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wordsinwinters · 4 years ago

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Then Again, Part 26 (Peter Parker x Reader)

Masterlist (with AO3 links)

Total word count: 50,293

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24, Part 25,

Summary: After an intense argument and a forced-to-share-the-bed situation during their junior year decathlon trip, Peter and the Reader examine their faults and failings. As they attempt to fix their mistakes and improve their friendship, that friendship quickly begins to evolve into something else.

Slow burn fic in which all characters are included and their dynamics explored; multiple character POVs.

Betas: @girl-tips-from-satan and @fanboyswhereare-you

A/N: This isn’t my favorite chapter, but it’s been sitting in my drafts for over a year and I figured if I don’t post it now, I’ll never move on to the next. Additionally, as always, I live for feedback. 😉

Without further ado,

Then Again Part 26:

(Words: 2,825)

The bus ride will probably get boring soon, or at least as long as the girls stay asleep, but even as quiet as it is, it’s almost a perfect morning. Being early (around 6:00, I think?), there’s barely any light except street lamps and car lights, but some of the clouds on the right have caught a pretty bluish purple tinge. It reminds me of that Rainbow Fish book Aunt May used to read to me as a kid. To make it better, the morning air is chilly enough that the driver turned the heaters on low so it’s wrapped-in-a-blanket-while-it-snows warm in here. Although that also might be why, apart from general dirt and old gum, the strongest smell on the bus is salty grease— since the nearest heater is under the seat Flash spilled french fries and chicken nuggets in yesterday. It could be worse, though. I mean, it’s not necessarily a bad smell and the traffic isn’t horrible. It’s not the best, but it could definitely be louder and a lot slower. The field of flowing red tail lights ahead of us is oddly comforting, like a snail-slow pasture of mechanical color.

All in all, it’s a pretty cozy start for a dreaded five hour bus ride. It’s giving me quiet time to think. So that’s where I’m at. Or should be. I got some stuff organized in my head last night even if I keep getting distracted now. Well, it was more like a couple hours ago, since I wasn’t able to get to sleep for so long after we said goodnight. But anyway, I’m trying to focus. It’s just hard, even with both of them sleeping.

From my and Ned’s spot behind them, watching the girls’ heads gently shake and bump against each other as the bus shudders through potholes is kind of calming. They seem so peaceful from this angle, like two people who’ve never pranked me and Ned to the point we were nearly suspended, or kept us awake and annoyed by asking paradoxical hypothetical questions because they know how Ned and I will argue for days if we don’t agree on an answer, or anything else like that. It’s like finding two mischievous cats sleeping, curled up on a chair. It’s easier to appreciate them when they aren’t causing chaos. But it’s not that hard to appreciate them when they are anyway.

Though Ned and I won’t admit it when they’re fully awake, seeing their heads smack into the seat in front of them each time the bus lurched to a halt at stoplights (during the first ten minutes after they’d fallen asleep) was funnier than it should’ve been. Even knowing then that we wouldn’t mention it later didn’t stop us from exchanging silent laughs when they leaned back up, muttering unintelligible complaints before settling their heads back onto one another. For the last couple stoplights before the highway, at least, we decided to be better friends. We both stood up with one leg on the floor and one knee on our own seat so we could easily hold their foreheads back each time it happened. Again, I wouldn’t admit this out loud, even to Ned, but it’s a little bit funny that Ned was a split second slower than me, so while I kept catching MJ’s head before the stop, he half-smacked Y/N’s forehead, like a really-close-to-the-floor basketball dribble, and made a wincing face each time. A lot of times. But it did stop her from colliding with the seat, and she didn’t wake up or complain.

As nice as it is with them and almost everyone else sleeping through the dark, quiet first hour of the bus trek back to New York, I am excited for her and MJ to wake up. Whenever that is. I’ve missed them.

But anyway, I really need to focus. God. I’m not doing a great job of that this morning. Apparently. So I’m focusing now. It’s like Ned said. I need to be honest with myself.

Okay.

Alright.

No distractions.

I’m going to set myself straight now, before we get back, so I can make a game plan and be more decisive and make less mistakes. Fewer? Yeah, fewer mistakes. She’s told me that half a dozen times this since she read that grammar book last summer. But that’s not important.

If I’m being honest... I think I’ve avoided the real possibility that things could work out between us because it felt too risky. And I make some dumb, impulsive choices. So that’s saying a lot. If she said no, what’s the worst that could happen? May and Ned have been asking me that for months, and it’s been so frustrating. The answer should be obvious. The worst thing wouldn’t be the rejection, it’d be if it made her uncomfortable and she broke off our friendship. Or, even if she stuck around, if our friendship changed and I had to watch her get more and more distant, knowing it was my fault and nothing would ever go back to normal.

Those were the worst — and, I thought, most probable — possibilities. For months I’ve been certain that if anything changed, everything would, and it’d all go to shit. So I kept dodging it. And dodging her before the trip. But, then, things did change this weekend. Things are changing. We fought, and it was super shitty and awful and a total nightmare fiasco, but we made up. And she seemed almost as relieved as me when we did. Now we even have this pact about spending more time together. I know it’s officially only in the name of friendship, but something’s… different. I feel it, and I think she does too. And it doesn’t seem bad. That’s the craziest part. I mean, she even kissed me last night. On the cheek, but still. “Keep it.” Maybe May’s not ridiculous: she really might feel the same way.

I’ve been texting her this morning, actually. Aunt May. I had to admit that I’m happy she forced me to do the forehead kiss thing last night. As annoyed as I was that she and Ned ganged up on me like that, I can’t dispute the results. She kissed me! Kind of. (To be fair, she did hit my mouth a little bit even if it was an accident.) At first it made me wonder if she heard any of Ned’s shout-comments before I could turn the t.v. up to cover what he was saying. But I doubt it. Even if she felt the same way, I know her too well to think she wouldn’t freak out more and enough that it’d be noticable. Yeah, no, I’d definitely have been able to tell if she’d heard him saying things like, “Nobody’s saying you have to tell her that you googled the probability of high school sweethearts getting married that time she saved your ass on that Bronte essay, but yeah, Aunt May’s right! Just ask her to come over and either talk to her or do the hair/forehead thing!” Anyway, May’s on board with her coming over a lot this week and next week and giving us some space. So are Ned and MJ. Ned said they agreed on giving us two weeks (starting tomorrow) without them hanging out after school. And who knows, if the dance goes really well, maybe it’ll be normal for us to hang out, just us, without the whole group. Because… well, I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself.

I’ll admit, they’re the best friends I could ever have. All three of them.

And it’s nice to have them all here now, Ned to my left and the girls in front of us. It’s even nicer to be outside of class or the city or crazy study sessions and have had a short breather from all that (despite the shitshow before we smoothed things over and could enjoy it). To be somewhere chill together. Yesterday and today probably feel even better because the last few days, or even weeks… no— months, if I’m being honest— have had me in a kind of less than happy place. But that’s over now. We’re all here and things are finally good. I just wish the girls would wake up, especially since Ned’s back on his phone. Again.

Yesterday, everybody hung out for most of the afternoon, but being in the whole decathlon group isn’t the same as just being the four of us. Or two.

Speaking of two— Ned being away during this next week or two is going to make everything so… unfiltered. New. Without his interference and being able to talk to him as often as normal, it’ll mostly just be her and me. Nobody to distract attention or blame stuff on or help me out when I’m doing something dumb (which is often). Like, for example, last night when I maybe let my excitement get the better of me and I might’ve jumped on the bed and thrown a pillow that accidentally broke the lamp on the nightstand. While I don’t really think writing that “Bill Mr. Harrington” note with the school’s address was Ned’s best idea, it helped me not care too much, enough that I didn’t do something dumber like actually tell Mr. Harrington. It might come back to bite us, though. Still, he was genuinely helpful this morning when Flash showed up too.

While we were hanging out in the girls’ room waiting for them to finish packing, there was a knock on the door. I figured it was Mr. Harrington about to yell at me and Ned for the broken lamp, so I motioned to Ned to shut up and move closer to the head of the bed we were already sitting on where, courtesy of the wall between the bedroom and bathroom, he wouldn’t be able to see us as long as he stayed by the doorway. MJ gave us an odd glance before she got up to answer it. Her annoyed, “What are you doing here?” didn’t immediately disqualify Mr. Harrington, but the sound of Flash’s voice saying, “I, uh, brought you guys some muffins,” made me tense at the first syllable.

“The free muffins they give us for breakfast?”

MJ’s dripping sarcasm nearly made me laugh even though I couldn’t see her, but Y/N turning from her suitcase and walking over to join them killed it still in my throat.

“Nope,” he said. “They’re fancy muffins from a bakery a few miles away.”

I wanted to roll my eyes out of my skull.

She may not like him, but that doesn’t mean I was wrong about him being into her. What a dumb way to impress someone. “Fancy muffins.”

“Expensive?” MJ asked. Even without seeing her face, I could tell she was giving him the squint death stare. It’s scary to have to respond to that face if you don’t know what the right answer is.

“Yes, especially with the delivery fee,” he said, sounding prepared for the question, “but they’re from a small local place, not a chain, which I figured you guys would appreciate. Actually, I think you’d like the woman who owns it, she was super grouchy and hard to convince.”

“Convince?”

“They don’t normally deliver at 5 in the morning.”

“Oh, so you thought you could just—”

“What kind did you get?”

That’s one of the things I like about Y/N. She knows how to manage tempers and when to jump in; she has Flash and MJ down to a science. In that moment, though, I wanted MJ to fire her most confrontational questions at him with no mercy.

“Well, they’re all apology muffins—” I heard MJ scoff. Exactly. She gets it. “But I got blueberry, chocolate, obviously, coffee, cranberry orange, maple, I think that one has chicken in it or something, and banana nut.”

Ned and I turned towards each other with silent smirks at the last one. It’s a dumb joke, but under normal circumstances we’d never resist—

“Cool. Since you’ve brought so many, you can come in.”

Sometimes MJ drives me up the wall. This was one of those times.

I mentally took back my agreement with her scoff.

The three of them came into the room, and for a couple seconds, Flash didn’t see us. The girls were closer to the window than they were to the wall and the bed Ned and I were sitting on, and he didn’t look behind him. Until MJ pointed us out directly.

“You can give them some too,” she said, her expression bordering on smug. “Apology muffins, right?”

Flash froze for a second. I straightened my back. Neither Ned or I said anything.

“Yeah, yeah,” he nodded. “Of course.”

Surprisingly, he shook his shoulders like a bug just buzzed by his head and walked over, opening a giant rectangle of a box up to us.

“Take however many you guys want.”

I stared at him, not moving. Nobody flinched. Then I realized he was tapping the side of the box with his thumb. Not in an asshole come on, hurry up way, but in an anxious way. Just as I started to reach toward the box, Y/N asked:

“Why’d you get so many of the coffee ones?”

Flash looked away at just the right second.

Did I technically cave first by reaching into the box? Yes. But did anyone see? No.

Although, I guess he technically caved by offering us the muffins in the first place. Ha. All the same, I took a blueberry one.

“They’re my dad’s favorite. I wanted to surprise him, you know? But I can’t even get a hold of.... Um, are your guys’ parents going to pick you up when we get there, or are you actually staying for school?”

“Staying.”

“All of you?”

He looked around to ask all of us, even me and Ned. We all nodded. When he looked at me, though, his eyes twitched. It’s a face I’ve gotten a lot before. He realized he said parents.

“You said these are orange cranberry?” Ned asked, pointing.

Flash nodded.

“They’re solid, though the banana nut ones are probably the best.”

As I said, under normal circumstances, like if one of the girls had said it, I would’ve laughed right then, but I’m not used to laughing around Flash. Ned, who usually follows that same rule, shook his head and grinned, if a little bit... nervously?

“Hell no!” he said, pretending to be mildly outraged. “I’m not eating banana-bust-a-nut muffins.”

A second surprise: Flash tilted his head and paused, clearly as stunned to be told a joke by Ned as the rest of us were to witness it— and laughed. So did everyone else. It was only for a few seconds, like literally three quick seconds, but for the first time for as long as I can remember, all of us were laughing with Flash. It stopped almost as soon as it started.

Tension crept back in soon so he left pretty quickly after that with an awkward, “See you guys in a few.” Thank god.

The girls finished tidying their room and going over the homework that’s due today (which we did last week since we knew we’d never get it done on the trip), before forcing me and Ned into the hallway so Mr. Harrington wouldn’t need to check our room for us and potentially find the broken lamp.

And then, pretty soon, we ended up on the warm bus, loaded in with everyone else. It seemed like everybody but Ned and I were too quiet and sleepy and squinty to be able to talk much before dozing off or staring blankly out the window or scrolling social media on their phones, the latter two options leading to the first in most cases. At this point, I think Ned, Flash, and I are the only ones still awake.

I’m going to work at tolerating him. As long as he doesn’t cross any lines with anybody from now on, I won’t bait him either. (Admittedly, I’ve been guilty of that, especially recently.) I mean, his comment about his dad was hard to miss. And even when he said it, it wasn’t a shock. Everyone in our grade at some point has had to listen to Flash’s rambling excuses for his parents ignoring or forgetting to show up for school events. Maybe being a dick is just hereditary for him. Or a family tradition.

I don’t remember how I got so off track. Where was I before? Oh yeah. Risk. Possibilities. The almost-worst case scenario that turned out not so bad. It’s been a messy weekend with plenty of re-evaluating, but the point is simple: I think I’ve got to give a few new things a try, and I’m excited to have a chance over the next couple weeks.

Next update: God only knows.

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passionatefanfictionbka · 5 years ago

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Chrianna Short: Selling Dreams

A/N: An old short that was sitting in my drafts. Figured I finish it and post it. Enjoy!

Rihanna looked around her house and huffed before she just started grabbing photos and items that were spread out and mixed in with her decor. She had spent enough time playing this role and she wanted her life back, as much back of it that she could get. She grabbed a huge duffel bag and started throwing things into it. Just as she went to clear off the table behind her couch, she bumped into Melissa.

“Damn Girl, where you rushing off too?” Mel asked as she gingerly rubbed her shoulder.

“Nowhere. I didn’t see you there. When’d you get here?”

“Just a few minutes ago. You obviously didn’t hear me come in either.”

“Yea, I was cleaning up and wasn’t paying attention.”

“Cleaning up what?” Mel looked around the room, “where’s all the pictures? Don’t you think he’s gonna be a little suspicious?”

“I don’t care what he is especially since he’s not my problem.”

“How is your man not your problem?”

“He’s not my man. Never was. Don’t know how many times I have to say that.”

“Well according to media and your PR, he was your man so outside of this house he was your man. What happened?”

“Nothing. I’m finished.”

“Finished what?”

“I’m finished lying. I’m finished pretending. I’m tired, Mel.”

“Does he know that?”

“I don’t give a fuck what he does or doesn’t know.”

“Whoa there, what is going on?”

“I just told you. I’m finished.”

“Robs, that’s not it. Something happened.”

“Nothing happened, honest. I’m really just over all of this. The trips and shit, it gets really boring after a while, especially if it's not with who you want to be with.”

“Chris know you done?”

“This has nothing to do with him either.”

“That’s not what I asked you. Does Chris know you are done?”

“He knows I was thinking about it.”

“Before me?”

“I didn’t want the judgment, Mel.”

“When have I ever judged you?”

“Not out loud but I could feel the way you’ve been looking at me since this started.”

“That wasn’t judgment, that was disappointment. I told you from the beginning that this wasn’t a good idea. You’ve been letting PR run your life for the last few years and just when I thought you were settled into your own, you let them pull you right back in.”

“Mel, I made the decision to go along with it.”

“For what purpose other than media bullshit?”

“It wasn’t media bullshit to me.”

“And what was it to Chris then?”

“I don’t want to talk about him.”

“You might want to.”

“Why is that?”

“Because I’m right behind you.”

Rihanna jerked around at the sound of Chris’s voice. She smiled before she could catch herself and Chris chuckled, “you look more shocked than I thought you would be. What’s up?”

“Nothing. Why? How are you here?”

“I drove here, what do you mean?”

“How’d you even know I was in town? I didn’t call you.”

“You normally don't and somehow I still have perfect timing,” Chris walked towards her and plopped down in an armchair, “besides I could always sense when something was wrong and considering this room, I was right.”

“Nothing is wrong.”

“You don’t pull a Bernadine in Waiting to Exhale for nothing. What’s going on?”

“I really don’t have to answer you.”

“You don't but you will. Eventually.”

Melissa laughed causing Rihanna to remember she was in the room, “there is nothing funny about this.”

“Oh there’s a lot funny but I’m gonna go to my room and laugh. It’s tense in here.”

Melissa patted Chris’s shoulder as she walked past him to leave the living room. Rihanna turned her attention back to him, “why are you here, Chris?’

“I told you that I sensed something was wrong and...I miss you.”

“I just saw you in New York.”

“That was well over two months ago. Still not used to these long gaps.”

“We’ve dealt with longer.”

“That’s when we really didn’t have any options.”

“Who says now that we do have options?”

“We did especially once we started this up again.”

“This what?”

“What? Does your nigga have the room wired for sound or you just acting dense on purpose?”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re excused.”

“You don’t get to barge in my house in the middle of my recharging session, demanding answers to shit that isn’t your business.”

“All of this is my business.”

“Really? How?”

“Because you’re my business and have been over the last decade. I told you this from Matt to Drake to this Arab nigga, I don’t give a fuck about no PR stunts and relationships, we’ve been in this from the beginning and it hasn’t changed. When I feel like something is wrong, I’m gonna come whether you ask me to or not, guns blazing if I have to. We’ve been good for this long so clearly something has changed if you giving me attitude like this and I haven’t seen you in so long.”

Rihanna sighed and ran her fingers through her hair before settling her hands on her waist. Chris was right; he didn’t do anything he wouldn’t normally do when she came in town and she was overreacting.

“Look, I’m sorry. I’m just- I don’t know.”

“What is it? Is the pressure getting to you? Are you changing your mind? We’ve been communicating so well up until now, just let me know what’s up.”

“It's not you. I just don’t have my head on too straight.”

“Then let me help you, all you gotta do is talk to me, you know that.”

“I know Babe, it’s just- I’m still trying to figure it out. I feel out of control.”

“So stop trying to figure it out and just relax. You’re not gonna gain more control by acting out of control. Forcing things has never been helpful for you.”

“You’re right.”

“So sit down. Stop trying so hard to make things happen and just let them happen.”

Rihanna frowned and Chris chuckled, “what’s the matter, Baby Girl?”

“When the hell you’d get so wise?”

“I’ve had a lot of practice. Now can I get a proper greeting or you still taking your anger out on me?”

Rihanna rolled her eyes and she moved to sit on Chris’s lap. He kissed her and she laid her head on his shoulder, “I wasn’t taking my anger out on you. I was just frustrated.”

“Same difference.”

Chris made circles on her exposed thigh with his fingertip, “I missed you. Why didn’t you call me when you got in town?”

“Because I’m not staying long. I’m actually out of here tomorrow.”

“Even more reason why you should’ve called me.”

“I also didn’t come here by myself.”

“Ah, now that makes sense. Where’s your Arab money?”

“Fuck you.”

Chris laughed, “I’m serious. Where he at?”

“He left already.”

“Argument?”

“Gotta actually talk to have an argument. I’m just over everything and told him to go. Services no longer needed.”

“Should’ve never enlisted them in the first place.”

“I am not having this discussion with you again, Chris.”

“We’re not, I’m just saying.”

“No more saying. You’ve expressed your dislike with the arrangement enough over the last year or so. You didn’t like him, I get it.”

“So you my girl again or nah?”

“Always been yours.”

“But am I still sharing you or no?”

“No.”

“That’s all I need to hear.”

“But we’re not together, Chris.”

“By whose definition?”

“Anybody’s definition. I need time, Chris.”

“I can give you time. I’ve always given you that.”

“I mean real time. Not you sitting in the corner, staring at your watch and willing me to hurry up time.”

“I do not- nevermind.”

“That’s what I thought.”

“Well what do you expect? We were on a good path, babies, marriage, rings and then you spring him on me. Everytime I agree to give you time, you end up giving your time to somebody else. Regardless if it’s a real relationship or not, you’re giving time you promised to me, to somebody not me so yea, it makes me hesitate with this time shit.”

“It’s not like you’ve been waiting all alone.”

“Actually I have. Commenting on IG and shit doesn’t mean nothing when it doesn't translate to real life. ‘I’ve been chilling, minding my business, and taking care of myself. I’ve done nothing but wait by myself.”

“I never asked you to do that.”

“You’ve never asked me to do a lot of things but you knew I would, did you not?”

“I did.”

“So I rest my case.”

“This isn’t easy, Chris.”

“I never said it was but you aren’t making it any easier either.”

“Clearly.”

“So what exactly is your next step?”

“Haven’t figured it out yet. I really don’t know what I want or what I want to do.”

“Just chill for a minute. Give yourself time to relax and actually sleep for a while, it’ll come to you.”

“You’re always good for a positive thought.”

“I don’t like seeing you stressed out, Baby Girl. Makes me anxious and puts me on offense.”

“Chris, you can't protect me from myself.”

“I can try.”

Rihanna laughed as she leaned up to kiss his lips, “what’s your plans?”

“I came here for you. It’s up to you.”

“I just needed to clear my head, probably should’ve come here alone in that case.”

“That’s very true but you also had an image to upkeep so a certain presence makes sense.”

Rihanna sighed, “can I quit?”

“You can do whatever you want to do. Why are you asking me?”

“Because you’re my conscience right now. Can I quit?”

“Depends on why you want to quit.”

“What do you mean?”

“Are you quitting because you’re done or because you’re running?”

Rihanna went to say something then closed her mouth. Chris gently rubbed her thigh, “I am the last person to be giving advice on anything because I still don’t completely have my shit together but I do know what happens when you make decisions based on fear and not fact. I’ve wasted great opportunities doing it.”

“Like?”

“Our entire relationship. Past and present.”

“We’ve both done it if that’s the case.”

“We have, I just actually acknowledge it.”

“I really have no idea what to do.”

“You could start by stopping selling the public dreams.”

“What?”

“You keep pulling people into your PR antics, and that’s what they are no matter how you try to justify it, for the sake of keeping up an image that the public is comfortable with instead of actually being yourself. You being a savage is a cover. You being this pick ‘em and dump ‘em person is a cover. All a mask. You are selling them a version of you that is not real.”

“How would you know that it’s not real?”

“Because I know you. I know you in ways that the public would never get to know you. That’s why you burn out so quickly. That’s why you can’t commit to whatever you’re doing for so long because you’re not being true to you.”

“You’re only saying that because you’re included in what I want to do.”

“I’m saying it because it’s true. Listen, I’ve been out of the picture for extended periods of time and you still stick to the script. You pick people who you don’t really like because you know that they can’t hurt you. I pick people because they’re easy to get and easy to dismiss. I go for ease. You go for comfort.”

Rihanna sucked her teeth as she folded her arms across her chest, “I don’t agree with that.”

“I can accept that, don't make what I said wrong though.”

“So what about you?”

“What about me? I am a complete and utter fuck up at times, I’m transparent about that. I play games to distract myself and others from reality. I bullshit myself a lot but I know it. I accept it therefore I accept the consequences that come from it. You, on the other hand, not so much.”

“Are you saying that I don’t accept accountability?”

“Yea, pretty much.”

Rihanna pushed off his lap and moved to grab the duffel bag she was holding earlier, “Wow, tell me how you really feel.”

“Baby Girl, if you accept accountability, you wouldn’t be lying and justifying things to anyone, especially not to yourself. You wouldn’t be cleaning out the pictures of a man that you publicly entertained for a year even though you didn’t like him. You wouldn’t be hiding and letting the world turn you into a recluse, just to do what you want to do. You wouldn’t be teasing albums when all you really want to do is make clothes and make up. You’d be upfront and honest regardless of others’ reactions. The fact you haven’t and you can’t even verbally express why without providing justifications for it is exactly why we’re having this conversation. None of this can happen without your participation. You have to be accountable for that.”

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

“That’s fine.”

“And I’d like you to leave.”

“That’s fine too.”

“Are you serious?”

“I didn’t come here to argue with you or make you feel worse but we’ve prided ourselves on being honest with each other thus far so I don’t regret what I’ve said. I’m not judging you because we do what we have to do to survive,” Chris stood up and straightened his pants, “I’ve done worse. I’ve fucked up my life worse so I’m telling you from experience. IF you want to quit, you need to be honest with yourself about why and once you do that, you need to be honest about how you got to this point in the first place. That’s the only way for you to quit in peace because the change of outside circumstances doesn’t get rid of the issues inside you. That much I know for sure even though I’m still figuring out what comes next.”

“And this makes you so much better than me, huh?”

“Absolutely not. I’m still fucking up but I’m honest with myself about why and work on how to not do it again. I backslide every once in a while but I’m human. Maybe if you accepted that part about you, you wouldn’t be working so hard to keep up this image for the world.”

“I went back to you after everything we’ve been through, that wasn’t enough?”

“Wow. I hoped you came back to me because you wanted to, not to make me your redemption story. If loving me was the worst thing you think you’ve done as a human, that’s on you. I think. I’m just your most public mistake. Don’t confuse the two.”

“I never said you were a mistake.”

“Nope but you’re saying it as if our second chance was the only thing you’ve done that others’ didn’t accept. You’re protected but you’re not invincible.”

“Sounds like you want me to fail.”

“I want you to be honest with yourself about who you are so you can stop acting like what you’re pretending to be isn’t a bunch of bullshit. I want you to be successful while being you, the real you.”

“Chris.”

“Rih, Baby Girl, there’s really nothing else to say and I think I’ve pissed you off enough for the night.”

Chris walked over and kissed her cheek before he started walking towards the door, “Tell Mel I said bye. Oh, and you missed a couple pictures on the console.”

He left.

“You know he’s actually right, Robs. He might be a fuck up sometimes but he’s an honest one,” Melissa said as she walked into the room.

“I’m guessing you heard,” Rihanna replied.

“I did. I thought y’all were about to start arguing so I was standing in the hallway.”

“No need. He doesn’t really like to argue with me anymore.”

“That bothers you.”

“It does.”

“Why?”

“It’s uncomfor-” Rihanna stopped mid-sentence, “Am I really that bad? Do I really avoid accountability like that?”

“Nobody can answer that but you. Maybe you really do need time. I’m not saying to shut down into complete isolation but you need to really think about your life and how you want to live it moving forward. Nobody is saying that the world needs to know everything but at least let what you do decide to let them in on, be honest and true to you. If you don’t want to do music or if you only want to do it on your own time, be honest about it. If you want to date, do it but be honest about it. You can be private without treating your personal life as a secret. The best savages are the honest ones.”

Chris had just pulled into his driveway when his phone rang with a FaceTime call. He put the car in park then slid over the answer key, “Hey Baby Girl.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize.”

“But I do. I overreacted and it wasn't fair especially since you came all that way to see me.”

“And you had all right to tell me to leave if you no longer wanted me there. There’s nothing to apologize for.”

“Are you home yet?”

“I just pulled into the driveway. What’s up?”

“Can I stop by?”

“Sure. I’ll order something for us.”

“OK. I’ll see you in a little bit.”

“Cool.”

#chrianna shorts

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ironxkid · 4 years ago

Note

why don't you like endgame or civil war

((hoo buddy, idk what brought this up but salt under the cut!! Like... a lot of salt - specifically regarding Endgame lmao

I’m gonna start off with CACW because it’s a short response lol

I don’t like it simply because I was done with the infighting between the Avengers. The found family crumbs we were given in Endgame was something I really wanted to see, and them just... ripping them apart frustrated me lol

honestly, the movie was... fine? Idk, I found it to be a lil slow for my taste (it felt like it just dragged on when I watched it in theaters), and I just don’t care for it in general ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Also, ngl, I’m really bummed that Captain America: Serpent Society was a joke announcement because that sounds dope as hell and I really wanted to see that before I realized it’d been a joke dfgjhdsfhj

but, yeah, literally just because CACW is specifically an infighting movie annoys me to no end so I just won’t watch it again dgsfjhsfdhj

now, Endgame?

fuck Endgame

I. have a lot of issues with it, all of which are major grievances throughout the fandom. I’m pissed they killed Natasha and didn’t even bother giving her a fucking funeral because, I quote from Joe Russo, “Well, Tony does not have another movie. Tony is done. And Natasha has another film. And Marvel Universe obviously does not have to move forward linearly anymore. But that character still has more screen time coming.” (see here) and that annoys the hell out of me. She’s getting another movie - great! So you killed one of the few characters doing her fucking best to keep everything together at the compound, the one who was taking charge, give her a big role, and then murk her and... give her nothing but a brief mention at the end. Like... what the fuck? Natasha deserved so much better than what she was given. Tony’s funeral could’ve (and, frankly, should’ve) been a funeral for him, Natasha, and Vision because god forbid we see anyone mourn Vision other than Wanda

(actually this post covers how Endgame fucked over the MCU women perfectly, though Wanda’s not mentioned :c )

plus... Tony’s not done lol - he’s still a massive figure in the films/shows despite RDJ not acting in them, so his character has left shockwaves that aren’t dying any time soon. Natasha... basically disappeared, and I believe she would’ve been dropped completely if it wasn’t for the fact she does have a film coming out soon. Which, frankly, seems awesome and all, but it’s a film that goes back to post-CACW pre-IW and... frankly doesn’t give me any reason to understand why that means she didn’t get a funeral. She’s not coming back in future movies/shows that are in present MCU timeline - her movie is set in the past. She could’ve gotten a decent sendoff

now, Clint’s arc as Ronin rubs me the wrong way. I know it’s a huge thing in the comics, and it’s not him taking a different mantle that I have an issue with. It’s the fact he, a white man, went around murdering people and got off scot-free. Yes, he was targeting genuinely bad people, but... to show that, they specifically singled out Mexican cartels and the yakuza (Japanese mafia, essentially) - so, in other words, the bad guys were people of color! I feel like I don’t need to explain how fucked up that is. And, to clarify, I love Clint! Clint is honestly one of my favorite characters, and the whole thing was just handled... poorly in the film

Tony’s arc genuinely hurts. This is a man who has suffered for years and has tried to make things right, and finally got a chance to settle down. He finally retired from the Avengers, finally settled down, and had a fucking life he could enjoy despite his ghosts, and yet... His arc ends with a message of “tortured soul finally gets rest by dying”. Because, y’know, it’s great seeing yet another long-suffering character only reaching peace through death, because god forbid they let characters heal! He could’ve still caused the second Snap, and he could’ve survived. He could’ve finally been able to step away for good and focus on his family, focus on recovering, and be truly happy. What’s so wrong with letting him stay alive so he can rest and be with his family? What’s so wrong with letting a long-suffering character finally find peace after one last bang?

plus it pisses me off that they’re now using him as a reasoning as to why bad things are still happening. Why is this person the bad guy? Because Tony Stark somehow may or may not have done something that hurt them! Even though most of that really stems from Howard or Obadiah. Tony just ends up getting the blame in their place. He’s just an easy target to use, much like the tesseract seems to be the go-to answer for why things go wrong. But this is a different train of thought

Steve’s ending pisses me off just as much as the next person lmao. You take a character who has acknowledged he no longer belongs in the past (which, funnily enough, was written by the Russos), aaaaaaand have him go back to the past while ignoring two important people in his life that were still right there. He got Bucky and Sam back, and he leaves them. His arc is ruined within a matter of minutes, and it paints a hella bad picture of him in the process. He goes back in time to stay with Peggy (which ultimately destroys her own arc, and the fact she’s a person outside of her relationship (or lack thereof) with him because, y’know, why have her be able to move on and be her own person?), and we’re supposed to believe he’s fine with everything he knows from the future? Fine with knowing Bucky’s trapped with HYDRA and is suffering as the Winter Soldier? Fine with knowing HYDRA has infested SHIELD from day one? Fine with knowing Howard and Maria are going to die? Fine with royally fucking up the timelines? We’re supposed to believe he sat back and did nothing with all of that? They could’ve had him still hand the shield over to Sam - they could’ve let Steve stay an Avenger without the mantle

also the fact the Russos said he didn’t recognize Red Skull when he returned to Vormir to return the soul stone? Like... what the fuck?? Not to mention he literally returns the stone to Vormir, which “soul for a soul”, and they didn’t bring Nat back that way??

and now onto Thor. Thor... holy fuck is this hitting something personal for me. Thor was ridden with guilt - he was furious with himself, hated himself, and blamed himself for failing to stop the Snap. He fell into a massive depression, and... was promptly danced around as laughing stock. Like, “oh! look at Thor! he’s fat and drunk because he’s depressed haha!” - like fuck off. It’s not funny in any form. His suffering was made into a joke and it pisses me off because I suffer from depression. A lot of people suffer from depression. It’s not funny. It’s fucking terrifying at times. I wasted a shit ton of money on a stupid online sim game because it was a distraction - it gave me... god, I wouldn’t even say temporary happiness, but it gave me something to temporarily help, and I still hate myself for doing it. It was a poor decision on my part, and I wish I could change it. And, during that time, I was scared because I couldn’t see myself pulling out of it. I thought I was gonna feel that way forever. I called out of work multiple times because there were days I couldn’t stop crying (something I still feel horrible for doing), I couldn’t get myself to contact any of my friends for months, and it was all because the medication I was on at the time... stopped working. Thankfully, my depression doesn’t work in a way that makes me a danger to myself, so that wasn’t an issue, but it still fucking sucked. And to see a character that I could relate to on such a personal level treated as laughing stock fucking hurt. I’m not sharing this for sympathy - I’m sharing this because it Thor’s arc hit home and it’s literally the main reason why I will not watch Endgame again

this is more of a nitpick than anything else, but... I didn’t really care for Carol in it tbh? Which is unfortunately because Captain Marvel is one of my absolute favorite movies! And I’m well aware she was introduced in Endgame while CM was being drafted, but that in itself is annoying?? Because Carol was originally going to be introduced in AoU, but was cut because it wasn’t going to introduce her character properly. And yet they decide to introduce her character in a clusterfuck of a movie before her movie is in the final stages, and proceed to release her movie first and then give a complete different characterization in her following appearance

honestly I just wanna cover this now to clarify some things regarding Carter and her backstory: the only reason I keep Endgame as is is because it felt easier for me to do so for the purpose of bending canon for specific threads. I wanted to stay as true to the given plots as possible to help with fudging of both the movies and her background, and also because I didn’t want anyone to feel like I was trying to force my own headcanons onto them, y’know?

I’m just gonna plug this here because fuck it lol, but I did start a fix-it fic regarding Endgame that you can read here! I... probably won’t finish it tbh, and I haven’t gone over it in a hot minute so it might be riddled with errors ahah - plus I’m not sure about how I wrote the characters! I get nervous when writing canon characters because I feel like I’ll miss their characterization completely, which is actually why I,,, rarely rp canon characters dgfjhgsfdhj

also the image in the doc was created by @/archervale!!

#ooc #((I think I covered what I wanted and I hope it makes sense dgjhdfh #I'm pretty tired but I'm doing laundry so I figured I'd answer this while I wait #but yeah I don't care for CACW and I honest to god hate Endgame #the potential is there and it just never reached it))#((I'm not even gonna touch the Russos directing style #'hey guys we're gonna film a wedding sIKE IT'S A FUNERAL'#like?? MAJORLY different event fellas #also I'm literally going off what I remember from Endgame so I'm sure there's QUITE a bit I'm missing #but I'm not watching it to make a bigger salt post lol #I don't hate watch things because I would much rather watch something I'd enjoy #tbh I don't understand hate watching at all but that's a different conversation gsdfjhdfhj))#death mention tw #depression tw

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triptaech · 8 years ago

Text

spaces in between (m)

Pairing: Fratboy!Jung Hoseok x Reader

Summary: When you were maddeningly in love with your best friend/fuck buddy, bringing him as a date to a wedding was probably not the best idea.

Genre/Count: Smut & Fluff [ NC-17 ] | 11.7k words

Note: alkewrjaer so excited to finally post this after sitting in my drafts for years. meet m’boy fuccboi!hoseok.

It was never a good idea and you should’ve stopped it from the first time, or the first week, the first month, before it went too far. But you didn’t. You were sucked into his world and him into yours. Although your lives were entangled from the very beginning, it was never meant to go this far.

Hoseok pushed himself into you again, feeling the tightness wrapping snugly around him as he released a low groan of pleasure. “Fuck, you feel so good, always so good.” He buried his face in your neck as you twisted your fingers into the soft strands of his chocolate locks. He growled and thrusted into you over and over, bringing you to the edge. “Babe, shit. Goddamn, you’re so tight. Pussy always so good for me. Only for me.” He jerked his hips particularly hard, hitting that delicious spot inside of you. “Tell me.”

“Only for you,” you echoed in a gasp, head thrown back as your body arched off the bed. His mouth captured one of your peaks. The heat a contrast against the cool of his room. His abs, defined and beautiful, were layered by a sheen layer of sweat as he pounded into you. Moans tumbled from both your lips, swallowed by his mouth covering yours.

“So goddamn beautiful,” he muttered, nipping his way down your jaw and your neck. He knew you hated it when he marked you, hated it because everyone could see. What he didn’t know was that you mostly hated it because it made things more real than it actually was. A whine left your lips as he continued to print shades of blue onto the canvas of your skin. “I’m so close, babe, come with me.”

And you would. You always did, after all. Your fingers found purchase on his broad shoulders as he moved faster, pushing into you deeper and harder. The tension coiled in your stomach as the electricity coursed through your veins and straight to the space between your thighs, space filled by, and only by, Hoseok. The orgasm wracked shudders in your body as you let out a cry, the same time Hoseok groaned into your neck. Heavy breaths heaved your chest as Hoseok pulled out with a small grunt and slumped onto the space next to you.

The two of you laid in silence for a few minutes. The deafening emptiness drawing your fears forward. It always happened. No matter how many times you’ve been in bed with him, you’ve regretted every single one. The two of you were stuck in this limbo with too many questions and not a single answer.

Answers you sought and answers he couldn’t give.

With a heavy heart and an even heavier mind, you pushed yourself off the bed. The coolness of the room finally kissed your skin for the first time that night as the effects of the alcohol and the high of his presence wore off. You shivered as you tugged on your shirt, stopping when Hoseok pulled at the hem. “Where are you going?”

“Home.” You continued to button the blouse, fixating your gaze on the frame on his bedside table in attempt to keep your eyes off of him. If you looked back even once, you knew you wouldn’t leave. And that would only worsen things for you and for him.

“You can stay, you know. It’s late.” Hoseok shifted on the bed, sheets rustling underneath his frame. His demanding presence was gone, replaced by a softer voice, a softer touch. Your fuck buddy was gone, replaced by your best friend. “I don’t want you walking home alone.”

“I’ll call a cab or something.” You stood up and picked up whatever was left of your clothes that had been strewn around the room in the heat of the moment.

He sighed, “Stay.”

“I can’t.”

Your name rolled off his tongue, sweet enough to send tingles down your spine, which you pinned down on the post-orgasm feeling. On instinct, you turned around to face him. He was there in all his beauty. Hoseok was beautiful. There was no other word to describe him. With the strongest features on his face, from his chocolate eyes to the adorable curve of his lips, he was admired by everyone. Looks wise and personality wise, because everyone knew how wonderful of a person he was too.

“Can’t or won’t?”

Your lips thinned into a line. “Both.”

“Please,” worry knitted in his brows. “It’ll make me feel better.”

“But it won’t make me feel better.” You insisted, pulling on your shorts and grabbing your bag from the chair. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Hoseok.”

“Wait,” he halted you in your tracks. You turned around only to have yourself shoved into an oversized hoodie. You blinked up at him. “It’s cold out.” He murmured. “I don’t want you freezing to death.”

Of course. Tears pricked at your eyes but you held them back because it wouldn’t help. It wouldn’t matter. He was never going to ask you to stay for him. He was never going to tell you the words you’ve been waiting for for years. You just nodded, muttering your thanks and slipping away from the quietness that suffocated you into the crowd that eased your heart a little, distracted it from the pain that awaited you outside those doors.

The walk home felt endless. Worries and fears plagued your thoughts, weighed heavy in your heart. You shivered, not from the cold, but from the regret as you bit down on your bottom lip to stop yourself from crying.

Breathe in, breathe out.

He didn’t know. It wasn’t his fault. God, you wished you weren’t so weak to his advances, wouldn’t so easily fall putty in his hands.

The last time, you told yourself. This was going to be the last time.

Then again, that’s what you’ve been telling yourself the past hundred times.

Being in love with your best friend wasn’t easy, especially since he never thought of you as nothing more. It was cliché really. Growing up with Hoseok, you saw him mature from the timid, short boy who was all too obsessed with power rangers, who cried too much, into the man who blossomed into the president of his fraternity with his contagious laughter and passion for dance. Hoseok had transformed beautifully before your eyes. From the first day, you’ve been proud of every step he’s taken, every change he’s had to improve himself.

You were there with him every step of the way. When he was struggling with his courses, you offered a helping hand and pulled him out of his stump. When his self-esteem dropped particularly low, you’d be there ready to carry him forward with a tub of his favorite ice cream and reruns of romantic comedies he loved. Despite it, Hoseok never turned your way. You were his best friend, practically his sister. And you understood that because Hoseok was practically your brother.

“You’re thinking about him again, aren’t you?” Mina poked your cheek, dragging you away from your thoughts.

“No,” you chewed on your straw, fingers reaching for her fries again.

“That’s a lie. Your lips went down. The corners. Did you guys fuck again last night?” Mina was too crass for her own good sometimes, and she realized that when she noticed the glare you threw her way. “Sorry, just checking.”

“Yes, we did. And I hate myself for it.” You dropped your head to the table, tempted to bang your head against it to knock some sense into yourself.

She patted your head thoughtfully, “I’d urge you to stop doing this to yourself but you already know that.”

“I just—” You wanted to scream, muffling your annoyance with your hand. “God, why can’t I control myself around him? I need to be put on a leash.”

“Damn, I knew you were a masochist, but didn’t know you were into that kind of roleplay too.” She teased, seeming too happy with your suffering. “Kidding,” she grinned. “But honestly though, I mean, in your defense, it’s really hard to resist him. He’s good-looking, sweet, funny—”

“I get it,” you snapped, turning to face the table again.

A sudden weight on your back had you attempting to turn around but Hoseok’s voice had you blushing instead. “What’s her problem?”

“Too tired, I guess. Hectic night from what I’ve heard.” Mina smirked down at you and you swore on your life then that you’d strangle her to death right then and there.

Hoseok peeked around you to meet your eyes. “Yeah? That so? What were you doing?” The playful smile dancing on his lips was enough to have you swinging your fist at him. He laughed and ducked from your attack. “I’m just kidding, kiddo.” He ruffled your hair, earning another scowl from you. He plopped down next to you, leaning close and placing his head on your shoulder as he scrolled through his phone. “Seriously though, did you get home okay?”

The teasing was gone and all that was left was concern in his voice. You felt your heart seize a little at his worry. “I’m fine.” You sighed, popping another fry into your mouth. Mina gave a small wave and escaped quietly before you could yank her back.

“You feeling okay?” Hoseok whispered, phone down on the table then as he slipped an arm around your waist. Physical contact wasn’t surprising with Hoseok. He was always touchy, particularly touchy with you because he’s known you for years, but it still didn’t stop the racing of your heart.

“Yeah, I’m okay.” You nodded, hand reaching up instinctively to thread through his messy hair. He hummed happily and snuggled closer. “How’d the party end?”

“Jeongguk nearly broke an arm, Jimin stabbed Taehyung with a dart. Aside from those brats, it ended just fine. We got the pledges to clean up.”

“Okay,” you said.

“You’re quiet today, you sure you’re okay?” Of course Hoseok noticed. He always did. Sometimes, you hated how sensitive he was to shifts in people’s emotions. He pulled back slightly to look you dead in the eyes.

You pressed your lips together but nodded, “I’m really fine.”

“You’re not coming down with something, are you?” Then he blinked, his eyes darkening as his brows puckered into a frown. “Did I go too hard last night? Are you hurt? Fuck, I’m—”

You giggled, shoving him lightly. “You’re way too confident in your skills. You weren’t that good.”

He clutched his chest and pouted, “That hurts. My skills in bed are the only thing I have ten out of ten confidence in.”

“Start building up your other skills then because that one’s pretty bad.” You shrugged.

Hooking an arm around your neck, he chuckled and tousled up your hair again. “You think you’re so funny, huh?”

“I know I am.” You stuck your tongue out at him.

His eyes searched your face again before the corners of his lips tipped up, “That’s my girl. That’s the smile I was looking for.”

The realization dawned on you and the warmth crept up on your cheeks as you ducked your head again, focusing on your food instead. “Shut up,” you muttered weakly.

God, you were so whipped.

The following weeks went by uneventfully. You went to classes, passed your exams (some barely above the average), spent enough time wasting away your life with your friends. Your usual college routine. Of course, the routine never excluded Hoseok who managed to slip and slide his way into the gaps in your life. Whenever you had a bit of free time, the two of you would either sidle up next to each other in the library, cramming for quizzes, or catch up on life over cups of steaming coffee in the little shop near your place.

It’s probably worth noting that the sex didn’t stop either. Because there you were again, with a million regrets flying freely in your brain, as you laid down next to Hoseok. His blanket was pulled up to your chest, your lungs working extra hard to get some oxygen in you after Hoseok gave you another incredible night. He turned over to his side, arm sliding around your naked waist as he pressed his toned front flush against your skin. Nuzzling his face into your neck, he found himself nibbling lightly on your skin, earning adorable squirms from you. “Good? You okay?”

“Yeah, fine.” You cleared your throat. Quickly untangling yourself from him, you moved to grab your clothes, unaware of Hoseok frowning behind you.

It was then that your phone chose to break the awkward silence, blaring out a ringtone that your cousin, Yerin, had set for you years ago. News had traveled down the grapevine and from the lady herself that she was getting married in two weeks after an extended engagement period of a year and a half with her lovely fiancé. She had called you up a month ago or so, letting you know that you’d be one of the bridesmaids for her wedding. “Yerin, hey.”

You stumbled around in the dark, jumping into your jeans as you trapped the phone between your shoulder and ear. Hoseok tossed your bra over to you, which you caught easily and hooked around your body. “____! So glad you picked up, holy shit.”

“I don’t think the bride should be cursing weeks before her wedding, might be bad luck.”

“You’re so funny,” she drawled sarcastically. “I have bad news.”

“Oh God, did the dressmaker sew your dress in ivory instead of off-white?” You fake-gasped, laughing when she snapped at you again to “shut your mouth, it’s freaking diamond white.” You just couldn’t resist teasing her perfectionist nature. “What’s going on?”

“You know that you’re supposed to walk down the aisle with a guy right for my wedding?”

“Mhm, you said you were going to set me up with one of your friends or something.”

Hoseok tilted his head curiously at you as he shrugged on his own shorts.

“Yeah, so bad news. He tripped or something playing basketball and sprained his ankle so he’s basically incapacitated for the next month or so. My wedding is in two weeks. Two weeks, ____.”

“Okay, do you not have other friends?”

“Do you think you have your own date you can bring? I just need an even number and it’ll be so, so great if you do. I’d really appreciate it, even more so if the guy is good enough to do manual labor.”

“Yerin! How can you afford to be so picky at this time?”

“Okay, I’m kidding.” Pause. “But not really. Only about the labor thing. Jihan is gone, he’s going to be wobbling around with crutches and I’m just panicking because his suit is ready and it’s custom for the event and, oh God, I’m going to throw up.”

“Yerin, calm down. Calm down. It’ll be fine, I’ll figure something out.”

“So you’ll find yourself a 5’8” dude who’ll fit in with the rest of the really hot groomsmen?”

“Yerin!”

“Kidding!” She laughed. “Honestly though. I just—oh, oh God. What about Hoseok? He’s perfect! You still talk to him right, please tell me you do.”

Of course, it just so happened that Hoseok was standing right there next to you as you attempted to dress yourself. Key word: attempted, because Hoseok’s grabby hands were sliding down your body, tugging you towards the bed to convince you to stay the night.

“Your cousin?” He mouthed.

You just nodded, prying his fingers off your skin and shifting away from him. “Look, I don’t think he would even want to—why would he waste his time—”

“Please,” Yerin muttered. You could already see her cocking her hip and scowling on the other end of the line. “That boy would do a hundred backflips through rings of fire for you. He can come to a wedding as your date.”

“I am an independent woman,” you scoffed. Hoseok snorted.

“Please just ask him.”

“Yerin, he’s not going to be interested okay. He’s already busy with frat and dance, he doesn’t need more on his plate, especially not during spring break.” Obviously, the mention of Hoseok’s two main activities had him perking up, his eyebrow raised questioningly at you.

“But—”

You gritted your teeth, “No buts. I’ll figure something out. Worry about your dresses and the rest of the wedding instead.”

Once you hung up and shoved your phone in your pocket, Hoseok asked, “What was that all about?”

“Just Yerin, she said I needed a date to go to her wedding because her friend sprained his ankle.”

“Oh.”

You shrugged, “I’ll probably ask Jimin or something. That boy can charm the pants off anyone and is always down for free food.”

He frowned. Maybe he had gotten it wrong. Maybe Jimin was who you were talking about for dance and frat. “Never knew you were interested in Jimin.”

“Not like that, he’s just a nice guy. He’d probably be down to help.”

“When’s the wedding?”

“Spring break.” Hoseok just grinned and you snapped at him, “What?”

“He’s going home that weekend.”

“Fuck.”

“I mean, uh,” he cleared his throat. “If you don’t mind then I can help you out, be your date and all.” You blinked at him. “As friends, you know, it’ll be fun. I’ve met most of your family anyway and Yerin knows me.”

“Right. As friends.” You echoed dumbly. You should’ve gotten a degree in theater instead considering the number of times you’ve had to act like Hoseok’s words didn’t stab you in the gut. “Um, it’s fine. I don’t want to intrude on your time—”

“Please, you can always ask me for favors. I’m more than happy to help. Plus, Yerin likes me, doesn’t she? She’ll trust me more since she’s met me.”

You nibble on his bottom lip, knowing that he’s made plenty of good points to deem him worthy to go to the wedding as your date.

“Come on, what have you got to lose?”

Your heart.

You sighed, “Okay, yeah, that’ll be great.”

The wedding was supposed to be set in Jeju because Yerin had wanted the perfect paradise-like wedding. She’d get married at the chapel and the reception would be held near the beach at the big lawn of the hotel that she had booked.

Yerin had told you that she had been working all weekend to ensure that everything went as planned. Knowing her, she probably took over the wedding planner’s job and did everything herself. You weren’t surprised to find her scurrying around the big hall, yelling at people to position things properly and “for God’s sake, you can’t put lavenders there!”

The wedding hall was absolutely breathtaking. Gold and champagne streamers lined the walls as vases of lilies were propped up neatly across the floor. Tables were set with bronze chairs, cloaked in white with utensils placed perfectly on top. The middle of the hall had been purposely left empty as a dance floor or the supposed stage while the tables were arranged surrounding it. One wall was made with floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the pool, garden, and beach outside.

Truly was paradise.

Yerin who spotted you instantly quickly hurried over, pulling you in for a hug. “Oh my God, you’re here! Bless. I was worried sick.”

“You need to calm down, Yerin.” You laughed. “But congratulations, girl, this looks amazing.”

“Thank you. You wouldn’t believe the shit I had to put up with.” She huffed, then turned her gaze to Hoseok, her entire face lighting up as she embraced him too. “Hoseok, it’s been way too long. You did get hotter, wow.”

Hoseok only laughed, “Good to see you too, bride-to-be. Hope you’re not balding over all the stress.”

“Don’t remind me,” she groaned. “I’ve been dying over everything and freaking Taewon is out with his buddies jet skiing right now. I’m about to whoop his ass.”

“Well, if you ever need an extra hand, I’ll be around.”

Yerin thanked him profusely, discreetly shooting you a wink that was more than enough to say I told you so. “Okay, I’ll get you to the reception and get them to take you to both your rooms. Today is a chill day so take the time to enjoy the hotel and the pool a little. Everything is taken care of so don’t worry your pretty little heads about using the amenities.”

You ended up rooming with Yerin’s friend, Minji, who was nearly as loud as Yerin, but half as stressed about the entire thing. “You know Yerin, always fussing over the little things.”

“Typical,” you shook your head. “Who’s your date for the wedding?”

“My boyfriend,” she grinned, teeth blinding. “I dragged him all the way here and he’s just… great. I love him.”

“I’m sure,” you laughed.

“Was that your boyfriend too? I saw him come into my guy’s room. I guess they’re roommates.”

You blushed, shaking your head and coughing. “No, no. He’s my best friend, we’ve been attached at the hip for forever.”

“Mhm, I’m sure.” She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. “He’s cute.”

“That he is,” you murmured.

Hoseok and you ended up exploring the island a little, visiting tourist destinations for the rest of the day and relaxing at the beach’s bar with enough alcohol to get you through the day. For a little while, it slipped your mind that you were here for your cousin’s wedding, that you weren’t actually there for a vacation with Hoseok. That was why when Yerin announced the rehearsal dinner schedule for the next day, reality sank in far too fast and far too bitterly.

Under Yerin’s command, everyone moved perfectly like gears in a well-oiled machine. The master of ceremony was hilarious, Yerin’s old friend, but also kept things appropriate for the adults. Her bridesmaids were adorable and sweet. The groomsmen, admittedly, were all incredibly good-looking. Including Hoseok who looked too delectable in his black suit.

After the formal part was over, dinner was served and all that was left was for you to mingle with your family, talk to some cousins, answer prying questions from aunts and uncles who hadn’t seen you in years. Hoseok had blended in smoothly too with the rest of your family, his smile winning over relatives old and young. The kids absolutely adored him.

You couldn’t help your gaze from wandering over to him the entire night, watching how well he interacted with your family and how easily he fitted himself into the space he didn’t even belong in. And that was what hurt the most, knowing that your fantasies and imagination weren’t real, that Hoseok really was just a friend and that he was here as a favor to you.

Yerin slipped into the empty seat next to you, picking up a glass of champagne and sipping it. “Why are you being a bummer?”

Pouting, you said, “I’m not.”

“Yes, you are. You’ve been looking at Hoseok with puppy dog eyes for the past three hours and you haven’t taken your eyes off his ass—oh my God, you guys fucked didn’t you?”

“Yerin!”

“Oh my God,” she gasped, slamming her hand down on the table with a giggle. So, she was a little tipsy. “You guys did. Oh my God, this is precious. Wait, tell me, is he as good as he seems then? Boy looks like he packs in a lot in those pants.” She licked her lips.

“YERIN.”

“Details,” she whined. “Let me live vicariously through you. Is he putting those dancer hips to good use? What about the abs? Tell me you’ve licked them at least.”

You groaned into your hands, wondering how the hell you ended up in this mess.

“Come on, you can’t keep this from me.”

“Yes, yes, okay, we’ve fucked.” You hissed quietly at her. Hoseok threw curious glances your way as he tried to balance his focus between you and his conversation partner. You winced and turned to her again. “It’s been going on for a while. We were drunk the first time but it kept happening and we just let it happen.”

“So fuck buddies? Never thought it’d turn out like that.”

“Yeah, sort of. But—God—I’m so in love with him, which is the worst part. And he doesn’t even fucking know. The least he could do is be an asshole and treat me like a casual hookup, but no, he has to be sweet. Oh God.”

“That boy doesn’t have an asshole bone in his body. He’s all sweet raspberry tarts and the crèmè de la crèmè.”

“He is, he really is.”

She grinned, poking your cheek. “You’re so whipped.”

“Yes, I am.”

That same night, you were fresh out of the shower when a knock came at the door. The clock showed that it was well past midnight so you wondered who that was. Hoseok stood there in the doorway, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. You raised an eyebrow. “I got sexiled from my room. They’re really going at it.”

As if on cue, there was a thump then a shriek.

You laughed, opening the door further for him. “Alright, come in.”

He looked around the room, before turning around to face you. “Wait, you only have one bed?”

“Yeah, Minji and I have been sharing.” You shrugged, drying your hair with your towel.

“Uh, do you want me to sleep on the couch then?”

Oh. You blinked. You didn’t think that far ahead. Everyone had a long day ahead of them the next day with the trip downtown for shopping and the bachelorette and bachelor party. “No, it’s fine. We’re going to need to be well-rested and we’ve slept together before.”

He smirked.

“Fucking pervert,” you scowled.

“You started it.”

“Are you ten?”

“Out of ten, you’re right.” He snapped his fingers, shooting finger guns at you and cackling at his own joke.

How were you in love with this man? “Oh my God, shut up.”

“I mean, if you’re suggesting something.” He smiled, moving closer and slipping his arms around your waist and backing you up towards the bed.

You sputtered, a pretty pink blush across your cheeks. “I wasn’t!”

“We don’t have to.” He teased, knowing full well that you were already caving into him when his thumb rubbed circles on the bare skin of your waist.

Pause. “I didn’t say I didn’t want to.”

“Good answer,” he whispered, leaning close to touch his lips to yours. Things were slower and softer this time. Hoseok took his time to lay you down on the bed, stripping you off your clothes and yanking off his own shirt. He whispered kisses down your neck, in the valleys of your breast as he sucked on one of the peaks and his fingers fondled the other. His mouth continued to travel south, warmth leaving a trail of fire as he parted your legs and buried his face in between.

His tongue did wonders on you, slipping in and out and slicking you up just right. His fingers, long and thick, pushed inside you, earning muffled whines as you tried to silence yourself into the sheets. His teeth grazed your clit, nibbling on the sensitive nub as his fingers pumped in and out of you at a consistent pace.

“Fuck, baby, you’re always so wet for me.” He hummed happily. “I saw one of the maids walk by with a cute outfit and all I could think about was you losing that dare for Halloween and dressing up as the sexiest maid I’ve ever fucking seen in my entire life.”

“Hoseok,” you whimpered. It was hard to forget that night. It certainly wasn’t the first, but it had been one of the most memorable. He had bent you over the sink in the bathroom as the frat’s annual Halloween party went on downstairs. He told you to call him master and beg for him to fuck you. You had complied all too easily and ended up with one of the best orgasms of your life. “Fuck me please.”

“Your wish is my command,” he grinned, sliding up the bed and snatching a condom from his wallet. It didn’t take him long to prepare himself, pushing your legs up and over his shoulders, your ass lifted off the sheets held by his strong hands. He pushed himself inside of you slowly as his eyes watched your reaction, every shift of muscle on your face, carefully. “Fuck, baby, just like that. You feel so good and tight, always around me so perfectly, babe.”

“Harder,” you moaned when he finally started his rhythm, his hips shifting as he thrusted into you and pounded you harder and faster. Soon enough, his grunts and your groans bounced off the walls, your desperate pants and his filthy words only emphasizing the pleasure that filled the both of you.

After you came the first time, Hoseok went on to switch around your position. You ended up coming multiple times that night, before falling into deep sleep with his lips pressed to your head and a promise of sweet dreams.

Sunlight streamed through the curtains the next morning, waking you up gently as your hand reached out across the mattress only to find cold sheets. There was a sinking feeling in your stomach as you scrambled up, eyes scanning the room for his clothes to find them neatly draped over the desk chair.

Hoseok stepped out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist, and you couldn’t help yourself from appreciating the defined lines of his lean body.

“Like what you see?” He chuckled. You blushed, looking away instead to the gorgeous early morning view outside. The bed sank as he sat down on the edge, brushing away the tangled strands of hair from your face. “You good?”

He always asked that. Always. More than a handful of times you wished you could tell him that you felt like shit every time this happened. But it wasn’t his fault and it wouldn’t be fair to him. Last night had been different, you could feel it. Neither of you were intoxicated, not in the least. Did it change things? Maybe so, but you weren’t about to bring it up if it meant that it would push the two of you to take a bad turn in this clusterfuck.

“Y-Yeah, just a bit sore.”

He laughed, “That’s good to hear.” He kissed your forehead again, his touch leaving tingles snaking down your spine. Every part of you warmed at the feeling. “Go get ready,” he urged. “I think I can already hear Yerin banging on everyone’s—”

BANG. BANG. “Get your asses in gear!”

“And there she is.”

The weather was friendly that day. Warmth kissed your skin as a few of you walked down a street lined with shops and vendors. Minji and Yerin were chattering away behind you while you watched Hoseok walk a few steps ahead, one of your baby cousins on his shoulders giggling away. Adorable.

“So,” Yerin started. You completely missed them coming up to you, too entranced by the sight of Hoseok’s back and arms in that loose sleeveless top. “I heard you had a little fun last night.”

You blanched, “What?”

Minji grinned, pinching your cheek. “If you can hear me, I sure as hell can hear you. Goddamn, it sounded like he was giving you the best orgasm of your life.”

“Minji,” you groaned. “Please.”

“See it was like that, but more intense and for Hoseok.”

You slapped a hand over her mouth, eyes darting over to Hoseok and hoping that he hadn’t heard that.

“Well, is it true?” Yerin pressed.

“What is?”

“Was it the best orgasm of your life?”

“I’m done with this conversation.”

Night fell upon the island soon enough, cloaking the streets in darkness. Lamps flickered on to provide illumination for tourists and locals wandering around the city. The groomsmen had separated an hour or two ago, Taewon announcing that it was officially the last night of singledom, to which Yerin had scowled at.

“Nice to know you’re excited.”

“The last night of being single, the last night before I spend the rest of my life a happy man with the most wonderful lady in the whole world.”

Hoseok had had his arm around you, his fingers tightening around your shoulders, as you smiled at the sight. Yerin and Taewon were adorable, nobody could deny. His crazy matched up to hers. They were perfect. You could only dream of finding a relationship as incredible as theirs.

Meanwhile, Hoseok had bid you farewell with a kiss to the forehead and a stern warning to give him a call if anything happened. You just waved him off, “We’ll be fine. We’re just going to have a few drinks and probably crash because Yerin doesn’t want to be exhausted.”

“Good, don’t get with too many guys.” He winked one last time before jogging after the rest of them.

Yerin and Minji nudged you. You flicked both of them away.

The five of you ended up in a karaoke, Yerin tipping back bottles of beer, singing along to songs about the loss of freedom and the wonders of female independence. While Yerin and Minji went all out, stacking up a good bill, you sat on the sidelines with the other two bridesmaids who seemed habituated to this sort of thing.

“They pull this shit at least once a week, more when they’re both fighting with their boyfriends.”

By the end of the night, it took everything in you to convince Yerin not to give in to her impulse to go clubbing.

Apparently, your efforts just weren’t enough.

As Yerin and Minji leapt into the dance floor, grinding up against each other and giggling the night away, oblivious to the interested stares all around them, you stuck by the bar and nursed a sweet cocktail to wash away the bitterness inside of you. The other two girls had left earlier, saying their goodnights as they escaped.

You couldn’t help it. Seeing the two of them so incredibly in love and blissful with their relationships left a sour taste in your mouth. You were jealous to say the least. For so long, you’ve wanted something like that, something to hold onto. College was great, your friends even more so, but the type of relationship that people commercialized and you loathed was the type that you wanted have a taste of. Just once.

“____, come on. Dance with us!” Minji laughed, taking your hand and pulling you towards the dance floor. Your drink sloshed in your hand and you barely managed to set it on the bar top before the two of you squeezed into the tight fit of people. “Don’t worry so much, just let the music take you.”

With a little liquid confidence and their contagious laughters, you found yourself easing into the beat soon enough, throwing your hands into the air and following their movements with giggles leaving your lips. The three of you easily batted away hands that came a little too close for comfort, choosing to stick close. You were swaying your hips, eyes closed as you let yourself drift to the pulsing rhythm, when you felt hands—familiar hands—on your hips.

Opening your eyes, you whipped around to find Hoseok grinning down at you, eyes twinkling. “Didn’t know you could move your body like this in public.”

You frowned, sputtering, “W-What are you doing here?”

“Taewon didn’t want the strip club so we ended up here instead.” Hoseok called over the music. With a protective arm around your waist, he nodded a greeting to the two other ladies before whisking you away towards the bar. You looked back only to see that Taewon and Minji’s boyfriend had come up to them.

Hoseok motioned the bartender for two shots, handing one over to you, before tossing it back down his throat. “Fuck,” he hissed. “It’s been way too long for tequila.” He quickly sucked on a lime, shivering with the tart taste.

“Serves you right,” you scoffed, drinking your own and repeating his actions.

“You look like sin tonight,” he smiled again, hand still around your waist, tugging you closer. “Trying to pick up someone?”

“Maybe,” you flicked your hair over your shoulder, choosing to busy yourself with the hem of your dress.

“You know,” he ducked his head, lips brushing against the back of your ear. “You won’t have to try too hard with me.”

“What if I’m not trying to pick you up?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Touché.” He nodded, placing a hand on his heart. “I’m hurt.”

“I think they started eye-fucking each other,” you glanced over to the floor where the two couples were all over each other, hands definitely where they shouldn’t be in public places. “Do you think we can bail early?”

“Yeah, Taewon is completely sober and he wouldn’t let his future wife break her ankle before her big day. She’d kill him first.”

“That’s true, let’s go then.”

With a hand on the small of your back, Hoseok guided you towards the door and into a cab that would take the two of you back to your hotel. Your feet were dying by the time you reached the hotel lobby, heels clacking noisily in the empty space. “Fuck,” you cursed under your breath. “I don’t know how I’m going to walk in stilettos tomorrow.”

“You can always switch to sneakers, nobody will notice. If they do, they’d probably feel Yerin’s wrath.”

“God forbid,” you muttered. “Are you crashing in my room tonight?”

He looked at you, surprised. “You want me to?”

The implication of his words had you blushing, your hand waving his thoughts away. “No, no, I mean, considering Minji was already up on her boyfriend, I’m guessing they’re going to go at it tonight again too.”

“Fuck, you’re right.” He groaned. “Might as well then, thanks.”

The wedding was magical. That was an understatement. The hall had been transformed into a wonderland with the decor, a masterpiece of a creation when all of you arrived. You barely had any time to admire it as you fussed over Yerin and had to repeatedly stop her from leaving the dressing room to check on the situation outside.

“Yerin, for God’s sake, it’s your wedding day. You shouldn’t be messing around with that, leave it to the planner.”

“I’m stressed alright,” she groaned. Yerin was already beautiful on her own, but her dressed in her gown for the wedding was another story. She was absolutely breathtaking, like an angel that had graced the world with her presence. Aside from the scowl on her face. “I need work to destress.”

“We’ll handle it okay, don’t worry. You just stay put and enjoy your wedding and maybe have a shot or two.”

“I can use a shot or two.”

Walking down the aisle was nerve-wracking. While Minji was the definition of cool and composed, all poise, you were trying to hide your sweaty palms as you walked out towards the hall and to the door you were supposed to come out from. Hoseok was buttoning the sleeves of his shirt when he looked up, the breath knocked straight out of his lungs at the sight of you.

All the bridesmaids wore the same shade of champagne but with different styles. Your dressed hugged your body perfectly, the fabric had been made to enhance all your features. You felt pretty damn good in the dress and even more so when you saw the look on Hoseok’s face. Giving him a shy little twirl, you smiled at him. “Like it?”

He stood there, eyebrows raised, lips parted.

“I’ll take that as a yes?”

Choking, he nodded. “Uh, yeah. Definitely. Holy shit wow. You look—just—wow. Incredible. I’m—damn, wow.”

You laughed, pecking him on the cheek. “Thank you.”

Even as you stood next to Hoseok, shifting in your heels, he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. His glance darted to you every few seconds to admire the little details about you. He leaned down and bit your ear, earning a yelp and a blush from you. “You really do look amazing.”

“Thank you,” you repeated, a little quieter this time with how honest he sounded.

The walk down the aisle went smoothly, Hoseok supporting you the entire time and shooting reassuring smiles. But all eyes were on Yerin as she walked. She was practically glowing and everyone could hear Taewon’s sharp intake of breath. They shared their vows, slipped rings onto their fingers, before meeting in the middle for a sweet kiss to seal the deal.

The ceremony was even better. People were spread across the hall and the lawn outside, chattering on, hearts alight with delight for the happy couple. The bridesmaids and Yerin danced in the middle of the floor when Yerin’s supposed song came on and it was a fucking anime theme song.

“Did you seriously include this in your playlist?”

“Look. I fought Taewon about this, don’t test me.”

Then they were whisked away by dates just in time for Hoseok to swoop in and take you into his arms, laughing as he danced to the rhythm. He held you close in the slow songs, jumped around in the upbeat ones. He was a treat to watch for you and for everyone else. You could feel yourself falling harder and harder for this man. It was hard not to when he was this charming. Seeing him with your little cousins, twirling them around and laughing, was even more heart-warming.

You smiled at the sight and stood at the side, watching him interact so incredibly well with everyone in the room. He always had that kind of presence, like sunshine. Warm, welcoming, bright and enrapturing. You were drawn out of your thoughts when he showed up in front of you again, taking your hand in his as he led you to the floor, pulling you close for a slow dance.

“This was fun,” he murmured in your ear. “Thanks for bringing me here.”

“I should be thanking you,” you shook your head. “You came through last minute.”

“I’m glad I did,” he nodded, eyes softening as he looked into yours. The world slowed down around you as you looked up at him. You gulped down the lump in your throat, sensing your emotions overwhelming you. Fortunately, Hoseok chose that moment to break the gaze and press a kiss to your temple instead.

You followed his movements, listening to the sound of his heartbeat in his chest.

And for once, you were content.

The night soon came to an end as guests began to file out, saying their last congratulations and farewells to the pair. You waited until everyone left to finally take your shoes off, groaning at the amazing feeling. “Holy shit, never wearing these again.”

Yerin only laughed, pulling you in for a hug. “Thank you, cousin. You’ve made this such a great week, I owe you big time.”

“I’m expecting a dinner treat from the two of you.”

“Of course, of course.” She waved it off. “For both you and Hoseok.”

Her eyes twinkled teasingly and the two of you instinctively looked towards Hoseok who was helping the hotel staff clean up. A gentleman.

“He’s a good guy, ____. Keep him close.”

“I’ll try.”

Minji had announced that she was going to have celebratory sex three drinks into the night. Her boyfriend had quickly swerved her away from people and into their room. To have celebratory sex. But also due to a public concern.

Thus, Hoseok was left to resort to stay in your room for yet another night.

As you stripped out of your dress, breathing out the relief it felt to be freed from the fabric, Hoseok shrugged off his jeans, but found himself distracted by the sight of you in the sweetest pair of lingerie. He padded over on the carpeted floor towards you, arms wrapping around your waist as he propped his chin up on your shoulder.

“Oh God, Hoseok, not tonight please.”

But he was already mouthing at your neck, warmth kissing your skin and sending tingles down your spine. “Why not?”

“I’m going to be so sore tomorrow morning.”

“I love how much faith you have in me.” He chuckled, still kissing a path along your shoulder.

“I speak from experience, not faith.”

“Facts,” he mumbled. “I’ll go slow, I promise. You look fucking irresistible in these, babe.” His hands slid up your body, cupping your breasts and massaging them through the thin fabric. “These new? I’ve never seen it.”

The fact that Hoseok had your underwear memorized had you moaning into his mouth as he covered your lips with his. God, the two of you have stripped together so many times that you wouldn’t be surprised if you had his boxer brief patterns all imprinted in your head (though there was that one time he wore hot pink underwear).

“Got them before I left.”

“I like them,” he whispered, nibbling on your ear as he easily unhooked your bra, tossing it aside, and falling to his knees in front of you. He eased your panties down, backing you up to the bed where you fell onto it. Spreading your legs, he hummed happily. “You’re wet already.”

“God, I can’t help it. Alcohol makes me horny, plus I can see your dick through your slacks so well. How is that even possible?”

He only winked before burying his face in between your thighs. Before you could spit out another comment, he had your thoughts evaporating into thin air, your mind a muddled mess as he kissed up your thigh, moving to your core. He licked a stripe up your lips, tasting your juices on his tongue. He groaned, the sound vibrating through you as you clutched onto the sheets. He pulled you closer to the edge, parting your legs further. His teeth nibbled at your clit as his fingers slid into you, his lips doing wonders on the tension coiling inside your stomach.

“Fuck, Hoseok.” You hissed, eyes shutting to enjoy the full effect of his ministrations. He dipped his tongue into your pussy, swirling the muscle inside to stroke your walls. That along with his fingers had you whining and whimpering, pushing your hips forward to gain more friction. “Oh, God, just like that.”

Hoseok pumped his fingers in and out of you, your wetness making it all too easy for him. “You’re so wet, baby, shit. Do you like it? Do you like my fingers inside you? Or do you want my cock?”

You whimpered with his words, head thrown back as the ecstasy flowed freely through your veins. “Fuck, Hoseok, I need you.”

“Need me, hm?” He teased, slowing down his movements and grinning up at you with those devilish eyes. “Need me to what, babe?”

“Fuck me, I need you to fuck me.” You gasped when he ducked his head to suck on your clit again, thumb pressing against the nub insistently. You jerked your hips forward as a desperate whine left your lips. “Please, Hoseok. I’m ready, God, I’m so fucking ready for you.”

He nodded, jumping to his feet and pulling off his shirt and prowling over to you. You shifted further into the bed as he hovered above you, hands planted on either side of your head to keep you in. Lowering his face down, he kissed you sweet and slow. A kiss that left your nerves buzzing, your heart beating a little too fast. With your heart pounding in your chest, Hoseok kissed you again, distracting you from his sliding into you. Before you knew it, you were at his mercy. Cries and quiet pleas to go faster and harder tumbling from your lips.

Hoseok gave you everything you wanted, his lips finding you over and over throughout the night as he brought you to your peak one too many times. Not that you were complaining. But the softness of his touch and the gentleness of his lips had you on cloud nine, your mind and imagination high up in the skies. He told you over again how beautiful you looked tonight, and every night, how he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you, how wonderful you were.

You should’ve stayed grounded, should’ve reminded yourself that this wasn’t love. This wasn’t a fairytale or your happy ending. This was Hoseok and you. Fucking. Your actions driven entirely by lust and sexual tension that had built over the years.

So it shouldn’t come as a surprise to you that night as you laid next to him, lungs heavy from another memorable night with Hoseok. Each night with him was tucked away into a box at the back of your mind, somewhere you hopefully will never touch again.

Hoseok chuckled, staring to talk about the first time this happened between the two of you. There was a fondness to his voice that had you mistaken, that had you hoping for something more. He turned on his side as you turned on yours. His hand reached up to tuck your hair behind your ear, his eyes searching your face for any sign of regret. “God, even after sex, you’re fucking beautiful. How is that even possible?”

Your words caught in your throat with his voice. Burying your face in the pillow, you mumbled something incoherent about him being a total dork.

He only laughed, pulling you closer and nosing your neck, smiling happily. “Who knew how far we’d come with this?”

“God, I should’ve said no that first day.”

“But you know you can’t say no to me,” he winked.

You giggled, couldn’t help but agree. “Unfortunately. Otherwise lord knows I wouldn’t be getting this much action.”

He snorted, “Please. You’re a total catch, anyone would love to be with you.”

“You’re my best friend, you’re supposed to say things like that.”

“No,�� he flicked your nose, smiling. “I’m saying it because I mean it.”

And there it was, you could feel the word vomit coming up as you stared into his eyes, watched how his chocolate irises seemed to glow underneath the lights of the room.

“I like you, Hoseok.”

And if it weren’t for how silent it was in the room, he never would’ve heard it. Your voice was barely above a whisper. Hoseok froze, his eyes widening. “What?”

“I like you,” you repeated, a sigh this time. “A lot. I’ve been crazy about you for forever.”

If you had been the protagonist in some ridiculously romantic drama, that would’ve been the cue for Hoseok’s lips to split into a grin, saying, “about damn time” or “I’ve been waiting for that.”

But this wasn’t a movie.

Instead, he looked stricken at the confession, obviously taken aback. It took everything in you not to burst into tears of disappointment right then and there. You held it in, biting your lip as you waited for his response.

However, his phone’s ringtone sliced through the silence and strained air. He cursed under his breath, distracted by the incessant noise as he reached over to his phone to answer the call. His mom’s name flashed on the screen and he huffed, glancing apologetically at you as he got to his feet and paced the room away from you.

When he returned, you had already slipped on a robe, sitting warily at the edge of the bed. Hearing the door click open, you got to your feet and frowned. “Is everything okay?”

He grunted, running his fingers in frustration through his tangled hair. “One of my cousins fell sick and I have to go home tonight. Mom booked a ticket and everything. I’m really sorry, ___. I have to take off.”

“Tonight? I’ll help you pack up your things.” You hurried over to collect whatever he had left in your room. “Is it serious?”

“No, no, just that my aunt is out of town.”

“Of course, yeah. I can come to the airport with you.”

“No, God, no don’t worry. I’m already troubling you enough.”

“Don’t say that,” you frowned. “It’s no big deal. Wedding’s over anyway and you’ve been a huge help. Come on, I’ll help you pack.”

Soon enough, the two of you gathered everything and you took Hoseok to the hotel lobby, the regret etched onto his face evident the entire time.

“Hoseok, really, don’t worry about it.”

“I’m sorry,” he winced. “I wanted to be here for the entire thing but—”

“Stop it,” you shushed him. “It’s fine. Take care of your cousin, let me know how it goes okay.”

“Yeah, definitely.” He seemed a bit hesitant as he stood by the cab, unsure of what to do. “Look about—”

“Not now, you have a flight to catch.”

Relief flickered in his eyes, which admittedly hurt you a little. But he pulled you close and kissed your forehead, “We’ll talk about it when we get back to campus, okay?”

“Okay.”

With that, he slipped into the car and disappeared into the night. You pulled your sweater tighter around yourself, a foreboding feeling looming over you. Choosing to ignore it for the night, you crept back into your room and slept restlessly for the first time in weeks.

The next morning, everyone was hurrying around the lobby, preparing to leave. Except Yerin and Taewon who were planning to spend part of their honeymoon there before flying off to the Maldives. She called you over and you moved forward, smiling brightly and hoping that the exhaustion wouldn’t show on your face. “Good morning! Are you ready to fly back to reality today?”

“Ugh, never.”

She laughed, “At least you’ll have your cutie to keep you company.”

“About that,” you shifted on your feet. “He took off last night.”

“What? Why? Did you bite his dick off?”

“Yerin!”

“I’m just kidding, God.”

“He had a family emergency, his mom had booked his flight.”

“Aw,” she pouted, pinching your cheek. “That’s unfortunate.”

“Yeah, and it happened right after I confessed to him.”

Yerin and Minji shrieked at the same time, catching the attention of nearly everyone on the floor. You wanted to smack your face. “You confessed? Oh my God, what did he say?”

“His phone rang after I did but his face was pretty clear about the entire thing.” You shrugged. “I should’ve figured.”

“Please,” Yerin scoffed. “The boy only has eyes for you as far as I know.”

“Let’s be real, Yerin. The fact that he bolted right after—”

“His cousin is sick.”

“And hasn’t texted me since?”

“He’s busy. God, gotta give that boy some space.”

You groaned, “I know but this is driving me insane and, God, this weekend was just a mistake. I shouldn’t have brought him here.”

“I think,” Yerin started. “It’s good that you did. Otherwise, you both would be stuck at a standstill and stagnancy isn’t always a good thing.”

You sighed, pursing your lips. “Maybe.”

“Have some faith. Go get your man.”

As much as you wanted to follow Yerin’s advice and chase after Hoseok and explain the entire story to him, you couldn’t. It wasn’t as if it was your choice. You wanted to patch things up with him and smooth out any remaining wrinkles in your relationship, but apparently Hoseok wasn’t fucking interested in doing that since he started to avoid you.

At parties, he seemed to disappear the second you step into the house, fading into thin air. Even his friends questioned his sudden absence. You barely saw him at his usual spots, including the frat house, the juice bar he worked at, the dance studio. It frustrated you to no end.

Things were even worse whenever you texted him, asking him where he was and if he had time to catch up on things. His responses only amounted up to “sorry, been busy” and one word replies.

You weren’t stupid, you knew when you weren’t wanted and you weren’t about to push into his space when he didn’t even want you there.

Your distress didn’t take long to morph into anger and irritation. All directed towards Hoseok, a coward who didn’t even have the balls to reject you properly.

(you’d probably regret being so furious at him but you were pissed at the time so it didn’t matter)

It went on for another week. Another week of attempting to get in touch with Hoseok, another week of tossing your phone across the room with a groan whenever you turned out disappointed. Mina was upset about it, more so than you, and didn’t even hesitate to join in in cursing him out. “Okay, you know what, I’m going to introduce you to guys from my little black book.“

“Don’t you mean your phone because — oh, you actually have a little black book.” You noted in surprise, seeing a small book coming out of her purse. “Please don’t give me guys you’ve hooked up with, that’s kind of gross.”

“I alphabetize them and I wrote down whether I ended up screwing them so don’t worry.”

“I don’t know if this is a good idea.”

“Think of it as a very good and productive distraction from that jerk. Maybe you can even get some,” she winked.

“Mina,” you gave her a stern look.

“Trust me, it’ll be fine.”

Mina promised herself that she was a woman of her word. Instead of randomly plucking names from her book, she (and her very, very good memory) picked out guys that were compatible enough with you for you to go on blind dates with. You had to admit that it was fun to finally let yourself loose a little, give yourself a chance to open up to more people.

Most of the guys seemed understanding of your situation and did their best to at least be a good friend. Even if you didn’t leave the date with another one planned, you ended up with some great friends who were ready to lend a hand.

Of course, it didn’t mean that Hoseok disappeared completely from your mind. There were days you’d find yourself staring at the screen, contemplating whether it would be a good idea to text him again. Mina would put her foot down and take you out to keep you busy.

The desperation in you for any form of contact with him left a bitter aftertaste in your mouth and an unwelcome pang in your heart. Mina didn’t miss a beat, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. “Tell you what, I’ll set you up with Jinyoung.”

“J-Jinyoung?” You stammered, feeling the blush creep up on your cheeks.

“Yes, Park Jinyoung, aka your eye candy since freshman year.”

“You didn’t tell me you knew him!”

“That’s because I knew you would be freaking out like this. He’s a really sweet guy, funny too.” She winked. “I’ll text him to see if he’s free this weekend.”

“Mina, I need to mentally prepare myself—”

“Done, he’ll text you soon.”

On cue, your phone beeped with a new text.

Unknown Number [ 4:34 PM ]

Hey, ____ right? This is Jinyoung :)

You fainted.

The two of you texted back and forth for a little, you finding Jinyoung even sweeter than before. He set up a time to meet this weekend and even promised to make it a double date to lessen any pressure. God, what a sweetheart.

On the day, you found him waiting by the escalators, looking absolutely gorgeous as he usually did. He perked up when he saw you, smiling blindingly. Oh God. “Hey! You must be ____. I’m Jinyoung. You’re even more beautiful than how Mina described you.”

“Nice to finally put a face to those shameless lines,” you grinned back.

“My friend and his date will be here soon—oh, there they are now.”

You supposed that the world really did hate you considering the endless stream of bad luck that flowed your way. Turning around, you really shouldn’t be surprised to find Hoseok walking towards you, his eyes narrowed. A girl who was with him was rushing towards the two of you. She was cute. Dammit.

When the four of you were finally settled in a restaurant, Jinyoung lightened the atmosphere with easy conversation and his infectious laughter. But you couldn’t help your eyes from wandering over to Hoseok’s date every once in a while.

You recognized her to be one of the sorority girls who was super cute and had the reputation to be super nice too. You cursed in your mind. You should’ve known that he would already be dating someone new by then. God, you felt so stupid waiting around for him.

The girl curled up around him, hugging his arm and smiling up at him.

It was then that you chose to turn away from the sight, missing the way Hoseok kept glancing at you, as you focused on Jinyoung instead. You listened closely to the stories he told, answered questions he asked with interested eyes.

The ringer buzzed on the table, indicating that your food was ready at the counter. “I’ll grab it,” you volunteered since you were sitting closer at the booth.

“I’ll help,” Hoseok grunted, getting up and following you (still cursing inwardly) to the counter. He ducked his head when he got closer, “Hey, can we talk?”

“A little too late for that, don’t you think?” You smiled at the waiter as you waited patiently for the guy to check everything off.

“I’m just—I’m sorry okay. I really want to explain things to you.”

You glared up at him, spitting out the words. “You had an entire two fucking weeks to do that, Hoseok, and trust me I’ve tried talking to you but you weren’t interested.”

“I know but—I just—I didn’t know. I mean, your confession came out of the blue for me and I never thought you were interested and I was just really surprised.”

“Okay.”

“B-But, I mean,” he stuttered, clearing his throat. “I really do want to talk to you about this.”

“This really isn’t a good time and place, Hoseok.” You sighed. “Look, Jinyoung is really cute and he seems interested.” His eyes flashed then, lips tightening. “Plus you have Jennie and she’s interested too. So I don’t know why you’re pushing this.” Quickly collecting the tray from the table, you walked back to the table, ignoring the feel of your weakened knees.

The movie was even more awkward considering Hoseok had stepped into the rows right after you which placed the two of you smack dab in the middle, sitting tensely next to each other. The movie was a blur before your eyes. Your body was hyperaware of Hoseok’s warmth next to you, every shift of his body, every brush of his knee against yours.

Stepping out of the cinema, you felt the air return to your lungs as you stepped closer towards Jinyoung, eschewing Hoseok in an attempt to gain some form of control over your feelings. “I really had a good time tonight, ____.” Jinyoung smiled. “I can take you home if you’d like.”

“No, it’s fine, you live pretty far from my place.” You nodded. “Thank you though for offering. I’ll see you around?”

“Definitely,” he beamed, presence too bright. He leaned down and kissed your cheek, blushing slightly at his own actions. “It was really, really nice meeting you.”

“You too,” you murmured.

You waved before walking in the opposite direction, feet absentmindedly moving fast to escape any more awkwardness. However, feeling a hold on your arm, you looked back to see Hoseok, his lips set in a thin line. “Will… will you let me take you home?”

“Hoseok,” you winced. “This isn’t a good idea.”

“Please. We need to talk.”

Fuck. “Alright.”

The ride home wasn’t supposed to take more than fifteen minutes but Hoseok opted to take the longer route home, giving you time to stew and worry about what he was going to say as you stared at the road ahead of you.

“I’m sorry,” he started. “I’m sorry for avoiding you. I’ve never been good with all this and your confession was just out of nowhere for me.” He coughed, shifting on the leather seat, hands keeping a tight grip on the steering wheel. “I just—I never pictured you as anything more than a friend before. I know we were messing around but I thought that was it. We had a good thing going and I thought we were cool so I didn’t think much of it.”

It really should’ve been expected. Hoseok was never one to beat around the bush so you supposed he expected the same of everyone else. But still, it didn’t stop the deep aching in your heart as you nibbled on your bottom lip, choosing to remain silent.

He took a deep breath, “Then Mina told me that she was setting you up.” You stiffened. Fucking Mina. “And I, I guess I thought I had more time to think things through and make things work better between us, you know, but then she told me that and I was fucking terrified. I didn’t like the thought of you with anyone else, didn’t like thinking about you waking up in someone else’s bed, wearing their clothes, and their making you breakfast. I hated thinking about how they would have the freedom to kiss you senseless whenever they wanted, how they’d be able to touch you and make sure you feel loved like no one else could.

“I was fucking furious that Mina did that.” He chuckled bitterly, gritting his teeth. “But I was more upset with myself that I was too caught up in myself that I didn’t think about the possibility of you being with someone else. I mean, Jesus, you’re fucking incredible, anyone would be lucky. I was pissed at myself because I thought that I would have all the time in the world to figure things out with you. That was fucking selfish of me.”

You weren’t even sure what you were supposed to say to that confession, so you only pinched your lips and stared ahead.

“Then she told me that she was setting you up with Jinyoung. And I haven’t—I mean, I haven’t really been with anyone else since you—and Jinyoung kept trying to bug me to go out and shit but I didn’t want to. But when Mina told me, I jumped on the offer to go on the double date because I wanted to talk to you.”

That irked you. “You could’ve called me anytime, Hoseok.” You snapped. “Don’t give me a bullshit excuse like that. Hell, I was still texting you up until last week.”

He flinched, “I didn’t think it’d be fair to you to leave a voicemail or do this over the phone and then you stopped answering my calls.” That’s right, Mina had told you that it was time for a good cleansing from Hoseok. “So I figured i’d catch your attention if I did this.” His glance darted over to you, his expression looking sheepish. “I’m sorry, I should’ve done it sooner.”

You pursed your lips then sighed, “It’s fine. You didn’t know and I shouldn’t have pressured you like that, that wasn’t fair for you too. I’m sorry I didn’t pick up your calls but I was pissed.”

He nodded, “And you had every right to be.”

“Damn straight.”

Catching his bottom lip between his teeth, he looked at you. “So, um, are we good?”

“I think it’s gonna be a while until we’re going to be good.”

He looked a little hurt but nodded, smiling tightly. “Yeah, okay. I’ll work on it. I promise.” He pulled to a stop in front of your place, turning to you and taking your hands in his, his fingers rubbing circles on the back of your hand. “I really do like you though. I’m sorry I was taking years to get my shit together.”

“It’s fine, I mean, I wasn’t expecting you to like me that way.” You laughed. Lie. You did, but he didn’t have to know that.

“Stupid,” he muttered. “You know me better than I know myself, you probably saw this coming from miles away.”

“I only hoped.” You stuck out your tongue.

A short two seconds of silence followed before he asked. “Can I kiss you?”

You never thought you’d see the day Hoseok would actually ask first. It’s sort of cute, especially when he’s blushing and adjusting his position nervously. So you tangle your fingers in the hair behind his neck and pull him closer, touching your lips to his. “Yes, you definitely can.”

He smiled, pressing his lips harder against yours before pulling you into his lap. You let out a small giggle but wrapped your arms around his neck. “I probably have never told you this before but you’ve got the softest lips and I love kissing them.”

“Stop it,” you blushed.

“Don’t let any other guy kiss you okay.” He muttered, cheeks a light shade of pink as he tucked your hair behind your ear. “I might just snap.”

“I mean, I think I need to make you suffer a little longer, don’t you think?” The look of utter dread that settled on his features had you laughing and curling up more into him. “I won’t kiss any other guys, I promise.”

“Thank God.”

You entered the university cafeteria, tugging on your backpack when you spotted familiar faces. Hoseok’s face lit up when he saw you approaching, quickly scooting his friend over to make space for you. You offered an apologetic look before squeezing into between them. His arm instantly making its way around your shoulders as he kissed your cheek. “How were classes?”

“Boring.”

“You should’ve gone to me instead, I would’ve given you a better time.” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Mina faked gagged across the table, turning to Jimin. “I think I like them better when they were both too dumb to realize their feelings. Or at least, one of them.”

“You should see how he keeps staring at her pictures and showing everyone in the dance team,” Jimin rolled his eyes.

“That’s almost as bad as you and your girl.” Hoseok scowled. “Should I bring up the fact that you were screwing her roommat—”

“Shut it.”

“Ha!” Mina snorted. “You think you’re both bad, you should see how she has a picture of him printed up on top of her desk.”

“I do not!” You scoffed, turning red. “It’s like a childhood picture.”

“Aw, babe.” Hoseok nuzzled his nose into your neck.

“No, go away.”

“You guys are fucking gross.”

#bts #hoseok #armiesnet #btssunshinenet #sonyeondannet #bangtanwriters net #kwritersnet #bts writing squad #bangtan bookclub #hoseok smut #bts smut #hoseok scenario #bts scenarios #hoseok fluff #bts fluff #i wanted to try smthng new w the formatting so i hope it's okay :')

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