#pros and cons of the group oriented introvert?

[evelhak]

Travelling alone (when I'm well enough to do it) is so relaxing to me. I love being alone in a crowd. I love no one knowing me or looking at me, I love drifting through it all just taking everything in. Just vibing and watching and listening and breathing and being in tune with everything around me in private and peace. (Here's where I love technology too, because it's possible these days to talk to literally no one for the entire day, even though there's people everywhere. Not even at a store.)

I love having no schedule, no expectations, no obligations, not having to respond to anyone's needs, not monitoring anyone's feelings, not anticipating anything, not mediating between people, not being a connector, not everyone's "adapter", not seeking harmony and unity and trying to bring other people there. I love not having to try to make anyone see my point because my business is no one else's business in this time and space.

But I don't feel lonely or alone at all, I feel so connected to everything and everyone, on my terms. No secret, I have weak ego boundaries. Your pain is my pain, your happiness is my happiness, when it's in my immediate awareness. Your lungs are my lungs. To me, the people on this deck of the ship seem to all breathe at once, like my nerves extend to every corner of my area of awareness. It's peaceful here right now, because no one's physical or emotional state seems to differ too greatly from each other and I can just slip into the semi drowsy morning coffee feels. The "we made it to the ship in time and nothing here is open yet except for this cafe so let's stop and do nothing much" state of the group that is often only achieved at a time like this, in this hectic world. When people are pretty much blocked from doing anything else for a moment, they can finally allow themselves to relax. Everyone is somewhere between tranquility and enough activeness for casual, not emotionally exciting conversation and there seems to be a silent agreement that no one talks to loudly. The only crack in the peace is a few children getting stressed at a distance but even that is right below the discomfort line, their parents can answer their needs quickly enough for them to calm down, cry just a little and then calm down again and so on. The pace everywhere is slow enough for the waiters not to be stressed either. The sound of the plates being piled on top of each other is unhurried, not aggressive, more like a wind chime in a comfortable breeze.

It's the perfect moment, really. But I'm also not bound to it. I'm not particularly responsible for anything. If this environment got too much, I could leave and find a quiet corner and not explain to anyone. No one would wonder where I was or miss me, and that's a necessary freedom sometimes. Some of this is a symptom of my own overcommitment at life in general, for sure, some of it just an introvert thing, but either way, I'm looking for balance.

I don't think people often get it.

People ask me how can I do what I do, like it's incomprehensible to them, but like they also believe it comes out of nowhere, like it's just something I can do intrinsically... Like when characters talk to me in my head so much that I write a novel in a month. Or when people around me are miscommunicating, and I immediately know how to reword what each is saying in a way that won't go over the other person's head this time. Or when I anticipate someone's actions before everyone else, or I seem to immediately know where items that someone lost are, retracing someone's steps even though I wasn't there.

It's not something that "just happens". They just don't see how much of the work is done during my alone time, and that's why they may not realise how crucial it is to me, to just be alone unbothered and relax, take everything in and also "find my centre" mentally. If I'm overwhelmed I'm a completely useless barely functioning soulless mess, because I can't distinguish myself from the noise. I can't feel anything because I feel everything. I can't see anything because I see everything. It all just blurs together. It's alone that I feel myself and my priorities, and it's alone in a crowd that I come up with the frameworks and principles through which to navigate the mess of life when I participate in it more actively. I need to be alone enough to strengthen all that and remind myself, because the longer I am with other people and the longer I need to be active among them, the more it all starts to fade away and be replaced with what everyone else wants or needs in the moment. There's a pressing need to find the compromise between all of that, and if I'm overwhelmed and no one is listening, what do I do? I compromise myself, my needs, even my core values at worst, because the big picture is the most important and you can only change yourself. Also my senses just get clouded from all the sensing.

And I guess I'm still just not good enough at saying no and not giving up my boundaries at the face of anything from anyone that feels any amount of pressing to me. That's why being away from everything feels so freeing. Because I literally can't answer most people's needs from here. There's no pressure to mould myself into anyone else, like they are a solid puzzle piece and I'm an easily adjustable one. I don't really know what my shape is when I'm alone, but I do know that it's comfortable.

[thoughtsofanexcitedspacechild]

benders from atla in real life

So you watched atla and Korra and now you’re obsessed. Like really obsessed. You’ve tried bending the elements in real life but to no avail, and you’d still like to figure out what kind of bender you are. Below, I’ve listed a guide as to what I’ve determined are characteristics and mannerisms of all the bending types based on characters from the show and also real people I’ve met that share the characteristics of benders. (PSA: This is just for fun! pls don’t take any of this too seriously, bc it’s mostly just my thinking.)

Waterbenders: Waterbenders are smart, creative, and practical. They’re extremely organized and efficient and are so versatile, mainly because they’re often prepared for all outcomes. They are efficient and good at planning. 

personality: most water benders can be laid back and serene, but at the same time can be as raging and strong as a storm as shown by Katara. They’re very driven, and rarely change their course, being suprisingly determined and stubborn to reach their goals. They’re also very warm and friendly towards those they love and care about, and often are a good shoulder to cry on. They tend to excel in fields working with their hands as well as medical and healing professions. Their creativity and ability to understand people also make them great teachers. They’re also very family and goal oriented and strive to find a proper balance between both. They are often ambiverted, and like to spend time with people, but also need time alone to recharge. Water zodiac signs tend to be water benders as well as those who identify as Ravenclaws. 

Mannerisms: 

moving in a graceful and almost water like fashion

their presence and posture is softened but firm

definitely coffee people, but prefer it iced no matter the season and with lots of cream

love the snow in winter and the beach in summer. (obviously feel very drawn to bodies of water)

don’t mind and actually enjoy boat rides/don’t get seasick

usually lean but not too thin. appear toned and exercise well

soft skin that’s always moisturized

aren’t picky eaters and can pretty much eat whatever

are voracious readers

exceptionally good kissers 

core aesthetics:

beach core (obviously)

minimalism

light and dark academia (sometimes. it depends on the person)

Earthbenders: Earthbenders are stubborn, driven, and cunning, although earth benders can span a large variety of people. 

Personality: Earthbenders are unique in that they usually don’t have a few set personalities that they identify with, however most of them share a lot of the same traits. They’re often realists, and see situations for what they are. They’re extremely tactical, and have firm, set ways of doing things. They like routine, and like water benders, always have a plan. They’re even more driven though, and often push themselves and others to succeed and fulfill their plans. They’re precise and intentional, and often don’t do things just for the sake of doing/trying them. They prefer to stick to what they know works best. They can be introverted, extroverted, or ambiverted, (like I said, a very diverse group of people). Although they are very grounded and emotionally stable people, this makes them reliable and a good confidant. They’re decisive and strong in their beliefs. They tend to excel in craft work that’s repetitive, like ceramics, fiber arts, and sculpture, self made business, and analytical fields that involve planning and linear progression of hierarchy. Law is also a common career path seeing as they have a tendency to be unbiased and able to make decisions. They are most common amongst earth zodiac signs and Slytherins are the most common, although some may feel they identify more with one of the other houses since earth benders in an of themselves are a diverse group of individuals

mannerisms/characteristics:

surefooted and agile. rarely trip or stumble

enjoy workouts with weights/lifting

strong/stocky build. muscular

don’t like tall buildings, airplanes, or heights in general

large appetite. Like, they eat a lot

like going barefoot (@ toph)

late nights up studying

don’t willingly accept help a lot

strong arms and hugs/cuddles

square hands with short fingers

actually keeping a planner

loving spring and summer

love wearing all sorts of rings and bracelets

core aesthetics:

forrest core (think northwest of the us and dense forested regions)

sage green (that’s literally it)

punk/hard rock

organized clutter core (having things be cluttered, but knowing exactly where everything is)

Firebenders: Firebenders are natural born leaders. They’re always leading, and are excellent at commanding as well as instructing. 

Personality: These individuals unlike earth benders, are fueled by their emotions and passion. They’re also quite driven, but instead of being driven by logic, they’re often driven to do things based on their emotions. This can be a weakness, but it also makes them stronger. Once fire bending is mastered the correct way, fire benders are often very skilled at channeling and controlling these emotions. They are also brave and courageous and have a strong heart. They in the end always strive to do best and once their moral compass is pointed in a certain direction, they’ll follow it to the ends of the earth. They’re also extremely loyal, making them wonderful friends and confidants. Most of the people in this group tend to associate with fire zodiac signs, and the Gryffindor house although there’s also a large group that tends to identify as Slytherins as well. They excel obviously in leadership positions, but also specifically in law and criminal justice as their strong sense of right and wrong leads them to make the right decision most of the time. Like their opposite element benders, they share a distinct ability to teach just like water benders. They're often introverted and need time to recharge their social battery. 

mannerisms/characteristics:

hating getting wet

always warm

love cardio and workouts that make you sweat a lot

strong looking (honestly most fire benders seem to have an ideal body type) 

drink their coffee black un ironically without trying to be unique

can’t keep a plant alive to save their life

love summer

need good lighting to survive

surprisingly decent at cooking

don’t often procrastinate

loves cinnamon in cookies and cayenne in savory dishes

can be susceptible to fits of emotions

good in bed. (in general ;)) 

have obscure interests and hobbies (tea making, calligraphy, candle making, the list goes on)

Core aesthetics: 

DARK ACADEMIA QUEENS/KINGS

city core

royalty core

Airbenders: Airbenders are warm, compassionate and loving. Their strong sense of detachment from life on earth make these people very different, but interesting to be around. 

Personality: Airbenders come from the versatile element of air making them very versatile people themselves. They’re adaptable to change like water benders, but often these changes rely solely on creativity and not planning. Their commitment to live free of earthly detachment also makes these people very religious and spiritual people. Unlike earth benders, this detachment can often lead to indecisiveness and unsureness. Airbenders can often see pros and cons to both sides of a debate and it can be hard for them to make concrete decisions. Airbenders also don’t like confrontation or commitment, and will often choose to evade threats and sometimes even responsibility unless it’s absolutely necessary that it be dealt with. Nevertheless, this isn't necessarily a bad thing, and often times, air benders are able to deal with things in a non violent and peaceful way. They often are in a daydream, and most have big, bright ideas solely based on how much these people think. They often are kind towards everyone, and will make a point to be respectful, especially to nature and animals. They have a strong sense of who they are, and are often intuitive. They’re unique ability to create makes them gifted artists and performers, as well as spiritual and religious leaders. They can also be gifted writers and mentors to young children and students. Most are introverted, and prefer to spend time with themselves, as often times it’s the most rewarding. Most people in this category find themselves under air zodiac signs, (especially Libras) as well as the Hufflepuff house. (Although some may identify more with Ravenclaw, like Yangchen) 

Mannerisms/Characteristics:

you’d expect them to be graceful, but these people are clumsy as fuck. all. the. time.

despite being clumsy, they are great dancers, and often enjoy forms of dance as exercise as well as yoga

meditate/pray a lot

certified day dreamers

immerse themselves in fantasy worlds and fandoms in general

love sweets (especially any type of sweet filling in a pie crust)

use a lot of blankets

talk really fast when excited 

good with animals

love a good scented candle/incense

tea all the way

could spend HOURS cooped up in their room doing absolutely nothing

feel best during the fall season

could pack everything they need into a suitcase and leave within half an hour and not come back for months

cry at movies

will memorize and recite poetry because they want to

awkward but will honestly treat u right

good cuddlers

Core Aesthetics:

cottage core

art kid core

soft girl/boy

angel core 

[foundouthatdabiistouyatodoroki]

Explaining Dabi’s Bio

To be honest  I wasn’t actually expecting anything relating to Dabi to come I thought was Horikoshi is going to skip Dabi like he does with the other times when ever Dabi appeared in the manga. But when volume 25 came around we got his bio, I was completely ecstatic to receive Dabi’s profile though there was little info on his bio It didn’t disappoint. Finding out even a little bit about Dabi helps to learn about his character.

We didn’t get to learn Dabi’s age and real name we didn’t learn anything about Dabi other than his birthday and height. My hunch on this is this can all harken back to him being Touya Todoroki. His age and real name would reveal Dabi being Touya, the older brother of Shoto and the oldest Todoroki sibling.

I am going to go over Dabi’s profile and what it has to do with him in this post.

Dabi’s birthday is January 18, Dabi is born seven days away from Shoto. This puts a damper to the entire twin theory but wait! Look!

The 18th in Japanese is written 十八日 If broken apart in japanese it goes like this “To,(十)” being 10 and “ya,(八)”  being 8. If you read the kanji with the same kun spelling its written like this

When read like this it's pronounced “Touya.” This is a possible hint to his true identity being Touya.

Another thing to mention: Dabi born in the month of January which makes him a Capricorn. Despite knowing very little about Dabi (since his motives are left in the air), he has several traits relating to Capricorns. If you take an in-depth analysis of the Capricorn in Dabi’s character, there's a lot that matches Dabi’s personality.

Let’s go over with the star sign Capricorn and what it has to do with Dabi:

Capricorns are winter signs. They are... cold, serious, practical, grounded with unbreakable convictions. Capricorns are the most level headed of the star signs. They keep their cool in a crisis they rarely panic in drastic situations. Capricorns are traditional. They care more about the rules, have a set of values and principles they follow and are intolerant to others when they don’t. They are patient and plan things step by step very carefully. Capricorns plan long term goals and wait. Capricorns are cautious not reckless are careful and won’t take risks unless they know the pros and cons before they take action. Capricorns are focused individuals and really serious out all the signs are ambitiousness and completely passionate to reach their ambition when it comes to their convictions. Capricorns do whatever it takes to achieve their goals. They don’t care about the means on how they do it as long as it gets them closer to the success of achieving it. Capricorns will not share their true thoughts easily unless they have to. They are closed mouth when it comes to sharing info and withheld important information to themselves from others for their own gain. They are very resourceful. They work with the tools that are given to them. They are hardworking when it comes to reach that ambition to the point. They're considered workaholics which caused them to be detached from their surroundings. Capricorns keep their distance from others to complete their convictions. Though they appear cold on the surface that is merely an image they project: deep down they have a tender sentimental heart kept hidden under a harsh exterior. Capricorns put up walls around themselves to guard their tender hearts from other people. They may seem unemotional on the surface, but underneath they are driven and determined to set out to complete their goals. They are introverts seen as a wallflower in larger groups, in which they feel that they are out of their element. One thing Capricorns are is that they are loyal. Capricorns are family-oriented: they love being around people they love and are incredibly loyal to them they are willing to happily bend over backwards for the people they love this trait  is what makes them great friends and family members. They will distance themselves from said family if a member is perceived to be violent and harmful. A negative trait a Capricorn has its that they are unforgiving. They are serious about grudges to the point of vengeance. If you cross one you would never make it back to a Cawpricorn’s good side. They will hold grudges on others behalf (this part shows just how loyal they are to their loved ones). There’s no changing a Capricorn's mind once it’s made up.

Dabi is cool,serious and aloof. He’s the most serious minded out of all of the LOV, as seen in his deamanor in the missions that are given and the LOV activities in Smash. He’s grounded when he’s dealing with the LOV shenanigans and gets exasperated at their antics in Smash. Dabi may not have ambitions, but he has unbendable convictions. He's very determined to set out to complete his goals no matter the cost; he's so focused on completing his objectives that he has detached from other people to complete his goals.

That's something I noticed in Dabi’s character: that he has a conviction that he’s willing to do whatever it takes to achieve. Dabi working for a villain organization is proof of that the didn’t care about what the means are as long as he completed his objective.

Dabi’s cool headed whenever he’s in drastic situations you can argue that he’s indifferent to his surroundings but he’s acutely really calm whenever there's a crisis. You rarely see him panic in a given situation.

Dabi looks indifferent and crude however he follows a set of principles and values the LOV don’t. Dabi uses Stain’s ideals as a foundation he follows to bring down false heroes and wielding power with conviction.

Dabi is incredibly intolerant of other people: he insults those who don’t have any principles or values. Dabi insults Himiko, questions if the LOV follow a just cause, and wonders why the LOV don’t have any principles in the game Ones justice Dabi burns the back alley thugs calls them trash just because they wield power have no ambition in their bodies.

Dabi’s patient and preserving he plans things accordingly and waits for the next move. He was put in charge of the Vanguard action squad by Tomura himself. Dabi is cautious and doesn’t act too recklessly. In the beginning of the raid he tells the members to wait not act just yet. He uses his flames to hide the location of the meeting place when they complete their objectives; despite three casualties he successfully completed the mission in capturing Katsuki. Hawks and Dabi planned the High-End Nomu attack on the city After Endeavor defeated High End, he appeared and said “this isn’t what I planned,” which meant he didn’t think endeavor would defeat High End.

Dabi is careful when he uses his quirk. He knows its weaknesses fairly well and is careful in how he uses it the reason why he was absent in the LOV fight with Gigiatitinmachina for a month is because he’s well aware of the weakness his quirk processes and knows if he uses it too long his flames burn the skin off his body.

Dabi is cautious when it comes to people, as seen when he doubts whether the LOV follow the cause after Himiko’s introduction and didn’t trust Hawks during their partnership.

Dabi is detached to anything in his surroundings to focus on himself and his goals. Dabi is closed mouthed when it comes to sharing info especially details about himself. Capricorns are known for putting a lid on their feelings from others; Dabi keeps things to himself most of the time. He’s tight lipped whenever it comes to details about himself, he brushes off Tomura’s question about his real name, he didn’t share other details about the Nomu to Hawks.

Dabi’s rude and derisive demeanor keeps others at a distance so he would focus on his objective but also puts walls around himself from other people to guard his heart with his cold unemotional sarcastic and detached facade; underneath all that he hides his sentimental side. Dabi’s emotional side that keeps hidden by heavily guarding his heart is seen when he never opens up to the LOV even after he joined. Dabi still put up a distance with them and doesn’t share his true thoughts that easily he keeps himself.

When Dabi remembers Snatch’s words regarding family, he laughs about it while wiping blood from his seam below his eye says with this line “overthought things and kinda snapped there!” When he thinks about Snatch’s words on family some of his emotions flooded out this is where you see a glimpse on his tender heart. We see a personal side of Dabi that he usually keeps hidden.

Even after he joined the LOV, Dabi is seen in the background quietly observing his surroundings with empty eyes though it may seem like he is still being distant with them actually like a capricorn he's not into large groups of people he feels that it’s out of his element he has more a wallflower persona he not someone who prefers large groups of people his introverted nature shows through here.

One thing I read about Capricorns is that their loyalty: but what does loyalty half to do with Dabi?

Dabi might seem loyal to the LOV’s motives but if you look at it differently Dabi uses the LOV for his own gain to complete his goals, much like he does with Hawks. He's loyal to his own interests. Dabi wouldn’t work unless there's something in it for him based on his cooperation is based on those self interests alone. I mentioned before he's using the LOV and Hawks to achieve his own ends even says so to Tomura in Ujiko’s lab that he’s looking out for himself.

Though Dabi has a set of principles based around Stain that he uses in his own set of values. Saying that he's loyal to Stain’s ideals sound no more than an excuse to hide his personal motives. His actions are more personal than what he seems to do.

I believe the part about loyalty has a lot to do with family. If Dabi is Touya this might have more to do with his goal since its related to family. Capricorns are family oriented signs: you can see this similar trait in Ochaco and Shoto, both of whom have motives in becoming  heroes linked to their own families. Ochaco wants to become a hero to financially support her parents ; Shoto’s mother is one of his driving forces in becoming a hero during an All Might interview he watched. Just like Ochaco and Shoto, Dabi’s motives are driven by family. Dabi caring about his family is seen as Touya, he played with his siblings and he was close to Natsuo when he was younger.

Capricorns are unforgiving when someone has wronged them. Once you get on their bad side it's impossible to make it back in their favor this will go to the point of vengefulness. Capricorns will hold grudges on others behalf showing how loyal they are to their loved ones. As I previously talked about, Dabi’s own actions are stemmed from hatred which meant that Dabi’s real objective is to get revenge on Endeavor for abusing him and the rest of his family. Dabi is Touya getting revenge on Endeavor would go hand in hand with the vengeful aspect of the Capricorn. Dabi if Touya doesn’t just only want to get revenge on Endeavor for his suffering but the suffering he put the rest of his family through.  

Capricorns are winter signs, which  might hint that Dabi if Touya has a fire quirk but an ice body.

Another thing I noticed when I was reaching is that this star sign is very complex and contradictory this part would reference Dabi’s entire character in the series. The capricorn having the goat’s torso and the fish tale being both emotional and rational, which says all about Dabi’s character in a nutshell. He claims he is going to fulfill the hero killers will but in reality it's the more in it for himself. Dabi acts cold and logical at the surface but deep down he is emotional and driven. That is what Dabi’s star sign, Capricorn, represents.

Next is Dabi’s height being 176cm. His height bears a striking resemblance to Shoto’s height in his bio.

Dabi and Shoto are foils seen in their bios: their birthdays in the same month with both being capricorn’s, similar height

All this info references Dabi being Shoto’s a villainess parallel, and further hinting at the connection between them.

Last but certainly not least Dabi’s favorite thing is put under as unknown. In MHA, the characters likes in their bios say something about their personality, quirk, and role in the story. Shoto for example his favorite thing is Soba noodles (the kind that aren’t hot).

Soba noodles comes in both hot and cold reference to his quirk half hot half cold. Shoto only liking them it cold referenced on how he favors using the ice side of his quirk, and soba being a traditional Japanese food also refers to Shoto being a traditional Japanese character in design.

Dabi’s favorite things are put under as unknown this further exemplified the mystery of Dabi’s character and further correlates to the mystery he has and his essence being hard to grasp for the audience.

What do you think of Dabi bio does it match with his character? Is there anything I left out?Something I forgot to mention in this post? If you think feel free to put here in the post.

[favoriselovealina]

16 Habits Of Highly Sensitive People

By Amanda L. Chan

Do you feel like you reflect on things more than everyone else? Do you find yourself worrying about how other people feel? Do you prefer quieter, less chaotic environments?

If the above sound true to you, you may be highly sensitive. The personality trait -- which was first researched by Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D., in the early 1990s -- is relatively common, with as many as one in five people possessing it. Aron, who has written multiple studies and books on high sensitivity, including The Highly Sensitive Person, also developed a self-test (which you can take here) to help you determine if you are highly sensitive.

While recent interest in introversion -- driven largely by high-profile publications on the subject, including Susan Cain's book "Quiet," -- has brought more awareness to personality traits that value less stimulation and higher sensitivity, Aron notes that highly sensitive people still tend to be considered the "minority."

But "minority" doesn't mean bad -- in fact, being highly sensitive carries a multitude of positive characteristics. Read on for some of the commonalities shared by highly sensitive people.

1. They feel more deeply.

One of the hallmark characteristics of highly sensitive people is the ability to feel more deeply than their less-sensitive peers. "They like to process things on a deep level," Ted Zeff, Ph.D., author of The Highly Sensitive Person's Survival Guide and other books on highly sensitive people, tells HuffPost. "They're very intuitive, and go very deep inside to try to figure things out."

2. They're more emotionally reactive.

People who are highly sensitive will react more in a situation. For instance, they will have more empathy and feel more concern for a friend's problems, according to Aron. They may also have more concern about how another person may be reacting in the face of a negative event.

3. They're probably used to hearing, "Don't take things so personally" and "Why are you so sensitive?"

Depending on the culture, sensitivity can be perceived as an asset or a negative trait, Zeff explains. In some of his own research, Zeff says that highly sensitive men he interviewed from other countries -- such as Thailand and India -- were rarely or never teased, while highly sensitive men he interviewed from North America were frequently or always teased. "So a lot of it is very cultural -- the same person who is told, 'Oh, you're too sensitive,' in certain cultures, it's considered an asset," he says.

4. They prefer to exercise solo.

Highly sensitive people may tend to avoid team sports, where there's a sense that everyone is watching their every move, Zeff says. In his research, the majority of highly sensitive people he interviewed preferred individual sports, like bicycling, running and hiking, to group sports. However, this is not a blanket rule -- there are some highly sensitive people who may have had parents who provided an understanding and supportive environment that would make it easier for them to participate in group sports, Zeff says.

5. It takes longer for them to make decisions.

Highly sensitive people are more aware of subtleties and details that could make decisions harder to make, Aron says. Even if there is no "right" or "wrong" decision -- for example, it's impossible to choose a "wrong" flavor of ice cream -- highly sensitive people will still tend to take longer to choose because they are weighing every possible outcome. Aron's advice for dealing with this: "Take as long to decide as the situation permits, and ask for more time if you need it and can take it," she writes in a recent issue of her Comfort Zone newsletter. "During this time, try pretending for a minute, hour, day, or even week that you have made up your mind a certain way. How does that feel? Often, on the other side of a decision things look different, and this gives you a chance to imagine more vividly that you are already there." One exception: Once a highly sensitive person has come to the conclusion of what is the right decision to make and what is the wrong decision to make in a certain situation, he or she will be quick to make that "right" decision again in the future.

6. And on that note, they are more upset if they make a "bad" or "wrong" decision.

You know that uncomfortable feeling you get after you realize you've made a bad decision? For highly sensitive people, "that emotion is amplified because the emotional reactivity is higher," Aron explains.

7. They're extremely detail-oriented.

Highly sensitive people are the first ones to notice the details in a room, the new shoes that you're wearing, or a change in weather.

8. Not all highly sensitive people are introverts.

In fact, about 30 percent of highly sensitive people are extroverts, according to Aron. She explains that many times, highly sensitive people who are also extroverts grew up in a close-knit community -- whether it be a cul-de-sac, small town, or with a parent who worked as a minister or rabbi -- and thus would interact with a lot of people.

9. They work well in team environments.

Because highly sensitive people are such deep thinkers, they make valuable workers and members of teams, Aron says. However, they may be well-suited for positions in teams where they don't have to make the final decision. For instance, if a highly sensitive person was part of a medical team, he or she would be valuable in analyzing the pros and cons of a patient having surgery, while someone else would ultimately make the decision about whether that patient would receive the surgery.

10. They're more prone to anxiety or depression (but only if they've had a lot of past negative experiences).

"If you've had a fair number of bad experiences, especially early in life, so you don't feel safe in the world or you don't feel secure at home or ... at school, your nervous system is set to 'anxious,'" Aron says. But that's not to say that all highly sensitive people will go on to have anxiety -- and in fact, having a supportive environment can go a long way to protecting against this. Parents of highly sensitive children, in particular, need to "realize these are really great kids, but they need to be handled in the right way," Aron says. "You can't over-protect them, but you can't under-protect them, either. You have to titrate that just right when they're young so they can feel confident and they can do fine."

11. That annoying sound is probably significantly more annoying to a highly sensitive person.

While it's hard to say anyone is a fan of annoying noises, highly sensitive people are on a whole more, well, sensitive to chaos and noise. That's because they tend to be more easily overwhelmed and overstimulated by too much activity, Aron says.

12. Violent movies are the worst.

Because highly sensitive people are so high in empathy and more easily overstimulated, movies with violence or horror themes may not be their cup of tea, Aron says.

13. They cry more easily.

That's why it's important for highly sensitive people to put themselves in situations where they won't be made to feel embarrassed or "wrong" for crying easily, Zeff says. If their friends and family realize that that's just how they are -- that they cry easily -- and support that form of expression, then "crying easily" will not be seen as something shameful.

14. They have above-average manners.

Highly sensitive people are also highly conscientious people, Aron says. Because of this, they're more likely to be considerate and exhibit good manners -- and are also more likely to notice when someone else isn't being conscientious. For instance, highly sensitive people may be more aware of where their cart is at the grocery store -- not because they're afraid someone will steal something out of it, but because they don't want to be rude and have their cart blocking another person's way.

15. The effects of criticism are especially amplified in highly sensitive people.

Highly sensitive people have reactions to criticism that are more intense than less sensitive people. As a result, they may employ certain tactics to avoid said criticism, including people-pleasing (so that there is no longer anything to criticize), criticizing themselves first, and avoiding the source of the criticism altogether, according to Aron.

"People can say something negative, [and] a non-HSP [highly sensitive person] can say, 'Whatever,' and it doesn't affect them," Zeff says. "But a HSP would feel it much more deeply."

16. Cubicles = good. Open-office plans = bad.

Just like highly sensitive people tend to prefer solo workouts, they may also prefer solo work environments. Zeff says that many highly sensitive people enjoy working from home or being self-employed because they can control the stimuli in their work environments. For those without the luxury of creating their own flexible work schedules (and environments), Zeff notes that highly sensitive people might enjoy working in a cubicle -- where they have more privacy and less noise -- than in an open-office plan.

Source: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/highly-sensitive-people-signs-habits_n_4810794

[lgcsejun]

open events ; 005 -- ( na sejun’s personality tests )

mbti ; ( enfp - the campaigner )

enfps are true free spirits – outgoing, openhearted, and open-minded. with their lively, upbeat approach to life, they stand out in any crowd. but even though they can be the life of the party, campaigners don’t just care about having a good time. these personality types run deep – as does their longing for meaningful, emotional connections with other people.

enneagram ; ( 6 )

the committed, security-oriented type. sixes are reliable, hard-working, responsible, and trustworthy. excellent "troubleshooters," they foresee problems and foster cooperation, but can also become defensive, evasive, and anxious—running on stress while complaining about it. they can be cautious and indecisive, but also reactive, defiant and rebellious. they typically have problems with self-doubt and suspicion. at their best: internally stable and self-reliant, courageously championing themselves and others.

daemon ; ( black skink ) 

you are honest, well intentioned and intelligent. you respect and uphold authority and will climb the career ladder successfully in life. you are an upstanding member of society; someone to be relied upon and trusted.

sejun’s grown up in a very privilaged atmosphere that came with high expectations. his father is a very successful lawyer and all of his siblings became either doctors or lawyers (their mother an ex-model/actress sort of tried to steer her kids away from entertainment as a career choice because of negative experiences). despite this, sejun’s always been very artsy and it’s sort of left him to feel like a black sheep in the family because none of them really share the same interests or goals. 

he is very hard working, usually choosing to pile up schedules and keep himself busy. he’s prelaw (an emphasis in environmental studies), works a few hours at an internship his father got for him, and on top of this, goes through his weekly trainee schedule with not much time for anything else. sejun sort of finds himself in a constant overwhelmed state, never really relaxed (tw/ unless he’s drinking). 

though he’d rather not work in groups (mostly because he’s too nice to say no and is also a super perfectionist), he takes on a lot of the leader role, playing a very diplomatic personality when put in charge (he makes sure to listen to everyone’s opinion and weight all pros and cons). weirdly enough, he’s super detailed, it’s just that if something isn’t how he pictured it to be, he tends to kinda throw his hands up and pretend he doesn’t care. 

though sejun can come off as sort of a loner, he’s very friendly and spends a lot of time surrounding himself with others. while he doesn’t like to be alone most of the time, he does find himself getting overwhelmed if he doesn’t have any downtime to himself -- this is except a few people (sunhwa and kiha mostly). he’s kind of better described as an extroverted introvert, where he can play both sides. 

[queenisobelle]

48-Hour Tinder Journey

Modern dating is a very complicated thing as an in denial adult these days. If you are one of those singles among their group of happily married, engaged, or officially/unofficially committed group of friends, maybe you will wonder where you shall be seeing yourself years from now when you have set upon yourself the time or age of which you want to get married, have kids and start a messy but happy family. Pressures come everywhere ranging from social media memes to that aunt who keeps asking you about your plan on getting married. Why do they even do that? Will they pay for the wedding? Will they change those dirty diapers of your future little humans? The point is that those unnecessary single-shaming and social pressures come from everywhere and for someone who’s happy with his life, those things shouldn’t have mattered. Or if indeed they mattered, it wouldn’t have been such a big deal to stay as a lone wolf among the pack of hyenas which are high on endorphins.

Meeting in person comfortably is not for everyone so most people opt to use online dating. On a normal way of starting a face-to-face conversation with a complete stranger, it would’ve been awkward. I mean, how do you start a conversation from scratches? How do you approach a person without looking like a disoriented potato who forgot how to talk to humans? May it be on dating sites or social networks, the most common is through dating apps. One of the most popular apps is Tinder. Such app had existed for quite a while now that I even heard about it since I was in my junior years in college. Back then, I thought it was just a puzzle game app so I had to uninstall it out of disappointment when I found out that it was a dating app.

Fast forward. It’s 2020 and my bisexual male friend told me about how he met a decent guy from the app and how their first date went absolutely well so they eventually enjoyed the night that he ended up ditching our plans to catch up over a bottle of my favorite Mojitos tequila. He told me to try using the app coz you bet my magnetic bookmarks from Big Bad Wolf that I’m single AF. So I gave the app a chance and installed it and set a 48-hour countdown timer because the least thing that I want over my uncommitted hypothalamus is to be dependent on the app for social encounters. I’m an introvert and it could be a wicked thing to be stuck in a virtual dating app.

*I got mistaken as a trans quite a few times. LOL. Not offended, though.

Over the course of 48 hours, after countless “swipe lefts” and “swipe rights”, my profile had a few matches which means you both swiped right on each other’s profile signifying a mutual interest based on the displayed pictures and other details such as but not limited to age, sexual orientation and preference, hobbies, anthem, and a short bio of what you want the other person to notice about your profile. Out of those matches, not everyone is going to chat first so I did the first chat on some guys that I matched with. Out of those few chats, I have categorized the different types of guys that you can meet in Tinder into three categories: friendly, naughty, and boring. I can’t speak for the other guys that I didn’t match with or those guys that I matched with but didn’t chat either. The three classifications of the guys I chatted in Tinder are merely based on how they responded to my decent and friendly chats.

I figured out that most guys in that platform are not so bad at all. Most of whom I had encountered were friendly guys who share at least one same interest with me – books, TV series, travels, etc., etc. Some of them ended up being my friends or on mutual following in the other social media platforms. Those types of guys are usually easy going in chats and they actually keep the conversation alive and flowing. If given the chance to meet one of them in the future, I’m totally up for it and I'm sure it’s going to expand my friendship circle.

*I unmatched already so I cannot retrieve the convo from Tinder. We followed each other in Instagram so I had it, instead.

While most guys are friendly and decent, there are those assholes who want nothing but to hook up with girls. I know it’s the modern world where love is scarce and lust is rampant so having awesome sex is like the driving force for some people to date even without the mental and emotional connection to someone. Yes, this generation has gone so low to that level. So yeah, there are those who chat and specifically ask if I’m into hook ups or casual sex or FUBU but the thing is I am not. I know it would make me sound like a boring conservative but I still believe in love and the pure intentions of the soul. I dearly hope that those type of guys will realize that, too instead of just having the cliché mindset that “Boys will be boys.” The thing I hate about these fuckboys is that their hobbies of just fucking anyone available has been becoming a social disease which affects every life that they recklessly touch. I call it the “fuckboy chain reaction theory” which as I see is like a domino effect from engaging in casual sexual exploits. See for example, a fuckboy fucks a random girl and leaves her since it’s rare for that type of social engagement to be emotionally mutual. Then, the girl feels abandoned and desperately starts looking for something that she thinks is lacking in her life just because a random asshole made her feel that way. Next is that she eventually finds a guy that will satisfy what she thinks is lacking in her. Again, it’s rare for that type of social engagement to be mutual so either of them will feel abandoned and start looking again and so on. It becomes a recurring cycle of wrecking different lives in search for that emotional fulfillment from sexual feats. I do hope they find the one already so that the chain link will break. It’s not that I am against premarital sex. Just do it as long as you feel connected – not just physically. Again, some of these horny predators are in Tinder. Swiper, beware.

Most guys in Tinder are friendly and some are just horny assholes. Unfortunately, a few of them are just plainly boring. Late and thoughtless replies. Lame topics. Complete utter nonsense. I know, it’s completely normal to not know what to chat about but isn’t it just about the art of asking questions? Then again, we can’t force them to be someone that they are not so we are just going to leave them as they are. At least they are not those sexual predators, right?

I deleted my account as well as the app at the end of the 48-hour involvement, and left a message to all of those whom I chatted with because I wanted to be courteous and polite and also because I wanted to let them know. The message went like this:

“Hello! I’m uninstalling the app because my 48-hour personal trial is gonna end. Thank you for the time here. I’m gonna write a Tumblr post about 48-hour Tinder journey. Good luck!”

Tinder is not a bad place to be when you want to virtually meet people nearby. You just have to have the ability to discern people in swiping without initially meeting them. Also, be careful of catfishers and posers. If you get lucky, maybe you’ll find your one true match in this app. Some people actually got married after finding someone in Tinder. How cool is that? I’d rate the app 3 out of 5 stars since it has its pros and cons in terms of connecting with people. I wouldn’t recommend it as the main tool that you have to use for meeting people but it will certainly help you feel less lonely on your days of solitude. Happy swiping!

[hrjerry-me-blog]

The Hardest Thing About Being Self-Employed

Being self-employed isn’t easy.

Not only do you have to develop, market, and deliver professional services at a very high level, you also need to accomplish all of this in relative isolation.

The majority of self-employed consultants, coaches, and trainers run their businesses from a home office (often a spare bedroom). And although this saves on overhead and eliminates the headaches of commuting, it can be lonely, de-motivating, and discouraging — especially when business is challenging.

Making matters worse, a large percentage of self-employed professionals are introverts.  John Feldman, in an article in Forbes Magazine says, “Spontaneous conversation and self-promotion are typically not areas in which introverts excel.”

So even though we introverts prefer working alone and charting our own fiercely independent path, it takes a tremendous amount of effort to “get out there” and put our business messages in front of prospective clients. Maybe I make it look easy, but it’s not.

In the early years of my business, I did a lot of networking and speaking out of necessity. I wasn’t the greatest at it, but ultimately found a way to make it work for me.

Then I was lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time with the right information that allowed me to grow my email list and put an emphasis on promoting my business online.

In 2002 I literally “moved to the woods” in Boulder Creek, California (90 minutes south of San Francisco) where I’ve been happily running my business for the past 16 years.

I rarely travel anywhere for business and meet all my clients by phone or video conference. And email is my preferred communication medium. A perfect set-up for an introvert like me.

However, I’ve tried not to hold this up as some kind of ideal business model for self-employed people. If you haven’t built a big email list or if your clients are in large companies and aren’t looking for you online (as I discussed in my ezine of last week), then you have to work with what you’ve got — and that can be quite challenging.

Let’s look at the pros and cons of your self-employed situation:

What do you have going for you?

• You have a high degree of technical expertise in your field. Check.

• You do great work for your clients. Check.

• You’re creative and innovative. Check.

• You’re committed to making a difference. Check.

• You’re a sincere and authentic person. Check.  

What’s working against you?

• You may be somewhat introverted, not so much a people person.

• You don’t love getting out there, meeting people and networking.

• You are not very comfortable at giving live presentations.

• You’re reluctant at ‘tooting your own horn.”

• You do not solicit much support or advice from others.  

This last one may be the most important issue. All those other issues make marketing yourself challenging, but if you’re trying to do everything by yourself it’s even more difficult.

In an article by Andy Mort, he shares something very telling: “I am an introvert. That means that when I’m feeling down, chances are that I won’t actually go to you for help. In fact, I won’t go to anyone for help. You’ll have to actually check on me. I don’t feel that I should burden others with my problems, but if you come to me, I might just trust you enough to let you help.”

In the article, he outlines eight reasons introverts don’t ask for help. It might be fear of rejection, not wanting to be burdensome, fear of losing control, or a belief in self-reliance.

The thing we forget that as imperfect humans, we all have challenges and that we all need support. And the more we learn how to take advantage of support, the better things will go for us.

I’m not sure where I’d be in my business if I hadn’t been in numerous business support and mastermind groups over the years. And I’ve also hired coaches to help give me perspective and insight into my situation.  

So, ask yourself, “What difference would it make to my business and my marketing to get some kind of ongoing support from those who understood my business situation and challenges?”

My guess is that it would make a big difference.

Cheers, Robert

Action Plan Marketing helps self-employed people attract more clients through action-oriented marketing strategies that get you in front of prospective clients. Get our free report on how you can attract more of your ideal clients at this link: http://actionplan.club/free-stuff.

[twatkcox]

[The Keihancarl Diaries: June 2-3, 2018]

All right, this is going to be an awesome weekend! And best of all, it's right near my place.

Of course, there are some things I wanted to do first before proceeding to the main part of a really awesome weekend, the Pinoy Otaku Festival: Ai 2018.

To be honest, I'm still nervous about going to an otaku event all by myself, just like the last time. Being the shy, introverted person I was, I somehow managed to check most of the event happenings as well as missing some of them.

June 2nd

I decided on my favorite black fleece coat, my brown polo shirt, black fingerless gloves, and a pair of red socks. As much as I wanted to wear an anime shirt to an otaku event, I resist the urge since I'm not really keen on wearing all-black like the last time (all of my anime shirts are in black).

I left home early, but I decided to come to the otaku event later. For the next few hours, I’m dealing with a light to moderate rainfall, but luckily I didn't get wet.

Anyway, let's start with the usual mall-hopping fare and a sip of caramel frappe at my favorite milk tea shop in Lagro. I'll definitely need to calm down first since I tend to get overexcited at the thought of going to an otaku event for the second time.

I arrived at Fairview Terraces at exactly 2:00 PM. By the time I got there, a panel discussion Anime vs. Manga vs. Visual Novel vs. Light Novel is about to start. The panelists are asked about the first anime series they watched, as well as the first manga series/visual novel/light novel they read. They discussed the pros and cons of manga series adapted into anime and debating whether an anime adaptation is better than the original manga and vice versa (if I recall correctly).

There was a cute intermission number with OO-kun and Chu Chu, plus highlights of some upcoming anime shows on Animax (POF: Ai 2018’s official media partner), some performances and other intermission numbers, another panel discussion May Forever Ba Sa Cosplay (English: Is There Love In Cosplay) and a game show Anime Game Challenge. As for the latter, there were groups of contestants who answer the questions from three categories: guessing the anime character, what title of an anime theme song being played, and guessing who's the seiyū (Japanese voice actors) of the characters featured in a series of different anime clips.

There was also a singing game show The Otaku Singing Bee and another panel discussion about the issues within the cosplay community (Issues In Coscom).

The Otaku Singing Bee features the theme songs from old anime shows like DNAngel, Yu Yu Hakusho (Ghost Fighter), Fushigi Yuugi, Inuyasha, and Full Metal Alchemist.

For the first part of the game show, the contestants must rearrange the words that appear on the screen, that is actually part of the lyrics that will follow soon afterward. The second part of the game show, they must guess the missing part of the song's lyrics. One guy really nailed the last part of Ghost Fighter's theme song, too bad I never got to record it on video. It was really fun, and some of the audience/event-goers couldn't resist singing the lyrics to the opening theme songs, even if they are about to sing the correct answer.

As for the latter, the panel discussion tackles about the issues cosplayers faced in the industry, like bullying/cyberbullying and crab mentality within the cosplay community.

There was the announcement of those who will advance to the final round, and the first day of POF: Ai 2018 is over. I managed to upload some of the pics and videos, including selfies with some of the cosplayers.

June 3rd

Same outfit, but with a yellow shirt and striped white/black/yellow socks. I arrived at around 2:00 PM, around the same time as yesterday.

The second day of the event had singing competitions, cosplay competitions and the battle of the bands, with some performances, games, stand-up comedy, auctions, and panel discussions. I did have some additional selfies with the cosplayers too, some of the pics are uploaded to the event's FB page as comments to the cosplayers' posts.

I did catch Who Wants To Be An Otaku, an anime-oriented quiz game, and the panel discussion on seiyūs or Japanese voice actors. There’s also the Cosplay Idol Finals, but I didn’t get to see much of it since I decided to take some time off from the event for a nice stroll in the adjacent malls and check out some of the shops as well. I then head back to the activity center an hour and a half later.

It was already 6:00 PM and I'm starting to feel hungry so I immediately head to Yoshinoya at the mall's second level. I decided on a beef and mushroom bowl, which actually tasted like corned beef with mushrooms. It was okay. Cosplay Xtra already started by the time I head back to the activity center.

I then decided to have a sip of fruit tea. Come to think of it, CoCo already has branches in SM Fairview and Fairview Terraces a long time ago, but I've yet to try out their drinks. And so I did, and I had a Passion Fruit Tea Burst. I have to wait for about 20-30 minutes before my drink is served since the line was pretty long and there were a lot of drinks to be served to the waiting customers.

It was worth the wait, though I was wondering if the crunchy, tarty seeds from the passion fruit are edible. I eventually researched all about it, and it is indeed edible. I finished the drink inside the mall area.

And there's the final part of the event, the Battle Of The Bands. Eleven bands participated in the event, each performing a cover of their chosen anime theme song and either a cover of an OPM song or their own composition. In between the performance, there was an auction of stuffed plushies and other items while waiting for the next band to perform. By the time the eighth or ninth band was about to perform, it was already near the mall's closing time (about fifteen minutes to 10:00 PM).

Despite this, the competition continued until about a quarter past 10:00. The event finished at exactly 10:30 PM. By then, most of the mall's lights are dimmed and only a few restaurants and cafés are open. I got home at around 11:00 PM.

During the two-day event, I only bought a few souvenirs at the event (a couple of button pins on the first day, and a handmade keychain on the second day) since I don’t feel like spending too much, considering the fact that I have a limited budget for the entire weekend.

Regarding my outfit... well, there's a possibility that I might get mistaken for a cosplayer (I wish I was one of them, but...) since my outfits often include black fingerless gloves and the black fleece coat. Some cosplayers wear gauntlets and gloves as part of the [character’s] costume like in the case of Noctis Lucis Caelum of Final Fantasy XV, so there’s no surprise that wearing my black fingerless gloves alone will make them assume that I was actually one of them. A couple of guys asked if they can have a selfie with me, but I politely told them that I’m not a cosplayer... with an awkward smile, of course. Maybe I might reconsider the thought of wearing them again in my future otaku event visits.

They have the photo printing booth where you can have your photos from the event printed for free (I think you have to sign up first), though I never had any of the photos printed, which is a total shame on my part since that would serve as a wonderful remembrance of the event. Aside from that, there were stalls selling various merchandises, mostly anime-related stuff, and some food stalls as well.

There are also workshops too, one of them is the Baybayin Writing Workshop, where one can learn the ancient Filipino writing system. If you notice the unusual writing below the word Ai on the poster, that’s how the Baybayin script looks like.

The event is also helping out charities, mainly Hands Of GOD Charity Works.

That concludes the two-day otaku event, and just like the last time (POF: Danketsu 2017), it was really fun. I had a lot of selfies with the cosplayers and it was really awesome! I’m definitely looking forward to the next POF event, in a larger venue. I’m hoping for the event to be held in either Vertis Tent or The Elements at Eton Centris, but then I wouldn’t mind going as far as MOA Complex just to experience the otaku vibe.

It sure was a really awesome weekend to remember. Until next time!

All pics are taken by yours truly, Keihancarl. Most of the pics are posted to my private Instagram account, @kcox105.

[realtalk-princeton]

hoping to hear about the orientation experience a little more... the pros/cons and any advice! do you get any alone time during the orientation/free time?

Response from Amygdala:

I have worked in basically every position OA offers so I can talk a lot about OA. OA is great! The pros are you get to try new activities, be challenged in a safe and supportive way, get really close to the people on your trip and experience some genuine connection (being in the woods without technology and having to work together to camp, cook, etc. makes this happen much faster than it does on campus), and meet 2-3 upperclassmen who you can ask for advice. Also, most people have a lot of fun. We got survey responses from over half of the 2020 OA participants, and something like 96% of them said they would recommend going on OA. I would say some possible cons are that depending on how fit you are, you might find backpacking very tiring; depending on how into nature you are, you might find living in the woods to be kind of weird; and also that you don’t get very much alone time. From a leader’s perspective, it is really important that on OA I know where all of my frosh are at all times, and also that I am actively working to help them bond and have fun. However, we are working on a cultural change in OA that encourages leaders to give their participants some quiet alone/reflection time every day, because this is really important for a lot of introverts. Were I to lead again, I would try to give my group half an hour where they could meander a ways away and just spend some time by themselves. 

[nofomoartworld]

Hyperallergic: Astrological Aesthetics: June 2017 Horoscopes

J.T. Mitchell, “Elizabeth Mary and Augustus William Hillary” (1803), Watercolor on ivory, 9k rose gold, paper, glass, Museum of Fine Arts Houston (via Wikimedia Commons)

Gemini (May 22–June 21)

When it was just “Charging Bull,” we couldn’t have cared less. When it was joined by “Fearless Girl,” we got nominally more interested. And when “Pissing Pug” came along, we were underwhelmed by the addition but intrigued by the looming sculpture pileup. We can’t wait to see what mediocre figurative sculpture gets added to the equation next! Will it be “Clawing Cat”? “Hipster Hippo”? Naked Trump? Sometimes, Gemini, quantity can become quality.

Cancer (June 22–July 22)

It’s finally happened — the computers have taken over. Now that an algorithm has mastered the fine art of naming paint pigments, there’s not much we as a species can do but get really good at fixing robots and hope that our new automaton overlords keep some of us around to do repairs. Luckily for you, Cancer, your astrological forecast says now is a great time to acquire a new technical skill.

Leo (July 23–August 22)

The question of which celebrity would very publicly turn to art-making next has fascinated us since at least April, and we recently found the answer: Val Kilmer. We’ll reserve judgment on the works in his debut solo show, Valholla, until we see them in person, but for now we’ll just say that our expectations are low. There’s a cautionary tale in this for you, Leo: try to focus on doing one thing well this month, rather than splitting your energies between multiple projects and pursuits. You can’t be the top gun in every field.

Virgo (August 23–September 23)

Have you been following the protests and conversations surrounding Dana Schutz’s painting at the Whitney Museum and Sam Durant’s sculpture at the Walker Art Center, Virgo? You’ll have to tackle a major conflict head-on in the first 10 days of the month, so we suggest you study these two recent controversies closely. One is a prime example of evasive non-action, while the other shows a willingness to admit mistakes, talk to critics, and move forward. How will you respond to dissent?

Libra (September 24–October 23)

In Pipilotti Rist’s mesmerizing piece “Ever Is Over All” (1997), the artist struts through the streets of an unspecified European city swinging a giant flower, which she periodically uses to smash the windows of parked cars. It’s delightful video art, but it’s the exact opposite of how you should behave this month, Libra. Avoid calling attention to yourself or causing conflict at all costs.

Scorpio (October 24–November 22)

“Your ego can become an obstacle to your work. If you start believing in your greatness, it is the death of your creativity.” So said, of all people, Marina Abramović, and those are words you must heed this month, Scorpio. You run the risk of getting carried away with overly convoluted or abstract ideas in the coming weeks, but don’t forget to be mindful of more practical problems, too.

Sagittarius (November 23–December 21)

You’re not exactly an introvert, Sagittarius, we all know that, but this month you need to be especially conscientious about communication. Be sure to keep all the people in your life — whether allies or opponents — abreast of your activities and don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it. Some strongly worded artist-designed postcards might be just the right vessel for your thoughts and opinions.

Capricorn (December 22–January 20)

A thick canopy of shells and dirt crackled underfoot. Fantastical plants formed from wires, palms, plastic tubing, computer parts, glowing glass orbs, and prehistoric-looking hunks of coral loomed overhead. Alien masks and surreal creatures lurked in this sci-fi canopy, while fountains sent dark fluids cascading down trunks and branches. The central installation of Korakrit Arunanondchai’s recent exhibition at CLEARING in Brooklyn was an absolutely stunning and masterfully crafted environment. This month, Capricorn, you need to be similarly detail-oriented and controlling in your work.

Aquarius (January 21–February 19)

One of our favorite participatory public art projects remains Lorraine O’Grady’s “Art Is …” (1983), for which she and a group of performers in Harlem’s African-American Day Parade strategically deployed empty, gilded picture frames to affirm that, yes, each person at the parade — that, indeed, the entire event — was also art. There’s a kind of sweet romance to the gesture we find irresistible. The object of your affections will likewise be very susceptible to grand romantic gestures this month, Aquarius.

Pisces (February 20–March 20)

The greatest US artist of the postwar period once said, “Remember to always think twice,” a maxim he immediately and cheekily contradicted by crying out, “Don’t think twice!” Be sure to follow his advice this month, Pisces, as you’ll have a lot to gain in both romance and finance, but your success will depend on always weighing the pros and cons. Failing to do so will saddle you with Billie Jean-caliber problems.

Aries (March 21–April 20)

If you’ve been plotting a major life change or career shift, Aries, now is an astrologically advantageous time. It could be something as simple as trying a new medium or experimenting with a color that isn’t part of your usual palette, or something more ambitious like upgrading galleries or moving studios. And, for the seriously ambitious, a gentle reminder that Italy is looking to offload 103 historical properties.

Taurus (April 21–May 21)

Look, Taurus, we’re not saying you did it, but we have a feeling you know where to find the art from the Gardner Museum heist. You don’t, eh? What if we tell you there’s a $5-million reward? Would that jog you memory? Still nothing? What if the reward were doubled to $10 million? No? OK, well, we promised the FBI we’d put all our psychic powers to the task, but it looks like it was all for naught. In any case, one way or another, all your secrets will come out into the open this month.

The post Astrological Aesthetics: June 2017 Horoscopes appeared first on Hyperallergic.

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[hrjerry-me-blog]

How to Select the Right Marketing Strategy for Your Business

I’ve probably had more conversations about this topic with clients than any other: What marketing strategies should I use to market my professional services?

This is the fifth of five articles about the 5 Pillars of Marketing, my marketing model that helps get your marketing on track. Read the original 5 Pillars article here.

These days, there are more options to market yourself than ever before. And you may have a tendency to look for something quick and easy that will generate a never-ending stream of new prospective clients.

I wish that solution existed. Some of the newer methods of marketing, such as YouTube videos, are very powerful, but extremely difficult for the average person to pull off successfully.

Over the years, I’ve had tremendous success with three primary marketing activities. And I’ve also helped a whole lot of clients implement these strategies successfully as well. Nevertheless, for all of them it can take a tremendous amount of time and energy to get consistent results.

Here are the pros and cons of each strategy and my overall recommendations about how to integrate each one into your overall marketing plan.

Networking and Direct Outreach

This strategy about building relationships with others in your field who can connect you to prospective clients. This means having conversations, attending meetings (individually or in groups), and doing follow-up. Sometimes it means reaching out directly to those in your network (including LinkedIn), being proactive, and exploring possibilities for projects.

Pros: Networking is the most concentrated, focused, personal kind of marketing. And if you do it well and consistently it can be extremely effective in building strong relationships and trust with your business associates and prospects.

Cons: The downside of networking is that it can drain your energy. This is a particular issue for introverts like me. And networking only enables you to reach a limited number of people.

Recommendation: Start marketing your professional services by meeting as many people as you possibly can – face to face. Join organizations and associations and then learn how to use LinkedIn to connect with new prospects.

Speaking (Live and Webinars)

If you want to gain a reputation as an expert, nothing is better than speaking. And it combines the best of networking and writing, in that you are connecting with people directly and also sharing your valuable expertise.

Pros: Speaking can quickly establish you as an expert. And you can immediately follow up with those in your audience.

Cons: The downside of speaking is that, for many people, it comes with a high fear factor, therefore a lot of people avoid it.

Recommendation: As your network expands, start to find audiences to present your ideas through professional associations, chambers of commerce, and other groups both offline and online. Learn the skills of giving a great presentation and of following up with your audience members.

Writing

Publishing articles and books have always been a good way to market professional services. It establishes your credibility. And with the expansion of various platforms on the Internet, such as Medium, and tools such as Wordpress, it’s easier than ever to put your ideas out there.

Pros: There is no better way to get your ideas out into the world and in front of a large number of people quickly and at virtually no cost.

Cons: The downside of writing is the sheer volume of online material. There are so many articles published online these days and sent out by email that it can be hard to break through. And yes, writing is a lot of work and takes lots of time.

Recommendations: You should publish an online newsletter and blog as soon as possible. Work at growing your list and you’ll expand both your reach and credibility. Note that this can take years, so you need to be patient.

Social Media (supplemental strategy)

For independent professionals, social media is a fast and easy way to communicate about what you’re up to in your business. It’s worth the time to set up LinkedIn, Facebook and Twitter accounts.

Pros: It’s easy to set up social media accounts and start posting and linking almost immediately.

Cons: It can take a long time to gain traction that results in any new business. And it can also eat up a huge amount of time.

Recommendation: Think of social media as a supplement to networking, speaking, and writing. It can increase your visibility and credibility among those you already know.

All of these marketing strategies take time to master and don’t yield immediate results, but in my experience, the time and effort you put into them will reward your investment many times over.

Perhaps the biggest mistake you can make in marketing your professional services is implementing these activities randomly and superficially. For success, you need to do all of them regularly and frequently. And for that you need a solid, step-by-step plan.

Cheers, Robert

Action Plan Marketing helps self-employed people attract more clients through action-oriented marketing strategies that get you in front of prospective clients. Get our free report on how you can attract more of your ideal clients at this link: http://actionplan.club/free-stuff.