#roommates!gaz and johnny

[criminalamnesia]

If it's not too much would you consider a roommates! Gaz and Soap where you need temporary housing and they offer to put you up for a couple of months in return for some housekeeping and cooking? But then it's awkward sharing a space with three people and two bedrooms so you end up a free use maid ✨

so I’ve been thinking about this,,, and I’m actually changing your idea a little bit (I hope that’s okay!)

also I got completely carried away with this and I miiight already be thinking about a part two where things get a little spicier, like you asked! �� keep a look out :))

(also I will 100% write for roommate!johnny&gaz eventually but I couldn’t get this idea out of my head!)

you’re soap’s sister, and when you tell him you need a place to stay, he doesn’t hesitate.

it didn’t click in his mind how your moving in may pose a problem until he’s helping you pack your stuff into a van.

one— he lives with gaz, and he may have forgotten to tell his roommate that they’re adding a third to their already small apartment.

two— there’s only two bedrooms.

gaz was currently on a special assignment, so these two things weren’t a huge problem at the moment. johnny shoots his teammate a text, informing him of the predicament and apologizing for just now telling him.

gaz responds, obviously a little peeved, and johnny’s suddenly absorbed in his phone, trying to soothe ruffled feathers and make this work.

you’re huffing as you keep shoving boxes into the van, your muscly brother now too preoccupied to continue helping.

“little help here, johnny?” you call from the trunk, and johnny startles from his spot leaning against the side of the truck.

by the time he clicks his phone off and resumes helping you, him and gaz have settled things.

you’d have johnny’s bedroom. johnny could sleep in gaz’s room until gaz got back home. and the rest would be worked out at a later date.

————————————————

you’ve never met gaz before. sure, johnny has told you all about his teammates and his roommate in particular, but you’ve never actually met the man until now.

he makes you screech in terror, holding the broom you’d been using to sweep the kitchen up like a sword. he chuckles.

“how’d you get in here?” your eyes are wide, taking in the man in front of you, and then it clicks. you remember the pictures johnny had shown you.

this was gaz.

and fuck, he was hot.

“I live here, love.” he says, his tone obviously amused as he looks you up and down. “gonna put that down? or will I be sporting some broom-shaped bruises for the next week?”

“oh, sorry—” you scramble to put the broom down, leaning it against one of the kitchen counters. “I didn’t hear you come in, and johnny didn’t tell me you’d be home today.”

“he didn’t know,” gaz shrugged, walking further into the kitchen now that your weapon of choice had been set aside. “where is he, by the way? we’ve got a lot of talking to do. gotta figure out this room situation.”

you pick at your cuticles anxiously as you shuffle out of the way, allowing gaz to open the fridge. he grabs a bottle of water and twists the lid off, and you’re mesmerized.

wait, what?

you mentally shake yourself from your stupor.

“um, he’s at the gym i think. he should be home soon.”

gaz nods, taking a swig from his water. his eyes settle on you once more as he shuts the fridge door.

“but about the bedrooms,” you start, taking a step towards him. “johnny can have his back. im fine with the couch, and—”

“oh, absolutely not, love. I’d sooner take the couch than make you sleep on it.”

“no no,” you say, shaking your head. “I’ve already caused enough problems by moving in. please let me—”

he cuts you off again with a dazzling smile. “it’s settled, love. you’re not sleeping on the couch. and your moving in isn’t a problem, trust me.”

damn, he’s smooth. you feel your cheeks getting hot, and you have to force yourself to look away from him before you melt.

“okay, well, if you won’t let me take the couch, at least let me do the chores and stuff, yeah? it’s not like I have much else to do,” you tell him with a dry chuckle. the whole reason you’d resorted to moving in with johnny was because you were between jobs right now.

you quite literally had all the time in the world to help around the apartment.

kyle almost looks like he’s going to protest again, but he doesn’t. he must see how much you want to do this, how badly you feel for ‘interrupting’ (you’re absolutely not, and although he’d been miffed about johnny not asking him about you moving in at first, he couldn’t care less now. you were stunning).

at his silence, you give a firm nod. “alright then,” you grin, and he matches your expression. “nice to finally meet you, gaz.”

“kyle,” he says, and your smile widens the tiniest bit.

“kyle.” you say, as if testing the word out on your tongue.

“sis, y’home? I was thinking chinese for dinner!” johnny calls out as the door to the apartment opens. he steps inside, toeing off his shoes before rounding the corner to the kitchen.

“you shite!” johnny laughs out as he spots gaz in the kitchen. they both chuckle, embracing each other in short hug, slapping each other on the back.

“y’broken?” you hear johnny ask, and gaz shakes his head.

“nah, all good.”

johnny nods, patting gaz on the shoulder before his eyes shift to you.

“see y’ve met my sis,” he says, moving towards you and ruffling your hair. you groan, slapping at his hand. gaz laughs. “hope she hasn’ given ya trouble.”

“I just came in,” gaz says, eyes meeting yours for a brief moment.

“so she hasn’ had the chance yet, then,” johnny jokes, and you roll your eyes. “chinese alrigh’ gaz?”

the other man nods, and the two soldiers fall into familiar conversation. you feel as though you’re intruding, and you attempt to slip out of the kitchen unnoticed, but gaz stops you by mentioning your name.

“I was just telling your sister that she’s not sleeping on the couch,” he tells johnny, and then his eyes slide to you. you look sheepish, like a kid caught with their hand in a cookie jar.

“oh, o’course not,” johnny agrees. “I can take the couch, she’s my sister.”

“we could switch, yeah?” kyle looks at johnny. “that couch isn’t that comfortable, mate. I don’t wanna be hearin’ you complain about your back in a few days.”

johnny laughs, but nods. “sounds good. looks like you’re livin’ the life then, aye?” he says to you, and you open your mouth to speak, but kyle beats you to it.

“actually, we were just talking about all that. your lovely sister here was saying she’d like to keep the flat clean.”

“s’that so?” johnny questions, eyebrows raised as he looks at you. “y’don’t have to do that.”

“I want to, johnny. it’s the least I can do after barging in on your lives.”

you can tell by the look on your brother’s face that he’s going to argue, so you swiftly cut him off.

“no arguments! it’ll give me something to do anyways.”

johnny concedes, then excuses himself to shower. you tell him you’ll order the food as he leaves the kitchen.

you and kyle are alone again, and his eyes are trained on you. you clear your throat before fishing your phone out of your pocket.

“what’s your order?” you ask him.

kyle grins. he knows what he’s doing to you.

god, this was going to be an interesting stay.

—————————————————

author’s note:

this is my first time really writing both johnny and Kyle, so I apologize if they seem ooc!

[laughroditee]

🟡 "Bubble & Squeak" (working title) | Part 1

Currently thinking about best friend/roommate Soap.

Characters: best friend/roommate!Soap, Gaz, Gender neutral Reader.  CW: sexual themes, profanity, snark, sarcasm, childish name-calling, immaturity, bickering, overly-long sentences, a general disdain for grammatical rules, butchering of the Scottish language and slang. PG-13 at best.  Word Count: 891

Johnny gets plenty of action, of course; he’s an attractive guy.  Lots of fun.

Not that you care. Pointedly. 

He's just letting his latest fuck buddy out of the apartment when he notices you sitting on the living room sofa, a mug of hot coffee in your hands. 

"Och, didn't see ye there, chum." 

Of course he didn't. "No worries, Johnny. Have a good night?"

"Had an excellent night," he says as he drops onto the couch next to you, looking quite pleased with himself.  You can tell that he wants you to ask.  He is practically vibrating with the need to brag, waiting to tell you all about his sexcapades, but you leave him hanging in anticipatory gloating mode because, quite frankly, the walls are thin, and his partner was LOUD AS FUCK.  (As per usual.)  Because of them, you were kept up most of the night and are cranky, something Johnny seems to notice with a small twinkle in his eye because he's an annoying bastard.

"Cool," you deadpan, taking a sip of your coffee.

Johnny purses his lips when he realizes that that’s the end of the exchange.  “Someone’s a wee bit crabbit today.”  Then he pauses, that infuriating spark of mischief coming back into his baby blues.  “Ah ken why.”

You level a look at him which you hope, deep down, incinerates his balls, but he just laughs, throwing an arm over your shoulder.  For whatever reason, being touchy-feely with you straight after fucking all night was always high on Johnny’s list the morning after.  He’d been like this for ages, but you could never quite figure out why.  “Yeah?  Enlighten me, since you obviously know everything.”

“Ye get all jealous when I invite people home, don't ye?” he teases. “Maybe it bothers ye when ye know that they're in my room, having a good time while ye're alone in yours…”

“I didn’t realize this was a competition, Johnny.”  You probably should have.  “But since you’re so concerned for my wellbeing, I can assure you that I'm just fine, thanks,” you say with a pleasant smile that doesn’t quite reach your eyes.

“Sure ye are,” he says.  “I mean... I'm nae calling ye lonely or anythin’," he says, shifting and squeezing your shoulder a little bit.  "But maybe, ye want what they're gettin, hm?"

“I'm not lonely,” you say, ignoring the rest of his bullshittery.  Standing up and draining the rest of your coffee  — you’re not escaping, you’re just getting some space, that’s all — you head into the adjoining kitchen to wash your mug.  “Your friend says ‘hi’ by the way,” you call over your shoulder.

He rolls his eyes, leaning back against the sofa. "Yeah? Which one? I've had a lot come through lately," he says with a laugh.

“Not one of your ‘night friends’,” you retort, “One of your work friends.”

He raises an eyebrow, clearly taken off guard. "Really? One of my military pals came by? Who?"

“Kyle,” you say, trying to think of his nickname, but failing.  You opt for his last name instead.  “Kyle Garrick.  And he didn’t come by, we’ve been texting.”

"Gaz?? You've been talking to Gaz?" He asks in surprise, making a face you want to slap. "Really? Damn, I didn't think he'd be interested in talkin' to you."

Your eyebrows threaten to launch into orbit as you face your soon-to-be-dearly-departed best friend.  “Excuse you?  Why not?”

He shrugs, leaning back against the couch and stretching. "He's a bit of a…" Sweetheart?  Gentleman?  Absolutely gorgeous?  Sex on two legs?  After watching him struggle to come up with literally anything bad to say about Kyle, he gives up, settling instead for, “Just surprised he'd talk to you, Tattie."

You glare.  Of course he’d pull out that old nickname at a time like this.  “I thought I told you to stop calling me that.”

The smirk he wields at you is rage-inducing.  “Aw, but the potato is such a noble food.”

“Yes, that’s exactly why you decided to start calling me that way back when: because I’m so noble.”

He hums, that delighted gleam in his eyes saying he loves getting a rise out of you.  "So, when did this start?” he asks with a little too much nonchalance.  “And what have youse been talkin' about anyway?”

“A couple of weeks ago and none of your business, Mr. Bubble.”

As you take a jab at his precious callsign, his smile squashes into flattened lips, and internally, you feel vindicated.

“He wants to take me out,” you say as a peace offering.

“What, with his rifle?” he chuckles.

You smile sweetly.  “If he’s lucky.”  Watching the myriad of emotions play across his features, you continue, “He’s taking me out on a date.  Going out for a nice Sunday brunch.  Said he wants to get to know me better.”  

Once again, an insulting level of surprise lights Johnny’s face at your words.  “A date?” he asks, dumbfounded.  Rude, really.  “You and Gaz… on a date.”

“Congratulations, you’ve passed your hearing test.”  You check the time, realizing that you don’t have much left before Kyle gets there.  “Shit, I have to get ready.  Can't talk now, gotta shower!”

You disappear down the hall, completely missing Johnny's look of dismay as you lock yourself in the bathroom to get ready for brunch.

author's note: is this a fanfic, or a drabble? part 2 will be from johnny's pov. thanks for reading!

[tassodelmiele]

Noisy little mess

Hi sweetie⁓

Brief intro 'cause I'm so late to do everything this monday, goddammit.

Or...

CoDdammit. Lol.

Sorry

That's a "dialogued chapter". I love dialogues.

I lllllove them.

Next time i'll give you some more action, i promise.

Maybe. I suck at scheduling things

DISCLAIMERS: GhostxYou yelling time; Price is so good at being a psychologist i don't even know why he's a soldier; Soap risking his life by being a little too funny; Gaz doesn't like coffee; dialogues that last halves of hours; roommates enjoyining their time alone; brain gets error 404 on how-to-behave correctly;

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Sixth part here:

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«I bet someone'd fought the other day»

Price appears behind you, and incredibly, it's not breakfast time: it's like 4pm, and you're not used to seeing him somewhere which is not Laswell's office.

You let the weight fall from your hand, breathing heavily; lately, gym is the only thing that allows you to not explode like a goddamn balloon in a cactus field.

You exhale: «…did he tell you?»

«Didn't need to tell me. We heard the yells»

«…ah»

He sighs, sitting on a bench. «Some things are better to be told under your breath. Particularly if they are personal. And above all, if they're the kinda things you were talking about-»

«You're telling me you've heard that i-!» You say almost in a hurry, immediately biting your lips. «…sorry Captain»

«You don't need to be sorry»

«No? And…what about being bewildered?»

He frowns. And you find the intimacy of the gym, combined with Price's soft eyes and his bear you're so tempted to pet, comfortable enough to open up a little.

As if you've not behaved like an open book since you'd made the first breakfast with the Task Force.

«Look» you preempt every possible objection about not being professional on a military base (since you know you're not) «I don't wanna be a burden, or cause problems. I-I know you've already got plenty of them…»

And he anticipates you with a sigh: «…but?», knowing so well you're about to stream out a flow of that sort of thing girls tell their besties at pajama party nights.

«But…but I don't know how to handle the Lt! I…just don't know. It seemed to me we got along well but, apparently, we weren't. We are not. I mean» your hands gesticulate above you to draw the speech in the air «one day he almost broke my arm, then he helped me get rid of some sort of stalker, but the day after he offended me and told me to shut my mouth. I don't know! I don't know how the hell I am supposed to-»

«Is this bothering you?»

«Yes!» You almost yell, emptying your lungs with a sigh.

Price's humming fills the silence for a while. «Ok. I'll make sure to put you under someone else's supervision-»

«No»

You bite your tongue again, and he smiles under the bear; you know he did. He was expecting your answer, but doesn't need to make you feel bad about how much of a childish behavior this is. He pats your shoulder: «Ghost speaks through sarcasm. Not that easy to handle. But if he doesn't ignore you, then he likes you. That's what we've learned 'bout him»

«What about him being touchy?»

Now you can add to your "goal list of the year" that you've made Price slightly blush; and he can't deny it, even if he hides the red under a bear scratching. He doesn't even ask you about the kind of "touchy" behavior you're speaking of, so you imagine that, somehow, he already knows…things.

«Again» he sighs. «Does this bother you?»

Fists are clenched around the thumbs, squeezing them hard, and your sight is focused on the weights abandoned on the floor. You feel some sort of heat climbing up your tights thinking about how much Ghost's touch did notbother you. But your brain doesn't allow you to admit it. 'Cause it bothers you not being able to find him bothering just enough to officially make him stop, and you're just hoping he'll quit somehow 'cause old memories and vices are frighteningly awakening in you. 

«It would be better» and saying this costs you a lot of swallowed cravings «if he stops»

«Mh» 

It doesn't seem like he is falling for it. But he doesn't ask further.

«I'll speak to him»

And you can just give your beautiful Captain the best smile you've got.

«I just can't believe that bloody woman is a…whatever»

«People in bed are different from people in war, Lt»

Ghost glares at Soap through his fifth coffee of the day.

«Why, thank you, Sergeant. I'll engrave your pearl of knowledge on my tombstone» 

«It'll be ma pleasure»

«What is it?»

Two pairs of eyes turn at Gaz, who's peeking from the opposite side of the table. None of them is a "snack" kinda guy, but this afternoon really calls for a break.

And Ghost's drinking coffee. Again.

The Lt. gazes back at Kyle.

«What?»

«You're not drinking tea anymore» he claims, suspicious.

«Are ya afraid I'll turn into a Scottish?»

Soap grins: «aha, not funny», as he rummages through the pile of recruits' tests that need to be checked. «Look, look at this, bloody Jesus, I-» He tooks away one sheet in particular, waving it around. «How the hell is she capable of runnin' like a-a...dunno!»

«Who're you talking about?»

«Our laddie» He spits out with a smirk. «Christ, she does have working lungs, look at her running test results!» 

«'Course she has, or she won't be able to yell like that»

The whole office turns silent around Price's words. He enters with a smirk, nodding at his desk full of plastic glasses.

«When did the tea party start?»

«Sorry Cap., promise we ain't eaten all the cupcakes»

He grunts, heavenly sliding on his goddamn chair (spared by the misappropriation). He waves his head at Ghost:

«I've got complaints»

That makes him say his second: «…what?» in, like, two minutes.

«Our little one» Price explains «is politely asking you to stop being…you know what»

«An asshole?» is Johnny's supposition.

«A shithead?» is Kyle's.

«Surely someone's gonna be bloody dead meat» is Ghost's ultimatum. 

«I've spoken» are Price's last words, before he stretches his limbs so hard his bones crack, making Gaz shiver with a: «damn Cap., go see a fucking osteopath»

Then a mumbling is heard from Ghost's mask, almost chomped in his teeth as he tried not to let his thoughts hiss out of his mouth. But he fails, and everyone can hear: «fucking child, not grown enough to tell me by herself»

It makes Soap almost burst into a laugh he chokes in his guts, exploding in a sudden cough. 

«Ya ok bud?»

«Aye, aye…'s just…» Johnny takes a breath, gaining some air. «'S funny to look at you two playing the “cordless phone” game»

Ghost doesn't like this. Not a bit, not a single word.

«What do you mean?» He snaps.

«Why don't you just talk frankly to her?»

«I've nothing to say»

«Bullshit. You've been yelling at each other for one week»

«You're a bloody blabbermouth»

«'M sorry, it was impossible not to hear you. Why are ye even so mean to her? You two started well»

«I'm not here to make friends»

«Maybe ye could get a girlfriend instead»

«Johnny»

Price intervenes before Ghost decides his knife fists better in Soap's throat than in his hand. Captain gives his boys one of his gazes. 

«That doesn't have anything to do with you, so, even if you know every crumb of this shit cake…shut your holes. 'K?»

And they do it. They shut up, since they neither want a telling-off from their Cap., nor Ghost's knife in their butt.

The day was kinda ruined, though. At least, Simon's day. And he spends the rest working hours glaring back at everyone, avoiding speaking and trying to shut the echo of Soap's voice in his head. 'Cause he hates to admit it (and he wouldn't do it even under torture) but that goddamn man was right: it was just a matter of speaking with her honestly. Without being a dick.

Fuck; that last part could have been a problem.

The fact is…problems that are killing his synapsis are actually two.  

Price managed to get one of them, and maybe it's pretty obvious even for the rest of the team. But the other mental pirouette is what is really eating him alive. And he doesn't have enough teeth to clench, cheeks to devour internally, fists to smash on the door to avoid thinking about it.

'Cause one thing is liking you.

One other is wanting you. In a bad, absolutely not polite and caring, incredibly violent way.

Abstinence surely is one of the worst tortures. He's used to it, though: both to abstinence and torture. So it shouldn't be a problem, but it is, and he can't deal with it, he can't accept it, it's just unbearable and…and…

And Ghost almost starts to think everything is so overwhelming at the point of giving him hallucinations, as he hears…something.

Something familiar.

He stops next to a door, and it takes him one second to realize what door it is, and who's behind that door.

And what sound he had just heard. 

And in that one second of chaotic information riddling his brain…he hears it again.

A moan. A cute one, so muffled and soft that it was almost inaudible.

His eyes slid to the room door. 

That's your room. 

And, if he remembers well, the big crazy woman of your roommate is currently out on a mission. Therefore, you're alone.

All alone.

Absolutely alone.

So alone that you're, evidently, enjoying your moment of privacy a little too much.

He's about to knock at your door, or to burst in, he doesn't know, he'll figure it out somehow, but as his hands brush against the door knob there's another moan, so soft, so gentle that he thinks he's hallucinating.

"Why are you doing this to me?"

«What are you…doing?»

He jumps, his heart skips a couple beats as he jerks alarmed eyes to look at who's just appeared next to him.

He almost faints when he sees you. Thank god the mask is covering his face, otherwise you would see a jubilance of embarrassment and fear, red and deathly white.

You're standing, a toothbrush in your hand and in your feet the insecurity of someone who doesn't know if to make an u-turn and pretend you've seen nobody, or stay and wait for an excuse.

Him too, he seems to choose the "excuse" kinda behavior: he coughs, straightening his spine at his limit to stand taller, more confident. 

And he talks, but words are not as dry as he would like: «I came to see y-TO» he suddenly withdraws «to make sure you're going to be at the meeting tomorrow mornin'» the last few words become a mutter.

Silence follows. Moments of strange silence, oddly, densely fluffy, as if you're looking at the scene from above a cloud.

W H A T 

That's what your mind is flashing while you're discharging your incredulity on the poor toothbrush.

«I…» You start, with the intention of saying something sensible, really, to make the most of this occasion and let him know how fucked it's his way to handle people, sarcasm or not. «We just-like-we've almost…in your…yesterday» you start all over again «you've treated me like a wannabe whore»

He immediately hurries: «Wasn't my intention to-»

«I'm sorry if it wasn't, you'd done it» You shut him. You shut your goddamn Lt., and this isn't even the first time. «I can't hold up with this anymore»

«With what?»

«You» You spit, clenching your fist around the toothbrush. «With you, ok? I-I-look, i know this couldn't-you're my superior, I'm sorry if I'm being…disrespectful? I'm sorry» words start to rush from your lips, eyes are wandering around, in search of a cute way to avoid yelling at him again. «But you're so…»

«…So?»

«Unreadable. Unbearable» adjectives slip through your mouth, sharpened and straight to his heart. Or at least you hope. «I can't work with nerves at a razor's edge»

«I supposed you already knew we've to work under all conditions»

«These are not normal conditions, don't just spit the whole thing out»

«Explain, than»

«You know!» You muffle the voice. «Stop teasing me, 's like you've got some sort of dual personality! Anyway, I've already spoken with Price and-»

«He'd told me» He cuts your speech. «But I'd rather your pretty voice gives me clarifications»

«We've already fought on this point, like, five times!»

«What point»

«You make fucking fun of me!». This time you yell, then immediately bite your lips. You feel like he's teasing you, and obviously the joke's always on you. «That's the point! And all 'cause-'cause I've moaned once, and somehow now you hate me because I've made you turned on!»

«I-»

«First you treat me like some kinda hoe, then you protect me from stalkers, but one minute later you make fun of-of-! Do you know» you're rushing disconnected words, and your toothbrush is pointed at his face threateningly «how fucking difficult it was for me to open up about my goddamn kink? Do you know??»

«Listen-»

«But I've done it! I've done it 'cause you're a superior of mine, and I want, I swear to god, I WANT to respect you, to-to trust you and be at ease with you like I used to till a bloody week ago!!»   

You're breathing so heavily your lungs' movements are making your whole body wave. Stern, ice-cold eyes are locked on him, and you don't even know how you've managed to gaze at his mask for so long.

There are times in which you need to make a choice in a matter of seconds. Simple ones: putting salt first in the pot, or going first with pasta when water boils; wait a little at the coffee machine to make the espresso a long one; going to the bathroom before putting nail polish; picking up the book you're supposed to study instead of the phone with you're gonna fuck around with for the rest of the day…

Simple things. Ordinary choices.

Like biting your tongue before talking shits (that's what you're not doing), or speaking before it's too late (that's what he's not doing).

And you two face each other in a silent sights fight, spiced with rage and frustration, every muscle tensed and every fist clenched, teeth tight and cheeks chomped from the inside.

You'd like to burst into tears.

He'd like not to be a dick. For once.

And the whole situation is unlocked by another sudden, soft moan from the room. 

You instantly get red in every inch of skin; he widens his eyes, just able to say:

«What the fuck-»

«Sorry» you're so fucking embarrassed you can't even stand his sight anymore. «Sorry, i-i've…i've given Bernie some "solo-time", and she…uhm…apparently-»

«Hold on». His tone changes so suddenly, turning into a hurried, awkward question: «Is Bernadette Kelly inside?»

«Y-yeah»

«Wasn't she supposed to be on a mission?»

«She was a substitute, in case Fisher couldn't do it. But he managed to go»

«…oh»

«…oh?»

He's lucky the black makeup disguises his redness so well, since he can feel how hot his face is under the mask, as he wonders how it could have ended if he had rushed inside the room to Bernadette touching herself.

«…ok. Well, no. But…ok, 's ok» He mumbles to himself, allowing his brain two seconds to readjust the thoughts's stream. 

«Ok?»

It pisses you off so much you don't know where to restart the angry mood. 

And you do it in the worst way possible, blowing out a mean: «you've thought it was me, didn't you? Were you ready to scold me again 'cause "I haven't got enough dignity to be a soldier", and then feel allowed to touch me?»

You're ready for everything, you're wearing armor in berserk mode: you can face him yelling at you, threatening, flirting, scolding, putting blame on you, taking you at gunpoint, punching you or throwing a burrito at you, you don't care.

You're ready. You're waiting.

Aaand waiting.

Aaaaaand waiting.

'Cause he's not moving, so frozen in place you're wondering if he's still breathing.

Ghost's not an evil man. He's not violent, he's not an asshole.

He's just having a metaphorical system error in his software that's reminding him he has not, in his goddamn entire life, dealt with such a duty. 

And he doesn't know how to: he doesn't know if it's better a silenced gun or a sniper, to do stealth or to burst in the house with a grenade; he doesn't know if it'll be a dangerous mission or a walk in the park kinda thing.

He doesn't' know, 'cause his only way to solve these problems is being a dick and waiting till the counterpart gets enough of him, and just leaves him alone.

But this time he doesn't even know if he wants to be left alone.

And so, with his mind blown up and just your toothbrush in his eyesight…

He left.

Without a word.

He turns his heels, leaving you in the corridor.

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[sentientcave]

And They Were Roommates

Got brainworms from Ceilidho talkin' about Fem!Soap and wrote out a few scenarios, and landed on this one as my favourite. Maybe personal trainer Soap and hot woman complimenting you in a dive bar bathroom Soap will get written about later on.

Part 1

Part 2 Here

(Fem!SoapxFemReader) ~2.2k words

Alcohol mention, but no other major flags at this point. (A few jokes about axe murderers) But also MDNI because this is an 18+ blog and there will probably be NSFW content in future parts

You had put an ad up online.

Your best friend had moved in with her boyfriend, leaving you with more apartment than you could afford. You had enough savings to get you through till the next month, but things were going to be dicey if you didn’t find someone to take over Fern’s half of the rent soon.

You’d had plenty of responses, mostly from men that gave you creepy vibes, even through digital means. You’d actually met with only one person, and she was allergic to cats, which made her a no go.

She’d been nice enough, though. If it really came down to it, maybe Fern would take Red Herring. She did love that fat orange bastard. And so do you. The thought of giving him up, even to Fern, doesn’t sit right.

Red meows loudly through the door as your key scrapes in the lock. You nudge him away with your foot while you enter the apartment, wary of any escape attempts. You feed him so he stops yelling at you, and boil water so you can feed yourself some instant ramen for dinner, and boot up your laptop to check the ad again.

A few more creepy responses, one of which is just a slightly blurry dick pic. You delete them. One that looks promising.

>Hey! I’m interested in the room if it’s still available! Can we meet soon? I’m a military gal and I’m being deployed again next week and I already gave notice at the last rat-hole I was renting. Seemed like 60 days was plenty of time for apartment hunting 60 days ago, but I haven’t found anything lol. Hopefully we get along! You can give me a call any time in the next few days, and we can set up a meet’n’greet. Thanks a bunch! Jamie MacTavish

Her number is in brackets below that, next to the soap emoji, for whatever reason.

No sense waiting around. You call the number right away.

“Hello?” The voice is a woman’s, a dusky alto, which is a good first sign.

“Hi, Jamie? I’m calling about the apartment. Or, um, from the apartment.” You give her your name as an after thought, feeling silly that you hadn’t led with that.

“Yaldy! I was hopin’ ye’d call. I’ve got a friend I can move in with if it comes down to it, but I really don’t want to. He lives in a worse rat hole than I do. Are ye busy now? I’ll buy ye dinner if you like, just for the short notice and the trouble.”

Anything would be better than ramen for dinner a second night in a row. “Yeah, alright. There’s a decent pub down the street, Keeler’s? It’s close so I can give you an apartment tour if you pass the ‘not a murderer’ vibe check.”

There's a beat of silence. “Does killin’ people in the line of duty count?” she asked. “Because, er, I have. But I’m not like, prone to doin’ that kind of thing in my spare time.”

You think about it a moment. State sanctioned violence does feel different than personal time violence, although you're pretty sure that speaks to some sort of unaddressed bias. Something to think about. “I appreciate the honesty, at least.”

She laughed. “I can meet ye at yer pub in half an hour. That work for ye?”

“Yeah. That works.”

“Great. I’ll text you a picture of me so ye know who tae look for. See you soon.”

You get the text a minute after you hang up. A picture of a gorgeous woman with big smile and bright blue eyes, the sides of her head shaved, the rest of it left long and braided back from her face. She looks normal enough.

You get ready and head out, texting Fern to let her know where you’d gone, just in case Jamie actually was a murderer in her spare time.

Jamie’s already there when you get to the pub, sitting at the bar with a pint, watching the door intently, her leg bouncing. You give her a little wave, and she beams at you. She’s even hotter in real life, wearing tight, ripped up jeans that cling to her muscular thighs, and a tight black tank-top under a cropped leather jacket. She has almost no jewelry, other than the dog tags around her neck and the silver hoops in her ears. She looks, well, normal. Friendly.

You go up and introduce yourself, earning a firm handshake. She’s strong.

“Hi!” she says excitedly. “Nice to meet you. I’m Jamie, but my friends call me Soap. I’d tell ye why, but it’s classified.”

“Is it really?”

“No. But it’s fun to say.” She flags down the bartender. “A pint for my friend here, if you don’t mind. You want to grab a booth? Or stay up at the bar?”

You look around, and there’s a few empty booths, but it’s early yet, and they tend to fill up quickly. “Let’s move. If we stay up here the single dads are going to start hitting on us.”

"We are a couple of dolls, aren't we?" She flashed another big smile at the bartender as he set a second pint out. "We're movin' to a table, if ye don't mind."

"No problem, love," he says, obviously besotted already. "I'll send Jenny around to take your order."

"Thanks, pal. Appreciate it."

You pick up the pint and follow her over to a booth, sliding in on the opposite side.

"So, you said you're military?"

"Ah am. SAS no less. Best of the bloody best. Not many jobs where ye get tae blow things up awl the time." She sheds her jacket, revealing impressively muscled arms. "I could just live on base, if things don't work out here, just so ye ken. No pressure on ye. But I hate stayin' on base when I don't have to. It's the communal showers. Most of the lads are, well, lads. Gotta shower in the middle of the night, and I keep bumpin' into my LT when I do. And he said I could move in with him too. I’m in a rush but I willnae be homeless, so ye don’t need to worry about me if you dinnae think we’ll get along."

You wince in sympathy. "That sounds terrible. I don't think I'd ever be comfortable showering in front of other people."

"Is naw so bad, if it's someone ye like seein' naked. But most of em are munters anyway. Wouldnae mind so much if more of 'em looked like you." She winked over the edge of her pint glass and took a swig.

You laugh at her little joke. She's fun, and you already feel at ease with her. She tells you about her old rat hole apartment, and a little about living on base, although she's a bit vague on the details of her actual job, beyond blowing things up.

She asks you about your work, and you tell her about the used bookshop you work at down the road. You're basically the only employee, and it's usually not too busy, although it can be annoying when you get a rush in the middle of pricing 'new' books. But it pays the rent, more or less. You talk a bit about Fern, and about Red Herring too.

"I love cats," she said excitedly. "Never been able to keep one, bein' away so much. LT had a dog, and he was awlright, but I'm definitely more of a cat girl. Got bit by a few too many pups in my day."

"Well, Red's a real love bug. Once we're done here you can meet him. I think we're going to get along fine."

"Och, really? Just like that, aye? Thought I'd have to work harder."

"Honestly, I thought I was going to have to accept some weirdo or give poor old Red away. You're a much better fit than I expected to find. I think we could be friends."

Her blue eyes track something behind you and narrow slightly. "Well, I'm holdin' ye to that. We're about to be accosted by my lads. Don't let them scare ye." She shoves her plate across the table into the spot next to you and clambers out of the booth. "Oi, what're you munters doin' here? I'm gettin' interviewed for an apartment. Dinnae need you scarin' my girl."

You look behind you, spotting a giant wearing a skull-print balaclava, and a more regular-sized (though no less muscular) black man with a brilliant smile. "We wanted to make sure she wasn't an axe murderer," he says pleasantly.

"Or a chainsaw murderer," the giant adds.

Soap cuts him off before he can take the seat beside you. "Over there," she orders, pointing at the opposite bench, where she'd been sitting. "I'm not lettin' you box her in." She grimaces at you apologetically as she drops into the spot beside you. Her thigh presses against yours for a moment, before you shift further down the bench. "They're sweet, in their own way. Think I need lookin' after. The big guy's Ghost, or LT. This handsome pain in the arse is Gaz. Don't let him sweet talk ye intae callin' him Kyle unless you want him tae put yer ankles up by yer ears. Made that mistake before."

"You don't have to bring that up every time you introduce me to a woman," Gaz says, clearly exasperated.

"I do. How else are they gonna know to call you for a good time?" She smacks his hand away from her plate when he reaches for it. "Oi! Order your own chips ye bastard."

"I only want a couple," Gaz protests.

"Ye always say tha' and ye always lie. Ah umnae fallin' for it again."

"You can have a couple of mine," you offer. "I wasn't going to finish them anyway."

"When do we get to see the place?" Ghost asked.

"Ye don't, unless yer carryin' boxes for me. I willna ask her to let three strangers in her home when she's only just met me."

"Well I guess we're helpin' ye move," Ghost said. "Was gonna leave it all to Price."

"Lazy cunts. Ne’er around when there’s work tae be done.”

“I was gonna help,” Gaz protests. “I already told you that.”

“And I did tell you that you could move into my place if you didn’t find somethin’ in time,” Ghost points out. “We’re not all bad.”

“Well, they’re not bad lads tae have watchin’ yer back in a fire-fight,” Soap admits. “But they dinnae know how to be normal about anythin’.”

“Are you supposed to be the normal one?” Ghost asks.

“Aye. And I willnae have you say otherwise in front of my new friend.”

She finishes eating long before you do, with the speed and gusto of a woman who often has to defend her plate against hungry scavengers. Gaz, true to Soap’s complaint, eats the majority of your chips, although he does thank you and give you a big, wide smile, the sort that could sell someone a bridge. He’s definitely a charmer.

Soap asks for the bill while you’re finishing up. You reach for your purse, but she puts a hand on yours and gives you an intense blue stare. “No, kitty. I told ye I was buyin’ ye dinner, I’ll no’ let ye make me a liar, especially when Gaz ate half your plate.”

God she’s strong. You’re not sure that you could shake her off to insist even if you tried. “Alright. I just—”

“Oh I ken. But I wouldna offer if I didna mean it. I’m a woman of her word.” She pays with cash, and offers you a hand up and out of the booth. She points a warning finger at her friends. “And dinnae follow us, ye creepy bastards.”

They laugh, like they hadn’t followed her to the pub in the first place.

“They really do mean well,” Soap says, linking her arm with yours as you step out onto the street. “But they’ve go’ a bad habit of thinkin’ they dinnae need to respect my space just ‘cause we’ve all spent nights crammed into one room sharin’ cots. I think if the captain had his way we’d all live in his house and sleep in a big fuck-off pile like dogs.”

“Sound a bit claustrophobic.”

“Aye. Ye understand why I’m so eager to make this work with ye, kitty-cat. If I move in with LT it’s just a matter of time before Price comes over tae help us fix somethin’ and says ‘Oh, I dinny know why ye both stay in this shitehole. Whyna stay with me a while, till we find ye somethin’ better?’ And then before we know it we’re all sleepin’ in the same bed and usin’ the same toothbrush.”

You giggle, hoping that's just a joke. “That’s gross.”

“I ken! Horrible men, they are. I need some girl time before I go mad.” She squeezes your arm and knocks her head against yours gently. “We’re goin’ tae be best friends in no time, kitty. I wish I wasna goin’ away so soon.”

“You haven’t even seen the apartment yet!”

“Och, tha’s a formality. I was more wurried about us gettin’ along, kitty. The apartment doesna matter all that much, so long as it’s got a workin’ shower and a place for my bed. If I pass Mr. Herring’s sniff test, I’ll give ye cash on the spot, aye? For next month an’ half of this one, since you’d be lettin' me move in before the first.”

And, well, it’s hard to think of a good reason to say no.

[grabattheseballsss]

COD P★ LINKS

Yawll……dis is horny… so like fair warning

John price

Price tying you up after he catches you disobeying him by touching yourself :(

Overstimulation with John <3

Price eating you out after a loooooong mission

More price eating pussy (the guy LITERALLY looks like him or am I tripping)

Since you like using them so much, this shouldn’t be a punishment for you, correct ?

John getting you to ride his thigh

Theres a reason why they’re his favourite

Kyle Garrick

Gaz after ruthlessly fucking you for three hours ;3

What you get for flaunting yourself in front of his mates :(

Lazy night in with gaz

Shhh don’t want anyone to hear you

Late night humping with your clingy boyfriend

Roommate! Gaz getting tired of your horny whining

Simon Riley

Just a quick reminder of where you belong

Quick polishing’

A goodbye gift

A welcome home gift

Roommate! Ghost pounding you till you wake up :(

Owner! Ghost with his lil pup

Little film for later

Gettin’ crafty

John McTavish

Riding him until he’s dumb <3

Mornin sex with Johnny boy

Self restrain

Virgin! Johnny

Just his doll

Convincing your friend, Johnny to join your live 🫣

König

Hes just too big you needed a photo for confirmation

Need your colonel to reach you a lesson?

Just a quickie before he leaves for work

Quickie part 2

Good girls beg

[beloveds-embrace]

masterpost || MDNI

Hi! You can call me Noona! I write whatever comes to my mind and atm, I am very much obsessed with CoD and Genshin/Capitano. I am very much open to hearing ideas and just yapping in general, but I also can’t promise that I will write every request.

What I don’t write: fully explicit smut, suicide

Masterlist has not been updated fully. Use the tag noona.writes to see everything I’ve written!

Masterlist:

POLY 141 X READER:

Goddess!reader x poly 141

2. Baker Reader x poly 141

part 1 + part 2

3. Sick!Reader x 141

4. Bunny Owner Reader x Poly 141: Matchmaking Buns

part 1 + part 2

5. Chubby Reader x Firefighters 141

6. Expiration Date Concept

7. Stage Manager Reader x Magic Mike 141

8. Chubby Reader x Monster 141

part one + part two

9. Lavender Marriage AU

part one + part two

10. Abused Reader x Poly 141

part one + part two

11. Dark Romance Reader

12. Haunted House Shenanigans

13. john catches you making out with one of his men

14. spoiling them when they return from missions

15. False Accusations Concept

16. going to them for safety + guard dogs

17. kittens named after their titles

18. Poly 141 x Farmer Reader

20. Poly 141 x Neighbor reader

21. Clubs and Oiled men

22. Vampire 141 x Blood Donor Reader

23. Bodyguards 141 x Sick Reader

24. Poly 141 x Protective Reader

25. Shared-Wife trope

26. food: no1 source of comfort

27. anasthasia

28. Dragon John Collecting Chubby Reader into His Hoard:

p1 + p2 + p3

29. arranged marriage

30. harpy 141 grooming harpy reader

31. Chubby Burlesque Reader x 141

32. Reader with a Terrible Past

33. Self-Sacrificial Reader

34. Vampire Poly 141 x Reader: Late Night Hunger

35. yandere 141: bro-zone edition

36. 141 x big, tall fem reader they mistake for a man at first

37. 141 x Hacker Reader

38. Scuba Divers 141 x Mermaid Reader + super lovely art by @grombs-blog <333

39. mafia 141 x singer reader

40. 141 x recluse reader

41. 141 x Protective Reader:

p1 + p2 + p3

42. Guards 141 x Princess Reader

OTHERS:

Bite kink with Soap

Yandere Capitano + part two

Bundad Simon

harpy Gaz x wingless reader concept + oneshot + more

moose Konig

rugby player simon x ballerina reader

divorced but obsessed simon x reader

Ghoap angst concept

simon x family traditions

Horrible konig concept

john price x single mom reader

simon and a certain someone grieving your loss

from simon's girl to his missus

johnny's supportive nature

you came/you called

lipstick testing

Big eater simon riley

house-trained Simon Riley + p2

bear price x chubby reader, winter day

Simon Riley x reader: non-sexual smell kink

Raven Hybrids Simon x Reader

"As beautiful as the day I lost you"

John Price x Soldier Reader who wants to be wife-d up

Dukedom 141 Masterlist

CoD Omegaverse

Roommate au masterlist

Until the Last Loop

Here Comes the Sun + p2

Witch of the Woods

Bakery/Coffee Shop au

Fae Duke(King)dom au \\ different take

ANONS

WIPS

[tojisteddy]

Pervy roommate!Soap’s camera he’s been hiding in your room for months, but you found it few days before deployment.

cw: 18+ mdni, dark content (kinda), dubcon, soap being invasive and a lying slut but for you, masturbating, naive!reader feeding into his shenanigans, non con recording.

Truly, the smallest mistake for the ages can make everything his the fan, can’t it.

And Johnny’s not new to new concept, he’s a demolition expert for a reason. He just didn’t think he’d slip up this bad, right before he got deployed.

He was putting the camera back where it belonged, safely behind a couple of things on your dresser. Why was the camera there to begin with? He was looking out for you in a way. Making sure he saw every little thing you did, from changing out of yoru work clothes, the tips of your breasts to your plump ass, to the fucking hairs that were growing on your sexy pussy— to watching that movie you’ve been dying to watch, to the nights you cried yourself to sleep and then quickly walked the the other side of the flat to his room to cuddle.

Johnny has seen it all, it’s all on a top secret flash drive that’s between him and Satan. He was backing up he file to get every last glimpse of you— who else was he gonna rub one out to?

The idiot didn’t think it would lead to you finding the little piece of equipment , a pout on your lips, arms folded over your chest.

“Is this yours?”

There was a pause, not enough to get you really questioning, but enough for Soap to come up with an adequate list of lies to fill in the blank.

“I’d never lass. Wouldn’t hurt you like tha baby. Care about ye too much.”

The lie falls from his lips ever so beautifully, he could win an Emmy from this performance alone.

You let out a sigh of relief, but tears fall nonetheless, quickly running into his arms where he sat on the couch. He holds you tight in you in his arms, rocks you as your cry, “Why would someone do this?” and “Does someone have it out for me?”

Absolutely not, Johnny worships the floor you walk on. He recorded for safe keeping, right?

He coos, kissing your forehead, “Don’t worry Bon’, gonna find ou’ who did this t’ya and beat ‘em t’a pulp. It’s so many daft men in the world.”

He’d put the blame on that idiot you’d brought over one too many times. He got too close to his pretty dove anyway.

Let’s say a month passed with him gone and god, did the Scottish man miss you to pieces. He couldn’t get you off his mind, even more so because he stupidly forgot the flash drive at home. He almost cried about it, Ghost gave him a disgusted look, John ignored him and Gaz acting like he didn’t see him moping around and talked about other things.

The new camera, which was smaller, was properly on and installed. Your hadn’t noticed again but for some reason, you’d gone celibate.

You didn’t use your toys like you do sometimes, didn’t hump that pillow you had, didn’t even bring anyone over.

And then like a miracle from god, he hears the chime of his phone that’s changed specifically for when you text him.

“Bloody hell!” He curses at the sight, a video you’ve sent.

“You alright mate?” Gaz raises his eyebrow from the couch. Soap’s blue eyes are already erratic, snapping towards the man.

He gulps, “A-aye. Just got some things t’take care ‘f for ma roommate.” And with that he’s out of the common room and almost sprinting to his dorm. Quickly shutting and locking the door behind him.

Immediately playing the video you’d sent, the thumbnail that made his heart leap being you face down with you juicy ass up, hand on your sloppy cunt and rubbing your clit.

He clicks the video and groans just from seeing you run your hand through the mess you’ve created between your folds. Your fingers are already wet and sticky.

Your breath hitches when you touch your harden clit,

And then like a 5 part symphony, you breathlessly moan, “Johnny.”

He groans at the sound of you, all too tempting— this is exactly what men used to go to war for. Astonishingly beautiful people like you, rubbing there pretty little clits with both of their holes facing the camera and clenching like a little fucking slut.

You don’t know why you send that video to Johnny.

Maybe because you stupidly missed his mouth on your pussy till you were sore, climbing up the bed for mercy. Or when he left hickies all over you and finger fucked you till you passed out.

That Scottish fucker had trained your body to want him watching, breathing every inch of you in— it made you even more wet just thinking about it, you keened his name, circling your little bud faster, humping the air, shimming your ass back and forth.

“Wanna- anngh- Johnnyy.” You whimpered.

And Johnny his had as a brick right now, painfully so, mumbling curses of exactly what to do to you, how he’d help you cum. Because he knows even by the way you squeeze your eyes shut, the way you keep looking back with those big brown eyes, curls covering your face— it’s not enough. It’ll never be enough.

“Come on Bonnie, easy now.” He mumbles to yourself and it’s almost like you’re listening to him through the screen, slowing down, chest heaving, you turn around, shyly looking past the camera, heat rising under your cheeks— cute fucking girl— and then down at the mess you’ve made.

You lay down on the bed again, rubbing yourself, gentler now, tweaking at your hardened nipples, bucking your hips with ever circular motion of you fingers. “Tha’s it lass, doin so good.��� Johnny says breathlessly, staring in awe of you. You bite your lips, trying to hide your moans and whimpers but they peak through. Bouncing off the wall of your pretty bedroom.

Your moans get higher pitched by the second, babbling your words and then it hits you— and Johnnys got thee most perfect view of your little hole clenching and unclenching, more juices flowing down your fingers.

The man lets out a sharp exhale, wallowing in your own euphoric state.

Soap doesn’t even realize hes cum himself, in his own pants.

Untouched.

His phone chimes again.

It’s you, another text.

‘please come home soon & safe Johnny („• ᴗ •„)🥺💓💓’

He’d swim across the fucking ocean if he could.

But he’s settling for now, texting back, ‘thanks dove, you’re the best in the whole world!!!! (ﾉ´ з `)ノ Be home soon!!!😘😘🕺🏻🕺🏻 (*˘︶˘*).｡.:*♡’

Cumming once is never enough though. The man will have to rub another maybe two out.

But definitely using both angles he’s obtained. Can’t let them go to waste, can he?

a/n: naive!reader can not help but unintentionally egg pervyroomate!soap on. They’re so cute and demure and Johnny is just a slut.

most recent masterlist

[ceilidho]

Soap coaxing his new girlfriend into fooling around on the couch while they have the apartment to themselves (he has a roommate, but "Gaz isnae comin' hame 'til after" he coos, already shoving his hand down the front of your pants and sawing two thick fingers between your folds).

You let him paw at you and peel your clothes off because you've been wound up all day and he's the hottest guy you've ever dated, so why wouldn't you let him feel you up whenever he's horny? (Which is more often than you thought; practically all the time actually.)

(Tw: noncon/dubcon)

Only Gaz walks through the door the second Soap has you spread on your belly on the couch with your ass in the air, fat cock buried to the root. And he doesn't stop when you shriek and Gaz cocks an eyebrow, unfazed by his roommate screwing his girlfriend on the communal couch.

In fact, he wanders over after taking off his coat, greeting Soap in a totally normal voice while you struggle under your boyfriend, trying to cover your bare tits with your arm at the same time until Soap gets irritated by all your fussing and twists both of your arms behind your back.

"Yer back early," Soap grouses, hips pumping into you in shallow plunges, like his roommate coming home early is distracting enough to reign in some of his excitement, but not enough to make him stop.

"Shop closed early today," Gaz shrugs, dropping his bag by the shoe rack, still remarkably unbothered by what's going on in front of him.

You're humiliated, horrified. More upset with yourself than anything (that's a lie - you're way angrier with Soap, but he doesn't even flinch when you scream about covering up and try to buck him off; he just moans and braces a foot on the floor to get a better angle) because you've only gotten wetter since Gaz walked through the front door.

"Fuck, dae that again, sweetie," he pants, cock so deep that you can feel it nudge your cervix with every stroke.

Squirming doesn't help much because all it does is make you tighten around Soap's cock.

"Poor girl," Gaz tuts, standing in front of the two of you now. You think the situation can't get any worse and then he strokes your cheek with the back of his knuckles, looking almost pityingly down at you. The shock at being touched by him leaves you tongue-tied, struck dumb. "Being a bit rough with her, aren't you, mate?"

He smooths a thumb over your cheekbone. You clench up tighter at Gaz's touch, dragging a guttural moan out of your boyfriend. It's awhile before he finds his voice again.

"Christ," Soap hisses through his teeth. "Och, yer fuckin' nasty, bonnie; git aff oan Gaz watchin' ye? She clenched richt up whin ye spoke."

"Can't blame her - miss having someone be nice to you, huh, sweetheart?"

Soap's voice is dismissive and panting when he responds. "Nah, she loves this. Begs fer it rough."

"Aw, that's not true, is it, sweetheart?" Gaz coos down at you, and you swear you're going to say something, swear the next thing out of your mouth won't be a slutty moan.

But a thumb slips into your mouth and presses against your tongue when you part your lips, and you close your lips around it reflexively.

"Yeah; there we go," he says in a low voice, smooth as molasses, unzipping his fly with one hand when you give his thumb a suck. "Nah, Johnny, you got yourself a good girl here. Gotta treat her right."

And that's how you wind up pinned on your belly with your boyfriend's cock deep in your cunt and his roommate's spreading your lips wide, eyes welling up from the stretch. You lose patches of time after that, thoughts fizzling out until you're only aware of being filled at both ends and the slick, wet sounds of the two of them making out over your prone body.

[halfadiamond]

Poly TF141 Angst

*Edit: This is being made into a story. Here is the Masterlist for it.*

Poly TF141 where you and the guys have been together for quite a while. First it was them then you came along and you became the final piece to their puzzle.

Poly TF141 where you’re too nervous about being in a poly relationship because you know there’s a case where someone might feel left behind, but the men reassure you and say that has never happened to them and it won’t happen to you.

Poly TF141 where you feel on top of the world with the men. They treat you good and you do too. There’s always laughter, smiles, and kisses. You guys always end the day with a I love you. You think that you must’ve found your soulmates and you assume it’s the same for them.

Poly TF141 where they slowly begin distancing themselves from you. You first assume it’s the job that’s keeping them being busy so you try to be patient and understanding. You try to give them distance but it hurts when you see them acting all lovey dovey towards each other but won’t include you.

Poly TF141 where you’re left there confused as you see the men get ready to go out on a date without you. You ask them if you can come too but they say that this is more for them rather than for you. You merely nod as you watch them leave. Maybe it’s their anniversary of when the four men got together and they want to celebrate it amongst themselves. But you know that’s a lie.

Poly TF141 where now you feel like a roommate instead of their girlfriend. They don’t give you good morning kisses or do anything that couples do. You have to watch from the sidelines as you see Johnny sitting Ghost’s lap or Gaz cuddling up to Price. You just watch as they head upstairs to have their own time for intimate moments. You just wallow on the couch as you hear the moans and groans.

Poly TF141 where you talk with your friends about it and realize the men are slowly kicking you out of their lives. Not once have they asked for your location or when you’ll be back. Your biggest fear of one of you guys being left behind was true and it’s happening to you.

Poly TF141 where you stop sleeping in your shared bedroom. At first the men don’t notice but it’s until Johnny doesn’t want to cuddle with any of men at night and wants to cuddle with you that they realize you haven’t come to bed yet. They find you at the guest bedroom, fast asleep, Johnny shakes you awake and tells you to come to bed, I wanna cuddle with ya, he tells you. He walks like a kicked puppy out of the guest bedroom when you reject him softly, I want to sleep alone tonight, was your only response.

Poly TF141 where Gaz remembers he hasn’t had a self care day with you in a while so he buys everything that you guys need. He has everything laid out in the table, ready for you guys, but you tell him that you’re too busy with work and rush back into the guest bedroom.

Poly TF141 where Simon normally takes a walk before heading to bed and decides to see if you’re up for a walk. He likes walking with you because you get to chat his ear off and he loves it. He loves hearing about the most randomness of things but you tell him that you’re too tired to walk.

Poly TF141 where John books a reservation at a nice restaurant for you and him but you don’t want to go. You tell him to take one of the other guys but he insists of wanting to go with you. You reluctantly go with him, and he’s doing most of the talking during the date. You mainly respond with nods or small comments and any attempt of a conversation by John is always met with quick talks.

Poly TF141 where the men are confused as to why you’re acting this way. They don’t understand that their actions led you to this point. And they all left stunned when during dinner, you tell them that you’re leaving them. It’s meant with protests from Johnny, pleading from Gaz, silent glaring from Simon, and questions from John. It’s there that they realize that they pushed you away and now they were facing the consequences of their actions.

Poly TF141 where you do leave them and move into your friends place until you can find your own. You’re constantly bombarded with gifts, messages, and voicemails. They all contain the same message; We’re sorry, please take us back.

Poly TF141 where they finally get you to agree to meet up with them and they apologize sincerely and beg for you to come back. And now you’re stuck with the decision.

I kinda want to write this out but I suck at dialogue and also I could through different routes for poly 141 angst

[criminalamnesia]

COD masterlist! ☆彡

johnny ‘soap’ mactavish

—✩ even if it kills me (angst)

captain john price

—✩ intertwined (angst)

kyle ‘gaz’ garrick

—✩ johnny’s sister!roommate!reader (fluff)

simon ‘ghost’ riley

—✩ alive (angst)

—✩ timeless (fluff+angst)

—✩ traitor (angst)

part one / part two / part three / part four / part five / part six / part seven / part eight https://www.tumblr.com/criminalamnesia/762374448461512704/traitor-part-8

drabble one / drabble two (‘dreams’) / drabble three (‘revenge’)

misc.

—✩ tolerate it (simon riley/john price)

part one / part two / part three v.1 / part three v.2

—✩ lover (johnny mactavish/kyle garrick)

—✩ mary on a cross (poly!141)

—✩ taking care of you on your period (unspecified character)

[codnasties]

p!link collection 👻🚬🧢🧼🪦🗡 (🌽 links)

includes: ghost, price, gaz, soap, graves & konig

· · ────── ꒰ঌ·✦·໒꒱ ────── · ·

ghost 👻

cheater!ghost giving you a hand with your stubborn child - that doesn't seem to want to leave you just yet - by fucking you

ghost deserves to be spoiled and what better way than helping him with his mornig wood by waking him up with some head

poly relationship with ghost and soap is all fun and games until they get rowdy. good thing that a handjob keeps them tame

· · ────── ꒰ঌ·✦·໒꒱ ────── · ·

price 🚬

stong and powerful price turning putty the second your hands are wrapped around his cock, specially if you are teasing him

sending a slutty pic to john and him wanting to send someting back to show you how horny you got him, just that he ends up cumming by mistake

price getting home from a boring dinner and all he want is your hands wrapped around his throbbing cock

· · ────── ꒰ঌ·✦·໒꒱ ────── · ·

gaz 🧢

gaz is an amazing roommate. he takes care of you in many ways, including fucking you as a result of a cuddle session

going for a pregnancy checkup and doctor!gaz making sure that his patient is well taken care of by eating you out

finally making a move on neighbour!gaz ends with you riding his dick on your kitchen floor when he came to fix your sink

· · ────── ꒰ঌ·✦·໒꒱ ────── · ·

soap 🧼

getting his bush waxed got soap a bit too excited. and so much so that he ended up cumming all over himself

poly relationship with soap and ghost is all fun and games until they get rowdy. good thing that a handjob keeps them tame

johnny is a horny mutt. he needs his walkies to keep the tension at bey, even if those end up with his cock out and one of your hands around it

· · ────── ꒰ঌ·✦·໒꒱ ────── · ·

graves 🪦

acting like a brat? philip doesn't have time to put up with that. he just uses his belt as collar and leash to make sure that you follow his orders

graves is one honry fucker, so he won't hesitate to fuck you in a random closet at base without a single care about who hears

· · ────── ꒰ঌ·✦·໒꒱ ────── · ·

konig 🗡

pervy roommate!konig is getting bold with his antics. masturbaing over your sleeping form ends with him giving you an unexpected facial

he's been misbehaving in public, so if konig wants public he's getting just that in the form of cumming all over himself in the train

worshiping konigs cock through his shorts, fondling his balls and palming his boner. maybe sucking him though the thin material until he cums

[oaksgrove]

Wdyt about idiots in love with either roommate!kyle or roommate!johnny? need some cute fluff boost 🥺👉🏼👈🏼

The Light is On

Pairing: Kyle “Gaz” Garrick x Reader

Synopsis: You and Kyle have been dancing around your feelings for months—sharing mugs of tea, couch blankets, and little routines that feel more like love than habit. When a late-night kitchen light leads you to another one of his quiet acts of care, you finally say what’s been lingering between you all along.

Warning: Excessive fluff, mutual pining, soft domestic tension, cozy vibes, tea-induced confessions, Kyle being a golden retriever in love

The kitchen light was on.

Again.

You sighed as you padded barefoot down the hall, the sleeves of Kyle’s too-big hoodie hanging past your hands. The flat was quiet, save for the hum of the fridge and the faint music drifting from Kyle’s bedroom. It was always the kitchen light. Always him forgetting.

You reached for the switch—but paused.

There, on the counter, was a mug of tea. Yours. With the exact amount of honey and the peppermint tea you always drank when you were stressed. And next to it?

A sticky note with his messy scrawl:

“Light’s on so you don’t trip. Also, drink this. You’re not allowed to be stressed in this house.” —K”

You stared at the note for a second longer than necessary, a quiet smile tugging at your lips. Idiot.

He wasn’t subtle—not even close—but you weren’t either. You’d been dancing around each other for months, roommates who knew each other’s coffee orders, laundry quirks, and worst days. Who sat too close on the couch and shared blankets “because it saves heating,” and who stared a little too long when the other wasn’t looking.

You took the tea in both hands and tiptoed toward his room, the soft beat of lo-fi from his speakers calling you in. You knocked gently before poking your head in.

Kyle was sitting on his bed, hoodie rumpled, hair a bit wild from running his hands through it. He looked up with a crooked smile.

“You found the tea?”

“I did.” You walked in slowly, eyeing him. “You always leave the light on.”

“I know.” He patted the bed next to him. “You always come down to turn it off.”

You sat beside him, tucking your legs under yourself, sipping the tea. “So it’s like a weird domestic trap.”

He chuckled. “More like a tradition.”

You rolled your eyes, but you were smiling. “You’re the worst.”

“You like me anyway.”

A beat. The silence that followed felt heavy, but not in a bad way. He was still smiling—but softer now. He looked at you the way he always did, like he was memorizing your features just in case. And maybe he was.

“I do,” you said quietly, setting the mug down on his nightstand. “I really do.”

He blinked. You blinked. And then you were both laughing—nervous, breathless laughter like you’d both fallen into the same silly, wonderful realization.

“So…” Kyle leaned back, propped on his elbows. “Do we keep doing this roommates-with-excessive-tension thing, or…”

You leaned down, nose brushing his. “Let’s just… be idiots together.”

His grin turned dazzling as he tugged you down beside him, wrapping an arm around your waist.

“That,” he murmured into your hair, “I can do.”

taglist: @honestlymassivetrash @pythonmoth @kittygonap @rainyjellybear @anonymouse1807 @twoandahalfdimes

[stellewriites]

a collection of all of my sapphic 141 fics in one neat, little list. refer to main masterlist for tags and word count.

price

choking on my greed

when your car breaks down on an abandoned back road, you’re more than grateful when your knight in shining armour is a woman in biker leathers.

simon

morning breath

you’ve been dating butch!ghost for a while now.

by the edge of the sun

it’s easier said than done trying not to catch feelings for your new roommate.

next stop, strapford station

your commute to work takes an exciting turn.

every minute, every hour, every day

it seems like everything is against you moving in with your girlfriend until suddenly it’s not.

johnny

an occasion of sin

your girlfriend, johnny, gets an invite back home for easter mass and you convince her to take you along for the ride.

gaz

lucky

you meet a gorgeous stud with a few tricks up her sleeve at a bar.

my silver tongue, your golden eyes

you accidentally steal from space pirate gaz and she has an offer you can’t refuse.

poly 141

maybe next time

you can, in fact, be just that oblivious.

[beloveds-embrace]

(more of poly 141 x roommate reader bc i got enabled: surprising them when they return home)

The aroma of roasted garlic and thyme filled the apartment, and along with it your voice as you fluttered about the kitchen while music played from your phone. You placed plates of perfectly golden roast chicken, mashed potatoes and roasted vegetables on the dining table beside bowls of creamy mushroom soup and a fresh salad and freshly baked bread.

You would never regret that cooking course you picked up. Everything just looked so… perfect. And that was without mentioning the apple pie and chocolate cake you’d also made, set aside on cute little cake pedestals you’d recently bought.

You smoothed the fabric of your skirt, picking up your phone to check on the time; they’d arrive home any moment now and you couldn’t wait to see their reactions. You’d been planning this dinner since yesterday, when Kate Laswell had called to let you know your roommates would be home today after months of being away on a mission so you could prepare this surprise for them.

You’d promised to send her and her lovely wife a big, big portion just for helping you like that. You always get worried when they take this long, but Kate tried her best to keep you up to date about them whenever they had to be no-contact with you.

The sound of the front door unlocking made your pulse quicken, and you hurried to the entryway, a bright smile on your face. You’d made sure even the candles you and Gaz like to collect were lit up, bathing the apartment in a soft golden light.

“Surprise!” you called, spreading your arms as they stepped inside, grin wide and proud.

For a moment, they stood frozen, tired eyes sweeping over the sight of you and the glowing apartment and the lovely smell of a big, warm dinner. Price was the first to move, dropping his bag and crossing the room in several long strides. His arms wrapped around you, pulling you into a firm embrace, and you melted against him right away, breathing in the familiar scent of him- smoke, leather, and something uniquely John.

“Hi!” You chirped again, patting his back.

“You’ve outdone yourself, love.” he murmured instead of a proper greeting, voice thick with gratitude.

Soap was next, scooping you into a hug so enthusiastic it lifted you off your feet right after John let you go. “Missed ya, lass,” he said, his grin bright despite the weariness in his eyes. “Look at ya, a sight fo’ sore eyes!”

“Put me down, MacTavish!”

Gaz kissed your cheek the second Johnny obeyed, his hand lingering on your shoulder. “You didn’t have to do all this, darling.” he said softly, though the way he looked at you made it clear he appreciated every bit of it.

Ghost, towering behind them, stood silently for a moment. His eyes roamed over you, taking in the nervous smile tugging at your lips. Without a word, he stepped forward and pulled you into his chest, one large hand cradling the back of your head.

“Perfect girl, thank you.” he muttered, so low you barely heard it. But you did feel it rumble through his body.

You laughed, stepping back and gesturing toward the table. You had to know what they thought of it. “Go wash up. Dinner’s ready.”.

Johnny piled his plate high, moaning exaggeratedly at every bite and making you laugh until your sides hurt. Gaz teased him about his lack of table manners while sneaking extra bread rolls for himself. Price, ever the gentleman, made sure your plate was full before his own, and Simon quietly made his way through two full helpings even, the corner of his mouth twitching into the faintest smile when you nudged him to try the mushroom sauce.

Oh yes, you cooked. In more ways than one. You were so very proud of yourself, felt like you’d blow up like a balloon if they complimented you any more.

“This is the best meal I’ve had in months,” Johnny declared at last, leaning back in his chair with a satisfied sigh and patting his stomach. He turned to you, gently caressing his knuckles across your full cheeks. “Thank ya, lass. Truly an angel.”

“You’ve ruined me for army food forever,” Kyle added, humming as he bit into another spoonful, smiling at your giggles. “Whatever next mission we’ll have is so going to suck, by the way. I mean it.”

Price reached over, covering your hand with his. “You didn’t have to do all this, love, but I’m damn glad you did,” he said, his thumb brushing against your knuckles. His mustache twitched, and he smiled at you. “Kyle’s right, though.”

Simon didn’t speak much, but the way his gaze lingered on you, warm and heavy, spoke volumes. You’d already learned how to decipher his little looks, anyways.

As the evening wound down and they cleaned the kicthen, then went to rest in the living room, you brought out the second surprises: the chocolate cake and apple pie, earning a round of groans and cheers. They insisted on helping with the second round of dishes, but you waved them off, laughing.

“Go relax,” you said, shooing them toward the living room. “This is my treat for you. You were supposed to be relaxing today!”

Though you didn’t notice the way they watched you as you moved about the kitchen.

When you finally joined them, changing into something more comfortable, you curl up on the couch tucked against Simon’s warm side and his arm drape around your shoulders almost instinctively. Soap stretched out across the floor, his head resting on a pillow near your feet, while Kyle sat on the other side of you, casually brushing his hand against yours.

It didn’t take much before you were dozing off, their quiet congestion washing over you as a soothing ambiance. You relaxed even further when you were shifted to lay fully against Simon while Kyle put your feet on his lap and began massaging your calves.

John stood by the balcony, his cigar glowing faintly in the dim light. He looked at you, surrounded by them, and something in his chest loosened.

You were too good for them, truly. Such a lovely, perfect sweetheart. But he also just- couldn’t stand the idea of you being with anyone else. Never.

So he wouldn’t entertain that thought. You were perfect as you were now; just a bit more time, and they’d tell you right out how much they want you in every possible way.

Though he didn’t imagine it’d be that hard, anyways. You already acted like their perfect little wife.

[sillyswriting]

──  ✩ call of duty ˎˊ˗

ㅤㅤ     ㅤ  ˎˊ˗ blurbs collection

₊✩ˎˊ˗ all readers are afab!reader unless stated otherwise

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ☾ angst . ✺ fluff . ☁︎ smut .♡ personal fav

── . misc

nsfw alphabets ☁︎ ✺ something something collection ✺

── . john price

husband ✺ ☾ ☁︎ alpha ✺

── . simon 'ghost' riley

tattoo artist ☁︎ zombie apocalypse ☁︎ ex-friend with benefits ☾ ☁︎ ♡ bouncer ☁︎

── . johnny 'soap' mactavish

sworn knight ✺ roommate ✺ ☁︎ ♡ friends with benefits ☾ ☁︎ ♡ sergeant small town ☁︎ ♡ dad ✺ ☁︎ ♡

── . kyle 'gaz' garrick

neighbor ✺ ☁︎ ♡ injured ☾

── . könig

werewolf ☁︎

[the-penguin-of-baskervilles]

can you recommend any COD fics? I’ve become interested

Thank you so much for asking me this question!

It turns out that I have a lot of fic recs… I just kept adding and adding to the list. Putting this together took like two days because I just kept going and going 🤣

There are smut links below - I didn’t bother labeling them specifically, so preceded with caution. As usual, read all of the respective author’s warnings before reading their work!

Also, I tried not to tag anyone twice but I probably missed some doubles. If any links are broken, please let me know!

Alejandro Vargas

Pros & Cons - @homicidal-slvt

Best Friend’s Dad - @allemantheias

NSFW Alphabet - @ghostsvacuumcleaner

Kyle “Gaz” Garrick

Whiskers & Wishes - @sageyxbabey

Break Up With Your Toxic Boyfriend - @gloomwitchwrites

Baby It’s Cold Inside - @kyletogaz

Cold Hands, Warm Hearts - @soapsgf

Better Not to Know (ch. 1) - @random-thot-generator

Simon “Ghost” Riley

I’m So In Love With You - @nomadstucky

Break Up With Your Toxic Boyfriend- @/gloomwitchwrites

Please, Love Me - @/rowarn

Through Me (The Flood) - @/peachesofteal

Ex!Husband Simon - @oceantornadoo

Baby, It’s Cold Inside - @kyletogaz

Plane Crash - @ceilidho

Simon’s Girl - @audisive

Ghost & his tiny gf - @/ramagallery

Roommate!Simon - @schrodingerscougar

Snappy Reader - @lovelyghst

Ex-Husband!Simon - @cntloup

Simon Riley x Soap’s Sister - @seresinhangmanjake

Period Sex w/ Simon - @cntloup

New Year’s Fireworks - @i-am-hungry-24-7

Love Language - @yeahjadefinitelyfeel

Simon’s Love - @tojisun

John “Soap” MacTavish

Break Up With Your Toxic Boyfriend - @/gloomwitchwrites

Enamored - @/rowarn

Soulmate AU - @all-purpose-dish-soap

Second Chance - @bookbrokelibrarian

Virgin x Soap - @/captainfern

Johnny Has Amnesia - @manticore-fangs

Safe Word - @lunarw0rks

An Interesting Errand - @mi-i-zori

Captain John “Bravo-6” Price

Good Fences - @the-californicationist

The first chapter of the “Good Fences” Fluffubury series. I’ll list the next few chapters below. This is one of my favorite Captain Price stories, it’s so good! 🥰

Good Fences / ch. 2

Good Fences / ch. 3

Break Up With Your Toxic Boyfriend - @/gloomwitchwrites

The Ocean - @peachesofteal

The Neighbor - @ivymarquis

Stay Away - @captainfern

Bear Shifter! Price (part 1) - @/ceilidho

Phillip Graves

You’re Being Detained - @writersdrug

The House Sitter - @shadowlali

Overstimulation w/ Graves - @/captainfern

My Favorite - @aphrodisiaxcunt

König

Experience - @rowarn

Bad Boyfriend - @lunarw0rks

All of the 141

Just Like Dad - @/gloomwitchwrites

Sex Pollen - @shotmrmiller

Self Esteem - @waiting-so-long

Showering With the 141 - @mushies-stories

Drunk Reader (Part 1) - @mushies-stories

Reader w/ Amnesia - @bookbrokelibrarian

Love Bites - @l0velylecter

Reactions to you flinching - @empresskylo

Controversially Younger GF - @sweet-as-an-angel

Author Recommendations

Author Recs - (courtesy of @/captainfern)