#seeing her on my dash makes me so fucking ill please don't even think of so much as looking at me if you interact with her!

[transusopp]

does he know? spiritual successor to this post

[fangatic]

on solavellans against dreadrook

i'm a yapper i fear, so i'll try to organise this with extra information in a sort of footnote system and shit. also, please keep in mind that i'm writing this as a person who is a solavellan first and a dreadrook second. i love solavellan and my lavellan is my favourite oc of all time. not that it matters, but since some of you love pushing the ship war idea, i thought i'd mention it.

there's this one post [1] that's currently going around on tumblr that seems to have been written without malice by the op, but the reblogs have been hijacked by batshit solavellans who, for some reason, feel personally targeted by the dreadrook ship even existing in the first place.

i'd also like to point out that none of these people seem to understand what a crack ship actually is, so let's start there:

A crack ship is a ship that is highly ridiculous, bizarre, disturbing, and/or unlikely to ever become canon. The characters don't have any chemistry, never interact, are in different canons or timelines, are different species, one is an inanimate object, etc. via fanlore.org

you might not find the ship appealing, and your headcanon of solas might not give rook the time of day, but these are factors entirely conditional to you and your imagination. calling it a "crack ship" just because you don't like it and can't see it happening in your own hc is flat out bad fandom etiquette.

especially since, when you strip dreadrook to the bone, the ship comes down to this:

protagonist with antagonist [2] stuck in their head (have none of you played cyberpunk??? silverv??? come on!!!)

enemies to reluctant allies to lovers (whether this is hero falls in love and is convinced by villain [2] to join their cause or vice versa)

some will graham/hannibal lecter type of love

literally just basic, classic enemies to lovers

why are some of you acting like this is the craziest most outrageous thing you've ever heard of? like its very existence is offensive to you? like your lavellan is being dragged to the cuck chair against her will? i think it should be obvious to pretty much anyone that dreadrook is not a crackship.

and yet, posts like the one i'm referencing at the beginning cross my dash all the time, saying all kinds of weird bullshit like dreadrooks having "an amusing illness", "delusions", some kind of agenda, or "a need" to do this or that when all it is is just. shipping two fictional characters. two fictional characters whom a developer admitted to having chemistry [3]. i don't know how to say this without sounding patronising, but you need to calm the fuck down.

this obsessive aversion to dreadrook is so odd to me, because i cannot to save my life figure out where it's coming from. is it feeling possessive of solas? is it the same homophobia that fuelled the m!lavellan x solas insanity? is it misdirected anger at the game bc it didn't turn out the way you'd hoped? because you're angry with people who dare to enjoy something you hate and feel let down by? because you're bald and you're torturing people who have hair?

i genuinely don't know, because it doesn't make any sense to me. why do other people have to respect your feelings about your headcanon? why is your loudest response to someone having a different opinion than you to assume that you're being attacked? why do you insist that you and your perfectly popular ship is being attacked?

in case you weren't aware; there are plenty of dreadrook shippers whose inquisitors had nothing to do with solas at all, and who don't have solavellan as a part of their hc. this is going to sound harsh, but again, i don't know how else to say it: dragon age is so much more than just solavellan, and the fandom doesn't revolve around you. it doesn't revolve around praising you, and it doesn't revolve around tearing you down. people shipping the pixel man with someone you wouldn't ship him with should not warrant this weird and obsessive anger from you.

i am incredibly tired of this narrative, especially because this reputation of people shipping dreadrook either out of spite or because they hate solavellan is so untrue. i am especially tired of it because i suspect this reputation is based off of the actions of one (1) insane and weird person months ago who, by the way, has been thoroughly disowned by the dreadrook community [4]. me and my beloved oomfs did not fight that person tooth and nail about their misogyny and entitlement and hatred and weird self-proclaimed "essays" just to be continuously smeared by their shit. i cannot explain to you how frustrating it is.

i'm not making this post because i want to stir up some kind of fight. i'm also aware that the solavellans who do participate in this behaviour and in these conversations are nothing but a loud minority, and i'm also aware that i should not let it bother me at all. i'm just so sick of seeing it because i've never seen anything like it anywhere else (except for the fucking one direction fandom about larry stylinson, which.... is not a good look for y'all), and i don't see any other so-called "crack ship" [5] be treated with the same venom as dreadrook. it's weird and i wish you would spend your time in this fandom looking for and creating joy and fun instead of this.

"footnotes"

[1] i don't want anyone to go bug anyone on that post, especially not the op. it's simply an example picked out of an ocean to demonstrate the type of discourse that always seems to be circling this ship.

[2] idc about how you personally perceive solas' role in dav, i'm basing this entirely off of what happens in-game. i'm a veilfall enthusiast let go of my hair

[3] i do not give a fuck if you completely disregard that ama. i understand why you would. corinne still said what she said, whether you agree with it or not. (accidentally used the wrong pronouns here my bad!! corinne uses she/her)

[4] yes, i am in fact talking about dirthavhen, who would post long weird essays that were anti-solavellan and misogynistic and aggressive as hell for no apparent reason. i know my moots and i have been accused of scapegoating as well lmao but i can't exactly prove any of this to you, so think what you will. you'll have to take this and my word for it i fear.

[5] by that i mean other ships that meet the same criteria as dreadrook, ergo: no canon option for romance. other dragon age ships that meet this criteria include: rook x any npc, inquisitor x any npc, hawke x any npc (yes, that includes varric) and so forth. npc x npc too. lots of "crack ships" out here all of a sudden, huh?

[russetfoxfur]

I would like your thoughts on ISAT please and thank you

AAAAAAAA

im going through this in bullet points based on what pops up in my mind so i might jump from act to act. under cut for Major Spoilers

- color palette. stunning awe-inspiring astounding and the fact that its even acknowledged in-game (and then WONDERFULLY subverted by the scarlet of the world ending!!). i remember seeing isat fanart on the dash and i was like 'why are all these in monochrome' but it makes sense i literally cannot imagine siff with color

- i pronounced pretty much every name wrong (according to the wiki at least). what do you mean bonnie's name is pronounced like THAT. well except odile i called her odie on purpose

- headcanoning that siffrin is from sky children of the light. hes got the cloak hes got the connection to the stars hes got the evil unswayable king. one could argue that sky is also a timeloop game (albeit one without much focus on it) due to eden reruns. the isle could be the isle of dawn. also both skykid and siffrin start with s let me have this

- on the topic of crossovers: narrator (tsp) and loop would absolutely be worsties. you cannot convince me otherwise. they Hate each other's guts and constantly piss the other off

- and on the topic of loop somewhat: GOD that boss battle. loop's eye cracking red.... loop looping..... LOOP USING THE SAME ATTACK AS SIFF........ and then siff winning and sparing them because they helped them get so far in the first place. TWO HATS...... so much dialogue becomes recontextualized its insane

- also THE DAGGER. i was sort of pissed off at loop throughout basically the whole game so when the dagger came up i jumped at the chance to tell loop to fuck right off with what they think and don't think is good for siff but then....... god the game treats suicide with as much gravity as it's worth it was genuinely so jarring to see the game contort loop in order to grant my wish (....HOLY SHIT) just seeing loop go all white-eyed and narrator-voiced.... and then the tree glitches into a warped version because thats loops tree and you just contorted loop......aaaaaaaaa. i did almost try to do One death with it just to see what it was like but loop's begging through narrator-voice was just.... it reminded me so much of narry's (tsp) begging in the zending and i was like "nope not using the dagger not at all"

- one major crit of the game is how hard it pushes familial ideals. i really dislike familial dynamics (thank you mcyt) and the fact that everyone was shafted so hard into very specific roles just bugs me. i do prefer it without the hard shafting but i'd rather them all be queerplatonic at best. come on guys platonic bonds are fantastic please please please stop making this a traditional family when i said i liked found family i did not mean literal family. more deep meaningful platonic bonds in the world please. also just based off how mcyt treats the clockers and stuff do i want to know how people treat isa x sif (whatever its called)

- another crit is the save system. this ones more minor but i wish you could save from any point in the game instead of just those little lights. just a small inconvenience.

- but back to positives im just going to dedicate a whole bullet point to specifically the bonnie-murder-and-subsequent-jumpscare. ill be honest i DID spoil myself for this one but i am glad i did it because even with the warning i was jumpscared by it actually happening. just... you try reasoning with the king because okay maybe this is a really extreme reaction and he can be reasoned with and then you can stop looping but the king isnt going to change if he wanted to change he wouldve done it earlier and then he forces siff to watch as the kid--the kid they gave their eye for, the kid they keep giving their half-immortal life for--is slowly and painfully crushed to death in front of their eyes. that is when you realize the king CANNOT be reasoned with. i saw a youtube comment that was like 'the reason bonnie goes blackout is because siff is actively flashback-ing to that moment and actively redacting all the gore out as it goes' and it has NOT left my head let me tell you. just... the way it shows siff's sanity slippage, and the way that exact blackout is then used in act 5 as an eerie callback..... god it makes me ILL. including the fact that the loop i got that on was one where the daydreamer dis-remembered their sibling AND the change god's statue had a different face and i was like 'siffrin is So Fine You Guys'

- also the change god. both the statue (love how its face changes at random, i only saw two during my playthrough but theres a whole bunch on the wiki) and the little quest thing. thats the ONLY OTHER TIME we see white-eyed loop through the whole game which. Well. also i think its cute how they talk with kaomojis with mira. best god ever would absolutely dedicate my life to that guy as well

- SPEAKING OF! best aroace rep ever mira love of my life /p she is ALSO a doubtful anxious "chosen one" who will murder to save her friends and loves them all so very dearly and also has a roommate who makes bombs. shes the best i love her i think she deserves to rip the king to shreds with her teeth

- ok so to preface this i was actually reliant on a map for my playthrough because like three times i accidentally looped to floor three when i was trying to see the library and i could Not take it anymore. but act 5 messing up the whole house is evil. took me like half an hour just to figure out how to get to a star crest because i kept ending up in the infirmary and getting stuck. i know im just experiencing the intended effect but like still. siff next time you have a mental breakdown due to the depression and insanity caused by being trapped in a timeloop without anyone else to speak with excepting an immoral god whose only goal is to piss you off as much as possible.... could you PLEASE remember the house better

- but on that topic.... god siff "the lost one" rin's crafts are very telling of their mental state. the fact that all the puns are gone from the attack names.... no more jackpot points because theres no one else to do jackpots with.... and then all three attack skills having no cooldown while the buff and the heal both do....... (that one in particular is making me have thoughts. it hurts more to heal and get better than to keep lashing out at any desperate hope you've got for breaking out without addressing your own issues.) i love the crafts in general because of the very personalized nature of the names but act 5's crafts and also the "just attack" craft are like. Siffrin Is So Fine You Guys Teehee

- my first impression of bonnie was "young and angry. yeah that's a pretty accurate descriptor of them siff." my current impression of bonnie is "how the fuck are they so good at cooking"

- i accidentally began act 5 before i finished a sidequest...... to be fair it was the sidequest w/ the chateau castle comics but like.... still. i was so close i literally just had to go back to that guy with the knowledge of that final issue. additionally the ghosts quest. i was trying to do a whole run of the castle (grindy purposes) and i got both ghosts on the first two floors before not getting the one on the third floor. it was evil it was so evil. damn you rng

- i love that one lesbian jeweller in dormont. actually i love the casual queer rep in general. mira's whole quest is about coming out as aroace in a world that Very Much does Not want that to happen. isa is probably trans. 40% of the main cast is non-binary. the lesbian jeweller. apparently mira's roommate has a crush on the head housemaiden but to be quite frankly honest the only thing i remember about claude is their name and that they build bombs. bomb-building lesbians ftw i guess

- ....okay yeah i did fall for the pineapple slices. In My Defense i was immersing myself in siff when i fell for it and i was Not Thinking about loop i was thinking "oh my god i love pineapple lets project my love of pineapple onto this traumatized punmaster". barked a laugh aloud when they said it was good. spicy :3

- also i did accidentally spoil myself for the ending but... somehow i arrived at the conclusion that the king was actually siff from before and that siff's climax would be defeating the king and then taking his place when the party tried to leave. thank GOD it wasn't that (i would've rioted) i love what we actually got much better.

- king shouldve died for realsies. you do NOT just murder bonnie like that and then send siff into a panic attack and expect to get off with a sympathetic ending let me beat his ass up

- i literally cried at the ending. let me just say i do not cry at video games easily but like..... siffrin's loved. he's spent the entire game desperate for any scrap of attention, slowly spiralling as the loops keep happening and everything keeps falling out of his hands, convincing himself hes a disgusting manipulative bastard who cant even see properly.... and then when they realize that that's why he was an asshole to him, because he's been hearing the same rote lines over and over and he hasn't been telling anybody.... and then they forgive him. they don't forget--siffrin did hurt people, justified or not --but he's not an awful person for wanting to be loved, for wanting to have something to hold onto. he's terrified of being alone so much so that he inadvertently traps himself in a timeloop because he can't stand the thought of them parting ways. and it's not his fault. he can be forgiven. they still love him.

- (you know, while i was playing, i saw the universe belief and my mind immediately jumped to "and the universe says i love you because you are love". call me obsessed with mcyt, but it feels a little like it fits in isat, i think.)

- but siffrin's loved. after 106 loops (in my case), a thousand dead ends and red herrings, failed kisses and intimacy cravings and teammate murders and cheeky gods and trauma, so much trauma.... after they've run themselves ragged trying to break themselves out and nearly crashed and burned..... siff's finally free.

[compiitum]

((anyways! here’s a not so gentle reminder not to follow me if you interact with rowan/yoel thanks! (: ))

[preraphaeliteknight]

I've spent a few days thinking about what to do moving forward. It's not the breakup of a celebrity couple that's affected me the most, it's the feeling of losing my safe space in the Tumblr Swiftie fandom. Every time I've logged onto this app in the last few days I've flinched and quickly exited the dash to get away from yet another take mocking and ridiculing Joe. Or minimizing his very valid fears. "Unbothered 3.0". Rewriting history to make the last 6 years seem insignificant. Comparing him to CH as if petty jealousy is the issue here and not years of harassment. Celebrating the return of Taylor Swift, The Brand, no matter what that means for her future happiness. And circulating pressers that make it sound like Joe was a therapy dog who's no longer needed. All of which is making me feel physically ill. For both of them. And even when this stuff isn't coming from the people I follow (who for the most part have nuanced and fair takes), it's coming from their anons. And no matter what I do I can't get away from the outright cruelty and shocking lack of empathy for the person Taylor has credited with saving her life. Even though swifties know better than anyone what Joe has had to put up with for over half a decade. Given that treatment, I suppose it shouldn't surprise me that this is how he's being discarded. But fuck it hurts. So where does this leave me? This blog was never supposed to be an update account or an ask blog. I just wanted a space to fangirl over my favorite actor. But in the last few months this has become a space for Joe fans to be excited for his upcoming projects and clown over castings (remember a few weeks ago when we were giddily figuring out his next movie because of insta follows? yeah, take me back to that please). And I know some of you rely on this blog as a space to both appreciate Joe and vent your frustrations with his unfair treatment. I have 70+ asks in my inbox right now, the vast majority of which are well written, thoughtful takes on what's been happening. And I agree with pretty much all of it. Thank you for taking the time to send me your thoughts. But the truth is, I simply don't have the emotional capacity to reply to them right now. I can't do it. I can't talk and think and dwell on this. To quote a song that's too painful to listen to right now: "I'm just too soft for all of it." So I feel like I have two options if I ever want to be able to be active on Tumblr again: 1. Unfollow all swifties. Because just seeing pictures of Taylor (especially from the pap walk) makes me feel ill. And it's affecting my opinion of her even though I'm mad at her fans, and not her. And I don't want that to happen or the music to be tarnished. But I also don't want to break mutuals and hurt someone's feelings. And I want to know what's going on with Taylor. I'm a huge fan of her too, and I want to be excited for tour and the re-recordings. So that's why I'm going with option 2: Take a proper break. A real one, this time. Hopefully this all won't feel so hard with some time and distance. I don't know if it will solve anything, because swifties will get back to talking about Joe in the future (whenever she makes art about this) and then I'll probably have to flinch every time I open this app again. Because he will have been reduced to yet another ex swifties can make fun of. So maybe I have to go with both options in the end. If I do, I hope any mutuals out there know not to take it personally. I wish more than anything that I could return to the days of being a casual fan who wouldn't have thought twice about any of this. And maybe that's what I need to try to get back to. For my own sanity's sake. I'm sorry to any Joe fans out there who need a place to vent. I feel like I'm letting you down, but I just can't do this right now. Maybe I'll be able to in the future. Maybe I'll leave this blog and go back to my main instead where the subjects will be more varied. I don't know. I'll always be a Joe fan though, and no shitty presser or swiftie narrative is going to change that.

Please just be kind to each other, and to Taylor and Joe. Let's hope the best for both of them, and please please please don't tarnish all the good that this relationship gave them. And all the beautiful music it gave us.

All my love

[punkitt-is-here]

It's honestly pretty fascinating seeing people make super definitive statements about the state of the show at the point you're watching and you going "I already passed that point and thought it was fine???". There's really a lot of "my circle of online friends all thought this, therefore everyone does" going on. For the record, I actually liked "Stranger Than Fan Fiction" and thought that was the one episode that justified Daring Do being real, but I totally get not liking it lol. Did you notice that it was a guest star episode? Quibble Pants is voiced by Patton Oswalt.

I DID recognize Patton Oswalt! I honestly think of him way more as a voice actor than a comedian because my first exposure to the dude was Ratatouille.

And yeah, the only episode I genuinely think is bad with no real parts I would ever wanna revisit is Daring Don't, but that's really it. Everything else is...fine at the worst! Literally, nothing has completely put me off the show before. Sometimes an episode just isn't for me, or it isn't as interesting as I'd like it to be, but like...that's the worst of it, for the most part. I'm generally pretty easy to please when it comes to episodes and everything I've watched so far has kinda led me to realize what a lot of fans think of as character assassinations on the writing team's part are...just usually the result of having to write a show for like 5 seasons for both kids and adults. Rainbow Dash can never be perfect because if every member of the main cast took every lesson to heart perfectly and forever, we wouldn't really even have stories past like Season 2. Sometimes characters just have to be flawed or dumb in moments to get a plot rolling. And honestly, I don't have a huge problem with that! Sometimes, I am fuckin' dumb and irritable even when I should know better, because I'm human. I don't think it's out of the question for cartoon characters in a show about relationships to act the same way on occasion.

Also, apparently the Wonderbolts episode of Season 6 was the hazing episode??? I literally could not see it while I was watching it. Hazing to me, is, like, forcing someone to do something embarrassing or demeaning on a level that can be legitimately emotionally and physically damaging; what the Wonderbolts did is what pretty much every athletic team I've ever been a part of did; you find something to joke around about at someone's expense, but you participate in that joke too. Everyone's the butt of the joke. Do I like that? Nah, I think it's kind of lame, and I would have preferred if the episode was about Dash admitting that the nickname was getting to her, but legit all I can really remember going down is Rainbow Dash not being acclimated to the Wonderbolt culture and then realizing no ill-will was meant by the crew, it's just something that they've done since forever. Once Rainbow is finally explained, she's pretty chill with it. I think it's kind of a lame moral, but I can see why the staff did it, and it's So Fucking Far from the hazing I've heard of in places like, I dunno, University of Washington that it hadn't even crossed my mind.

[buttercandy16]

Desert Rose

Pairings: Sam (Desierto) x reader

Genre: Dark, Thriller

Summary: 

While trying to pass through the US border you and your sickly little brother along with a group of Mexican migrants encounter a deadly fate in the hands of a merciless, deranged vigilante and his faithful but vicious Malinois dog. What happens when the said vigilante took a sinister interest in you and decided to spare you and your brother in exchange for your surrender and obedience, and maybe more.

Warning(s): DARK, angsts, sinister intentions, violence, explicit language, obsession, possessiveness, Dub-Con, manipulation, death, mental illness, hurt/comfort, smut(?)

(y/n) - your name

(b/n) - brother’s name

A/N: Be warned I’m not an expert writer and mostly just writing this fic down for my own pleasure. This is probably my second-ish published fanfiction and it’s 100% shitty (for me). So please bear with me and I hope that you’ll still find this enjoyable to read. *fingers crossed*

Also, special thanks to my creepy soulsister @negans-attagirl for being an awesome beta reader, lots of love 😘

Part 1 || (Y/N) P.O.V

It had been an hour ago since our truck broke down in the middle of the US borders and now I'm currently sweating like a dog under the desert sun while trying to keep up with the rest of the group that my brother and I came along with.

"(y/n)? Are we there yet? I feel so tired"

My eyes went down to the little boy looking at me with tired eyes while trying his best to continue holding on to the end of my jacket.

"Nope, but don't worry buddy we'll get there soon, just hold on for a bit, okay?" Smiling to him reassuringly.

To be honest, I have no idea how long it will take for us to get there, and I'm beginning to feel worried for my little brother since I know that it wouldn't be long till his lungs decide to work itself up. My brother is suffering from a serious illness called Chronic Bronchitis and that is the main reason why we need to migrate to America. Back home I have an on/off job that can barely feed us, the doctors I can afford for (b/n) aren't that good either and I know that the only way I can help my brother is to cross the border and do everything that’s needed to make him eligible for the treatment. So here we are, illegally crossing...

BANG!

A loud gunshot echoed throughout the desert stopping us from our tracks. I held onto my brother’s hand tightly preparing myself to run when needed. Once our guide Lobo called out to us the next thing I know we were sprinting to the fields.

Minutes of running we finally stopped giving us some time to rest while Lobo and Mechas, another guide of ours, surveys the area for any signs of danger. Looking down at (b/n) I could clearly see that he was trying his best to control his breathing. I quickly reached for his inhaler and gave it to him. Once done inhaling the medicine his breathing was beginning to normalize, and so was mine.

“Hey bud, you good?” I asked while putting his inhaler back in his backpack.

“Yup! All good. Umm (y/n) what was that gunshot about? Are they gonna shoot at us?” (b/n) asked thoughtfully. Thinking about what to say I finally settled to a somewhat more comforting answer, “Of course not, must be something else. No need to worry okay? I’m not gonna let anyone hurt you”

“You promise?” holding out his pinky for me to take.

“Promise. I’ll do anything for you” and I know that I will, no matter what.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_

(A few moments later)

Resuming our journey once again, (b/n) and I were trying our best to keep up but we ended up getting left behind along with a teenage girl which I came to know as Adela, Ramiro her sleazy guardian, a lanky man named Moises, Mechas who’s currently berating us to move our ass, and another male migrant which I forgot his name.

Lobo and the rest were already way ahead of us and as much as we tried to get their attention, we ended up getting ignored.

Letting out a frustrated sigh I averted my attention below and what I saw made me freeze on the spot. It’s a truck, SHIT!

“Everybody, get down now!”

Everyone immediately complied. I pointed down to the truck just a couple of miles away from us, as a man stepped outside the car. Moments later a dog jumped out of it and it seems like the man was giving it something he found on the ground to smell on. The dog ran in the direction of the rest of our group and I know from that moment that something bad is about to happen. He ordered his dog to get in the truck while he retrieved something deadly... Oh lord! That looks like...

“A sniper” Moises shakily stated, finishing my terrified thoughts.

I held onto my brother preparing for the worst.

The man positioned himself near a cliff while aiming his gun towards our fellow migrants. And then the first shot was fired…

BANG! BANG! BANG! The gunshot continued while we shockingly watched what was happening in front of us...One by one, our fellow migrants were crashing to the ground painting the desert floor with the blood of the innocent.

Covering my brother’s eyes and ears with tears welling up in the corner of my eye.

I was so terrified that I didn’t even realize that the gunshots stopped. I was pulled back to reality when Adela was frantically pulling my arm while telling me that we need to go. Getting back to my senses I pulled my brother with me while we dashed to where we came from. Sweat falling from my forehead while my breathing became labored and still, I didn’t stop running. I’ve only paused for a moment when I heard (b/n) breathlessly say that he can’t breathe.

No no no please not now. Crouching down to my brother’s level, I took his bag while in search of his inhaler. That’s when I noticed a rip from the bottom. No this can't be happening. I tried to search for it but it’s gone. Looking at my brother his breathing was becoming erratic. So I held him in my arms while I rocked him back and forth “Hey bud, look at me. (b/n) look at me and listen to my breathing okay? Your alright buddy”

“What on earth are you doing?! You have to get up now or else they will catch up!!” Moises yelled at me.

“I can’t. We lost his inhaler somewhere and he’s having an asthma attack. I need to calm him down or else he won’t be able to breathe!” my voice filled with desperation as I just yet noticed Moises terrified expression. Something was behind us...

When I followed his gaze I saw the dog running towards us. Oh, god!

Moises’s eyes were full of guilt as he turned away from us and started running. “ No! Please don’t leave us please!!!” I cried desperately but to no avail. When I returned my gaze to the dog I can see that it was getting closer and closer. I know that we wouldn’t be able to outrun it no matter how much I tried. Looking down at my brother who was still having a hard time controlling his breathing. Time to deliver a promise… I gently placed him right behind me, standing up to my full height readying myself for what’s about to come. 

The dog immediately jumped right at me while it sinks its canines in my arm. Crying in agony from the pain that ripped right through me, my brother’s breathy cries can be heard from behind me while I tried to get the beast off, stumbling on a rock I fell down on the ground and then hit my head hard on a rock. Fighting for consciousness my vision was getting blurry, I was barely feeling my mortal wound. I even failed to realize that they were no longer any canines sinking into my arm. Lolling my hazy head to the side, with a blurry vision I could see a pair of black heavy boots slowly approaching me. The sound of dust, his heavy boots clinking with each step and my desperate cry for my brother were the only sounds in the otherwise silent desert.

blink* boots by my side blink* shadow above blink* soft caresses on my cheeks blink* I was losing my consciousness... With tears in my eyes I can barely hold on,  but before losing myself to the darkness I can hear him mumble on… the words of the devil have sealed my fate and from then on I knew I will never escape.

“Beautiful, my desert rose,” he said. 

yup, I'm fucked.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_

TAGLIST:

@happysgal @negans-attagirl

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[the-cooler-king]

Was talking to little Liz about our favorite required reading for school, and i was kind of amazed that she said the outsiders, too. It completely confirmed for me she's gay and I told her as much (she laughed; Liz is like 16 so boys are still her primary) and then it was like: "why do I think the outsiders is a book for lgbt+ kids" because I've always related to it in the sense of 1. I grew up poor and had few friends because of it and 2. I grew up "rough" compared to most kids around me, I can't say I was in a real gang or anything because thats not what it was (at the time my state decreed juggalos as a gang which is still beyond hilarious) so I wondered when I made that link in my head, and how. And it kinda occurred to me: a secret so big that no one will either believe you or accept you once its out. A secret that could get you in trouble, one that you go to your most trusted friends for help with. A secret that makes you run away. And once ponyboy and Johnny go back to town... everything is ok. No one is sending them to jail or accusing them of being viscious murderers. Johnny lays in a hospital bed and is given adequate treatment. Ponyboy gets to stay with his brothers and friends. And no one really confronts either of them about what happened that night, why they ran away to windrixville for a week. Its almost completely let go. I dont remember coming out to my friends, it didn't matter enough for me to tell them. And now I'm sitting here wondering what my dream was about and thinking about the outsiders again and. Is this a sign? I think I've figured out im nb which just. Thanks for that one god, makes a lot more sense. So I got the no gender part. I also still think there's a possibility I like guys, but I dont know how... hetero-performative that is, and my standards for guys are way out of the ballpark for cishet guys. And im desperately in love with my best friend but in a chill way that'll never go anywhere because even if she discovered she was gay, im ace and I dont think anyone has the capacity or patience to love me if there's no reward for it, and not to mention I've had so many people fuck up friendships because of crushes so I would never ever want to do that to her. If she needs me, she needs me and im there 100%. I dont want anything from her except her time because I've gotten so good at Gears and I want to play games with her and just. Live together. Thats the only thing on my mind. I dont want to die, im not miserable right now... because I keep thinking ill be living with her, this is what I've always wanted. This was the original plan that I fucked up because I fuck things up when they're good for me. And I dont wanna mess this up. I'm scared that I will, or I already have. And since this is buried so deep in a read more that no one will read because its midnight and my dash dies around 1, I can say it: I will never be disappointed in her, or feel betrayed or whatever... unless she gets back with her ex. She is growing, she's so close to finding her way out of her coffin. I just want to see the person she's going to become. She's going to do amazing things, but this guy will drag her back into a pit of despair... and I can't stop it if it happens. People have to make their choices. I have never felt more like the fucking rose bride in my goddamn life. I hope she makes the right choices. Please. "Oh, noble hero, you have given me a small taste of true friendship, and I thank you for that" please don't make me take the swords again so I can watch it all fall to pieces. This is a really homosexual post.

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: 🥱🥱 Jimmy: Afternoon Janis: Piss off Janis: it's the crack of dawn Janis: bet the boy ain't even woke up yet to 👀 the decs Jimmy: it's a lie in for me Janis: before you handicapped me, I was getting up pretty early too 🐕🏃 Jimmy: @ Helena and her 💊s Jimmy: that there's the handicap Janis: her back ain't that bad Janis: anyway 💊s aren't gonna make me jolly Jimmy: go on then Jimmy: what do you need, baby? Janis: 😏 Janis: Is that any way for an elf to talk? Jimmy: depends what you 🖋 in your letter to 🎅 Jimmy: might be dead on Janis: You reckon that's top of my list? Jimmy: know what you're like with 👴💕 Janis: 🥇 or nowt Janis: makes Lucas look 🥉 for sure Jimmy: writing lines in detention ain't gonna come close Janis: Only just started this holiday Janis: you need cheering up too 🌧 Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: ☀️ Janis: not much chance of that today ☃️ Jimmy: you not coming then? Janis: You really are on form this AM Janis: very quotable Jimmy: won't be long til 💀👑's getting out her 🛁 of 🩸 for a new day of torture Jimmy: have to sleep when we're ⚰ Janis: grind never sleeps 💪 Janis: so glad she only has 😍 for one 👴 though Jimmy: they've had years to perfect that roleplay Jimmy: must be 🥇 Janis: 🤢🤢 nah Janis: not gonna be able to face breakfast now Janis: 💔 that's why she can't either, awh Jimmy: stop finding common ground, it's 💔 me Janis: Baby Janis: sure if you asked really nicely, they'd let you work a double shift Jimmy: funny Janis: You walked right into that one Jimmy: there'd be nowt 💔😭🎻 for me about walking our kid to you and pissing off to work if you want some alone time with your real boyfriend 🎅 Janis: yeah right Janis: be all good until he starts 💔😭🎻 and I'd have to come find you Jimmy: I get it, you're off the 🎪🤹🤡 clock Janis: just don't reckon I know enough sign language to win him over Jimmy: reckon you could leave it to 🎅 Jimmy: seems like he'd be a traditional kind of #lad, chuffed for you to be 🤐 and just bake the mince pies Janis: 🤤 what can't he do Jimmy: probably wouldn't have got 💀👑's cooking down him any easier than we did Janis: I didn't mind the excuse to go to the bathroom Jimmy: SUCH a 💊head, you Janis: 🙄 Janis: don't judge me, babes Jimmy: just her decor Jimmy: best that bathroom's ever gonna have looked with your giant head blocking out them ugly tiles Janis: should've dashed yours into 'em Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤 Janis: gutted we didn't get to sleepover Janis: would've had plenty of time to redecorate 🩸 Jimmy: hang on, I'll set one up Jimmy: liven up the group chat Janis: 😂 Janis: you are SUCH a peacekeeper it's SOOOOOOOOOOO cute I can't 😻 Janis: run out of sleeps before 🎅 pays 'em all a visit Jimmy: 💰 on Asia getting into a #scandal thinking if she rubs the coal he gave her on her face she'll have a charcoal face mask ready to go Janis: Can't wait to #cancel her for good Jimmy: just better not have the sleepover here, that kind of casual racism could have her in the running for my new step ma Janis: imagine the unfortunate children Janis: massive heads and bigger teeth Janis: christ Jimmy: don't Jimmy: I'm basically illiterate, they'd be thick as shit Janis: the work would truly NEVER end Janis: you leave her in charge of 'em... 🍄💉🧱🧨🪓�� Jimmy: however many 👶 they churned out, she's one more on top of Janis: can't let that happen to you Jimmy: but near worth it for the #goals 👰🤵 pics obvs Janis: you wouldn't even be the cutest page boy Janis: tragic 💔 Jimmy: long as you keep faking your 😍 mate, don't matter Janis: I think I'll manage Janis: 🏆 at stake Jimmy: gotta take at least one job seriously, I'm doing your other Janis: 1. stop any time and let me 2. and your sister when you can't be arsed Jimmy: my sister when I've gotta be audience to your gingerbread masterpiece, more like Jimmy: can't have you going without 👏 Janis: don't throw down the gauntlet if you don't want me to show you how it's done Jimmy: when a lass begs me for a challenge, she gets one Jimmy: just that dickhead Janis: If I was gonna beg, you'd know about it Jimmy: you did and I did Jimmy: stop flirting with me, I've got a kid to shake away Jimmy: *awake Janis: yeah piss off and be useful Janis: 👋 in a few Jimmy: you got that hint then? Know what your room reading skills are like Janis: 'course you do Janis: got to have something to aspire to Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt don't mean cracking on with the second bit, case you need that spelling out an' all Janis: you're the one that's thick Janis: in your own words, spellchecked, I assume Jimmy: and I've still got better social skills, Julie 💔 for you Janis: if I got paid by the hour, I might bother as well 😘 Jimmy: Oi that's a point Jimmy: never left a tip in my jar, you Janis: you mean the one time I came in? Jimmy: you'd have preferred some festive bollocks off the menu, yeah? Jimmy: I'll sort that for next time 🤶 Janis: maybe I preferred another barista boy, and I know how tip jars work, make you share it out all equally 👎 Jimmy: alright but do you know how pockets work? I've got a few of them to slip 💰 in Jimmy: you can have that tip to slide into your new boyfriend's DMs with 😘 Janis: you aren't strippers Janis: if you want to go the hooter route, you're gonna need to make those aprons shorter Jimmy: there's a few 👴👵 who ain't had that memo Jimmy: I'll @ my manager with your 🥇💡 though, see if he'll get it done for this afternoon shift Janis: you're welcome Janis: you'll be cold but swimming in 💰 so who cares Jimmy: northerns don't feel the cold, bit like strippers Jimmy: *northerners Janis: you didn't totally wimp out on the school trip Janis: or the park Jimmy: 💪🏆 me Jimmy: Ian'll be dead proud Janis: yeah Janis: shame about the complexion Janis: leave it out and you can brag and bond Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: heartwarming Jimmy: hang on, this'll have you 💀💀💀 inside again Jimmy: [Bobby's reaction vid to these decs] Janis: Awh Janis: bless him Jimmy: we did alright Janis: you happy too? Janis: no video needed Jimmy: [a pic like 😁👍] Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: *😎🚬 Janis: 👌 honey Janis: does look good Jimmy: he's doing a letter to say tah to Santa, might need you to spellcheck it for us Janis: He's well cute Janis: doubt I'll get mine to do it but her penmanship is shite so he'll look 🥇 in comparison Jimmy: wait til he 👀s mine Jimmy: I'll have to tell him it ain't just a squiggle but actually says tah for the missus and that, mate Janis: 🎅💔 Jimmy: *🎅🥊 Janis: ��� Janis: long as the kids are distracted by the shit gifts they'll get Jimmy: do you want your shit 🎨🎁 now or in a bit? Janis: give it to me when they get theirs or I'll 🥺 Janis: love ruining christmas, me Jimmy: don't sound like you, that Jimmy: 🥇🎄 work Janis: don't forget the gingerbread house Janis: as I crave that 👏 Jimmy: I'll knock you up a tinfoil 🏆 to go with your 👑 Janis: what you gonna cover your no carb low fat tofurkey with?!!!!? 😱😱😱 Jimmy: you're more important, girl Janis: taste better, is the honest truth Janis: don't need to be a 🧛 to know Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: I'll stick that in the group chat Janis: you can say it but they're not gonna find out for themselves Jimmy: as constructive criticism goes it ain't bad but no need to take it as an instruction, lasses Janis: 🤢🤢 Janis: stop making me feel ill Janis: I've got to go break the ✨ surprise and get all the 🏆👑 Jimmy: piss off then Janis: TTFN Jimmy: 💕 Janis: [actually skip forward now] Janis: where do you wanna meet? we're ready Jimmy: We'll walk over, get the intros out the way before 🎅 can stick his oar in Janis: 👍 Janis: she's pretty good at pronunciation for a kid but you might have to step in if she gets too chatty Jimmy: keep her on the nice list, I get it Janis: Don't worry, she's not a dick like my sister or anything Jimmy: I weren't Jimmy: you wouldn't have invited her if she were owt like Gracie Janis: Good Janis: we'll be outside ☃️☃️ Jimmy: 👍 Janis: not got any 🚬🕶 going so can't make it in your likeness this time soz Jimmy: long as you get the 👂 and eyebrows sorted you can still tag me Janis: 🪒 Jimmy: 😍 Janis: you deserve a treat too, like Jimmy: I'm just pleased to see you, soz Jimmy: 🚫🔪🔨🔧🪓 Janis: don't worry, santa is coming through for me later Janis: 🤞 for ☣️ Janis: 🥴🤤🤮💀👻 Jimmy: 💰 on your man having a flask of socially acceptable poison Janis: yeah, give him the rosy red cheeks that complete the lewk Janis: nose that looks like a 🍓 Jimmy: that there's the only treat I need 🤤 Janis: 😂 Jimmy: [show up so these bubs can meet and start a lifelong friendship] Janis: [Libi just like bonjour, what are you going to ask Santa for, I'm gonna ask for this and this] Jimmy: [we know Bobby wants art supplies and a camera and we know why lol cue an eye roll from Jimothy as if he isn't buzzing to be loved] Janis: [no pretending that's not adorable, like, just like WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOUR CRAYON] Jimmy: [okay but imagine him taking a crayon from behind his ear where jimothy keeps 🚬] Janis: [imagine, Janis just 😏 above their heads like not encouraging bad habits or nothing] Jimmy: [jimmy just looking to see if it's black like his soul or blood red and tutting when it obvs isn't either of those] Janis: [shakes head like what have you been teaching him tbh, Libi saying hers is that bluey silver colour like her mum's hair and we oop] Jimmy: [Bobby just like I don't have a mum anymore cos kids don't give a fuck and Jimmy just like so glad I get to sign this] Janis: [just literally like gurl same! 'cos neither of you can tell a child to shut the fuck up lmao 'my mummy and daddy are dead, what happened to your mum?'] Jimmy: [Bobby just like 'she went away' because we truly know not] Janis: [just like fantastic, so glad we came, bet he's thrilled he invited us now, 'cos we're not even looking, just walking in total silence, meanwhile Libi like oh okay 'If she comes back, I can see her' and then moving on chatting about our dog and what we're getting her for Christmas] Jimmy: [Bobby just like 'my dad's about but you wouldn't want to meet him' and doing an impression of Ian's angry face and then telling her all about Twix because dogs 5ever, making Jimothy give him his phone to show Libi pics of this pup] Janis: ['my granddad could fight him' when you're like Libi shh that's not nice but at least that is amusing as a prospect, also clearly doing a phone swap 'cos you'd have that Killer queen content on yours, Libi being like 'Janis knows loads about dogs and has taught her loads of tricks because she used to be a naughty girl and wee everywhere and eat everyone's shoes' and loling] Jimmy: [Bobby just dangerously close to outting Jimmy's secrets by telling her that he fights Ian sometimes so casual so nbd and then telling her about how Cass did that dog walk the other day and going on and on about how naughty Twix is and all the things she's done] Janis: [JJ y'all gotta pick them up and run so you can shove breakfast in their gobs like nooooooooo 'you're so lucky you've got a brother AND a sister, even though your brother's old too' looking at Jimmy and shaking her head in disdain because that's the age of her aunties and stuff and kids have no concept of age they treat you like you're ancient but at least that's a joke we've had so Janis managing to look at Jimmy like lol, she knows your secret] Jimmy: [the most half hearted 😏 but we're a bit more amused when Bobby starts dragging Cass by doing an impression of how angry she is and stomping about etc as if she's worse than Ian] Janis: [she's cackling in that way babby's do 'you're funny, you're my new friend'] Jimmy: [Bobby is buzzing and we're using Jimothy's phone to have a selfie sesh but also take artsy pics of our new bff as we go along] Janis: [run along you innocent children, like you've not just revealed so much, god bless] Jimmy: [JJ just awkwardly af walking in silence now thanks kids] Janis: [going to apologize like several times but you can't even, where would you begin lmao, pretend it's chill] Jimmy: [chuck some snow at her or like shake a tree branch full of it onto her or something, any distraction will do] Janis: [fall into the safety of that] Jimmy: [if nothing else he's good at that when things are awkward] Janis: [likewise, when we sit down for this breakfast, you can do all the posting thus far] Jimmy: [cheers to the fans for that distraction, meanwhile Jimmy and Bobby can teach Libi some easy signing since we're BFFs and gonna be seeing more of you undoubtedly baby hen] Janis: [lucky for you gal, perks of being but a child, she'd love that 'cos mini nerd and she'll be able to pick it up as most nurseries now do makaton so it's a way into learning it] Jimmy: [at least the bubs are having a lovely time until Santa breaks Bobby's heart by not knowing any] Janis: [truly, a day of drama and stress when you're just trying to do something nice, if that don't sum up xmas] Jimmy: [the tea honey, at least that'll be easy to smooth over like the people I work with are dickheads as well boy, that ain't the real Santa's fault] Janis: [it happens a lot 'cos the shopping centre ones freak kids out rightly so, Libi just blowing raspberries at him like understand this loser 'cos we're a baby bad bitch] Jimmy: [I stan Libi and the way she'll protect him and make him less shy, cos you know we're doing it too after she has and didn't get shouted at lol] Janis: [you've got your prezzies kids, fuck him up, just tugging on Jimmy's sleeve and loudly being like 'What's sign for poopoo head?' 'cos the age hen] Jimmy: [obvs we're showing her and we're not sorry, Jimothy is a bad bitch too okay] Janis: [we're just calling everyone a poopoo head all day now, which I imagine is quite visually obvious because the swears etc usually are] Jimmy: [that has cheered everyone greatly thanks Libi] Janis: [you are a funny egg, at least, hence we can't be mad at you/ignore you because what is that achieving, 'tis not your fault Edie is dead luv] Jimmy: [and Edie wouldn't want that like you can be anti Ruster having her because she wouldn't want that obvs] Janis: [make that the hill and we lowkey ignore everyone else rn, at least in comparison to how everything was before, so it's fine lol, think we are gonna get y'all presents that don't suck and I think you should get pups and name them] Jimmy: [keeping them forever, you cannot destroy them Twix or Killer thank you] Janis: [keep 'em safe, lads, I think you should call yours Star, 'cos huskies are that silvery grey colour too and the names work well together because obviously your dogs are BFFs too] Jimmy: [aw Snow & Star 4ever] Janis: [making Janis make the dogs do little tricks for y'all and then cackling again when she makes 'em poo on Libi's head] Jimmy: [love this so much, also can't forget Jimmy giving Janis the 🎨 which can be when the bubs have their real 🎁 cos fuck you Santa] Janis: [we know she genuinely appreciates them honey, we're always excited to see what he's done] Jimmy: [god knows because he blatantly did it last night after she left/early this morning even before this convo started because never sleep well so] Janis: [you know Libi is gonna be all over that hun like SHOW ME and then being like draw me draw me to Jimmy and Bobby] Jimmy: [they shall honey because we love an art sesh] Janis: [the confidence of a child, just posing here with the dogs] Jimmy: [never change gal never lose it] Janis: [we're clearly making Janis too, then shouting out increasingly complicated things, like, make the dogs pull us on a sleigh, make us flying, like gal, your dreams lol] Jimmy: [Jimothy will never back down from a challenge, he's got you bub] Janis: [don't stress out poor Bobby though, at least you not a rude ass bitch so you wouldn't shade his attempt] Jimmy: [it'd be a cute attempt, BFF status cemented] Janis: [can put up these pics for extra cuteness, hoes will DIE] Jimmy: [I wish we actually had some but alas] Janis: [never be as good as our imagination anyway] Jimmy: [true, is there anything else we wanna have them do before he has to go back to work?] Jimmy: [could go to the park maybe because it's right by his house and thus mcvickers] Janis: [that's a good way to end this day for you kiddos, could also get the dogs which would make them lowkey hysterical with happiness so pop off] Jimmy: [love that cos we know Cass has probably walked the other dogs while they've been out for that cash so no time to take Twix] Janis: [live ya life, get ya things, but now you gotta go to work and we gotta] Janis: Thanks for today, reckon they both enjoyed themselves 👍✔ Jimmy: you're alright, were going any road and I reckon he had a better time with her about Janis: they were cute Janis: and she lives at my nan and granddads so if he wants to hang more, easy done Jimmy: 👍✔ Janis: Yeah Janis: well she doesn't always talk about her dead mum and dad so it shouldn't be a big thing Janis: sorry Jimmy: it weren't a big thing to him Jimmy: nowt for you to be sorry for Janis: It weirds plenty of kids out Janis: I could've warned you, I guess Jimmy: loads of kids reckon he's weird Jimmy: Asia's sister included Janis: some front when you look like your ma fucked a cheese grater Jimmy: her dad weren't at the nativity, might be 'cause he were stuck in a drawer, yeah Janis: dunno if she's got one any more Janis: 💀👑 flex Jimmy: what, like she fucked and ate him? Janis: 🐰🥕 Jimmy: #fated Janis: 💔 they didn't think so Jimmy: 💔 I can't change the station to Classic FM for them 🎻s Janis: Perils of 🎅🎄🎁☃️ Jimmy: ❌🎅 that shithead's 💀💀💀 to us Janis: yeah Janis: and his tunes are shit Jimmy: don't even care how fit that 🍓 were looking Jimmy: SO over him and his 👃 babes Janis: better off without him Janis: you can do SO much better Jimmy: 🖋 us a joke about him being a ho ho HOE Janis: I'll hit up the group chat Janis: their level of humour Jimmy: 🥇💡 Janis: and one of them has always just been dumped so they'll comiserate with you Jimmy: tah huns Janis: nothing if not the BEST friends to have Jimmy: DUH! Only time I'll accept 🥈 Janis: charming that is 😏 Jimmy: I get it 🎅 were a right let down, you need some 💕 Janis: just a bit rude that you're so gracious with them Jimmy: Baby Janis: Such a pisstake Jimmy: their BFF status, yeah Janis: you Jimmy: why me? Janis: you just are Jimmy: you can take it Janis: true Jimmy: I know, that'll be why I said it Janis: we're alright, yeah? Janis: I don't think shit needs to be weird just 'cos 2 kids have got no filter Jimmy: don't it feel like we're alright to you? Janis: it was a bit awkward Janis: but I'm over it if you are Jimmy: nowt to be over from where I'm serving overpriced ☕ Jimmy: just the unpaid translator earlier, me, none of my business what they were going on about Jimmy: if you wanna tell me something, up to you, that Janis: alright Janis: works for me Jimmy: she's world class at signing, won't need me after a bit, any road Janis: bit of a third-wheel Janis: cramp his style with your 🤓 Jimmy: *😎 Jimmy: but alright 🖍 are cooler than 🚬 give him that Janis: gonna usurp you in every way, for sure Jimmy: go on then, what's your fave colour 🖍 ? Janis: the important questions Janis: don't know why it's taken you so long Jimmy: tell me Jimmy: edge of the seat I ain't allowed to put my arse near til my next break Janis: 🎻😞 Janis: goldenrod or inchworm obvs Jimmy: gonna do your next 🎨 in them so 🤞 you took it serious Janis: it's 💛💚 so I'm gonna look like a keylime pie Jimmy: never said I were drawing you, bighead Janis: you will be though Jimmy: not gonna now for the sake of Janis: 1. I know you're tired, grumpy 2. How will they know it's goals??? Jimmy: 1. Bollocks 2. everything I touch turns to #goals, nowt I could do wrong Janis: 1. s'fair, you've been an unpaid translator, an artiste, santa and now barista boy who can't sit down 2. alright, if you want to add Midas to the CV but might be a bit much Jimmy: now I've got your permission I'll draw some eyes on 😎 and grab a quick kip 👍 tah for that, Jillian Jimmy: ❌ that off the CV though, noted Janis: it's fair but life and working a minimum wage job for your living ain't Janis: keep 💭 though and I'll let you focus on it and the overpriced ☕ Jimmy: where's your focus going? Janis: need to get another minimum wage job I can do sitting down so you don't take it over/ban me Jimmy: you were hopping round less today, that just for the kid's benefit or were you 💭 about keeping me out of pocket with a full recovery, like? Janis: 💭 about keeping you out the loop and pretending it's permanent Janis: have you munchausened me or am I munchausening you Janis: real question #2 Jimmy: well done on telling me that plan then Janis: Yeah, you know Janis: when you've pissed off who's gonna carry me about Jimmy: 🎅 Jimmy: you're heavy but not sack of 🎁 heavy Janis: true Janis: he's 💪 Janis: oh well, problem sorted then 👋 Jimmy: Lucas is a poor man's version an' all he'd be alright for a few lifts Jimmy: I'll race back for the funeral, obvs Janis: don't Janis: he actually offered me a lift once after a match and it was very awkward Janis: definitely not meant to do that, but he's a maverick, you know Jimmy: did you offer to take a lit match to his car or what? Janis: I'm not as witty as Libi Janis: but I did get detention for a week, which is funny as, like what you saying for? 'cos I didn't wanna get sexually assaulted and dumped in a ditch? Janis: 💩💩🧠 Jimmy: Stockholm syndrome only works for dickheads like me on dickheads like you 💔 for him Janis: 'scuse me? Jimmy: can't ⛓ you to a desk nowhere but in his dreams Jimmy: could've childlocked you into his motor but his lack of 🥇🗨 pissed on that Janis: If there was anything in his plan for me, might've worked Janis: but I'm not arsed about straight As Janis: 🤞 he tried Mia next Jimmy: she does look like she just crawled out a ditch Jimmy: dunno if we can score him any credit for that though Janis: just the #aesthetic babes Janis: try and look a bit buzzing when they come in, 'cos they will Janis: no need to 💔 them about 🎅 when you can act like it was the best time ever Jimmy: 😒 just my face, nowt personal, Mia Janis: NOT pleased to see her 🔧🔨🧨🪓🔪 Jimmy: I'll fake it if she fakes not being a Scrooge Janis: no need to go that far Jimmy: if you can't be a slag for tips at christmas, when can you, eh? Janis: 🙄😏 Jimmy: Oi, dead serious question, that Janis: I don't do your schedule Janis: though maybe I'll pop a CV in Janis: better or worse than step-mum nightmares? 🤔 Jimmy: Depends Janis: on? Jimmy: you gonna leave the ☕🎨 to me or are we making 🎄🍆 happen? Janis: 1. the #goals answer is the cup ain't big enough to do it justice, alright 2. if you were as good a teacher as Lucas, I might be better but most importantly 3. gonna be your manager, I'll never be there let alone ever make ☕s Jimmy: got it all figured out, you Jimmy: be piss easy for you to answer my next dead serious question Janis: yeah, aside for my total lack of experience for the role, well in Janis: so go on Jimmy: I were just thinking are we too 👰💍🤵? 👵💕👴 ain't #goals unless we're chatting my personal Janis: too domestic, you mean? Jimmy: we've done 👶🐕 if there ain't a christmas eve eve party I'll lose the 🤏 of faith I had in paddy teen humanity Janis: there's always parties Janis: it probably is time to hit another one up Jimmy: nowt to do with Ian clocking off for 🎄 and TOTALLY to do with me being chuffed to bits to give the fans what they're after Janis: 🙌 Janis: worth celebrating, I get it Jimmy: 🍾 Janis: as much as it pains me, I can't say I can't make it Janis: so sure, put in an appearance Jimmy: I get it 💔 you can't dance Jimmy: 🦶🎻🎻 Janis: at least I have an excuse Jimmy: me an' all, it's being a white northern lad Janis: 😂 Janis: I meant an excuse not to be ground on by randomers but yeah Jimmy: still works Janis: 💔💔 Jimmy: don't worry, I'll do my 😭 for pity tips, nowt you need to see Janis: if you're going that kind of party Janis: don't need to invite me Jimmy: I'll tell Doris to chuck her cardi on 💕 she'll love a bit of that Janis: unsurprised Janis: dirty bitch Jimmy: 😍😍 Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: green is right Janis: ha Janis: obviously Jimmy: whatever party we're going to, I will need a slaggy 🤶 ootd Janis: Penneys will have one you can pick up Jimmy: owt you want? Janis: not a fake beard Janis: ❌🎅 Jimmy: already got one of them in me Janis: fuck off Jimmy: in a bit then, Ellen Janis: you aren't funny Jimmy: still working on the 🤹 me Jimmy: ☕☕☕☕☕ Janis: keep at it Jimmy: they're here, should I invite 'em to this party or what? Janis: depends Jimmy: ? Janis: do you want an actual night off or do you wanna have to do #goals shit Jimmy: you heard, can do goals shit without trying Jimmy: do you want a night off? Janis: I asked you first Jimmy: so answer me first Janis: 🙄 Janis: I've had enough time off Janis: my ankle is better Jimmy: alright Janis: so answer Jimmy: I did Janis: Bitch, where Jimmy: I said alright Jimmy: I can do it Janis: no need to tax yourself Jimmy: piss off Janis: I'll go home and decorate mine Jimmy: 👌 Janis: don't invite them and you can actually have a decent time Jimmy: where? it's still a shit party full of dickheads Janis: it's your night off Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: you can't think of a single fun thing to do? Jimmy: if I ain't on your clock I'm on another Jimmy: 👶🐕 Janis: you said your dad was off Janis: is that not the entire point Jimmy: the entire point were I don't wanna be there, not that I don't have to be Jimmy: nowt #goals about pissing about for the sake of Jimmy: if you don't need me to be 🏆 they do Janis: if you don't wanna be there, then don't Janis: it doesn't make any odds if we're being #goals or not Janis: like your dad is really invested Jimmy: nowt I do is for that prick's benefit, didn't reckon that needed spelling out an' all Janis: that's my point Janis: do it for yourself Janis: don't need to pretend you're doing me a massive favour to warrant it Jimmy: what's it doing for me if I ain't? Janis: I don't know Janis: some peace and quiet Janis: time to fucking breathe Jimmy: you heard me, where? Jimmy: tisn't the season, mate Janis: for fuck's sake Janis: I never said I had all the answers for you Jimmy: don't have a go at me just 'cause I ain't chuffed at the prospect of becoming a ⛄ walking the streets of this shithole taking deep breaths or some bollocks Janis: you stop having a go at me first and we'll be quits Janis: sorry I don't have any top ideas of what you can do Janis: if I did we wouldn't need to bother with this bullshit Jimmy: 👍 Janis: whatever Jimmy: tah for that Janis: just piss off and do some work Jimmy: going against your night off stance but alright Jimmy: not the hill you wanna 💀💀💀 on Janis: whatever you're gonna do, you're still on the 🕡 right now Jimmy: weren't reckoning I had this apron on 'cause it makes me look even more fit and mysterious Jimmy: just a bonus, that Janis: funny Jimmy: come to the party with me, dickhead Janis: you're so frustrating Jimmy: how else you gonna prove to me your ankle is better and get your 🐕🏃💰 back? Jimmy: come on Janis: alright Jimmy: alright Janis: I thought you wanted to go alone Jimmy: what for? Janis: be off my 🕡 Jimmy: this is the easiest job I've got Jimmy: and before you start, NOT saying you are Janis: I'm not starting nothing Janis: it just pisses me off when you act like it's all my idea, or I wanna do it Janis: it's mutually beneficial, that's the point Janis: and the rest of them are the ones 👀 & 💬 Janis: not me Jimmy: it were my idea, I ain't forgotten that or why it's a 🥇 Jimmy: I'm a mardy prick, can't fake that I ain't all the time Janis: I'll survive Jimmy: I'll make it up to you Janis: don't need to Jimmy: but we both need Ian's stash more than him Janis: not gonna argue with that Jimmy: mutually beneficial, I heard you Janis: he can enjoy some sober family fun Janis: I'm not going to enjoy any party if I'm not at least a bit buzzed Jimmy: you can be pissed as 💀#2 were by round 2 of that game if you want, used to carrying you by now Janis: considering how much we've eat today Janis: literally impossible Jimmy: 💔 I can't accept that challenge 'cause I ain't no lightweight Jimmy: feels wrong turning one down Janis: what else is a party for Janis: be loads of others to 🥇 Jimmy: quick, give me one I can do now before I vanish 👻👋 Janis: 🤔🤔 hmm Janis: I don't know much about this ☕😍 life Janis: but how many non-dairy orders can you 🐄 up before any of 'em notice and complain Janis: trusting you not to bullshit, dickhead Jimmy: I swear on our kid's fake 🐕 Janis: hope the real one ain't savaged poor snow Janis: will be all your fault, obvs Jimmy: sounds like her, that Jimmy: and me getting the blame'd be about right an' all Jimmy: 🤞🤞 Janis: Poor baby Jimmy: you better mean me Janis: 'course I mean you Jimmy: know what you're like 🐕💕 Janis: didn't even buy myself one, firstly Janis: and secondly, you know you're 🥇 don't be jealous Jimmy: I'd have nicked you one but 👀 and 👂 already got our sticking a 🖍 behind his Jimmy: no need to turn 'em into baby Bonnie and Clyde Janis: thank god he's cute Janis: or it'd be baby borstal Janis: use the disability card and there's nothing he can't do 😎🖍 Jimmy: and then it'd be baby 👻 'cause he'd never hack that Janis: 🥺 Janis: got that from you and all Jimmy: how much bollocks were yours 🗨? Janis: I know you're gutted she got your number Janis: 👴 Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: is there owt you can do for our real 🐕 or what? Janis: Oh Janis: well, yeah Janis: that's the side hussle 'cos the rich cunts who cba to walk their own dogs also cba to train 'em, oddly enough Jimmy: it's too 💰💰💰 for us poor lads then Janis: not necessarily Janis: need the funds myself so we can do 💰 and a favour Jimmy: if you're 💭 mates rates he weren't 🗨 bollocks about how 😈🐕 it is Janis: it can't be worse than that thing was Janis: Killer ain't a funny nickname 'cos it was so 😇 Jimmy: might have to be a big favour, all I'm saying Janis: if you can't afford it Jimmy: made 2 🐄☕ with no 🤬 or 💩 already, be alright Janis: 🤞 Jimmy: 🤝? Janis: you don't want to hear what favour I might want? Janis: brave Janis: but a deal Jimmy: I ain't scared of giving you owt you might want, Jules Janis: Good Jimmy: 👍 Janis: be a really boring party otherwise Jimmy: can't have that Janis: would be gutted Janis: and I do owe you for all the kid time today Jimmy: #notallsantas Jimmy: you'll get no 💔 off me Janis: not what I want Janis: but I did miss being alone with you Janis: I know she's a lot Jimmy: she's alright Janis: she's just a kid Janis: she don't know no better Jimmy: 🥈 to 😎🖍 obvs but I rate her as kids go Janis: duh, that 💕🥇 is mutual Jimmy: he's got no mates here yet, it were a 🏆 day for him Janis: I'm glad Janis: she liked him too Janis: wouldn't shut up Jimmy: he's probs still going on to my sister an' all Janis: gonna owe her something now Janis: probably a bit better than a cuddly 🐕 Jimmy: she's done alright out of the 🐕🏃💰 she'll live Janis: she don't need to re-cripple me for the gig Janis: plenty of 🐕🏃💰 to go 'round, don't need to be 14 for that Jimmy: she'll be 💔 you don't wanna 🥊 but yeah Jimmy: she can't be arsed to do ours but I don't blame her when it's Ian's 💰 Janis: I don't make it a habit 👶🍭 Jimmy: brb gotta @ her that fighting 🗨 Janis: such a shit-stirrer Janis: it's alright, not tryna be your new step-mum, don't need to parent-trap me Jimmy: it's called making coffee when it's my 9-5, babe Janis: 😂 get him some chalk he's had an 💭💡 Jimmy: can do my 🐄☕ tally an' all Janis: make your least fave colleague clean the bogs today Jimmy: whoever the lad is you said you liked ✔ Janis: 😨 Jimmy: 😏 Janis: trying to turn everyone against me, I 👀 Janis: only going to have to make it up to him, think on Jimmy: not if I do first 😘 Janis: 🐍 Jimmy: bit of editing that's a 🍆📏 compliment Janis: UGH Janis: bastard Jimmy: 😂 Janis: you always go on about just the tip so Janis: can't confirm nor deny ladies 💁🙊 Jimmy: one way to get me to do nudes Janis: Eurgh, don't Janis: I'll hype you up in the tweets, fine Jimmy: go on then Janis: alright Janis: [least subtle posts ever 'cos a challenge] Jimmy: [cue a flirting via socials sesh because love that for you two always] Janis: [always a mood] Janis: so goals Jimmy: Where do you reckon 💀👑 is on the scale? Janis: 😠 Janis: but if she does come to this party Janis: 🤬 potential Jimmy: but you ain't factored in she can see my 😍 IRL Jimmy: have another go Janis: 😡 Janis: so festive of her Janis: #2 bringing the 🤢 Jimmy: proud of you Janis: Babe 😊😌 Janis: are they all there? Jimmy: yeah Janis: wow ✨ miracles never cease 🙄 Jimmy: 👀 🛍 about to go ask if there's owt for us Janis: real 🎅 right there Jimmy: gonna pretend I can't understand her answer Jimmy: if that other dickhead can get away with it Janis: 😏 Jimmy: Where's Libi when I need her? Janis: she could rinse them Jimmy: I'd dip into the tip jar to see it Janis: too bad she's probably having her tea right now Janis: downsides of being 4 Jimmy: can't promise her owt better off this menu Janis: sounds like too much excitement for one day Janis: my nan'll be fuming Jimmy: I'll be round to make it up to her in a bit 🦷🌹🦷 Janis: no tah, Romeo Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: you wanted an outfit, I'm out 👀 🛍 Jimmy: watch your 🦶 in the stampede Janis: it's mental Janis: 🥊 for the bargains Jimmy: do you a 🥊 alongside my 🐄☕ Jimmy: high scores over here Janis: you're on Jimmy: 🖋👂 til my next break Janis: cute Jimmy: Bill's 👻 on at me to write you a sonnet Janis: how many did he crack out? Janis: so many hoes Jimmy: I'd ask but he's flirting now Jimmy: never takes a break, him Janis: Oh Bill Janis: the slutty friend in this sitcom Jimmy: *romcom Janis: so soz Jimmy: 😘 Janis: can't believe how cliche this shit is and we're still getting new fans Jimmy: just that good Janis: thanks, I am Jimmy: said it before Jimmy: as a muse, you're 🥇 Janis: you're not so bad yourself Jimmy: I'll aim my �� at their table, tah for the MASSIVE compliment Janis: I could do better but Jimmy: ? Janis: maybe it'll make me 😳 Jimmy: you're in hell, there's your excuse Jimmy: *🥵 Janis: I already know what we're gonna do at this party and honestly, I would've come even if you didn't want me to Janis: 'til you you did Jimmy: will you come here? Janis: yes Jimmy: 🚫🏃 Janis: okay Janis: but now, yeah? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: One I want you to answer Jimmy: one you know the answer to Jimmy: 'course now Janis: 👍 Janis: hold on Jimmy: I don't care if they're still here, that's not why Janis: No? Jimmy: I'll still want you here when they've pissed off Janis: I know Janis: I wanna be there Janis: you know, with you Jimmy: I know it gets a bit Jimmy: what I mean and don't Jimmy: what's for them and what's for you Janis: headfuck Janis: but we both knew that Jimmy: yeah Janis: I can handle it Jimmy: I wouldn't have picked you if I didn't reckon you could Janis: not a total bastard Jimmy: just 🤏 Janis: I like it Jimmy: obvs, your type is 🎅 Janis: 💩heads? Janis: maybe Jimmy: works for me Janis: [show up gal] Jimmy: [have an epic makeout sesh in front of all these shoppers going past and the gals inside 👀🍿 through the huge windows] Janis: [you've earnt it] Jimmy: [and Mia always deserves to be fuming] Janis: [very true honey, we know you and Pablo is all but over now] Jimmy: [he won't have bought you any goals gifts, what are you gonna do buy them yourself and imply they are from him? awkward] Janis: [didn't come to your friendmas even though you told him to, he's not serving his purpose hen] Jimmy: [notp in every sense] Janis: [we been knew, bye gals, we aren't remotely thinking about you rn] Jimmy: [lowkey never are, you're a flimsy excuse at most huns] Janis: [one we don't need currently] Jimmy: [are you coming in when his break is over or are you off again gal?] Janis: [we're coming in 'cos he asked you to stay] Jimmy: [we'll make you food you actually wanna eat, it's been ages since breakfast] Janis: [just try and find somewhere to perch and chill] Jimmy: [we'll do you the favour of saying Mia made the gals storm past you mid makeout or whatever so you don't have to sit with them] Janis: [lmao imagine, bring your festive spirit down more than the kids chatting up a storm earlier lmao] Jimmy: [that's the last thing we need, he'd get in trouble by letting you sit in the staff area before he made you share their table lol] Janis: [should do that, you know his managers long gone for xmas lol] Jimmy: [honestly go ahead gal we haven't done any of the getting in trouble stuff yet so his record is spotless rn] Janis: [us 😈 lmao] Jimmy: 👍? Janis: 👍 Janis: like what you've done with the place Jimmy: it were a bit more 🎄 but some dickhead nicked loads of it Janis: shocking Janis: some people have no shame Jimmy: if you reckon that's bad, you'll never get your head round how some people spend their 🚬 breaks, Judith Jimmy: enough to make you 😳 Janis: The people with holes and ink all over their body have bad habits? 😱 Janis: will not hear of it Jimmy: SO pure 😇 Janis: you had a costume change of 💘? Jimmy: that one's gotta be yours, Tiny Tim, for seeing the good in everyone's 💘 Janis: cheers for not calling me a 🐷 anymore, I guess Jimmy: you're welcome 🐸 Janis: 😏 Janis: don't fancy eating flies though Jimmy: Dunno if I could keep faking 😍 for you and your new diet Janis: it is a big ask Janis: wonder if I can convince the gals it's the new thing though Jimmy: nowt more #goals than a lad who'll pick flies out of his 🦷🦷 for you Jimmy: they'll FINALLY know their 💕 is real Janis: Beautiful, truly Jimmy: I'll pass it on to Bill's 👻 Janis: bit rude that he's not solely focused on our story Jimmy: *I'll 👻🥊 Janis: hot Jimmy: that's the ☕ I'm 🤹 Janis: I couldn't actually work here Jimmy: I couldn't actually have you work here Janis: fight for the tips too real Janis: I get it Jimmy: that'll do for why Janis: go on Jimmy: what? Janis: give me the bulletpoints Jimmy: you're alright 🤓 Janis: tah, babe Jimmy: and I'm alright for not 🖋 you a naughty list Jimmy: which you know were what I meant Janis: you're 🤹 Janis: I know Janis: can't blame me for trying Jimmy: you heard me #notallsantas Jimmy: don't wanna watch you sleep either, tah Janis: I appreciate you saying that Janis: don't sound at all like you're gonna Jimmy: 👀 Janis: thank god the sleepover didn't happen Janis: you and 💀👑 meet over my corpse Jimmy: I'll sort a new one since you're 💔 Janis: with who? Jimmy: I'm just the 💪🏆 Jimmy: up to you, that Janis: 🎅👴😎☕ Janis: party Jimmy: and what, we all chuck our 🔑s in a bowl? Jimmy: or just pass you around Janis: UM Janis: how dare you, we do face masks and watch movies Jimmy: 🥱😴 Janis: 😱😱 BABES Janis: 😭 Jimmy: SOZ Janis: you are SO uninvited from the gangbang now Jimmy: 😭😭😭 Janis: it's me who's a 🍆 down Janis: you're so selfish Jimmy: if you've still got that 🪒 it's easily sorted Janis: bit rapey Janis: 😎☕ is basically an open invitation in this place Jimmy: no need to just castrate me with your 🗨 Jimmy: there's my consent Janis: you aren't bleeding out yet Janis: sorry Jimmy: I'll stop it with the steam wand Janis: ooh Janis: resourceful Jimmy: Oi, don't sound so surprised, dickhead Janis: I didn't expect you to have really considered castration that much, tbh Janis: but yes 💪🧠 Jimmy: never gonna unlock all my kinks with that attitude Janis: 😂 Janis: you're keeping the list 🔒 Jimmy: when you're ready for it, I'll give you the bulletpoints Janis: How am I not ready for it? Jimmy: you're here for a start Jimmy: what are we gonna do get a wet floor sign out and stick a 🧹 through the door handle? Janis: are we going to do that? Jimmy: that on your list? Janis: Well, it is now Jimmy: good, 'cause we ain't gonna have time to do more than the one ✔ before Doris is kicking off for her ☕ or invite Janis: She can wait Janis: I don't want to share you right now Jimmy: [showing up for 😈 antics because his manager ain't here and we don't care what our co-workers think] Janis: [live your best lives guys there is no reason not to] Jimmy: [Pete if you're here ILY and you would do the exact same with your gf so but fuck the rest of y'all truly] Janis: [maybe not exactly the same if you're a little less extra but yes, we aren't interested] Jimmy: [you're a bit older and chiller but you know] Janis: [soz you aren't living a romcom lmao god bless] Jimmy: [JJ out here doing the most and living their dreams from day 1] Janis: [we just skirting around our trauma and trying to live and be young and I love that for you] Jimmy: [literally imagine just having to go back to work like 👋 in a bit as if that didn't just happen I always die thinking about stuff like this] Janis: [lol your life, hence I think you should go back out shopping for a bit girl 'til he's ready to leave] Jimmy: [thank god you're both shameless because even though nobody would've heard anything with the christmas tunes and how busy it is, everyone totally knows] Janis: [y'all aren't subtle, enjoy the #bants and/or disgust from your coworkers Jimothy soz] Jimmy: [making friends everywhere he goes, you're welcome for the fact you're gonna get sacked from here because you're not leaving Dublin in a hot sec like you think you are] Janis: [you're all teens/young adults, y'all be getting messy in all the ways, don't judge lol] Jimmy: [mhmm and we know the kinda hipster peeps who be working there ain't it so shhh] Janis: that girl with the pink hair and neck tat gave me the biggest evils Jimmy: it's just her face Jimmy: 😒 part of our uniform Jimmy: and her hair's rose gold, very festive of her, get it right Janis: roots down to her eyebrows and all Janis: tell your girlfriend she's safe it's #fake Jimmy: oh Ashleeeee Jimmy: I'll tell her to get down the salon Janis: or stick a santa hat on Janis: problem solved if she covers her face with it too Jimmy: she'd probably make a better ☕ blind an' all Janis: you're 🥇 are you? Jimmy: you're asking questions you know the answer to again Janis: I don't drink it, I can't comment Jimmy: it weren't a #humblebrag she's a 🎄 temp, can't do fuck all but 😒 and gone before her roots'll reach her chin Janis: makes sense Janis: least you can blame the 🐄☕ on her Jimmy: except 💀👑 and co's, reckon they'll know that were me, if they ever know Janis: none of them are asking for no 🐄 'cos it makes them shit their brains out Janis: but that extra 1/8 lbs will give it away 😣 😖 😫 😩 🥺 😢 😭 😤 😠 😡 🤬 🤯 Jimmy: if it made 'em 💩 they'd ask for it, hoard the laxatives for another day, I get it Janis: True Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: soz if you find any 💩 in the changing rooms though, mate Jimmy: 🐄☕ well into double figures Janis: that's just any other day for Penney's Janis: but I'll sign your name if you like Jimmy: Tah Janis: gold sharpie Janis: make it festive Jimmy: just like that, going from muse to artist, you Janis: A ⭐ is born Janis: don't ruin it for me when I get my grammy and you're an alcoholic Jimmy: nowt fake about their 💕 Jimmy: if you don't go that hard for me when my missus, Ashlee is front row, you ain't having that oscar Janis: 😏 Janis: only to catch her 😒 on camera Jimmy: bollocks, in it for the 👏👏🌹👏 you Janis: you're just in it to be serenaded so don't @ me mate Jimmy: not denying it Janis: 😍 x1000 Jimmy: owt to give me a break from these fucking 🎄🎵 Janis: reckon the staff here have gone full zombie Janis: 💀 in the 👀 and 🧠 Jimmy: bit rude of you not to leave me for 💀💀💀 back there Jimmy: could be us rotting but you're playing 💔 Janis: Rosie was gonna passive-aggressively ask me to buy something or leave if I didn't Jimmy: taking orders from her'll do nowt for them gay rumours Jimmy: need a #LAD to tell you what to do, duh Jimmy: I'll give you a shout when I find one Janis: Shut up, s'why I left before she could say fuck all Janis: and how are there gonna be any gay rumours when the reason she's pissed off is 'cos she's jealous Jimmy: depends who she's jealous of Janis: if she's gay that's her problem Janis: but she's jealous of me, FYI Janis: take the compliment Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Jimmy: you're the 👏👏🌹👏 chaser Janis: 1. rude 2. bollocks Jimmy: 1. ain't much of a compliment if she fancies me 2. I'll have you know my head's genetically this big Janis: you know what you look like and you're well 😏 about it Janis: not saying you're wrong Jimmy: I know what she looks like an' all Janis: not like she's the only one 😍 is it Jimmy: my inbox is as full as yours Janis: yeah Jimmy: so you've got nowt to be jealous of Janis: I'm not jealous Jimmy: what then? Janis: I'm just saying she is Janis: fuck sake big head, don't get it twisted Jimmy: don't get a mard on Janis: I'm not, idiot Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Are you? Jimmy: ? Janis: in a mood? Jimmy: why would I be? Janis: I don't know Janis: why would I be, like Jimmy: 😒 ain't in your job description Janis: I'm not Janis: I only left so you could actually get some work done Janis: that's all Jimmy: alright Janis: don't actually care what your coworkers reckon but you do have to work with them Janis: least for a while longer Jimmy: I'll live Janis: it's about making shit easier Janis: not harder, yeah Jimmy: you did Jimmy: not saying I'm 😁👍 or nowt but Janis: not even a little? Janis: shit review, that Jimmy: you can have one of the dead eyed ones 😀 or 😃 Janis: I'd rather 😒 Jimmy: [a 😒 selfie like there you go ILY] Janis: tah Jimmy: I rate you, you know I do Janis: shh Jimmy: not gonna sing it but Janis: if we've got to be a romcom Janis: not being one with a musical number Jimmy: won't argue 🤐 Jimmy: #notallnortherners 🎭🩰🎤 Janis: you're warning me how embarrassing you're gonna be at this party Janis: I get it Jimmy: can't say you ain't been now Jimmy: #notalldaddys an' all Jimmy: dickhead dad if I'm owt Janis: however goals that may be Janis: I'd sooner grate my face off Jimmy: you always know EXACTLY what to say Jimmy: really fulfil my nursing kink, that will Janis: how great would you look if you stayed with me Janis: my only positive, gone Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: be even more mysterious to make up for losing how fit you are Janis: 😶😶😶 Janis: what is she thinking Jimmy: 🤯🤯🤯 Janis: do you if you like Janis: #muteandcute Jimmy: the couple who self harms together are obvs gonna stay together Janis: 💀💀 means forever 😃😃 Jimmy: long as it don't backfire when everyone reckons I've been cracking onto Asia's dad 💋 Janis: reunite 'em for the holidays Janis: ✨💕 Jimmy: you're really earning that 😇 costume for tonight Janis: you'll still steal the show, babe Jimmy: you ARE the show, babe 👀🍿🔪 Jimmy: Ashleeeeeee's got nowt on 💀👑 Jimmy: or my long lens Janis: 😂 Janis: dope Jimmy: promise not to do you like princess di, know you'd hate everyone going on about you for that long Janis: what good is 👏👏🌹👏 if I can't 👂 Janis: obvs Jimmy: 👻 perks Jimmy: get to be a right nosy dickhead forever Janis: suits you Janis: no 🧛 perks except the taste Jimmy: 🦷🦷 suit you Jimmy: what about 💪🏆🏃🥇? Janis: that's just me Jimmy: SUCH an athlete Jimmy: I've heard Janis: I'll show you if you ever stop fussing and nursing Jimmy: BUT 🥺 Janis: I know Janis: but I need a redemption arc Jimmy: nowt wrong with 😈 Janis: falling on my arse though Janis: 👎 Jimmy: 👍 for me Jimmy: but I get it, you wanna impress me Janis: if I wanted to impress you, I just would Janis: it's easy Jimmy: 🗨 is Janis: you'll 👀 Jimmy: *📷 Janis: if you can catch me Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: 💪 Jimmy: tah very much, compliment accepted an' all Janis: when you out? Jimmy: [a time which I hope isn't forever away because work sucks enough without your co-workers gossiping about your love life] Janis: 👍 Janis: might compliment you then Jimmy: you find a party? Janis: [a selection of, 'cos these teens are extra] Jimmy: we gonna #bless the one or do a tour? Janis: a tour is actually a good idea Janis: fuck it up Janis: go before it's really shit Jimmy: there you go again sounding 😱😱 that I've had a 🥇💡 Janis: like I'm meant to reckon every 💭 you have is golden Jimmy: glad we're on the same 📖 FINALLY Janis: 🙄 Janis: I'm on a whole new book, babes Jimmy: alright, give us a chance Jimmy: basically illiterate Janis: awh Janis: keep practising on those coffee cups hun Jimmy: good job I nicked our kid's 🖍 Janis: long as it weren't a swap Jimmy: @ nspcc Janis: you're alright Janis: this country is infamous for not giving a shit about kids Jimmy: that'll be why Ian brought us here Janis: if he tries to give you to some nuns, run Jimmy: into their arms #kinkunlocked Janis: sure that's another costume Janis: want an outfit change? Jimmy: not very festive though, is it? Jimmy: if I were the baby Jesus, that's one thing, but his groupies Janis: well you can't go as baby Jesus Janis: that's obscene Janis: and where am I getting a loincloth as this hour, thank you Jimmy: such a letdown, you Jimmy: seen you piss about and craft a 🐑 for fuck's sake, it's ALMOST like you DON'T WANT to make this happen for me Janis: it's almost like you're a complete exhibitionist Jimmy: Lucas would support me, knew I should've picked him Janis: no one's stopping you Jimmy: UGH and now you're not even gonna fight for me 😭😭 Janis: you'll come crawling back when he's trying to pick up more 12 year olds again Jimmy: less of a rom com more of a crimewatch reconstruction Janis: you, the clueless wife who had NO idea Janis: sure, Sharon Janis: turning a blind eye so you didn't have to fuck him Jimmy: chuffed he's pissing off out so I can watch telly without his loud breathing doing my head in Janis: You're an Emmerdale fan, definitely Janis: neighbours and home and away in the afternoons Jimmy: Doctors is my top pic though obvs Janis: your only friends are the characters in your stories Janis: sad, honestly Jimmy: Oi don't forget the 🐩 I'm starting to look like Jimmy: it hates me, obvs, so I get why you didn't 💭 Janis: it doesn't want you to baby it but it's all you wanted it for Jimmy: he won't put a 👶 in me and that's 💔 but OMG it's just like one of my fave plots #conflicted Janis: Sharon, you're barren Janis: you need to come to terms with it Jimmy: DUN DUN DUN Jimmy: but it's me doing my own piss poor drum roll Janis: 😂 meanwhile, casual serial killer b plot with your mans Jimmy: Sharon, you're having a mental breakdown Jimmy: this is a REAL doctor's office Janis: not you trying to seduce your fave doctor and it's actually your GP and he's gonna call the psych ward Jimmy: 🚨🚨🚨 Jimmy: your man is gonna pin his crimes on you, hun Janis: omg Janis: when the truth outs, you're gonna be fully gone Janis: maybe in a cheeky coma Jimmy: bit of amnesia so I reckon I did do it an' all Janis: oh god Janis: so like a woman Janis: just lethal inject me 'cos I'm a monster who can't even have kids Jimmy: Oh Sharon Janis: Lucas will keep getting away with it for 4 more seasons Janis: then your ghost will pop up and it'll all get sorted in an ep Jimmy: I'll work with the 👻s of his victims, grab a spin off out of it Janis: full circle, you watching your show from your armchair in your dark, depressing lounge Jimmy: 🎨 Janis: welcome for the A on your next art project Jimmy: IOU Janis: not bothered about credit Jimmy: alright, what do you want? Janis: 🤔 Jimmy: go on Janis: I need to think of an idea right now? Jimmy: 🚫⏲ Jimmy: just no need to hold back if you've already got one Janis: I'll take my time Janis: no point saying something now, thinking of something I want more later Jimmy: won't have you 🖋🩸 it's alright Jimmy: if you change your mind, just tell me that Janis: you're bad at business Jimmy: that'll be why I ain't the manager Janis: 💔 babe Janis: the free time you'd have 🤯🤯 Jimmy: could train my own 🐕 Janis: hey now Janis: that's my 💰 Jimmy: real 💔 Janis: in it for the 👏👏🌹👏💰💰 Jimmy: I got that Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: hush Janis: got outfits to buy and christmas tunes to hear for the 42nd time today Jimmy: I won't serenade you then Janis: if you can get a christmas 🥇 then I will 👰💍🤵 for the royalties Jimmy: alright, piss off I need to crack on with that and you've got a 👰💍🤵 to plan Janis: 👋😘 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: [party time] Jimmy: [obvs we just want them to have a nice time but have you got anything specific in mind?] Janis: [hmm, obvs the main party is tomorrow, so we can be more chill, but we can also make drama if we want 'cos yolo] Jimmy: [I was thinking at one of the parties they hit they should see Mia cheating again cos Pablo is on the outs and also she just would anyway] Jimmy: [but that could be today or tomorrow like] Janis: [we should do today 'cos you ain't the focus tomorrow remotely hun, and it's just fun] Jimmy: [agreed, the focus tomorrow is being festive af as always, as much fluff as I can clutch with my grabby hands] Janis: [so if anything, get drama that isn't them, aka flat whites etc out tonight] Jimmy: [love it because Mia would think she was being so sneaky but we see you hen] Janis: [merry christmas beech] Jimmy: [gather that blackmail lads, you'll want it when she gets him sacked by being a Karen] Janis: [yep thanks for not before xmas at least] Jimmy: [I'm sure she's wishing she could rn] Janis: [too bad you walked out in disgust lmao it got so much worse] Jimmy: [sucks to suck gals] Janis: [what drama can we do with y'all hmm] Jimmy: [unrelated but can we say they're drunk in love enough that he stays at mcvickers because Ian sucks and we don't need that in our lives] Janis: [yes, just know the Libi is gonna come in in the AM to wake you up and out you lol] Jimmy: [ngl LOVE that even if you two won't] Janis: [in my mind if she ain't snuck in Janis' bed before she's even home, she comes in well early as kids do so LOL] Jimmy: [he's used to that with Bobby cos that boy is always sleeping with him we know] Janis: [and I alluded to it in a previous convo so go us, anyway, yes, that can totally happen, it wouldn't be far if he had to run so makes sense] Jimmy: [it's beyond obvious that you both never wanna leave each other so] Janis: [let's not lie to ourselves lads except lowkey we do lol] Jimmy: [tbf this is the first time you've had a chance to get drunk together since fake dating started cos we didn't have enough booze on the school trip and unlike the flatwhites you aren't lightweights who got drunk during that friendmas game sesh] Janis: [hohohohohoh the potential] Jimmy: [evil laugh x 3 because Winnie is too] Janis: [let's hit up this first shit party, idk if she genuinely got you a costume to put on or what, Imma say yeah but idk if I have anything particularly festive for you so I'll have to look] Jimmy: [I hope she did, what's more festive than crossdressing] Janis: [get it boy, you'll look hot and no one can deny] Jimmy: [she should be an angel like in Hazel's book even if we can't document the lewk] Janis: [I'm sure I'll be able to find that content somehow] Jimmy: [I'm not even gonna try because I know I won't, Ezra Miller and Harry Styles can only do so much and I don't think they've been festive lol] Janis: [yeah, I'm trying to think of like a movie or something where it was a thing hmm] Janis: [oh, the try guys do it, maybe eugene?] Jimmy: [body shots have to happen at one of these shit parties because #mood] Janis: [very easily done with your lewks lol] Jimmy: [that's what I was thinking, just think of all the love bites there would actually be too though what a statement] Janis: [turns up to your function in no clothes, excuse me, y'all are already on one today, there will be no chill we know it] Jimmy: [tipsy before we get there as well tah Ian] Janis: [thank you for nothing but that dickhead] Jimmy: [and actually being there for once so he can stay at mcvickers and be a carefree teen] Janis: [I mean yes but you are those kids dad not jimothy so I will not applaud you] Jimmy: [doing the least and we hate you so much] Janis: [I think Mia should be at the first party and we can catch her whilst we're still a bit sober lol] Jimmy: [yeah definitely one of the earlier ones, it makes sense for that reason and because the parties would obvs start out more basic and get wilder as the night goes on cos most people aren't throwing a rager on christmas eve eve] Janis: [yeah, and if she's at some party that's trying to be sophisticated and lowkey and then they show up 1. LOL 2. she would be caught unawares] Jimmy: [ooh what if she's just gone out with Ella and not the others so it's double tea because that's not in the friendmas spirit] Janis: [I really imagined a date and I was like lovely haha, but totally a vibe, pretending they're busy if the other gals are at another party or whatever] Jimmy: [I might fuck around and give Jimothy an injury of some sort for christmas cos tis the season and Ian is 100% that bitch] Janis: [yeah, he is, a vibe, but not, so rude] Jimmy: [it's gonna have to be christmas eve or day cos they are going to Skerries for boxing day so note to self] Janis: [what if what if that's why she goes to see him xmas day, ultimate rudeness Ian] Jimmy: [yeah because we did say they must] Janis: [dunno where you're huffing off to ian but uninterested, we must] Jimmy: [and then it makes even more sense why they go to Skerries/don't try very hard to come back when they get snowed in, not desperate to spend time with you sir ] Janis: [it all makes sense, also remember the ice bath we can make you a snow pack] Jimmy: [so yeah after whatever they're doing christmas eve, remind me he's gotta go home alone so that can kick off] Jimmy: [also if people have been stupid enough to leave presents under their trees they should steal some] Janis: [noteddd, that's so grinchy and why you don't have xmas parties but with friends people, you deserve it lol, also if we wanna do some messaging, they could lose Mia and have to split up to find her rn, could be amusing] Jimmy: [not all the gifts thank you lads but at least one from every party that it's an option as a memento, ooh good idea boo] Janis: report back, scooby Janis: I'm in the bogs, no sign 😱 Jimmy: leave your 🐕 fetish out of it and concentrate Jimmy: she ain't outside ⛄ Janis: alright, you wanna be daphne Janis: full bimbo now Jimmy: piss off do I wanna be a ginger Jimmy: have a word with yourself Janis: omg VELMA 🤓 Jimmy: how am I not Fred dressed like this? Janis: he was so fashionable Janis: I wanna be Fred though so fuck you Jimmy: UGH fine Jimmy: I know you're 🤓 and I'm him but crack on lying to yourself Janis: that's rude Janis: don't make me your #2 Jimmy: if the glasses fit, girl Janis: 😡 Janis: i'm going kitchen Janis: it's a long shot but i'm getting drink for me and none for you Jimmy: smash some glasses and plates, you'll calm down Jimmy: or you know, make me a 🥪 Janis: knuckle sandwich Jimmy: 😍😍 Janis: so distracting Jimmy: you Janis: nah Janis: we're on a mission focus your 😍😍 Jimmy: [sending her pics of #bants things like I've found her, oh no wait] Janis: [have a lil game, nerds] Jimmy: [obvs you're gonna have to find her eventually I doubt there's that many places she could be so be silly while you can] Janis: Jim I've found her Janis: omg Janis: come here Jimmy: [does even though he's expecting a pisstake] Janis: [hopefully this house isn't that big because you did not tell him anything there lmao, also be quiet or she'll see and you'll ruin it] Jimmy: [she said she was heading to the kitchen so likewise and we'll cross paths lol] Jimmy: 😱😱😱 Janis: [you're so conspicuous rn god bless, but keep an eye on her best you can until you can get dirt] Janis: be 😎 nerd Jimmy: keep your head down 🦒 Janis: i'd say make me but you'll just be 😍😍 Jimmy: [a LOOK that's meant to be pisstakey like what am I like but it's just shamelessly a LOOK lol] Janis: [you know when bitches always kiss in movies when they need to hide, doing that, as if there is a need okay] Jimmy: [love that for you] Janis: [oh the tropes, at least you won't seem arsed by Mia remotely so she'll let her guard down lol] Jimmy: [we're just a lad getting covered in silver, you can relax Mia] Jimmy: [will style that into a 🎅 beard because he's an art hoe] Janis: [what a lewk you two can share] Jimmy: [doing a semi decent job of lip reading Mia even though he's not deaf and whispering to her what he's worked out, doesn't technically need to whisper but the excuse is we're being inconspicuous] Janis: [doing the most to pretend he's being scandalous in ya ear but we listening for real obvs and making our 😳🤤 responses make sense 'do you think there's a free room going?' like do you reckon we'll catch her at it, again] Jimmy: [telling her about all the places he found that you could fuck when he was searching for her, which is lowkey suggestive af boy especially because Mia isn't as shameless as you pair and wouldn't hook up in some of these places] Janis: [telling him which you wanna do first but it's actually where you reckon she might if she's gonna] Jimmy: [agreeing because you agree that it's likely and you're on the same page here] Janis: 🕡 Jimmy: *⏲ Janis: same diff Janis: can't lose 👀 on her Janis: what do we do to kill time without being too distracted Jimmy: 🍻? Janis: [goes to get drink like okay] Jimmy: [is 👀ing you Mia] Janis: gonna suggest this to the gals next time I see em Jimmy: they already follow her about Janis: clealy ain't as good at it as us Janis: but no Janis: the face paint Janis: if you kissed anyone else i'd know instantly Jimmy: bit rude to call me a slag for how I'm dressed but Janis: is it though Jimmy: I just happen to be a slag, alright? Jimmy: nowt to do with any of this Jimmy: [gestures to the lewk] Janis: [looks at him for ages like we forgot what we're doing] Janis: alright Jimmy: are you? Jimmy: [😏 af] Janis: [🖕 which can at least look bantsy to the fans] Jimmy: [a lol soz if that's not inconspicuous hun but the bae is funny] Janis: [bring him a drink back, after taking a massive swig from his like ha ha] Jimmy: [taking pics of her because an angel being 😈] Jimmy: [likewise have forgotten what we're supposed to be doing here for a sec] Janis: [casual photoshoot, be a shame to waste your outfits] Jimmy: [Mia's got no game lbr, you've got time] Janis: [god knows the state of this lad by the time she's ready lol] Jimmy: [another good reason it's an earlier party don't be having a Buster and Chloe rapey situation Mia] Janis: [at least you truly would be as gone, that's the vibe not that] Jimmy: [if your father could see you now hun] Janis: [#disappointeddaddy] Jimmy: [I wish they could call him like come get your daughter but we need this hook up to happen first] Janis: [they should genuinely then bounce though lmao she would actually be so fuming] Jimmy: [don't do it yourself though Jimothy the accent is a dead giveaway, get the bae on it] Janis: [seriously, do some voice work hen, at least a party helps that he'll barely be able to hear, use the house phone] Jimmy: [merry christmas bitch, enjoy the trouble you'll be in] Janis: [hohaha, ANYWAYS, we know you can't stop looking at him gal, how you manage this at all is lowkey impressive lol] Jimmy: [when you get to the second party/on the way there haha you can be as extra as you want, that mission is done and dusted] Janis: [we're so buzzing with ourselves at the prospect of ruining her xmas, practically skip there lmao] Jimmy: [don't you twist you ankle boy as hilarious as that would be] Janis: [we can't have more injuries, and you'd make a right mess of yourself if you fell, it's freezing and you've got no clothes on lol] Jimmy: [yeah that's not festive or goals so be careful please] Janis: [what do we wanna do at this next party then] Jimmy: [just have a nice time tbh lads] Janis: [just partay] Jimmy: [do them body shots and other drinking games cos we're having a messy one and we're competitive af] Janis: [get crunkalunk honey, we can skip to when he's left in the AM now if we wanna] Janis: [after Libi has come in and is like WHERE'S BOBBY as if they also have him tucked up in the bed] Jimmy: [unless there's anything that gets said or done when they're drunk af that we need to know, we know the vibes] Jimmy: [Oh Libi I love you so much but they should facetime him on Cass' phone cos she'll be THRILLED cos you know he's sleeping there and nobody sleeps in that house except Ian] Janis: [ooh, good point actually, we'll do that] Janis: [but yes, poor Jimothy like come sign bitch we gotta talk about santa] Jimmy: [god bless, when you just wanna sleep and snuggle your bae but you got so many jobs] Janis: [being like YOU GOT YOUR COOKIES YOU GOT YOUR MILK AND CARROTS like a checklist 'cos I remember how exciting xmas eve was you were lowkey hysterical all day] Jimmy: [plotting how you're gonna stay awake and peep Santa with those gifts] Janis: [just looking at Jimmy like you ain't gonna get no sleep lol] Jimmy: [mouthing at her to kill you away from the lip reading expert's gaze cos you can't do a dramatic death scene rn the kids are chatting a mile a minute] Janis: [pew pew at his head, also mcvickers gonna be fuming lad] Jimmy: [at least you can leave without having to see them cos that staircase] Janis: [chase you away lmao] Jimmy: [hold in the wee that you clearly will need, your house isn't far] Janis: [run boy run, but we'll throw it back to the end of your partying now] Jimmy: [we should start it as a 🚬 break because that's always good for feels and closeness when it's cold and you're half naked even if we're drunk enough not to feel it] Janis: [just drunkenly telling him about crayon colours we looked up lol] Jimmy: [guessing the colours based on their weird names unless it's obvs and then we're just pisstaking] Janis: [there's some wild ones hun, we're probably making up loads too] Jimmy: [likewise but writing them on her so she has to try and work it out when we could just say it] Janis: [we know where this is devolving and fast, wherever you are not being suitable so you're like hmpf] Jimmy: [on some random person's garden furniture that they should've brought in for the winter but have not] Janis: [you're both gonna start shivering before long so walk in the direction of the houses tah] Jimmy: [handholding and doing the little swinging thing because you've been spending all this time with the bubs] Janis: [loling at him] Jimmy: [playfully nudge her like excuse you but don't push her over because of that drunk and slippy combo please] Janis: ['you're such a nerd, you know'] Jimmy: ['Piss off' but the tone is less fuck off and more yeah I know but so are you] Janis: ['fine' and goes to walk off but likewise is joking so doesn't really] Jimmy: [nevertheless pulling her back and close into you as if she's really going because don't] Janis: ['you want me to stay?' even though you know 'cos how close you are rn] Jimmy: ['don't you want to?' even though she clearly do] Janis: [thinking he's making a point about asking stupid questions like 😏 fine] Jimmy: [just softly touching that 😏 face looking at her like no tell me you want to because we're drunk enough to have been genuinely asking and wanting an answer] Janis: ['I just want you to tell me' shrugs 'no confusion'] Jimmy: ['I just want you' because true] Janis: ['go on then' like it's a challenge but you say it so soft so like it's not] Jimmy: [the most intense kiss ever not even because it's a challenge but because the emotions are just that high okay] Janis: [no time to even talk just taking him by the hand back to yours aka mcvickers not all that way lol] Jimmy: [for a million reasons I hope whatever house you were at isn't far from there but the main one being all the kissing pauses there will be along the way regardless because that's the mood we're in] Janis: [we ain't even gon make it home energy] Jimmy: [100% support that always] Janis: [but you do, and frankly, I don't condone ladder climbing in this state so like be quiet and go in the real way] Jimmy: [that'll be a #mood in itself so] Janis: [getting him out of that santa outfit folornly like you are devvo lol] Jimmy: [gal if you're doing a pouty lip in any way you know what's gonna happen] Janis: [but of course 'why don't you care what people think?' once you can get words out again] Jimmy: ['I care what you think' because we're drunk so we can answer a question and answer it honestly] Janis: ['really?' and a confusion face] Jimmy: [😍 af about her cute expression so we lowkey forget about the question] Janis: [nudge] Jimmy: [a look like ?] Janis: ['why do you care?'] Jimmy: ['about you?' when you were only talking about what she thinks but we're drunk and we've gone deeper with it] Janis: [nods like sure, as you brought it up] Jimmy: ['it's less shit being here 'cause of you, if nowt else you should have the same back off me'] Janis: [when you can't help smile at that 'I don't want you to leave Dublin'] Jimmy: ['I'll stay' like it's that simple remotely but it is when you're drunk af] Janis: ['but you hate it here' and a look like same, obvs] Jimmy: ['I hate it everywhere' because again true] Janis: ['me too' not even trying to be banty like literally yeah same] Jimmy: [a little snugg because we don't want the bae to be sad] Janis: [snugging and sighing 'this is so weird'] Jimmy: [an even bigger sigh because it is and you don't want it to be and just saying sorry in the quietest softest voice like did you even actually say that or no] Janis: [at least it's that quiet 'cos you're meant to be that you would hear and you're shaking your head like no no 'not now, specifically or...it's not your fault, you know' 'cos you mean this whole situation for you 'cos you've never and you're like how did this happen so fast and when did we get here] Jimmy: [a shrug because he thinks everything is his fault always thanks Ian so it's like I don't know/believe that actually but we also don't think the bae is full of shit like we think a lot of people are so it's a confusing and conflicting tangle of thoughts up in here as well cos likewise has also never felt like this or expected any of this when he suggested it lol] Janis: ['I mean it' and properly looking at him but not really driving the point home harder than that right now/yet 'it's okay though, isn't it?'] Jimmy: [a nod that encompasses all the things 'are you?' cos if she's okay that's all that matters bye] Janis: ['is it a dealbreaker?' trying to make light of the fact it's like not really no] Jimmy: ['only if you're breaking our deal' like it's not okay if you don't wanna do this anymore even though it's a headfuck because ILY and I will die] Janis: ['I don't want to'] Jimmy: ['what do you want?' as if we don't know sir] Janis: [poke him in the chest] Jimmy: [just resting his hand over hers like okay I accept that and will turn it into a soft gesture] Janis: [when that lowkey says so much about the dynamic and we can't handle it 'let's just-' and kissing him] Jimmy: [kissing will always be easier so I'll allow it kids] Janis: [do that and more 'til you pass out probably 'cos honestly] Jimmy: [gonna let you say her name during at least once if you want boy because we're both not remembering this and we know it'll hit different sober anyway] Janis: [andioop soz you're trashed huns] Jimmy: [but not because it gives us freedom to do things y'all ain't ready for yet] Jimmy: [but soz that Libi will be waking you up early af]

[punkscowardschampions]

Indie & Rio

Indie: can we chat? Rio: 'Course we can Indie: you still mad tho? Rio: No Rio: Serious Indie: me either Indie: my heart b heavy but not w that Rio: What's wrong, babe? Indie: all things Indie: its bad here Rio: How bad? Indie: dred like i dont wanna drag you back in but i cant cope w it Rio: Don't worry about me Rio: I'll have to sort some stuff here but how soon do you need me back Rio: and what can I do 'til then, like Indie: let me be w you i wont 2s mckenna or no thing Indie: but i gotta be out Indie: theres too many fucking situations Rio: alright Rio: of course Rio: i'll sort the uber now, where am I sending it Rio: is it the things i know or has something else, or multiple something else's happened? Indie: [sends random ass location because honestly where the fuck she wanna be rn] Indie: theres more and worse Indie: how you want it? Rio: First tell me you're safe Rio: then tell me however's easiest for you Indie: I'm proper high rn are they gonna let me come to london? Rio: Yeah, obviously don't bring anything but if it's gone it's gone Rio: You'll be fine Indie: safe Indie: i got none left to bring Indie: it been like that Rio: Damn Rio: Say no more, but do Indie: i get why my ma werent trying to do nothing but this Indie: cept its there still when you come thru Rio: That's the problem Indie: cant keep it goin innit cant keep no thing goin Indie: cant keep drew from wildin acting like a younger bringin feds to my door and my boy on my back cos hes fave target Indie: neither chatting to me like i done this Indie: did i? idk Rio: Nah, you didn't Rio: I can't even expand on it because just no, how could it be you Indie: thats how the boy treating me like i livin for the drama Indie: but the feds want drew in the pen & thats how he want it cos theres nothing left for him to fuck up in these ends Indie: i cant stop it none Rio: That ain't you though Rio: and who would be about this shit, it's the worst Rio: As for Drew Rio: I'm sorry Rio: We've been here before, there's no talking to him when he's in that space Rio: and that isn't on you Indie: every day we on this he be spitting angry at me throwing shit around but acting like im the one creating Indie: its too hard Indie: and yeah then theres drew back on his bullshit Indie: w the only apology yours to hold cos he aint offering Indie: i want him gone & i put that out into the universe so mayb i did it Indie: this is proper gone tho & that baby gonna be born soon Rio: Oh babe Rio: He don't know you like that, he shouldn't be treating you like that, standard Rio: even if you were the biggest drama queen in the world but you ain't and he got you so fucked up on that Rio: Nah, he's doing it all himself, even if you thought you wanted it or still do if not this way Rio: you can't make him do the dirt he do, or make him not Rio: The baby will be good, it'll have it's Ma and Bea is staying with her still and everyone else, you know it'll be okay Rio: what about you though baby Indie: how i let him chat to me that way? who am i rn? wtf Indie: i just want our yard back and you back and things to be what they were Indie: but its not Indie: cos even if we there what kinda ma she trying to be for real? im spinning out but like where in the universe is she @ Indie: & none of this is gonna hurt you most Indie: thats the last thing i aint chatted Rio: We've all put up with shit we shouldn't have Rio: 'cos we thought it'd pay off Rio: You ain't alone in that, nor does it make you less you even if it makes you feel less altogether Rio: I can try to talk to Drew, about the flat, idk if I can make that happen but if he goes jail he loses his lease, he only kept it in the past 'cos his boss' would pay it if he dealt inside, like but he ain't got the clout he used to have Rio: accept it or nah, no doubt we could chat about me taking it on if it comes to that but i ain't making promises Rio: I know but, you gotta trust we will all be there for damage control Rio: we're all alright ish, yeah? Rio: Go ahead, babe, I can handle it Indie: i got caught up cos i wanted someone to be for me & about me one time & everyone else has somewhere to lean Indie: you and mckenna being goals in my face Indie: everything else was a mess but i just added Indie: and now she has Indie: cos what i gotta tell you is bills told me edie be gone Indie: hardcore packed up and run out Rio: i know there's nothing i can say to make you feel less shit about it but i swear to you babe, we've all been there Rio: you know i have Rio: it doesn't make it better for you but it ain't your fuckup, it's one we all go through to grow through, yeah? no bullshit Rio: she did talk to buster but Rio: i didn't think it'd be anything more than normal Rio: i'll tell ma Indie: i reckoned bills was gonna cry she was carrying that much worry Indie: i aint no what to tell her Rio: I'll talk to her too Rio: I don't know what I'll say but Rio: it'll be alright, we can sort this Indie: i been swerving dem all hard as you Indie: more than she got detention for how hard she was trying to hit me up she said Indie: doing everyone the dirtiest ever why i gotta leave Rio: I can't blame you Rio: This shit is hard Rio: and painful Rio: I'm sorry I left you alone Indie: he aint try and fuck me i got no excuses Indie: [sends selfie] am I 😢 I can't feel it so what you seeing? Indie: not trying to be out here in the wild 💔😭 Rio: Baby calm down okay, you're good Rio: Your flight is booked and the uber is en-route Rio: I sent all your deets to you, all you gotta do is get here Rio: we're gonna sort all this okay and the shit we can't we gonna make bearable at least Indie: i dont have anything tho cant b living in mckennas garms after the last Indie: he gon b mad enough im rolling up likely Rio: No he won't Rio: I got plenty of shit you can borrow don't stress on that Rio: Nance has got a mental wardrobe here too Indie: o yeah other mckenna Indie: always sleeping on her living there too Indie: she aint but she do Rio: Exactly, I've had to borrow her bed loads of times before and you know they living that en-suite life Rio: you can stay for as long as you need Indie: innit what school gon do put drew in prison? 😂 Rio: Tbh Rio: In the grand scheme of things, that doesn't matter rn, soz teachers Indie: ill screenshot them words like my ma says Rio: I missed you Indie: safe cos imma be in your face soon Rio: wish it was under better circumstances, like Rio: but we'll get there Indie: @ the age to have a breakdown once a wk soz bout it 😂 Rio: that i can handle Rio: nothing that a pint of ben & jerry's and some chill time can't Indie: warn mckenna to lock up his squad & we all good Rio: 😏 Will do Rio: he's not really rolling with them rn so temptation should be outta the way Indie: 😍💍 be like Indie: i feel it Rio: Erm I ain't that hoe 😣😂 Indie: theres how you say & how you do bitch 😏💘😂 Indie: 👀 you from the front row in a few Rio: 🙄😔 am I really that bad Indie: nah nah Indie: mckenna be amp as Indie: its a good link Rio: Yeah but I mean Rio: do you feel like I've been ignoring you Rio: pre you know, that bullshit Indie: allow it babe Indie: you never done nobody that way Rio: Promise Rio: 'cos that ever what I was trying to be Indie: you always on the clock & your game Indie: trust Rio: Alright, 'nuff about me Rio: is there anything else you need, either now or for when you get here? Indie: gon need to grab my shit while 👻ing this boy Indie: standard juggle Indie: if hes been holding that long & not dashed it out ill break in Rio: You're gonna take some mates with you, yeah? Indie: bitch please i dont need the lads knoing my business that hard Rio: is it a good idea tho, even if he got his own van u kno they all got each other's backs, like Rio: be careful, all i'm saying Indie: they aint gonna call the feds on me man Indie: ill leave it til im back need a clearer head than this for a lock pick Rio: Yeah, don't worry 'bout it now Rio: anything replaceable we can sort now Indie: im not tryin to lose my head over things rn Indie: if imma be in london i got what i need Rio: That's the main thing Rio: and I ain't gonna come at you with 20 questions either, like Rio: space can include from me, just lemme know what you're feeling Indie: i been had enough space from you girl Indie: i miss you Rio: was hoping you'd say that Indie: i love you more than Indie: thats the mood Rio: i love you too Rio: no outs Indie: dont lets lose each other again Indie: 💖💖 Rio: never 🧡 Indie: how long this uber tryna be im 😫😫😫 Indie: imma b sleepin on this wall like i kicking it nursery rhyme vibes Rio: it's saying it's nearly there on the app Rio: if you gonna crash at the airport make sure you near the gate tho Indie: safe Indie: o sick idea Indie: the plane not trying to be up long enough for that shit tho innit Rio: legit its as quick as the bus into town like Rio: be here in no time Indie: its a madness Rio: yeah, see, it's not that far really Indie: feels like Indie: but mayb thats just how i want it so i can 👻 this town harder than afore Rio: it's far enough for that Rio: ain't letting drew out the country are they Indie: 😂😂😂 Indie: not less they start deporting crooks old school like when 🐨 country just one big pen Rio: He wishes Rio: always got his top off like we living that life here Indie: fr like he needs a tan to appear more peng nah nah Rio: if we wanna get a new wifey Rio: least if she out there we unlikely to be related to her so go off Indie: true true Indie: unless he tryna head to spain for my nan we all good Rio: 😬 Rio: yikes, not a mental image we need Indie: idk i hear she keeps things tight & fresh Indie: hes done worse Rio: Stop 😩 Rio: 'less you gonna bring me one of them sick bags Indie: get you a straw donkey when he drag me out there for the 💒 Indie: i got you Rio: when u don't wanna be nan but u down to be ma Indie: least she too old to put a 👶 in Indie: & it aint like being down to be ma is top of his list for how he want his wifeys Indie: that ones just for you like Indie: ro not trying to mother me no mind the one she growing rn Rio: Fair Rio: Willing to put up with his shit and mother him is clearly more vital Rio: 'low it with the mommy issues like he's the only one going without Rio: twat Indie: o snap Indie: just cos yours aint want you boy dont mean you gotta kill mine tho Rio: o snapped too soon Rio: but he ain't get snapped on enough for that Indie: when he offering you dem same goodies ☠ Indie: thanks dad Indie: you a real one Rio: waste Rio: he's so fucked Indie: i was 👍 Indie: down & out Indie: what that make me? Rio: you a kid Rio: not chatting down to you, but you allowed to be is what I mean Rio: he's grown and he caused your shit, he should know and do better so you could Rio: literally his job Indie: idc now if he show up for astrid thatd do man Indie: grown past him still Rio: Yeah Rio: we'll have to wait n see if he can be arsed to prove himself Rio: idk if he's been allowed near since you know Indie: not from what ive 👂 Indie: coulda changed since he stopped chatting at me tho Indie: or he coulda just been chattin it so it dont look his fault he swervin Rio: wouldn't blame them from keeping him away rn, your hormones are fucked and she's never had much sense when it came to him Rio: but i don't know if it's a forever deal or what Indie: i can see her lawin it cos he burned her so hard w this Indie: proper owned Indie: she aint tryin to let you come thru & you fam so Rio: well you know Indie: cant call her out that hard when it aint that different from how my ma tryin to be when Indie: they all 🤡 for him Rio: yeah Rio: i don't get it Rio: whatever, he's good looking Indie: so your da he aint a wasteman w it Rio: it's easier to be treated like shit sometimes though than accept the love init Indie: call out 🔫 at me bitch Rio: not what i was going for Rio: just saying he ain't special with it, we all do it Indie: 👀 you Rio: 😏 shh Indie: 😂 Rio: neway Rio: he's out, yeah? Indie: innit Rio: 👍 Indie: how you livin Indie: gimme dat 411 Rio: yeah good tbh, the place where i work is cool Rio: i'm just doing promo stuff 'cos i don't wanna get too into anything obvs but it's fun, not dry like the angel was getting Indie: sick! they gonna let me in or ⛔ Rio: see what i can do Rio: sure we get u made up no one gonna be too amp Indie: dont 🤡 me Indie: keep it 💋 Rio: oi don't be doubting my skillz Rio: you ever seen me out like that 😂 rude Indie: doubtin my ability to carry all that Indie: you ever seen me in 👠 bitch Rio: you don't need 'em when you out with me Rio: only just be touching your height in mine so Indie: 😂😂😂 Rio: 😣 be looking stupid short 'round here Indie: you will stand w mckenna Rio: what i'm sayin Indie: 😍 gotta travel far 💖💖 baby Indie: good thing he extra too Rio: 😂 Indie: hows the love Rio: I don't wanna be extra about it at you Rio: but it is good Rio: and no one totally flipped shit on it so Indie: im not that 💔💔💔 you cant speak on it Indie: boy dont get to do me dirty and keep me pining long Rio: That's my girl Rio: 💪 Indie: throw shit @ me again he gon catch these hands Rio: serious, what a cunt Rio: he ain't gonna have the chance Indie: do me a solid & dont tell the fam yeah? your ma only just calmin after wanting to merk drew Rio: 'course Rio: you got it handled Rio: they don't need to know every little thing Indie: i did nearly run there the other thinkin i was gonna be baby'd up same time as my step ma near Indie: but nah 🍀 Rio: remind me to take you drs yeah Rio: 😰 Indie: its chill i not letting any lads near me in the 24 or out of Rio: still, with your memory, i don't think the pill is the one we'll get you the implant maybe Rio: or the coil, they last time Indie: sexy Indie: he was wrapped but it got fucked up idk was wild Indie: get them posho london drs to sort me 😂😂😂 Rio: nah you wanna be the one in control of that shit babe trust Indie: 👑👑👑 Indie: i feel that Rio: boys be mad dumb that shit could be old or ripped there's no telling Indie: fr 😒😒🙄🙄 Indie: he only got a year on me too idc how many girls he tryna chat he been w he dont kno that much Rio: You can defs take off at least 20% of whatever he chatting Rio: Trust Indie: serious? Rio: Probably Rio: or think about how many of them were like Rio: 5 minute fumbles at parties and shit Rio: doesn't really do much for your game even if its a numbers booster Indie: tell me mckennas i wont say shit to him swear down Rio: 😂 i would but idk Rio: i ain't asked Indie: girl WHAT Indie: bitch imma do it for you Indie: we taking off like 90% for him 'cause how he like to chat or nah? Indie: 😂😂😂😂 Rio: I can imagine like, I don't need confirmation Rio: Poor baby 😂 Indie: do he kno your numbers? Rio: Nope Rio: 'less he tryna keep track like that which I doubt lmao Indie: its jam we can keep em on 🔒 Rio: Idc I'd tell you Rio: but he ain't wanna know trust Indie: boy too jel Indie: how they all be Rio: you know Indie: drew be tellin me how to do w my body like he something to me so we can let mckenna stand Rio: yeah that's a whole nother thing Rio: that ain't cute or wanted Indie: he aint 😂😂😂 Rio: truth hurts 😂 Indie: innit tho Rio: ur uber says its there so pull up Indie: i be waving to someone Indie: gotta b Rio: kinda excited even though it's cos everything is shit Indie: it me you gotta be hype 💖💖💖 Rio: That's alright then 😘 Indie: what mckenna say bout it? Rio: He's cool, gonna talk to his Dad so we don't have to Rio: getting food too to show he can, like Indie: trying to flex o boy Rio: ever since you dissed him Rio: gotta get good Indie: he need be told 👌 Indie: bring 🍔 🍕🍟 any of Indie: it aint hard if you smart Rio: idk if he taking orders but i'll let him know 😏 Indie: hit him w a screenshot and add 🥊 or 💪 Indie: 💍💍💍 life be like Rio: You have no idea babe Rio: getting it from both of yous again now 😜 Indie: is it? he wearin the 👖 thats how you 😍😍 Indie: i been knew Indie: 💘💘💘 Rio: Shut up 😩 Rio: That just how it be in the bedroom don't get it twisted Indie: 😏😏 when he such a daddy you let him wear the 👑 out 😏😏😏 Rio: yeah you lucky you still a flight away Rio: 🥊 'fore 💋 forreal Indie: 😂😂😂😂

[punkscowardschampions]

Indie & Rio

Indie: where you at? Indie: you gotta chat at me Rio: I went down Skerries Rio: I can come back, if you want or Rio: are you okay Indie: w mckenna or are you kicking it 💸💸? Rio: No, with Buster Rio: I just had to get away, you know, give everyone air Indie: its a mood Rio: Yeah, not what I wanted or planned but you know Rio: Where'd you go? Rio: At the shower, I mean Indie: I hit my boy up Indie: felt it you kno Rio: Ah, right Rio: Don't blame you Indie: something in the water innit Rio: Don't Rio: What's he said, then Indie: you kno how hes flexing w it Indie: dont make me chat it back Rio: I can imagine how he's selling it Rio: do you believe him though? Indie: is it? you gotta ask me that Indie: thats how it be now Rio: Inds, I just want to know what I've got to put right with you so I can Rio: I don't care about him, just you Indie: you reckon imma roll with any of his shots on any day Indie: hes chief and he always been it Indie: dont fucking play me that way Indie: what you did is you left me w him Rio: I didn't know where you were Rio: and I couldn't stay Indie: not bothered Indie: where you expect him to try and be? hes not gonna still lay out at hers Rio: Exactly Rio: So I can't be there now Rio: I didn't expect any of this, I didn't think he'd do anything like this, Jesus Indie: it's chill for you w mckenna primed to jet you to skerries Indie: i dont get to leave this drum Indie: his now Rio: Go Home Rio: they'd rather have you there than with him Indie: yeah cos i can show my face Rio: Of course you can Rio: you've not done anything wrong Indie: it looks exactly like his Indie: how are they trying to see that rn Indie: how are you fit to either Rio: So does Edie Rio: and they want her home too Rio: you aren't him Indie: nah Indie: shes got your ma in her Indie: and shes blood Rio: When has that ever mattered to us? Indie: hes made it like it aint before Indie: us v you Rio: Nah Rio: he hasn't got that influence Indie: i cant be around it Indie: none of Rio: Alright but can you be around him? Rio: What are you gonna do Indie: ive got places Indie: if you get to run i get to run Rio: I told you Rio: I'll come back Indie: to what and to where bitch Indie: we aint got a yard of our own anymore Rio: Just please go home Indie: im going where i feel love Indie: still Rio: Don't do them like that Rio: that's bullshit Indie: don't come for me Indie: you aint there Indie: if you feel it so hard you take it Rio: Like I said Rio: you didn't do anything wrong Indie: and you aint Indie: whatever he spits Rio: We both know it ain't that cut and dry Indie: whats bullshit now Indie: ive been front row Indie: 👀 & 👂 Indie: you cant chat that to me Rio: Yeah, you have, and so has he Rio: not an excuse but clearly fucked with him Indie: allow it Indie: hes been trying to get on you since he dashed ryan out Indie: fucked with you since then least Indie: it aint no new dream Rio: Yeah and I've been hoeing since when Indie: dont give him no licence to slip Indie: hes known you since younger than Rio: I've always been like this Indie: what you feeding me his lines for Rio: He's not entirely full of shit Indie: dash that Indie: youre spinning me out Indie: come back when youre you Indie: not his rinsed hoe that cant relate Indie: if youre gonna buy in you shouldve just rode him Rio: Fuck off Indie: youre his mouth piece rn Indie: word by word Rio: I don't have all the answers, alright Rio: I'm sorry but that's the truth Indie: nah Indie: the truth is you reckon hes right Indie: i live in that madness Indie: that means him or you if thats how youre trying to be Indie: *cant Rio: I'm not saying his actions were Rio: He still shouldn't have Indie: what youre saying tho is dred enough Indie: you think you can come through and raise me w that outlook nah bitch Indie: i already got one ma who let him run her Rio: What do you want me to say? Rio: I'm fucked, Indie, that's all there is to it Indie: what do you want me to say Indie: gone is gone Indie: she is and you are Indie: same reason Rio: Don't be like that Rio: I'm not dead Indie: dead to me if youre gonna let him say what he is and not fight back Rio: If that's how you feel Rio: then I can't change your mind on that Indie: how are you still rolling Indie: taking this Indie: what more he gotta do Rio: It's over now, it's done Indie: its not done Indie: he wants me to live with him Indie: pass you over Indie: he wants to say that everything he did you loved it like that Rio: Well no one believes him or will listen so Indie: then what you hiding for Indie: you dont say that but do this Rio: because I don't want to be there alright Indie: why tho Rio: Same reasons you don't Indie: where you gonna be Rio: I haven't decided where I'll end up yet Rio: but I'm going back to London with Buster for a bit Indie: safe Rio: I know that's not how you really feel Rio: but that's what I've got to do Indie: you do you Indie: ill do me and that's how it is now Rio: You still have everyone else Indie: i kno i got heads Indie: im good Indie: got all my boys including my main 💘 Rio: Yeah, them too Indie: its jam Indie: got my own back above it too Rio: I know Rio: You don't have to pretend it's all alright Rio: it's fucked Indie: like it hasnt been from when Rio: exactly Rio: so stick with the fam Rio: don't make it harder on yourself, no one wants you to Indie: tell yourself Indie: i dont need you to school me rn its hols still Rio: Be serious Indie: how serious you want it Rio: Admit that you aren't alright, accept the help people want to give you Rio: and do what I say Rio: or I will come back and force you to too Indie: i cant Rio: You can Rio: I know you can Indie: i need air from this too Indie: why is that only for you Rio: Because you're only 14 Rio: you can't do this on your own Rio: you can still be out all day and all night but don't forget that that's your base and that's your people Indie: im grown enough when thats how you want it Indie: and him Rio: Because I let you come to some parties with me and didn't baby you? Rio: It isn't the same Rio: I never made you do anything that was actually inappropriate, and I didn't love it when you were getting high 24/7 to cope, I never acted like I did Rio: so don't even start Indie: dont make me now then Rio: I'm telling you Rio: I'll come home right now, yeah Indie: nah Rio: No, I'm going to Indie: be in london or our ends, be where you want Indie: not for me tho Indie: if your around me hes around you Indie: that aint how this is playing out Rio: Not if we're home Rio: he's got some sense, fucking hell Rio: that's how it's going to be, this isn't happening, we should all be under one roof Indie: dont law me Indie: i aint owned by you Indie: you said you dont wanna be there Indie: im not carrying that i fucking cant Rio: You don't just get to do what you want, you're a child, I'm barely not one Rio: this is how we got here Indie: we got here cos of him Indie: hes not running me Indie: not ever Indie: ill do what i want Rio: Yeah, he ain't Rio: because he doesn't know how to be a fucking parent Rio: you'll get taken into care if you aren't careful Indie: thats what youre gonna chat now Indie: the baitest line you can pull Indie: thats been over me since i was born into this Indie: but where am i Indie: still Rio: because everyone else made sure you stayed here Rio: if you reckon that was the wrong decision then you can feel hard done by but everyone was just doing their best for you, what seemed best at the time Indie: i aint living like ive turned from them Indie: dont be extra Rio: Good Rio: don't Indie: if i need to make things lighter on myself i will Indie: you cant force me to be anywhere Rio: Yeah what do I know Rio: Do what you like, it's gonna be a laugh a minute Indie: im not vibing for that much of a jump off Indie: just not this Indie: let me be with people who dont kno Indie: why is that something to get the feds out over Rio: Because I was never saying you couldn't be, I don't know why you're coming at me with that Rio: but you need to promise me you're not going to keep away from the fam completely and you won't and I'm not thick Rio: I know what that means Indie: Edie gets to do it Indie: wheres her come through Rio: She doesn't Rio: she just does it Rio: we're all trying to sort that every fucking day, don't get it twisted babe Indie: how cant i Indie: everything else is Rio: I know Rio: but we don't need to be throwing more shit to sort onto the pile you feel Indie: i cant give you what you need Indie: i cant handle this Indie: i barely had my head around how it was trying to be w him and my step ma and the younger Indie: what is this Rio: I'm not asking you for anything, how can I when I'm letting you down so hard Rio: I don't know, it's fucked, everything is fucked Rio: you're still going to have a younger though, she's not going anywhere Indie: like how Edie didnt yeah? Indie: i wont be allowed near Indie: she didnt like me fore this Rio: She's a messed up kid, you are too Rio: it isn't personal, she just needs to blame us all for the shit that's in her head and I can't really blame her Rio: it's easy for us to all sit back and say well it's all Drew so don't look at us Rio: but he ain't the fucking boogeyman, whatever he is Indie: he still takes everything from me Indie: it'll play down to the next Indie: another messed up kid and then Rio: Yeah, it shouldn't have happened Rio: we can't actually castrate him though Indie: he gives me a sister to take her away again Indie: no way im playing happy families w his failed wifey am i Rio: Ro will always let you see Astrid Rio: she ain't like that, again, whatever she is Rio: you don't have to be her best friend to see your sister Indie: she didnt want me around when she was 😍 itll be less now shes 💔 Rio: She just doesn't know how to handle people Rio: fullstop Rio: it wasn't because of you Indie: you can chat that but what she doesnt kno how to handle is reminders of how he be Indie: thats me Indie: i came for her perfect image and now im an i told you so Rio: You're nothing like him, just in looks Rio: whatever grievance she has with Drew, is with him Rio: and frankly she should have sorted long ago but regardless, it ain't on you Indie: nah cos im from him, my ma everything back then he aint learned from it Indie: who wants to know that bout someone whenever they have to see me coming through Rio: You aren't that, to us you're you Rio: and to the olders, you remind them if your Ma, and all the good there Rio: No one needs reminding of his fuckups because he's still alive and out here making 'em, come on Indie: how did he want another kid and not us Rio: I don't think he did want her Rio: Sorry but Indie: I don't want to be in my head Indie: this place Indie: none Rio: I know Rio: Me either Indie: I'm sorry i didnt stay at the baby shower Indie: maybe if i wasnt so high Indie: idk man Rio: You can't blame yourself, none of us can Indie: i wasnt in your corner Rio: He was going to make that happen, he'd decided and that's how he rolls, fuck whatever any of us want or do or say Rio: You were, things were good, they don't have to change, we don't, you and me Indie: i can stop him sometimes Indie: if hes feeling it he listens to me Rio: Yeah, I'm not trying to take what you do have with him Rio: but likewise, not going to let you try to carry that burden, he's grown, he makes choices and even if you ain't got there to try and stop him, it's NEVER on you, alright Indie: me and him are rinsed out Indie: hes too on top to be around Indie: i vibe the chaos but i cant let him do me this way any more Indie: he tried to take you from me like its no thing and play it out like thats how you wanted it for long Indie: i cant unhear him how he chatted at me Rio: I'm really sorry, Inds Rio: wasteman or not, you shouldn't have to be out here calling time, but I understand and respect why and how you gotta Rio: Whatever you need, alright? You know you got me, I can get us a new place, we can go home, anything Rio: but you can take time too, you don't need to decide anything else rn Indie: he aint gonna heed it and i kno that Indie: its another reason i need to go Indie: my mans will protect me i aint gonna make you Indie: you gotta let mckenna do what he do and make it less Indie: take the air he aint trying to give none of us you kno Indie: i been a brat on how this convo went down Indie: ive got too much love for you to play you Rio: I know, he doesn't Rio: I want to, swear Rio: but maybe we both need time Rio: long as you promise to tell me when you need me to come back, I mean it, like, say the word when you need and there's no backlash of any kind alright Indie: I want you back now, for real Indie: but we all tripping off this Indie: and you need to get your head right too Indie: what he did its not just gonna be no thing cos thats easier you feel me Indie: same as how he cant switch now and need me to stand in for everything he lost Indie: he aint no dad to me Rio: You're right Rio: on all of it Rio: when'd you get so smart? Indie: im just 🚀 makes me sound it Indie: stoner wisdom be like Rio: Nah, I know that sound babe and it's usually total 💩 Indie: i miss you Indie: im not trying to but its real Rio: I miss you too Rio: we can still meet up, however long I gotta be away, I won't stay gone you know Indie: dont swerve me once you living lavish in london with that posh boy Rio: As if Rio: 24 'til I die, like Indie: how we gonna get the flat back Rio: tell the 'RA lads the address and they can firebomb him out? Rio: nah, we'll think of something though Indie: when everythings there but i kno he is Indie: im wearing creeps garms like im his rn Rio: I made Buster go for me, thank God he weren't there yet Rio: You could get Creeps to bell him for some gear and send him on a wild goose chase, pack as much as you can and duck out Rio: do it multiple times and take your stuff back home, even if you drop it whilst everyone's out, just so you've got a base that ain't got him in yeah? Indie: the excuse for why my homework aint done be 🔥 tho Indie: but yeah we riding cos thats a sick move Rio: Honestly Rio: this School this town so fucking sick of this fam Rio: lowkey hilarious if it weren't so dred Indie: innit Indie: if he wanna be my daddy so bad why he not writing me a note to get me outta detention Indie: 👀 you drew Rio: Teachers thinking you forged it 'cos who??? Indie: 🤔😂 Indie: markos here Indie: gotta bounce Rio: Oh, alright babe Rio: talk later 🧡 Indie: ✌

[punkscowardschampions]

Indie & Rio

Indie: are you done w him yet cos i have a question like Rio: Sorry Rio: Fire away Indie: serious how do i make it that good Indie: without meshing mckenna Rio: Honestly? You just find out with experience, what you do and don't like, then you have to ask for that Rio: then you ask them what they like and if they know you can do it Rio: most lads your age haven't got a clue but are easily pleased so Indie: 😒💔😒💔 Indie: not what I was hoping youd hit me w Indie: I dont have experience & he does Rio: Soz, if this was Cosmo I'd give you some weird ass tips involving household items but I ain't gonna do you like that Rio: You can get experience with yourself Indie: thats such a ma answer 😂 Rio: It's true tho babe 😂 Rio: Why, didn't you like it? Indie: i was shook i still am Rio: 'Course you were Rio: It's a big deal Indie: not too any other heads in these endz just this bitch here being cringe bout it Rio: Nah, people always lie about that shit Rio: whether it's under or over hyping Indie: we got both cos im amp and hes not bothered is that just how its destined or Rio: How you know that for sure? Indie: 👀 & 👂 Rio: There's so many answers that ain't that still though Rio: 'less I'm missing something Rio: he could be playing it cool 'cos he's as hyped, for example Rio: or just fucking hungover 'cos you know, ain't we all a bit Indie: nah cos last night isnt the only Rio: What you mean? Indie: since i gave him everything now he dont want it Indie: thats how it goes Indie: talking at new ones and bout his olds and how they be like im not there Rio: What a prick Rio: That's not on Indie: cos he dont wanna roll w no tourist which is how i am to this Rio: Nah, don't get it twisted, he don't wanna roll, period Rio: playing a numbers game like a typical teenage boy who's spent too much time alone in his room 🎮👌🍆 Rio: this isn't anything you did or didn't do, fuck that noise Indie: yeah cos i made the chase sick but then couldnt come through how he needed beyond that Indie: just school me and then Rio: Babe Rio: If he don't fuck with loyalty then he don't, that's on him not you Rio: doesn't mean you weren't good and even if you weren't, fuck getting better for a wasteman who ain't trying for you how you need it Indie: its what drew reckons too it aint just me chatting Indie: help me step my game up thats how you do Indie: he was with his previous for time i can make me stay for me too like Rio: What does he know, like Rio: I mean I can show you some things, yeah, but you gotta feel it and feel yourself, you know Indie: hes a lad & he knows the game, how they think & do idk he was on it with what he was saying i felt it Rio: You wanna get on a lad like your Dad Rio: they ain't all the same Indie: cos you landed mckenna & you outta that madness Indie: theyre the same for me Rio: I ain't saying a lot of 'em aren't shit, but like Rio: what about lads like your mates, they're all alright Rio: it ain't one extreme or the other Indie: to roll with if i was trying to link em theyd doing it exactly Indie: rudeboys my age want they want & get it how they do Rio: alright but idc 'bout them Rio: what do YOU want, Inds? Indie: I want him to feel for me how i do for him Indie: like he can do anything to me and wants to Rio: You reckon boys your age get it how they do Rio: so do like them Rio: how'd a fuckboy get your attention? Indie: it aint gonna go that way Indie: he scares me Indie: theres no power in it for me Rio: What scares you about it? Indie: im fallin all the time Indie: its deep and its heavy and its a total madness Rio: Oh baby Rio: If I had the answer to that shit, I'd be selling it for the 💸 and good of us all Indie: he makes me feel owned not like 💍 but 🤡 Indie: i cant do for him anything Indie: boys dont play me i play them 'cept now Rio: That is scary, no avoiding it Rio: Best you can do is front the bad bitch still, even when you ain't feeling it Indie: id let him put a baby in me when were olders and living that and he cant turn from edie for me Indie: what is that gonna be Indie: im just like my ma arent I Rio: Don't say it like a bad thing, your Ma was awesome Indie: nah Rio: She was though Indie: your ma can front it cos she got love for her Indie: if she was she'd be here Rio: nah, she don't get to be reduced to just how she died when her life was more than that Indie: she let him run her & i was never trying to be that but this is me younger and letting a boy play me Rio: You aren't that Rio: and I won't let that play out like that Indie: im over having my own back innit i wanted him to carry Rio: ain't a crime Rio: you got so many of us though, even if a boy does you dirty Rio: you ain't alone Indie: i feel it today Rio: I'm sorry Rio: Do you want to go somewhere with me Rio: I can get rid of Buster but I can't hang with Drew all day getting high, that's all Indie: idc bout mckenna but I want Drew to go Indie: theres a vibe Rio: We'll get rid of him Rio: or duck out home, he can sit here himself if he likes Indie: do you feel it or am i that faded on this 🚬 Rio: Nah, I do Rio: sure we didn't help, sorry again Indie: it's chill Indie: i would if i could Rio: gimme a sec to get decent and we'll bounce Indie: has he hated mckenna proper since the start or is it just since you two started riding each other? Rio: idk what else his reasoning would be tbh Rio: say what you like, he ain't that bad Indie: but he aint your hot half bro Indie: makes no sense Indie: you two can link up if you want Rio: you'd have to ask him, babe, but i wouldn't bother Rio: taking the moral highground on this one, i guess, idc Indie: is caleb home? he needs to cook for me cos mckenna is lax at providing Indie: that breakfast was dred Rio: i'll bell ahead and see if not we'll swing by the restaurant init Rio: did he try and make you eat something healthy? 😂 Indie: safe Indie: shouldve known not to trust a posh boy innit Indie: sneaky greens up in everything like Rio: gotta get those vitamins babe Rio: how cute Indie: youre so whipped for him i cant be listening to none of your words 😂 Rio: Shh 😜 Indie: tell yourself Indie: but nah cos its well too late Indie: 👀 & 👂 man Rio: Erm you keep them 👀 down, I know that door was closed Indie: you two are so amp for each other you aint always keepin it behind em Rio: I know, but it's hard 😩😂 Rio: Honestly, the fact only you and Drew know has me worried for this fam and their senses, like Indie: 😉😉 hes hard is how you mean Indie: standard Indie: might be a tourist still but i aint bait Rio: Don't be nasty 😏 Indie: tell him Indie: that boy so horny for you its a pure madness Rio: you been knew i'm peng gurl come on Indie: making me shook about myself Indie: its rude Rio: 💔 Rio: you ain't gotta be like me Indie: gurl please im not gonna seckle for less than Indie: youre goals Indie: 🔥🔥🔥 Rio: you're a babe Rio: need you about, only one Indie, like Rio: Mum enough for you? Indie: 😂 Indie: does that make mckenna my new daddy 😉 Rio: Watch it 😉 Indie: ✌ thats a yeah if i heard one ever Indie: ill get his take on my 🍒💔 Indie: but not over food like Rio: It's a gonna be a bit weird for us all if we both call him that but not trying to give you incentive biatch 😜 Rio: probably not in front of my actual da either, unless you want his input too Indie: 😂😂😂 Indie: I aint trying to call nobody that Rio: Fair Rio: Can whack it out when you wanna throw subtle shade Indie: innit Indie: marko can dash me fore that word comes outta my mouth Rio: Deffo, you don't need to be on that hype Indie: he called me baby the other day boy please im grown Indie: stop playing Rio: 😂 Rio: See, boy got no clue Indie: him on that shelta and me on my 🍀 aint no wonder we got crossed wires bitch Rio: Sometimes it's better when you ain't know what they 🗣 Rio: Done that, or pretended I ain't fluent like 👋 Indie: innit tho Indie: me on your fams hype like im from there too sometimes Rio: Multilingual and ready to mingle 💃 Indie: bit late to switch that with him but Rio: You know, babe Rio: how you think I got stuck with him 🙄 nightmare, like Indie: fix my face? i gotta be fresh for all the 📷 imma lure this boy back w Indie: a bitch knows how to take a nude least Rio: 'Course Rio: but you best not be putting your face in no nudes Rio: you need denialabilty for so many reasons, main one being its technically CP Indie: no shit my face is for all the snaps to show what a sick time im having Indie: not missing him at all Indie: the nudes are for when he remembers hes missing me Rio: That's allowed then Rio: 👍 Rio: Proceed Indie: i gotta say if tho cos hes still giving me the most air ever Indie: 💔💔💔 Rio: You're gonna fake it so hard you'll actually get there, trust Indie: last nite was so bangin til she fucked it up for me Rio: I know, babe Indie: do you reckon he wouldve Indie: with her Rio: Nah Rio: I mean, idk the lad and he sounds like a bit of a twat but Rio: sure he ain't gonna do you like that Indie: shes got ways tho Rio: She just ain't afraid of anything Rio: it works in her favour sometimes, other times it don't Indie: im not scared of no thing either Rio: 'Course Rio: but you know Rio: Edie not in a good way Indie: yeah Indie: on the subject drew wont go Indie: aint about leaving him here around all our shit but not trying to stay Indie: reckons he needs to chat at you Rio: Right Rio: I'm coming 🙄 ffs man Indie: is mckenna coming home w us? Rio: Up to you, babe Indie: it aint vexing or hyping me either way Indie: if he wants to be schooled for what proper food is Rio: 😂 he's swearing down it was Nance's fault but idk Rio: either way, we got a date so I gotta kick Drew to the curb Indie: standard she does eat how a 🐰 do Indie: he aint done me dirty fore so daddy can have another shot at winning me Rio: I'll let him know, in roughly those words �� Indie: tell the boy he gotta get in my snaps 👌 Indie: make me 👑💖 Rio: Gurl, it's literally still a sore subject but we will brawl s2g 😂 Indie: jam mama Indie: not trying to co-ord these bruises Rio: 😘 Rio: Stay 'way from him fr then you get me 👀 Indie: he's just a peng piece of staging Indie: not trying to ride it Rio: s'all 💕 up in here Rio: will be when we've 👋 anyway Indie: i wanna get done again now im 🍒 popped but he can chill on it Indie: not my speed Indie: and I'm too 😍😍😍 Rio: You a fool Rio: but I love ya Indie: you've been chatting at the old man for long Indie: come through w you Indie: ✌✌ Rio: 🙄 no need to tell me, he's in a chatting mood Rio: aight Rio: coming

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: this is why i don't wear shoes Ali: i have lost one??? Ali: rescue it if you see it Carly: what do they look like Ali: just a kinda tan sandal thing Ali: just a penneys special so not the end of the world, should chuck the other one so someone can have the pair Carly: come & bring me food & then youll be here to reunite them Carly: but yea k will lean out my door & see if its there Ali: love the enthusiasm, babe 😜 Ali: can feel your come down from here Carly: dont barely remember the come up Carly: wtf happened last night Ali: not in a much better position myself but uhm Ali: mayhem, that's for sure Ali: i think you might've gone home with the wrong cousin Carly: shit Carly: my bad Carly: better read my txts Carly: who did you go w ? Ali: didn't go that far with anyone Ali: 💍 remember and such a 😇 Ali: ronan was in a mard though and i weren't up for listening to that so 🤷 Carly: aw Carly: sorry baby i'll calm him down Ali: it's chill 😂 bless him Ali: no need on my account tho i'm sure he'd be down, despite protests otherwise Carly: my inbox is Carly: cba w this rn Ali: oh baby, want a bacon sarnie and a secretary? Carly: yea Carly: gonna throw my phone w your shoe Ali: i woke up to a mystery dickpic on my phone Ali: is it rude to ask which one it belongs to because lads, sorry, not that memorable that i'm picking it out of a line-up Ali: you'll know, been more recent, i'll come over with food and lucozade for real and ruin your day with that lovely image and the actually rather creative sexts that went with it Ali: 10/10 for effort, sir Carly: cant put it on the cv or school report but my memory for 'em is good Carly: if ive seen it i'll id it Carly: ill laff if its the large ginge cousin whose name i never got Carly: sounded like a cough Ali: that's a talent and if the man can't see that, fuck him Ali: and his job in tescos, like Ali: i mean, shouldn't have a preference but i hope not 😂 Ali: soz honey but Carly: thanks baby Carly: I hope its that token english Carly: he was fit Ali: can reply if you like Ali: worse ways to waste a sunday morning than messing with boys Ali: sounding like a priest Ali: oops Carly: ha Carly: i found some fucking funny vids of us so maybe the phone shouldnt go out window before youve had a look Ali: yes, i need to see that Carly: [sends her fave of the vids] Ali: aww Ali: we're fun drunks Ali: love that for us Carly: yea Carly: im a messy bitch tho Carly: no wonder i went w the hero cousin Ali: meh, things happen at parties, everyone knows that Ali: not like you're proper attached is it Ali: though he's gonna be annoying now probs but day in the life when you're irresistible, yeah? Carly: youd know babe Carly: he wont be on site long never is Carly: so idc Carly: saved me for a nite boy youre welcome Ali: duh Ali: hottest couple in town Ali: one for the wank bank anyway Carly: yea & he is fit Carly: give him that Carly: esp when i dont understand what hes saying Ali: the best kind Ali: a boy you don't have to speak to 😜 Ali: if that's all it takes like, whip out the Gaeilge Carly: youve got the giggles but yea Carly: true Carly: but on site id just have all the oldies chatting at me if i could Carly: not trying to make them go weak Ali: they ain't daddies? boo 😥 Carly: some got many kids but thats it Carly: say something to me then Ali: [sends voice memo, probably has dirty words she'd recognise from site life and lots of loling] Carly: k Carly: so hot Carly: if your gf is mad at me for stealing you last nite you can smooth things over w her like that Ali: might have to Ali: though it ain't you she's 😤 with Ali: poor ronan, shoulda done more than snog him if she comes for him, not even worth it for that Carly: ill protect him when he lets me back near Carly: cant stay mad at this Carly: sure your girls the same Ali: She's mad 24/7 babe, just gotta hold on, like 😂 Ali: we want different things now but that's not a convo for this morning like jesus Carly: whos got the energy Carly: cba w angry Carly: yea you want a sarnie Ali: exactly, and i wanted to have fun last night but may as well have said i want his dick in or around my mouth k bye babe Carly: ha Carly: that would be fun tho Ali: tell that to past you, dashing his threesome dreams like 🤷💔 Carly: still time Ali: not me you need to promise baby Carly: yea but id rather talk to you Ali: 💚 Ali: you cute Carly: all you Carly: how you look so good coming from band? wtf Ali: psh please Ali: it was all about you 🙇 Carly: if that was true why is every memory i got from last nite just you Carly: facts Ali: had to get you away from that mirror somehow, like 😉 Ali: it was fun Carly: ha Carly: cuz your talents got me like Carly: yea it was Ali: helps when the canvas already beautiful babe Carly: aw Carly: youre sweet Ali: 🍓 Carly: gonna make me cry Ali: don't cry lil one Ali: the bacon is coming Ali: got roped into doing a shady kid swap, where is my ma, take this demon child Carly: you can bring him if you want Carly: ill put clothes on before Ali: cockblocked again 😉 Ali: nah, he needs to go get shoes Ali: ironically and unlucky, twat Carly: what size is he Carly: i can ask around when i look for yours Carly: lads flog everything and anything here on sundays Ali: his feet are big man Ali: he's only little but he's lanky af, unlike me Ali: that's fun tho Ali: imma go shopping Carly: aw Carly: yea wish i was taller Carly: ffs ma and da Ali: literally Ali: least neither of my sisters are model tall or i'd be more raging Ali: we make it work, babe Carly: & i dont have any sisters Carly: well done on that one tho ma & da Ali: speak for yourself Ali: i'm gutted Carly: oww Carly: trying to replace me like the vows were no thing Ali: you know you're my one and only Ali: but a woman got needs Carly: thats what your gf is for Carly: no Ali: yeah but i'm allowed wishful thinking too Ali: damn Carly: ive given you the mental image of me naked Carly: what more you need Ali: are you jealous of your hypothetical sister? Carly: yea if you like her more Ali: aw baby, 'course not Ali: she's a ride, yeah, but bit of a bitch too, like Carly: ha Carly: takes after our ma like Ali: sadly, straighter than you Ali: 👎 Carly: like theres a ranking Carly: just straight or not yea Ali: I mean, it is a scale but I'm not gonna try and bond with your Ma giving her the test for it, like Ali: could we tie her down for a sec, obvs Carly: hit her when shes washing up Carly: takes long Ali: okay, i'll dry 😉 Ali: what an offer Carly: trying to make me vom now Carly: take crying or blushing over Ali: soz babe Carly: her & my da dont fuck but still dont reckon youre her type Ali: don't know what's worse, that, or knowing they do Carly: im good w them not Carly: sound carries Carly: no secrets in the caravan Ali: sure there's a toilet block they could go to Ali: keeping it sexy Carly: sure my da's there doing his cry wank Carly: while my ma checks the talent Carly: we got that to look forward to in our marriage in a few years Ali: who's scouting who's cranking Ali: because frankly, i refuse either Carly: im the biggest slag so probs me Carly: sorry Ali: and I'm not Ali: igloo sisters how many times now?! 😂 Carly: ha Carly: but youre loyal Carly: me and my ma dont kno the meaning like Ali: am i Ali: you miss the part when i got on ronan Carly: o yea Carly: i forgot Ali: idk what i'm gonna do about that Ali: instant gameover but its literally so irrelevant Carly: hes a ride Carly: you should be excused for it Ali: she's a 6 on that scale, yeah, massive gay Ali: so she ain't seeing that, never mind the other shit Carly: shit yea Carly: dont tell her Ali: does that make me the worst? Ali: i should hm Carly: hes not gonna speak to her Carly: and if he brags you can call it that Ali: Yeah Ali: I don't know Carly: its that or tell her Carly: & say youre sorry Carly: we were all wasted Carly: not like you have feelings for him Ali: You're right, obviously Ali: like that's the truth but yeah Ali: might leave it unless I need to go there Ali: soz God, swing by confession later Carly: tell her youre a bi cliche Carly: she'd love it Carly: use the scale Ali: she would tho Ali: validate everything she's ever sneaky or not so thought about me Ali: soz, i need a constant stream of p n v or i die Carly: a girl has needs Carly: what am i a 1? Ali: its like dis Ali: 1- all straight 2- mostly straight but lil gay 3- equal/bi 4- mostly gay but still lil into opposite 5- total gay Ali: but not gonna resist the urge to tell you you a 10 Carly: 🥇 Carly: i like that you're 3 tho. 3's a lucky number Ali: and a magic one 🔮 Carly: yea cuz youre magical Ali: believe it baby Carly: i do Ali: right, finally leaving, be like 10 Ali: doing the opposite to a walk of shame rn, strutting back in like what's good Carly: you gotta Carly: own it baby Carly: havent found your shoe tho sorry Carly: maybe ronan took it cuz he loves you so bad Ali: 😂 oh my god Ali: like a horny puppy Carly: yea Carly: building a shrine to you rn probs Ali: or he wanna play cinderella Ali: such a ridiculous fairytale, as far as they go Carly: how wasted was the prince that he cant remember what she looks like Carly: k been there but not trying to wife anyone Ali: right?! also, sure plenty of bitches a size 5, like??? Ali: was it a magic shoe Ali: no explanation, frankly Carly: yea like me and you have the same size Carly: ill take your prince for a ride bitch Ali: 😂 Ali: he cool with that Ali: that's the tea Ali: boy gives no fucks, long as it ain't a man in drag Carly: he hasnt met your brother tho Carly: boy looks good Ali: eww Ali: stop that thought right there Carly: dont get jealous Carly: not gonna go there Ali: not jealous, but repulsed 😷 Carly: k babe Carly: if you say so Ali: trust, you wanna see jealous you'll see it soon enough if you go there Ali: 😂 bea don't fuck about Carly: have to go for one of your other hot brothers Ali: trying be my sister in law and wife Ali: kickin it country Carly: you kno Carly: been on site too long Ali: forreal, not gotta hang with the traveller lads that hard baby Carly: after last nite not gonna be hanging w them for a while Ali: let 'em fight it out amongst themselves Ali: defs for the best Carly: yea Carly: hide w me babe Carly: gonna be so bored Ali: gonna Ali: i'll peep their wares another day Ali: not a euphemism Carly: sounds dirty tho Ali: yeah, regretted it as i said it but hey Ali: love me a sale and a gypsy boy Carly: no regrets boo Carly: they love you too Carly: esp whoever send the dick pic Ali: the real mystery Ali: soz everyone else with your drama but we gotta know Carly: i do need to be knowing Carly: thats my wife lads Ali: awh you gonna defend my honour n delicate sensibilities Carly: yea Carly: youre an angel Ali: you're so cute Carly: its you Carly: my parents came back Carly: gonna have to run Ali: oh no i am en route Ali: where you going boo Carly: i'll catch you and we can find somewhere theyre not Carly: ha church Carly: can you eat there cuz im not looking to die for jesus Ali: yeah for sure, not in the pews like its the cinema, like Ali: can go park if you wanna Ali: or up the mountain if you can hack it, like Carly: youre so smart Carly: like your mouth Carly: but yea Carly: date time Ali: awh yeah Ali: this picnic ain't goals i'm so sorry babe Ali: least the weather's looking up Carly: idc Carly: get to be w my boo Ali: 😍 Carly: i look crazy Carly: havent got dressed faster w out getting fucked before since idc Carly: idk Ali: i like crazy Ali: and beside me you'll probs look totally normal 😉 Carly: you look hot every day baby Carly: facts Ali: all these compliments got me feeling 🔥 obvs Carly: thats how i want it Ali: gonna have you flying high too Ali: top of the world, baby Carly: aw Carly: whats in the food like Ali: 😂 Ali: just faith n trust n pixiedust, of course Carly: you can snort pixiedust yea? Carly: k Ali: you gon' be mad when i've got nothing but sandwiches and half a donut Carly: nah Carly: cant be mad at you Carly: too cute Ali: and donuts are life Carly: true