, rather than hear. That was a super weird sensation to explain. "But... humans can't detect it yet. Technically it was a back-up in case asteroids took out one of the others, so it's phase-locked, technically there for gravitational reasons, but also not physically there if searched for by non-angelic means."

Lucifer hands over the impossible orb. Schrodinger's planet, if you will.

Angel's eyes go wide as he looks at something no one else would likely know about for centuries. "This is insane, ya majesty... I... you've got so much in that head a yours and I think you just made my afterlife with all this. I never... I never thought I'd get to know about the stars, not now. And not then neither. It's... It's silly of me, I know."

"It ain't." Husk assured, at the same moment a startled Lucifer said, "No it's not! The endless curiosity and compassion of humanity was what I gave you with Free Will... just because you're here doesn't mean it died off."

There was a split second as it seemed the King was having an Epiphany moment, and you could see the sweeping grin on his features. So very, very undeniably Charlie in that moment. "Oh, I get it... I see what Char-Char is trying to do. You do have the capacity for change, because it never left!"

Husk tenses for shit to go sideways, at least a round of sarcastic audience applause... and stiffens further when nothing is forthcoming. He glances past the overwhelmed spider to see Alastor appears to be sleeping, head resting on his chin.

Lucifer notices as well. "Hah! Told him that it takes an over caffinated Goetia to outlast my ramblings! And he thinks he can manage my dinosaur talk, as if..."

"Well, I mean, to be fair to Smiles... it's been a weird day. He had to hold up that shield over the hotel and then when that fucker Adam broke it, he was forced to fight the guy." Angel interjects, feeling the need to defend the other. It was so weird seeing the guy sleeping with his smile in place... but, it also felt kinda peaceful too. Being trusted.

He reached out an elbow to nudge the bombastic boombox of an overlord as Lucifer sputtered.

"He did WHAT? When? I didn't see him at all, just Adam attacking Charlie which let me fight back." Lucifer frowned now. "Are you sure...?"

"Yes, we're sure. Nearly shit myself when I saw Adam smash in the shield... never seen anything break one of Boss's wards before, not even this one asshole goetia who thought he could start removing the sovereigns to stop them 'rising above their station'." Husk shrugged. "Got to have a piece of the guy's arm... they don't taste half-bird, you could really tell he was a pheasant under all that finery."

"Uh... guys?" Angel interjects, swallowing as he takes note of the wetness on his elbow. "Can we put the lights on? I don't think Smiles is okay..."

With a snap, and dual hisses of pain as light seared their retinas with unerring accuracy, Lucifer vanished the solar system. Immediately uncovering a whole other issue... dark, wet patches were marring the Overlord's attire in a very pointed slash from one shoulder to the opposing hip. Or what passed for it, on this lanky fucker.

"Oh... well, fuck." Angel summated, eloquently.

Husk scowled, "Should've guessed something was up when he disappeared... and I haven't seen his staff since the battle. Must be busted or he'd have it on him... kept going to play with it earlier, should've asked him about it. Fuck."

The shadow nearly takes Angel's hands off at hte wrist as he started unbuttoning the coat. "Whoa, spooky Jnr, settle down! We're trying to help!"

"Enough of that, time out for you." Lucifer snaps, and the shade is suddenly bound with glowing golden strands of something it couldn't escape. He rolls up his sleeves, setling back on the ground and tugging out a red feather. "Alright, you idiot, let's see how bad this is."

Angel peeled back the coat and shirt with urgent reluctance. He knew the deer wasn't a fan of being touched unless he initiated, Angel had eight eyes and a fantastic ability to people watch, he could see how the Overlord worked. As much as he wanted to help, this also felt... uncomfortably non-consensual.

He inhales sharply at the revealled mess. Carefully stitched taut with glowing threads, the damage appeared extensive, and hard to look at for too long.

"The good news is I can fix it, the bad news... is it's going to suck for both of us. Angel, refrain from the obvious joke if you can." Lucifer said, and directed them to move the overlord into a position where they could more easily restrain him.

The minute the King laid hands, shadow tendrils errupted to attempt to eviscerate, but Lucifer's wings combated the majority whilst the miniature monarch concentrated on doing... whatever that was. Husk was just about sitting on Alastor's legs at this point, leaning in. Angel had all six arms free and holding on for (heh) deer life.

Angel thinks he's uttering something soothing, but his own brain is blank right now as Lucifer managed to drag something that looked horrifically like golden razorwire from within Alastor's wound, and wind it about his own arm until it dug in... then dissipated. Lucifer sighed as it did so, and exhaled shakily.

In a swift movement, he snapped the stitches, waving them out of the flesh that gaped open sickeningly. Golden light began to glow at both ends of the wound, and the heat in the room increased as it slowly moved down the length of the injury towards the midsection. Alastor thrashed, not conscious enough to scream but the radios went haywire around them.

Angel grabbed the Overlord's head to hold the guy still, with a pair of hands, as Husk... draped himself a little further up the deer's body and began to purr rhythmically. Angel nearly let go, in his surprise.

"Hang on, bellhop, just a bit longer... it's okay..." the King mumbled, clearly balancing out the need to Help with the power he was able to safely channel into a sinner body.

"Dad, stop!" Charlie shouts, skidding into the room in her nightclothes, a spear-wielding Vaggie behind her. "What are you doing?!"

"Char, wait, he's helping!" Angel shouts back, no free hands to ward them off. "Just... oh thank fuck that's over with, I feel like such an asshole pinning him for that."

Alastor went slack in their hold as the searing angelic healing finally subsided, the wound closed. Lucifer was panting a little. He clearly hadn't needed to use that little trick in some time.

The radios clicked off all throughout the hotel.

"...what happened?" Charlie looked at Husk, then Angel, then her father.

Vaggie had straightened, her eye critically assessing the situation. "I'd say Adam happened, hun. Remember how the shield broke? Fucker went straight towards Al on the roof..."

Charlie tugged at her own hair, eyes still raw from the loss of Pentious. "I knew I should've looked harder! I just thought... I mean, he's always so capable..."

"But he faced down the First Man without angelic steel, even someone with his power isn't able to kill him permanently without that." Husk offered, sitting up as if he hadn't just been a purring emotional support animal for a guy he claimed to hate.

"Wait, I thought he had a weapon?" Vaggie frowned, mentally running through the faces she'd handed out the weaponry to. "...no, he let Niffty have it. Actually, she grabbed it after he pointed at it. Why didn't he pick it up?"

Husk coughed into a hand, "Allergy, probably..."

"The deal, then? I can see it interlaced with some other commands." Lucifer is staring at the Sinner's throat with red eyes, clearly reading something. "Some of it's obscured but... nope, he's an idiot, a very weirdly brave one but an idiot nonetheless. What chance does anyone in hell have of killing someone like Adam without even an Angelic toothpick? Did you know about this, Char Char?"

Only then does Lucifer register the frightened, horrified expressions adorning husk and Angel's face as Charlie's own crumples into confusion.

"The... what? I have a deal with him, but its for a favour, nothing that can be used to hurt anyone. Please don't hurt him for that, Dad!" Charlie pleads, and throws Lucifer off balance.

"You have a what now?"

"A Favour. It was about the angelic steel... he told me, and said he could help me get an army if I made a deal with it. I-... Dad, please, I don't think he's all that bad... I offered him my soul and he declined it." She's rambling panicking, and it's clear which side of the genetics that came from, because his Majesty is starting to freak out as well.

His eyes snap red, and clearly traces the chain between them, lips moving as he read the terms. The shoulders unclench.

"Okay, okay, that's fine... I just have to work out if he asked for it for himself, or was asked to ask for it. But we'll need him conscious for that... and I don't think we'll get anywhere tonight." He yawns, and that little white face splits open farther than any would espect and shows off an almost eldritch form before snapping shut. "I think we all need a nap. It's been a long day."

He frowns down at his hand, and then brightens. "Oh, nearly forgot!" Lucifer places the red feather on Alastor's nearest wrist and it flickers into a thin red band with a flickering array of golden symbols. "That should stop soemone shadowing away or being summoned in the interim."

"Wait, Dad, what?"

"Long story, see I was telling these three about the solar system and when I got to the tenth planet, I thought the bellhop had fallen asleep but he'd just misplaced most of his blood, and then-..."

"No, the deal part."

"Oh, he seems to have one with your mother. Not sure what that's about but it looks messy, the terms aren't weighted right... and I feel like she might be up to more than I expected. But we can ask him in the morning, for now... I'm going to conjure somewhere soft to sleep. Removing grace always gives me a headache."

"Wh-..."

"Yeah toots, let's deal with it, no pun intended, after some shut-eye." Angel yawns, and flops back on the couch, which is swiftly poof'd into a very large, quite decadent fold-out bed. "Whiskers, how likely is he to eat me if we wake up spooning tomorrow...?"

"Uh..."

"What about you?"

"He's never eaten me before. S'long as I purr."

"I. need. details."

"Tomorrow. If we don't become breakfast in bed." Husk grumbles, dropping his hat on the bar and riggling onto the massive bed. Setting about moving Alastor to a more comfortable position. "Oh, and... if you wake up and Niff is there, don't scream. She sleeps with her eye open, but she just likes to be close to Boss."

"...Whiskers, you guys and your weirdness ain't even close to the strangest thing I've managed in bed." Angel dramatically rolled his eyes. "Heya short king, wanna come spoon with an infamous adult film star? Could raise your public image?"

"HAH! Or I could decimate yours!" Luccifer shot back, in the middle of what looked like a round bed with a nest-like structure around the outside. Okay, Angel admits that's pretty damn adorable. "But I'm cosy here... oooh, Char Char, did you want to nest with me? Maybe your angel wants to?"

"Yes." the word is out of Vaggie's mouth before she even registers the thought. "Angel thing, hun, I... love staying with you, but I did miss nesting with others. One of the only things I miss about being with my sisters... I mean, the others."

"Oh Vaggie, you should have said sooner! I would have made you a nest! Or ten! And gotten all the bird sinners I could find to roost with you!" Charlie panics, kissing every inch of Vaggie's face she could reach. "I'm so sorry..."

Vaggie kisses her on her nose, once. "No, you're overtired and very upset. But we can fix that, so let's go hop into bed with your dad..." She sighs through her nose at Angel's perfuntory Whoop, "and have a good sleep. Then we can deal with whatever the fuck he's done in the morning."

She can front all she wants, but the fact Vaggie didn't point with her spear said volumes about her fondness for the deer.

As everyone settles down and the lights dim, KeeKee and Fat Nuggets slink in and are picked up by their respective owners for snuggles.

Angel glances at the King. "Uh... ya majesty... any chance you could maybe... er..." He hesitates. How much power would that take?"

With a snap, the air around them is filled with tiny stars, and a rather lifelike model of earth's moon. "It's okay to ask for what you want." Lucifer reassures.

Angel beams, tucking close to the purring bartender and making sure he's not actively putting anything vital in biting distance of the slumbering overlord. "...thanks, for this. And I hope you can tell us more stuff another time, it was fun listening to ya... up until the bit where Smiles nearly died. but I liked it."

"You would really like to hear more?"

"Of course, Short King! You're a orn entertainer and you know so fuckin' much I want to read you like a book, and I hated doing that shit back in school."

"And we'll discuss that in the morning before anyone starts a monologue about different species of birds they created, right Dad?" Charlie subtly interjects.

"Of course, Char Char... goodnight everyone."

Various goodnights are heard across the room... and from a vent in the ceiling directly above Alastor. Ah, Niffty.

Angel grins to himself, imagining the flustered indignation the Overlord would front with tomorrow, at the knowledge of how many people cared enough to help his stubborn ass. It was gonna be quite entertaining...

------------

End?

Genuine question

How do you think alastor and angel dust reacted when they heard about the moon landing?

Like, that was an insane step for everyone, can you imagine newer sinners coming in talking about rover on mars and those two assuming it was some sort of scifi show or podcast

Then finding out it was real

Also lucifer being a shit inthe background like, "the moon, pfft, yeah i made it. Its not as exciting as what we hid on jupiter, but go off i guess..."

[lodessa]

Tagged by @garglyswoof (thanks for the excuse to go through and do this!) for what's in my wip list. As always, this is not really complete.

Real Name Fics (partly posted)

k'war'ma'khon (Star Trek: Discovery)

Dragon Marked (Game of Thrones, Dany/Jorah)

The Backup (Veronica Mars, Veronica/Weevil)

Working Titles (partly written but unposted)

Year of Hell PWP (Star Trek: Voyager, Janeway/Chakotay)

Homeric Setting/Style AU (Star Trek: Voyager/Prodigy) Janeway/Chakotay)

Troi/Dax PWP (Star Trek: TNG / DS9, Jadzia Dax/Deanna Troi)

ASOIAF book!canon compliant multichapter (A Song of Ice and Fire) Davos/JonC, Jaime/Brienne, Sansa/Aegon

Tywin/Olenna Modern AU (A Song of Ice and Fire)

Divergent Timeline Miles Swap (Revolution, Miles/Charlie, Miles/Bass)

Charlie's Dad Is Bass Fic (Revolution, Miles/Charlie)

If You're There Bridge Angst (Veronica Mars Logan/Weevil)

Balancing Act Part 5 (Veronica Mars, Logan/Weevil/Veronica)

Mental Files Only (no actual words written)

Daxverse (Star Trek: Voyager,Janeway/Chakotay, Jadzia Dax/B'Elanna Torres, Kes/Doctor)

Holo!Janeway/Chakotay angst (Star Trek: Prodigy)

The Smallest Twine Part 2 (Star Trek: Voyager/TNG, Janeway/Chakotay)

A Room With a View AU (Stranger Things: Chrissy/Eddie)

Season 4 Rework (Stranger Things)

Emotional Affair Fic (Harry Potter, Harry/Luna)

Samson Fic (Angel the Series, Wes/Lilah)

Green Eyes (ASOIAF, Jaime/Brienne, Brienne/Renly unrequited)

Tagging: @phoenixwrites, @lilalbatross, @electricbluebutterflies, @clarasimone, and @blondiest.

[phoenixwrites]

https://www.tumblr.com/phoenixwrites/754279272679718912/thoughts-on-grace-posting-roman-polanski-quotes

On her ig story there is a quote by Roman

Okay, I think this is a bit out of context.

Grace portrayed Sharon Tate in the film "Charlie Says" in 2018. The Polanski quote you're referencing is him talking about how much he loved Sharon and Grace has talked numerous times about Sharon's tragedy and how she has been a personal inspiration.

This doesn't make Polanski a good person by any means or any less of a monster, but that doesn't mean that Sharon Tate and her unborn child deserved to be murdered in cold blood. Grace is honoring Sharon here, not Roman.

[hellcheerficdatabase]

Five Drunks, A Cheerleader, and...Prom

Author: @phoenixwrites

Rating/Warning: Explicit, referenced ED, bad parent

Chapter Count: 4/4 (part 2 of Five Drunks and a Cheerleader series)

Description: After a month or so of dating Eddie, Chrissy returns to the Hideout to greet Big Charlie, Randy, Earl, Horace, and Hershel. They learn that Eddie has never attended the prom and doesn't seem to be planning on asking Chrissy. They are not happy about this development.

Tags: Alternate Universe- no vecna, established relationship, everyone loves Chrissy, Prom AU, Eddie has 6 uncles and 5 aunts, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, alternating POV, multiple chapters, Status: completed

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

Okay, odd headcanon, but work with me here.

--------------

We all know that the Devil and the Sins could, theoretically, be summoned. If any human was ballsy enough for that nonsense... or desperate enough.

Likely Lillith has been to many a goth girl slumber party that got Real Fast when the ritual worked.

And we have tangible proof that the Goetia, especially Paimon and the princes (are there princesses as well?) are able to be summoned for sacrifices. Stolas was Not Impressed.

But one would think, perhaps, that this implies there are those of sufficient spiritual ability on earth to at least get visions of the afterlife to make these rituals, these ancient texts, etc.

Someone had to write the rules of summoning.

And maybe the power continues in new pockets here and there, and those persons sometimes see flares of important people, of demons whose names come to them in nightmares. Alternately, of angels that fill their dreams with hope... whose true forms could obliterate them accidentally if summoned that way.

In either case, the more powerful a demon, a hellborn, a god-like deity... the easier it is to see a glimpse of them. At least a few very confused alive persons are mystified by the tiny ringmaster whose deft hands craft ducks with powers that defy the geneva conventions re weaponry, for the (heh) hell of it. But flashes of Satan often offset the worry. Must have been a misplaced angel or something... THAT guy was clearly the Devil, all massive and red and scaly.

But then, one would assume that flares of power and chaos associated with the Sovereign Overlords would drag some third eyes their way. Whether they knew about it or not.

Sleepwalking seers scratching out symbols they didn't register on any paper or surface, the names and faces of the demons burned in their mind's eye. These... these were once human, but powerful. More easily approached to seek support. Theoretically.

And thus, the Sovereigns that reigned for decades, centuries even... for they rarely lasted more... were shared in hand-crafted grimoires and back of the internet mystical chatrooms. Their sigils, which the overlords didn't even understand themselves to have, used to call them to them. Each one tempted by something diffferent.

It always helped to have something belonging to them, or be a direct descendent if that information was known. However, it had to be the right item. One did not simply graverob for this sort of thing, it was poor form.

All that is to say that, in the end, that some of the more powerful demons are Known, and considered far less likely to incinerate on the spot than... say, the Sin of Wrath, when bothered at an inopportune moment.

There was a price, and the favour or request may be rejected but... the chance for help, for vengeance, for riches, for fame and glory, or whatever their speciality was. And you also had to be careful about what was offered... some people just weren't in to having the whole virgin sacrifice shoved in their face when, say, a nice bottle of wine would do. One had to be careful.

In short, those new to Sovereign status often made polite company and were subtly moved aside to be advised of the situation so as to prepare (someone like Zeezi)... or they were a right arse to everyone bignoting themselves, and more than a few of the others enjoyed their shellshocked expression upon return (like Valentino).

Everyone was called at least once, at that tier. Their power on earth was limited, but the right deal and imbuement of power, of curse, of shared ability until the time of death? That could guarantee what they wanted. It was ludicrously easy, like playing a video game the second time around and knowing how to keep your NPC companion from harm because the game was now rigged in your favour.

Easy way to gain new, often skilled, souls too.

Which is to say that when a summoning occurred, the rarity remained an amusement to the Sovereign involved. The only one who didn't seem to have an inkling that even Sinners were getting allowed 'out on temporary furlow' was the upper echelon of Hell itself.

Of all the Sovereigns, Zestial had the most experience, being the oldest and one with a fearsome reputation. He often liked to share the tale over tea and snacks. What a delightful demon he could be to those who showed him civility, respect and friendship of the true kind, and not false patter from fear or need.

He tended to put at ease new Sovereigns that were uncertain about the nature of it, of how to accept or even fulfil deals under such circumstances. Again, as long as they were not a braggart or difficult to spend time with.

Even young Velvette had been excited to be summoned the first time. She returned glowing with pride, all confidence and swagger and pretending she hadn't needed the bolstering by other Sovereigns to feel it would go well. It was believed she may have helped with a rather world-stopping security breach on a certain government forum, and then carefully shared those secrets across certain video game forums.

What you were called for tended to be... unique to each Overlord. They all had something they excelled at, in general,

Carmilla tended to be called for support on military matters, personal prptection, or assassinations of those too carefully guarded to get otherwise. Her mind was on par with Athena when it came to strategy and her body was a weapon unto itself. She was always vague on terminology when she discussed the summonings.

Rosie tended to get mixed summonings, sometimes cannibals seeking guidance or something in the field of hiding bodies, sometimes scorned lovers wanting the power to fight back, sometimes the abused wanting protection or vengeance, or those seeking infernal love advice, and a few odd ones that wanted none of those. You got that, on occasion.

No one knows what Valentino got called up for, but then again, no one really wanted to know given his reputation. His price tended to involve some... repugnant requests and items. Ah well.

Still, to be summned wasn't in an everyday... but it happened, at least once a century. You can always refuse, of course... but half of Sovereignty was the Performance, the Reputation, the Show of your power.

To refuse raised questions... though you could delay a few moments. Claim a dramatic entrance. At least enough time to turn off the shower and snap some pants on, or whatever attire you preferred.

So naturally, when Zestial felt the Summon calling to him when he was midstride and mid-conversation with the lovely Rosie and Alastor, he paused momentarily.

They, too, heard the subtle chime and chant that echoed in... not quite the air, but... less tangible still. Some felt it a lasso that slipped about their soul, some felt it was a playful breeze that giggled and tugged them to follow, others felt it like a pathway that appeared...

The magic curled about Zestial as the world around them darkened, glowing his signature yellows and greens, his sigil burning into the pavement beneath them.

Unexpectedly, the loud reverberating belltoll of a successfully answered summons rang out over Pride. And a moment later, another rang out...

That... wasn't good. Perhaps a mistimed chime for Zestial?

The ancient overlord frowned, but brushed his misgivings aside.

"Ah, mine sincerest of apologies, it doth seem imperiled mortal seek mine aid. Forgive such an importune exit, twas not for lack of good comany that I must depart." He inclines his head, apologetically.

"Don't worry about it, old sport, we can always find time to catch up after the next meeting..." Alastor waves him off, eyes darting to the form of a sinner behind them frantically trying to bury themselves in the dirt to avoid notice from not one but THREE major overlords.

"Or we can have tea at my Boutique, you can bring Carmilla if you wish, don't let us keep you!" Rosie assures, then pauses. "Oh, do you want us to wait for you, it's no trouble, darling!"

"Nay, mine requests often tary in the world before. Good Eve Rose, Alastor." Zestial allows the summon to encircle him and pulled him away. It looked different for each of them, but the sigil always flared, a giant circle with spidery webs pulsed in the concrete and Zestial's form fragmented upward.

It never hurt, it was just... hard to describe.

A loud tolling bell rang out once more, and this time it sent a jolt down both spines. This wasn't... right.

As far as summonings went, that was pretty standard. For Zestial that is.

Rosie tended to find herself twined in bloody vines that faded as she 'rose', and folded away like petals as she emerged in the other world. She often wondered what form this took for others. Hard to tell unless you were one of multiple summons, and even Zestial struggled to recall last time that happened, he feels it may have involved one of the ever-screaming overlords Al overthrew.

"A pity, I wanted to ask him about backing the hotel in his little publications..." Alastor added into the sudden 'silence' (Hell was full of ambient screams, explosions, crackling flames, gunfire and gods know what else, like an ASMR that summons paralysis demons by the dozen). "A conversation for next time, I assume..."

"Mmm, I wonder who has dared disturb him this time? The last one got eaten for daring to show impropriety... a fascinating study in how a little politeness could make all the difference. Imagine asking Zestial to-..." Rosie is cut off as one of Carmilla's daughters skids to a halt behind her. "Why, dear, whatever are you so flustered for? Odette, wasn't it? Tell Aunty Rosie what the matter is."

Technically, Rosie would adopt anyone not nailed down... but, in this instance, it was unofficial that any Sovereign that didn't want beef with Carmilla would extend safety and protection to Odette and Clara at any time. In much the same way someone might step in to keep Niffty safe if they saw Alastor's little not-daughter in a tricky circumstance.

The day young Clara had accidentally panted out a 'Thank you, Uncle Alastor.' after the deer had torn an upstart overlord seeking to ransom her off for power into about eighteen screaming pieces, had been hilarious. Rosie, who had been enjoying tea across the street when it all went down, but wasnt needed to intervene, had laughed so hard she nearly passed out from the look of baffled confusion and delight on her friend's face.

It's a wonder he didn't demand partial rights from Carmilla that day. He was so strange in his attachments, after all, but once you were (heh) en-deer-ed to him, that was it. Why, Rosie knows he always asks her help to pick out a 'deathday' gift for the pair each year.

And she quite enjoys her role as pseudo aunt as well.

If Alastor had his way, dear Charlotte and maybe even the infuriating Vaggie, would be marked as under his protection through association as well. The exorcist mainly because he quite liked her spunk and refusal to trust him, which the foolish man just loved about her. Not that he'd ever let the woman know. Of course not!

Rosie had made it clear to her people that Charlie was Her Niece and to extend every courtesy. Only Susan grumbled, but she seemed to like the Princess as well, so who cared for her evil old opinion.

Not that the girls (or Niffty really) needed much protection from anyone save perhaps those nearing sovereign status without any of the usual restraint or adherence of custom. They were delightfully deadly assassins. Why, their gift the year before Alastor went missing was a variety of poisons that could be applied to bladed technology... and a vial of the antidote for personal use, should there be an accident. That's how she knew he actually liked the ladies.

Well, there had been a moment in the other recent sovereign meeting wherein Carmilla had dimissed him so utterly that Rosie could tell it had rankled Alastor. Had he not helped with her daughters for decades now? Had he not been missed? Rosie still tried to subtly coax the truth from him...but it was a work in progress.

Ah, speaking of work in progress, she blinks back out of her reverie and looks down at the heir apparent before her. Odette has composed herself, and inclines her head in respect (though tthey both asked her to stop that decades ago).

"Sovereigns... Auntie Rosie, Uncle Alastor... our mother was just summoned to earth. Moments later, Zeezi was also called... and when I glanced out the window, I saw Fath-... er, that is to say, Sovereign Zesital being called. Something isn't right. In the best recollection of Sovereign Zestial only two were summoned together." She seemed to be masking her distress quite well, but her fingers twitched just enough to betray her anxiety of the circumstances.

"Now, now, it may simply be a very specific and unusual coincidence that they were all called." Alastor reassured, twirling his cane to distract. Rosie saw the calculations behind those too-calm eyes. Her own mind racing with possibilities. "Everyone called has such wildly different abilities, it would take a very convoluted plan in order to have them all contribute. Your mother and your dear... Zestial, shall return soon. If they have not returned by evening, my dear, you can contact Rosie, or myself through the hotel."

"I-... I just don't understand. This hasn't hapepned for years, and now both of-..." she caught herself. "All three sovereigns in the span of ten minutes? This feels... wrong."

Rosie put her arms around the girl. "There, there, darling. Deep breath. You need to look strong, like your mother taught you to, so none decide to make a foolish decision for territory whilst your mother is away. Chin up, and I'm sure Uncle Alastor will tell you to smile. Though I recommend the natural way, because I left my finest threads at home, don't you know..."

Odette visibly steels herself, huffs a giggle almost against her will, and grins. "I understand. We'll call you if she doesn't come back by evening. I'm sure you'll hear the return gong when they do, though."

"Indeed we will, now go inside and have your mother's thralls see any lingering overlords out. Why, if Valentino is still in there I'll come in myself and pull him out bit by bit!" Alastor offered. He wasn't joking. He hated the moth and would never leave them alone with Valentino if there was any choice.

"No, Zeezi was the last one, the others are gone."

"Good. Remember, close the circuitry to the generator whilst your mother is out, stops... pesky televisions from gaining entry. Though he knows he'd best not try anything anyway, right Vox?" Alastor directed at a security camera.

It jerked, ah a master of subtlety, and then made a rather pointed nodding motion.

With the young miss returned to the absolute fortress of her mother's headquarters, Alastor insisted on walking Rosie home. They said goodbye at the gates, pausing as another belltoll interrupted the pleasantries, and left them guessing who else had been summoned.

This wasn't normal...

"Listen Al, I know you hate the miniature monarch, but would you consider asking Charlotte to ask him about this? I have... one of my odd little Feelings about this. That there's something drastically wrong occurring around here."

She could hear him grinding his teeth. "...Only for you, Rosie. Of course I shall endeavour to do so. This is... unusual. Four sovereigns summoned at once? Do endeavour to decline any requests, at least without warning me, won't you?"

"I'll certainly-..."

Another belltoll.

They looked to one another, not needing words to discuss the urgency that now fell on their shoulders. That had to be two of the three Vees...

"Please deer, for me, ask the King for help?"

He's dissolving into shadows and hurtling towards the hotel as another belltoll rang through hell.

--------

The doors burst open as Alastor hurtled out of shadow and into humanoid form.

"Charlotte, where might you be?" Alastor called, knowing she was never far from the foyer unless running a session. Always hoping for a new guest.

"Al? Are you okay?" came the response as the Princess ran in. He endeavoured for calm but there must be an air of... something less than composed, because she skidded to a stop. "Is everything okay? I heard a lot of noise and-..."

"My dear, this is very important... firstly, you need to lock down the hotel because things are about to become an absolute nightmare in the next few hours for reasons beyond any of our control. And secondly, as much as it pains me to say it, I must ask if your father is available?"

"To... date?" Charlie blinked, and he clocked she was sleep deprived.

Vaggie is already blundering into his personal space as she snarls, "What did you do, pendejo?!"

"Nothing, and that's the problem, it's unclear what any of us even can do unless his little majesty has a solution here because-..." His heart sank to his toes as another belltoll chimed. The horror must have shown on his face, because suddenly Charlie had him by the arm, grounding and comforting. His ears had gone flat. "...fuck."

She wouldn't have gone willingly.

Charlie startled at the word. "What is it? What's wrong? Please, trust that we can help!"

"Yeah, bambi, what's got you spooked? Heard the hunting dogs in the forest?" Lucifer chuckles, appearing by Vaggie, and frowning at the sinner. Those eyes seemed to See Beyond him for a moment, and then the face blanched. "You know what? I take it back, that was fucked up to say to you specifically, even if you are a degenerate mass murdering overlord nightmare hanging about my daughter."

"What?" Charlie asks, glancing between them, and her eyes flickering to red to try and See as well, but not having mastered it only got the impression of teeth and barking and pain. She held him tighter, panting. "Al I'm so-..."

"Not important and not the time. Little Majesty, we have a rather significant problem occurring and it's about to send all of Pride into upheaval." He aims right at the King, who is tilting his head with mild curiosity, humouring him. "Someone has been summoning the-..."

Angel skids across the carpet in heels that should have broken both his ankles (and at least several belonging to those around the room in sympathy) as he tries to stop his headlong pelt of a run now he was 'Safe'.

"F-f-fucking crazy sh-sh-sh... fuck hang on, need air!" He pants, hands on his knees. Frantic eyes dart over them all, checking they were real and also seemingly ticking off that everyone was present. "V-Val... he was... he was Summoned right outta the studio! He tried to can-cancel the Summons cause we was mid-scene for the most expensive bit of the shoot but... it wouldn't let him. Then when Vox burst in a minute later, he got taken too!"

"Nonsense, sinners can't be summoned. You're bound here to hell... only the goetia and up can be called on..." Lucifer frowned.

"Oh, they very much can be, especially if the most powerful sinners can eclipse the abilities of low-tier goetia." Alastor replied, uncaring for the startlement that caused. "You have been in isolation a long while, if Zestial's tales are anything to go by..."

"No that's not-... that can't-... what? No. What could any of you even offer a human...? Some offence intended. You're just puffed up sinners." Lucifer is frowning. "Is that what the bell was about? How many are gone? Why didn't they turn it down? You do know you can turn it down right?"

"If you had listened to Angel Dust, you would have heard that several tried and could not. This is highly unusual. Are you not aware of the souls moving in and out of the realm?"

"What? I mean, somewhere in this head I am, but it's not a bit I listen to a lot. Now tell me, what exactly are the big-wig overlords being summoned for? How many of them now?"

"We don't know. It started an hour ago, and the answer is all of them... the last toll was for Rosie, the Cannibal Overlord. Zestial was summoned in front of us just after the meeting. Carmilla's daughter Odette reported the loss of Zeezi and her mother, the poor girl is beside herself. This has not happened before. Everyone's rituals and areas of expertise are too different... there's no rhyme or reason for so many to be summoned at once."

Alastor's eyes flickered to radio dials, the flash of runes in the area and the X on his forehead alluded to something. Emotion, perhaps?

"...and you know this because it's normal for Sovereigns to be summoned, huh? Not buying it. You're not supposed to be able to leave... that's the whole point!" Lucifer threw up his hands, his magical pulsing out to check the realm and discovered a number of summoning circles marring his Pride. "What the fuck is happening here? None of you should be able to-... did you say rituals? So it's happened before?"

"Yes."

"To all the other Overlords?"

"Sovereign level only, though someone did try to call the snake fellow once, he passed out from sheer panic whilst we were mid-battle, I had husker run him home. Summons unanswered."

"And you all have some ritual or price or whatever? Spooky candles and virgins and blood sacrifices?" Lucifer was thinking back to what was normally required to call him through the veil.

"Not... for everyone. It differs. Some need a tangible item, others intent, and a willingness to offer what is needed for completion. You know this, why ask?"

"Because I'm stuck on the idea that humanity not only knows the names of Sinner Demons but can apparently pluck them from hell with the right chant and a pot of blood, without Heaven losing their shit." Lucifer was spiralling.

Alastor snapped his fingers in the King's face. His eyes flashed again, strings around his smile faded out again. "Focus. We have a two fold problem... the first being that the Sovereign Overlords were pulled away without any warning in an unprecedented event for who knows what purpose. The second being that without them in place to control their souls indirectly or otherwise, we are about to witness all of Pride implode. And they will come here, because there are many filled with discontent at the last extermination and Charlotte's meddling. Well intentioned or no."

"If they come here, I'll start smiting." Lucifer replies, too casually for such a threat. It seems to be the right answer, because Alastor's shoulders relax a fraction. "Now you tell me anything you know about this whole thing, and why you are miraculously the only one left. Suspicious right?"

The King frowns. "Can you get ahold of yourself? The glitching and flickering is really annoying..."

"Oh my apologies your majesty, so sorry to bother you with this little trifle. I had merely hoped to ensure someone here who might be able to do something about this mess was alerted before someone completed the-..." Alastor's teeth clicked in furious alarm as the room fell into shadows, his runes the wrong shade as his sigil was burned into the floor. He tried to abort the Summons, but it was clearly futile, as he was immediately enveloped in shadow as another belltoll rang out.

"Wait, waitt, what the FUCK was that?!" Angel yelled, tugging at his hair with two free hands. "Shit, he was the last one left... oh we're so fucked!"

"Hey, King of Hell here? We're fine."

"Not just about power, ya majesty, the Sovereigns run everything and keep everyone in check. Even the assholes do their bit. Now we're really up shit creek without a paddle and the boat's taking on water."

"Dad... is this really bad?" Charlie asks, voice small.

Niffty began to keen from inside one of the walls in a wildly unnerving way.

The phone ringing broke through it all. A frantic Odette asking if Unc-... Sovereign Alastor was there or if that last belltoll was him? She'd tried to call Aun-... Sovereign Rosie, and got nothing.

Husk took the phone, "Odette, you and Clara know what to do. Sit tight. You need rescue, call us again. It's gonna be okay, we got the King looking into this, we'll find ya Ma."

He hung up. Charlie looked shell-shocked. "Wait, why did you-...?"

"Makes sense, Princess, Al and Rosie are like the nightmare godparents to Carmilla's girls and would've told them to use the Summoning Response Plan they made up decades ago. We can't do anything for em right away, but we can figure out who was persistently Summoning the Boss and the others." Husk turned to the King. "You got any ideas? I know we didn't get much info, but you can't delay being summoned too long, 'cause they eventually snap through whatever barriers you put up. S'why most just let it happen."

"Ooooh, was that what that was about. I thought he was posturing... or panicked. No, I have no idea what this is. None of this should be happening. BUT! I can focus on the residuals and work out where the Overlords are, and thankfully we have a handy dandy summoning point right here."

The sigil was intricate, incorporating antlers and several symbols Lucifer didn't recognise. "Well, it's not great that they all have their own sigils like this... makes summoning someone easier if you have their soul sigil to call them with. But, it also means that if I visit each one in turn, I can chase the destination easier."

The King split into multiple clones of himself. They started outside, unfurling wings and taking off.

The one that remained, the supposed original, stood in the middle of the large circular design seared into his previously pristine hotel carpets. Focusing...

As the clones alighted on each of the spots an Overlord was summoned from, linking their search with his, Lucifer felt a burgeoning sense of nausea rising. Each one linking the summoning point to the same location.

His mind followed the trail, and gasped in horror.

"Dad? Dad what is it? Are they okay? Can we help?"

"...this is bad." is all he returned.

------------------

Basic idea:

DHORKS has gotten some competent leadership and the backing of an angelic being who hides their face in blinding golden light. Sounds female though, and she brought information on how to call up powerful demons to do their bidding.

Giving them secret knowledge to imbue them all with more power to fight the hoardes of hell.

With unlimited funding and operatives scouring the globe for ingredients, the internet for rituals, it wasn't hard to find the way to call up the Sovereign Overlords. Sinners who had climbed to the highest ranks and held extreme power... and the souls of millions were tethered to each one.

The perfect conduits to take control of the place, and provide the catalyst for change.

The Overlords were summoned one by one. The first ones seemed less alarmed, like they expected it, and treated them cordially, until the holy manacles were applied. Then they fought and snarled and lashed out. but their powers were drained through the devices.

Eventually, they could be subdued enough to place within the reinforced cylinders that would become their home for however long DHORKS and their benefactor deigned to keep them 'alive' for study and use.

The later ones were hostile from the start, demanding answers and attempting escape. The television and wifi doll one nearly did. And whatever the moth one did to the summoners wasn't clear, but they did have to consult a doctor after 4 hours due to... Concerns.

The Cannibal fought them, and took a good few chunks from everyone in her vicinity before the combination of additional rights, holy light and the electrified platform were able to subdue her long enough for the manacles to go on.

It was the last one that was being a nuisance the most, ignoring them somehow. Snuffing out candles and shadows tipping over the sacrificial blood and bone offerings.

Eventually, their benefactor grew tired and added something to the circle, forcing the connection wide open. And they dragged the unusual creature through. He grew to massive proportions and began to destroy... but they were prepared, the benefactor had warned them some of them oculd do this. Angents #1 and #2 aso mentioend a bird that could swell in size and commit unholy acts.

Must be like that.

By the time they got him down enough to manacle, the room and the inhabitants were in shambles.

The overlords were lined up in their cylinders, and there was a perverse joy in seeing them shout and threaten, slam against the reinforced glass and attempt to break free. The manacles pulsed and drained power away, feeding into some odd machine the benefactor had shared the design for, soemthing that would help them overthrown the Devil and Hell itself.

The chambers with the Demons began to fill with a gelatinous liquid, sending them into frantic attempts to escape, it was almost hilarious... but in the end, they all succumbed to the sedative effects.

-----------

Rescue Mission

Who is the benefactor? So many options.

Break the machine.

Pride in uproar - the Sins being called to help manage?

Etc.

Its 130am and i have to be up too soon. So, let me know your thoughts.

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

Alastor Shuts Down the Airwaves to Shut Vox Up

Alastor completely shuts down the Airwaves in Hell to prevent Vox from airing his defeat at Adam's hands, the shutdown accidentally affects Heaven, Earth and the other Rings and everything that runs on them.

The only way to restore it that Alastor will agree too, is if Vox deletes all the footage and never mentions it ever again via a binding deal.

Unfortunately for a exasperated Charlie (who has no idea why they're beefing, yet) both Overlord's are giving Lucifer a run for his money in the Pride department.

Lucifer and the Sins are trying to figure out how Alastor twisted the airwaves to his control to the point neither he, the Sins or the Seraphim in Heaven can undo it without asking Alastor directly.

Alastor making a deal with Roo for his absolute got-tier power and control over the airwaves, a separate unconnected fully fulfilled deal compared to his current one with Lilith. Roo didn't expect Alastor to Jailbreak his powers to this extent, she's watching through Hell's eyes with popcorn. She's watching Earth too because Alastor did basically send it back to the radio age technologically, so much entertaining drama!

I've always loved the headcanon that Alastor's radiowaves are the only reason Vox can do what he does. Not sure if him knowing that first, or discovering it when Alastor pulls the metaphorical rug out from under him, is funnier.

"How the FUCK are you doing this?"

"I'm the RADIO DEMON, what do you think that means, your Lowness?"

"Oh f-... you know what? No, I'm not rising to the bait this time."

"Well of course not, you don't have a step ladder."

"WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME SINNER????"

"Dad, deep breaths remember?"

"Oh we're WELL beyond mindfulness Sweetie, I'm wondering if smiting the fucking deer will get our airwaves back!"

Alastor looked thoughtful, but not overtly worried about the threat to his life. "Possible... I've never tried to take control of the airwaves like this before being killed, so honestly I can't imagine the outcome. It's also possible that I could take the airwaves WITH me."

"...well, that's not great. I could always reforge them, if it does go down with the prick, I guess..."

"No, nope, noooooooooo, no killing or smiting or anything. Not in my hotel, not to my staff, and not to my friends."

"I can find you ten nicer overlords at," Lucifer can't hold back the scoff, "'sovereign level', the cute little things think themselves so powerful and what are they? You could kill them with a single hand if you got bored..."

"Oh? Then why didn't our darling Charlotte rip Valentino in half for licking her arm, or more realistically, what he's done to Angel and his other thralls all these years?"

"Who. is. Val?"

"But Al, if I used my powers against him then I lose the chance to help him change..." the King was incandescent with rage.

But Alastor had shadowed behind her, his sharp claws resting gently on n her shoulders in a show of familiarity that heralded he was about to say something that upended her psychological wellbeing for good.

"Hmmm, or if you look at it from another angle... every day he continues to breathe, he is forcing people into acts they do not consent to, beating them without mercy for any sign of defiance, and you have the power to remove that threat. But your own heart stops you... what weight can you place on your own feelings, your own potential guilt, against the perpetual suffering of his thralls?"

"I-... I um... I didn't think about it like that... oh fuck, it's my fault I left Angel with him after pissing him off!"

"Yes... and no." Alastor's eyes haze slightly, as if he's seeing something beyond the room, it's gone in an instant. "Let me tell you something that you may not have seen, given your swaddled upbringing... when someone is in a terrible place, under the hand or heel or chain of someone more dangerous, more powerful, they tend to try their best to shield others. Did not Angel immediately attempt to force you out, which you took as capitulation to Valentino's requests... but in fact kept you safe from anything he, or his smoke, may have done?"

Charlie was starting to shake with horror. "You're right... if I hadn't been so... then he wouldn't have..."

"And what did we learn from the experience?"

"To... try a different approach? Maybe next time I can make an appointment to talk to Valentino and-..."

"Wrong." An audience booed at Charlie, and she gets the distinct impression he was aborting the desire to bonk her on the head with his microphone. "Firstly, no matter how powerful you are my dear you will not be going within 100 feet of either Valentino or Vox without someone else with you... they have ways of taking control of people, and I don't want to imagine what they'd do to you under the circumstances. Exploiting your power would be the iccing on the cake... but the moth is... vile. Your father would tear this realm apart if he saw what the moth would make you do."

Alastor swanned around to face Charlie head on, ignoring the simmering angel in the corner, who seemed to be panicking at this new implication. The floor was melting under his hovering feet.

"Secondly, the moth values control. You are a stronger person coming to 'ask' when he knows you can take... and even if you were not the Princess, you are still someone attempting to remove his toy. No matter how nicely you asked or approached the topic... he would take out his anger and feelings of inadequacy on Angel. And if not Angel, one of the dozens upon dozens of sinners under him... literally, I understand, based on some of the things Angel and his cohort have said."

"Then how do I-...?"

"You kill him. You pull his flesh from his bones until his nerves are raw to the air and exposed long enough for you to set him alight, or start carving meat off with an angelic blade, or... something to remind the moth that this is hell, and he has transgressed far beyond what is acceptable. Especially towards you, and those you care for."

"I can't..."

"Then you will delegate the task to someone who can. I believe Vagatha, Husker and I are more suited to such actions..."

"Is that what this whole overlord tantrum is about? Wanting to manipulate MY DAUGHTER into letting you kill another overlord? Can't you just do that on your own time?"

A whump-whomp noise plays, Alastor snaps his head 180 degrees to face the king. "I promise you, I need no permission to tear him limb from limb... but there will be consequences for the hotel, for hell in general, should the Vees be annihilated from the face of the place. And it would be at least two of them, Vox and the moth are together, he would not allow this to go unchallenged."

Lucifer snorts in disbelief. "The tv? Isn't he the guy refusing to do something for you and that's what set this whole pissbaby fight off? Can you sinners just get your shit together and stop this nonsense already. Some of us have actually important things to do outside of mediate your spats."

"Says the out of touch monarch who hasn't stepped a foot outside his palace in decades... who has no idea how twisted things have become. Tell me, are you certain that the moth's pheromones, or the television's hypnosis would glance off you? Off the sins or goetia? Can you be certain that even if you are immune, those beneath you haven't been secretly primed by subconscious compulsions to slide an angelic dagger between your ribs, or crush some into your meals?"

"I-... what? No one's that powerful."

"Actually dad... even I know that Vox has the power to make people do things against their will. All he needs to do it is to catch you looking at a screen, a tv, your phone, a tablet... I've seen entire crowds of sinners caught by some of the animated billboards." Charlie interjects, looking sickened, as if she's just coming to terms with the reality of it herself.

"Look outside little Majesty... right now they are neutralised, but I want you to really SEE how much of Hell is covered from end to end with technology, with screens, with animated advertisements and spy cameras... do you know how easily Vox can ensnare half the population simply by flashing his eye in their peripheral?"

"...that's not-..."

"Oh but it is, more's the pity. Not to mention the moth's pheromonic controls, his exhaled smoke can dull the senses and make people susceptible to control. And his spittle... well, it has aphrodesiac properties alongside a removal of will, thought and consent. That's how he gets the majority of his contracts, he need only put a drop in a drink or on foodstuffs... I believe he once bragged that he had merely put some on a bracelet he gave a favoured potential thrall, and once absorbed into the skin... he had them. Quite literally too, based on his vulgar discussions."

There's a pause.

"Do you understand, now, the scale of power they have amassed?" Alastor tilts his head, ever the showman. "Ah, but I forget the powerhouse here... I will admit to being less familiar with her abilities, as she operates on the little phones and internet webbing... but from observations and Rosie's networks, I believe that Miss Velvette's capabilities are a power called Influence.

Which has been explained as using something called clickbait, social media and persistent bombardment of her ideas threaded with her own power of suggestion, to take control of minds and beliefs. I am not certain if she can mobilise thralls agaisnt people like Vox and Valentino, but it seems her influence is pervasive... so it's likely."

"She can... Vaggie said that's why people are frantic to sell themslves to her to buy new tacky products and fashion. And how she can flip the public's opinion against someone so quickly. They don't have to think anymore." Charlie shudders, holding herself at the idea of being puppeted by someone else. To not be herself anymore was terrifying. "Angel confirmed it too, said he's seen her do it... her models don't stop eating by themselves, she burrows into their heads somehow and turns off the hunger until they die of starvation, so they'll fit her clothes. Which is awful!"

"Exactly, my dear! The three of them have devastatingly concerning powers on their own, but as a trio this puts us all in quite the predicament around how to manage them without placing greater Pride and possibly other rings, in peril. Don't get me wrong, that would be hilarious to observe... but it wouldn't serve your little dream of redeeming sinners, would it? If you had to kill off potentials because they'd been sent as ineffective brainwashed spies? And the spin that picture box could put on it..."

"You're right. How are we supposed to fight against that sort of clout? They control the media, and... wait, does the broadcast go out to other rings? Could he control the hellborn?"

"No, he shouldn't be able to. They're warded against that sort of thing, I put it in their coding... or whatever it is they have." Lucifer jumps in, frowning. "But... I mean, if they're constantly using the devices or watching television, I suppose it could build up over time... then, maybe. I don't like that."

"Starting to see the predicament, now, hmmm? Quite a problem. Easily solved if we kill them, or subjugate them under the right contract... but it would need to be held by someone who has the willpower to maintain absolute control... or someone who cannot be touched by their powers." His eyes slide to Charlotte, and then to the King. "Which of you wants this burden? There's no room for nicities here... and I assume dear Charlotte would be against me shredding their souls across the airwaves to dispel their threat once and for all?"

"That's horrible! Please don't do that, I could try to redee-..."

"No."

"What? It's my hotel, I can-..."

"I said no, my dear, and I would personally murder them if they came to stay here. Do bandage your bleeding heart a moment and THINK properly. Who would benefit most from your safe, protective, heaven-focused ideals and program? Perhaps those who have suffered under the Vees...? Would they stay here knowin you were offering such kindness to the moth? the Doll? the television? No. They would call you delucsional and crawl back into Hell to find a new safe place... likely even worse than the ones they left."

"No, I could... I could make a second hotel!"

"No."

"Hey, this is MY hotel and yes we're jointly doing this, but my say is FINAL!"

"Ah, where was this fire when Valentino showed you his cruelty? Where was the command when Susan challenged you? Does it only come out when you feel a loss of control? When you need to be defensive? Hmm.... could the thralls of the Vees feel the same, when shown you would wetnurse the very snakes who harmed them?"

"I-... I didn't mean to snap at you. You're right, and I hate that you're right... but maybe some people don't deserve forgiveness. They have to earn it on their own."

"That's the spirit!"

"Again, bellhop, is this whole...' Lucifer waves a hand at everything. "...a ploy to force Char Char into agreeing to kill these Wees? Because while I can see the necessity, now that I've heard your petition about this..." he tried to conceal his delight at the deer's spluttered indignation at the idea he had petitioned the throne for aid, "this whole ridiculous mess is attracting heaven's attention and we're royally screwed if they start poking about. Can you please just turn the airwaves back on for anyone BUT the Hees?"

"This was unrelated, actually, for the record. I was reminding Vox of his place, and that the pretty little throne he's made himself is tenuous at best... and easily torn down. I made a reasonable request, which he denied." Alastor shrugged. "Let's imagine that he's had time to soothe his hurt feelings and may be open to negotiation... I'm also inclined to simply kill him."

"But Rosie said you two were friends, why would y-... oh, I wasn't supposed to tell you that she told me that." Charlie deflates slightly as radio dials are aimed right at her. Not afraid, but feeling like she's stepped on a landmine of a topic and not sure how to escape.

"Perhaps we were. Which is why he continues to breathe despite his flagrant betrayals and petty squabbling... why his obsessive stalking has not resulted in his entrails being spread across Pride like Sinsmas decorations. But tolerance can only go so far. Especially if his actions jeopardise everything happening here."

"What does he have on you? Sex tape? Drunken karaoke video? A defeat...?" Lucifer noted the disgust at the first suggestion, the hint of amusement at the second, and the sharp narrowing of eyes at the third. "A defeat, then. Aren't you one of the more powerful overlordlings? Why not just take another swing at the person and set the record straight?"

"Regrettably, they're already double-dead and that rather ruins the novelty."

Charlie, unfortunately, is extremely clever and puts it all together. Her gasp so intense it felt like she removed the entire supply of oxygen from the room. "Was it against Adam? Was that the defeat? But how did he-... I didn't see Vox anywhere on the field?"

"Drones. The picture box has always tried to get others to fight his battles, or at the least, watch them... I believe Angel refers to his obsession as a... 'voyeurism fetish'. I know what the words mean individually but refuse to acknowledge them collectively."

"Pfft, I thought humans had moved away from that prudish nonsense decades ago..." Lucifer snarks back. "And more importantly, YOU faced ADAM? Hah! Got your ass kicked huh? Mr Overconfident?"

"Actually, it was going fantastically until he remembered that damned guitar thing of his. I suspect Adam has never had to actually fight someone who hit back in his entire afterlife. Sloppy."

"Says that guy Adam annihilated... your ancient ass got wrecked by the dick master huh?"

"Please... never refer to it in that manner again." Around the ever present grin, Alastor was clearly scowling in distaste.

Lucifer blinked, and blanched. "Oh... yeah no, I heard it that time. No. That's just... ew."

"Ah, poetry."

Charlie is in front of Alastor now, and he's not sure when that happened. Her hands fist his lapels and ask the taller demon to hinge as she gets into his face.

"YOU. SHOULD. HAVE. SAID. SOMETHING!" she snarls, and her clenched fists are trembling almost as hard as her bottom lip. "I thought you DIED and then we had to keep FIGHTING and you didn't come back for AGES and I thought-... I thought-..."

Alastor's shadow detangles the fingers from fabric, gently and with more care than one would assume. "Clearly, not strongly enough to act on it. For I returned to a room, and not a memorial..."

"Well... well Husk and Niffty said they could feel their connection to you get a bit thin but it was still there so I thought..." A thought strikes, and those devastatingly wet puppy dog eyes turn their full effect on the bewildered cannibal deer. "...did you think we didn't care, because I didn't make you your own memorial?"

Well, he hadn't been aware of harbouring that little grievance before, but NOW... now Alastor realised that was where the weighty agitated feeling in his chest was coming from.

"I'm so sorry Al, if I'd known I would have-... I don't know... I know you dislike having your photo taken or videos, so maybe not a statue but I could have found a way... maybe a record player that had some of your best shows on it? I'm not sure... I'm really sorry you felt ignored, though."

"Sweetie, please calm down, the idiot's alive so it's pointless to even discuss this." Lucifer responded to her distress automatically, pulling her into his arms and not so subtly away from the deer. "And it's not like he actually sacrificed anything anyway, not like Sir Pissyapants or Dazzle... they actually died fighting. He just, what... ran when things got hard?"

"Fuck you."

"You couldn't afford it, even if I was interested, Bambi."

There's a record scratch. "Wait, what?" The bafflement was palpable.

Hah. Lucifer decided to take mental note that sexual innenuendo seemed to flummox the sinner, so he was definitely using that in future verbal sparring.

"Dad, please... he might have been hurt." She turns back to Alastor, oblivious to Lucifer's displeasure at her lost attention. "Are you? Hurt, I mean. I've seen you fight, and there's not a lot that would make you back down. It would have to have been bad to-..."

"Nonsense, I'm perfectly fine."

"Oh? So if I go get box and ask him to show us the video you're holding all of hell and heaven hostage over, then I won't see you get folded like a lawn chair by the idiot of eden? Hmmm?" Lucifer shot back, feeling the moment the barb sunk in deep. Alastor flinched. Actually flinched in response.

"I-..."

"Yeah? Shall I call him or are you going to tell us what happened?"

You could hear his teeth grinding against one another. "Fine."

"Well?"

"The weapon... it broke my microphone, and-..."

"Hah, so you're saying all your cute little tricks are because of your little toy? How did someone like you reach the pinnacle of the heap, you meek little fawn?"

"I can see why they cast you out of heaven, if you were this fucking irritating and self righteous up there!"

"Okay that's it, I'm ripping your face off and using it to feed Keekee, sinner!"

"NOPE! NO! ENOUGH, both of you! It's like babysitting two goetia hatchlings coming into their powers... just, ENOUGH already!" Charlie shouts, horns flaring. "Alastor, that was an awful thing to say to my dad, we don't talk about the Fall... if you do it again, I'll respond by ensuring you have to run the next five weeks of mindfulness pilates classes. And Angel will have a front row seat."

She whirls on Lucifer, "And you, Dad, need to stop trying to compete over everything! Alastor was actually opening up about something he was clearly feeling vulnerable about and you just mocked him! To his face! We don't do that here, at my hotel. So ZIP IT!"

"I wouldn't say vulnerable..." Alastor growled, shadows climbing the walls.

"Oh, so you're not doing a little threat display to protect yourself from having a feeling then?" Lucifer deadpanned back. Gotcha.

"Alastor, I know Dad cut you off before, but would you be open to telling me what happened?"

"I've told you, he broke my microphone with his weapon, which has implications the breadth of which even I am uncertain about. Between the flash of the weapon and the sharp feedback surge of my additional power returning at speed to me... I didn't notice he'd swung again."

"Your microphone was a... battery? Like, you put extra power in it for emergencies?"

"Somewhat... it also helped to regulate the amount I used against opponents, mostly. But yes, if there was a time I had my power drained completely, there was enough in the microphone to supplement a base level of ability... perhaps teleport up to five or six people across a short distance, as needed."

Charlie, eyes wide and wet, chose not to comment on this clearly subconscious admission of some vague level of care towards the others in the hotel. Although, she suspected KeeKee was more likely to be removed to safety over, say, her Dad... but he was nigh indestructable, so presumably the king could save himself.

"I think... I think Mum and Dad had me do something similar when I was little and coming into my powers. I had a special tiara thing that I would have to put excess energy into each day and... I don't think I ever took it back. But if it was to break..." she shuddered, that would certainly sting having all that pure power slam back into her without warning.

"Indeed."

"Well come on, deer, don't leave us in suspense... I hate cliffhangers, so get on with it. Adam broke your foci thing, and then swung at you again. Then what?" Lucifer taunted, dispassionately.

"Well, understandably, it hit and threw me back across the roof. My shadow half decided to force teleportation before the final blow came down. Nothing exactly exciting, but it would put a very large target on the hotel if Vox showed that footage... as I have claimed it as mine, and under my protection. Someone would come to test my capabilities, or take someone hostage, or try to wrest my power for themselves... you know how it is."

"Then just toss him out, Char Char, if it comes to that. And YOU, need to give back the airwaves, we need that to communicate between Rings AND with Heaven."

"No. Not until Vox capitulates, is killed or brought to heel under the contract of a powerful party."

"Stop it, you're falling into a dysregulation cycle again..."

"I don't believe that's the right term. Your lesson plan for next week's classes listed it as a conflict cycle... you may wish to ensure the correct terminology or you will be challenged by guests." Alastor jumped in primly, anything to derail this excruciating conversation.

"Of course, thank you for your feedback... wait, you read the whole planner? Tell me tell me tell me what did you thiiiiiiink?" This level of enthusiasm should, ideally, be illegal.

"A shade more insightful and therapeutically minded than your previous attempts. Not that the trust falls and group hugs weren't hilariously ineffective... but I get the impression that you seem to finally understand that sinners are more complex than your initial ideas believed. Have you received guidance from an actual psychologist? There must be at least one down here, certainly Freud has to be here somewhere... there are wanted posters all over the place for his head... well, either of them, really."

"HAH, no, he's in Sloth because Belphagor called dibs on punishing him for the damage he did to psychology!" Lucifer bursts out, unable to hold that back. "Not to mention the idiot who came up with phrenology, you don't want to know what she's done to him..."

"Intriguing. Do the Sins normally have a chance to call 'dibs' on certain souls?"

"No, not really... but medicine and wellbeing were things she created before she fell, and Bel... hoo-boy, was PISSED to find out about that pair. She did some hilarious stuff to the guys who ran the concentration camps and thers who did horrific experiments on the helpless... and a bunch of other fucked up former humans. Upside of you all being eternally reforming, she can get really ironic."

"I would have thought the sin of greed would reward souls, like that orange fellow everyone is waiting to get their hands on?"

"Mam would HATE having someone like that Trump guy in his Ring, he likes to have all the cash and all the adulation. But he'll torture the guy fantastically, he's had dibs over poor Ozzie for ages... but I'll work out a schedule so Lust gets a chance to teach the creeper consent..."

Lucifer blinks. "Why am I telling you this? None of your business, Bambi... kind of surprised Satan didn't make a ploy for you, or maybe even Beez, she loves her cannibals and bettes."

Those eyes flicker red. "Huh... serial killer, then? Yeah, that fits. Hmm... interesting choice of victims, I get why they had to go but you enjoyed their removal a tad too much. Ate them up too, huh? Oh, Depression era, of course."

"Stop that!" Alastor snarled, feeling far too exposed and unsure how to begin covering yourself from the cosmic gaze of a being reading your soul.

"Dad, this really is a violeation of our privacy and consent rules at the hotel."

"Now, now Sweetie... even you can do this if you choose. It might help you figure out where your souls got broken, in life, how to help. No wonder you're so against those using domestic violence, little fawn, but... still, was murder the only option there? Oh simmer down, I'm kidding. You've been on both sides of the violence, and now you're a big scary overlord who kills off any others who get too dangerous or unhinged. A very fucked up moral compass in here."

"One could say the same for you, little King."

"Oho, short jokes still? Cute. But you know what else I can see? That little love tap you've sewn shut on your torso... it's calling out to me, and anyone with even a trace of Heavenly blood in them. Best hope Vaggie doesn't want to be the next top overlord. I can also see traces of the deal you have with my wife. Tell me... how's Lily doing these days?"

"...I would hazard to guess things aren't going as well as planned, given Adam is dead."

"Oh, and why's that, bellhop?"

"Because her deal with the first buffoon was the only thing granting her entry to Heaven... and now, I assume, it falls into the hands of that little sociopath that targeted our dear Vagatha. She doesn't seem the rational type to simply... let bygones be bygones."

The porcelain pair go paler still.

"Mum's... alive? In Heaven?"

"That little exorcist can't possibly hurt her, they're too far apart in power..."

"Oh? And angelic steel wouldn't hurt you, your Majesty, if it was slid between your ribs? It might not kill you, but there are other things in the clouds that could... flaming swords? Beams of pure holy light or whatever it was Adam was slinging about so willy-nilly?"

"...yes, yes that's up there. How do we get her out? Why did she go up there to start with?" Lucifer is panting, air feeling sluggish and hard to hold onto.

"An... exchange. A promise. No more rebellion, no harm to Charlie. There were other clauses I was not made aware of... but she is her own hostage and assurance."

"Is that why you came here?" Charlie asks. "Did you come here because of something mum said or did?"

"...perhaps. Her powers and abilities cannot breach the two realms, but she can extend protection through those..."

"On her chain?" Lucifer interjects. "And what do you get out of her owning your soul, bambi? Was it Lily who helped you monopolise the airways?"

"Hah, no! I could already do that. She merely stepped in during a rather difficult disagreement with someone else, several someones in fact, and dispelled the situation. Her magic bolstered a natural resistence to something, and I agreed to provide protection to her daughter... and to a lesser extent her bufffoon of a husband, whilst she was away."

"Why the seven rings would Lily think you could protect ME?!"

"You're physically powerful, yes, but your mind and heart and guilt weigh you down so effectively it's a wonder you can stand to keep breathing. It would take nothing for someone to manipulate you, you lost your will to live for a long time there, and only Charlotte brought you back to yourself. She wanted you to be awakened, and kept from rash decisions around Heaven, around Charlie. To protect you from yourself. Which I found preposterous and decided to focus on Charlotte's hilarious venture first... assuming you would arrive at some point."

"You have to defend us? Is that why you went to fight Adam even though he could have killed you?"

"Do stop the weeping, Charlotte, I only have so many handkerchiefs to hand. The roof was strategically chosen as it allowed the widest casting of my shield, I would have been a target whether I chose to fight Adam or not... and perhaps your mother asked me to keep you safe, but the definition is broad, I could have worked my way out of it as needed."

"How? Lily's damn good at deals, she rarely leaves leeway."

"As am I... but her terms were also pressured by Heaven's demands. She could only ask to keep Charlotte safe... that could mean from herself, from emotional harm like losing a friend, from physical harm wherein I could shadow her from the battlefield, from trauma and despair, from heartbreak, from the devastation of seeing what Valentino has done to his thralls today, from societal scorn by keeping her locked away... and so on. Imagine the weight of such an undefined task... and what it would allow."

"Devious."

"Thank you."

"So, your stick... was that what Lily reinforced?"

"No. It was an inherent ability that she strengthened... but my staff had allowed me to make contact with the Queen covertly. I can only imagine she will be frustrated it has been damaged."

"You weren't... forced to take the deal, were you?" Charlie hedges, holding fast to her mental image of her mother as a caring, strong and powerful woman with family at the forefront of her mind.

"No, it was my choice. Her bolstering would not unravel if the deal broke, but the deal allowed her to summon me to her in her new prison dimension. Getting back was a rather terrible drop, but... it's survivable."

"Bullshit! There's no way you've Fallen down here... there's a lot of sound and fire and most people scream."

"Ah, true. But I can go incoporeal as needed and, well... your mother wanted to keep things secret..." The stitches flared right across Alastor's face. "There may have been some feedback through the airways that overloaded a few servers or speakers, but I did try not to cause a ruckus."

"Oh yeah? Well, where did you land? There should be a crater or something..."

"Like I said, I can become intangible as needed, and you could say that I did not impact... more dispersed across an area in a shockwave, rather than striking the ground and burying myself. It took some time to get the more wilful pieces to rejoin the whole, but I managed."

"Is that why you were gone for seven years?" Charlie asked, recalling what Vaggie said to Angel.

"What? No, no, it takes a few weeks at most. And I'm rather good at it now... the Queen has a habit of getting bored and wanting to talk to someone quite regularly now."

"That... doesn't sound right. Lillith fell WITH me, she knows how much it-... how long it took for us to heal and-... she wouldn't just call someone up for a chat knowing that to get 'home' would involve a fall..."

Alastor's ears did a funny little twitch.

"And what, exactly, does that uncertain little wiggle of those fluffy things mean, bellhop?"

"Nothing."

"Really?"

Alastor hums in response. Infuriating bastard.

"Al, is there... something wrong with my mother?" Charlie asked, touching his arm so tentatively you'd think she was trying to encourage a sick feral cat to come close enough to be helped. It did make the overlord rankle a little, his dignity had already been dragged through the mud today.

His ears flick again.

"Please, tell me..."

"...it is just a supposition, there is no evidence or proof, my dear."

"Al, you're one of the smartest people I've met down here, especially when it comes to reading people and seeing what isn't being said... if you saw something, I believe it's real."

Alastor's fingers curl as if to play with his microphone, before being forcibly stilled.

"Something has been changing in her majesty... she isn't herself. There's a darkness in the corners of her eyes, a weigh in her gaze and words, a change to her demeanour when we talked... and she started to find enjoyment in suffering. Which, as I understand, is so very different to the Queen whose heart broke for Hell and she led the rebellion to protect."

"Do you know what made her like that?"

"...I have an idea, but do not understand what purpose she would have with Lillith. Especially not when the Queen was in Heaven, it would serve her no purpose to corrupt her in a place where it would be immediately obvious. You may have noticed the feathered fools are ridiculous about their constant use of holy light up there..."

Lucifer looked ill. "If you're referring to who I think you are, then... for one, how the hell do you know here? And two, how can you be sure Heaven isn't doing something to reset Lillith back to her Eden self or something?"

"Oh, She reached out when I was on earth actually... I turned her down and she ensured I was killed for it. She halted my initial fall to demand a deal, and I renegotiated the terms which ticked her off no end... but I rather think she enjoyed the chaos I brought. As for the Queen... well... once you have felt that particular touch of darkness, you can just about taste it on others, like a cloying perfume or... perhaps a brand that can only be sensed in the right light. It's hard to articulate..."

"Who?" Charlie breaks in, getting frustrated at missing the most important clue here.

"She's... something that was here before I Fell in with your mother, my duckling... She likes to go by 'Roo' which stands for the Root of all Evil'. She... was... Eve, but the condemnation of Heaven and the creation of sins led her to become a vessel for all evil, for all darkness and loss in all humanity. It twisted her violently. She tends to reach out to humans who catch her fancy and if they take her deal, they become near supernatural murder machines. Heaven has been blocking her for centuries."

"And... she has a deal with mum?"

"No. I think... I think perhaps it's a sympathetic resonance. Lillith never forgot Eve, she always wanted to find a way to get back to her, to free her from Adam. And when Eve died and became... Roo... well, she would visit her to try and help with her songs. The first centuries were horrendous, only Lily's songs could soothe Eve's agony... physical and mental. I couldn't find a way to heal her. We did what we could."

"That's terrible, how can we help them?"

Lucifer looks lost. "I'm... I'm not sure. I think we need to take this to the council of Sins, and the higher goetia, ask them for theories on how best to assist them both. Some of the Goetia have been stdying prophecies and ancient magicks and the like, they may know something new or helpful."

His eyes flick back to the Overlord. "Okay, first things first... if I throw my weight behind your request and ensure Box removes all videos and never speaks about it, will you give the airwaves back?"

"...yes."

"Good, okay, if I fix your little microphone thing, can you contact Lily with me or Charlie in the room to talk to her?"

"She... will likely not be pleased you know."

"Will she summon you?"

"If she is still able to, I suspect so."

"Okay, what if I put a tracking charm on something you can wear like a cufflink or something, and if you Fall I can portal you safely to the ground again? We can get news faster if you're not reforming from shards of shades, right?"

"...hmmm, I dislike having others' influences on me."

A lightbulb goes off for Lucifer.

"That's the reason you're so pro-Wee Murder isn't it? They tried to use their abilities on you, all at once... and Lily had to step in, right?"

"Technically, yes, but not for the reason you think. Her intervention was the only reason I was able to remain myself... and unmolested."

"Unmol-... no. Don't you guys just kill each other?"

"Vox is obsessed with anything he can't have, or breaking down any No he has ever heard. To be denied something he wanted was too much for him, and..." Alastor paused, thinking how to phrase it. "...he attempted to ensure compliance by 'fixing' something he felt was broken. By any means necessary."

"You weren't interested in him, or just in general?"

"In general. They used to lobotomise or shock people into vegetables for less, in my day... and Vox has never grown out of the mentality that everything is fixable to his ideals if he applies enough money, charisma or force."

"Hmmm, hmmm, hmm... okay, so what I'm hearing is that no one is safe under the Gees and we need to burn down their tower as soon as possible, and no one in this hotel goes near their territory alone if at all possible? Okay? Okay. I have a really awesome hellfireball I haven't been able to use for decades because well, the splashback tends to be a bit messy but..."

"As much as I would love to, it falls into the hands of dear Charlotte here... who I suspect will ask us to spare at least two of them. However, we can always do our best to place them under such intensely written contracts that even a sin couldn't break out of them if they were desperate to do so."

"I... I really feel that we should try talking... but, I know that... it hasn't worked before, and there's a LOT of risks to doing so. But I can't just LET you kill them..."

"Then ask us to manage the Vees, and if accidents happen... they happen. I will endeavour not to drop the moth down an elevator shaft with his wings torn off, but well, after the strike from Adam I'm afraid my grip isn't as strong as it was... ah well."

"Oh, Dad... is there anything we can do about the injury?"

"I mean, sure. I can heal it, but that takes a while. Oooh, I have a thing!" He manifests a duck.

"No."

"Come ooooooon, it's adorable, this is Lady Elizabethrean Nightingale Winthrope-Quacklington the third, and she WILL emit an explosive laser if you aim her at an enemy and think 'Spaghetti Bolognese' so... don't do that unless there's no other choice. BUT, I made her to passively absorb angelic essence from heaven-based wounds. Some of the sins and even Lily got nicked during the first Exterminations before we enforced the sinners-only rule. A few hellborn were really hurt, before that., she really came in handy back then."

"And I should... carry this about like a clutch purse or something? Turn it into a necklace?"

"Pfft, stop being dramatic! Wha-bam! Travel sized!"

The duck, from large elaborate white wig to fancy ruffled purple dress, was now only two inches high. It slipped easily into Alastor's pocket... and clearly started work immediately, because a very subtle set of tension in those sharp shoulders, eased visibly.

"You're welcome, stubborn. Now, let's fix your stick, and we'll go fuck those Vees..."

"Oooh, did I walk in at the right time!" Angel croons, grin nearly wider than Alastor's. "But ya know there's like, pills fer that, you don't need to get the King to... heh, lay hands. But I can if ya'd like."

The waggling of those eyebrows deserved their own censorship warning.

Alastor made a symbol in the air and the halves of his beloved microphone appeared. Charlie took them into her own hands, looking upon the thing with sorrow.

"I'm sorry Al... the day you let me borrow it in Cannibal town, I felt so powerful, so believed in. I know it's important to you... so, if you want, I can try to fix it myself?"

She doesn't see the subtle look Alastor threw at the King, who nodded, confirming Charlie was powerful enough.

"If you wish, my dear."

The shockwave of her attempt took the unsuspecting Angel, Husk and Niffty off their feet. The maid disappeared out the door witha comical Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

"Well done, I knew you could do it." Alastor encouraged, delighted as his microphone's eye opened, focusing on him and tugging a gentle flow of his magical energy, pooling it within itself. "Welcome back."

"You're welcome!"

"Okay, okay, so let's go do the thing with Box... and then, perhaps, we gently persuade them to hand over their souls or be torn to pieces and scattered across eternity as screaming atoms." Lucifer grins, as if he just suggested dessert.

"Sounds like a delightful schedule, musn't keep them waiting... come along, Lucifer." Alastor dissolves into shadows and seemingly heads to where Vox was being contained in the basement.

"Hey, that's cheating!" Lucifer shouts to the empty room, ad disappears in a puff of red sparkles.

Charlie looked delighted and distraught. "I don't... like what they're about to do... but I understand why." The delight wins out. "But did you HEAR that? Al called Dad by his name! AND they're going to overthrow evil overlords TOGETHER! If I can get those two on the same page, it's only a matter of time before we can get someone fully redeemed. Ooooh, I'm going to focus on the GOOD things happening!"

"Er, okay? Cool. They're gonna go piss off the Vees?" Angel has grasped onto what's happening, and seems a little panicked.

He shudders as his phone blinks back to life, and autmoatically starts blaring notifications... even without any way to make it work, Val had been blowing up his phone and alternating between love bombing and threats as usual.

Fuck.

Husk, who had been listening longer than the others in his invisible status as barkeep, was smiling a tad too smug.

"Just wait here. Promise that things'll work out..."

"If I don't go he'll kill me."

"I think that's being handled."

The bar radio clicked on and a horrendous, familiar shriek of pure agony began. The lung capacity was sincerely impressive, honestly. Angel nearly bursts into tears as his collar and chains manifest, fracturing with every scream, slightly softer than the last. The cries of someone who knows there is no end but death.

When it finally shatters, husk has the arachnid wrapped in his arms and wings, as Angel sobs. He's dreamed of this so fucking long, but it always felt like the sort of hope you attached to winning the lottery... it would be nice, but this ain't a fairytale.

----------------------------------------------------

"Sorry to break up whatever this disgusting debauchery is... but if the traitor and her royal slut would look this way?" comes an unexpected voice, as a window smashed open.

A bloodied Vaggie rolled a few feet before forcing herself upright again. "Bad news, babe, the side piecce is here looking for revenge..."

"I WAS NOT HIS SIDE PIECE!" screams the enraged exorcist, who launches herself at Vaggie, weapon out.

Only to be backhanded across the room by a dark tendril of shadow, which pulled back to Alastor's shade. It was frowning at Lute.

"Hey, whoever just bothered my future daughter in law is going to be torn limb from limb when I get over there..." Lucifer interjects over the airwaves and diminishing screams.

"Yes, yes, do you want to spread him into atoms or shall I break him across the broadcast? Do you know scissor, knife, chainsaw little majesty?"

"Er, you do it... I'm going to rip the wings off what feels like an exorcist in my realm without sanction."

"Tch, your loss Lucifer. Now, Valentino... let's fragment the last pieces of 'you' shall we?"

The radio clicks off with a garbled whine.

Lucifer arriving in all his glory ready to kill an angel without mercy.

------------------------------------------------

Ooooh, additional drama if Lute uses this opportunity to try and get revenge for Adam under the guise of 'defending heaven' from someone holding it hostage. Aiming for the beacon of Alastor's wound, because he did kill and trap a number of her sisters. She also heard whispers of bolstering her power through taking powerful sinners' deals/chains onto herself.

Anything to get an advantage... she doesn't realise that normally exorcists can't, but if she could take them on, it would mean she is tainted, and Fallen without having taken on the mantle. Fascinating psychological twist for Lute there.

she intends to go for Vaggie's princess next, to make the traitor watch as the light leaves Charlie's eyes. And then, if the king destroys her... it doesn't matter, because she already won.

Then Lucifer would start a war, and the exorcists could annihilate the whole realm.

Oooh, she could use Sir Pentious as a HOSTAGE.

Which catches Emily's attention, and then Sera's who realise what Lute is doing. Then things get Fucked Up.

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

Headcanon - Overlords as Batteries

-------------

Shortly after the place reopens post-extermination, Charlie tries calling her mother again, leaving a delighted voicemail about what is happening. 

Cannibal town shuts down without warning, and when Charlotte and Niffty go to find out what’s up, only the little cannibette is allowed in. Everyone cagey. 

Someone has attacked Rosie and drained her power, it's there but faint for now, and she’s unable to be roused. Her cannibals are extremely protective, as they adore her, and Susan threatens to break Charlie's legs if she steps into town.

It’s heartwarming and terrifying.

Alastor appears upset by the news but doesn’t go to her, confusing Charlie.

“All of cannibal town would need to be decimated before they allow another overlord near Rosie in this state, even if we are close, dear.” he explains, trying for calm but shattering the mug in his hands. “And I strongly suspect Susan would go out of her way to flay us alive if we dared, hah.”

“Susan’s still alive?!” Lucifer spits his pancakes out. “I thought she was ancient last time I saw her, before your mother left, duckling. She beat one of the exterminators with her cane so badly it had to be carried back to Heaven… terrifying woman.” Thousand yard stare.

A week later, Zeezi’s district goes dark. The saurian sinners closing ranks and to the hotel, it's clear something has happened to her. Charlotte is able to get in as an impartial person, but Alastor is kept at the border.

He assures them it’s fine, he’s here because the dear princess had never had to come this way before and didn’t realise how many boobytraps were in the preceding streets. She is nigh indestructible, but… a mine is a mine, and it can hurt.

This is reluctantly accepted  (mainly because one of the brontosaurs watched him lift her out of the way of three separate spike traps, and punch a log trap to pieces while she sang her way to them.)

And then Angel comes back to the hotel shaken up, the day after, Valentino was in a fury because something had happened to Velvette. He couldn’t say what because the spider hadn’t seen her, but something was up.

Lucifer gives the sinner a little regenerative boost to settle the black eyes, because if he turned up without them the next day it would be a red flag to a bull for Val. 

Voxtech doesn’t report on what’s happening.

But Katie Killjoy and Tom Trench go behind the CEO to report on overlords falling into ‘stasis’ and being targeted by Something Unknown. The broadcast is cut off, but the damage is done.

As Valentino is taken out, leaving Vox alone to keep the doors shut against the masses seeking to change their fates, the other overlords are under siege too.

Zestial, Carmine and Alastor are left to monitor the rabble who attempt to broach territories and kill off the overlords. Normally it would be someone else’s problem but, one lost overlord was one thing… to have all new overlords all at once could send the system into a tailspin.

To be fair, a lot of suspicion is dropped on alastor immediately, but he is quite clear back that they would KNOW if it was him. And he would never think to harm Rosie.

Some feel that was a ploy… but until one of the overlords regains consciousness, its not possible to know who did what.

For the fourth time that day, Alastor was tearing a half-dozen sinners into wet confetti, and the demon was starting to get tired. This time it was at the border for the Vees, and if that didn’t gall him… but, Carmilla was exhausted and her girls had dragged her home for rest after her previous shift of holding back chaos across this sector of town and her own.

They felt observed. 

They could only use trusted thralls to keep watch.

Niffty was with the Cannibals and would alert the nearest overlord if something was up or they needed help. Husk was at Zeezi’s border, where Zestial was currently having tea.

Would be nice if Vox could spare time to help… the ungrateful bastard.

Charlotte was trying to find a cause. There had to be a thread. She was on her third corkboard and eighth ball of red string.

Lucifer was intrigued in a ‘that’s weird wonder what its about’ way.

When Alastor pointed out that given the overlords are high ranking, their combined power is likely to be stacking/amassing, and even now whoever has it could likely challenge a mid-tier goetia or higher. What is to stop them going further? Claiming that next, and moving up to take on the Sins? The Princess?

That makes the former angel pay more attention.

Charlotte notices the wear and tear on everyone, and offers to have the overlords and their closest thralls stay at the hotel. This is flattened, unfortunately, as the seats of power have a regenerative effect. 

Susan is beating the shit out of anyone who looks funny at cannibal town. Must mention that.

Takes a swing at lucifer before adjusting her glasses, pointedly looking down, and calling him ‘Your Shortness’ which sends Alastor into gales of laughter.

Vox teleports through the wires with Velvette and Valentino to the Hotel after he barely escapes being attacked, his network falling and no way to stay safe. His form is damaged, and powers down after landing.

There’s a tense moment where it looks like Alastor might just kill him… but it passes. 

“If he must be here with his vile little companions, I suppose placing them on the second highest floor will ensure there are layers of protection above and below. I wonder how he was spared the energy to flee…?” Suspicious. 

Angel wants Val gone, but if Al can’t kill Vox, Angel isn’t allowed either. Rooms warded by the king.

Zestial is attacked next, surprisingly in Carmilla’s headquarters where he’d been resting. It is assumed she was the next target. The weaponsmith locks down her fortress, refusing to come out. 

Lucifer reaches out to some of Paimons lower ranking goetia for assistance in keeping the peace. Soemthing is very wrong here, and Paimon agrees that shit’s fucked.

Sinners are subdued by the more powerful trained bird warrior dudes/dudettes/duderinos and kept in line. 

Charlotte tries to visit Clara and (Odette?) to check in, but they admit their mother has been taken down.

Alastor refuses to be confined, even when Charlotte asks him to stay close because he’s the last of the Sovereign Overlords left

His collar tightens at the refusal to complete her request. 

His body is slowly healing after the run in with Adam, angelic wounds are normally fatal because of the time they take to close, even with Overlord abilities, but it is more like an irritating mozzie bite than anything right now. He wishes he could spend more time relaxing, but this… forced altruism is as necessary as it is grating.

If the regular sinners get it in their heads that any overlord can be taken out, especially the sovereigns, without punishment… then things could turn ugly fast even after the others wake. 

It has been weeks. Concerning that there is no stirring from anyone. Surely they should have amassed their powers by now? Return to consciousness? Were they still under attack invisibly?

 

Alastor is tired, but needs must.

It must show though, because Vagatha drags in a sinner she had to… stop… from breaking in to get to the Vees, and offers them to him. She’d even hosed the sinner down to make sure they were a ready-made snack. He’d laughed in delight for a long moment before thanking the ex-orcist. 

There’s now a single giant corkboard filling the lounge area, it has photos and strings and pieces of parchment, newspapers and all manner of bits and bobs on it. If Charlotte were a human, she might be mistaken for a tinfoil wearing conspiracy theorist the way she glared at the board and twitched, seeking meaning in too many unconnected factors.

“My dear, you need to look after yourself or you’ll fall over.” He intones one evening, watching her muttering and tapping her lips. “I understand that your heart is bleeding for the overlords but… what good will it do anyone for the princess to make herself ill on their behalf?”

“The bellhop has a point, Char-Char… an ironic one, because he looks more like a frayed deerskin rug than usual, but a point nonetheless.” The King adds, snark lacking his normal bite. The goetia were becoming concerned now, as more power was being leeched to an unknown assailant. 

They disliked sinners in general, but the idea of one being exceptionally powerful and attacking the next rung down hell’s powerful ladder to themselves? It ruffled feathers.

“At least I don’t-... oh, do pick some portion of your outfit and extrapolate an insult from there, Sire.” Alastor waves him off, feeling a tension headache growing between his eyes as if his head was in a vice. His right eye flashed into a dial as he jumped up from the couch. “Ah, it seems someone has tripped a ward outside of Carmilla’s, and needs dispatching. One moment.”

“Wait, take someone with you. We’re all tired and-... and he’s gone.” Charlotte sighed, groaned and stamped her foot. She smacks her hand on the board. “It’s here. The answer is right here and I can’t see it no matter how I look at it.”

“To be perfectly fair, Toots, I have eight whole eyes and can hang from the ceiling with my boots off, so I’ve looked at this thing from every angle too, and it ain’t making much sense.” Angel shrugs, putting a bandage on Niffty’s small arm where some enterprising sinner had slashed her with their talons earlier before cannibettes tore them to shreds. “Why would someone go to all this trouble to take out Overlords, and then… go silent? Where’s the pizzazz, the show of force? And… actually HOW did they get close to all the overlords? Those fuckers are paranoid.”

“I-... actually, that’s true. How did they get to them? Shit, I need to start asking more questions. I know that they found Rosie by a table in the back of her emporium, there was tea on the table, and one of the cups had smashed. Not sure about Zeezi, they’re cagey about it…” 

“So it sounds like this was someone they knew and trusted, perhaps? Not many could do that. I had kinda thought maybe Smiles-... but then, this ain’t the way he operates, right? We’d know if it was him.” Angel squints at Vaggie. 

Vaggie nods, “Yeah, he wouldn’t have left them alive… not physically at least, they go into his broadcast and the screams last for days.”

Lucifer blinks, “He does what in the what now? Sinners can’t do that!”

“I assure you at least one of them can, little Sire… although, unfortunately, I suspect Vox has been attempting to replicate the ability with his little bandwidth experiments. They’re quite irritating to behold. Based on what I’ve observed in the last few months.” Alastor says, returning. His jacket is on fire, but it’s swiftly patted out by Husk as the cat observes the rather nasty burn to Alastor’s right wrist. 

“Ah, good work Husker. I hadn’t noticed. It seems that we may have to pay closer attention to the rabble, some are starting to use some innovative siege tactics… a rather emboldened fellow and his friends tried to burn down Carmilla’s tower to force those inside, out. Leaving Carmilla and Zestial vulnerable.”

“Well, didja at least ironically barbecue ‘em and have a nice little lunch?” 

“Hah, if only. They were odd little half-metal sinners. Cannot imagine they’d be pleasant to chew…” 

“Eh, well I made some of my nonna’s lasagne… sort of, she never used Chimkin in it before but it’s what we got down here. Take a tray if you’re hungry, big guy.” Angel waves him off and turns his attention back to Charlie. “But for reals, there’s… something in the fact that none of them seem all that banged up when what happens happens. Right?”

Someone raps on the front doors, and Vaggie answers it with her spear pointing forwards.

No one appears.

“How odd, do you suppose that-...” Alastor’s tone cuts off in a choked snarl as a collar appears about his throat, yanking backwards on a chain that sinks into the inky pools of a portal, appearing behind the Radio Demon. 

“I think that’s about enough out of you, my disobedient little deerling.” Croons the Queen as she steps through, snapping her elegant fingers. The portal swirls into nothingness as Alastor’s eyes go completely blank, the overlord crumpling to the floor without a second’s hesitation or resistance. The hand holding the chain wraps the length about her wrist and Lillith smiles coldly as power begins to seep up through the links.

“Mum…?” the hope in that voice as Charlie comes into the main foyer is heartbreaking.

“What are you doing?!” Charlie cries, skidding to a halt at the sight as her heart thunders before plunging into her stomach. In all her attempts to pull the threads together, this wasn’t… this couldn’t… why? 

“Oh darling, don’t you worry about the sinners, they’ll survive. The little sovereign overlords make such lovely little batteries, perfect to top you off when you need a boost. Here, sweetie, try some!” She profers the chain to Charlie, who is going quite pale, hands trembling.

Likewise, Lucifer is frozen in the doorway.

Vaggie seems torn, but ultimately brandishes her spear at the Queen. “With all due respect, your Majesty… let him go. He’s an asshole, but he’s ours.”

“Oh, that’s where you’re wrong… he’s mine. In fact, all of them are. Mine to do with as I wish… be it merely drop in for a confidential chat with a close confidant, or tear their chained souls from their bodies. You know how it is.” Lillith laughed, as if she hadn’t just said The Most Unhinged Shit Ever. 

“Your little angel is delightful Charlie, but… hmmm, I don’t think this is the best option for you. We need you to show Heaven that you are committed to playing nice, and a Fallen won’t help you there. Trust me, I know… how about I find you another one? There’s this fetching lieutenant called Lute you might like. She’s a bit rough around the edges but-...”

“...are you seriously going to return to Hell after all this time and lecture Our Daughter about who she can love while you drain the life out of her friend before her eyes?” Lucifer asked, incredulous, hurt, furious. “What happened to you? Where have you been? Why are you doing this?”

“Oh Luci, darling, it will all make sense when I have a chance to explain it… how about I sing it for you all?”

“NO.” There’s a Royal Command there, one even she can’t nullify. “Don’t you dare try to sway everyone with that little trick of yours… use your words and tell me what’s happening.”

Sighing, put upon and bothered, Lilith drops the chain and the collar disappears into the aether. “Well, since no one is going to offer me tea for this chat, shall I just stand here on ceremony and divulge my little secrets, hmmm? Honestly, you should take hospitality lessons from my lovely flower, Rosie, she always greets me with gossip and jasmine tea.”

“Is that how you tricked her into lowering her guard then?” Charlie asked, glaring at her mother. “You popped in for tea and, what…?”

“Why, I politely asked if she recalled our little deal, and took her powers. Don’t worry, she didn’t suffer, I promise… I wasn’t angry with her. Our little agreement was more around turning a blind eye to Cannibal Town’s activities as long as Rosie would help me if I needed her to. Oh, you should have seen how hard she fought me at first, it took quite the humbling defeat to force her compliance… but I am the Queen.”

“And the Vees? Carmilla? Zestial? Zeezi?”

“Yes, I have little agreements with them all. You’d be amazed what you can get out of these so-called Sovereigns when you break them down to within an inch of their existence and squeeze their weakest point. Carmilla loves her daughters, as I do you. Zestial? He adores Carmilla and her daughters. Quite a simple little net to trap them in. Zeezi’s was harder to figure out, quite a long story. The Vees? The fools made a triad of themselves which made it infinitely easier to threaten them… not to mention the ridiculous obsession that television has with your deer.”

She scowled down at the Overlord at her feet, whose blank eyes remained open, unseeing and his body barely stirred as it took shallow breaths. 

“This one took far longer, I was getting quite annoyed honestly, but… there’s a breaking point for all of them. But there’s fun in the finding, I will need to show you some of my techniques when you’re older… for torture my love, nothing salacious. Promise.” Lilith smiles. It’s slightly off, like it doesn’t fit her face. “Best way to force a deal on someone is to push them to their last moment and threaten something they care for, even if it is only themselves. Sinners are durable, never be afraid to remove parts as needed.”

She laughed. It sounded so… off, that it turned Charlotte’s stomach.

Lucifer was shaking, expression contorting between horror and anger. This was not the wife he knew… what had happened to her?

“Mum, please. Why are you taking their powers? You’re already the Queen, you hold more power than anyone besides Dad and I…”

“I did, yes. When I was still the ruling queen… but I bet your father didn’t mention that the loss of the title came with a downgrade, did he?” She scowled. “When we separated, my power diminished to a mere middling goetia level… how was I to fare on my own like that?”

“You… separated?” Charlie looked lost.

“Yes. After your mother tried to sell your life to Heaven in order to get back in their good graces, Char-Char… I never wanted you to find out.” Lucifer added, looking chagrined. “You were only a toddler but… they wanted you Bound to avoid dealing with something they didn’t know how to categorise.”

Vaggie stepped between Charlie and Lillith then. Spear raised.

“Oh don’t fret, I realised my mistake after the uprising! Sera and Michael took the time to speak with me, to share the Truth with me… and I saw the misery I had caused. Could cause by allowing you to grow up in this pit of despair… and I wanted you to be safe. They promised you would be!” 

And that’s when Lucifer sees the grains of Madness in those beautiful eyes, sown there by the song of seraphim whose cruelty knows no bounds and had no concept that their Help was such. His wings droop.

“Oh Lily, they’ve changed you at your Core… the Lillith I knew wouldn’t ever have tried to harm Charlie, or do whatever the fuck this plan is that involves leaving comatose sinners about the place.” He gestures.

“It’s okay, my love, it will all make sense soon! You see, I had a little deal with Adam to let me stay in Heaven and not bother with anymore uprising silliness… Sera was very helpful in stopping such ridiculous thoughts. She would visit so often it was like having a roommate, ha hah!” Lilith smiled, stepping over Alastor to reach for Charlie, ignoring the angelic spear at her midriff. “But when he died, they said I had to come back down to Hell… and deal with this whole redemption project of yours. Sweetie I love your heart, but Sinners are vile little things that you waste your potential on.”

Charlie jerks away, rejecting the woman before her. This was not the kind, passionate mother she recalled… the woman who brought hell from its knees to rise up against heaven. This was someone in her skin. A doll with a mind so twisted it couldnt recognise who it once was.

“You see, that was the other part of it all. I needed your hotel to fail… but I wasn’t allowed to pop back down for a visit, because it might give the Sinners the wrong idea, didn’t want to start that whole rebellion mess again. So, I sent you Alastor. He was the strongest, and the one I had tightest binds on… someone to keep you safe, even in ways you didn’t realise you needed.” Lilith says, shoving the spear to the side and backhanding Vaggie.

Angel catches her, thankfully, but Charlie flares into demonic form.

“Like this hotel for example. I made it clear he had to destroy it, to break your heart and these childish dreams of yours about redemption because it was upsetting Heaven. And what does the silly little fawn do? Ignores my orders. Uses one to counteract the other. I knew I liked the devious bastard for a reason… but, it must be said, that I had to quash that rebellious streak lest it rub off on you. That took some doing.”

“...what did you do?” 

“Oh don’t worry too much, darling, just made sure he didn’t bother my dear Adam too much in their little tiff. Although I understand that ultimately it was one of his own little chains that did the deed, so we shall have to speak about that later. Heaven was quite upset with me over that.” Lilith explained. She claps her hands, “So you see, in order to prove to Heaven that I can fix these little errors, I needed to regain my status amongst the people. I needed my full power back to sing to them, to inspire them to heed the rules of the realms and not question things anymore. After all, that is why I have the Sovereigns under my control… their millions of chains can be siphoned to myself for the good of Hell. Is that not fair?”

“Okay, am I still high or is she soundin’ absolutely batshit insane?” Angel asks, four arms held up in a general wtf expression [explain better].

“No, you’re right Legs, that explanation makes it sound like Heaven got into her head and fucked with something. Your Majesty or whatever you are now, how does draining the head honchos and throwing the sinners and all of Pride into chaos help you, or heaven? Cause your plan might work, but from what we all know, your songs don’t work well on those who are closed to them.” 

“Silence, pet. The machinations of Heaven are not for mere sinners to understand.”

The intonation was very much Michael at the core, and Lucifer shrank back, skin crawling. Yes, she’d been bamboozled over time. His strong, proud wife with Heaven in one ear distorting who she was… if he could undo it, somehow, she’d be horrified by her actions.

“Let us help you, Lily.”

“No need, my love, I just need to collect The Signal and mesh it with The Network to boost my song. Then all of Hell can be reunited under Heaven, doesn’t that sound wonderful? Why, Michael promised you can even come to meetings there, see your siblings, isn’t that lovely? Charlie can meet her aunts and uncles!”

Lucifer went very, very pale.

“Lillith… can you hear yourself? They wanted to kill her before she was even born, and then every waking moment after. If you were in your right mind, you would never think such as thing was wonderful… you’d be telling Michael to ram a cactus up his backside, like last time he suggested we get rid of Charlie and get a hellhound. He turned so purple I thought he was going to discorporate…” Lucifer huffs a laugh, tears in the corner of his eyes. He steps closer to the Queen, hands out for her own.

She tilts her head and pulls away. 

“No, stay there… I know you will seek to silence me. They said you would.”

Her aura was so off-putting now, whatever semblance of sanity slipped away the more power she supped upon. Helping whatever grains of holy falsehood grew in her mind to blossom with each moment. She would singlehandedly provide them Hell if her plan worked… and if it went wrong, she would be justification to raise the place. 

Lilith had no idea, couldn’t, not like this.

“Charlie, darling, I will be back to see you I promise…” Lilith smiles sadly, backing up as a portal opens behind her, watching as Lucifer launches towards her. Trying to snag her. Etc. 

“Shit!” he snarls as she disappears to who knows where. “We have to gather the Overlords here, or in the palace, somewhere I can ward against her. That plan is… it’s insane, Charlie, I love your mother but-...”

“But that’s not her. Somethings wrong with her.” Charlie breathes, starting to sob. 

“And the only way to stop it is to keep her from fully charging up on whatever the fuck the deer and the tv have going on… she didn’t fully get Box, and you stopped her getting the bellhop. If we can snap them all out of this, they should be able to call their power back from your mother. Anyone should be able to capture her then.” Lucifer explains.

Husk’s tail flicks as he prods at Alastor, whose eyes remain blank, unresponsive to stimuli. 

“I dunno what she did to ‘em though. He’s like the others, almost… empty. But not. Cause she didn’t get it all. This doesn’t make sense, ‘cause when an Overlord pulls on you or your essence or whatever you wanna call it for a boost if they’re like dying or something, it just makes you tired. This is… something else.”

Scrubbing at his eyes with a shirtsleeve, Lucifer sniffs and pulls back his shoulders. “Okay, let me try something.” he moves over to crouch by Alastor, at first testing the Sinner’s pulse at his throat before sending a small pulse of golden energy through the Overlord. Alastor, for his part, twitches minutely and there’s a flash of Something in his eyes before they close.

“Okay, so I think I can jumpstart them with a little thrill of my power, or yours, Char-Char. We should get on that after we have them all brought here to safeguard. And-... oh this fucking idiot.” The feedback pulses back up Lucifer’s arm making his nerves sting. With a slight push, the overlord lays on his back, and its apparent that blood is leaking through his shirt. “Well, she did say she punished him with Adam somehow… I’m guessing he got in a good hit with that stupid little axe of his and it’s healing super slowly. Hmmm, you’d need to close it again, or it’ll take longer to get them up again.”

“I can get Smiles to his room, if you need it. I got the height and the arms for it… and Im a decent nurse, too… even got a hot little outfit for it.” Attempt at levity etc.

A groaning audience sound is faintly heard.

-

Muttered convo with alastor (Angel)

“How dare you, people pay good money to see that shit and I’m doing it outta the goodness of my heart, Smiles.” 

There’s a scattered sound of reluctant clapping, like an audience pressed into applauding for something mediocre.

“That’s better. Now, don’t bite me if I pick you up wrong, there’s like a lot of you… and to be fair, it could be worse… short king could be doing it.” the lack of response made him think alastor was on board.

“Cool… also, is that like… do you have a tail? Or are you hiding a ferret in you back pocket? Either way, don’t kill me. I just have my hands there to keep you stable.” 

Theme from Jaws plays.

Angel laughs so hard he stumbles.

“Ya secret’s safe with me, Smiles.”

--------------------

>retrieve other overlords

>boost to waken

>Find out how she Got all the overlords. They were friends once, some she sang to to lower their guard, others she built on past connections and made little deals that escalated. Others she tortured until they complied.

All based on Heaven’s changes to her mind.

>Adam arrives in hell as a demon and has to deal with the hatred

He realises he fucked up when Lillith now finds him and treats him as Lesser

Has to help catch her

>Finally subdued and overlords can start to pull their power back. If she was still at the ability level of a queen there’d be no chance, but right now? She was running on a mishmash of stolen power that wasn’t submitting to her whims. Easy to recall by their owners now she couldn’t just shut down their minds (Lucifer and charlie can block this). They can’t break the deals, but can hold her off.

>Lucifer purges her mind with charlie’s help, removing heaven’s tainted ideals

She’s mortified when she wakes, and needs time in other realms eg with Belphagor in Sloth re for medical care

>Returns and reconnects with the overlords she hurt, her friends. Breaks the deals. She does backhand Val into a wall for his actions with Charlie and his business, it was never so vile before

He pulls back, realising that she wasn’t going to let it lie and releases a few thralls, rewrites the contracts with her Majesty present.etc 

----------

Backstory time - Lilith was a caring queen and she made a point to get to know the Sovereigns, build friendships. They cared for each other, in a way the goetia scoffed at at the time… because why would the queen consort with sinners?

She learned things about them they trusted few others with, because she genuinely wanted to know about them, their lives, they were all to some level, her children. The pain they had suffered, the joys, and their crimes were things she sought to know. Lillith provided solace to them in their darker moments. And as with any close friends in hell, a favour was shared for a favour here and there, a little agreement that left them with a bracelet, a ring, something small and trite. Common amongst overlords who interacted, to maintain dynamics without overextending. But something about her started to change, Zestial noticed it more than most having had the longest association… but, it was too late. He could recall the birth of Charlotte and the joys of her, the fears her Majesty carried about the heavens. She asked her Sovereigns to lend her their strength if ever she needed it to protect Charlotte. And in this limited specifically worded deal, none ever shied away, not when their Queen asked with naked need in her eyes, hands out. But… Heaven was in her head already, after the failed uprising. Something shifted, she began to press, to change the words, to ask for them to put their souls in her hands, and met resistance.

When you can inflict violence on someone until they cannot take it any longer, when you can use their own memories and fears against them… when you take trust and stab it in their spine, twisting it violently to create agonies that flesh couldn’t manage. 

When you could return them whole, unharmed, with the ringing of pain in their nerves and minds screaming, with the threat of doing it again and again and again on your lips.

Lilith eventually, methodically, broke down each of her little Sovereigns. Some easier than others. Friends, once, who put up walls between them and other Sovereigns for fear of being found out as one who had been collared. Only making her job far, far easier in the end.

Carmilla found her way back to Zestial however, the Vees doubled-down somehow, but never spoke on the situation. Worried that they might become a weakness in their connection, that would lead to ruin out ousting from the triad. Rosie and Alastor were staunch friends, even when she told their skin to burn when in contact with one another, the pair laughed it off as an odd hellish allergy. 

But Vox and Alastor were broken apart. Just as she needed. Oh she needed them together eventually, for The Plan, but right now if they collaborated against her and found out they both were chained… they might work out how to blot out her voice, her influence.

She’d liked to sing for her Overlords, once. And they were so used to it that when she encoded responses in their brains, triggers for her alone, they never noticed. Applauding all the same. 

That trust was gone, and the hatred and suspicion in their eyes when Lillith was once more herself made the queen revile her  flesh. Tearing at it with a roiling pit in her stomach. Sobbing and begging for their forgiveness.

Rosie and Alastor cannot stand it, and eventually fight down their suspicion around being trapped again to offer her solace… or at least non-angry words and a handkerchief. 

Reluctant to touch.

>Overlords rain hell upon anyone who dared to have tried to kill them. Rewarding the thralls who fought for them with their preferred items. Maybe husk gets freed? 

Funny scene where it’s like “Al, would you… free Niffty too?” Charlie asks, looking hopeful.

Alastor sighs, “My deer, I promise you it will not go as you assume… trust me, I’ve tried.” 

The chain snaps off Niffty and she screams, grabbing it up and putting it back as it disintegrates. She bursts into tears, grabs a weapon and launches at Alastor. 

She sadly stabs him in the shoulder a few times as her heart breaks. “Put it back! PUT IT BACK! I Like to be WANTED!” she sobs.

“OhmygoshNifftyNooooooooooooooooo….” Charlie gasps, hyperventilating.

“Niffty my dear, would you take a deep breath for me? I can’t take your soul if you’re sobbing. You are wanted and will always have a place with Rosie or myself, as you like.” Alastor soothes, petting the woman on the back. 

Sniffling, Niffty shoves back and wipes her eye. “Promise? You let me stay and you look after my soul?” 

“It’s a deal then.” He agrees, and the lights flash as she grabs one of his ears in an odd pseudo shake. It makes them both laugh as her collar pops back into existence.

Charlie seems very confused. Husk puts a wing about the princess, “It’s uh, a long story, but this is what she wants. C’mon, I’ll explain it to you but I ain't doing it sober…” 

>Something something goetia and lucifer friendship

>Heaven pissed their plan went wrong. Try to even score.

Run into blockade.

>Lillith earns love and light from daughter and Lucifer back. Works hard for it.

>Micheal and Sera face no backlash, but try to send censure upon Lucifer for the whole thing. He laughs and tears it up, feeding it to Razzle.

>Sir PEntious revealed to be alive! 

>Adam is at the Hotel, he is actually made the Busboy, and he’s Big Mad about it.

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

Funny Headcanon that hasn't really got story attached just yet

------

The Overlords, the Sovereigns... get accidentally turned into children. All of them.

Not sure if it was a magical backlash issue at the next meeting, or someone sends something to their headquarters, or perhaps its a carefully crafted spell that uses their blood and hair and real names, or heck, maybe Lucifer was mad they rrefused to recognise him with deference and turned them into children

Long story short, there's now a room full to the brim with tiny overlords. Who have never been children in their sinner forms, as they died at varying adult ages. So there's some changes...

eg fawn spots on certain people

a smaller screen for vox like he is now an ipad style tablet with one of those oversized kid-friendly protective cases

fuck how funny would it be if Velvette straight up went from Bratz to one of those mildly creepy articulated plastic baby dolls (they look like 3-5yrs

Valentino? a very cranky caterpillar

Zeezi? She's still a dino, but she's smaller and cuter

Zestial is probs the most thrown because not only is he the oldest overlord, he seems like the oldest of them all in general re age of death, can he even remember how to Child? I get the impression he's a spiderish batish type from that one flash scene we got, so maybe he ends up fuzzier and vcuter

Carmilla could be a shorter version of herself, but I wonder which of her daughters she would look like more? You know at least one kid shares your looks, esp when they're little. She finds her shoes are now flats, tap shoe style, that she can click the heel of to summon a stiletto.

Rosie was a smaller version of herself, hair in careful ringlets as was the style in her day. Otherwise she seems in typical form.

This could be so goddamn chaotic and funny, especially if they retained their powers... but their memory slowly fades into being actual children. Maybe not all their human memories, though.

For one, those memories belonged to a Self and body they aren't in right now. And two, some of the memories are far gone, faded, or deliberately repressed so... having them come back up would cause extreme distress. The memories, or the abscence of them.

Charlie assumes that this is THE BEST THING EVER because her perception is that now they can work on the sinner's trauma and needs for redemption!

Vaggie is kind of trying to halt that because, for one, they're overlords with the minds of overlords 90% of the time. And they aren't interested. She's also more focused on how they're going to keep them alive.

Does she like them? Not really, Carmilla's alright and she might have missed Al post battle, but the others are regular problems for them. But, would she stand by and let a child get hurt or killed or... well, they were in Hell, there were people down here who would love to get their hands on a tiny overlord, because the hellborn were warded against that sort of thing. She was getting a headache over the logistics of keeping them breathing... or whatever vox did.

Angel is... really conflicted. On the one hand, he could easily kill Val now and like, save everyone... but on the other three, that's a kid. There are increasing moments wherein Val keeps slipping into a childish state and it's... kinda terrifying, especially when the caterpillar flinches automatically at any raised hand.

But they were all fucked up down here... but Angel would never hurt a kid. Even Cherri was on the fence about it in their chat, but... well, she isn't going to take out an anklebiter even if they are a massive cunt normally.

Husker was glad to have dodged that whole mess, because he's sure kitten him would have been photographed to Wrath and back by now, and he'd never afterlive it down... but this does leave a real issue. Overlords are tough as shit, the Sovereigns moreso, but their bodies and minds grew to accommodate that power over time annd combat. Right now, these kids are like barrels of gunpowder with lit fuses, and no one knew when it would go off.

His keen eyes already noticed a few instances of accidental magicks going off, and unconscous chaos. Niffty was quick to put out fires or whatever, but this could only get worse the longer it went on.

Niffty mostly wanted to dress and feed and care for them, but in that manic way your childless aunt does when she's three days deep into no sleep and energy drinks. Nice intention, limited knowledge on how to go about it.

Lucifer (depending on if he did it or not) is mostly confused/amused. Children in hell, sinner children, are rare. Normally they pinged a set ward at the palace and he or Lilly would assess what the fuck happened for a kid to end up down here.

Cannibal Town had kids, of course, there was the Donner Party... and that whole time period of Great Famine for most civillisations. Bodies were meat... Lucifer can't say he's a real fan of cannibalism, but when your child was starving and looking at you in desperation, he knew why the parents had made those decisions. He still felt it shouldn't have damned the children... whose choice to eat it was obscured by parental need to keep them alive, but... Heaven were sticklers for 'rules'.

Other kids got assessed and usually placed under the direct care of one of the sinner-management divisions of goetia, or even an overlord, or family members who were identified as safe. It was rare, and mostly the kids were the purveyers of accidental sin (like stabbing the guy trying to do wicked things to you, still counted as murder apparently fucking Heaven and their uptight rules). But a few were genuinely evil.

Lucifer would like to clarify for the record that unbaptised babies were NOT, no matter what the feathered fuckers said, sinners. He'd never had a baby drop down for that... he did have one or two come with the cannibal party though, some technical nonsense about obtaining human flesh through breastmilk. He'd put paimon's most infuriatingly technical litigators on that one, because are you pulling his wing? How can you call that a sin???

This whole thing was giving Lucifer a headache. Finding any child in his realm was distressing to start with... and it brought up his fights with Heaven over them. On the other hand, he now had a half dozen all powerful children who seemed to be losing themselves to their new bodies, which was another very big, terrifying problem.

He could almost taste the moments that the real overlords fought to reassert themselves in the new bodies, and when they faded out in favour of someone the right age and mentality, with a hint of past personality and experience to flavour them.

Oooh, Husk having to use his polyglot skills to communicate with the kids when they forgot English/the common hell dialect.

Then the childhood maladies or incompatibilities of their forms start up.

Val's spit makes him sick because he's too young to manage it, leading to gastrointestinal distress. The food he needs is plant-based, but the hellplants he's craving poison him. They try to offset the instinct in his brain with vegetables and carefully disguised meals.

He's also compelled to make himself a coocoon. But given no one knows what would happen if he completed it, he has to be stopped several times because... that could make this so much worse.

Alastor and Vox periodically have a major discharge of electricity or static that seems to hurt the pair, as well as damage nearby equipment. Their biomechanical components constantly at war with one another.

Vox's screen is touch sensitive, and he can lose his face if the wrong breeze brushes past the [X] on his main program. His body sometimes fritzes, an arm or leg not responding, an exe error crashing on his 'lungs' / vents, and he can't breathe. They find out he had asthma as a child later on...

Rosie can't bite through things as harshly as before, her claws are less lethal, leading to miscalculations. Its simply a matter of course that either cannibal children hunt in a pack, or an adult goes with them when seeking sinner. Let's be real, there's usually two to three adults just 'in the areas' and definitely not tailing the children, when they leave the colony... it's so ingrained, she forgot. The bloodlust though, is as sporadic for her (and to a lesser extent alastor) that its impossible to predict. Vaggie has had to make up a combat dummy with meat inside as a means of keeping everyone safe in these moments.

Zeezi occasionally has moments of blank expression where you can tell her younger dino brain is checking you out as prey. She's not great at spacial awareness right now either. Too small and too big all in one. She has moments of territorial chaos that involve usually Charlie or Vaggie fighting her off until the thinking part of her brain reasserts.

Carmilla seems the easiest, quiet, watching, vigilant. But she reacts violently at the slightest provocation. (We still have no real detail on What she is modelled on, so it's a little hard to ascertain if she'd have instincts or soemthing that impact little her - I thought, given her claws and violent parenting strategy to all threats, polar bear maybe? Owl?).

Zestial seems most vexed by it all, and alternates between formal speech and chasing flies over the walls and furniture. He gets exhausted quickly, now, from a time when one in ten siblings might live past 5 if they were lucky and there was still little to feed them.

Velvette is frustrated, her new body doesn't have the mobility of her previous one. her fingers and toes are almost fused, unless she puts i na lot of effort. She feels trapped in her body, and it sends her into a spiral of panic regularly. Her limbs still pop in and out, which is a whole other issue.

Alastor has to contend with heightened deer nonsense. The fawn instinct is pretty strong at this point, and he has to choose not to hide and stay quiet until a safe adult comes to get him. Not to mention, he was going to make Angel Dust eat that flashlight when he got more control over himself, being flashed in the eyes to see if it 'really worked' was science the first time, but excessive the following fourteen attempts so far.

They're all frustrated, and too small to contain the power inside. Some of their chains come to investigate the silence from all the Sovereigns... and some take their chances to kill.

Some are killed or thwarted by the small overlords themsselves, but it always seems like a fluke, because the reactive power never acts in proportion to the threat. Bodies filleted when a stab would do, sinners incinerated by a wide-eyed overlord who didn't mean to use that much power, flesh peeled off a screaming would-be sovereign as the would-be victim seems to zone out to Envy and back.

Charlie is not so enthusiastic anymore... especially not when the anecdotes the overlords drop, and their reactions when they fell into 'childishness' started to get... soul crushing. She thought... well, she knew some people preyed on children, or treated them badly or neglected them... but all of the sovereigns?

Not everyone in hell could have tragic backstories, right? They made decisions as adults, and that's how they got here.

Angel and Husk have a 'come to satan' talk with Charlie about the realities of Earth, and that sometimes just being ignored or belittled could be as bad as beating a kid, when it came to setting their feet on a dark path. Backstory time for Husk and Angel.

The moments of child-like reactions and words and responses are increasing. Lucifer and Charlie can sense the Self of each overlord is being subsumbed and mildly rewritten...

What can they do?

What will Heaven do if they find out?

All the networks are down, internet and radio and tv.

What if Vox feels pressured to try and fix it? And really fucks himself up so bad Lucifer has to ward the kid out of his own network and radio waves to ensure he's safe?

What if Valentino already understands what is 'expected' of him, and only Angel can stop him? Having the most fucked up 'don't do it' coversation of his life?

What if Carmilla is so hypervigilant, that Vaggie has to sit beside her bed all night awake to ensure she sleeps? What if her reflexes are the only way to avoid being stabbed when he little warrior wakes from a nightmare she'll never speak about?

What if Lucifer initially is an ass to Al, before he realises that he's basically tormenting a kid, and has to go Think About His Actions? What if He also has to block Al from the radio waves to stop them waking everyone anytime the kid has a nightmare or is startled awake?

Warding Vox and Al from something so ever present as the radiowaves, that they've had like one does oxygen for the last 70-100+ years, causes some Adverse Panic Reactions. And that was fun to deal with!

What if Velvette has to rely on Niffty and the kindness of Charlie to get things done, and it's causing her great distress because she's never been able to rely on anyone like this before? What will they ask for in return?

What if? What if? What if?

-------------

How does it resolve? Who knows! I don't know how it happened in the first place! Chaotic though!

Need to know more about the other overlords, their characteristics and backstories, if at all possible. It would really flavour a story like this.

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

Headcanon - Backstory AU

Contains mentions of chaotic cannibal nonsense and child harm

--------------

Against all odds, Alastor is good with small children.

Rosie has brought one of her nieces to the hotel with her, and is passing her around. She’s Aunty Rosie to all her citizens, so when one of the hellborns inevitably ends up with an infant, she always gets a chance to love on the little thing. She has eviscerated people for looking at her niblings wrong before.

Vaggie and Charlie are delighted at the little thing, even though it has a Lot and I mean a Lot of teeth. This little darling was a surprise for the cannibal couple that had her, but Lucifer drops in the idea that perhaps it was all the angelic meat they’d consumed. Angel blood, even low tier like the exorcists, did carry the spark of Life and Creation… much the same as Sinners were made of Death and Destruction. 

“Would explain the poor dear’s terrible morning sickness. And afternoon sickness.” Rosie muses.

The King is concerned, Sinners should not be popping out children like that. It could put those little things in danger… knowing what vile creatures some of his citizens were. Didn’t stop him from cooing over something small and sweet and demonic, like his little Charlie once was and, let’s be real, he still saw her as. What a squishy little thing!

He used his feathers to tickle her, not bothered in the least when the baby yanked a few out. He jokes to Charlie that she nearly took a wing right off when she got her strength in!

Vaggie seems hesitant, likely the exorcists didn't spend much time around the children in heaven. She holds the infant like a bomb about to go off. Charlie isn’t much better.

“Hmm, we can try that again in a moment, dears, I will need to feed her now.” Rosie interjects, and pauses, “Actually Al, could you do it? My wrist is still scabbed over from this morning’s feed… but her parents need a break, so who am I to complain?” she laughs. 

Vaggie stiffens as the baby goes to Al. 

“Oh relax Vagatha, little Mira here will be just fine.” He hums, shoving up a sleeve and using a claw to create a rather alarming cut. Charlie goes green.

“Okay, hold on, you can’t give a baby blo-...” she launches forwards as the infant latches her sharp little teeth onto Alastor’s wrist, thoroughly supported by the Overlord’s other arm, even the head postured correctly. Lucifer himself, though sceptical, puts a stop to that action with a hand on Charlie’s arm.

“Honey, the little ball of violent joy is a cannibal… even if we could find infant formula in this Ring, it wouldn’t do much good. At least this way anyone in the town can feed her. Still… I get it’s freaky to watch.” 

Angel chose that moment to walk in, and freeze. “Okay, is this a congratulations thing or one’a those situations where we’re hand-rearing our dinner, cause I have no idea what is happening here?”

Two Overlords glared at Angel, and he cowered back. 

“Okay, okay, congrats on the weird vampire baby that… actually, rewind, where did we get a baby in this place? Thought no one could y’know, Make Life in this Pit.” 

“Well, his Lowness has an idea that this and several other concerning developments around Cannibal town, are likely due to the angelic meat from the extermination. Other than that, we’re rather as surprised as you are… but do come over and meet little Miranda-Claire at your leisure.”

“That’s a weird-ass name, but she’s sorta cute.” Angel responds, getting closer. He hasn’t been in the room with a baby since he was alive, there was always one at a family gathering, it was a big Familia.

 

“I’m given to understand that is the compromise reached with the parents, when they were initially adamant about calling her ‘Miracle’. Although,” Alastor paused, thinking it over, “I do believe they got one over on you Rosie. Mira-Claire is close enough, wouldn’t you say?”

“Oh those foolish cannibals of mine…” sighed Rosie, recognising the play. “I just thought being called Miracle in a place like this wouldn’t be too great at keeping her safe, but… well, my darlings have their own minds at the end of the day, and they make their choices.”

“Wait, back up, did you say there are others expecting in your town?” Lucifer clarifies, his fingers tapping out a panicked message to Belphegor in the group text, seeking medical opinions on this whole shitshow. Ozzie was sending a number of emojis back that implied the sin was intrigued about how the cannibals had made the children, but not… in the way Lucifer was academically curious.

“Indeed, quite a few! Several are rather confused about it, as they have no idea how it happened, like dear Stabitha who only courts other cannibettes, and dear young Goreson, whose wife is understandably confused.” Rosie pauses, her whole body suddenly trembling with malicious glee as she turns to Alastor. His ears twitch in horrified anticipation as her grin went nearly as wide as his own. “And you’d never believe it but… guess who’s expecting?!”

“...NO!”

“YES! And she’s insufferably smug about it too!”

“Ah, perhaps dear Charlotte has been let off the hook, because whatever Susan is carrying MUST be the antichrist… there’s no other explanation.” 

“Exactly!” Rosie dissolves into cackles, and Alastor joins in. 

“BUT SHE’S ANCIENT?!” Charlie shouts, eyes wide and unfocused as she tried to picture an expecting Susan. She can’t bring herself to think the word ‘pregnant’ in the same general vicinity of the woman… even if Susan had been the lynchpin for the whole Extermination support situation. 

“Age is such an oddly fickle thing here, Charlotte, you know that. Why, anyone would assume you were in your twenties to look at you, but chronologically… I expect that you are older than everyone here, save the little majesty over there.”

“Oh yeah. Fair!”

Mira begins to fuss and pulls away to make a frustrated gurgling sound. 

Rosie expertly takes her and flips her about to pat firmly on her small back until the little creature burped. Niffty appearing with a bundle of clothing to change the child into and bouncing up and down in frantic excitement. 

“Can I make her clean? Can I? Can I? Can I?”

“Well, darling, if you do it over here where we can help you if you need it. I understand you haven’t spent much time with little ones…” 

“And freaky-face has? Hah!” Angel laughs, flippantly as he follows Niffty to the conjured blanket on the floor to clean up the child. “Betcha the last time you saw an infant it was sauteed or some shit.”

Vaggie can’t help but laugh, trying to turn it into a cough at the last moment.

Charlie looks aghast at the statement, but with a hint of suspicion there just long enough that Rosie’s expression fell. First hurt, then a snarl.

“Because all cannibals like to eat infants, is that right my poorly mannered fellow?” 

“Oh, er… well, I mean…”

“He didn’t mean it like that, Sovereign Rosie.” Vaggie added, not looking Rosie in the eyes. “It’s just that Alastor does freaky shit all the time, and he teases us, so…”

“Yeah, it ain’t that serious! Just joking, like the time I offered to suck his d-...” Angel interjects, and is cut off by the baby beginning to wail. “Oh, yeah, kid-friendly language. When I offered to-...”

“Enough.” Her voice was everywhere as the room went dark, and people’s bodies locked up. Without looking, Rosie felt her friend shift away into shadows, she could taste the hurt in the tang of his blood. Her powers holding everyone not of royal descent in a momentary pause. She sighs, upset at this breach of etiquette, and released them. “Do forgive me that slip of decorum, my dears, but perhaps watch your tongues before I find a reason to use them for seasoning. Hmmm?” 

“Okay, okay promise not to make baby rib jokes at Smiles or the other cannibals. Got it.” Angel placates. He’s already handled one pissed off overlord today, didn’t want to make it three. “Say, where’s he gone?”

“Ran off like a startled deer, I bet.” Lucifer preens, and feels the hair on the back of his neck rise as Overlord Rosie levels her eyeless gaze at him. She couldn’t hurt him… right? Asking for a friend.

Husk rolls his eyes. “Wouldn’t go poking that bear, if I were you, your Majesty. Boss is a nightmare made flesh when he wants to be and all but he’s weirdly good with kids… specially small ones like her. Happens when you’re the oldest, I guess, you get used to it. I sure had to… not like you can return the little buggers when they’re out.”

Rosie burst into laughter. “Not with that attitude, you can’t!”

“Oh, er, and would any of those hypothetical evil not-deer siblings be down here…?” Lucifer’s thousand yard stare spoke of his internal horror at the idea of multiple Alastors running amuck in his domain. One was enough, thanks. 

“Nah, well, not sure. They make a big fuss on earth about how unbaptised babies are sinners and would go to hell and all. Is that bit true or just some fucked up shit someone decided to put into doctrine?” Husk asks, accidentally allowing his gaze to soften as it fell on Angel trying to placate the sobbing Mira with four hands full of dancing toys. Niffty was wriggling a new set of clothes on the child as he did so.

“They said WHAT?!” Lucifer shouted, hellfire bursting from his tongue in disgust. “What possible crime could an infant even commit?”

“Something about being born evil from the original sin or whatever, but you know, the crazies who follow that line of thinking often also believe that the menstrual cycle was some sort of Heavenly judgement and not just… biology. Church near my town back on earth used to dance with snakes and claim to be the enactors of the lord’s will; liked to wear bleached hoods at night if you get me. And you just know that people like them wrote the literal book they all believe in… so I didn’t put much stock in it.” Husk shrugs, then takes a stern look at Lucifer, before starting to make the man a stiff drink.

“...where would I even PUT that many children?” Lucifer murmurs, as Charlie walks him to the bar, patting his back. 

“Where indeed, little king?” Alastor rematerialised, any trace of the earlier feeding removed and his clothing immaculate once more. He leans against the bar, watching Angel now dual-wielding one sobbing infant and the equally-distraught Niffty, who wasn’t sure why the baby disliked her attempts to keep her tidy. 

Rosie moved to intervene, smoothly. “Here, here, little miss… such a fuss for no reason!” she chides, picking up Niffty and holding her tightly, stroking soft red locks.

Angel brings the baby to the bar, looking uncertain. “I used to be okay with babies, not sure what part of me is setting her off. Is it the fur?”

Alastor tilts his head and a tendril delivers a firm strike to the baby’s back. Another little bubbled burp escapes, and the distress ceases instantly.

“I suspect that all the movement simply unsettled her recent feed, and she needed further burping. Nothing against your personal ability to manage an infant. For someone allegedly full of himself, you certainly can be quite self-conscious can’t you, Angel?” 

“Thank fuc-...dge! Heh, she’s kinda cute when she’s all happy an’ shi-...zz.” Angel dodges the swear words as best he can, after decades of casual use. He bounces Mira delightedly, and she clacks her sharp teeth at him in delight. “Okay, that’s a bit freaky but like… she’s full, right? Cause I think it’d be a bad idea for her to get a taste of me, with all the weird stuff Val was pumping into the air today at the studio.”

“Oh she’s fine, darling, don’t worry. You’ll know if she’s hungry again, but I think between Al and I we can get her unlatch her jaw before anything too vital is lost.”

“Could I hold her again?” Charlie asks, looking wistfully at the little creature. Behind her, Vaggie’s fingers twitch, eager to have another chance as well.

“I don’t see why not, Charlie dear, but I will need to get back to my silly people within the next hour or so. They can start doing the strangest things when I’m away too long… and with Susan so unexpectedly... blessed, I doubt she is paying close attention to any antics happening in my absence.” 

“On the bright side, the lack of screams of the eviscerated do indicate no one has gone on a feeding frenzy yet!” Alastor laughed back. “Though there is still time, if some enterprising young hunter wanted to try their hand at testing the boundaries…”

Lucifer looked between the overlords sandwiching him at the counter, and then over to Charlie, Vaggie and Mira. He frowns, a faint nostalgic smile on his face, recalling Lillith with baby Charlie.

“Were there any other side effects you’ve noticed from the… post-extermination feast? Aside from the apparently miraculous string of pregnancies? There weren’t say, 66 of them, were there?” He half-jokes, panicking internally.

“Why, just a general heightened cheerfulness amongst the populace. And rest assured the number is well below twenty in total, I promise. Unless you need it to be more… I have some of the meat and products left in the deep freezers we can haul out. Anything for King and country, eh, Alastor?”

“...well, it wouldn’t do to allow Susan to hog the spotlight, would it?” He grinned back at Rosie. “Thy will be done and all, little majesty.” 

“What-... no-... please whatever you do, no more angel meat until I’ve asked Belphegor about it. We don’t want to do anything that might set off a seal.” The desperation in his tone was aimed more at the idea of having to compete for Charlie’s attention with two theoretically pregnant overlords at once, and knowing he’d never win that little contest. Not now Charlie knew how adorable babies were. 

The overlords threw back their heads and laughed, dissipating the tension as Lucifer realised neither had been serious. Damn, he needed to get better at reading people… all that time cooped up in the palace had atrophied his bullshit detecting skills.

Husk reached across the bartop to stroke the child’s cheek, tail swishing in excitement as she grabbed his claw. “Okay, that’s pretty cute, kid. You think maybe her parents would mind us spending more time with her as she grows? Nowhere safer than here, if you think about it.” 

“Why husker, are you volunteering to babysit? I could add it to your roster, if that’s what you prefer.” 

“Ah, can it Al, you want the little miss here as much as I do. Could be fun to have a bunch of little cannibals and cannibettes bobbing about the place, might be the only time it ever happens down here.”

“...how bold of you, Husker. Though, true, it could be fun… as long as dear Rosie agrees?” 

“Boys, I promise that these poor sinners of mine will be bursting through your wall at all hours to drop off the children for a moment’s peace very soon. As delighted as they are this has been quite the surprise, and rather distressing for more than a few people.”

“Splendid!” Alastor claps his hands, leaning over Lucifer toward Rosie as if to share a secret, and not simply to piss off the King trapped between respective chests. “Now I hear that you-...”

The side wall blasts inwards explosively, electricity sparking in all directions. 

For one horrifying split second, everyone is hurled across the room and baby Mira seems flies free of Charlotte’s hands as the Princess is dazed by a chunk of foundational concrete. 

Vaggie reaches out to grab the child, but it is Alastor's shade who moves fastest, snatching the child out of harm’s way before anyone can blink. 

With a spine-chilling cervine shriek, the area floods with shadow as a very ticked-off Overlord expands to fit the confines of the room, looming over the no-longer-triumphant looking Vox he is pinned to the floor with a massive hand. A ludicrously small looking infant cradled carefully in the other.

“H33y you fuckee33r, fi111ght fair!” Vox growls, screen fritzing around the cracked screen. Building a charge to blast the other through the pinning appendage. “T111me3 to pay fff-4444our that little stunt with mmmm-my show!”

“V̶̪̠̩́̌͌̊͂̕O̶̢̯̯̹̮̮̰̟̠̭̦̔̋͊͑͋̆̋͒̅͘Ẍ̵̲̲̹̜͕̫̫͖̠͍́̇̒́̿́̎̅̌̊”

“Oh fuckkkkk o0000ff with thaaatttt…”

Charlie, stunned but regaining her sense of stability, is helped upright by Vaggie. 

Her father hovers frantically about her, and notices the smear of blood down her temple, the dazed look in her eyes, and he sees red.

 

“☠ S̶̠̣̲͂I̷̜͝N̸̳̰̰̱̾̋N̸͉̽̈́Ẻ̵̖̯̊R̸͇̪̈́̊̅͝,̴͓͍̲̦͍́̆ ̶̹̮̘̲̤̅̉̔Y̶͈͑͆́̊̚o̸̭̽̀u̸͉̯͕̯̘͊̈́̂̓͊ ̷̫̫̳͗͆̇ͅD̸͈̲͒̂̍́͘͜À̸̡̡̜͚̪R̴̺̻̈́͛ͅË̶̡̦̯̼͎́̆͂͊D̸̛̠̱̖̻̘̏͑͋̐ ̶͉̗́t̶͉̲͍̠̄̈̊͝ȯ̷͖̎�� ̵̘̞̫̤̏͋̔a̴̼̩̋t̴̨̼̻͖̑̐̀t̷̝͈̩̝̀̋͊ͅa̸̯̳̋̔͜ͅc̸̹̖̔̍̂k̶̟̓ ̷̺͆̑̎͝a̸͔̩̪̐ ̷̟͍͈͍́p̵̟̖̘̄̓̅͘l̴̨̨̛͕̰̆͌͐͜ã̴̻͇̲̱̺c̴̬͚͉͓̉͋̀̄̊ȩ̷̹́ ̸͔̒̈́ü̷̳̻̤͆̑ṇ̷͍͔͈̈́͝d̶͖͕̮́ẻ̸̖͓̥̠r̷̢͇̰̩̈́͐̈́́͜ ̴̨̩͈̟͈̽t̴̢̨̫̀͌͘ͅẖ̶̰͙̙̗͊͌ē̴̦̪̼̘͒̉̃̕ ̵̹̗̣̠͇̀̿͑͝r̶̛̲̝̒̒̕u̴̯̤̒̓̍̇l̸̻͓̓̐̕͝ȅ̵̝̌ͅ ̸͇̭̗̞͎̇ō̵̧̟͍̻̉͝f̷͓͎̍̽͊̈ ̸̟͙̮̋̈m̷̘̑̅͐͗̕y̶̠͚̙̾̓́ ̸̨̼̖͖͙̾̈́ḍ̷̛̠͐̈́å̸̭̱̠͔̮͗͠͝ǘ̸̙̤́͝g̴̢̘̗̝̐h̶̗͎̗͋́̋͂́t̶͖̝͍��́e̶̦̟̫̱̿́͐̎r̴̯͕̟͂̆̄?̴͎͊̃̀͆͜ ̷̬̪͚͖̽̎U̶̬̒̃̎n̶̘̙̣̂̃͐ͅd̷͈̠̽ȩ̵̘͎̲̭̋̌ṛ̸͓͎͈͕͑̑̄ ̷̛̹̻͛͘ͅm̶̡̯̺̻̭͌y̷̜̌̈́͂̀̚ͅ ̷̮͝ṕ̸͎͍̭͕̍͒̓r̶̟̱̖̋ô̷̗̓̐̾t̸̩̣͊͐͗̑͜͝ẹ̸̦͇͚̞̿͂c̷̜͠t̸̼͖̋͐̃î̴̢̙͕͇͕̔̀͆́ö̸̻́͛n̷̨̧̺̣̤͝?̸̧͕̆!̵̰̿̽͗̆ ☠”

Vox realises he fucked up and tried to escape. He’d come to fight Alastor, for knocking out his towers earlier that day… not face down the Devil himself.

“Y000our Maje33s555ty, I can expla- pla-plain…” he glitches harder, casting about for any spark he could use to leave the situation.

“You disappoint me, Vox. I always thought you better than this, lowering yourself to some petty attack in the middle of the day… and I assure you, it would not do to test my patience for you, dear. I am starting to grow… H̵̳̞͚̥͈̬̦̳̹̤̳̃̈́̉͂̈̔̍͂̓́̚͜ͅͅǘ̸̞̆͑̒̔͐̕n̶̡̳͇̹̟̤͕̬͍̻͚̝̬͛͜ḡ̸̡̨̗͍̭̺̠̞͇̻̺̃̄̽̈́̑̏̈́̏̐̚r̶̬̖͌͐̊̍͗͘ͅy̸̗̞̖̠̝̯̫̍́͛͐.” Rosie intones, and Vox looks about three seconds from Blue Screening… or ruining his pants. 

Alastor makes a disgusted sound, his static filling the air with warning klaxxons as baby Mira shifts in his hand and expresses her disgruntlement at the noise. He pulls back the hand holding Vox to the floor as it is clear the TV was enjoying this near death situation far more than anyone involved preferred.

“Leave, Vox. Or I shall enjoy feasting on what remains when his Majesty and Alastor are finished with you.” She orders, standing tall over him now. She claps at him, “SHOO.”

He hurls himself at a sparking wire from the busted wall, disappearing down the line  as hellfire singes where he was. 

Lucifer is seething, but he’s marked down that sinner’s name and face. He had all of eternity to ensure that such a creature didn’t get away with harming his Charlotte… speaking of, he hastens to her side.

Rosie, meanwhile, is taking little Mira and handing her off to Husk. Angel has Niffty in several arms and is stroking her hair. It’s a little more for him, at this point, anxiety about retribution from Val high in his worries right now. 

“Now deerling, you need to settle down as well because she’s fine… and Charlie’s fine too. See, Husk has her… she didn’t get hurt, your shadow saw to that.” Rosie soothes, as Alastor began to shrink down again. “See? Totally fine!” 

“...ah, excellent. Do excuse me.” He murmured, and disappeared into shadow.

“Blast, now I have to trek through his bayou in my nice boots. Husker, can you handle Mira for a moment longer? Excellent, good chap.” Rosie orders, sidestepping some shadow poppets that arrived for the wall. She pauses, glaring menacingly at the wing obstructing the way as if she was tallying the risks of biting his Majesty for the sheer pique of him holding up her egress.

“Hey, hang on… firstly are you okay?” Lucifer asks, and at once you can see the angel he was glowing behind the years of torment and self-hatred. “I retained a small vestige of my healing, I can help if you need me to. The child is fine, she didn’t even get dust on her.”

“Sire, I’m fine, but I do need to go and visit my deer friend before he goes on a rampage. Vox really crossed the line today, and over one of their little spats, honestly I have no idea why I don’t just eat the pair of them.” She grumbles, storming up the stairs with the King hovering behind. He’s not really doing this altruistically, its more curiosity at this point, but she’ll take it.

“So… what’s eating the bellhop?”

“I’d prefer, Majesty, if you refrained from antagonising him for the moment. This whole situation has stirred up something that I will mention, but ask for your discretion about, as I would have to eat you should you try and use it against him in this whole dick measuring contest you two have going.” 

He nearly falls out of the air hearing Rosie swear like that. It just… caught him off guard, is all.

“I-... er, yeah, okay. I mean, I was ready to end Box for hurting Charlie, but she’s my daughter and I’d burn down Heaven for her if I had to. What’s up with spooky in the swamp?”

“It’s a sad little story, but the gist of it was that he was never an only child… just the only one that grew up. Some never took their first breaths, their bodies already bruised from their father’s fists and their mother too frail to give them what was needed… and just the one little girl made it beyond that fragile measure. A little sister that brought joy into a place of torment and violence, who was doted on and cared for primarily by a brother barely older than her.”

Alastor will never tell you more than that, and it is not my place to share the parts around the cruelty of his father, the suffering of his mother, and all of the townsfolk who let it happen because it was easier than interfering. What I can say, is that despite the best efforts of my fawn-dest friend, babies cry… and violent men dislike things out of their control.”

Lucifer thought about his little Charlie, and his stomach dropped. 

“The little girl was dashed into the wall, you see. Have you ever seen a baby strike something solid like that? They have no chance… no way to defend against it. She didn’t even cry out, and that silence was so profound I am certain it had something to do with the manifestation of Alastor’s static ambiance. He hates when it’s too quiet.”

“...fuck.” Lucifer choked out, gorge rising. “I-... I would have killed someone for less.”

“Oh, never you mind, Majesty, he definitely murdered that man. Twice. You can hear his screams in the background of any broadcast if you know who to listen for.” Rosie grins, pushing open the door and shooing off the shadow as it leapt at Lucifer. “Come now, we’re here to help. In anycase, sire, the damage was already done… I think that perhaps today was a step too far for anyone to handle. Babies in Hell of all things, and then the one he’s even tangentially attached to is launched at a wall… I thought he was going to break the hotel in half with his panicked response.”

“...I… I didn’t even think about the baby, I was looking at Charlie.” 

“Understandable, of course, she is very much Your Baby and a delightful young lady at that. She was safe, you saw him put a tendril between the Princess and Vox, I’m certain. And I would have stepped in if needed.” 

“So, there’s a swamp in here… where do we look?”

“Oh, I know the place, it’s just a shame the place is so realistic.” Rosie laments her boots’ fate and storms in looking for her friend. “You’d better be decent, I’m coming in!” she yells, startling a laugh from somewhere nearby.

“Not a day in my life, Rosie…” echoes around them in the mist. 

Rounding a clump of mangroves, they find a mossy alcove under a large, sprawling tree that seems to be both a seat and a large bowl style bed. One might fit at least four Angel Dusts in there if they curled up a little.

Alastor was sitting there with his face in his hands, bloody gouges trailing from under his eyes down his cheeks. Reopening as they tried to close.

Rosie smacks his hands away. “Enough of that!”

Heart 2 Heart style talk about how everyone is okay.

Lucifer is awkward about it.

Rosie offers to use her power to settle Alastor to sleep, but he refuses, stating he wanted to check on the child one more time.  Lucifer mentions that a drop of his blood could do the same, if he imbues it right, and Alastor makes a quip about the king clearly trying to get him pregnant at the exact moment Niffty races past. Ensuring the rest of the hotel gets a messy version of it.

Checks on little Mira, she’s FINE.

Banter. Insistence that Susan is carrying the true antichrist and they need to let Heaven know to avoid hostilities. Rosie collects the child and heads back to Cannibal Town.

Husk asks if things are fine? Subtly. 

Yes. The wall is almost completed.

Once Rosie is out of sight, Angel receives an aggressive call from Valentino, calling ‘his whore back to work’ and telling him to give up any plans on walking for the next week because Vox came back pissed. He needed someone to play with… etc.

“Oh, let him know you’re coming, Angel. I’m sure we could escort you there.”

“Please don’t get me in trouble with Val…”

“My good man, he can’t hurt you if he’s DEAD, can he?”

Epilogue of Lucifer and Alastor having a conversation where it is slowly revealed that they are standing in the decimated ruins of V tower, twitching masses of viscera are left of their adversaries. 

Shell shocked Angel standing there, half horrified and half aroused. 

“Okay, I know the answer was no the first time I said it, but can I PLEASE suck ya-...”

“NO” unified response.

“Hey, your loss.” He shrugs, texting Cherri the good news. “Well, if ya change ya mind ‘Boss’, just know I can probably get ya pregnant with more accuracy than Short King there…” 

The sinner howls with laughter as he dashes off, at the truly scandalised expression on Alastor’s face. The temptation to yank him back by the soulchain was… strong.

“Oh come on… I could too get you pregnant,” Lucifer whines. Getting him a glare. “I mean theoretically. Had this whole argument with Lillith before Charlie, but she insisted… and well, let me tell you the whole process is No Joke. I love Charlie, but never again.”

“...that explains a lot about both of you.”

“I spill the best kept secret in hell and you backhand it at me. You’re infuriating!”

“I aim to tease, your majesty.” Alastor grins. He glances up at the pentagram in the sky. “So, it appears that things are changing once more, and of all the plagues to cast upon us… Hell is full of cannibal infants. Is there anything in that little book about that?”

“Er, I didn’t like how fictionalised it was, so I never finished it. No one said begat by the way, except maybe Uriel once when he made a joke about how he be-getting tired of hearing self-serving prayers.” Lucifer glanced up, then bac at the sinner. “Not the worst thing that could happen, I suppose… and hey, if Charlie’s program works, maybe we can get them upstairs and eating angels soon too.”

There’s a pause. “You know, I’m sure your sister is up there, with your mother… never had anyone under thirteen fall here, and that was a very specific circumstance. Msot teens get a pass because they’re all naturally little monsters… er, I’m bad at sympathising, but I hope you get what I mean.”

“Oh, I do… but watching you fumble was fun.”

“Fuck you.”

“I thought we’d moved past the impregnation discussion sire, I’m starting to suspect you have ulterior motives here…” Alastor quips back, stepping atop what was left of Vox’s severed screen as they began to walk back to the hotel.

“Oh you fucker-...”

“Alas, again I must decline, my short-statured sovereign. Many thanks for your consideration, but I dont believe I own a step-stool of the right height to facilitate anything salacious betwixt us. Ah, a pity…” 

“...I can’t think of anything you won’t twist into something fucked up…” Lucifer admits, cringing slightly as a hunk of what may have been Valentino once slipped off a nearby neon sign and landed at his feet. “Heh, guess that moth guy had guts after all… they’re on my shoes.”

Alastor can’t help but snort in response.

“Why little majesty, I do believe I could come to like you if you continue to amuse like this.”

“Excellent, you’re falling for my fantastic sense of humour already. So when I do decide to end you, you won’t see me coming!”

“Sire, given the lack of a step stool, I wouldn’t be seeing you coming in any circumstance…” Alastor deadpans, and flits up the street in his shade to stand next to a stunned-looking Angel Dust. Cherri Bomb is rolling on the pavement beside him, howling with laughter.

Lucifer sputters, grinning and furious that the red haired bellhop had somehow outmanoeuvred him in their little game of wordplay. He’s trying to slap something together on the fly, and finding nothing.

“Come along, your Lowness, I believe Charlie is cooking dinner tonight. At least one person capable of putting out an industrial fire should be present, for the sanctity of the hotel.”

“Hey, I taught Char-Char to cook. She’s fine at it!”

“...nah I’m with Smiles. That girl is amazing as long as you can force down charcoal flavoured whatever it was supposed to be at every meal. No idea how Vaggie manages it. There’s love, and then there’s that codependent mess…” Angel adds.

“

[Find way to end]

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

Popular consensus is that one day Alastor is going to eat Valentino.

So imagine if he did.

Angel is now free, Alastor on the otherhand is curled up in the Bayou with severe stomach cramps and drugged up on so many toxins it's surprising he hasn't developed spidey senses, wishing he'd thought with his head instead of his stomach and just stabbed Valentino with a Angelic Steel dagger.

Imagine if Valentino is the key to making Alastor swear off Canibalism and this time he means it. Rosie trying to talk him back into it because Alastor's deer is a Wendigo and unlike regular black eyed cannibal's who can quit with sufficient willpower Alastor will actually starve without sinner meat.

Funny if the Hazbin Hotel try to convince one of their staff to go back to canibalism because watching Alastor starve, die, regenerate and starve all over again because he is 90% of Pentagram's stubborn pride, is awful.

On the one hand, that's HILARIOUS

On the other hand, Alastor's from a time of bathtub gin and moonshine stills and cocaine in cough medicine. I feel like he'd take the hit like a champ, but still have indigestion about it...

Charlie asks aunty Bel, the sin of Sloth and also the paragon of healing in hell, for like... a demonic antacid...

If they did a urinalysis test right now it'd have Everything.

Every station in Hell and on earth is playing simultaneously on the radios beccause he's not in control and it is LOUD. Charlie goes to confront him about it because maybe it's in lieu of being able to broadcast screams (the whole thing happened in an ambush that went bad for the moth much to Al's delight)...

and she finds him like:

this man is looking through dimensions.

Lucifer, being the ass he is, finds it fucking HILARIOUS.

-----

On the other hand, the idea of each one of the hotel team bringing random people to the hotel and parading them past the clearly hungry but revolted Alastor like 'this one? you want a chunkier model? more lean? too much fur?'

is hilarious, I love it.

Lucifer offers to find something in the right flavour because Charlie is beside herself watching the wendigo starve... and she already veto'd just letting him kill the sinner for good. Twice. She made it clear if anything happened to the deer she would be coming for him next.

"You keep this up, Bambi, and I'm going to make you the sin of this ring because I'm starting to think you've got a more ridiculous allotment of Pride than I ever did..."

"...given the amount of paperwork you've been ignoring for literal centruries, your majesty, I honestly would prefer to double-die than manage that role..."

And that gives the King (and Charlie who was prompted into it) an idea.

"Alright, you wanna ignore the ever-present cannibalistic hunger and whatever? How about you help me with the fucking nightmare of paperwork, and I get them to stop shoving sinners in your face for food reasons?"

"A Deal? With me, majesty? Why... how interesting."

"I'll fistbump you for it, if needed, but let's not use the D word. It's an agreement... I guess."

"If you want to suck the joy out of it, like you've been doing to Princess Daddy Issues for years, then I will have to acquiesce..."

"Oh you absolute FUCKER-..."

And the library was about to get rearranged but Lucifer paused when he realised the other was too deep in his sravtion cycle to even pose a threat. Which pissed Al off more but really, what can he do but hiss and spit?

And that's how it starts. Alastor doesn't really eat other foods, except for the chance to feel (briefly) 'full' despite it being about the same empty calories as a plate of fairyfloss. It's not helping but it can make his stomach shut up for a while.

It's intriguing the lengths the others will go to keep him fed despite it all, Alastor thinks as he's fed a strawberry milkshake with an odd edge to it. But perhaps it helps to some degree, because he does feel a little better...

And then there was a very heartfelt attempt (they were close but someone held back on the spices, one should NEVER hold back on the spices) on several meals he'd made in the past. Again, not actively nourishing, but... perhaps spiritually, as much as physical satiation for a moment. To let him concentrate on anything else.

The paperwork was diabolical, though. The letters and missives alone were dated even millennia back. How had this gone so violently, disgustingly wrong? Well, anyone could see the King was quite... detached and depressed, but really. He had entire courts of Goetia who got aroused by parchment, could he not have asked one of them to be secretary? Maybe a judicious office of hellborn?

Give them a chance to move up in the world and secure a better future for their families over the centuries. Even just sorting this into piles would have been some form of efficiency.

When Lucifer first showed him the ballroom sized piles of crumbling paper and ominously glowing objects, he'd been a bit put off... but he had poppets to help-... ah, of course. Not at this time.

It was only when he realised this was one of many rooms filled with the mess that he really felt the existential dread of hellish punishment. But his pride insisted he could do this.

His shade was good at categorising as well, they worked as two sets of hands with a mind fast enough to split between them. He paused to check in on the hotel, or when someone brought a meal, or simply to let himself die for a bit before getitng up (the palace staff were quite gracious about it, they often left a pillow under his head, a blanket over him to prevent chill and a bottle of water outside of reforming flail-reach, for when he returned to life).

It took a few weeks, but eventually, half the room was overturned into piles of paperwork with chronological order to them. He did read or skim most of it to decide if it was current, hstorical, worth putting in a quick report, or for the pile for the trash.

Imps often popped in for the piles when they got too large, and would take notes if he explained any updates for the king. Such as an intriguing odd series of accounts about Envy, and an outbreak of hynarian pox in Greed that seemed to be cyclical. Almost every 12 months on the dot, actually, around tax time... Mammon was really pulling the one with bells on, wasn't he?

Let Lucifer deal with the idiot.

Alastor justified this all to himself by seeing this not as creating order from chaos, but instead organising the chaos into piles of future misery, sowing future chaos, and being able to use words to topple sins. How the little king's face paled when he saw hidden missives from the Sins begging to meet Charlotte, all hidden away in different corners of the rroom and his heartbreak at realising this was deliberately done?

How fascinating to eavesdrop on Lucifer calling different sins and goetia to account for things in reports they thought long-since brushed under the rug... as he reminded them that he was eternal, and judgement could be just as long if they attempt to play these games.

How... oddly endearing to see him overturn a conviction against a hellborn falsely accused (and the evidence was Right There, Satan was just being a big bad tough cowboy swinging his genitalia about like he owned the place, ugh). Sometimes, though, centuries too late for the individual, but a pardon to the relatives was appreciated and lifted some of the social stigma of the censure from them all.

It was not Nice that the King was finally doing his job, but it felt less... stale in the ring, now. Like things were chugging back to life, no matter how the engine spluttered and fought back , bellowing smoke (or hellfire in the case of Satan during what Alastor liked to think of as his Little Tantrum the other day).

The damned lizard had dared to imply that Alastor and the report writers / appeal seekers / clerks of his own court were all falsifying records. It had taken a few moments of pure revulsion to tap about on the phone Charlie had insisted Alastor have (though he held it like one does a full vomit-bag) to find a video of the most recent court drama for proof. Against one of the princes, no less.

And that, of course... had been delicious drama.

He'd actively asked his shade, and the few poppets he could manifest now, to seek out more on this matter and found a few propositions and appeals and requests about the matter. Collating it and putting it before ucifer with a pointed missive about how he felt the whole thing was a joke, and that the guilty party had been rewarded... and a request to please let him at least try eating a goetia to see if that might help things.

In all truth, if he'd met an Andrelphus or Stella when he was alive, they'd be in his cooking pot so swiftly the self-righteous bastards wouldn't even have time to call their daddy to ask him to get a lawyer. Spoiled rich brats with no empathy always stepped on others... and to blatantly try to murder Prince Stolas for his power? Well, expected for Sinners but not Goetia. But to do so when the ffather was, for all Alastor could read into it, the only one showing any level of love and care to their child together... whom Stella seemed to see as a key to power?

Hmmm. He couldn't help but feel a sympathetic pang of resonance for this goetia princess, and see a trace of his mother in Stolas. Sentimental nonsense, of course, but... Stella and the peacock fellow seemed like all the worst traits of the people he'd murdered slapped into two overpowered bodies.

Lucifer, infuriatingly, had told him no. Then amended that he would love to see Alastor throw down with a Goetia and he might even be inclined to give him a boost just to watch the insufferable pair crumble (they'd been part of a group of Goetia just fawning over him since he'd come back to power in a flagrantly false attempt to covet favour and Lucifer apparently had the same distaste for it that Alastor did when newer sinners tried to cozy up for no-deal based protections)... but right now Al was more likely to throw up and die than anything.

Asked if maybe Al would like a sinner? What if they sauteed it or put it in chilli or whatever that spice was that made even him hiss in surprise the other night?

Alastor coldly turned it down and left. "I'm going to eat both of them... I rarely choose a female victim, so do let this shrieking harpy and his sister know how honoured they are."

He doesn't notice, as the first room clears to almost nothing but a few tables of paperwork, that he is getting more strawberry milk than usual. Meals are done when focused on different tasks and letters. It's easier than to try and fight himself.

Perhaps there's somehting in it, in the hearty stews and unusually sweet pastries he normally abhors, that is helping. Because suddenly he can conjure more poppets...

Perhaps they grew complacent, then, because it was working. As, one day as he was midway through a rather ludicrously long report [about one Goetia being entitled to land from another but their third cousin's sister's uncle's best gardener's fourth son's preschool teacher had broken an agreement with both parties and blurred a legal line. He'd read it eight times and the nature of the complaint only grew more bizarre as he read it... Alastor had started checking the damn thing for cyphers, just in case this was some other hidden meaning to this frivilous nonsense] he absently bites into a sandwich and is halfway through the next before the taste catches up.

...there's no denying it's not breef or chimkin or pyork or whatever the feesh situation is down here. That's sinner. Well-cooked, and fantastically seasoned but unmistakeable.

He would get the best from raw meat, but this... this also would be helping. He's suddenly aware of how well-spiced his meals have been, how carefully flavoured everything he was brought had been.

It wasn't the fault of the lovely little imps who ran the food back and forth, (he'd taken pains to learn their names because the idea of treating them as faceless entities appalled him... for various reasons, and not merely because his mother had been some faceless maid to be treated as the owners willed). This was planned.

He tips the milkshake over... now he thinks about it, it was an odd choice for every meal, no matter what was served. The liquid spilled across the table... and then a few gluggy strands of something red that was clearly NOT strawberry flavouring eeked out at the bottom.

Ah.

The cakes though? He'd seen no way to hide blood or bone or sinew or flesh in them? A thought occurred, like a lightning bolt. Surely not?

They had had caramel and buttermilk frosting, he didn't normally enjoy such things, but they'd tasted... too sweet. Much like the angelic delicacies from after the extermination... he was certain if he watched the kitchen he'd catch angel blood being slipped in a drop at a time. Rosie was behind that one, he's sure.

She'd sent him boxes of fingers, but he just didn't feel for it... and gave them to Niffty and Mimzy apiece. They couldn't go to waste.

Rosie'd even tried bringing him a still-trembling heart a while back, and that had done nothing but give him a headache as the revulsion and hunger started a war between them. She'd also offered it to Charlie, as a way to 'ensure a growing gal has the strength of her enemies to rely on' which had turned the princess the most charming shade of Green that it'd really lightened the mood.

She'd also offered him a piece of her flesh, which Angel had initially shouted something lewd about and 'eating her out right' until he recognised Rosie was rolling up a sleeve and offering Al her arm. Watching Angel look like he was ready to jump off the hotel roof had almost been distracting enough to help Al ignore the equally enticing and disquieting lure of Rosie's flesh.

It's not unusual for close friends, family and even lovers to share bits of flesh as a means of bonding, of helping one another regnerate, and the like. He'd lost more than a few little chunks here and there and once a whole arm to Rosie... and at least a finger to that damned Susan, but she was the kind of ornery bitch you wanted to keep around, if only to use as a shield during Exterminations. He desperately hoped to one day see her demand to speak to heaven's manager and bully her way through the gates. It would be DELIGHTFUL!

He'd turned it down.

Rosie had threatened to tell Vox, and you know the man would send him eight interns all sauteed, in a heartbeat. Despite their tiff... they were friends once. Also they wanted to kill each other, Vox was more likely to send his own arm over to avoid Alastor dropping dead to this pathetic fate of starvation, than anything.

Ah, Vox. This had the digital fingerprints of the boxy fool all over it. just the sort of thing he'd done when Alastor had been severely injured back in 1962 and refused to seek help, but the infected wound refused to heal or kill him. Vox had slipped medication into bowls of warm blood and pretended Alastor was just healing normally later on. They'd fought about it, naturally. But had Alastor not done the same later n slolwy reattuning a broken pathway for Vox, when the other was too stubborn to have it fixed by a professional?

A wave of comforting static and his own would be slowly repairing and nudging it into place until ,w ta dah! it worked miraculously one day. 'See, I knew it would heal...' Vox said, and realised what had happened. They fought then too.

How long had they been slipping bits of sinner in his meals?

It's not like he could die forever like this, it was a mere inconvenience of several days dead... but he could come back.

To ignore his choice and-... and it was so obvious that it was working, wasn't it? His poppets? The extended periods between death cycles? Being able to play the radio without a physical one close by... they must all be patting themselves on the back, at having pulled one over on the radio demon.

He was growing FURIOUS.

He was growing... period. It'd been nearly six months since he was last able to manifest his demonic form, and while it felt shaky and tenuous, it was as exhilarating as always. He broke a wall entering the hallway and was still surprised that he could stand upright in there, with only some antler scraping. Given how tiny Lucifer kept himself...

But then, he did used to entertain Sins in their intermediary forms, all towering power but not the full unfettered selves they could be. Of course they'd need the space.

He's not really thinking of anything but his rage and humiliation and indignation as he slams open the door to the throne room.

Lucifer pauses mid-conversation with a smug-looking Asmodeus and a furious but cowed looking Mammon. "Oh... well, I'd ask you not to get mad, but I'm assuming you aren't feeling like letting me explain."

"Did you think it was funny?" he snarls, the stitches pulled and even snapped in some locations as the form fought him. The little king, oh so squeaky-toyy like with their size differential, walked over to him, waving the sins away.

"I mean, I did... at first, but you know how important you are to Charlie... and it was killing her seeing you that way. All of them, for some reason, have an insane attachment to you despite the fact you're a-... I'm not listing off your resume, I know you consider those your good points."

Alastor croches, hands bracing himself so he can look the little King right in the eyes. "Then WHY?"

"Because they care, you fucking idiot, and seeing you die over and over again for something so stupid was ridiculous. You're lucky I didn't let the TV guy have his way, he wanted to try hypnotising you..."

"It doesn't work. It's never worked, same frequency..."

"Usually? Sure. Now? I stiff wind could have killed you. What would you have done if someone had demanded a battle? Just let Hunk and Nixxy go to whoever defeated you? You're an ass, and you definitely should apologise for the threat to the cat guy, yeah i saw that i have like a dozen eyes here deer-boy, but you don't seem to actually hurt them. Not like the moth guy you killed... not like some of those you killed before."

"So why not? Why set up ths charade of paperwork... just to trick me to eat?"

"Well, it was this, or one of three other options and you would have HATED them. Charlie was going to do intensive hug therapy everyday for two hours to build self esteem and positive-talk or mindfilled-mess or whatever it is you through the whole thing."

Alastor reared back in pure horror.

"Yeah, thought you'd say that. Option two was Vox... and option 3 was me letting Beezlebub up here to like, forcefeed you in her super peppy way, but I think you would have found angelic steel rather than that. And she's also... a hellhound sorta, and Hunk said you aren't a dog fan so..."

"You wanted to let a Sin force-feed me sinners?" Now he was just perplexed, especially if Charlotte was also involved in such a plan. That seemed like something she would sign off on. "And... I do not mind hellhounds, as long as they aren't sprung on me. However I stand by hurling the dog sinner out of the hotel, he was being vile to everyone..."

"The one that tried to hit on anything that moved and didn't like the word no? Yeah, I was going to make him play fetch with his own spinal column, you just got there first." Lucifer grmaced. He'd been hit on for centuries but... that was quite the experience. He normally loved dogs, but that one was (heh) barkin up the wrong tree with lines like that. And then he went to Char Char and Maggie to make a suggestion like THAT?!

"You didn't answer my question."

"Hunh? Wha-...? Oh, no. It's not funny to us, it's not a game... your little aversion and death cycle thing was freaking them out. You saw even Maggie-"

"Vaggie"

"Vaggie brought you sinner options, right? I thought she'd rather rip her wings off again than be part of that, but she volunteered. Because you might be an asshole, but you're the one they like around the hotel... and I don't think you're as annoying as you were when we first met. Although if you drop another piano on me, I 'm going to send you to Lust... wearing one of Angel's tiniest outfits."

The sheer horror that pulsed through Alastor at that moment...

"Hey, don't make it cound like that, Lulu! We're ALL about consent... people can wear what they want in my realm and it's hands-free baby." Asmodeus interjects, feeling his sin maligned. "No one would touch if you didn't want them to, but they sure might look..." he winks.

Those gargantuan ears flip back and forth in confusion.

Lucifer starts to laugh. "Oz, this guy would rather face an extermination solo than be in anything less than his suit in its entirety. It's exhausting... you know it's not the 30s anymore, right? You can show off an ankle without someone getting flustered..."

"I own several casual outfits, thank you very much, but I just don't think that anything Angel owns would be flattering on my form."

"They would." Okay, the king said that way too fast. "I mean, comparatively, you're about the same size and shape... I don't see why it wouldn't? Wanna test the theory? I got good at proportions when snapping clothes up for Lillith and Charlie..."

Radio static warbled and slipped into an emergency alert.

"Oh, and you mock the tv guy when you send him into a meltdown... but look at you, the idea of putting your wrists on display and you're the one buffering."

"You're stalling. Why are you stalling?" Alastor asks, feeling heavy and slightly dizzy. This conversation was not the confrontation he'd anticipated...

"Because in about ten seconds you're going to use up that burst of energy you got from the sinner meat and drop. Then, when you're less of a hazard to my ceilings, we'll talk."

Out of pure spite, he lasted eleven seconds, before the power dissipated, leaving him on his hands and knees, shaking. His ears pressed flat, hating to feel so vulnerable and defenceless right now.

Lucifer flopped to the floor next to him, wings haphazardly in all directions. "We don't have to fight, you know... I mean, we can when you're well, because it was fun to go head to head with someone who wasn't afraid of me... but, we're helping each other here. You've managed to work out nearly a millennia of paperwork in a few months and cleared out a whole ballroom through sheer bloodymindedness... and I'm keeping you as alive as I can."

"Wait, this is the administrative cu[clown honk] who got me dragged before you?" Mammon yelled, storming over and growing bigger.

Alastor sat back, glaring up at the sin. "Your own reckless stupidity brought you before Lucifer. You could have at least changed the times of the alleged outbreaks or fabricated a better ailment... it was like a child writing their own sick note and signing it 'My mum and dad' and expecting a teacher to believe it."

"Luce, who the fuck is this c[clown honk]? He's a spicy little bastard... with an attitude. No respect..."

"No deals between Pride and Greed, you know the rules." Lucifer sighed. One of his wings tried to block Alastor from view.

"Oi, I'm all about entertaining you know that, Luce... and he's the-... the radio guy right? I could make him bigger than that! You're cockblocking my progress!" Mammon whined. "Well, what about it? Working for Mammon gets you like, some sort of perks... not money, but something."

"At half my normal power I can reach radios, phones and any devices touching my airwaves in all the rings. The only boundary is not being able to push past the pentagram in the sky... much the same as the picture box. What could you possibly offer that I would care for?"

"Uh, fame?"

"Notoriety is more fun..."

"Bitches?"

"No thank you."

"A litle bit of money?"

"I own millions of souls, money has never been an issue for myself or for them."

"What? You PAY your employees? That's just bad business!"

"A well-paid and cared for soul is less likely to rebel, because then the money and the housing and the safety stops. You should try it... and not with that vile little mammon-coin nonsense you've been spouting. The hellborn may not know about scrip, but there are a lot of sinners who would go out of their way to ensure they learn, and rebel against you for such a heinous slight."

"Who the fuck do you think you are?"

"Alastor, the Radio Demon... displeasure to meet you, I'm sure. Do you always smell of fried chicken and flopsweat, or did you plan to impress us all with this cologne?"

Asmodeus flared brightly as he tried to hide his laughter.

"Alright, legend... let's fuckin' go! I'm gonna KILL YOU!" Mammon roared, and twisted into his gargantuan form.

"Oh, do go ahead... I've been doing it all week. What's one more regeneration?" Alastor sighed, rolling his eyes. "I'm not getting up, so do as you will..."

Lucifer was going to put a stop to this, but Mammon paused at the lack of reaction. "Er, hey... what the fuck mate? Trying to kill you here and you're not really living up to expectations."

"Well I'm certainly not going to start running around waving my hands in the air and shrieking, unlike you I do rather care for my dignity."

"Okay enough. Mam, we'll talk about the tax thing later... but you're also forbidden, by royal decree, to bother Ozzie's boyfriend or try anything. Including sending other people to try something. The little guy has been through enough."

"But he's my top earner!"

"Just do whatever with those twins from Envy, they're new and fresh and whatever right?"

"Eh, they're okay..." Mammon shrinks back to his normal size. "But don't you worry rudolph, I'll find something you want sooner or later and then you can run my ads throughout all the rings on your little talky show or whatever, get the oldies and the sinners all hot'n'bothered for me."

"Lucifer... if I said eating a sin would help, would you let me?"

There's a very long, loooooooooooooong pause of consideration.

"Hmmmmm, no..." Lucifer replied slowly, "I think he'd be a worse experience than the psychotropic moth was and we'd never get you to eat again..."

"Hmmm, shame."

"Okay, you keep the freaky fucker away from me, Luce. I'm outta here!" Mammon exploded into a loud array of confetti and circus sounds.

"Does he do that every time? Quite obnoxious."

"Says the guy who turns into shadows to escape anytime he doesn't want to deal with emotional nonsense..."

"Well of the two of us, you're the-... well I was going to say better emotionally equipped to parent Charlie's needs in that department, but then I remembered who I was speaking to."

He's immediately smacked with a wing, which nearly knocks him over, and Lucifer has to grab his shirt sleeve.

"Whoops. But how dare you! What're you going to teach her now? How to be a condescending prick to people who could kill you in a second and then how to bluff your way out of it? I already taught her you don't take shit from other demons."

"Yes, and that's why she walked right into the Moth's studio the first time and nearly got herself molested and Angel killed. Try tempering the information with the reality that you sheltered your little princess so intensively she has no concept of pain or suffering or how the world leads to the outcomes sinners have... that a song and dance won't make a lifelong addiction disappear because she wills it hard enough. The trust falls, on the other hand, will certainly get someone redeemed, I'm sure."

"Hey, you butted in and decided to be Dad part 2, you have to deal with that side of things. I'll do the hugging and other fun stuff... you be creepy weird uncle dad guy who eats threats to her, and reminds her how sinners work." Lucifer rolls his eyes. "Buuuuuuut, for that to happen, you gotta eat... and you know what... or should I say who... you gotta eat. If you want, I can transform them into other stuff until you get the taste for it back... or I can erase your memory of discovering our subterfuge. Let you work it out again later."

"You will do no such thing! It may avoid your notice, your lowness, but the very few things sinners can hopefully cont on are having a body they may own the rights to and having some of their memories intact." He snipes back, incensed. how could htis little fool say something like that?

"Whoa, there's a lot of tension here... you two need couples counselling? I've got some amazing-..." Asmodeus steps in, and startles the pair, who forgot he was there given Mammon being Mammon.

"...that would not be necessary, we are most certainly not together. I merely decided that Charlotte needed a better and more consistent father figure in her life and used that as a verbal knife in his side when the king swept into the hotel and sneered down his nose at us all. Metaphorically."

"I didn't sneer-..."

"You looked disgusted from the moment you walked inside, refused to acknowledge a single sinner, got everyone's name wrong and talked over Charlie to the point she was distraught. I could see you intended to be helpful, but you DECIDED what she needed instead of asking. And then you were rude to me, which earned you the piano."

"Oh? What would have happened if I told you to get the fuck out and made it a royal demand?"

"Then I would likel have asked Vox if he still intended me to join the Vees and started a multi-ring slander campaign that would have sent you scurrying back to your palace a broken creature, for centuries."

"You think I wouldn't just smite you all?" Lucifer didn't sound furious, he was coldly curious. There was an age behind those eyes that was fascinating and terrifying to behold; like if you looked at an antique doll and the eyes sparkled in a way that reminded you it had watched generations live and die and play with them. And it would outlast you too.

"Given how easy it was to bait you into a song battle with a few words about Charlotte, and how quickly you fell into despair at her disappointment... no. Safe to say we could watch an angelic panic attack within five seconds of a broadcast."

"You'd upset Charlotte."

"True... but if I apologised or pretended to, she'd believe it."

"Hey, fuck you."

"Poetry. Now are you going to cease this infuriating nonsense of hiding flash and blood and bone in my meals like im a dog that needs a pill hidden in bacon... or shall I simply have to stop eating again? The meals don't technically do anything but blot out the hunger for a time... it would just be inconvenient, because it hastens the death cycle."

"Oh for fucks-... no, you're going to eat even more sinner and whatever else we can put in there. This can't be how you want to spend eternity?"

"I have lived... or unlived... through exactly this on several occasions before. I can survive it, it's merely invconvenient."

"Bullshit, when?"

"Well, falling here I didn't have an instruction manual for whatever the hell I was and theey didn't exactly have wendigos on the curriculum at school... the little any of us were allowed to attend. Rosie explained the whole thing when we ran into each other hunting the same sinner... hah, that was quite the story. She loves to tell it when she's quite tipsy."

"Well that's one..."

"And after the battle, that one was more a nuisance though. Because I couldn't actually let myself die and regenerate when I had a chest of holy light, I wasn't certain how that would play out. But it's hard to hunt like that... Niffty did her best to bring bits of sinner corpses, but it's never quite the same as flesh."

"Well you could have just said something..."

"Absolutely not. It dissipated on its own eventually..."

"No, M-Vaggie just figured it out and went to Charlie, who went to me about it. Had to get Angel to dose you with something when you weren't looking and then I fixed it for you. You're welcome."

"I don't recall-..."

"You wouldn't. He put this patch on your skin, it's fast acting, and you were out in seconds. Wipes your memory, apparently... once I heard about it, I sent some people out to find where it was being made and distributed to have it removed from the Rings. That's dangerous to have for many reasons... excepting medical. Ozzie here is working on removing the last traces of Love Potiokn from shelves... I know you hate that one too."

"You realise admitting to hiding things in my meals, lying to me and drugging me to have your way against my consent is absolutely giving me cause to never return to the hotel, yes?"

Lucifer actually scrambled back with a horrified expression on his face. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Don't put it like that! That's not-... I would never-... Charlotte and Vaggie were there the whole time... I didn't even really have to touch you to fix it... just pulled the light out. Don't say it like that-..."

"But I would never have consented to it, and you let a porn star slip me something unknown to enable it. Doesn't sound too good from the outside, does it?"

"Okay, look... sometimes the therapeutic approach requires you rebreak a bone so it sets right. Or that you have to drug someone before they die of Grace eating them alive, because they're stubborn as fuck."

"Not exactly making this more appealling. How do I know you won't simply do whatever you want or have the staff turn against me in such a manner to take revenge, in future? You've already proven completely untrustworthy."

"No, no stop that line of thought it's a spiral you don't want to go down. I know you overlord types are paranoid, but you don't want to go there. Besides, what other option do you have? Your original tower was annihilated in the battle... and you were away for like ages apparently?" There's a pause, "Actually, you've never said where you were."

"And I cannot. Suffice to say... it was a very long seven years, but it adequately prepared me for this very situation. So if you can leave me to either complete your paperwork without being harassed, or just let me leave altogether and forget this, it would be appreciated."

"And go where? Run off for seven years again? You'd devastate Charlie... and the flower lady? Maybe even the rude little flapper who brought the loan sharks to the hotel? Misery was it?"

"Mimzy. She has others she asks for aid from, I'm not special." Lucifer's words register, and Alastor fights the transformation desperate to rip free, because there simply isn't enough energy there for it. "Do you think... for one second... I CHOSE to GO ANYWHERE?! Maybe if you hadn't been such an ABSENT KING AND FATHER YOUR W-..." it chokes off.

The chain is tugged sharply... and the collar, humiliatingly, glows violently violet in the now too-silent room.

Lucifer seems shellshocked. "Is that...? Lily? Did you-... how did she-... where is she?"

"Up."

"No. She can't be."

"Yes... having been in contact with God's specialist boy... though I wonder how that works given he is deceased now."

"What does she have on you? What does she want?"

"Charlotte's safety..." he seems to roll the words around, trying to test for barriers and deciding the words were allowed. "Your abscence. The failure of-..." that cuts off.

"Failure of the hotel? Redemption? Char Char?"

Alastor half-nods. There's nuance there he can't provide.

"And what about if we took the fight to Heaven?"

"Not to raise arms against Heaven."

"Wait... is that why you refused to ake angelic steel to the roof with you? Charlie was very worried about that when she couldn't find you after the battle. Said she should've insisted."

"Perhaps."

"And you... you were with Lily? Up? For... the whole time you were away?"

"...yes."

"Why?"

"She refused to take no for an answer, a common trait of the morningstars, when I turned down her initial deal. She felt starvation and torture would change my mind. It didn't. But she did find a fmaily member in heaven and threaten them... which forced my hand."

Lucifer looked like he was going to be sick. "No... no she wouldn't do that."

"Uh, Lulu? Yeah she would. Something's been weird with her for the last four centuries, she went cold, man. Blocked us from seeing Char Char and locked off the rings. Told us you didn't want to see us anymore." Asmodeus added, reminding them all he was there. A small imp poked his head ou from amongst Ozzie's flames to peer at them. "This is my partner, Fizzarolli... he's very discrete, I promise."

"The one you're at war with Mammon over." Alastor stated idly, claws digging into the tiles to keep him upright. "I dislike the television and the little phone videos, but I did quite enjoy hearing you tell him to go fuck himself, my good man..."

"It was amazing, and terrifying, and I oved every moment of it!" Fizzy replied. "Its so surreal to meet you, though... Blitz and I used to listen to your programming all the time when we were younger. Before his dad sold the radio on us... tightwad. Really liked the screaming parts."

"Hmmm, I have them recorded somewhere on my staff, anyone in particular?"

"Er, I kind of liked how melodic the screams of that one Opera Overlord were. She used to come to our ring and do fucked experiments on the hellborn all the time... it was nice to hear her suffer."

"I'll cue it up when next I have my staff, for you and the rest of your ring."

"Later, when you've actually eaten sinner meat... Ozzie, stop giggling or I'll never get him to do it... and stopped dying."

"Oh psshaw, I'm fine enough."

"I had my like, limbs burnt off in a big fire at the circus once... took a while to learn how to live so fucked up and with these robo limbs. Fire used to freak me out, couldn't eat anything that'd been cooked... you ever tried to eat a raw thing of brockalli? Hard as a rock... well, I mean yeah, naturally, but its fine if you cook it." Fizzarolli started talking and couldn't stop the words. "And it took a while, but I came back around to food of the cooked variety... slowly. Got tricked too, little by little bit. Until I felt able to eat it... and then I met Ozzie, and I realised fire isn't all that bad. Look at me now!"

He kisses each of the three heads in the flames and not a single ember burned him.

"See, in compaison to that, you've got nothing to complain about." Lucifer said, gesturing.

Fizz looked startled, "Whoa your Majesty, I didn't mean it like that..."

"No he's right... it's not like he's the worst thing I ever ate, but the mixture of drugs, biochemistry and whatever in the seven rings he'd contracted all warring against my healing was a protracted nightmare I won't soon enjoy repeating. But it wasn't worth all this fuss... I know it's silly and I hate that I can't get over it."

"Well, being a baby over a case of Fuck Around and Find Out does that to a sinner..." Lucifer mumbles. He yelps as Alastor pulls on his wing. "Whoa, rude! Do you see me grabbing you by the tail? No... 'cause it'd hurt if someone started pulling at things fused to your body..."

A blurb of static exploded. "How do you know I have a tail? What else did you do when you had Angel drug me?"

"Whoa, no, no not that! We had to take your coat off and the concealment charm was damaged in the lining... I fixed that, by the way, you're welcome. No one did anything other than that and check the wound for infection. You want apinky promise on that one?"

Alastor settled slightly. "If that is all... I suppose I will need to accept the indignity of it all. It's hard enough to exist with Vox's little electornic eyes everywhere, without finding out the people of the hotel I have to guard might give him direct access to such things by taking photos or videos when I was compromised."

"The tv guy? Hunk said he was kind of a stalker."

"We were close friends, he wanted more and didn't like my disinterest in the matter... he tried to kill me several times over it, in fact. Shockingly, that also didn't bring the interest he craved surging forth. So he settles for watching my every move. I can distort myself to cameras, but it takes thought when my abilities are low."

"Why not just kill him?"

"...thought about it. He was a friend, and occasionally I see that in there still... also sentimental garbage. What's the odd betrayal amongst friends and family in hell, after all?" He laughed.

"Well... that sucks. Would you consider eating something proper if only to make sure you can keep yourself blurred to his electronic eyes?"

"When you put it like that... I can try."

"Then we work out how to stop whatever Lily's planning because I don't like that. But... if you do feel like going back to eating sinners and not just giving my staff a heartattack each time they find you dead, would you still consider finishing the paperwork? I don't even know where to start in the next room and you've cleared one in under a year."

"If you give me just enough power to match the icy bird and his heinously mannered sister... I do so want to devour them."

"Paimon might be pissed about it but... yeah, I'm willing to consider it. When you're well."

"Alright, I will go finish up in the primary mailroom or whatever you were calling that mess..."

"Nah, I mean you've used all your energy for today, you can just chill and take a nap or something."

"And ruminate on hunger unitl I die? I've been there and done that for years at a time, your shortness, not a fan. It's worth the distraction."

"I don't think so." Lucifer reaches out with a wing and drags the startled sinner over, latching onto a forearm with one hand before he could shadow out. At this rate he might fragment across pride, and that's not something anyone wants to do...

He deftly bats aside the claswed hand coming for his face, and presses a glowing hand to the sinner's forehead. "Sleep"

Alastor crumples into his lap, and Lucifer looks very old in that moment. Hovering a glowing hand over the other, letting little trickles of healing flesh out some bits lost to starvation, to give them more time to work on it.

The shade snarls at him from the floor, but winds about Alastor's form like a protective blanket.

There's nothing he can do when the issue is deep in the mind like this, that's why Belphagor was the best option here but Al wouldn't allow it. Soem psychoses he could help with, like breaking through delusions or hallucinations or using angelic light sparingly to guide someone back from a full panic attack.

This though...

"Lulu, baby, you just promised not to do exactly that again... I don't think he's ever going to trust you or that hotel of Char's after this."

"Well he'll be alive and healthy enough to spit in my face, I guess." He sighs, deflating. "This is so fucked, Ozzie... Charlie's dream led to war with Heaven, this guy nearly died fighting Adam and his weird little not-daughter stabbed the guy to death. This idiot does something nice for once in his afterlife murdering this rapist moth overlord to free someone else... well, all of them actually... and then gets a cripplng aversion to flesh, which keeps him alive. And now I find out he's trapped in it all becaus eof Lily... who has been in heaven for who knows how long. What is this? What am I meant to do with any of this?"

"That's a lot. Sounds like you're frustrated that you're beginning to care about Charlie's rag-tag group of sinners and suddenly it hurts that you were forced to agree to the Exterminations. Because now your heart is thawing you're wondering... how many sinners that were killed could be as weird and multifaceted as these sinners I know? Am I right?"

"Like a slap to the face."

"Good. Like the way your Overlord friend has been breaking down the ballroom, we're going to approach this mess the same way. Methodically, piece by piece. Work out what needs to go where, and make plans. It will be okay, Lulu. You have Charlie and all of us, and some of the sinners are on your side too I hear."

"...true. It's just... they look to me for answers and I am so very, very old Ozzie, and I don't have them at all."

"No, YOU expect you to have all the answers. The rest of us are just as flawed as you and your sharp-toothed pal there, its the imperfections that make us real. Just let go of that expectation, and we'll make it through."

"I suppose I could try. Now are you gonna help me get this gangly fucker off me or just stand there trying not to laugh as your king is stabbed to death by sharp boned sinners?"

"Now who's being the big baby?"

"Shut up, and stop saying we're friends. I wanted to smite him the first time we met and the desire grows every single damn day he opens his smug mouth. He thought he could swoop in and take my daughter... the AUDACITY!"

"Well you are coparenting well enough from what I heard..." Fizzy interjected, and got a glare from The Devil Himself. "Hey, I call em like I see em..."

Asmodeus took Alastor into one giant hand, and grabbed up Lucifer in the other. Much in the same way a mother cat would scruff her kitten. Lucifer wriggled and hissed much in the same way.

"Hey, I'm your King!"

"And you're adorable... now, show me where this guy sleeps, and then you can come chill with me and Fizzy-frog here in your room 'til you also fall asleep. I think everyone would benefit from nap time..."

"We're millennia old, nap time is for infants..."

"No, Bel was just saying that an overworked mind and bpdy need additional rest periods to avoid burnout. Let's try it, okay? We can even snuggle if you want..."

"What?"

"Don't you like making a nest and then snuggling? You ued to."

"Yeah but... I mean, I don't actually have to sleep, so I've just been ignoring that. Oh, this door... gave him the guest room closest to the ballroom-mailroom-nightmare admin place. Just drop him on the bed, I'll ask one of the hellborn to check if he's died later..."

Fizzzy wriggled down Ozzy to pull the sheets back as the Sin slipped Alastor onto the bed, and then pulled them back up. "Is he alright like that? the bowtie snd suspenders and shoes?"

"Hmmm? Oh, I think he won't mind if I snap them off while he's under the covers and his virtue is intact or whatever..." It took less than a half second's thought, and the items including the coat were tucked away neatly.

Ozzie grinned. "And you said he isn't a friend..."

"He isn't. He acts like we're divorced dads seeking custody of our adult daughter, and I have no idea how to handle it without getting pissed off every five minutes. I'd kiss him just to see if that's what he's angling for, because it wouldn't be the first time a sinner tried to climb the ranks by trying to climb me before, but I think he'd claw his face off in horror. I don't think he's interested in any of that. And like I said, I'm all about consent... except for emergency healing. That's different and I stand by it."

Ozzie narrowed his eyes at the deer, and his aura changed colours to a rather recognisable flag for a split-second, then faded back to blue. "You're right, he's not interested... but he definitely cares for Charlotte. I might be the muted form of love, but I can still taste the different flavours from sinners and hellborn when I really focus. So don't worry on that account, its genuine... I just don't think he realises how strong it is... that's either going to be hilarious or heartbreaking when he figures this out."

Lucifer frowns. "Huh."

"Alright, show us to your room... you got a nest ready to go or you wanna build one with us?"

The door shuts to Alastor's room as the king starts frantically teleporting the piles of rubber ducks from his room whilst engaging in pleasant conversation. Can't let them see the mental illness. Must hide the ducks. Remain calm.

------

Unfortunately for Alastor, when he next wakes, he finds that he's about two feet below a veritable sea of the bloody things. And his furious shout shakes the nestled, nested trio of Asmodeus, Lucifer and Fizzerolli awake halfway across the palace.

Lucifer frog blinks, and realises. His grin could rival Alastor's in that moment. "Oh yeah... oops."

"Not friends, my voluptuous ass..." Ozzie murmurs and turns over. "You go fight, I want five more minutes. Wait, where's Fizzy gone?"

The answer, of course, was riding on Alastor's gargantuan shoulder as he crashed through the wall seeking vengeance.

"Oh for fucks-... I JUST gave you that energy and you're using it for a tanrtum, AND you fucked my wall. Can you just settle down?"

Fizzy swung off an antler, seemingly not bothering the overlord at all. "Burger time. Burger time. Burger time!"

"For breakfast? I mean... I've had weirder... " Lucifer concedes and magics some up. "Bambi... catch!"

The sight several hellborn staff came upon later that day was truly fascinating, and very hard to explain. But at least the King had managed to get Mr Radio Demon to eat someone... if only there weren't so many burger pieces strewn about the carpeted floor.

That was going to be a bugger to clean.

And then, the Devil sent an angel unto them...

"Hi, I'm Niffty!"

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

Do you think if Adam's aim was just a bit worse and he took off/vaporised Alastor's arm instead of gouging his torso that Alastor would still return to the hotel (assuming he even can choose not to?) and try to play it off as just a scratch?

Deer man jumps into the musical, it continues for half a second before screeching off key when everyone notices the MISSING ARM?!

Also the pervading sense of guilt because no one looked for him.

On the one hand, yes, he's that fucking dramatic.

I'm basing the assumption of potential cauterisation on the fact that the holy light is, well, light and it vaporised Pentious completely. On the other hand, he did bleed, but that could be superficial because the inner/deeper injury was where the heat sat. I need to know more about these grace weapons. We know archangels have weapons of holy fire, so it wouldn't surprise me if Adam's aped it somehow. They gave him a big compensator to shut the big baby up... So like, on the one hand, (hah) he could turn up and kind of obscure himself halfway in shadows, and its only when someone notices that the arm they reached out to grab wasn't really there that it really flags with them that wait, he's made a shadow arm...

Or he could just be using his tendrils like, too obviously and Husk is like 'Hold up, that's unusual for you...'

Or he can straight up just turn up, like you envision, and wave them all off like, 'give it a week and a hearty meal of sinner, and it should be fine...' even though he knows and they know that angelic steel injuries cannot be fixed like that.

>more importantly, he sends Niffty out to make absolutely sure his arm was vaporised, because he fears what Vox might do with it if he found it. Much less the MOTH. Certainly he wouldn't overtly blame Angel Dust if he was made, by his chains, to film a special... but they could never make eye contact again under the circumstances. And it would likely upset Charlotte.

----------------

Lucifer was panicking.

He'd JUST managed to help Charlie, his baby girl, out of a pit of despair and now she was bordering hyperventilating and hysterical again. What was he supposed to do? How do you fix this when the panickee only had the one physical body you couldn't just detach from to panic on ethereal waves of light until emotion negated in ways humans wouldn't understand for aeons?

"Ey, paperbag. manifest. NOW. C'mon short king." Angel snaps pink fingers in front of the King's face, jerking him back into the moment and making the devil realise all his wings were fluffed up and out in distress.

"What? Oh, okay. Why?" He asks, the bag appearing as barely a flicker or reactive thought, and is snagged from the air by Angel. The starlet whirls about towards Charlie, who is sobbing, rocking and heaving air in like it was made of molasses.

"Okay, it's gonna feel like shit for a minute but I need you to breathe into this bag, in and out until you can slow yourself down... C'mon toots, I know you can do this. It's an old trick, but it helps." He coaxes, getting the Princess to curl her fingers around the entrance and align it correctly.

There's a disturbing moment where they were all collectively certain that the bag might just explode from the frantic nature of its use. Then, Charlotte started to calm down.

Lucifer felt his internal core start to settle. He's pretty sure its the archangel equivalent of a heart, but then humans had a lot of weird goopey stuff in there that didn't translate, so who knows?

His baby was okay, she was safe. This was just a little panic attack, all thanks to that Fucking Deer and his bullshit. His horns flare to life, tail lashing against the floor as red eyes turned to face the other clump of bodies in the room.

how dare he upset Char Char like this?

why hadn't the bastard just slunk away and died? Let her be sad for a day or two and then, finally, he could find her a more stable or less annoying Overlord of some kind. Carmilla? She was motherly ish. She had those... three? Two? Ish? girls?

Maybe Zestial if it was the old timey thing Charlotte was delighted by?

What about those media ones? This whole hotel nonsense was ridiculous and would break her heart, but it wouldn't hurt for her to be attached to a group of media-connected overlords. She's about the right age to start her own spy network... that's what Paimon said, and his children tended to have a pretty good grounding by their late 200s. If only Char Char didn't have his heart... she was too good for this place and these... sinners.

Desolate, disgusting and self-devouring things that just killed and broke and tore down and hurt for no other reason than it was better to hurt than be hurt instead. His expression fell into a scowl of furious distaste for the whole mess of them.

This was an abuse of the gift he suffered for...

They tore his wings off, they broke his halo and for THIS? These things that were once human?

And yet, Angel Dust was helping Charlotte settle with gentle actions and the authority of one who had self-soothed through worse.

And yet, Vaggie was holding Charlotte and whispering calming things with no thought but to calm her love.

And yet, the snake fellow had decided to risk everything for a chance to save everyone, today.

And yet, the winged cat bartender was herding the red fucker to a soft surface to deal with his injuries, whether the deer protested or not. Knowing he could be punished, and yet... no rebuke came.

And yet, the little maid was hovering quietly, holding tightly to the deer's coat and making sure he stayed... as much as she was ensuring she knew he was here... and the creature who seemed to revile touch did not brush her aside.

Was this what Charlie was seeing? These little acts of kindness and compassion and vulnerability amidst the muck and mire and murder and mayhem? Was this why she cared when he couldn't feel anything anymore?

She was so like him, that it almost burned to see her... to know that eventually, her heart would fracture, like his had. Like hr mother's had. That no good work remained. That eventually, despite their best attempts, even those they cared for and cherished would be torn from them, killed or fall to their own machinations.

One day all these sinners would be ash, and Charlotte may never rise above that loss. The ache never really faded, more akin to a bruise that when remembered one couldn't help but press on to check if it still hurt. To confirm the echoes of past pain.

"Dad please, calm down..." Charlie hiccuped, leaning heavily into the comfort offered by Vaggie and Angel, sniffling and scrubbing at her eyes. "I overreacted, it's not his fault... I just didn't realise... what I was asking. I mean, I did, but I thought..."

"That it would all be okay and that if we lost anyone it wouldn't be those close to you? Yeah... I think we all hoped for that. But, ain't the way things rolled out, was it?" Angel soothed, an edge there, like he was trying to be kind but felt frustrated by her continued naivety even after the battle. "People always die when the angels come, heh... I mean, this was just the first time you saw it up close'n'personal. First time their spears were aimed at you, right?"

"Back off, she's had enough!" Vaggie snapped, her eye glaring at the arachnid.

"But she needs to hear it. You know that. And if you don't wanna be the bad guy, I gotta do it. Besides... you've been on both sides of the angelic steel, thought you'd understand better than most the cruelty of it all." Angel shrugs, and with that many sets of arms, it's quite a wave-like motion. "I've been a hair's breadth from being skewered more than once since I fell here, its a fact of... well, death. Afterlife? Whatever. Feels different when that cold delighted fury's aimed at you, huh?"

"I... get it. I get what you're saying... I didn't see it before, because I saw what I wanted. But that's your reality, isn't it? Angels or Valentino, or the faceless people he forces you to sleep with for the cameras? The naked cruelty you can't avoid, just hope you can survive until the next moment?"

Angel hunches in on himself, arms curling in in an attempt at self-comfort. "Yeah... you get it now, dontcha? S'why I needed you not to piss off Val, I needed you not to get hurt... I can't stop him with me, same as we can't stop them angels forever... but I can keep you safe from him. I can keep Niffty outta his hands. I can stop him from putting his hands on you guys..."

"...I've been looking at redemption wrong this whole time... it's the actions you're already doing to help others, not some mystical future you who turns down drugs and sex..."

"Yeah, the roleplay was pretty fuckin' bad, toots... it was insulting as hell, honestly. And then you lavished all that attention on Pentious... I got jealous back then, real jealous. All that time I fought to keep you guys from Val and the Vees, and you're just handing your attention and everything to their pet spy..."

"I didn't mean to make you feel that way, Angel."

Angel sucked a breath through his teeth. "Then you need to understand that what you just said wasn't a real apology, right?"

Charlie looked shocked, eyes brimming again. Lucifer was getting worried this was going to make her spiral back into a second attack before there was a chance to calm her down.

"...you're right. You're right, I've been so wrong about this... I'm sorry that my actions and words and the way I went about redemption not only made you feel bad, but like you didn't matter. That I didn't care. You're my friend, and you sacrifice so much every day and I don't do what I should to keep you safe, to keep you feeling wanted. You're important to me, Angel, and I'm- I'm sorry about the whole time you felt you weren't... and it was my fault..."

The tears start again, but this time, she's not quite as out of control as previously, she's sobbing but not hysterical.

"Aw c'mere you silly bitch, it's okay... you think me'n'Cherri never fought? We just got better at apologising... right?" Angel enfolds her in so many arms that the hug seems half cathartic half straight jacket. Vaggie is confused to be caught in the middle as well.

"I-I-I just wanted you all to be okay... and then Pentious... and D-Dazzle... and then I thought Al was okay... because you and Husk and Vaggie and Niffty were o-o-okaaaaaaay..." The sinners were a few more tears away from being powerwashed at this point, but they held his sobbing princess tighter. "And, and then I re-realised I was a bad friend... b-b-b..."

"Deep breath, hun... it's okay, deep breath then speak." Vaggie soothes.

"Because I didn't LOOK but I kn-knew I asked him to fight Adam... and then something was wrong because he came for me... and- and- and-... now he's really hurt... but you all were okay. I should have looked... what if he never forgives me? What if he can never trust me again? What if this breaks all the progress we made?"

"He's literally a people eating not-deer that's here to watch you fail, why should you care?" Lucifer interjects, trying to bring logic back into this fraught moment. He realises that it hurts to hear, but... its the truth. "And let's be real, its not like he's much use now... why don't you let me find you a better overlord to help? The television seems to have a lot of sway, might get more redemptionists? Hmmm?"

Oh, oh no... that was a severely disappointed daughter look.

"That's kind of fucked up to say, Short King... especially the idea of replacing him with his weird stalker. You think Charlie would be safe with a guy who can hypnotise people into doing whatever he wants, and I mean anything?" Angel deadpans, the words rolling off his tongue with a distinctly disgusted air. "Like... he's my boss's boss, and he lets Val fuck some of us into reforming, you know? What do you think he'd do with full access to Charlie? To Vaggie? To everyone here...? Not that you fuckin' care, I know ya here for Charlie only."

"No, no, I care about some of you... because Charlie does. But the tv can't be worse than the deer... at least he doesn't eat people... but that's not the point, I'm just saying that even if you like it, it's broken now. And broken Sovereign Overlords, hah they think themselves so important... 'Sovereign'... ah... I mean, they get killed pretty quick, honey. He's not going to last, I'm just planning for the future."

There's a pause. "Remember when your hellacorn got sick and we had to have one of Bel's doctor's come to put them to sleep...? You didn't want Lady Midnight to suffer, did you? If we'd let her out in the wild the others would have eaten her, this is like that..."

"It's not the same, dad!"

"But it IS! I'm trying to protect you, Char Char! All these sinners will be killed or mangled or broken so badly they'll fade... eventually. I've been there. Your mother has been there. This, it's lovely, it's a sweet idea... but it's not forever. You have eternity to find and cherish more sinners and hellborn than you can imagine... but you will lose all of them, in time. We wanted to keep you from that for as long as possible, but you've always been stubborn, my little light."

Charlotte looks furious and devastated, but she can't quite form words around the lump in her throat at the statement. "You-... You-..."

A large, thick black tendril whacks the King across the back of his ridiculously behatted head, sending the thing flying.

"Shut. the Fuck. Up."

Niffty's eye went wide, as she giggled. 'Sir swore... you really made him mad, ultimate bad boy...'

"Have you considered, that your incessant coddling and blindfolding of Charlotte has contributed to this distress in any way, or are you used to just throwing power around until things turn out the way you want?" Alastor asked, looming over the Short King, seething with barely contained anger. "I understand Angels have never been human, but your daughter is at least partly one somewhere in there, and she is struggling. Not in a fun way that one can observe with schadenfreud, either. And you, all-powerful overfluffed fool of a creature, make it worse with every word... simply because the aeons you've lived have hardened you to even your child's tears."

"And what the fuck would you know, bellhop? At least I did my part against Adam, like you were supposed to. Where were you when she needed you, huh? Big words from a soon to be dead overlord... and she'll be rid of your slick influence... what are you really after? Go on, it's just us father figures, what are you seeking from my girl?"

"Oh you self-important porcelain doll of a thing... look at you, even now you are dripping poison into the broken heart of your daughter, and you're too absorbed in your own beliefs of righteousness to notice. I have never lied to her, watching sinners try and fail is amusing... and let's be real, if you'd done your job properly as King, none of this would be necessary. Why did you consign centuries of sinners to exterminations, hmmm?"

"Don't try to spin this on me, radio boy. I signed them to protect the hellborn, the only actually innocent thing in Hell... you lot got here because you fucked up your own lives and chose cruelty, murder, assault, drugs, theft, and so many disgusting other crimes in between. And for what? Power? Instilling fear? Revenge? Comfort and riches? Well, they didn't come with you, so what's the point in it all?"

"You are a pathetic little thing with a narrow view of the world, aren't you, my king?" comes the sarcastic drawl. "Was it apathy that moved your hand to sign the declaration... or were you coerced by your disdain for sinners? Did you perhaps want to punish your wife and remove the temptation of starting another revolution with your actions? Oh, she did mention that... how you became this odd little shell that sat motionless for weeks at a time, and how she would yell or throw things, just to see if you animated. A little broken doll in his palace playset. How... cute."

Lucifer flinched back. How the fuck...?

"That's why she took Charlotte... why she asked sinners she trusted to keep an eye on her darling child, when she was forced away. And why she was certain to mention you should be kept absent from Charlotte's life... she couldn't risk you infecting her with..." The gaze swept over the king derisively. "...whatever this sad display is. She wanted her to be a bastion of hope for Hell, and you wanted a forever baby that would coo and comfort you. There's a psychosis for that on earth, you know. Psychology textbooks are ilarious reads if you get bored enough to peruse them..."

Lucifer shrank back a little. his body was nigh invulnerable, his power near limitless like all his kind... but his mind? It was a thing created to span the universe and beyond, crammed into a shell for millennia, and filled with self loathing, trauma, fear and self hatred. It was a weak point.

Lilly knew that. And apparently, this fucker did too.

"Look at your daughter, your lowness... look at her face, and tell me if the queen was right to ask you be kept from her life? You, who thinks himself right no matter what conversation he steps into and has such a strong opinion on topics he hasn't deigned to hear the nature of. You who walked into the hotel and sneered at everyone, before talking down to your own child and deciding for her what she needed."

"Al, please... he's had enough... I think he understands what you meant. And I don't like that you broke into his insecurities like that... but Dad did start it by calling you a thing. So I... I really need... you two to apologise to each other." Charlie steps between them, and it's like a strike of lightning dissipating the humidity before the downpour starts.

"Dad, I love you... but you can't treat my friends like they're disposable, like they're already gone and some nameless thing. Maybe I will lose them, maybe I die and they lose me... but we're here now, together, and working on something important. Al, I didn't realise my mother sent you to keep me safe... and I'm sorry that it got you hurt, my dad was wrong, You aren't disposable... but you also can't send him into a depression spiral, I need him. hell needs him. So I need you both to work with me here."

"I'm sorry you are so estranged from your child, and the status of Hell, Your Lowness."

"AL!" Charlie warns, she raises her hand to give him a whack, and falters as it neared the missing limb's location. "Should you even be standing? That's... I mean, I know Husk was doing first aid but..."

"I have literally had to fight whilst half burned and partially disembowelled before, my dear, this is a nuisance at best." He tried to shrug it off theatrically, and then paused as it slightly unbalanced him. With a sigh, he turned to the king. "While the contents of my words were undeniably true, you deserved to hear them in a more... structured way, that... promoted... personal... growth?"

Charlie suspected if she turned around she'd see either someone's phone screen with prompt words on it or the world's strangest game of charades.

"For that, I apologise. It has beena long day , and I suspect everyone's tempers are fraught... you did come in to save the day, after all. And I will admit, the footage of Adam being pounded into the-... Angel, do stop giggling... ground, was delightful."

"Wait, what footage?"

"Why, from the numerous voxtech drones spying on the battle to voyeuristically watch the princess die, I imagine. Vox is rather like that... he has a thing about watching people turned into gorey debris."

"Some overlord was watching Charlotte fight to the death with Heaven and they were..."

"Getting aroused, most likely, yes. Do calm down, it is hell and therefore full of degenerate sinners, after all." Alastor gave another little lopsided shrug. "You should pay more attention to the Overlords, some have amassed more power and influence than you think, and they control swathes of the population without chains... especailly the vile picture box and his little hypnosis trick. If he should catch you unawares, it would be the end of us all."

"Why?"

"Apart from turning you into a puppet figurehead to sell his products to every ring, and possibly also Heaven if he can strike the right bargain? And he would absolutely think himself capable, no matter tha cost of life and limb... he'd barter Charlie's life for a chance to gain money and power from above. I rather believe your wife might have ripped him limb from mechanical limb by now were she here..."

"And he's stalking you...?"

"Frustratingly, yes. He's never really understood the word No. But intriguingly, you two share that malady, don't you little majesty?"

"What? No! I have always been a huge proponent of consent..."

"In some areas, yes, that wasn't in doubt. But where was Charlie's right to refuse when you talked over her and took over her hotel in an effort to self-aggrandise? Hmmm?"

"I don't-... I didn't... did I?"

"...yeah, you kind of did, Dad. But it's okay! We can work on it! You thought you were helping!" Charlie jumped to reassure. "And... and it starts with sorry-..."

"Please, no more singing today... there's been quite enough." Alastor's expression pinches.

"Oops, sorry... are you-... do you have a headache? I can get you something for it?"

"It's fine, I will ask Husker for something from the bar in a moment. I'm rather eager to hear the King try out an apology for the first tme since he begged your mother not to-..." His teeth audibly click shut. "Hmmm, the temptation to start the fight again was winning."

"And it's sooooooo great that you recognise a destructive conversational cycle, Alastor! I'm so proud of y-..."

"Please, refrain from your... rainbows and sunshine routine, my dear."

"Oh... sorry."

"Hey, she's trying to be kind, you asshat..." Vaggie interjects, trying to look stern, but she's slowly blinking like someone on the verge of naptime. It had been a long day INDEED. Angel seemed to be keeping her upright by using her to keep himself upright.

"And I acknowledge that there's been enough sparkles and glitter for at least two afterlifetimes today. Now, on with your apology, little majesty... I would like to get a drink."

"Oh fuck you, you pompous-..." Lucifer takes a deep breath. "I mean, you valued member of my daughter's staff and person who I am not mad at because you did fight for her and are injured, and I'm being nice. I wasn't kind and spoke about you as a disposable object rather than a person, so I apologise that my words upset you."

"That's... not an apology." Angel interjects, again.

"What? Why not?"

"It had the sound and cadance of an apology, but you put the blame on being upset back on Smiles... not on your own words and actions. That was apology 101 round here, maybe you need to stick about for classes, huh?"

"Oh. Okay, let me try again... Bellh-... Alastair... Alastor? Alastor... I'm sorry that I spoke to and about you so rudely. You have apparently been keeping my daughter safe on behalf of my wife, and even to the point you started a fight with me to point out how I fucked up. I maintain that dropping a piano on me was overkill, but in retrospect... I did try to cook you, so... I think we can probably compromise on co-parenting from here on out. What do you say?"

At the last second, Lucifer pulls back on the impulse to shake hands because right now... the left is all Al here has left.

"Well, he didn't start melting from sincerity, so that was a little disappointing... but I'm willing to be the bigger man about it." Alastor grinned at Charlie, whose startled snort of amusement turned into a cough. "Now, I strongly suspect there's a good point to pause and try out whatever new refreshments there are in this gaudy bar of yours, little majesty..."

Before he can turn, Charlie grabs his wrist. "Al, I really am sorry that you got hurt... it's my fault. I should have checked you were okay before we started rebuilding. If I'd known..."

"But you didn't, and the past can't be revisited, so why bother with would haves and should haves?" He replied, airily. Ignoring how Husker seemed to be watching him with the intensity of a cat with a red dot. "Husker, my good feline, do find something in the bartop to fortify us all. Possibly something with a lot of water for the princess, I believe there's little left in her body after all that weeping."

"Yeah, you're not getting a drink... I have no idea how much blood is left in you, but I'm guessing alcohol won't help..." Lucifer says, really looking at the other now. "I mean, it'd be funny... but you'll upset Charlie, so I'm thinking no."

There's a record scratch as Alastor's tendrils pick the now amused King off the floor by his lapels. "And you propose to stop me, little majesty?"

"Uh, yeah, King? And you're, heh, already disarmed..."

There's a pause as Charlie prepares for the Dad Off part 2 to begin... but Alastor simply laughs in that mildly unhunged way and puts the King down. Niffty joins in the laughter. She's not sure what the joke is, but she likes to be included.

"Oh I quite like that one... what else does his royal buffoonery have up his sleeve?"

"Well, unlike you, I have an arm..."

A studio audience laughed.

Husk groaned at the horrendous turn of phrase.

Charlie felt her sense of dismay rising, eyes flickering between the two of them. The dad jokes were escalating, and she wasn't sure if this was a normal turn for camaraderie after a battle, or some sort of mass hysteria onset. She started to text Aunty Bel for guidance.

Vaggie shifted into her managerial mode, getting between the pair of all powerful comedians and the bar. "No drinking. Worst thing you can do when missing a limb... or an eye, trust me... and having the King of hell tipsy would be a bad look after all the respect you gained today. Charlie hinted at something called the Beezelbub incident and wouldn't tell me more..."

The King's mouth dropped open. "It wouldn't get that bad, there's no beezlejuice here..."

"The King's royal staff was on full display, according to Zestial..." Alastor conspiratorially told Angel Dust, whose expression went... odd. "He believes he has a photo hidden somewhere of the event, I'm sure he'd come to a reasonable arrangement to show it to you for an interview about your time at the hotel, and being in the battle, hmmm?"

"Do it and I burn every building in Pride down, sinners." Lucifer teased, manifesting a glass of something. "Besides, I managed to remove that last picture last century, it's long gone."

He snaps and a series of plush red couches cram into the slightly too small space, looking more like a maze than a sitting area. With a gust of his wings, he manages to drop most onto their backsides on the furniture. They were useful for more than just looking handsome after all...

"Right, now... anyone injured and needing angelic first aid, say something. I can't return anything lost, not to angelic steel, but I can usually add enough power to kick-start your natural healing. Also, I can can do this..." He prods at Vaggie, and she sighs, tension leaving her creased brow. "Whabam, headache gone! Wing ache managed! You need to rest those things, Ma- Vaggie, you just remanifested them and haven't stopped using them since. The cramps will be a nightmare if you push too much harder..."

"Thank you Sir."

"Char Char?" he offers his hand, and she takes it.

"This doesn't hurt you, right?"

"No, not like this... absorbing grace sometimes feels awful for a minute but nothing short of psychological agony or one of your uncle's holy blades can do much to hurt me."

"And how does one procure...?"

"Oh shut it, bambi." He smacks the deer in the face with an errant wing. "I think you've done enough talking today... now have a drink and let me deal with that mess. I mean, the stitches are well done and all..." he added, seeing Niffty start to panic at the 'm' word about her obvious handicraft. "but the rest is just yikes in there. you can't vaporise a limb and part of a shoulder without some internal chaos."

"It's fine, hands to yourself."

"Why, you seem to need at least one more to balance things out..."

"If we're making hand-based offers..." Angel grinned, lounging back as Husk handed him a funny pink and green drink that seemed designed for a cocktail glass, not a beer stein. And yet...

Alastor sighed so hard it faded into static, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You are a terrible handful, aren't you, Angel?"

"I'd say 'two, if ya gottem' but er..." laughed the starlet, poking out his tongue.

"Husker, deal with your man..."

"Nope, you started it with the dumb hand jokes, I'm not dealing with any of this..." Husk protests, tail twitching.

"Ooh, let's roleplay, Deer Daddy... I can be a naughty criminal caught red Handed, and you can be the long, hard..." the pause was just too long for comfort, "Arm of the law..."

"...the puns were immaculate, but I can't fathom why you're playing this angle tonight, Angel. Surely even you are exhausted from the battlefront, bereavement and building of the earlier hours?" Alastor queries, at ease despite the lewdness, because really he knows the spider is playing.

And unlike his bosses... Angel is rather good at accepting a boundary, accepting a no without it being overt. They had been getting along quite well recently, actually.

"Oh, that's easy... not unlike me, Smiles, just saying..." the starlet flops back on the couch and drops his ridiculously long legs over the lap of an annoyed Vaggie, laughing Charlie and ultimately the arm of the couch. "I'm the distraction, right?"

"Wha-..." Something touched the back of his neck, and everything faded out rather startlingly. Radios shrieked in alarm before falling silent, a rather furious shadow snapped at the King.

"Wha-bam! Got him... okay, can someone get him off me, why does he feel twice as tall when he's flopped over me? It's like he's managed another height joke without words, the fucker."

Angel sighed and allowed Charlie and Vaggie free to untangle the deer from the King, and settle him on the couch. The King hovered a hand over the area, "Ooh, yeah... stitching's neat but it is a m-... er it's a problem inside. Let's try and put things back where they need to be."

"Can't you like... fix his arm?"

"...'fraid not, Sweetie. Or I would have fixed Vaggie's eye, already, I mean... as long as she wanted that. Once angelic light or steel removes something, it's gone forever. It's why I can't put my halo back together, they shattered it with holy fire..."

He looked so indescribably ancient and sad in that moment it was heart wrenching. "That was aeons ago, though, it's okay now... if they hadn't broken it, I wouldn't have you. And if this bony nightmare of a not-deer didn't fight Adam and stall him long enough... I guess I wouldn't have you, now, either. So... I'm going to set what I can to rights. Might be able to regrow some of the missing shoulder joint and collar bone, to give it the right shape... and unsinged the lung on that side... but not the arm."

"What do we do about the other overlords? I can't-..." her voice breaks. "I can't go through all this, all this healing and everything, and then lose him to someone like Vox or Carmilla or... Rosie wouldn't would she?"

"...you wouldn't like the answer, Princess." husker replied, not making eye contact.

"Alastor wouldn't, if she was hurt... would he?" Charlie asked in a small voice, watching her father work.

"...no, but he's an outlier like that. Once he has a fondness for someone, they go into some circle in his head that means they don't get touched... and he'll fuck up anyone who looks at 'em funny. Rosie's in there. Niffty. That bitch Mimzy, but I think its more obligation because they was alive together and he didn't bail her out that one last time. Me, for some reason... never really understood why, think he decided we were friends one day and that was it. You. Maybe Angel... and sorta Vaggs. I think Pentious was in there too, but on the outer edge, cause he could have pulversised the guy more than once but... he never did."

"Okay, that's the best we can hope for, his own regneration has been directed in the right areas. Should be stable enough to leave it for now... but there's always the chance of infection, or festering grace, and such. I'll stay around and keep an eye out just in case. You sinners are so durable and yet so fragile when it comes to things like germs, its insane." Lucifer muttered the last bit before turning to the rest. "Right, who else needs healing hands?"

"Oooh, Short, King, you can put them healing hands on my hot, aching-..." he's cut off by a wing to the face, that flips him back onto a couch. With a flare of golden light, Angel finds himself sinking into a nightmareless abyss.

"Nope. No thank you. Nap time for the overly aroused arachnid. Who else? Come here kitty cat, let's fix that tweaked wing..."

"Me next?" asked the terrifying little maid.

"Er, sure, you give that knife of yours to Vaggie for safekeeping okay?"

The pupil shrank in thought... and then bounced back. "Okay!" trilled the little sinner.

"How do I keep him safe?" Charlie asked, again, into the companionable silence.

Husk laughed. "Oh he'll fight you every step of the way, kicking and screaming... but you can get him to play along if you speak his language. Rosie worked it out ages ago. I have at least a basic idea on it... and Lillith was pretty fucking good at it. Not like manipulation or anything, just turning things around just enough that they come at him in a way he's willing to accept."

"Can you tell me how?"

"If you got time to hear some of the most goddamn insane shit of your life, then sure. He's not likely to wake up and eat me for it, right?"

Lucifer blinked, "What? Oh, yeah, angelic sedation is pretty strong... can knock sinners or winners out for weeks if we need to, depends on the injury. Don't want anyone waking up with all broken bones, you know?"

"Good, because he bit me once in reprimand and those teeth fuckin' hurt. Now, what do you wanna know, Princess?"

"Everything. Teach me to speak repressed allpowerful overlord... so I can keep his stubborn self alive when the others come to challenge him because... because I got him injured."

"No you didn't. He chose to stand up to Adam, you can't make this man do things like that even with these techniques, I promise you. Even without the deal, he would have stood between you and Adam..."

"Wait, what deal?"

"...you want me to be eaten? Forget I said it."

"Your mother didn't do half measures, duckling, she kept all her agreements on indestructable parchment or on a leash. I think... we know how she ensured he'd keep his end of the bargain, no matter how much trust they shared between them beforehand. She's... she was kind of paranoid when it came to your safety."

There's a very solemn moment.

"Of course, she could have also harassed him into submission by showing him the relentless barrage of your baby photos and craft projects. We love you char char, but you were a baby for decades, there's entire vaults full of your photos, portraits and finger paintings. After even half of one, maybe two thirds if he's particularly stubborn, he would have been compelled to make a deal to protect you."

Charlie's expression fell into a thousand yard stare. "Oh no... no no no NO he can't have seen the baby photos!"

"Can... I see the baby photos?" Vaggie grins at Lucifer, and he snaps his wrist to manifest a pile of dusty albums on the floor. Charlie hurls herself on top of them.

"Noooo, don't look at these, Vaggie please... I was such a weird baby and, oh no, is that my emo phase? Dad, why?! Husk, start talking Alastor-ese, now. Anything. Now please!"

"Alright... sure, for a glance in that album you have jammed in your shirt right now."

Charlie's shoulders slumped, defeated. "Fine... deal..."

When they woke up, Alastor and Angel would be devastated to realise they missed the delightful awkwardness of the King going through the baby albums (Vols 1 to 9) and giving a truly sweet story about each picture. No matter how Charlie melted into the couch, begging for death.

-------------

End of some kind

Imagine the overlords trying something and the hotel Responding

Imagine Charlie and Vaggie using Alastorese to trick himse into his own best interests.

Imagine the CHAOS of Lucifer and Alastor bonding. Reluctantly. but enough that the dad jokes, which they both enjoy, become damn near lethal. And Charlie has left her mother a voicemail asking to be picked up because 'please, there's two of them now'.

Somehow Angel is empowered to turn Valentino inside out and becomes the new Overlord of the industry. He learns the sound of one hand clapping as Alastor watches the vindicating slaughter, and only intervenes when Val loyal trhalls try to get in the way.

Imagine the dangers of an overlord who can compensate for loss with his shadows and tendrils. Whose power is underestimated for his lack of arm, and the people who die because of their arrogance.

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

Headcanon

What if the altercation between Vox and Alastor had higher stakes than either of them realised until it was too late?

That it wasn't until Vox was four feet into the pavement and being scraped up by well contracted thralls, and Alastor was striding away to find somewhere safe to collapse and regenerate, that the true horror of victory was realised.

She had watched the fight. Subtly suggested the dissolution between them perhaps through subsonic cues only two media demons could hear or resonate with.

Waiting for the victor. Wanting only the best.

Using her compulsion on the injured overlord to drop his guard enough to accept a deal for healing and an unspecified favour in future.

And when it comes to light, later, in some heart wrenching reveal of the master plan at play... it will become clear how vast the ripples were.

Would Vox and Alastor feel remorse for their sharp words? Would they regret the dissolution of their-... what they were to one another?

When she gloats to Charlie that all sinners were pawns in the fight against heaven and she need not try to see them as individuals so hard. It would only hurt in the long-run.

She's trying to edge Lucifer right out of Charlie's life so blatantly in front of them all and spares nothing but a contemptuous smile for the others there. Especially the ex-orcist.

"Oh chin up, darling... I simply needed the best to protect you, and to broadcast my song to all of Pride, when the time came. It didn't matter who made it out alive... they were always going to be my little guard dog for you."

Charlie feels sick. This wasn't the loving mother she recalled, she was... Wrong.

But then, her father was different too, with an adult's eyes and clarity. Insular, desperate for love and so unsure how to ask. Damaged ina way that hurt to see, and needing help he would never know he could have. Smaller, in every way.

Although she knew he used to be taller... he just... sort of shrunk into himself less metaphorically then most people, and that? That was her mother's doing. No doubt about it.

Not to mention whatever she'd done to Al in the 7 years he was apparently missing. She hates the way he looks so tired and subdued beside Lillith.

And for what? His only crime (well in this case his criminal record would circle pride about four times over if they tallied up the murder and mayhem of the past century) was winning a fight her mother orchestrated.

Lillith had laughed and made an offhand comment that perhaps the 'TV' wouldnt have been so difficult to bend to her will. Joking that he probably came with an instruction manual to change the pesky settings. Which made the deer bristle, fury alive in his eyes.

"He may be a fool, but he's not a machine to be tinkered with, you slavvering harpy. He simply has mechanical parts and an ego that arrives 5 minutes before him to any occasion. No amount of mangling his biological circuitry would change who he is."

"Oh? I seem to note he changed pretty swiftly after a little suggestion to both of you. A little murmur of discontent on the right frequency had you suspicious and uncertain of the other's intentions, hmmm? Look how swiftly such staunch partners tore each other apart after the lightest external meddling. Why, I notice it sure didn't take long for him to run right into the arms of that moth, hmmm?" She grins, sure in her victory.

Alastor frowned, clearly looking for an insult devastating enough to wound Lillith, without breaking Charlie's heart in the process. The Princess seemed so frail right now, Niffty could end her with a feather duster.

"Be that as it may, you scandalmongering shrew of a royal, but do tell. Which one of us ran straight to a man they abhorred and, well, abwhored themselves for-.... ah, what was it again? A pocket dimension prison, the condescending pat on the head from angels who saw you as defective, and all your power removed?" Alastor's head clicked to the side with a sickening crunch. "Even the tiny king is, despite the physical impossibility, at least worth four Adams. Wouldn't you say?"

Lillith's serene expression went cold, all disgust radiating from her infuriated scowl; malice alive in her furious eyes as she raised her hand to strike. The other curling the manifested chain around her fist, trying to yank him closer. His smile turned sharp at the edges.

"You insolent little-..."

Her attempt to yank the sinner to her halted abruptly as Lucifer placed his hand on the taut chain. Stilling the motion completely. He's looking at her with such agony in those yellow eyes.

"Did you really go back to Adam? The man who treated you like a Thing and not a person? Lily-... why? For what?" His tone was low with an internal agony at the very idea. He had shielded and hidden her from the first man in those early days. His censure for such acts burned into his skin alongside the other punishments. "You have power, you have a family and a populace that adored you... what the hell could he even offer, Lily?"

Her sneer was hard to look at as the full effect landed on the king like a brand against flesh. "Heaven. He offered Heaven. And Redemption for the sin of believing you... for birthing the antichrist and soiling our already tainted hands with her creation. For... the chance to be worth something again, I would slaughter the entirety of this ring without hesitation."

Charlie has a lost expression on her face, tears cascading down her cheeks as the others surround her in a silent show of support. Vaggie and Husk move a wing each to shield her from view as they glared at the Queen. Angel's hands on her shoulders and upper arms like a supportive bracket, and Niffty is just holding a dangling hand with a furious expression aimed at her majesty as she mutters about Not Good Bad Bad Girls. A familiar shadow twines about the Princess's leg in comfort as it chitters angrily at Her.

Stuck in his head from the revelation, Lucifer has no chance to brace himself as he's shoved to one side quite unexpectedly. An elongated radio demon is in the queen's face now, snarling and dripping black ichor onto her disgusted face.

"Charlotte is worth far more than you ever were or will be, little queen, and how pathetic it is that the whole of Hell can see how jealous you are of your own daughter. Do you not feel shame? Surely not, because you slunk back to the cad who treated you with such disdain the first time, for a mere taste of an ideal that masked a simmering resentment towards a child you created.

And for what? For Adam's angry exorcist side piece to turn you out on your ear the minute he died, like a homewrecking strumpet set out on the stoop for the local gossips to tutt at? Tragic. But far more than you deserved. Don't even try to compare yourself to someone who actually attempted, if naively at first, to use their inherent power for good, for the first time in all of history."

"That's enough from you, bambi. Perhaps you'll relearn some manners when I put you back in The Nothing, hmm? Where's your smart answer for that, sinner?!" She snarls, and the expression tightens as he laughed.

"As you wish, but it doesn't change the fact you're merely a desperate, power mad toy that Heaven cast aside. Still desperately clawing at any scrap of power she can reach no matter how degrading, and only providing amusement for those who see her as a pet. Silencing the truth does not wipe away the sins of you then turning about and casting aside your daughter for a fantasy forgiveness you will never earn. So go ahead. Want to try cutting out my tongue again? That was fun. How about more stitches? That worked So Well before... I'm still smiling about it." He dissolved into laughter.

"Whoa hold up, how the fuck do you have access to the Nothing, Lily? The inbetween must never be used..." Lucifer was aghast. The very idea that she could... that she HAD... was horrifying.

It was What Was before everything existed in this universe. He'd passed through the void with his siblings on occasion in the Time before Time, because that's all there Wasn't. It rather hurt mortal brains to think about and Lucifer had never found a metaphor that conceptualised it properly.

"That. Right THERE. That cowardice is why we're grovelling under Heaven's heel, you little fool. Why I ever tied my fate to yours..." she trails off, looking revolted at the idea they had ever touched.

"Oh do shut the fuck up, 'lily' dear, you malodorous old cunt." Alastor drawled, clearly beyond his self-imposed gentleman's demeanor. "What glorious future do you otherwise envision yourself to have, I wonder?

The truth is as plain as the Pentagram in the sky. You would have been the faceless broodmare and mother of millions, had you not taken a chance with the little king. A creature to birth and birth and birth and birth generations, never to end, because angels can heal anything right back up, can't they? They would have fixed you right up the moment you delivered, only to have Adam appear ready to seed you again."

Even Alastor appeared to consider the statement truly vile as it rolled off his tongue. "Hmmm, too distasteful for you? Well, disgustingly I might add, it's the unfortunate truth of the matter. Everything in that pastel nightmare realm is so exceptionally easy to break into... its a wonder there are even locks on the bathroom stalls. So trusting. So ridiculous. But, ah the things one finds when they look through troves of ancient information. Why, I saw the original plans for you... Mother of All."

Lillith was paling rapidly, furious and horrified. She seemed a split second away from vomiting violently.

"And what's worse is you left your post, left a void to fill... so to speak. So the good little angels with no concept of human minds or emotions or suffering... why, they made your counterpart from Adam himself to ensure she would never rebel. Not like you, the broken prototype who refused to submit.

But Eve, however? Eve wouldn't think to cry over her fate as she brought child after child into the world without respite for hundreds of years. Merely cherishing each of the spawn as she'd been made to do, always happy to take Adam and his brutish ways in her stride. To find joy in his attention and never understand pleasure until, as I understand it, you two stole her away from the First Man.

They have some very angry entries n those reports about you oth 'soiling her pure purpose' and 'forcing her to rebel' for... I believe the most decent phrasing would be insinuating that she decided Adam wasn't the only one who should be allowed to climax for once. And that ruined the plan, because he is simply terrible, despite his claims to be 'Dickmaster' and all. Heaven was quite frustrated, and working on another Mother of All before Abel was murdered, I believe.

Eve cast aside, purposeless and degraded. Adam sent to Heaven for being able to do one little biological function and thinking himself a god for the act. A child murdered and his brother creating the sin itself. A messy family tree, indeed.

All from your choice. Or your lack of choice... I do not think that, even as those here also detest what you have done, any would fault you for leaving. For defying your 'purpose', it was the fault of Heaven you were placed into such degradation from the moment of creation.

But your actions had consequences for so many. You cannot claim to have clean hands and blame the little duck-obsessed fool solely, when you left Eve to centuries of suffering and pregnancy, only coming back to save her once guilt ate you alive.

And you, Lillith... you did it once, just the once, and dare to claim yourself hard done by in the scheme of things? Would not anyone here claim Charlotte is a blessing in a land of filth? hmm? I do not deny that there was effort and trauma in the endeavour of creation, but comparatively, you broke your shackles before you could be made a Thing. Whereas Eve never had that chance... and look what she has been made into now? A Thing that was used until it broke, and then cast aside as Adam received all the glory... and now she is something far worse. You know what grew in her heart, how she has twisted to be an avatar of [a strangely static coated sound that didn't make sense, like you couldn't get your ears to hear it right].

But you? You became a Queen, one that even the lowest of Sinners looked on with hope in their shrivelled little hearts, because that was the image you wanted them to see. But you didn't care for them, did you? They were stepping stones back to something you thought you missed. Assumed you wanted.

But, although the little king can be irritating and prone to melancholy, you must admit that he would not be this despondent if he didn't love you still, like the smitten fool he is. Rose-tinted glasses helping him to miss all the warning signs, because he adored you...

Revolting, and yet, accurate. Your daughter has filled your little phone's secretary thing with desperate messages seeking connection for decades without the ember of hope dying in her breast. And you likely have never bothered to listen to anything but the last ones... about the hotel and Pentious. For how else would you know where to order those under your sway?

You were loved and wanted, Queen Lillith, and you will be reviled by your subjects once they hear of how you played their loyalty. And for what, I ask again? Heaven sees you as nothing more than a sad joke... the broken toy that wants to rejoin their game, and they giggle behind their hands as they pantomime kindness. YOU may have accepted their smiles, but I saw behind them while you were basking in their so-called forgiveness. You're just a-..."

"Silence!" She shrieks, finally finding her voice again. His jaw clicks shut violently, sharp threads flaring at the command, and even the ambient sound always surrounding the overlord went quiet. It felt like it had been ripped from the very air, leaving a dizzying ringing silence in its wake. How odd.

When Lillith opened her mouth, a sound came out that no one could hear... but they could, somehow. And they could feel it like an absence of sensation, as a tear in reality broke through. It was like they were a cartoon and someone had ripped the page, radiating an otherworldiness that made it hard to look at.

"What the fuck is..." Angel sways, feeling like the world was tilting madly as the... the not there tear pulsed something his way. It was worse than anything he could imagine, like all the days he'd been strung out and those he'd been withdrawing, rolled into one not-there sensation. His hands slipped from Charlie's shoulders as he hit his knees, curling in on himself and shuddering violently.

Vaggie made a choked off little yelp of pain and began to shake, violently. She tried to to curl her wings a little tighter around Charlie instictively; and then, seeing Husk hit the floor, she tried her best to stretch around all of the others too. She was only an ex-orcist, but her feathers should dampen some of the effects of the Place Before and Beyond. Her head was pounding and colours seemed to be bleeding down the walls... ugh, this was worse than she'd ever dreamed.

Niffty curled into the protective embrace of Alastor's shadow; hiding under one of Husk's wings as she made a whimper that nearly broke Charlie's heart.

"Mum... stop... please..." she managed to choke out, around a frantic desire to throw up or claw her own face off. There were things in the dark, in the nothing beyond, and they were looking at her. Oh Satan, they could see her-... she couldn't stop her knees from trembling.

Lillith made a gesture, and Alastor's chain disappeared link by link into The Nothing, even as he reared back to avoid it. Open horror in his eyes, limbs trembling from exposure to whatever this aura was that was dragging them all down to the pits of despair and perception.

"You actually did it..." Lucifer mumbled, shocked into stillness. "You actually... why... why did you-...? Lily, I can't..."

A tear rolls down his cheek and she laughs. "You can't what? Smite me? Of course you won't dear, you love me too much to ever accept blindly obeying that pesky little rule. Just take the antichrist and go... return when this is all over and we shall discuss how things must change around here when I take the throne once more."

"No. No you don't get to do this, mum, not like this... not to my people, my friends..." Charlie was stepping determinedly forwards, some part of her father's blood was shielding her from the-... the Place Without Description. "I looked up to you, Mum, I loved you so SO much that it ached when you were away. Please... please tell me this is all some trick, some big prank or that you're not well in the head because I can take that, I can FIX that and be with you in your healing journey-..."

"Tch, you've been corrupted... your heart is as full of foolish dreams as your head, there's nothing I can do with you now." Lillith spat, the Tear wavering as her song ceased. She turns to Alastor, "Come on, be a good boy and get in the void... or I start killing the miscreants you consider worthy of your time. What about the whore? Or the drunk? Or the psychotic little insect? Would you like to hear them scream?"

She pauses, then grins malicioulsy. "Oh I do apologise, I forgot. Speak, boy! Who is trapped in the well, then, bambi?"

"Go ahead, I don't care for any of them you know that." Alastor shrugs, tugging at the shortening chain. His ears flat against his skull.

"Oh... but you do. You watched me, little fawn, and I watched you... did you know I had the winners you spent time with tortured for information? Especially your mot-..."

She giggles in a high pitched, terrifying way as she dodged his swipe. "I knew I should have had you declawed, you feisty little thing... maybe Michael can help me with that sword of his.

You remember the sword, don't you darling? They hacked off your Halo with it, didn't they?" She all but coos at Lucifer, whose entire body went rigid with horror, with memories that still burned like the blade as it sunk into his angelic flesh and carved out the divinity therein.

She looks to Alastor, "You would have loved his screams, they echoed with the ancient vibrations of the universe... it was quite intense, and thrilling, upon reflection."

In a breath, Charlie was there and the slap was ringing out in the room like a thunderclap. It was a miracle Lillith wasn't taken off her heeled feet with the force.

Furious tears evaporated on Charlotte's demonic cheeks. "Don't you EVER fucking talk about my dad like that! I love you mum, but you can't do this... you can't come to this little place I carved out to make it safe for sinners and hellborn and those of all stations, and pull this shit. You tortured my dad, then my friend, and whatever that thing is, is hurting my girlfriend and my weird little sinner family here, and now you want to trigger Dad into a spiral with the worst moment of his life? What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"You... struck me?" Lillith blinked. "I was right to worry you were a tainted thing. Impure. Flawed. You defend even the worst of the worst... what a waste of all the time and effort I placed in making you. A disappointme-..." The admonishment broke down into a scream as Alastor sunk his teeth into her shoulder.

He was yanked back and half dragged into the tear rapidly, only Charlie grabbing his wrist stopping the overlord from disappearing completely.

"Oh, l-look at that your maj-j-jes-esty..." Alastor glitched, grinning with a mouthful of crimson coated teeth. "You blEEd as rED as any s-s-SIN-inner... what a cOm-mm-mon little thing you are..."

"I'll have you dismembered for this!" Lillith hisses furiously, and the strange song starts again. In seconds, the edges of the Void starting to seal.

Charlotte is shoved back and away, the hand wriggling from her grasp, as Alastor slips inside completely.

The minute the Tear disappears the ambient pressure finally lets up, much to the relief of the sinners present. Many of whom can't think well enough to get to their hands and knees just yet... but they're working on it.

Niffty begins to wail as the shadow goes limp, lacking all animation and tangibility. She tries to claw it to her chest to no avil, and Husk has to pull her back from breaking her claws ont he floorboards in her frantic scrabble.

And then the Devil is there.

Tail flicking with fury, fire crowning his horns, eyes red and violently angry. He grabs Lillith by the throat and lifts her high in the air, wings on full display as they hover above all.

"You dare? You come here and call our daughter a mistake, a thing that shouldn't be? You cast one of her friends into the Nothing that Isn't, and expose those she cares about AND our daughter, to the effects of that place? You Dare to speak of my punishment just to hurt me? And for what end, Lillith? To rule hell? No one will ever listen to you again after I'm finished with you!"

"D-dad? Please don't hurt her... she's still... mum?" Charlie sounded so uncertain it made the king ache for her.

"Oh... I won't hurt her... but I can unmake her. Lillith, you are stripped of your title and the Morningstar name, your power is forfeit to myself and you will be forced to eke out an existence in this realm for the rest of your days in whatever manner you see fit. If you raise rebellion or plot against the crown, or any under our protection, you will be Erased... only the pleas of your loving and amazing daughter have stayed my hand. You know the penalty for those not of archangel status who breach the Nothing Before is to be unravelled into aether."

"You wouldn't dare..." she gasps, losing her composure minutely. Her sharp nails claw at the hand about her throat.

"I would. I'm tired, Lillith, and I've had enough. Never in the millenia we have lived would I ever have dreamed you would be the greatest threat to our child... but for Charlie, I leave you alive to atone."

Something very bright and painful to look at transpired then, and the shift of air afterwards felt like the sudden transition from heatwave to stormfront. A very frail looking Lillith dangled in his arms, shuddering, before she was tossed towards the front doors of the hotel with little care.

It spoke volumes that Charlie didn't move to help her upright, though the princess chewed her lip raw in the moment from indecision.

"LEAVE."

Without looking back, the woman who was Queen staggered out into the world. Her eyes full of venom, but her mind frantic with fear of the unknown. How could she get Heaven to take her back now? They knew she was worthy... she'd done so much for them? She had to go to the embassy... they'd help there, right?

--

Charlie seemed half ready to chase after her.

But Lucifer's hand on her shoulder stayed the young woman. "I'm sorry you had to see that, duckling... but I won't let even your mother dare to- to-..." the words died as he was swept into her arms.

"It's okay dad, I love you... never doubt that."

Then she gasps, and pushes back, hands clasped about Lucifer's upper arms so tightly it might have broken a lesser deity's bones. "Alastor! Can we get him out? That was TERRIBLE."

"Huh? Oh... yeah. One second..." Lucifer said, eyes flaring red again as he concentrated, a note ringing from him that felt like an ice pack on a burn, a rainbow after a destructive storm, the soft lullaby of a parent when the nightmare ends. So... different. So very... Lucifer.

This tear had a golden seam around the edge that seemed to contain the rest of the mess, the radiating whatever it was, and ensure the impact was less profound than before. With a rather pointed flourish, he summons the chain he'd acquired from his wife (and made note of the other strong ones heading off in other directions he'd need to track the bearers of down later) and began to tug the being closer.

His light also kept the-... the um-... Charlie wasn't sure what to call them, or how to describe them. But her father's radiant light seemed to force them back and away as she spied a familiar form.

Alastor all but fell through onto the carpeted floor, shuddering, ears flat, but still smiling. It was like he couldn't-... oh. OH. Oh no.

With a twist of the wrist, mainly for show, the chain shattered... as did the threads binding the sharp smile. "Radio Demon, for standing up to Lillith to defend my... heh, 'our' daughter... and the rest of the hotel staff and even me for soem reason, even knowing the cost... I free you."

Alastor's expression was priamrily confusion, his lips stuck into the rictus of his grin even as the threads dissolved. As if he had no idea what else to do with it, after all these years.

"And what... cost is incurred for this service?" he hedges.

Lucifer blinks. "Uh, nothing? Wait, no... for this, I want to ask you something and get a real answer."

"Yes the hat makes you look ridiculous, I'm certain Rosie canhelp us find soemthing more regal." Alastor shot back automatically, through the radio on the table, as if he hadn't thought about it at all.

The King cringes slightly. "Okay, ouch, that felt a little too spring loaded for conincidence. But no. Now you have to tell me, and no bullshitting here, how long she left you in the void for before? That can have serious ripple effects for you and the fabric of reality..."

"...about four years, I think... as you know time becomes quite muddled in there and I took contextual clues from newspapers and dated documents and radio waves upon release last time." Crackled the radio.

The former archangel felt his insides do a full on backflip because... that can't be right. That would send most mad, even lesser angels had to spend a century with the Healers after getting lost in the Place that Isn't on occasion. It's why the restriction on entering and opening came about.

He's reaching out a glowing healing hand towards the deer, when Charlie side-tackles Alastor in a rather violent show of affection,and they both hit the floor.

"Ohmygosh don't you EVER do that again I thought we'd lost you for good what the fuck was that place? I'm so sorry my mum put you there... I would NEVER-..." Charlie's run on sentence is alarming to say the least.

"Relax, Princess. The void itself was the least of my problems with her around. Though now the chain is gone, I can finally tell you something interesting... several somethings, actually, that I saw in their little document pile. The most intriguing one you might like to know is..." The radio clicked off, and Alastor spoke, through heavier distortion than normal. "It's possible. There have been at least twelve documented 'spontaneous redemptions' over the last few millennia. All imprisoned, or killed. Mostly because the persons involved hadn't worked to change, I understand, and they don't like such hellish conduct in Heaven."

The squeal of joy died in her throat at the implications.

"As exciting as that is, I really hate that you're trying to distract me from pinning you down while my Dad heals you." She huffs, sitting more firmly on the overlord, whose ears were pressed so tightly to his skull they just about melded into it, as the king laid glowing hands on the sinner. "Just... let us help. And then we can talk."

"No... everyone here is going to have a little angelic naptime while I clear the Distortion from your minds so no one goes mad," The King says, then pauses to aim a sardonic grin at Alastor. "Or crazier than normal, from the horror of it. You do NOT want to have nightmares where you see what's lurking beyond out there. Lots of-..."

He glances down at Alastor. "Did you, by any chance, meet or make a deal with one of the eldritch horrors beyond time and space and existence?" He recalled seeing tendrils burst from the sinner's back before, that felt very eldritch.

Alastor seemed affronted. "A deal with something beyond human comprehension? Are you quite serious, my little lord?"

Lucifer sagged slightly, "Good, because if you had those are a bitch to brea-..."

"Now, taking a bite or two out of them, on the other hand..."

Lucifer felt his jaw click as it just about hit the floor. "You did WHAT?!"

Glass shattered nearby at the pitch.

"How can you even eat one of those things...?" Charlie asked, genuinly confused. "They seemed... hard to look at, let alone get your teeth in."

"Well, they needed some spices to really have any flavour at all, but-..."

"No. No we are NOT having this conversation right now. I'm-... way too tired to process the absolute insanity of what you just alleged. Because I refuse to believe you'd-... no, actually, from what I've seen, that kind of ridiculous life-threatening nonsense is absolutely on-brand for you." Lucifer sighs, hovering his glowing hand over the Overlord's forehead until those red eyes finally drooped shut with some minimal fuss.

Alastor relaxed slowly, as Lucifer sifted about in his mind, trying to tuck away anything that might break mortal minds too sharply.

"Dad? Is everyone going to be okay? After we saw... that? Them? The-... yeah?" Charlie asked tentatively. Her own mind reeling and stomach threatening to be a Problem soon, as the recollections of the things sat heavy in her memories.

"Yes. I just have to do some... 'editing', it's fine. Just go sit in the staff lounge area, somewhere comfortable, and I'll be in in a minute with the deer. He'll take time, four years is... yeesh, yeah. You guys have about a minute or five, so you'll get a heck of a powernap out of it." Lucifer reassured.

"You want me t'carry him for ya, Short King?" Angel asked, shakily. He'd managed to get upright, but the wall was holding him up right now.

Niffty was curled into a half-black ball, the shadow swirling about her for protection and comfort as its magic connection to Alastor restored sentience once more.

Husk was half-leaning on the spider, hackles taking their time to settle back down. On edge like a cat around a cucumber.

Lucifer waves them off. "No, I'm good, but thanks. Please just go into the lounge and I'll be there in a bit to fix everything. Promise."

Charlie watches him intently as Vaggie crouches by her. The pure love radiating off the woman almost subsumes her racing thoughts.

Lucifer was frowning. "Hmmm, this is going to take more time than I thought... but if he's already out, then I can just come back to him once I've dealt with everyone else."

"You might not get another chance, though, this only worked because you caught him off-guard," Vaggie warned. "He's got this shadow teleportation thing..."

Lucifer snapped his fingers and an impressive bracelet of small painted red ducks circled a slim deer wrist exactly. "That'll do it. Okay, let's go manage some potential mental breakdowns before we get to that point..." The king chirps, picking up Alastor as if he weighed nothing to him and striding towards the doors with a too-peppy smile on his face.

"Is he... okay?" Vaggie asked.

Charlie shook her head sorrowfully. "No... but we can get him through this. He's my dad. He can do anything."

"And how are you doing?"

The question rang in the air as Charlie crumpled into tears and was immediately enfolded in loving arms and wings. Vaggie soothing her until it died into hitched breathing and hiccups, and then soft exhalations against lilac skin, as the Princess let the explosive emotions carry her to slumber.

Vaggie gathered her into strong arms and walked towards the staff lounge. She wanted to hold her girl for a bit longer, but being close to the... the Tear... had drained her too. She was only an ex-orcist after all, barely enough to not go mad upon sighting it much less shield others... but she'd do it a thosuand times over for them.

A strange day, that would haunt them for a long time... but at least everyone had made it out safely. They could heal from this together.

Even if that meant that the deer she didn't hate as much anymore, was dragged into their therapeutic journey kicking and screaming, they would heal. Together. As a weird fucked up family unit.

She kisses Charlie's forehead as she laid her girlfriend on a nearby couch, and then settles beside her as the King heads their way.

Angel and Husk are a sprawled mass on a nearby sofa. Niffty was curled up in a futon, curled into the shadow that also seemed asleep. Had the King purged it to? ...could he? How did that thing work, anyway?

Alastor was spread across the largest sofa by the fireplace that was rarely ever lit, and the loveseat belonged to the two of them (for now).

As consciouness faded, and flashes of things in the dark were replaced by gentle golden light obscuring the recollections, Vaggie felt Charlie squeeze her hand where they lay intertwined. And she knew that everything would be okay.

They could manage anything together.

----

Another evil lillith idea

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

Headcanon - Purgatory AU

-------------

Actually super proud of this one, it was a very specific scenario I played over and over in my head and elaborated on over time. Much like the angelic EMP story, it's the one I'm most excited to write. Because it's a dystopian nightmare, and hope to write it one day when my creativity returns from the war.

The set up is a bit long but I was building the scene for future me, who might have forgotten where I was going with this.

--------------

Alastor climbed out of purgatory on the same frequency he uses to disassemble his enemies; something known only to himself and crossed across the three realms so none but another technologically capable demon might be able to reconvene his banished botherers.

Albeit, this discovery was made with a slight push from her majesty Lilith - though she hadn’t realised at the time. 

He died in 1929 but arrived in hell in 1933. He fudged the timeline a bit for anyone who prods into his infamous ‘well-known’ background.

True, though, rare are the sinners who remain from that time period unless they are powerful or canny, to dispute his claims. Indeed, many assumed he was here long before that time, amassing souls and power to take down overlords. Few really assumed he fell into hell and began tearing powerful demons apart. 

Where he had been in the interim still burned at the core of his soul, and tinged his nightmares with ashen terror if his powers were too depleted to fight them. To bind them away in a corner of his mind to allow true rest.

Purgatory. Such an ominous name for somewhere so vile and twisted. Hell itself was not even close to the cruelty of the Void.

It was a realm without true colour; literal shades of grey, black, and a lifeless off-white that drained the will to live and hid terrors beyond comprehension.

And even now, even with everything Lillith and her angelic sympathisers tried, Alastor’s still not sure how much of Him really came back. There are pieces that faded away there and other bits blurred into compete obscurity, to save his sanity. Not to mention how it messed with his senses; running into so many colours, sounds, sensations, after a desolate place of mist and shadows had been almost physically agonising.

 

Screams and wisps and things in the murk. No society, no safety, intangible... the fate of those who fell between the different realms. Phantom screams and moans echoed on the silent winds, their touch was volatile and a sensation you came to crave in a world where touch was impossible. 

The people there… the Forgotten. Some laid down in despair and died, again and again and again and again. Offering no resistance as their minds fade. The mist carried fragments of sinners swirling on the breeze, the only way to touch one another… and yet, others also threw themselves into the maws of the Guardians, just to feel something once more.

The horror of being there... the endless years of shredding into nothing and fighting to keep your mind and body intact every waking moment, of hearing nothing but the phantom echoes of people long torn apart and your own voice (until it faded into raspy nothingness from lack of use), of staring at placid grey lakes and wondering if it was worth it to keep trying, of endless days hiding from and evading (or indeed fighting) the beasts that lurked in plain sight and ended the Forgotten in their jaws relentlessly. 

The Guardians, all similar, all different. Things of immense proportions, fortified skin like a rhino and twice as deadly with protruding barbs in odd places, some came equipped with many mouths of violent teeth, their hunting calls echoed through you in a manner beyond sound… it rattled the bones.

Some were winged, others quadrupedal, others lurked in the waters. All hungry, all looking to silence any aberrations in their realm. All sensing with beady eyes or sharpened scent tracking or echolocation that made the skin tingle even as you realised it was too late to hide.

Some with tendrils that tapped the ground before them, and others that used their howls to mark you as prey with white sigils that wouldn't come off no matter how much skin you carved away.

You could never see them coming, just run, just hide if possible, playing dead would get you naught but devoured faster. Only to return to the cycle again and again in endless madness.

They were the ground, the sky, the rocks and shadows. They hid in the blinding stark white, and the deepest pitch of black. Your powers were muted here, terrifying and near powerless.

How could a neutral place be allowed such carnage? When Alastor had fallen in, he had assumed it to be Hell… for there was no orientation, no signage or brochure to share the details. But it did not quite match up. 

Later, he would discover that this was a realm untethered by time or space, as sinners from years before and years ahead would fall in at random.  And then, there was Niffty. 

This place was populated by the Unwanted, the Unjudgeable, the Forgotten souls who had either just Missed the threshold of heaven, but did not quite meet the criteria for Hell.

The only amusement Alastor ever managed was the occasional confused religious official who coalesced into a screaming greyed out version of their human form, looking bewildered and clearly calling out for angelic aide that would not come.

The Forgotten remained in their humanoid forms, most crumbling away after cycles of death and reawakening. Why bother to create unique forms for those about to die? But, for the longer-serving Forgotten, they changed over time… each day conquered seemed to tally up somewhere. Their forms enlarging or shrinking, fingertips falling into claws, or faces restructuring, little and almost imperceptible at first but undeniable as time wore on.

You could tell who had lived here long by the changes upon them. 

Those who laid on the ground awaiting endless death, though, they remained unchanged and slowly were trampled into nothingness. To become more of the landscape, the dust that clung to your hair, your clothes, your eyes and coated the inside of your mouth…

Hunger was always. Food was… there, but it did nothing. It satiated the urge for a moment and the hunger returned twofold. It was a cruel little trap.

But the powers, what little began to manifest as you changed or fell in with, strengthened with every day you survived.

Underworld type vibes. Those who lived more than a few days were either fortunate enough to have new minor powers that kept them safe, were lucky, or simply stayed at the side of another who was more experienced.

Partnerships rarely worked out. Another cruelty was that you were intangible to others, meaning no comfort, no ability to hurt one another, no shared warmth, no holding the others as they died, no ability to snag them from the brink of peril. Nothingness.

To see and feel nothing was vile in ways that were impossible to articulate fully.

Their voices are snatched on the winds and the sight of them is somewhat blurred. How else would this place make one feel so… alone, even if in a group? All a game by some sadistic fucking being who thought that those who dared blur the good/bad dichotomy deserved sufferance. 

How Alastor had fallen here was beyond his knowledge. After all, he initially assumed this was hell [a normal and anticipated punishment for his crimes]. But something always felt Off.

When he did eventually find Hell, the real one, it left him confused about his misassignment… had the fact he murdered people worse than himself tipped the scales? Was that what happened? 

When he had made it to Hell, touch became absolutely overwhelming and made him nauseous. Sounds were hard to blot out when one had the sensitive hearing of a deer acclimated to trying to snatch the tiniest displacement of silent wind as a leviathan made of teeth and endless torment trudged towards you across a plain of endless grey void.

And the colours! Never had he been so pleased to see colour again!

Why, as soon as he saw the red sky, his favoured colour from life, Alastor said he would wear nought but that shade for the rest of time… 

And Niffty… she was desperate to touch, to reaffirm where she was. The Cleaning? Dust, any amount of grime would trigger her need to remove it, the paranoia that they might go back, that the void had located them and would take her and Al and all their lovely friends was too much for her.

There were alliances in the void, communicated in silent gestures and over exaggerated words, so that others might read their lips. anguage had been an initial barrier until the pair settled on full english.

[None lived, or stayed strong enough mentally, to keep going for long when alone. Alastor fell to purgatory bc he did kill but it was specific people worse than him. It was defs strange and unexpected to fall there but if he got in surely he could get out. That was a spark of defiant hope he clung to.]

The one little thing keeping him sane was the ability to play music in his head.

Then there was Niffty. She was half mad by the time the pair met; but they made a game of communicating through bizarre gestures, some of her stories seemed rather… concerning, especially the mimed whatever it had been involving her doing a somersault as she punched her elbow and then broke out into a ballroom dance routine while biting at the air. Not clear. He never asked for clarification. 

Hell had many things to recommend it.

And now they could touch, Niffty took great liberties, possessive of Al in her own way; because the others could never understand how deeply distressing it was to lack the sensation of another. Platonically, of course. Even something as simple as sitting next to a person you felt some connection to and having your body heat radiate between you was a sweet, precious gift for someone who had been in Purgatory. 

He breaks out (of purgatory) when something in his head clicks into a new channel, his powers growing stronger as his antlers grew in, acting like antennae.

Heaven was looking down into purgatory, doing their bi-centennial fluff and fold of the dimension and Lillith was being forced to do it as part of adam's revenge at her. Adam HATED the chore, found it ‘grody and nasty, man’.

Her signal is different in an indefinable way... Real somehow. And he follows it, mentally, wrapping the intangible wavelength around himself and niffty's intangible form with something beyond touch, until he felt them slide into the radiowaves. Chasing through the portal as it shut, but in freefall as he caught Hell's frequency, to pull them free. 

They fall, as any sinner might, Niffty shuddering in his arms, suddenly real and blinded by the colours once more. Alastor felt sick from the sudden touch, from the bright lights and bustling everything, from the scents and sounds. Like being in a neverending explosion after such silence.

They crash into Rosie's emporium, stunned, sharp teeth marking them as hers. She takes one look and recognises something is up, these were not stunned sinners, these were fragmented souls. She cares for them first out of curiosity and duty as the Cannibal overlord… and then, simply, because they endeared themselves to her strongly enough that they became friends. 

Rosie helps them work out their powers.

In time, Alastor realises he's a Dealmaker. Niffty immediately hands him her soul for safekeeping, and to tether them together. 

Lillith reaches out to Alastor amused to realise the buzzing she felt in purgatory was now emanating from hell.  A deal is proffered. For a small tendril of her power, her song, to muffle the memories of purgatory that kept them awake and dissociating at night, Alastor agrees because niffty definitely needed it. All she asked in return was that he take on a supportive role for her daughter, Charlotte. 

Care for her as viciously as he had Niffty. She saw potential. She leaves him a cryptic clue about his own signal, which he works out can fragment sinners across the airwaves and immediately goes after rival overlords.

The first one was a fluke, some crass serpent-based Overlord who had dared to be rude to Rosie... and the second was what appeared to be a green flamingo with a gun that was trying to subdue a young woman [that would turn out to be one of Carmilla's lovely daughters]. 

Endearing him to the weapons dealer and Zestial, especially when he refuses to claim her soul afterwards.

"Pish tosh, i was merely aiming for the arrogant fool and accidentally helped your lovely daughter in the process. Perhaps a different weapon would be best, something you can conceal until you need it?" He suggests. Noting that the scientific young woman seems uneasy with the unwieldy spear in her possession. Her hands were small and deft, perhaps a pair of well-crafted daggers could suit her?

When carmilla and zestial meet niffty, alastor's response makes more sense. And if zestial stepped in to help the little woman when some thugs tried to snatch her a few years later, well it was only fair. Alastor offered him some of his power in thanks, making the ancient one laugh and bounce some of his own back. 

“For mine childe, i returneth thine thanks.” Zestial had smiled, his ancient eyes seemed to suggest he had an inkling of why Alastor and Niffty were… as they were. Perhaps he’d heard tell in his many centuries in this Realm. Carmilla also provides a tendril of her power as Alastor reciprocates.

It was not… unheard of for powerful overlords to share power as a token of great favour, usually through carefully crafted deals, but if someone had given them something beyond price, it was the sincerest means of thanks and trust. It was also a good way to hold yourself in their regard. 

Alastor threaded his power to them each, anyway, and Rosie too, naturally. A miniscule tether for them, an assurance they were not overlords on his list, in his own way. 

These tendrils held him in the here and now, and in turn through their deal, kept Niffty grounded as well. A thread of lillith, of rosie, of zestial and carmilla  - all accrue in him, winding about the threads of grey he feels tentatively clinging to his very core. 

Alastor follows Charlie from time to time on outings, and takes care of minor threats even her Thats A Whole Ass Angel gf misses. So naive about the perils of a realm made for death and destruction, really, the girl was likely to be impaled by a sinister mailman at this point…

Then there was Vox, who wanted too much too fast, who gave power and tore it back when he did not get what he wanted. A friendship that might have been more, was on the precipice, if either were stable, and now their connection was naught but a small buzz between them. A crackle of blue in alastor, occasionally seeping down the chain into niffty. Miniscule unlike the other tendrils, but there. Covering the grey threads that clung to their souls.

The grey that was consuming them slowly, though they did not, and could not, know such a thing. And what would they do if it came to light? No one could help, right?

Then, Lillith asked them to come to her, hiding them in heaven. Using her muted healing song to rebuild them and repress the grey. An archangel could fix this, but Heaven would shove them back in the purgatory realm  the minute their escape was known. 

And lucifer was wracked with depression in his palace. Maybe charlotte had inherited something?

Return after 7 yrs and separated. Niffty with Rosie, who adores the little maid. Alastor waits for his time, and then the interview with Katie Killjoy goes wildly awry in the most fantastical of ways. He knocks on the door, and it begins.

Now here they, are two months post early extermination, his wound angrily fighting the mixed mess of his soul, when something happens that should not be possible.

A crack, a rift, a fissure in reality has split above pentagram city and something came through. Not of Earth, not of Heaven. 

A great hulking thing in shades of grey and mist is making the ground shake, it storms towards the hotel in mindless purpose as it seeks out the Missing. Had it escaped, or been released once a breach was known?

For a split second, Niffty drops her duster, eye going out of focus as she stares out the window. “S-Sir…?”

Alastor's own mental eye flashes up past encounters, deadly hunts they had barely scraped through. He fights to keep his ears upright. Heart thundering...

And then the rage hits. The anger and fear and desperate need to remove the aberration fill him to the brim, and the radios go haywire as he strides outside to deal with the issue. 

With a snap, Niffty is armed with two needles as big as her own arms, and out the front door faster than light. 

Alastor shoves the others inside with his tendrils. Not taking his eyes off the Thing as he advised, “Do not touch it, it will dissolve your flesh should you try, and it will unmake you. Charlotte, you should..." the words felt tainted. "Call your father."

“What? You know what this is? Alastor?”

Multiphasic, to attack multiple Forgotten at once who all existed out of phase with one another.

He ignores them, slamming the doors shut and running at it, jumping with the aid of his tendrils to get astride the beast’s head. The many maws couldn't reach you there and the trick was to try strangling it out with the tendrils or stabbing through the primary eyes. 

As Niffty was batted aside, Alastor let himself expand, ignoring the ache as his skin burned on contact, trying to fragment away while he pinned the creature.

It lashed at him, raking at what it could reach with the tendrils, with its sharp teeth and skin. 

Stand still too long and your skin burned away in agonising dust particles. Razor sharp claws whipped past and gouged at him as he used a shield to pin it down. A discharge of radiostatic to short out the voyeur drones as they served no purpose.

Niffty returns with a vengeance and tunnels through an eye to get at the core, the only weakness they’d ever found, and lets Alastor help her tear it apart. The creature making a Not Howl of agony as it collapsed in on itself, and only Alastor’s ability to teleport through shadows stopped the insides of the behemoth from crushing them both.

Skin burning, bloody messes that emerge into the waning afternoonlight as the beast falls. Shadows holding it fast just in case, even as they sizzled. The grass about the thing began to die form the taint of it all.

That strategy had only worked once before when they'd been desperate enough to try it. In the past, distraction, misdirection, forcing one beast into the path of another until they fought had been their tactic. Attempts to kill often resulted in them being devoured or torn apart.

How long they remained fragmented was anyone’s guess, but when they again awoke, there would always be another beast to avoid.

A furious Charlotte bursts outside in demonic form, circumventing the shadows at the doors, and pulls up short in horror. She quickly identifies that they need to get the grey whatever it was off both of them as Niffty collapses into a trembling heap on the porch. 

Niffty screams as someone touches her, their helping hands jerking back. Stuck in her head and certain that the touch was the beast. Gurgling and shuddering in horror at a pain that she didn’t like, and a sense of fear she rarely felt because nothing in Hell had compared to Purgatory so far.

Alastor pulls at his green energy and snakes a tendril to her, settling her with the familiar non-touch enough that her abject horror subsides to more manageable levels.

“Don’t touch her!” He snarls, warning the others back, forcing them back with his shadow. He's fighting down the instinctual panic now the threat is gone, but his protective urge is going wild. Keep niffty safe, keep the others from hurting themselves by touching them.

“Please, you can trust us. Let us help her, help you…” charlie begs.

“You cannot touch us or you will be harmed as well.”

Lucifer bursts onto the scene all wings ablaze, a long-hidden blade drawn and cold eyes that survey the scene with mounting horror. Frantically checking if Charlie is okay, first and foremost.

His eyes are sharp as they snap to niffty, to alastor.  He darts forwards suddenly, to grab the sinners chin, and Alastor jerks back out of reach with a furious almost borderline panicked expression in his eyes. So at odds with his smile.

[explain the smile was set so no one can get a read on them, no one can know what happened. They discount niffty as mad anyway, etc. hide in plain sight]

The sword disappears as the king dissipates the Shadow, and grabs Al by the front of his shirt; placing the other hand against the static laden skin, ignoring the scowl he received, and the admonishments from the hotel guests behind him about not touching the guy, as the King’s eyes go Red to truly See. (explain better)

"I should have known. You shouldn't have been able to do that unless you've been there... how did I not See this before?" He mutters and flexes his wings, dispelling the grey from both sinners’ skin. His power pulses out, gently repairing what was burned, bleeding, bruised, or broken etc. 

"How did you get out? How did you get Her out with you?! It was made to contain anything less than a seraphim..." 

Alastor found his ability to speak was subsumed by the sudden burst of pain in his chest as lucifers power encountered Adams last little insult.

"Dad, let him go, he doesn't like being touched!"

"Oh I don't doubt it... I've been there a few times to do the Check In when Heaven’s feeling lazy, and let me tell you honey, it takes weeks to get over the desire to peel your skin off at anything tangible brushing against it. Lotta seraphim went full celestial form to avoid contact... and it fucks with your head. How are you...?"

"Dad, can you let him go and talk to me about what that is?"

"...one sec, char-char. Let's get these two sorted before they trickle back to their worst nightmare." With a snap of his fingers, Niffty stopped shuddering and sighed. Alastor's eyes rolled back and he crumpled, easily caught by the king as charlie shouted.

"No one go near that thing, it shouldn't be here and i'll need to talk to heaven about it. It’s-... this is bad, Char-Char. Real bad."

"Please tell me what's going on, dad, I'm freaking out here."

Vaggie had a thousand yard stare as she turned it on Niffty, and slowly, Alastor, before staring at the king.

"That's from Purgatory, isnt it, Sir?" She audibly swallowed. 

"Purga-what?" Angel interjects, confused.

"Purgatory, between hell and heaven for those who didn't make the threshold for either realm."

"No i got that, but... its reaĺ? How has no one here found out?" 

"No one outside certain members of heaven, lucifer and lillith know about it. Mortal souls can't escape once there, nor can they choose to enter it. That's one of the Guardians… or as we called them, the Devourers." Vaggie rasped out. Adding "Adam couldn't keep secrets around his girls, the man straight up shared classified shit on movie night just to sound important and see who wanted to bang him that evening."

Sounds about right.

"Hey can we get inside now? If Vox or one of the other overlords sees Boss like that, they'll be here in a heartbeat to kill him." Husk adds, gently lifting Niffty as Angel smoothes her hair down.

Inside transition, move to the staff only area in a side room. 

"Purgatory is supposed to be sealed shut, they check once a century. Huh, maybe that's how the bastard got them out..."

Notes that their souls are fragmented, a patchwork of different energies at play. The chains of his deals tether Alastor (and Niffty) to the realm of Hell efficiently, almost too well in some cases. But it had smothered their tracks in Hell. 

Heals them, including removing adams grace. Lucifer reaches out to heaven who panics and sends emily to help dissolve the creature, lillith as her guide.

Angst.

“Your soul is covered in the threads of it. Was that why you antagonised me straight up so i wouldn't look too closely?” Lucifer asks.

Maybe they do a thing where the others ask what purgatory is like, and Alastor offers to show them using his reality-bending thing. First he looks to Niffty, “Niffty dear, if at any time it gets too much, stab me and I will drop the illusion, okay?”

“Ooooor we could use a safeword?” Charlie suggests, horrified.

“You will see why that is not effective in a moment, Charlotte. Brace yourselves.” 

The sudden vacuum of everything is disconcerting, everything grey and intangible, a nightmare of half there forms and people they couldn’t hear. Hands that reached and didn’t touch. For realism, a Guardian swoops overhead and another rises from beneath Husker and Angel Dust’s feet, Alastor meant to stop it there, but the sudden loss of his own radio signals that tethered him to reality caught him off-guard.

Lucifer, snatching up Niffty who was about to stab Alastor, snaps the illusion away. 

Leaving traumatised hotel staff and guest reaching out for the nearest body to hold onto.

Niffty clung to the King, pupil pinprick with some deep emotion. 

Alastor blinks back to reality as his signal reconnects, feeling far more… Here… than before.

“Apologies, that went further than intended. As you can understand, most assume they went to hell when they arrive. Or I assume they do based on the silent screaming and prayer positions many assume… can’t ask, and there’s no writing utensils!” he laughed.

Charlie was throwing up in a potplant.

Vaggie was holding her hair.

Husk was being squeezed by four trembling arms as Angel Dust did the mindfulness breathing exercises from a few weeks back. 

“What the FUCK was that?” the spider eventually adds, choking on the words. “And people just… get stuck there, cause they ain’t too good or aint too bad to go either way?”

“The Forgotten. Yes.” Lucifer answers. “Lillith and I did bargain with Heaven over maybe taking them in just in case a few thousand years back, but, heh, Heaven won’t fucking listen!” he grinned, anger radiating off his smile. “Purgatory is a land of nightmares when it should be neutral. This was Heaven’s idea of a merciful way to get the over population down. Make the Forgotten want to end, to lay down and accept… which lets the realm slowly erode everything they were and are.”

“...indeed.” 

Beast tracked them to the hotel threads of purgatory on them. There's a breach from the escape. Have to send them back.

Niffty asks to be killed instead.

Lillith's deal is brought up. 

The scandal rocks the overlords, zestial had heard rumours but the rest... vox's spydrone catches info. And he uses it in the next meeting. 

Carmilla offers the only help she can, a small angelic dagger for the sinners to carry as they are forced back into purgatory by Heaven as a means of sealing the breach. 

Charlie points out that this was wrong, they fought for the right to at least be in hell. Breach sealed after them.

But even if it mutes powers they're stronger than before and full of shared power ties to hell. Alastor fractures Purgatory completely in his anger at watching Niffty and the others there suffer. This time, he's bringing everyone with them. 

This time he knows how to locate and latch onto the wavelengths of every person there. How to use the very realm itself as an amplifier to break itself into a thousand shards. Well, he also had another little failsafe.

Lucky he held onto a thread of lucifer and adam's power. The bindings forced the realm to accept an archangel's commands as he collapses it. Thousands begin to fall from the sky above Pride, the beasts destroyed with the realm as Alastor’s wrath flattens them.

Exorcists are sent to catch them and help sort the wheat from the chaff, so to speak. The good enough moved to heaven, others land in hell and stay there. 

Niffty and Alastor fall at the hotel, vaggie and husk grab them.  They won't wake.

More angst, dimmed grey threads on their minds and souls pushed away with small tendrils of others powers. Expended their energy breaking Purgatory, may never wake up… Lucifer turns to the Sins for ideas as Heaven blames Hell for this issue.

Emily is asked to intervene with Charlie, and they point out that more than a few of those souls were one step from redeemed, so why not let them fall to hell where she could work through their failings with them at the hotel?

Eventually get a ‘Fine.” and purgatory is shut down. Anyone not fully for heaven/hell lands in the grounds of the hotel… there’s a bell now.

At least once, the hotel crew have to force an overlord or wannabe off the property to stop them trying to kill Alastor while he’s down, and lucifer tries to heal the sinners with support from at least three of the sins. Siphoned energy.

They use Alastor and Niffty as a test case to see how they can vanquish the grey threads on their souls, and when they find the right combination, a cure is found. 

Spread to other sinners etc.

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

Jailbreak Jazz AU

Kinda want Alastor's Bayou to be a actual portal to Earth instead of a pocket dimension and he just pretends it's a pocket dimension to avoid getting into trouble for skipping out on his eternal punishment (and because the fact he messed up a pocket dimension spell as a young overlord that badly is a bit embarrassing).

"Sir, what do you mean I look like that dead serial killer? I was on holiday the entire time, you have a literal corpse of a man caught in the act.. He was dressed like me? Oooh, do you think I was his next target?! Officer of course I'm excited, this is the most interesting thing that's ever happened to me! My ratings are going to soar when I tell this story!"

Man's living a double life, pays taxes in two worlds, masqueradeing as his own descendant through the years (like in Highlander) instead of day job and nightjob he's got a life job and afterlife job. He makes sure not to kill anyone else on Earth in case he gets caught, but this man has travelled and seen things. He's the cryptid staticky background character in the black and white photographs across history.

Then Lucifer actually steps into the Bayou for the first time, smells the earth air, sees the earth night sky and is like, "...Wait a minute.. Wait just a damn minute.."

That's honestly pretty funny.

But he could also (initially against his will) learn the right slang and tell officers he's an up and coming influencer who is 'kinning' the bayou butcher.

Because if Lucifer comes back and tries to accuse him of it, who is gonna believe that ALASTOR said something like that? The man treats phones like he's been handed a bag of faeces... he still calls Angl's beloved smokkables 'giggle sticks' and used the phrase 'boy howdy' unironically the week before.

There's NO WAY.

And Alastor's just grinning over them all, smug as fuck about it.

Lucifer would make it his mission to get them to believe it, leading to a series of just-missed moments and hijinks. The King growing more confused and seemingly unhinged as he went... and Charlie trying new therapies because she thinks he's having an E-p-i-s-o-d-e as she whispered down the phone at Aunty Belphegor to get some help asap.

Two very large baphomet demons with more doctorates than muscles (and that was saying something) kick in the front doors to help with the King. Apparently this was the protocol from a while back, post-Lillith...

Charlie is a bit horrified, but they seem to be managing the situation with a clinical efficiency that was fascinating and terrifying. They also turned it on the rest of them, Charlie finds herself in therapy for self-esteem issues she didn't realise she had. Vaggie is reduced to a sobbing but more positive mess after they address her trauma.

Angel Dust seems shell-shocked when they talk through... soemthing. She hasn't asked, but he seems happier.

She's not sure about what they did to Husk but the man is agitated and uncertain at the moment in a strange way. He seems to cycle between holding his bottle and putting it away then seeking it out and getting annoyed.

Niffty... seems to the the only one that has remained unchanged. She lives by the motto 'traumatise them back'. Another two baphomet psychiatrists arrived the next day to counsel the first two and manage the manic little maid.

Alastor nearly eats them when he finds her sobbing later that day.

Charlie has to use her body as a shield,but he still tears someone's candle off and shoves it up someone else's form. It was impressive, but it pisse off Aunty Bel to hear her workers were hurt, no excuse for abuse and all... its why she rarely offers services to sinners.

She comes to counsel the King and the Radio Demon directly.

There was a rather violent altercation in the foyer, but she used a rather powerful sleep miasma she's known for, to drop everyone and got hold of the main offender.

It's rather rapidly made clear that between Lucifer and Alastor, the competition for who's repressing more is near neck and neck. Also who is the best at dodging her therapeutic efforts... and keeping them in the same room for more than a second was a whole other issue.

Bel has to nap more often because exuding low level miasma to keep them from shadowing or portalling away is exhausting. But she's good at what she does (when awake), and had managed Lucifer before... a mere sinner wasn't going to break her winning streak.

Cue a series of verbal dances where she challenges him on his avoidance, and he dodges even further, not quite implicitly mocking her... but bordering on it. Just enough to tick her off and distract focus.

In between it all, Lucifer continues to attempt to catch Alastor on earth and now he's convinced Bel to try with him. She's not a fan of the human disguise but... its a diagnostic tool, at least, she supposes.

She is worried about feeding into Lucifer's delusions... but that pauses hen she realises the portal to Earth is actually, very much, in the smiling sinner's room. And they find him on earth playing all sorts of games with the locals and even some of the internet peoples...

Lucifer nearly has a stroke when the alleged technophobe tilts his livestream (and who knew the guy kew how to use a phone much less whatever the fuck this is) towards Lucifer, calls him his awkward roommate, and asks for something called 'Fs in Chat' for Lucifer's 'lack of rizz'.

He has to really hold onto his form, because the desire for smiting was pretty strong. Bel keeps him grounded and they wander away to a nearby cafe until Alastor finishes up a too-detailed account of one of the murders.

Lucifer gets into the chat and is concerned about the sheer amount of people paying attention, some are fascinated, some are haters, some are clearly infatuated with the man, and more conncerningly... more than a few are fanatical to the point where they (are hopefully saying it out of hyperbole) are offering their bodies and souls to him. Those get a response, a simple 'Just the soul, thanks, it's a deal.' and a knife emoji followed by a stag emoji.

This seemed to cause a stir from the others, who would always react with excitement.

So this was a problem... they might be alive but it was still a demon deal, and they had no idea they were selling themselves to someone. Maybe it wouldn't work if they ended up Winners but... hmmm. Heaven would be pissed off about this, they didn't like it when Sins were summoned for this sort of stuff... much less Lucifer.

"And remember, take care not to wander the bayou late in the evening, you never know who's lurking in the shadows..." Alastor signs off and saunters over.

"Oh do stop pouting, little majesty... you know it's completely legal to make deals with mortals..."

"Fuck right off with that, deer-boy, they don't even know you own them now!" the king hisses.

"Why not put the truth in the chat, then? Scared you'll be ratio'd?" Alastor began to walk away towards the nexus point. Leaving the two more powerful beings to trail after him.

"I- what-... you're not supposed to know these words! Aren't you infamously against technology?!"

"In Hell, yes. Because almost all of it bar my radios, and a few mammon products, run off voxtech. Even the smallest microchip inside the damn things comes with a tiny terms and conditions, a small contract with them, the right for them to listen in ... and after we-..." he realises that's a tad too personal, especially for the company.

"In short, which you should be familiar with, technology and these fads are easily navigated... you do know phones and the internet and television use the same wavelengths and bandwidths I operate on. I can hear anything and everything, it takes more effort to blot it all out."

"That sounds... exhausting..." Bel says, her tone even.

"Sometimes... especially given Vox can talk to me directly if he-... wait, enough of your nonsensical psychobabble. I don't believe in it and you couldn't begin to unravel me if you tried!" He laughed.

"Hmmm, well, I mean you clearly come here because it's important to you, and you enjoy sharing tails of your murders nnow it's impossible for humans to ever consider linking you to the crimes, and I'd assume you've visited your mother's grave... or spat on your father's. But most importantly, this is something that shouldn't be allowed, and you flaunt the rules because it makes you feel more in control, despite the other barriers. Like Vox. Like the hierarchy. Like... whatever deal you have that limits your abilities. But on Earth, you can be a version of you who never has to be associated with the harder parts of why you started killing in the first place... especially now segregation is gone."

She might as well have carved him up, it would have been kinder. It was much like the mortal kombat game Niffty was obsessed with... and she was about to use her Finishing Move.

"And yet... I'll bet you haven't even visited your own grave, have you? The only person you don't really like at all despite this bluster is you. You made the whole persona in life, and death and then life again to distract and entertain and make yourself worthwhile... for the pain you caused the people who loved you. Your existence ruined your mother's life, and society never liked the half-born so unless you played along and ignored the insults every potential person was a threat. Am I close?"

Lucifer felt both vindicated and horrified. He's hoping Bel stays focused on the the rapidly paling radio host, and didn't remember he was here because if she starts listing his insecurities Lucifer would be tempted to ask Heaven to take one more hack at ending his eternal existence.

"And what does it get you if you are?" Alastor was clearly seething. "What has been the point of all this chicanery...? You invade our lives, put the rest of the hotel staff and guests into the point of near catatonia, and if I find out what was said to Niffty I will peel the flesh off your foolish little lambs for their audacity, she has been coming back to herself for decades slowly and some fucking fool decided to rip away her only coping mechanisms."

"Ah, so you are aware of-..."

"Listen, Mary's little Narcoleptic Lamb, you have ignored sinners for most of eternity... we have found our own ways to manage and cope, and not just the ones you prefer. Your cute little textbooks and meditations and pretty words are all well and good for those who can pay for it... don't think we didn't notice how the hellborn end to be missed as well, but others have so-called maladaptive coping strategies in place that are working. We don't need you to walk in and assume you know better... but it's not hard to see who you get it from, given that's exactly what his Lowness did the minute he arrived at the hotel."

"You dislike people in power, hmmm?"

"What gave that away? The disdain in my tone or the desire to turn you into a well-spiced meal? There will always be someone who thinks they know better than you, who wants to control your life and those of everyone around you... even those who think they are helping, but won't LISTEN to those they 'help'. And let's be real, all charity is just a bill that will come due in time. Isn't that right, Lucifer? You came in to help Charlotte to buy her love?"

"Hey, fuck you. Not like YOU would ever understand what it means to love something more than yourself you prick!"

He actually didn't expect to be punched. That one was a surprise. The pathway was thankfully deserted this close to the bayou, so he didn't have to fake a whole stumble and fall. The second strike didn't land.

Alastor actually appeared upset. "How dare you imply that-..." he clenched his fists and dropped into shadows, zipping away across the ground into the marshland.

"Lu..." Bel said, her tone moderate and soft as always, but you could feel the reproach. "I understand the pair of you fight, but that was crueller than I've known you to reach..."

"What? He's trying to steal my daughter! What exactly are you expecting me to do, pardon the bastard?!"

"I think that given I was in the middle of peeling back his layers, striking a very sincere insecurity like that was below your dignity. Would you have reacted well if he'd burst in mid-session and taken a jab at your feelings about inadequate parenting? Ah, I said during a session, when your walls are all the way down, not the regular nonsense you go on about."

"...no."

"Then enough. I do have to find him, you know we don't open a box and send a client out... you must help them repack it safely. Imagine if I left you raw and bleeding?"

"...fine. I can feel the idiot's aura that way, it's deeper in than I thought but I can already sense these boots are going to be ruined."

In the dark, winding nightmare of the bayou, where the ground sucked and squelched, wherethe trees shifted ominously and the taste of marsh coated the back of your throat. Things shifted in the shadows, naturally avoiding the predators that moved through; snakes and frogs and toads and the odd rumble of a gator as it submerged...

Past the hollowed wreck of what may have once been a little cabin, and odd pockets that felt stained with something only sin-sensitive beings could notice, and onward still.

"Come on Bel, he'll come home when he's done sulking, this is bullshit..." he whines, almighty king of hell, as the humidity clung to him and his boot nearly stayed as sacrifice to the bayou.

"I wouldn't leave you out here, in a crisis."

"But he's not ME, he's some random cannibalistic serial killer who wants to ruin my life by keeping me from Charlie!"

She turned to him now. "Do you really think he could? She loves you so desperately she wants to find a way to save sinners AND take the burden of their deaths off your heart, Lu. And she is made of love. Almost literally if I understand how much creation magic was involved to spin her to existence. Charlotte has a heart that can encompass many people, including you and Lillith, maybe this sinner in some form of odd mentor role, and of course all the sinners in her hotel. She wants to put all of Hell in there. Stop seeing it as a competition, and focus on Charlotte."

Well, that hit the wind right out of him the way the punch hadn't quite managed. "...what?"

"You heard me, Lu. And I want you to consider how frightened and alone Charlotte has felt... and that almost every single sinner in your kingdom has been there, at some point. And the goetia. And the hellborn. And that perhaps the frightened, beaten, injured child in each of those around her now... the ones who fought their way to who they are, see that in her. And they reached out their hands to her in whatever way they have learned to attempt trust."

"She's surrounded by an ex-orcist, a drunk former overlord, whatever the fuck is wrong with the maid, a porn star ho keeps making passes at me, the snake guy who was weird about weapons that died, and this deer fucker who challenges me at every step. How am I supposed to feel she's safe?"

"Because you are looking from tired eyes that see everything as a threat, Lu. Trust that Charlie isn't as naive as we assume, especially now she's had the world revealled so starkly." Bel assured.

"I want you to also consider this... the sinners around her are helping in the best ways they can. The bartender sees all, assesses threats and gives good advice for all his spirit is broken. The porn star has been broken and used against his will for decades, and he does everything in his power to shield Charlie from that.

The little maid... her story is so complicated you just need to understand that she'd murder anyone who stood against your daughter now she's taken a liking. The exorcist and your daughter... are a little codependent, but we're working on that.

She sees her as the sun. And the deer, who you worry about most, has marked her as his... which I strongly believe is the way he has learned to love people, to hold them specially in his heart and fight to the death for them. And all of them have known betrayal. Some more recently than others. They all were tentative to start... because they expected her to be the same, but the trust she put in them has redoubled in return."

Lucifer paused, stepping over a large, mossy gator as it grumbled at him. What a strangely pleasant clicking sound...

Oh. His eyes went round in delight as the creature swam away followed by, and swiftly covered in, a veritable army of tiny baby gators. "Bel, look, it's a mother..."

"Actually, the fathers usually carry the young about..." murmured a voice nearby, and he whirled about to find Alastor heedlessly slumped against a tree. Uncaring for the muddy mess that his clothing had become.

The scent of blood filled the air. "Was it waiting to turn you into a snack for the kids, then? What've you done, scratched your pretty face?" He sneered, and immediately regrets it. Why was he like this?

"Of course not, the small ones need something that's been rotting underwater for a few days their jaws aren't strong enough. Besides, there's a few carcasses that way that should be ripe... he was just saying hello."

"...have you been killing people here?"

"No one that didn't have it coming."

"What qualifies as having it coming?" Bel asks, sitting besides the sinner, and pressing in a little too close for his comfort. She blinks her eyes slowly, mesmerisingly, trying to stay awake as she extends just a little of her peace across to the other.

"Wouldn't take no as an answer..." Alastor mumbles vaguely, then snaps himself out of it and clearly contemplates shoving the sin.

"Did they try something?" Lucifer asked, frowning as he tasted the air with his sepentine tongue, feeling decaying sin a few meters hence.

"Yes. Nothing others haven't tried before... and they paid for it with their lives, and souls. I will make certain such attitudes are kept on a short leash in Hell, worry not."

"...did they hurt you?"

Alastor snorts. "No, but they certainly thought they could try... and I dislike that trait in human and demon alike. They will not know mercy... honestly I'd assumed they would have fallen through already, I killed them days ago, but their chains have yet to manifest. Such actions surely wouldn't be allowed upstairs, would they?"

"But I can taste blood on you...?"

"Then keep your tongue to yourself. Hah, the same thing I had to tell those ruffians the other day..."

Lucifer stepped around the tree, curious at the little gleam of white he saw tangled in the mud and plants a few feet away. He's less surprised than he might have been to locate a fractured, decayed skull.

"One of yours?"

"No... mine."

Lucifer's expression fell. "You were left to rot here? Didn't anyone look for-..."

"Drop it. The skull and the topic. I died whilst disposing of a body, no one would look for me, there was no one left to care." Alstor glares at Belphagor. "Can you STOP THAT, I dislike not being in charge of my own thoughts...?!"

"Please, just let me help you process this... it will help to close the door on these worries so that you don't have to revisit is over and over until the next session. It was unprofessional of me to force you to open this door here, and in front of Lucifer... it just felt like a good time."

"Once again, someone in power deciding what is best for those they see beneath them."

"Or... a professional who has spent millennia staring right through the masks others wear, king or overlord or sinner or hellborn. Your smile has always been a mask and a weapon, but I'm concerned that... it's no longer your choice. The same as how Lucifer is wearing that little outfit you mock so often as a means of clinging onto a safe time in his life. And before you load up an insult, we would swing back to your own attachment to the 1920s and 30s, the only time when you felt safe and valued by at least one person."

Bel tilted her head at the skull. "You came to your own grave... that takes a lot of effort, a lot of mental willpower, if you will."

"Death and the leavings of it never frightened me." he counters.

"No... but confirming that no one bothered to come find you does, doesn't it? How many families were made safe by the deaths you wrought? You have spoken about who you targeted after all... and the rudimentary means by which you bound them to yourself, to ensure they wouldn't be free to wreck havoc on afterlife if there was one. And not one of them searched. I can imagine that was disappointing."

Alastor started to laugh in a wildly unhinged way. "You haven't understood at all, have you? I wouldn't want anyone to find me, I was in multiple pieces strewn across this area, and then there were the gators. Do you think I would have been appeased if one of those I removed obstacles for was taken by a gator searching for a vessel I left behind? Nonsense. The gators allowed me to pass because I fed them and raised several of them..."

"And yet you sincerely believe you are not worthy of love."

"Uh Bel, I think he's going to find out if he can bite you now..."

She increases her influence until Alastor's eyelids droop to half-mast. "No, I've got it handled. I used to counsel Beezlebub when she was refusing to eat, remember? Used to it. Now Alastor, why did what Lucifer said upset you that much? He's made similar jabs before?"

"He's a hypocrite. The favoured son cast out and still trying to catch favour by capitulating to Heaven's whims. He can never understand what being born under hatred and scorn can do, how it shapes lives. He sees sinners as flawed by singular choices, and not understand how the way free will shaped the world was for good and bad to happen, but mostly a blurred intersection."

There was a pause. "Do you understand what it meant to be born half of something and claimed by neither side? To have an almost fanatically devoted love from your mother because no one else would care, and then have her taken away? Hmmm, I guess he would to some extent. Charlotte does. She's half, and not fully something to anyone. She just can't see the disdain in the eyes of others... enviable."

"...and?"

"Why must you always ask for more?"

"Because there's more to tell, isn't there? There's more than one way to wound a soul, and you are bleeding... figuratively and literally, and we'll get to that in a moment, everywhere."

"The world was segregated, all it took was an allegation and a person became a corpse in a tree, in an alley. And yet, no one turned that anger against the violent, the child seekers, the advantage-takers. Mimzy was quite helpful in distracting the latter.

She always asked why I never sought out companionship, she was always willing to teach, but I wasn't interested. It was a miracle no one decided to lobotomise me... you know they handled differences, the 'wrong preference' or seemingly no preference, with electricity and cold steel. Erasing free will entirely until you were but a body that could do as told."

"You are handsome... I'd assume this was a recurring issue, then?"

Alastor seemed to slump then, weighed down by the past. "Very few enjoyed rejection, and some I didn't even realise were seeking beyond friendship. I had hoped that in death the problem would be solved... but unfortunately, at least one person decided to take my friendship as a prelude to something else. Despite my best efforts to put him off the scent, as it were."

"Wait, the tv guy had the hots for you?" Lucifer frowned, trying to imagine how the fuck you would even go about kissing a tv screen. That snapped the moment entirely.

Alastor flinched back to full awareness, furious. "Are you done with this little voyeuristic show and tell? Did you enjoy forcing such things from me for your viewing pleasure?"

Bel took a chance and touched his arm. "No one is here but us, and the gators, and that one snake over there by Lu. No one is sharing this, this is for us. I'm sorry Lucifer is here too, I don't like this at all... but it's a place you felt able to share. With encouragement."

"Do you normally dose your patients to ensure compliance?"

"Not always... but it can help feel less under interrogation, and to feel like some of the choice to share difficult things was not fully on you. Did Vox ever... try anything?"

"He confessed, I turned him down. He tried his hypnosis, I broke his screen. His apology for it all involved a proposal to join the Vees and spiked brandy... he'd met the moth by then, and I refused anything to do with him on principle."

"And what do you remember?"

"I know he thought he could fix me... that I clearly was ust broken and needing his help, his hypnotic effect and the moth's psychoactive whatever it was im hoping spittle and not something else viscous... to break down my barriers long enough to do so. He wanted a love I didn't have for him... but he couldn't hold me, I fell into shadows and landed in Rosie's house. She was quite upset the minute she saw, and offered to go kill them that evening... we settled on having Susan lodge a complaint in person. She bent their antennae so badly they've never regenerated. An ornery bitch, but her affection is found in snarky comments and violent reprisal to damaging what is hers."

"Sounds familiar. Did Vox... touch you in any way?"

"He went straight for my tail and ears, the pervert. It left me time to formulate escape. I'd hoped that his failure would mean he'd leave me be... and yet, it seems to have made it worse. Vox is more powerful now, I have no doubt he intends to try to cure me again... but there is nothing wrong with me, and his insistence that romance and intercourse are imperative to an existence well lived is exhausting. He accused me of never loving him, or anyone."

"But romantic love isn't everything, is it? Even if it clogs the media and novels and the minds of the young. It's one form of love, the others are so intrinsic to existence that no one really thinks about them... except those who lacked them. The love of a parent, the lvoe of a friend, the love of a child, the love of family and community as a whole, the love of the self, the love of a mentor or mentee... there's so much out there outside of romance and lust."

"Exactly, and yet, if you are missing one or both... the world treats you as defective."

"And leaves you on guard, yes?"

"When every friendship must now be scrutinised for the exact moment when casual laughter and touch is being misinterpreted as something more and your 'sudden disinterest' is considered to be toying with them? Hah, of course. People must be at arm's length unless they can prove themselves willing to accept it, and not just as a covert means to fix you. Like Rosie... she has had more wives and husbands than any other sinner I've ever known, in the past five decades... and she was the first person to understand what I was, and explain it to me. She ripped Arnold's throat out when he dared comment on it in 43... we sauteed him in his least favourite wine, and served him cold."

"Ah, the proverb about revenge, yes?"

"Indeed."

"Well, it sounds like that makes it hard to trust anyone. Which might be why you didn't feel you could tell us about this injury of yours..."

"Hah, and let the little King peacock his victory at me once again? I know how disappointed he was when I reappeared after the battle. I know he would have preferred I bleed out somewhere far away from Charlotte and become a... well, I notice that the snake fellow got a portrait and the goat thing got a statue, but I didn't warrant a memorial."

"Charlie didn't want us to put something up for you, not like that... because for one, she had hope you'd be back after recovering, and two... because you hated having your picture taken or image recorded or something. She thought you'd hate it."

"I wouldn't have." It's said as if... he didn't know how to stop it. "It would have meant someone cared, at least, that I hadn't returned. I allow my likeness to be captured by the people who matter... Vox has a photo of us together, but I loathe it now. Ah, but what would you have said if you'd found my corpse in the old radio tower instead? Would you have gloated, little king? It was a close thing."

"...how bad is it?" Lucifer asked, coming closer slowly and watching Bel the whole time. If she made any gesture to stop or back off, he would, instantly. "Did one of the angels get you?"

A rumbling click announced the father gator arriving from the murk, and a flood of tiny infants swarmed towards him.

"Well-met again, Rodney... you are quite the doting parent for someone of your age..." Alastor murmurs, allowing a gator hatchling to climb his arm. "This little one is vivacious... ah, a girl I see... how do you feel about the name Charlene? It's always been quite a sensible one."

It grumbled and rumbled and clicked as if they were really conversing. The little gator hatchling had a single yellow scale atop her head that set her apart from the others, at first glance... and Rodney had a rather interesting gouge on his head. Like a bullet had knocked off scales there.

"Are you just fucking with me, now? There's no way you know that alligator, this is... this is like swampland disney princess nonsense." Lucifer blinks, wanting to pick up one of the ones swarming over his shoes but uncertain how to do it without being bitten. It wouldn't kill him but he might have to hurt the father (Rodney apparently) to free himself. And no one wants that.

"This is rodney, I hand-raised his father, or his father's father many years ago... when I was alive. They were all fed well on what scraps I could find and then on corpses. And when I discovered I could come back, I checked in on them... so yes, he does know me. And this little darling, whom I assume he doesn't mind me naming, is the strongest of the bunch... I shall watch her growth with interest. Would you like some blood, Charlene?"

He swiped some from his shirt and trickled it into the gator's mouth. "Good girl."

"Er... and would you say you did that with all the hatchlings you favoured over the years?" Lucifer asked, watching the distinct green flare in tiny Charlene's eyes and echoed in Rodney's.

"Of course..."

"Ah... you remember that demon blood can have changes on things in the mortal realm? You might have made them super intelligent and... based on the wound your friend has, a tad more resistant to harm than they should be."

"All the better. Do you want more, Charlene?"

"Okay, stop it, Heaven will personally skewer you... again... if they find out about a race of super gators luring people in with like, voices or whatever. We're still in trouble for the Not-Deer, which I'm pretty sure you are... so that's cross contamination or whatever."

"Not-gators? That could be quite delightful..."

Lucifer blinks, recalling something. "Wait, so is... the skeleton on your wall at the hotel, was it his grandfather?"

Alastor looks crestfallen a moment before the mask reasserts. "Why yes, his name was Antigonius, and it was disappointing to have lost him in the collapse of the original hotel. I found what I could of him though, Niffty has been helping."

"I can look... if you want? Can't believe I missed something with earth signature all over it so close by. That stuff's normally only in Lust cause those guys go to earth regularly and bring stuff back, clothes mostly."

"And of course those delightful little assassins in Pentagram City..." Alastor murmurs, rearranging himself so Charlene's siblings could clamber over him in curiousity. "Yes, you are all quite magnificent... I see you."

"Would you mind refocusing with me to your injury? How did that happen?" Bel asked, nearly startling the overlord whose mind had clearly blotted out the too-close humanoid sin.

"I'm managing it, don't worry about it."

"But the person who can do something about it is right here, Alastor... and he's already shown concern. Do you think you could trust us enough to talk about it, and decide if you want help after that?"

"...not particularly."

"Would it help if I... made it easier to talk about it?" Bel asked.

He doesn't reply verbally, but gave the most infintesimal nod ever. Belphegor allowed more of her influence to seep across the space between them. "Just relax into it... it should feel like a warm blanket you can choose to push aside at any time, it doesn't control you or remove your agency." she assured.

"It was from the extermination, I was on the roof... Charlotte asked me to use my shield to trap some of them in for easy slaughter and others outside. It took more energy than perhaps was wise given my powers are bound, but it was easy enough to do. Especially once the fallen fools outside dropped their weapons and the shield could form tendrils to flail the steel about."

"And then what happened?"

"The first fool got quite angry at the shield and smashed it with his guitar. He came straight towards me, and I did as I was asked, I toyed with him. He was so... sloppy. You could tell he didn't expect that he could feel pain, his fighting was... ridiculous. I definitely got overconfident."

"What went wrong?"

"It was fine until he recalled he had that fucking guitar thing... there's very few times I regret the deer form, but unfortunately when he swung it at me and it broke my microphone, the flash literally blinded me. Do get your laughter out, I've heard every imaginable statement about Deer in the Headlights..."

"That sounds frustrating, did you want to talk about other form-issues or continue the story?"

"Hah, to complain is pointless. We're stuck like this for eternity... it's not as if someone can remove the damn tail, or return colours. For one, I've torn the fucking thing out many times, and it just grows back, and my monocle compensates as best it can. No... it's just how it is."

"I actually can do something about the sight... I'm not tearing your tail off though, they're usually attached to the spine somehow and it will come back to bite you. Do you not get... colour?" Lucifer asked curious. He didn't deign deer.

"I would be worried about you changing how I am... how can I trust you would leave it at that? So many have tried to make me something they wanted from the minute I was born, and even in death I'm still a achallenge. My sight lost... certain colours, I can see yellows and greys and blue, but other colours are gone. I quite liked the colour red."

"...so you don't know how red your outfit is then, huh?"

"I... assumed. I can pick out different shades and the monocle compensates, as I said. But Rosie tailored it when we first met. I trust her judgement."

"And your other injury?" Bel prompts, sensing a full diversion to avoid the topic.

Alastor tickled several hatchlings under their scaly chins and they chirped in delight at him. "I was blinded, by the time the world refocused Adam had already swung back the other way and slammed me into the wall behind us. He aimed to finish off the matter, but my shadow decided to end the confrontation early."

"Where did you go?"

"My shadow returned us to the one place I had warded enough to be safe, my radio tower. It was quite damaged, but it did the job."

"Who did you want to keep out?"

"Everyone. But mostly Vox... he was watching the battle, his drones were everywhere. I knew he would arrive to gloat, or force compliance... and I had nothing left to fight him with. And I didn't need Charlotte to become distracted attempting to help... I knew she would be a target. She had to stay focused, for all her pacifistic nonsense."

"Did anyone come to help you? At the tower?"

"...no. I don't think so... there are gaps in my memory, but I stitched the mess together in time to hear someone singing about being remorseful for victory and assumed things had gone well. The Exorcists don't seem very vocally capable."

Luncifer pinched the bridge of his nonexistent nose. "So you've been running around with heavely grace festering in your chest for weeks now... no, months, the battle was..."

Time was a loose concept to an immortal.

"Five months and ten days ago, yes. It's healing, and no cause for alarm."

"But you clearly can't use all your powers..."

"HAH! I couldn't use all of them BEFORE I was hit, I-... fuck." He clearly hadn't meant to say that.

"You are in a deal with someone, that much we can both see. I suspect the energy is... known to us, the dealer's identity something we can intuit. But, that is for another time... would you consent to Lucifer healing the injury, and perhaps seeing if he can fix your sight? I will keep my power over you to track all the changes, to ensure nothing else occurs. If that makes you feel more secure?"

"...I don't know."

"Do you, perhaps, want to say yes but fear what might happen if you do and your trust is breached?"

Alastor snarls at her, feeling vulnerable and too visible even here in the safest place he had. "Maybe."

"Then... perhaps Lucifer will come over and heal you, and if you need him to stop, say so at any time. Okay? The choice is still yours, but you don't have to ask."

"...okay."

Lucifer crouched amongst the hatchlings and gestured to the shirt, "Can I see the injury please?"

A nod. He waves the shirt open, and grimacing. He doesn't comment, though, this was a fragile moment and he was going to do this for Charlotte... and for the weird gossamer thread of trust he had been extended by the sinner for this to happen.

Without comment, he dissolves the stitches and presses a hand to the wound, encouraging the angry sparks of divinity festering there to come forth and pool in his alternate palm. The wound starting to heal now the irritation was removed... Lucifer pulsed his own vitality into the area, flushing out any miniscule pieces remaining and rejuvenating the flesh.

As a last thought, he raced the bindings on the sinner's form, the pattern overlaid over the core soul, and plucked at the instructions inlaid over sight. Unlocking colours repressed in the base template.

Ah, words... humans had so many and yet none to help explain what he was doing right this very moment. How frustrating.

Alastor let out a soft gasp. "How green you are, little one..."

Lucifer pulled away, eyes watching the wound seal completely just to be sure. His attention turned to the grace. It swirled, nebulously.

"If you feel any further discomfort... say something, I think I got it all, but some of it was eating its way inside and I'd hate to have missed something." The King coughed. "Would you like me to... enchant this for you? I can give it a distinctive demonic energy as well, maybe make it into a ball of hellfire you can manifest between your antlers or something. Any exterminators would feel it as Grace immediately and the dissonance should disorient."

"You can do that?"

"Uh, hello... king of hell? I can do almost anything."

"Except bond with your daughter..."

"Alastor, that wasn't a kind thing to say. Lu just helped you."

"It is the truth, nonetheless. You cannot come at her as if she is a child anymore, Lucifer... the reason she listens to me is that I treat her like an adult. A young, painfully naive one... but an adult with her own agency nonetheless. You cannot try to tell her what she wants or needs."

"That was a helpful suggestion, Alastor. Thank you. Lucifer?"

"It... so she just wants me to be her dad? I've tried that."

"I think you need to think about how you interact with Charlie, Lu. Alastor gave you constructive criticism... think on it. It's a suggestion."

"Can we... think about it somewhere else? I can feel mud in places I don't think I've ever had mud before... well, since that one time with Lily... but now's not the time. Plus I need Al here to branch out his antlers for me, to put the hellfire there, and humans might not take kindly to walking in on that."

"Of course. Alastor, did you... want to do anything for your own remains?"

"...no. I was born here and I died here, I belong to the bayou."

"Very eloquently put. Would you be okay if I released my mesmer, or do you want it to stay until we're home?"

"You can release it, I'm not seeking to fight, I'm tired."

"Thank you for being honest, Alastor, I appreciate how difficult this is for you... Lucifer is the very same." Bel pulled her influence back and saw Alastor shake it off.

"Rodney, my good man, it was splendid to see you again but I really must be going... do take care of the brood, and little Charlene here, I shall be back to check in. Enjoy the rude fellows from last week, I did sprinkle them with a few of the spices you liked, I hope they don't give anyone indigestion..." Alastor addresses the gator, who rumbles and summons the infant hoarde to him. Charlene squeaks and leaves last, taking her place on her father's head as he submerges.

Alastor climbs to his feet and offers a hand to Bel.

"Time to return to somewhere just as warm but without the humidity, or the delightful ambiance. I shall miss this much green..."

"We can just change the hotel a bit to add green in somewhere. Char Char wants a garden but I think she'll be devastated the first time it rains..."

"Why not build a greenhouse and ward it against acid?"

"I have a thing about gardens... Eden, and all."

"Ah, well, I can construct one just not touch anything with my bare hands."

"Oh, wouldn't want you to soil your hands, oh mighty overlord..." Lucifer rolls his eyes.

"No you pomp-... no, I literally cannot touch flowering plants without killing them. See?" He presses a fingertip to a nearby weed, and the whole thing blackens rapidly, curling into itself.

"Oof, deathtouch... just plants though? Like, just flowers? That tree was fine, and I saw you touch grass once..."

"Ah yes, something you should do more of... touch grass."

"I can taste the insult but I'm not sure what it is exactly."

"Flowering plants, they die. Never tried with fruit trees, but no fruit has ever spoiled on me in the kitchen." Alastor shrugged, finding the seam between worlds that moved into His Bayou in his room.

Human disguises evaporated like steam.

"Alright, let's just remove the mud..." Lucifer flicks a finger lazily. "And now, put your big antler things out, so I can place it in the right spot. You want it green like your other power or red, like your outfit?"

"Red, would be ideal."

"So here's the part you won't like... either I can fly up or you can kneel, but it'll take a minute either way."

With a frustrated sigh, Alastor knelt without much fuss, tilting his antlers towards the King. Lucifer glanced at Bel because he'd thought there'd be more of a fight than this... but judiciously placed the glowing ball of hellfire amidst the antlers. He tethers it to the sinner's natural form and magical signature.

"You should be able to manifest and demanifest it now. Try it... I can always have another go if you need me to, haven't tried something like that in a while."

The antlers receeded and returned, as did the ball of hellfire.

"Excellent... this will make the next confrontation with another overlord particularly spectacular. Thank you... your majesty."

"I have a name, you can use it."

"If I must... Lucifer."

"Good, thanks Alabastor." He laughs as a poppet is launched at his face with the precision of a curveball. It bounces off harmlessly and toddles back to Alastor. "Fine, fine... just, we gotta talk coparenting about Charlie. but later... and the deal thing... we can do that another time."

"Of course... let us see if there's some form of meal or fare available. I can' hear the fire alarms, so it musn't be Charlotte or Vagatha's turn to cook. That must be a good sign."

"Is that something you can help with, Bel? Inability to cook?"

"Sadly, no. Bee might, though. Or Ozzie, he's very good at cooking. And respecting boudaries..." she flickered her eyes to Alastor, who appeared tense at the idea of the sin of lust being in the hotel. "Ozzie is all about consent, I think the only reason this Valentino fellow is alive is because he doesn't know about him... but that will change."

Her phone was going ballistic.

"Bel... did you mentioned something to Ozzie in the sin group chat?"

"Perhaps. He's not pleased to find out about Love Potion calls it Artificial Bullshit."

"Okay... we've got, what? An hour? Two, tops before he gets here?"

"Try 45 seconds, if the rumbling is any indication, your m-... Lucifer."

"Ah, fuck. Well, I need to make a show of asking him not to... you want me to point out he might as well kill the other Vees while he's about it? "

"...I rather want to rrip the cords out of Vox's ridiculous head with my bare hands, where possible, but if they had their tower decimated and the moth killed, I would not stand in the way. If he must be a casualty, so be it." Alastor shrugged.

Lucifer paused at the top of the stairs. "And if... he was to every try something again, say something. We'd help you. Also... it might take some practice but you know the hellfire is an offensive weapon as much as a decorative feature for menacing, right? You can kind of use it as a destructive ray once you practice it. Looks super cool and the only one who can put it out is a hellfire caster... so don't do it near Charlie or she might take pity on him without the context."

Alastor looked like he'd been handed the greatest gift in the world.

"That... is simply delectable. I can't wait to try this out."

"WHERE IS THIS PIECE OF ABSOLUTE GARBAGE AND HIS FALSE LOVE?! BRING HIM TO ME!"

"Ah, that would be Lord Asmodeus, I assume?"

"Shit, yep, yeah, yup that's him... let's go head him off, Bel."

"Well, quite the therapeutic field trip we have planned, then." Belphagor laughed, growing as they descended the stairs.

Lucifer's wings errupted, flexing slightly because he'd had them cooped up a while. "Let's make it a team thing, you coming al?"

"I suspect we already spoke about me not generally c-..."

Lucifer snorted. "Hokay, stop, you make a sex joke like the spider and I might fall down the stairs laughing. I need to have my king face on now. So c'mon... if you get all BIG you'll be the same size. And... imagine Box's face when he sees you converging on his tower with three whole sins, he'll download in his pants."

That got him. The grin was almost impossible with how delightedly severe it was. "Oh, you do say the sweetest things, little king... I can't wait to see how the little fools response."

"Dad, Aunty Bel, Al! There you are, did you see Uncle Ozzie is out there going-..."

"We've got this Char Char... stay inside. He found out about the moth, that's all."

Once outside, Bel and Al began to expand as Lucifer's horns grew in.

"Hey, can I ride on your shoulder, Al? Think it might send a fascinating message to your... former friend."

The oversized overlord thought about it momentarily, and nodded.

---------

When Vox looked out the penthouse window of Vee Tower, he did indeed nearly datadump in his tailored slacks. Because the sight of two gigantic sins, one overlord form Alastor and the King of Hell himself n full demon form riding on Al's shoulder, was eenough to make him blue screen.

"VAL, WHAT DID YOU DO?!" He yells down the hallway.

"Who or what didn't I do today, Voxxy, it's been a long hard da-... what the fuck is that?"

Luckily, they didn't have much time to ponder... because it was upon them rapidly.

-------------

Etc.

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

Headcanon - Human Overlords

Really need to flesh this out, have so many ideas which way it could go.

-----------

Something something magic something overlords are forcibly reverted to human and suddenly have targets on their backs. 

More than a few people want the chance to usurp their overlords and break the chains on their necks.

A few centuries in hell have given them abilities, of course, and some had physical prowess beforehand in hand to hand or weaponry… but when their access to demonic powers is severed, what chance do they have?

If they could stop the infighting and posturing for half a fucking second, of course.

Valentino, tall even as a human, tried to tower over people who were now within at least half a foot of him rather than waist/chest height. It didn't work as well as he'd hoped, and Alastor personally found it hilarious. Perhaps it was the attire that made it hard to take the former moth seriously?

“And if those fuckers break down the door, get inside, then what are you going to do, talk ‘em to death?” Val sneers right into the too-calm face.

“Hah, well no. Not exactly. However, if I am given access to any kind of weaponry, if dear Charlotte would stop being so panicked about human fragility, I can demonstrate my former alternate profession to you. Perhaps on your foul self, you seem fantastically expendable.”

“Oh go fuck yourself you frigid prick! Voxxy, what did you ever see in this little cappucino bastard? Granted he's pretty on the eyes, but he's rancid to the core-...”

Something sharp passes in the deep brown eyes, and a previously concealed blade slams deep into Valentino’s left shoulder as the slightly shorter man pivots and slams Val to the floor, pinning him effortlessly to allow greater opportunity to twist the blade.

It was a blink and you'll miss it moment. To the shock of many present, and the loud swearing of one overlord. 

“You seem awfully confident that your silly little act will keep everyone at bay, Valentino, but even you have to sleep sometime. And you are not even in the weight class of the most challenging persons I took down. But you certainly have their bluster..."

Vox pinched at the bridge of his nose, delighted at having one to pinch, and wondering how best to keep the idiot alive. He was also willing his arousal to stay down because it really wasn't that hot to see Al pinning Val and...

Ah fuck. He clears his throat.

“Val, please don’t taunt the most prolific serial killer of our century…”

“The WHAT?”

“It was hardly a secret, dear, do keep up.” Alastor grinned, the smile still sharp despite regular human teeth lining the gums. It was somewhat unnerving.

Vox remembered looking up everything on alastor when they’d been friends, when Al had trusted him with tidbits from his past. You didn’t want that level of cold, smiling anger aimed at you.

“Babydoll, cancel his ass on Vitter or something, avenge me!” Valentino whines at Velvette, who rolls her eyes and yanks the blade out.

Also to the shouts of many (mostly Charlie and Vaggie) who know basic first aid is to leave the blade in until someone can get medical support…

Angel tries not to laugh as the other pales, fingernails scrabbling on the floorboards. This whole situation is fucking weird, and he's not complaining about the eye candy or the time off from the studio but... this, was a memory going to live in his head rent-free for eternity.

He's going to title it 'Radio Demon penetrates Valentino until he screams' in his mental theatre, mostly becuase it would piss off both currently human overlords if they ever heard tell of it.

“Oi, stop whinging, it’s not life threatening.” Vel huffs, but is clearly oulling up a how-to guide on managing stabbing victims on her phone. She's ,ostly annoyed about not being able to pull it up with a thought, having to (ugh) type like some peasant...

Carmilla is agitated, primarily concerned around the safety of her daughters now that she and all the overlords who would normally be a protective factor against anyone trying something, were bound human.

Zestial was the most impacted, he had almost forgotten his human face at this point, having been from a time long ago. Human frailty was almost entirely alien to him now, and wildly disorienting.

Zeezi has to now revert her mental map of her body to something human sized, after pretty much just getting a handle on her dinoform in the last decade. It was a big change the first time, and now… ugh. 

Overtime, their death marks start to glow, and then slowly, horrifically, the injuries or symptoms begin to come on. A headache here, a persistent twitching of an arm there, etc.

By the time they realise, it’s almost too late to save them.

Not to mention the attacks from their thralls and the general public alike.

Lucifer is annoyed to be asked to help, but when Charlie asks for something… he’ll do it. Besides… it actually made some of the others closer to his height, say… six foot not over seven, so it’s not as much of a nightmare.

More importantly, he's using his powers to shield the suddenly human beings from angelic eyes, because Heaven would be right on up their asses like a rat up a drainpipe if they caught wind of this.

Over time, the other side effect is that the memories of living in hell are being suppressed. They react oddly to the demons in the hotel, sometimes with fear or fury, sometimes with violence, and othertimes... as if they didn't see them at all.

It was strange... and worrying.

Trying to keep them all from killing one another is also difficult.

And, let's be real... the chance to knock about an overlord 'accidentally' was something that Angel and Husk wouldn't admit to enjoying. Even Lucifer found a reason to knock Al into a wall with his wings and feign ignorance...

Except, these aren't sinners. A shove ddown the stairs has major consequences, backhanding someone caused major bruising when it's demon on human, and someone's ribs snap if they're slammed too hard into a wall.

That... takes the fun out of it. The consequences feeling off...

Husk thought he'd enjoy seeing Alastor's face marred with claw marks, but it just kinda... made him sad, especially when there was a moment the overlord's eyes went unfocused and he murmured something in frnech before blinking furiously back to the present. The grin returned, and Alastor invited Husker to do it again, maybe something more violent, really get his revenge...

But... the bartender just couldn't fucking do it.

And Valentino? He wasn't surprised the night Angel stormed into the guest room he was provided, snarling but resigned... waiting to be forced. And perplexed when Angel merely grabbed him with all his many hands and shook him, snarling that he would never be like Val. That even when the power was in his court, he would never... could never...

and hurled the human back on the bed, hard enough to sprain his wrist on impact, but nothing more as he stalked out.

As if he wanted to prove to himself that Angel could never be that way. He felt vindicated and sick, but he knew now.

Vaggie hovered around Carmilla until the woman finally addressed the matter. She spars with Vaggie, andd despite the disparity in strength, her ability and agility made up for it.

Charlie was BESIDE herself about this. Also the rampant attempted murder. How did this happen? How did they make it stop?

Why would ANYONE do this?

Lucifer had to ask Asmodeus to borrow some of his workers with their crystals, to check in on the graves of the overlords, only to find they were all disturbed. Someone had their bones.

But WHY?

For what end?

And that's when they started getting sick, getting tired, getting vague... when they started to bleed through their clothes from wounds that would disappear as swiftly as they appeared.

It was alarming.

This was a lot of effort for, as Lucifer put it, just a bunch of self important sinners. There had to be something else at play. A misdirection perhaps?

[Flesh out]

no real plan with this, just a vision of like, constantly stopping different overlords from trying to kill one another, and the violent nightmare that would be... before things go Very Wrong

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

Headcanon - Niffty held to Ransom

-----------

Niffty is taken by the Vees, in a post extermination bid to extort the Radio Demon publicly. Every audio-capable item in all of hell is just about annihilated with the howling explosion of sound that comes in response.

Husk is the one to grab at Al’s arm before the demon storms out to wage war, and manages to pull him back. Get him to think for a minute… yes, this was a sneaky tactic to incite him into starting the conflict, but… he didn’t have to go 1 vs 3.

Alastor stills, frighteningly so. Something in the glare passing between the sinners seems to… say something. Suddenly Alastor flicks out his left hand, manifesting the chain and twining it about the wrist there. 

Angel shouts, lurching forwards, but Husk isn’t responding with anger or horror. He’s almost grinning. 

Alastor raises his other hand, claws extended, and slashes down through the mass of chains and flesh of his left arm. Blood sprays up over the chains, Husk’s face and the collar… which shatter. [Get more creatively descriptive here etc. Explosion of power, a deal broken by the dealer is rare and chaotic.]

Husk’s power siphons back, and he can easily conjure his staff as a golden glow imbues around the restored overlord. Etc.

“Hmmm, one might say it’s only fair…” Alastor adds, and a few wisps of power transfer over in a shrieking mess from the bloody gashes down his arm, sinking into Husk. “I did promise some of my own power in our original deal.”

“Yeah, you did… so how about you let me get that for you.” He grins back, brilliant yellow light washes over the injury, patching it easily. “Gonna need both hands functional if you wanna rip the Vees apart as violently as I do. That girl might be fucking terrifying, but she grows on ya… and I don’t like that she’s within a few inches of that moth fucker, let alone the others.” 

Husk twirls his cane, the action natural even after all these decades, as the intensity of the emotions begin to build again. He and Al striding towards the door and barely holding onto a form small enough for inside use… 

Charlie blocks the door.

“Look, I know that the Vees are doing this whole calling out thing through the television and it’s not good, but you can’t just go destroy the city to get Niffty back. We can find a new way, a better one!”

“Charlotte… move.”

“Princess, this is… this is overlord business. You can’t be seen getting involved… and they all out declared war with that little stunt. I can get away with intervening because I've been under Al’s banner for so long that they’d expect it… but if you turn up, they’ll pull a hissy fit about royalty favouring the radio demon over them and some bullshit like that. Its political all the way down. So just move aside and let us go get our weird little lady back…”

The pair explode outside, and expand in form, describe etc.

Wading through the city and enjoying the mindless destruction they cause, eyes pinned on the Vee Tower. Where three large forms then appear. Velvette having Niffty spun tightly into a web of sharp filaments, to dangle…

Epic battle, snarky back and forths, etc.

They do win, but barely. Husk is delighted to kill Valentino with his bare hands, and Alastor eats Vox’s heart before the overlord’s screen shuts off… but Velvette, well, there was something about her that just didn’t sit right with them about mindlessly devouring. She was still somewhat new to hell, and the Vees had gotten to her immediately… maybe she could be changed for the better?

Ugh, Charlie’s nonsense was working on them.

And then there’s Rosie. Always excellent at sensing an issue, in full Overlord form and cheerful as she squares up to the little Overlord, (epic fight scene, end with her solidly beating the Doll and tasting her blood). “Hmmm, she was right Alastor dear, I could very well eat her for breakfast. Hah!” she recalls their first meeting with the little fashionista so clearly.

Niffty freed, checked on, she’s okay but actually frightened. 

They’re so preoccupied in the whole mess that it takes a long moment before the new souls they acquired register. Husk’s eyes widen. “No fuckin’ way…”

A bloody, triumphant and somewhat battered mess, they shrink down to regular size and shadow travel to the Hotel porch. 

“Hmmm, on a scale of one to ten…”

“Fifty.”

“Well that’s not ideal, is it sugar?”

Charlie is horrified at the violence, happy they’re okay, angry at the whole thing, and squeezing niffty so hard the maid's head might just pop off. Vaggie is furious and pleased… she’d wanted to do in Val for licking Charlie that one time… (and also what he did to Angel, but you can't go letting people know you care or they start wanting to be friendly and ugh).

Husk takes Angel aside and hands him his contract, letting the sinner tear it to shreds himself. He admits not really having any idea what to do with Val’s whole… enterprise, but maybe Angel might be a far more compassionate captain at the wheel, if he wants a job.

If, and its a big if, the Vees do reform at some point… they were bound to their conquerors, and Husk would make damn sure Val never went near Angel or the others the fucker hurt, again.  Things would change.

Alastor was also revolted with his acquisitions… technologically based as they were. Disgusting.

Only Rosie was delighted, as she was a fashionista at heart and did quite the good trade in boutique attire on the regular… 

Still, they were dripping blood and gore on the rug, for which they were told off. Sternly.

Time to come to terms with it or whatevs.

Two overlords vouching for the hotel, the vees powered down and competent assistancts taking over the companies for their new bosses… etc.

Maybe something about finding out where the old overlords ended up, reintegrating by forcing them into the hotel or something.

Lucifer is horrified to find all of his ad searches and commercials are now parenting courses, and doesn’t find out why for weeks. “Are you a depressed monarch who couldn’t parent to save his daughter’s life? Well, give us a call today!” 

“Who the FUCK is making these ads?!”

“Hah, well Dad… funny story but-...”

the King loses. his. tiny. mind.

+fit in the post adam harm and broken cane somewhere.

Flesh out better.