#scene: casca's flashback

[bthump]

This could be a rather random question but what did you personally take on the chapters where Guts realizes Casca is on her period?

Im still kinda confused on the point of that part like...? "Oh yes woman suffer too i didnt consider that ever"

Idk, i always liked the portrayal of a fictional woman realistically struggling due to natural responses like period cramps

(it wouldve been sooo dumb if Casca could put up an OP fight despite her period cramps lol)

But something about the execution of the whole thing was sorta meh to me

What do you think?

I think I can kind of articulate my main issue with it with the way the chapter frames Casca's issue as universal to women in a way that feels ignorant. From my point of view if your period is so bad it's making you faint, that's like a potential major medical issue, and something I have a hard time believing Casca has managed every month without it interfering with her mercenary work before this, so it seems a little too intense to be realistic to me.

It's just written as 'man it sucks to be born a woman in some ways' and like, yeah that's a fair reflection on periods lol, especially for the context it was written in. It's hard to really criticize it because it's clear Miura was trying to be kinda feminist here.

But like, I feel like it could've been improved if Casca said something along the lines of, 'the cramps were bad this month' or 'it's not usually this debilitating' or something to indicate most women aren't in danger of passing out 25% of the time. (though admittedly this could inadvertantly seem like foreshadowing for a medical issue.) Or even just like, cutting out Guts' 'it's tough to be a woman' thoughts? Frame it as a 'this happened, here's why' rather than turning it into a reflection on womanhood as a whole, maybe, so it seems less essentialist?

But yeah that's pretty minor, all things considered. It's not my favourite thing in the manga lol, but it's just a little eyeroll worthy to me, it's not like a big flaw. Casca getting damseled a kajillion times is enough to complain about for me without nitpicking the slightly over the top reasoning for one of those instances.

[beevean]

To be fair: Serpico and Farnese barely have any interactions even in Conviction. Most of their bond is presented during Serpico's flashback at the start of Millenium Falcon, and even then that's mostly through Serpico's pov

Really when you think about it their relationship is a bit one sided: it's Serpico who has a near admiration for Farnese, especially due to him knowing the truth about their parentage. But to Farnese Serpico has always just been her loyal servant. Past her trying to propose her love for him and escape together even Serpico notes that their relationship stayed as just a master/servant type. Farnese certainly cares about Serpico, given that he was the first person she's ever had any type of relationship with and has been with her since forever, and it can be seen when she was about to fall off the Church roof as she kept screaming his name while he was fighting the Kelpie ,but it doesn't seem like she harbors for him the same type of affection that he has for her

Case in point: you always see Serpico thinking about Farnese but never the other way around

They have certainly interacted more back then - I'm thinking of a scene where Farnese reminds Serpico that she and only she is his master, IIRC because he didn't want to blindly obey an order of hers.

But you're right that the story doesn't explore Farnese's feelings for Serpico after that rejected love confession. I can understand her acting coldly towards him when she's still leader of the Holy Iron Chain Knights, because she wants to pretend nothing happened between them because she is still in denial about her true emotions, but afterwards you'd think she'd reconsider him, even as a way to say "I don't see you as my servant anymore, but as my friend".

Serpico was, from what I have interpreted, the human equivalent of Farnese's blanket: a reliable source of safety, the one she has always desperately craved. But now, that source is Guts. And between her feelings for him and her focus on taking care of Casca, it does feel like Serpico has been pushed to the side, while Serpico is still unwaveringly loyal and cares for her both as his Lady and as his sister.

I don't mind the idea that he's more attached to her than the other way around, or even that she detached herself as a way to grow more independent, but it was a missed opportunity to develop them even more.

[deripmaver]

Casca Spits On Your Grave

I was gonna write up a whole long post about what I want Casca's ending to be, what I think is likely based on canon up to now and some of the themes Miura has developed, and look at some endings I've seen people discuss and give my thoughts on them - and then I got lazy LOL.

Plus I realized what I really wanted to discuss is just, as the title suggests, whether I want Casca to have her whole badass revenge arc where she takes out all of the demons and apostles who assaulted her and killed her friends one by one in a show of bloody vengeance, ending with her as Judith beheading Griffith's Holofernes, etc etc etc.

The short answer is yeah duh LOL. Casca goes from a brilliant and capable mercenary commander to a traumatized shell of a person who is terrified of all men, even the ones that she'd known and trusted prior to the Eclipse. In her dreamscape, the horror of what she faced is finally explicitly shown from her point of view - the penis monsters and the feelings of revulsion they produce in her little sprite indicating the terror of repeated assaults and attempted assaults. It's blunt to the point of being over the top but I mean... It gets the point across.

Then, of course, the climactic moment in the corridor of dreams where you see the eclipse rape literally through her eyes. It's incredibly rare to see rape scenes presented that way, in that first person POV, and going from that directly to the image of Casca shattering into pieces makes me tear up even to this day.

Side note lol I probably didn't need to describe the corridor of dreams chapters but I genuinely can't help myself, I love them so much.

In those chapters and the later ones where Casca has her PTSD flashbacks, she remembers all of the beloved memories of the people she loved and is made catatonic again when she remembers she lost them. The corridor of dreams makes it clear that it was Griffith's rape specifically that shattered her. Losing all of the Hawks, being betrayed by Griffith - of course she should get revenge on the monsters that did that to her. One by one she should destroy them, letting them taste just a fraction of what they put her through. Not to mention she was in her regressed state for so long I know I'm not the only one itching for her to fight again.

Here's the "but" though. Or maybe it's more of an "and" idk if any of y'all have done improv LMFAO. Yes and.

I think part of the appeal of rape revenge is that it gives the catharsis of seeing rapists punished violently in a world where they rarely face justice at all. However, what a lot of these movies miss, because this truth is far more uncomfortable and unpalatable, is that the scars of trauma remain even after vengeance is fulfilled. This is especially true if the perpetrator is someone the victim knew, as is the case for Casca. There's the focus on justice and catharsis and violent revenge because in a lot of ways it's easier to stomach that than it is to stomach the how utterly shattering it is to be betrayed so thoroughly.

It's uncomfortable to see Casca the commander reduced to Elaine. It's uncomfortable to see her helpless and terrified and reduced to trembling and sobbing in front of a reborn Griffith as the reader is reminded, just for a moment, of who did this to her. It's uncomfortable that even after her mind is restored that she can't even think of Griffith without going completely catatonic, that she grips Farnese's hand in terror as she sleeps because the trauma is still literal thorns around her heart, continuing to hurt her.

You know what? I think this is objectively good writing. There's no revenge. There's no becoming stronger. There's just grief and betrayal and Casca's broken heart. .........the fact that it took literally 20 years to restore her mind and that Miura included like half a dozen attempted rape scenes of her in her infantilized state is uh, not objectively good writing.

There's a fine line when it comes to writing rape trauma, though, and if Casca stays completely broken and unable to heal that starts leaning into the opposite end of harmful tropes. That's why I do think she should find the strength to fight back and get revenge for herself and her fallen comrades and kill Griffith. However, I can't help but think there's a desire for her to stop appearing so outwardly traumatized and start taking revenge because trauma is uncomfortable to read. Every moment she's on page she reminds you of how deeply Griffith betrayed her. At some point it becomes nearly unbearable.

Miura's grasp of writing trauma is kind of a mixed bag, but one thing he is clearly aware of is how its effects are lingering, and how it informs how someone interacts with the world. This is true in how he writes Guts in the Wounds chapter, and also how he writes Guts after the Eclipse regressing into violence and vengeance because of his trauma. Guts only begins his journey to process the trauma of the Eclipse when he reconnects with Rickert, and then later Casca, and then later accepts companions again. This leads me to believe that this lingering trauma response from Casca isn't an example of him not knowing how to write trauma, or women, but is a deliberate choice and not one I feel the need to critique.

Casca should become a fighter again, and she should start to genuinely heal and, as Miura said, face up to what Griffith and the demons did - but at the end of the day what happened to her is soul-crushing. She should also continue to show the lingering effects of it, and she should get to lean on the communities of women she's cultivated, and she should get to have moments where she's terrified and overwhelmed with trauma - no matter how uncomfortable it is to read. When it comes to depictions of rape and rape trauma, I genuinely think that will be on the whole more holistic than having her just getting revenge.

It'll be really satisfying seeing her kill some apostles though I'm ngl. Hopefully we'll get there eventually LOL

[mosasadogs]

my favorite character trait of griffith’s is how he is constantly rendered powerless via other’s attraction to him, his perpetual sexual vulnerability caused by men and monster’s attraction, assault and horrifying lewd comments that don’t even stop once he is literally unable to be touched by them. there’s an entire military campaign waged in the golden age arc that’s sole goal is to rape griffith. his torturer inserts a speculum into his flesh. he sells himself to outfit the band of the hawk. he gets stripped and displayed naked to the entire band of the hawk by an apostle after he’s been mutilated. his torturer refers to himself and griffith as “husband and wife.” the dialogue from other characters brutally explain that griffith is attempting to fuck his way to the throne with charlotte. when he’s helpless and newly disabled to the point he needs someone to hold a cup for him he literally throws himself on top of casca, trying to fuck his way into having a caregiver. it’s so pathetic and ineffective that he weeps and attempts suicide the same day. you can see the source for fans commonly suggesting griffith’s unseen mother was a prostitute, but the flashback scenes during eclipse to his childhood showing him on the street with no family or money suggest much more that griffith was feeding himself that way.

[suunysuuny]

Thinking of Casca having war flashbacks each time he sees Sejanus with coryo

I've adopted the headcanon that says Mrs Snow is significantly younger than Crassus and there was likely some grooming involved. Casca went from seeing Crassus reborn in coryo to Mrs Snow. In love and completely loyal to an abusive older man who rescued them from a bad situation that put a baby in their bellies when they were barely old enough to understand what it meant to be a mother. Everyone knows what happens to omegas in the armed services. A semi-respectable marriage was more than most even dreamed of.

Casca is convinced there's abuse behind the scenes and leveraging everything Sej's done for coryo: the penthouse safe and fixed, and of course the three children being taken care of. In reality they have a freaky dynamic but it's the healthiest relationship both of them could have. Coryo himself doesn't help, he keeps playing the fragile omega in front of Casca, rubbing it in his face that all this was because Casca punished him out of a petty grudge

Oh I love it, I like that Coryo is playing victim in this, that's very on brand actually. I mean their relationship probably isn't the healthiest but everybody's got some problems, they are living their best lives anyway:')

[13eyond13]

Thoughts on Guts, Griffith, Casca and their relationships with each other so far?

GUTS: I love him so much! He was a bit of a surly impenetrable force for the first couple of volumes, so I didn't really find him too inviting of a protagonist at first, and actually preferred hanging out with Puck to hanging out with Guts. But he grew on me immensely as the flashback arc started and I read and learned more about his backstory and the reasons he is the way he is and the things he really cares about and such. I find myself stressing out for him constantly now, even though he's clearly very capable at taking care of himself in a survival sense, I worry about him emotionally for how much he's devoted to Griffith - which I GET, but at the same time I'm like aaaahhh but what exactly does Griffith have up his sleeve and will it end up hurting you way more than making you happy? And what exactly is going to happen to make you into the guy we first meet at the beginning of the story? The suspense is killing me somewhat

CASCA: I love her too! I think her jealousy of Guts totally makes sense considering how Griffith instantly favours him and always loses his cool the most when it comes to Guts and whatnot. But then the way Casca and Guts end up becoming better friends and her actually growing to like him and to want him to stick around rather than leave was pretty heartwarming as well. She's tough and vulnerable at the same time, and I always like the scenes of her and Guts together a lot. I feel like both she and Guts are mostly into Griffith, but are definitely being sort of paired up together a bit narratively too? So it will be interesting to see what actually happens in the future in that regard... GRIFFITH: I think his charisma is well-realized on the page. You definitely understand why everybody is into him, and he always keeps me guessing just as much as he keeps everybody else guessing! I'm very intrigued to find out what the entirety of his grand plan actually is, and how he gets to what he is when we first met him in the series! I am dying to see what happens with him and Guts, and clearly it's always been a bit of a steamy ambiguous "it's complicated" relationship status between them from the start lol

[ofdemonsandangels]

What's the best adaptation of Berserk? Looking at the content, not the visuals. It's been a while since I watched the 2016 film adaptation and I could be wrong, but isn't this the most accurate film adaptation of the arc? Yes, there is a changed third episode, but the script for this episode was written by Miura. I've heard many times people complain not only about the visuals, but also about the story. They say he's boring, but isn't that because Berserk himself became a little… boring after the Golden Age? Many people praise the plot of the 1997 anime, although it is essentially fan fiction and not an accurate adaptation. They usually say that the 1997 anime comes first, the movies come second, and the 2016 anime comes third. I think it's exactly the opposite (anime 2016-movies-anime 1997) because isn't the 2016 film adaptation the most accurate adaptation of some Berserk arc? Why is the 2016 anime so bad apart from the visuals? I'm interested to hear your opinion <3

Thanks for the ask anon! It's been a while since I've gotten some asks in my inbox so I'm very happy to answer this.

Truth be told, I'm not really a fan of any of the adaptations. I don't like how the word 'masterpiece' is thrown around when it comes to praising the series, but when talking about its adaptations, I've referred to it as an "unadaptable masterpiece" more than once. I don't think that any of the Berserk adaptations have truly and decently adapted the girth that is the Golden Age, and by extension, the Conviction arc.

With the 1997 anime, it's the most accurate in regards to its adaptation to the Golden Age but I find the pacing to be extremely slow at times. With that being said, I applaud it for adapting all of the important Griffith scenes (such as the Genon flashback and the Tombstone of Flames) because those are some of my favorite parts of the Golden Age and it's unfortunately the only adaptation to contain those scenes. The soundtrack is great, the 90's nostalgia is there, and it was a good first crack at such a heavy arc. Decent, but not good.

It gets complicated for me with the ova trilogy because I do think they're good when it comes to portraying Guts and Griffith's relationship as a heart-wrenching, avoidable tragedy. The iconic "Do I need a reason?" line? The way that Guts and Griffith's eyes just absolutely soften when they see each other from across the ballroom? I fold every time. Which is why I get so angry when I remember that SO MUCH had been cut. These movies were the introduction to Berserk for a whole lot of people and more often than not, the only adaptation of Berserk they'll ever watch. So many uninformed and brain cell melting takes and opinions come out of this and it makes me so upset because so much of what was cut is incredibly important to understanding Griffith. But the important Griffith scenes aside, Charlotte's presence was cut down significantly too. Granted it would've been super uncomfortable and downright disturbing to watch her father assault her, but the lodestone scene was a very nice moment between her and Casca. And it would've at least given her character a lot more depth. Also speaking of Casca, why the fuck is she whitewashed??? Don't give me that shit about "the lighting" either. She's clearly lighter, appearing much more tan than brown. I've already voiced my criticisms about Casca's character before but her being whitewashed in the most popular and well known adaption doesn't sit right with me.

And lastly, the 2016 anime. Frankly, I don't like it at all. I find the animation to be way too off-putting for me to even make it through a single episode, and just like the ova trilogy, a lot has been cut. It left out the Lost Children arc for God's sake! That's my second favorite arc in the entire series. Although maybe it's good that Jill and Rosine weren't subjected to an adaptation unworthy of them. The 2016 anime feels like a very hasty summary of the Conviction arc instead of an actual adaptation, which is a shame because Conviction is an arc that's detrimental to how everyone's post-Eclipse arcs are established. You asked if it's the most accurate adaptation of a Berserk arc, but it's not. Far from it. It's the least accurate by a long shot. If you're going into it after watching the 1997 anime and the ova trilogy, you're going to be extremely confused.

Overall, my ranking of the three adaptations goes like this: the ova trilogy, the 1997 anime, and then the 2016 anime. This isn't to say that anyone's preference for one adaptation is valid. We all love this dark and crazy world created by Miura afterall.

[bisexualmikisayaka]

like... okay, being trapped in several layers of your own dreams is not a trope exclusive to this movie and has actually kind of been around forever, but the casca dream sequence that takes over all of 372 is a little perfect blue-esque, no? like that part where mima keeps waking up after increasingly unreal action sequences? there's also something to look at there with casca's own fractured identity as a result of trauma and the persona that gets created for her in absence of the "true self," shall we say, which isn't quite the same in PB but the themes definitely parallel each other. anyways big unpacking of 372 under the cut because i love a casca mini-arc!

once you get to the dream sequence itself it's quite interesting - casca is totally mute for the first "loop", and dressed up and paraded around in this illusion of a noblewoman's life. here we're going back to two major parts of her character - the first obvious reference is her life as "elaine" and the behavior she exhibited as a result of how extremely her trauma impacted her, i.e. not being able to formulate words anymore. the second is the corridor of dreams, and casca viewing herself as a broken doll, which is pretty heartbreakingly self-explanatory, but it's echoed here in her being moved around by these presumably illusory handmaidens and having no control over her own dress, movements, or life. she is, for all intents and purposes, a doll. the only time we see the true casca before the bath scene is when she cries at seeing the band of the hawk. the handmaids believe that it's because she's scared of the soldiers, which we obviously know is not true lmao. the one possibly good thing about this scenario is that casca, in her own altered state of mind due to whatever the fuck is being done to her, finally has a way to grieve the losses she experienced during the eclipse without relapsing into her trauma because of the memories that grief brings up. also her taking care of kids makes me crazy insane especially because of Everything with griffith and the moonlight boy but i'm glad she got to be happy and nurturing for two whole panels.

then we get the bath. again, here water serves as a vehicle for truth - just as casca's tears represented her knowledge that at some level, she knows what she's experiencing isn't real, being submerged in this water triggers her memories of farnese, schierke, and dannan plus everyone else on elfhelm. side note but i love that it's the girls that she immediately sees, it is so important to me personally that casca gets to have meaningful relationships with other women. anyways here's when demure, voiceless casca completely shatters with her waking up in the chair (beginning the second "loop") and screaming. i would need to reread quite possibly the whole manga to figure out if there's a deeper meaning to the setting that she awakens to so put that on pause for now or if you've got a theory, drop it in the notes!

here, we are introduced to something of a combination of cascas that the readers are intimately familiar with. her outfit in the simple white dress is pretty similar to what she wore for a while as "elaine," and you can tell that she's reacting out of pure instinct in combat situations much like "elaine" did. but even amidst her panic it's still clear that she's operating at the cognitive level of the golden age/restored casca and her confidence in her abilities to incapacitate and get past the guards is one hundred percent normal casca. nonetheless, i don't want to completely gloss over casca's emotions during this scene - she's scared. you could honestly make a case for her being terrified here. she is one hundred percent fighting off the flashbacks she suppressed during the first loop and does not want to be in this combat situation. it's clear that this is a casca who is traumatized by violence - that reflection of the sword in her eyes after she chops off that guy's arm is once again heartbreaking, and honestly probably warrants its own paragraph if not its own post - but ultimately it is a necessity to achieve her goals of escaping and getting back to guts.

and then she falls. this panel is pretty small so it doesn't get a ton of visual (and therefore emotional/narrative) impact, but i think it is really interesting that casca's final waking moment in the second "loop" is on her hands and knees, collapsed, surrounded by soldiers. i think that has the potential to be an incredibly triggering situation for her, when she's already very triggered by the violence she enacted onto someone else, and thus warranting her passing out. interesting to not emphasize that moment, but then we get the third and final "loop," which seems to be what's actually happening to casca. hazy-eyed, she looks at us once, before drifting back off to sleep, clearly artificially induced by irvine. it's difficult to tell if casca actually managed to wake up and attempt escape before being recaptured, but it's certainly a legitimate possibility. i would also not rule out everything being a dream, and irvine's mention of her "flight" could be her internal struggles to break free which he's currently stopped and put her under for good (for now).

breaking away from the girl of all time, briefly, i want to talk about zodd in this scene. he is away from the rest of the apostles, who are all gathered behind griffith, near irvine when he reports. he's not even by griffith, who he's supported throughout this entire endeavor (he was the one who flew him and casca back to falconia!). zodd's alone, arms crossed and with an interesting expression on his face - it honestly seems like he's eavesdropping. i think his expression is ambiguous enough that you can interpret it a number of different ways, but i'm choosing to see it as him experiencing some form of internal conflict. zodd is the only apostle who knew casca before, uh, everything happened. she's never really been of interest to him, but she was there when he first met guts and griffith (iirc, she's the one who starts launching the volley of arrows that enables them to buy some time during that first battle), she's there when he kills wyald, and she was the other survivor of the eclipse when skully spirited her and guts outta there. while his primary focus has always been guts and griffith, it would make sense for zodd to have at least noticed casca always being around. of course he's gonna support griffith in his abduction of casca (for purposes still unknown, probably to piss off guts but nothing's really been confirmed yet as casca seems to have been allowed some degree of privilege and autonomy while she was being mind-controlled but had no interaction with griffith or the apostles whatsoever before breaking free, which is honestly pretty interesting) coz he'll do whatever griffith tells him. but there's something about this situation that seems to have caused tension between him and his group. idk, i wonder if he's gonna bust casca out, or at least play a pivotal role in getting guts back on his feet and ready to go after her again. i guess we'll have to see where 374 brings us because things are certainly getting crazy on the ship in 373!

[testure-1988]

Thank you Studio 4c for finally adding in Guts’ trauma. Thank you!! Thank you!!

[bthump]

Hi, Bthump! I'd love to hear some of your thoughts on a few things about Griffith's childhood. Thanks in advance. Isn't there something strange about how he even managed to survive without being sold into sexual slavery to some rich creep long before Gennon? Or ending up in one of the local brothels, which seemed to surround the place he grew up in?

I mean, in times when child trafficking was just a normal part of life, a child of extraordinary beauty would’ve looked like a walking bag of money to the poor in his slums — and like a target for bandits. He was easy prey, considering peasant children had no protection.

And yet, that doesn’t line up with the way his childhood is shown to us. In the flashbacks, he’s cheerful, dreamy, surrounded by friends—nothing like someone who’s been haunted by harsh reality from an early age.

Which makes me wonder: could his father have been more than just a peasant? someone capable of protecting him. Maybe a warrior or former mercenary—someone people feared? Someone even a bit like Guts. That could explain his combat skills, and maybe his subconscious pull toward Guts later in life.

On the other hand, that contradicts what Miura said about Griffith having no object of affection in infancy, which implies he was likely an orphan. Still, it feels like Miura didn’t focus much on Griffith’s childhood at all (unfortunately)

Or maybe the IoE was “protecting” him from that kind of hardship through its manipulations? To be honest, I don’t really like the theory that Griffith’s entire life was scripted by the IoE - because that strips his character of any personality and backstory, turning him into a faceless puppet. and yet it does make sense, because the IoE literally says as much (but that’s another topic).

Ennnh I mean as much as Berserk's setting features somewhat normalized child abuse, I don't think that means it's impossible or even unlikely for Griffith to not have been sexually abused as a child. Like even in Berserk I think most people aren't pedophiles, even if it's not unusual for people to turn a blind eye to it.

That said, I don't think the glimpses of Griffith's childhood that we see suggest that he had an idyllic life. In fact, I think it's pretty strongly hinted that he was haunted by harsh reality at a young age. Yeah we see him playing on the street with other kids, but he was homeless. Griffith tells Charlotte that there were times he'd go for days without food. I think the scene where he rescues Casca from her attempted rapist suggests some identification between them. And I think the fact that he's obsessed with a dream of a utopian kingdom itself is strongly indicative of childhood trauma, both because in Berserk a major theme is that dreams are coping mechanisms for trauma, and because Griffith's dream in particular is textually tied to fear:

Whether that trauma is from being an orphaned starving homeless kid, or some form of interpersonal abuse on top of that, is unknown, though for what it's worth Miura does suggest the latter is a possibility.

Though yeah if you want to headcanon Griffith's father as someone who could teach him how to fight, I think that's fair. How he learned the sword, among other things, is never explained.

As for the Idea of Evil, I do have posts where I've talked about the role of fate in the story and why I don't feel like it ruins Griffith's character or makes him feel like a puppet, such as this one, if you're interested.

Thanks for the ask!

[dialbforbethany]

Longboard Nights - The Husk vs AVID shortcuts

This term I’ve learned so much more about AVID and just good edit practice in general. I’ve really tried to improve my skills so that whilst editing I can focus more on the creative side rather than why on earth does avid not let you click and drag. I also always had Rowen in the back of mind so I tried to make things as easy as possible for him by not randomly deleting sounds or clips that didn't fit with the picture and letting him know about any adjustments I made that wouldn't make sense if he opened the aaf alone. For this film Ben and I had revised the edit so many times that I could hear the husk screaming in my dreams and I have so many different sequences for each scene. For the first drafts I followed my gut and edited in a way I felt it should be edited, afterwards Ben encouraged me to start again and try new things, something I’d never really done before. I’ve always only ever been working towards one perfect draft rather than being experimental with my editing and I’m glad Ben encouraged me to do so and helped me escape my comfort zone. 

I always knew scene 1 would be the most difficult, I had a hard time finding the right balance between the news broadcast, the flashbacks, the punching, Casca yelling, it was quite overwhelming but nevertheless I kept trying new things. I originally started by having more of the news playing out and having that cut into the punching as well as some of the flashbacks but playing for long enough that you could tell what was happening in them. After a few more drafts we changed it to only using the news in the sound and have really quick cuts of the flashbacks within the punching. Although, I’m still not happy with this scene and I need to go back and work on it a lot more.

We also experimented with the first bathroom scene where Alex is crying to Casca, I originally had the full clip play out and then when it’s finished it simply cut to the next fight scene, all playing chronologically, however, at that point we were running over time and we decided that we can splice these two scenes in together and shorten the time whilst also carrying the momentum of the fight scenes into the bathroom scenes (as we felt that was lost when we let it just play out on its own). 

I also feel that somehow the fight scenes were the easiest part to edit because I knew exactly what actions were the most impactful and needed full coverage, what parts of the scene could simply be implied or what moments are key for the characters. I really liked figuring out what kind of pace each moment needed to sit right and I also find the process of matching movements between cuts sooo satisfying. The harder parts of the film to edit were (other than scene 1) the quieter parts, for example, with the skating scene I wasn't really sure how Ben wanted it to play out and I just kept overthinking the most simple scene in the whole film. 

Anyways... here's the final timeline...

[alexcaldownapier]

Film Project - Crit Reflection

Longboard Nights Feedback

Positive:

engaging

good world building

consistent visual aesthetic

impressive fight scenes

focal length and camera work coherent in fight scene

“technical firepower”

achieves the goals

worked well as a crew

brilliant sound design

excellent production design (sets tone)

great practical FX

good script redrafting

horror aspects most effective

attention to detail

Negative:

flashbacks are entirely lost

a little bit missing focus on what the central theme is

not a lot of character development

disappointed in how easy the final kill was

intercutting doesn’t entirely work

abrupt ending

want to see Alex convince Casca to enter the flat

Going into the project, we were all very aware that what we were doing was “over-ambitious” and that if it was going to work at all we had to plan everything out to a T. So, it was a huge relief to hear that, despite their worries about the film, the lecturers were happy with the final product and saw it as a “pleasant surprise”. (“They said it couldn’t be done!”) It was really great to receive a positive response, not just from the lecturers, but also from our peers. I agree with most all of the feedback and think a lot of it can be linked to the flashbacks not quite working as a narrative element due to quick intercutting and lack of visual clarity. I think giving the opening more time to breathe would mean we better understand Alex’s background and her subsequent character arc. This would also help focus in on a central theme. 

The abrupt ending note is the only one I disagree with as I think the cut to black leaves us in that moment and feeling instead of having that moment come to an end or change. If the shot carried on for longer, it would read as Alex being unable to get Casca help. Whereas in this cut, it reads as Alex is desperately trying to get Casca help, but we don’t know whether she’ll succeed. It leaves us more invested in the final moment when we have a ‘happening’ instead of a ‘happened’. 

In terms of responses to my work on the cinematography, I was very happy. As Andrew often said, the cinematography really relies on the production design - what’s in the frame is more important than how it is framed. So, having Bonnie’s work to shoot was a real blessing and I think the way we worked between our departments shows in the note of a “consistent visual aesthetic”. This lets me breathe a little as that was the main critique of my work last term - inconsistency - so I’m glad my fear of a repeat note has pushed me to be more consistent in my visual approach. The note on lens choices and camera movement was also nice to hear as I have never shot a fight scene before, so knowing that it was coherent and the visual choices made helped it to succeed, was very encouraging.

Kate’s note on the moment where Alex convinces Casca to come into the flat is one I agree with as well and it’s a wee shame as it was a shot we had in our shot list, the only one we cut during shooting. This was due to taking a bit too long in setting up the lighting and tracks for that scene and deciding that with combining the insert with the 2-shot and having the wide, we would have enough coverage. But yeah, I think a two-shot of their conversation would have really helped to sell the emotion of that moment.

(RIP shot 4.3, forever in my heart) (or is it 4.2? I mislabelled my storyboard)

But yeah, overall, extremely happy. It’s always great to see everyone in the group praised for their work. I loved everyone’s work and I loved working with everyone. Everyone really pulled their weight and went above and beyond to make the film work and yeah, I really appreciate them all.

About That One Time Feedback

(I didn’t take notes; I am idiot) but, from what I remember, the film was deemed: visually interesting and well-edited but overall unclear, with the sound working against the image and a build-up of tension that didn’t pay off.

Again, I agree with most of the feedback and think that one change would solve most of the issues. If we were able to cast a young actress, the meaning of the film, the emotion of the film and the narrative would be a lot clearer. I think we should have probably considered this issue more in pre-production and come up with a way around it as I think it is definitely the main drawback of the film. Natalia and I talked after the crit and also thought that maybe some more on-the-nose dialogue that set up the exact events we are about to see, early in the film, would have been a way around the casting issue. 

However, again, I disagree with a note - that the film feels anticlimactic and misleading. This one confuses me a little as I think it is clearly a creative choice and the meaning within that creative choice is also quite clear, I think. By putting the audience in the headspace that something bad is going to happen, we are showing how leaving a young child by themselves for hours is an accident waiting to happen and the fact that nothing happens doesn’t stop it from being worrying. This was something we spoke about throughout the process of making the film and I think it is one of the ideas that (although undercut by the age of our main actress) comes through the best. I think with student films that are experimental in some way, there is a tendency to mistake provocative contradictions as being unintentional or a mistake. There was a similar note about the documentary Natalia directed last term, where the dissonance between a loud sound design and the line “a moment of silence” was seen as a mistake, instead of a deliberate choice to provoke an intellectual response in the audience, where they look for the meaning in the contradiction. 

This is a film that, I agree, is confusing and unclear, but is also, for me, quite interesting and has a lot of good ideas within it. Natalia’s simple and emotive story is complimented well by the stark and isolating visuals and is well-shaped and given good momentum by Eva’s edit. It was a really rewarding process and every step forward, we were uncovering new things about the film. Eva’s reshoot suggestion really saved the film and Natalia and Sam’s support through the post-production helped me feel like we were on the right track.

Overall, I had a great time working on both of these projects and I learned a lot. I’m very happy with how this term has gone and I feel like I’ve gotten a lot out of it. It’s sad that that was our last proper crit, but, again, I’ve had a blast and I really do love working with everyone and getting to see everyone’s films in such a supportive and enthusiastic setting. I really loved seeing what everyone has been up to and looking for what I can learn from my peers. 

In terms of cinematography, I always gush about Eva and Sam Duner’s work and this term was no exception. Eva’s framing choices felt so perfect for the story being told, I was always where I needed to be to not only see the story, but to feel it too. Sam’s lighting work is always a joy to look at and the way he handles his shots in post really elevates them as well. Cal’s visuals were so full of energy and charm; Aimee’s brooding images were perfect for the film’s tone and Peer’s approach to lighting the night-time shots was really interesting and evocative. Samuel Tabotta shot something that captured the humour and tone of the story and was also clearly very well planned in terms of the edit. (And that’s a guy who’s spent the whole term saying he’s no cinematographer!)

The sound designers also had some great work, both technically and creatively. Tom’s dialogue edit was incredibly crisp, especially for a film with a lot of character movement and exterior sound recording. Contrary to Leo’s notes, I thought Orla’s FX work with the morgue dialogue really tied the character’s words to the space. James’ location recording is something to take inspiration from as the opening montage he says is mainly made up of sync sound. Rowen’s work in the mix is real impressive, being able to juggle so many different elements and create something that feels cohesive and clean cut. Eilis’ sound design was fun and energetic; Peer’s work in a short time frame was very commendable and Alex managing to do a sound design on top of directing and editing his film is also mad! 

Anyways, enough compliments. I’ll see you all next year. It’s been a pleasure!

[bonnienapierfilm]

LONGBOARD NIGHTS PT.3 [FEBRUARY]

RECCE

In February, the Longboard Nights team travelled up to Inverness for the day to complete a recce. The bus was quite a few hours so I had time to plan out everything I needed; size of rooms, lights and whatever props/furniture Ben had that I could use. We checked plug sockets for lighting and noises from electronics/lighting for sound.

The Garage:

When we got there we checked out the garage first. This would be Alex's room - the garage from her childhood home that she lives in because she cannot face to live in her house after her father's death. There was a lot of stuff that there had to be moved out. However, stuff like washing machines, microwaves and tools where helpful for my set design, as it would indicate it is lived in, everything she needs in the one room. Plus there was hooks in the roof which could be used to hang up our punching bag - which Ben also had! So all in all, perfect room for the film!

2. The Flashback Room:

Next we looked at the room for the flashback scene. This was Alex's old childhood home, where she lived with her Dad before the Hollow Night in which he was turned to a Husk. The room already had furniture that could be used. With a warm colour palette already present, indicating this was Alex's happy place, or used to be. There was windows that Alex could black out. The flashback was planned to all be a POV shot from Alex's perspective of her father carrying her and putting her in the cupboard when he notices there is about to be an attack. However, the room did not have a cupboard. So, from the recce, my plan was to create cupboard doors out of cardboard that Alex (cinematographer not character) could film through. Other than adding some homely touches, like plants and mugs, the room was pretty much set!

3. Bathroom Scene

This is the scene where Casca and Alex hide from the Husk. I didn't have many needs for the bathroom, other than somewhere I could hide out of frame to push the blood through the tube for Casca's blood (more explanation to come in next post!)

4. Husk Home Option 1

This was the first option we looked at for the Husk's Home. It had to be spacious as it would be where our fight scene would take place, so to ensure safety of actors and team, plenty space needed! I liked this room however Alex and Casca must run through a door to the 'bathroom' and there was only one door right at the end of the hall, so for camera and sound, it would be a difficult space to work around.

5. Husk Home Option 2

The second option felt a lot better for the film. It had enough space, it was ground level so Alex could light through the windows, there was a small entrance to the room that would be perfect for Alex and Casca to quietly enter through before coming into a larger room. There was furniture that we could work with for action, with Alex needing to use a couch to jump off onto the Husks back. I planned to flip the table and indicate chaos and danger!!!

Upside-down table = very bad...

6. Hallway

This would be our flat building hallway outside the Husks Home. Once again, there was lots to be moved out. However, the end of the hallway had 3 doors almost perfectly placed for me, as I could stick door numbers on them to look like flat doors.

Overall, the recce went well and excited everyone for the shoot. We had a safe and confined space we could film in, be loud and work in for our chosen hours. Plus there'd be no travelling to set, which is always fun.

7. Cat

There was a cat at the recce, his name was Cheddar, and he was very polite! I do believe, however, that his name should be Garfield.

[beevean]

I guarantee: if the sex scene is real it's gonna be "inspired" by the Guts/Casca sex scene. Think about it: Alucard was abused by Sumi and Taka and, according to the leak, they'll do it in the Crystal caves from the game, presumambly near the waterfall, and where did Casca and Guts do it?

Right, implying that Alucard would suffer from a brutal PTSD flashback that would force him to spill his vulnerability to Maria, who will then still accept him as he is, confirming to Alucard that he is still indeed a creature worthy of being loved.

No way NFCV is on that caliber of writing, considering that homeboy narrated the tragic incident to a stranger in the same way one would tell of that day they missed the train :V

But eh, maybe they will copy the superficial setting. That's what NFCV is good at: aping Berserk without understanding what elevates it compared to the other dark "edgy" fantasy stories.

[13eyond13]

25 for Griffith?

[character ask meme]

GRIFFITH + 25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

Hahaha, an excellent choice of a question for him

cut for spoilers, because I know I have a mutual who is freshly reading this series right now... (don't look, Dilly!!)

OK so my reactions to him chronologically can basically be divided into three parts:

(1) Pre-Eclipse: I like him, but I'm also side-eyeing him a bit... What's he up to, exactly?

(2) During the Eclipse: yoooo Griffith what the actual fuck you actual piece of shit!!!!

(3) Post-Eclipse: I HATE HIM AND EVERYTHING HE DOES ENRAGES ME BUT ALSO I REMEMBER HE'S A BIT COMPLICATED AND ALSO IT'S MORE BORING WHEN HE'S NOT AROUND SO WHERE DID HE GO AND CAN HE STOP DISAPPEARING FOR DOZENS OF CHAPTERS AT A TIME PLEASE

So initially I liked Griffith as a character and found him interesting to follow on the page (especially because I was like woah I can't believe how outright gay for Guts he's written, like I knew that people shipped them but I didn't think it would be that unambiguous? Good for him, good for him, I like how bold he is about it) BUT I was also side-eyeing Griffith and distrusting him a bit from the beginning, just because I knew that SOMETHING crazy must have happened to make him and Guts the kind of mortal enemies they were now before we got into the flashbacks, and because I don't trust endlessly ambitious characters trying to make themselves increasingly powerful, and because he did some shitty stuff at times (like making Casca warm Guts up with her body heat because it was a "woman's job")... but I think I remember believing that whatever it was he was still going to be a somewhat redeemable character, or that maybe the antagonism between him and Guts was based on a misunderstanding or something. So whenever the Eclipse stuff happened, I was genuinely shocked and completely horrified (here is the post with my live reaction to that part (x)

I REALLY got mad and really disliked him after that, and it nearly made me quit reading the story, because I wasn't a huge fan of how porny that whole scene was drawn in comparison to how the previous assaults were depicted on the page / wasn't incredibly sure if it felt super in-character of him / necessary for the plot / wasn't sure if Casca would ever be allowed to come back as a character in the story again ... but I also found I couldn't stop reading it for long, I was already way too emotionally invested in the characters and enjoying the Berserk universe as a whole. And stuff like how mutilated and broken and pitiful Griffith was after the torture he endured, and the scene of child him feeling obligated to keep going with his dream because of all the people he'd lead to their deaths already, made him stay more interesting to follow and more complex to contemplate as a character to me.

ANYWAY, the longer the story went on without him showing up again (if I recall correctly it goes on for at least another like 80 chapters more or something before we even see him again after that?) the more I realized that he brings a lot of the intrigue and make the most of the plot stuff that I'm actually most interested in happen, for better or for worse. So even though I was always enraged by him basically just existing and everything he did on the page after that I was also like "!!!! there he is, FINALLY" and glad every time he showed up again, haha. I wish sometimes now that he was still a bit more of a volatile/human character as he was before he made the sacrifices, because that's definitely more interesting to watch... but I can't say I'm not still very intrigued to see what happens in the end / how everything was meant to resolve between him and Casca and Guts, and if we'll ever see a big break in his aloof facade again, even after he tried to ascend to godhood and erase all of those more vulnerable human qualities from himself.

IN SUMMARY he's not my absolute fave in this series, and that's remained the same for me the entire time (it goes Guts>Casca>Griffith for me, and that order of faves hasn't changed all throughout) ... but he's definitely an iconic character, the one that brings a lot of the drama and the intrigue, and for some reason is the one I find most fun to discuss and post and speculate about in the fandom rn

[rplayford02]

Directing

w/ McMorran

Since Ben is also directing this trimester, he invited me along to block out a couple scenes from our scripts together.

We met at screen academy and talked through the bathroom scene where Eli meets Daisy for the first time. I feel like it will be the performance that really sells this scene and I wasn’t entirely sure how we were going to segue into Eli discovering the symbol on the wall. We talked through the characters motivations, wants, needs etc. We thought about their backstory, tried this acting exercise by Meisner which involves making observations about your scene partner and reaffirming/countering every observation they make about you. It took me a minute to get used to it and then eventually it started to feel natural. I found myself feeling really present and entirely focused on what Ben was saying and how I felt about it. We then improv-ed the scene with a rough framework of dialogue beats that we needed to hit, and it was so helpful! I've never directed actors before and I'm so terrified so being able to practice with Ben, getting his advice, answering his questions etc was amazing!

We also blocked out a scene from his film (which has since been drastically changed or cut entirely?). I hate acting in any capacity but I do think it's probably useful to try and understand the actors process - what they might need to know from me as director, the kind of language I should be using and so on.

Hopefully we're going to try and do more of this kind of thing in the future. Ben's already brought up some issues about where Eli's character motivation is coming from, which is equal parts frustrating (that he's finding holes in the film) and useful (at least I can fix them now).

As 1st AD on Ben's project, I also attended his auditions this week for the role of 'Casca'. Again this was hugely eye-opening to gain an insight into his directing style! He started both auditions by warming up with the actors - cue traumatic flashbacks to being a shy kid in high school drama lessons!! - and then used the same Meisner exercise that we did in screen academy. Honestly he's so good at making the actors feel comfortable, I aspire to be such an approachable director!

w/ Olivia

Directing classes with Olivia were really useful to reiterate the kind of language we should be using with cast and crew, the responsibilities of the director in each stage of production as well as other typical working practices. I found the rundown of cinematographic terms especially helpful since it's my least favourite discipline in practice and so I can get quite ignorant to its mysterious workings.

Recommended resources:

On Filmmaking by Alexander McKendrick (which I read most of in summer and was reminded I need to finish it! - found the discussion of writing especially insightful)

Naked Cinema by Sally Porter

Making Movies by Sidney Lumet

Her advice on working with actors was also really appreciated since this is the aspect of directing that I feel most under qualified and underprepared for.

Towards the end of this last session we acted out each others scripts (similarly to what I'd had done with Ben) and again the same problems were coming up with the dialogue - that it was too formal or else if it was trying to be stylised, it was mismatched. We're working on the script based upon this feedback.