#quick ​edit bc i already posted one of these oop

[lonelyy-clown]

day dreamer mini dump because i havent been posting art here much

im learning how to shitpost if you can tell :o)

not art i just like this pic lol

[lordxgrinnyxboy]

rewatching tgm, wifi being useless edition 2/?

every time i hear puppet!Dea say “when a story is raw and real” i see Mr. Gordon Ramsey memes, they just scroll across my vision and there’s nothing i can do to stop it u-u

ngl im kinda in love with Mojo Puppeteer

the foot shimmy during this scene, like right as Ursus gets up off the floor Gwyn/Mr. Maskell does this little ankle squirm. u-u

foreaaaaaaaaaarmmmmssssss

love how mr maskell doesn't emote w/his face while puppeteering but ms. brisson's just facially so into this performance and honestly so's ms. onitiri

also love all the different bits of ribbon and such puppet!Dea’s hair is made of. several different textures in there

kay but the way he makes the prince puppet kinda bounce in place as he sings “only those three words could ever free me from the curse” it just makes it look like the prince is kindof adorably excited about this

im just now realizing that one part of the puppet is supposed to be the prince’s mouth and not his chin or something.

Dea’s soft “oh” when their hands touch

foreaaaaaarmsssss

Gwynlit always looks so shook as they step back from each other after the aging up sequence like he’s full dear-in-headlights (i know it’s ‘deer’ in headlights but he is Dear to Me so)

and really so is Dea for a second there

oh god her look of alarm  changes to a smile the second Gwyn starts singing. i need a minute.

i love these two so much

the harmony will never not end my life why is it so powerful

idk what they put in this song but every single time my aroace self is like “shfjshfsj play this at my wedding” and then i have to be like “wait.”

Dea’s adorable and i hope she knows how adorable she is

im cry they’re so cute they’re so cute i love these two

Quake is on it about letting ppl know entertainment’s cancelled due to the king dying Quake is ready Quake loves her job so much

oh so  the barrels are just there for Dirry-Moir and Osric to have somewhere to sit while Ursus tells the story okay

wait how quick did dude just throw on his Clarence costume and climb in the coffin that was. super duper fast

he’s literally offscreen for 24 seconds and managed to

holy cats how does he do it

wait also mojo tho. mojo had to put on his priest costume

wait also Osric and Dirry-Moir had to put on their Lord attire

and they say movies are supposed to be magic

just continuing to absolutely love every character played by ms. obianyo

love how they just. have trombones. 10/10

i mean i guess the costume changes aren’t super complicated like throw on a robe and a wig but STILL within 24 seconds? i think it’s impressive

oh hey jojo-as-a-random-lord is also here

ohhhhh is that why Jojo’s costume is Like That then? to make it easier to switch characters real fast? but no actually???

the hats on the lords tho. we’ve got Fish Lord, Bunny Lord,,, maybe some kind of Bird or Chicken Lord...

so it’s a Pig’s Foot that killed Clarence and the name of the holy relic translates to like, “pig’s flower” ...thematic....dots.......

oop there’s Only a Clown

ngl i kinda love Archbishop Kupsak. a weird dude.

would love to know why Angelica thought she needed to ‘make a law’ regarding traitors being brought to justice. just curious about her thought-process. heck she could probably have her own musical.

WAIT MS OBIANYO PLAYS THE TROMBONE. SICK.

wait hey, hey. hey. petition for ms. obianyo to play a FATE.

oh god it’s my least favorite scene

skip? no...but? no u-u

jojo apologize to the trash clown

scene too stressful

genuinely have no thoughts, head completely empty

CART SCENE CART SCENE CART SCENE

is that a bowl and spoon on th-

separate post separate post gentlefolks of the jury i

jaw twitch

okay but Dea gets this Look when Gwyn asks Ursus “who did this to me” she looks a little Surprised

does not react however to “who carved me into this freak”

the hand flex as Gwyn walks away from Ursus after Ursus Won’t Let Him Talk

oh Osric you absolute delight

beauty and the beast ii destroys me every time gwyn’s just steadily wilting but trying to hold on but he can’t and Dea’s so supportive

would love to know what Ursus’ take on all this would’ve been if he hadn’t been involved. like would he still be hell-bent on not letting Gwyn remember or would he have been more chill about letting Gwyn make that decision for himself

like on the one hand i can see why Ursus would think that maybe Gwyn would be better off not remembering, but also making him forget clearly didn’t actually help him suffer any less, it just gave him a different kind of suffering. He’s wrung-out tormented and Ursus can’t/won’t help him because of the potential repercussions of Gwyn learning the truth. which do include some Worst Timeline options for how that could go but. also include a few Gwyn’s Able To Move On And Live Well, With Or Without Ursus options so.

idk i just feel like after a certain point of seeing how Gwyn’s basically falling apart over all this Ursus really should’ve considered having that difficult Discussion bc that boy was Not getting better on Ursus’ Plan A

also the whole dismissively invalidating ur kid’s struggle is not a good look Ursus

i love him and absolutely believe he is definitely Trying His Best but he’s #Problematic_Dad for sure

that bit where Ursus notices Josiana as if for the first time and does that little bow to her oh my goodness XD

also him just trying so hard to keep it together in the lead-up to Born Broken. debating whether Ursus sticking his head through the curtain is the funniest part of this show. probably not but it’s real close

Dea’s so pretty and i love her outfit u-u

and her blue makeup

and her lovely lovely eyes like wow she’s Perfect

this girl is in her element and im fully convinced that in the version of events where Gwyn and Dea stay on as Lord and Lady Dea does some addressing of parliament or whatever, has speaking engagements, she’s all kinds of involved.

there’s tears in Ursus’ eyes during this bit and i don’t agree w/him but i do feel bad for him. he does want to do right by these kids but he’s just...it’s not working out for him because he can’t have it both ways.

i mean genuinely tho Ursus is so desperate to forget/bury/escape/move on from the past but in adopting Gwyn and trying to be a family and a fresh start for him...that shut down any chance of that actually happening.

no but fr Ursus’ face when Dea says “it doesn’t keep us safe, Father, it turns us against you” which is like. probably the exact thing he’s afraid of happening if they ever learn the truth.

*strums lyre* it’s a sad tale, it’s a tragedy!

Musical Ursus is fully a good dude who did one Stupid Thing and spent the rest of his life trying to control the damage only to make it Worse and then he died and i’m so! 😭

at the end of the second 30minutes but im keep going

Dea and Gwyn are holding hands so intently im feeling feelings about

harmonyyyyyyyy

ngl though i wonder if given Ursus’ “dear god, you pick your moments” and “who did what to you” if maybe this is something that’s just been festering and hasn’t been verbally brought up until the show’s events

“What do you want?! BLOOD?!” i mean u did script him as saying he wants to kill a man

“I can’t tell you anything you don’t already know” i mean technically that’s true bc technically Gwyn does know, he just doesn’t remember, which is pretty much the same as not knowing but ayyyyyyyyyy

would love to know what Ursus thought was coming when Gwyn said “I can only tell them what I know I am” like

wait no but “I can’t tell you anything you don’t already know” being followed by “I can only tell them what I know I am” idk how to say but oh heck oh heck oh heck heck oh no.

but yeah Ursus’ little glances at Gwyn and then the Turn as Gwyn starts to sing. i just wonder what Ursus is thinking just then

ohhhhhhhhh wait a minute now. stars stripped from the sky. the play on the lyrics from within Ursus’ show. the conversation they just had. is Freak Show (partially?) a vaguepost at Ursus 👀

no but the Wiggle before that next to last “watch me smile” tho

needs the backbend 🍹

hello Puppet Helmet Thing. i’ve developed a fondness for you, you unexplained and kind of weird yet near-infinitely interpretable element of the show.

and cutting here for length uwu

[mochuelovelli]

ASOUE AU? ASOUE AU. Pt 1 (Characters)

Okay so I just posted a little doodle I did for an A Series of Unfortunate Events AU that I had been thinking about ever since I realized that Esmé was obviously Magica's VA (which was 3 days ago so oop). I don't have all the characters figured out right now (mostly bc quite frankly there aren't really enough adults that act so... neglectful towards the kids in ducktales). I'll list the ones I am pretty concrete on VS the ones I'm unsure or ones that I "reimagined" due to not everyone fitting perfectly in this world.

Characters that are Definite:

Glomgold as Count Olaf: Think about it, horrible actor/cosplayer (yes thats what he is). Both obsessed about riches, revenge and are generally incompetent. Really, Olaf is much more wicked in the ASOUE series imo (bc even tho Glomgold wants to kill Scrooge and steal his money. This anger only extends his wards if he wishes to use them against Scrooge and is less keen on the murdering of kids. Notice I said LESS). Not 100% if I want him to be as...well explicit as Olaf can be at times. Especially his characterization in the Bad Beginning if you know what I mean (pst it's child marriage)

Magicia DeSpell as Esmé Squalor: Like I said, this is a no brainer. She has the stage performance of Magicia with a bit of Mark Beaks Mom (forget her name) mixed in. Probably would downplay her love for fashion and replace it with an obsession with the occult. I would also not have her be obsessed with Glomgold, its more in character for Glomgold to be obsessed with her anyhow. It is also possible bc I tend to believe she is a more compelling villian in canon that she might take the place of Glomgold on the Island in "The End". But I also plan for Scrooges Number One Dime to replace the Sugar bowl so, maybe not.

Doofus Drake as Calmanita Splats: Duh, spoiled brat who is very creepy and probably has parents that want them dead? Instead of wanting to sing all the time he mainly wants to wreak things/people. He still definitely dresses up tho into a hodgepodge of things. It always changes and Glomgold is always annoyed by this but he likes him more than Magicia. She definitely wants him dead just like Olaf in the series (she really hates kids).

Duckworth as Larry your waiter: Yeah not much competition for this role. It was either him or Launchpad. Duckworth is too perfect for this role and he honestly will play a better spy than canon Larry. If I ever write it out a lot of the "fight scenes" and anime-esque "explaining how I fooled you" dialogue will definitely be reworked but still present. I will however not keep out the main theme of neglect or ignorance with the adults, they will still fail in that regard as always but will just not literally stand there and tell Olaf "We finally caught you, now let me explain why we are so smart oh no you set something on fire again". I mean...maybe for a Mr. Poe but not the VFD. Or...SHUSH I should say but more on that later (or in another post who knows?)

Scrooge McDuck as Lemony Snicket (sorta): Okay so OBVIOUSLY we can't have our "Lemony" have the hots for the McDuck siblings mom (yes another thing I must explain oh boy). Scrooge will still be gilted in love by, of course Goldie though I am still not 100% if she should play part of the the role of Kit Snicket (again NOT related to Scrooge) or should she be someone else entirely. Scrooge is basically the reason everything is happening in this AU just like the canon Lemony but writes sad letters to Donald and Della as well as Goldie. As you might of well guessed, Scrooge's Fortune is also the riches the McDuck's have.

Fethry Duck as Dr. Monty: Of course a snake lover will become a marine lover in this AU! Also of COURSE Mitzy will play the roles of the incredibly deadly viper AND the great unknown! Fethry and Dr. Monty not being mentioned by their family but also too enthralled with their studies to care all that much (but seriously thats fucked up ducktales). Totally made for this role. As far as setting goes this will be where the siblings will be underwater first but since the series already has plently of aquatic locals I will probably swap out the Lake Lacamose story with Peru or the Galapagos. Speaking of...

Ms. Quackfaster as Aunt Josephine: For narrative purposes it would make sense that Ms. Quackfaster would lose her edge as a brave and bold woman. For what exact reason I am still trying to figure out. Not sure if I still want to keep the "Ike" storyline, maybe she just got really spooked by FOWL. Maybe some creature from the Galapagos ate her leg or something.

Ma Beagle as Dr. Orwell: This particular role was sort of hard for me to cast due to the fact that Dr. Orwell is older and romantically involved with Olaf (at least its sorta there). I really didn't want to give this role to Owlson bc other than she isn't a bad person, she is also way too young. Ma Beagle already has a similar motivation im canon to want to reclaim Duckburg as Beagleburg so the Terrible Mills plot to frame the B for causing a fire in order to have control over the mill is very in line with Ma. I originally wanted the Beagle Boys be working in the Mill but since I am changing the setting to Egypt, I decided to use the people stuck in the pyrimid (idk what they are actually called) and will either use Amulet, Launchpad or Dijin as Cookie

Characters that are Mixed with others:

Huey Duck as the Narrative Role of Violet B.: I mostly imagined(?) the kid characters in a approximation of set characters from the books/series. For this reason, Huey plays the ROLE of Violet Baudelaire so that he can take the "inventor" occupation. I went back and forth on finding who would have Violet's quirk of using an object to help her think. My mind originally went to Webby since she has a bow and I wanted Huey's obsession with the Incomplete History of Secret Organizations to take the place of his JWG. However I reworked it so that Huey's JWG would act as Violet's ribbon with him having to flip through his beat up (and slightly burnt) journal to find a quick solution or just to calm his nerves. Something that applies to all the triplets and twins is that their last names are changed to "McDuck" mostly bc it sounds better that they are later called the "McDuck Murders" instead of the "Duck Murders" as well as Scrooges edited role in the kids lives. He has a mix of Klaus' social awkwardness and habit of talking at length about his special interests to whoever will listen. Huey is also the one who gets hypnotized in the Miserable Mill ep.

Louie Duck as the Narrative Role of Sunny B.: Pretty sure I swapped Louie and Webby for this role in my first post but whatever. I wanted to confusingly change Klaus' role into a "Charmer" or "smooth talker" (obviously still a work in progress) since I felt that Huey in DuckTales canon was always well researched as well a good mechanic and having two characters who pretty much fit the same role was... redundant. I also wanted to really make Webby's Sunny much more inline with her notorious/abnormal fighting abilities. However, I realized that instead of changing Klaus' role I should just change Sunny's characterization since I would have to rework it anyways since she was a baby. I also got the idea from recently rewatching the series and saw Sunny basically trick her way out of being trapped with the Hook handed man (i.e. Fernald). I will instead make Louie's role as what he functionally is in DuckTales (the guy who can talk his way out of anything). He would probably also say his occupation is "Defense Attorney" or something along those lines. He is also the one who gets captured the most but not by much. However while he still has Sunny's sarcasm, he also has Klaus' inherit skeptism and distrust of adults.

Webby Vanderquack as the Narrative Role of Klaus B.: Like I said in Louie's segment, Webby is changed to Klaus or more accurately the "Researcher" of the group. She is often the one who stays up late, researching ways to get out of Glomgold's schemes. Unlike Klaus though, she has more of the optimism of Violet but might not put as much belief into all authority as Huey might. She still has role models that she looks up to but isn't against bending the rules. She also unfortunately takes Violet's role of becoming "Olaf's bride" in the Bad Beginning. In the story she has always lived with the McDucks but didn't take their name and still had Mrs. B (until she was around 10, she was 12ish when the fire happened). However, she is still in the McDuck Will and therefore Glomgold hatches a plan to use her to get the fortune. She also tricks him by signing her name "Vanderduck" or "McDuck" instead of Vanderquack to make the marriage null in void. She is also a mix of Sunny since she is generally the most physically capable out of the children.

Dewey Duck as the Narrative Role as Quigley Quagmire: Okay honestly after a rewatch, I don't exactly know what makes Duncan and Quigley that different from each other. I'm pretty sure Duncan is the Klaus of his siblings but whatever. Dewey mostly just 1/2 of the reveal that two people survived the fire during the Carnival segment (which is changed to an underground wrestling theme for reasons to be explained). I am fairly certain that during the last part of the Village of Fowl Devotees I want Dewey be the one left behind with Webby and Lena that way we can have more time spent with him and Weblena/ Magicia v Lena drama. Dewey's occupation would be "Comedian/Host/Actor" . He also is the one the adults ignore during the first half and will be the subject of Triplet/only child jokes that the Quagmires face.

Gosalyn Mallard as the Narrative Role of Duncan Quagmire: Okay so like, no she isn't related or adopted by the Quagmires

Lena Saberwing as the Narrative Role of Isadora Quagmire: c'mon both these kids like poetry. Literally I can think of no other DuckTales kid that likes that (other than Webby but that was more of her liking Lena's stuff). She will still have her background as Magica's niece and might take some of the role of Fernald where he gets redeemed by betraying Olaf/saving Sunny. I am unsure by what extent though as she isn't going to be a henchperson of Glomgold or Magica. It might be that she is uses morally questionable ways to get what she wants/needs. Maybe she is "good" but has to commit a terrible act similar to how the Baudelaires have to burn down the carnival.

Characters that I am uncertain about or straight up don't have someone in that role:

Violet Saberwing as the Narrative Role of Fiona Widdershins: Like Fiona, Violet was also originally distrusted by a part of the cast (in this AU, it probably be Webby and/or Louie as Huey catches feelings lol). She is also obsessed with the occult not fungus and has to save probably Louie from losing his soul or something (wip). Violet more than any of the main cast of kids will probably act more like her canon self since she is naturally straight forward and booksmart. She probably gets forced to stay with Glomgold until her and Lena can escape again. Also since I didn't want it to be another underwater local and wanted it to relate to DuckTales17 a bit more closely I thought it be better if they were in the sky. Maybe Violet got the Sun chaser or maybe even the Spear of Selene. Maybe instead of going to look for their dads (since they are dead oof) they come back at The End to tell the McDuck Siblings et all that they might of found something...or someone important.

Boyd as the Narrative Role of Friday: This is definitely more of a stretch as really he is only Friday because in role only because I want him at the Island at The End so that he can save the siblings from whatever organic incident happens since he is still an android. I previously thought he could also fit the role of Fernald since he could go through a redemption arc easier due to him sorta going through one in the show. Its not out of the realm of possibility that Glomgold could have reprogrammed him to obey him (he might still do something similar I haven't figured it out 100%).

Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera as the narrative role of Hector: He probably won't faint as much as Hector but he will have to be pushed by the kids to be confident in himself during the Vile Village (which will probably change to a Capital city since I plan to rework FOWL into this). Maybe its similar to a military academy which makes having a set of rules make sense. Its also possible that Fenton escapes with some of the kids in the Sunchaser by the end of this.

Steelbeak as the Narrative Role of Fernald Widdershins: I mainly chose him because Steelbeak and Hookhanded man both most clearly are shown to be sympathic antagonists. They are still functionally villians, much more so than any of the children like Boyd or Lena who, yeah, have done bad things but in one case wasn't given the freewill to decide for himself or was but when she decided to stand up for herself she was literally tortured and had her freedom taken away (more so than in the beginning since. Steelbeak would, like Fernald, be making a choice as an adult man to be apart of a mad man's troop and was harden enough to commit murder if it meant he could impress his boss. But because he is not related to (by blood or otherwise) any protagonist I struggle to know where to put him. I might still have him defect during the end of what would have been the Grim Grotto ep and comes back with the Saberwings at The End. Maybe he brings Gosalyn back after finding her at some point, maybe he dies somewhere towards The End. Not sure.

Gladstone/Ghost of Christmas Past/News Reporter Lady as the Narrative Role of Mr. Poe/Mr. Poes Wife: wow this one is really confusing. My reasoning behind these picks is because The News lady would be a great pick for Mr. Poe's wife or at least a substitute as she has similar motivations in DT17. The biggest set back for her tho is that she has no reason to be on the Baudelaire case (or McDuck case anyways). Ghost of Christmas past is a bit of a stretch since why the fuck would he be in charge of making sure the kids had guardians? I mainly want him just bc of his motivation (or lack thereof) to do his job and being incompetent at it. Gladstone while making some sense that he also would be uncaring about where the kids go is also a stretch given he is a relative and he while he might not care 100% about their whereabouts he wouldn't lose them like Mr. Poe would simply bc he is so damn Lucky. Its possible to work that against him, maybe in a scenerios like where he drops off the kids but gets whisked away because some rando gifts him a boat. Still unsure.

Mrs. Beakley as either the Narrative Role of Jaclyn S (Mr. Poes Secretary/VFD spy)., Olivia C. (Librarian): I want Mrs. B to have a role which fits her being experienced and competent but also met a tragic demise. I might mix the experience of JS with the fate of OC. Poor Webby.

Justice Strauss as ???: I'll be honest, I am stumped with this one. This is a very important role to fill and I can't quite find an adult character that fits the bill of Justice Strauss. Mrs. B is too smart, Launchpad studying law while ridiculous, is something inline with the show but he doesn't have a DT17 motivation similar enough to Strauss where he's desires can be exploited nor has he really want kids in the same sense as Strauss. Drake Mallard is close since he is an actor but having him work with law is a bit of a stretch, I also think that making him somewhat bumbling is an insult to his character but Strauss is tragic since she WANTS to very much be the Baudelaires guardian but fails so much. Maybe in a safer world she could have been, maybe if they were luckier. She loves them so much, but they run away where she can't find them to at least try to be there for them and is left heart broken by the end. Whoever becomes JS is in for a world of hurt and I'm sorry. Goofy could also be a replacement, maybe Max died for more angst 😬.

Goldie or Daisy as the narrative role of Kit Snicket: This kinda gets really fanfic-y as neither of these characters really fit nicely into this role. Goldie definitely has the skill of Kit and her disregard for the rules but the pregnancy thing is... something. Not entirely sure if I actually want her to be pregnant but I also want a Beatrice II type character (of course she would be named Della II) but again very fanfic-y. Daisy I am more comfortable being the one who gets pregnant, she might take Olivias role as the new VFD recruit instead of Kits more seasoned one. All I know is that if either or both outcomes exist they will die also a Dewey Deanumont(?) Character wouldn't be the father it would of course be Donald or Scrooge depending who gets pregnant.

Jacques Snicket as ???: Another mystery for me. Functionally? Maybe Manny could play this role or even Launchpad (he really is just my go to for any character idk about huh?) Whoever it is will die but wont have a romance with the Olivia character(s). Maybe its Goofy lmao.

This is quite long enough, let me know if y'all got any more ideas. I'll edit this when I can since I am tired of writing. Please comment or reblog for suggestions and the like thx u. And please...Look Away while you still can.

[levi-inthesun]

It’s Just You and Me, Baby

Part 1: Baby Shark

Summary: Scott Lang is turned into a baby while the team is trying to figure out time travel. Trouble is, they can't seem to turn him back into an adult. As the only ones w/out any sort of science knowledge past High School, you and Steve have to look after him.

A/n: if this exact story already exists I am so sorry. Part of me feels like I may have read something similar, but I'm not really sure? ALSO, this was meant to be a one and done thing buuuuut suddenly I already have a good chunk of the second part written. Oops.  A/N- I read this after posting annnnd whoops I did not edit this damn thing. SO I am doing it now :)

Warnings: Swearing, a tiny bit of smut near the end (first time writing anything, bear with me), sexual frustration (bc you & steve are competitive asses in a relatively small space).

Steve Rogers x Reader

Steve called out your name over the sound of baby Scott crying. "He won't stop!"

You could hear the desperation in his voice and forced yourself to get up from your nap. Rubbing your groggy eyes, you walked into the common room and saw Steve, tears of his own in his eyes, doing his best to shush his tiny teammate.

"Have you tried singing to him?" You asked, voice flat.

Steve nodded, "That's when he started crying."

"Damnit. Ok, give him here," Steve gently handed you the baby, and he automatically started calming a tiny bit.

"That isn't fair," he grumbled under his breath.

You looked at him incredulously. "You're telling me you wouldn't feel calmer if I, in particular, were holding you?"

Steve blushed slightly, and your heart betrayed you by skipping a beat, or two. Ignoring it to the best of your abilities, you sat down, adjusted Scott so he was sitting on your stomach, your legs keeping his wobbly body propped up, and began singing-

"Baby shark doo doo, doo doo doo doo. Baby shark doo doo, doo doo doo doo. Baby shark doo doo, doo doo doo doo. Baby Shark!"

You kept going with the song, doing the hand motions along with it and soon enough, baby Scott was giggling and clapping.

After a while, Scott was just fine playing with some toys on his blanket on the plush carpeted floor. You turned to Steve and was about to say something when he suddenly stood up, chuckling slightly and moving to fix your hair. It had turned into a bit of a rat's nest during your not so great nap.

"Your hair looks nice," steve teased as he gently ran his fingers thru the knots.

You rolled your eyes, hoping to distract from the blush that was rising at him being so close.

"I think I'm just gonna take a shower, make me coffee?" You asked, stepping back and placing a kiss on Scott's little soft head.

"Sure," he said, smiling softly.

You would have taken your sweet time in the shower, but you knew coffee awaited you, so you were quick. Walking into your bedroom with a towel around your body, you began digging through your dresser. Steve cleared his throat from the doorway and you turned around quickly. Had you not been so surprised your jaw would have dropped.

Somehow, Steve looked like an entire meal despite being so desperate for Scott to stop crying earlier. Then he had looked messy, had vomit stains on his t-shirt, the whole baby-nine-yards. Now, he was in a clean shirt that accentuated his chest and arms, and a pair of jeans that you just knew did wonders for 'America's ass'.

You realized you were staring too long when a smirk grew on Steve's lips and you went to grab the coffee from him, but his hold on it didn't budge, bringing you closer to him.

"You smell nice," he whispered, voice low.

You gulped loudly and attempted to say thanks when you suddenly had the coffee in your hands and he sauntered away. You quickly shut the door and let your head rest on the door.

You had to get him back (get him back, what the hell were you thinking?) And knew exactly what to do.

A few minutes later, you walked out of your room towel-drying your hair and Steve swore his throat closed up right then and there. You were wearing your longline, push up sports bra (you had no idea why push up sports bra were a thing until right then) and a pair of high waisted jeans that sculpted your lower body perfectly. You sat on the couch next to Steve and began braiding your hair back, towel forgotten on the floor (you'd pick it up later).

You watched Steve from the corner of your eye as your back arched slightly, arms up, braiding your hair. You saw his eyes widen and had to almost physically stop yourself from smirking. You got to the point where you could keep braiding your hair by bringing it over your shoulder, and as you continued you looked over at Steve from under your eyelashes and you swear you heard him sigh.

(Maybe this was mean... Nah) your tongue darted out to wet your lips then softly bit your lower lip, looking around and settling into the couch as you finished off your braid. Steve still later there, body turned towards you and you giggled slightly when you realized he was working to control his breathing.

Flicking your braid back over your shoulder you leaned over to him and rubbed your thumb near his lower lip, "You had something there," you whispered, getting up to check on baby Scott, who has somehow perfectly timed his crying.

It had been over a week and they weren't any closer to getting Scott back to normal. By now, you and Steve were sharing a large apartment in the compound because it was just easier.

"How long are you going to keep this game up? I swear one of you should just jump the others bones- should have a long time ago, if you ask me."

Nat complained every time she had the chance, which was often, but she secretly loved having her very own entertainment- the last few years have been incredibly lonely.

"Well, no one asked you," you rolled your eyes as you continued bouncing. Bruce had gotten one of those baby wraps for you and Steve, said it was a late baby shower present. Scott loved it. You could just attach him to you, him facing the world, and you didn't have to physically hold him. "And I think I'm winning," you added, winning at your friend.

"Well no duh!" Nat called out, standing up. "Steve has been pining after you since you first joined the team," she whispered to you. "Put the man out of his misery," she added as she began walking off.

"Whatever, tiny Scott, I'm having fun and I'm winning, I don't care what the cranky lady says," you said as you opened the door to take a walk outside.

"Hey!" Steve called your name, running up to where you were. "You two going on a walk?" He asks, smirk present as you failed at not looking at his shirtless body.

"Yup," you replied.

"Mind if I join?" He asked his finger now in Scott's hand.

"I guess. Are you going to put on a shirt?" You silently cursed at the way your voice ever so slightly shook.

Instead of answering he grabbed the now shut door and you walked out.

The walk had been excruciating. Steve was basically perfect, even offered to take Scott from you but THAT you knew you wouldn't be able to handle. Shirtless Steve holding a baby?

Halfway through, Scott began to scream bloody murder. You stopped at a park bench and took him out of the wrap, checked his diaper, tried to feed him. Everything you could think of.

"Just hold him facing me, ok?" You nodded and Steve stooped down and began fucking singing baby shark, hand motions and all and Scott immediately chilled out.

Back at the compound after Steve put Scott down for a nap, he slunk in the couch right next to you, knees touching.

"I fucking hate that song," he stated, turning to look at you. "I had to watch that stupid fucking video so many times to get the hand motions right, oh my god."

You chuckled, agreeing before turning to him. "God, it's kind of hot when you swear," your voice sultry.

"Oh?" Steve said, his face getting closer to yours.

You could feel his breath hot on your lips when Nat burst in yelling your name.

"It's important. Come on!" She grabbed you by the hand and practically had to drag you out of there. When you were in the elevator, Nat burst out laughing.

"What is so goddamn funny, Natalia?" You asked, incredibly annoyed.

"I was watching-" she started trying to catch her breath, "the-the security cameras," she forced a deep breath thru her lungs, "and couldn't resist. You two have been driving us nuts, serves you right to get cockblocked." By the time she finished her signature smirk was on her lips.

You desperately wanted to be annoyed, but seeing Nat laughing like that- it was like before. Your eyes showed your emotions, and Nat caught it, recognizing what happened. Quickly, however, you were rolling your eyes and getting out of the elevator.

"Your welcome!" She called after you, teasing.

You flipped her the bird and heard her cackle.

Back in what was nicknamed, apartment Baby, Steve was picking up the baby stuff that littered the floor.

"What was that all about?" He asked, throwing another toy in the wicker basket.

You walked up to Steve and hugged him. His surprise faded quickly and he hugged you back just tight enough.

When you pulled away, he saw the tears trying to escape and his features softened.

You pulled him to the couch, and still holding his hand you turned to him.

"Nat was laughing, like, really truly laughing, Steve. It- it was like before when we would all play pranks on each other to blow off steam, and Nat- the goddamn super-spy and assassin would give herself away because she couldn't stop laughing right before the prank was pulled and it just...." you sniffed, and Steve gave your hand a squeeze, "I know we have, at one time or another, mentioned that we have all lost so much, it just, it hadn't hit me as hard as it did when she started laughing..." your voice trailed off for a moment before you found the words you were looking for.

"It hit hard when Buck was suddenly gone, for both of us. He became my best friend here. He grounded me in a way I've never known before. And, and Peter, god that kid has my heart- what I mean is, is that I've dealt with the grief of losing people I love. That pain is normal, constant. What I haven't dealt with is the fact that there are parts of us missing, those of us still here."

You didn't realize you were crying so hard until Steve wiped a tear away and pulled you into his side. You took in a shaky breath and closed your eyes for a minute.

"I, I don't know how to deal with this," you sobbed into his shirt.

You weren't sure how much time had passed, but you stopped crying when you heard Scott begin to cry. You tried to get up, but Steve stopped you, and you heard the song 'baby shark' begin playing in Scott's nursery.

"I got F.R.I.D.A.Y. to play it anytime he starts crying." Steve shrugged.

A small smile appeared on your lips before you shook your head and let out a sigh, pulling away from Steve.

"Whatever, though, right?" You started, and Steve's eyebrows crinkled together in concern. "We are gonna fix it. Everyone will come back and it will be fine. Whatever."

"No," Steve replied and your head turned sharply, almost mad. How dare he not let you be ignorant about feeling your feelings!?

He turned to face you, holding your face in his hands.

"It does matter even if we do succeed. Because even if they come back, there are parts of us that died with them, that we may never get back," Steve's voice was soft yet firm at the same time. Your name came from his lips like a caress to the cheek, "if you don't allow yourself to grieve this loss, just like the loss of our friends," he shook his head slightly, "our family, you are going to lose even more of yourself and I don't think I could bear watching that happen."

Steve placed a kiss on your forehead and the tears began falling again, this time though, you saw tears fall down Steve's cheeks too. So you placed a kiss on his cheek, wrapped your arms around his middle, and cried with him.

It was three weeks of the song baby shark. Three weeks of this stupid competition to see which one of you would get too horny and break. Three weeks of the luxury of being so close to Steve. Three weeks until Bruce could get the time machine working just so, to bring Scott back.

You place baby Scott in the machine gently and placed a kiss on his chubby cheek.

"I'm gonna miss you, you little bastard," you said, stepping back to stand with Steve.

"I think I will too, just a little," Steve stated.

Steve took your hand in his, something that had become extremely comfortable to you both that you didn't even notice.

Then, a few seconds later, Scott was back in his adult form and you were free.

You began packing your thing up from the apartment you were sharing with Steve when he came in.

"What are you doing?" Steve's frustrated voice carried to you from across the room.

"Well, we aren't parents anymore," you shrugged and got back to packing.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y.," Steve said loudly. "Please turn off the security camera in the common rooms of this apartment, this is personal."

"Yes, Captain Rogers," the A.I.'s voice responded. "All cameras in apartment 'Baby' are now off."

Steve muttered a thanks before taking a few quick strides over to you.

"What was that for?" You asked, confused.

Steve looked you up and down and you remembered you were wearing a pair of boy short underwear and a bralette.

"You win," he whispered before taking your lips with his.

He kissed you like there wasn't enough time in the world. Like you were the only person he had ever wanted to kiss. His lips never left yours, his hands roaming your uncovered skin, pushing you back until your back met the wall and a moan left your lips.

Steve pulled back suddenly and you whimpered slightly at the loss. You looked in his eyes and swore he looked like he would eat you-

"God I could eat you up," he growled and next thing you knew, he had thrown you over your shoulder and you shrieked.

Steve only faltered when 'Baby Shark' began to play over the speakers. Frustrated (in more ways than one, you thought) Steve set you down on the couch and you rubbed your hands over your face. Just as Steve was about to tell F.R.I.D.A.Y. to stop, Scott burst into the room.

"You know, I weirdly love this song," he said smiling before leaving just as quickly as he had come in.

Once Steve had gotten the A.I. to turn it off and told it the song was no longer needed, Steve sat down next to you, his hand resting on your thigh.

"What a mood killer," you finally said and to both of your surprise, Steve burst out laughing.

You watched, confused, as his eyes crinkled and his hand went up and grabbed his chest and his entire body shook. When he finally calmed down, he turned to you and recognized the emotions playing across your face from earlier. His face began to show concern when smiled and moved so you were on your knees, straddling Steve's legs and you cupped his cheeks in your hands so that he had to look up at you.

"There you are," you said softly and a tear trickled down his cheek from the sudden mix of emotions moving from joy to a sudden deep sadness. You kissed the tears falling before placing a kiss on his forehead, another on his nose, one on his jaw, then placing a kiss on his cheek.

You pulled back, just enough to see Steve's face and you smiled. Steve gave you a soft smile before placing a kiss just as soft on your lips, then another and soon, he was kissing you somehow just as thoroughly as before, however, this time, he was taking his time. You felt goosebumps as his hands smoothed over your ribs, down to your hips where his hands rested, guiding you to sit in his lap. Your own hands moved from gripping the back of his head, one to stay, fingers threaded through his grown-out hair, the other gliding down his neck, over his impressive chest muscles, then back around to hold yourself as close to him as you could. Steve scooted forward on the couch and you let your legs wrap around his hips before he stood up, his hands pressing firmly into your hips and ass. 

He began placing open mouth kisses on your neck, biting down softly.

“Your room or mine?” you breathed and he chuckled slightly, walking into whichever room was closest and kicking the door shut with his foot.

[writersblockpeter]

tiktok famous (hc) - part four | p.p.

summary: episode four of tiktoks with y/n and peter ayooooo

warnings: cussing. what's new LOL

+ + +

- BACK AGAIN

- these are the imagines that i can pretty much just pump out because the plot line is like already layed out for me

- in conclusion i like writing these lol

- okay SO

THESE ARE ALL THE PEOPLE WHO GAVE IDEAS::: spideybparker starbabez mrose12623 elliedevotee lilcassipuff buckybigbutt

THANK U! <3

^^ if you've changed your username i'm so sorry whenever i get requests i write down the username and it's lowkey difficult to track who is who and if they've changed it ahhhhh

- aight

- lets get into it

- yuhhhhhh get into itttttttttt

- i'm gonna be saying yuh get into it so much in this imagine i apologize in advance

- like it's kinda bad

- oops

- so y'all know those audios that are like the fake calls

- it's like that man's voice he's like "hey whassup shorty your man around?"

- THAT ONE

- so naturally

- y'all know where this is going

- you and pete are just chilling (this is how all of them start. i feel like a broken record. help)

- you're like FUCK IT LET'S SEE WHAT HAPPENS

- you start recording

hey whassup shorty

- peter goes into FIGHT OR FLIGHT MODE

- he's just playing video games (fortnite aye) but the  S E C O N D  HE HEARS THAT RANDOM MAN'S VOICE

- fuckin RIPS OFF THE HEADSET

- EYEBROWS FURROWED AS HE LOOKS AT YOU HE'S LIKE

- huh wHAT NOW

- ????!!!!!!!!!!

- you fail at keeping a straight face cause the fucking AUDIO

your man around?

- a wheeze FLIES out of you mouth as peter SHOOTS UP FROM HIS CHAIR

- big "FUCK NO!" energy

- mans practically jumps on top of you

- he's like angry and confused at first but then he sees how hard you're laughing and just gets even more confused

"what was that?"

- his voice is all high cause it does that in tense situations

- puppy face is loud n clear!

- babey

- meanwhile you can't catch your breath for SHIT

- so you show him the video as you continue to literally die

- as soon as he realizes he just melts

- he's like laying on top of you and buries his face in the crook of your neck before bursting out into laughter and holding you tighter

"you can't do that!"

- god me thinking about that happening irl is giving me BUTTERFLIES

- sexc

- okay this one is another fake phone call

- just gonna jump into it it's pretty much the same situation

- in this one you two are over 18 btw

- for ~legal reasons~

- the audio starts playing with the ringtone and peter just glances over

- he's too busy watching b99

- naturally

hey this is dr. alvarez! we received your pregnancy test results

- WHAT

- peter has never jumped so hard in his LIFE

- tv is PAUSED even captain holt has the shocked expression (who am i kidding it's holt his facial expression is as dead as a brick)

- 🅱eter literally yells

"WHAT"

- audio keeps going

is there a time next week you could come in and talk?

"y/n what"

- he runs over to you and you bust out laughing as he looks at your phone and realizes it's a tiktok

- an annoyed smile pulls at his lips and he groans and wraps his arms around you

"you had me there for a second"

- let's just say peter parker had family on his mind a LOT more since then

- wink wink

- k SO

- queso

- haha

- anyways

- y'all know that one sound

pussy so good i could save that shit for later

- welcome to straight tiktok!

- so y'all just chillin on his bed as best friends do

- on ur phones and shit

- and peter parker is a basic bitch so he has the led lights

- which i want SO BAD btw ugh my room would be such a vibe

- update i'm editing this and i just ordered some ayooooo

- anyways they're currently blue so like

- innocent

- chill

- but THEN

- the audio starts playing from peter's phone

pussy so good-

- you gAsp as the lights turn red

- ur like

- holy shit i didn't know parker could do that

- next thing you know peter's hand is on your chin/jaw (just about ur neck OOPS)

- his mouth is practically ON your ear

- you see him holding his arm out in front of you recording and you can't help but laugh

- but DAMN

his jawline is out and everything and he's fucking SMIRKINGGGG as he whispers the lyrics into your ear

- BUTTAFLIESSSSSSSSSSSSS

- big mattia vibes (btw that man is NOT attractive i'm sorry)

- moving on

- i know i've written one of the ones where you kiss your best friend

- but time to turn the tables

- oh how the turn tables

- time for y/n to be a bad bitch cause WE MAKING THE FIRST MOVE!!

- hell yea!

- so it's late right

- like late late

- at least midnight (sleep schedule is MESSED from quarantine though so honestly late rn is like 2 or 3 in the morning yikes)

- and ur hella bored

- on tiktok

- the fuck else do you expect?

- and you start doing the thing where you start thinking about getting up and doing something and you think about it so much that you physically can NOT sit there any longer and must Move or Die

- i KNOW i am not the only one

- so that happens

- and you're like FUCK IT

- so you walk out of your room and into peter's next door

- oh to live at avengers headquarters and live next to peter parker

- you just fucking stroll in

- peter's fat ass just goes "hey thanks for knocking"

- meanwhile you can't even stand to look at him because you're afraid that if you do all of your confidence will VANISH

- so you set up the camera and start recording

- at this point peter's sitting up and just watching you cause he's so confused

- and

- (HERE WE GO)

- it takes everything in you not to RUN OUT

- but you walk over to him

- wrap a hand around his neck

- tilt your head and lean down

- when peter realizes what's going on he's like OH MY GOD

- fight or flight response HITS except its JUST FLIGHT

- HIS BODY CHOSE FLIGHT

- he fucking REELS back

- can't even process that his best friend and crush since EVER just tried to kiss him

- sdfjksdkfjsdfg

- DKJFNHSKDFNSLA

- you're like fuck! so you turn to start  r u n n i n g   a w a y

- but then his hands wrap around your waist

- you FLY backwards and laugh as the two of you flop into the bed

- and he kisses you

- mwah ha ha haaaaaa

- don't ask why the evil laugh just accept it

- i am tired yes it is only 8:43pm i am still tired

- NEXTTTTTTT

- so y'all know those povs where it's like you find out your soulmate's first words on your bday

- well

- ha

- you and peter are bored because ~ q u a r a n t i n e ~

- chilling at headquarters

- bored in da house and i'm in da house bored

- and peter's like "imma make a pov!"

- okay!

- so i'm just gonna lay it out for you HERE WE GO

- he has the generic countdown thing (text boxes saying 3...2..1! you know the deal) and then he looks at his wrist and it says "hey spider-boy!" and he gets so flustered - next clip it's him running into "you" (obviously you're not actually in it but he does the text box thingy) - you're asking about what it says and try to get a peek but he pulls away - next clip it's right before your bday - and then you find out your quote and it says "it's spider-MAN! cause i'm a man!" - and peter is just looking anxiously/happily at the camera

- PERIOD

- i hope that was a good visual idk i tried

- and uhhhh yeah that one stays in the drafts bc he doesn't wanna expose himself

- moving right along by the way it's raining rn and i'm listening to my kind of woman by mac demarco and UGH this song makes me so...... jkdfhsdk

- OKAY THIS IS ANOTHER STRAIGHT TIKTOK ONE

- but it's cute so

- fuck it

- y'all know it

i wanna put you in seven positions for seventy minutes babe

- mischievous as ✨hell✨

- oh my god i got another idea okay i'm writing that after this one

- anyways!

- you and peter are chilling

- note: i yell at myself every time i write that because the AMOUNT OF THESE THAT START THIS WAY GOD

- he's watching netflix or something idk

- fyi outer banks is overrated sorry not sorry

- yell at me if u want but

- it's riverdale for vsco girls

- you set up the camera and start recording

- audio starts playing and you climb into his lap and he's like WOAH

- you like put your hands on his cheeks/jaws lol and you start mouthing the lyrics

- but the THING IS (pt 1)

- homeboy catches on pretty quick

- and

- fuck

- he starts MOUTHING THE LYRICS BACK

- you deadass have to take a second and reel back to catch your breathe

- but the THING IS (pt 2)

- HE'S GOTTEN ALL INTO IT

- SO HE PULLS YOU BACK IN

- UR FUCKIN FOREHEADS ARE TOUCHING AND YOU BOTH JUST START REALLY AGGRESSIVELY MOUTHING THE LYRICS

- kinda hot doe

- something for u to think about at night

:)

- hey bitch this is a reminder to write about the fairy comments

- thanks past me

- SO

- hmm lemme think

- okay

- so

- okay yes

- so peter-man posts a tiktok of him doing flips n stuff

- like very generic white boy look at me doing things

- and it's very impressive

- but

- you decide to just GO AT IT IN THE COMMENTS

- LIKE TOTALLY ANNIHILATE HIM

- i'm just gonna write some examples

- fuck me for writing this on a computer finding all these emojis on here is very difficult

- oh well

- here we go:

- oh my god a squirrel just climbed up the tree in my front yard and it caught me so off guard my heart skipped a beat

- wait okay irrelevant

- for real this time here we go:

you ate that 💕🧚‍♀️⚡🌟next time make it me instead 💖🧚‍♀️✨ omg peter you came on my fyp 🧚‍♀️💖✨but make it on me next 🧚‍♀️💕✨🦋 a necklace 💕✨🧚‍♀️⚡but make it your hands ✨💖🦋😌

- and so on

- lets just say when peter saw those

- his face got SO RED

- TOOK HIM AT LEAST TEN MINUTES TO COMPOSE HIMSELF

- AND THEN HE RAN INTO YOUR ROOM

"y/n what is this"

"uh fairy comments"

"but they're so-"

- you just stare at him and like

- shrug

- but knowingly

- HAHA OKAY NEXT ONE

- okay i took a break to go sit in the rain and eat hawaiian rolls 10/10 experience def go do that next time it rains

- i think i wrote one like this but with the supalonely dance

- so this time

- we doing the savage dance

- first of all that song is a BANGER

- second, the dance is SO FUN

- so it's the same thing as last time

- you set up the camera but have it face peter instead of u sneaky sneaky

- and then u start doing the dance of course

- and obv peter is like yuhhhhhhhhh get into itttttttttt

- clapping along and smiling and whooping

- supportive bby

- but THEN

- YOU THROW IT BACK

- HOMEBOY DIDN'T EVEN SEE IT COMING

- HALF OF HIM IS LIKE OH FUCK I SHOULD'VE STOPPED HER

- OTHER HALF IS SAYING holy shit !

- once you finish you look at peter and he's just like 👁👄👁

- lol

- anyways

- you watch that video MULTIPLE TIMES afterwards

- okay in this one you and pete are 18+ because

- we like being legal 😌✋

- but it's one of those where you walk out in front of your boyfriend naked

- so peter just got home from patrol and climbs in through the window of y'alls shared apartment

- oh to live in an nyc apartment with peter parker UGH

"y/n? i'm home babe"

- the camera is shaking because you're laughing so hard and kinda nervy

- but you walk out of y'alls room and peter just turns to you

- nearly drops his fucking mask

- he's shocked for a second before he gets such a big smile on his face and throws you over his shoulder

- hehe

- okay last one i love this one sm this tiktok came up on my fyp and i immediately though THIS IS Y/N AND PETER

here it be::

https://www.tiktok.com/@wizqueifa_/video/6826567570116611333

god i hope that works and y'all can watch it lmk if u can't like if the link doesn't work or anything

- okay basically it's that tiktok but u and peter

- like that video EXACTLY everything about it is perfect

- that's it lol

- and i recommend watching her other tiktoks with her boyfriend bc their relationship is adorable and it's totally y/n and peter

- okay i think (hope to god) i've written all the ones that y'all requested

- i think i might only do just one more part of these???? idk i feel like if i just keep going on with them (cause obv trends keep coming) half this book would just be the tiktoks lol

- ANYWAYS

- peace out homies i love each and every one of you

- be kind to urself and try to be productive

- i'm gonna go try and write some more so

- yes

- MWAH <3

+ + +

hi i hope you guys are doing well

ily

[startofamoment]

to all the WIPs i’ve loved before

rules: post your favorite parts of 3-5 fics that have been sitting abandoned in your drafts for ages. (for extra shame, throw in when you last worked on each thing.) tag 5 other writers to reflect on their life choices. 

a pen pals au of sorts in which jake and amy share a desk and communicate via post-it notes (last edited: december 2017)

Amy is going to murder her deskmate.

The literal trash heap that greeted her last Monday was one thing, the sticky orange soda stain from last month was another thing, but this – this blatant disregard of property and boundaries and the sanctity of office supplies – is the Last Straw.

Spread out across her entire desk is a good fourth of the Post-it notes from the brand new assorted set she got from her brother Tony. They’re all arranged to look like various Star Wars icons, and a few of them are filled in with marker for apparent color correction. It’s horrifying.

Grumbling, she begins taking apart Post-It Yoda, keeping the salvageable pieces in a stack and throwing out the rest. When she’s cleared her entire table, she grabs her favorite pen and a fresh sheet then writes:

Hi, Please refrain from wasting my Post-its in the future. Thank you. - Det. Amy Santiago

She stares at it for a moment and decides, since this is probably the only passive aggressive note she’s going to write her deskmate, she might as well add:

PS: I would appreciate it if you would leave our desk clean at the end of your weekend shifts.

After checking it over once more, she places it in the center of her desk, ready to be read the following Saturday.

a dianetti cake shop au in which rosa owns and runs a store called arlo’s (last edited: june 2017)

Gina takes a moment to look over some of the cakes on display before clearing her throat and leaning over the counter. “’Scuse me, can you help me get a custom cake order started?”

“Sure.” The baker wipes her hands on a dish towel before grabbing a small notebook and pen from one of her pockets. “What’s the occasion?”

“Some old geezer’s leaving our precinct to enjoy retired life, or something like that.”

“Retirement party? Cool. Tell me about this guy.”

“Oh, sweetie, I don’t know or care about him. I’m just here cause my boss told me to order a cake.”

A smirk forms on the baker’s lips. “Ha. Do you wanna just do a standard cake order then? I usually do the custom cakes for more personalized, special events.”

“That’s probably smart. Which one of your standard cakes say: ‘Congrats on being old and rich enough to never work another day in your life, but sorry you’re almost dead’?”

She snickers. “I don’t know about that first part, but how ‘bout an angel food cake as a ‘hope you go to heaven when you die’ sort of thing?”

Gina grins and fishes through her purse for her wallet. “Oh, you should know my expectations on this cake are out of this world high. I’m only here because Yelp told me you’re the Beyonce of baking.” (Actually, she’s here because at least three reviews claimed the baker-slash-owner was “terrifying” and “gorgeous.” – They were right, on both accounts.)

a sequel to i could listen to you all day // the “after ever after” story in which jake and amy navigate their first year together as soulmates (last edited: march 2017)

Jake’s phone buzzed on his desk, breaking him out of his happy daydream. He picked it up and opened a new message from Gina.

“god, quit making heart eyes at the new girl!! your conscience would be v disappointed, kiddo.”

Gina, who had been watching him like a hawk from her desk, expected him to get all flustered and to text or yell back something overly defensive. She raised a single eyebrow when his face instead broke into a goofy grin and he straight up giggled.

Across from him, Amy looked up from her case files. “What’s so funny?”

He shook his head and mumbled something about memes and the internet.

She rolled her eyes, but the corners of her lips curled up into a smile. After he redirected his attention to his computer screen, her expression morphed into the same openly adoring look he had on his face the entire morning.

And then it all clicked.

If Gina had stopped to think about it, she would have recognized the new disappointment she felt in both herself (for taking this long to put two and two together) and her childhood best friend (for not keeping her in the loop). As she had not stopped to process anything, she instead yelled across the bullpen: “OH MY GOD. JAKE AND AMY ARE SOULMATES!”

All work stopped, and everyone fell silent. For a good minute, all that could be heard was the faint snoring from Captain McGintley’s office.

“Gina,” Rosa half-snarled, half-whispered. “You can’t just say that.”

“Oops, my b. Y’all know I have no conscience now so…” She giggled, winked at the leather-clad detective, and went back to her game of Kwazy Cupcakes.

Jake let out an awkward laugh. “Well, uh, that was -”

Out of nowhere, Charles appeared right in front of their desks. “Is it true, Jakey? Was Amy the voice in your head all this time?”

“I -” He glanced at Amy for help.

She bit her lip and shrugged.

This wasn’t at all how he envisioned making the announcement, but there was no use denying it. Still looking straight at her, his face softened into a smile. “Yeah… We’re soulmates.”

Charles squealed loudly. “You said the S word! Does that mean it’s official?” He gasped. “Have you said ‘I love you’? Have you met each other’s parents? When’s the wedding? What are you naming your first child?”

pretty much a crack fic inspired by the media’s post-olympics obsession with tessa and scott // my spin on a vm au bc i still refuse to write jake and amy as ice dancers (last edited: may 2018)

Like many of the other bizarre situations he’s found himself in, this all started with Gina. Over the last year or so, she’d been posting random photos and videos of all of them at the precinct. (“I’m devoting my energy to my new project, Ginazon,” she’d declared to the entire bullpen. “It’s a one-stop online portal for my legions of followers. I’m just giving the people what they want!”) Given that this was Gina of all people, Jake wasn’t at all surprised to find out that each post garnered hundreds of likes, but he’d never bothered to venture into the comments section. He’d never known about the apparent niche following that had formed, the group of fans – for lack of a better word – waiting with bated breath for him and Amy to get together.

Charles had only spurred them on, what with all the various Easter eggs on his culinary blog. (“This place has everything,” he’d written once. “My co-workers Jake and Amy even gave it their stamp of approval after they’d shared a quick lunch there before a long stakeout. Make sure to ask for the winter salsa; it’s wonderful!”) He’d sworn that none of it was intentional and that he would never do anything to sell them out, but everything he’d written had still been catalogued and analyzed by the pseudo-experts of the fandom. At this point, Jake’s main regret is not reading Charles’ weekly email blasts.

Their downfall – or rise to viral glory – came when someone from the so-called G-Hive happened to be in just the right place at just the right time, catching their (second) completely-platonic, spur-of-the-moment, done-in-the-name-of-justice kiss on camera. By the next morning, “Undercover Cops Lock Lips Before Locking Up Wanted Criminal” had been viewed on YouTube over a million times.

With everything about the entire situation already being so weird, they’d decided to just ignore their newfound fame in the same way they’d pretended the kisses never happened. (“We’re a great team. We work great together. Nothing should mess that up,” he’d said, repeating nearly his exact words from the night before.)

Evidently, there was no escaping this though. A formal press conference was set up, which wasn’t too out of the ordinary for cases that caught the general public’s attention, except they’d ended up having to say more about their dating lives than the investigation or arrest. He can still feel his heart lurching in his chest at the first relationship-related question, still hear Amy loudly stammering out some vague answer about being “very professional.”

a smutty soulmate au in which jake and amy unknowingly share dreams every now and then (last edited: november 2017)

At this moment in time, Amy Santiago is undeniably, incomparably, drop dead gorgeous.

More specifically: she’s in the hot red dress Kylie convinced her to buy on their last post-trivia night celebratory shopping spree; she’s wearing a matching killer shade of lipstick picked out by her fashion-forward, shockingly sexual 13-year-old niece; and she’s got her hair swept into that one elegant yet fun side ponytail that caught her eye in a magazine a few weeks back.

Normally, she’d be proud of herself for managing to pull off such a look, except–

It’s been a good several hours since she tossed her dress into the hamper, wiped the makeup off her face, and tugged the elastic tie from her hair. She’d buried her head into her pillow and wheeze-cried herself to sleep shortly after changing into her pajamas, so overwhelmed with shame and disappointment over the night’s party-gone-wrong.

The thick haze shrouding her current surroundings tells her she’s in another one of her soulmate’s dreams, which helps a tiny bit in explaining her current appearance but really opens up more questions than answers.

tagging: @santiagoswagger​ @three-drink-amy​ @do-me-decimalsystem​ @arnie-santiago​ @sergeant-santiago

for the record, this was inspired by @disruptedvice​ and @elsaclack​’s responses [x,x] to the writing meme!! i thought it was super clever of them to feature little snippets from various works and felt this would be a good way to give unfinished/abandoned fics some love!