#rip basterd

[dumbass-smolgayitalian]

So I have to go to class in like 5 minutes but MY FUCKING HEADPHONE BROKE like my headphones and ao3 are the only sources of my sanity and this fucker broke and I can't even us old ear buts cuz my phone doesn't have the aux port

I have to go to a 4 hour art class with no headphones i am either going to die or comit murder

[ro-fromthestars]

rip rick pratt, you would have loved reposting all those chain political posts and shaming others who don't, and reading poems on tiktok

rip neil pye, you would have loved asmr reiki and guided meditation audios

rip mike thecoolperson, you would have loved dating apps and cryptocurrency

rip vyvyan basterd, you would have loved monster energy drinks and an adhd diagnosis

[ravenstone12]

Look I get it, death is inevitable and vital for life.

I get it okay? I get it.

But I don't think any mouse has ever done anything to deserve to die in a glue trap.

[miiiwu]

rip vyvyan basterd you would’ve loved making insanely violent and bloody newgrounds flash animations in the 2000’s

[darkfruhlingsgefuhle]

Smoke & Celluloid

Inglourious Basterds Pairing: Dieter Hellstrom / F!Reader Tags: Slow Burn, Enemies to Lovers Part 8/?

He didn’t remember walking back to the car.

Didn’t remember the streets of Paris folding around him, the sound of boots on pavement, the theater door clicking behind him like a shot.

All he remembered was you.

The flicker of your face under projection light. The shadows carved by the reel’s spin. The soft burn of your breath so close to his mouth he could almost taste it.

He hadn’t meant to get that close.

He hadn’t.

But something in him — low, animal, buried deep beneath the clean black of his uniform — had clawed up from the dark.

He’d wanted to crush you.

To clamp you down.

To bite.

The thought struck him hard, left him breathless.

He gripped the steering wheel tighter. His gloves creaked.

He wanted to break you. To shatter the cool edge of your defiance and see what spilled out underneath. Your pride, your fire — your resistance — it made his blood burn with a fever he couldn’t name.

No one looked at him like that.

No one dared.

You mocked him. Defied him. Played him like he was the fool. While others cowered, you rolled your eyes. While women tried to flirt, to touch, to please—you called him a war criminal with a sarcastic smile.

And he should’ve hated you for it.

He did.

Didn’t he?

Then why couldn’t he stop imagining you pinned against the projection room wall, breathless and furious beneath him, still biting back insults even as he ripped the lie from your throat?

You want her afraid, he told himself.

But the truth scratched at him like rusted nails.

No. He wanted your present.

Alert. Alive. Staring into him with those impossible eyes, even as his hands left bruises where no one else would see.

And it disgusted him.

Made him ashamed. Furious.

What was this?

Lust?

No.

Obsession.

And worse — a threat.

Because if he didn’t control it, you would.

And he couldn’t let that happen.

He couldn’t.

So he’d go back.

He’d press harder.

He’d force the truth from you if it killed you.

Or him.

Whichever came first.

[rat-boots]

rip vyvyan basterd you would have loved those cigarette and beer simulator apps

[deadsilkmoth]

Rip Basterds you'd love italian brainrot and name yourselves bombardilo crocodilo, ballerina cappucina and tralalello tralala

[eveningprerose]

Bat-fam

the thought of au were d!ck gets de-age to his golden day's as the nightwing and all of bat-fam ( apart from Jayson ) are surprised by his behavior is living constantly in my had. Think about it because every bat sins Jayson only knows D!ck as good older brother and a golden child. They doesn't know that dick was a badass jerk with anger issues and brutal comments. Like imagine this :

 De-age Dick see older Jayson for first time: Hej there Jeyss Woooow look at you. You grow up to be a brick wall you little shit

Jayson: Thank you  🥹 you the best D!ckybird

Bat-fam(-jay) :  …WHAT TH-

Dick:  What the hall is they’s problem

Jayson: Just ignore them D!ck they’re stupid

Dick:  All right so Jay sa I was saying…

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Dick: So you are…?

Tim: Red robin

Dick ( am gonne rip your throat out with my teeth ) Greyson: Oh you mOthErfuCker HOW DARE YOU TAKE ROBIN FROM JAYSON !!!

Tim: 😰

Jayson: D!cky you don’t have to do this to Tim

Dick:  You’re right Jay. Tim am sorry I yell at you.

Tim: It’s okey dick I forgive you.

Dick ( Pissed ) Greyson: BRUCE YOU BASTERD WHY THE HALL DID YOU  MAKE TIM A NEW ROBIN !!!

Bruce: …

Dick ( Your gonne be dead soon ) Greyson:  YOU LITTLE BITCH AM GONNE FUCKING KILL YOU !!!!!!!

Jayson: Oooo His realy pissed

Bat-fam: Oh shit

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

[Dick is smoking like always ]

Stef: OMG

Duke: no way

Tim: Dickey what are you doing ?

Dick: Smoke you block-head

[  Jayson that just came in ]

Jayson: Hej bigbird can I have one ?

Dick: Yea Jays here [ He give jayson a packet a pack of cigarettes]

Jayson: Thanx Dick [ Dick llights up his cigarettes ]

Tim, Duke, Stef: …wtf

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

[ At the watch-tower ]

Dick| Nightwing: Hello~~ sexy

Constantin: Hey there love. How old are you?

Dick| Nightwing: Old enough

Constantin: Then how about a date nex-

Bruce [ cuts in]: Noooooo

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

[ Dick just casually beating up Joker ]

Dick| Nightwing: Hey I've heard that you killed my brother

Joker :) : Ye’p and what ya gone do Night~wing

Dick| Nightwing: How about I kill you the same as you kill him [ Picks up a crowbar ]

Joker :) : Bats don’t kill

Dick(killer mode) Grayson: No, but brothers do :)

Joker ( FEAR ): …Fuck :(

Jayson ( Happy ): FINALLY someone have done somthing about it

*******************

Dick(killer mode) Grayson: MY NAME IS DICK GRAYSON AND YOU KILLED MY BROTHER PREPER TO DIE 😈

Joker ( FEAR ) : HAHAHAhahaaaaaaa...aaaaaaaaaa

[ Jayson in the background : AAaaww you cared ]

_______________________________________

Autor: :( I can't ad it into the scech

Autor: I will just ad it at the and :)

*****Autor- Have happy day or night everyone *****

[mlmxreader]

Guns and Knives | Aldo Raine x gn!reader

『••✎••』

requested by anonymous

↳ ❝ Are your requests still open? Because your basterds fics are really good! Can you do aldo raine for prompt 183, maybe something like reader and him are fighting and kicking ass together and reader is struck by how cool aldo is... GN reader please :) ❞

: ̗̀➛ When you notice Aldo using his knife during a fight, it brings up some complicated feelings, and it makes you want to learn more about the way he wields his weapon.

trigger warnings: ̗̀➛ graphic depictions of violence, blood, gun violence, knife violence, swearing

•───────────────★•♛•★──────────────���

spotlight fundraiser : ̗̀➛ Help Loai and His Family to Survive This War

•───────────────★•♛•★──────────────•

You were all but snuggled into a burrow, shrouded with bushes and using the mud-clay mix of dirt to pad your rifle as you used the iron sights; it was a tactic that you had been using since the winter, and Aldo had seemed impressed enough with it.

Completely submerged in the ground and using it to cover yourself and your gun so that it didn't give away your position; the Nazi scum never saw it coming, and you always knew to aim for the jaw.

Watching bits of bone and sinew and tissue and muscle rip and shred open as it was flung away from the connective pieces. Watching them gurgle and choke on their own blood, most of them still alive when the Basterds cut off their scalps.

Most of them still struggling and able to feel every fucking movement; it was a mercy, really. Much kinder than what they deserved.

Still, from your almost underground nest, you could see Aldo clearly; he was using his knife, slashing and hacking through limbs as blood and bits of flesh stuck to his clothes. Your heart raced as you watched him, and there was an odd feeling of heat on your face; it was odd, as it made your hands shake slightly and it caused your legs to feel weakened.

You clenched your jaw to try and shake it away, but it only left when you looked over at your next prey; he skulked through the bushes, readied with a pistol, but he didn't even get the time to load it as you pulled the trigger and, with help from the iron sights, shot a bullet right through his eye.

It squished as it exploded in the socket, and hung loosely from a strip of tendon for a moment before he finally fell and hit the ground.

You looked over at Aldo again, and felt the same funny feelings that you had done before, and clenched your jaw tightly; maybe it was that river water that you had drank a few litres of upsetting your stomach, but for whatever reason, watching Aldo out there with his knife was making you a little bit funny.

With the last of them finally being scalped, though, you dug yourself out of your burrow, and sat on a rock as you cleaned the dirt out of your rifle and tried to take your mind off of the things going on around you; you didn't even notice Aldo come and sit beside you, watching you every few moments when he was sure that you weren't looking.

"You did good today," he said eventually. "Them tactics you're usin' are workin' real well."

You nodded hurriedly, not sure why his praises made your heart skip a beat and force your stomach to knot itself like wire at the end of a fishing pole. "Thanks, L.T."

Aldo nudged your shoulder gently as he smiled, wanting to shake his head fondly but deciding against it. He swallowed thickly, and cleared his throat. "Now you know that I don't do none of that formal bullshit. Aldo works fine."

"Well, yeah, but-"

"Don't call me L.T. again," he said softly. "You sure you don't wanna get a scope for that thing?"

You nodded again, flicking out bits of dirt that cascaded into a small pile between your boots. "Yeah. Scopes just get in the way, and iron sights make it easier to aim anyway."

"Huh," he hummed, wiping his knife off on his trousers. "Maybe you'll have to teach me one day... I ain't never been much good with, erm, long distance. Too much fuckin' around."

"I'd be okay to teach you," you agreed quietly, not really sure why you felt so fucking nervous about saying it. "I can start tomorrow, if you want, but..."

"But?"

"Well, you with your knife today," you shrugged. "You... it was really impri- impressed, and I, erm... I dunno, it looked really good."

Slowly, Aldo nodded, and held his hand out for you to shake it. "If you teach me how to use that fuckin' thing, then I promise, I'm gonna show you how to do it."

"I couldn't-"

"Deal?" He pressed, and when you shook his hand, he almost felt like he had been struck by lightning. He grinned. "Deal it is... we'll start tomorrow. Start with basics and- tell you what, why don't we just call it a date, huh?"

Your eyes went wide as your mouth suddenly went dry. "Huh?"

Aldo laughed as he shook his head fondly at last. "Listen, I've been meanin' to ask you for a fuckin' long time, but we ain't exactly had the fuckin' time, so... why not make it a date? I know it ain't fuckin' fancy or nothin', but-"

"I, I would like that..." you admitted with a rushed few small nods. "Really, I would."

He stood, and nodded at you curtly as he slipped his knife back into its sheath and winked at you. "Keep up the good work. You're the best fuckin' sniper I ever met, and I think... maybe even one of the best Basterds... Donny still countin' your kills?"

You nodded. "Yeah, he's keeping a tally... why?"

Aldo beamed with pride as he puffed his chest slightly. "Whatever you got today," he chuckled. "You're gonna more than fuckin' double it by the time I've taught you how to use a knife the way I do."

"Wait..." you stood, and smiled awkwardly. "Aldo, can I ask a favour?"

"Sure."

You rubbed the back of your neck, and laughed unevenly. "Can I, erm, can I sit with you later? Just us?"

He looked around for a moment, then shrugged. "I don't see why not... why?"

"I just..." you let out a sigh. "You're so good with your knife, and I know it's a date, but I could really use a quick rundown on the proper... handling, I guess."

He laughed for a moment, then nodded. "Sure thing. Ain't no problem, not for you. Anythin' you fuckin' want, you just ask, alright?"

[ro-fromthestars]

Sad Vyv (he's thinking about SPG 🕊️)

[v1x3n]

₊˚⊹♡ - SWEET PETTY REVENGE

johnny 'soap' mctavish ⸝⸝ navigation ୨୧ tags : smut

୨୧ 𝘴𝘺𝘯𝘰𝘱𝘴𝘪𝘴 : your boyfriend had left you so johnny had decided to show him what he is missing out on.

bestfriendsoap who finds out that your boyfriend had broken up with you, he had never liked your boyfriend - well now exboyfriend. your ex was always snarky to him, as if he knew how much soap had liked, likes, your ex would always be extra touchy with you near him - like he was holding you as a prize that everyone wanted.

bestfriendsoap who knew instantly what had happened as soon as you call him, sobbing over the phone - he knew that that basterd had cheated on you. as soon as he gets to yours he comforts you and hugs you, tells you that you can do better and then just slags your ex off forabout an hour.

bestfriendsoap who had liked you for ages, he doesnt even know when he started liking you- he just has for so long thats its getting unbearable. he just wants to fuck you, hug you, kiss you. he wants you to be his.

bestfriendsoap who comes up with an idea for ‘revenge’. something petty that would surely get your ex mad.

“how about some… revenge?”

“hm..?” you reply softly, wiping the drops flowwing from your eyes.

bestfriendsoap who turns on his camera and and starts filming? “just follow my lead, bonnie. yeah?” after you eagerly nod he shoves you back onto the bed and sets the camera up next to yous so the film can clearly see. he pins you to the bed and looks down at your flustered and confused face.

bestfriendsoap who starts kissing you softly, bashing your lips with his, slowly sucking your lips and then moving his hand down your waist gently. carressing your sides while tugging at your pants. you let them fall down as he wants then he breaks the kiss

he smirks at you and looks at the camera, “take notes buddy.”

bestfriendsoap who almost rips your panties off as he quickly insterts a finger in you, out of surprise you moan, instantly. a quick gasp comes off of your person as he starts to pump it in and out of you , slowly but deeply. the length and girth of his finger was just perfect - it could almost fill you, so tall that it could and would bend to the right places.

bestfriendsoap who kisses your forehead while thrusting his finger inside of you, him studing you - annalysing your emotions and reactions to whether he pumped it in fast, took it out or get deep etc. it was like he knew how to get you most senstive , you needed to cum, you wanted to cum, you had to cum. but you couldnt - as soon as you almost reached your high his finger exited you.

bestfriendsoap who grabs the phone and films it at your face, “go on tell him how you feel.”

“g-good” you mumble - barley audiable

“louder for me?” his smug face glaring at you- biting his lip as your blush glows bright from your cheeks.

“good!” you whine as he smiles back at you, facing the camera down to your wet pussy.

bestfriendsoap who brags about how you almost came from just one finger , saying stuff like ‘i bet youve never made her like this’ ‘look at her pathetic lil needy face, all needy for me.’

he unbuckles his belt and pulls your head up. signling you to get onto the floor, once you to he takes his big red juicy cock out, all ready for you and your pretty lips. his cock all hard for you -it almost looked like it was going to burst.

bestfriendsoap who grabs the camera and points it down at you, “come on pretty girl, you know u can take it”. he grabs your hair with his free hand and leans you towards his cock. as if it was an insticnt you leap onto his cock, sucking it and lethering it in your spit. he groans while stedily holding the phone to film your head bobbing forawrs and back, your eyes rolling up to look at him.

bestfriendsoap who smiles when your eyes start to water and you gag back - flinching when he pulls your hair towards him to make your mouth stay onto his. gagging once again while he groans and shoots his hot load into your mouth without any warning. he lets go and you jerk back, cum falling from your mouth.

bestfriendsoap who gives you ‘the look’ as if his eyes were telling you to swallow, quickly chugging his cum he pats your hair- moving his fingers through your hair and carressing softly. “good girl, you did so good.” praising you while shoving the camera into your face.

“gunna ruin this pretty lil face” he mumbles to his phone. ready to fuck you silly while filming to show your twatty ex.

comment to join main taglist!

[onyx-diamond]

vyvyan basterd relationship headcannons

a/n i recently watched the young ones and i adore it and the crazy metal head med student vyvyan x gn reader

° you two met after he and the rest of the group and moved in next door and when he tried throwing a plate at rick during an argument, it missed him and hit you and its been an fever dream ever since.

° it took time getting used to him and his roommates, especially vyvyan and the destruction he left in his wake, you've had to replace a lot of dishes after meeting him.

° vyvyan's approach to your relationship and romance in general is interesting to say the least if you want fancy love letters and romantic gifts you got to tell him that he'll do it but the expect it to be done in his "unique" way but he mostly insist on involving you in what ever bullshit he's planning mostly it consist of antagonizing rick.

° You are the only person that vyvyan allows to touch his car, he'll often take you for little rides.

° when you learned that vyvyan was in med school you didn't believe there was no way vyyvan basterd your as descried by rick as a psychopathic metalhead whos a Ruthless and sadistic maniac was a medical student but he is and why yes you do love and support him you pray for his future patients and coworkers.

° he can be surprisingly sweet from time to time like actually using the door instead of breaking through a window.......or the wall.

° while he's is destructive and violent he tones it down around you while he'll hit Neil and rick upside the head with a broken piece of two by four that he ripped from the ground or wall the most he'll do to you is give playful little love taps or bites but he'll never abuse's you thats reserved for Neil and rick.

° the others are in general support of your relationship rick will make a snide remark here and there but that usually ends with smack down from vyvyan he adores you and any harm that comes your way be mental or physical results in vyvyan's quick violence.

° you were in shocked when you saw him with his hamster that got worse when you not only saw the rodent talk but learned the hamster was the one starting the fights.

° on the rare occasion that vyvyan does get injured he comes running to you making it seem worse then it is so that you'll coddle him.

° his relationship with his mother is nonexistent so he doesn't bother with introducing you to her, but if you insist on meeting her he'll introduce you that is if he can be bothered to find her.

° big on PDA expect him to have his hands or lips on you at anytime, and when you walk expect his hand to be either holding yours, wrapped around your waist or on your ass.

[bearswithaxes]

My Reggie - one-shot [more @ the end]

The hand ripped against the 18 year olds body, making the blood mix with the water while he drowned.

Thinking about his brother, who isn't his real family, so instead, he thinks of his real one. Dorcas, barty, Evan, Pandora, and Emma.

It was 6:30 pm on the 25th of July when Regulus Black took his final breath. On his 18th birthday.

⋆˙⟡

Sirius coughed up blood and stood up. "I'm going early." He says, wiping blood of his mouth

Dorcas coughed blood next, this time with water, like some was drowning and finally closed their eyes, but it felt like a cut tread got re-stiched and cut again.

Someone died.

Dorcas looks down at her stack of necklaces, four of which are mood trackers of all her friends, ex friends, but one of them was black.

Someone died.

Her Reggie, her baby brother, died, drowned.

ReggiediedReggiediedReggiediedReggiediedReggiediedReggiediedReggiediedReggiediedReggiediedReggiediedReggiediedReggiediedReggiediedReggiediedReggiediedRegisded.

"Oh, you sick, sick, basterd for killing a seventeen year old kid," she mumbles, trying not to burst out crying

"Did you say something, miss Meadowes?" Dumbledore asked calmly

"Oh I just said that you are a sick basterd for killing a seventeen year old kid" dorcas replied in an equally calm voice holding onto the black necklace "he's dead and you killed him Albus, you killed two of my brothers"

"Babe, who are you talking about?" Marlene says, coming up to her

"My baby brother, the one he refused to help a year and a month ago because he never wanted the mark, and now he died,"

"Miss Meadowes, you don't mean R-"

' YES I MEAN MY REGGIE, MY BROTHER, IM AS MUCH AS A SIBLING TO REGGIE AS JAMES IS TO SIRIUS MY REGGIE IS DEAD BECUSE OF YOU-YOU ALBUS FUCKING DUMBLEDORE, THE WORST HEAD-FUCKING-MASTER HOGWARTS, OR EVEN BRITAIN HAS EVER SEEN" she screamed

it didn't take long before every-single-one of the order members was looking straight at the girl. The silence that followed was almost painful. Sirius was full on sobbling, Remus and James trying to comfort him while also crying.

''Avada Kedavra'' dorcas hears someone mutter before everything goes black.

°•.•°•.•°•.•°•.•°•.•°•.•°•.•°•.•°•.•°•.

word count: 351

posted on ao3 (obvi)

one-shot

PLATONIC Dorcas/Regulus my loves ♡

[gimpdisco99]

Sniper headcanons

(sorry ill go back to my inglourious basterds grind soon)

- Hates other team members

- Gay but not for any of the mercs

- Toxic yaoi in his life

- Super hairy guy

- Moonshine enjoyer

- Skid marks on his underwear

- His inner dialogue is kind of like Patrick Bateman’s kind of

- but he acts like Otis driftwood from house of 1000 corpses

- Doesn’t hunt animals js for the thrill, there always has to be a purpose (food or clothing or wtv)

- Loves the Gill-man or just any old horror movie icons

- Wide collection of rifles

- Doesn’t clean any of his weapons

- Only feels empathy for his parents and animals maybe the other mercs

- Absurdist

- Necklaces out of teeth

- Wears black beaded bracelet

- Smells badddd but if he uses cologne it’s cheap stuff

- Rip sniper you would’ve loved rob zombie

[animehouse-moe]

Jujutsu Kaisen X Souta Yamazaki

This man, hardly what you could call an industry veteran, is carrying my favorite JJK S2 cuts on his back. So I though I'd talk about him a little.

So, what'd Yamazaki do in this episode? Oh, just all the incredibly cool looking Nanami shots.

Yes, I do know and acknowledge the fact that these drawings are pretty far away from Nanami character's design, and that they sorta basterdize his whole sequence. But man, they're so cool? I'm alright with uber angry Nanami rather than cold and deadly Nanami considering what we got from Yamazaki, but I do really wish the other pieces of the fight could have been somewhat better animated.

Anyways, Yamazaki isn't a one hit wonder, he actually did a really great cut on episode 9 as well: Gojo ripping Jogo's arm off. Between those two you can really see the style that Yamazaki has been carving out for themselves as of late, and while with their older work they didn't have quite the same style, the most certainly had the same quality.

Yamazaki would get their start on anime with doing inbetweens on movies, namely Ride Your Wave and Weathering With You. From there they quickly migrated to Cloverworks to do some second key animation on Fate/Grand Order Absolute Demonic Front: Babylonia.

It was then that the first of their two home studios was found, followed up by the first season of Jujutsu Kaisen not long after. Since then, Yamazaki has been putting out some really crazy cuts.

Just look at the work they did for Wonder Egg Priority.

Or what they've done with My Dress Up Darling.

It's crazy, but Souta Yamazaki is only 4 years into the industry at this point. But they're delivering cuts like it's been 20, such an insane talent. I can count the number of series they've worked on with my own hands. This is 100% an animator people should be looking for on future projects. Maybe not for their ability to provide incredible adaptations, but to provide insane style and detail in their cuts.

[astaldis]

Anybody watched "The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare"?

Just saw it because a friend recommended it and I love Guy Ritchie's RocknRolla and Sherlock, but honestly, I found the film rather boring. Like a cheap copy of Inglorious Basterds. And, ok, I might be a bit biased against Henry Cavill, but he did not stand out as a lead character at all imo and was pretty dull. Several other characters were a lot more interesting. Glad I didn't pay for the movie.

There was one funny thing though, at one point the subtitles say "The Führer himself will come here for our apologies." But Til Schweiger actually says "Dann kommt der Führer und wird uns höchstpersönlich das Arschloch aufreißen," which translates to "The Führer will come and personally rip us a new one." 😅 (and even this sounds much more polite than the German original).