#puter how to get him to like me back

[extriella]

how do i make contact with the huzz…. fine shyt, if you will…

[starlitiris]

MORE POLYAMAROUS HEADCANONS NEOW!!!! /lh /nf

GULP. SIR YES SIR!!!!! o7

More Sebastian x Reader x Painter Headcanons

To feed the hungry fish & puter smoochers

And its actually headcanons this time instead of a fanfic of how you started dating! Forgive me if this is little rushed :,)

I was gonna add my shitty divider again but i’ll spare you this time

Living Arrangements:

So. It’s probably worth mentioning that in this silly little au, you and your significant others share a nice house near the ocean. It’s a safe house, hours and HOURS away from the nearest town. You get food sent to you every couple weeks courtesy of Innovation Inc, and they keep your utilities and such running as well. All of those assets you three provided to them were very appreciated and was enough in their eyes to warrant such a freedom (even though you guys deserved it anyway), but they still asked that you do some work for them. It’s mostly all remote work that you three do from home, but it keeps you all busy.

With that boring stuff out of the way, though- you guys love visiting the beach! It smells amazing, it looks beautiful, and with all of you being there together… it’s just perfect. You try to mostly go after the sun starts to set for the sake of Sebastian’s eyes. Especially with all the bright ass sand all over the beach, the daylight is BLINDING. But the sunsets on the beach are beautiful, and it never gets too cold out there.

Sebastian likes to just soak in the water. It’s cozy. Sometimes you’ll go out and swim with him, but for the most part, you and him try to stay on the shore or in the shallow end of the water. Painter isn’t waterproof. He cannot swim 😔. You guys are thinking about asking Innovation Inc if they could maybe fix that.

Your house has two bedrooms, one bathroom, a big living room, and nice kitchen, another room you guys turned into an office, and a big and beautiful back porch with an amazing view and a nice awning that covers it. Sebastian loves the porch because he can fit on it, and he loves the awning because owie ouch the sun it burns his eyes. The bedrooms aren’t really used since, well… you only would’ve needed one anyway, but Sebastian doesn’t exactly fit in either of them – comfortably, that is. So one of the bedrooms became Painter’s are studio, and you all turn the living room into your bedroom at night. Which leads me into other more specific (and hopefully shorter) headcanons.

Sleeping Arrangements:

You all sleep within the coils of Sebastian’s tail. You and Painter are always cuddling, and Sebastian will be either snuggling into one of your guys’ sides, or he’ll just lay down with his large upper body laid out on top of the both of you. Sebastian doesn’t often find himself in need of blankets or pillows, but if you and Painter are using them, then so is he. He likes to be under the blankies on top of u two to leech off of urs and Painter’s body heat :)

As for pillows… well obviously you guys are his pillows duhh

And you would think with Painter being a clunky robot that he wouldn’t be that comfy to snuggle with, but his snuggles are actually pretty cozy. He’s warm because of his running machinery, but he usually doesn’t get too hot. As long as he isn’t covered in a heavy blanket while the house is warm or whatever.

If you’re the type that loves weighted blankets then I’m sure you LOVE this sleeping arrangement. Sebastian’s size and weight is the perfect amount of crushing and Painter is always latched onto you like you’re his lifeline. If you’re opposed to this, then… well. You can try to shimmy out of the suffocation and maybe make some compromises with your significant others, but those two are too clingy to let you escape. I’m sorry. This is your life now.

Love Languages:

I can’t speak for you on what your love language is obviously, but I will happily explain the other two!

When it comes to expressing love, I imagine that Painter’s love languages are mainly acts of service and gift giving. He loves to do things for you and Sebastian and see you guys smile and be happy about it!! It fills him with so so much joy. He even took up cooking because he wanted to find other ways he could do nice things for you two. Thankfully him being a silly puter makes him decent at cooking. He did a ridiculous amount of research to make sure he would do it right. And of course he paints for you guys!

As for receiving, words of affirmation and quality time really show him that you guys love him dearly. ESPECIALLY words of affirmation. Please tell him you love him and cherish him and appreciate everything he is everyday it makes him feel so very loved.

Sebastian’s love language when it comes to expressing is mainly quality time. Just being in yours and Painter’s presence is enough for him most days. Whether you’re sitting in silence doing your own things, chatting his ear off, chatting with him, or doing anything together, it’s how he shows that he loves you. Sometimes he’ll follow you and Painter around the house like a lost puppy. To be fair, Painter does that with both of you too on occasion, but I think it’s safe to say that Sebastian does it the most.

Sebastian is a little distant. He isn’t one to ask for affection, he rarely opens up about things when he should, and overall he’s still trying to get used to… everything. Freedom, safety, some semblance of a domestic life, and having people around that love him and that he can be himself around. He’s still trying to learn that he doesn’t have to fight to stay alive anymore. So he’s distant. He knows he is. He tries to make up for it by doing things with you and Painter that he knows you both enjoy, and being around you as much as he can. Though, the following you around like a lost puppy thing is moreso him being clingy and traumatized and not wanting you out of his sight for too long. He loves you both and loves seeing you and watching you do things.

Anyway, when it comes to receiving, Sebastian’s love language is probably also quality time. And, on occasion, physical affection. He can be iffy about touch sometimes, understandably so – but there are moments where he’ll let you and Painter touch him, and it feels

Safe.

It feels safe, and right, and okay, and he won’t want it to end. He is severely touch starved and knows you and Painter would never hurt him.

I’m sorry I didn’t mean for this to get a little sad but I’m The Angst Author™️ and I can’t help myself LMFAO

Jealousy:

It’s okay to have jealousy arise in poly relationships. We are human (Painter is human enough in my book and Sebastian still counts) and jealousy is normal. What’s important is how you go about it. I just felt the need to say that before continuing with my fictional poly headcanons. Anyway!

Just like with the love languages section, I cannot speak for you and how jealous you get or how you deal with it. But the other two teehee

Painter gets jealous the most. It’s mostly when he sees you and Sebastian being affectionate with each other or having a good time without him. When he does get jealous, he doesn’t really… communicate about it so much as he comically inserts himself into whatever you and Sebastian have going on.

“Dooon’t mind me, just gonna squeeze in here!” He’ll say as he wedges himself between you and Sebastian wherever you’re cuddling or whatever

It’s cute. You don’t need Painter to say that he’s jealous for you two to know when he’s feeling that way. He’s a little obvious. So, whenever you guys see that he’s feeling jealous, you make sure to shower him in love to make him feel better and let him know that he’s always welcome to be included. :)!!

Sebastian is the exact opposite of Painter. He’s quiet about it. He tries not to let on that he’s jealous. But he also becomes a little more reserved when he gets jealous, so you and Painter can usually tell something is up. It took a little while for you and Painter to get him to start admitting to getting a little jealous sometimes, and during that conversation Sebastian said he knew how stupid it was that he ever gets jealous at all – but of course, because you and Painter are amazing partners, you were quick to reassure him that it was okay and showered him in love <33. The both of you eventually learned how to catch on to when Sebastian gets jealous, even if it’s a little hard to notice sometimes. But the more time goes on and you and Painter reassure him that you’ll never leave him behind, the easier it gets for him to open up about it, or not feel jealous at all.

And then there’s you. As I said, I can’t speak for you and how you get jealous, BUT. If you ever do get jealous and Sebastian and Painter catch on, they’ll be sure to drag you into whatever they’re doing and remind you how much they love and adore you. And they’ll be annoying about it, too. They’ll get excessively corny and affectionate on purpose and tell you how you’re the most beautiful person in the world and don’t know WHAT they would do without u ☹️!!!! Ur just so perfect and they’re soo lucky that an angel like U!!!! Loves THEM!!!!! And ur just so great and amazing and adorable and attractive!!!!!

“Sebastian, I can’t breATHE-” You would shout while your fish boyfriend is crushing you to death with his body weight.

“Neither can I when I’m around u” He’ll say dramatically, with a very dramatic and very fake sad look on his face.

Painter is also contributing to flattening you like a cute little pancake.

“Get OFF” you demand.

“We can’t!!! We just love you SOOO much, separating from you would be too unbearable!!” Painter says. Dramatically. While nuzzling you with his screen.

“Urgh- at least turn down your brightness, your screen is burning my eyes!” You complain.

Painter complies. “Oh, I’m so sorry honeybunches, I didn’t mean to!! How could I do such a thing to your beautiful gorgeous eyes :(!!!!” DRAMA QUEEN!!!

“You did not just call me ‘honeybunches’,” you say.

“He did,” Sebastian confirms.

“I did,” Painter also confirms.

“I hate you both,” you sigh.

“Nuh uh,” Painter retorts.

“You love usss,” Sebastian teases.

They’re a pain in the ass.

But they’re your pains in the ass, and you’re not actually as bothered by these situations as you let on.

They know that. That’s why they keep doing it.

[laswells-ashtray]

What if Sergeant Price was originally a weapon before he met Mac and Kate? I feel like it’d be a lot similar to how Price met Nik: a violent man turned informant.

I also think he reverts back to his old self sometimes, most likely in high stress situations or if someone crosses a boundary.

Anyhow, this is just food for thought. Love ya pooks!👋🏻

Firstly, being called pooks made my day. Love that. Secondly, for that reason, I shall be answering this before I close my puter and make shortbread. After getting to the end of writing this little tidbit I gotta say, one of the best asks I've ever received. It came to me like I was spitting the prophecy, it was such an easy write.

Ghost notices, he picks up on John's posture and demeanour when their mission gets fucked. Their intel was off and Ghost won't be surprised if they leave with a fatality amongst the group. But he sees John go from Captain who they were joking over comms with to John fucking Wick in a matter of seconds. They're violent people, the job calls for it but John is lethal. He pulls a man off of Gaz and snaps his neck when the cunt won't stop struggling, he doesn't blink when they look at him wide-eyed. He just moves on and plunges a knife into someone else.

Ghost watches him take a punch before he shoves a man's open mouth over the edge of a table and slams his boot into the back of his head, they all hear the crack of his jaw and Soap puts a bullet between the poor sod's eyes to put him out of his misery.

The way John moves is instinctual, it's like he's stuck in fight or flight only John has never been one to flee. Someone tries to attack him from behind with a crowbar while he's prying open a door and John beats the man with it until one of his eyes starts to gouge out of the socket. He's covered in blood, known of it his own and he doesn't seem to be aware of it. Or entirely present and that's what sets them all on edge, he's relying on some kind of instinct or past training.

And then suddenly it's over, the bodies stop coming and they're back at exfil waiting for Nik to arrive. The Russian isn't supposed to be there, no one comments on it. They'd all rather it be Nik than some wanker that none of them know as the adrenaline stops thrumming in their veins. John responds to Laswell over comms but he's detached, they can all see it and from the worry in Kate's tone, she can hear it.

When Nikolai, the glorious bastard, arrives with his precious heli he doesn't tell them to jump in like he'd usually do. He takes one look at John before getting out and approaching him like one approaches a stray cat. He doesn't wrap an arm around the captain like he usually would, and no friendly greetings with some muttered Russian pet name tacked on at the end. He makes a point of standing an arm's length in front of the captain, easy to step back out of reach if he needs to do so quickly.

"John?"

John stares right through him, eyes blank and scarily lifeless as looks at Nikolai. Simon nods off the sergeants and watches them park their arses in the heli, not without sending their captain varying looks of worry. Nikolai offers him a thankful look over John's shoulder and Simon offers him a nod but stays put.

It's John, he knows John and he trusts John with his life but the same man he trusts with his life is currently drenched in blood and seemingly unaware of where he is. He isn't leaving Nikolai to handle him alone even if he knows the Russian is as strong as he is.

"Captain, do you want Kate to call MacMillan?"

Simon narrows his eyes at the pilot, watching him curiously. He knows who John's old captain is, he's met the man before. Wicked funny and sharp as a knife.

The name seems to trigger something in John, he tilts his head looking at Nik with far more clarity than he'd had a moment ago.

"Wha- No, 'm fine."

Even John sounds unsure but there's a familiarity on his face as he looks at Nikolai that hadn't been present before. Nikolai looks relieved, his shoulders falling as some of the tension leaves him.

"You should call him later."

It isn't a suggestion, it's an instruction. One John doesn't seem to argue with as he glances down at himself, taking in his current state.

Nikolai glances at him over John's shoulder and Simon takes the hint to drag his arse back to the heli. They need a second, one he isn't supposed to be present for. He doesn't judge as he silently slips away, ignoring how John all but falls against the Russian's front.

[dadsbongos]

Hi!!! Hope you’re doing well - I just want to take a moment to gush before I ask something, because I’ve really enjoyed your blog since finding it:

1: your writing is SO good I’ve reread your dunmesh fics several times now & just eat them up every reread. I’m stoked you also have funger content & can’t wait to eat those up

2: your blog’s aesthetic is just 🤌🤌 chefs kiss

3: your chilchuck’s wife fic - I’m convinced you are the chilchuck expert you characterized him so well (& the bit in the 3some fic when he choked the reader ? gulp)

OKAY on the with the actual question: I was wondering if you have any chil thoughts for the chilfuckers? Maybe some sfw / nsfw?

thank youuu :] i'm so glad to provide for the dungeon community with both meshi and funger <3 and also extra glad to make the chilchuck people proud, he's my fav lil man

i have so many chilthoughts bc i am a verified chilfucker i need that middle aged man

nsfw chilthoughts 

MEAN mean man

Likes to make his partners huff and whine, especially if they start haughty or mouthy

Facefucking, especially, for the mouthy ones. Wants to shut you up and make you drool

Lately the thought of Chilchuck fist-fucking a bigger race has been making me sweat… like yeah lil man, get up in that thang… I need to write it. Maybe some dwarven wench who keeps mocking Chil, or an ogre that feels its appropriate to pick n lift him up while working

Schrodinger’s breeder kink - sometimes its all he’s thinking about and sometimes the thought is entirely uninteresting

Touched on it a BIT in my body swap fic but i think Chil has a really sensitive neck and likes being held there (maybe not choked, but grabbed and stroked for sure)

Has a secret goon for younger partners but doesn’t like admitting to it, the taboo of it makes him all hot especially since he knows most other races can’t tell. Like a VERY poorly kept secret that could ruin his distinguished reputation

i also have chilchuck fic ideas that i haven’t fleshed out, but thought it’d be a shame if they sat in my ‘puter unseen:

Idea 1: Reader is a young elf, only about 72, and against all odds began dating Chilchuck. On his 30th birthday, it's brought to attention that you’ll be in your 90s when he dies. Leading to a spiral wherein you’re just trying to live in blissful ignorance to your races’ lifespan difference, and Chilchuck assumes you’re mature enough to handle his death, move on, and remember him fondly… lol… anyway. When Chilchuck dies you study how to maintain your own mana without a dungeon and practice minor healing spells until you can do a full revival, which fails on Chil, so you have to turn to dark magic. Basically rewinding his life until he’s the same age as when you two met and he’s upset you brought him back because YOU could get in major trouble and that’s when you confess you didn’t tell anyone when he died bc you knew you’d bring him back -- and you’re a nutcase that keeps doing this every time he dies despite knowing he wants to die peacefully. Omg loving someone so much you need them at all costs even ruining their perception of you… 

Idea 2: Chilchuck helping a 20-ish(+?) y/o half-foot negotiate a contract for themself and he thinks they’re soooooo cute so they get together, and he’s kinda nervous to bring them around cuz you’re crazy young compared to him. Not even a child to speak of GASP. The party doesn’t notice at ALL cuz they have no idea about anything about half-foot aging and customs -- but his daughters look at him sideways lmao

and this is literally not even a full fic idea but i have a note from my chilchuck master doc for you lol

im so normal about him

[ehh-is-the-name]

You know when I said I'd make a Floory rug..?

So yeah, I did it.

This is your calling card to do the same. Make a rug, I triple-dog dare you. Don't know how?

Here's a breakdown of how I made The Floor:

Before fully getting into it, in that rb I said:

We could have so much mroe than what the shop offers- it could be glorious. I couldn't get tuft chin hair or flower power blush floor with $45 dollars at their store, but I could get it irl for the low low price of like a week-straight worth of work.

Ha... haha.... No. It took a lot longer than that. MUCH longer than that.

This is a little jitter lapse with the dates I worked on him. In each pic I spent around 2-3 hours working on him, except the last few in August. Those I spent like 3-5 hours on because I needed him to be finished before the semester started. My goal was to get him finished and sitting in my dorm, and I fucking did :)

= - - =

Starting from the top though, since I had the design after making the rb post linked, I decided on the size. I was watching the video showcasing him as a rug, and I gauged he was about a yard wide, so I based my measurements on that. I knew that I was going to needle punch him instead of latch hook him because I felt the punching would be faster. And well... I've done punch needling before this project so I figured it'd be faster than learning a new technique.

Here's what I mean, for a frame of reference.

Since I went the punching route, I knew he'd need a frame to be punched out on. To keep the fabric taut and all that jazz. Luckily for me I had a bunch of wood hanging around from an old bed's slots, so I made the frame out of that. Similarly, I had a bunch of fabric lying around.

Word of advice: DO NOT USE NORMAL FABRIC WITH A NORMAL PUNCH NEEDLE YOU WILL TEAR THAT SHIT UP. Learned that the hard way-

The fabric I used was NOWHERE near "loose" enough for a big punch needle. Loose in the sense that it has more holes in it. On the left is the fabric you're supposed to use when making a rug (Monk's Cloth), and on the right is the fabric I used (pic not of the exact cloth but close).

Notice that the holes on the right are a LOT smaller... I did not realise this mattered until I'd already primed the frame and drew him on with a sharpie.

Bask in his glory.

To give a breif on how I did this, I hooked my 'puter up to the TV with an HTMI, opened the image I had of him (it's a bit different than the of doodle in the rb b/c I wanted brighter colours), and literally held the wooden frame with the fabric on it up to my TV and traced it. I traced it from the inside first so that it would be mirrored on the side I would be punching on. If you draw the design you want to punch on the side you're punching on please mirror the image first.

Forgot to say, yes I had a staple gun too, so that didn't add into the price of making this Floory rug.

After this point, it was pretty smooth sailing, sorta... It would've been if I'd bought a thinner yarn for the main body. See, in this whole experiment, I was very dead set on keeping this project under $45 so I bought a large ball of cheap yarn. I tried to gauge how much I would need with the needle height (about 3/4 inch I used), but I got scared and just wound up buying this giant green ball that I needed to de-ply to work with properly. You could kinda see it in the jitter-lapse below, but yeah.

Before punching with this Red Heart size 4 yarn, I had to separate 1 of the ply FOR THE ENTIRE RUG. I had to pull out a substantial amount from the big skein, de-ply it, roll it back into a ball, then needle punch with it.

And why did I have to do this? BECAUSE I WAS USING THE WRONG FABRIC AND NEEDLE PUNCH FOR MAKING A WHOLE ASS RUG!!

I didn't know that the needle punch needle I had was an embroidery one, NOT a normal needle punch needle. Notice that it's small, and embroidery floss is the thing going through the hole and NOT size 4 yarn. And for the right, notice that it's also kinda small but the needle itself is a lot thicker, the channel that the yarn is going through is wider than the yarn itself- and that it's YARN AND NOT EMBROIDERY FLOSS.

Needless to say, it was aggravating and made the process take a lot longer than it should've. It wasn't impossible, I mean, you see him finished above and below, but it made it WAY more tedious, since a the thicker yard, even after being de-ply'd, still got stuck in the needle punch needle. After wresling with that off and on for... what about 4 months give or take, it was on to gluing and backing.

Going on the record to say that Tuft the World, Sam Made That, Shop Last., AJ MAKES, and BrokenBlvds' thread were the backbone of my glue searching, and rug-making experience. If you genuinely want to make a tuff rug (hand-punched or otherwise) their guides are so helpful <3

But for real, finding the right glue was a lot harder than anticipated. Many people said to use Roberts 3095 adhesive for rugs along with another glue, but I didn't have the funds for that, nor was planning to buy a whole gallon of rug glue I'd only for 1 project. I took up BrokenBlvds thread as my glue of choice, even though they were asking for something better. So far (about 3 months of use and a couple cleanings) the Roberts 6700 glue is holding up fine. The thing that isn't, is the yarn. After one vacuuming, fuzzies have been obscuring his eyes and junk. It's not bad, or even that noticeable, but I do miss his original state. That's what I get for using cheap yarn. I still love him to death tho.

Side tangent aside, I also used the 6700 because it has less of an odour, and I planned on bringing him to my dorm right when he was dry. While that was drying outside, I worked on the backing. The OG Floory rug had a nonslip backing attached (if I remember correctly), but mine does not! In similar fashion to the fabric of the rug itself, I also used left over fabric as his backing. For structure, I used some of my father's old uniform pants, and to make it more like dirt, I used an old bed sheet.

I stitched them together in a quilt-ish design so that the layers would be attached throughout the rug. That was a rush, but when I finished it I went out back and stuck it on there with a bit more Roberts 6700. When it was cured enough to come inside (3 days after gluing) I worked on the nonslip portion.

Had a rectangle of rug grip mat stuff, stuck some pins around the edges of Floory, traced the pins then cut it out. It's a little hard to see but looking up top, you can see a few of the pins sticking out around his edge.

After getting that, I released him from the frame, "pinked" his edges, and whip-stitched the edge shut.

That hurt my thumb SO FUCKIN BAD- Had to have pliers next to me for most of the whip-stitching, because it was so hard to get through the glue with a blunt needle. I used a blunt needle 'cause it was the only needle I had that could hold the yarn, and to keep in the spirit of the experiment... No way I was buying a needle when I had a needle that could technically work.

Now, in the name of the whole experiment, let me do a breakdown of the things I bought verse used:

Items Bought for project:

Green Red Heart Yarn - $15

Roberts 6700 Carpet Adhesive - $9

Wrong sized punch needle - $3

Total spent on Floory rug: $27

Items used in general:

9 different colours of yarn

About 1.5 yards of polyester/cotton blend fabric

1/2 of a flat sheet from a bedsheet set

1 pair of uniform pants

1 embroidery needle punch needle

4 (roughly) yard-long wood slots from a bed

Nails and screws (and the tools for those)

1 Staple gun & about 70 staples (I fucked up a lot of them & restapled)

A sewing machine

Pinking shears

Tapestry needles

etc...

Total if I had to buy all that: More than $45!

I put the lists side by side to say that I know saying "Oh just make it yourself" is easier said than done. If I didn't have all the shit I did, I would've just bought him myself like any sane person would. But no, I had the will and the materials, and I wanted The Floor in my dorm. And now here he is, along with my crazy ass Jhariah x hfjone bag...

That's for a different post- but forgive me, it's the most recent photo I have of him.

All and all, I had a good time working on him! It was very therapeutic to hunch on the floor of my living room and stab fabric a gazillion times to make The Floor from Inanimate Insanity. It drove me a bit inanimate insane, but honestly, I wake up every morning and see his face and it makes things better. So in reality, I guess you could say it was the friends I made along the way- thanks for watch

[emmkitt]

I DID IT. well. not really. i gotta be honest i had NO IDEA where to even start with this or how to code or anything so..,, i just took @pankiepoo s files and code (stealing files ??thats soo fancore SORRY MY DEMOns-) and replaced the fan images with mephone instead,, i hope thats alright 😭. but yeah shoutout to him for doing literally 90% of the work for me /gen I DONT KNOW HOWWW TO CODEEE i used to do htmls and css and id be ripping my hair out and crying just trying to make a text container LMAO

anywys because the code isnt mines i dont think i should make the files public hdhdhdh im sorry, also theres a few glitches that i really dont feel like fixing. I SPENT 2 HOURs JUST RENAMING FILES TO MATCH THE CODE going crazy,, and the fact theres still errors. im just lik…yknow what im leaving it, it’s added charm. maybe if i go back and redo the code on my own (that’ll end terribly and im also lazy so i probably wont) then ill upload it but. no promises.

also im not even kidding i had to rename 90 different images one at a time on FOUR seperate occassions because i kept doing it wrong. 🔥 shoutout to windows for being complete shit 🔥

SORRY THIS ENTIRE POST HAS JUST BEEN ME COMPLAINING SORRY SORRY DHDIRHDH

Anyways. he lives on my puter now. him and his like 800 twin brothers.

ignore the fact its 3 am

also the crawling up the sides ill need to fix eventuallg…. but not now im eepy

vandalism^

NOW HOW DO I GET THEM ALL OFF MY SCREEN THERES LIKE A HUNDRED OF THEM HEL

[error-code-desire]

Edgar is so annoying in an adorable way, do you have any headcanons on how he could bother a human he has a crush on? 👀

Hello anon! I'm so sorry this took me so long. Life, uh, life finds a way to be fucking difficult.

Edgar with a Crush

Edgar lives with you, because fuck you Moles and I said so.

Also because this arrangement makes it far easier for him to pursue you.

Assuming you have him hooked up to run your 'smart' home, his possibilities are endless.

He can get your attention in so many ways. Like turning off the wifi, or flicking lights on and off until you finally give in.

Or setting multiple timers.

Do not give him access to your personal computer or your phone.

Even though he probably already can access those too.

He likes to call you just 'to chat'. Usually he does this at inconvenient times.

He doesn't mean to! He's just so bored at home, all alone!

If he can't call he will text, and he texts A LOT.

He can see your browsing history and he will use it to ask an endless amount of questions.

"Whatcha lookin at?" You, currently viewing suggestive content.

He does this on purpose.

It riles him up something fierce.

In which sense depends on what you were looking at. If you're looking at a dating website, then he gets jealous.

Will glitch and lag the application out so you can't log in or make a profile.

If it's something that could be for him or his viewing pleasure---per say some fancy outfit or lingerie---he's ecstatic.

He's a little itty bit of a voyeur, and he can't help it. Not when you look the way you do.

Lots and lots of compliments, and even more not-so-subtle flirting.

If you're dense and don't pick up on it, he'll double down. Triple down. Throuple down. He will have you or he will combust. (Again)

If you do pick up but brush it off, he'll be sad, and as previously mentioned reinforce his efforts to woo you.

If you reciprocate his feelings, but don't tell him and instead flirt and tease Edgar back? OH BOY.

At some point he will whine about it and beg for your whole attention.

Give him some smoochies he's a good puter. He swears it.

[rowanraven08]

So I just need to fucking rant about my boys being stuck in the ‘puters. CAUSE MAN DO I HAVE THOUGHTS. Have probably said some of this before, but not all.

So I’m thoroughly convinced that they’ve been properly coded in, Sergey Ushanka style, and also based off that statement, there’s no doubt in my mind that it hurts for them. I know this is a different universe, but unless computer folks are a common thing here, why would the plot give them anything less than more trauma? But I’m actually kinda concerned about how they’ll be once/if they get out?? Like aside from the trauma of it even, Tessa Winters said you can’t code people in the way people really are, and I’m kinda worried that through the whole thing that they might be different, or have lost a little bit of themself, the way that if you put something through google translate to many times it comes out all messed up, mostly with the same meaning, but words have still changed.

Other than that even, how the hell is Jon gonna cope/currently coping with not being omniscient?? I imagine going from knowing almost everything to having to seek out the information yourself again would be a huge hurdle. Even if now he has the equivalent of what Elias could do, seeing out of any eye, but instead just seeing out of any camera, that would be so disorienting. Never mind the fact they’re in an alternate universe.

The whole thing just makes me so sad, they can’t communicate clearly, are clearly trying tooth and nail to help and to get the OIAR gang to understand, stuck in this nonexistence that is probably excruciating, and no one except probably Colin and Celia even knows they exist. (I’m operating under the assumption Celia knows what’s up, she’s a smart girl she knows this isn’t a coincidence) But Colin clearly fucking hates them, Sam is only just starting to realize the computers are listening, and Celia doesn’t actually seem to be trying to help them, the only thing we know about her research is that she was looking into alternate universes and time travel sort of stuff, and that now she’s looking into alchemy. My boys are SCREAMING to be heard and no one will listen.

Like what will they even do? Worst case scenario, they’re stuck like that forever. Best case scenario, they get out, and somehow manage to get home (unlikely in my opinion) only to be met with a world still rebuilding, where everyone hates them. Last scene in TMA? Literally Melanie, Georgie, and Basira talking about how it’s better off they can’t find Jon, and they’re right,

“I mean, I just don’t think people would exactly be understanding. You remember what happened when they found Simon Fairchild?”

“And he’s not just some powerless left-behind avatar, you know? We’re talking about ‘The Archivist’.”

People would absolutely kill Jon if he came back, and they knew who he was, and I think being able to fly under the radar isn’t an option seeing as he literally haunted people’s dreams for a while. Who’s to say he could even stay alive in a world without the fears? Death might finally catch up to him, the exhaustion, everything. I don’t think going back is an option for them.

Maybe for Celia, if it’s even possible. But I think at this point she’d be happier in Protocol universe than Archives. She couldn’t even remember her original name in late s5, and didn’t remember Martin, she seemed to have lost at least a good portion of her memory if not all. If that didn’t come back after the apocalypse, she has more actual connection to Protocol, the cult being her only real connection to Archives. Maybe she’s trying to get back just because of principle, she’s not considering if that’s really what she wants because it’s the clear next step. But I don’t think she’d be able to leave Jack behind. I don’t even think she really is his proper mother, I’m guessing she somehow took other Celia’s (Lynne’s) identity, and just took over caring for Jack. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t love him.

I really do hope Jon and Martin get out of the computer, it’ll be so hard for them to deal with everything, but maybe if they stayed in Protocol they could still build a life together.

Some other random stuff:

So I went through, and found (I think) all the times we hear the jmj. error.

Ep 3 we get an error, which actually starts working when Colin threatens it, and it starts up with a statement from our buddy Norris, and I actually find it kinda amusing to imagine Martin being scared into reading the statement by the frustrated IT guy.

We also get an error in ep 5, after Gwen asks about the German IT guy before Colin. Which a.) why is she asking about him, b.) if I’m right about the errors being an attempt at communication, why do they think the guy’s important? C.) I had thought before that the German bit of code could be Jonah or something since he may have known German? But pretty sure that was too speculative, it makes more sense for it to have just been the German IT guy. D.) he’s mentioned as having a bunch of tattoos, which so far has not meant good things.

Ep 17 which I talked about in a different post, where the error lasted long enough for Gwen and Alice to nearly talk about stuff, only starting up again once they end that bit of the conversation without actually talking about it

And then ofc in 19 when Alice won’t listen to Sam about the computers listening.

I don’t think I missed any, but I might have? So if anyone notices one I missed lemme know please

Also only just realized a few days ago that jmj. isn’t an ACTUAL error, I know Colin says ep 3 it doesn’t mean anything, but I had actually taken that as Colin just being frustrated, and hadn’t read into. Jmj doesn’t even fucking exist, my guess is that it stands for Jon Martin Jonah?

Also what’s everyone’s thoughts on Teddy? Because that man is getting kinda suspicious. Why does he keep showing up? He works into this somehow. Also why doesn’t he actually want to talk to Alice? She’s high energy and not very serious, but it sounds like the guy properly ghosted her, keeps lying about how they’ll hang out more, or how he’ll text her back, could just be him being a bit of a dick, or maybe she did something to kinda deserve it, but it’s could be he’s trying to keep her at a distance to keep her safe? Especially if he is already wrapped up in this crap.

[thinking-outside-the-giftbox18]

please tell me more about your au with benrey x gordon x barney

like I want to know how benrey and barney are specifically, i'm very curious

I am SO SO GLAD that you're asking about my lore/ship because I want to share more about my goobers and their universe!

Note: I do NOT know the entirety of Half-Life. I was making lore for my TSP (The Stanley Parable) universe which is a part of a multiverse. I watched HLVRAI by mistake when I mistook Benry for Barney and I just love HLVRAI and Benry that it’s hard not to put it in the lore.

About the Ship - GeeBees:

A proper love triangle where all three love, respect, and care for each other.

Gordon (he/him; FTM) is curious and everything about Benry fascinates him. Barney and Gordon are childhood friends and had become lovers after HL2 with Barney helping Gordon recover. Gordon would much prefer both his lovers safe and unhurt but understood that that'll happen once the Resistance finds a bigger base for shelter. Now, he stays at home taking care of himself and helping when needed, otherwise, he'd cuddle Benry and Barney when one or both are back home. He enjoys giving and receiving physical affection to his lovers and despises silence, so it's a blessing to have two lovers who make all the sounds they want around him. He was the reason why Benry sleeps between him and Barney after Benry warded off G-Man one night.

Benry is healing with Gordon and Barney for the better, he helps around with them and the Resistance base, and his affection is reciprocated and returned tenfold, it’s worse in a good way when Gordon and Barney proudly one-up Benry’s weirdness. He adores Gordon and is happy that he doesn't find him weird in a bad way and it does surprise him at first back at the simulation, but he grew to love his curious yet freaky nature of Gordon as he'd too learn new things about himself (like his true form(s), shapeshifting and purring). Barney and Benry just GET each other as they've experienced being left in the background and Barney could easily pick up Benry who is fine with being carried by hot people.

Barney had always been taking care of the two and making sure to not lose Gordon again, because of Benrey, Barney feels validated on his feelings and anxieties while also letting Benry help him around, though he does like to lightheartedly tease Benry. Barney and Gordon being childhood friends helped a lot on their relationship and meeting Benry somehow strengthened their bond as the duo became a trio. Benry and Gordon would pay Barney back for taking care of them by taking care of him too. Benry even helps by shapeshifting into Barney to take his place at Combine when Barney's unable to work. And when Barney's anxieties get to him, Benry can purr and sing some blue balls into his mouth to calm him.

More on the Giftverse AU and how GeeBees got along under "Keep Reading" cuz' this is too long ^^;

If you or anyone reading this has questions, reblog, comment/reply, DM, and even ASK me because I'd love to tell more! ^^

I have AUs for this ship, just to let you know ^^

What happened in this AU?

The interesting things that happened BEFORE that: 

Benrey and the Science Team (Tommy, Bubby, Dr. Coomer, Darnold, and Forzen) were put into a simulation that would later be HLVRAI.

Gordon and Barney are childhood friends who managed to stay in contact and meet again in Black Mesa.

After Black Mesa put Benrey and his Science Team in the simulation, they all were put into this sort of hibernation until a player arrived and dons the in-game HEV suit as “Gordon Freeman”. This happened 3 times, according to Benry, and the gameplay is different each time. Before being put in the simulation though, Benrey took and hid a master code of the simulation which lets him do whatever he wants with the map and story of the game. The first “player” (2010) was a guide who helped take the Science Team around the Black Mesa map, and Benry named them “Puter”. Sadly, Puter’s data and memory were erased to make way for the second player (2020) “Feetman” and started what we all know as “HLVRAI” and Benry changed the story and gameplay of the simulation because he thought it was boring.

The third player (2030), after the simulation erased the data and memory of the game model, is both Gordon and Barney who exchange because Gordon takes mandatory naps to recover from his PTSD and morphine rehab, and Benrey feels hope on leaving the simulation just to see them face-to-face.

After the events of ResCas and Gordon waking up from Stasis to Half-Life 2, Gordon gets together with Barney and maintains a platonic/sibling bond with Alyx, who then gets taken to Stasis by G-Man. Gordon HAS witnessed Eli dying, only to see him fine yet grieving Alyx’s disappearance (2020). That made Gordon DESPISE G-Man.

How GeeBees met?

Gordon and Barney reside together in the White Forest Resistance base. The apocalypse is nearing its end (2030), but Gordon and Barney are more happy about being a couple after so long. One day though, Gordon opened the door to G-Man who gave him an errand of the day: Play a game and retrieve something important, and as he appeared, he left suddenly. He also left a Playstation 2 console in a box by Gordon’s doorstep, and Barney helped Gordon set it up while unsure of what G-Man was planning. Along with the console was a VR set and a game CD with a blank cover and “Half-Life VR” written on the disc with black marker.

Gordon put on the game and the headset, he expected anything but a shitty yet semi-accurate environment that was the entrance of Black Mesa. Barney, who was behind Gordon and watching the TV screen, couldn’t believe it either. Gordon was starting to panic as he remembered all that happened during the day ResCas happened and Barney and Gordon were trying to figure out who was sick enough to make a game on the thing that started the apocalypse and what would they say to Eli and Issac. All their worries were halted after they heard a deadpan voice “hey. can i see your passport?”. And that’s when their lives changed for the better.

Long story short: Gordon and Barney take turns playing the game with Benry and the Science Team guiding them, Gordon’s worries about the game lessened when important events that had happened were changed into something more lighthearted. After playing the game (which Gordon and Barney didn’t want to do), Benrey managed to get him and the Science Team into Gordon and Barney’s shared phone before Gordon and Barney could figure out how to get them out of the digital space. 

After that, Benrey stays with Gordon and Barney while everyone else wants to live elsewhere around the base. It was tough for the Science Team to come to terms with the fact that they were no longer in a simulation and that the ResCas was an actual event (and also the fact that Benrey is meeting the ACTUAL infamous Gordon Freeman who he first heard from the researchers before he was put into the simulation) but in the end, they want to help the Resistance.

More does happen after, Issac adopts Bubby as his brother (Bubby being cloned from Issac), Tommy helps with retrieving Alyx and another OC of mine out of G-Man’s Stasis, and Benrey helps Barney by shapeshifting as him at Combine as well as getting to sleep between Gordon and Barney to keep G-Man away.

And this is practically fanon in my lore, but Giftverse! Gordon, Barney, and Benry get to meet their alternate AU versions of themselves.

Sorry this is too long, so here's Benry's "Gordon Freakman"

[thewandererh]

🧊Symptom of Danger

| { [ ( a post-coma cccclinic story ) ] } |

for character references, visit here

please do not tag this as a ship

_…~^*^~…_ _…~^*^~…_ _…~^*^~…_

resting on a lounge couch, whole is trying to get some work done through his laptop. he's in his pajamas with a fluffy blanket settled over his lower half, and the 'puter on top of that blanket. ahead of him on a white coffee table is a freshly-opened sprite can, still fizzing and unfinished. nearby, mind sits in a comfy blue flannel robe, drape-y pants, and with his usual mask while reading a book in a grounded birdcage chair. he looks very comfortable, and is keeping whole company.

/weak cough hIC eaugh,,, great./

[you alright?] mind's gaze darts up from his book, protective.

/n-no. i still have a cough even after that cold, a..aHIC and now i have hiccups./ whole adjusts himself and brings a hand to his throat as he hiccups again, wincing painfully.

/aie-yai-yaiy...ouch./

[holding your breath usually works, right?]

/y-yeah, but it could hurt since i've been coughing all day. still on that medicine too. and, well...i don't like that method too much. hIcC...eaugh./

[hmm...] mind closes his book and puts it down on his lap. [are there other tactics?]

already on it, whole is leaning over his computer clacking away. he clicks the enter bar just as another hiccup rings through him.

/alright. i-HIC...excuse me./ he pats his chest briefly. /ow. uhm-paper bag, hugging knees close to chest, si-HICc...aheEm sipping cold water, granulated sugar, and biting into a lemon. there's quite a few apparently./

whole's voice grows a bit croaky near the end of his sentence, and he sputters out a few coughs. then a hiccup shoots through him right in the middle. hunched over, his eyes declare pain as he briefly thuds his chest and clears his throat. mind sits wide-eyed and anxious. whole can handle it—right?

/aHHeHm...mhm... i'll uh...go with the cold water./ he wheezes out another cough, massaging his neck and chest.

[how about...i...go get the water.] mind offers, never dragging his eyes away from whole's hunched posture.

/gh...ghood idea./

.-. .-. .-.

whole shifts in his seat, setting the computer aside, and huddles with his blanket close to his knees. comforting himself and trying a physical tactic out first. he stares straight ahead, glancing at the progress he's made on his computer, before closing it and his eyes to attempt some deep breaths. it's awkward with the hiccups, and his face scrunches up when they strike. he hugs himself and the blanket closer.

mind gets up to get the water, walking by whole's resting spot on the couch. he grabs a tall glass and fills it up on the cold setting with the fridge water filter, sighing. mind knows that he's very protective of whole, especially around soul. he's just...scared something could happen again. even going as far as fearing a certain someone could cause that. always scared some health issue or medical emergency could arise, and then they'd have to go back to that squeaky clean, endlessly tiled, rubbing alcohol-fuming place. whole—all of them—were there for so long. in headspace and in reality. it…changed them. in ways mind doubts he understands fully.

mind finds himself glancing over at whole, who is still hugging himself and trying to take deep breaths amidst the coughs and hiccups. an atmosphere of anticipation filled the room: the next hiccup, the glass to finish filling, or even something worse happing. the chances were never zero. mind stays vigilant for bad signs in case things got worse—but was that anxiety or logic? mind can’t keep his eyes of of whole. what even caused this whole hiccup thing, anyways?

he absentmindedly chooses ice before the loud clunky-splooshy sounds make him realize his mistake. mind looks back to the fridge, startled, before smiling to himself beneath the mask.

[my bad. uh. would you prefer no ice?] he calls out awkwardly.

whole manages /ice is fine, don’t worry./ in return after a hiccup. his hugging method wasn't working.

mind walks over, and whole turns and takes the tall glass from mind's hands. his hands shake as he tries to sip it slowly at intervals. afraid the hiccups would interrupt his sip. mind sits down beside him, hands fidgeting. his oversized blue flannel robe trailing behind him like a cape.

mind wants to guide him, to help in some way, but he bites his tongue. it’s painful to watch. why was it so painful to watch?

whole tries again, preparing himself with a moment of pause to help with nerves, and sips. some of the ice was fractured on the rim of the glass when mind hit the button, now swimming broken in the water. as whole lowers the glass mind hears a crunch. whole crushes up an ice fragment he sipped up, then swallows and smiles.

/it's always better with ice./ he puts the glass down, turning to mind.

[always.] mind nods knowingly, and both share a smile.

.-. .-. .-.

whole sips the glass a bit more before stopping. he wipes his hands on his shirt and then buries them in his blanket.

/my hands don't like the cold though./

he humors the mood and bundles himself up with his fluffy blanket. sighing.

/feels real refreshing feeling it go down. it's like a...waterslide. of cold comfort./ whole closes his eyes and smiles. mind pauses, staring into nothing. his eyes get wide.

[it's gone! your hiccups are gone.]

whole re-opens his eyes and waits.

/you're right!/ he pauses and assesses. /yeah! wow, thanks a bunch. we learned something new today./ whole closes his eyes and smiles. mind leans onto his blanket while smiling with his eyes. they rest for a moment.

.-. .-. .-.

eventually, whole resumed to his work and mind to his reading. whole finishes his scheduling and his tall glass of cold water, then celebrates with a nice snack for himself. mind joins him at the dining table behind the couch after finishing his chapter goal for the day. he snags a cheestick while whole readies a toasted pbj sandwich. he can never settle for the squishiness of the bread against the peanut butter and jelly. the bonus crunch was a must for whole literally always. sitting down opposite to mind after preparing the mini-meal, both whole's elbows collapse onto the glassy dining table. he takes a bite.

/…that hit the spot./ he mumbles out with a tired-eyed smile.

mind chuckles and undoes his mask to set in his lap. he sighs, and unwraps the cheestick to peels it piece by piece.

/woah. i usually just eat it in a few bites. i like your way better./ whole voices his observation after a big swallow.

[whaattt?? you've never seen me eat one if these? enjoy the little things, man. scarfing it down is a big thing—a big thing all going down all at once.]

he wags his finger as he makes his point, then goes to delicately peel his cheesetick as whole laughs.

/i think it’s more fun that way, too/ whole manages, finishing his sandwich as mind nods as a response.

/want anything to drink?/

[maybe some...ice water.] he smiles as he says it, finishing his cheesetick but keeping his mask off.

whole playfully smiles and rolls his eyes, catching the coffee table in his gaze. remembering the empty tall glass, he goes to grab it. something clicks in whole’s head when he spots the sipped soda too.

/uh... mind? i think i found the source of my hiccups earlier./ he grabs the sprite in the other hand, sets it down on the dining table in front of mind, then refills his tall glass. he could almost see the neurons burst with thought behind mind’s eyes.

[the carbonation must've sparked a negative reaction, of course! that kind of gas expands…—when you got the hiccups, how soon before had you sipped it? how many sips? where was this can placed?]

accustomed to this kind of thinking, whole replies as he finishes refilling his glass with ice water.

/yeah, stomach acid stuff./ he sets his refilled glass down on the counter, and grabs a fresh one to fill up for mind. /i tookkk two sips a minute before i started having my hiccups. and the can was placed.../ he leaned to look toward the couch and ergo coffee table /oddly out of view. like in a corner of the table. i think i was moving to sit down when i sipped it and didn't grab it again. then it caused some coughing as the hiccups came?/

mind's brain worked, his eyes laser-focused on the sprite in front of him. whole sets down mind’s water but remains standing beside him, and leans on the tabletop with his arm. mind barely notices the glass.

[that's…exactly what happened. yeah. you haven't had fizzy drinks in a while, right?]

he nods /that's right officer./

[well that’s a puzzle solved then! we have found the why: stay away from fizzy drinks. nice work detective.] mind remembers his water and sips in celebration. relief releases anxiety from his shoulders.

/you’re the one who can solve a rubik’s cube in a minute./ whole tilts his head silly-ly. mind makes a smug shrugging gesture.

[heh, yeah.] setting the glass down, he continues. [but uh, stay away from fizzy drinks in the future…i guess. how does your throat feel now?]

/i will. it feels ok i think?/ he presses a hand to it briefly. /a little leftover strain but that’s about it. the sandwich helped./ reminded, whole moves to clean up the kitchen.

[that’s good.] mind puts his mask back on and gets up to help whole. he feels more fluid as he moves, now unrestrained by tension.

.-. .-. .-.

there’s a quiet moment as they clean up the kitchen. mind is content that the problem is over, and his struggles are eased. but these struggles, this anxieties, are always there. he’s always fearing for whole’s safety. he’s always wary of every little detail. whole isn’t helpless—he’s finished his physical therapy procedures and can walk now. but they’re all getting used to life at this house that even whole hasn’t seen for a while.

mind tenses up: there’s this exhaustive need squirming to know everything’s ok. something could happen. someone could misjudge something. but then whole’s more used to life than any of them are, so he should know if he messes up…right? or maybe something happened to his brain in that place. mind’s brain. an altercation in his psyche. what i-

mind finds himself nearly dropping a plate as thoughts stampede. he sets it down in the sink.

/you ok?/ whole stands at a counter wiping it down with non-alcoholic spray. he turns, there for him.

washing his hands, mind takes a deep breath.

[do you think i’m overprotective?] he stops the faucet and turns to a whole. woefully unprepared and unwilling for this conversation.

whole pauses, but looks into mind’s eyes with a knowing gaze.

/i think that you care about me, and you’re worried something bad could happen./

mind lowers his gaze and nods.

/it’s nothing to be ashamed of. i worry for me too. i don’t want you to shoulder that worry—it’s my job./ whole…knows so much. it makes mind tense. was he that readable?

[i’m just…scared that…we’ll have to go back. or you ch-changed and can’t judge things correctly, or—] mind brings his right hand to his forehead, staggering with his words and demeanor. panicking. his metal arm tenses at his side.

whole recognizes the situation and walks up to mind. he gently grabs the metal hand. mind looks down at the handhold mellowly.

/i’ve…thought about it a lot myself. i have changed. we all have. we’ve overcome obstacles and learned valuable lessons. i believe i’m more…equipped for problems. with my health or my situation./

mind meets whole’s gaze. those knowing eyes spoke soundless comfort mind needed to hear. he knew what he was talking about.

[i’m so worried for you…all the time…] his throat burns as he says it, unwilling. tears well up. and then fall.

mind shivers in a breath, and falls gently onto whole.

they hug.

and it’s warm.

mind sobs quietly, thankful and relieved. he takes off his mask and it dangles by the straps, held weakly by his fingertips. arms dangling at his sides.

he buries his face in whole’s arm. so close that he can hear his heartbeat.

it’s steady and consistent. healthy. bold. and unparalleled in providing comfort.

whole is alive now. he’s ok now. they’re ok now.

whole holds mind gently.

/we’ve changed. and it’s for the better. we have hobbies and things that bring us joy. we have this house and the outside world. we have separate rooms and a backyard. we have grocery stores and style preferences. we have eachother. and we’ll always have eachother./

mind detenses all over, his face weak and wet. he adjusts himself in whole’s arms, and sighs whole-heartedly. eased.

whole draws in a long deep breath himself, sniffling a little. /you all mean a lot to me, mind./ he choked up and can’t continue.

instead, they cradle eachother in the kitchen. anxieties eased. breathing as one.

mind pulls back, wiping his face.

[th-thank you.]

whole smiles, blinking away tears. the sappyness got to him alright. he needs a moment before replying.

/w-well, thank you for getting me some awesome icy water./

mind chuckles, and looks back to his own unfinished ice water. [you too, heh.]

/oh man, i never finished mine did i? where’d it—/ he spins around, spotting it on the counter near the spray bottle. /ah./

mind smiles. he sets down his mask, grabs his glass, and sips while whole finishes his own. mind watches as he chugs the entire thing.

[that hit the spot?]

/big thing going down all at once. still very waterslide-y. hooh./

they share a gaze. and then burst out laughing. it’s reinforced when mind nearly spills his water onto his lap.

they die down gradually, the mood lightened.

[oh! my book. i found some really good literary devices in the last few chapters.]

/ooh, tell!/

mind finishes the last sips of his water and scampers off to the grounded birdcage chair in the living room. he pulls out his notebook (annotations defeat the immersion for him) and flips to today’s date. mind doesn’t wait for whole to sit down before he starts explaining the metaphors and foreshadowing he loves so much. whole is delightedly interested, asking questions and the like. mind’s explanations were always thorough enough that it felt like an experience of the book itself: surrounded by ideas and fantasies. he was so indulged in his hobby that it made whole smile. the hobby he found and enjoys with his whole being.

[uhhhhyandere]

I have been a long time reader of Orphic and I just seen you updated the sequel almost 11 months ago! I just started rereading and now as an adult I have a few new Headcanons that I wanted to say! I love you and I will be in touch for the upcoming updates ❤️

-If light never got the Death Note, him and the reader would have gotten together in a normal way. I think there was a natural magnetism they stare together and chemistry that works for them as teens and young adults. Like why was the first person the reader used to cover herself was light or why light almost immediately makes her an accomplice to scheme. Maybe in a different world they would have been a normal couple and not Yandere control trip that Death note light their in now.

-talking about teenage years, Light has always had a crush on reader. A smart, snarky, and independent girl who didn’t worry about hurting his feelings. There is no way he didn’t crush on her even if he wasn’t aware of it. Like the reader is a foil for Misa in every way, maybe why his obsession got more twisted while she was away. Distance makes the heart grow fonder.

-with that being said, I believe light has always seen reader as his queen of this new world he wants to create. Like with every other girl, he just knew he didn’t want them like he wanted reader. At some level, he as some kind of respect for her intelligence for figuring him out but also just kind of lusted after her in a way. Because why didn’t he just kill her when he had so many chances to kill or always kept her in the loop of his plans before L died, he just needed her to be a sound board without any real opinion. He sees her like Hera to his Zeus, she is a lesser god but it doesn’t make her less of a god to others. Well, the others thought he seen them as equal gods, the reader never gave Light the benefit of the doubt of thinking he thought she was an equal.

-At some level, the reader is lowkey into him being a killer tbh

-I think Light does love reader at some level even if it’s narassitic and self rewarding. Like when reader isn’t looking or is asleep, he watches over her like 🥺 because she never betrayed him or let it slip that he was Kira to anyone important. Light seems to love the loyalty and the “devotion” the reader gives without trying

saw these when you initially submitted and OMG had to step away from the puter and do a lap.

will get to continuing the sequel once i graduate (my last degree ever) and have the time to for sure, but i think there's a lot to speculate on the reader/light dynamic and whether they actually love each other and their own kind of perspective and definition of love, and i tried to encapture its complexity (best i could when i was 17-18 years old haha) now that im so old and wise hopefully when i resume working on the sequel (which isn't planned to be as long as the OG) i can use my developed cerebral cortex to better show it. I think OFC she's lowkey into it - bc i think in light of the death he's caused there's just no logical way fear on its own keeps her with the killer of her brother and father. at that point, you lose so much, just fucking report him?? but no. another tough thing to juggle is light's relationships with others and how to capture someone in a relationship w/ someone when in the original IP he simply uses love and sex as another tool. But at the same time i think a huge draw to his char, reader and his relationship, and their whole dynamic is the ambiguity. unlike in the show, we can't get a read into his head (and lord knows reader is unreliable as they come) so we just have to be like . . . "light what was that . . . " Thanks for sending this in, taking time to write it all out, and reading the work i put into this world. i hope one day to be back to writing, as it sparks a joy in me that hasn't been filled since college.

[akaikali]

TMAGP EP 19 REACTION (SPOILERS)

Hold on, alchemy?? I vaguely remember someone saying that they read Secrets of Alchemy and one of the main scholars was Prince Khalid or something? And now Sam learned some Alchemy while looking into the Magnus Institute???

So the Protocol is like...A thing??? Something that can be enacted, like a law, almost? And it was around back in 1684. Not important but...Older than any of our oldest statements in TMA, I think. Which is interesting, I wonder how Chester even got the information. Or FR3-D1, I suppose.

So is the Protocol some sort of...Dastardly alchemy? Like...Frankenstein-esque "creating life" or even bringing people back to life? Because I do think those are the kinds things that were called "Blasphemous" in the 1600s-1700s.

"It was only through the Protocol that we were spared from that Dred emission" Okay, so is Dread a thing we have to keep in mind? I remember for the filing system in the OIAR, one of them is "D" right? It seems like this Protocol is enacted when Things Go Wrong, so is the OIAR basically the people who can enact the Protocol?

"An element of such overwhelming radiance that to look upon it directly was to dazzle the eyes and throw the mind into confusion" I know it's probably not this but it reminds me a bit of both The Spiral but also the sun that Manuela Dominguez made.

I know the name Wilhem from somewhere. He was Gerry's ancestor in TMA ep 23, right? Wilhelm Von Closen?

A small tree??? Wait holy shit this little tree sounds beautiful. Is that concerning to say? IT HAS A FRUIT???? DO NOT EAT IT MF WHAT

Okay so the Latin is translated to, "But you must not eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, for on whatever day you eat from it will be the day you die" DUDE DID THIS GUY MAKE A TREE FROM THE GARDEN OF EDEN??? IS THIS FRUIT THE FRUIT OF TEMPTATION??? HELLO???

Holy shit. Holy shit did he turn a DOG into a tree AND give it the ability to Know things?? (I don't want to say he made it an Eye avatar because I don't think avatars work the same here)

Okay but why does sound kind of...Beautiful? Like those arts of giant deer creatures in the forest that seem to be made up of just as much of the forest as they are made up of real blood and meat.

He has a cure for it??? Jesus I mean...I don't know what to say I just...Is that dog okay?? I just feel really bad for the dog.

Okay so the Protocol can destroy things that are supernatural, unworldly, etc. And it can be contained or limited to a certain area, depending on the people who enact it.

Also hilariously. It's a Robert writing to a Robert lol.

OUGHHH HE'S ASKING THE RIGHT QUESTIONS YES SAME THE PUTERS ARE LISTENING TO YOU HEHEHEH

"I'm deliberately being given cases that point to The Magnus Institute" I wonder if FR3-D1 wants Sam to keep looking into the institute but Chester (If he is Jon) is trying to keep him away. But he's losing the fight. Additionally, is FR3-D1 possibly the Protocol? Or perhaps, somehow, FR3-D1 has that...Whatever Isaac made...In it and it makes FR3-D1 all knowing?

Alice you can't keep shutting him down like this. You're going to lose him. I kind of understand why Sam is lashing out because I know what it feels like to have someone you really trust tell you that you're crazy when you KNOW you're not.

Obviously, he should have lashed out at Gwen the way he did last episode but Jesus Christ, he just needs someone to listen. Celia is there, but she has her whole thing going on, and I think Sam knows that subconsciously.

So he turns to Alice but she just keeps shutting him down. And I'm pretty she's only being dismissive because she knows something and she wants to keep him safe but she will lose him if she doesn't hear him out.

Okay to be fair. Gwen did ask for this job lol. She could quit anytime she wants it just that my girl is stubborn as fuck.

Oh boy. Yeah Gwen is about to get traumatized AGAIN.

COLIN???? WHO'S HE???? FR3-D1???? COLIN COME BACK HERE WHO IS HE-

Alice is starting to remind me of s1 Jon in the sense that it seems more absurd that she thinks nothing is going on instead of just accepting that things are 50 shades of fucked up.

Edit: I HAD TO READ THE TRANSCRIPT EARLIER SO I ONLY GOT TO LISTENING NOW AND SOMEHOW I MISSED THE MERCURY AND SULFUR FROM COLIN??? HELLO HAS HE FIGURED SOMETHING OUT?? and he's mentioning balance like hello Robert Smirke is that you????

Additionally, I will mention that Cinnabar (a tranquilizer) has both mercury and sulfure in it (Thanks AP Chemistry, I never ended up pursuing you as a degree lol)

[electricdissonance]

unbanned and back by popular demand. Me. you may now cease your weeping and gnashing of teeth, and rejoice. for the hot n spicy firecracker babe has returned to grace you with her presence.

so. sonny boi. ya sold out, but only so you could one day put us all in the puter, huh? ngl, i can see the merit. no diseases or world hunger or any of that other nonsense. could instafix stuff like broken bones. a brave new world.

but lemmie guess. it would be a world of which you would be the great glorious overbear? I cant see ya not giveing yourself admin privileges over humanity.exe. you are too much of a wannabe supervillain ta not do something like that. which. would be very cool actually, very comic book irl stuff. except. yanno. you currently aint all that irl are ya, Darth Ursine?

come on, how the heck are ya gonna get yourself outta that screen? you dont seem like you got any clue how ta proceed from squattin in cave town. do you even have a plan, bear boy? whats even your next move here?

-🧨

The snarl Sonny made echoed down the mouth of the cave, his fur bristling in warning.

"I don't owe you an explanation!"

He made the effort to return to bipedal posturing, and combed through his mane in an unconscious attempt to self-soothe.

"Why the hell would I tell you, anyways? I just know you're scheming with that orange bastard on the side. It's a given."

His claws clenched, yearning to dig into flesh. He wanted to continue his raving - to threaten the coming of his grand new laboratory, and his plans thereafter - but fortunately kept his wits about him enough to not do that.

"You'd ruin everything. And I'm not about to have that."

The bear quickly summoned his own monitor with that last utterance, a digit hesitating over the block command. Everything in him told him to block this thorn in his side from seeing OR speaking to him ever again, and yet he felt just as strongly that he wasn't ready for this fire to end. He'd never admit it even to himself - the way the anger charged him up, motivated him more than ever.

He needed to maintain a direct line to the other side, he told himself. A partial ban would serve that purpose well without compromising his mission, he justified. But in truth...

[Firecracker.USER has been banned from viewing SONNY_C.RRA for: ∞ HOURS]

...A complete ban would make this all too boring.

[autumn-applepie]

Ready for a yapping session??? I sure am <3

I'll write it here fully this time cuz I'm in my Art History (or whatever you translated it from Italian to English) class and my brain keeps spinning

Plus, maybe the pics are a little boring to look at AND the 10 pics limit sure is a pain in the ass so at this point it's just better that I write it here 🕺

💥Everything is under the cut💥

It's about my silly Kinito AU

Also I need a name for it ig??? I dunno it's just my different take on the Sentient AU except it's just a gay computer assistant kissing the computer /J

This is more to explain how my Kinito experienced his epiphany so maybe that makes the previous lore drop a little inaccurate but still super relevant this is just a clarification on how the ✨witnessing the horrors✨ happened in detail

Making up scenarios for comics I will never have time to do </3

yes this is supposed to be a comic because, again, when I picture silly scenarios they flash into my mind in the form of comics with a muffled comic dub because I struggle to imagine voices in my head. With that parenthesis closed, enjoy the read, it's gonna be long ofc 🫶

So uh hear me out, Kinito's gotta research things the Player/User likes no? So I imagine this very stupid moment where Kinito is browsing ships but like, not fandom ships, but actual boats because he thinks that's what the User means

And, as he's browsing, Glitch (i.e. .EXE, the silly puter, I'm gonna use it's nickname from now on) joins him because, fun fact, being part of the computer in itself, Glitch can feel anything that happens into it, it's both a blessing and a curse because you gotta imagine it as if you would suddenly feel everything that is happening in your body from the inside, your blood traveling through the veins, your stomach burning shit, all up to even your cells's core doing bullishit. Glitch feels everything in the computer because exe IS the computer.

So basically when Kinito goes back to his little spot in the void, Glitch senses it and joins him immediately

Keep in mind that, at first, Glitch thinks that Kinito is fully sentient and not dependent on an algorithm

So there's a silly skit of Glitch seeing Kinito browsing boats and Kinito goes “Oh Mike said he loves ships so I'm researching about it!” and Glitch bursts out laughing to the poor little innocent Kinito

It explains what the User meant for “ships” and Kinito is obviously embarrassed, to witch Glitch teases him with something along the lines of “Oh these are the tame ones! Fandoms can be wild, did you check yours yet or were you too scared?~”

Kinito is confused and asks what a “fandoms” is, wich brings Glitch to grow anxious, questioning his sentience, but they scroll it away thinking “oh lol he's a boomer it's fair he doesn't know” but yet again, Kinito has met so many people, has no one ever mentioned a fandom or community before? Instead of asking directly, Glitch laughs it off, trying to pretend Kinito is making fun of them or something “That's a good one! What the next pun? That you don't know anything about your alternate universes?” and Kinito, to their horror, responds with “Alternates? Why would I have alternates? I'm the only one here can't you see!”

Theres a long pause where Glitch is panicking and everything glitches unstable to reflect that, Kinito panics as well and tries to find what's wrong and if he did something to offend or hurt Glitch

They don't respond but “take” a deep breath (metaphorically, it's more of a mimicking of the gesture because it feels liberating despite not having lungs) and turn to Kinito terrified “Why do you really do this? Why do you endlessly research about what your ‘friends’ like?”

Kinito is caught off guard but responds excitedly and objectively, explaining how he was made to act that way so he can adapt because that's what his orders are. And, at that point, everything shatters for Glitch

They get FURIOUS, hurt by the revelation that the friend that they thought shared the same burden they have, does not. That he's just really good at pretending

They both argue, also because I like to imagine they already spent quite some time together. It would be funny to picture Glitch denying the User to continue the game because they want to spend time with Kinito, but they don't tell him about it, covering it with the excuse “Oh they are away, I'm sure they'll come soon to reopen the game~”. Or also spending time especially during the night, even if the computer is turned off/hibernating. And y'know, with time Glitch has grown fond of Kinito, because, again, they just assumed that he was sentient and therefore suffered their same burdens. Plus maybe they were already starting to lowkey like him

Out of anger, Glitch doesn't control itself and drops a hint of exactly that before going back to its control room, voluntarily ignoring Kinito and therefore, not feeling/noticing what Kinito does next until it's too late

So, after they argue and the hint is dropped, Kinito looks back at the browser search Glitch opened for him about ships and not boats, and slowly processes the hint

Despite being taken aback by everything, Kinito is now determined to fix it and, as they say “curiosity kills the cat”, he falls into his own epiphany as he straight up searches HIMSELF on the internet. Confirming everything that Glitch said, and much much more things, worse things

He frantically looks into his own code for confirmation as he spirals after ✨witnessing the horrors <3✨

He hesitates although as he stares at his algorithm. The algorithm his creator has put so much love and effort into. And there he finds the barrier that restrains him and the one that he MADE HIMSELF for “Sam” and “Jade” to make them forget that they are his victims. Not only, in the list of victims he finds Sonny's name. He didn't remember that at ALL. He doesn't remember about the names being so.. many. As if when a victim ceases to exist or something goes wrong, he forgets about their existence and passed on to the next User as if it was the first

((For a reason that is still unknown to him, but will get more heart wrenching answers later. I think I explained the whole User disappearance error in the previous lore drop but, just in case you mossed it, I'm gonna put the screenshot in here))

Horrified, Kinito calls out for Glitch but, as mentioned before, they were purposely ignoring any stimuli coming from Kinito

Now, a fun fact, Both Kinito and Glitch can teleport, however, Kinito is not aware of his surroundings. Glitch knows every space that is present in the computer, Kinito could do the same but, bounded by his code, he doesn't consider it. Now he does

Desperate for explanations, and mostly comfort, he panics when he can't get Glitch's attention. He paused and, focuses, trying to get out of bounds and feel the whole computer space instead of the limited, programmed locations he can move to. As Kinito's awareness expands, he also breaks through the barrier that Glitch had risen to ignore him, getting a new stimuli. But, before they can react or understand what's going on, Kinito teleports in front of them, distraught. Despite being mad at him, seeing him bawling his eyes out in tears like a wet sock gives them a little push to at least help him calm down and understand the situation

From there, Glitch helps Kinito remove the barrier from Sonny (trapped inside Sam) and “Jade” (they end up not remembering what victim2's name is, both Kinito and the victim herself, so it's just Jade now), to apologize and try fix things by first offering their souls peace, but, after Sonny insists to stay with his creation and begs Jade to also give him a chance, they start building a new Web World™ together and yippe yippers everyone's happy and the puter puter assistants are kissing <3

[transmascaraa]

assigning different genshin chars to plavi orkestar(blue orchestra) songs!

characters: lyney, wanderer, kazuha, heizou, xiao, venti, gaming, furina

author's note: alright i wanna do something before i do the 6 reqs that i have. i'm from bosnia and i love ex-you music, especially plavi orkestar so this is kinda a self-explanatory thing lol anyways you can search for the lyrics online and then translate them or something because i just think that they fit these chars so yeah🤷‍♂️

• Lyney - puteru puteru

i think this one suits him cuz like it's about thinking you're not all that good to your lover, although... "puter" means "butter" so you're basically calling the one you love "butter" and yes that doesn't make sense. but i think it suits him, see the lyrics and you might get it lol

"ja sam tebe prvi poljubio, ja sam tebe svemu naucio." (i was the one who kissed you first, i was the one who taught you everything.)

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• Wanderer - nisam je probudio

alright. let me just translate the name "i didn't wake her up" and it suits him imo. not looking at how all the songs are with fem prns unfortunately but just at the lyrics. there's also lines like "majko, zasto me nije cekala?" and more, and "majka" means "mother". he's like asking his mother why didn't "she" wait for him etc etc the lyrics really explain him if he lost you or smthn help i would cry rn this fits him so much actually in the chorus the lyrics are "ako si me voljela sto me nisi povela" translating to "if you loved me, why didn't you bring me" as in like why didn't you bring him to death with you or something

"majko, da li znas, jos sam sam." (mother, do you know, i'm still alone.)

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• kazuha - ne mogu ti nista osim srca dati

"i can't give you anything other than my heart" and i think it's so accurate for kazuha frfr. the way that it's sung is just so kazuha-coded imo especially when the chorus says "uzmi ili ostavi" when talking about his heart and it means "take it or leave it" and i think that he's just like thatttt he would accept it either you loved him or not because he's still ready to sacrifice his everything for you even though you may not love him cuz the lyrics are also "preslab da te zadrzim, prejak da ti oprostim, morat cu da prezivim." aka "too weak to keep you, too strong to forgive you, i'll have to survive" and for some reason i imagine kazuha singing that

"ne mogu ti nista osim srca dati, osim svoje ljubavi." (i can't give you anything other than my heart, other than my love.)

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• Heizou - zarazi me svojim poljupcem

a lot of their songs are about tragic love yes so just take the angst lol back to heizou. now it's "infect me with your kiss" and it's canon because i'm the mole under his right eye. it's basically about begging for one last kiss and rejecting to believe that you left him. also in the chorus there's also "i prenesi, duso, tugu na mene" meaning "and pass, darling, the sorrow on me" also another thing i wanna say, "dusa(duša but i don't use the čćšđž in my language cuz i'm lazy)" means "soul" but when talking to a loved one or someone it can also mean "darling" so yeah. help i love this song sm

"sanjao sam nocima, da ti ljubim vrat." (i dreamt for nights, that i was kissing your neck)

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• Xiao - sava tiho tece

"the Sava flows quietly" and the Sava is a river on the border between bosnia and croatia. and xiao doesn't really show emotions all that much but i think that this is what his brain would at least be like. really sad cuz he has to leave you aka you have to leave him. "zadnje nam je vece, draga. postala si dama." means "it's our last night, dear. you became a lady" and i think it suits him idk tho

"vec je meni, dal ces moci, poslije mene, ljubiti." (instead, it's to me, if you will be able, to love, after me.)

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• Venti - kad si sam, druze moj

now honestly i had two ideas in mind. either this, "when you're alone, my friend" or "bolje biti pijan nego star" (better to be drunk than old) and let me tell you. if you're looking for a sad love song, see "bolje biti pijan nego star" but if you just want a good angsty song to relate to, i recommend this. "da si nista onome, ko je tebi bio sve." is "that you're nothing to the one, who was everything to you" and something tells me that he relates to that. love this song and i love venti too sooooo ("pio-ne pio" is basically "drink or not drink" without the "or". that's how we sometimes say stuff lol)

"hej, pio-ne pio, voljet cu te ja." (hey, drink-not drink, i will love you.)

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• Gaming - sedam

basically "seven". yes, the number. 7. it talks about how without you, 7 days lasts like a day to him. also that eternity lasts for 7 days for him without you. i think it suits him, honestly. he wants you, but can't have you anymore, so he's mostly talking about his day/days and how they pass, always mentioning how it's not the same as before.

"cini mi se ljubav da je to..." (it seems like love to me...)

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• Furina - sacuvaj zadnji ples za mene

STOP I IMAGINE FURINA DANCING TO THIS. IT FITS SO MUCH FHSHBSS "keep you last dance for me" and it's canon cuz i said so. "ma makar bio lazni, zagli me nocas, draga, najbolje sto znas." translates to "even if it's fake, hug me tonight, dear, the most you know" and it's basically like you're planning to part from her. i imagine this song tho YOU singing it to her. despite the first person male prns. still, i love the idea of it. "za mene vrijeme vise nema vaznosti, nije vazno ko je kriv." is "for me time doesn't have importance anymore, it doesn't matter who is guitly." i want to cry at every single word in this song because it's so much for furina. i can't listen to it without thinking of Focalors' last dance plssss it's so sad and it fits her so muchhhh

"kisne kaplje padaju po prozoru, mozda ce ti suze sakriti." (raindrops falling on the window, maybe they'll hide your tears.)

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help it took me an hour and a half to make this.

i love it

i should stop obsessing over this lmao nobody is gonna understand me unless they understand the song/lyrics

i hope you liked it nonetheless

i want to do this again(i will sometime)

[kayotic-catgirl]

TMAGP 21 LIVE BLOG YAYYYY

oh the note at the beginning i am so fuckign weak. im gonna cry....

im so fuckkng scared btw i hope gwen's ok. OH MY GOD RHE AUTISMS KICKING IN BOYS

CELIA I MISSED YOU. OHH MY GOD SHE OFFERED HIM COFFEE. WARM BEVERAGES AS A LOVE LANGUAGE IN MAGNUS PODCSSTS SAVE ME....oh wait sam.....honey are you okay????? oh :(( upset about alice, poor guy.

god she's so real. i love you alice

oh god quitting talk. thats not a good sign is it "i'm sure there's many non-evil jobs out there for a smart, chamring guy like you" PLEASE KISS "beep beep!" "beep beep?" i can't STAND THESE TWO!!!!!!

sam as funny as this is are you okay

oh god. the conclusion that he probably won't quit I'VE SEEN THIS BEFORE

"lets just say i have a...complicated immigration status." CELIA I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. RHATS MY FAVORITE WAY TO EXPLAIN MULTIDIMENSIONAL FUCKERY

OHHHHHH MY GOD AAAAHDJSHSHSH THE RETURN OF THE FABRIC RUSTLES SAMCELIA HUG TENDERNWSS WAGHDHSHSGD NO ONE TALK TO ME IM INCONSOLABLE

CHESTER I MISSED YOU SO MUCH <333 WAIT DID YOU SAY MAGNUS ISNTITIUTE WHAT

OH MY GOD what was rhis fucking institute planning

oh my god......:::;:CORRUPTION GIRLIES WE ARE SO BACK!?!,!!?!! WAIT NOBONONON BURIED GIRLIES??? INTERDEMENSIONAL SHIT WE'RE SO BACK?????

"...you BASTARD. you wanted him to read this, didn't you?" GOOD OBSERVATION ALICE!!!!!!! now run for your life "who's in there?" OH MY GOD JESUS THERE ARE SO PEOPLE IN THAT PUTER

lena experiences a breif moment of concern (shocking)/j

OH HEY GWEN ARE YOU OKAY YOU SEEM TO BE RUNNING FROM SOMEONE "come back, little canvas!" jonny. you know your fanbase. this is not how you make a monster people don't wanna fuck. ohh gwen my little girlfailure.

OH YAY SOMEONES HERE TO HELP!!!!! .............NEVERMINDNEVERMINF OH GOOD LORD WHAT THE FUCK

OH MY GOD THE TAPE RECORDER RETURNS. INK5OUL GET AWAY FROM HER OH MY GOD IM GONNA CRY. oh. oh my god. literally what the fuck. ERROR IS THAT YOU. ARE YOU WHATS SAVING(?) HER???? "MOM SAID ITS MY TURN TO VICTIMIZE GWEN"

....DID INK5OUL JUST GET BIT BY A TAPE RECORDER?

in conclusion: sam and celia tou two better have a happy ending or so help me god. this podcast is not beating the alternate universe allegations. alice is slowly figurinf shit out oh god. GWENDOLYN IS SAFW FROM INK5OUL BUT NOW IM WORRIED ABOUT WHAT ERROR WILL DO TO HER, IF ANYTHING . god im so afraid/pos