#quote from a convo I had recently (changed a little)

[i-have-dots-in-my-brain]

Astarion: *shaking Gale awake at 3am*

Astarion: Time is ever marching forward and your mortal days are running out. Every second that goes by is a second lost.

Gale: …should I be worried?

Astarion: time is an fucking illusion, Darling, the only thing truly real is death.

Gale: go back to bed.

Astarion: what truly comes after death?

Gale: …I’m not emotionally or mentally stable enough for this, go ask Withers.

[destinyc1020]

Hi 👋🏽 lurker here. I love your page but honestly feel too grown to comment on tumblr most of the time 😂

just wanted to chime in to say the biracial/black women convo is important and I really appreciate your perspective. I’m around Zendaya’s age, (slightly) older and I’m also a (biracial) light skinned black woman. Same foundation shade as Zendaya actually 😂. I can tell you this discourse was not a thing growing up. We were black, considered black by society, etc. it wasn’t until the past 5 years that I’ve seen people feel the need to distinguish us as “biracials” and honestly it has been a little hurtful and neglects our experiences as biracial black people. Yes we have privilege, absolutely. Now that I live in a city, I feel that more readily. I was also raised around a lot of white people so I can adapt fluidly in white spaces, which has been immensely helpful in my career. But all grass isn’t always greener on the other side, if that makes sense.

For example, I grew up in a rural sundown town. Guess what? I was the only black person many of them had ever seen, and on top of that being biracial made me, and I quote, an “abomination”. Can’t tell you how many times I heard that growing up. And I imagine even in hollywood there are remnants of some of that (less harsh) sentiment there. Is Zendaya privileged and does she have access to more roles because she’s lighter? Yes. Is she still probably fighting off “stereotypical” castings, being met with executives who say “a black star won’t make us money in China/Korea/europe/whatever”, is she offered less than her white counterparts, probably also yes. I think it’s important that we can acknowledge that Zendaya (and light skinned black people) is more privileged but I get so salty when I see people try to strip her of her identity or overly criticize her because she’s “not black enough”. I feel like the discourse around biracial people in particular has been on fire in recent years. I can understand the frustration people feel with society around light skinned folks and I absolutely admit that some light skinned folks abuse their privilege or don’t give back, but the discourse is really stripping us of our identity as BLACK people. I’m a black woman, society sees me as such and I am PROUD to be a black woman. Having one white parent doesn’t erase that from my identity.

hopefully people don’t take this the wrong way, but thanks again for your take. Love your blog!

First off, thank you so much for your sweet and kind words about my blog Anon. 🥰 I appreciate it!

I also wanted to say thank you so much for providing your views and your input as a biracial black woman. As a monoracial black woman myself, I can't personally know first-hand how it feels or what biracial black women experience in this country. It's nice to hear the "other side of the coin" for a change.

You and I are probably around the same age, and you're right, growing up there wasn't such a huge demarcation line btwn who is "black" and who is "biracial". Back then, everyone was just considered "black" if you have "one drop" of black blood lol. 😂 But over the past few years or so, there's really been a strong desire for some to classify. I get it... I think biracial black women (especially) do get a bit more favorable treatment in society and people tend to treat them differently, and they're deemed more "beautiful", etc. Not always, but a lot of times the underlying current is there, and it can be frustrating for those of us who are monoracial black to constantly see society uplifting ONE type of beauty over the other. I can see why some want to "clarify" or put certain people in a box.

I think everyone's experiences might be unique just simply due to their skin tone, or even how someone looks, attractiveness levels, size, region of the country they're living in, etc. So, there are a LOT of factors, so I totally get it.

With that said, I totally agree that while it is definitely frustrating to see certain ones in the "Black Community" being given opportunities more than others, at the same time, we really don't know what some of these "lighter-skinned" actresses have had to endure, what they're being told, or how they can be made to feel like an "other" or a "token" for some of them. 🤷🏾‍♀️

My main gripe with Hollywood is that it seems as though monoracial YOUNG black women are constantly being ignored in the industry. 😔 Growing up, I used to at least be able to name some popular monoracial black women who were famous/popular. We at least had Keke, isn't Raven black? lol..... But now days?? It's very hard to even see monoracial black women (young) who are given lead roles in mainstream films.... We're RARELY playing the lead, or even the love interest. 🥴

A lot of roles meant for "black women" are going to biracials lol. Again, I'm not mad (I love to see a fellow woc getting some shine), but it would just be nice to see some black women onscreen who look more like ME, and who are around my age. Yea, it's nice seeing Lupita Nyong'o (for example), or Angela Bassett (who I LOVE!), Kiki Layne, Janelle Monet, etc.... but every now and then, it would just be nice to see some younger monoracial black women who look like myself on the major screen again. 😔 Anyway, let me stop rambling....

[sugoi-writes]

♥️♣️♦️♠️♥️ thank you!

113. What was your childhood nickname?

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

127. What makes you happy?

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

137. How tall are you?

140. Summer or Winter?

145. Tea or Coffee?

146. Was today a good day?

148. What’s your favourite quote?

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

Awww, Anonie!!! Thank you! 💋 I've got you!

Childhood Nicknames-

Most notably, my mom would always call me 'Sweetpea' (very Southern thing, I know), meanwhile my Step Dad would always call me 'Kiddo' (which rubbed off on me now... FML)

Legitimate nicknames were hard to come by, as it were! My weeb friends would call me 'Keshi', which is a so-so pronunciation. (More accurately, Kei-shi, which my friend @hazelfoureyes pointed out, if I remember correctly)

Other noteworthy things that came from Bastardizing my Maiden Last name (which is Dice... Usually it's via Mispelling--)

-Diez

-Dice-y

-D*ke(A SLUR? IN EARLY 2010s? More likely than you think)

-Dick

Most people aren't very creative when it came to my name;;; these days, my wives call me Danny-Boy, which fills my heart with joy ❤️

Can I keep white shoes clean?

HARDLY... I can barely keep my multicolored Crocs clean. Feet are gross. I do what I can, but most days I'm too lazy with my shoes. A little dust adds ✨Character✨

What Makes Me Happy?

Oh, a good number of things!

-My legal Wife, Robin, for one... But mostly when she's not making her horrendous Dad-Jokes. 💀 Quality time with her is rare and loved.

-My HDC Coven, featuring Hazel, Minky, Syn, and someone secret (SHE'S MINE, YOU CANT HAVE HER). Quality time with them also brings me joy and peace.

-Stability (weird answer, I know). But being on the ✨Spectrum✨, I resist change heavily. So Stability in all aspects of life brings me the MOST happiness/relief. Especially Financial Stability (that can get dicey)

-Dabbling in my hobbies! Writing, Crochet, Doodling, and as of recently: Fashion/Makeup. I love exploring my gender through those mediums❤️

-Haunted Attractions/Haunt Acting- Being a Haunt Actor for the past 7 or so years gives me the most joy I can get while not being paid for it. I love dressing up, I love teaching people how to scare. And dare I say, I'm pretty good at it 🔥💀 I've been an actor manager at a Volunteer Haunt for 3 years, fun fact! 💀❤️

There's... A LOT of things that can bring me joy. I just have to remind myself sometimes!!!

Who is the last person you've had a deep convo with?

DEFINITELY my HDC Coven. We accidentally stumble into deep, insightful topics... Or, Trauma Stories (which I affectionately call ✨Lore✨). I'm sure you good folks will hear more about my lore one way or another!

Favorite Lyrics rn?

*Looks at Sleep Token's Discography* I-- ...THIS SONG SPECIFICALLY. ALL OF IT. IT DOES THINGS TO ME--

But, here is some of my favorites (it's like half of the song, don't judge. You get my favorite song now, to boot:)

"Won't you come and dance in the dark with me

Show me what you are, I am desperate to know

Nobody better than the perfect enemy

Digital demons make the night feel heavenly

Make it real

'Cause anything's better than the way I feel right now (THIS ONE FR FR)

Dumbest lie I ever told?

I am... WAS NOT... A smart child. I got my first hickey early on in middle school (SCANDALOUS, I KNOW)... And I told everyone a myriad of excuses. Fell and bruised my neck on a door knob, burned myself with a curling iron (I have naturally wavy hair), my sister threw hot food at me and burned me... Just... YEAH. But I hate to say I am a MUCH better liar now! 😂💀

How tall am I?

Begrudgingly, I am a mere 5"3, but in my mind's eye, I'm 6'2. Like my dear sweet wifey. ❤️ (#shortking)

Summer or Winter?

NEITHER, F A L L. But if I had to choose, Summer, because the town is so much more lively/has things to do during that time. ❤️

Tea or Coffee?

If you were to ask me a month ago, I would have said neither. But Coffee has grown a great deal on me... (Iced Coffee or Cold Brew preferred, hehe)

Was today a good day?

Could have been better, could have been worse! I DoorDashed most of my day and made some money! I got to wake up next to my Queen! And, hopefully, I get to talk to my Coven and write a little today. It wasn't perfect, but it was nice ❤️ Thank you for asking!

What's your favorite quote?

HONESTLYYYYY, the one I've been feeling most (as a Enby stuck in Florida with my Transitioning partner), I think of what Gerard Way screamed at a recent concert...

"In the face of extermination, say FUCK YOU!!!" (Or something similar)

I've been trying to live as my authentic self, while my wife gets the help and treatment she needs first. Together, we will be safe and we will love our best lives, unashamed. I also turned this quote into a sticker and sold it at art markets for a while (but sadly, living in Florida, it's hard to push Trans-Positive things...) SIGH...

But otherwise, a good back up is "History is doomed to repeat itself unless we learn from it". (Or something similar).And I Live. By. That.

Do you believe in ghosts?

As funny as this sounds (from a haunt actor), no! Not at all! I believe there's always an explanation or reason for the weird happenings people run into... But not ghosts themselves, no.

I am Superstitious in nature, but not supernaturally inclined... If that makes any sense? ANYWAY--

Hope this isn't too long of a ramble! I will try to post a sneak peak of something I'm working on (and tbh, the feedback is probably needed)

If you made it this far, thanks for reading and learning more about your boy, Sugoi! ✨❤️

[spurious-result]

for the MGS ask game (oooh these are all so cool but I'll try to restrain myself ... a little): 3, 8, 15, 18, 27, 40, 42, 45

It is a very juicy list, lol!  These are very nice choices. :)

3. Is there anything you would change about the plot?

AH... I have so many mixed feelings about this.  Probably the single biggest aspect of the plot that I wish had been different, from a purely selfish emotional standpoint, is the ending of mgs4.  But would I actually want to change it, if I could?  Yikes.  Hard to say.

I remember playing through 4 for the first time, and hoping SO HARD that they were going to find some kind of miraculous solution to save Snake because that entire game is, like, one big gut punch.  But watching the narrative arc unfold, it became increasingly clear that a surprise “happy ending” like that would ultimately feel cheap, and unearned.  That tension between what I *wanted* to happen, and what I knew made sense for the story as written.  

(I have SO MANY THOUGHTS about the mgs4 ending in general, but I will try hard to rein them in here since they’re not really all that relevant to the question here.  Ha.  Self control is hard!)

So, yeah.  Ultimately, I think things played out in a way that felt right.  BUT, DAMN.

8: Favourite little detail in a game?

I have lots of these that I love!  For this round, I’m going to say - the way your cardboard box starts to look increasingly battered if you’ve been shot at while wearing it.  Looking a bit crumpled, flaps falling off, etc.  And just the way you look when you’re running around in it, in general.  LONG LIVE THE BOX.

15: Quotes you think about most often?

Another good one, that I’m happy to give multiple answers for!  I’m quite partial to the exchange that Snake and Otacon have over Sniper Wolf’s body, as Snake is walking away through the snow:

“What was she fighting for?  What am I fighting for?  What are you fighting for?”

And Snake’s answer: “If we make it through this, I’ll tell you.”

It’s a good character moment between the two of them, and a bit of insight into what’s driving them both at that point in the story.

18: Most wtf scene?

Another wonderful moment from mgs2... God, I wish I could go back and play that whole game again for the first time.  So much great stuff.

Raiden being freed from the torture table in Arsenal Gear, and getting control again as the player while he’s... completely naked.  Running around with his hands over his junk.  And then you proceed to play like this for a fair amount of time before you finally get your clothes back - because why the fuck not, I guess??

NAKED CARTWHEELS, people.  You can’t make this shit up.

27: Underrated character?

Hmm... I’m going to go with maybe Strangelove, here??  I like her a lot, and I think it’s interesting to think about how different Hal’s life might have been if she had lived.  I do feel like she gets a fair amount of love in fandom considering that she’s a relatively minor character, but I wish she could have had a bigger role on-screen in the series.

40: Do you own any merchandise?

Ha - I do indeed!  I will sometimes get mgs stuff from my family for birthday/Christmas gifts, etc.  So I own a couple of T-shirts, a couple of the Figma action figures (which are pretty fantastic), and the Otasune plushie set that just came out recently.

42: Most memorable codec call?

Can I award this to all of Otacon’s “save frequency” proverbs in the mgs2 tanker chapter, collectively??  This was another thing that sold me on the series, right off the bat.  Those convos are pure gold.

45: Do you want another game or should the series be left alone?

Oh, that’s tough.  I’m torn, because it’s hard not to want MOAR CONTENT, when it comes to anything you love.  But there’s also something comforting about having everything be *finished,* so you can look at it as a whole and appreciate the overall story from beginning to end.  (Though of course that’s always a bit muddy with mgs, since the games tend to jump around a fair amount as far as chronological order goes, and you have different main characters doing things in different time periods, etc.)

If there were going to be any further games, I would potentially be interested in seeing remakes of mg1 and 2.  Otherwise, honestly, I’m pretty satisfied with what we’ve got, and I’d be afraid that any further additions would just make the story messier.

[fansplaining]

Hello! I'm curious to know your opinion. I've been working on this long fic for months. Ever since I started writing there has been a bunch of anon's under different names telling me how to write each chapter. Saying things like "make (A) do this", "(b) needs to do that." "I expect this to happen to (C)" Etc. On one hand I'm grateful for the feedback, after all what writer isn't, but of 10 comments, 9 are like this. I'm starting to feel my writing isn't good enough for my readers.

Hello anon! Elizabeth here. Hooooo boy let me tell you, as I was reading this I went on a **journey**. When I reached “9 out of 10,” I went, “WHAT.” I have a few thoughts, and without knowing the full context (what your story is like, what fandom it’s in, etc etc) some of this might apply and some might not. But I think it’s all generally useful for fic writers and readers to think about.

This actually got pretty long, so I’ll put my thoughts under a cut.

 1) The story vs reader expectations

This is something I think about—and talk about—a lot. Here’s a bit of what I said while discussing what “OOC” actually means a few episodes back: 

Humans act irrationally, and I think that you can write a character acting irrationally well. But to me, that’s not a character acting out of character. That’s a character acting against character, irrationally... I think when we say “out of character” about characters we’re actually saying something different, which is: “Have you done the work to show why the character would respond to this situation X way or Y way?” And if he responds Z way, and you haven’t done any of the work to show why he might do that or any of the consequences if it is truly out of character the way we would say a real human acts out of character—then very often it is bad writing. It is people taking plot ideas and then imposing them over their characters without earning it.

These conversations are a huge part of our discussions about media in recent years—whether writing choices are good, whether they are earned, whether they are “in character,” whether they conform to what we expected. But the last one is where things get really murky—because there are *a lot* of readers and viewers these days who are kind of doing what I’m accusing bad writers of doing in that quote—imposing their expectations over the story without really grasping what’s been set up by the writer(s).

There are a lot of parts to this. We often pinpoint Lost as the place where the modern audience’s inclination to “solve” a show was born, and this has spread throughout viewing/reading cultures over the past two decades. The rise of “spoiler culture” is a huge factor here, too—as if knowing plot points is the only thing of value when viewing or reading a piece of entertainment. My least favorite thing in all of this is TV Tropes and the kind of rewiring of peoples’ brains to *only* look for those concepts (which are often weirdly narrow and reductive, unlike, say, the more categorical tropes of fic or the romance genre). 

Here’s an example: in 2017, Gav and I made our love of Black Sails the centerpiece of our fandom newsletter, The Rec Center, and in the process got a lot of people to watch it. And because we were the ones that inspired them, I had a fair number of people in my mentions/messaging me to give their real-time reactions as they went through the episodes.

While not every single writing choice on Black Sails is flawless, much of it is meticulously done, and so many of the plot points are carefully well-earned. But the things people were guessing would happen next in my mentions...were bonkers. Not everyone! But it was enough people (guessing different things) that I was kind of floored. I would think, If that’s what you think is going to happen next, I feel like you aren’t paying attention to the show? I should clarify that this happened with *a lot* of people, not trying to call anyone in particular out. But so many of the guesses felt like they came from expectations imposed by other media, especially stuff that’s signficantly more formulaic and tropey. 

This instinct—to predict, to vocally desire outcomes, to try and get ahead of the writers, to impose the structures of other media over the thing you’re watching—is *deep* in a lot of viewers’ and readers’ minds these days, and it comes out regardless of the quality of the writing. I think it’s not a great turn of events, to be honest—and it leads writers to make some really foolish choices in an attempt to “trick” viewers with something they never could’ve guessed. Which...generally makes for bad writing overall. 

2) Expectations within your fic

So this is the part where I falter a bit without context. Because some fic writers make it clear that they are posting as they write, and that they’re open to suggestions for plot choices. I assume you haven’t done this, or you wouldn’t be unhappy that people are trying to dictate what comes next. 

I’m curious if you are signalling that you’re...OK? with these kinds of comments by, say, writing nice replies that don’t make it clear that you know where you’re going with the story and you’ve already made choices about what happens next. There’s definitely a way to strike that balance, like a very polite evasion, something like, “Haha, thanks for the comment! I have the whole fic plotted out, so you’ll just have to wait and see!” If you start to signal that you’re in control of the plot, not the commenters, perhaps they’ll chill out a bit—because I gotta be honest, the fact that this is 90% of the comments...is wild to me. And I’m wondering if people are doing it because they see other people doing it. 

Again, total speculation without any actual context. I think that this sort of thing is likely more common in certain fandoms and with certain age groups. Even on AO3, fandom is not a monolith—I wonder if you’ve noticed this with other longfics in your fandom. It might be worth checking out how other writers have handled it, if they’re getting flooded with comments like these. 

I posted a longish fic recently, 75K over the course of three months, and let me tell you, no offense to any of my commenters, but a few of them reminded me of those Black Sails folks: What story are you actually reading?? I politely pushed back with one who asserted a whole bunch of stuff that was not in the story at all and tried to predict what would happen based on what was frankly bad reading comprehension. With others who expressed expectations about where things would go, I went the, “Haha you’ll have to wait and see!” route.

Talking to other people who’ve posted chapter-by-chapter longfics, I know that some of the bad predictions are par for the course: being absolutely certain the trouble in a section won’t be resolved, being convinced that any hint that the ship may not stay together will come to pass, even when, what, 95% of all shippy fic has the characters staying together? There’s a sort of performativity of immediate reactions in fic commenting, “OH NO, OH NO, ARE THEY BREAKING UP?” Like, duh, not forever. But commenting as real-time reaction is clearly the way a lot of readers engage with fic. Which is fine! That’s different from dictating the plot to you. 

3) The commenters vs your story

OK, so conceptually swinging back to the first bit, while my immediate response to, “I'm starting to feel my writing isn't good enough for my readers,” is NO NO NO JUST BECAUSE AN AUDIENCE IS SAYING SOMETHING DOESN’T MEAN YOU ARE BAD AND THEY ARE CORRECT. But! I think it might be worth spending a liiiitttle bit of time with them to see what they are saying, and how you think that connects back to what you’ve written. 

When folks came at me with, “I think X will happen next in Black Sails,” I, as a person who’s watched it several times and also professionally deconstructs texts as a critic, can go through and be like, “Here’s why I think that’s a misreading of what you’ve seen so far” (though mostly I would just say things like, “Why try to predict the plot! Just enjoy it!” because I’m trying not to be a dick). Rewatching the show, I can see all the things the writers carefully laid out, and how they pay off eventually. Can I imagine alternate choices for the characters? Sure! But I can see why, with the specific context and stakes in which characters made decisions, the writers had them do what they did. If they made other choices, I’d want that similar sort of work-showing. 

Similarly, when I got the occasional comment like this on the aforementioned fic, I would take it seriously for a moment. Why are they predicting this? Is it possible I haven’t shown my work enough? As I was writing, I thought very carefully about the characters and their motivations and the way certain events shaped their choices, and how changing events would change those choices. Generally, those comments felt, well, unearned: they were more about the reader than about the actual story. 

It helped having a beta who is both smart and scary, and wouldn’t hesitate to tell me if something wasn’t working. A big issue with the “no feedback in fanfic” convo is decontextualized “feedback” from random readers is not really useful! You have people coming from all sorts of backgrounds, all levels of reading comprehension, all sorts of contexts. Everyone can give you their *reaction* to your work, of course, but without that context of critique—the thing you have with a beta/editor, or if you’re in a writing workshop or group—it’s rare that some rando can give you truly useful feedback. 

But! That brings me back to 9 out of 10. I think, with that many people weighing in, it’s worth doing a little bit of serious consideration. Just read back over the story. If you can see ways that you zigged when you were signalling that you were going to zag, then your commenters might have a point. If they’re guessing character X might do Y next, and you’ve planned to have him do Z but actually haven’t done the legwork to make Z seem like a sensible next step, then that might be a fair read. Especially when they say, “I expect X will do Y,” try to figure out to the root of that expectation. Is this about the story, or is it about them? 

Because no audience is some neutral set of readers, and fandom even less so. People might tell you to do something because they hate one character and love another. People might hate your ship and for some reason are choosing to read it anyway. People have a million different contexts they bring to reading a work and not infrequently, they are reading through sets of expectations formed by other pieces of media that have very little to do with your own. 

4) tl;dr

The ~wisdom~ of the crowd is not inherently greater than the wisdom of the writer. Many people in fandom are very thoughtful readers—probably some of the most thoughtful readers out there! But plenty...are not. And that’s fine! They’re obviously still free to comment. I’d love to say, “ignore them, write for yourself, you’re writing the story you wanna write,” but I know how frustrating this must be for you. So give them a little consideration, but not too much. And most importantly, if you have a beta, ask them their opinion of these comments—and if you don’t have a beta, get one! Because a reader you know and whose opinions you trust is so much more valuable than random anon comments, no matter the circumstances. 

[sherlolly-siya]

Magnum P.I. S02xE18-20 spoilers and tidbits

I thought i’ll give a prologue first 😅 Remember i pet project where i was trying to decipher the episode names? yea i didn’t get very far on that.. but i have come to a conclusion, that each title is a convention for what the clients in that episode, and/or our P.I. is going through. Eg. S02xE16 : Farewell To Love

Episode starts with Gladys and Bert who had given up on love but eventually found it in one another. The fact that Gladys narrated this part makes it poetic in a sense that she was the one who had to say bid farewell to Bert.Then TC and Teresa, they found the one that they always loved. The one who made them happier, but TC had to let her go go, he bid farewell to his love, instead of ruining 3 lives.In the beginning of the episode, we see magnum all in for online dating, but after what happened with Dylan, we see him coming to an abrupt conclusion that online dating is just isn’t the thing for him, also adding to the fact, the girl who met through an app (Abby) had just recently broken off with him. So magnum kind of bid a metaphorical farewell to finding love online.

Spoilers for S02x18, S02x19 and S02x20 under the cut if you wish to continue. Warning: My rant got hella long, longer than i planned and there are lots of pics and links below. Thanks @maggiesoa​ and @lizzysfavs​ for providing some food for my thoughts  😊

So.. lets begin with S02x18 : A world of trouble I’m just grouping together the pics that I’ve found so far which seem to be related to episode 18: Perdy and Bobby discussed about having a scene together ignore jay’s comment here, I’m all for #TeamJin and I will riot if they ever kill him. I believe the episode starts with Jin, showing up at Robin’s nest, where he ends up in a situation where he has to change in magnum’s clothes (note the t-shirt magnum is ironing... (Edit: DIDN'T HAPPEN!!?? I MEAN!! This could have been cute.. didn't have to be a total BTS for once!!) Where we get this scene, All i can guess right now is that is a tab in Jin’s had, and he’s being a fair judge for miggy while they prepare for their visa interview, or he could be here with today’s case

Which takes us to to the primary promo for 2x18, where they solve the case at hand. Now my guess is that the case doesnt take up entire 47 minutes, because this promo also exists. What this secondary promo also shows is them at a office(?) guessing visa or may be its a school where the current client works? where magnum/higgy blurts out that they’re marrying and some lady says that they don’t look like a couple. We also see Katsumoto warning Higgy about the consequences of marrying their business partner. (Edit: this did happen and fueled Higgy’s resolve to back out.. nothing wrong there..but as Jin said.. may it be with Magnum or TC, u’re still breaking the law Mrs. I can figure out how pretending with TC is going to get good results? if anything.. it only comes out of nowhere) I’m sensing a connection here again with the title of the episode: A world of trouble:  - The current client, the case was definitely given to them by some one else because they approach the lady coz Higgy says “You’re in trouble, we just want to help you.”, which means she might have refused help at one point. - Literally 2 people in a 2 min worth promo have commented on their wedding, does this not sound like trouble to you?

When magnum is possibly heading out to go to La Mariana, (Edit: DING! DING! DING! This was indeed before the bar scene.. which kinda broke my heart.. but we’ll talk about that in detail later) she tells him that she’s reconsidered her decision that she will be marrying TC instead (which is weird, but for the sake of it, OK). Which also implies that she’s going to have a heart to heart with TC how she had one with Rick before in 2x13. (Edit: Umm.. i would have liked to hear the entire convo here.. but i guess its going to come back a flashback some day?) Magnum than heads to the bar, with Jin where he meets up with his friends and we get this, going by past experiences, this is going to be the last scene where he’s with his friends. Now what leaves me confused is this guy below, the one that magnum rescued and now has a food truck (Rem S1x01, they got him all the way from there now). He’s not listed for 2x18, but the actors caption says 2x18? So is he like the caterer for the wedding? (i thought kamekona was doing that?) or he’s there for entirely other reason?

Now this all leads up to S02x19 :  May The Best One Win Again the title is the synopsis here,

Magnum and Higgins are each hired by a different spouse who are in the middle of a contentious divorce to dig up dirt on the other, and Thomas and Higgins soon find themselves competing over resources. 

But i don’t think them competing again each other is the only thing here, remember this gem from TV guide magazine? - Jay mentions there being an odd jealousy there, and there is something percolating between the duo which magnum doesn’t want to address just yet. I think the competition is not just between Magnum and Higgy, for magnum it is also between him and TC. May be he’ll be still trying to show her that he is the one she should be marrying, even if that’s fake.  - And for the implied element we also have this garage fight, where they’re up against “just one guy, but a very big guy”. This again i don’t think takes forever to solve since, there’s an upcoming wedding everyone has to attend, we’ve all seen the famous pics, but this:

Him again!! And looks like he is in fact catering the event. Now since S02x19 and S02x20 are to be merged into one mega episode, lets slip into: S02x20 :  A Leopard on the Prowl 

Magnum and Higgins help Rick when his father figure, Icepick , just out of prison and battling terminal cancer, gets double crossed on one last score. Also, Magnum makes one last bold move to help Higgins stay in the country.

This is the rick centric episode the viewers were promised, Adding pics of Zac coz he looks great here:

But do you see anything missing here? My sleep deprived brain does. Icepick seems to be have fallen pray to something on the run, nothing pre-planned, the guy has terminal cancer, he’s dying any day now, why would someone spend any time to plan something against him? (He’s probably going to die in this epi..he only had few months.. the article says “reluctantly try to help him” seriously guys why do you have to be reluctant? And below pic is probably of the same related fight scene Jay talked about in the TV guide snippet:

And if the video Jay uploaded is even close to the actual scene, it could be because the guy hit Rick/Higgy and Magnum picked up another fight with him.. or that’s just for insta.. I’ll leave it open. There’s a fight scene with TC as well i suppose. Now what does the title have to do with the episode? Here’s my theory: - Remember Dr. Kim i already mentioned twice above. He’s gotta be here for more than just “catering the wedding”, magnum said he was a code breaker, he was mentioned in one of Robin’s books, he instantly identified the co-ordinates which Nuzzo left for Magnum, (which is duh!  u’re telling me that magnum was a navy SEAL and can read waves but cant piece together actual co-ordinates?!!). Magnum was kidnapped by Ivan’s people coz he needed something from him which was in the books, later Ivan had magnum delivered to himself on a secret mission of retrieving Hayek, who was a weapons dealer but he got away with drones instead.. I think this is all related somehow, there has to be something in this episode that points to this.. I thought may be its in Robin’s books.. but they have never mentioned the same book twice.. I’m still looking for answers though.. But going ahead, see this ,

“ Magnum makes one last bold move to help Higgins stay in the country.” “You see Higgins in a unexpected position, which magnum is very uncomfortable with and where he is not sure about his place”

Soo.. the wedding didn’t happen? So that’s not helping her stay in the country? 

It didn’t bother me much before.. but think about this, what if since the wedding plan backfired, she has to go back to London until her visa is renewed/reapplied for : an unexpected position since she has found something in Hawaii she doesn’t want to loose. Which leaves magnum as the in-charge of Robin’s nest and Zeus and Apollo and part of the deal [I can almost see my HC at the horizon]. An uncomfortable position where he has to manage the estate and the hounds of hell without his “professional better half”. I think there is a beach good-bye scene on this day, may be an actual hug between miggy? Supporting evidence as follows:

Now the last attempt Magnum makes, does he offer her a job? Does he confess? But that wouldn’t automatically land her in an unexpected situation , that would be magnum putting her in that situation while being full aware of his position. I bet lenkov has got pretty good plan for this to play out. Now this doesn’t back up my crack where Higgins leaves, because

This story was posted along with the one where magnum is boating.. so they’re probably from the same episode.. where the last ditch effort has paid off but Magnum and Higgins roles have now been shifted a little and lenkov’s quote makes sense “Nothing really changes”.. has anyone ne noticed that there are no Juliet pics from 2x20 yet? 

I cant wait to see that though.. and for a 100% i know there is a season 3, its a gut feeling i have. Thank you for stopping by.. sorry it was too long  😘

[jlf23tumble]

This one’s for @homosociallyyours and @silverfoxlouis, the former because she’s not going to listen and the latter because they’re listening as we speak! I saw a post earlier that low-key annoyed me because it either misrepresented today’s Stern interview or it skipped right over the fascinating bits, so here are the parts I enjoyed (I won’t waste my time on the shit I hated, lol):

Shrooms and the song-writing process are related to Harry’s anxiety about fucking shit up and needing to get out of his own head; related: coming from a band, if there's something you don't like, you can tell yourself that it wasn’t your choice.

The Rob Stringer talk made me SIDE EYE w/r/t the delay, like, okay, you’re a label boss who’s gonna drop a ton of money, but you’re cool with telling the artist to just relax and take all the time they need, you’ll just pick up the thread when hs2 is completely finished, lolz (I have my own theories about allllll of that, but okay!).

I love Stevie and her coven of nocturnal witches, too, but tell me more about how she hated Harry’s choice of first single (in my heart, she wanted “Golden”) and the song that she thought should have been on the album but isn’t, god, she’s such a yoda, and this entire bit was so much bigger than the coven.

I live in Harry’s soft, breathy “thank you” whenever Howard praises SOTT.

I feel like all the White Eskimo talk is a fic waiting to happen, the whole battle of the bands and them winning studio time and how Harry talks to maybe one of them and there’s a guy who IS STILL IN WHITE ESKIMO I GUESS???? WHAT?

Howard Stern hatesssssssssssss Simon Cowell, so his attempts to get Harry to talk shit were both wonderful and expertly dodged, lmao. 

My only positive comment about the discussion around Harry “putting on some timber” during his bakery (cashier at a baker) years was how much it echoed Louis’s comment about “having extra timber” during one of his recent BTS specials.

Were the guys in One Direction REALLY saying that Matt Cardle was “so fucking good” back in the day? This junior statesman!

Ralph pointed this out when we were talking about the interview, but a lot of the time, Howard just makes statements (as per usual), and Harry says, “Right,” which is a great response because it isn’t really an answer, yet it’s still participatory.

Howard is obsessed with coronavirus, so it was hella interesting to hear Harry’s thoughts about it affecting his tour, when his tour is still so far away (yet another tour is so much closer and in the direct line of fire).

Howard (like me) was pleased that Harry’s band is a mix of women and men and not just dudes (I should take a drink every time Bowie is mentioned, like around Harry’s clothes, how Harry is starting his tour in Philadelphia, the entirety of that convo making me want to see Harry’s face as much as all the xarries want to).

One of the things I hated seeing earlier today was this notion that Howard “forced” Harry to talk about the robbery because he absolutely did not, Harry went into CRAZY levels of detail about it when Howard asked, “When did this happen to you?” (and the way Harry talked about it wasn’t full of trauma or sadness, it bordered on humorous in spots but still serious; it clearly shook him up, but he wasn’t about to let it change his life of feeling free to walk around at night). 

I wanted to hear a lot more about all the musicians hanging out in the ‘70s and being competitive in terms of who was writing the best songs about a particular party vs. the competitiveness of banging out the best single today. Harry’s focus was that if you say you like a song, people think you should collaborate…if two musicians hang out, they're dating or recording (like with Adele, and case in point, Howard immediately asked if they were working on something).

I also loved the bit about acting and how nervous Harry used to be about EVERYTHING because he’s waiting three hours to do three minutes, and he focuses so much on his voice or hands shaking, but this last SNL really helped (in my heart, his “little tweaks” were on the Sara Lee sketch).

I live in the guffaw from Harry whenever Howard unexpectedly hit his funny bone (like Harry saying Anne gave him some money to buy clothes when he first moved to London, and Howard saying it was good return on investment for her, what with the house Harry eventually bought her, etc.).

I absolutely LOVED the entire bit about Ben Winston’s attic (and Ralph’s related takes on it), the fine line of the plausibility yet the doubling down; the word “cocaine” coming out of Harry’s mouth; the parts about dating and keeping your relationship normal/secret, etc., GOLD, ALL OF IT. 

Harry, like Phoenix Mendoza, writes every day, which is part of why he wasn’t really into giving up his phone to muggers because that’s his writing zone of choice for lyrics and poems (the whole robbery clapback here: “for the purposes of not getting mugged again, no, they’re on a different device”).

MITCH SPEAKS!! He was into his Nick Drake phase when Harry met him, but apparently everyone is into the open D (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) chord, so he was a shoe-in. Also, Harry met Adam in 2010??? I’d like more information.

We move back into 1D territory with Zayn’s departure, which is still shittily handled but somewhat more maturedly discussed, and yet another attempt to get Harry to talk shit about Simon, which is getting us closer to what we want/need (Harry’s very real answer to Simon being pissed that Harry didn’t consult him about going solo: “I’m in a band since I was 16, there were five of us, we had a lot of managers, lots of people at the label, and all of these decisions affect your life in a massive way, every decision I made was a group call. I didn't know who I was as an adult,” and a lot of that is paraphrased in spite of the quote marks, but just know that I am screaming LIAM).

There’s a lot of weird downspeak to Sarah and Ny (Adam and Mitch were talked at earlier), but everyone’s very much into Sarah, and rightfully so. I loved the slip up where Howard is trying to figure out if there’s anything romantic going on between Harry and the female band members, and someone says, “Mitch!” so you can hear Howard process Harry and Mitch for a hot sec, cracking the Hitch dream, before we get clarification and Harry gleefully taking us into the story of their love. (Me as the speech Howard gives Sarah and Mitch about how dangerous it is to be in a band together and to have a relationship because if you fuck it up, it’ll be terrible.)

SLEDGEHAMMER NICE.

We get a bit into the “Adore You” video because Howard’s an animal softie, and he loves it (it’s downplayed, but Howard also mentions how fans have put a lot of “thoughts” into the fish), but then we get into talk about how this song is about the girl Harry’s banging (HIS SNICKER HERE) and how the common denominator in all of Harry’s failed relationships is him, huh. All of this relationship talk here makes me want to DIE with how much I love it.

Everyone focuses on the gross talk from Howard about Harry having a lady therapist (this is a long-standing Howard trope), but some good shit disappears between those cracks, like how Harry decided to go into therapy, how he’s keeping his LA therapist instead of having two in different countries, etc., and it’s actually Robin who asks Harry about seeming weak or vulnerable in front of a female therapist, but clearly, he’s not bothered.

I’m so interested in how the shrooms tongue-biting incident cured a speech impediment I wasn’t fully aware of but that is still so impossibly endearing.

Harry himself picks out his opening acts, which we already knew but is always nice to hear confirmed. 

The drug convo in text from earlier today makes it sound like he doesn’t smoke cigs, but to me, it seems like he doesn’t like to smoke weed (an edible king, relatable).

Harry says, “you’ve said it all,” which just makes me think he’s a long-time (or recent) Stern listener, because that’s what Howard says when he’s done/interview’s over.

We think it’s all done but the shouting, and then Robin gets into Harry’s clothing, which is where it gets dicey. Howard (of course) mentions that Bowie wore a skirt and how he himself did full drag on TV (“legs shaved and everything, you should see how gorgeous I am as a woman”), but Harry keeps it very much in the realm of what he wears is what he wears because it’s fun for him, he’s not wearing a school uniform or trying to look cool for his friends, he’s a lot more comfortable with himself: “At shows, I tell people to be who they want to be, I plan on telling my kids that, so I don’t want to be a hypocrite, I’m not wearing it for shock value.” 

Howard says people will assume he’s gay or bi (like Bowie, YEAH, SIGH), but Harry says it’s not performative. This whole bit is fascinating on so many levels, he touches (without saying) on the entire queer-baiting issue, and it’s cringe-y, with Howard saying “I’m not criticizing, wear what you want, I’m a big mess, etc.”

Anyway, they pivot out of that with Howard moving beyond into asking Harry who he wants to badmouth: “Simon?” Harry: “This has been great!” and this entire bit about how Howard wants to know if Harry considers Simon a friend, and Harry saying he doesn’t talk to him gives me life. There’s a lot of gross talk about who Harry has his eye on for his next girlfriend, but I will tell you that I never in my life expected to hear the words SUSAN BOYLE thrown into this convo. 

The interview closes out with Harry getting progressively more silent about the women he should date, saying that he doesn’t talk in interviews about his love life, he talks in music (oh?????), so Taylor Swift comes up, and Harry says it’s flattering to think you’re in a Taylor song because she’s such a great songwriter, which, true, I guess?

Harry hasn’t used a dating app (duh), but Howard thinks he should create one, and…scene. 

[reflectionsofacreator]

Sequence 9: Revelations

Sorry there’s not much happening in this video, but like. I thought the delivery of these voice lines was really important, so I ended up capping it. This is directly after the previous letter that Ezio sent to Claudia. I find it really funny that Sofia’s actually using the same walking animation as the courtesans/Romani women, but like, this is the first/only time she’s ever been walking in the field with Ezio. They likely didn’t want to spend time giving her a unique animation for this short bit. 

For as much as I’ve heard Ezio’s interpretation of the Creed, I had admittedly thought it was going to be part of a larger cutscene, not something that was said in a conversational manner as you’re walking through the ruins of Masyaf Castle. Ezio’s interpretation is often quoted, and for good reason. It’s poetic, poignant, and it resonates with a lot of people, especially because it’s something that he says in the later parts of his life, right on the cusp of setting that life aside, thus giving it gravitas that his younger persona could not. 

Ezio’s had a bit of a rocky relationship with the Creed all his life, starting with his assassination of Vieri de Pazzi, continuing all the way up to now.  I find it interesting that Ezio doesn’t bring up the Three Tenants to Sofia, but that might just be because that’s a larger, involved conversation, largely because he recently broke one of them. Me? Still disappointed? More likely than you think.

That being said though, I’m really glad we do have his own interpretation of the Creed, because it gives an insight into his character, namely that he feels a responsibility to the world as a whole. It’s a bit different than Altair’s interpretation, but not completely so.

Altair’s was given via a conversation between him and Al Mualim during his Hunt for the Nine, after he questioned the deaths for Jubair and Sibrand who are known Templars. We don’t actually have a solid “this is my interpretation” from Altair, devoid of any other context (at least not in the games, idk about the books), so Altair’s words might ring a little differently. 

Al Mualim: What is the truth?  Altair: We place faith in ourselves. We see the world the way it really is, and hope that one day all mankind might see the same.  Al Mualim: What is the world, then? Altair: An illusion. One we can either submit to, as most do, or transcend.  Al Mualim: What is it to transcend?  Altair: To recognize that nothing is true, and everything is permitted. That laws arise not from divinity, but reason. I understand now that our Creed does not command us to be free. It commands us to be wise.  Al Mualim: Do you see now, why the Templars are a threat?  Altair: Where as we would dispel the illusion, they would use it to rule. 

Wisdom is certainly part of what Ezio is talking about, but his tends to veer more towards responsibility, which makes a degree of sense given that he’s in his fifties, and the Mentor of the Order. It’s worth noting that Altair’s interpretation was given when he was 26, during his character development. We don’t know if his interpretation changed as he got older and viewed more of the world, and spent time with the Apple. 

The second part that I wanted to have on record was Sofia asking if he regrets living this life for so long. And like... yeah. He outright admits that he never chose this life, it chose him. It’s a culmination of these little hints we’ve had, all over the course of his trilogy. It’s ... both relieving, and heartbreaking to hear him finally put it into words, that this isn’t exactly the life he wanted. There’s more to the convo tho, but my video got corrupted, so block quotes it is. 

Ezio: For three decades I have served the memory of my father and my brothers, and fought for those who have suffered the pain of injustice. Ezio: I do not regret those years, but it is time to live for myself, and let them go. To let go of all of this.  Sofia (fondly): Then let go. You will not fall far. 

God, this really just... is a setup of Feelings, aimed straight at my kneecaps. 

[aspiestvmusings]

MIB: International - My 1st “review” thoughts

SPOILERS AHEAD for MIB: INTERNATIONAL (2019) 

So.. I went to see the new film “Men In Black: International” (2019) the other day. It was an early preview, hence me already having seen it, though it comes out only tomorrow in local theaters here. 

1. A look back/History: I know I have seen the original MIB film. And I mean... film. The first MIB film from 1997. I don’t think I ever saw the second MIB II from 2002 or the last one, MIB 3 from 2012. Also... I do know I quite enjoyed the original/first film, but I have no specific memories from it.  So I did not find it to be “one of my faves of all time” (those are the films I remember in detail) 

2.  I looked at the critics/viewers early reviews & was a bit surprised to find how “negative” the reviews were, and how disliked the film seems to be. Though most of the criticism seems to be about comparing this to the original film (trilogy) & it being different/not connected to it...in ways that was expected. And about how this is a mindless summer blockbuster film. 

3. I personally quite liked the film. And since I don’t remember (basically) anything from the original MI, I had the luxury of not comparing the two (or finding any “continuity” issues or  anything like that). I also went in fully aware that this is a summer blockbuster, so I did not expect anything besides that from the film. I also went basically because of the cast. I wanted to see “Thor” & “Valkyrie” working as a Team again. I also went in not knowing much about the film. I had seen the trailer or few, and some BTS pics/vids from social media, but I was pretty much unspoiled for the film. 

The film is not great/spectacular (just good/ok), but it delivers what it’s supposed to...for a summer blockbuster. I also liked that in my eyes the film did not take itself too seriously. They knew when to “laugh at themselves”. It might not have anything unexpected, or memorable, or anything else special, but it is a fun entertainment with a little mystery, lots of fun teamwork, many gadgets, lots of colourful characters from many species (local & alien)... so it’s cool. 

4. Some moments from the new film that I remember (the most) after this first viewing: 

M as in Molly & H as in Henry

Everyone wanting to push the (big) red button. #PushTheButton 

That space train (transformation) scene (from NYC to London... to other places) was cool!

Agent M was not expecting the taxi ride to be what it was. neither did I. That “taxi ride to the secret club” was also cool. 

The desert convo where the Pawny is the mediator/translator...  between the two characters, who are “not on speaking terms” at the moment, while they are standing next to each other, so can hear anything the other says, but both tell Pawny to tell the other what they have to say. And Pawny, at times, changing the message “a bit”. 

The arms dealer has extra arms! That’s... kind of funny.  And arms dealer who has lots of arms (she has more arms than humans usually have... 3 not four as I previously typed) 

That moment when one of the MIB London office ladies (alien species) uses her alien magic skills to “freeze/slow/turn back time - when they show “Thor” walking in slow-motion... that was kinda silly, and funny scene. It’s horrible in reality (she/they were ogling at him), but visually it was beautiful scene. 

That moment, when Agent M makes Agent H realize he was neuralyzed the last time in Paris/at Eiffel tower, cause he has that one specific story/explanation of events, and no other recollection... and that’s his whole memory of it, and he realizes that it’s a “rehearsed” story/memory, hence not real/what really happened.

That sweet reunion moment, when the little girl, who is now grown up / changed, meets the cute little alien “teddy bear” (who has also grown up & changed) she met two decades ago, again... And finally learns what the two words the furball told her as goodbye really meant. 

The ending “twist” AKA “Who is the mole in London office” was kinda easy to guess, though I must admit that they did add enough little details to make me question if it’s someone else (I suspected three other characters at certain moments, too), because movies can sometimes use false hints & I don’t think that it’s always as it seems. But even though you can probably guess who the mole is & how it all ends, it’s kinda fun two hours. 

MIB:I/MCU “parallels”: While Avengers have THOR, The God of Thunder (and Hammers), MIB: International have THOH, The Henry of Hammers. In other words: that moment/scene, when Agent H uses a hammer as a “tool”. That made me think of Chris H’s other recent role, Thor.  To be more specific he throws a hammer at someone, who catches it & his line to that is “That was an incredible catch!”

MIB: I/MCU “parallels”: That moment when its mentioned he (helped to) saved the universe. Chris H. played a character in MIB: I, who (thinks that he)  helped to save the Universe & he also played a character who helped to save the Universe in Avengers/MCU films. 

MIB: I/MCU “parallels” : That moment, when the trio crash lands in the desert reminded me of the first IronMan film & how Tony crash-landed in the desert in his first suit.  

MIB:I/MCU “parallels”: That moment when Tessa T. plays a character, who is considered to be a QUEEN (Pawny: Are you a queen / Agent H: Indeed she is...) in MIB:I & when she is given the title of QUEEN of New Asgard in Avengers. Endgame. Two films, where the same actors are doing a scene, where her character is pointed as/thought of as a QUEEN. 

MIB/Elementary “parallels”: That method that M used to wake up napping H was so Holmes/Watson. You know...that scene when Agent H is sleeping behind his desk at work & Agent M has to talk to him, but he doesn’t wake up easily, so she drops a pile of books on the table to wake him up. ;) And then he tries to cover it up by claiming he was meditating, and thinks he fooled her. But then she tells him he has a tell - he snores when he “meditates”. 

Pawny was the highlight of the film, and the funniest character. His lines/scenes got the most reactions & laughs from the audience when I was watching. I really loved the character - both the looks (the tiny pawn was the most important piece in the game/film) and the lines. And he got to serve two queens in this film & did an honourable job!

Tessa T. as Agent M. was the (next) highlight of the film. Her role was (IMO) central to the story. Chris H as Agent H. (this films James Bond... in many ways) was also good. And while Emma T.’s Agent O. (the boss, who recruits M...after she finds the men in black...after two decades of searching) does not have a lot of screentime, she is memorable, too.  Then there are the other colourful characters: Agent High T., who did his job, Agent C, who played his part, Riza...& her bodyguards who had some great action/fight scenes.... And the Dancing alien “fire” twins did their job as the “scary enemies”

Though the film did add scenes/moments that can be used as a built up for future romance between the leads (typical to Hollywood films), then I liked that in this film there was not, not really, any romance between the two leads. Sure, the looks and all at the end  suggested that in the next films they might take the story there, but I liked that they were a great team, and buddys in this one. The rookie & the “veteran” - one eager to prove themselves, the other once with great promise (best agent)...but now kinda not taking things that seriously. 

I also liked that despite things he got promoted as the new boss, because as the old boss had said - he had potential. And I liked that he got the custody of Pawny for now (I hope it’s like with Clyde in Elementary, when the two share the “custody” of the “pet”) 

5. Some quotes (not word by word, cause I can’t remember them all, accurately, I think): 

The universe is a sort of chemical reaction. And the Universe is real. (as a response to “Love is not real, just a chemical reaction��)

Always remember: the universe has a way of leading you to where you're supposed to be, at the moment you're supposed to be there. (and the quote becoming real at the end of the film) 

Too late. I already pledged the loyalty. I wish you’d said, “No, no, no,” before. (I pledged my loyalty to you, my new queen) 

I’m not losing another queen. 

Why is he wearing pink pants? (that’s a question the film asks, and one that is never answered) 

[sosa-sketch]

Fright or Flight: Chapter 2

Parings: Prinxiety // Logicality // Platonic LAMP

Story Summary: Virgil and Patton investigate the New Prince Castle, when a brutal accident kills Patton. Patton wakes as a ghost and meets friendly ghoul Roman, who has been haunting the castle for 20 years. Virgil is determined to bring Patton back to life and brings Logan, the ghost expert, to help him out. Time is quickly running out, and the four must work together to undo death. If only it was as simple as Logan made it sound.

Unknown to them, a secret entity in the castle does not plan on letting them succeed.

Previous Chapter   Next Chapter 

When Patton first met Virgil, his last intention was to become friends with him. Virgil had built up a notorious reputation over the first few months of school, and his grades did nothing to disprove his status. Patton wasn’t the type to judge a person’s character based on rumors nor looks. No one was a higher believer in the benefit of doubt than Patton! However, Virgil’s first impression did not help his case.

Virgil transferred into Patton’s English class the second semester due to a schedule change. When the teacher stated a new team project was to be completed, Patton did not shy away from offering to be Virgil’s partner. He understood how difficult it could be being the new kid in a class full of friends and cliques.

The project was hefty, an collection of novel analyzing, essays, vocabulary, and journal entries. Patton was not looking forward to the Shakespearean project-Shakespeare’s language was alien to him. It occurred to Patton that pairing up with the soon-to-be-dropout may not have been his best idea. Nonetheless, Patton refused to be jaded.

The first day of the project, Virgil refused to touch the work.

“There’s no way I’m touching this project.” Virgil sneered. “Especially about Shakespeare.”

“Huh?” Patton had not fully processed Virgil’s words. “Is it because you don’t understand it?”

“Sure.”

“Neither can I! I guess Shakespeare really has our brains shaken up! Maybe we can ask the teacher to go over it for us?”

The teen huffed and shook his head. Virgil laid his head on the wooden desk and his eyes slipped closed. He napped for the rest of the period.

His behavior continued for weeks. Patton had tried everything in his power to get Virgil to help him out. Patton’s seemingly endless supply of compliments and encouraging gestures served no help.

Patton’s mind had conjured countless excuses for Virgil since Virgil himself refused to give one. At the beginning the excuses had seemed feasible. Lack of sleep? Family issues? However, by week three, Patton was already scraping the bottom of the barrel, trying to justify Virgil’s dismissive attitude with clones and possible mind control. Virgil was no closer to lifting up a pencil, there were ten days left of the project, and Patton still understood little to nothing about Shakespeare. Patton was flying solo and time was ticking.

The final week before the project was due, Patton caught the flu.

Patton would chalk up the flu to the top three sucky sicknesses of his lifetime. His fever was raging, his skin drowning in sweat while the insides of him iced over. Patton couldn’t tell when being awake ended and when sleep began. The only alarm in Patton’s body was the churning in his gut that rushed him to the toilet.

Understandably, the project was the last thing on his mind.

Patton would not remember his Shakespeare mission until the Sunday before it was due, when he was shaking off the final remnants of the flu. The realization hit him like a train, but by the time he went flying off his bed and hurriedly logging on to his computer to check the time, Patton knew it was hopeless. There was no way he could get the project done in a few hours and counting. Not when all his energy was going into fighting of sneezes and headaches.

Patton was dejectedly scrolling through his email filled with newsletters from adoption sites and animal protection agencies when a subject line caught his eye: “English Project.” Linked to the email were word documents and an audio file. Perplexedly, Patton opened the email.

To: patpetspups@gmail.com

From: killjoy_2001@icloud.com

Subject: English Project

Patton,

so apparently you’ve been sick. class is way more quiet without you their, which is wierd.

i think i did everything you hadn’t done. it’s gonna be really mispelled and confusing and shit. sorry. i’m not the best with righting. feel free to fix anything.

get well soon.

-V

p.s. sorry for acting like a jerk. i owe you a explanation monday.

Patton hugged his computer screen and laugh with relief. He had no idea why Virgil was so nervous. His ideas were brilliant. A week later, Patton would see an A in his gradebook for the Shakespeare project.

There was a reason why Patton never lost faith in people.

True to his word, the next week Virgil explained his mistreatment to Patton. Virgil struggled with dyslexia. While he was getting tutoring in overcoming his learning disability, Virgil’s writing made him incredibly insecure. His old teacher always let him work individually, but the new teacher wasn’t having it. Before class, the teacher pulled him aside and told Virgil he was no different from any other student and would have to work with a partner. Virgil, determined to spite the teacher and anxious to seem like an “idiot” in front of Patton, would pretend to sleep the whole period.

“All your writing took was a quick grammar fix. The ideas were so good! I’m not just saying that to say that, they actually were! I could never think of something like that.” Patton reassured enthusiastically.

Virgil flushed a bright red. “I didn’t do much. Shakespeare is a lot easier to understand with audio.”

Patton listened to the audiobook of Macbeth that night. Virgil clearly wasn’t giving himself enough credit.

Virgil and Patton quickly grew close once the project was done. Virgil was still quiet, snappy, moody, and detrimentally insecure, but he began to open up more as the months went on. By senior year, Patton and Virgil was joined at the hip. Two peas in a pod.

Virgil had grown a lot since freshman year.

Being joined at the hip with Virgil meant that Patton got to understand Virgil by the simplest change in body language or expression. It also meant that Patton became aquatinted with anyone close to Virgil.

Patton already had a bad feeling while Virgil’s tone had shifted on the phone the night they were chatting about yearbook quotes. Remy sending Patton a text only confirmed the ball of dread in his stomach.

Rem: pat can we talk ?

Patton: You don’t even have to ask! Everything ok?

Rem: it’s about v

Rem: have you guys talked recently ? out of school

Patton: We talked last weekend. Over the phone. Why? Is Virgil fine??

Rem: idk. he came over to my house a couple nights ago at like 5 am. talked about some ghost shit.

Patton: He woke you up to talk about ghosts??(language!)

Rem: looking for affirmation that he wasn’t some obsessed ghost freak. i told him nah

Rem: but tbh he kinda is obsessed

Patton: He is passionate about his ghosts! But that’s not a bad thing.

Rem: v strongly disagrees. the whole thing about the yearbook and ghost quotes really messed with his head

Patton: I didn’t mean anything bad by it! It was just an idea! I promise! I’ll apologize to him!!!

Rem: wait no thats not what im saying. no one blames u

Rem: is he doing any ghost stuff anytime soon

Patton: Yep. He’s going to visit a castle!

Patton: Is that bad?

Rem: don’t you remember last time v became paranoid abt something? he pulled some real stupid stuff just to prove ppl wrong

Patton: Yeah. I know.

Patton: Gosh now I’m worried :(

Rem: i just dont want him doing anything he’ll regret on the trip. can u just…idk watch out for him pls ? ik v can take care of himself. but sometimes he gets into this headspace that’s self-destructive

Rem: tbh i dont like his ghost stuff as it is. i dont need him doing something dumb either

Patton: I understand Rem. That’s really sweet of you <3 <3

Patton: I’ll look out for him! I promise!!!! :-) :-)

Rem: ty. dont tell v abt this convo tho

Despite feeling uneasy about it, Patton understood Remy’s request to keep silent. Telling Virgil about their conversation would only push Virgil away and make him defensive. It’d be impossible to look out for him.

Virgil had already given Patton a way in. Patton had to talk to Logan for Virgil and get any supplies he might need. Patton loved visiting Logan in and of itself. Maybe Logan could help him out.

Logan’s business was located near small shops clustered along the beach. It was a hotspot for tourists, where knickknacks and souvenirs were sold and expensive attractions were advertised. Patton walked along here with Virgil sometimes, stopping at the arcade or mirror maze. Patton had met some of the most interesting people in the small touristy town.

Among the attractions was a dark blue shingled building with a pointy-roofed top. Painted letters on a wooden board spelt out “Afterlife Exposed.” Patton stepped through the door and a bell gently ringed, signaling his arrival.

At the sound of the bell, a tall, dark-haired man turned around. His navy suit blended in with the darkness of the shop. The man’s lean body was captivated beautifully in the suit. Patton quickly averted his eyes, blushing furiously.

“I have been expecting you-oh. Greetings, Patton. What a surprise.”

“Hi Logan!” Patton waved enthusiastically. “Who were you expecting?”

“No one. It’s a new rule Father has implemented. I must say it to every customer to ‘set the mood,’ as he calls it.” Logan dragged his hand over his face exasperatedly. “I find it quite ridiculous. But business shall be business.”

Logan’s father technically owned Afterlife Exposed. But he was always hidden in the back, gathering supplies or experimenting. Logan was currently studying entrepreneurship in college in order to take over the family business someday.

“How may I help you today, Patton?” Logan inquired, stepping around the counter to stand in front of him. He was even taller up close.

Patton filled Logan in about the New Prince Castle family murder and Virgil’s plan to investigate the castle for one of his ghost routines. Logan nodded politely the whole way through.

“I see. What an intriguing case. What exactly does he need from me?”

Patton shrugged cluelessly. “Anything you think might help, I guess.”

“What’s his budget?”

“A coffee and cake pop from Starbucks, if he uses his gift card.”

Logan rolled his eyes. “And he sent you to purchase something from here? Why, he couldn’t even afford a keychain.”

“Come on, Logan! He’s one of your most loyal customers and between us, he’s going through a rough patch. Can’t you help him out? Please?”

Logan massaged his temples and sighed. “Patton, it’s just not something the business can afford to do right now. My Father and I have been dealing with a sort of rough patch as well. You and Virgil have my sincerest apologies-truly, you do.”

Patton nodded dejectedly, “I understand.” Spotting Logan’s hesitant expression and tense form, he rested a hand on Logan’s shoulder and grinned. “Really, I do. I don’t blame you.”

Logan gave a small, tight-lipped smile in return. Gently shaking Patton’s hand off his shoulder, he clasped his hands together tightly. “Well, is there anything else I can do for you?”

“I’m not too sure.” Patton pursed his lips in thought. “Well, actually. I was wondering if you could tell me the dos and don’ts of ghost hunting. The yays and nays. The cats and dogs-actually no scratch that, both of those would be a yay.”

“With all due respect, Patton, I think Virgil has got that covered.” Logan reassured. “He must have asked me a dozen times prior to his first investigation.”

“Oh yeah, I know. It’s for me.” Patton corrected.

Logan raised an eyebrow in perplexion. Patton had never shown an interest in ghost hunting when Virgil wasn’t to be found.

Patton thought quickly. “I just want to understand more. For when I talk to Virgil. Sometimes I really don’t get half the explanations coming from the kiddo’s mouth.” It wasn’t a lie. “Just…how do you deal with ghosts?

“I see.” Logan clicked his tongue. “I’m sure Virgil could explain it to you more in depth. But, if you’re ever in doubt, chalk it up to one thing: respect. Is what you’re doing respecting the afterlife and their home? Are you portraying common courtesy? Treat them with the same respect as the living, if not more. There are exceptions, as with anything, but for the most part, that should keep you out of trouble with spirits.”

“Respect.” Patton repeated.

“You have strong morals, Patton. If you’re concerned about involvement with the afterlife due to your closeness with Virgil, I would not worry. Lack of respect is the last of your weaknesses.”

Logan pulled out his phone from the back of his pocket. “I apologize, I must return to my work. However, if you or Virgil have any more questions, feel free to give me a call.”

Patton gushed and thanked Logan, jotting down his number. Logan flushed a gentle red and held out his hand for a handshake.

“Pleasure doing business with you, Patton.”

Patton swatted Logan’s hand away and brought him in for a hug. “Thank you, Logan.”

Logan awkwardly pat Patton on the back before ungracefully untangling himself from the embrace. “I was only doing my job. Now, I understand it’s none of my business, but I recommend getting some rest. You look exhausted.”

“High school has permanently carved bags under my eyes.” Patton shook his head defeatedly.

Logan gave an amused smirk. “You sounded like Virgil.”

Patton beamed. “Like father, like son!”

Just as Patton was about to turn around to leave the store, something in the corner of the room glistened, catching his eye. “Hey Logan? Just one more thing?”

Logan hummed at him, encouraging Patton to continue.

He pointed to the object at the corner of the room. “How much can I get that for?”

 “Walkie-talkies. I sent you to Logan Berry, one of the smartest, most knowledgeable people about the afterlife in this town, and you come back with a Ghost Buster walkie-talkie.” Virgil grunted, dangling the toy by its antennae.

“You can have the Casper the Ghost one instead.”

“What? No! Ghost Busters is better, anyway.” Virgil groaned. “That’s not the point. How about advice? Did Logan say anything?”

“Just to respect the ghosts. Have common courtesy. Which you better be doing anyway, even without Logan telling you to do so.”

Virgil threw his hands up in exasperation and fell down into his sofa as the cushions engulfed the skinny man. “Obviously I respect them! The last thing I need is coming home possessed and cursed! He knows I know that. That’s really all he said?”

“Besides giving us his number.” Patton confirmed. “Which I already gave you.”

Virgil grumbled. “Whatever. One day I’ll get enough money to- wait. The walkie-talkies. There’s no way you could have bought them with my money, I would not have had enough. Please don’t tell me…”

Virgil got a glance of Patton’s sheepish look and groaned. “Patton, we have a rule! No buying each other anything!” He buried his head in his hands. “I can’t pay you back. You know that.”

“Hey…” Patton took a seat next to Virgil and laid a comforting hand on his knee. “It’s okay. They weren’t expensive. You don’t have to pay me back.”

Virgil looked at Patton in between his fingers. His voice was muffled against his palms. “You know how I feel about that, Pat.”

“Virgil, come on.” Patton pleaded.

Virgil shook his head. “Thank you. But, you need to return them.”

Guilty silence settled among the two, but neither made a move to leave. Both were lost in their own worlds when an idea struck Patton.

He nudged Virgil. “I know a way for you to pay me back without money.” At Virgil’s unimpressed look, he protested, “Seriously! It would mean a lot more to me than whatever these walkie-talkies cost.”

“Yea?” Virgil lifted his head from his hands. “What is it?”

Patton stared at Virgil’s stormy eyes as his heart pounded. In all honesty, this was the last thing Patton wanted to do. He was terrified. But, he thought back to the conversation he had with Remy, and the last time Virgil did something senseless unsupervised due to paranoia. “I want to go ghost hunting with you. At the New Prince Castle.”

Virgil’s jaw dropped. His eyes darted around Patton’s face before he shook his head and gave a weak chuckle. “Sure, Pat. Whatever you say.”

“No, I’m serious!” Patton insisted. “I’ll respect the ghosts and do whatever you tell me to do!”

Virgil was dismissing Patton before he could finish his sentence. “No, no, no. You hate ghost stories, Pat! Especially ones that are spooky and gruesome. You’d hate ghost-hutning. It’s dark and there’s lots of weird noises and tons of spiders. No way. I’m not adding more guilt to my conscience.”

Virgil made a move to get up from the sofa, but Patton refused to let the conversation drop. He grabbed Virgil’s hand and pulled him back to the seat. Virgil landed with a clumsy thump.  

“Kiddo, I know I hate all those things. I’m sure I’ll be scared. But, you’ll be there too! I love you more than I hate all those things combined.”

“Patton, we can do something else together. Go to the movies. Or bowling. Normal teen stuff.” Virgil reasoned.

Patton retorted, “But ghost hunting is important to you.”

“It’s not that important. It’s a simple hobby. I don’t care that much about it.” Virgil cut off.

“I know, I know!” Patton quickly backtracked. “What I meant was that ghost-hunting has been a cool way for us to bond. It intrigues you-a perfectly normal amount-and I like seeing you happy! Just like you go walking with me along the shops by the beach even though it’s super crowded and you hate it.”

“Patton, what’s your point?” Virgil grilled.

“My point is I want to try this thing that you enjoy with you. Just like you try things for me. It’s senior year, Virgil. No one hates thinking about it more than me, but we don’t know what things are going to be like after high school. I want to find a husband, start a family. Maybe study veterinary science. You could have a publisher for your writing, become a famous author, and move. I want to do this with you. I want to get over my fear.”

Patton stared at Virgil hopefully and held out his hand. “What do you say? One more big adventure for the dynamic duo?”

Virgil stared at Patton, looked down and roughly shook his head, froze, then stared at Patton once more. Virgil’s foot rapidly tapped against the floor, creating a dizzy, distracting melody. Finally, Virgil pulled his hair and glared at Patton. “You’ll be careful?”

Patton nodded eagerly.

“And you’ll stick with me no matter what? At all times? I want you in my sight.”

Virgil dramatically groaned, closing his eyes and throwing his head back. “I guess you can come.”

Patton shot up from his seat, whooping with joy and hopping around the sofa. “Thank you, Virgil! Thank you! We’re going to have such a great time!”

Virgil peeked one eye open and gave a soft grin. “Yeah, I guess we are. You’re sure you wanna do this?”

“Never been more sure of anything in my life besides my love for you and cats! I pinkie swear it.”

Patton and Virgil intertwined pinkies before Patton winked and let go, embracing Virgil.

“Let your moms know you’re going to be gone for the weekend.” Virgil smirked. “We have a haunted castle to explore.”

[raeofalbion]

Writing Pet Peeves

Someone asked about this a while back—the ask is gone but I think I’m ready to give my opinion on this. I wasn’t sure if they meant writing pet peeves as a writer or writing pet peeves as a reader, so I’m going to separate this into two sections and try to answer to the best of my ability. If you‘re easily angered by people bitching about things that annoy them, you might not want to read this. Also, as a disclaimer, I will not be calling anyone out by name. Just because that’s not how I do things. I might curse a bit, though. It’s also really long, so look under the cut.

Writing Pet Peeves As A Writer (in no particular order)

- When The Words Won’t Do The Thing

I’m pretty sure every writer has dealt with this. You’ve got this beautiful, perfect scene in your head and everything down to the last detail is perfect and you can picture it and you know it’s within your ability to write…and the words suddenly don’t come out right. They just…aren’t correct. The feeling’s gone and the details are off and nothing is coming out like it’s supposed to. You still have this perfect picture of the scene in your head, but it won’t come out into your paper. Why won’t you do the thing, words? What is your problem? Why have you forsaken me? WOOOOOOOOOOORDDDS?!?!?!

- Asshole Readers (Most Of Which You’re Not Allowed To Call Assholes Without Losing A Reader)

I feel like asshole readers fall into two categories and both are a pain for different reasons and I’ve got stories to go along with both.

So, first category: the outright asshole. I don’t mean the trolls who get off on being a dick, I mean the ones come at you, spouting venom, and acting like all their hateful words are supposed to, somehow, “help” you. For instance, waaaaay back (like 6 years ago) when I posted the first, not very good, draft of MoI I got a PM from a guy who had read through chapter 14 (about 60,000 words) and said “I’ve read through what you have posted and I feel like I wasted my time because you’re not putting any sex in. This is really bad. If you don’t have any sex in the story, it’s not a good story. Your writing would be so much better with sex in it. You should write a story with me because I write great sex scenes and you’ll learn something.” -very deep sigh- I could rant for hours about this guy, and how his response to my “thanks but no thanks” was even worse, but I will spare all of you from it. This, paraphrased as it is, speaks for itself I think. Please keep in mind that that draft was only on FFN…which doesn’t allow explicit smut and will delete fics with detailed making out. Now allow the soul crushing “you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me” feeling to grow. Please.

Second category: the “I’m not sure if you are purposefully being an asshole or not” asshole. This reader approaches as a fan, seems delighted to be in touch with you, and then…something happens. And you’re not certain if it’s a calculated thing or if they were just careless with their words and you’re over invested in your work, but it fucks you up nonetheless and, every time you think about it, it upsets you again. Usually, this seems to happen with readers being like “have you considered writing -insert thing here-? I think you’d be really good at it” and you consider it and decide “yeah, this would be fun to write”. So you write the fic, you post it, you tell the person “hey, I wrote the thing you suggested” and they just…never get back to you? Ever? And, if the fic is pretty niche and not something a lot of people are interested in, that kinda makes it even worse? Because, now, you’ve got this fic hanging around that no one likes and was written for a ghost that might exist but maybe you dreamed the entire fucking convo and now what the hell do you do with it? Was it intentional? Was it not? This is like conspiracy theory level paranoia-inducing stuff.

Continuing on from the second one, just…watch your words when you’re talking about a writer’s work. You might not have meant to insult my work, but I cannot read your thoughts through a computer screen. A while back I was approached about MoI (that fic has so many crazy stories attached to it) and, as anyone who has read it knows: the pair is a bi dude and a bi chick and they are bad at emotions. So this reader and I are chatting and they’re really nice and we end up chatting on and off for over a week…and then I bring up that I’m really proud of myself for recently getting better at writing romance and displaying it physically, which will be really useful in the fic’s sequels…to which they replied “well, I’m gay so I don’t care about stuff like that LOL” and changed the subject. Maybe it was a joke? Maybe it was a “I’m just reading for the story and not the romance”? But it really bothered me. This is gonna sound dumb, but I think about it almost every day and it’s been about a year since then. And every time someone reads without commenting or without liking it or I post something for someone that gets ignored, all I can think of is “I don’t care”. I’m not saying this to make you feel sorry for me or to be dramatic, just to warn you: never tell a writer—or anyone with a very specific interest that means a lot to them—that you don’t care. Even as a joke. It’s cruel and that’s the one thing that will stick with them even if they meet other people who love their writing or the thing they’re interested in. Anytime they’re snubbed or someone reacts unenthusiastically, all they will think is that it’s another person saying “I don’t care”. And, if they already have a hard time trusting people, this is going to fuck up relationships with other people, too. Just…think before you say something. You don’t know what harm you could do by being careless.

- Lying About Fic Trades

Usually, when you think of a fic trade, you think of two writers writing something for each other, but there is another kind, as well. This is when two writers like each other’s work and really need an outside opinion on their work and so they swap fics with the purpose of the other looking for errors and things to fix to help each other out. And this is what I’m referring to. When people are honest about wanting to do them, it’s really nice. You both get interesting opinions and thoughts you might not usually get if you only have one usual beta reader (like me). What pisses me off is when people claim to want to do this, but really have no intention of reading your work and are just using you as a beta reader. What’s funny is, I love beta reading and will totally help you out if you’re up front about what you want and I have time. You don’t have to lie to me and make me no longer want to be your friend just because you didn’t feel comfortable asking for editing help.

- Review/Like Karma

I just…really don’t like when people come up to me and are like “I reviewed and faved your fic five seconds ago so why haven’t you done the same for me yet?” Chances are, if you give me a fave/kudos and/or a review, I will immediately check out your profile to both see what fics you have and if you have anything interesting in your favourites. If one of your fics catches my eye, I’ll read it and react as I feel is appropriate. You don’t need to harass me into reading your story. If I’ve read it and am not responding, it’s because I’m not into it and I don’t want to be rude OR I don’t have the spoons for interaction today. If you harass me, 90% chance I will not read your fics unless by accident. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Don’t be a dick.

- “Do You Have A Book Done Yet? One Of You Own Ideas?  When Are You Going To Get Published And Be Like JK Rowling?”

Okay, I lied, I am calling someone out by name: I’m calling out my entire immediate family (with the exception of one person, who’s on Tumblr, and doesn’t do this). That up there are direct quotes. I get these at least once a month, mostly from my immediate family and it is one of the worst feelings? I always have a lot of projects going on because I can’t stand to be not working on something. So the constant “are you finished with something? Are you gonna get published soon?” is really stressful. Like…how am I supposed to keep a level head and put out a good product if I’m sitting here, feeling like a failure and like I’m disappointing people for not getting published? My relationship with my original stories are really rocky. I can’t just work on them if I’m not in the right headspace…how the fuck am I supposed to get there if I’m sitting there stressed about not just being published but being successfully published? First off, JK Rowling’s dividends are an outlier, not the norm. Most writers live below the poverty line because 1) you get very little from being published unless you are very, very lucky and 2) people seem to think it’s okay to pirate books instead of buying them which is literally killing well established series. Yes, folks, it’s not publishers killing long-standing series, it’s dicks who think “stealing is acceptable because I can’t afford this luxury item at this second and I declare that I should have it so fuck the creator getting the money they need to live”. Secondly, “one of your own ideas” is quite possibly the worst way to describe original fiction. You think I didn’t sit here, plotting out every fucking chapter of this novel-length fanfic? You think this isn’t my story, my baby, my writing, my ideas? GTFO. Get out of my house. Unfollow me now. I work on this fanfic more than most writers work on their originals in one day. This is my story as much as any original story is. You do not get to disrespect my work just because someone else wrote the original world first. I am done with this bullshit.

Anyway. Moving on before I start challenging people to fights….

Writing Pet Peeves As A Reader (in order from least to worst)

- Sloppiness

I’m sure someone’s going to read that and be like “Rae, wtf? That’s rude” but I don’t mean “you’ve worked on this fic for months and have 1 (one) typo in 30k words and now I will never read your work again”. I mean, like,  “you worked on this chapter for an hour, didn’t spell check it, the paragraphs are all smooshed together so no one can read a damn thing, and there isn’t a single consistent detail in this entire fic”. Usually, I’m very forgiving when it comes to errors (unless I’m editing them), but…like…please run this through spell checker? Check to make sure your paragraphs are spaced apart? Do not post 5 minutes after you finished writing the chapter? Seriously, the best thing you can do for a story after finishing it is to set it aside for a while and not touch it. You’ll pick up all the stuff you learned from writing the later bits and be able to make the earlier chapters look lovely will make the readers happy.

(Note: I’m only aiming this at people for whom English is their first language.)

- “This Thing Is Bad But I’m Gonna Write It Like It’s Good And No One Will Notice It’s Bad, Right?”

This happens so often and I just…ugh. It seems like the main theme people use in this is the “person A raped person B and person B got off so it wasn’t really rape” or “person A and person B barely know each other, person A tries to seduce person B and person B resists. Person A rapes them. Somehow this turns into a romance and they live happily ever after”. And the writer never addresses that this is not right. Never. This sends such a bad message to people. It’s telling people that “it’s okay if you’re raped, your rapist loves you and this wasn’t a traumatic experience at all because they did it because they love you so much”. This isn’t true. Writing about a terrible thing and not addressing how terrible it is doesn’t somehow make it a good thing. Nor does it take away the fact that someone was suffering and you ignored it.

- The Writer Is So Meek How Are They Posting This??? (Someone Get A Blankie And Something Nice To Drink And Give Them A Hug.)

This isn’t something that makes me mad at the writer, it makes me mad at their readers. I have met so many good writers who have been so badly bullied and cut down by their so-called fans that they are just…how do they have the willpower to post? Writers who are so talented, but are so afraid of going against a single thing their fans say that they never can reach their full potential because their readers won’t let them. How do you do that to a person? How can you act so abusive and not realise that your behaviour is toxic and oppressive? You’re hurting someone who just wants to make you happy and…for what? To have say over what they post? It’s disgusting. If you do this, you should be ashamed of yourself.

- That Point Where Greed And Lack Of Care For The Material Meet And Somehow Coalesced Into A Single Shitty Book

And now we reach the point where I will drop your story in a fuckin’ heart beat if you do this. This one is more common in published work based on other media (ie books for video games/movies). I hate, hate, buying a novel and realising, not even a chapter in, that the writer isn’t interested in their characters or the world or anything. The novel has the consistency problems I would usually be okay with forgiving in an online fic, but is presenting it snobbishly and makes it clearly known this is just a cheap grab for money they don’t even seem to want. No love for the writing, no interest in their work, and all I can think is: why are you writing this? You don’t want to be writing this any more than I want to be reading it. And the book is never good. Never. It’s just…bad all around.

- Pretentiousness And Assholery

Have you ever gone onto a fic that was really hyped and well-received and you were excited to read, only to realise the writer’s an elitist prick that is using the space intended for sharing their work to scream incoherently for pages about how much of a better writer they are than the canon writers and how they’re going to fix the canon writers’ fuck ups and “look at how great I am” that, by the time you got to the end of their pages of bitching and the beginning of their fic, you want to just throw your computer/phone/tablet out a window? And then you realise, at the bottom of the chapter, they have another author’s note of equal length? Better yet, have you ever looked up reviews for a novel only to see the writer screaming at fans in response to every negative review like a small child not getting the toy they wanted? Do yourselves a favour: don’t bother with these people. They are the absolute worst and don’t give a fuck about anything but their ego and how much you can boost it. They aren’t worth it. I have dropped so many writers for this, it’s not even funny. It’s one of the few things I just...can’t separate the writer and their work over.

Bonus: Censorship From The Fans

I’m going to preface this by, once again, stating that censorship does not include wanting things to be tagged correctly. Censorship is someone with power saying “I don’t like this thing and no one else should, either”. Censorship of literature is anyone with any kind of power (and, if you have followers on social media you are in this group) saying “I don’t like this book because I: a) don’t agree with its message, b) don’t like the writer, or c) didn’t read it but thought the summary sounded sketchy and am deciding I know more than the writer. And, any one of you that reads this or enjoys this is to be shamed and humiliated and abused along with the writer for the rest of time.” Which, maybe you’re not saying word for word, but that’s essentially what you’re promoting. If you have a following, you have a large group of people that is looking to you. How you act influences them. If you sit here, shaming people for their books, then you are an asshole. If you projecting to your followers that they should shame everyone who likes that book, you are even worse. What you post, what you write, what you encourage others to do, that is on your hands. You are responsible for any harm that comes from that. And censoring media to the point where people are receiving death threats over it is disgusting. And if that shit’s being started because you started it, you need to stop and take a look at yourself. No one should be getting death threats over a fucking book. (If you’re interested in seeing a video relating to this topic, you might want to look here: Link )

Thank you for listening to me ramble, to anyone who has made it this far. If you have any thoughts, anything you want to add or debate, feel free to respond. Thanks for your time.

[junker-town]

A comprehensive timeline of Cristiano Ronaldo’s sexual assault case

Photo by Gabriele Maltinti/Getty Images

Constantly updating the key dates from the alleged incident in 2009 to present day.

Cristiano Ronaldo has been accused of sexual assault by Kathryn Mayorga, who has opened up a lawsuit against the soccer player stemming from a 2009 incident in Las Vegas. Mayorga’s attorney claims she was coerced into a non-disclosure agreement (NDA) shortly following the incident, and that the NDA should now be legally considered void.

Mayorga told her story to German outlet Der Spiegel on September 29 before filing a civil claim against Ronaldo, seeking to void the NDA she signed in 2010. The Las Vegas police department has also reopened its criminal investigation. Ronaldo and his attorneys have denied Mayorga and Der Spiegel’s claims.

This is a timeline of the important events in the story, from 2009 to present day.

June 13, 2009: Kathryn Mayorga reports rape to police, doesn’t identify Cristiano Ronaldo by name

Mayorga contacted Las Vegas police at 2:16 p.m. the afternoon following her assault. She told the dispatcher that she did not want to identify her assailant because he was a public figure. Police drove her to a local hospital, where she had a rape kit examination.

January 12, 2010: Ronaldo, Mayorga’s lawyers agree to terms of NDA

Mayorga, her attorney, and attorneys for Cristiano Ronaldo sign an out-of-court settlement. Both parties agree to not discuss the incident in a non-disclosure agreement, and Ronaldo’s team agrees to pay Mayorga $375,000. Ronaldo is not present at the signing of the agreement.

April 19, 2017: Der Spiegel publishes allegations against Ronaldo

Eight years later, Der Spiegel publishes its first report about the accusations of rape against Ronaldo. The German outlet claims that it got the documents outlining the allegations from Football Leaks, which up until that point had primarily focused on unveiling the financial secrets of soccer. In that report, Mayorga is identified by the pseudonym “Susan K.”, as she had made it clear in both police reports and settlement documents that she wished to keep her identity secret.

September 29, 2018: Mayorga comes forward with her story

A year and a half after Der Spiegel’s first story about Ronaldo, Mayorga decided to reveal her identity and tell her side of the story. This happened in conjunction with Der Spiegel and Football Leaks discovering more documents pertaining to the case and subsequent settlement. In the story, Mayorga gives a graphic description of her assault.

Der Spiegel claims to have acquired a questionnaire from Ronaldo’s attorneys that Ronaldo filled out, in which he allegedly says “she said no and stop several times.”

Ronaldo threatens to sue Der Spiegel

Within hours of the story’s publication, Ronaldo’s lawyer Christian Schertz called the story “blatantly illegal” and said it was “an inadmissible reporting of suspicions in the area of privacy.” He said Ronaldo would seek compensation from the outlet.

September 30, 2018: Der Spiegel editor responds with details of reporting

Following Schertz’s legal threat, Der Spiegel’s sports editor Christoph Winterbach posts a 25-tweet thread detailing the reporting that his team did to ensure the accuracy of their story. It includes screenshots of documents mentioned in the article.

This is a thread about the rape allegations vs. @Cristiano: About our research @derSpiegel, about Ronaldo's reaction and a little insight into why the alleged victim Kathryn Mayorga speaks out about the case nine years later. This is the story btw: https://t.co/fwv26PhCSx 1/24

— Christoph Winterbach (@derWinterbach) September 30, 2018

October 1, 2018: Mayorga sues Ronaldo, seeking to void NDA

Mayorga’s new lawyer, Leslie Mark Stovall, claims that she had inadequate representation in 2009 and 2010, and was bullied into settling. He files a lawsuit in Clark County, Nevada, seeking to have the 2010 settlement and NDA voided.

October 2, 2018: Las Vegas police reopen case

Las Vegas police confirm that they investigated a rape complaint in June of 2009, but could not follow through because “the victim did not provide detectives with the location of the incident or suspect description.” With Mayorga now willing to give details, the case has been reopened.

October 3, 2018: Ronaldo issues his public denial

I firmly deny the accusations being issued against me. Rape is an abominable crime that goes against everything that I am and believe in. Keen as I may be to clear my name, I refuse to feed the media spectacle created by people seeking to promote themselves at my expense.

— Cristiano Ronaldo (@Cristiano) October 3, 2018

My clear conscious will thereby allow me to await with tranquillity the results of any and all investigations.

— Cristiano Ronaldo (@Cristiano) October 3, 2018

October 4, 2018: Ronaldo left out of Portugal squad

Portugal coach Fernando Santos confirms that Ronaldo would not play for Portugal for the rest of 2018, ruling him out of November’s matches as well. Santos refuses to confirm or deny that Ronaldo was omitted due to the allegations against him.

Ronaldo sponsors express concern; Juventus does not

Two of Ronaldo’s biggest sponsors, Nike and EA Sports, prepare to distance themselves from Ronaldo.

Exclusive: Nike 'deeply concerned' by Cristiano Ronaldo rape claims. Statement to @AP from Ronaldo's biggest sponsor: "we are deeply concerned by the disturbing allegations and will continue to closely monitor the situation."https://t.co/dwdQ7SnfNQ

— Rob Harris (@RobHarris) October 4, 2018

NEW from Ronaldo sponsor @EA Sports. “We have seen the concerning report that details allegations against Cristiano Ronaldo. We are closely monitoring the situation, as we expect cover athletes and ambassadors to conduct themselves in a manner that is consistent with EA's values"

— Rob Harris (@RobHarris) October 3, 2018

His club, Juventus, takes a different and rather callous position.

.@Cristiano Ronaldo has shown in recent months his great professionalism and dedication, which is appreciated by everyone at Juventus. 1/1

— JuventusFC (@juventusfcen) October 4, 2018

The events allegedly dating back to almost 10 years ago do not change this opinion, which is shared by anyone who has come into contact with this great champion. 2/2

— JuventusFC (@juventusfcen) October 4, 2018

October 10, 2018 — Ronaldo’s lawyer claims documents were fabricated

Peter Christensen, who Ronaldo hired to represent him in 2009, releases a statement claiming that documents cited in Der Spiegel’s story are not authentic.

The statement is in Portuguese. Below, a rough translation via Google Translate:

The documents that allegedly contain statements by Cristiano Ronaldo and were reproduced in the media are pure inventions.

By 2015 dozens of entities (including law firms) in different parts of Europe were attacked and saw a lot of information on their electronic equipment being stolen by a hacker. This hacker then tried to sell such information, having now a media outlet, irresponsibly publishing some of the stolen documents, significant parts of which were altered and/or completely forged.

This was refuted a day later in a Twitter thread by Der Spiegel sports editor Christoph Winterbach.

There was a statement released yesterday, on behalf of @Cristiano #Ronaldo, concerning the rape allegations and our reporting at @derSpiegel. #CR7's lawyer claimed that we quoted manipulated documents in our story. This is our answer. 1/11

— Christoph Winterbach (@derWinterbach) October 11, 2018

Portuguese outlet claims Real Madrid forced Ronaldo to settle; club will sue

Portuguese outlet Correio da Manha runs a story claiming that Real Madrid forced Ronaldo to agree to a settlement and non-disclosure agreement with Mayorga. Real Madrid says that this is false and promises to take legal action against the outlet.

January 9, 2018 — Jasmine Lennard comes forward with allegations against Ronaldo.

British model Jasmine Lennard detailed abuse by Ronaldo, saying she has messages and examples of times she was harassed and bullied by him.

Hundreds of messages I have of him taking and laughing about how he psychologically bullies the shit out of his baby mother and treats her like crap. Messages about all the times he’s cheated on her. Stories of sexual conquests that mirror Mayorga’s. In depth convos where he

— QUEEN OF THE DAMNED (@Jasminelennard) January 8, 2019

Acknowledges and shares about having SERIOUS mental health issues. All the LIES surrounding his children and their baby mothers. He’s a BULLY and he’s a LIAR. His whole life is a LIE. Fucking psychopath.

— QUEEN OF THE DAMNED (@Jasminelennard) January 8, 2019

I have had threats against me and my family I have been informed that a file was created on me to try and dig up dirt and that myself and my child are being being followed by detectives he hired. It’s enough.

— QUEEN OF THE DAMNED (@Jasminelennard) January 8, 2019

Told me if I dated anyone else or if I left my house he’d have me kidnapped and have my body cut up and put in a bag and thrown in a river. Yes I have proof of everything I’m saying. He’s a psychopath. https://t.co/SEXdys4JUs

— QUEEN OF THE DAMNED (@Jasminelennard) January 8, 2019

Lennard reached out to Mayorga’s legal team offering her evidence, which she believed could help their care.

On that note and after much thought i am reaching out to Kathryn Mayorga and her legal team to offer my assistance in her rape allegation against @Cristiano please contact me. I have information that I believe will be beneficial to your case and I would like to help you.

— QUEEN OF THE DAMNED (@Jasminelennard) January 8, 2019

January 10, 2019 — Investigators seek Ronaldo DNA sample.

The Las Vegas metropolitan police department asks Italian authorities to collect a DNA sample from Ronaldo to aid in their investigation. “The LVMPD is taking the same steps in this case as in any other sexual assault to facilitate the collection of DNA evidence,” said a police department spokesperson.

January 15, 2019 — Mayorga’s lawyers confirm they’ll speak with Lennard

Six days after Lennard’s accusations on social media and her offer of information to Mayorga’s team, an attorney for Mayorga confirms to USA Today that they’ll be meeting with Lennard and her representatives.

“I can confirm that Leslie Mark Stovall has spoken to Ms. Leonard regarding Cristiano Ronaldo,” Larissa Drohobyczer, an attorney at Stovall & Associates, said in an email. “Mr. Stovall’s travel to London England will be based upon his discussions with London lawyer Jonathan Coad and his client Jasmine Lennard.”

March 12, 2019 — Ronaldo yet to be served notice of lawsuit

Sam Borden of ESPN reports that Mayorga’s lawsuit has stalled because her attorney has found it difficult to serve him without him coming to the United States.

While the criminal investigation slogs on, Mayorga’s civil suit against Ronaldo has stalled as well. That is primarily because Ronaldo has still not officially been served notice of the lawsuit. Serving a lawsuit to someone who lives abroad is a tricky process that requires following rules set forth in international treaties, and Ronaldo has not authorized his American attorney to accept on his behalf ... Stovall and his associates have been unsuccessful serving Ronaldo in Italy. The initial 120-day period expired at the beginning of February, and Stovall has filed a motion asking the court to grant an extension and to allow service by leaving the paperwork at Juventus’ training center or via public notification.

July 22, 2019 — Clark County will not pursue criminal charges

The Clark County district attorney’s office releases a statement that it does not have sufficient evidence to bring charges against Ronaldo. Its statement says that Mayorga’s reluctance to identify her attacker when she first reported the incident caused potential evidence to be lost.

@LasVegasDA Declines to Prosecute 10-year-old Sexual Assault Allegation Against Cristiano Ronaldo. @ClarkCountyNV pic.twitter.com/XXdc8D9Plk

— Clark County DA (@LasVegasDA) July 22, 2019

This timeline will be updated as more information becomes available.

[sightful-tangents]

july 22, 2017

It’s been an interesting week. 

1. I started the week in a huge funk. One of those bad brain funks, and I’ll be honest I was in one last week as well. I try and describe it as a mix of restlessness and kind of numbness, I wouldn’t necessarily call it anxiety or depression, but I just feel unhappy and desperate and kind of stuck. And homesick.

2. I try and be self-aware of my problems, and I also try and address my problems. I also kind of recognize it when I start spiralling (in which it felt as if, minus a few lapses here or there, I’d been spiralling for a couple weeks), so I try and correct it. I think I overcorrected, because when I’m in this type of funk, I kind of grasp for control. And the way I did this was to set up a goal to wakeup at 7 and start work at 8 (basically an hour earlier than my normal routine), and pack my schedule with lots of things/people (and I really try never to flake, so later-in-the-week me sometimes resent early-in-the-week me’s plans). Sometimes it’s only upon reflection that these goals I make aren’t exactly arbitrary, but maybe a bit about being in control of my body and dragging it through the week in an exhausted state because lols what is self care.

3. So like, I’m doing this morning routine where I’m exhausted, and since I’ve been so busy I haven’t done groceries and so I’ve got very little food and too much coffee, and this isn’t exactly the greatest combination. So my body kind of feels numb and tired (and I hate the numbness feeling. Hate it.) Anyways, I’m kind of curious about the fact that the way I deal with brain funks is to fuck with my body, but huh, the more you know about yourself…

4. So Monday goes by, I text dude I’d been seeing that I didn't really want to see him anymore (I know, worst) but I agree to meet up with him later that evening to talk things out because it’s definitely the right thing to do. He’s super nice and good about it, thankfully. I then Skype my best friend back home just to get a bit of semblance of home since I’m so weirdly homesick.

5. Tuesday I find out my company got this contract that I’ve been working on for over a year. It’s kind of a big deal and I was totally thrilled. I grab dinner with a university friend and we’re talking about dating (lol) and he’s like “oh I saw your online dating profile” (omg let me just kill myself now) but he was also like “I would totally date you except you’re a vegetarian” and that’s got me backtracking real quick because I do NOT want to date this guy and did not want him to get the wrong idea (sigh, my life has too many instances of guys having the wrong idea). So anyways, that’s fun, and now it makes me kind of uncomfortable since I don’t want to mislead him or anything. But, then I find out my friend had adopted a cat so I go over and visit, and the cat is absolutely adorable, guys. I’m so happy.

6. Wednesday, I get a message on the worst business social networking site (won’t name names here) but it’s from a cofounder of a company and he was reaching out to set up an intro phone call about maybe doing some consulting work, and I later chatted with him in the afternoon and it sound really promising. I’m actually really excited about it, but I know there are few more hoops to jump through before this is something that will actually happen (basically, we’ll start around 5-10 hours a week, just to trial run and see if we’re a good fit), but I really want to work with this company and I think I can do a good job. Cue all the insecurities about my actual skills though. We’re having another phone call next Wednesday to discuss rates and work and ahhh I hope it goes well. Also, I went to (or more like, invited myself to) my friend’s apartment buildling BBQ where I got a free veg burger and got to hang out with one of my fave friends. Then went and met up with a different guy I’m kind of dating (don’t you judge me) and had drinks and watched a movie and yadda. 

7. I’m still waking up at 7, guys, and I am fucking exhausted when Thursday comes along. So on Thursday the weather is fucking annoying, because I’d walked to a cafe about 30 mins away from my house (considerably far) in the morning and it was beautiful but around 11 it started pouring rain (totally did NOT see it coming), and the most annoying bit is that I’m wearing Toms canvas shoes so obviously they’d get soaked. But then my boss calls me and asks to meet (I try and postpone the meeting, as well as ask him to do a phone meeting, but he insists on meeting in person) so I trek out, about 20 mins walk, and of course, shoes are soaked. BUT, hey, good news… I got a raise and we talked a lot about my role in the company. The raise is nice (and expected, as I had hoped for, since I had joked about it during the year-long contract process that if we won it, I’d want a raise). But to be honest, I’ve been looking into other jobs recently (see point number 6) and I’m kind of ready for a change, so I’m a little apprehensive of the roles my boss sees me in. I don’t know if he senses this in me as well, but he’s really nice about things and he’s always like “we’ll get you on projects that you find interesting, and make sure you’re happy” so maybe he knows I’m slightly over it lol. In the evening, I meet up with my old roommate for dinner (she asks me exactly 2 questions about myself. I’ve realized over the years how… either not good at conversation, or maybe just self-centred she is?). I go home and do laundry, and I also buy a beautiful painting I found second hand online for $30, and I am over the moon. The painting is kind of abstract-isa, but it is so “me”, totally the type of shit I love. I also have been avoiding decorating my room for nearly 2 years since I moved in (minus the postcards) since I’d assumed I’d be moving soon, but I’d put “wall art” on my Wishlist (there’s literally only 6 things on my 2017 Wishlist). I’m so, so glad I bought it though, it makes me very happy. Also, chatted with my mom and then had a nice convo with her boyfriend, who’s a senior project manager and I wanted his advice about #6. It was kind of shocking because he told me to set my hourly rate at an outrageous number (lol, thanks for having so much faith in me), but it really got me thinking and I think I will be asking for a (slightly less) outrageous number so really, we’ll see where this goes. Still excited about this opportunity, but I know I gotta do some prep work. Oh, and yes, this is a long-ass day and I’d been up since 7 (maybe running on 5 hrs sleep and too many coffees? My body is dead at this point).

8. Welcome to Friday, and another 7am start. I saw on a video somewhere about how someone had framed consulting work as a leisurely pace with a few sprints throughout the year, and it is how you handle the sprints that really shows how well you work, and fuck it man, it feels like I’ve been sprinting all week. But anyways, starting work early, and we’ve got several new projects coming in and it’s gonna get kinda cray in the future. I’d originally planned on taking my friend out for lunch for her birthday, but she was feeling sick so we ordered mcdonalds (lol, her choice, go for it). Then I had a client meeting and I had initially planned on ending my day after (around 2ish) since I was so tired, but I then had a long meeting with my boss as we’re finalizing more things (although I did get to sit in on several interesting business-y/politic-y meetings which is always fun, since my boss is quite well connected). Anyways, I’m reviewing contracts at 4pm and tired and hungry and finally go home at 5, hang my painting, and nap. Then groceries (finally??), then just crashing so early because my body is so tired and my brain is trying to handle all the different thins happening and juggle different shit in my life. And I sleep for 8.5 hours and it is glorious.

9. So, in summary, it’s been a good week I guess? In the sense that I’d gotten good and interesting news and my friend got a cat and I got a painting and the dude I’m seeing is quote-unquote “not terrible” (my gradation of guys is essentially: no, eh, okay, not terrible, fine). But I got very little sleep, drank too much coffee, am fighting a brain funk, am still homesick (but maybe a little less), I’ve got my friend’s bday party/gathering/whatever today and plans with a friend Sunday… I knew I had completely packed my calendar this week (is it because if I think I’m busy all the time I won’t have time to deal with my brain? Or do I think hanging out with friends will make me feel way better, although I know I’m an introvert at heart? Because let’s face it, vegging out on Friday night was the best fucking decision I made) so I might take it a bit more easy next week (doubtful) and a LOT of upcoming work (as always) but yeah. I don’t really know where I’m going with this. I don’t often write long-ass entries but it’s 9am on Saturday and I’m feeling much more rested than I’ve felt in a long time. 

Time for breakfast.

[miyaio]

Seeing as you have (as far as I can tell) the sole het in Laslow and Peri, do you have any headcanons about what Peri!Soleil would act like?

finally have a moment to sit down and answer this properly, so...

i have a lot of miscellaneous hcs abt peri!soleil and her relationship w/peri from both perspectives!  peri is definitely my default fates parent for soleil, so when i think abt things that might’ve happened in soleil’s life as she grew up (babyrealms??  never heard of them) or influences on her personality, it’s w/peri in mind.

- i like to think that one of the “couple of gals who taught [her] to cook” was, in fact, peri.  i have a bunch of maudlin hcs abt the role of the kitchen as a physical/emotional place in the peri/laslow + soleil family that are probably at embarrassing levels of extrapolation.  teaching soleil to cook is textually very important to peri (see their matsuri dlc convo), and soleil’s not too shabby at it from a gameplay perspective.  i think that the image of her mother as her teacher in this respect is how soleil sees peri first and foremost, and that means a lot to peri.  __(:3_/  they still cook together a lot when soleil’s older, and laslow gets in on it as well.  

- taking soleil’s general characterization as someone who will unashamedly seek out help if she feels she’s lacking in some respect in tandem w/peri!soleil in the matsuri dlc being portrayed as someone who actually gets frustrated p easily, i like to think that soleil grew into that go-getter attitude thanks to her early experiences cooking w/peri.  it was her first big endeavor as a kid, and she took it really hard that she wasn’t Immediately as good as peri.  i don’t think it’s unreasonable to read post-what little development she gets!peri as a mother who’s constantly looking out for all those “teachable moments” in soleil’s life that she had no one to guide her through in her own life.  so it’s nice to think abt the two of them growing together, in that sense, esp since soleil’s drive for self-improvement is one of my fav aspects of her character.

- soleil has the gradient hair, i will accept nothing less.  i’d like to think it’s a Thing on peri’s side of the family, due to anime genetics or what have you.  i could go for soleil dyeing her hair to match peri’s, i guess--it’s just not as fun or in line w/my love of gradient hair.  she doesn’t have the heterochromia, tho, which peri is privately relieved abt.  (one of her few non-creepy myroom lines in the jpn script specifically mentions she’s self-conscious abt it, and that’s why she hides her green eye)

- i like the idea that soleil wears her hair so long despite being such a jock b/c she’s proud of matching her mom.  __(:3_/  this is also a hc i favor for azura!soleil, fwiw.

- regardless of her variable parent, soleil is always going to look more like laslow/inigo in terms of general facial structure and body type.  she gets a lot of little things from peri, like the long, dramatic eyelashes (even w/o badly-applied mascara), the shape of her mouth, some lil dimples, and a long neck.  soleil is a bit taller than peri imo (5′9″ vs 5′6″ and some change), which makes her feel v cool b/c she likes being taller than most women in general.

- soleil actually wanted to be a cavalier like peri at first, which made peri (understandably) very apprehensive.  she never went through w/it b/c the discipline level of the formal training (which peri never really got) kind of turned her off.  she’s much more of a freewheeling sort, tho that’s not to say she doesn’t take her training seriously.  in any event, soleil does know how to ride a horse, and she’s quite good at it.  flying gives her nasty vertigo, but she loves to ride peri’s horse.  tbh since peri’s family is apparently so old and rich on top of soleil being the daughter of the king’s chief retainers, she probably has her own horse.

- to an extent, peri is more of the Discipline Parent (tm) to laslow’s Fun Parent (tm) in soleil’s mind.  this is a hc that the peri-soleil matsuri dlc definitely solidified for me.  i can’t for the life of me see laslow as being very comfortable w/disciplining his kid(s), based on how deep of a shock his yelling at soleil in their b support is to both of them.  otoh, based on what scraps of decent characterization we get for peri, i wasn’t really sure how she’d handle it, either.  her odin support and her solo ending suggest that she does actually make a pretty good leader, but disciplining yr kid is another thing entirely.  

- in the matsuri dlc, tho, peri outright says that she wants to be there to “scold” and redirect soleil if she does s/t wrong, as peri herself never had that after her mother’s murder and her father’s total shutdown in response.  imo peri can be stern w/soleil if she has to, but she’s also big on redirecting negative emotions/actions into positives, based on her odin supports.  the older soleil gets, the more she respects this approach and its role in her overall relationship w/her mother.

- this isn’t really Deep, i just think it’s funny that soleil was canonically a picky eater as a kid in the context of having the best chef in the cast as her mom www  maybe peri cooked a bunch of high-brow gourmet food for little soleil, who just wanted ye olde mcdonalds?  soleil specifically says she disliked vegetables, and that laslow helped her get over it, which makes me wonder if peri likes them a lot.  maybe they have the cooked vs raw carrots debate going on or s/t lmao  otoh, soleil seems to be a lowkey food snob, according to some of her other dining hall quotes, so maybe peri’s standards did rub off on her a bit?

- they have the same sword in their portraits, which is probably unintentional.  i’d like to think it’s the same sword at different points in time, tho.

- soleil got into hair ribbons/headbands b/c of peri--the two of them have very similar taste in clothing in general.  i know soleil is a Hot Futch Jock and all, but you can’t convince me she wouldn’t love ruffles and frills as much as peri seems to.  peri knows that soleil’s favorite headband is a keepsake from laslow’s mother, and wishes she had s/t from her own mother to pass down to soleil.

- ngl i get Emotional over peri having a daughter specifically.  peri’s is actually a case where (if she’d been taken seriously) i think motherhood-as-closure is a good aspect of a female character’s arc.  soleil evidently doesn’t know too much abt either of her parents’ pasts, as evidenced by her surprise at laslow telling her abt the deaths of olivia and his father.  this is a conscious choice on peri and laslow’s part, and while laslow does tell soleil more when the time is right, peri doesn’t go into quite as much detail.  soleil knows her maternal grandma was murdered, but not a whole lot more than that, and it’s likely recent knowledge.  after hearing that, i think she’d come to understand a little more why their mother-daughter dynamic is so precious to peri.

i could go on and on abt this silliness, so if yr interested in hearing more for whatever reason, just lmk................

[sartle-blog]

Anti-Valentine’s Day

There are a lot of reasons to be upset recently. The changing political climate, immigrants being denied entry to our country, learning that Lady Gaga didn’t actually jump off the roof at the Super Bowl half time, and now to top it all off that one day a year designed to remind people how lonely they really are is upon us. Yes, the day of love letters, roses, and cheap heart shaped box chocolates is right around the corner. You may be thinking, I snagged me a Valentine this year so maybe things aren’t so bad. Well, I am here to remind you that even the most doting of relationships can turn sour.

Some say that artists feel emotions stronger than the average bloke, hence why they feel so compelled to tell their story by any means necessary. If that is the case, we can only assume they love hard, and hate even harder. We at Sartle love a juicy breakup story and if time had taught us anything it is this: the worse the relationship, the better the art. So here’s to some great art and terrible relationships!

Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera

When thinking about bad artist relationships, the Frida and Diego fiasco always seems to find its way into the convo; probably because their relationship was all kinds of messed up. To give you a taste for what their relationship was like, listen to this gem of a quote from Kahlo, “I suffered two grave accidents in my life. One in which a streetcar knocked me down…The other accident is Diego.” If you openly admit that your husband is one of the great mistakes of your life, you might want to reevaluate your life decisions.  

Where do I even start with these two? They met in 1928 and a year later were hitched. Besides the fact that Diego was almost twice her age, this was his third marriage, which probably should have been a red flag for young Frida, but when the heart wants what it wants, common sense goes out the window. It only took two years for the affairs to begin and honestly, they never really stopped. They both had endless lovers, sometimes out of desire, and sometimes they just did it to piss the other one off. Why Diego decided to cheat on Frida with her little sister though will continue to remain a mystery.

Not surprisingly the two divorced, but ultimately ended up marrying again just one year later. Needless to say, nothing really changed and they returned to their tumultuous ways until Kahlo’s death fourteen years later.

Frida and Diego Rivera by Frida Kahlo, San Francisco Museum of Modern Art

Camille Claudel and Auguste Rodin

Sometimes it can feel as though our relationships are driving us crazy. In the case of Camille Claudel though, that is literally what happened after spending a bit too much time obsessing over the famed sculptor Auguste Rodin. Shortly after beginning her sculpting career, Rodin needed an assistant to help expedite his artistic practice, and Claudel was just the woman to do it. It didn’t take long for the two to start lusting after each other and with time, stone was no longer the only thing getting pounded down in that studio. The two shared an intense relationship that fueled their creative outlets as well. It was pretty much perfect, except for one little thing: Rodin was already married.

Claudel pleaded and begged, but Rodin refused to leave his wife…and this is when things started to get ugly. Claudel grew furious, she ain’t nobody’s mistress! As this vengeful side of Claudel began to become apparent to Rodin, he decided that she had become too much baggage for a fun fling and decided to boot her from his life. Claudel soon grew neurotic and experienced a complete breakdown, which landed her in a mental hospital where she lived until her death. That’s amore?    

The Mature Age by Camille Claudel, Orsay Museum

Pablo Picasso and Marie-Thérèse Walter

Since it appears that we have now entered the territory of lovers on the down low, we cannot forget about art history’s biggest playboy/womanizer: Pablo Picasso. Picasso had two marriages, six mistresses, and hundreds of other conquests (and who knows how many venereal diseases). Let’s have a gander at Marie-Thérèse Walter, for her tale is a brutally sad one, and as you know, we’re sticking with the theme that romance is probably dead. This dreamy saga started when Marie-Thérèse was only 17 years old, just a tad younger than Picasso’s 45. At the time their little affaire de coeur started, Picasso was already hitched to Olga Khokhlova, but as we know, the whole sanctity of marriage thing was a bit drab for the salacious artists.

The affair went on for eight years before Olga uncovered his philandering ways and ultimately took their children and skipped town. “Yes!” Marie-Thérèse must have thought “now I have him all to myself”. Wrong, so wrong. She should have known that old habits die hard. His eyes soon wandered to his next lover and muse Dora Maar. Rumor has it that when Marie-Thérèse found out about Dora, the two ladies entered into a physical catfight over the man’s affection. Marie-Thérèse ultimately lost and Picasso threw her out like day old chowder. Nonetheless, Marie-Thérèse never stopped loving him, and after his death, she hung herself out of sorrow.

Nude Woman in a Red Armchair by Pablo Picasso , Tate Britain 

Gustave Courbet, James Whistler, and Joanna Hiffernan

The tale of Gustave Courbet, James Whistler, and Joanna Hiffernan serves as a solid reminder that bros before hoes is actually some pretty good advice. Back in the day, painter James Whistler fell for the vivacious ginger Joanna Hiffernan. Sadly, when introduced to his family, they felt she was too loose and could not approve of his dating her. Turns out they may have been right about the whole hussy thing, but we’ll get to that later. Hiffernan decided to ignore his parents advice and develop what became a six year long relationship in which she both loved and modeled for him.

Whistler had a whole slew of cool artsy friends, one of which included painter Gustave Courbet. Naturally, Whistler introduced him to Jo and it didn’t take long for things to start blowing up. After learning that Courbet probably had an affair with Jo, and that he definitely painted a picture of her vagina, their friendship soon fell into peril. Shocker. Turns out painting an awkwardly up-close painting of your friend’s girlfriend’s hooha is totally against bro code protocol. Their friendship soon ended and ultimately neither of them ended up with Joanna. Turns out Whistler’s parents may have known what they were talking about after all.

Portrait of Jo, the Beautiful Irish Girl by Gustave Courbet, Metropolitan Museum of Art

Love is messy business. Perhaps that is why we invented Valentine’s Day to convince us that the tumultuous desires of the heart are actually a good thing. Or maybe it is just to sell us stuff we don’t need; Hallmark, I got my eye on you. Either way, to all you Valentine’s Day haters out there, I hope this blog has taught you one thing: maybe single life ain’t so bad after all.

By: Jennifer

[icarus-tirade]

4.29.2021

Oh boi, do I have a shit tonight

1.) My mom pissed me off so badly cause HOW ARE YOU GONNA WAIT UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE TO TELL ME THE PLAN FOR PAYING FOR MY HOUSING FOR COLLEGE?! I ASKED FOR THAT SHIR LAST WEEK AND WE WENT THROUGH LIKE A 3 DAY PROCESS (something that should only take 1 day mind you) SO YOU COULD GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!! I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING YOU NEEDED AND YOU HOLD IN YOUR PLAN UNTIL I FUCKING CALL YOU* AND ASK ABOUT IT AND I FIND OUT THAT YOU HAD DAD DOING IT BUT NEVER TOLD HIM THE FUCKING PLAN?! AND THEN HAVE THE GALLLLLL TO ACT RIMID LIKE IT'S NOT YOUR FUXKIN FAULT THAT NO ONE BUT YOU KNOWS THE PLAN!! AND WHY ARE YOU ACTING BRAND NEW??? Usually what happens when I need money for school is, parents put money on my credit card and then I pay for stuff but this time MOM IS TRYING TO PAY DIRECTLY THROUGH THE SCHOOL?! AND NOT INVOLVE ME, which would be fine IF SHE DIDN'T FUXK IT UP COMPLETELY!!! She tells me it's all been taken care of by dad when I call her today and so I ask to talk to dad cause he sent me some snacks and I wanna say thank you right? So after talking to dad about the snacks he asks me for a link to the school so he can pay for the housing... meaning it hasn't been done yet. And I'm like, well... I'll just type out the convo

Dad: I need a link to the payment thing so I can pay for housing

Me: What link?

Dad: You sent me all your info, and thank you for that, but I need the link too. I don't know what to do and where to go

Me still confused: mom asked for that stuff so I sent it, I don't know why she wanted it and I don't know what link you're talking about

So finally dad calls mom into the room because we BOTH don't know what's happening and that's when mom has a small voice all of a sudden and is like "I thought we could just pay through the school" AND SO NOW IM PISSED AND STRESSED CAUSE IM DESPERATELY LOOKING THROUGH MY EMAIL ANS THE SCHOOL WEBISTE FOR A PAY DESTINATION WHILE TRYING TO KEEP THE ANGER OUTTA MY VOICE AND MY ANGRY/STRESSED TEARS AT BAY DURING MY CONVERSATION WITH THEM BECAUSE THEY'RE STILL TALKING TO MEEEE!!! THEN I FIND IT AND THEY ADD THE MONEY TO MY CARD (my card that's in the truck cause I left it outside by accident) so I put them on hold and run around looking for the keys that papa had in his pocket and Jammie is trying to get me to calm down and explain but I'm pissed and stressed so that's just making it worse* so I pay (and send them a picture of the receipt that mom wants cause I guess she don't trust me now even though I've done nothing to deserve this lack of trust with school money so fuxk her) after getting my shit and go back to talking to dad who I don't wanna talk to anymore cause I'm fed up and trying not to cry

2.) YOU*: they usually call me at least once a week but they been mad silent since last week which is no Bueno cause I need to know if I have the money or not to pay for the fucking fee OR if they have paid for it SO FUXKING CALL ME CAUSE I AINT TRYIN TO CALL YOU! THEY ALWAYS LACKIN WHEN IT COMES TO DOING SHIT FOR ME. I asked mom WEEKS ago if she could get a refill on my medicine and so when I check in today she NOW wants to tell me that there's been complications cause I'm 18 so I kinda need to do it. AGAIN I'd be fine with that IF SHE AINT WAIT THIS LONG DURING ALLERGY SEASON!! THIS IS SHIT I GOTTA KNOW SO WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU WAITING THIS LONG TO SAY SOMETHING?!

3.) Worse*: Jammie LOVES to talk about how trash my dad is depressed or bipolar (he's fuckin not so I really wished she'd stop saying that, IM bipolar so I know he's not she doesn't even know what she's talking about and it irritates me). So when she had me explain what's happening and I rant about mom fucking everything up she starts blaming dad??? She says that they planned what to say when I called and how to act and that my dad is orchestrating the whole thing like,,, no? Were you even listening to me??? So I repeat that MOM is acting brand new and dad and I don't understand what's happening but she continues to tell me that it's dad who's the blame. I tell her dad is not the only bad guy and is not ALWAYS the bad guy, I know he's shit alot of times but he's not always bad he was a good dad once and he still has his good dad moments, but she REFUSES to listen to me! And keeps blaming him and I KNOW it's cause she doesn't wanna view mom, he daughter, as a bad person and wants to put all the blame on dad BUT THATS NOT TRUE AND IM TIRED OF HER PRETENDING!! LISTEN TO WHAT THE FUXK IM SAYING AND STOP LIVING IN YOUR DELUSIONS!

4.) Dad and I were talking and it was fine UNTIL HE SAID HIS DUMBASS STATEMENT ABOUT ME BEEING TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE!!! Ever sense I've gotten diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder he's taken that and RAN with it. But he uses it in the sense that sometimes I'm calm and sometimes I'm angry and just negative (disrespectful, argumentive, defiant, indifferent, and rude) BUT THATS NOW WHAT BIPOLAR IS. Its basically on and off depression and mania. But his favorite statement is "I don't know which you I'm getting" LIKE BITCH SHUT THE FUXK UP YOU CANT EVEN TELL WHEN IM SAD EVEN WHEN I HAVE TEARS IN MY EYES YOUR DUMBASS THINKS I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND THEN YOU GET MAD AT ME AND MAKE IT WORSE! He's never said his "favorite statement" UNTILL I got diagnosed so I KNOW IT'S CAP. YOU DONT KNOW ME SO DONT PRETEND YOU UNDERSTAND ME ALL OF A SUDDEN! YOU'RE FAKE AS FUXK! And this was all sparked because I asked if I could watch a show now that I'm 18 and he was like "Wow! She's respectful!" BITCH IVE ALWAYS BEEN RESPECTFUL IM JOT ACTING NEW IM ACTING THE SAME SO WHY ARE YOU TRIPPIN' ??? He said he was surprised I asked because he didn't think I cared about their opinion but literally thats all I cared about!? I acted and behaved in a way that would make them happy and praise me because I constantly wanted validation that I was a good kid, that they loved and cared for me, and that I wasn't a problem and inconvenience because I was alive. SO HE'S FUCKIN STUPID AND THAT PISSED ME OFF AFTER I CALMED DOWN. "I dOnT kNoW wHaT yOu Im GetTiNG" LIKE BITCH AHUT THE FUXK UP!! YOU SOUND MAD STUPID

5.) Broski if you see this, I wanna explain my "cowardice" earlier today. Look bro, I view my rant Tumblr as a diary of some sorts. That's why I changed my little description/bio to a quote joke about Journaling from my therapist cause I view this as my Journaling so I can better manage my feelings and get them out in a way that's not harmful to me. With that being said, announcing "Lets read ______ tumblr" is gonna immediately activate my fight or flight. These rants are private and personal to me. I've literally described it as like take a trip or look into the doors of my mind. Sharing my feelings and opinions are always scary to me because I'm afraid of being looked at in a negative light you know cause childhood trauma. You know I'm afraid to share my feelings bro. Let's uh, go back to the question "How much do you trust your friends" and I trust yall a Hella lot but I don't trust ANYONE 100% with my feelings except me. NO ONE. So with that being said, knowing that'd you he actively reading my rant Tumblr with me there was too much and I didn't like it at all. I find that extremely stressful and it made me wanna instantly draft all my recent shit. The main reason I let you look at this Tumblr is because I DONT KNOW WHEN you're looking at it. You might not see it until weeks later so I don't worry about it, you might forget all about it, but if you tell me you're currently reading it or when you're going to read it, then my anxiety kicks in and I panic and fight the urge to edit everything and hide anything that might stand out as weird or bad to anyone else. So yeah, please never let me know you're about to read my rant Tumblr again unless I tell you to specifically look at a post :) also the reason I didn't text you this was because 1.) I never really planned to explain myself cause I didn't feel like I owed anyone an explanation and it was hard/long to type out or say anyways and 2.) Because of the stuff that happened in sections 1, 2, 3, and 4. I didn't feel like talking to anyone after that.