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itshardcandy · 5 years ago

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Strawberry Flavor - Part 1

Pairing: Kim Seokjin x Reader, Min Yoongi x Reader, Park Jimin x Reader

8789 Words

Genre: Fluff, Idiots Friends to lovers, crack

Warnings: None except some super light swearing, an unhealthy obsession for Jimin’s cakes ( I think i might have a problem idk ) and some light flirting ( I tried to create some mild tension at the end... not sure I did it right )

Summary: What’s a girl to do when her handsome colleague, her sweet business partner and her mysterious, piano playing friend compete for 1st place on the list of her favourite people?

Heavily inspired by the “Another Story” individual stories in the BTS World game but with a twist. The final pairing isn’t fully decided, yet, so if you have some input or some suggestions or just a burning desire for me to twist the story into a certain direction please let me know and maybe we can work something out ;)

IPlease don’t hesitate to give feedback and like & reblog if you enjoyed <3

______

“Strawberry Flavor! Strawberry Flavor, where are you?”

Hotel-service intern Kim Seokjin rushed into the kitchen of the hotel restaurant to find you, his colleague and only friend in this hell of an establishment,

“Yah, Strawberry Flavor! This is important, where are you?”

He knew the kitchen area would be empty at this time, save for you. Most of your colleagues had already clocked out for the night but you usually stayed longer to wait for Seokjin to finish his shift as well. Which is why he busted through the doors of the locker room, guns blazing, to find you already waiting for him and packing your things,

“Ah, there you are! Didn’t you hear me?”

Accusingly, he thrust his hands in your direction, which were full of laundry items. You turned around, wide-eyed and flabbergasted at Seokjin’s dramatic entrance in the break room,

“Kim Seokjin, I swear on all that’s holy in this world, one of these days I will bash your head in with a frying pan, if you yell at me like that again!”

You pointed at his smug face and tried to look like you actually meant it,

“I could have been changing in here, you punk! Don’t you have any manners? Jeez, you give a guy leftover chicken and suddenly he thinks he owns the place…”,

Jin took a moment to process your words before he smiled at you and rolled his eyes,

“Ah, Strawberry Flavor, I’m sorry, I’m just so excited! You said there’s more leftover chicken again today, what am I supposed to do? Stay calm?”

You didn’t actually mean anything you said, of course, you adored your tall, handsome and broad-shouldered colleague and were glad that you had become friends. Or so he liked to think, at least,

“Yes! That is absolutely what you are supposed to do!”

You tried to answer without a smile creeping on your face but seeing Jin just did that to people. He was handsome, sure, but his face, when he got a little worked up over something, was one the funniest things known to mankind,

“You know I can’t be held responsible for my actions when chicken is involved…”

He dropped his gaze and kicked at imaginary dirt on the ground. You took a deep breath and remembered that Seokjin was essentially an overgrown child with an even more overgrown appetite,

“I saved it for you, no one’s going to steal it”

You said and Jin huffed, pouting at you,

“Ok…”

You noticed the laundry in his hands just now,

“Did Areum give you more laundry, again?”

You asked as you pointed at the various blankets and stuffed animals he was carrying,

“She said she wants them dry cleaned by tomorrow morning. How am I supposed to do that? Everyone already left…”

He explained and you sighed. That girl knew how to keep him on his toes,

“Well, you just have to come in early tomorrow and beg the guys from laundry to run an express load”

You checked the contents of your purse, before turning back to Seokjin again,

“Hm, you’re right. I should drop this in the laundry bins, right? Be right back!”

He mumbled and turned on his heels to leave,

“Can you heat the chicken up for me, please? Thank you”

You heard him say as the doors closed behind him. You shook your head and let out a long breath,

“This guy really has no shame”

You said to yourself as you grabbed your things and went to work on the chicken for Jin, so you both could finally leave, as soon as he got back.

------

As you walked along the beach promenade, a Tupperware in hand containing Jin’s chicken, you listened to him munch on a piece of it while he tried to recount all events of the day to you. Apparently, the lady, who had been staying in 306 for the last week, wasn’t as sweet as you thought. Jin told you about this morning, when he went to bring her breakfast to her room and she pinched his butt while he was on the way out. His eyes almost bulged out of his head, he was so invested in his own story,

“And then she said the bacon looks good this morning! The bacon, Strawberry Flavor! As in MY bacon! Can you believe?!”

Were he not so busy to stuff his mouth full of the wings you had saved for him, he would have ranted on about it for hours,

“No, Jin, I can’t, in fact, believe”,

“I know it looks good, I have eyes, after all, but just pinching my bacon like it was a cheap side dish…”

“Absolutely outrageous”

You commented while typing away on your phone. You knew by now that you just needed to pay attention at the right moment to appease Jin’s ego,

“Exactly!”

He flung his hand around and looked like he tried to fight someone with the chicken leg, that he was currently holding,

“Did you say anything to her? Or did you just do that creepy customer-service fake smile”

You asked, already knowing that, even if Jin talked a big game now, he probably just squeaked like a squirrel when the thirsty grandma felt him up and looked like a deer caught in the headlights when she shut the door in his face. Deep down, he probably enjoyed the attention, though,

“No, I didn’t. can’t risk an additional complaint from any of the guests with all the negative points I keep scoring with Areum…”

He mumbled and his puffed chest deflated a bit at that,

“Ah Seokjin, don’t worry! I’m sure Areum will see soon how much effort you put into everything she makes you do!”

You patted his shoulder reassuringly and handed him a tissue to wipe the spicy chicken sauce off his face,

“Thanks, Strawberry Flavor, you always know what to say…”

Unbeknownst to you, Jin was thankful for more than just your kind words and company today. He was thankful for a lot more when it came to you and the chicken was only the cherry on top of the biggest, most delicious scoop of heart-shaped ice cream, he had ever imagined in his life.

When you two met on the day you were examined as a potential addition to the kitchen staff at the hotel, he didn’t think you’d become such an integral part of his life but he’s certainly thankful things played out the way they did. Even though he wishes he was brave enough to ask you for more, he is content to just be the best friend to you, that he could be. You deserved it. If not for you, he would have been kicked out of the hotel multiple times already because he just kept messing up so much. Most of the kitchen staff still avoided him because of the wedding cake incident a few months back. He cringed inwardly; it had not been pretty,

“And even if she doesn’t and tells Manager about all your shortcomings and he kicks you out, you can count on me to save you chicken from time to time!”

He almost chokes on said chicken when he has to laugh at your poor attempt to lighten the mood,

“Jin, you need to swallow!”

He could only laugh harder and it made you smile,

“Yah! Stop laughing! You’re gonna choke! I don’t know any first aid…”

You clapped him on the back and he slowly calmed down, still cackling like a little kid. You wanted to see him laugh like this more often, lately, because interning at the hotel wasn’t working out so well for him. He had a lot of difficulties with the service and it didn’t help that he was assigned as Areum’s caretaker during the time she would be staying at the hotel. That little girl… you knew she was only 7 but she drove you up the wall sometimes. Especially when she scolded Jin for all the things he did wrong, which was a regular occurrence,

“I’m fine, I’m fine, do you have any more tissues, though?”

Jin asked and you dug around your purse until you found one. He coughed roughly and then took a deep breath,

“Phew… Let’s just hope Manager keeps me around a little longer, yeah?”

He smiled at you and you nodded,

“He has to, or I’m going on strike. See how he handles the rioting guests when there are no more Special Strawberry Flavor Pancakes around!”

Jin puts his arm around your shoulder and hugs you to his side a little awkwardly,

“Ahh, don’t do that, you’ll be fired, too! And then who will be my chicken hero?”

You cough out an awkward laugh at the physical contact and quickly try to get your bearings back,

“Ok, ok… I won’t go on strike”

“And I’ll figure something out with Areum… she’s just a kid, how hard could it be to find something she likes to do? Do you think maybe I should try bribing her with candy?”

You opened your mouth to answer when a familiar voice interrupted you,

“Hey Rice Cake, I’m over here!”

It was your roommate Park Jimin; passionate dancer and number 1 rice cake enthusiast. He was waiting for you at the bus stop like he usually did to pick you up after work. He insisted on doing so, even if he had to take a few extra buses after dance practice to get here.

You happily waved at him and turned to Jin to say goodbye for tonight,

“There’s my ride. Well, my companion for the bus ride, anyway… You should probably come up with something more creative than bribing a little girl with candy, though, ok? I’ll see you tomorrow! Good night!”,

“Yeah, ok… Good night, Strawberry Flavor”

He smiled and waved half-heartedly after you already turned around and walked towards your friend. Park Jimin seemed like a good guy, as far as he could tell; he obviously cared about you enough to go out of his way to get you home safe and in Jin’s books that was the least you deserved. Still, he would rather he was the one to accompany you on your way home.

_________

As Jimin watched you say goodbye to your colleague he briefly wondered why you still let him be the one to take you home when there was this tall, good-looking man in your life, who, clearly, was head over heels for you. He had known the minute he met Kim Seokjin for the first time a few months ago, that the handsome hotelier had the hots on for you. He couldn’t fault the guy, though; he knew first-hand the power your pretty smile and beautiful personality held. If Jimin didn’t feel so insecure and small in the presence of the other man, maybe they could have become friends but all Jimin could see, was a really tall, handsome and impressively built obstacle in the way of his plan to get you to be his girl when he looked at Kim Seokjin.

Jimin loses his self-deprecating train of thought pretty quickly though, when you enter his personal space and hug his arm to your chest,

“Jiminahh, I had such a good day! I can’t wait to tell you all about it”

You smiled at him and for a few precious moments he just felt lucky to have you in his life at all. Kim Seokjin and his good looks be damned. He reached for your hand and took your bag to carry it for you. He knows you would never admit it, because you’re a strong, independent woman, who don’t need no man but you secretly loved that he did all these little things to make your life a little easier. Even if it was just carrying a bag, that, quote unquote: wasn’t even really that heavy,

“Yeah? Tell me about it”

He smiled down at you, as you both went to sit down on the bench and waited for the bus to arrive and take you home,

“It was my turn to decorate all the little pastries and cakes today! Well… after I fried a shit ton of chicken for the buffet in the conference room”

You answered and Jimin smiled to himself. Decorating cakes was one of your favourite things to do, even when you helped him out in your spare time in the little rice-cake shop he inherited from his late grandmother. He was quite good at it himself, too, having watched his grandma make and decorate rice cakes with a burning passion for years, but he let you do it whenever possible, just so he could watch your face scrunch up cutely in concentration when you bent over the sweet little treats and painted fantastic floral works of art on them,

“Sounds like you had a lot of fun today”

He commented and you nodded,

“I did. And Manager even said I did good today, so that was worth all the hours I spent covered in chicken grease afterwards”

You stifled a yawn after you said that and Jimin laughed quietly. You did actually smell faintly of fried chicken but honestly? That was just a bonus because you looked like a snack already.

Just as he was about to comment on your fried chicken smell, the bus rolled into the station and you took your seats and fell into a comfortable silence for the duration of the ride. It wasn’t too long of a way home but it was enough for you take a quick nap on your friend’s shoulder, before he gently shook you awake again, to signal the imminent arrival of the bus at your station. You followed Jimin outside and as the bus rode on peacefully, you walked the rest of the way towards the rice cake shop and the apartment you shared upstairs.

You felt thankful for it every time you set foot in your shared home because it had been the first good thing to happen to you in a long while. Starting off as Granny Park’s apprentice in the rice cake business, you first met Jimin as he was about to head out and handle some deliveries for the day. He was shy at first but quickly warmed up to you when he noticed how seriously you took your work and how respectful and hard-working you were with his grandmother. Granny Park taught you and her grandson how to make the most delicious little cakes and she had even let you live in the spare room in the apartment she shared with Jimin. She had given you so much and you were determined to prove worthy of her trust. Sadly, not long after she had taken you in and you and Jimin became close friends, she passed away and left you and her grandson to continue to run the shop. You and Jimin had made some significant changes to the way the shop operated and now, it ran more profitable than ever before. You hoped Jimin could see how happy and grateful you still were now, months later.

Jimin dropped your bag in your room and you took a few minutes for yourself to change into more comfortable clothing and wash up. Even though you got to do something fun at work today, doesn’t mean you weren’t exhausted and ready to drop dead on the bed. You took your phone out of your bag and swan dived onto the sheets. A few notifications were waiting for you, including a few texts from Jin and Yoongi, another friend of yours. Apparently Jin had finished all the chicken before he arrived home, which was a new record for him and he had sent you a selfie of him and the empty Tupperware to prove it. You snickered and replied with a few thumbs up.

[You 20:34]: Glad u liked it! U know I never met anyone with such an unhealthy love for chicken, right?

[SeokJerk 20:35]: Ha… then stop feeding my addiction! Shaming me while enabling me… smh

[You 20:36]: Ugh why am I friends with u…

Jin sent an angel emoji and you decided that was enough Jin for today and then switched to Yoongi’s chat. It was just a series of pictures of a few different outfits and a question mark at the end. He was a man of few words. You knew Yoongi had an important gig coming up and he desperately needed your input, so it didn’t surprise you that he didn’t send an entire paragraph voicing his concerns about the wrong choice of attire. You answered with number 3 and a few flame emojis and heart eyes. Going for the fancy choice while also maintaining his casual style seemed like the best way to go. He replied a few seconds later with a thumbs up. Just as you were about to put down the phone, it dinged with another text from your roommate. Why he didn’t just knock and ask whatever it was he wanted, you didn’t know. He was probably being lazy like you right now.

[Mochi 20:46]: u still up? Netflix? Or u too tired?

You debated that for a second; it was only 9 pm, you could probably remain conscious for another 2 hours or so. Even though you had to pass by the hotel to meet Jin for lunch, you could sleep in.

[You 20:48]: Sure, u gotta come here tho bc I’m not moving

2 minutes later your door creaked as Jimin opened it and walked in the room with his laptop balanced on his arm,

“I picked something good this time, I swear”

He did, in fact, not pick something good.

________

When you woke up the next morning, Jimin was already out and about, busy bee that he is. You didn’t have to worry about getting ready just yet, since you didn’t have to meet Jin for another few hours, so you enjoyed the feeling of your soft and warm sheets for a few more minutes and played around on your phone until there was nothing left to do but get up.

Should you have breakfast? A question you asked yourself every day, regardless of the fact that the answer was always no. So, you skipped the trip to the kitchen for now and jumped in the shower straight away.

You should take care of some boring chores and house work today, as well, preferably before you met Jin.

The rice cake shop was closed for today so you didn’t have to worry about the mess downstairs for now. Maybe Jimin had left out some treats for you to take with you. You would go through the shop and check when you left.

___________

“Yah, Seokjin! Stop hoarding the sauce!”

You snatched the little bowl from under his nose while he was distracted and finally, you could dip your food into the spicy goodness,

“Leave some in there for other people”

You added and Jin tried to act like he didn’t know you were chastising him, of all people. It was no use anyway, so you changed the topic,

“Did you get Areum’s laundry done on time?”

Seokjin nodded his head, while chewing on a spoonful of rice,

“Luckily, yes. I owe the guys from laundry big time”

He swallowed the rice and took a deep, sobering breath,

“Don’t know what she would have done, if I didn’t show up with her favourite blanket, this morning…”

He visibly shuddered at the thought and you also felt an unpleasant tingle slide down the length of your spine,

“Let’s just be thankful you’re still in one piece, hm?”

You smiled sweetly at him and Jin briefly forgot what had him so shook just seconds ago. He watched you eat some grilled vegetables for a few moments until he snapped out of his reverie,

“Thank you for meeting me for lunch, Strawberry Flavor, it would have been so boring alone…”,

“You mean there would have been less food for you to devour”

You snickered to yourself and Jin huffed,

“Don’t make me look so bad, you brat! I’m still older than you, show some respect!”

He couldn’t help but smile at how, even he, couldn’t take himself seriously. You started laughing and had to put down the food you were about to put in your mouth,

“Alright, alright, I’m so sorry, Seokjin-Oppa… I promise I’ll be a good girl from now on, ok?”

You dragged out his name and your lips formed the most adorable little pout. Although he knew you were teasing him just now, Jin felt warmth flood his cheeks and he cleared his throat,

“Ah… yes… don’t worry about it, Strawberry Flavor”

He tried to sound casual but his voice betrayed him. Alas, he was but a man, sat in front of the prettiest woman he knew, trying not to look like the complete simp he was for you. A few moments of food-related silence ensured until you put down your bowl,

“I almost forgot, I brought these for you”

You suddenly started digging around in your purse and produced a little package wrapped in simple brown paper,

“These are from a batch Jimin and I made last night. They didn’t come out shaped as nicely as usual but I thought you wouldn’t mind having them, since we can’t sell them like this”

You held the package out to him and he put down his chopsticks to receive it,

“Seriously? You didn’t have to!”

He stumbled over his own words because he felt a little touched. You thought to bring him some of your lovely rice cakes? He unwrapped the package and found a colourful assortment of sweet rice treats in the paper,

He slapped a hand over his face in a theatrical way,

“Ahh, I can’t look at them for too long, they are so pretty! Strawberry Flavor, what are you doing to me…?”

You giggled happily like a little kid when you saw his reaction to the cakes and he had to smile,

“You have to look, though, if you want to eat them!”

You tried to gently lift his hand from his eyes,

“It’s too dangerous, I’ll go blind…”

He loved making you laugh, so he would ride this wave as long as you would let him,

“So, you’re never gonna look at my cakes again?”

Well. Not that he would mind looking at your cakes once in a while, he just felt really inappropriate doing so. Or were you talking about the rice cakes? Probably the more likely option…

“Don’t sound so disappointed”

He lifted his hand and put the cakes down on the table in front of him,

“What if I feed you one? You won’t have to look then”

“Ah, Strawberry Flavor, you’re so smart! I never would have thought of that”

You rolled your eyes at him but still you smiled. You picked up your chopsticks, lifted a rice cake from the package and held it to Jin’s lips. He slowly opened up and let you place the small treat inside his mouth.

You stared at him expectantly, eyes wide,

“Good?”

You asked and, even if the cakes didn’t taste as amazing and sweet as they did, Jin would have told you they were the most delicious thing he’s ever tasted. He closed his eyes and savoured the taste before he answered:

“They are amazing”

Your lips spread into a shy smile,

“Really?”

“Really”

“Maybe you can share them with the laundry staff as a thank you?”

You suggested and Jin’s eyes went wide in disbelief,

“Are you kidding? I may owe them but I don’t owe them enough for that”,

“You are impossible”,

“Impossible to please, yes, but these are pretty close to perfection”

He grinned and you tried to hide your smile,

“Now give me one more”

He opened his mouth and waited for you to feed him another rice cake. It really was the simple things in life, huh?

_________

Over the course of the next week you and Jimin perfected the new recipe for the revolutionised rice cakes you were going to permanently keep in your assortment of treats in the shop and they turned out to be just the right amount of chewy and sweet. You might have used Jin as your personal lab rat and fed him an obscene amount of cakes until his eyes got glassy and his shoulders sagged in satisfaction. ‘This is heavenly’ he had mumbled while chewing and you knew it wouldn’t get any better than that. Jimin trusted your opinion but he had, of course, also tasted a fair amount of cakes before he agreed with Jin’s judgement. Both of you were lucky you got a few extra days off, since you had collected some overtime in the last month, which gave you enough time to work on the cake recipe. Jimin was grateful for the extra time he got to spend with you, even if Jin had intruded on some of it. At least he got to feed you some of the extra cakes while Jin watched and tried to hide the, very much obvious, jealousy on his face.

That evening, when Jin left, he had touched your upper arm for just long enough for Jimin to consider it inappropriate. Of course, you were oblivious to their childish behaviour.

Today was your last day off before a new week of work started and there were no more cakes to prepare for the shop. Last night, Yoongi had texted you to ask if you wanted to join him for coffee and keep him company while he practised a piece for another upcoming show. You had said yes, since you hadn’t seen your friend in a while and you were happy, he wanted to spend time with you. He was the elusive kind of friend that surfaced out of the blue after periods of being completely dead to the world.

On your way to the university he studied at, you picked up coffee for both of you and a snack for Yoongi, since he usually forgot to eat when he was working on something. You found him in the usual place, already sitting at the piano on the far side of the room, playing away and not noticing your arrival until you plopped down on the bench next to him,

“Hey, Piano Man, take a coffee break”

He stopped playing and turned to you, clearly not having expected you yet,

“I didn’t think you’d be here so soon”

He said, a surprised pout on his lips. You smiled and handed him the coffee and the snack you brought him,

“Left early so I could get you some sustenance”

“How do you know me so well, hm?”

He squinted his eyes at you suspiciously before opening the paper bag and taking an experimental sniff, then nodding approvingly,

“Well, I don’t have that many redeeming qualities but I like to think keeping the people I care about fed, so they stay healthy, is one of my better ones”

You smiled shyly and took a sip of your own coffee. You were wrong though, Yoongi thought. You had a ton of good qualities; far more than he ever thought could be found in a single person. You were the reason he was still in school, after all, and to hell if you didn’t think that counted for something,

“I don’t like it when you do that”

He mumbled under his breath and took a sip of that sweet, sweet bean juice that would bring warmth back into his heart and soul,

“Do what?”

You asked, creasing your brows in confusion,

“That thing where you talk badly about yourself and cover it up with humour”

You huffed and ran a hand through your hair,

“You act like you don’t do that, too”

You accused him and he gave you a look that just said ‘really?’

“I don’t, not like that, anyway. I know I’ve got some good qualities, I’m just super insecure, anxious and nervous at all times, there’s a difference”

Well. He got you there,

“So, stop talking like that, yeah? You know you’re a good person, Serenity, no need to doubt yourself”

He knew he didn’t have a way with words as much as he had a way with the keys on the piano. He just hoped that the essence of what he meant bled through the words and reached your core. He really did mean it like that: you were a good person. In fact, you were the best person in his life, even if he couldn’t show it in a way that he felt would be meaningful enough for you. Through all the problems and hardships thrown at him by his professors and the university and all the obstacles placed in his path by all the policies, regulations and deadlines, you had been there to support him and provide him with advice. You grounded him when his nerves threatened to reach a breaking point and you helped him find the calm and peaceful place in himself that he could retreat to when the world became too much.

He had told you so in his own way; calling you his Serenity, when he felt you needed a push to take his words seriously,

“Alright… I’ll work on it, ok?”

You picked at your nails when you agreed and he was satisfied with the conclusion,

“Ok”

He said calmly and sipped his coffee,

“So, how’s practice going?”

You asked, changing the topic,

“You tell me. You heard me playing when you snuck in like a damn ninja”

Yoongi answered and grinned,

“Everything you play sounds good to me but I’m also not a professional musician, so my opinion isn’t really gonna help you much…”

You would always tell him when you liked a piece, he introduced you to but beyond that? You had close to zero knowledge about music and all the terms and whatnot used to describe it, so Yoongi would have to be satisfied with you either saying ‘it’s great’ or ‘I love it’ repeatedly,

“Hm, fair enough”

He grumbled and turned back to the keyboard. To anyone else, he probably sounded condescending but you two were close enough for you to know, that was far from his intention. He just gave off particularly grumpy and unapproachable vibes at all times.

He sighed loudly and rolled his head around to loosen up some tension in his neck and shoulders,

“Alright… well, will you listen to it anyway?”

He asked and placed his hands on the keys according to the notes on the music sheet,

“Take it away, Maestro”

You said and the smallest smile crept its way onto his face before it scrunched up in concentration and he started playing.

_________

Work was really slow today for some reason. Well, as slow as work in the kitchen of a hotel with hundreds of guests can be. But it felt slower than usual and you had yet to feel like ripping your uniform off and quitting dramatically in the heat of the moment, like you usually did. The majority of the guests currently occupying the rooms were tourists, who only visited the small fishermen town for the yearly celebration of exactly that: the fishermen who had inspired the people of the town to celebrate their work over the hundreds of years since the town had been established. By now fishing wasn’t the main source of the town’s income anymore but regardless, the tradition of celebrating was still going strong. The main source of income was now tourism.

It also meant dinner shift didn’t make you want to repeatedly punch the wall. Who would’ve thought that less guests equals less work?

As you enjoyed a few minutes of relative peace and quiet in the kitchen, you thought about your own relationship with the festival. A while ago, you and your friends, and also some of their friends, had decided you’d all visit the festival together this year and you were looking forward to it. You and Jimin would have to man your little rice cake booth for a while but since you were the business owners you could decide when you would close up and enjoy the rest of the festivities. You would probably only have the booth up during the day and leave it closed in the evening so you would have time to join your friends and get the party going. The festival was approaching fast and you had a feeling it would be a series of nights to remember.

Your thoughts were interrupted by a few new room-service orders, delivered by none other than your favourite colleague and intern, Seokjin. He entered the kitchen through the big double doors and invaded your workspace like it was nothing. Classic Jin,

“Strawberry Flavor, do you have time to make all this? It’s for Areum and another guest”

He handed you a note with a couple of orders scribbled onto it in terrible handwriting. Luckily you were accustomed to Jin’s writing by now and deciphering it was no problem for you anymore,

“Hm, sure, although… it’s already pretty late, Areum shouldn’t have any sugar before bedtime, don’t you think?”

You answered and Jin nodded, looking thoughtful,

“I guess you’re right… what else can you make for her? I don’t wanna show up empty handed”

You mulled it over for a second, tapping you bottom lip with your pointer finger,

“How about something light like a yogurt with a little bit of fruit in it? Nothing special but I can make it look really nice for her”

You suggested and taped the note to your workstation, so you could get started on the other orders, as well,

“Sounds good”

Jin simply said and leaned against the counter to watch you prepare the food. Like yours, his day had been a little less eventful than usual and he was thankful for the extra time he got to relax in between chores. He chose to use a few minutes to talk to you and watch you work. He liked seeing you whirl around the kitchen and grabbing ingredients here and there to put together a perfect meal. He loved food and he loved it even more when you were the one to prepare it. He was sure all the guests that were lucky enough to have their food made by you could taste all the love and effort you put into it,

“Jin, can you come help me? I can’t reach the damn pan on the shelf!”

Jin listened up and pushed himself away from the counter to walk over to where you were standing on your tiptoes, trying to reach the highest shelf,

“Sure”

He said and before you could step aside to make room for him, he stood behind you and placed a hand right next to you to support his weight while he slightly pushed his body forward to reach the shelf. You felt his chest pressed to your back and suddenly your hands felt a little clammy,

“I can reach it but I can’t move it, there’s too much other stuff around on the shelf”

Jin said and you cursed the person who reorganized the shelves the other day,

“Wait a second, I’ll get you something to step on”

You mumbled and tried to move away from Jin but he had a different idea,

“Don’t bother, I’ll just pick you up and you can get it. It’ll be easier, just do it like this”

He maneuvered you around until he was leaning with his back against the shelf and you stood in front of him. Usually you would have protested against this. So much physical contact was not only strange for you and Jin but it was also inappropriate in your place of work,

“Jin, what are you doing?”

You mumbled to yourself while Jin was already bending his knees and wrapping his arms around your middle. You took a deep breath and let out a surprised squeak when Jin lifted you off the ground. The position was more than inappropriate but Jin didn’t seem to mind,

“Is this ok? Am I holding you too tight?”

He asked, seeming concerned with your uncomfortable expression,

“No, no”

You cleared your throat and started to support yourself with your hands on his shoulders,

“It’s fine, just… don’t drop me, ok?”

you looked down at his handsome face and he smiled gently up to you,

“Don’t worry, I won’t”

You held onto his shoulders a little tighter. They felt nice, strong. Did he work out?

“Can you get it?”

He asked and you remembered the pan, so you let go of his shoulders,

“Ah… yes, just a second”

No rush, thought Jin. You started rummaging around the shelf and moving things around to make room for the pan. While you moved around a little more you felt Jin squeeze you a little tighter and it didn’t feel as uncomfortable anymore.

Jin knew he had taken a risk with this but he also just wanted an opportunity to get closer to you. He didn’t do anything too inappropriate; he would never touch you in a way that would make you feel uncomfortable or unsafe. He knew you trusted him and he knew you knew that he valued that trust. Thus, he also knew, you wouldn’t mind it if he held you like this. Granted, he didn’t think his face would be this close to your boobs but it wasn’t like he would ever complain about that. He wouldn’t mind being even closer.

You had finally managed to procure the pan without pushing anything else off the shelf and Jin had let you slowly slide out of his secure grip until you were the one looking up at him, again. You brushed your shirt off and cleared your throat once more before awkwardly thanking him,

“I’ll get back to work…”

You mumbled and walked back to your station. You couldn’t exactly explain why you felt a little nervous all of a sudden. Or why your mouth had run dry. Or why you felt a tingle in the places where Jin’s big and gentle hands had touched you. You also couldn’t exactly explain why your innocent friendship suddenly didn’t feel so innocent anymore.

_________

Jimin couldn’t pick you up from work tonight and when you got home, you peeked through his open door and found him already fast asleep in his bed. You had hoped he would still be up when you came home but you guessed practice must have been especially exhausting today. You quietly closed the door and retreated to your own room to unwind and then go to sleep, too. Tomorrow would be an eventful day for both of you, since you needed to transport your little booth to its spot on the festival area and decorate it; make it look pretty and approachable for all the visitors and potential customers.

Together, you had developed a nice decoration scheme and decided to go with minimal but effective. Small but cute decorative figures and little Stickers for the children to take with them. Working with Jimin was always so easy. You couldn’t remember even a single time when you and him had to argue about something because you both preferred to stay rational and talk it out like adults.

You had recruited Jin and one of Jimin’s closer friends, Namjoon, to help you transport and set up your booth. You weren’t thrilled at Joon’s involvement in the delicate process because the independent writer had a reputation for being one of the clumsiest people alive. And even if you were thankful for the help, you were going to need to be prepared to deal with any major damage Joon would most likely cause.

For now, all you wanted to do was sleep and recharge for the events of the next day, yet you felt restless.

Nervousness started to creep in on you and you only tossed and turned in your sheets, unable to fall asleep. Were your rice cakes really going to sell tomorrow? Would the visitors of the festival actually consider your booth and try the cakes? Maybe the recipe wasn’t perfect, yet, after all… Suddenly you sat up and sighed deeply,

“Ah.,. let’s just check the recipe one last time, I won’t be able to sleep, anyway”

You mumbled to yourself and pulled a thin nightgown over your body before you made your way back through the dark apartment. Stumbling over a box you or Jimin left in the hallway, you made your way down into the shop and started putting together the ingredients for the dough. You tried to rustle around the kitchen as quietly as possible, not wanting to risk waking up Jimin, who clearly needed the rest more than you,

“Ok… let’s do this”

Cracking your knuckles, you looked at the prepared work space.

The bowls of ingredients stared back at you, taunting you and your skills as a baker,

“Ugh, this is ridiculous”

You rolled your eyes and took a deep breath. It couldn’t be so hard, could it? Why was this making you so nervous?

“Rice cake? What are you doing in the shop so late?

Jimin’s soft voice pulled you out of your thoughts and you turned around to see him standing on the last step the stairs and leaning against the wall. He was looking at you, squinting his eyes sleepily and trying to adjust to the light,

“Jimin, why are you up? Did I wake you? I’m sorry, I tried to be quiet”

You said and moved around a little to try and cover up the bowls behind you,

“Are you ok? You look stressed”

Jimin walked over to you and put his hand against your forehead, trying to feel your temperature,

“I’m fine, I just couldn’t sleep”

You pulled his hand away from your forehead,

“Do you need something to help you sleep? Tea, maybe? I can make you some soup or porridge- “

“Jimin, I’m fine, really”

You smiled at his suggestions, loving how he wanted to care of you,

“Thank you, though. I think I just need a minute or so, to calm down”

He nodded and pursed his lips, then he noticed all the stuff behind you on the counter,

“What’s all this?”

He craned his neck to get a better look and you gently pushed against his chest to avoid having to explain yourself,

“You want to prepare cakes, right now? It’s the middle of the night”

His creased brows and confused expression made you feel a little bit guilty,

“What’s really going on? Are you nervous about tomorrow?”

He asked and you felt yourself at a loss for words,

“I- “

You were surprised time and time again, how well Jimin knew you and could how easily he could tell what really went on inside your head,

“Well… if you really wanna know, then, yes. I’m a little worried”

You confessed and turned your eyes to the floor, then continued your explanation:

“I’m worried people won’t like our booth and the cakes. We’ve put so much work into this shop… what if it was all just a waste of time? I know the locals like what we do but that won’t be enough to sustain a growing business for long, you know? I was hoping we’d branch out eventually, maybe open up another shop in the next big city, or something. If we can’t convince a few lousy tourists to buy from us, then how are we going to establish ourselves anywhere else?”

“That’s what you’re worried about? That people won’t like the cakes?”

He asked and you pouted. When he said it like that, your worries seemed so small and unreasonable,

“Yeah…”

You kicked at some imaginary dirt, wanting to avoid Jimin’s kind eyes at every cost but he wouldn’t have it, trying to wiggle into your line of sight even if you turned your head away from him,

“Hey, Rice Cake, look at me…”

“No, I feel stupid for worrying”

“It’s not stupid to care about what you do. This shop and the cakes, they’re your babies. They’re also my babies but without you, I wouldn’t even have made it to this point. So, don’t feel stupid for wanting to succeed”

Maybe he had a point, you thought. You let out a quiet breath and lifted your gaze to find Jimin smiling reassuringly at you,

“Ok”

“Ok? You sure?”

He asked and gently nudged your arm with his elbow,

“Yes, I’m sure”

You said, finally smiling again,

“Good. Now tell me… is it only me, or are you suddenly craving something sweet?”

Jimin raised his brows expectantly,

“I don’t know, I guess I could eat something”

You answered and Jimin chuckled,

“Then it’s a good thing we’re both so good at baking, right?”

Jimi whipped past you and started to mix up all the stuff you had laid out and you just watched in astonishment, unable to believe the nerve of this guy,

“What are you waiting for? Get to it, the flour won’t sift itself”

You just shook your head, smiling to yourself and thanking every higher power out there, that Park Jimin existed in your life.

The two of you worked in comfortable silence for a while. You worked well together in the kitchen. All the time spent down here, working on recipes, manoeuvring around the limited space without bumping into each other had really helped your coordination as a team. Jimin had whipped up some creamy dough and you were about to prepare the steamer. You watched Jimin whisk the mixture a little more until he was satisfied with the consistency. You watched him curiously, prepared to take the batter off his hands and form little balls to put in the steamer but you found yourself not only watching the whisk but also the arm whisking it. A very nice arm, one might say. Smooth skin, visible veins and strong muscle, all working together to create a picture you found yourself admiring a little, if you were being honest. Objectively speaking, Jimin was handsome; no one, not even you, could deny it. Years of passionate dancing had shaped his body in a way, that you could definitely appreciate. Even though you lived together, you had never seen Jimin wearing less than jeans and a t-shirt. An unspoken rule about decency had always kept you two from crossing each other when you were wearing anything other than a full outfit. The fact that he was standing before you in a tank top and sleeping shorts, was what made this situation feel even more out of the ordinary, than it already did.

You pulled your nightgown tighter around yourself, more aware of your own state of (un)-dress. Your shorts were even shorter than Jimin’s and you wondered, if he also felt a little weird about the situation. If he did, he didn’t let it show,

“You ready for me, Rice Cake?”

He asked you without looking up from the bowl,

“Yes, I’m ready”

“Wanna taste it first? Make sure it’s good?”

Jimin’s voice suddenly didn’t sound so soft and gentle anymore. You stuttered and then cleared your throat,

“Um, I trust you”

You replied, sounding a little insecure,

“You sure?”

Jimin looked up at you now, focused on your unsure expression. He put away the whisk and slowly dipped a finger into the batter and then placed it in his mouth, without breaking eye contact.

A quiet moan left him and he smiled,

“Come try it, have a little taste”

He beckoned you forward with a curled finger and your feet moved on their own accord until they were planted firmly on the ground, next to Jimin’s

“Ok”

You mumbled and looked up at him,

“Close your eyes”

He said and you sighed and let your eyes fall closed,

“I’m sure it’s good, we’ve worked on the recipe for- “

You were caught off guard and simply obeyed without a second thought, opening your mouth. A second later you felt Jimin place his finger on your tongue, covered in batter. You closed your lips around it and opened your eyes, finding Jimin’s gaze fixed on your lips, with his own slightly parted. You tasted the sweetness of the batter and let the taste overrun your senses. With your tongue slowly starting to move around Jimin’s finger and gently sucking on it, you were able to taste all of it; the sweet, the tangy and the slightly salty taste of Jimin’s skin.

“Good?”

He asked, voice sounding a little strained. You nodded,

“Yeah? You like it?”

He asked again and you looked up at him with wide eyes, slowly letting his finger slide out from between your lips,

“I like it”

You said and Jimin ran his other hand through his hair. He had to look away; you were too sexy for your own good.

And you didn’t even notice it! The worst of it all was, that he had never seen you wear anything like this before: just a camisole with thin straps and sleeping shorts. Not to mention that scrap of a night gown. He’d never seen so much of your skin and he had to admit, it was becoming harder and harder no to reach out and touch the smooth-looking skin of your upper arm, where your shoulders started, or accidentally brush his fingers against the soft skin of your thighs in passing.

He was about to pop the most uncomfortable boner while you licked your lips and didn’t even pretend to acknowledge the sexual tension in the small room,

“Ok, good…”

Jimin mumbled and wiped his finger on his shorts before he grabbed the bowl and stepped around you to the steamer. He quickly needed to focus on something else because he didn’t want to risk accidentally bumping his problem into you and making things awkward. He thought maybe you didn’t notice how his shorts slightly tented and he did his best to turn his body away from you, while he filled small portions of the batter into the steamer. Maybe he could get you to leave and have some time to cool down again,

“Ah… Rice Cake, why don’t you go ahead and wait upstairs, hm? This won’t take long. I’ll bring them up when they’re finished”

He smiled at you reassuringly,

“What are you talking about, this was my idea. I can’t let you slave away over this alone…”

You pouted slightly and took a step towards him,

“No, no, don’t worry! I’ll take care of it, get some rest, ok?”

You considered it for a second and then sighed. He may have sounded slightly more panicked than necessary but hey, if it did the trick,

“Ok, if you’re sure… I guess I’m a little more tired than before”

You said and promptly yawned,

“Go to sleep, you need the rest”

Jimin ushered you out with a wave of his hands and a last cute smile and then he could finally let out a deep breath,

“Well, that was close”

He said to himself, after he heard the door to the upper floor close, then wiped the metaphorical sweat off of his brow,

“Ah, seriously Jimin-ah, what are you, 12?”

he looked down at himself and pointed a finger at the, still very much visible, tent in his pants as a warning,

“You could have gotten us in trouble…”

Then he shook his head and sighed, remembering the little cakes in the steamer. He hoped you would already be asleep by the time he brought the last batch upstairs because he wouldn’t be able to handle the visual of him, feeding you a few of them, after what had just happened.

Later, when he was finally back in bed, he still wasn’t quite sure what had possessed him. You, however, slept like a blissfully ignorant baby that night.

_________

Thank you so much for reading! Part two is now here !

#bts fanfction #bts #BTS jin #BTS suga #bts jimin #Joon makes a quick appearance #min yoongi x reader #min yoongi x you #kim seokjin x reader #kim seokjin x you #park jimin x reader #park jimin x you #Jin is a dork #Jimin is the sweetest bean #Yoongi is bad with feelings #I love them #please ignore how much i mention rice cakes #itshardcandy #hardcandywriting

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ghost-writing · 5 years ago

Text

The Monster 2/?? - August Walker fanfic

This is a re-post from my other blog... I’ve decided to post my writing on a separate page, it’ll be easier to access like that.

I’ve edited this a little, but there might still be some spelling mistakes & grammatical errors. (English is not my 1st language!) So, if you see something that irks you, please tell me! :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PART TWO - Breaking

Word count: 3.2k (The bit below the 2nd gif was labeled “part 2.2″, and titled “Interlude at the office”, but it’s quite short, so I decided to not make it separate anymore.)

Warnings: Sex (unprotected), rough sex, a certain dose of violence (including light choking), SMUT, swearing and bad language. And August Walker. (The Kingstache deserves its own warning.) And it’s probably full of typos and redundancies.

Part one can be found here!

He texted her around midnight. He had tried to not give in, resisted for almost a week, but he needed to let some steam off tonight. And he thought he liked her, which was angering him even more. She was a good investigator: smart, could think outside the box, and did not take shit from anyone, not even him. He used to like that about Sloane: she commanded respect. She did not deserve it, though. He did not know yet if Annie Franken did, he had not scratched under the surface enough. But after the month he had spent here in Brussels, he could say that he almost enjoyed working with her. At the very least, she made this dull case more acceptable. He had been offended when Sloane had given him the assignment. He felt it was an insult to his previous accomplishments. And the case would last months. At least, he’d get to travel around Europe. And since that night, he thought she was another perk.

Less than five minutes into his first meeting with the captain, he had requested to see the whole team’s files. He wanted to know exactly who he was working with, especially as it was his first time working with the Nexus. The man in charge had refused, but he went higher to get them, and he got them. Detective Franken’s dossier was heavier than the others, almost as thick as the captain’s. Apart from the chief, she had been there longer than everyone on that team, which was why she was in charge, and his direct liaison officer.

She had been in a little more trouble than the others, too. Nothing important: some insubordination (from what the redacted report seemed to say, she had been right, and her senior officer got fired shortly afterwards), and a one-time misconduct while handling a criminal in her care (he was lucky to still be alive, but he had it coming). He smiled thinking about the pics of Denizio, the “victim”: covered in bruises and scratches, a couple of deep bites, a dislocated shoulder, and multiple fractures (nose in two places, left side of his face smashed in, seven ribs, and right ankle). He was impressed: she was a fighter, and a nasty one. He had searched for the video of the incident, but had not got to it yet. He didn’t doubt that the evidence had been deliberately lost, to avoid her too much trouble.

The file also contained a lot of praise: from her former chief in the federal police, and her current one. Thinking back of his first meeting with the man, all these compliments, the twinkle in his eyes: the captain admired her, maybe even had a crush on her. August understood the appeal: good at her job, and a nice rack. Maybe too virtuous, at first sight, but he could smell that there was something hidden under the surface of that porcelain skin. Something wicked. He could see it as clearly as his own darkness.

So he stole her psych evaluations, and got disappointed when he read them. All pristine. Not in an obvious, “I’ll tell them what they need to ear” way. She admitted some problems, discomfort, insomnia, anxiety even. But she had a degree in psychology and criminology: she could’ve been faking it. He listened to the tapes: she sounded genuine. Articulate, but still confused by her feelings and reactions at times. Not the reactions of a control freak, just someone genuinely trying to understand herself, and better herself. He particularly disliked the way she was bouncing ideas off the shrink, as if he had been a wall to play against. No, actually, it’s the guy he hated. He either talked too much, or didn’t ask the right questions, the ones he would’ve asked her. And she seemed to like that bespectacled poster boy of blandness. He thought for a moment that they had fucked in his office, but after a really quick check, he found out the man was a closeted gay.

And so, an hour ago, he parked his car in front of her building, trying to calm down after Sloane’s phone call, a fire burning low inside him. He texted: “Are you at your place? Can be there in 10.” He knew she was in: shortly after his arrival, she got out on the balcony, sipping a drink, looking at the horizon, stretching her limbs, trying to unwind after a long day. The answer he got ignited something else in him. “Sure.” Not yes: sure. Sure, you can come over and fuck me. Sure, I’m waiting for you, CIA. Sure. He was panting, raging. He tried to steady his breathing, which took some time. He gripped the wheel tight, his knuckles turning white. Concentrating on the air filling his lungs, then escaping, slowly. Better. Blank face, blank mind, the August Walker way. Never give too much, to anyone. So tonight, he was going to take. And he made himself a promise.“If she has changed from that black t-shirt and sweatpants from earlier, I’ll take everything I want.” He too needed to unwind.

He got out of the car, slowly making his way to the 3rd floor apartment, still breathing in patterns, not to snap too quickly with the pretty doll upstairs. He knocked, looking at the floor. Seconds stretched, and she finally opened the door. She was barefoot, naked legs, dark red satin starting a few inches above her knees. A short kimono, belt knotted tightly around her waist, modestly covering her ample breasts. Sexy, not slutty. He felt his cock twitch. She still sported the same ponytail she had earlier, but she looked younger than at work. Probably the absence of the constantly furrowed brow, which was a common look in those offices, anywhere around the world.

Pushing past her, he entered without a hello. He heard her protest: “I did not invite you in!”, and made his way into the living room.

“I am not a vampire, I don’t need your invitation.” Thinking to himself “What you are wearing is one, anyway.” He heard the door close.

“Yeah, you give more of a werewolf vibe, actually…” His cock twitched again. He turned to face her, menacingly backing her against the wall. “Doll, you have NO IDEA”, he thought.

He towered over her, a nasty look on his face. He was so close she could probably feel the warmth of his chest, though they were not touching yet.

“Don’t you like a wild beast?” He breathed her scent deeply. “Damn, you smell nice, doll!”

“Do I look like a poodle lady?”, she jested.

And all hell broke lose inside of him: he slammed his body into hers, pinning her against the wall, making her gasp from the physical shock. He grabbed her wrist in his left hand, and opened the kimono with the right: she was wearing a dark red satin balconnet bra that barely covered her breasts. He grabbed her ass: a thong. All assorted to the robe. “Something for guests.”

She was pushing her hips towards him: he growled, less than an inch from her mouth now, but instead of kissing her like she wanted him to, he bit her throat and sucked viciously. She yelped : the thought that this man could hurt her, or break her in two with ease, crossed her mind, but she was still aroused. And she could feel that he was too. She could feel his heart beating in his chest. The thought of August Walker having a heart made her chuckle, and he growled some more as a response to her silent joke. She ran her free hand in his hair and, wanting to kiss him, she grabbed him to make him move towards her face. But he snatched her wrist, brought both her arms above her head and held them secure in his gigantic left paw, still nibbling on her throat. He unbuckled his pants with his right hand, undid the zipper, moving away from her just enough to look at her heaving chest, moving up and down rapidly with desire. Her nipples were peaking out of the satin, now, hard as rocks.

He brutally yanked her thong, and she felt the elastic band clap on her hip. She almost told him that those cost a lot of money, but decided it was wisest to just go with the flow, right now. She got distracted almost immediately anyway: he took his cock out and penetrated her without holding back. As she was dripping with anticipation (she had been since receiving the text, to be honest, running to the bedroom to change out of her comfortable sweats, into something more appropriate for a booty call), he slid his entire length inside her with ease, up to the hilt, and stayed still for a few seconds, looking hungrily at her round tits, biting his lips at the sight of her exposed nipples. He let go of her wrists, leaving them tingling with the sensation of blood circulating again in her veins, and pushed the satin robe off her shoulders and arms. She let it slide off her, feeling it brushing the back of her legs as it fell to the floor.

Suddenly, he pushed the vase and the decorative bowl that were placed on the sideboard next to them, sending them crashing down, and lifted her with his other arm to sit her on the wooden piece of furniture, still inside her. He then planted both his hands on the wall, on each side of her head, framing her, leaning in, his forehead touching hers, pushing her shoulders closer against the cold surface, and he started moving his hips, back and forth, between her thighs, wide open for him, increasing the speed every few thrusts. She moaned louder, and tried to grab his shirt to open it.

“Don’t.”

That one syllable made her blood freeze, and she took her hands off him, grabbing the edge of the sideboard outside of her legs instead. He was grunting like an animal, a huge bear completely enveloping her with his frame. She had always liked big guys, she liked feeling small in their arms and under them. She didn’t need a man to protect her; it was more about being shielded from the outside world for a moment, forgetting everything but the man fucking her senseless. And this large grizzly was very good at that, even if he was rough. She liked rough. She preferred a bit of pain than feel nothing at all.

But the bear man was inflicting more than a little pain, now. His eyes were still fixed on her breasts, dark with rage, his thrusts becoming violent. His lips occasionally sucked at her nipples, more often his teeth bit into them, but he was mostly looking at her breathing in and out, slightly smiling when she’d whimper in protest. And as she started to cry a bit louder, a visible grin was adorning his face.

He stopped pumping into her, grabbed her with one arm around her waist, carrying her next to the couch. There, he pulled her off his cock, savoring her gasp, and put her down. Her legs were slightly shaking, but she did not try to hold onto him for balance. She had understood that he was in a foul mood, and did not want to be touched. “Good girl.” But he was still raging, not feeling like calming down, and she would pay the price for it, even if she behaved. But he was sure that she could take it. If she had wanted him to stop, she would’ve fought back, and he’d be in a similar state as that “poor” Denizio guy.

So, instead of feeling sorry for her, he turned her around, bent her over, and parted her legs with his hands, guiding her ankles with a feet. He slapped her ass once, twice, three times. She let a scream escape only with the first blow. He pushed her forward, so that she ended up kneeling on the sofa. But instead of letting her upper chest rest on the back of it, he grabbed the base of her ponytail in his left fist, and yanked, silently ordering her to look at him. And as soon as her eyes met his, he slid his cock back into her, making her moan loudly. He saw fire behind her pupils: she was enjoying this. Thus, he fucked her, hard and fast, into oblivion. And her cries of rapture grew louder and more desperate. He let go of her hair, seizing her elbows instead, pulling her to him, allowing him to go even faster. She came, but it still wasn’t enough for him, so he let go of her arms, and shoved her face in the seat, pushing her back with both hands. She was screaming now, her petite body jerking with each thrust. He slapped her ass some more, leaving big red marks on her pale, soft flesh, and vigorously took hold of her waist, knowing perfectly well he’d leave bruises, feeling pride at the thought.

She felt him withdrawing, turning her around to face him. She was a rag doll in his hands, unable to think for herself. Not once had she fought him, asked him to stop. She thoroughly loved being used by him. He could take whatever he wanted, right now. And he did: he bottomed out into her, making her howl, a throaty wail after her prior screaming, and pinned her down with his hips. His right hand lifted her leg up, allowing him deeper access into her cunt, and his left hand caught her throat. The surprise of his touch made her climax, her whole body shaking, her eyes rolling in her head, her back arching, her walls clenching on him. Thereby, he huffed and puffed as his own orgasm built, and swore profusely as he pulled out of her to come all over her belly and her breasts.

Both out of breath, they looked at each other, panting, completely spent. She saw a light in his eyes, hoped he would just collapse on top of her, and finally kiss her, but in an instant, his expression changed. He got up, tucking himself back in his pants, rearranging his clothes, smoothing his messy hair. And without one last look at her, he got out, his words slapping her face.

“See you at work tomorrow, Franken.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The day had been long, just like the rest of the week. She still couldn’t sit down without wincing. She couldn’t sit down at all the first day. And she had to wear a fucking turtleneck to hide the bite marks and the hickeys he had adorned her neck with. Her whole body was covered in bruises, purple finger prints on her wrists and forearms, on her hips, on her ass. She was raging inside, and he was there, working like absolutely nothing happened.

He did not avoid her, they still exchanged about the investigation, they had prepared a necessary trip to London. But it felt different than the week before, the week after that first night. Before, she had noticed his gaze, a furtive smile; once, he even had asked her if she wanted tea. But now, he was distant. Or maybe she simply wanted him to be closer.

She was angry about all the marks left on her, and she definitely would’ve preferred to be able to sit normally, but it was the way he left that hurt the most, and how he acted now. She wasn’t a fuck toy to discard after use. She didn’t want a relationship, she just wanted him to acknowledge her existence in a decent way. Say hello, and kiss her before, during and after making her climax like she hadn’t in a long, long time. She could’ve been nice to him too, reciprocate. Because whatever August Walker tried to pretend he was, deep down, he was human too. Probably. Or maybe he was just a psycho.

She could see some signs: the manipulation, the violence. She wasn’t sure about the lack of remorse or guilt. She felt he was wearing a mask, not just covering up a mistake. Doing what was expected of a cold, calculated man. But she had seen glimpses of humanity in him. He had grabbed a fantasy book left by Simon on his desk, and had smiled as if remembering the first time he had read it. She heard him hum to a song played on the radio while on a stakeout, thinking she was asleep. Not a robot, just a character he was projecting, for protection most probably. She could relate: she had tried that, but could never maintain it for too long. She still joked, she still cared. And she needed to come out for air after keeping a serious face for too long. Just like she could not let him get away with using her like he had, not without saying something.

So tonight, after sending Simon and Niklaas home, she confronted him. He was finishing the cold pizza they had earlier, mumbling about anchovies.

“How did that broom get stuck so high up your arse?”, she asked, a fake incredulous look on her face. He almost chocked on a tiny hairy fish, and he fumed.

“I’d really love to ear that story. Please, tell me how!” She batted her eyelashes, simulating fascination.

“I’m not playing this game with you…” He dropped the slice back in its box.

“No, of course not. I can’t take control of the conversation, that would belittle you, wouldn’t it?”

He remained silent, stood up and walked towards the door. Before he got there, she aimed and fired: “You lost control the other night.”

He stopped in his tracks, turned around.

“I did not.”

“Yes, you did. I had zero control, I left it to you, but you lost it anyway. If you had not lost it, you would’ve pretended. You’re a great pretender, Walker, that’s part of your job. But instead, you acted like a little boy who can’t help breaking his toys.”

“There”, she thought. He twitched when she called him a boy, almost catching fire. And right after, a flash in his eyes. Regrets. Just a hint, before snapping back.

“You enjoyed it.”

“I do like it rough, yes. But I don’t like being treated like a cheap whore.” She got on her feet, moved slowly towards him, stopping just an inch from his tall frame. “I’m not cheap in any way.”

Looking down on her, August wrapped his arm around her waist, resting his hand in the small of her back, drawing her closer to him. Almost tenderly, if it wasn’t for the hardening cock in his pants, rubbing lightly against her belly. He breathed in slowly, before what must have felt to him like spilling his guts.

“Let me take you out while we’re in London. For dinner.”

She pushed away from him, moving towards the door.

“No.” She got out of the office. “See you at work tomorrow, Walker.”

#fanfic #august walker #august walker fic #august walker smut #The Monster #smutty smut

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novathesheltie · 5 years ago

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so i'm 3 weeks-in my 5th year in this hell-hole called my university and

1) i've yelled about this already but, my physics prof is utterly incompetent and it is so fucking frustrating

2) my stats prof...is cramming so much review and is zooming through rstudio, a program i've used before but like...it's been a few months let's do some refreshers yeah? and like let's not give assignments students to do, all by themselves, t-tests and 1-way anova right off the bat perhaps yeah? it's their 1st time teaching the course and one student had a hard time setting the working directory...literally the most basic thing to do...so let's slown down yeah? oh and the "helpful" vids on canvas are half muffled so i can't hear shit and are honestly not that helpful, and also the internet (which was suggested to rely on if needed) is also unhelpful bc...if you don't know the basics well, these so-called helfpul forums will be a total foreign language and thus *unhelpful*

3) this other prof in my fisheries class has yet to answer my goddamn emails approving the genus i chose for an assignment and it needs to approved before i can start fucking writing it AND this prof is so fucking technologically impaired he either will forget to turn on his mic or share the screen on zoom (bc some students go on campus to attend lecture therefore it's like valid to forget these really fucking basic things) and if you try to ask a question at the end of class too bad bc he will shut the zoom session either after you asked the question or AS you're asking the question

3) i have yet to hear anything from my other prof with whom i'm doing *something* (supposedly called undergrad research) and it almost feels like he got me mixed up w another student?? which is like not great

4) i'm just really sick and tired of these so-called professionals leaving the students to basically teach themselves the material off the internet and paying-websites instead of like. doing their job. university professors are a fucking scam and i hate this country

#text #i fucking hate this school so much #dont go to penn state for a wildlife degree is all im gonna say

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loridrabbles · 5 years ago

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Imprisoned | Dogma x Reader (Part 22)

Dogma awoke to two guards standing over him, a pair of shackles in hand, but no muzzle. They stood, unmoving, waiting for him to wake up to the demands they spat at him. Unbeknownst to him, they were the same two guards who discovered that he and (y/n) had had a child, Frigate and Hubris.

"Your retrial is today." One spoke while the other put him in chains. "It starts in an hour. We're taking you to get cleaned up, then we will escort you to the court room where you will meet with your defendants."

"It's today?" He asked. He hadn't expected it to come so soon, though throughout the months, had lost track of the days, even though the prisoners were alerted as to when sunrise came and went. There were days where he didn't notice, but he slept through the day after taking a mid morning nap and wouldn't wake until the next morning. Was it depression? Stress? Emotional exhaustion? Or maybe just plain old physical exhaustion.

"That's what I just said isn't it?" Hubris responded. "Let's get going. We don't have all day."

The guards escorted him up and out of the depths of the prison, to a wing that looked like a medical facility. He assumed it was the same place (y/n) was taken when she was cleaned up for her trial. They reached a door and Frigate fumbled with the key card to get in. While Hubris berated his partner, Dogma examined his surroundings. His assumptions were made true when he spotted dried stains between the tiles on the floor. Not very much, but it was old and brown, unmistakably blood. He didn't have a very close relationship with Kix, but he missed him regardless.

(Y/n)'s heart pounded as she entered the court room. She passed by so many unfamiliar faces and felt trapped under their gaze. She spotted Rex giving her a hopeful smile as she walked to the stand. Kix accompanied him. His wheelchair was nowhere in sight, but he still depended on a set of crutches. (Y/n) sat next to them having decided the night before that it would be too nerve racking for her to testify. The court was quiet, everyone's head's snapped to a door as it opened. Two guards entered followed by Dogma. (Y/n)'s heart jumped to her throat and tears pricked her eyes as she gasped quietly. She felt Rex place a hand on her shoulder and Dogma smiled at her and he took his place at the stand.

"All rise." The magistrate spoke to the crowd as the judge entered the room. "Department one of the court is now in session. Judge Abedion presiding."

"Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. Calling the case of the Republic versus CT-4573. Are both sides ready?" The judge asked. His voice was kind, but authoritative and commanded the room. Both parties indicated they were ready to begin. "Now, Mr... Dogma, is it? I have been examining your case since it was submitted months ago and I already have in mind what I believe to be the proper outcome, but I will still humor a case and an argument from both parties. I'm curious to see what your attorneys have to say. Miss Amidala."

"Thank you your honor. My client will in fact today be found not guilty for the crime he is accused of. The Republic accused him of killing a Jedi general without permission from a superior. However, the law states that an able soldier may continue a superior's plan of action if that superior becomes unable to carry out stated action. His Captain, Captain Rex, had the authority to execute the Jedi general Pong Krell, and upon attempt to exert that authority, was rendered unable to do so. Rightfully, Dogma took his place, and executed the General himself."

"Is it not true that, immediately before the execution of the General, your client was imprisoned by the Captain himself."

"Yes, your honor."

"And why is that?" The judge questioned.

"He had drawn his weapon on him."

"Any why would an able soldier, draw his weapon on his superior?"

"He was defending the General, your honor. It wasn't until the moments leading up to the execution that it was brought to my client's attention that the general was a traitor." Padmé spoke smoothly and with confidence. (Y/n) nervously shifted in her chair.

"I believe in a statement received from CT-7567 that what you are saying is true, however, when was it stated that CT-4573 was a soldier granted capability to take place in executions?"

"Hours before the execution, General Pong Krell himself made Dogma the executioner for two other troopers." Padmé responded.

"So, it sounds to me that there was no reason Dogma was not permitted to execute the general. Would you agree?"

"Yes, your honor."

"Now a question I have for you is, who is to decide whether or not the General was worthy of execution?"

The conversation between the judge, Padmé, and the prosecutors went on for hours. Tension was high and half the court room was on the edge of their seats, the other half biting their nails. The trial was emotionally exhausting and (y/n) could feel herself about to break. One minute, the judge would seem to be in Dogma's favor, and the next he would be almost insulting him. The judge stood.

"I believe I have all the information I need to make a decision. The jury will now retire to deliberate." The judge slammed down the gavel and left the stand followed by the jury.

The court was filled with chatter as Dogma was escorted out of the court while the parties deliberated in the back rooms. (Y/n) sighed and put her head in her hands, leaning on the ledge in front of her. She felt Rex give her a reassuring rub on her back. Barely an hour passed before the jury returned, which according to Padmé was a bad sign.

"This court is now in session." The judge said, banging the gavel as Dogma took his place at the stand. "Has the jury reached a verdict?"

"We have, your honor." Nearly the entire courtroom stood in anticipation of the verdict.

"Members of the jury in the case of CT-4573 V. The Republic what say you?"

"Your honor, the members of the jury find the defendant guilty."

(Y/n)'s heart sank and she wanted to cry. Her breath shook and tears stung her eyes. Her head spun and she felt like vomiting and wished this day had never come. The court around her chattered in disapproval.

"CT-4573 the jury finds you guilty of one count of second degree murder and treason." The judge spoke. "However, I disagree with their ruling and overrule their decision." The people in the court gasped and began talking louder, quieting down upon hearing the gavel and the judge declaring order. "Sir, I do not find that the jury has reasonable enough evidence to declare you guilty of these crimes. No one in this room, but the two men sitting behind you know what happened during that campaign, at least not the full truth. None of us will ever know. I believe the decision you made may have been the right one." The judge leaned on his elbows with is hands folded in front of him, a slight smirk on his face. "I find you not guilty of these crimes. But, now we have another issue to address. Unfortunately, as a clone, you are property of the Republic, and I cannot let you go as a free man. It is now the 23rd of the standard month, by the 1st of the next I am sending you back to the 501st."

"Yes, sir." Dogma spoke.

"But we have yet another issue to address. I understand you have a child now. Am I correct?" The judge asked with a soft smile.

"Yes, sir." Dogma answered.

"How old?"

"11 weeks, sir."

"You love her?" The judged asked. Dogma could barely speak as tears stung his eyes. He nodded.

"So much, sir."

"I understand. I'm a father myself, and I, in my right mind, cannot separate you from yours. You'll need each other moving forward. I'd like to work something out for you. I've reviewed the tapes of how you and your partner were treated in the prison and it's unnerving. That should never have happened and I'd like to make it up to you. You will be living at the base, whichever one your battalion is assigned to, however you will be permitted to move to and from on certain days when permitted by your general. Does that sound ok?"

"Yes, sir." Dogma tried to smile holding back tears. "Thank you, sir."

"Is there anything else I can do for you?" The judge smiled.

"May I have permission to marry her?" He choked out.

"Is that your girl behind you?" The judge asked, nodding towards (y/n) who's face was wet with tears.

"Yes, sir."

"Yeah, you can." He smiled, giving him a curt nod before standing. "This court is adjourned."

The judge left the room as Dogma was escorted out. (Y/n) stood and rushed to Padmé.

"What happens now."

"He'll be processed and released. He can go home with you until the first of next month." She smiled as she was pulled into a tight hug. "He'll be released in an hour or so. Let's go wait for him outside the booking office."

"Yes!" (Y/n) said, grabbing Padmé and Anakin's hands, dragging them out of the court. They waited impatiently outside the office. The cool spring air at night was soothing and dried the tears off (Y/n)'s face, but more were sure to come. The three of them chatted for a while and Kix and Rex joined them as they waited. Finally, the door opened and out walked Dogma. He was given brown pants and a white t shirt, civilian clothes, for his trip home.

"(Y/n)!" He said as she ran towards him, jumping into his arms. He picked her up, hugging her so tightly she could've broken. He set her down and stood back, holding her face in his hands. "I love you so much." He said as he pulled her into a kiss.

"I love you too." She leaned her head against his chest. "Let's go home. Saiorse is waiting."

"Oh, Saiorse. I can't wait to see her."

#the clone wars #clone trooper dogma #clone trooper dogma x reader #dogma x reader #dogma #imprisoned #imprisoned part 22

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vhanna · 6 years ago

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IMPORTANT REMINDERS!

Goodnight students!

The following are this week’s reminders. Please read carefully!

1. Quiz on Thursday

2. Thursday’s In-class Assignment

Find a physical representation for each characteristic of globalization i.e. time-space compression, flexible accumulation, increasing migration and uneven development. The use of pictures, articles or videos may be used to depict the features of these characteristics. Provide an explanation on how each representation is an example of globalization you are describing.

Provide four separate tumblr posts for each element of globalization.

3. Field Work Assignment

Choose any materialistic object, e.g. clothing, food or drink item, electronic, appliance, personal possession etc. and do a thorough research on it by answering the following questions:

1. What is in this product? Where did the ingredients come from? How is this product made?

2. Who makes this product (individuals) and what is their life like?

3. What is the impact of this product on the local community where it is produced and the areas where people consume it?

4. Describe the relationship between the product and the people that produce these products in that community? Do they consume it? How much money do they earn? Did this product affect the people in their community and how? Has it affected people in the community differently based on their age, gender or social class?

5. How much do you pay for this product? What is the real social cost of this product including roads for transportation, pollution, garbage disposal and who pays for them?

6. What is the environmental impact of this product? What is required to grow or process ingredients or what is required to be done to acquire the materials for the chosen product?

Due on Sunday, September 1st, 2019 @ 11:59 pm

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softdows · 4 years ago

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HSC 7th Week Assignment 2022 PDF Download All Subjects | Best PDF

The Department of Secondary and Higher Education HSC 7th Week Assignment 2022 PDF week of HSC Exam 2022 for the students of all government and private colleges of the country who wish to participate in the HSC Exam 2022. August 29, 2021, HSC Exam 2022 As per the routine of publishing the assignments of the examinees, all the information including the notification regarding the publication of…

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likhon1971 · 4 years ago

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SSC Physics 1st week Assignment Answer 2021 pdf download

SSC Physics 1st week Assignment Answer 2021 pdf download has been published today on my educations in bd com website. The Inter-Education Board Examination Regulatory Sub-Committee has been directed to submit assignments of SSC and equivalent and HSC and equivalent candidates for 2021 in 3 group-based elective subjects. The directive was given in a circular signed by Prof SM Amirul Aslam,…

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#SSC Physics 1st week Assignment Answer 2021 pdf download #SSC Physics1st week Assignment Answer 2021 pdf download

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wildewebdesign-blog · 5 years ago

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My weight loss journey

This was me at the beginning of my journey

December 2018 I decided to stand on the scales to see just how heavy I was, and my god I was horrified by the digits I saw! Thats when my love/hate relationship with the weighing scales took a turn for the better. I then decided that my new years resolution would be to lose some weight and get in to shape! So, on the 1st of January 2019 I did just that!

I started to eat healthier and make healthier choices at first but my mindset on food remained the same, which as we all know (for those that have a food addiction) is a real pain in the backside as we just hate wasting food or leaving leftovers. I mean being a few pounds away from twenty nine stone wasnt good for me, my health or my amazing wife who has supported me throughout my entire journey so far! The first step was to cut my portion size down bit by bit so it wasnt a drastic change, stop having takeaways and give myself one day of the week where I could eat something naughty to help curve the cravings for the rest of the week (didn’t go so well, ate like a pig on crap food!) So, I limited myself eventually but that bit comes later in my story! The first week I had lost almost half a stone and was feeling on top of the world! I never thought I could lose weight, as I always gave up after a month or so, this time however I was determined to stick it out. I had an appointment with the doctors, can’t remember what for but the results from a blood test showed I was ALMOST pre-diabetic, so even more important to shift the weight! By going along with most of the official Slimming World guidelines and rules (didn’t go to meetings, not my thing!) I found it easier at first, but figured out very quickly that it had its limitations as some things may work for others but not for me so, I made some tweaks to it, first off, its not a diet. Its a way of life! That bit is very important as if its a diet, you can quit at anytime, whereas if it is a part of daily life, you can’t!

After four months of eating healthier, being a little more active I had a follow up appointment with my GP who actually referred me to the gym, which to be fair I was a little anxious about, I mean the stigma around gyms is they are full of muscular, skinny people but, I found they weren't! Others like me doing their best to shed a few pounds. I will admit, I got addicted to the endorphins and the rush you get afterwards! Oh did I mention that before I started in the gym I had lost three and a half stone already?

Those of you that are on Slimming World and are buying SW chips, or par boiling homemade chips… DON’T DO IT! There is a better way! Handy trick for you, you can either peel them or keep the skin on, but slice your potatoes into chips, spray an oven tray with enough frylight to coat the tray, place the chips on, salt/pepper them and spray more frylight on top to make them crispy and place in the oven at 200 degrees Celsius for half an hour (depending on how you like them) and they are gorgeous! Healthy chips without all the faff!

Ok so, I left off last time after mentioning about my first visit to the gym. This was a whole new area of the world I hadn’t previously explored and was completely clueless! I knew how to use the bike and the treadmill but that was it. The fitness instructor I was assigned to was very inviting and kind, and always paid me compliments which helped boost my confidence whilst in the gym. I started on the TRX, bike, treadmill and squats to start with so, basically all cardio. Which I found relaxing to be fair. It got me into a routine, which I highly recommend for weight loss! Routine is one of the main things that has helped me get this far! Food routine and daily routine. After all, your body stores fat when you have irregular eating patterns as it doesn't know when it will be fed next. Sorry I digressed a little there.

I found that once I am in the gym, headphones in and my favourite music playing I was in the zone, where I could push myself each week to work harder, do more and improve the statistics on my account to show myself I am capable of doing it. At this point I was only attending the gym twice per week. I did this for six months and had lost a total of six and a half stone at this point. I even lost weight over Christmas!

Things changed in May 2020 thanks to the Corona Virus pandemic, where all the gyms, swimming pools etc all closed, so this is where I had to get creative to continue the weight loss and not just sit at home eating crap because I was stuck inside. So I headed over to Youtube and found one or two easy workout videos which I did every day, I was seeing great results! Losing more than I did whilst in the gym and feeling more energetic. I moved on to the video I still use every day today, Emi Wong 30 minute minute HIIT workout with no jumping. Not quite beginner but still a great workout, it has helped me get to the point where at this moment in time (04/06/2020) I am a pound away from a nine and a half stone loss! This is the part of my story where I can share some of the tricks I have used in order to get this far. Most of which are easy enough to do, but some will require self control and a great mental attitude!

This is me now, weighing 19.2 stone!

1) Routine, as mentioned above this helps you to stay the course and also allows you more freedom if that makes any sense?

2) Drink plenty of water, this in turn helps the skin retain its elasticity which helps your skin bounce back instead of having saggy, loose skin afterwards.

3) Eating meals which are healthy, but can be made exciting using herbs and spices to spruce them up a little, you can still have whatever you want but portion control is a must. I still eat sausages but they are Linda McCartney vegetarian sausages.

4) Keep active, says it all really. No explanation needed.

5) Change the way you think about food. Before I started this journey I LOVED pizza and now everytime I think about eating a slice I feel physically sick!

6) Three square meals a day at regular times, for example everyday I have two weetabix, blueberries, grapes, raspberries and strawberries for breakfast. Then I have lettuce, cucumber, cheese and ham sandwiches for dinner and for the main meal I tend to go for gammon (fat removed), broccoli and the chips I mentioned above. I don’t get hungry during the day doing this, so im not liable to eat more than I should.

7) Don’t be afraid to ask for help! People that want to see you in the best shape of your life are more than willing to help! NEVER be ashamed or afraid if you get tempted or have cheated by eating something you shouldn't have, we all do it! At the end of the day its your body, your choices and your life!

So that is my story so far. Any questions? Want somewhere to start yourself? Feel free to comment below and I will answer when I can as my wife and I run two small businesses. One is a website design business called www.wildewebdesign.co.uk and the other is a craft business called www.wildeaboutcrafts.co.uk feel free to take a look :)

#lose weight #weightloss #loseweight #diet #gym

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pre-sociologist · 5 years ago

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IMPORTANT REMINDERS!

Goodnight students!

The following are this week’s reminders. Please read carefully!

1. Quiz on Thursday

2. Thursday’s In-class Assignment

Provide four separate tumblr posts for each element of globalization.

3. Field Work Assignment

Choose any materialistic object, e.g. clothing, food or drink item, electronic, appliance, personal possession etc. and do a thorough research on it by answering the following questions:

1. What is in this product? Where did the ingredients come from? How is this product made?

2. Who makes this product (individuals) and what is their life like?

3. What is the impact of this product on the local community where it is produced and the areas where people consume it?

5. How much do you pay for this product? What is the real social cost of this product including roads for transportation, pollution, garbage disposal and who pays for them?

6. What is the environmental impact of this product? What is required to grow or process ingredients or what is required to be done to acquire the materials for the chosen product?

DUE SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 1ST, 2020 @ 11:59PM !!!

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gremlinsae · 6 years ago

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My Story + Current Situation

I don't know how to begin this post. To be honest, what I'm about to tell y'all may not help me out in any way other than giving me an outlet to vent. Fair warning, this is going to be a long post and I may ramble a bit but I'll add a tldr; at the end.

Sigh.

Let me start from the beginning.

My name is Stacey. I turn 25 years old on April 24th, 2019.

My story begins when I was 19 years old - a freshman at my local university. I was finishing up my first year of my undergraduate program in Biology, aiming to get a Masters or PhD in Genetics. I had many accomplishments; I was awarded a scholarship because of my GPA, a group project I was a part of won 1st place in a writing competition because our independent research paper was the best, and I was just living life and working on my future. I had to take the bus everywhere, I was moving around a lot, and I was working out regularly at my university's gym. One day, as I'm walking to the bus stop, it felt like my right hip popped out of place and then slammed back in.

At the time, it was a minor inconvenience. It hurt, yes, but it mostly just left me sore and it went away with some rest so I didn't think much about it.

I started questioning it more when it happened again over summer break. I was at a friend's house playing D&D when I felt an acute grinding sensation in my right hip joint as I stood up to get me a soda. This time, the pain was significantly worse - sharp and it took longer to go away. I started thinking that I was developing arthritis as my dad also got it young.

It took a while to happen again...but when it did, it got to a point where I couldn't ignore it at all.

I had picked up a seasonal job at Macy's. My first day on the sale's floor was Thanksgiving night going into Black Friday. We were understaffed and it was hell, but I made it through my shift which ended at 2:00 AM. A co-worker came to me and asked if I could pick up her shift the following morning and I took it because I wanted to work. On Black Friday, I started feeling that grinding sensation in my hip again but I worked through it - blowing it off as simple arthritis. I believed rest would help.

That following Saturday, I had another 8 hour shift but this time it was in juniors which was the busiest area. I was moving around a lot, had to bend over to pick things up off the floor, and I'm not even going to get into the mess left in the dressing rooms. Towards the end of my shift, I was limping. The grinding sensation only got worse and suddenly my hip was locked up. I could barely move and when I did I experienced sharp intense pain. I left an hour early because I could no longer do my job. I thought maybe I just picked up too many hours, so I decided to take the rest of the weekend to rest.

But the pain didn't go away with rest. I was in pain for 2 weeks straight, hardly able to walk, before I finally went to see a doctor. I limped my way to the university health center and scheduled an appointment. The lady who saw me performed a simple hip exam. I wasn't able to walk much, so she mostly checked my hip flexion. Off the bat, I knew that I had lost some range of motion as we could barely bring my knee to my chest without pain. The fun part happened as she was guiding my leg back down.

My femoral head caught on my hip bone. It was audible, and yes it hurt.

She had a look of shock as she said, "You are way too young for this."

I was prescribed diclofenac for the inflammation and cyclobenzaprine (flexeril) to relax my muscles and help me sleep through the pain. That same night, my mom took me to the ER and I had a x-ray done on my hip. The radiologist said that there was a slight chance I had femoroacetabular impingement (FAI) (in layman's terms: the bones are misshapen) on both hips, but would need more imaging to truly determine a diagnosis. I was prescribed hydrocodone (vicodin) for about a week to try and manage the pain until I could get insurance and see a specialist.

That's where the fun part started.

Since I turned 19 that year, I was no longer covered under CHIPS Medicaid. I applied again, but was told that I do not qualify because I didn't have any children.

Yeah...you read that right. The state of Texas does not extend benefits to anyone over 19 without children.

My only choice was a county program that helps low income people get medications and treatment so they can get back to work. I wasn't able to apply until months later (a combination of not having my own transportation, busy schedules, and my mom trying to convince me that I would be denied.)

I was 20 years old when I finally found a doctor (we'll call him Dr. D) that could help me figure out what was going on in my hip joint. He took it seriously - performed another hip exam and ordered several lab tests. We checked everything under the sun: cancer, rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, etc. He got me on physical therapy, changed out my diclofenac to meloxicam (mobic), ordered me an MRI, and referred me to an orthopedic specialist to determine how we needed to move forward.

The MRI I had was without contrast. The result was greater trochanter bursitis, or inflammation of the bursa which are sacs filled with synovial fluid that help cushion joint movement.

When I saw the specialist in November of 2014, the chronic bursitis was the sign that something was definitely wrong with my hip. I was only 20 years old with no traumatic injury. Chronic bursitis is not common in someone that young, so he ordered me an MRI with contrast so that they could have better imaging of my joint. My husband's grandparents paid the $932 to get it done in December and it was honestly one of the worst things I had ever gone through. When they injected the dye into my hip, the numbing agent didn't work and it hit a nerve HARD and my entire body convulsed. They injected more of the numbing agent, but that also didn't work so again my entire body convulsed as they tried to get the dye in. The third time worked because they decided to give me a stronger numbing agent...but it messed my hip up. I walked funny for three days.

When I finally saw the specialist again about the results (several months later because of an issue with scheduling), not only did I have bursitis but they also confirmed that I had cam type FAI (layman's terms: the deformity is on the femoral head) and a 9mm labral tear.

Since the condition was causing joint damage, the answer was surgery.

I was sent back to my primary care physician's office, but unfortunately Dr. D wasn't available so I saw a different doctor. (This may seem irrelevant, but it is actually very important.) I told her EXACTLY what the specialist told me, which was that I needed to get sent to San Antonio or Galveston in order to get treatment.

The referral was denied.

I was assigned a new doctor. We'll call him Dr. S. He told me about the denial when I had asked about it during an appointment for a different issue. I remember crying because I had no idea what to do. I was only 21 years old - I didn't know how to navigate the medical system! Plus, I was very very broke. I won't go into too much detail, but I was forced to move out of my parent's because my dad is irresponsible and I was put in a massive amount of credit card debt because my own mother stole my identity and I ended up having to pay the bill for it because my mom was diagnosed with cancer and couldn't work anymore.

(This is only surface level by the way. The last 5-6 years have been absolute hell.)

That summer I was working two jobs. I had a GoFundMe page and I was just trying to save up enough money to possibly get me on an insurance plan to cover the surgery. I came home every night limping and crying, my husband having to half carry me and help me get into a hot bath just to try and bring the pain down enough so that I could do it all again the next day. School was rough as well and my grades were dropping.

I was destroying my body so much that it got to a point where I could no longer do my job as a sale's associate at Macy's. My managers were amazing and they did everything they could to help accommodate me, but it got to a point where I was unable to finish shifts due to pain and I was calling out often. I was running low on my attendance credits and I didn't want to be fired for absenteeism.

I go back to see Dr. S and I tell him I really need something, anything. What I was doing wasn't getting me anywhere and my condition was getting worse due to the progressive joint damage. He didn't really know what to do...saying things like "I can' believe they denied you - the whole point of the program is to help people get their treatment and yet they're denying you." I told him I had heard something about an orthopedic program at one of the hospitals in network and he put in a request for me to see one of their surgeons.

I never got a response.

At the time, I really couldn't pursue the issue - I changed from a sale's associate to a wedding gift registry advisor at Macy's. It was a desk job which really helped keep my hip under control, but the problem was that my hours were reduced and I had no way of picking up more like I did with my previous position. I was having to donate plasma so often just to have food money that I actually have a permanent scar on my left arm.

I loved that job, but it barely paid the bills. I took a semester off of school so I could focus on working and babysitting my nephew due to a family emergency. Thankfully my in-laws paid me. Even though it was something I would have done for free, it really helped out.

But then Macy's had a huge company layoff in January 2017...and I was affected. The position I had was being removed from my local store, so I was without a job. My depression took a big hit and it almost ruined my relationship with my husband. I wasn't taking care of myself, I wasn't doing my responsibilities that were required for my unemployment benefits and my insurance, and I basically became extremely dependent on my husband to a point that our relationship became unhealthy. It took a while to get me out of that rut. I started applying for jobs and I ended up getting hired by Aflac around the end of April, but I had to get my driver's license before I could be officially on board.

I understand that the above may not seem relevant, but...that summer was when things got even worse.

I wasn't able to get my license in time to take the position, but that was only a part of the issue. In July, I was helping my husband's business at a convention when I had one of the worst flares I've ever had. I had twisted the wrong way, causing my femur to catch on my hip bone, and I ended up on the floor in fetal position.

At best, the pain felt like I was being stabbed with an ice pick. At worst, it felt like every tiny movement I made was splintering my hip bone. The splintering sensation I had felt before, but not to this degree. My hip was locked and it felt like I was stuck in a vice. On the pain scale, I was around a 9. It was unbearable. I ended up in the ER where the only thing they could do was give me a shot and a prescription for Tylenol 3 (acetaminophen + codeine) to help me get through it...

Neither the shot or the medicine worked. While my hip was unlocked, I was still experiencing sharp pain that was so deep in my hip bone that none of the medications touched it.

It hurt...it hurt intensely and consistently.

It got to a point where I had to borrow flexeril and tramadolfrom someone while I was trying to renew my insurance. Yes, I'm aware that this is illegal - but I was out of flexeril and the meloxicam wasn't working so we were trying to get me through the MULTIPLE flares I was having even when I didn't do anything to aggravate my hip. The end of 2017 was exhausting for multiple reasons.

Once I got back on the county program, I had an appointment scheduled with a new doctor (we'll call her Dr. P) because Dr. S was no longer working in network.

The week of my appointment...was really rough. We had to put our dog down at 2 years old because he had severe chylothorax and we didn't have the money or the means to seek treatment (plus it was so severe that seeking treatment could have killed him.) A few days later, Hurricane Harvey hit and my area was badly affected. My appointment had to be rescheduled.

I saw several different doctors in the following months because Dr. P never had an opening available. I ended up needing a wheelchair to get around because my standing/walking limit was drastically reduced. I'm lucky to be able to stand for 10-15 minutes now compared to the 1.5 - 2 hours it used to be. I tried to apply for medicaid again, but was denied and advised to try and apply for disability. I didn't have enough credits to apply through social security so I found an attorney and just gave it a shot. However, I got a rejection letter for representation due to the information that they received from my doctor's office.

I start questioning things at this point. What did they tell the disability attorney? We knew I needed surgery and that my condition was getting worse. What could my doctor have told the attorney that resulted in a denial?

I didn't see Dr. P until May of 2018 and apparently, she had no record of my diagnosis and my need for surgery. The only imaging she could find on file was my very first MRI (without contrast) and so she was under the impression that the only issue was mild inflammation in my right hip.

I was pissed.

I ended up having to redo the entire process. I see the very same specialist again and he didn't remember me. I had to get another MRI done and he requested an x-ray right before my appointment, but he never went over the results with me. He basically told me I need to "put up with it" and ordered me a fluoroscopy guided injection.

I get the injection in October and literally minutes afterward I start crying because of how overwhelmed I was at no longer being in pain. To give y'all an idea, chronic pain isn't always intense pain 24/7. For me, it feels like my hip is constantly bruised. I usually hover around a 2-3 on the pain scale and the more I move the higher it gets. IT IS EXHAUSTING. To finally feel "normal" again was so overwhelming for me that I was a sobbing mess as we walked back to the car.

That week I was so happy. My mental health immediately improved. I was able to walk around, go up and down stairs, even go on a camping trip with my ecology class and go hiking! All these things that I wanted to do I could finally do again with only minimal and MANAGEABLE pain. I still took it easy, but I was finally able to enjoy my life again.

...

The following Monday, a week after the injection, I woke up in severe pain. I had felt the familiar twinge the night before, resulting in an anxiety attack because of the fear my hip pain was returning...and unfortunately my fear came true. The injection normally lasts a few months...for me, it lasted one week.

I go see the specialist for the follow up appointment regarding the injection. He seemed kind of confused, saying things like "At least now we know the problem is your hip." I was beyond frustrated because WE KNEW FOR YEARS THE PROBLEM WAS MY HIP. He wasn't listening to me! He even asked me if he had talked about surgery the last time I saw him and I told him YES. So to wrap up the appointment, he gives me a half-assed hip exam and requests that my PCP put in a referral for orthopedic surgery...again. My depression hits its lowest point. I even contemplated suicide and had to start therapy. Overall, I was not in a good place.

I don't hear anything about the referral for months so I call and they tell me there are no orthopedic surgeons at the moment. So I make another appointment but this time I see a different doctor that we will call Dr. I because she was the one who put in the request for the referral. She was amazing! She listened to me, didn't interrupt me, and she worked to make sure we got details regarding any hold ups so I wasn't left in the dark. She even performed a standard hip exam on me to measure how bad my hip got. Anyway, she finds out that yes - everyone with the clinic card does not currently have an orthopedic surgeon because the contract with the previous one ended and was not being renewed. She encouraged me to keep calling, at least once at month, to check on the status of their hiring.

My first call was in February of 2019 and not only was I told that there still wasn't any orthopedic surgeons...the county had also decided to no longer cover hip surgery as of this year.

I was LIVID.

I made an appointment with Dr. P and was seen literally the next day because I was DONE. We gathered all the info we could to prove to them that I had been seeking treatment for years. She listened and she took me seriously. She put in a new referral that aimed to get me a one time approval, ordered physical therapy, and referred me back to the specialist so we could get this done. She also prescribed me gabapentin to help me out with some of the nerve pain I was experiencing because as of the end of 2018, my hip pain was causing issues with my knee. As of 2019, my ankle and foot started being affected as well. She theorized it was due to nerve damage and so she put a note on my referral for it to get done ASAP.

Which brings us to the present. I went to physical therapy and it caused me to flare up...repeatedly. I ended up having to resign from my job (that I only had for a month) because my absences were atrocious and I was constantly having to update my accommodations just so we can attempt to have my absenteeism reduced. (In the end, I had to chose between voluntarily resigning and be eligible for rehire in 30 days or risk being terminated and not being eligible for 3 years.) My last physical therapy appointment was Friday, April 12th because during my exercises my femur caught on my hip bone and caused a severe flare. The physical therapist put a stop on my therapy until after I saw the specialist because it was only causing me more trauma.

Today, April 17th, I saw the specialist and we finally figured out why I never received the treatment I needed. To reiterate, we are on year 5since I first got on the county aid and started seeking help from them.

It turns out, all of my referrals were done incorrectly.

I was being referred to the local orthopedic department which can not do the procedure I need. On top of that, the specialist was trying to order me an arthroscopy for DIAGNOSTIC purposes - not an arthroscopic surgery. Somewhere in the mix there was massive miscommunication and things were not being documented correctly. My PCPs had no idea how to handle my case so it ended up being mishandled entirely.

Essentially, the specialist brought in someone from an internal department and they are now taking over my case because this is grounds for a class action law suit and they want to avoid that at all costs. She explained to me where the block happened and that they were no longer going through my primary care physician for referrals because it would risk continued miscommunication.

They admitted that the fault was on them. I understand why this happened because the hospital I go through is in a major transitional phase and they've been tearing down the trauma center and relocating, building new clinics, updating, etc. I even told her and the specialist that I am not mad at any one person, that I do understand - but they have to understand that I was a victim of this. I experienced YEARS of suffering that affected my physical and mental health, my education, and my ability to work. My condition has devolved to a point it never should have and it may have permanent life altering repercussions. My surgery may go from a simple fix to needing a replacement which would result in at least 2 more replacements later on in my life since they do have an expiration date and I am only 24 going on 25.

TLDR; because of the transitional state my hospital is in plus the fact that I was jumping between multiple doctors, there was miscommunication regarding the treatment for my FAI and it led to my referrals being done incorrectly...and I suffered for it. I am now waiting on a referral that will send me up to San Antonio where they will be taking arthroscopic images of my hip joint so that we can further determine how to proceed with treatment. I may pursue legal action, but ultimately I just want something done so I can get on with my life.

⬇️

So why am I posting all of this information here?

Because of the fact that I am now out of a job again, plus everything that I had explained above, I am opening up EMERGENCY commissions. We have bills to pay and we also need to be able to pay for this trip to San Antonio and unfortunately, my husband (who is currently employed by my previous employer, go figure) is not making enough to keep us afloat. We are in the red and will not make it through May at this point so we are already working on selling some extra stuff and getting ready to make some major sacrifices.

I mostly write Victuuri but am willing to discuss other pairings. If you have any questions regarding what I will or will not write, just shoot me a message on twitter and we can discuss it.

Commissions will be pay what you want - no minimum. I'll literally take anything at this point. I know my writing can be a bit inconsistent so I don't feel right setting a price. Here's the link to my ko-fi page.

All I ask is to please understand if the commission takes a while to get out. I have real life things to take care of and sometimes my medicine makes it hard for me to stare at my computer screen. Just trust that I will get it done.

I'm currently working on a piece for hentipie. I'm hoping to have it out this weekend so prepare to see that soon! It won't be posted here due to the rating though, so you'll have to look for it on AO3.

Anyway, for those of you who took the time to read this ridiculous chunk of text, thank you. If you can't help me out financially that is perfectly fine. I know and understand the struggle so don't feel bad by my sob story. I just needed to get this out.

Talk to y'all again soon! <3

-Sae

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