#plus even if i made her generic staff shed just be on the receiving end of the lie with es... which is just canon until the very end adfsdf

[good-beans]

(Milgram self-insert oc masterpost hehe)

Name: For the sake of posting online I’ll call her Rose!

Color: #E7355B [the pink in the art]

Age: I guess she’d be 20 given when Milgram started huh.

Status: Milgram Staff, Machine Technician

Symbols/imagery: ballet/musical theater, science experiments

Song genre: very similar to Mahiru's, something upbeat and extra pop-y

Tentatively she's number 011? She's not really prisoner but she's also not free to come and go, so I'm not actually sure if she'd get a number (Edit: I've decided she'll actually be 012. Staff is given the 01X range, and even though Es doesn't actively have a number they'd be staff member 011, making her 012.)

Story: Since the project is supposed to be realistic/present day, the mv machine would be brand new and unpredictable tech, so they’d want someone keeping up on maintenance and making sure the brain-invasive process won’t cause any harm to the prisoners. Rose was studying abroad in Japan working on some cool neuroscience tech (irl I know nothing about technology or brains but shh) and she stumbled upon some secret tech/plans from Milgram. Long story short, she was dragged into the experiment to make sure things ran smoothly.

Writer's Reasoning: She’s really fun for me to play around with, as she allows me to work with a character who has a tiny bit of pull over Es’ mindset in conversation but not the final decision (aka mirroring the voting system), and someone who is simultaneously trapped in the prison but has a reason to see all the canon content.* I really enjoy the character interactions and dynamics Milgram has set up so far, so it’s been super fun seeing how things change for better and worse when someone not quite aligned with either Milgram/the prisoners is thrown into the mix!

*As much as I love dramatic irony in fiction, it would drive me crazy if I knew every detail of of the vds/mvs but Rose didn't – and every single Milgram character is The Worst Communicator Ever so I couldn’t justify that she’d hear it secondhand from them...

Story roles:

She’s a bit conflicted -- she’s officially Milgram staff and knows she should remain neutral on the prisoners, since she won’t be allowed to interfere with the process/executions. At the same time, her job description is literally “make sure the machine doesn't hurt them and everyone's safe :)” and she's way too emotional to avoid getting hopelessly attached to everyone 😅

I really enjoy the theory that the machine extracts videos based off of priming, so one of Rose’s duties involves listening in on the interrogation and making sure there’s been enough material discussed/not too much time has passed overall (hence the ringing of the bell happening at different lengths for each vd -- That's her ringing it :3). She then watches the mvs along with Es to make sure there are no machine glitches, and know how to calibrate it better for next time.

(IEdit: I've since decided to add in official trial mvs, but before when I wasn't ready to tackle that:) She has to run some tests on the machine to make sure things are calibrated correctly, so she'd extract little things here and there. It gives me the opportunity to think up lyric snippets and recurring symbols for her without worrying about full encompassing music videos.

I'm not afraid to admit she can fall into Mary Sue territory every so often by being everyone's friend, because it's less about "aw everyone likes her" and more about "canon is too painful rn and I need a fix-it tool to take care of these guys and give them hugs and tell them someone forgives them and cares about them and unfortunately these characters wouldn't let anyone less than a friend do that." Rest assured she's definitely not perfect and will fuck everything up on occasion :3

Miscellaneous: Whenever I play around with normal au ideas she's still working on the machine (but in a public, more ethical setting), and she's Mahiru's roommate :) Her character isn't super focused on love, but if I had to pick a cover song it'd be Stickybug II. It's very much my vibe, the lyrics fit well enough (better than most songs, at least lol) and it's one of my favorites out of my limited knowledge of unchosen Deco songs! (Edit, I've actually given her non-deco cover songs hehe)

So yeah, I hope she's not too boring without a cool crime to decipher, but I wanted to share since I was really proud of her! It took a bit of tinkering to find a way to fit her into a perfect secret-third-thing role that runs very smoothly with all of canon, so I was very excited!

[blazardragon]

Korotan D: English Translation of Chapter 4 

Here’s chapter 4 of Korotan D, aka the return of the ship-teasing! There’s even an actual boat! This chapter will make Karumana fans very happy. Nagikae fans, too, but you may find Nagisa’s denseness a little bit agonizing (you’ll see what I mean) ^^;

That being said, Nagisa and Karma are simply doing what they do best (being ‘positive’ and being a ‘prankster’, respectively) and being great friends in general, so if you’re not a fan of the ships but are a fan of the characters, I’m sure you’ll find this chapter enjoyable as well!

Maehara and Okano get a lot of time together as well. We also see some Yada, Kanzaki, Hara, and more Okajima!

Chapter 4 - Temptation Time

When shooting a film, only a little bit of time is spent with the camera actually rolling, as most of the time is spent on preparations. One must patiently wait for the actors and setting to be arranged, and sometimes it’s imperative that one concentrate on one’s acting in order to make a shot last for only a few seconds.

Preparing for the possibility that filming will resume shortly, Kayano was outside her trailer and rereading the script.

“Haruna, you wanna go take a break in my trailer?”

Jerome said from behind. Kayano responded with a smile,

“No, I’m alright. If I return to a cool trailer, my senses will go all out of order, so I’m staying outside.”

“You’re so serious. You need to relax more.”

Jerome placed his hand on Kayano’s shoulder. Jerome has been like this since the press conference for the production announcement. She tried to shake off his hand by turning her body to the side, but Jerome stuck to her persistently.

“There are cases where love begins at the work place. You and I are playing roles who are attracted to each other, so our acting will be more realistic if we attract each other in private.”

“If you’re a pro actor, you have to be able to play a role you have no experience with. You don’t need to kill someone to play the role of a murderer, do you?”

Kayano glared.

“Today, I’ve reserved a rooftop bar for your sake. Once filming has finished, let’s deepen our friendship.”

“Impossible. I promised to meet with my friends today.”

Kayano’s eyes met with Yada’s and Kanzaki’s, who were checking the condition of the props right in front of her.

“……That guy, is he always like that?”

Yada asked Kayano in Japanese, who nodded with a grimace.

Jerome looked behind him, and began to look Yada and Kanzaki up and down.

“Is that so? Then how about your friends come with us? Your friends are cute, too. We can give them a welcome party!”

Kayano was completely astounded by how casual Jerome was being.

“Haruna, you’re up soon!”

Just then, the assistant director called out to her, and Kayano separated herself from Jerome. After doing so, Jerome approached Kanzaki and Yada.

“Hey cuties! Today, I’m going with Haruna to a rooftop bar once we’re done filming, but she was wondering if she could bring girls like yourselves with her. Girls are most definitely welcome!”

Yada and Kanzaki reflexively exchanged glances.  

“Kaede-chan looked really reluctant, so he has to be lying.”

Yada stepped forward as if to shield Kanzaki.

“We really would like to go, but we promised the rest of our class that we’d go sightseeing with them today. I’m sorry.”

“Tch, you might not ever receive a second invitation from the Jerome.”

Jerome gave up quickly and looked for another target. He found and approached Okuda, who was carrying some chemicals.

 Okuda was carrying the chemicals used for special effects when Jerome suddenly appeared before her eyes, causing her to stop in her tracks from surprise.

“Hey, you’re cute. What’re you doing?”

“Eh, um, that’s…”

For a shy person like Okuda, an overfamiliar man like Jerome was the most difficult type to deal with.

“Are you so deeply moved that you can’t speak? Don’t push yourself. After all, the Jerome is right before your eyes.”

Jerome gently hugged Okuda’s shoulders. Okuda stiffened up with a start. As if bound by a spell, Okuda couldn’t move. Her lips moved, but the words wouldn’t come out.

“Take off your glasses. I’m sure you’ll be even more beautiful.”

Just as Jerome stretched out his hand to touch Okuda’s face,

“Hey, Jerome!”

Without either of them knowing it, Karma was standing behind Jerome. Noticing that a turbulent air was mixed in with his usual smile, Okuda, as if breaking the spell, uttered the words,

“I- I’m alright, Karma-kun!”

With the sound of her voice, her legs moved as well, making her able to leave Jerome’s arms.

“What do you want?”

Jerome glared at Karma, aware of the turbulent air emanating from him. Karma was nearly the same height as Jerome, so even as they faced each other, physically, neither was outdone by the other.

“Now now, take it easy. I don’t intend on hindering a star, after all.”

Jerome brushed off Karma’s hand in response to Karma overfamiliarly patting his shoulder.  

“My shoulder isn’t cheap, you know?”

“Ah, sorrrrry, your pick-up lines were so cheap that I thought your shoulder must be, too. I don’t have the money to pay for that, so I’ll be going now~”

Feeling Jerome’s gaze behind him, Karma escorted Okuda away as if to guard her.

“Uh, um, thank you.”

“It’s fine. Let’s hurry and go over there. That guy’s gonna start stinking very soon.”

“Eh!?”

“I had you make that film that starts melting when it’s attached to someone, remember? I prepared some with durian* kneaded into it and stuck it on Jerome’s shoulder, so he’s going to begin smelling like durian any moment now.”

Karma stuck out his tongue.

At first, the girls of Class E were fangirling over each and every move the globally popular star Jerome had made, but as they got used to him, his casualness began to really put them off.

“Jerome’s got a great face, but he’s way overfamiliar. Plus, he’s narcissistic and pushy!”

Yada expressed her shock, and Okano, who was next Yada, agreed.

“He really is! That overfamiliarity is just like Maehara’s! It’s infuriating!”

“Me!? I’m nothing like that!”

Maehara protested upon receiving such a blow.

“Well, you flirt with the girls at the souvenir shop by the temple, don’t you!?”

“I’m just talking with them to teach them some local phrases!”

“And just what kinds of phrases are you teaching them, exactly!?”

“Um, things like ‘You’re cute,’ and ‘How about eating dinner with me tonight?’, and……”

As Maehara talked about his local phrases, everyone suddenly boiled into a rage from his seemingly earnest treatment of the subject.

“That’s called ‘flirting’!”

Every single one of Okano’s 540 kicks made a direct hit on Maehara’s face.

Somewhere else, Jerome, in ill-spirits because his attempts at flirting were unsuccessful, took notice of a stuntman equipped for filming. The stuntman quickly rotated his well-honed muscular body, warming up with repeated high kicks, low kicks, roundhouse kicks, and elbow strikes as if to confirm his various attacks.

“Hey, Rawan. You wanna have a little bout with the Jerome?”

One of the highlights of the film is a fight scene which Jerome’s substitute, the stuntman Rawan, was appointed to do. Although Jerome has high physical ability, he hasn’t received any martial arts training, so in order to complete Nathonni’s ideal action scene, he needed a stuntman who was skilled in martial arts. Believing that he could do it himself, Jerome was dissatisfied with the decision.

Rawan glanced at Jerome with a scowl.

“You stink terribly of durian. Did you eat some?”

“I haven’t. Come on and try throwing a punch or kick at me!”

Rawan threw a jab with his right. Jerome dodged as he waved.

“What was that? Is that all you’ve got? Try more seriously!”

Provoked, Rawan let out a high kick. His foot stopped precisely three centimeters before Jerome’s face.

“Woah!?”

Jerome let out a pitiful yelp and shed some cold sweat.

“Hey, don’t go full serious on me!”

Terasaka watched Jerome withdraw while he muttered excuses, unwilling to admit defeat.

That stuntman is incredibly skilled……

 “Great work, everybody!”

With the day’s filming coming to an end, the staff began to withdraw. Just as Kayano was about to return to her trailer, Jerome came up beside her.

“Haruna, your acting was as great as ever today. It feels like the days are getting colder.”

“Thank you. Fortunately, yes.”

Jerome closed the distance between him and Kayano, and then spoke in a whisper,

“I bet our re-take of the kissing scene will go just smoothly.”

Kayano’s face was immediately dyed with a bright red. Thinking that her embarrassment was because of him, Jerome smiled.

Then, one more person broke into the conversation.

“Jerome, Haruna! You two were great today! Let’s all go out to eat!”

With the crisis of the staff’s mass withdrawal currently averted, Nathonni was so enthusiastic you’d think he was already drunk.

“I’m sorry, director. I promised my classmates I’d be with them today.”

“You should certainly cherish the friends you made at school! Jerome, today, you and I will relax and drink together!”

“Uhh, I kind of made a reservation, so…”

“Jerome told me he rented out a rooftop bar.”

When Kayano told him this, Nathonni’s eyes peeled wide open.

“Drinking there by yourself is totally unfair! Let me in, too!”

With a merry smile on his face, Nathonni held Jerome’s shoulders and forcibly dragged him along.

“Have fun!”  

Kayano waved at the two as she watched their backs.

From behind her, someone told her “Nice work”.

When she turned around, she found that everyone from Class E was behind her.

“Great work, everyone!”

Although Kayano’s expression was hard just a moment ago, her face lit up in an instant.

Near the temple, there was a place where the width of the roadway was widened. There were vehicles called Tuk-Tuks** made up of bikers pulling along customers riding in rickshaws behind them, and they were lying in wait for tourists.

“Oh, I want to try riding one of those!”

Kayano was in high-spirits. Terasaka went on ahead to speak with the drivers and secured some Tuk-Tuks for Class E to ride.

“You’re amazing, Terasaka! You’ve really made progress with your English!”

One of the drivers beckoned towards Kayano as she expressed her admiration.

“Everyone, get on, get on!”

Everyone laughed once they heard his splendid Japanese.***

“What!?”

“I said what!? Come on! It’s fine that I used Japanese since I still managed to arrange this properly!”

“Sure, sure, thank you.”

Laughing as she turned aside Terasaka’s protests, she sat in one of the sunburned seats of the Tuk-Tuk. Okuda, Nagisa, and Karma followed behind her. The Tuk-Tuk traveled along the red dirt road peculiar to the tropics. In stark contrast to the daytime weather, a cool breeze blew through the customer seats, healing Kayano’s tiredness from a long day’s work.

“The wind feels so good.”

Until now, she had only gone to-and-fro between the hotel and the filming site, so this was the first time she had experienced the local air. Sitting opposite from her, Nagisa’s eyes were fixed on Kayano as she felt the tropical night breeze. For a while, everyone quietly gazed upon the landscape, but then Karma opened his mouth.

“You sure do have some hardships to deal with~”

“Eh?”

“That philanderer, Jerome, is a pretty nasty guy. Wouldn’t co-starring with a guy like that hinder your performance?”

Kayano smiled wryly.

“I don’t know…… I think that I can concentrate on my own acting, but…”

“You’re worried about Kayano, too, right, Nagisa?”

Having the question suddenly dumped on him, Nagisa stared in puzzlement as he answered.

“Hm? I don’t think there’s anything to worry about.”

“Really?”

“I often hear about just how much effort she’s made in this world. It’s alright, Kayano’s blade isn’t so fragile that her acting would dull from a little thing like that.”

Nagisa confidently encouraged her, proud of his classmate. On one hand, she was happy to hear him say that, but Karma caught a fleeting glance of a somewhat disappointed expression from Kayano. He leaned back against his seat and looked up.  

That’s not what I was talking about …... You really are dense.

Returning to the city center, Class E boarded a pleasure boat which floats on the river that flows through the city.

“Since we’re all the way here, let’s do some touring! I’ve already found some places that look quite nice!”

Hara confidently said this the day before after doing a thorough preliminary investigation.

There was a restaurant inside the ship so that customers could eat as they viewed the riverside scenery. A landscape found only in the tropics was spread out before them, with large banyan trees growing their nectar upon the many branches extending outward from their trunks. Scattered here and there, duckweed was floating upon the river’s surface. The shoreline was pigmented by the many restaurant terraces and their colorful lights. They slowly made their way through the inside of the boat.

Everyone got excited once they saw the variety of richly colorful dishes being carried to the tables.

“Woah, there’s a ton of coriander in here!”

“Awesome! There’s so much shrimp!”

“This reminds me of that ship we were on at Fukuma Island.”

“At the time, we were preparing for an assassination, so we didn’t really get to enjoy the food. Today, let’s enjoy it all as much as we want!”

Muramatsu and Yoshida greedily devoured the cuisine.

The local cuisine struck Hara’s tongue as well.

“This is delicious! The seasoning they use here is nothing like the seasoning they use in the ethnic dishes you can eat in Japan. Everything tastes so vivid, and there are spices I’ve never used before, so this will make an excellent reference!”

She admired the food as she tried to guess which ingredients were used.

While the passengers were enjoying their meals, a show had begun on the stage at the side of the stern. Sexy young women clad in bikinis entered the room and danced along the fierce rhythm of the music. Maehara whistled at their passionate dance as they vigorously shook their hips.

“Woah, I can’t afford to miss this!”

Okajima stood up from his seat, made his way to the front row, and began taking pictures of the dancers.

Right when the sexy dancers grasped the decorative torches at the sides of the stage and appeared to bring the flames to their faces, fire suddenly blasted forward. This startled Okajima out of his wits, causing him to fall on his backside.

“Hoooot, are you kidding me!?”

The customers on board applauded the unimaginably wild fire blowing performance. Class E, as well, sent the dancers an applause.

“I’m having so much fun!”

Kayano showed Nagisa a full smile.

“I’m glad. Since you were so tired, I was worried that we were forcing you along with us.”

“Not at all, this is our graduation trip, after all! To be honest, I wanted to tour this place, too!”

Hearing Kayano say this, Nagisa smiled in relief.

With the flashy performance at an end, this time, live mood music was being played on stage. The other customers stood up and began dancing. The customers who came as a couple found their partners, faced one another, and easily and loosely danced with each other on this very ship. With a smile, Kayano watched old couples intertwine their hands together as they entrusted their bodies to the music.

“……That’s so nice.”

Maehara stood up.

“Hey, let’s dance.”

Okano resisted as he tried to pull her up.

“No way. I can’t dance.”

“What? All you have to do is move your body like that, so dancing’s gotta be easy, right? I’ll teach you.”

“……Sure.”

With Okano’s nod of approval, she began to move her hands and feet according to Maehara’s movements, making mistakes along the way.

“See? You can do it!”

Maehara danced as he showed her the general pattern.

“Yowza! You two are hot!”

In response to Muramatsu’s teasing, Okano made even more mistakes and became dead silent.

Nagisa was astonished as he gazed at the two dancing.

“That’s Maehara-kun for you. He has polished his motor skills even further.”

“Hey, everyone else should dance, too! Just rock your bodies to the music, and you’ll look alright!”

Maehara stirred up the rest of Class E, who were all sitting down. Feeling more at ease thanks to being overseas, everyone stood up and joined in.

Kayano invited Nagisa to dance with a casual tone, but inside, her heart was pounding.

“Eh? ……Okay, sure.”

Standing up, Nagisa watched those around him and attempted to imitate their movements with his body. Kayano rocked her body to match Nagisa’s, enveloped in a feeling of bliss.  

Notes:

*Durian is a large fruit infamous for its smell. Wikipedia describes it as smelling like rotten onions or raw sewage, but I’ve also heard it described as “really bad feet”. I’ve yet to smell one in person, though. Also, the scent is known to persist for several days, so Jerome may have to give his shirt several washings.  

** It’s probably best just to look at Google Images, but to expand upon what a Tuk-Tuk is, it’s a three-wheeled vehicle, kind of like if you took the front of a motorcycle and the back of a bus and smashed them together.

*** Putting a note here because it took me a few seconds to get it, but the joke is that Kayano thought Terasaka’s English must have been really good to arrange a Tuk-Tuk for them, when, in fact, he simply spoke to the driver in Japanese.

I’ll give Jerome credit, he’s smart enough to notice the turbulent air behind Karma’s smile, and he realized that he shouldn’t try picking a fight with him, either. He’s not as much of an airhead as I thought he’d be. He still has one heck of an ego, though.

Karasuma may have to give up his throne to Nagisa as “densest character in the series”.  

Next chapter is called Thief Time, and it’s a monster of a chapter. 15 pages! Just a warning in advance, but it’s probably going take me about a week to finish this one! We get to see some action from Class E, though, so look forward to that!

[angeltriestoblog]

Sophomore year recap, vol. 1

Funny how I only ever go on this blog to give sporadic life updates, which are honestly just lengthier versions of what goes on my Instagram dump. But, I'd hate to let this practice die—plus, I love to write, so it continues for another year. I recently wrapped up my first semester of sophomore year—yet another testament to how fast time flies by—and it's safe to presume that it was the most rewarding chapter of my stay in Ateneo, thus far. I admit I did spend most of my freshman year in my comfort zone (while still managing to make my fair share of rookie mistakes, go me!). Although I don't completely blame myself for not being able to adjust from the get-go, I do admit that my life would have been much easier if I didn't take so long to warm up to the idea of embracing change and taking risks. Upon realizing this, there was a certain pressure that came with it to make up for lost time and try to do as much I could before my body eventually gives out.

For starters, I became more active in the three organizations I am a member of, all of which demanded so much of my energy, and pushed my brain power and time management skills to the test, but were very fulfilling to be in nonetheless. (A little note from Editing Angel: This is where this post starts to look a little bit like a LinkedIn profile.)

I signed up to be a part of the Sanggunian, the student government of the University, under the Commission on Mental Health, since I am an advocate for challenging the stigma that surrounds this issue, as well as providing the proper support to those who need it. I was eventually put under Secretariat, where I was in charge of the databases and documents, taking minutes of the meeting, and updating attendance and post trackers. Although it wasn't the department I had originally planned on getting into, I did enjoy learning about the more technical side of the team and took pride in the fact that I was able to put some of the lessons I learned in ITM over intersession to good use. And by that I mean conditional formatting, but whatever ok!

But, at some point the forces of the universe decided to pull some strings and bring me to my first choice: Humans of Ateneo (HOA), a page that aims to share stories of those within the Ateneo community with the hopes of inspiring others. To this day, I work there as a literary editor, who is basically in charge of transcribing recordings of interviews and turning them into the text posts our audience sees on their Facebook timelines. I love what I do right now, because not only do I feel endlessly inspired by each story of resilience I encounter, but also fulfilled since I am partly responsible for getting that story out there for the rest of the world to see. But, I guess it wouldn't be entirely wrong to say that my favorite story so far has to be Mayor Vico Sotto's, especially because HOA Core (minus Marice, and plus Yanna) and I travelled all the way to Pasig City Hall to hear it from him in the flesh. I can confirm that he is definitely more good-looking in person, that he establishes eye contact when he speaks, and that he is one of the most insightful and substantial human beings I've ever met.

Since being a part of the team, I have also had access to opportunities both within the sub-commission and Sanggu, as a whole. I've been given leadership positions that allowed me to step up to the plate, one of which was directing a video we launched in celebration of World Mental Health Day. My co-project head Bel and I had to conceptualize it from scratch based solely on a spoken word poem given to us, and plan and plot its shooting over the course of one week—definitely a feat given our conflicts in schedule, and the unpredictable weather. Next year, I'll be pretty hands-on when it comes to manning the Peer Support Group of our commission, as I have been assigned as a member of the core team, so that's definitely something to watch out for.

I've attended active listening workshops to help me be better in tending to the needs of others: by either providing them with a newfound support system, or sharing sound advice. I was a part of the sub-core team behind Humans of Ateneo: IRL, where prestigious alumni were invited to speak on their journeys, much like three HOA posts come to life. I also ended up emceeing a freshman drug talk all by myself, because I was only informed at the very last minute that my co-host had other commitments to attend to. I remember practically shaking from the nerves and squealing right in front of the speakers that day, but I managed to pull through with more confidence and less awkward finger guns than I thought possible.

I think this is the org where I took the most initiative and was therefore the busiest, but I didn't mind at all because I was surrounded by such wonderful people. I met most of my team over intersession during a workshop that I wasn't even wholeheartedly willing to attend (because it coincided with what was my last chance to catch Ben&Ben live on their Limasawa Street tour), and thus wasn't expecting much out of. But, we meshed so well together almost instantly as we opened up to one another about experiences and secrets we only would have shared to our closest friends. The acceptance and belongingness was palpable from that point on, and it continues to manifest in how strong our bond is right now.

Aside from that, I got in The GUIDON, the University's student publication, as a Features writer. This is going to sound like such a humble brag, but I honestly didn't expect to be accepted. I'm well aware of how rigorous the week-long application process is, I got the news from friends who failed to make the cut and even saw it for myself during the general assembly they held specifically for applicants. I remember checking my e-mail and being greeted by a list of requirements I needed to accomplish for both of the staffs I applied for: mock articles, interviews, live tweets that all needed to show my unique writing style and authentic take on issues both in and outside the four walls of the campus, that were so overwhelming in scope that I had to call up a friend just to yell in her ear for 10 straight minutes. For the next few days after, tears were shed, friends were ghosted, drafts were created then scrapped, fished out of the Recently Deleted folder, and revised in an endless and vicious cycle—I don't think I had ever written as eloquently, gone as long without checking my phone, or listened to only one playlist on loop for literal days prior to those moments, and yet I was still very unsure of my chances because I knew I was up against some tough competition: veteran staffers of high school publications, and liberal arts majors who looked like they had more personality in their thumbs than I did in my entire body. I remember beating myself up for backing out of my second choice (hi Vantage), which would significantly decrease my chances of getting in. It's just that I knew I was incapable of submitting anything that wasn't half-assed at that point, and I couldn't bear to show them anything that I myself could not give an Angel Seal of Approval.

Thankfully, all of my hard work paid off eventually. Only two days after I had submitted the folder containing my requirements to the respective editor, I was working on a paper in a cafe (the table adjacent to the door of Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf, Robinsons Galleria, to be very exact) when I received the acceptance letter in my inbox. I burst into tears, crumpled to the floor, and replied with the most articulate response I could muster: “SKLDFJSDLKFJSDLKFJSDLFJSLFSDKJ THANK YOU SO MUCH I am literally crying in the middle of this coffee shop.... thank you.... so much....”

As of this writing, I've published two articles under Features: one about the ghosting phenomenon that remains prevalent in romantic relationships, and another about the experiences of Ateneans with autism spectrum disorder. My job honestly feels like both work and a vacation at the same time, because it allows me to talk about a diverse set of topics with interesting people who are experts in the field, while doing what I feel like I'm best at. But, since a part of me will always consider Vantage my TOTGA, I took on some extra work for them and wrote a film review on "G!", a movie that came out as part of the Pista ng Pelikulang Pilipino earlier this year, which has proven itself to be the worst I've seen in my entire life for reasons I cannot even begin to explain. I didn't necessarily have high expectations of it upon seeing the trailer, but I hyped myself up for it nevertheless. I even bought tickets for me and my friend Christine online because I was afraid that they would be sold out, and we dashed out of our MSYS classroom as soon as our professor said goodbye to book a Grab and hurry to SM North EDSA to make it to our screening... only to barge in the theater and see that we were the only two people in the cinema. I mean, there was one couple in the far corner, but they didn't look very present. In addition to that, I did a food review on a JSEC stall called Chopsticks. I honestly think that food is the most challenging topic to write about, because it's hard to convey how something tastes. When someone asks me to describe the viand I'm eating, I often end up just giving them a spoonful so they can see for themselves. But, I hopped on it anyway, because how could I even say no to sampling an entire menu of Chinese food for free? Several plates of dimsum and chicken later, I gave them a well-deserved five star rating and consider myself as a frequent diner. The experience was made extra fun since I was able to chat with the owner of the business, and my photographer who turned out to be someone I followed on Instagram way back in 2015 and admired for how clean and curated her feed was! (Hi, Kim and Alexis hehe)

As if all of the things mentioned above weren't already enough, I also covered a talk on the future of scientists in the Philippines (which I also have an article on—this goes to show just how diverse the scope of my work can get), attended workshops on feature writing and the relation of journalism and mental health, participated in a rally against professors involved in sexual harassment cases in the Ateneo (pretty badass behavior, if you ask me!), and became a facilitator for a high school publication in this event called Point One. I guess I have The GUIDON to thank for my lack of writer's block: they've managed to keep my brain running on hyperdrive, and my creative juices flowing more than they ever have before.

Last but not the least, of course I chose to stay in my home organization, ACTM. Although I didn’t run for any position or apply to be a part of the Leaders Core (yet), I did my best to make myself visible and show my support in any of the events we participated in or projects that we spearheaded. I signed up as a part of the logistics subcore for the annual Prepcourse, where I helped out with set design and ran some errands for officers in the different booths they manned throughout that day. I honestly have a soft spot for the project, since I remember that the first time I felt genuinely happy during freshman year was during my own Prepcourse (Orsem didn't really do it for me, sorry friends) so even though I missed the chance to be a facilitator, I still wanted to be a part of the event in some way. I also hung out with blockmates and friends all throughout Tambay Week, supported our candidates for Mr. and Ms. SOM, as well as our dance team for RIB eliminations, and dressed up as Kim Possible for the annual Halloween party we held—I was even able to go with Ron Stoppable, thanks to my friend Iverson, who dressed up as him as a surprise.

Although the obvious highlight of my stay in ACTM so far has to be attending LEAP, a three-day leadership training seminar in Iba, Zambales. I remember this particular moment where I was wandering around the beachfront, lowkey frolicking in the water, while my groupmates were playing capture the flag. (In my defense, I was never the physically adept type of person, and knew I'd be helping my team out more if I stayed out of the playing area and cheered on them from the sidelines. But, anyway, I digress.) I could see the golden flecks of sunlight glistening on the waves, and the froth from the seawater hitting my toes, and when I looked back beyond the shore, I saw my friends having fun, running back and forth across the sand. As cliche as it sounds, I couldn't help but mutter to myself, "Wow."

Because at that time last year, I clearly remember being slumped on my couch, scrolling through one LEAP-related IG story after another, feeling this sense of FOMO that I didn't know how to deal with. On one hand, I hated that I wasn't part of something that looked equal parts fun and value-adding, but at the same time, I knew that if I were there, I'd be sticking out like a sore thumb and suffering all the more because I was at the point where social interaction had become physically painful for me. Maybe that's why this LEAP was extra special to me: besides all of the great people I met and the insights I picked up along the way, it served as a reminder of how far I've come, and how much farther I have to go during the rest of my stay in college.

(That honestly would have been the perfect way to end this post, but I have so much more I have to cover. How anti-climactic.)

Aside from my newfound love for organization life, I gained a lot of new friends and strengthened the ties I have with old ones. Back then, I was very selective of those I talked to and let in my circle: I let first impressions get the best of me, or allowed shyness to take center stage every time there was a chance to meet new people. Now, I'm close to both blockmates and batchmates: I go to their birthday celebrations, support events that they're a part of, hang out in their condo units to binge on fastfood, or sometimes just sit on the Matteo Steps with them in the middle of doing requirements to vent for 10 minutes before begrudgingly returning to our tables.

I miraculously also had time to sneak in some pretty fun stuff in my schedule despite my workload. Although I wasn’t able to prioritize making content for this blog, I got my writing on the national paper! It was in the first semester of my freshman year when I heard about Inquirer Youngblood from my English professor. Apparently, they accept essays about any topic under the sun from anyone aged 29 and below. Since I felt there would be no harm in trying, I crafted this little piece that aimed to show a different side of being an only child, as opposed to the “spoiled and entitled” stereotype that is usually stuck on us. I didn’t get my hopes up so as to not be disappointed, so when a couple of days had passed and my article wasn’t showing up on print, I gave up and moved on. Good thing my friend Bea sent me a photo of the September 8 issue of the newspaper (coincidentally the same day I got accepted into The GUIDON!), or else I wouldn’t have seen that I got published. I admit that even though writing is all I’ve ever really known since I was young, I’m not a hundred percent confident in my skill, nor do I always see the purpose behind what I do. But, it’s instances like that, that remind me of why I keep at it.

Another capital-G Great thing that happened was getting tickets to the UAAP men’s basketball championship game! As someone who made Ateneo her dream school at age five because of how much she loved the Blue Eagles, witnessing them end the season with a sweep and a championship was everything to me. And getting to do so with my closest friends in my block just made the experience even better than it was. Also, seeing Renzo Subido play in person—all my friends can attest to the fact that I was facing a huge moral dilemma mid-game, because every time he made a basket, I would end up cheering for him. (With a face like that, how could I not though)

I even found my way back in the gig scene after a long hiatus, with no less than Ang Bandang Shirley, Over October, and Munimuni welcoming me back with open arms. I had got tickets on a whim with my friend from my days as a full-on K-Pop stan, Reanna, even though it was the weekend before a big Accounting exam, if I remember correctly. But, I have no regrets: I have a feeling that very few moments in life can make me feel the way I did when Umaapaw (one of my favorite songs in the world) was being played right in front of me. Surprisingly, I didn't cry when that happened—same for Wait and Sa Hindi Pag-alala, but then again maybe I was too dazed to process what was going on.

I saw Ben&Ben just a week ago, which served as the perfect way to cap off this stressful semester. The last time I saw them was way back in October 2018: conflicts in schedule due to prior commitments, or location issues kept getting in the way that it's like they had to take matters into their own hands and head on over to Ateneo just so I could see them again. Although they didn't perform my favorite song, I can't exactly say that I was disappointed because nothing really beats the feeling of seeing them and singing along to tracks that have served as the soundtrack of my life, and are practically etched on my heart. (I am actually tearing up just writing this paragraph god am I emo! I miss them already, wow! Just wanna hear Araw-Araw live, what do I do about this!)

I also managed to finish all 10 seasons of Friends despite my irregular viewing patterns—I started it during our trip to the States before the school year began, and constantly teetered between watching one or two episodes as a reward for finishing a reading due the next day and binging one season during rare weekends that do not require working on deliverables but honestly could have been used to get ahead in lessons. This is a pretty big deal, considering that I have the attention span of a sleep-deprived cockroach and haven't finished a single White People Show since... well, Austin & Ally back in 2017 (which I actually marathoned on Dailymotion, but that's a story for another day). But, I guess there's just something special about this group of pals going through the motions of their everyday lives in the eccentric, sometimes borderline stupid ways that only they can, because I admit: the emotional investment was and is very, very real! I personally identify myself as a Chandler-Rachel hybrid now (thank you, Iverson), try to see which character the people I meet are like most out of fun, and argue to no end with anyone who ever claims that Ross and Rachel (1) were on a break, and (2) are endgame.

Most importantly, I was able to do all of this and still clinch a spot on the Dean's List. I started this semester on an optimistic note: I found all of my subjects interesting, and the professors who taught them, engaging. I'd even make notes on the readings the day before they were to be discussed in class, complete with pops of color here and there courtesy of my fineliner pens and Stabilo highlighters. But, once I reached the halfway point, my motivation started waning. Papers and quizzes, oral exams and video projects were thrown in my direction at breakneck speed: I often found myself cramming output for the sake of having something to submit, and not even having the time to look at readings due for discussion the following day. It came to a point where I thought of shifting out, because I felt I wasn't doing well enough in my majors to justify my stay. Sounds pretty stupid when I look back at it, I guess I simply mistook extreme stress and fatigue with falling out of love with the only program that I ever wanted to get in when I was applying for Ateneo. Thank God I didn't give up though, or else I wouldn't be able to enjoy the fruits of my labor right now. I honestly wasn't expecting stellar grades, considering the number of extracurricular commitments I took on, but now that they're there, I'm not complaining at all! Shoutout to my favorite professors of the semester: Mam Vaswani, who taught me that there is always room for improvement even in my own area of expertise; Sir Atienza, who made lectures feel like casual kwentuhans (or sometimes even chillnumans); and Sir Rebato, who broke the world record for longest patience in the world.

I guess it's safe to say that I am the happiest and most content I have been in a while, and although I am afraid of jinxing it, I feel like it's only gonna go upward from here. I am beyond excited to see where the new year and semester take me, because I know I'll do my part in making sure it's even better and brighter than this one. If you read up to this point, you deserve a pat on the back! Maybe you only scrolled to this point to see if there were any pictures with your face on them, but who cares! It adds to my website traffic, so thank you, happy holidays, and I wish you nothing but love and light always!

[floristil-blog]

Petal It Forward Participants Recount Stories of Delight, Surprise and Comfort

The team at City Line Florist in Trumbull, Connecticut, generated lots of positive press coverage, including segments from two local news stations, a post from a local blogger and some high-profile (and big) pictures in the Connecticut Post. The shop’s employees were especially enthusiastic about the effort to hand out about 1,000 bouquets: One employee, disappointed to be missing the giveaway due to a vacation, donated $100 to the effort, so that she could still be part of the “magic,” said Nicole Palazzo.

Tears of joy. Messages of thanks. Communities filled with flowers. These are just some of the stories coming in — and still being shared on social media — after last week’s Petal It Forward. Floral industry members in 467 cities in 50 states plus Washington, D.C., and Canada led 573 local Petal It Forward events on October 11. Throughout the country, industry segments worked together, and drew in community groups, to make the effort a success — boosting spirits and raising awareness about the powerful effect of giving and receiving flowers.

“I can’t tell you how many people immediately reached out to hug me after I handed them their bouquets,” said Nicole Palazzo of City Line Florist in Trumbull, Connecticut. “I had a lady tell me she just got diagnosed with cancer that day and just came from the hospital and we were the first people she saw. She broke down in tears.”

A lasting image of the day for Palazzo: flowers everywhere. “It really made me smile and feel warm and fuzzy to walk down the street and see each person who passed me with an armful of flowers,” she said. “It’s not something you see every day. I loved how Petal It Forward not only promoted acts of kindness and happiness but also flowers.”

That’s exactly the kind of message SAF Vice President of Marketing Jennifer Sparks said Petal It Forward was designed to convey.

“It’s the surprise element —when people unexpectedly receive flowers, and get the chance to make someone else’s day brighter — that gives Petal It Forward its charm,” said Sparks. “Whether people were direct recipients of flowers or the saw the stories and images on the news or social media, this nationwide effort brought a positive light to communities across the country and showed the true power of flowers to create smiles, at a time when the country needed it most.”

A local skateboarder in Encinitas, California, did a double- (and triple-) take when the Dramm & Echter team offered him flowers. “He loved the fact that it was just a random act of kindness,” said Lani Conklin, the company’s marketing manager. “He grabbed a bunch and joined the movement. He said, ‘With all the hate in the world today, finally people are doing some good.’”

Publications in nearly three dozen states and Canada covered Petal It Forward events this year, and thrilled recipients helped create a stream of positive social media stories. (Look for more coverage on the overall reach of the campaign in next week’s E-Brief.)

‘Such a Sight’: Participants Recount a Joyful Day

The feel-good stories from the day are overwhelming, but here are a few “favorite moments” from some Petal It Forward participants:

In Portland, Oregon, Michelle O’Brien of Goose Hollow Farms enlisted the help of her 10-year-old son. When the girls’ cross-country team from a local high school passed by, he charged after the runners and, to their surprise, gave them flowers. Later, when O’Brien and her staff were locking up, they saw a group of girls running nearby. “Sure enough, one of the girls was running in the middle of the pack with a bouquet still held high,” she said. “It was such a sight.”

“We absolutely loved bringing people some kindness and love through flowers,” O’Brien added. “There were many tears of joy shed. [It] shows a need for more things like this in our world.”

Abbey Shelton and the team from Rose Garden Florist in Paducah, Kentucky, spread their Petal It Forward joy to consumers around town and even visited several nursing homes, but it was an interaction with one particular man in front of a local market that most touched Shelton.

“We handed two roses to a gentleman and told him to keep one and give one away,” Shelton explained. “He replied to us that he was giving the food in his bag to a homeless lady. So, he was going to pass that flower with his food along to her. That was probably the best moment of the day — being a part of his kind gesture and making it doubly awesome.”

In Indianapolis, Bokay Florist was able to leverage its location in a “vibrant, artsy” village to reach a “diverse group of people,” said Colleen Sanders. The shop was featured in a glowing segment on WISH-TV. “We saw a lot of our regular customers, and met some new people,” Sanders said. “Being able to give something back to this community was extremely rewarding. My favorite moment was when a member of my team said, ‘This is energizing and gives me hope.’”

Michelle Jones of Flowers by Michelle in Las Vegas said her shop moved through 200 bouquets fast after setting up in a downtown area where they were able to surprise mostly local residents who are still dealing with the aftermath of the tragic shooting in that city.

The Bucks County Courier Times documented Ye Olde Yarley Florist’s efforts to give out 500 roses for Petal It Forward with a news story and a video. Noreen Gorka’s team of Happiness Ambassadors included staff, volunteers and the local police department. “It makes everyone smile,” Rick Gilchrist Jr. of Rick Gilchrist Flooring told the reporter, as he clutched a bunch of the roses. “No one is upset when you hand them flowers.”

“The recipients loved it and we have had great feedback on social media [and through] email and phone calls,” Jones said. “Many said that they either order from us or have received flowers from our shop. They were so appreciative.”

In Waldorf, Maryland, Lorrie Anderson of Country Florist teamed up with a nonprofit that helps adults with special needs and a hair salon to distribute bouquets around the county. “It is truly a great idea to impress upon people how much people love getting flowers,” she said.

Relles Florist in Sacramento handed out 5,000 stems — 1,500 bouquets — and scored an appearance on “Good Day Sacramento.” “I really enjoyed the preparation, the teamwork, but mostly I enjoyed the hugs from the strangers we meet,” said Alicia Relles “That look of surprise and total shock that we are actually giving things away to our community, without a catch.” The shop also created a fun short video for YouTube.

Segments Working Together

Many of the year’s most successful efforts relied on collaboration (and generosity) among industry segments, with wholesalers and growers offering donated and discounted flowers, along with planning and logistical support. Some highlights:

Bill Doran Company, headquartered in Rockford, Illinois, encouraged participation from nearly 270 of its retail customers in Petal It Forward, a powerful team effort that ended up distributing 32,500 bouquets and single-stem roses. One outreach that the team supported, at a local school in rural southern Illinois, created such high demand that the florist moved through 300 bouquets in an hour and had to call the Bill Doran branch for reinforcements.

In the suburbs of Chicago, FTD teamed up with Phillip’s Flowers to hand out 3,000 bouquets Wednesday morning at the Downers Grove Metra station and Wednesday evening at the Lombard. “It’s awesome,” one happy recipient said to reporters with the Daily Herald, who chronicled the giveaway. “I’m a huge flower person.”

Frank Adams Wholesale in Portland, Oregon, helped 20 florists do Petal It Forward events —and then had their own employees join the fun, too. With the support of more than a dozen farms, the company donated 100 boxes of flowers, totaling 10,000-plus stems, to florists in Oregon and southwest Washington.

“It was important for us to participate because we rarely get to see the end result of what flowers mean to people, and the experience renews our energy for what it is we do as wholesalers,” said Robyn Peterka, the company’s cut flower manager and buyer.

Tyler Meskers of Oregon Flowers in Aurora, Oregon, said the buildup to the event actually represented a highlight of his experience. Prepping his family’s flowers for Frank Adams felt akin to “wrapping Christmas presents,” he explained. (Oregon Flowers donated 1,880 lilies to Frank Adams and created a few dozen bunches to Petal Forward in their local community.)

DV Floral Group worked closely with Holland America and Sun Valley Floral Farms to provide more than 60 customers in New England, the Northeast and the Mid-Atlantic with more than 5,500 discounted bouquets. The company’s own employees also participated in the event. (Bill Prescott, marketing and communications specialist for Sun Valley Floral Farms, said the company donated 3,000 bouquets across four states; many customers also bought discounted royal lilies for the event.)

“Supporting your local flower growers provides the chance for businesses, like ours, to give back to our local community,” said Tyler Meskers of Oregon Flowers in Aurora, Oregon, to The Oregonian, in a round-up story of local efforts that included a slide show of more than 40 images. “Our goal is to promote positivity, happiness and joy with flowers grown from our family farm.”

“We had an amazing time,” said John Burk, e-commerce project manager. “It was such an incredible experience to see so many happy people all over town.” The company also produced a heartwarming video documenting their efforts.

Taylor Farms and Sakata Seed America passed out 400 bouquets on the streets in downtown Salinas. Kitayama Brothers and Green Valley Floral donated flowers for the effort. “I loved being part of this program. Seeing the look on people’s faces when we handed them bouquets was priceless,” said Katrina Gargiulo of Taylor Farms. The groups received media coverage from trade and local press and created a YouTube video documenting their efforts.

Dramm and Echter in Encinitas, California, organized more than a dozen industry companies to help with Petal It Forward. The grower did extensive pre-event promotion and provided product, handing out more than 6,000 stems. Their use of social media showed firsthand the fun reactions to getting flowers, like in this Facebook Live video.

Look for additional coverage of Petal It Forward in Floral Management magazine. Have a story from the day you want to share? We want to hear it. Email mwestbrook@safnow.org.

Petal It Forward is supported by the SAF Fund for Nationwide Public Relations, which funds nationwide PR efforts that promote flowers and florists to consumers through groundbreaking research and media outreach as well as AboutFlowers.com, AboutFlowersBlog.com and NationalFloristDirectory.com.

“Programs like Petal It Forward wouldn’t be possible without the forward-thinking companies who support the SAF PR Fund,” Sparks said. “Collectively, voluntary contributions from these growers, wholesalers, suppliers and importers are what keep SAF’s consumer marketing program wheels turning.”

One happy recipient, Cristian Diez, took to Instagram, where he has almost 30,000 followers, to share his delight. “So amigos, I was leaving the gym when one of my friends gave me this flower because today is #petalitforwardday such a beautiful act that immediately put me happy! I invite you all guys to celebrate it today! Happiness doesn’t result from what we get, but from what we give and this is so true!! Make a better day for somebody today!” Diez also posted the message to Facebook, where he has 11,000 followers.

  Hody’s Florist in Nashville delivered 200 bunches of flowers to first responders—and generated great press coverage in the process. Owner Bill Hitt told a local TV station they decided to honor first responders to show their support and appreciation for all they do.

  Abbey Shelton and the team from Rose Garden Florist in Paducah, Kentucky, spread their Petal It Forward joy to consumers around town and even visited several nursing homes.

  Taylor Farms and Sakata Seed America passed out 400 bouquets on the streets in downtown Salinas, California. Kitayama Brothers and Green Valley Floral donated flowers for the effort.

  In Oakland, California, Valerie Ow of J. Miller Flowers said everyone who participated in the event, either as a Happiness Ambassador or as a recipient, was “touched by the outpouring of goodwill and happiness, all while being surrounded by flowers!”

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