#queueing this for later serotonin

[ai-higurashi]

[fantastic-mr-corvid]

this whole scheduling art posts thing is great. my memory is bad enough its a treat for me when i see my art finally posted

[goblinbugthing]

Bugthing’s brand-new Pinned Intro Post!!!!!!

Hi! I’m Bug, I’m a mentally ill emo artist and fic author. This is where I put my nonsense for you internet ppl to look at.

I’m transmasc, currently identifying as altersex & xenogender, and I use he/xey/it/they pronouns. Mutuals, and only mutuals, can use my other neos, blood/bleed and gore/gory. I’m lunian/mspec lesbian, fictoromantic, and fictosexual. Please respect that!!

Currently, I’m into Hollow Knight, the Kirby series, A Hat in Time, Bug Fables, Cult of the Lamb, Rain World, and Fate/Zero. Do be warned, though, I can fall out of these fandoms at any time — my interests are almost always fluctuating.

This blog is safe for minorities! (e.g. disabled ppl, LGBTQ+ ppl, BIPOC, Palestinians, etc.)

16+ only blog btw, no kiddos

Other stuff under the cut!

(divider gif via @/animatedglittergraphics-n-more)

My asks are open! Feel free to ask me stuff about my hyperfixations, or whatever you wanna know about me, as long as it’s not too personal.

Commissions are closed. You can still support me by donating/tipping! Ko-Fi linked below!

My other socials:

My YouTube channel (I don’t upload much)

My Wattpad I can’t link for some reason. My @ is goblinbugthing on there (I hardly ever touch this one)

My AO3 (All my fics live here now)

My $$app (Consider supporting me and my reckless spending addiction)

My Ko-Fi (Support me with tips!)

My other blogs:

@princes-creations-askblog — An askblog specifically for my OCs.

@ask-emporianroyals-au — My AHiT AU askblog.

@kirby-souljourney-au — My Kirby AU blog.

@hollowknightinsanity — My HK sideblog.

@xx-scene4ngel-xx — My RP blog, where I act as my fursona.

Current works:

Kirby: Soul Journey — My Kirby AU fanfiction, taking place after Kirby and the Forgotten Land. (Read on Tumblr / Read on Wattpad / Read on AO3) (To be rewritten)

Kirby: Soul Journey oneshots collection — A set of oneshots created for K:SJ. (Read on Tumblr / Read on Wattpad / Read on AO3) (To be rewritten)

Hollow Knight: Empty Promises — A set of fics created for my base Hollow Knight AU, Empty Promises. (Read on AO3 / Wattpad link to be added)

My tag key:

#buggie’s rambles — Text posts

#buggie’s randoms — Nonsense stuff! In other words, my homemade memes

#buggie’s doodles — Doodles and sketches

#buggie’s characters — OC stuff

#buggie’s creations — Proper artwork

#buggie’s creations (in the making) — Work-in-progress artworks

#buggie’s building paradise — All my Minecraft build stuff :3 (here’s a list of all the mods i use if you want em)

#buggie’s stories — My original writing

#buggie’s answers — My answered asks

#buggie’s polls — Self-explanatory. My polls

#buggie’s queue — The Very Rare Queued Posts

#buggie’s stims — Stuff I stim to

#buggie’s sluttery — Anything super suggestive or borderline NSFW

#buggie irl — IRL pics of me, mostly just my gender euphoria

#saved 4 serotonin production — My comfort tag

#quicksave — Stuff I want to look at later

#important — Self-explanatory. Important stuff

#semi-important — I’m honestly not sure, just scroll through the tag if you want an idea, because I can’t describe it myself

#besties doodles — Art from my mutuals

#besties rambles — Ramblings from my mutuals

#other’s art (it’s awesome) — Other people’s awesome art

#bbg tag — Posts both by me and by other people about my F/Os

#images that describe my gender — My gender envy tag. Don’t question the stuff that’s in there.

I tag triggers with #cw (trigger).

I tag OCs with #oc: (oc).

If I make any new tags (or remember any ones I forgot), this section will be updated!

Also, please keep in mind that tumblr is a bit fucky and sometimes doesn’t show posts under tags for some reason! Some posts might have my old tags on them.

And I believe that’s it! Enjoy your time here :)

[cuppajj]

Give us the G-9 angst, please!

I’m very glad you guys like it when he goes through immense trauma ☺️💅

IT SHALL BE DONE

[flowercrownd]

   me ?  doing silly little edits instead of replies or icons ??  yeah.. yeah it me...

[winterbranded]

[ ✮ ]

[maraczeks]

+

[princelee-chang]

@hi-raethia

“Wait for it .. our cats face when she watches our new rescue kitten”

(Source)

[eptck]

☭ zionists fuck off ☭

block button is our best friend ( zionists , conservatives , & other fash will b blocked on sight )

play our (WIP) Choose Your Own Adventure story here

and commission us here

we cannot read our asks . please dm us instead . thanks 👍

birdhouse system ( DID ) :

> spencer 🟩 | he/it | trans guy ( human )

> k ⬜️ | she/they | human

> len 🟦 | he/him | trans guy ( human ) | blog ( this is specifically a vent blog . if you're gonna be a dick go somewhere else )

> corvid 🐦‍⬛ | they/he/ve | bird guy/angsty teen

> ku 🐺🪽 | it/its | angel dogthing ( holds angel & beast )

> angel 🪽 | it/its | angel

> beast 🐺 | it/its | dogthing

> don 🐈‍⬛ | it/he | kitty cat !!! miau !!!!!!

> mary 🐑 | he/him | mareep little | blog

> kiri 💜 | she/her | trans digitalgirl kittygirl | blog

> miku ( yes THAT miku ) 🩵 | she/her | girlfag digitalgirl kittygirl

> zyga ( nickname ) 👽 | it/its | alien ( looks like a zygarde fragment )

( any tag with @ and an above emoji is from one alter to another )

some tags we use on this blog ( i'm not editing every single thing here 2 b accurate 2 plurality . jst deal w it ) :

- #vetted - any vetted campaigns relating to liberation struggles in palestine , DRC , sudan , etc. go here !!! check this tag if you want to donate !!!!!!!

- #i reblog every bear i see - bears here

- #long reads - this tag is for posts that are long and may take more mental energy to read

- #long reads ( no paragraph breaks ) - not necessarily a long post , but due to formatting , one that may take some time to get through

- #q - queue

- #saving this for later - for saving posts to look back in later when it’s pertinent

- #self-reblog tag - sometimes i reblog from my other blogs . mostly my art blog . reblog my art, cowards

- #i don’t go here - for when i reblog shit from fandoms i’m not a part of . the individual post is funny but don’t expect more content from that fandom

- #fagdyke hours - anything gender fucky , but mostly those posts talking about “i’m a boy who is a girl” and shit like that . also p much anything that uses the word fag

- #gender envy or something - posts that talk about being a cringe failson pathetic meow meow boy or whatever . posts that talk about being a guy but in the most pathetic way possible . i really wonder what sort of image this paints about me . i hope it makes you want to study me for science

- #this bird speaks - my original text posts go here . i dont do those often tho lol

- #disabledposting - me talking about being physically disabled . i don’t currently have a tag for mental disability

- #hope for the future posts - this tag is for posts that make me feel ok about humanity and the state of things . browse through here if you need some hope

- #important - any information that i believe is important to share / for people to know . this tag overlaps with long reads a lot

- #little magics - posts that make me feel good about the world ! shit doesn’t always suck . i suspect this tag will be a lot of nature and animal posts . look through here if you want for your heart to feel full !

- #corvidsstuff - stuff about corvids . funky little men

- #the human condition ( positive ) - stuff that to me seems fundamentally human . stuff that aliens would view as a hallmark of the species . only the positive stuff tho bc sometimes i like being happy

- #the human condition - same as above but not necessarily positive . not necessarily negative either tho !

- #kill maim bite - grrrrrrr baf baf * bitse you * ( fleshcore / meatcore )

- #blasphemous jokes - jokes about christianity / christian views that defy god

- #serotonin video - good vibes only . will probably mostly be cats tbh

- #My Mechanical Girlfriend - computer4computer . computer sex

- #BEASTLY - sometimes being trans is about killing yourself to the eyes of god and the people who said they loved you and being a monster and being a fallen angel and being evil and being so so so so holy

- #batty !!! - goth shit !!! prob mostly gonna b outfits & moody vibes

- i do my best to tag potential triggers but i forget sometimes / don’t realize someone would b triggered by it, so please lmk if i missed something !

this is an ongoing list which will be updated in future , and most of these tags are relatively new , so many of my older posts will not be tagged according to this list . also i forget to tag things sometimes , so not everything i post will be tagged appropriately

also if anyone knows how to do the thing people do where they underline text n it links to the tag or whatever pls lmk i’m confuse

[rmd-writes]

It’s such a serotonin boost when you come online and reblog all the (yester)day’s shenanigans in my evening. The hilarious observations, the strings of hot, hot Tarlos pictures, the David and Patrick loving gazes, strange news of the world…it comes back in a rush with your own thought provoking, snarky or happy comments that make me smile every time. Today is no exception. Thanks friend.

Have a great day! 💙

Oh, this is so lovely! 🥰🥰

Thank you, I always wonder if it’s annoying when I do my morning rounds (later than usual today because life) and reblog anywhere from 3-300 posts because I don’t use the queue, so I’m just here when I’m here.

I’m so glad to have put a smile on your face, it’s truly been a bit of a morning here, so this was well-timed, thank you 💖💖

[ahecktonoffandomsinoneblog]

Intro/Info Post

Name thing

Lyn

pronouns

she/her

fandoms

SO MANY but lots of mdzs/Tgcf lately and then pretty much anything I’ve ever read in my life

Other tags

asks: asks

for later tags: future, for the future

important things tag: important

things i like and might look at again later: serotonin and i love this

queue: just another queuesday

DNI

if you're not planning on being respectful (this includes, terfs, pedophiles, agressive antis (idc if you don't like a ship just don't be mean to other people about it), homophobes, racists, transphobes, etc.)

that being said if you have a genuine question feel free to ask!

MASTERPOST

okay mutuals feel free to ignore me tagging you, i'm writing down the tags for interactions and stuff

@neil-perry-is-alive - soul tag

@thatrandomfangirlll - kitty tag

@chaos-in-a-glass-cage - chaos tag

@iambecomeyourvillain - exhausted biscuit tag

@mournersandfunerals - funerals tag

@alonlyfangirl - waffle buddy

@blackpheonix - pheonix tag

@sankt-nazyalensky - saint tag

@saltyfortunes - salty tag

@mithriel-of-mithlond - orange tag

@ketterdamkid - ketterdam tag

@julian-blackthorn-supremacy - beloved tag

@im-someone-i-guess - someone tag

@aminolee - lee tag

@ghafascortana - cortana tag

@confused-as-all-hell - aria tag

@saltyfortunes - salty tag

@twelve-kinds-of-trouble - Lyra tag

@starrycatlover - starry tag

@nightshade3465 - big sibling tag

@cressjacquine - Oracle tag

@that-intp-gryffindor - light is an amazing person tag

and i'll add more as they come along :))) (and if you want a different one or smth lmk)

[princelee-chang]

@eparavur

you are the dancing queen, young and full o' teeth, slice your finger clean

[mythiccheroacademia]

can you do a hawks one where his s/o wears a lot of wigs but they never wear their natural hair because they’re insecure it? (btw i love your writing so much!!)

A/N: there was one time one of my cousin’s cute ass friends caught me lacking w the harriet tubman braids and mannn i was sick as hell also, this your daily reminder that there’s nothing wrong w wearing wigs, braids, whatever...but know your hair underneath is just as beautiful <3

Extra special note from a hot girl: hi i miss y'all sm :') i'm currently going through it rn but im doing rqs to keep my serotonin up. i'll queue them so this blog isnt completely dead but i'll see y'all soon. hopefully. be easy and stay pretty bitch ✨

Warnings: none

Hawks:

one of the things hawks loved about you was how much you switched up your hair style

you had so many wigs and you always had them laid like nobody’s business

he also always checks to make sure you aint fuck up the lace

whether it was short, long, straight, kinky, curly, you did it all 

and hawks doesnt really think twice about the fact that he’s never seen your actual hair

1. bc that’s none of his business and 2. he figured that was your thing so why bother? 

besides, he thinks it’s fun how your hair can change up your entire style in one go

it’s like you have one for each personality 💀  

hawks doesn’t catch wind that you’re actually insecure about your natural hair until one day he decides to make a surprise visit to your apartment 

busting in the place like he pays rent  

he sits on your bed w a cheerful smile as you unsuspectingly walk out your bathroom w your hair out 

when you see him, you freeze

you: 😦

hawks: 🥰  

“good mornin’ dove!” he chirps

you immediately run back into the bathroom  

and your bf sitting there like: 😗   

meanwhile youre panicking 

you have half the mind to jump out your bathroom window bc wtf!??? he wasn’t supposed to come until later in the afternoon when you were looking right and not like it was your first day out the prison gates

whiles you were thinking of a solution, your dumb ass forgot to lock the door so hawks slowly comes in with a worried look on his face

“everything okay, babe? you kinda ditched me there”

you look at him w pure fear and start fidgeting to cover your hair with your hands

“uh keigo! hi! yeah, sorry um...i was just--yknow--taken by surprise and like...um--i don’t look--my hair is just--”

hawks tilts his head in confusion until he finally notices that your hair is out 

he walks over to you like he’s in a trance 

cuts you off when his hands softly cup your jaw to tilt your chin and kiss the top of your head 

“well...this is the first time i’m seeing your hair”

you give up on hiding and sigh ready for his reacton. 

“yeah...”

in a moment of softness, he says,

“it’s beautiful. you’re beautiful.”

when you look up at him with surprise, hawks just smiles back at you w the most adoring expression on his face

after a second, you relax into a smile of your own and hold his wrists 

you can’t believe you ever thought he’d think anything less of you without the wigs

you’re so dumb

you shake your head at yourself before giving him a sweet kiss and can’t help but laugh when he literally chirps w excitement after you ask him to help you detangle 

[adorehs]

wipeout

Hi the beginning of this story was stuck in my brain for a while… so here it is lol. Got lazy at the end and this really isn’t all that good to begin with.

Summary: Surfer!Harry meets Lifeguard!Y/N after a tragic fall. (6.4k words)

Warnings: unprotected smut, kinda cringey as fuck at the end

Harry was trying to decide how harsh the waves would be by looking at the sky. It was a difficult task but proved to be more accurate then looking at the ocean, so he opted to stare at the sky like a lunatic for a few minutes before each surf.

“What's the consensus?” Louis asks, slapping two hands on Harry’s shoulders.

Harry shot his coach, Louis, a pointed glare, “Probably a bit heavier than usual but it’ll be doable.”

Louis, only a two years senior of twenty four year old Harry, had a spine fracture, resulting in the stiffness of his lower back. It wasn’t an uncommon injury, but it was a bad one. He found himself unable to surf for almost a year so he began coaching other athletes in the meantime. Meeting Harry at twenty two was one of the best things he could’ve done for himself.

Harry was a natural athlete, meaning he learned quickly and took direction well. He was self taught and was unable to do more than a few basic skills when Louis met him. Originally, Louis wanted nothing to do with Harry but he heard some scouts were onto him so he introduced himself and taught the twenty year old how to do a floater- riding the breaking lip of a wave.

He was impressed with the speed Harry picked up the skill so he returned the following day and taught him another skill and cleaned up some of his older ones. They both returned again and again for weeks until one day Louis asked him if he was looking for a sponsor. Harry agreed, and not only did Louis' life turn around as a coach but his companies profits broke records in the industry.

And Harry’s life changed for the better too. His body changed rapidly as he learned more and he was soon able to do almost all skills thrown in a pro competition, though some were sloppy. Louis began enrolling him in surf competitions so he could get some experience and visuals of the skillset of other surfers. In a matter of a year, Harry was surfing in the men’s qualifier for the championship tour to come the following year. At twenty four Harry’s name was racing to the top of the men’s surfing leader board.

Harry stood next to the bed of Louis’ truck, deciding which board he would ride with for the first round. There were three that laid flat, bound together with a cord taught against the rails. Louis always told Harry to pick the one he practices with, but Harry theorizes that each board puts him in a different mood and helps with different aspects of surfing. He would have to do a test run before he decides.

He unwound the cord and pulled out his practice board, making Louis smile in victory. “Don’t get too excited,” Harry mumbles, “Gonna decide later.”

Louis nodded in response and rounded the car to get Harry’s all black wetsuit for the competition. “Bathrooms round the corner,” he pointed at a large tent, “I’ll sign ya in and get your board.”

//

Harry took approximately five minutes in the ocean before paddling back and telling Louis which board he wanted to use (to which Louis rolled his eyes before getting him the white board with black accents). The wind was becoming increasingly heavy and the lifeguards called out everyone who was not in the competition from the area.

Harry squinted as he watched the sun reappear from a sliver between a few clouds, before lining up behind the surfers who stood before him in the queue. There were four competitors before his turn and he was watching as other athletes shook their knees in an effort to stay steady on their board.

“Remember, keep your body forward and don’t take off your leg rope,” Louis scolded him from his right.

Harry had a habit of removing his leg rope before getting up on the board- he says he can’t get a steady stance and he feels restricted. Louis, on the other hand, always butts heads with Harry on that point, claiming taking it off can get him disqualified in some competitions so keeping it on always will help him adapt. Harry never listened until he had to.

It wasn’t that he wasn’t serious, but rather too carefree. He wasn’t one to watch for form and technique unless he had to. He enjoyed the addictive serotonin he seemed to gain from surfing more than anything else.

The queue moved steadily forward and Harry found himself gripping onto his board and digging his toes into the sand as he felt the cool air nip at his exposed feet, “Double pump around, stay tight,” he mumbles his maneuvers to himself. It was only a matter of minutes before it would be his turn to find a wave. The forty-eight seconds allotted to each surfer seemed so short until they were in the ocean.

Harry gets waved in by a judge and he nods kindly before jogging towards the ocean. His hair was beginning to whip around his neck so once he got a bit further in, he sat on his board and tied it up into a bun before continuing forward in search of a wave.

//

You watched as Harry Styles was announced from your spot on the jet ski you were stationed at. You were listening to the live radio broadcast of his turn from your post, the jet ski shaking smoothly and jumping over small waves as the surfers got weaker and weaker from the unpredictable weather.

“Styles starts the final pulling into the pin nice and easy… a clean entrance,” you listen as the wave covers Harry’s body entirely before he reappears on the other side, falling onto the backside of the wave in celebration. You hum in acceptance of the man as he climbs back onto his board, fiddling with his foot rope.

He pauses as he sees another wave approaching and he paddles to the top so he can drop in. “Setting it up clean from the back, Styles is going in with a calm top turn wrap,” you watch as Harry gracefully maneuvers his body along the back of the wave, turning up the back and onto the side, hardly backtracking towards the rush of water.

“Right there! A lay back dagger under the lip. Very smooth, nice and high up on the wave… look at that wave crash too! Good momentum,” the announcer rambles about Harry’s next turn. You cheer silently at his success as his head bops out from under the wave.

“Deep off the bottom, crushing the finish! Another big hack he lets go of!” You watch Harry’s body twist, slightly uncomfortable, through the harsh wave. The water higher than you’ve seen it before, nearly covering your view from the lighthouse on the other side of the beach.

Harry groans at the sight of another good wave- hardly having recovered from the last. His knees were weak and his back was growing stiff at the unearthly winds that whipped harsh water onto his wetsuit like a slap on the back.

He drops in, “Big whip on the oncoming section, holds the rail into a huge top turn wrap and he’s pulling back into the pin,” and Harry’s hand comes in contact with the water once again, making him pull his hand back harshly.

He panics at the feeling and shakes his hand vigorously, slowing down the direction of his surfing. He steps backwards slightly, shaking wildly at the wind hitting his unstable board. Within moments, the board flies out from beneath his feet and hits him square on the head.

Harry’s body falls flat onto the water as his leg lets off the loosened rope and his board comes up without him.

“Styles seems to have taken a trip under for a moment,” the announcer continues, “He has one wave left until competitor Horan makes start.”

Your eyes watch with shock as you wait for Harry to rise from the water- to see his mop of hair or the electric blue of his wet suit. Thirty, thirty one, thirty two, you counted in a rhythm. At forty, you were required to begin your ride towards the athlete.

“Y/N,” you hear on the radio channel, “Head out!”

That was all the invitation you needed as you stood up slightly, grasping onto a ring buoy with an extended cord and tying it to the base of your jet ski. You remained standing as you raced towards the waves, the wind almost knocking you over multiple times as you looked through the water for any indication of Harry.

Your heart drops as you hear the radio go silent with a short static ring and the ocean water grows darker as the sun falls behind a group of clouds. A clap of thunder startles you as you see other lifeguards arriving to take the other surfers back to shore.

You swam in large circles around the area for what felt like a few minutes, but in reality only lasted another thirty seconds.

Out of the blue, you see a small wave crash over Harry’s board and his head makes a light appearance.

Fighting to get his side as quickly as possible, you drag him up onto the buoy you held and tied it to the back of your jet ski. He lays flat on the floating donut, face up, as you wave your arms wildly to indicate you need help.

//

Harry was lying limp against your back as you rode back steadily, the weight of his buff body heavy on yours as you tried to keep the two of you steady without dropping him or falling over.

Coming to an abrupt stop, three men race towards you, “Jesus Harry,” you hear one curse. You look up and make eye contact with the man who is staring at the boy on your back, “Told you keep you fuckin’ leg rope on,” he continues. You conclude the man must be Harry’s coach.

The two other men help him off of you and you curse as you temporarily beach your jet ski. The men had grabbed Harry by the arms and were dragging him onto the ground to see if he needed CPR. “He has a pulse,” one mentions, “But he doesn’t seem to be breathing properly.”

You curse under your breath, “Move,” you mutter, leaning above Harry. Your hands meet his chest as you do a routine of thirty chest compressions and two rescue breaths, “Call first aid,” you scold.

Your mouth meets Harry’s for a second time and you feel his lips twitch under yours. You gasp and sit up, beginning chest compressions again so you don't get water in your own mouth when he starts breathing again.

Sure enough, Harry lets out a dramatic gasp and begins coughing up a bit of water. You lean back before he can project any of the salty water onto your body and continue doing chest compressions until you can feel him breathing normally again.

“You good?” You ask as his coach brings him a towel, “Fall seemed pretty harsh but your run was good.”

“Thanks,” he glanced at you dismissively. “Lou, do you know if I can get my time back?”

“Probably not,” ‘Lou’ replies, “They already started with Horan so I doubt they’d put you back in for just one run.”

Harry nods sadly at his coach and looks back at you, “Do you know where I can get some warmth?” he asks.

Your mouth opens then closes a bit, “Uh- not exactly?”

“It’s a yes or no question,” he counters.

“Yes,” you pause, “But I don’t know if I can take you there.”

He glares at you, “Well can you find out,” his teeth are chattering from the cold air and strong winds blowing his hair entirely to one side.

“Uh.. yeah,” you reply, “I’ll be back.” You walk out of earshot from Harry and his coach and find your dad, the head of the competition.

“Hey- uh Dad?” you ask, tapping on his shoulder. He is speaking to a group of coordinators for the event, moving his hands animatedly.

He turned with a large smile, “Hey honey,” he eyes your wet body, “Everyone good?”

You nod, “Yeah I- uh,” you hesitate, “I wanted to know if I could bring Harry to the lighthouse?”

“Harry Styles?” he asks with a grin, “He’s a great kid, how’s he doin’?”

“He’s alright now, he wanted to get some warmth. I just pulled him from the water.”

Your dad’s eyes widen, “Yeah.. take the bike and be safe.”

You nod a quick thanks before throwing an “I love you,” over your shoulder and finding your duffel bag with the keys and a spare change of clothes.

You present yourself in front of Harry once again, holding onto your duffel and spinning your motorbike keys around your finger, “Come on, gotta get there quick, hm?”

He looks at his coach and nods back at you, “Okay, let’s go.” He stands up and follows you as you lead the way to your motorbike.

“Sorry, I don’t exactly have a warm car,” you say, straddling the bike and kicking the stand up, steadying it with your legs. “Hop on, though, we’ll be there in a few minutes,” you tap the seat behind you, turning forward and holding your helmet back so Harry could use it.

“You should use it,” he comments, pushing your hand slightly back towards your body.

“I know how to be safe, you use it,” you counter, handing the helmet back. He takes a long look at your unwavering stare and sighs as he pushes the helmet onto the mop of curls that are slowly drying off the top of his head.

Once you are sure he is secure, you check around your shoulder before speeding out of the parking lot.

It was mildly uncomfortable- Harry in a skin tight wetsuit and you in an awkwardly fitting one piece. You were both extremely cold and Harry found himself wrapping his arms around you as best as he could to preserve any bit of warmth from both of your bodies as he could.

You sighed in content as you see the lighthouse approaching ahead of you. You slow the motorbike down and park it right before the miniature entrance to the large building, kicking the stand down and locking the bike.

“There are lots of stairs but the place is pretty modern,” you shrug. Between each loop of the spiral staircase there was a different room- a kitchen, a bedroom, a bathroom, a study, and an observatory.

“You can stay down here, I have to turn the heater up,” you begin walking up the stairs before turning to look at him, who’s looking around the kitchen with wide eyes, “Do you want any clothes?”

“Umm,” Harry looks down at his current outfit, “Yes please.”

You nod, going up to the bedroom which was the next floor up. The thermostat dial makes a clicking noise as you increase the temperature in the building, the vents exhausting as air begins flowing. You then changed out of your wet bathing suit into a large sweater and some shorts before finding some of your dad’s clothes of a similar nature before going back down and handing them to Harry.

“They should fit, you can go up and change. I’ll make some food,” you point upstairs without looking at Harry, making your way up to make do with what was remaining in the lighthouse food storage.

You look through what your dad called the freezer- in reality, you thought it was more of a poor excuse of a fridge- and find the stash of frozen meals your family tends to keep there in case of emergencies. “Chicken parm,” you mumble aloud, turning the box over in your hands multiple times in an effort to find and read the expiration date. “Next week… guess I have no choice.”

You turn on the toaster oven that was hidden inside a cabinet and wait for it to heat up. You hear Harry’s heavy footing coming down the wooden paneling of the stairs and you glance at him as he walks over and opens a cupboard.

“Thanks for the clothes,” he mentions, hardly sparing you a glance. “Is there anything edible we can have with that?”

You shrug, “Feel free to look. I have a feeling everything else is just as bad as this.”

He nods, rummaging through the cardboard boxes and plastic containers that were half full from your quick meals. “Ah-ha!” he manages out- head buried deep into the cupboard. “Cocoa powder,” he grins childishly.

You let out a soft chuckle under your breath, “Be my guest,” you gesture towards the stove tops with a set of pants sitting on top of them.

He happily makes his way over, cracking open the box in the process. “Need to boil some water,” he mentions, looking at you.

You find a bottle on the table that hadn’t been opened and hand it to him. He pours the water into the pan and allows it to sit and boil as he watches you carefully reach your hand into the oven and check if the chicken parmesan was at the right temperature.

“Can you even tell like that?” he asks, back leaning against a counter and arms crossed over his chest, making him look even more buff.

“Kind of,” you shrug, glancing over your shoulder, “I bet it’ll need another minute in there before the inside actually warms up,” you conclude, pulling your hand from the oven and closing the door to it.

The water begins to boil in the pan and Harry brings the heat down to a simmer, adding the cocoa, sugar, and a pinch of salt that he found in the same cupboard. He hums in approval as he pours the hot chocolate into two mugs, adding the milk he heated up in another pan into each and mixing them until he is satisfied with the new consistency of the drink.

“Perfect for a rainy day!” he smacks his lips obnoxiously after taking a sip.

“This is definitely the weirdest food combo I’ve ever had,” you pull the chicken parmesan out of the oven.

Harry chuckles, using two forks to move the bulk of chicken onto a plate impatiently. “I’ve had worse. Eaten bugs and s’mores.”

“See, but at least that makes sense. I can guess you’ve had that when camping… this just seems odd.”

He shrugs, “I guess,” he takes a bite out of the chicken. “Why is this really good?” his eyes widened.

You let out a hearty laugh, “Because I cooked it fully and made sure it wasn’t expired?” you explain in a ‘duh’ tone.

Harry rolls his eyes, “Where’d all this sass come from? You were so shy twenty minutes ago.”

“You were a lot meaner twenty minutes ago,” you counter. Your eyes dart towards your phone when you hear it begin to vibrate abruptly.

“Hey dad,” you pick up.

“Hey hon, you guys being safe? Don’t think the storm’s gonna let up anytime soon, so if Harry’s gotta be somewhere he’s gotta go now,” your father's voice comes blaring through the speaker of your phone.

You feel blood rushing to your cheeks at the comment, you wanted to seem independent, “Yeah, we’re safe. I’ll ask him. You good? Need any help down there? I beached my ski by the way, not sure if you saw…” you rambled.

“No, just stay there hon. We got your ski docked and we’ll take care of everything. Check with Harry and don’t go out unless you absolutely need to!”

You hum a response of understanding and bid farewell before hanging up. “Do you need to go somewhere? Or are you staying here?”

“Am I allowed to stay?” he counters.

“If you don’t need to leave tonight then sure. There’s room,” you shrug, picking up your now completed dish and placing it in the sink to wash later.

“I’ll stay,” he confirms, getting up and placing his dish in the sink too before soaking them with water to get the grease off easier.

You nod and look out the small window in front of the sink. The wind was making boats rock and you could see a tree branch fly in front of the window, likely meaning the storm was going to turn into a full fledged hurricane.

You hear the water running smoothly as Harry scrubs each dish and sets them out to dry on the counter, “So what happened?” you ask.

“Huh?”

“Like, when you were surfing. How’d ya fall? You don’t seem like the type,” you shrug, turning to face him.

He glances at you before sitting back down at the dining table, “Lots a things… took off my leg rope, fucked up my footing, hit my head with my board… the list goes on.”

You squint at the man before nodding in disbelief, “Okay. What got you into surfing?”

“Thought it looked cool and I had moved to Malibu. Just rented a board and learned how to stand in a few days. Figured someone could show me the basics and then I met my coach Louis and he signed me,” Harry explains dismissively, “Why’re you a lifeguard? And how’d you get in here?”

“My dad owns this building and he’s the coordinator of the surfing events. Says he knows you but I don’t believe him-” you were cut off.

“No way! Your dad is Mr. Y/L/N? He’s so cool,” Harry gushes. “Paid for my first board and got me a waiver for my first competition out here.”

You let out a laugh, “Yeah, I told him to do that.”

Harry’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion and his eyes pleaded to know why you would ask for such a thing for an inexperienced surfer. “I was following Louis before his injury and I knew he wouldn’t put on a bad athlete. Started following you once you got signed,” you continued.

“Did you think I was good?” He asks after absorbing what you had said. You noticed he’s not particularly keen on talking about himself.

“At first I thought you sucked,” you chuckled, sitting down with him at the table, “But the more I watched of you the more drastically you improved. By 2018 I think I was sold completely on you as an athlete. Listened to most of your runs by radio.”

“Only took you two years?” Harry asked, surprised, “Most people are hardly starting with me. Just got my first offer to switch sponsors last week.”

“Always rooting for the underdog a bit, I guess,” you giggle. Though you’ve been sitting with Harry for quite some time now, you are just now realizing the gravity of the situation- you are sitting with an athlete you had admired for years. “I always knew you had potential, though. Went from mediocre to average in just a few months. Impressive,” you smile at him.

“Ah so you were a fan from the start,” Harry teases, “Attracted to my ambition and drive, I bet,” he continued on.

“Don’t let me inflate your head too much, but yes,” you laugh, “You could call me a fan.”

“Now are you a fan of me or a fan of my talent?” he asks.

“Hmmm...” you hum teasingly, “Both?”

“I’m a fan of you too,” Harry smiles. You thought he had some narcissistic qualities to him but he earned them from being so talented.

You step closer to him with a childish grin of your own, “Just me? Or do you like that I saved you?”

His eyes darken to a deeper sea green color at the thought of you, “I like you. And your actions,” he pauses in what seems to be appreciation, “And how fucking sick it is that you drive a motorcycle,” he adds thoughtfully.

You let out a laugh and a quick thanks, smiling at him widely. You didn’t realize you were staring until you heard him clear a hack from his throat, “So what now?”

“Umm,” you hesitate before carefully choosing your words, “You can kiss me?” you ask.

Harry pauses, eyes wide. You knew you made a mistake with that and you quickly tried to retract your previous question, “I- uh- sorry,” you apologize bashfully, “I definitely read the room wrong. I’m really sorry if I made you uncomfort-”

You were cut off by Harry taking an impulsive step forward, his left hand finding your waist and his right meeting your jaw. His lips met yours with such great force, you didn’t think moving your mouth against his would end well with all the pressure his mouth forced upon yours.

He pulls away from you slowly, letting the feeling of his lips linger on yours, “Read the room perfectly fine, love,” he comments before reattaching your lips.

This time, the kiss was filled with lust and executed more passion than the previous. You smile and let out a breathy gasp when Harry's fingers squeeze your waist where you find yourself very ticklish. He smiles back against your mouth and slides his hand under your sweatshirt, working it up towards your breast.

“Fuck,” you moan into his mouth as he begins to knead your breast with precise movements. His hand covered the majority of your breast, his palm directly on your hard nipple. He grunts as your hand lowers on his body, cupping his cock through the shorts you gave him.

“God, baby,” he moans as you start palming him through his shorts. Your treatment excites him and he starts rolling your hardened nipples between his index finger and thumb, switching breasts every few minutes so keep the pleasure ongoing.

You let out a whine as he pulls back, “Bedroom,” he pants.

You nod hastily, his hand meeting your lower back as he helps you walk the swirling steps that cover the perimeter of the room. You throw your body onto the bed that is laid in the middle of the room, shoving your shorts and panties off and flinging them to the foot of the bed. You do the same with your sweatshirt and Harry follows in suit, falling on top of you when he’s done.

Once again, his mouth finds yours, this time his hands making their way down to your dripping cunt. You let out an exaggerated, “Fuck,” when his cold finger makes contact with your swollen clit.

His legs are straddling your body, hand rubbing quick circles on your clit, and yours finds its way to his hardened cock.

It sat stiff against his stomach, begging to be teased so you obliged. You reach down and take his cock into your hand, squeezing it softly eliciting a loud moan from Harry’s pink lips. He moves his lips down to your neck, burying his head into the crook before sucking harshly, sure to leave you purple.

Your head rolls back and to the side giving him more access to your neck and you quicken your hand movements on his cock, sliding your hand up and down quickly, your thumb swiping on his opening and using precum as a lubricant.

You let out a wrangled moan as his fingers trail down to your hot cunt, sliding in fully, his finger gaining warmth quickly from your core, “Feels so good,” you let out.

He hums into your neck, sitting up and kissing you full on the lips. He lays down and finds himself leaving wet, hot kisses across your skin from your ankle up to your inner thigh. His teeth find a home on the soft flesh of your inner thigh and leave a dark mark on your skin, making you moan at the sight.

As his lips travel towards your clit, you find yourself unable to breathe, constantly gasping for air. Your heart is beating out of your chest as he lays his tongue flat on your core, licking you from the bottom to the top repeatedly.

Your hands find their way into his hair as you tug him closer to your body. He lets out a soft giggle at the motion and kisses your clit in appreciation. He begins his assault on your clit, nibbling it softly and moving it around his tongue as your gasp for air beneath him.

You begin tugging on his hair, begging for more. You needed to feel him fully. He understands your inverbal signal, standing up properly from his place, a bit of cum glistening on his chin. As if he senses your eyes on his chin, he uses his thumb to swipe the cum off, sucking his thumb clean.

You groan at the sight of him teasing you, using your hands to pull him on top of you again, “Please,” you beg.

He smirks at your desperation and lets out a simple, one word question, “Condom?”

You shake your head vigorously. No time for that, you thought. “Wanna feel you,” you tell him, “Is that okay?”

He lets out a laugh, “Yes, what kind of question is that?”

His cock finds its way into your hand again, you lining it up with your slick entrance. Slowly, you push your bodies together, letting them mold together perfectly. You gasp immediately at the feeling of him inside you. You understood his size, but when he was on top of you, you found he was much larger than you first anticipated.

You push him away once he gets halfway through, “Hold on,” you grunt, adjusting your position on your bed. He hums in acceptance, catching his breath as well.

He sighs in relief as you grant him permission to push further, both of you moaning in unison. Him at the tightness and you at the stretch. You both found immediate pleasure within each other without much else needed.

“Fuck,” you groan into his ear as he starts quickening his pace. His both moved in quick, deep strokes as your lips met over and over, making the room sound exclusively of your skin touching and breathy moans.

He slows down a bit, his strokes becoming a bit more sloppy, as he feels you begin to twitch beneath him. “Harry,” you plead.

He smiles, still working you up slowly, “Yes?”

“Fuck me please,” you beg, you head jerking back as he quickens his pace once more.

He increases speed and you shift your body to the side a bit to feel him deeper than before. You were nearing your orgasm and Harry could feel it too. That’s why he’s fucking with you, you tell yourself.

“I’m about to come,” he warns, pulling out of you completely. You whine at the loss, your hand reaching towards his again. “No,” he whispers, his hand swatting your hand away and meeting your clit once more. His fingers work fast, teasing you with soft touches, and soon enough you have come all over his fingers.

“Fuck,” you comment one last time.

//

You and Harry sat on the bed, him holding you close to him from behind, as you watched a film. As engrossed as you were with The Princess Bride, Harry could not relate. He had seen the film multiple times before- a result of growing up with an older sister- and could practically quote it with his eyes closed.

Harry was bored, to say the least.

At first, he tried to make you pay attention to him, but it didn’t work. This was one of your all time favorite movies, after all.

He tried to squeeze you closer to him, play with your hair, even tickle you. Nothing was working. You were zoned into the film, watching as Westley chants ‘As you wish!” as he tumbles from the hilltops, Buttercup quickly realizing her mistake and tumbling down after him.

Harry sighed in frustration. He was needy and horny. He wanted your attention.

His hand trailed down from where it sat on your waist to your legs, spreading them apart as he pleased. You hardly gave the action a second though, spreading your legs at his will and leaning further into his back.

Harry smirked, his hand rubbing up and down your bare thigh, making you shiver at his touch. He understood the effect he had on girls but you weren’t just a girl- you were a woman. A beautiful, sexy, kind woman.

He teased you for a bit, still attempting to get your attention. His goal was an utter failure, though. All he got was a few laughs caused by the film and some slight squirming- not what he expected.

You gasped loudly as Harry’s hand moved its way down towards your core for a second time that night, moving your panties to the side as his index finger met your clit.

He began slowly, rubbing soft, slow circles, “Keep watching,” he’d remind you.

You would let a weak nod through your poker face, trying to diverge your thoughts to the couple portrayed on the screen in front of you, but it was impossible. Harry was all consuming.

The soft and slow circles abruptly became quick, and the one finger became three. His hand laid flat against you, occasionally slipping down into your dripping cunt. You gasped every few moments at a new sensation you felt along your body, whether that be his lips on your ear or his other hand on your breast.

Your leg moves farther from your center, finding a new home propped up on Harry’s bent knee. He pushed your leg up when he brought his knee closer to his chest and rubbed you from what seemed to be the best angle yet, beckoning a, “Right there, fuck,” from your swollen lips.

“Feels good, hm?” Harry asks, his lips right on your ear. You feel your face begin to heat up as pleasure seems to overwhelm your body from the past days events.

“So good, don’t stop,” you edge on.

Harry obediently continues his assault on your clit- fingers moving quickly as your back arches against him in a continuous rhythm, your head thrashing back and forth in harmony, and it was safe to assume that the movie is long forgotten now.

You let out a loud moan, your body beginning to shake with pleasure, as Harry’s other hand found its way to your dripping core. He continued rubbing whilst also penetrating you slowly and teasingly with his fingers.

Within the next minute you came, the room filled with your screams and breathy moans and Harry’s smug laugh. You decided he enjoyed watching you struggle under his hands.

//

It was a longstanding tradition of yours to have tea at the observatory the night after a big storm. You felt it was nice to assess the damage from the one place it could look beautiful.

You woke up to the sound of seagulls pecking at a lighthouse window as they usually the night after a storm. It was theorized that they were on the hunt for food. You turned to look towards Harry, hoping they wouldn’t wake him up. He laid next to you, arm sprawled out and over your shoulder and you were forced to chuckle at the sight because you hadn't seen someone look so good while asleep in a while.

You carefully untangled yourself from his hold and walked downstairs to the kitchen in hopes of making some tea.

You went through the grueling ten minute process of boiling a pot of water on a gas stove before transferring the water into a mug and adding a green tea bag into it, making sure to add a note stating you would be on the top floor just in case Harry woke up before you were back.

The stairs took far too long then necessary to climb but they were long and drawn out, hardly stairs at the point. You reached the top deck with a significantly cooler mug but you didn’t mind. Part of the tradition.

You looked out over the beach- trash littered over the bleachers they didn’t have time to put away, tree branches all over the ground, the sand looking darker than usual- likely drenched from the previous night's rain.

It was an odd sensation- to see birds flying in circles looking for the food and their old homes.

“Well fuck,” you mutter, taking in what you would be cleaning up for the next few days with your dad.

“Woah it looks rough out here,” you hear Harry’s deep and groggy morning voice. You turned to look at him, his eyes hardly open as he stretched his arms out behind him, his torso out on display.

“Yeah, gotta clean it up soon,” you speak softly. Even through the darkest storms, the water stays relatively calm. The waves crashed just as intensely as before, claiming the sand as their own as you watched from a birds eye view.

“Need any help?” he offers.

You smile and shake your head before turning back towards the ocean, “No, that’s fine. You should probably train some more anyway.”

“It’s nice to take a break sometimes too,” he tells you, stepping forward so he is standing directly to your right.

“I guess,” you shrug, “Wasn’t last night a good enough break?”

“Definitely not,” Harry shakes his head.

You shoot him a glare, about to give him a piece of your mind before he continues, “Nowhere near long enough.”

“Well, how long would you like this break to be?” you ask him, turning so your chest is practically touching his.

“Like,” he pauses teasingly, “Like a long time,” he decides.

“Is this your corrupt way of asking me out?” you ask with a smile spread across your lips. Harry nods in response, making you squeal with happiness.

Your arms find their way around his broad shoulders as he hugs you, lifting you up and off the ground slightly.

“So that means you’ll help me clean right?” you ask Harry, making him groan. “I’m just kidding, you can stay here in this lighthouse with me,” you seal your promise with a deep kiss on his lips.

“Hmm, sit in this lighthouse with you all night, surf all day. Sounds like a dream,” Harry comments, his arms finding their way around your body, holding you close to him. Your chests heaved in unison as you found your heartbeat rising.

“You’re a dream.”

[catty-words]

throwing letters at you for the tv show moments! BTVS and JATP please 💖

i love letters! i particularly love combinations of letters that signify my favorite shows!

btvs - the spuffy scene in the church in 'beneath you' for how much POETRY is going on there. the way the scene makes me dizzy, while i try to reckon with the full brilliance of one line i am punched in the face less than a second later by an even more brilliant line. i should be so lucky to ever write something so breathtaking and Heady.

jatp - the entirety of the 'bright' performance!! it's been the show's preview on netflix for a bit now (the way the 'watch again' queue is always one of the first categories netflix offers me; it has learned my patterns too well aNYWAY) and i stop and watch every single time because there's so much joy packed into the number. none of the bitter-sweetness of 'stand tall,' none of the juicy relationship drama of 'edge of great' - just pure, unbridled FATED BANDMATES feels. them discovering how much fun it is to perform together, the instant clickage. julie finding her love of performing again, luke realizing he doesn't have to give that up in this weird half-life in which he finds himself. the energy of it is unmatched for me, instant serotonin.

Send me a show, and I will tell you a specific moment from that show that I love with all my heart.

[tendousthoughts]

Different Type of Love

Y/N or Ship(s): Y/N (Y/N x Kageyama)

Genre: Angst with a fluff ending

Warning(s): Foul language (cursing)

Summary: He gets too personal with his attacks, and I guess I’m just too emotional but I don’t know who wouldn’t be hurt. I get it I am a fucking idiot, to much of a crybaby. I get that I’m not what you want.

A/N: I am not a Kageyama lover, but I can imagine him just getting so mad at me to the point he says something he will regret. This is a huge angst. Serotonin by girl in red is stuck in my head lmao plz help. Please feel free to reblog! Sorry for the grammatical and spelling errors!

Welcome Back

He walks in and his anger is radiating off of him.

“Hey baby I-” He walked right past you. Like you were invisible to him. Without even a word.

I wonder what happened ~ y/n

You take a breath and follow after. Finding him in the room you guys share changing into some comfier clothes. As he finishes and sits on the bed playing with his phone, you slowly walk up sitting next to him. He moves a bit farther from you and you take the queue to move back a bit.

“Y/n, what do you need?” He spoke with annoyance.

“Uh,” You sit there dumbfounded. It was the first time in months that he had called you that. “Are you free for dinner?”

“Maybe. Can you leave me alone now?” He spoke not even sparing you a glance.

“Ya um talk to you later I guess,” you grab your stuff heading to the spare bedroom feeling like shit already. Not having any idea what had got him so annoyed.

Did I do something? Why is he so annoyed? ~ y/n

You cuddle up in the bed wearing his jacket. It smelled just like him, for some weird reason it just made you more uncomfortable. Maybe because it was just a remembrance of how you're just an annoyance to the real person. That you had to go to his things for comfort, not even him could deal with you. You took it off, placing it on the desk next to the bed. You grab your phone and headphones next to it. You plopped them in and tried to relax. He didn’t even say anything mean. It was just the tone, hurt, if that made sense.

You wake up to a presence around you. Turning around you see Kageyama behind you. He has his arms wrapped around you and his face in his hair. You smile a bit. So maybe it wasn’t you, maybe you were at the wrong place in the wrong time. You smile softly as you feel so warm and comfy your blushing. Then you wake up, for real this time. The bed is empty. Just that jacket, and you.

Dinner

You walk into the room he was in. There he was sleeping, like there wasn’t a care in the world. It was five. You had set up a date at six, but he just looked tired. So you decide not to wake him. You smile softly getting ready. Grabbing your keys, you call up Tsukishima, your ex. You don’t know why, but you just want to check up on him. You guys are still close.

Ring...

Ring...

Ring...

“Hey y/n? What’s up?” He states.

“Just wondering if you and Yams want to go for dinner, on me?” You state, hopeful.

“Uh, let me see,” Tsukishima got quiet for a second before returning, “Ya that seems fine send me the location we will be there soon.”

“Oh ya of course!” You smile with excitement. “Thanks..” your voice kinda dies from the excitement.

“You good?” He knows you too well, just like an older brother.

“Kinda, just Kags got kinda annoyed today about something and he doesn’t wanna talk. But, it is all good see you soon!” You smile getting in the car and buckle up.

“Ya. Don’t let him get to you, you're better than that. Bye see you soon,” he chuckles and he hangs up. You sent the location, putting your phone in silent, and went to the restaurant.

You talk to the worker and they switch it to three people. Five minutes later they arrive and you are shown to your seats. “Yamaguchi you’re looking really nice you got to send me that skin care routine,” you laugh a bit.

“Ya I will for sure, it really helped me.” He smiles a bit. Grabbing one of the menus, “You don’t have to pay I’m fine paying.” He smiles a bit.

“Oh um you sure I want to pay,” you smile.

“Oh, I guess you can then but if you don’t feel comfortable with it tell me okay?” He smiles. Tsukishima is lucky he ended up with such a nice guy.

“Ya of course,” you look over at Tsukishima. He is looking through the menu.

He looks up a bit, “thank you for dinner, and inviting us otherwise we would still be in our house basically doing nothing.”

“It is nothing, I just wanted some company and you guys are always fun to hangout with,” you whisper softly looking at the menu. If Kageyama wasn’t so busy maybe you could be with him right now.

You guys order, then get the food, eat, make jokes and just hang out. You feel needed something you haven’t felt in a while, being with Kageyama.

“So Yamaguchi, how is Tsukishima treating you? I’ll beat him up if he is treating you anything worse then as if you are a king!” You joke.

“No need he is treating me perfectly, how about Kageyama?” He is looking at you with a smile.

“Okay I guess,” you mumble trying to avoid the conversation you mention ice cream, you don’t want this to end, you don’t want to have to go home.

“Oh ya that will be on us though!” Yamaguchi smiles softly.

“Okay I guess, you guys pick the place and I will pay up in the front,” you walk up and a good looking male is at the register.

“Um, can I please pay for the dinner now?” You smile softly.

“Sure, um by any chance can I get your phone number?” He smiles a bit as he rings up the price. You blush, not thinking you automatically say no.

“He’s cute,” Yamaguchi chuckles as he sees you blushing.

“Yams..” Tsukishima mumbles softly.

“Oh but my Tsuki is the cutest isn’t he?” Yamaguchi smiles at Tsukishima’s blush.

You smile, getting ice cream with them and then heading back.

Wishes

Here we go, brace yourself ~ y/n

As you unlock the door there he is as soon as you walk in. You have your headphones ready, you can’t handle screaming today.

“Where the hell have you been?” Kageyama takes note of your outfit.

You do what he did to you this morning, walk right past him.

“HEY! I AM TALKING TO YOU!” He follows. You start to change and get into comfy clothes then head to the spare room not ready for his bull shit.

“AYE STUPID,” He screams clearly pissed and you can’t tell why. He did the same thing and now he wants to be annoyed. “FUCKING IDIOT OVER HERE! CAN YOU STOP BEING SO IMMATURE. JUST TELL ME WHERE YOU WENT!” You stay silent. “GOD FUCKING DAMN IT, I WISH I GOT A BETTER PARTNER!”

“What?” You mutter out playing with your phone.

“What do you mean what?” He looks at you with pure disgust.

“What do you want from me?” You mutter, “J-just leave me then” you voice cracks as tears flood your eyes. “You come home and you're pissed for god knows what reason then you take it out on me. YOU tell me to leave you alone and I do. I was hungry, so I asked some people if they wanted to go for dinner. UNLIKE YOU they actually want my company,” you can’t even look at him. “You push me away and when I do the same thing to you, I messed up huh? YOU asked for space. FUCKING 50 calls! YOU called me 50 times! YOU asked for space!”

It finally hit him how much he has been hurting you. He runs up to you and just doesn’t know what to do. “I didn’t me-”

“You think I don’t think you didn’t mean to? I know you, unlike how you don’t know anything about me. You always like to pretend to be the best boyfriend when anyone is around. Whenever I need you, that just switches.” You can’t help the words spilling out. “I feel so lonely...”

He looks at you and tears are slipping. “Y/n, I really love you please I am sorry. Please don’t break up with me. I am sorry. Today was tough and I shouldn’t have done that. I know, I suck I know but please... I will be better.” You look at him, he looks like a mess. “I was worried, got up and you weren’t there. Then you weren’t answering and I thought you left and then I saw you all dressed up when you came home and I just flipped out. I shouldn’t have.” He began to panic and you could tell. He began breathing heavy. This only happened one other time, he was having a panic attack and it seemed like he might have had one earlier due to what he was saying. “It’s hard to breath.”

“Babe..” You pulled him to the bed and held him tight. “It is going to be okay, take a deep breath with me on the count of three, one, two three, breath,” you repeat till he is calm.

He is still crying holding on to you tight just repeating, “I’m sorry” uncontrollably. You hold him till he falls asleep. Maybe he wasn’t the best but he does truly love you it seems. Maybe he is just bad at showing it. You could work with that. No. You guys could work with that.