#reversed jester answers asks

[reversed-jester-pomni]

*RIPS YOUR BUTTON EYE OUT.*

OWW!!!

*cries*

( @ask-ragatha-tadc @reversed-ragatha-blog )

(okkayy, anon can you please calm down?)

[thewertsearch]

Anonymous asked: just read through your entire liveblog and wow. what a place to catch up. do you have any predictions about what the postscratch versions of the guardians will be? what about the guardian versions of the kids?

So.

Mom Lalonde, Grandpa Harley, Nanna Egbert, and Bro Strider, reborn as the story's protagonists, and thrust into a Playerdom I never expected them to bear. The consequences of this reveal are likely to kick in on the very next page - and since that's a page I'm clicking on tonight, this is my last chance for some blind speculation.

There are an absolute mountain of angles I could potentially cover here, and it's impossible to address all the implications of this twist, so I'm just going to touch on a few key questions that Act 6 will need to answer sooner rather than later.

Without further ado, let's dive into our first question.

Who, exactly, is raising these kids?

The simplest solution, of course, would be a one-to-one exchange between each Player and their Guardian. That certainly seems to be the case for Jade and Grandpa, who have been directly swapped. This would imply that Rose raised Mom, Dave raised Bro, and John might have raised Nanna. (More on that later.)

Still, that's not the only possibility. There's no reason why Dave couldn't raise the adolescent Mom instead, for example, with Rose adopting the younger Bro in his stead. That particular configuration has a lot of character potential, actually, because Bro Lalonde would undoubtedly be an unholy terror, and Mom Strider might just be one of the coolest characters I've ever conceived of.

This aesthetic, with those shades? Come on.

...all that said, though, I'm fairly sure we are just getting a one-to-one swap. That's how it appears to have worked for the trolls, and the one post-Scratch Player with a confirmed Guardian already matches this pattern.

Plus, swapping the kids with their own parents is just so interesting, on a character level, as it'd add a whole new dimension of analysis to the fucked-up relationships between Bro & Dave, Mom & Rose, and Grandpa & Jade.

Seeing how they all treat each other, now that the roles have been reversed, would be incredibly illuminating, and might shed some light on the thought processes of the pre-Scratched Guardians, as they were raising their own respective charges.

Anyway - now that we've got that out of the way, let's talk about each individual family.

The Egberts

Astute readers will notice that I only mentioned the Guardian-Player parallels for three of our Players above - and that's because when it comes to the fourth, there's a slight complication.

Namely, Dad Egbert no longer exists.

This means that Nanna's home life can't parallel John's, because the man who raised John was never even born. It's possible, then, that John will simply raise Nanna himself, as her grandfather.

Honestly, that's the scenario I'm hoping for, here. Out of our four original Players, I think that John would be the best parent by far - he's sweet, resilient, and has a natural talent for nurturing the positive qualities of the people he loves. If a baby lands in his backyard, he's going to rise to the challenge, octogenarianism be damned.

...now, here's where I'd speculate a little about Nanna's personality, but she's the one post-Scratch Player I can't really get a bead on. We only ever interacted with her Spritesona, whose personality was obviously corrupted by the presence of the jester doll.

As a result, I don't really have a clue what Nanna will be like. The only thing I'm sure about, if John's the one raising her, is that she'll be loved.

The Striders

First of all, I have faith in Dave.

I think he's more or less guaranteed to be a better Guardian than his brother ever was. Granted, I don't think Dave would be particularly paternal, but I also think he'll be able to refrain from beating Bro's ass with a puppet, which is progress.

I think Dave would be a laissez-faire type of guardian, who allows the younger Bro a lot more agency and autonomy than other kids his age, but also struggles to be the adult in the room when his kid needs guidance. He's not going to be as traumatized as his younger self, but I bet it's still borderline impossible to have a serious conversation with him. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if Kid Bro turned out to be the more mature of the pair.

In a nutshell, Dave was born to be a cool uncle, but was forced unwittingly into a parental role instead. He's doing his best.

Quite frankly, I'm very worried about Kid Bro.

If we assume that every Paradox Clone keeps the same Veil item as last time - and there's no reason why they wouldn't - then Bro will be coming down with Lil' Cal, the cursed puppet created by Gamzee's Chucklevoodoos.

I'm still convinced that long-term exposure to this abomination was the main reason Bro was so batshit insane, and while the younger Bro won't have been around it for quite as long, he'll still have thirteen years of an evil Juggalo's Rage miasma being beamed into his brain.

I think Kid Bro will be a little batshit, but not completely batshit. We'll see a child with the potential to become the deranged ventriloquist who tormented Dave, but one who can still be saved, if we can just get that hell puppet away from him.

Separated from Cal, I still think Bro will be a memelord, and I'm sure not all his interests came from the puppet. I think this guy was always destined to be a pretty bizarre dude - but with luck, this iteration of him will be a little more pleasant to be around.

The Lalondes

Rose... could go either way, honestly.

Just like Dave, I don't think she's the type who'd willingly choose to be a parent. Rose doesn't want a baby, she wants a library full of cursed tomes, a coven of witches to scheme with, and to live in an enormous gothic castle with her wife, Kanaya Maryam. Her ideal lifestyle couldn't handle a kid, and I think she's self-aware enough to know that, and adopt a hundred mutant kittens instead.

That said... if she had to raise a daughter, I think she'd try her best to do right by the girl. I think some part of her would absolutely resent the fact that she's a background character in someone else's life - especially if, like the Sufferer, she remembers being a Player - but she'd do everything she could to keep that resentment to herself.

Rose would be an alright mother. A little cold, maybe, and more than a little distant, but she'd still love her Roxy.

As for Roxy, I can only assume she's a gigantic fucking badass. Even among the Guardians, her barehanded combat feats were always astounding, and I think she and Kid Bro will be the primary combatants of their session.

I also think she'll be one of the most analytical, scientifically-minded Players we've ever seen. Her adult self was experimenting with Ectobiology even outside of Sburb, which suggests to me an intense curiosity about how all this shit works, which isn't present in most of our other heroes. Like Rose, she'll be a researcher, and maybe even a Seer - but while Rose searched for the truth via magic and mysticism, Roxy's research will be entirely scientific.

Honestly, the most exciting thing about finally meeting Roxy is the milestone it'll represent. I'll finally, finally have encountered every character I knew about prior to starting the comic.

The Harleys

Grandma Jade was still the Witch of Space, and was clearly aware of that fact.

This tells us that:

John, Rose and Dave also retained their Titles, even if they don't know it.

Grandma Jade was probably aware of Sburb and its secrets, especially if she was living near the Frog Temple.

Grandma Jade was the Witch of Space. She's gone.

...and I have a theory about what happened to her.

I think that when Grandpa was a baby, Jade travelled to Anachronism Island, just like her predecessor did - but this time around, it wasn't Bec who greeted her at the Temple.

No, I think Jade had a fatal encounter with the new First Guardian of Earth - a corrupted First Guardian, spliced with the same HONK code that created Scratch. Kid Grandpa clearly survived whatever happened next, and I think it's horribly plausible that the new First Guardian is a pseudo-Guardian to him, the same way Becquerel was to Jade.

In other words, this kid might be completely compromised, manipulated by English's servant since infancy. Let's not forget that he's the one who suggested making the bunny to Jade, which is the reason Jack was able to ascend in the first place...

...but someone suggested it to him, first.

Anyway, those are my high-level thoughts about the new timeline's key players. We'll be starting Act 6 in an hour or so, and I've got a feeling that we're about to see Nanna standing in a very familiar room.

After all, it just so happens that today...

[spread-the-influence]

A kick isn't too much in the circus? That's fair, that's fair. I suppose if Pomni was kicked, her silly cartoon body would just absorb it like ballistic jelly. So how would post influence Ragatha react if Pomni ABSTRACTED. let's go from minor incident to soul crushing incident. Preferably I gotta know how she'd react mid abstraction. During the abstraction. And when she's In the celler.

Mid Abstraction: As Pomnis actively spiraling out of her mind and her body begins glitching. What does the sad doll do?

During the Abstraction: UH OH your crush has turned into a giant multi eyed monster, Ragatha. Are you going to blame yourself or try and do something about it??

In the celler: Whelp there goes your girlfriend. In a deep dark pit of despair for eternity. I wonder if she's fully aware of her surroundings. Must be like hell to be sitting in a dark pit full of monsters with nothing to do. But I'm sure Ragatha will just move on. Maybe the next newbie who shows up will also be a cute jester girl? Or maybe she'll be dead inside forever. Who knows really. Well besides YOU ya puppet master.

i can't stop giggling . i Very much appreciate this essay dropped in my ask anon it just makes me giggle how we're going to think up of angst for the supposed ' comfort ' portion of the au to pay off all the hurt that's done prior . might as well answer this while working on the next pages

if there's one Noticeable difference between ragatha and her post-influence self , it's that she's more ... proactive , to put it ? do not be fooled by her sad puppy aura , she's in the mode of wanting to Repent for her sins ! which means she'll do Anything to be there for her friends , even if it means she'll go on another fucking Coma while doing so .

atoning with her Life basically

mid and during abstraction , ragatha still suffers from a debilitating condition doctors call Cringefail Syndrome , where she still tries to see the light in a situation because what the fuck else is she going to do . so of course she's going to think that she could possibly reverse pomni's abstraction if she tries hard enough .

it's up for debate whether this is going to be successful or not . but hey . i'm sure it'll be fun to imagine ragatha trying to pull pomni out of a mental breakdown without having to speak .

as for the aftermath , it really depends . if this is around the period where ragatha's still trying to ease back into Everything and repairing her bonds with everyone - the first years basically - all of that progress will be snapped away in an instant . around that time , she's hugely depending on pomni emotionally because she's the only thing keeping ragatha from Completely Fucking Losing It . taking away her only anchor will make the entire ship sink down

around the period where everything's fine now and the circus's back together i guess , um ... It'll still be Very bad but it's not the end of the world . ragatha has her friends to support her through it . i mean , kinger coped well with losing his wife , so maybe ragatha could do so too ... even though she and pomni never married . and they're probably awkward about saying they're girlfriends . so they just say they're close frien

[milksinyourarea]

Deck of Many Things in JRWI

Pulled Cards:

Balance - Reverses the drawer's moral alignment, drawn by the bard in the feywild

Rogue - Makes a random person close to the drawer hostile towards them, drawn by Gillion, effecting Felipé

Donjon - Drawer becomes enprisoned in an extra-dimensional space and cannot get out unless found and recovered by their party, drawn by Gillion

Throne - Gives the drawer proficiency in persuasion and grants them a small keep that can only be gained once all monsters inside are slain, drawn by Chip

Jester - Grants great intuition and expertise to the drawer or allows them the chance to draw two extra cards, drawn by Felipé

Flames - The drawer becomes the enemy of a formidable devil who will hunt them down and the effect can only be removed by one of their deaths, drawn by Felipé

Gem - A cache of valuable gems appears before the drawer in the form of jewelry or individually, drawn by Felipé

Idiot - Greatly reduces the intellectual capabilities of the person who draws the card and allows them to draw another, drawn by Doppelgilly

The Void - The drawer's soul is transported into an object located somewhere only one person nearby knows of. This spell cannot be reversed. Drawn by Doppelgilly

Note: Felipé chooses to draw two cards after picking the Jester, however, the second card he picked is unknown to me.

Remaining* Cards:

*As far as I am aware, Grizzly has the 22 card deck.

Euryale - Drawer is permanently cursed by a Medusa-like creature. This effect can only be removed via a deity or The Fates card.

Key - Drawer receives a rare weapon they are proficient in.

Knight - A powerful knight will appear and pledge their loyalty to the drawer, as they believe fate has drawn them together.

Moon - Drawer gains the ability to cast Wish spell in 1 to 3 cases. (Note: I believe the amount of uses is determined through dice roll)

Ruin - Any and all valuables, holdings, land, investments, gold etc. with the exception of magical items are stripped from the drawer's possession.

Skull - An avatar of death appears, challenging the drawer and only the drawer to a duel. If slain by the reaper, resurrection is impossible.

Sun - Drawer receives significant insight and skill as if suddenly much more experienced. Additionally, they are granted any single wonderous item from anywhere throughout the realms or other planes of existence.

Star - Two of the drawer's defining qualities are greatly and permanently enhanced, such as their wit, intellect, strength, etc.

Comet - If the person who draws the card defeats the next hostile or group of hostiles singlehandedly, then they are granted significant insight from the battle. If failed, card has no effect.

Fool - Drawer becomes belligerent and incompetent in a manner opposite the Jester card, and they draw another card regardless of declared draws.

Sage - Within a year of drawing the card, receiver is able to ask a question in meditation and gain an enlightening answer. They also receive the wisdom necessary to apply the information gained in a dilemma or crisis.

Talons - Every magic item in the drawer's possession disintegrates. Any remaining artifacts are not destroyed, but have vanished to a different location.

The Fates - Drawer gains the ability to erase a moment in time from ever happening. The effects of the card could be used immediately or at a later time.

As of now, there are 8 good cards and 5 bad cards remaining.

Well, depending on who has the deck.

May the luck of the draw be in the riptide pirates' hands.

[zannolin]

For the writer ask game: 2, 18, and 47 please! 💛

hello friend! i hope you're well <3

2. Do you plan each chapter ahead or write as you go?

i try to plan ahead when writing multichapter fics. it never works out very well for me if i don't. (see: my caspter one that ended up being 43k when it was Not supposed to be 43k or a multichap) but there's always an element of writing as i go; scenes will shift around, pop into existence, get cut, etc. the end results is always something of a surprise.

18. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

before, almost always. i cannot start a fic that doesn't have a title. this is one of my many annoying quirks as a writer. my brain just flat out won't let me! however, sometimes i go back and forth a lot while working on them, before posting. north of desire was nearly borrowed time, and animal instinct was delayed forever (the extended one, since the original was a title-less snippet here on tumblr) because i couldn't choose what to call it. come november changed titles a couple times before going back to being come november. etc. i am a lover of two-word titles and i keep a title doc on my laptop that's just a big long list of titles i thought would fuck that i scroll through whenever i'm starting something new. often i'll come up with titles for certain aus/concepts based on songs i'm listening to that i associate with them, though (this is how the susan fic got a "welly boots" title) if nothing in the doc fits. poor jester has had a front row seat to me going back and forth over what to title my reverse dawn treader au. i haven't even outlined it. and i can't until i title it....

47. How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

tricky question. the official answer is something like at least once; i try to do a last sweep to check for typos and flow and stuff before i post, but i also tend to do edits as i go along. every time i open the doc i read over what i've written and revise it a little, so it can be revised as many as several dozen times (chapter four of NoD, because of how long it took to write) or barely once (all in, palms out, which was written in like. just over a sitting). it just depends. i do not do much heavy revision on my fics, though. the only ones i have done this extremely with would be good luck, babe! which got the five separate outlines treatment; the swing of things, which i wrote and then printed off and cut into sections and rearranged them all over my bedroom floor; and to an extent objects in motion, which i just really wanted to be good. i am not a fan of the revision process (which has rendered my creative writing degree Miserable lollll) but i should do it more because on god i just found a typo in pdhmti like five minutes ago and screamed.

get to know your fic writer!

[eliza-dearest]

I watched The Amazing Digital Circus’ pilot.

… and through my time looking at theories on character designs and meanings, I’ve noticed one particular point that nobody brings up!

Pomni is transported into the Circus resembling a jester. Many feel that this either reflects a hidden component to her personality, a role she’s destined to play, or a hint as to what she was viewed as before (perhaps not taken seriously or treated as a joke by her coworkers, as evidence is shown in the office introduction clip).

Many point out that a jester is known as an entertainer, a jokester, and a trickster. But there’s another side to this symbolism: what is another name for a Jester?

A fool.

Pomni is the fool in the digital circus, constantly searching for an exit only to be denied. She asks questions anbout how she got here and nothing gets answered. She tries convincing herself that she’s dreaming, only to instantly be denied that comfort. Her confusion and potential to descend into madness is not only entertaining to the ringleader, but to us, the audience.

Fools are usually seen as being not very bright in the eyes of the higher power they are entertaining. But fools also have the ability to directly insult that higher power and get away with it under the guise of a joke. This may be a hint as to how her and Caine’s dynamic will play out. Pomni can search for an exit under the guise of an entertaining bit or adventure, and Caine will allow it to some extent, as long as she never actually gets close to finding it.

Fools are seen in another familiar place: the major arcana in a tarot deck. Upright they represent a new beginning, hope, spontaneous behavior, adventure and innocence. Reversed they represent risk taking, as well as being naive or gullible. And I think these two meanings fit Pomni to a T. Her appearance and mention of seeing an exit will bring hope to the other circus members and start them on a great an epic quest to save themselves. But her rushing into things and naivety on how simple escape will be may sabotage her plans.

[ryttu3k]

That slightly awkward moment when you really want to make a mod item but have no idea how to do that. Any advice on how to make the Deck of Many Things?

(Edit: OOH HEY it already exists. That works!! Not quite the same nigh-game-changing implementation, but plenty of fun!)

The Deck of Many Things

A set of cards found in random chest, crate, or barrel at some point in act 3 (check everything!). Upon using for the first time, user is asked how many cards they wish to draw (up to 3). Cards are then drawn in order. Each card is randomly selected, after which is removed from circulation. Once all declared cards are drawn, remainder disappear.

Here's how they work in D&D, and here's how they work in BG2!

Not implemented

This deck seems to have lost the Moon and Balance cards! (Moon gives the user 1-3 uses of the spell Wish, which only has one... very specific appearance in-game, Balance switches alignments - good-evil and lawful-chaotic, so a lawful good character would become chaotic evil. BG3 does not use the alignment system.) Obligingly, cutting these two leaves 10 positive effect cards, and 10 negative effect cards.

Positive effects

Card: Jester Original effect: Great intuition and expertise bestowed. Can draw two extra cards. BG3 effect: Gain 10,000 XP. Can draw two extra cards.

Card: Sun Original effect: Immense intuition and expertise bestowed. Grants wondrous item. BG3 effect: Gain 50,000 XP. Grants random Legendary Item (excluding Shar's Spear of Night or Orthic Hammer).

Card: Key Original effect: Great weapon that the user is proficient with appears. BG3 effect: Summons a random +2 weapon that automatically grants proficiency.

Card: Knight Original effect: Powerful knight appears and pledges their loyalty. BG3 effect: Grants user the ability to cast Conjure Elemental or Planar Ally once per Long Rest.

Card: Star Original effect: Increase ability score by 2. Can exceed 20, but not 24. BG3 effect: As original.

Card: Star Original effect: Gain proficiency in Persuasion. Gain ownership of small keep somewhere. BG3 effect: Gain proficiency in Persuasion. If already proficient, gain expertise. If already expert, no effect. Get free boarding at Elfsong.

Card: Comet Original effect: If user defeats next hostile creature or group single-handedly, gain great insight. BG3 effect: In next battle, if no other party members or allies cause damage, user gains enough XP to raise level.

Card: Gem Original effect: Cache of valuable gems appears, to value of 50,000gp. BG3 effect: As original.

Card: Sage Original effect: User may ask question in meditation and receive truthful answer, including how to make use of advice. BG3 effect: WIS raised by 1d4 + 1. Cannot exceed 24.

Card: Fates Original effect: Erase one event from life as if it never happened (including Euryale). BG3 effect: Removes effect of negative card, other than Void/Donjon.

Negative effects

Card: Euryale Original effect: Permanently cursed. -2 to all saving rolls. Can be reversed by Fates card or by deity. BG3 effect: As original. Can be removed by deity's blessing at Stormshore.

Card: Flames Original effect: Earn enmity of formidable devil. BG3 effect: Summons an orthon. Same stats as Yurgir.

Card: Rogue Original effect: Person close to user becomes hostile. BG3 effect: Ally becomes hostile until killed or knocked out.

Card: Ruin Original effect: Lose all wealth (gold and valuables). BG3 effect: All gold and gemstones held by user disappear.

Card: Skull Original effect: Avatar of death appears. User must fight them alone. Can't be resurrected. BG3 effect: Summons Avatar of Myrkul and locks them into one-on-one battle. User can be resurrected afterwards.

Card: Void Original effect: Body is incapacitated, and soul transported into random object. BG3 effect: Same effect as Djinni Lamp from Sorcerous Vault. Lamp appears in camp.

Card: Donjon Original effect: User is imprisoned in extra-dimensional space. All belongings remain in location. BG3 effect: Transports user to Jungle. User's items are left with another party member. Portal transports user to Circus of Last Days.

Card: Fool Original effect: Lose understanding and competence. Must draw another card. BG3 effect: Lose 10,000 XP, possibly dropping 1 level. Must draw another card.

Card: Puzzle Original effect: Intellect diminished. May draw additional card. BG3 effect: INT reduced by 1d4 + 1. May draw additional card.

Card: Talons Original effect: Every magical item in possession disintegrated. Artifacts disappear. BG3 effect: All equipped magical items disappear and are randomly distributed in crates/chests in current location (any currently accessible by Waypoint).

Thoughts? Advice on how to make this as a mod? Any options that could be changed? I don't want to do anything that will softlock a player.

[villain-in-love]

2 and 10 for the general self ship ask game!!! Also 8, if you're interested in answering it! I'm just curious if you have any crushes or potential f/os, I'd love to hear about it! 👀

(Also doesn't need to be about Touchstarved, but while you're posting about it... you made me realise I have a small teeny-tiny crush on Vere lmao. I hate that sly fox boy. It's an awesome game from what I've seen in the demo, love that you're getting interested in it!)

Okay, I'm back again and ready to answer this!

2. Two headcanons/facts-- one from your newest F/O and one from the oldest.

Oh my gods… Ciel! Come back here, I need you again!

Thistle: Once again, a headcanon based on what I saw in canon... I think that Thistle does, in fact, have a sense of humour, it's just pretty dark. His idea of making jokes as a jester was mostly insulting people in creative ways (well, still is). And I feel like that gag of presenting dead main characters as dishes in reverse to what they've been doing to his monsters is also a perfect example of what Thistle thinks is funny (I'm convinced that it would have been his idea)

Ciel: ...if I had a nickel for every time Ciel set a building with children on fire, I would have two nickels, which isn't a lot, but funny how that happened twice. To be fair, he only meant to kill everyone the first time. The next time the idea was to just force everyone out of the building. But still.

10. Please rave about your F/O(s)! Why you like them, why they like you, a fact or headcanon you haven't shared, whatever you'd like to answer with! (:

Can we talk about Xerxes Break? Let’s talk about Xerxes Break, because we should definitely talk about Xerxes Break.

One thing that not many people understand, but also the thing that I adore about him, is how he doesn’t give a single flying fuck about being socially appropriate. So, he wouldn't try particularly hard to maintain a decorum and act nice, if he doesn’t like you - he will let you know. This man must not be allowed to hang around the high society, yet there he is. Insulting nobles.

And take a look at this:

Break can either say things politely with a sourest face, or smile pleasantly while telling you to go fuck yourself (Words cannot describe how much Break hates Vincent)

Or sometimes he will just insult you through his doll, as if it wasn't him, just because he can.

It's actually canon that he has... questionable reputation. It was mentioned by Sharon in one of the chapters, that Break's colleagues in Pandora talk behind his back because of his arrogance and shitty attitude...

I just think it's funny how, of all things, this is the type of situation where Xerxes almost always choses to tell the truths of what he thinks.

He's so mean and rude, I'm in love with him.

8. Anyone you don't have an F/O but like (be it a crush or just affinity)? Why aren't they an F/O? Can you imagine them ever being one? Why or why not?

For the record: it’s been almost a year since I got into Touchstarved, actually. I just didn’t talk much about it before… Partly because it’s still in development and I prefer not to run ahead of the train and get too invested in the fanon (of which most of the fandom consists right now), to avoid getting disappointed when canon information will get revealed. So for now I am eagerly awaiting the day of the release, because the game IS amazing, and I need more of it.

So. Kuras and Mhin. Since I myself actually want to clarify what is going on.

As I already said, the two criteria needed for a f/o is this: 1. I have to be in love with the character; 2. I have to be able to create a proper lore for the self ship with them.

And, well, because the game is still in development, Kuras and Mhin have yet to fulfil those criteria... But I am indeed attracted to them, even if not as intensely as to my official f/os, so right now they are placed in the separate list of crushes.

To be honest, I do have some ideas for self ships with them already, and I already have a s/i... Just not enough to consistently make content about it here – not enough information, I don’t even know how the plot of the game will go and who they truly are as people!..

But. If you are curious, I can surely post more about them, my Touchstarved s/i, and my ideas for the ships!

P.S. Crushing on Vere, huh? Funnily enough, he's a favourite character of my best friend, but I myself like him the least out of the main cast. Though that's mainly because I find him so difficult to deal with. As a character, I think Vere is great (and frustratingly pretty), it's just that I don't understand him at all... However! I am now curious of how you perceive him and what could be his dynamic with your s/i.

[yudol-skorbi]

Your mighty nein drawings of the characters look so shaped!!!! How do you do that? /gen

Like Beau is very triangular, and I love that, but my little art brain can't comprehend for some reason

oh man i was thinking about this ask for a WHILe and my answer is i have no idea like these things just kinda come to me?? Beau is angry and aggressive and pointy and dynamic so she is a triangle because they are pointy and dynamic too. Jester is friendly and nice and cute so she have many round-shaped elements cause circle is the most friendly shape. Yasha first and foremost makes impression of lumbering MASS she is scary and imposing but has the weight of greif and sadness about her so she is reversed triangle because this figure is literally pointing down. Nott is very small and doing her best to appear even smaller so i tried to fit as much of her as i can into one singular shape of her cloak. and she is pointy and dynamic too! Kinda like Beau but in much more discreet way

so first i think what impression i'd like their figures to make?? I always try to make character's personalities shine trough their form (thats why its kinda hard for me to draw characters i am not familiar with). It becomes very intresting task when character goes trough their personal development because sometimes it's subtile but sometimes it's hugely affect the way they are presenting themselves. So i also try to think how those same features and forms would look when character will reach another leg of their personal journey. Its quite fun challenge for me actually.

like its probably sounds dumb i am not any professional or something like that and most of the time i'm barely know what i'm doing.....SO HONESTLY I JUST GLAD IT WORKED OUT??? I GUESS???? THANK YOU FOR THE NICE WORDS💜💜💜💜

[voxblade]

You seem to reblog a decent amount of Skyrim from me now so I need you to give me your fav random piece of lore or knowledge or anything about any elder scrolls anything (I fully expect you to just make something up entirely)

Make that pieces, because I can't answer anything short form to save my life and there's a lot I've scrambled together overtime. Uhhh...

- I half-remember reading that apparently the dwarves were SO ATHEIST that when they found proof that gods existed, they went "fuck that" and yeeted themselves out of the continuity and into another dimension or something

- the dragonborn's power is shouts. I understand that they are divine or some shit and taken from an ancient draconic language or w/e but I refuse to believe at least one of those shouts isn't them screaming

"THAT'S MY OPINION"

(Or that at least it isn't a mod)

- there are some dudes called the nords and they collectively are the CEOs of racism. the whole of the nords. All of them.

- you can kill a dragon voiced by super mario himself. given that Italians are inherently evil, killing him appears to be the correct moral choice.

- The jester man you like is a mama's boy and the MILF in question is basically a weird shriveled raisin thing that lives in a coffin. #Hotgirl-goals. He also feeds cats to rats?? According to another mutual??? which as a fan of cats makes me sad, but as an even bigger fan of rats I find oddly cathartic, in a juvenile way. My babies have long been overdue for revenge for the billions of beautiful lives lost to cruel nature and cruel fate. Yes. Reverse the food chain. I hope they eat humans next. (Assuming this is even real.)

- there's some fucking guy you hate named Jason or something who wants to be a big deal but he's an absolutely terrible companion and he dies to fucking everything. He's not even cute in a pathetic meow meow way? Which sounds like me to be honest. Maybe I kin him without realizing. You don't know. I don't know.

- There is a long and arduous side quest not many players know about. In Whiterun, if you leave the Bannered Mare, there's a 1 in 76 chance you will find a strange NPC called Thes waiting by the door. If interacted with, Thes will ask the player a series of strange questions to try to get to know their character. Should the player answer to Thes's liking, he will say "ah. You've also lost the use for truth. This will serve you well". Thes will leave after saying this and the player will unlock the Kindred Spirit quest. It's a bit clunky from this point on, but essentially, you have various markers on your map to track down, each promising something "new", but whenever you get close to them, the positions will move and cannot be found, even through cheats. What the player must do is try for the same rolling chance that summoned Thes in the first place by entering and leaving the Bannered Mare over and over again, except when they succeed the roll this time, Thes will be replaced by a new identical character with a new name, insisting his name is Da. Da will ask the player if they are having any trouble meeting the objectives and the player has the option to call him out. This will learn a laugh ("but they just work! What's the commotion?"), and Da eventually adds a new marker to the map, this one leading towards the Den of Falsehoods (this is commonly confused with the Liar's Retreat). To make a long story short, this is also bullshit but I'm getting tired of summarizing. After a bunch of bullshit, at the end of the quest, Da will be waiting for the player in the core of the den, this time named "Beth". When confronted this time, "Beth" will talk to the player about the nature of truth and falsehood and the player can ask for them to reveal their true name. "Beth" will comply, but only after asking if you would ever love a liar like him. If you say no, "Beth" will nod and say he understands and also will tell the player to be excited for Fallout 76. This is very curious, and possibly reference to Bethesda's other franchise, Fallout, and its entry Fallout 76, which wasn't in development when Skyrim was first released. "Beth" will then leave the game and cannot be found again. If the player says yes, "Beth" thanks them and reveals their true face: a curious npc named Todd Howard. Todd Howard apologizes for his lies but curiously will not give the player any sort of reward for having done the quest. It is also possible from this point to marry him if the player is so inclined. This is ill advised, because Todd Howard will keep all of the money from whatever business he opens and he never sleeps, which some players reportedly find creepy.

- I like that little freak the adoring fan and how you can make him run off a cliff

- there is a mod (???) that lets you summon Santa Claus like a primordial ancient demon and I think it works for him. Santa really served cunt in that mod.

- Sheogoraths line of "CHEESE, FOR EVERYONE!!!" may be indicative of the fact he likes cheese.

[goldenworldsabound]

gimme coffee shop, college, fake dating, and crossover for THE BOY CLAYMAN >:33c also i see that ur blog is now clayman themed hehe i love it

I owed it to him at this point to Claymanify the blog fkjdashfkjdsa

AIGHT LET'S GET TO IT

[COFFEE SHOP] - How many AU's do you have between all of your f/o's? What are they?

I answered this earlier but for Clayman I have quite a few as well!!!

College AU

Modern AU

Clayman is a magical cat AU (I love my cat AUs fkjhdsa)

Rich Bitch Trio counts here

Magical Western AU

True Dragon SI AU

Clayman is the Self Shipper AU

I think that's all of them fkdjsahfkjdsa

[COLLEGE] - What is your most developed/fleshed out AU?

Well funny you should say that it's swiftly becoming College AU, though all of these are pretty damn fleshed out. But College AU also includes a ton of other characters and it's just so FUN I love it, I'm sure I'll end up writing for it eventually fkjdsahfkjds

[FAKE DATING] - How would a reverse/personality swap AU work between your f/o and s/i?

personality swap...HONESTLY I don't- it wouldn't be us then anymore I get very confused by personality swap HOWEVER role swap is pretty interesting! If I was the Demon Lord and he was the summoned human...it would sort of shift our personalities though because it's hard to be cocky and smug the way he is in canon if he's...new to the world and lost. But I would be a lot friendlier than he was initially to me because I have excellent emotional intelligence (esp compared to him fkjdhfa). I think he would end up being the sort of subordinate Yamza is to him in canon - very aggressively and ready to tell everyone else how much they suck compared to me and to praise me endlessly. I let him- fkjdshafksa as for me...well, I would certainly be very confident. I'm not really super scheming myself the way he is in canon though so I no doubt talk to Laplace and Clayman and Kazalim and seek far more feedback than Clayman tends to in canon. Results in much better thought out plans until the mind control anyway-

[CROSSOVER] - Take your f/o and s/i and put them in another fandom! What happens? What do their stories look like now? Any big design changes?

Let's consider Genshin!!! His family strikes me as one that would work with the Fatui, even if they have their own goals related to Celestia...but they keep those under wraps. They have no qualms about doing dangerous or awful things. They also aren't human - maybe they're like Klee or maybe specifically Kazalim is like Klee (and part of the Hexenzirkel even) and the jesters + Clayman are homonculi like Albedo. Clayman's role would be to hold a rich and powerful position in Fontaine which he does fantastically. His Vision would be...

Electro, for the way he follows his family's plan for eternity. And also the electrical currents can be controlled to puppet others, allowing him to remain a sort of puppeteer, though this kind is far less suited for espionage and such and is more just terribly painful I imagine. But he could manipulate and control mechanical bodies perhaps.

As for my SI, in this case I suppose they would be living a mundane life in Fontaine, up until they are accused of a crime and almost wrongly convicted. Evidence that salvages their case is found last minute, but the whole experience traumatized them (yeah totally stealing from an actual Genshin SI's bg but shhh) and perhaps led to a Cryo Vision (which they use to create ice shards much like Tensura SI's "crystalline shards" and shields, and perhaps even wings though I doubt they could actually fly with them, more as an expression of art). Their belief and trust in gods is shaken - they understand now that their archon is quite fallible.

Clayman snatches them up straight away. I imagine he attends the trials at the Opera quite often and he sees how broken I become, and sees opportunity there. And the Vision. He also sees the Vision. And also sees that I'm pretty-

Anyway you get the idea, I am initially repulsed when I learn of the terrible actions his family does but I come to accept that since Clayman has already somewhat groomed me on their motives and goals and as such I begin to be able to look past all sorts of atrocities they slowly unveil to me, and before long I am committing them as well.

[reversed-jester-pomni]

*SHOVES A FORK WHERE THE BUTTON PREVIOUSLY WAS*

*screams and falls backwards*

OWWWWWW!!! *sniff* SHIT!

( @ask-ragatha-tadc @reversed-ragatha-blog )

[wardensantoineandevka]

Y'know, I don't actually think Taliesin is presenting Kingsley as more competent than Fjord, Kingsley is simply much more confident. (And in the reverse, Travis isn't presenting Fjord as less competent, just more self-doubting.) The difference between them is how they see themselves and how that affects how they work, and their views of themselves heavily filters how we're seeing them here.

The entire thing is that Fjord is suffering a massive crisis of confidence and is struggling under the weight of self-doubt. Jester remarks to him that he needs to be confident, Fjord is so paralyzed by a simple question that he desperately asks the answer from Melora (then freezes mid-attempt to interpret it), he second-guesses his correct assessment into an incorrect one, he nervously seeks constant assurance from someone else on whether an idea is a sensible or good one.

Fjord is trying to transition into a new period of his life, and it's slammed him with an incredible amount of imposter syndrome. It seems that the lack of clear end goals and sudden lack of structure is making this difficult. (We've all joked Fjord has ADHD, well, lmfao.) He is openly displaying the intense self-doubt he's experiencing, which in turn is not inspiring confidence in those around him, which viciously cycles. That pervasive self-doubt is actively disrupting his ability to do, well, literally anything. It's like trying to make your hands stop shaking, so now they shake worse, making you totally incapable of that simple task that you normally can manage, even excel at.

Kingsley is nothing but confidence. He probably has never had enough personal setback nor enough life experience to fear failure. He's even so confident that he razzes Caleb about teleporting off-target. A not insignificant chunk of Kingsley's commentary is simply nonconstructive criticism, nitpicking, telling Fjord to do something Fjord was about to do or already did, snark for the sake of looking clever, or missing that Fjord is debilitatingly dissociative—so it tends to sound more put together, and criticism is easy where doing is hard, possibly just all sound and fury as they say, remains to be seen. Kingsley is untested in the role but he talks fast and big, that much is true.

Taliesin has spoken about how he plays characters who think of themselves in relationship to the world in a very specific, very wrong-headed way, and that extends very much to Kingsley. I think Kingsley has the same problem that Percy did: he believes he is the smartest, most competent, most adult person in the room because he knows approximately four things and is incapable of being anything less than overconfident.

As far as it seems to me so far, the difference is that they are opposites in experience (Fjord sailed for many years, Kingsley for six months) that are inversely proportional to their current levels of confidence (Fjord lost confidence in his ability to make even minor decisions, Kingsley apparently does not doubt himself for any reason). It's a difference, as far as I can tell, specifically born of their perceptions of themselves, and whether that perception affects their ability to work, rather than objective assessment of their relative ability and potential.

We're largely seeing Kingsley and Fjord through the lenses of how they see themselves.

[avatarvyakara]

Another sample of my Encanto fanfic:

60. Ciega

(adj) blind, unseeing

This is what Alma Madrigal sees:

She sees a five-year-old Mirabel standing in front of a door that disappears before their eyes. How hopeless and helpless her nieta looks.

She sees the look on forty-year-old Bruno's face when she asks him to have another vision, to find some way, any way, that this isn't Mirabel's fault or their fault or the failure of their magic. The failure of their miracle. The return of the outside world to the encanto. The loss of everything. Because she can’t see, but he can.

She sees where Bruno was and now isn’t, and the towering steps that have grown overnight to his vision cave. Steps that crumble even as she walks along them. So either the vision was so bad that Mirabel was set to destroy them and Bruno chose to set out to find the shaman who taught Bruno when he was younger, talking about true names and spirits of the forest, to reverse it—or Bruno just had a breakdown and left. Left his sisters and their children. Left her. She asked him to help protect the family and he chose to leave it instead. Maybe to save it—but why didn’t he trust in them to fix it together? Maybe he just needs time—and maybe she needs a little time, too, to wait until he comes back with an answer (until he comes back). She has her granddaughter still. They just won't talk about Bruno, and maybe that's all it will come to.

She sees the look of resentment that slides onto Mirabel's face when her oldest sister is around, so many times over the years. And for what? Doing all that Isabela can do? How long before she grew to resent Luisa for her strength, or Camilo for his shapeshifting, or Dolores for her hearing? Would she curse her own mother for healing her, scorn Pepa for making the sun shine? She didn't have a gift, fine, but Alma helps without one and so do Félix and Agustín. To be a Madrigal is to keep the Miracle burning. She isn't blessed, but that makes her no less a Madrigal. (But it leaves her open to infection. A sickness of the soul. With no gift, she has no immunity to other magic. And Bruno isn’t here to—no. She won’t think about Bruno.)

She sees Mirabel spending more and more time out in the village as she gets older. And that's…fine. Certainly nobody loves Casita more than Mirabel, and almost certainly vice versa. But she's stuck as a baby in their house. There's nothing Alma can do about it. What can Mirabel do? What will Mirabel do? Apparently nothing. She acts like a child, passing from duty to duty instead of finding her niche and filling in the spare time with fun. The family is a unit. They don't need a court jester. (A seamstress, though, they need, and Mirabel’s skill there is unparalleled. And yet she somehow never manages to compliment her on it without the words sounding just a little bit trite.)

She sees Mirabel become almost a big sister, a second (third) mother to Antonio. This is good. This is a sign that maybe Bruno was at fault, that she invented her theory about magical infection to excuse his leaving them all. Because how could Mirabel resent her little cousin? (But what about when he gets his gift? Or…what happens if he doesn't?)

She sees Mirabel wandering around the marketplace on Antonio’s birthday, cheering the family on. That’s good. That’s honestly a relief. Maybe things aren’t as bad as she feared. (She feels this odd urge to sing, thinks she hears music coming from somewhere, but that’s just one of those quirks of the encanto that’s sprung up in the last few years or so. A minor sign of worry? But nobody can change the world with a song. ...although apparently Dolores managed to walk a mile and back in about thirty seconds, but that’s probably just exaggeration coupled with distraction.)

She sees Mirabel leading a ragtag group of village children towards their house, with them chanting her name. Trying to make a mark for herself, certainly, but through a popularity contest instead of actual work? Making up for what she couldn't do with…what, showmanship? Espectacularidad? What was she doing?

She sees Antonio get his gift, and calls for a family photo, and realizes only after it's been taken that Mirabel chose not to be part of it. That she wandered away. Chose not to be part of the family. That stings a little, but she won't let it spoil Antonio's night. Not when the magic has returned to them. (And she tries very hard not to think about Bruno telling her that he learned to hear the rats he kept in his cave from the shaman.)

She sees Mirabel rushing back to call for help, talking about a breaking house.

She sees the cut on her hand.

She sees a clean floor, no cracks, no fallen tiles. So. Something is happening. But not yet. Maybe it's just a holdover from Mirabel's failure.

She sees the candle, and wishes Pedro were here instead of this light he left behind, and hates that she still would trade her family's gifts to have him (have them) back with them all because how is she any better than Mirabel?

She sees Mirabel shout at Luisa about magic disappearing the next morning and moves her to the head of the table to keep an eye on her.

She sees, after Mirabel shouts at her, runs after her, how Luisa's strength—her feeling whole—begins to slip away. And wonders about the shaman, and whether or not the crafty old devil has taught her granddaughter how to break a person by their name, or weave a song around them to crush them from the inside. She doesn’t know what her granddaughter is doing, but if she is using outside magic, if somehow she learned? This isn’t the way. She has to stop. They have no idea what that power could do to the encanto. Let it wait until after her sister is settled, and then...maybe she can work out when and how her granddaughter started dabbling in exotic powers.

She sees…well, really she wished she didn't see the whole dinner fiasco. Pepa's whole side of the family loses it. And all while whispering about Mirabel and Bruno's vision. No. No. Her son didn't leave because he was afraid of Mirabel destroying them all and wanted to save his own skin. She can't believe it. (Does she have to believe it?)

She doesn’t see the vision, she won't see the vision, but she sees Dolores’ face, and hears Agustín’s words about Mirabel standing in front of a house covered in cracks. She doesn’t hear Agustín’s defence, not really. Not when terror has gripped her insides and anger is so much easier to focus on than terror.

She sees the worry on the faces of the townsfolk as she gets that odd prickling sensation that she used to get when Bruno learned to do visions in the sand. But Bruno is gone. He left. So the magic, the outside magic, must be coming from someone else. Someone who has spent their life resenting their family for what they didn't have, from no fault of the family's for having those gifts. Someone—no. No. It's a coincidence. Mirabel wouldn't turn to other magic, why would she think to? Nobody talks about Bruno's training because nobody talks about Bruno. It's like those flashes of song she gets sometimes. (Don’t they use songs to work spells—no.)

She sees Isabela lose it. Thrust a flower forward hard enough to break her nearly-fiancé's nose. Twice. Sees her break through the roof of their house, break their house, scatter wild jungle plants across their home, bring the chaos of the outside into the encanto. Mirabel has somehow turned the family's oldest granddaughter, the most dutiful of all of them, into a madwoman. Taking from the others and perverting Isabela's power to her own ends. What the hell (pardon) those ends are, Alma doesn't know, but the whole family is in disarray and Mirabel is standing on the rooftop cackling as her older sister sings a song to the world about being more than people think she is, like her sister wants to be, like some mouthpiece—

She sees red.

[lucytara]

Yeah I get wanting some variation in your writing and whatnot. Hmm.

Gold. "I defy you. I defy your god. The laws of the universe said my love was gone from me. I said watch me save her." Bumbleby.

Have fun!

it’s possible. that i went. a little overboard with this prompt. 

"I defy you. I defy your god. The laws of the universe said my love was gone from me. I said watch me save her."

All four candles are lit in the corners of the small room, wicks burning purple and melting black wax. Her offering sits in a dish at the feet of the small statue - an old, worn piece of paper, bent and torn around its edges - and she herself kneels in the center of the floor, her hands clasped.

“I’ve never done this,” she begins, “but my name is Yang Xiao Long, and I humbly request an audience.”

Nothing happens, though she isn’t sure what she would’ve expected even if it had; the flames flicker with her unsteady heartbeat, the blood in her ears crashing as if waves in a storm. For some reason it’s embarrassing, calling on a higher entity who decides to put you through to voicemail.

She tries again, and aims for theatrical exaggeration; maybe the gods like a bit of a show. If she’s making a fool of herself, she might as well do it brilliantly. “O, Great Goddess! I call upon thee - All-Knowing Ruler of the Dead, Empress of the Night, Most Holy Lady of Darkness, Reigning Queen of Entropy--”

“I think that’s probably enough,” a voice comes from in front of her, amusement evident beneath its tone. “What was that one in the middle? ‘Empress of the Night’? I might keep that.”

Her head whips up towards the sound, and a woman in a deep purple cloak is leaning against her own statue, arms crossed and watching her performance with a look that can only be described as shameless delight. Gorgeous black hair framing golden eyes, like the sky wrapping itself around stars; the statue doesn’t do her justice.

“Oh my God,” Yang says, sitting back on her heels. All the preparation and rehearsing she’d done isn’t enough to conquer the shock of a beautiful, unearthly woman appearing in front of her and--

“Yes, I get that a lot.”

--mercilessly mocking her.

“Well, Yang Xiao Long?” the woman continues. “Why have you called upon me?”

“How do you know my name?” Yang says stupidly.

“I’m a god,” the goddess replies, a smile pulling at a corner of her mouth. “I’m the all-knowing ruler of the dead or whatever. Also, you said your name when you summoned me.”

“Fuck,” Yang says, struggling to regain her composure and failing spectacularly. “I - yeah. Right. Okay. Is it rude to swear in front of gods? And what do I call you?”

“I’ll allow it,” the woman says. “And you can call me Blake.”

“Blake,” Yang repeats; her hands open and close like a nervous tick. The name is a heavy weight in her mouth, settling her into steadiness. “I’ve come to request guidance.”

“Guidance?” Blake repeats, and gently lifts the note from the offering dish, turning it carefully around her hands without opening it to read it - she doesn’t need to. Yang registers faint surprise in her expression; yes, she’d assumed the sentimentality would fetch a rather large price. “This is quite the payment.”

“It’s the last note I have from someone who loved me,” Yang says. “I figured it would be sufficient.”

Those bright, inquisitive eyes glance over to her, and now the playing field has been reversed: intrigue and curiosity outweigh Yang’s atrocious initial delivery.

“Stand, please,” Blake commands softly. “I want to get a good look at you.”

Obediently, Yang rises to her feet, and with an odd jolt realizes she’s a few inches taller than the goddess. It’s unexpected, and it seems to unnerve Blake for a moment, too. Or maybe that’s the candlelight, throwing shapes and colors, turning the room cavernous. Maybe Blake is shrinking and she’s growing. Maybe once she was so tall the entire world trembled beneath her feet.

“You already have power,” Blake says, circling her curiously, and now she’s seeing what isn’t visible, looking for handprints on her soul. “You have been claimed. Whom do you answer to?”

“I didn’t receive this power from a god,” Yang says quietly. “I’ve had it as long as I can remember.”

“That’s impossible,” Blake says, and her gaze is piercing into Yang’s heart; she sees its strength, but she sees its scars, too. And its emptiness. There is plenty of that.

“Touch me,” Yang says. “You’ll find no prior claim.”

“I don’t need to.” Blake takes another step closer to her, the way you’d inspect a painting in a museum. Hands at her sides, cautious of glass and rope. “I can see your aura. But it’s impossible.”

“I’m looking for something,” Yang says, and Blake glances up, briefly meeting her eyes. “I don’t know what it is. But I’ve been looking for something for what feels like my entire life.”

Quizzical, now. One by one the candles are burning down. The room is collapsing in on them, or perhaps that’s simply the god in front of her, looking like she’d dive into Yang’s veins and unravel her if it were permitted.

“Why me?” Blake asks finally. “You know what I’m the goddess of, don’t you?”

“You guard death,” Yang says, her voice impossibly gentle; dusk flows river-like from her mouth. There is a world Blake can almost see. “But you can’t guard death without also guarding life, right? I don’t know what I’m looking for, but whatever it is, I imagine you encompass it.”

“Poetic,” Blake responds, and waits further. “I would like the truth, please. Our time is running short.”

There’s no point in playing games with gods. “The truth is stupid,” Yang says bluntly, and the corner of Blake’s mouth tilts again.

“Try me.”

“I’ll make you a deal,” Yang says, and Blake’s eyebrows raise in amusement. Bold, reckless, and absolutely pushing her luck to the furthest corners it can inhabit. “Accept me as yours, and when the time is right, I will tell you the truth.”

“Is the truth that powerful?” Blake says, curious despite herself.

The last candle flutters, throwing shadows from Yang’s eyelashes to her cheek. “I think it is.”

--

“Welcome back, Empress of the Night,” Ruby says upon her return to the Kingdom, giving her an exaggerated bow. “I hope you enjoyed your summon, My Lady of Perpetual Darkness.”

“What the hell was that about?” Weiss asks. “I haven’t even heard you crack a joke for, like, a millennia, and suddenly you’re the court jester?”

“She was amusing,” Blake says, shrugging. “Usually people are so timid and terrified. I felt like having some fun.”

“You?” Weiss says dubiously.

“Shut up, Weiss,” Ruby says. “You mustn’t speak that way to Our Patron Saint, Duchess of Death.”

“Now you’re not even trying.”

“Don’t you both have work to do?” Blake says, ending the interrogation before it can really begin. She’s not sure she’d have the answers for them, anyway.

--

Yang journeys east.

Find me again, Blake had said. The closer you get to my temple, the more I can see of you. She’d brushed aside Yang’s bangs, touched a single finger to her forehead. It felt like a teardrop, or a meteor shower. It felt like digging up a grave, or chiseling into stone. It felt like the last explosion. It felt like the first breath.

You are mine, Blake had said, and something about it had felt far too right.

She crosses from Sanus to Anima, spends days traversing forests and mountains, fending off bandits and monsters. Eyes flashing red and fire licking up her skin. Aura glowing golden before breaking. There is something wrong with the trees, she thinks; there is something wrong with the sky. Like I’m looking at them from the wrong side.

Nobody is there to answer her, and not for the first time, she wonders how she came to be so alone.

--

Blake watches Yang’s power unveil itself from above. Yang is hers, now, and though she can’t make house calls to the world below without a summon, she at least has instant access to her claims. There aren’t many of them, and Yang is different.

It reminds her of the God of Vengeance, almost - how he absorbs power before returning it, strike by vicious strike - but Yang’s is personal, sacrificial. She feels the pain before she can utilize it, and her anger is never cruel, her actions never misplaced. And she doesn’t complain.

Sometimes, Blake wishes she would: she can hear when she’s being talked to, even if she can’t respond. Every prayer, every curse, every devastation, every hope.

She waits for the sound of Yang’s voice, but it never comes.

--

There’s a small shrine in a village called Shion, which is still weeks out from the docks where she can potentially get a ferry to Menagerie, but the locals are kind, and honor her far too greatly for being touched by their ruling god. They direct her to their place of worship deep in the woods, and leave her without looking back. It’s a sacred thing, a bond between a god and their chosen, and law forbids them from watching her ceremony.

Yang pulls the candle from her pouch, lighting it at the foot of the shrine. She kneels down on the stone, worn with the imprints of a thousand prayers, and says, “Blake.”

“I was wondering when I’d hear from you again.” The voice comes almost immediately, as if its owner had been waiting to be beckoned.

It’s still a bit of a shock, though she’s much better prepared for it this time. “Hi,” Yang says, and stops there before she can fuck it up.

“Hi,” Blake says, and seems to be amused against her will. More guarded, less open. Yang can read the warning signs, but she’ll cut them off at the source.

“I’m sorry,” she says, and she means it, getting to her feet. “If I waited too long to contact you, I mean. I’m...not familiar with this area.”

“Don’t worry,” Blake says, lowering her arms. “It’s only been a few weeks. I won’t smite you until at least a month.”

Yang laughs, and unexpectedly to the both of them, Blake goes deadly still. Her body language says Yang’s done something wrong, but her expression says she’s hearing music.

The candle is burning. The moment can turn itself over gently, if Yang knows how to guide it. She keeps her smile on, but makes it quiet. “You know, I didn’t expect the Goddess of Death to have a sense of humor.”

It seems to work. “I like to surprise people,” Blake says, and moves closer. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“You never talk to me,” she says, pretending to be in control of something she clearly isn’t. “Why not?”

Only the forest speaks for a moment, branches creaking, leaves rustling. And then: “Do you want me to?” Yang asks.

“It’s...something people tend to do,” Blake says slowly. “But not you.”

“I didn’t want to bother you,” Yang says.

“It’s not a bother.” The words come out too quickly, tone too reassuring. Blake’s own want is what laces the conversation, rather than Yang’s uncertainty. That’s a new, dangerous line.

Yang takes a careful step forward, her eyes lowered to the ground as if in apology; they raise slowly, trailing over Blake’s form until meeting her gaze. Looking for lines she’s crossed, and should step back over; searching for lights that say go. Instead, she only finds an intense, hungry confusion - I want it without understanding what it is.

“You know,” she murmurs, “these statues - they never do you justice.”

And she lifts a hand to Blake’s cheek, hesitating over her skin - is that Blake’s catch of breath, or is it the wind? - before gently cupping it in her palm. She could lose an arm for this; touching a god without being explicitly asked is the greatest sin a mortal can commit, but Blake only stands there, unmoving, eyes wide and lips parted, the moon sitting in the hollow of her throat.

“Blake,” she whispers, and it can only be a god’s strength keeping her voice steady, “I’m never not thinking of you.”

The candle goes out.

--

Nobody is waiting for her when she returns. This is how gods give each other gifts - by saying, no, I see everything but I didn’t see you.

--

Yang starts talking to her, and changes her routes so that rather than taking the most direct path to Menagerie, she’s able to stop at some of the smaller shrines on the way. There are only two more, and she hasn’t called Blake since Shion. Yang hopes she’ll still come.

“Isn’t it strange,” Yang says, “how much easier it is to think about someone than to talk about them? I think about you differently than I can talk about you. I don’t even know if that makes sense.”

No response; not that she expects one. At this point, she assumes Blake’ll just kill her if she gets too annoying. Maybe a tree will fall on her, or she’ll do something embarrassing like trip over a rock and break her neck. “I can’t remember much about my life. I know there were people I loved, but I can’t see their faces. I must’ve traveled a lot; I don’t like sitting still. I don’t know how old I am, or even when my birthday is.” She’s never admitted this before; never admitted she came to lying on the ground, with only her name left ringing in her skull and a note in her pocket.

“I think you’re beautiful,” she tells the warm night air. “That’s what I was trying to say. Before. Blake, I think you’re beautiful.”

A star shoots across the sky, light trails leaving imprints against the swirling blue-purple-black of the galaxy, but it must be a coincidence.

--

Another shrine, another candle. This one burrowed into the side of a mountain, a dome of a room with a hand-woven rug for kneeling, several long benches behind. The statue sits against the far wall, centered.

“They’re getting better,” Yang says, getting to her feet. “This one, at least, gets your eyes right.”

“Hm,” Blake says, pressing her lips together. She moves to stand next to Yang rather than in front of her, and they both examine the statue together. “I suppose you’d know, wouldn’t you?”

“Were the compliments too much?” Yang asks, impressed with how light her voice sounds. She nudges Blake’s elbow with her own. Oh, she’ll see how much distance she can cross. She’s already walked miles - she’ll swim oceans, too. “You said you wanted me to talk to you.”

“I didn’t say that,” Blake denies unconvincingly, and then pauses. “And in regards to your first question - I didn’t say that, either.”

Yang could tease her - so even gods like being called pretty, huh - or she could be brave, turn to Blake, take her face in both of her hands and lean in--

“Yang,” Blake says, and does step one of that plan by turning to her. “What do you want from me?”

Maybe the idea’s overwhelmed her to the degree that she can no longer see its risks - its potentially horrible, literally life-ending consequences - and that's what drives her to do it. Maybe it’s that Blake is looking at her like a poem; something beautiful, not to be understood by anyone but the artist who made her.

“What would you do if I kissed you?” Yang says, as if it were merely an interesting, hypothetical concept to explore and not the end of the world. “Is that possible, even if you wanted me to?”

This room is warm and close and silent. The clay is cracking where the floor meets the walls. A tunneled-through skylight is the only thing that keeps Blake from swallowing the place in shadows, instead coating them in an amber, dream-like glow. Like if you mixed the two of them together, you’d still be left with light.

“I think,” Blake murmurs, “we’re both going to have to find that out.”

Step two of her plan. Both of her hands cupping Blake’s cheeks. She’s strangely aware of her lifelines - do they mean anything to you, she wants to ask, does my life mean anything to you now and if it doesn’t, will my death - she leans in, their noses brushing, Blake’s breathing as if she needs to, Yang isn’t and she does; teach me about magic, teach me about memory, tell me how I knew you before I knew myself--

Blake kisses her, tired of her caution and hesitancy, lips parting and fists knotting around the fabric of her shirt. Yang expects them to crash together, like comets. She expects them to crumble and collapse under the impact, buried in the ruins of each other and suffocating. She expects them to decay there, reveling in their own destruction.

What she doesn’t expect is sunlight.

Her skin set aflame, Blake’s tongue in her mouth, hands traveling from her face to her lower back and pressing close - somewhere a rule is being written about the gods and desperation - Blake pulls away, gasps, her fingers begging for Yang’s heart.

“This power,” she says, mesmerized, staring at things only she can see, golden gossamer roots running up Yang’s veins. “Where did you get it?”

“I don’t know,” Yang breathes out, and kisses her one last time before the candle burns out. “But I swear I’ve never felt closer to finding out.”

--

Nobody attempts to stop her from barging through God’s door. Weiss and Ruby, Sun and Neptune; they all avert their eyes. I see everything, but I do not see you.

“What is she?” Blake asks, standing before them with her head bowed. “Please, God. I need to know.”

“If you weren’t already sure,” God says, “you wouldn’t be here.”

She hates it when they’re right.

--

Yang hits the docks; situated on the outskirts of a fishing village called Ito, and with constant transport to Menagerie, their shrine to Blake is the largest one yet.

“And this one?” Blake asks, before Yang has even begun to pray.

“How did you do that?” Yang says, staring up at her, startled. “Are we, like, super close now?”

“Shut up,” Blake says, but she’s smiling. She extends a hand, helping Yang to her feet. “Your soul calls me. You barely even have to light the candle, anymore.”

The sound of the ocean knocks on the door; the smell tackles the windows. Above, the seagulls are crying out, angry at all the fish they can’t have. Yang says, “Hi.”

“Hi,” Blake says, and kisses her. Soft and chaste. Something so human and so immortal. “I missed you.”

“I’m your favorite, aren’t I?” Yang teases, her fingers catching Blake’s chin in her hands.

“No,” Blake says, and for the first time, smiles with her teeth. Oh, this is happiness. “I do this with everyone who requests my presence. I’m very popular.”

“I can imagine,” Yang says, brushing a thumb across her bottom lip. “So what else are you the god of?”

“You had a few of them right,” Blake says nonchalantly, settling against Yang’s body. She could be taller, if she wanted to be, but there’s so much beauty to see when looking up. “Night, and all things within it. Darkness, shadows. Death.”

“What else?” Yang says, watching her mouth shape every letter.

“Forgiveness, and justice,” Blake murmurs. Oh, there’s a fine print for this, and she’s violating every word. “Promises,” she continues. “Seduction.”

Hook, line - a heavy wave rattles the walls; oh, the sea, the sea! - Yang shudders against her mouth, salt sinking into her blood. Leaves her bouyant and floating, the earth bubbling up beneath her. Rising and rising and rising.

“Shockingly,” Yang says, letting Blake press kisses into the crook of her neck, “I don’t find that hard to believe.”

--

“God,” Blake finds herself standing before them once again, hands clasped and head bowed. She speaks formally in the presence of God, as is customary of respect. “Please, God. I am supposed to be guiding her, but I fear all I’ve done is lead her astray. I need to know where she came from, and where she is going.”

“Blake,” God says, and touches the top of her head with their hand, “she is close to your temple. Look at her, and tell me what you see.”

--

Menagerie is a busy, populated island, and Blake’s temple is the primary reason for that. Pilgrimages are made from around the world to pray at her shrine and leave offerings at her feet. Protect me from loss, help me navigate my grief, let me fulfill my promise.

Yang is none of those things. And when the keepers of the temple ask the reason for her journey, she says, “I am in love with her.”

“You have been touched,” one says, and bows to her upon entry. “You have as long as the goddess is willing to give you.”

The heavy doors close, but the room shimmers, firelight glittering over golden-accented walls. A large moon is carved into the marble floor, crossing over a sun. Before her is the largest, most intricately carved statue of Blake she’s ever seen, and it looks exactly like her.

Yang kneels.

“You know,” Blake says from behind her, “you don’t have to do that anymore.”

“No,” Yang says. “But it - it’s been a long journey. And I’m only here because of you.”

  Blake’s footsteps echo, her boots stopping at the north point of the sun. “How do you feel?”

It’s enough to make Yang smile. “I know you heard me,” she says pointedly, but her amusement is apparent. “You hear everything I say.”

“I thought I’d give you the chance to tell me yourself.”

For the last time, Yang rises to her feet. Blake’s eyes glitter, mischievous and playful. She looks as she always has, but clearer, somehow; defined and resolute. She carries the truth in the way she extends a hand, in the way she searches for Yang’s mouth. When they kiss, Yang swears she can see another world.

“I’ll tell you something better,” Yang says. “The truth.”

She leans down, bumps their foreheads together. Blake’s arms loop around her neck automatically. Oh, Yang thinks, if I were the god of anything, I’d want it to be habits.

“So what’s the truth?” Blake asks.

“The truth,” Yang says unshakably, “is that it was you. I woke up with no memory and a note, and somehow, I knew I had to find you. The only thing I’ve been searching for is you.”

It’s you, she says. It’s you. You. You.

--

“God,” Blake says, and this time God is ready for her.

“Blake Belladonna,” God says, and inclines their head. “Come. Show me what you have.”

In her hands is a small slip of paper, worn and ripped around the edges. “It is a note,” she says, and unfolds it gingerly. “It is a note, God, in my handwriting.”

“And what does it say?” they ask.

“Find me,” Blake recites, “and I promise I’ll bring you home.”

“Well,” God says whimsically, “you are the Goddess of Promises.”

--

Tears build in the corners of her eyes, shipwrecks gaining water. “Yang,” Blake whispers, and now that she is close, she can see everything. Meteors falling from their showers; the day the sun went out. “Yang. I’m sorry. I’m so, so--”

“Shh,” Yang murmurs, pressing her lips into Blake’s hair. “What are you apologizing for? I found you, and you brought me home.”

--

“Oh, this is exciting,” God says. “I so rarely get to come to Remnant on business.”

“God,” Yang says, and bows her head. The temple doors remain locked; Blake’s hand is clutched tightly in her own. “It’s good to see you.”

“And you, Yang Xiao Long,” says God. “You fell in the last war, over five-hundred years ago. Do you remember this?”

“Yes,” she says. “I was trying to protect my sister.”

“And what happens when a god falls?”

“We forget them,” Blake says. “Their power is forfeit; they are erased from our memories, and our world.”

“It is not a law of justice, but a law of reality,” God says. “Or it was, previously. Only you did not forget immediately, Blake Belladonna. I did not know it was possible for two souls to be so intrinsically bound that they leave traces in the other, but you did not forget, just long enough to leave her a message. It took five hundred years for Yang to fall to earth, and when she awoke, she did not forget, either.

“Gods are made, and this means that what we are gods of can change,” they continue. “Blake, you were not previously the Goddess of Death. You became it because you believed that Yang had died, and no god had as strong a connection to loss as you. Your power became a beacon, just as it now will be a beacon for Remembrance.

“And you, Yang Xiao Long,” God says. “Goddess of the Sun, of Loyalty, of Sacrifice. You were many things. And now you are the Goddess of Rebirth.”

[angelsndragons]

fjord’s feelings for caduceus changed in episodes 98-99

by which i mean, fjord finally realized how special and important he is to caduceus, which in turn set the tone of their relationship for the rest of the campaign. buckle up, this is a long one.

not when fjord threw away his sword and went to caduceus instead of jester. or when caduceus presented him with the star razor. or after the citadel fight when caduceus gave him his holy symbol. i think things changed for fjord in episode 98-99, when caduceus saved his life and removed the orb.

this is going to require some context.

because here’s the thing: fjord’s always looking for the price, waiting for the catch or other shoe to drop. people caring for him because of him with no strings attached is unprecedented. vandren and the world taught fjord that love is conditional, that only if you hide what others would find ugly and make yourself useful to them will they deign to give you a scrap of affection. i don’t think vandren did this maliciously, mind you, it was just part of his worldview and fjord’s life up to and beyond that point supported it. we can see that right up to the end of the show, where fjord is terrified that vandren didn’t remember him or that he didn’t mean nearly as much to the man as vandren did to him.

so we have fjord, who learned to don masks and hide his truest self, including his best and worst aspects. while fjord made the nein into a coherent group, into a force, a crew, a family, even, he still waited for that other shoe to drop. waited for the day that they would reject him because he was no longer useful or because he pushed them too far. you can see this waiting all over the early campaign; he’s not looking for an excuse like caleb to cut and run but he anticipates nearly all the moments that almost fractured the nein, in spite of that low wisdom score. while jester carried the guilt of not being able to save molly, fjord carried the guilt of not protecting the group in that crucial moment. travis confirmed on talks that fjord’s biggest fear when he lost his powers the first time was that he would no longer be useful and be kicked out of the group. 

that’s why fjord damn near broke down at the end of 72. the nein, no questions asked, with their standard level of snark, accepted that he was going to be a liability and kept him around anyway. armed him anyway. declared that he was no liability and that they would help him along until he could help himself and them again. this unconditional acceptance caught fjord completely off guard. it always does, really. because caduceus had said for months, an out of game half a year, that he was looking to reforge the sword as a gift for fjord. he said this to fjord’s face. he did not change course when he learned that the sword was a legendary blade forged by acolytes of the wildmother and moonweaver. the blade was still meant for fjord, even if fjord was still chained to uk’otoa. fjord extends his love and protection to the nein but is still not convinced the reverse is true. he was starting to believe it but he wasn’t quite there yet.

caduceus has a high enough wisdom to understand that’s fjord’s hang up even if he doesn’t quite understand the reasoning behind it. that’s why he pulls fjord aside in ep 75 and tells him that he doesn’t have to choose the wildmother, that there are other gods and other ideas out there looking for a champion. fjord, who at this point considers wildmom his only option (travis says she’s the only one who’s shown the slightest interest in fjord and that’s why he’s gunning for her), is befuddled by caduceus and this whole talk, so much so the pair end up talking past each other for the next several episodes.

after fjord officially becomes a paladin, things between him and caduceus become fairly...unsettled compared to their previous interactions. they talk past each other more, they aren’t in sync enough to double team those social interactions they were just starting to get good at. things are just weird for a while. to me, that’s fjord waiting for the catch, waiting for caduceus to call in some favor or something like it. and he keeps getting confused when caduceus doesn’t. so he tries once or twice to follow in caduceus’ footsteps and do as he would instead. and it just makes things weirder. these two don’t have a moment together that doesn’t leave one of them confused or unsatisfied until ep 87, when caduceus gives fjord the holy symbol and inadvertently kicks off the next phase of their relationship. because here, caduceus tries to put them back on equal footing and fjord recognizes it. caduceus rejects framing their relationship as mentor/student and tells fjord he doesn’t need caduceus to give him answers. fjord is “well on his way.”

by defining what they aren’t, mentor/student, our two boys inadvertently ask the question, “so what are we?” honestly, it’s a question that the entire group grapples with in the 90s as they reintegrate yasha, as veth struggles with the question of changing back and whether she can stay with the nein, as beau tries to sacrifice herself for veth, as jester learns some uncomfortable truths about the traveler, as caduceus finds his family again. fjord and caduceus can easily define what they aren’t - not mentor/student, not brothers or cousins- but what they actually are stumps both of them.

their relationship doesn't look like any of their relationships with the others: beau is fjord's bro and first mate, caleb is fjord's complicated mirror and admiree, jester his crush and first person he learned to be vulnerable with, veth his antagonistic sibling. on caduceus' side, caleb is the one he looks to for a fellow project nerd and clear, unvarnished goals, beau and jester are the sisters caduceus misses, yasha the quiet beloved barbarian he understands better than the rest, and veth a mess he wants to help but can't. but fjord and caduceus' relationship is highly undefined at this point. notably undefined, beyond their newly shared connection to melora. at the dinner with essek, we get the stone bomb. and travis and fjord panic. like no, seriously, they spend the next four episodes low key panicking over this revelation. this ties back to fjord waiting for those other shoes to drop but it’s also more than that.

when it comes to destiny, fjord has always been the answer, the self made man, to both caduceus and caleb’s questions about destiny. he makes choices about who he is, who he wants to be, and takes actions towards those goals. he is one of those rare people who can wear many different masks, take on many different roles, while still maintaining his sense of self and becoming a fuller version of who he is. when I say fjord is the answer to destiny, what i mean is that he is what ioun said way back in c1 about Fate: mortals make choices and through those choices, destiny is fulfilled. he is the answer to caduceus' own growth from passive instrument waiting for someone to play him to active communicator in this conversation between gods and mortals. in this sense, fjord is what caduceus learns to be (this is exactly why caduceus rejects a mentor role; he has as much to learn from fjord as vice versa).

so for this coincidence to pop up, this idea that maybe fjord only had the illusion of choice to extend his service to the wildmother, that maybe somehow he was manipulated again, that there was some grand destiny pushing things and fjord had no say in it, yeah, i can see why fjord was low-key terrified. so is this what fjord and caduceus are: just some predestined grand fairy tale partnership neither of them have that much say in? episode 96 resoundingly rejects that label too. for one thing, none of the stones or clays treat fjord's last name as anything amazing or spectacular. for another, this string of episodes gives us caduceus at his most human. the terror of not knowing what happened to his family, the uncertainty of his homecoming, the relief of saving his family and home, the irritation at the way the chaos crew treats the temple, the playful attitude caduceus cultivates after, it's all on display. caduceus drops much of his placid exterior and willingly allows the nein to see sheer depth of emotion he has.

which leads me back to episode 98-99. uk’otoa’s agents come for fjord. and caduceus is pissed. travis and ashley both said on talks that they hadn’t really seen taliesin that pissed, that it was like someone had threatened an actual loved one of his. fjord dies. and comes back to an exhausted, still pissed off firbolg who is five seconds away from snapping archmage vess derogna’s head off for interrupting his prayer of healing. taliesin doesn’t even begin to relax until they start interrogating the dead fish people the next day. once caduceus confirms the ball is still in fjord, notably caduceus and caleb were the two who remembered, fjord starts asking for a way to remove it. he asks caduceus to start a commune with wildmom in tandem with jester’s commune with the traveler. caleb tells fjord that caduceus fought “very hard for you while you were down, i don’t know if he’s up to it.” having heard that, caduceus still tries, with his first divine intervention attempt of the campaign. and when jester figures out that greater restoration will work, caduceus pushes through his exhaustion, takes charge, and goes through a truly terrifying greater restoration with fjord to remove the ball. convulsing, seizing, shuddering, collapsing, etc.

in those moments, and in the quiet after when fjord confirms that he still has his powers, it finally hits him that yes, people can protect, fight, and love him for who he is alone. there is no chain or other shoe waiting to be dropped here. the wildmother is no uk’otoa, to punish or take power at a whim. caduceus will fight with everything he has and then some for fjord because he loves him (not for nothing does fjord only realizes the depths of jester’s feelings when she uses heal on him). who are caduceus and fjord to each other? they are people who will fight for one another and the others as far as they can. fjord says over and over again that he wants to protect the nein and look out for them because he cares for them. he demonstrates it over and over again as well. caduceus says basically the same thing; he wants everyone safe and happily on their way and will stay until they are. he demonstrates this all the time as well. this is, i think, the first time that he demonstrates his dedication so unequivocally, free of the artifice of duty, fully committed through love. fjord recognizes this in caduceus and caduceus does in fjord.

i say this is a turning point because, while they don’t really have another super in depth conversation alone together, these two start clocking each other and openly help and look out for each other. there’s an ease and intimacy to the relationship after this. fjord watching caduceus swim near vokodo’s lair, fjord being ready to hand over his armor to caduceus when it looks like his won’t be ready, fjord, caduceus, and beau plotting behind jester’s back to keep her safe from the traveler, the absolute offense fjord takes to eadwulf after he spoke to caduceus like that, fjord levels up in paladin after caduceus tells him he’s proud to know him, all the way to the end of the show when fjord shelters the clerics and tells them to finish lucien, we get little moments like these from both of them. hell, caduceus is the first person in the campaign to tell fjord directly that he loves him.