#scene: undercurrent

[sameboot]

Paraphrasing again buuut I wanted to try illustrating this scene!

[draed]

maybe the beach had been a bad idea, because kiyong's grip on wonshik's shirt when he stumbles is so tight it pulls the fabric right over wonshik's stomach. not the strength of a man trying to overcorrect a stumble: wonshik gets one look at kiyong's face and can tell there's something else going on. far be it from him to pry, but what the hell is that about? they're not even that close to the spot where the waves lap at the sand.

kiyong's voice is dry when he replies. wonshik drops back, throws away his disappointing find, and re-appears at kiyong's side: between him and the water this time, nudging them a bit further onto the shore so he won't step into the wet and ruin his sneakers. "kinda. everyone used to talk about this place, right?" there had been a phase, when wonshik was a teen and finally old enough to actually watch these movies he'd been part of as a child, when he'd watched all the adaptations back to back, digging into fan-created forums for feedback. his own performance had gone over well enough, but he'd closed his myriad of open tabs after he'd read one too many comments about him being so cute!

"i dunno, i guess i can see why they chose this spot to film. but man, this is kinda like - all those moody movies about sad and lonely men with dead wives. that's the vibe this place has got." it's not bad, really. wonshik can appreciate it, viewed through a filmmaker's lense. if only there was a little more sun and warmth. he wouldn't have been opposed to going for a swim if he weren't sure he'd freeze to death.

he shrugs at the comment about habits wonshik knows, deep down, he's not shaken entirely yet, not eager to get into that at all. addiction is so fucking sticky. you think you get rid of it, but nope - look, you've stepped into it again! it doesn't help that there's a certain subsect of people who are hoping for him to relapse, if only to be proven right. "my fans know what i eat for breakfast," he deflects instead, "'cause there's a whole bunch of people in the comments every single time asking how i like my eggs." what makes it funnier is that kiyong's the one who's ended up in wonshik's bed, and wonshik's pretty sure he doesn't know and isn't eager to learn that wonshik's a sunny side up kind of guy who takes his coffee black.

"agents, right? always on our asses." get your act together. he's doing well now, but he still remembers very clearly those conversations he'd had in 2015, 2022. "it's gonna be easy work. no lines to learn, go home with a decent paycheck. and you know what, i'm happy you showed. i'm sharing with sunhee, y'know?" he's talking about the bathroom between their bedrooms, connecting them and, hopefully, the booze they're going to carry up. "we'll have some fun, even if this place is fucking bleak."

@draed —

"but really, i didn't think you'd wanna come." between them, wonshik figures he's the one more comfortable with the media, cameras in his face that aren't the ones they use on set. call it exposure therapy, a natural inclination towards the spotlight, or a whole lot of early-childhood training; wonshik's good at it. "would've been nice if they had decided to film in summer instead though. all of this would've been way more scenic with a little sun."

The sand slides out from underneath the thin rubber of Kiyong’s sneakers like a threat to throw him down. He knows that’s where water likes you, off your feet and twisted around yourself, the air wrung out from lungs like an old dishrag. It can’t happen, he’s too far from the surf for the water to drag him in. But it keeps pummeling into his brain, that thought. That memory. And then he stumbles, too caught up in the moment and that fucking sand running out from under him. He doesn’t fall, and the water’s still too far away, but he reaches out with a fist twisted into Wonshik’s shirt to steady himself. His grip is terror-tight, and it takes him a beat too long to rip his hand free. He doesn’t look at Wonshik when he starts talking, even if it’s dark out, like he’s scared Wonshik might be able to dredge out that fear from his face under the thin light of the moon. “Really? Is it living up to your expectations so far?” The tone’s all leached out from his voice, like he can’t find it in himself to match up with Wonshik viewpoint on this whole experience. But he can’t actually kick that thought out from himself, not when he’s standing here with him. Wonshik stops, his presence fading out behind him as Kiyong keeps moving forward. The distance gives him time to pull in a few deep inhales, enough to ease at the rattle of his heart xylophoning around in his ribcage. “They don’t know that though, for all they think you have piles stored up. Besides, your fans are probably frothing at the mouth just to see what you eat for breakfast.” Realistically and Kiyong would hate that, that level of curiosity, people pushing past boundaries. Like carving away skin to get a clearer picture of the person underneath; the idea of it feels morbid. It doesn’t match up, necessarily, with the way Kiyong craves attention and affection. It all feels at odds and jagged in his body, wanting and not wanting and he can’t figure out how to placate himself without spiraling. “I didn’t. But I dropped out of a movie I was in and then this came. And my agent was basically like…” Kiyong kicks at a clump of sand as he walks, just to push off talking for a little longer, “if you don’t go on this fucking show and get it together I’m going to drop you. So. Here I am.” This is the truth, and not the made-for TV answer that he dropped the movie so he could appear on the show. If Kiyong knew the show was going to happen, maybe he wouldn’t have let go of that opportunity so easy. “I dunno if it would be scenic either way, it’s kind of whatever.” Or maybe that’s just because it reminds Kiyong of where he was raised, only with more water.

[ahappydnp]

The whole "being out in the way you were allowed to in 2010s" like you said feels so important in order to understand the culture back then and how people behaved! I'm a little older than you and from Europe, but I think its similar in that there were certainly both "regular" celebrities and internet famous people that most people kind of knew/guessed were gay/queer but it just was not acknowledged or openly stated in the same way! Like an elephant in the room but everyone knew to just walk around it and agreed it was for the best or something.

(Obviously there were also famous people who were out, but it was just a much, much bigger deal to be openly queer and really affected your career and public persona etc)

I dont know why im rambling about this, i've just been reflecting on that time (2000s and 2010s) lately

god yeah! understanding the nuances of navigating queerness in that time is SO imperative to understanding their story!! because it was such a transformative time in culture and i think people forget that being queer outside the safety of the internet was soooo vastly different and hard

the way you could present as stereotypically queer as long as you never confirmed actual queerness. like you said it was that understanding that we were going to walk around the elephant

[fascinationstreetmp3]

oh amadeo/daniel parallels we're really in it now

[pigtailedgirl]

Ray Vecchio & Harding Welsh

[mxtxfanatic]

I distinctly remember someone’s “tgcf changes” notes saying that the final version made Mu Qing a (slightly) better person… I am starting to doubt this 😭😭😭

[mc-critical]

1.04 / 1.05

[human-timelord]

Playing through life is strange before the storm again and every time chloe and rachel talk about running away or their future together it feels like being stabbed in the heart. They never even had a chance and it's fucking devastating. They both finally had something good to hold onto and it's about to be ripped away from them and they dont even know it. They don't know to cherish it before it's gone because for them it's a new beginning but for us it's the beginning of the end

[zestyzigzagoon]

Heartbreaking: I hit 5k words on Ch 3 and almost finished the main part of the fic*, but the tone is all wrong at the end somehow.

(*Chapter four is just a little roll-credits bonus scene/'epilogue' that probably won't be over 1.5k.)

[magnum-fletcher-columbo]

I know on the outside Magnum, P.I. looks like a typical ‘80s action crime show with a hot male lead who punches bad guys and gets hot girls but what if I told you it was also about three best friends being stupid and getting into hijinks

[whatawriterwields]

Do you think there's gonna be a scene in s3 when one of the angels asks Aziraphale to show them the trick of surviving hellfire without disintegrating. And Aziraphale will have to pull off some wacky hijink to keep Heaven convinced he is still in fact immune to hellfire

[mrsdaphnefielding]

Cloudless, unveiled (6)

...Marta is walking half a step behind Fina, close enough to still feel the warmth of her body, and she has to bite her own tongue to keep from smiling too widely.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/64440547/chapters/166994584

[smile-files]

to elaborate on the superego/ego/id stuff with henry on pl bluesky...

the superego, when existing as a separate voice, is always referring to henry as "henry", as "you"; it considers itself apart from henry, even though it's just an outward projection of his own guilt. the "i" is henry himself, the ego, the internal monologue he typically has which, indeed, often reflects the superego's sentiments. he doesn't directly regard the superego much, certainly not as some other "henry", but occasionally says "you" or even "we" to refer to it; indeed, on some level, henry, the "i", sees the superego as being separate from himself but ultimately still a part of himself.

the superego only seems to manifest as an outside entity referring to henry in the second person when he's transgressed its rules to the point of meriting verbal punishment (though what precise actions are enough to induce this is inconsistent; the superego's "justice" is doled out simply whenever it feels it necessary): in these moments, the superego transforms from the guilt itself to an imagined authority figure declaring and punishing this guilt - in other words, the switch of one's internal monologue from "what is wrong with me?" to "what is wrong with you?" in which the anger becomes sharper from seemingly coming from a non-self person (this relates to henry's belief that only harm against others requires the feeling of guilt). the superego never talks about itself, only about henry, whom its sole purpose is to admonish.

and the id isn't embodied as anything; it's hidden away within henry, the "i", only revealing itself through him when antagonized by the superego (especially when it is externalized), at which point he sounds surprisingly sensitive and childish. henry's obsessive internal apologies are, to a large extent, a product of the id - an attempt to push away perceived guilt and anger, which it finds scary. thus, in an interesting way, the influences of his superego and id converge to make henry near-constantly fixated on making himself guiltless.

[altschmerzes]

I’m legally obligated to ask about loneliness into loneliness if you post any time of ask aka FACE SMUSHED AGAINST GLASS.

OF COUUUUUURSE

here's a clip from loneliness into loneliness, the ted lasso fic about dani and jamie both being out injured at the same time, staying together at dani's house, and starting a queerplatonic relationship - figuring out what that means, what they want it to mean, how to navigate something neither of them have a roadmap for.

this is from the night where dani is, to put it succinctly, the big spoon for the first time, bc they started sleeping in the same bed so that jamie could help keep him from rolling onto his bad shoulder. now that he's healed enough to have his shoulder brace off, and has noticed jamie is having troubled sleep the last few nights, dani has offered to hold him tonight and see if that helps him sleep. it's also the first time we get into the thing with one of them putting a hand beneath the other's shirt, direct skin contact, etc, which ends up being. A Thing. this scene could be subtitled 'two people try to have a conversation where nobody says a full sentence the entire time and they both want the same thing that they don't have any language for or idea how to talk about'. it's a bit long, so, under the cut it goes:

When Dani’s hand slips under Jamie’s shirt, pressing against his side just above his hip, the feeling of skin against bare skin is electrifying. He twitches, the muscles under the point of contact giving a small, instinctive spasm. It’s something like a flinch and he feels Dani go still.

“Sorry,” Dani murmurs. He starts to pull away, lifting his hand from Jamie’s side while the rest of his body tenses like he’s getting ready to move. “I should have asked before I-”

“No,” Jamie says. He barely breathes it, really, lower than a whisper. Just as quickly as he’d interrupted Dani’s self-rebuke, he reaches down to grab the retreating hand and keep it there, gripping Dani’s wrist gently but firmly. “No, it’s…” He swallows hard. There’s something strange and uncertain fluttering in his chest, something anxious but hopeful at the same time. “It’s okay. I… It’s fine. I mean, are you… What do you…” What do you want? seems accusatory, What are you looking for with this? just sounds weird. Jamie can’t figure out how to ask, what he’s even trying to ask.

“Nothing. Just this. Just…” Dani’s fingers flex a little where their hands are hovering in an awkward tangle, still caught under the fabric of Jamie’s shirt. “I’m not trying to… Just to… When you helped with my shoulder, it was- was nice. That’s all.” He doesn’t seem to have the words for what he’s trying to say and there’s more hesitation now. His voice sounds embarrassed and it has a nervous edge, and there’s a tension at the grip Jamie has on his wrist like he’s going to pull back again.

“That’s okay,” is what Jamie settles on saying. “I don’t mind. That’s…” He swallows hard, thinking about the press of skin against skin, the warmth of being touched so directly and unflinchingly. The thought of being touched like that, just for the sake of it, the way he had touched Dani when he’d massaged his shoulder after physical therapy, just touch without the expectation of it leading to anything, something more following, is… Well, Dani had been right about that. “That’s nice, actually. I think. That’s- yeah. That’s okay.”

Even after he says it, Jamie waits for a long, still moment before releasing his grip on Dani’s wrist. He hopes he didn’t fuck things up somehow, that his reaction hadn’t made it so that Dani didn’t want to touch him anymore. The more he thinks about it, the more Jamie wants him to do it. His side aches, feeling oddly cold and prickly.

There’s a hovering pause where Dani’s hand stays in place, not quite resting against Jamie but not pulling away either, still there tucked beneath his shirt. There’s barely a centimetre between them and it feels like forever that it stays that way. The longer it goes on for, the more Jamie feels cold and exposed and small, and then everything changes.

Then Dani’s hand moves, settling on Jamie’s side. He leaves it there, his thumb moving in slow strokes over the ridge of bone at the bottom of Jamie’s ribcage. There are callouses on his palm that Jamie can feel, slightly rough against his skin. It’s beyond frightening but he doesn’t want it to stop. The chill is gone, and he feels grounded, anchored to this place and this time, here in this bed. It’s like he’s pinned there, but without the threat that word seems to imply - not pinned. Held. And honestly, Jamie thinks that he might die if it stopped, if that gentle touch was gone and he was left to lay here, cold enough to shiver without it. It doesn’t leave. It stays, pressing a little harder after a while, like the way that Jamie has relaxed and leaned back into Dani’s chest, not flinching again since that first time, has given him permission to settle in too.

[barklikeagod]

getting into the habit of rating movies after i watch them now does mean i have to sit and think after about how i felt about the movie differently from just a simple did i like it or did i dislike it

[yourlocalcon-man]

So like I know the scene with Astarion where he reveals he’s a vampire and bites you is supposed to be hot and all. But my Tav just looked like he was dissociating the entire time and incredibly uncomfortable. Like he was instantly regretting his choice to let it happen but was like “well I mean I already said yes so what can I do?” I feel kinda bad for him not gonna lie.