#riscng: daniel jackson

[dramatispcrsonae]

the days were getting easier. at least that was what she told herself each morning as she looked in the mirror, searching behind her eyes for something of herself -- something of what she had been before. some days she almost convinced herself the old spark was there. but then, inevitably, the night would come again. she would close her eyes and an icy, familiar voice would once more be whispering in the back of her mind and she would be powerless... her body was healed at least. she no longer had to spend hours in the infirmary, poked and prodded with needles -- like she was a curiosity to be studied. she would not refuse to help them, of course. if they could learn anything from her that would help others, that would help defeat the goa’uld once and for all... she would endure all of it a hundred times over. but all the same, she saw the looks the base personnel gave her. their stares were not unkind... but neither did they make her feel more human. 

her consolation was that she had become adept at hiding her pain from them all. perhaps even from daniel. 

what she needed, desperately, was purpose. for her mind -- her heart -- would not be at ease until she found it. and already she knew what that purpose would be. her child. a part of her shuddered at the idea of referring to him as such. he was born of her body, yes. but... was he truly hers? she had no answer for it herself -- not yet. but he had been as much a prisoner of apophis and amaunet as she had been, his life twisted for their purposes as hers was. and for that, she saw the child at least as a kindred spirit. one she would bind herself to protect. and until then, she doubted she would ever be at peace...

these thoughts had occupied her as she walked through the base, and when she reached her destination, she drew in a deep, steadying breath. daniel’s office. it was not her husband that made her nervous -- at least not entirely. nothing about her return had been easy. for either of them. and though she once thought she would never be at a loss to understand what was in his mind... time and circumstance had complicated things. her love had not wavered, but it was impossible to deny that now, in many ways, they were strangers.

sha’uri knocked lightly on the door before opening it, a shy smile on her face.    “  are you busy?  ”    she said it in her own language. her english had improved rapidly, but with him... there was a comfort -- an intimacy -- in the language they’d spoken to each other back on abydos. back when they were happy.    “  i - i want to talk to you...  ”    she picked her way through his cluttered office to take a seat beside his desk. the room was strewn with instruments and machinery she did not recognize, but she was determined to learn them all. eventually. her eyes rested for a moment on a photograph nestled amongst the books and papers. a photograph of her. the sight of it eased her heart a little. she may have been gone, but she was not entirely forgotten. 

she took a deep breath and met his eyes.    “  i know you have meant well these past months -- all of you.... and, truly, i feel myself again.  ”    it was a lie, but one she felt no guilt in telling.    “  but i can’t stay here like this anymore, daniel. i need a purpose. i need you to let me go through the chappa’ai with you. with sg-1.  ”    she sat up a little straighter, her voice hardening with determination.    “  if you are to look for my child, i need to go with you.  ”

                                         @riscng​ gets a long-ass starter!

[doctordonovan-a]

@riscng​​   said    “does  it  hurt?”   from   daniel  !

 if someone were to take the time    -     take   the   time   to   list   the   rarest   sounds   in   the   universe,      the   ones   the   least   people   have   been   in   the   exact   right   place   at   the   right   moment   to   hear...      few   would   know   to   argue   that   as   rare   as   a   winter   songbird   maeve’s   gentle   laugh   has   gone   almost   completely   unheard.     still   it   slips   from   her   lips   before   they   can   push   into   mock   pensive   pout:     past   twenty   minutes   at   the   hands   of   merciless   children   leaving   long   brown   locks   filled   with   as   many   flowers   as   the   gentle   curls   leftover   from   no   longer   present   braid   can   hold.      ❝   yes.     it’s   agony.     truly   the   worst   thing   I’ve   ever   had   to   tolerate.   ❞       a   hand   shifts   up   to   pluck   dainty   orange   bud   from   behind   her   ear,      twirling   it   between   two   fingers   with   curious   distraction.

 for   all   her   well   intentioned   hesitance   with   people   as   a   whole,      awkward   verbal   stumblings   still   coming   too   often   for   her   liking   as   she   adjusts   to   the   reality   of   being   on   a   team     (   often   brunette   convinces   herself   they’re   still   uncertain   about   her    &&     she   can   hardly   blame   them,      how   tiny   she   feels   compared   to   their   presences   )...       for   all   maeve’s   confusing   edges     &&     the   contradictions   of   her   existence,       there   is   a   charm   to   her   that   children   have   always   seemed   drawn   to.      whether   it   be   instinct   promising   she   could   never   be   a   threat,       or   simply   recognising   the   safety   of   an   adult   willing   to   listen,       scientist   may   never   know.

 not   that   she   hesitates   in   reaching   up,       placing   dislodged   flower   to   its   new   home   in   his   hair   instead   of   hers.       ❝   only   fair   you   should   share   my   burden,      doctor   jackson.     teamwork   is   all   about   that,       right?   ❞      teasing   use   of   full   title   is   unfamiliar   on   her   tongue   yet   comes   with   easy   dry   humour.        ❝   and,     I   do   believe   I   accidentally   promised   you’d   be   so   kind   as   to   give   little   kia   over   there   a   science   lesson.     the   bigger   kids   have   been   teasing   her   and   convinced   her   the   stargate   actually   leads   to   what   I   gather   to   be   hell.   ❞      whether   she   is   entirely   serious   makes   itself   a   mystery   hidden   amongst   gentle   features,      mock   salute   coming   from   two   gentle   fingers   rising   to   her   forehead.

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