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gay-david-tennant · 1 year ago

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@theredsky of course i will :) let's just preface it by saying that i'm not an expert in any way and this will probably amount to a aroace mad man's rambling but i will try to make it coherent...

First the definition part: Elizabeth Brake describes amatonormativity as "the widespread assumption that everyone is better off in an exclusive, romantic, long-term coupled relationship, and that everyone is seeking such a relationship." This of course also means putting romantic relationships/feelings on a higher pedestal than any other sort of relationship (see the absolutely dreadful phrase 'just friends'). Heteronormativity is the belief that heterosexuality is the norm and that sexual/romantic relationships are most fitting between man and woman. (Heteronormativity also implies a strict view of gender as a binary).

The one phrase that made me think of this all in the first place is "they would already be together if they were a man and a woman" which we all probably have heard at least once about a same-sex friendship in a story. And this describes the connection between amatonormativity and heteronormativity in media and queerbaiting pretty good. Because most of the time that isn't actually that far from the truth. But the reason why it's pretty accurate is not that the scenes between those friends are particularly romantic but that it takes almost next to nothing to establish a heterosexual romantic relationship in movies. The idea that a romantic relationship is the ultimate end goal and the prevailing heteronormativity is so present that sometimes man and woman just need to coexist on screen for a majority of the audience to see a good reason for them to get together. And, yes, there are tropes used to convey romantic attraction but i'd still wager that most of them could be as easily interpreted as platonic as they can be interpreted as romantic in nature. And, you know, i do get the argument mentioned above, mostly because even though the trope used may not be a particular strong indication of romantic attraction in real life it's a whole other thing in a movie. If a trope is used primarily in a romantic context in movies then it may not become inherently romantic but it becomes a good indicator that whoever was writing it was thinking of romance at that moment and wanted the audience to do the same.

A good example for that would be the 'person C remarks they thought character A and B were a couple. In real life this can mean anything from 'C is the most astute obsever ever' to 'C is a victim of amatonormativity and doesn't know shit'. It says something about what C thinks but nothing about the nature of A and B's relationship. They could be sworn enemies for all i care. In a movie however C's comment has a Reason and that reason is not only that C does think that but also that the writer wants the audience to at least entertain the thought of A and B being together. You wouldnt mention it if it wasnt something that the audience was supposed to see and think of. So if i take care to write a scene like this about two friends of the same sex (looking at you Sherlock) then i shouldn't be surprised that people pick up on that and assume romantic subtext. It's as valid an interpretation as seeing them as friends.

However it's still important to note that it's not the only interpretation. Although amatonormativity makes you believe that there are certain things only romantic partners do most thing are pretty ambiguous. The amatonormativity that was always there in media now directly contributes to amatonormativity in queer readings of said media. (not that there isn't plenty of other amatonormativity from other places going around like the focus on romantic relationships as queer representation). And i'd love for this amatonormativity to lessen but since when do we get what we wish for? 'Cause of course there was a way to make it worse and that's exactly what happened. Instead of accepting that there are queer readings of their work too many creators, no matter whether they intentionally queerbaited or not, tried to discredit those interpretation (greatly helped along by a generous helping of queerphobia behind as well as in front of the screen). Queer readings were called 'delusional' and people were mocked relentlessly. And what do people do when people very irrationally (once again there are always multiple interpretations) tell them they're wrong? They try to prove they're right with all their might. Which is the point at which people tried to argue that actually their interpretation was the only one that's right. Phrases like 'there's no platonic explanation for this' were born and are still used heavily. This is the amatonormativity in fandom i am talking about. Now in addition to the general amatonormativity (the one that puts romance above all else and is seen in the preference for queer romances as representation) there seem to be some people who think of queer romance as the only acceptable queer representatiom. I have, for example, seen people call the first season of Good Omens queerbaiting because Aziraphale and Crowley aren't in a romantic relationship while ignoring the actual queer representation that in it. Something can be queer without a romantic relationship and not shipping two characters together does not mean that one doesn't see them as queer in any way or that one is homophobic (which i've also seen people claim). All this does not benefit the LGBTQIA+ community! If actual queer representation like trans/intersex/genderqueer/aro/ace/etc. characters get ignored in favor of a ship which isn't even canon then that doesn't help to make queer characters more popular. It just helps the people who don't actually want to see it because they can say 'look, nobody is interested in this anyway'. This is not an attack on shipping btw. You have every right to ship characters all you like, it just shouldn't be the sole focus when it comes to queer representation and calling someone homophobic for not canonizing a ship when they have shown their support of the community again and again is absurd. I just wish that the attitude that one headcanon is the one and only true interpretation would stop. Stories are works of art that are meant to be interpreted and will have a different meaning for everyone and we shouldn't be fighting about which one is better but instead we should be fighting against people policing what the 'correct' interpretations are.

I hope this is in any way understandable and you are very welcome to add something to this. Thanks for coming to my ted talk :)

there is an essay about the connection between anatonormativity and heteronormativity in media, queerbaiting and amatonormativity in fandom forming in my head and anyone who asks (and probably anyone who doesn't) could be subjected to it

#this got sooo long and is so incoherent but i dont think i can make it better than that so here it is #sorry it took this long for me to answer this #aromantic #asexual #fandom #my post

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vinyls-and-valentines · 5 years ago

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Oh yeah, forgot to mention it, but the only reason punk au!Poison has any color in their hair is because Kobra roped them into letting him try to dye their hair with Koolaid when they were 14.

He'd promised them they'd go to the Blockbusters or something if they agreed, so it wasn't a hard trade. Still, the dye job didn't come out half bad, and when Poison decided to get their hair dyed for real, three years later, they wanted to keep some red in it as an inside joke between them and Kobra

#both times it took their perents the better part of a week to notice anything was changed which...y'know. understandable if the siblings had #dark hair. but they don't. they have light hair that's a fairly dark blonde color. their parents are just not around much and aren't the #most obsevant to put it lightly #boo rambles #party poison #kobra kid #the punk au

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lazybugg · 3 years ago

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I'd love to hear your theories about Lurien's personality and his relationship with the king ^^

Hello hello! Thank you for the ask and so sorry for the late reply (have had a chaotic few weeks)! Oh boy oh boy! I get to talk about Lurien and my headcanons! 🤩

Quick warning that one of the pics I drew below might be off putting to some since it has some eyes in it. Please do ask to tag if necessary!

I'll put my ramble below the cut (It's long!)

Aside from being the grumpy alcoholic I depict him as, I like to think he's one of those people (bugs? you get what I mean) that doesn't usually say much but commands a lot of respect whereever he is. When he does have something to say, he rarely sugarcoats it and will often be rather blunt about it, unless he decides more tact is necessary for the situation.

Since I partially based my gijinka/human design for him off Sherlock Holmes (mostly the Inverness cape he wears), I usually headcanon him as having the Sherlock-like obsevation skills and the unsociable personality that comes with it 😆On top of this, I headcanon his bug-self to be a dragonfly! One of the things that entrances me about them is that they're said to have really good vision. This video (tw: bugs) that i watched shows someone firing a pea past a dragonfly, looking at it in slow motion, the dragonfly is show to move it's head to look at the flying pea, decides "nah, this isn't worth my time" and then goes back to what it was doing. So, I like to think Lurien has a similar attitude during most interactions, though he is not oblivious to how he may come off to others, he simply doesn't care.

He isn't grumpy without reason though. I headcanon him being something akin to Head of Secret Service and a key advisor to the Pale King (PK) and his court so he is a very busy man!

I think he genuinely cares about the kingdom and it's people, having clawed his way from the bottom rungs of society to his current position. He wants to make the world a better place but has found that even in his station/role as the Watcher, fierce politics and bureaucracy have prevented him from making many of the changes he originally aspired to make - one of the many reasons he drinks and smokes heavily. He does do what he can to help out though and I imagine him to be the kind of person who anonymously makes generous donations to the city's struggling orphanages and hospitals.

Another theory I have is that he's a very politically savvy person and isn't afraid to get his hands dirty get the job done, only resorting to more ruthless methods once all peaceful alternatives have been exhausted and it's clear to him there is absolutely no other option and/or an innocent life is in danger. He has a disdain for people who abuse their positions and power but can and will efficiently beat them at their own game if he is pushed to do so.

It's a different story if they decide to make it personal, however.

On a more positive side of headcanons for his personality, I enjoy the idea that loyalty is one of his strongest traits. He is loyal to PK, Hallownest and whichever handful of individuals he'd count as his close friends. He's the kind of friend who will always stands by you, and move heaven and earth for you. But he would also tell you to your face if he thinks you're being an asshole and/or a shitty friend. He's a powerful ally and a formidable enemy.

That being said, although Monomon and Herrah are his best friends, he'd probably sooner throw himself off the top of his spire than straight up telling them that he cares about them (not that they don't already know).

Regarding his relationship with PK: I'll preface this with a short lalala that I think of PK as a somewhat self-righteous ruler, having installed himself as the king of Hallownest and having this cult of personality thing around himself (like, there were idols of him, his symbol is everywhere, everyone reveres him as the beloved king, that weird text on the fountain in Ancient Basin that basically said "give the King all your money", being described as King and Creator etc.). He's a powerful being, god and king and he knows it.

Earlier I mentioned that Lurien doesn't hold back when speaking his mind and PK is no exception to this. Contrary to the "uwu my king <3" bootlicker personality I see most people give him, I find it fun to think that although he acknowledges PK's god status (where his cut dialogue seems to imply that he has witnessed PK's true form) he simply… doesn't care.

The best way I can describe it is that he saw PK's true form and went "Ok great, you're a god. Nice to know. Now will you do your job and be a ruler? No, it's not the same - you're thinking like a god, you have to be a king. FOR FUCK'S SAKE MUST I DO EVERYTHING MYSELF?! Oh yeah? You want total obedience? Then go ahead and smite me. Use your light to instill total love for you. WHY NOT? Make an example of me and everyone will fall in line. DO IT." followed by torrents of swear words as he walks away and PK has blasted a nearby wall.

In short, Lurien would be one of a few people who can (and will) say "No" to PK and still walk away with his head attached to his shoulders. PK has the benefit of godhood - if something bad happens, PK couuld simply smite it, abandon Hallownest and/or create a new kingdom and he wouldn't have to think about it again. Lurien isn't immortal or a god and thus, approaches and understands problems in a way that an immortal god might not.

He's not completely cynical and does place a lot of faith in PK and vice versa but their long time friendship/relationship/acquaintance is shadowed by the knowledge that if PK didn't have his god-like status and powers, it would be people like Lurien who would be in power.

I personally do not romantically ship PK and Lurien (but I don't mind if others do) since I think of their relationship as very close with lots of trust but has major issues such as major power imbalance, clashing values and attiudes to list a few things.

I also headcanon Lurien as not being interested in romance (or the other thing) so any attempts to court him even after he's tried to explain and let the interested party down peacefully would simply result in

Ahaha wow that was a lot (my English Literature teacher wishes I could write this much about anything).

If you read all that, thank you! I have been wanted to talk about stuff like this for a while but have always been to awkward. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to do so!

I hope you have a lovely day! 🥃

#ask #mostlydeadallday #hollow knight #lurien the watcher #hk gijinka #long post #tw: eye horror #<- don't know what the right tag is #please let me know!

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spesalvi · 8 years ago

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The thing about the online skeptic community

tI’m actually disappointed in all honesty. It seems that for the most part its devolved into almost ouroboros existence of infighting. The things is that if you were to ask me even five years ago if they were a pretty damaging factor I would have said yes.

Even if they were illogical in the majority of their rationale, people still listened to them intently and because of their methodology it seemed that they had the upper ground. Then 2012 rolled around and I became aware of Atheism + which in my eyes is a reform movement and it seemed to be just dumb and fractured. The main jist of the movement is to correct the misogynistic behavior (apparently) present in the current New Atheist movement. In the most basic sense, PC culture tries to take over a movement and it was met with resistance, starting in the mid 2013 when the backlash against the Social Justice Warriors started to become more and more vocal. Then, the atheist online and presumably irl community just became so divided and against itself like they put fighting about dogma above their identity of belief that should hold them together, their atheism as much as a Christian should value their own beliefs above their worldly concerns.

Then bit by bit, they were drowned out in part because of their own infighting and treating individual events that if ignored or just let them be small. Then the other part is that, people like The Amazing Atheist(scamming people for events that never panned out for science) and Cult of Dusty(selling scams and producing simply mediocre content) just have proved to be hacks in their own special ways and then on the more academic side, Richard Dawkins and Neil Tyson Degrasse had their fifteen minutes of fame and simply disappeared because, people started to ignore them because, they’re really not worth paying attention to in the end. Besides if they paid attention to them enough, a cult of personality would emerge and then that subverts the entire idea of a freethinking and rational person who follows a dogma based on faith and not evidence (a religion of sorts *gasp*).

Yet, this is almost inevitable in the end because, the only thing a skeptic can really say is, probably there is no God and without empirical evidence I will not believe in it. This says nothing about morals or ethics and ultimately its a dumb way to live out your life also, contemporary philosophers are mainly a mess with a few good ideas here and there.

#atheism #obsevation #ramblings #Christian #catholic #kicking the hornet's nest #probably

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