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dameronspector · 16 days ago

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Philophobia (Part 11)

Pairings: Joaquin Torres x Stark!Reader, Sam Wilson x Platonic!Reader, Bucky Barnes x Platonic!Reader

Chapter Summary: You receive a call from a shield agent, John Walker commits a crime, You’re going through a lot, Sam and Bucky are worried dads, Joaquin is the best person in the whole world (and you might be in love with him.)

Warnings: Cursing, Angst, Fluff, Tension (no smut), Revisiting Past, Mentions of Depression and Phobias, Panic Attacks, Isolation, Reader has PTSD, Reader is guilt ridden (they’re basically a younger version of Tony ☹️), Guns/Bullets, Injuries, Gore, Murder, That scene from ep4 where Walker goes crazy, Joaquin loves Reader so much, Joaquin is whipped, A Cameo, Nicknames, that’s all I think!

Also, secret invasion is a confusing ass show, so please ignore any stupid timeline mistakes cus i don’t understand that show at all. And besides, this is fanon <3

AN: this one is a lot, poor reader goes through a lot, Joaquin is a babyboy. Hope I did the PTSD descriptions correctly, if there’s anything wrong, please let me know! I’ve only studied the disorder, I don’t have it.

"Incoming call: Everett Ross."

It was a little too quiet and you jumped slightly at FRIDAY's voice, causing Joaquin to wrap his arms tighter around you. You tried budging but he leaned his head on top of yours instead.

"Joaquin, I have to take this", you murmured against his warm chest. He inhaled the scent of your strawberry shampoo deeply before reluctantly releasing you, his hands brushing over your arms gently.

Picking up the call, you leaned against the counter, Joaquin standing shoulder to shoulder with you, the arms around his chest brushing against yours. He looked at you closely, his gaze never leaving you or your lips.

"Hello?", you answered a little confused, because why was Ross calling you?

"Rhodey is with me. We're heading towards the hospital right now. Fury told me to inform you."

You stood up straight, "What? How is he-I don't understand. Weren't you in Wakanda?"

Ross sighed on the phone, "It's a long story, I don't have time-"

"Wait! Ross, where's Rhodey? Is he okay?", your voice wavered slightly. Joaquin put a hand on your back to soothe you.

"He's alright. They're gonna scan him for abnormalities and check his braces for any issues. They're taking him to New York. I-" his voice was cut off by some chaos in the background, "I gotta go. You should talk to Pepper and Happy for further updates", and he ended the call.

You set your phone down and buried your face in your hands, a huge sigh of relief leaving your body.

"What's up?", Joaquin asked, his head ducking to look at your face better.

You removed your face from your hands and looked at him with glassy eyes, "He's okay. They're taking him back to New York."

Joaquin let out a breath, "Oh, that's great", his hand smoothing up and down your back. You lean into the touch.

"You wanna go back? See him?", he offers, his face melted into that open and understanding look.

You bit your lip in contemplation. As much as you'd love to visit him, you'd immediately feel bad if you abandoned Sam and Bucky (and Joaquin) halfway through.

"I don't-"

You were cut off by Joaquin's phone ringing. He furrowed his eyebrows when he noticed that it was Sam. He murmured that it's Sam to you and picked up the call.

"Yeah?", he greeted while you chewed at the skin around your thumb.

"What?!", Joaquin suddenly exclaimed and you jumped, looking at him with concern in your eyes.

"Shit, man. Alright- yeah, of course. Alright", He spoke into the phone before ending it, rubbing a hand across his face.

Your face dropped further.

"What-what is it?", you asked him with urgency.

"Karli threatened Sarah and Sam's nephews", he murmured lowly, a hand on his hip.

"What the hell?", your eyes widened in shock. There's no way she went this far, right?

"Sam's asked me to track her for safety, see if any of the flagsmashers actually reach them."

You chewed on the inside of your cheek in thought.

Joaquin moved out of the kitchen area to get his laptop, you took a seat on the couch next to him.

"Check if her location is safe as well. If not, I'll send you the coordinates to a safe house. Contact her and ask her to move there", you offered and Joaquin nodded in agreement, fingers flying across the keyboard to tap into Sarah's phone.

You lifted your watch up to your mouth, "FRIDAY, track Sam and Bucky, let them know I'll be laying low as a backup."

Joaquin simply looked at you. You guiltily met his eyes, which were blown wide with worry, pink lips tugged low into a frown. Flashing him a sheepish smile, you grabbed his face and let your lips meet in a slow kiss.

He instantly closed his eyes, melting into the kiss like a bee to a flower, tasting the sweet nectar of your lips. His perfect nose pressed into your cheek lightly, curls tickling your forehead as he moved his head, a hand coming up behind your head to keep you there, free hand coming up to caress your wrist tenderly.

You smoothed the swell of his cheeks with your thumbs, parting for air before pecking his lips softly.

You locked eyes with each other, his shimmering brown ones looking into your soul, his cheeks tinged with pink and lips slightly swollen. Somehow, even in the low light of the living room, his beautiful moles were still visible to you. Your eyes raked across his glowing face, his were fixated on your eyes.

"I have to go", you whispered in an apologetic tone, your eyes swimming with guilt and determination, both.

He scrunched his brows in thought, the hand behind your head massaging your hair gently.

"I know", he murmured in understanding. He admired loved your steadfast loyalty.

"And you won't do stupid shit?", he lowly added, repeating the same words he'd told you in the morning.

You smiled then, a genuine smile, the signature lopsided Stark smile that made your eyes shine brightly.

"I'll try", you replied back. He gave you a close lipped smile before pressing a sweet kiss to your cheek.

He joined you in the doorway, pressing one last kiss to your helmeted face, his face drained with worry as he watched you blast off in the sky.

There was an uneasy knot in his stomach, that was stretched so hard, he was worried it'd snap at any moment.

He just hoped you'd return back to him safely.

"(Name), stay close, but hidden. And keep the suit on."

Bucky's low voice came through your comms as you made your way through the darkened corners of the abandoned building, your light footsteps and the low whirring from the suit being the only sound to be heard. FRIDAY displayed their location to you, they were on the floor opposite to the room you were hiding in, their location being two tiny dots in front of your eyes.

FRIDAY told you that Karli was with them, and that she had mapped the whole layout of the building for you but there was no one else in the building, other than the four of you.

A few moments passed when Joaquin's voice came through the comms, "(Name), Walker's moving. I'll send you the location."

And that's when the chaos started.

The four of you immediately booked it to Walker's location, you being slightly behind the three of them on purpose, so that Karli wouldn't spot you and do something worse.

FRIDAY guided you to the location, Sam flying in front, as Karli ran behind Bucky. Sam broke into a glass rooftop, you were close on his heels, dropping down the broken window and joining Sam.

He gestured you cover him and you gave him a nod, blasters held up and ready to defend.

Suddenly the glass door in front of you shattered, a person flying through it and hitting the wall harshly and damaging the panel on it, while Walker approached the man closely, his nostrils flaring in anger.

Your grimaced. This was going to be messy.

The man broke a pipe from the wall and Walker grabbed it aggressively, turning the man around before bending the pipe in half.

You blinked in shock, Sam froze.

Walker had just bent a steel pipe in half. With his bare hands.

"Fuck, he's taken the serum", Joaquin exclaimed through the comms. You inhaled sharply, Sam shaking his head in disbelief.

Walker threw the man down the stairs and past you and Sam, the man running away promptly.

Walker looked at Sam and descended the stairs, keeping eye contact with Sam.

"What'd you do?", Sam asked Walker in disbelief.

"They've got Lemar", he sneered and walked past the two of you, trailing the man who ran away.

Sam looked at you and the two of you ran behind Walker, hoping to save Lemar in time.

The long corridor gave way to a huge open area, covered in glass roof on top with a long table in the middle that was scattered with broken chairs, papers and random beds littered the corners of the room. If it was in any normal circumstances, this would've been a lively place, the natural light seeping through the coloured glass made the space feel bigger than normal, the arched windows surrounding the space gave it a rustic and medieval look, the columns and pillars making it look like a roman foyer.

But it was not a normal circumstance, and you weren't normal people, so as soon as the three of you entered the empty area, two people jumped from above you, landing directly in front of Sam and Walker, their bodies ready to fight.

You stood in between the two men, Walker hitting the flagsmashers with his shield and Sam kicking them enough to stop them from landing punches.

One of them pulled out a knife, Walker made a snarky comment about it, before charging at the man. You blasted the man away, him slamming into the steel doors at the entrance while Sam flew back from a kick.

Walker hit them with the shield again, the man with the knife scraping the shield before Walker pushed his hand away, the knife flying into the air, only to be caught by Bucky.

You smirked but it faded away quickly when you realised that you were cornered, as more flagsmashers entered the room, one of them coming up from behind you, their arms around your neck.

You grunted before engaging your thrusters, flying away from the ground with the person hanging off of you, and slamming them against the wall. They fell off, leaving you hovering above them all.

"You okay?", came in Joaquin's nervous voice.

"Yes", you breathed out, swooping in to blast a person off from Sam's back. Grunts and curses echoed off the walls, all four of you engaged in combat with a flagsmasher each, when one of them restrained John.

You were dodging punches from a man who held your blaster hand into his hand, restricting your movement when it all went downhill.

Karli came running in, sliding across the table to stab Walker and Lemar charged at her from behind Walker. Karli pushed him away and punched him. Hard.

He slammed against the huge pillar roughly, causing it to crack and the room fell into deadly silence. Everyone stopped fighting, the man fighting you left your hand and walked up behind Karli, leaving you staring at Lemar's unmoving body.

You gasped, Sam and Bucky's face hardened with shock and Walker froze into his captor's arms.

Walker pushed him away and walked towards Lemar, his breathing quickened and hands trembling. The flagsmashers looked at each other in fear.

You looked at Lemar's body in shock and a with a human-level of compassion. He was a good man. He kept Walker in line and was sensible. This shouldn't have happened.

You almost felt bad for Walker's panicked state as he kneeled by his best friend, trying his hardest to breathe some life into Lemar's still body.

The flagsmasher exchanged a look and ran away, leaving the four of you behind with Lemar. You slowly made your way over to Sam and Bucky, them observing Walker closely, faces dimmed with condolences for Lemar.

Karli ran out the door at the end of the room, her footsteps bringing your attention back to the present. Sam and Bucky ran after her, you lingered behind to see what Walker does next.

He licked his lips in annoyance before he took off, running towards the window and jumping through it, the sound of glass breaking piercing through the still air.

"Shit!", you cursed and blasted off behind him, flying above his now super soldier form as he hunted the man down.

"John, stop!", you called out to him as he ran. He turned around to look at you and scowled in response, dodging a cement block thrown by the man with the shield.

"Where is she?!", he barked, his voice heavy with vengeance.

They ran through an alley before Walker hit the man with the shield, the alley opening into a square full of civilians.

Walker striked the flagsmasher again, the man stumbling behind with a gasp as the shield met with his torso. Landing slowly, you deactivated the suit, appearing in your your t-shirt, jeans, boots and your dad's jacket to make yourself seem less like a threat, your PR training kicking in as you saw the civilians with their phones in their hands.

If Walker did something stupid right now, this would be a catastrophic PR disaster.

"John, stop it. We're in a civilian area-"

"I don't care!", he growled, hitting the man twice as hard with the shield, the man slamming into the fountain's footsteps harshly, unable to get up as Walker kept striking him with the shield.

Your face hardened, as if you could sense where this was going.

"(Name)...someone's gotta stop this", Joaquin warned.

"I don't think it's gonna work", you simply stated, your face twisted into a grimace when you felt a presence behind you—Sam and Bucky.

You looked at them for a second and noticed their eyes widen.

Whipping your head around, you saw John Walker lift the shield up, his face a raw mess of emotions and he slammed down the shield on the man.

People around you gasped, pulling out their phones to record the unbelievable sight of a man in stars and stripes committing a murder publicly, mad rage consuming him fully, making him look more like a villain, less like the hero he was meant to be.

Your eyes widened, a disturbed look taking over your face as the blood splattered on Walker, the stairs, the man's clothes, in the water and the most horrifying sight of it all—the shield.

The entire bottom half of it was covered in thick blood and body matter. A sight so gruesome and painful, that you couldn't stop the whimper leaving your mouth, your body turning around on it's own accord and slamming against Bucky's chest, his strong arm coming around your shoulder protectively, keeping you close to him and your gaze away from the murder scene.

It reminded you of the footage from your father’s kidnapping, and of the recording you’d seen in anger after the Sokovia fight, demanding FRIDAY to show you the footage of when Steve tried to kill your dad, the blood reminding you of the blood you saw on your father’s still body.

It made you uneasy, because he looked too much like Steve, he wore Steve's colours and Steve's shield and he had maimed the title of Captain America. Seeing the shield be used for something as immoral as this made your heart squeeze uncomfortably, feeling like another part of your life was damaged now.

You felt your body lock up and ears make a staticky noise, the neurons in your brain completely shut off and your hands cold to the touch.

Because yes, it was a murder. Done in broad daylight. By a Captain America. With the shield which was protected from all this because a good man wielded it. Which stood for humanity because Steve Rogers was the most noble of them all, because Steve Rogers was a mere boy who understood what it meant to be a humanitarian symbol. To be a protector and to protect the underdog.

Now? It was marred with the blood of a man, who might've not been innocent, but he surely didn't deserve this. All because it was given to someone who didn't deserve it. Who was selfish. Who was not inherently good or sensible like Steve Rogers or Sam Wilson.

And just like that, the history of the shield was tainted and suddenly you wished that Steve was alive, and had made sure that the shield went to it's rightful owner: Sam Wilson, the man with the biggest, largest and more gracious heart and soul that you've ever seen in someone.

Your ears were ringing, a faint voice persistently echoing in between your heavy thoughts, your hands bunching up the fabric of Bucky's leather vest.

"��Kid, look at me", Bucky's careful voice pulled you out of your thoughts, your body flinching against his as you became aware of your surroundings.

Your eyes opened to see Sam's worried face in front of you, "Hey, sweetheart? You okay?", he asked softly.

You took a few calming breaths before nodding in agreement, your cheek brushing against Bucky's vest. Swallowing thickly you pulled away from his embrace, his hand automatically twisting you around so that you didn't look at the scene again.

"You're going back", Bucky announced firmly, his eyes flitting up at Sam, who nodded.

You made an upset face, "But-"

"No. You're goin' back. That's final", Sam conceded, a stern look on his face that said ‘no more arguments.’

You rolled your eyes before muttering a small 'Okay', letting the suit envelop you and asking FRIDAY to take you back to Zemo's place, your body tensed with the shock you had just experienced.

Turns out, Joaquin’s gut instinct was right, except you didn’t come back with any physical injuries.

He got up to receive you at the door, his face slack with relief, until he noticed that you stood there blankly. Your hair a mess, face dull and eyes unfocused.

"(Name)?", he asked carefully, a hand coming up to rest on your shoulder when you suddenly brushed past him, not even meeting his eyes once.

His eyebrows furrowed deeper, hand hovering in place of your shoulder, neck craned to watch you shuffle into the bedroom.

It was clear something huge had happened, but he wasn't sure, as Sam and Bucky had gone offline and FRIDAY said she couldn't track redwing anymore.

Joaquin steeled himself and decided to check on you.

He padded across the marble floors, the sunset bringing in the coolness in the air which caused him to wince, the freezing floors making his feet cramp uncomfortably.

He'd long changed into his white hoodie and black sweatpants, his curls free of all the gel and his glasses perched on his nose. He entered the room to discover that you had curled up into a ball on the bed, still in your jacket and jeans, as well as your shoes, which, Joaquin was shocked to discover because you didn't wear footwear indoors. He knew you'd crib to yourself about it later, so he decided to help you.

Slowly making his way towards your feet, he gently untied the laces of your Nikes, when you stirred. He paused, hands hovering in the air as he looked up at you.

Your hands were tucked into the hollow of your neck, jacket slightly bunched up and hair a proper mess. Your eyes were hollow, as if you were trying to block any emotion from them, jaw tensed as if there was an invisible weight dragging it down.

Your exhausted eyes looked at him in surprise, mouth slightly open as you observed his stance.

"What're you doin'?", your voice came out muffled because of the collar of the jacket bunched up around your face.

Joaquin shuffled awkwardly, "Trying to remove your shoes...you don’t like wearing them inside so…”

You quirked an eyebrow in response.

“Is this a form of courting or something?”, you teased him, trying to ignore the butterflies fluttering in your stomach, your face heating up from how much he paid attention to you.

If it was someone else in his place, they would’ve just let you rot here, wallowing in your weird emotions and thoughts.

But not Joaquin, never Joaquin. He was always so attentive. So caring. He made an excuse to keep you company and remembered your preferences at the same time. You weren’t sure what you did to deserve him.

Joaquin blushed at your comment. Hard.

His cheeks were instantly splotched with pink, the glasses and fluffy curls making him look oh so soft, the white hoodie oversized on his body.

You felt your chest ache with longing, wanting to wrap yourself around him, breathe in his citrus scent and melt into his body until you weren’t sure where he’d start and where you’d end.

But you couldn’t. Not when you were this…mess.

“I-uh. I just wanted to make sure you’re comfortable…you look exhausted”, he replied softly.

“Wow, thanks for making me feel special, Torres”, you quipped, a finger rubbing the bridge of your nose.

“No! Oh my god—no. I didn’t mean it like that-”, he sputtered before letting out a breath. He sat down next to your feet, finally removing your shoes. He removed your socks next, dropping them next to the bed, hands massaging into your soles.

“You don’t have to do all that”, you rasped, slowly getting up from the fetal position.

“I want to”, he insisted and continued working on your feet.

You paused at his statement, staring at him in disbelief for a while. After a few minutes of silence, Joaquin spoke up again, his thumbs brushing over your ankle.

“Are you okay?”, he lowly asked, chocolate eyes looking at you in concern.

You leaned back against the headboard gingerly, mindful of your ribs and rested your head on the wall, eyes closed in contemplation.

Were you okay? Have you been okay for the past few months? Who even are you now?

A humourless laugh left your mouth, Joaquin stopped the ministrations of his thumb on your skin, his entire body dialed into yours.

“If you call having a panic attack at the sight blood okay, then, sure. I’m okay”, you flatly confessed.

He froze, mouth slightly open in shock. His hand completely left your ankle, you mourned the loss of his warmth and softness, but understood why’d he do it. Because why would someone want to be with a fucked up person like you? Someone who had too many skeletons in their closet. Too much baggage to drag around.

So you just accepted it, swallowing thickly against the lump lodged in your throat, fingers fidgeting with each other.

To your surprise, you felt the bed dip beside you.

You opened your eyes slowly, keeping your head leaned against the wall. Joaquin’s spectacled face was right in front of you, his bent knee touching the side of your thigh, curls falling onto his forehead in gentle waves. You suddenly realised, that this was the first time you’d seen him in glasses.

And he looked a little too pretty. You fought the urge to kiss him stupid.

“You wanna talk about it?”, he asked carefully, a warm hand resting on your thigh in support, his face melted into something earnest.

You felt that tug in your chest again. Why was he so good to you?

And your treacherous eyes pooled with tears, your vision becoming blurry. You tried blinking them away, but they were too thick, and your blinking caused them to stream down your face.

Joaquin tensed up, a deep frown etching onto his lips.

“Hey hey hey, you’re okay. I got you, angel”, he whispered, his hands coming up to wipe the tears away.

You sniffled, looking into those sparkling eyes of his and the words tumbled out of you.

“Walker killed one of the flagsmashers in public.”

Joaquin’s eyes widened in horror, “What?”

“Yeah. Sam and Bucky have gone after him. And Walker’s definitely taken the serum.”

Joaquin’s hands fell down to your elbows, unknowingly shifting closer to you, his warmth beckoning you closer as it radiated off him.

“Fuck. It’s gotta be all over the Internet and shit now”, he mumbled in irritation, a dent appearing in between his eyebrows.

You nodded, “Yep. Everyone was filming it.”

He looked at you for a moment before asking, “Did that…cause the panic attack?”, his thumbs making absentminded circled on your bicep.

You hummed.

“It was kinda like a PTSD attack? I don’t know. I’ve had so many of those these past few years, that I don’t know which one’s, which. Just that, the way Walker stood above that man…the blood…it was— it was too familiar. He—”, you choked on your words, a sob threatening to break out of your mouth.

Joaquin simply caressed your arms gently, patiently waiting for your next move.

You swallowed.

“He looks too much like Steve. The face. The hair. The suit. The shield. The title. And—Joaquin, you should’ve seen the shield. It was covered in blood and body matter. He’s—Walker’s ruined the legacy. As much as I fought with Steve, I know this isn’t what he stood for. He—he would never approve of this.”

You were hyperventilating now, your breathing quickened as you tried to get all of the thoughts out of your mind at once. Joaquin’s heart thundered against his chest, unable to see you in pain like this.

“Angel, breathe, please—”

“And—and the shield belongs to Sam. He’d never let this happen. And now Steve’s not here to fix this. They won’t let Sam fix this. I—I’m fucking useless because—“, you let out a small sob, “because…if dad was around he’d fix this. I can’t- I couldn’t even save my uncle…why did I think I’d be able to save you guys I—”

You cut yourself off with a sob, your body heaving with the effort required to breathe, hands shaking like a caffeinated insomniac, looking for a tether to hold onto, body heavy with guilt.

Joaquin slid a hand behind your head and pulled you in, letting you rest your head on his shoulder, his other hand going around your back to rub it soothingly, the hand behind your head massaging your scalp.

He leaned his head on yours, eyes closing in sadness and a gaping, painful hole in his chest. He wished he could take away all of your pain and bear it onto his shoulders. He was aware, that he’d never understand what you were going through. And yet, he wanted to take it on himself, just so you could live freely.

He’d had his fair share of trauma but thankfully he had his mom, abuela and sister with him for all of that. You’d lost half of your family. Including your best friend—your father. Joaquin would never understand the pain you feel on the daily, the way your mind seems to be your biggest enemy, but he’d make sure that he’d protect you and love you through it all.

“Shh. It’s okay, angel. I got you, always. I’m here”, he cooed into your ear, your arms slowly circling his waist and snuggling closer into his body, your tears dampening his hoodie.

His presence was like a balm to your fractured soul, his steady and supportive arms protecting you from everything.

You weren’t sure how long you sat there, crying on his shoulder. He hadn’t moved an inch, his strong arms kept you close, lips finding your temple every now and then.

Eventually you cried yourself to sleep, your head heavy against his shoulders and breathing slowed, arms loose behind his back. He carefully removed your jacket, wanting you to sleep comfortably and laid you down, his hand gently placing your head on the pillow.

After tucking the duvet around you, he kneeled down, his hand smoothing your hair back and eyes fluttering all over your dewy face, thumb sliding down to smooth the dent in between your brows.

He felt his heart sieze with a realisation—he’d do anything for you. It was a scary thought, but a real one. He promised himself that he’d never, ever let anybody, not even himself or you, hurt you. You deserved a peaceful and soft life, and Joaquin would do anything to give it to you.

Leaning forward to press a tender kiss on your forehead, he stood up and made his way out into the living area to grab his laptop and phone, choosing to crash on the couch by the window in the bedroom, his chest aching at the thought of leaving you alone, in such a state.

He took one last look at your peaceful form before diving back into work, trying to make contact with Sam again.

Part 12

AN: They’re so cute I CRY.

Please like and reblog!! <3

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#joaquin torres x stark!reader #joaquin torres x reader #fluff #danny ramirez #joaquin torres #the falcon and the winter soldier #sam wilson x platonic!reader #bucky barnes x platonic!reader #marvel cinematic universe #angst #joaquin torres fluff #captain america brave new world #joaquin torres x you #Philophobia series

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nemesyaaa · 9 months ago

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knuckle velvet // killer!rafe cameron x fem!reader

summary ; ready or not (the movie) au. after a peaceful relationship and marriage with rafe cameron, you began to be the prey of your husband and his whole family in a twisted revisited hide and seek.

warnings : violence. blood. survival horror trope. smut. p in v. betrayal. manipulation.controlling behavior. sick/strange and freaky attitude. finale girl trope. horror au. blood kissing. mentions of guns. form of revenge. daddy issues. cameron family being crazy. a little twist. death of characters. knuckle velvet by ethel cain and somebody that i used to know by gotye lyrics coded. escaping. mentions of smoking. belly bulge. twisted ending. some spoilers for ready or not (movie). minors DNI. not really dark content but be careful with the warnings <3

author's note ; it's one-shot around 3k. i highly recommand ready or not. it's one of my fav movies and trope. tysm @rafecameroninterlude for helping me with the idea !

everyone in town said that rafe cameron was a dangerous and strange man. it was something that not only god knew, but you knew as well. you knew about his reputation but above all you knew who he was and what he had done.

he could have killed you thousands of times as he had done so to his victims, but you had always known how to keep the secret.

but now that he had proposed to you, three years later after the accident, things had changed.

you were the perfect girlfriend he wanted and he was the perfect boyfriend you dreamed of. your wedding was shaping up so well. you could already see yourself dressed in the most beautiful white dress in the church hallway while he waited for you in front of the altar.

everything with rafe cameron was what you reached for.

even the sex part, making out with rafe cameron was always fierce and rough, like the way his cock thrust deeply into you repeatedly, the curvy tip hitting your spot back and forth. you can feel his hand which was wrapped tightly around your neck, gripping you possessively like a leash, his fingers kept running into your bruised skin. “ don't fucking give up on me now.” he growled angrily against your ear, and pulled out his wet tongue to put a lick on your lobe, with and a savage bite.

“ don't try to run away pumpkin, or i'll make sure both of your legs know they’re mine by only making them fit with my cock buried inside you. understand ? nod pretty heart, give me the pleasure of knowing that you obey me.”

you nodded, letting out a moan as you felt his large and veiny girth fitting and bullying your spongy walls. his firm hips slamming into yours, as he gripped the side of your cheeks with a heavy hold, the strong slapping of skin to skin echoing louder in the room. he slipped two fingers inside your mouth, brushing them quickly against your dripping tongue, leaving your muscle with a trickle of drool falling from your open jaw. "good fucking dog, seems like i raised a perfect slut."

his words were so degrading but he turned you on so much. your whole body was covered with pretty and thrilling shivers, and his back and forth into you were so violent that tears quickly stained your cheeks. you cried like a baby while he fucked you like a big girl. you were as pathetic as the mess raining over your sloppy pussy that rafe abused massively by burying himself deep in it, while touching all your spots to hear your desperate and muffled cries that he was - of course the only one to give you.

you could feel his length reaching for your tummy, seeing the hugeness of his full shaft moving into your stomach as you gurgled passionately . he spat into your open mouth, whichwas stuffed with his fingers, forcing you to swallow his saliva. his palm was pressed against your flesh to feel the bulge of his cock destroying you with a smirk, while the huge clapping of your bodies sticking to each other, made your plushy cunt squeeze around him. his thrusts were harder and faster, and made you whine even more as the outline of his dick drew his strokes inside your belly.

the bed creaked beneath you. you were dizzy to the feeling of him plungingin your insides, your pussy soaking every inch of his cock that was tightened in your canal. your eyes rolled back, and he had his face pressed against your cheek.

there were those incessant noises in the light of your room. your two bodies slamming against each other, his sweat against your skin. rafe grabbed your neck more savagely, leaving it covered in bruises, which he licked with passion, while his dick continued to fuck you so hard that you no longer had the ability to think.

you were completely submissive. your cunt was in tatters, dripping on the mattress and around him. he pushed his fingers even further into your mouth to the point where you were gagging around them, a huge burst of drool exploding around your lips.

he mocked with a soft and harsh tone. "you can take this cock but you can't even suck my fingers properly? what a fucking baby."

your tears had redoubled on your face, and you had continued to suck again, going so far as to shove his fingers down your throat. the saliva was such that it foamed at the edge of your lips, and your mouth opened wide to work cleanly.

“ r-r....af..rafe” your words were muffled, as he fucked your dirty pussy filling it to the stomach. “s-to…” you had squirted so hard that you felt tingles all over your body like a slight paralysis.

you hadn’t waited long before reaching orgasm. in total, you had four. and rafe was still inside you, pounding into you like you hadn't had sex in a month.

his thumb rubbed your clit as he continued to thrust hard until you felt his cock each time your walls tightened around him, just so he could repeat to yourself how you were so fucking tight for him. you could feel his stomach twitching against your back, as you shifted positions. he had placed your hands above your spine, keeping them linked to sink more easily into you, and control every part of your body.

he released his sperm inside you, the hot rush of his load instantly warming your insides. and you cried out with one last breath, your body falling back onto the mattress.

after that, you showered. you were wearing clothes now, and you looked out the window. rafe had approached you, his hair still wet from the shower, and dripping onto the floor, a towel loosely draped around his sculpted hips.

he grabbed your hand to kiss it, his lips wrapping around your beautiful ring that must have been worth a fortune.

“i feel like your family doesn’t love me.” you confessed softly.

"believe me, it's a good thing." he replied.

"rafe, this isn't funny. i want them to like me, i want to be a part of your family.”

“ listen baby, my father always hated me even when i gave the best of myself to please him, did that kill me? no."

“it didn’t kill you because we don’t die from daddy issues. we are impacted. You want to please your father, and so do i.”

“you just need to be perfect for me, and you are. that’s all that matters.”

“i don’t have the same opinion.” you replied.

rafe had lit a cigarette, and looked up at you, you loved the blue of his pupils. he was so beautiful and unreal. it was just the only deep thing you could read in him.

"obviously you're not of the same opinion. but you don't need to be. either way, we're going to get married in any case."

"i never thought i would be rafe cameron's wife, i never even thought the kook prince rafe cameron would have a wife one day."

“i know you don’t believe in fairytales baby, so open your eyes because you exist.”

It’s been a week since that conversation, and especially since you and Rafe were married. today, rafe was driving you to the family mansion and you were completely nervous at the idea of meeting, finally, spending time with his family for a weekend.

“I’m here, okay?” he placed a hand on your leg.

it was strange this feeling you had in rafe's presence. you were sure he loved you, well, he acted like the perfect boyfriend but there was something so strange deep down. was rafe cameron really capable of loving someone?

you knew him to have a bad reputation. plus, you hadn’t always been the nice girl everyone knew.

to be honest, in high school, you were sometimes mean to boys, especially his type. when you were little, you grew up as a spoiled princess with the world at her feet. you knew something about rafe cameron that made it easy for you to keep him on a leash. but now, it was as if the situation was getting out of hand, or rather, the tables were turning.

you had arrived in the evening just in time for dinner. you greeted ward, his charming young wife and his two daughters, sarah and wheezie. they looked so different from rafe. you sat next to your husband hoping to make a good impression throughout the meal.

"how much did rafe pay you to go out with him?" sarah asked, making an obvious dig at her brother.

"sarah, it's only whores like you who pay to have someone. besides, how much did you spend for topper to agree to go out with you? so easy to spend daddy's money. " had replied rafe.

“oh sure, you can’t spend daddy’s money anymore.”

"enough!" Ward had cut in, banging on the table, making everyone jump. "We have a guest, be kind to each other. We are family."

you had felt rafe tense at the mention of the word family, so as he had done in the car to reassure you, you had stroked his thigh to calm him down.you massaged his thigh and the inside of his leg, gently reaching the bulge in his pants. with your fingers, you caressed the fly, playing with the closure. you were in a playful mood. but it was completely indecent since your in-laws were nearby. but as long as it calmed rafe down, that was all that mattered.

you had talked to everyone. you had a lot of sympathy for wheezie who was just a kid in the middle of it all.

“what if we played a game? in this family, we are very playful.” ward said.

suddenly the atmosphere became more joyful and festive. you had never seen so much excitement in the eyes of these people. even wheezie had a giant smile on his face.

“oh great, i love games ! ” you replied.

rafe hadn't said a word, as if he preferred to remain silent. you should have found it strange but you didn’t say anything. you always wanted to make a good impression with your in-laws.

“what if it was you who chose tonight’s game?” rafe had suggested. “you are our guest after all.”

“okay!” you responded enthusiastically.

sarah clapped her hands. rose looked at you strangely. ward smiled at you like you were his real daughter and wheezie...wheezie was always in a good mood. everything was perfectly fine.

rafe had brought you a box full of cards, and you rummaged through it, smiling.

when you opened your eyes, wheezie had read. “hide and seek! my favorite game!”

“I also loved hide and seek when I was little.”

“the rules are a little different…” the father began. "i mean, our rules. we like to play our way, it's more lucrative.”

“ you will be the only one to hide. and we will all try to find you.” the littlest girl explained.

“okay.” you replied.

“you don’t ask what will happen to you if we find you?” sarah asked, looking at you strangely but still with a pretty smile on her lips directed toward only you.

“for that, you have to find me first.” you replied.

“ seems like you're a really fun girl. ” sarah replied, winking at you.

“so find me.”

you started the game, venturing into the gigantic corridors of the mansion.

it was quite funny running around a house that looked like a castle in your stunning beautiful wedding dress. rafe had asked you to wear it, and you had listened to him, now here you were wandering upstairs with your petticoats flying above your quick steps.

you found a hiding place under the bed.

you waited several minutes before hearing someone walking down the hallway. you could hear each footstep hitting the ground. after a second of silence, the door slid open with a creak to let an anonymous person enter.

except that you had heard another loudly noise, that of a weapon being reloaded, and you placed a hand on your cheek. your heartbeat accelerated.

“i know you’re there. i know it because i can feel how scared you are.”

you recognized wheezie’s voice. and you wondered how such an innocent thing could hold a gun in her hands.

you had crawled to the other side to get out of the bed, facing away from her completely.

except she was quicker and drew the gun in front of you, her weapon aimed at you. “not a move, or i shoot you.”

"wheezie, it's me! don't shoot. what does that mean?"

“that you just lost.”

“wheezie don’t do that.”

“how are you going to stop me when you’re trapped?”

you had seen rafe slip discreetly into the room before shooting his sister in the back, without any qualms. you let out a cry of amazement. his cold face and feelings made you step back from him.

“ are you sick?? how can you do that? it’s your sister, rafe.”

“it was her or you. oh sorry, maybe you wanted to die? i can arrange that if you want.”

“no, i mean...why?”

“ok, maybe i lied to you.”

"so that was it...rafe cameron can't be perfect. no, rafe cameron is lying. you cannot lie to me. we're married, i'm your wife ! does that fucking mean nothing to you ? "

"this is not an ordinary hide and seek. the goal is for us to find you and kill you."

“you explain to me, what the hell is this? i absolutely don’t want to die. and there is no way you will let me with that faith.”

"eh...i'm here, i'm here for you, okay? do you trust me, baby?" he cupped both of your cheeks and placed his forehead against yours. "i swore loyalty to you, remember? i'm going to take care of you. now if you don't mind, we don't have much time before my family arrives. so follow me."

he took your hand and you followed him. you had started to go down the stairs when you came across ward and rose. when they saw your anguished look, your paralyzed eyes and the blood on rafe, they understood quickly the situation.

"rafe. " ward had warned. “let go of her.”

rafe had shown you another way and you had gone that way. but you weren't reassured because even though he was with his parents and let you gain time, sarah was somewhere nearby.

you went to the garden. and that was a fucking maze too. you were tired and sick of these giant hallways, and especially, running toward you had no idea where. you just wanted to escape the mansion and that whole crazy cameron family. it was not supposed to end up like this.

"don't try to run away, sweetheart . the game isn't over. "

you jumped when you heard sarah's voice behind your back. she had a loaded gun in her hands, ready to shoot your skull.

“scream and i'll make sure you have no more voice for the rest of your life, darling."

“sarah, i beg you, don't do this. you don't have to kill me.”

“ unfortunately for you i'm not rafe. those crybaby tears don't work on me. move one more time, and i will long for your corpse.”

you stopped moving, and sarah came closer.

except that the scene had happened atrociously quickly. you heard a gunshot, and her body fell onto the cool grass, with a stream of blood that covered your white dress in a red.

you thought this was the end of the game but a gun was now planted to your head.

you recognized this breathing, this warm, metallic smell of blood that was on yours too. it was rafe.

“rafe, what are you doing? it's me, your wife. ”

he pushed the barrel of his gun against your cheek, his finger pressed on the trigger, playing softly with the button to make you shiver even more. and his face was stuck on the other side of your cheek.

the beads of blood on him was now on your skin, dripping in drops against your mouth, sliding in the flesh of your opened lips, his sweaty nose sinking near your jaw.

"you don't want to tell me how innocent you are, and that you don't deserve all this? this is your final hour."

“does it please you to see me scared to death?”

"yeah, do you want me to tell you how much ?"

"rafe, i'm serious! don't kill me. i'm not your enemy.”

"i killed absolutely everyone. my father, his whore, my sisters. and it will happen again. "

“ so you wanted a wife, and now you want to kill me ? you’re crazy, rafe. ”

"because i wanted you to be, pumkin. it's not destiny, i planned everything. when you found out that i fucking killing people. you remember last summer and even those before? i had to have control over you, especially after all the blackmail you put me through, i wanted to play with you even more and you fell into the trap. and you were an easy prey because with your bad past, your family moved out, your friends all left you. was so fucking easy to have you because you needed someone so badly. you were so blind and desperate to have someone on your side that you believed that i could love, but above all, you thought and wanted to believe that it was possible that i loved you. i thought you were smarter than that, but that doesn't matter, because now you will die and it doesn't matter anymore.”

you had too many tears to count them, and even to see them flow. your throat was so tight you could barely breathe, feeling a deep knot stuffed on the inside.

you hated how everything was so clear now, rafe cameron’s sudden interest in you, the strange feeling inside you, this marriage proposal, the marriage. he had been so good, so perfect that you had never once been doubted by his acting.

rafe cameron lied as well as he killed. or you were too naive. as he wanted you to be too...

you swallowed the information with difficulty to accept the hard truth. your stomach was in knots, a furious urge to vomit but instead, your lower lip was trembling, your body was running through shivers because you still had that gun threatening you, the metal rubbed through your wild tears.

you weren’t even sure if rafe was the one responsible for this nightmare. you had your part of responsibility. you played with the fire, and you no longer knew how to put it out. you lost control.

“do you know how much i hate you?”

" oh no, that's not true. your heart is beating pumpkin, and it's not because you hate me, and even less because you're afraid. but because you love me. and it's going to kill you. “

“you’re wrong.”

you turned around to grab his gun. you managed to catch him by surprise. and he smiled. you faced his face full of blood, bleeding from his nose to his jaw. he wiped away a few trickles with the back of his sleeve.

“i’m the one who’s going to kill you.”

“don’t make me think you’re going to pull the trigger. or at least, look me in the eyes. don't you want to see me fall after all that fight ?”

“do you want to bet, rafe cameron? because in this case, we are going to bet on your life.”

“sweetheart.”

“oh no, don’t try to stop me.”

“i was going to tell you to aim carefully, because if you miss, you will be the only corpse of the two of us.”

“fuck you!”

“i would love to babe but you have a fucking gun pointed at my head. i have to be careful.”

"know that i loved you,rafe cameron. i tell you this because i want you to know that someone loved you, that you could have me with you for the rest of your life but you ruined everything.”

“what do you mean ?”

"that you could have had a better life, but rafe, let me tell you that you always liked being a loser. you don't want to change, and i won't try to fix you. not after all that bullshit. "

and you shot. one time. two time. the last in the heart.

you watched as blood spurted from his chest, as his body fell to the ground.

you sat astride him, his frame between your legs, your hands covered in blood around his face.

“ you're just a child and you know it. nothing in my heart is hoping you'll come back. ”

you grabbed him by the jaw and leaned down. his eyes weren't yet closed when you placed your lips on his to steal his last breath of life.

his lips were cold and covered in blood, kissing yours limply.

you sat next to him, placing your hand next to his, and he held it. but it was rafe cameron, you couldn't tell if it was love or hate.

your marriage was ruined, and everyone around you was dead. but at least you had survived. with as much blood on his hands as the camerons. but you were alive.

and that was the only thing that mattered....for now.

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ivesambrose · 9 months ago

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PAC : YOUR AUTUMN BLESSINGS 🍁

1. 2. 3.

May the remaining months of 2024 lead to a favorable plot twist for all of you reading this 🖤

To book a personal reading with me DM or email me at [email protected]

Services offered

Reviews

Thanks for the tip

Picture 1

• A lot of you will be blessed with foreign travel to a destination that heals this restlessness in your heart. It seems as though you had been fighting against the odds for so long and have also accumulated so much mental strain and grief because you've felt like you couldn't grow where you're at and you're right. You're going to feel the most alive you've felt in a long time. Don't turn down the opportunities that come your way. • Unexpected wealth or income from an unknown or foreign source. • Venturing out of your home or comfort zone. A change in perspective as well. • The sun rising after the darkest hours of your life. It's amusing that it's happening during fall when things usually wither away that you're getting your color back. You may feel like you're Venturing out alone or that your journey is a solitary one. You aren't too bothered because you're so used to it even as it terrifies you. But along the way you'll find people who want to walk beside you even as the cold threatens to sink into your bones. You might just find your soul family this fall. Perhaps home isn't confined to four walls but rather, the people and the places you've yet to step foot into.

Picture 2

• You'll be blessed with finding a balance in your life that earlier was bound to topple over no matter what you did and how hard you tried. You'll confront certain habits and behaviours that you have and actively choose to work through them. Some of them have been hindering your growth and costing you your own peace of mind as well as relationships. • Improvement in health. As well as recognition and reward in your workplace or emotional fulfillment via the work you do or your lifestyle changes. • Heightened intuition and foresight. Trust your instincts over fear mongering from others. • Possible expansion in social circle or connecting with people you can learn from without being ridiculed. You'll be introduced to people or spaces with a more positive outlook to life and circumstances rather than the ones who have a cynical approach to everything. • A better self concept and increase in confidence. Do not allow anyone to walk over you or be little you in any shape or form. • you may also get the confidence or the money to shop for certain fashion items you had earlier been stalling on or might be gifted the same.

Picture 3

• You'll be blessed with something rather abrupt. You may not even consider it as a blessing at first till realisation dawns on you. • I significantly see a blessing that's financial in nature something that will aid you in the long term. You might be too fixated at things going wrong at first. Please don't do that. When the opportunity arrives please have the courage to reach for it and make it yours. You may have the tendency to worry to the point that anything good happening for you is too good to be true. Thing is you tend to be blessed in rather unconventional ways. Certain things you may have quiet literally looked over for months or years. This autumn take some time to reflect on certain aspects of your life and how regardless of what was going wrong or what wasn't 'working out' for you had been in your favor all along. The more you bring in your awareness to that the more of these blessings you'll receive. • A lot of you do struggle with mental health as well as sleep issues. You're rather artistic however but may have kept your arts and crafts aside for a long time. You'll be revisiting things that have brought you joy in the past and feel happy this time instead of feeling performative. • Lastly, allow good things to happen to you.

#free readings #tarot community #divination community #pick a card #pac #autumn pick a card #fall pac #spiritual community #tarot readers of tumblr

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alygator77 · 10 months ago

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♬♪ ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : beat of my heart ♬♪

♬ pairing. college au // drummer! gojo x psychology major! reader (f)

♬ summary. being a psychology major with a passion for music, you're no stranger to chaos—between juggling school, caring for your mother, and working at a local music shop, you've learned to keep your cool. but when a cocky drummer pushes your patience to the limit, a chance encounter with satoru gojo—an enigmatic, sharp-tongued musician—turns your world upside down. as you're drawn to his dangerous charm, an unexpected connection deepens, but so do the secrets you've both been running from. will you get caught up in his rhythm before you realize it’s too late?

♬ warnings/tags. 18+ MDNI, nsfw, slow burn, smut, angst with comfort, some fluff, readers mom has dementia, mentions of suicide, alcohol/weed usage, unresolved trauma, commitment issues

♬ words: tbd (will likely be long bc i yap)

♬ a/n. hi lovelies. this is a rewrite of my first work! i've been wanting to revisit this story for a while, especially now that i've started to explore what my own writing style is :') this fic is definitely gonna touch on some darker topics, buuuuut it'll still have a happy ending bc my heart cannot handle too much pain and satoru deserves happiness (i love him too much). i will update tags as the story progresses. tysm for reading ♡

♬ taglist: open

♬ series tags #beat of my heart #bomh

♬ chapters

ch 1 // the first measure

ch 2 // pending...

ch 3 // pending...

ch 4 // pending...

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accio-victuuri · 2 months ago

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April 2025 CPNs round-up ❤️💛💚

the start of the month was actually quite eventful, celebrating april fools with the best clowns in chinese domestic entertainment. lol. it started with a double fake rumor which was bits of old rumors pieced together. then as usual for this day, fansite team building happens. meaning, fs for specific celebrities will post about other people. so we supported ones that posted about our boys. a good summary of those are here and there is a good number. whether that’s bjyx or them as individual.

that led to bojunyixiao being on top of the hot search list. this is so fitting for april fools! knowing how much we clown! lol. but seriously, it’s so nice to see how active the fandom still is. the whole fandom has been summoned by the photos shared. there is really nothing new — but we all got excited. that’s how great cpfs are! so sorry ( not really ) to our haters cause we are not going away anytime soon. 💅🏻💅🏻💅🏻

okay, now let’s go to the actual cpns we enjoyed this month! ⬇️⬇️⬇️

• there is a repo from a kid yibo worked with for the bananain shoot. he mentioned that wyb does not smile much, but he does when he looks at his wechat. lol. so we gotta clown all the times you can him smiling down while looking at his phone, probably talking to xz.

• the very lucky ones who already got their WM vinyl noticed how the design is written looks like an 8 and 3. that’s them. Bo and Zhan. 🥹🥹🥹🥹 we know how XZ likes to hide things in plain sight when it comes to his art. so this is a classic example.

• this comparison! they are twins! i wish they could have had this kind of hair at the same time.

• croissant in lacoste ad 🥐🥐🥐

• At the time of writing, GG has not been officially announced to be a part of this rumored drama. @rainbowsky made a really good primer for it over here so you can go ahead and look. but it’s basically screaming the same timeline as yibo’s war of faith. lol. so of course, whoever this character is will be wei ruolai’s husband in the yizhan multiverse! i’m looking forward to it! 🙌🏼

• video “proof” in zhuhai race last year where someone mentions zhan ge + the plot thickens that xz was actually there that time

• this went on HS 4/13 for some reason. there may be some context that i missed lol. but tbh, who cares. they are both successful in their own way in the age they are in. there is no “catching up” to do because they are in different tracks. 💛💛💛

i personally get defensive when it comes to their careers and achievements, i hate tying them up in that aspect. or wanting both to have the same exact things. it does not work that way. i believe in supporting what they do and i accept the fact that sometimes one has more than the other in certain aspects and how that’s okay. i could write up a whole thing on this topic and my thoughts on it but i don’t think the fandom is ready that for that conversation. lol.

• WMWM clothing brand x WM album - another example of the universe conspiring to give them some obscure connection.

• THIS. We are so blessed to have them in Magazine Issues that show their long hair 😍😍😍

how can you not love them both? talented and beautiful creatures!

• WYB’s May Vogue 2025 issue candies

• there is some buzz around xz being spotted passing by Wuhan and him going home immediately. of course we think it’s because Bobo is in Beijing. So he has to be with him 🤡🤡🤡

• our boys greeting sina for their 25th anniversary 🫶🏼

• On 4/20 xz was spotted attending a concert in Beijing with his parents. the “empty” space there is being filled with WYB by us clowns. lol. we don’t have facts but more of wishful thinking since they are both in Beijing. personally, i think people WYB is there because of how happy XZ is. not saying he cannot be happy without WYB, it’s just that there is something more of it’s related to WYB. 🤡🤡🤡

• revisiting an old rumor of them having a skiing show together

• XZ arrives in Shanghai while WYB is there for a race and the next day WYB goes MIA and can only be seen during practice - finally, a timeline of sorts and cpn interpretation of what happened during the weekend✌🏼 on 0428, both Lele and Dabo were seen by chance and people are saying their staff seem to be on holiday. so maybe that’s because the two lovebirds are chillin at home in Beijing. yes please! or maybe they gave their staff some time off after a busy weekend 😋

• WYB is interested in Vinyl record

• WYB saying an expression that is common in Sichuan/Chongqing

see you next month! 🫶🏼💕

<< previous post

#bjyx #yizhan #there is no science here i’m just clowning like i always do

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smahell · 24 days ago

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obey me and the fall - a metaphor for asylum and immigration, and the problems refugees face

(random fuckass header image bcs. i want this to be formatted nicely <3) Obey Me as a game hasn't really sparked me as the type to delve into sociopolitical issues of today (it's a dating sim for christ's sake; it's more escpism than anything), but revisiting some of nightbringer's main story did give me a strangely altered perspective of the events of The Fall, and the aftermath of such. Any piece of creative work have agendas behind them, and so from this I came to the conclusion that the events of the fall directly mirrors the plights refugees face when imigrating to a new country. obey in itself doesn't explicitly frame itself as political, but nothing is ever "not political".

(spoilers up to lesson 15 of nightbringer after the cut)

What We Know About The Fall + The Parties Involved

The Celestial Realm is governed by Michael, though the Father is an active and supreme force throughout the realm. The Celestial Realm remains the primary residence of angels and celestial beings.

The Fall occurs directly after the Great Celestial War, after their Father crushes the brothers' rebellion.

They fall to the Devildom and remain there as demons until present day.

Lucifer swears an oath of allegiance to diavolo "for all eternity".

The inciting incidence is arguably a miscarriage of the Celestial Realm's justice system, which failed Lilith and in turn the brothers. The rules (instated) remained in place in order to maintain balance between all three realms, but it had no consideration for the true safety of his own creation. It was obviously why they then decided to revolt; they refused to let their own sister be subject to just being wiped from existence. The revolt actively defied their Father's authoritarian rule and is directly political.

Being cast out of the Celestial Realm, they then fell into the Devildom and practically remained there, seeking polictical asylum. To ensure Lilith's and the other brothers' safety, Lucifer swears allegiance to Diavolo, perhaps in the same way one earns citizeship by swearing allegiance to a governmental figure. Many real immigrants have to undergo this process even when this new country does not have their interests priotized. Lilith is a martyr to their cause, dying (in their minds) as a figurehead of resistance against such a rule. Lucifer's allegience is a method of quiet resistance, not to only save himself but his family (and with such a move, he jepordises his fate).

Within the Devildom, the brothers are kept hidden, sheltered from the rest of the world as the news of the Celestial War shook not just the Celestial Realm but the Devildom too. As they had only recently arrived, they are in "no position" to refuse orders from the King himself. There's seven of them even with Lilith gone: with death and pain arrives another "brother" born from grief and wrath. We'll save him for later.

Whenever they do want to leave the Demon King's Castle, they were met with disdain and disgust. Mammon and Asmo can't even go shopping normally as they were thrown out not for their actions, but for who they were as people - angels. What truly matters, that many Devildom folk do not consider, is that they all maintain a soul within them -- they are alive in a sense, yet "dehumanize" each other.

In extreme conditions, extremist ideologies survive. When "foreigners" arrive, the hate and disdain is palpable. It is this xenophobia and villainization of immigrants that mirror the struggles the brothers face. When they prove themselves through jepordising their own lives, they become "rulers" of the underworld, status shooting up for the underlings they were previosly treated as. They become, in a sense, humanized; it wasn't just about being seen as powerful and preserving that power and status they held in the celestial reallm, it was about mere respect, basic human decency. They were not asking for much.

(i find it interesting that Mammon was one of the first to detest this treatment, and actively found ways to build his reputation: has he been treated like this before? Mammon doesn't seem like the type of character that wants to be pitied by others. or perhaps he wants to give back what he gave to Lucifer for "straightening them up". It's perhaps closely related to the fact that Mammon was more easily adapting to the idea that he was a demon now, better than even Lucifer himself. But at the same time, it wouldn't make sense for him to try and adapt to the view of others to be seen as a "demon". I think I'm thinking too hard about this. Maybe he just wanted the riches and fame, or this is a stretch.)

But for now, they dine as a family... even when in a later instance, the hatred persists, although different.

When Simeon and Luke have dinner at their first dinner within the Devildom, Luke refers to Asmo's newfound ability as "disgusting", and hates the fact that someone as beloved as the "jewel" of the heavens has fallen so low. As soon as they outwardly show this new label that they have claimed, it is still instantly rejected. Luke acts as the personification of natives in the same way rejecting those who have left their countries for a variety of reasons. In many ways are such people seen as traitors and backstabbers through the act of "betraying their homeland", but it is not a crime to want something better for yourself outside where you originally grew up. However, Asmo doesn't realize this and his yearning persists quietly in the background of the dinner as they continue to converse about old memories in the Celestial Realm.

Satan's identity is comparable to that of a second generation immigrant. Yes, he shares blood with Lucifer, but he never was truly an angel. Being born in a place where you have to assimilate at once, and have no knowledge of your homecountry, no knowledge of your "identity" or what you're meant to be... such a problem can resonate with second generation immigrants because they are seen as "one of the other". It can't be both. It is seen through the minor upset Satan has as a table -- everyone was reminicing about their hometown, where they still have positive memories from. The six still maintain identitis shaped from those memories, but Satan's remains unclear, attached to the person he hated the most. It is clear that the brothers's roots, though bittersweet, are still important to them. It still builds their identity and keeps them strong, and it's what Satan needs.

When finally confronted, Asmo finally reveals that he wants to return back to the Celestial Realm and being an angel, a metaphor for returning to one's home country and still taking back that rigid sense of identity established by others. Finally, when everything settles, Belphie and Beel invite the two other angels to play video games together. They all mention this feeling of connection to the room; the area acts as an analogy for shared culture(s), whether that be through food, music, dance, tradition. Though they are now angel and demon, immigrant and native, their identity shines.

The sole benefactor of their turmoil is Diavolo, who is still idealistic - perhaps this experience is what sowed the seeds of uniting the three worlds in peace. Nevertheless Diavolo accomodates them with Barbatos's help, mirroring the provisions the welfare state may provide for its people (in this case, it's asylum seekers). It's helpful, but holds an amount of power almost fragile to touch; the abuse of said power can be actively hurtful and harmful to such migrant communities. Diavolo takes Beel away for his destructive behaviour at dinner, unable to hear the other brothers' pleas for help. Barbatos notes that he has broken rules, and must be punish for destroying the King's property; law enforcement does not involve sympathy nor does it care for situation ethics. It can be sterile, and unmoving for even those who may have been seen to do the "right thing".

For some, they scenes are a reality, whether they may be escaping from extreme conditions or emmigrating for the shot of a better life within the western world. The mere label of "demon" given to them represents not only the physical change they have gone through, but the growth of a completely new and unique identity. The choice to stay in the Devildom is a metaphor for the fact that lines and boarders do not reveal one's true identity. Identity comes from family, culture, and the way that one has been brought up. The brothers embrace the titles of lords of the underworld, yet still preserve parts that still made them unique from the beginning of creation. So if that isn't how true identity works, I don't know what does.

thank you all for reading, and please don't be afraid to share your own thoughts and analysis! thank you to @avirtualdrive for listening to my deranged rambles over vc, as well as @sirstacksalot for just encouraging me to stretch this interpretation further ^^

#obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me diavolo #obey me asmodeus #obey me mammon #obey me satan #obey me nightbringer #obey me shall we date #obey me!#omswd #smahell talks #ANON. I PRAY YOU FIND THIS ESSAYYYYY PLEASEEE YOU ASKED ME TO MAKE IT AND I WAS FUELLED BY NOTHING BUT YOUR SHEER HAPPINESS TO FINISH ITT

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cosmerelists · 2 months ago

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If Rosharans Were Obsessed with Mean Girls...

Stormlight characters watching Mean Girls requested by @idontknowwhatnametouse :)

Mean Girls is a movie about a high school girl infiltrating the popular girl squad to take revenge on them. It spawned a lot of memes. What would happen if it not only came to Roshar somehow, but also became something that everyone watched?

1. Dalinar: Tries to be hip with it

Dalinar: On Wednesdays, we wear Kholin blue. Dalinar: ... Dalinar: Also on every other day. Dalinar: Because that is what the codes say.

2. Navani: Tries to be hip with it

Adolin: Are you, uh, wearing a glove? Navani: Yes, I'm wearing a glove instead of the full safehand sleeve. Navani: I'm not like a regular mom. I'm a cool mom. Navani: ... Navani: Cool aunt? Adolin: Maybe we should stop talking now.

3. Stormfather: Likes the bus scene

Stormfather: The movie shows that if you hit someone with a bus, they become nicer. Dalinar: I...do not think that is the intended message. Stormfather: When I tried to blow all of you off of the plateau, maybe I had the right idea. Dalinar: ... Stormfather: Maybe *I* am the bus. Dalinar: Perhaps movie night was a bad idea.

4. Pattern: Takes some of the lessons to heart

Pattern: No mating! Pattern: You WILL get chlamydia and die!

5. The memes

Lift: If Drehy is married, then why is his butt so good? Wyndle: Oh my god, mistress, you can't just ask why someone's butt is good! Wyndle: Wait, what does his being married have to do with it? Lift: D-Did you use a meme? Lift: I'm so stormin' proud.

6. Listen, the memes though

Shallan: If that guy is a herald, then why are his eyes brown? Kaladin: Oh my god, Shallan, you can't just ask someone why their eyes are brown! Shallan: Y-You were surprised too!

7. Moash: Figures anything is worth a try

Moash: And why should Elhokar get to stomp around like a giant while people like us get crushed underneath his big feet? We are just as cute as Elhokar, right? We're just as smart as Elhokar (well, way smarter), and you like me way more than you like Elhokar. When did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody? We should totally just STAB ELHOKAR! Kaladin: ... Kaladin: Are you trying to get me to commit regicide by quoting Mean Girls? Moash: Is it working?

8. Bridge 4 would quote it all the time

Skar: Kaladin... How do we begin to explain Kaladin Stormblessed? Rock: Kaladin Stormblessed is flawless. Lopen: I hear his hair is insured for ten emerald broams! Drehy: I hear he appears in fashion magazines... In Kharbranth! Sigzil: One time he met the Herald Taln... Leyten: ...and Taln said he looked strong. Moash: One time he punched me in the face... It was awesome.

9. Adolin could make "fetch" happen

Adolin: That is so fetch! Sadeas (sounding bored): Stop trying to make "fetch" happen, Adolin. It's NOT going to happen. Jakamov [in the distance]: Wow! So fetch! Danlan: I know, right? The fetchiest! Sadeas: NOOOOOO

10. Wit: Thinks the Burn Book could be improved

Wit: See, the issue with the Burn Book was keeping it secret. Wit: I'm just writing down my insults as I say them, in front of everyone. Wit: Then I leave the book on display, and anyone can revisit my best insults at any time! Wit: See? Elhokar: Wit... None of us men can read. Wit: ... Wit: Every day this planet tests my patience.

#cosmere #cosmerelists #stormlight archive #Dalinar #Navani #Pattern #Moash #Wit #Adolin #Stormfather

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1920sladydectective · 7 months ago

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Best Friend's Mother Ch.3 6.8K

This is part three of the story inspired by @shinyshayminflower

It was gonna be the final part, but it's looking like there's at least another chapter or two to come

Angsty, Sad, just loads of stuff. Tiny bit of Smut MDNI 18+

Link to the whole fic on AO3 here lovelies, or you can scroll down my acc to find it here

Thank you @uselessbard1031 for being the best story sounding board

HERE WE GOOOOOOOOOO

The cold light of day revealed more than you could stomach.

You hated yourself, hated her, hated everything you had ever stood for and accepted and wanted in that stupid house.

Mel’s film came back a few days after you’d settled back into your flat, the Kodak Gold showing the pathetic rose tinted glasses that covered you for July and August. It was picturesque, toes in sand and melting Mr Whippys. Smooshed faces and a pissed off Mina. She showed them off, with a happy voice and gesticulating hands. It felt sort of like she was trying to cheer you up.

You’d been in a ‘funk’ since you got back and it was being chalked up to your immediately heavy workload.

That was it. Too much reading, four new essays and some new bullshit about work experience. Not the crushing void in your heart, not the breakup that was barely there, that existed for you and you alone.

Ambessa Medarda was a black hole, alluring in her violence, beautiful in her consumption and you were mere space dust. That she had made abundantly clear.

It kept you up at night, embarrassment curdled in you like milk. Body in tatters trying to keep your mind in check.

I’ll ring you when I’m back

Whyever would you need to do that

You fucking idiot.

Her stupid, soft pyjamas kept her grip on you, your phone’s fancy screen shining like her eyes. She was everywhere and you couldn’t tell anyone.

You were the living dead, cursed to be unloved and used forever. You never thought of yourself as dramatic before, preferring humour and dismissiveness, but the gaping wound in you cried for attention. Cried to be acknowledged and picked at, a scar in the making, as each little flicker of healing was ripped off again and again.

Six weeks later you still felt like a lovesick puppy. University and your job made time sparse and relaxation sparser still, but somehow the sadness lingered. You’d been grieving it for nearly as long as it had happened, some weird crossroads where it felt inappropriate to be sad. It was a summer fling, how many had existed since the dawn of time and yet it dug into you like an elusive splinter.

Mel was another issue entirely. Warm and tender, trying to prop you up when you stopped eating or didn’t keep up with the laundry. Part of you wanted to scream and cry. I’m not who you think I am, your mind shouted, I’m awful and you should hate me like I hate myself.

Then you’d eat a sausage roll, she’d send you a shitpost and you’d cry in the shower. Selfish as it was, you couldn’t lose both Medardas.

Sometimes you thought you saw her name pop up on your phone, you’d look each time like a baby falling for a game of peekaboo. Nothing. The last message made your lungs tense every single time.

Bacon Crunchy or No?

Crunchy, but still soft.

Demanding x

That breakfast in bed was the most revisited memory, probably spurred on by how many times you’d read those texts. You wouldn’t eat bacon anymore, flicked it out of your meal deal BLT before realising how counterproductive you’d made your sandwich. Wet mayonnaise and lettuce with half a tomato slice. What a sad life. Your cheeks were damp again and it was hard to breathe.

At some point enough was enough. You were a twenty three year old mooning over a woman over twenty five years your senior. You had a life, you had friends and a dad who called you sometimes. She was not the sun, you did not revolve around her.

That lasted for about a week, until Mel mentioned going back briefly for her Mum’s birthday. November 9th. You hadn’t known that, wished you still didn’t. Somehow you were in a shopping centre helping her search for a gift. Budget was extensive and so was Mel’s ability to shop.

What would be a good gift for Ambessa? Rat poison perhaps?

You saw it or maybe it saw you. Gold, each chain link tiny, making it look almost like falling sunlight. One large crimson ruby hung at the end, metal criss crossing over it in a pretty setting. It would fit almost every outfit she wore. It matched her favourite earrings. It was unique, like her and she didn’t deserve it.

“That seems perfect,” Your voice croaked, pointing towards the glass cabinet.

Mel agreed because well, it just was. You lived, slowly and painfully, Rowan Atkinson’s scene from Love Actually. This was your punishment, your karma for your indecisiveness and deceit. Leaving Selfridges (dissociated and bankrupt from a bagel) you allowed yourself to be talked at. That seemed to be happening a lot these days, more sounding board and less person. That seemed to be what you’d lost, your personness, stuck in silk sheets in Surrey. There was no recon mission to be had either, the invitation for birthday celebrations blissfully, brutally not extended to you.

You heard all about it though, obviously. You weren’t that lucky. Mel and Kino had organised a party, she had pretended to be ever so surprised and you had received fourteen drunk videos at three am. The house was different to how you’d ever seen it, twinkling lights and darker furnishings to herald the stormy winter approaching. Kino was doing the CanCan, offscreen choked laughter making your heart hurt. Each video devolved to make less sense, snapshots of the living room, pretty decoration and discarded champagne. The last one made your world spin, bile eating your throat.

It was Ambessa, glassy eyed with shimmering makeup and bouncy curls, grinning at the camera with a cupcake in hand. Sitting pretty, as perfect as you’d imagined, was the necklace.

“How’s your party been, Mum?” Mel’s hiccupped voice.

“Perfect, Darling,” Ambessa muttered, an easy smile growing.

“And your gift?”

“Also perfect, Little wolf,” Her fingers stroked it instinctively, feeling along the ruby.

“Say thank you to the camera then,” Mel says, impatient and swaying slightly, “She’s the one who helped me find it,”

The shift was slight, you only noticed because you were looking, her face draining of some joy.

Tone coy and light she stared directly at the screen, “Ah I see, when you said one of your friends, I didn’t realise you meant her! Who knew she knew me so well?” a criminally long pause, “Thank you, Sweet Girl,”

The footage stopped, her smirk immortalised.

You hated her. Vile, vindictive little bitch. You burned all but one of your pyjamas sets in the garden, mesmerised by the flames as if their heat could cleanse you. Charred linen smelt like shit and you dumped it in the bin before it became a problem for the neighbours. Lip chewed raw, you curled onto the dining chair you had occupied half an hour ago, looking down at your traitorous phone

Your text response was calmer after that.

Nice, cute party! Drink some water babe xox

I kissed Jayce

Oh?

And Viktor

Can you call?

It’s 4am Mel.

Yes

The shrill thrum of Facetime rang throughout your kitchen, ear twitching slightly as you answered.

“Thank fuck,” Mel sounded both stressed and excited, “This party has been so weird I wish you were here,”

You didn’t. “Weird cause you tongued your two closest friends? Or weird some other way?”

“Don’t say tongued it’s vile,” She was clearly stumbling down the corridor to her bedroom, “And both, I guess? It’s a long story”

“Babble away then, babe,” You’d missed this, missed her.

It actually wasn’t that long at all, content wise, Mel was just so drunk she restarted five thousand times. Jayce and Viktor were together, this you knew. Mel would sometimes kiss them both, occasionally more, and she didn’t know what to feel; this was new. Having a conversation about emotional intimacy versus physical with her when she was drunk and your last fuck had been her mother was like a stupid game of Monoply. It took forever, not much was accomplished and she ended up falling asleep just as you were getting to the good bit.

“Mum’s also been weird,” It was slurred, hair spraying on the pillow, “Nostalgic or something,”

“Nostalgic?” You didn’t want to talk about her, you didn’t.

“I dunno, think she missed me and Kino,” She coughed, “She’s been more quiet,”

Quiet. Of course. She didn’t seem quiet when she threw your pet name in your face, but hey what did you know? Follow up questions were useless, Mel’s snores crackling through the phone.

“Are you sleeping, Little wolf?”

You were going to throw up, twitching hands launching your phone across the table. Mel’s phone echoed the crashing, drawing Ambessa’s attention. Picking the phone from her daughter’s fingers, she raised a quizzical and then uncertain brow.

“Night Mel,” You whispered, slamming the end call button. The last noise from her end was that voice calling out your name.

You didn’t sleep, your only remaining pair of pyjamas mocking you from the laundry basket.

It washed over you like the tides, again and again, each time inching closer to consuming you. So much energy had been expended to move past this, but you crumbled like a stale biscuit in the face of her teasing, of your name from her mouth. Even now your heart skipped, ached, sang. It wasn’t real, the adoration and attraction she had looked at you with. How could you grapple with that? Alone and surrounded by all the kindness she had gifted you. There was a doubt, tart and strong, in your mind that you would ever matter to anyone ever again. Your clanking alarm clock seemed to agree, burrowing into your fitful dreams and warping to the sound of her laugh.

Mel came back, hungover and a little emotionally unstable which seemed to happen every time she went home. You had tacos on the sofa, sharing a beer and having the same conversation as before, though sober this time. You steered clear of her, focusing on Mel with an intensity that made the girl snort.

“Back to planet earth then?”

“What?” Lettuce tumbled out, they’d given you a hard shell by accident.

“I mean this is probably the most you’ve spoken to me since the summer,”

A flinch, body rejecting the truth, as your lips turned down.

“I get it, work and stuff,” Mel quickly added, stroking your arm like she would Mina, “Just missed you,”

“Missed you too,” It choked out, despite your efforts to stay calm, flinging yourself against her and squeezing.

Fuck Ambessa. It settled in you, a certainty fuelled by the intense turmoil of the past twenty four hours. You loved Mel and you would not be a shit friend anymore.

Days were lighter after that, your acceptance shifting the colours of your world slightly. Your fancy laptop was a blessing, not a collar, helping you write your thesis without trouble. The coffee shop could have been worse, it was in a beautiful building with a rich history and it meant you could eat branded beans instead of 26p sludge. You’d even managed to save some money for Christmas. You were rising from the ashes of unrequited love, becoming a true optimist. Maybe you might start liking yourself soon.

Then your dad called.

“Hey, Peanut,” His gravelly tone was easily decipherable. He was about to disappoint you, again.

“Hi Dad,” You settled in the armchair, chest deflating, “Everything okay?”

“I’ve got some news,” a rattled sigh, “I’m gonna need to stay on till January,”

Rough hands ran over your face, “Of course,”

“I’m sorry kid but with the mortgage and-”

“I know, I understand,”

“Maybe you could go back to that friend’s house?” He said hopefully, “You had such a good time,”

Not fucking likely. If you told Mel that’s exactly what she’d suggest, so this one was staying quiet, you weren’t that healed. “It’s alright, I think I’d like to be at home, see some familiar faces, could always have dinner with the cousins,”

“Yeah,” He sniffed, “Yeah okay love,”

“I love you, I guess I’ll see you in the new year?”

“Of course, and I’ll ring you in the holidays,” He was firm in his intentions, even if it wouldn’t stick, “Love you,”

Christmas alone. Lucky you.

It took more effort than you’d anticipated to censor the news around Mel. Part of you, small and desperate, wanted to fall into her and cry about it but then you would end up sniffling, sitting in her car on the way to that damned house. The last few weeks of term flew by, deadlines and Christmas parties numbing you out, pushing you into a glitzy, overwhelmed state. Mel was in her element, glittering gold as she wrapped a mountain of gifts, covered all of your kitchen surfaces in icing sugar and screamed George Michael. She was supposed to leave before you, giving you three days of peace in the house before you ended up in rural Derbyshire with nobody but the deer to talk to.

About an hour before Mel was due to leave you received a phone call from your father and it affirmed for you that the universe, in all its cosmic wonders, had it out for you.

Your terraced house had a very complex and old heating system, which had apparently died a sudden and dramatic death. Sure, whatever, no problem. Except a new one was going to cost at least ten thousand pounds and couldn’t be installed until January anyway. The neighbours had told him about the sudden flooding, and he had tried to deal with it faster, but being so far away and with so little immediate funds.

“So it’s fucked,” You groan, “I guess I’ll have to stay here then,”

“I-” Your dad sounded shattered, “We might have to looking at selling, I haven’t got the cash to fix it,”

“I’ll figure that out Dad,” Tight throat, air raspy, “It’s okay, thanks for calling,”

“What’s fucked?” Mel said, appearing like a ghost, your shoulders jolting.

“Eavesdropper,” It was a grumble, “It’s nothing,”

“It’s clearly not if you’re looking at staying here,”

Your eyes rolled, frustration bubbling,“House’s heating broke, can’t be fixed till January so I’ll stay here,”

Mel looked crestfallen, “Oh no,” She embraced you, the hug more loving than you deserved, “What’s your dad going to do? Come up here? He can have my room obviously,”

“Why would he need that?” You snorted, “He’s staying on the rig for Christmas-” Uh. Oops.

Brown eyes flared with anger, “What? You didn’t tell me that!”

“I-I” You were at a loss, desperate to avoid what was obviously hurtling your way, “I didn’t wanna be a downer on all the cool plans, I was just gonna relax alone or whatever,” Lame excuse, loser.

“You’re coming to ours,” Mel said, decided, waving away all of your protests like one would swat a fly. Somehow she was already calling her mother, telling her to expect another guest for Christmas. The stress of heating was the final straw on a decrepit, twitching camel.

Had you died? Were you in Hell?

That’s what the Land Rover felt like, speeding through endless countryside as she sang Christmas Wrapping for the ninth time. You felt almost outside your body, about to reunite with a part of yourself you’d allowed to die. Mel had chewed you out for the first hour of the journey about being an idiot, about upsetting her by not just asking to stay. I know it was awesome in the summer, she had whined, you’re not like a burden or anything.

Rolling up the driveway felt like that moment on a rollercoaster just before the adrenaline floods you. Your stomach turns, you feel the wind and feel how high up you are, seeking an out you know isn’t there. Then the ride drops, hurtles down the track and you’re too overwhelmed to think much of anything at all. Ambessa standing, cashmere jumper and longer curls, against the door waiting to greet you both was your drop. Blank, hot nothingness.

“Darlings,” She cried, lips as crimson as ever.

She stepped forward, throwing her arms around both of you and you thought you might die. You hated her. Her smirk showed she could tell, though it wasn’t as firmly fixed as usual. Sunrays, squinting eyes and that smirk as she ate a slice of watermelon. Shut Up.

A small dinner was already ready, a weathered looking Kino dishing up portions. His greeting was warm but distracted.

“Mum’s had me hauling all the trees into place,” He grumbled, passing you a bowl of stew, “because of course it couldn’t wait until the precious princesses arrived to help,”

Gods you’d missed him. “You think I’m a princess Kino? I’m touched,”

Mel forced you into your chair, snorting at her brother, “Would you believe this idiot was going to stay at uni all by herself?”

You didn’t feel like an idiot, you felt like a prey animal fleeing one predator to sprint into the den of another.

Ambessa interjected then, “Yes, what’s this I hear about broken heating?”

It was an innocent and very valid question from the woman hosting you. She needed to shut the fuck up. “Uh, our terraced house was still using its system from the 60s and it finally died,” You said, instead of telling her the former, “Dad’s on the rig and can’t get anyone to fix it sooner than January,”

“We’ll have you for the whole festive period then,” Ambessa said, tone calm as she sent you a smile. It was indifferent and kind, in the same way she had been those first days of the summer. It rocked you, eating some of the adrenaline and replacing it with tears that glazed embarrassingly for a second. Long enough for her to see, but with enough control to spare you from Mel.

Five weeks of being in Medarda Central, playing happy families, “If that’s okay,”.

“We’re so happy to have you, Dear,”

Bitch. “Thank you, Ambessa,”

That evening was like a dream, stuck behind the screens of a nightmare. Three large christmas trees to decorate, a tradition apparently, with mulled wine and gingerbread. Everything was beautiful, and to your surprise each ‘child’ was given a tree. The larger one in the foyer was put up on November 21st every year by Ambessa, Mel told you, but the Medarda siblings and Mina each got their own tree to decorate once everyone was home.

You had been given Mina’s with a snort from Ambessa, who was supposedly happy to have someone else take on the ‘lazy demon’s workload’. It felt nice, for a moment, as you stared down at the fluff ball who seemed to have accepted you as a guest. This was a new thing and if you closed your eyes and breathed out of your armpit no memories appeared. You decorated methodically, using some of Mina’s and some spare that had been assembled for you. A perfect evening, with your best friend and her stupid big brother. And their sexy, evil, confusing mother.

Like you thought, a dream to nightmare pipeline. A trend you saw continuing for the rest of the holiday. It ended with watching The Grinch, something you had never seen. Jim Carrey was unusual and Martha May was disturbingly attractive, but that’s all you really gained, too busy ignoring Ambessa’s joking gaze. Did she think you were crazy? That you wanted to spend this holiday being fucked about by her too? Mel’s head on your shoulder grounded you, saved you from the turbulence of her.

It caught you once, entirely by accident, and your head began to swim. Golden swirls, tender and amused. She looked more beautiful somehow, finally victorious in getting your attention as she raised a brow. Your neck mottled red as anxious teeth crushed against one another. Rough hands stroking your cheek, kissing your sleepy eyelids as you ignored the film that followed Trading Places. This place was haunted and you realised that you were just another ghost. Kino went to bed first and unlike a few months ago, you were determined not to be a straggler. You got your water and tea whilst Mel spoke to her Mum about the upcoming Carol Concert you were supposed to be attending.

“Night,” You said, voice soft, as she nodded to them.

“Oh,” Mel said, “Bit early for you, isn’t it?”

“Long day,” A smile, “See you in the morning,”

“Nice to have you back, well done with the Tree today,” Ambessa’s silky tone drifted, “Sleep well Sweetheart,”

That was a new one and it caused no reaction at all. Your hand was trembling because the tea was hot, that was all. Your body shook from the exhaustion in the spare room, lip wet and trembling, because the journey was long and you missed your Dad. You could not feel her phantom touches brushing the tears away, it was simply the wind.

Ten days of Christmas festivities passed and it did not get any easier. No matter when you woke, she still somehow had your tea ready for you. You’d hoped initially that it was Rictus, the man you had come to know slightly better than in the warmer months, but alas he hadn’t a clue what you were on about. Those eyes, hypnotic and cruel, still attempted to lure you in each day. Hands lingered, bodies closer than needed as you passed in corridors or sat on the same sofa.

One day you boiled over, alone in the kitchen with her as she sorted through recipes.

“Will you knock it off?”

“Hmm?”

“Don’t hum at me,” You snapped, hands clenching your mug, horror clenching your heart, “T-The touching and the looks, stop it,”

Ambessa laughed, pushing her glasses onto her head as she fixed you with a look, “Didn’t seem to mind it a couple of months ago, Sweet Girl,”

“A couple of months ago I was a fool,” A stuttered breath, half stuck and bubbling, “Mel’s my priority, I love her and this fucked up thing would hurt her, so stop it,”

Ambessa’s look changed into something you couldn’t understand, eyes pensive and face blank. She nodded once, head tilted to scan you. Was it respect? Surely not, she barely saw you as a full person.

“Okay,” Her tone was measured, “I can work with that,”

It relieved you, the thick, invisible smog circling overhead finally beginning to clear. You didn't trust her intentions towards you, but you could trust them towards Mel. The tremors and the cries slowed slightly, your sleep troubled but not totally absent.

Something new formed, something you could just about stomach. It was just as if she was your best friend’s mum, hosting you for the holidays, with jokes and motherly pats. She had never known the taste of your lips, you had never nestled your head between her thighs, never shared an overly fond look over her daughter’s head. It was easier this way, you promised yourself in the dead of night as you tossed from side to side. You’d spent so little time actually in this bed, that now it seemed as foreign to you as the woman who occupied the other. Her eyes still stayed on you from time to time, but it was insignificant now.

Did you prefer that? Was this better?

All Ambessa knew was that she did not like this change. Not one bit. She was unsure of how to process you coming back. You were a nice enough girl, an excellent fuck and actually funny to be around. You made Mel happy, which made her happy, but you had gotten a little too attached. She had avoided you since then for that reason, the thoughts of you that drifted through easy to push away. That being said, she missed you sprawled in her bed babbling nonsense as she ruined you. You were a pest, lingering around her thoughts and she was unsure of how to proceed. She seemed to regain one part of you, sarcastic and passionate, at the expense of any and all private access to you. It irked her, though she would not admit it, that you had called it before she had. Guilt sat heavy in her stomach, mixing with something else as she remembered your aggressive devotion to her daughter. Parts of you, buried, now resurfaced for her. How you took your tea, which hand would brush back hair behind your ear, in which order you would put your socks and shoes on. Tiny, minute details. She glanced at you, licking up cream on a hot chocolate and saw images of a similar kind, your pretty crinkled eyes eating an ice cream as you gazed at her across the sunlounger.

Ambessa Medarda could not wait for you to get the hell out of her house.

How ironic, considering you finally felt you were flowing into the new rhythm.

She wasn’t scary, she had no power. Other than the fact that this was, you know, her house. You shared tea, read together, joked and laughed. You only looked at her lips every now and again, a natural thing. You looked at Mel’s lips sometimes. Yeah. Her nicknames only caused nausea, not an actual gag to choke you. Plus you were distracted half the time by Kino and Mel. Frockiling about in London, seeing a show or wandering through museums, it was endless. Somehow you had done more in the first two weeks here than most of the summer, mind frazzled by Christmas joy. The best part was that on December 17th it started to snow and showed no signs of stopping. A true winter wonderland.

The only other distinct change from the summer was the shiny new vibrator in your bedside drawer. You still had needs, for god sake and the distraction should help. Nothing would satiate the burn like she did, but you tried not to think about that once you realised it was her you pictured to send yourself over the edge. Oops.

Ambessa, restless and frustrated, strolled down the corridor in the dead of night. Each door zipped past until a grunt startled her into stillness. It was from behind your door and a flare of worry resounded in her at the pained sound. Against her better judgement, her fist rose to knock on the wood when she heard it again. Clearer now, louder. Not pain, her mind roared, it was a cry of pleasure. Pleased little pants and gasps travelled to her ears, turning her thoughts to molten nothingness. She had uncharacteristically avoided sex for the past few weeks, and this was enough for her to tumble over the edge. Leaning against the wall, breath silent, she gulped. This was ridiculous, wrong and crazy and reckless. She was in the hallway for christ’s sake. Still, with chaotic urgency, her hand slipped beneath her trousers as she caressed her neglected clit.

You lay, legs wide and twitching, pleasuring yourself in bed totally unaware of your desperate audience. Tonight had been tougher on your resilience, her dress was so simple and yet it hugged her in a way that made you think of flowing water. Water led you to thinking of the pool and suddenly you were smacked with images of her naked swimming. It was too good to ignore, already halfway down the hot spiral your body craved, teeth bruising plump lips. Head thrown back, you began to keen and mewl, the toy pushing you into mindlessness, each gentle buzz pulling a whine.

Ambessa was almost nonsensical, unable to battle for her ironclad control as your noises had her frantically chasing release. You had haunted her for days, flushed cheeks and snide comments, as if nothing had ever happened. You essentially ignored any heat from her and it was maddening. She wanted to fuck you into the mattress you lay on now, the image making her eyes roll slightly. The final straw, shooting her into a shaking climax, was a sudden, bursting whimper of her name from your lips.

You hadn’t meant to, rocking yourself against this thick rabbit, but the image of her was so clear and you wanted it so bad, craved it. You cried out for her, as you had so many times before. Everything sang, bright and harsh, as you went limp.

She was much the same, choking her gasps back as her knees shook slightly. Finally some relief, her thoughts able to order themselves slightly. She did not, however, like the form they took. You, temptress and forbidden fruit, carved a home in her head she could not fill with anything else.

This was a mess. She was a mess. You were a problem.

Ambessa found herself bundling up, rambling at Rictus about almost everything as she prepared to check the lake, to see if it was ready for skating. He took it well, he was trusted for a reason. There was a merry glint in those eyes, a knowing of his Mistress. Something was wrong, was grating on her and he believed that something had a name and sparkly, open eyes.

“Need anything else?” Rictus asked, passing her the mug of coffee so she could finish it, “I’ll sort out whatever part of your wardrobe Mina has mutilated and then start wrapping the kids gifts,”

“Fantastic,” Distracted, dismissive, till her shoulders tensed, “Did you get anything for her?”

He remained neutral, “Did you want me to?”

A pregnant pause, stormy eyes, “I-Uh yes, I’ll send you a list,”

As if her house had become a prison, she smacked into you just as she wandered outside. You stood, fluffy coat and thick scarf, staring mystified at the white landscape.

“I’m sorry,” It was a squeak, mind haunted by your enjoyment last night.

“No, no,” She said, “That was my fault,”

“What,” A swallow, as you met her eyes with passiveness, “Where are you off to?”

“The lake,” She grunted, “See if it’s ready,”

“Ready?”

“For skating,”

Your mind exploded with excitement, never having even considered this as a possibility, lips betraying you, “Oh my god really, can I come?”

Your childlike wonder clawed at her lungs, posture softening, smile tugged forward unbidden, “If you’re careful, and do as I say,”

That was how you’d ended up watching Ambessa Medarda check this huge lake with military precision. You hadn’t visited it much in the summer, it was a fifteen minute walk through the woods so in the heat the pool was the obvious preference. Now though? It was a magical, entrancing grove that you giddy with joy. It was almost like it didn’t matter that it was her, that this was the longest you’d spent alone since August.

“Well,” Ambessa called, “Looks perfect to me,”

To your surprise, she removed two pairs of skates from her bag and chucked one at you, leaning against a large Yew tree to put her own on.

You didn’t know she knew to bring a second pair and it flared suspicion in you, “Why do you have these?”

“They’re Mel’s, Sweetheart,” She answered, amusement tickling her cheeks, “Didn’t realise they were still in there, you’re the same shoe size,”

Oh. Okay. That still didn’t solve the issue that you had no idea how to skate, and you said as much.

Ambessa could feel, as intimately as the danger of an oncoming bullet, that this would not end well. The offer left her lips all the same. She could teach you, it was Christmas tradition and Mel would end up dragging you here the second she found out it was ready.

She was a good teacher, patient and calm, with a habit of everexcessive praise and degradation intermingling. You were being a twat when gaining momentum, but did turning very well Darling. It felt unreal, distant from the dull ache she had placed in your heart, as acceptance slotted further into your bones.

Soaring like an injured bird, she watched you. Round and round you moved, grace slow to arrive but firm in staying, as her eyes stung. She couldn’t understand why, breath quick, as she coughed into gloved hands. The pressure built the more you moved and Ambessa nibbled her lip in contemplation.

“Oh my god, it’s ready,” Kino’s loud shriek saved his mother from further emotional introspection, “MEL. MEL. Come Skate,”

The Medarda siblings joined you, both skilled and dangerously competitive, forcing Ambessa to tug you left and right across the ice to avoid their thundering.

In short, it was the best day yet and that night you could sleep without a cry or an orgasm to force you. Christmas might actually be salvageable.

Another party. You’d joked to Mel that she really was the perfect upper class stereotype with a pool and horses you had avoided out of immense fear, with all her time spent getting drunk and talking about all the things she’d done. Mel was a bit offended, which made your assessment all the funnier, gold lips pouting. This one was very intimate, you’d know everyone there and it was more just a chance to see everyone before Christmas Day.It was just the Medardas and you on the big day, their first year having another person due to Ambessa’s usual strictness that it was only family. That was like a lobster slap to the face, making you feel special and like a burden all at once.

Somehow you were crucial in planning yet again, Mel too busy seeing old friends before they went away and Kino refusing to engage. He’d done his bit for the year with Ambessa’s birthday, he stubbornly replied, hiding himself away in the library with Mina.

That was how you found yourself in the kitchen, at the breakfast table expending half your energy to a Chess Game with Rictus and the other to being a food tester.

“Don’t like cranberry sauce,” You grimaced at her offering, Rook takes Knight “That one’s for him,”

“I don’t either,” Bishop takes Rook, his gruff smile making you laugh in kind.

“What’s the point of you then?” Ambessa snapped, eating the canape herself.

“Idle decoration?” “Part of the furniture?” You responded the same time as Rictus, giggles hidden by an insincere hand.

The three of you powered through the Everest of washing up she had created, humming to the radio and thinking up the worst Christmas cracker jokes we’d heard over the years. You were on drying duty initially, till it proved you hadn’t got a clue where anything lived.

“Didn’t you live here for three months?” He mocked, reordering the baking trays.

“She didn’t cook once in that time,” Ambessa sighed, “Some people just take and take and take,”

It was a joke, but it made you angry and the plate hit the water with more force than you could control. Soapy, lukewarm water crashed against both you and Ambessa, leaving you incredulous and her as still as a statue.

“Well,” Rictus said, warm presence cutting through the tension, “Off you both go to change, it’s enough for me to finish alone anyway,”

You both rushed down the corridor, and you felt yourself lurch as something reminiscent of the echo of an apology left her lips. You waved it away, eyes stinging as you slammed the door and curled under the duvet.

Everything was fine. Everything was good. You were friends now and you didn’t love her at all and you weren’t fuelled most by her laugh, her approval, her existence. You fell asleep with a wet stomach, melancholic music echoing in your head as you ended up back on that dreamlike lake.

The day arrived, December 22nd and you felt weird nauseous butterflies. Things had backtracked a bit since the washing up, but you were determined to drag yourself forward.

Everything shone, the powerhouse of a small country fuelling the lights and decorations as Mel sat crisscrossed on her bed, painting you like one of her canvases.

“This feels like a lot,” You said, yawning, “Everyone coming already knows what I look like,”

She smacked your arm lightly, “It’s Christmas, live a little,”

“I’m already living a lot thank you, you’ve got me in heels and spanx,” You flicked the snap to emphasise your point, moving your lips to hinder her lipstick application.

“Brat,” She gripped your chin, keeping you steady as her face lit up, “There you look like an angel now,”

You did, Your hair was shiny and curled, your face a painted marvel of Mel’s imagination and one of her white and gold dresses clung to you, highlighting everything you had ever been blessed with. Your eyes burned. A click smashed through your thoughts, the film camera flash capturing you forever, awestruck at yourself and grateful for your best friend.

Joy came easy here, her presence diluted by people you had come to love, as you slipped through the small crowd, challenging Viktor to a sober chess rematch. You didn’t win, but neither did he, and with a stalemate reached you gobbled up Ambessa’s admittedly perfect food parcels. Rictus seemed to circle back to you more often than anyone else, smirk on his face, a silent comradery.

The record player was soothing, champagne and eggnog mixing to make an odd sensation in your stomach as Kino twirled you around.

“I’m glad Mel has you,” He mutters against your ear, “She’s needed a friend to ground her,”

Everything spun weirdly, the compliment ironic as you nodded roughly, “I love her, she’s the best, and hey, you’re not too bad either,”

He laughed, twirling you a final time, “Always the charmer, Princess,”

Chaos devolved, as it always did with this group of friends, the snow too tempting a siren. You’d actually been having a coherent conversation with Ambessa and Cassandra Kiramman about your thesis progress, eyes only slightly hazy with booze, when you were hauled away by Jayce and VI. A snowball fight on the patio had erupted, bodies numb to the cold as their skin was heated by alcohol, violent throws and crashing dodges. No true adult participated, though some watched fondly, as Rictus recorded the whole thing on an old camcorder, another Medarda tradition apparently.

Ambessa trailed the scene, heart warm at the sight. She loved her children, loved the people they had become even if sometimes they seemed alien to her, more gentle and considerate than she considered possible. Their friends were a great reflection of them, loud and eclectic, with the loyalty of a wolf pack. You flitted about like a golden mote of light, drawing her eye more than she wished. That dress was sinful, you filled it in a way that made her ache, makeup turning your eyes into deep pools in wish she lost her senses. She knew nothing about your thesis, though Cassandra seemed to have continued that conversation with her as you were dragged away. This was becoming impractical, her body not her own. She retreated to the kitchen under the pretense of refills.

You bowed out early, freezing your tits off was fun until it wasn’t and you were less agile than the others. Beelinging for the kitchen, desperate for tea and to choke down more canapes, your cold skin smashed against a warm, firm wall.

She was beautiful tonight, as always. Resplendent and controlling, wielding her space perfectly. Braids and curls intermingled to frame her angular face, statement birthday necklace in place with matching earrings, as long lashes fluttered. It was the most stuck you’d felt since coming back to the house, an aura so similar to that first barbeque, that you’d almost slipped and made an inappropriate joke.

Your damp, snow soaked curls stuck your face as you stood inches from her, the kitchen silent save for your mingled breath.

“Good party,” You crooked, frozen in face.

“Yes,” She responded in kind, “A success I think,”

“I-I just wanted another salmon tart thing,”

She placed one in your hand, eyes widening, as she gripped your bare shoulder “You’re freezing, Sweet girl,”

Sweet Girl the tipsy, happy haze called. You nodded, “Was in the snow,”

She could warm you up, her sly and corrupted mind cried, thoughts blank as your innocent, devil eyes captured her body and perhaps even soul. She moved thoughtlessly, a gentle ringed hand tilting your chin as her dark lips crushed against yours.

Euphoria. You were in heaven, succumbing hungrily to the kiss, lungs starved of oxygen for four months. No logic here, no reason or doubt. Only her firm guiding embrace, and warm tongue. Ambessa Medarda was an evil, perfect woman and you could not escape her.

Dizzy, drunk in more ways than one, you pushed her off gently. It took everything in you, salmon tart crushed to nothing on the ground as you gulped.

Her inability to treat you a person was not why you’d stopped this, though if you respected yourself it should have been, it was because of Mel.

“This isnt-”

“Oh my fucking god,” It was shrill, whispered and bitter, your heart dropping out of your ass, ”No, you haven’t done this to me Mum, not again,”

Speak of the devil.

#ambessa x reader #ambessa medarda #arcane #ambessa smut #arcane ambessa #reader insert

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