#she literally simps for padme. padme does not have the same feelings

[hypersped]

Sabè is gay and delusional pick a fucking struggle queen you're so much better than this. The galaxy is so huge you can do so much better

[thecleverqueer]

Random Thoughts during The Clone Wars Movie:

*Full discretion: I’ve never watched this before. I’ve watched the series (some arcs I’ve watched an embarrassing number of times). I’ve heard people bitch about this being terrible, so I’m excited about it! Here we go!

*Clone radio chatter… Hmm…

*I find it odd that the Jedi would help Jabba the Hutt, but I’ll let it pass. Oh, but of course it’s Palpatine’s idea. Oh, trade routes, blah, blah, blah. Of course, it’s political.

*Wullf Yularen looks so young. Wow. All that dark brown hair and lack of wrinkles (or maybe the lack of wrinkles has to do with the primitive CGI).

*I love how Anakin and Obi-Wan argue like an old married couple. Like, dude… you’re being very, VERY passive aggressive. “Well, it wasn’t MY idea!”

*I’ve never really understood why folks always pet R2-D2’s head. Everyone does it. Literally everyone. Is it because he’s cute, or does he have some sort of circuitry up there that allows him to feel? Both?

*Through all my Ahsoka simping, I don’t talk enough about how much I truly love, LOVE Obi-Wan Kenobi. I adore Obi-Wan Kenobi. He’s such a bad ass. He seems like a guy that should be reading a book quietly in private library some place while sipping tea, and yet here he is out in the galaxy just slaying.

*Why is Anakin being the voice of reason here!? No! He’s right. It absolutely isn’t a good idea to bring a padawan learner into battle like that. It’s war. They’re literally children. You’re making them child soldiers. Stop it! Quit being crazy!

*Holy shit! Ahsoka is so tiny! Obi-Wan is like, “A youngling!?” Oh! Squee! She’s so ridiculously small! Ugh, they should have given the little thing Jedi robes... Poor little ‘Soka!

*Ooo! I didn’t know Ventress was in this. Maybe I did? I don’t know.

*I love Rex. When referring to Ahsoka for the first time, he’s like, “who is this child?”

*Hey! Rex and Ahsoka are having that same conversation from Rebels almost:

Rex says, “In my book, experience outranks everything.” Then Ahsoka goes, “Well if experience outranks everything, then I better start getting some.” Cute. For the record, Rex, she’s definitely going to outrank you… later.

*Obi-Wan is always so quick to surrender. He’s going to choose to charm/ sweet-talk/whore his way out of violence and/ or buy time every time.

*Yikes! Ahsoka f*^%s up royally when attempting to set those charges on that shield generator. She’s just a baby, so you can’t be too mad at her for f*^%ing up like that as she’s really got no business on a battlefield in the first place honestly. “Sorry!” Don’t be sorry, Ahsoka. It’s not your fault.

*Obi-Wan sipping tea. I love to see it.

*That conversation that Anakin has with Ahsoka about her making it as his padawan is so sweet. Then, they start playing Ahsoka’s theme… how adorable!

*Yoda says, “To let go of his pupil, a greater challenge this will be. Master this, Skywalker must.” I get Yoda’s angle here. Anakin’s arduous issues with attachment need to be addressed. It didn’t seem to matter much in the end though. I’d say he did let go of Ahsoka. It was his irrational fear of losing Padme that got him (that and old Palpatine being a manipulative cocksplat).

*The council sending Obi-Wan to make a deal with Jabba because he’s such a smooth talker.

*Wow. A bunch of alien heads on a gurney… This is a kids’ movie.

*Jabba calls his child a “punky muffin.” Interesting. What do the Hutts know of muffins?

*Do monasteries usually have detention levels?

*Holy shit, Ahsoka! A protocol droid calls her a servant girl, and she nearly slices it in half! Not that I don’t appreciate the moment of feminist rage, I do, but, hey, it’s okay there, spunky! Chill. You’ll be a Jedi… well, maybe… jury is still out on that one.

*So, I am 40 minutes in, and I’m trying to figure out why Ahsoka got so much vitriolic hate when people first watched this. She’s clearly stubborn, impatient, reckless, slightly obnoxious and a little arrogant, but she’s just a baby. She’s like 14 here, right? I think? She’s no more annoying than any other teenager would be.

I’m assuming that I’m not being bias here because I fell in love with Ahsoka in Rebels and she can do no wrong in my eyes, but I don’t think that I am? So, what was it? Did folks just have their drawers bunched up so tight about canon breaking or whatever? Could they not overlook her being a typical teenaged turd in this? Was it just because she is a girl?

*Ahsoka already has auntie vibes at 14. IYKYK.

*How dare Ventress force choke Rex! I love his resolve to not do what she says. Oh. Jedi mind trick… never mind.

*OMG! Ahsoka called the droidekas “Rolling death balls.” I can’t.

*Um… aside from “Ahsoka’s Theme” which always brings me joy when I hear it because… Ahsoka… this soundtrack leaves A LOT to be desired. What is this? This kind of reminds me of something I might have heard in The Power Rangers or that X-Men cartoon from the 90s.

*Obi-Wan flirts with everyone. This flirting with Ventress is cracking me up. Now Ventress is flirting back. Is this a ship!? It isn’t as fun as Codywan to me, but hey. Straight ships never are.

*I feel like everyone ends up on Tatooine at some point or another. It’s like a dust-bowl fly trap.

*Yeah. The soundtrack is f*^%ing awful.*Grits teeth*

*Bith Bands on Tatooine > Bith Bands on Coruscant.

*This queer-coded Hutt bothers me. I know I’ve seen him in The Clone Wars, and I know that Filoni tried to sell me on the fact that he was with Sy Snootles, but he’s clearly meant to be a flamboyantly queer, and I’m miffed.

The one constant with homosexual/ queer-coded characters is that we’re ALWAYS the f*^%ing bad guy. Do we make great bad guys? Compelling bad guys? Probably. Gays will go scorched-earth if the occasion warrants it. But, why?! Why must we always be bad? We’re not all bad! Most of us are awesome.

*He’s a southern gay, too. Damn. I just picture him in a swanky gay bar in Atlanta some place hitting on, like, the youngest twink in the room. He probably drives a luxury sedan and is paying for all of the twink’s drinks. Somebody’s getting laid tonight!

*What is up with that feather hat on this queer Hutt’s head? Oh, honey, no…. Why? Why? Why? Filoni should feel shame for this.

*And, what’s going on with that Twi-lek dancer back behind him to the left all but twerking? Get it, girl! Get it! Twerk it!

*Padme getting herself into some shit.

*Okay, Ahsoka calling R2 “artooey” is a little annoying… still not annoying enough to hate her guts.

*I can’t get over this stupid Hutt! Goddammit. Why doesn’t he gurgle and speak Huttese like the rest of the Hutts? Why does he sound like a giant slug from Georgia?! Why, Filoni, why!?

*Awww! Anakin putting his hand on Ahsoka’s shoulder at sunset, and she so stinking cute and small!

*There goes Count Dooku with his force lightning. Force lightning is one of those powers that I wish I had. No. I’d want force storm. To hell with playing around, I want to just lift my hand up and an entire room of enemies drop dead… that was always my favorite power in KOTOR. Just brutal. But, I need to stop. I’m being an evil gay.

*Hold up! Is this Hutt RUNNING a swanky gay bar on Coruscant!? FFS… Ziro shame. Absolutely none….

*Sigh* The luxury sedan is the Star Wars version of a black Cadillac CT5 with white leather interior and a wood grained trim, by the way. He barely fits into it because he’s a goddamned space slug, but he manages. He smokes cheap cigarettes, but only drinks from the top shelf. He has an army of twinks… he won’t remember the name of the one he’s getting wasted tonight... Dammit!

*Dude! Anakin! SMH. He just waltzes into Jabba’s palace and goes, “where’s Ahsoka?” You literally JUST SAW DOOKU’S HOLO OF HER ASS GETTING KICKED BY THREE DROIDS! So… you should have found her before you did anything else. Goddammit man, don’t be an idiot!

*You bring back the slugglet, but Jabba is going to kill your asses anyway (no, not really, we know y’all survive).

*Padme saving the day through diplomacy as Padme does.

*Final thought: it wasn’t as bad as I’d feared.

[fictions-war-among-stars]

I finally finished the OG Star Wars trilogy for the first time!!!

Since the beginning of the year I'd kinda made it my goal to watch all of the Star Wars content in chronological order, because I haven't actually watched it before now! (Also my classes kept including it in the lessons, so it's for research too lol-)

Today though marks a very important date to me, because I just finished the OG trilogy for the very first time!

A very vague non-spoiler reaction, is that I enjoyed it! The first movie was kinda hard to get through, the second a bit better, but I realize that's because the formatting of the story is a bit different than what I'm used to?

To me, it seems like you have to watch all three movies for it to make sense. The first movie set the stage, the second had character development and raised the stakes, and the third closed everything off.

It's kinda hard to explain? Most movies don't do that - they each have the beginning middle and conclusion that very much seperate each film from one another, and connect to one another in a different way?

The closest thing I can think of would be Avengers Infinity War to End Game - you can't watch one without the other. They are meant to be the same story.

My more specific thoughts

I really should have taken notes, but here are my most memorable thoughts on it over all!

This is your last warning - there are spoilers up ahead!

Shakespeare who?

It's super funny to me how much the lines the actors would say would remind me of something out of an old English play

I think what was the most jarring in this sense was how Luke acted during the last of the OG movie. He was no longer a 'farm boy' but now a proper Jedi, and acted very stiff as a result. Yet he was still super dramatic???

Omg wait - have you seen the Romeo and Juliet version with Leonardo DiCaprio???

That has the same energy to me lmao-

One of the biggest things that irritated me whilst watching the prequels was how much the clothing reminded me of 1500 Europe. The clothing itself was really pretty, but the way they used it to sexualize Padme was something I had a LOT of salt with.

While there was a lot of different outfits for Leia, I was surprised that she wasn't as sexualized in her outfits? (With exception of when she was with Jabba - but is that really surprising???)

She was objectified more than I thought necessary, but the scenes with Padme and Anakin in the prequels seem way worst to me...

Whomst do I simp for???

A huge part of why I stick to content is because I simp for a character. The more attached I get to them, the more I want to watch things they're in, and the more I'll buy their merch

I mean, everyone does this lol

I'm actually super surprised though, because I don't simp for anyone in the OG trilogy?

When I was on the outskirts of the fandom, I tried to get into it by reading stuff with the characters and was surprised when I couldn't really find anything good with Luke?

Based on characters I like, Luke seemed like he would be one of them

But I don't find myself attracted to him at all during the films???

Ahsoka Tano is so far still the best and only character I simp lol

Luke / Leia - it's not what you think!

I was really surprised with this one! I thought Luke and Leia actually had a relationship prior to finding out they were related, and there was going to be a whole Oedipus Rex thing going on, but it was just heavy flirting?

It was still REALLY awkward by the last movie though - because they admitted to always kinda knowing in a really dramatic way, but there was quite a bit of sexual tension between them in the two movies before???

It just made me uncomfy :/

Leia / Han?

...please don't kill me, but I don't really ship it?

The iconic I Love you / I know was literally the only time I thought they were cute together?

Oh, along with when Leia took Han out of Carbonite. That was cute

Like He was waking up thinking he would never see her again, and she had spent months trying to track him down to save him-

That was really precious

Their dynamic though, is why I don't ship them

It reminds me of prequel Anakin/Padme, and seems kinda toxic?

Like at points she was clearly telling him no, and he kept teasing and coming onto her

Also they were bickering in a way that isn't good, and just not properly talking things through?

Consent and proper communication is sexy, and that was missing at times

...it still isn't as bad as the prequels though, and there is hope for their relationship to grow and get better

(Insert character here) I am (insert reveal)

There were so many dramatic reveals lol

It's not really a surprise to us now, but Vader and Luke are related, Leia and Luke are related, Vader was Anakin, Vader is Leia's dad-

On that note though!!!!

Vader kinda traumatized Leia in the first movie????

Also how did he know that Luke was his son, but not Leia???

That still makes no sense to me-

I'm probably missing something???

Like the only reason he was going after Luke was to convert him because he was his son-

But if push comes to shove Leia seems more likely to be a Sith than Luke??? She was way more impulsive and emotional at times than Luke???

I feel like trying to convert her would have been easier???

Idk, that was a missed opportunity there :/

OH ALSO!!!

The last movie in the OG just makes Padme's death seem even worst!!!

Like Leia goes on about having vague memories of her mother, but Padme dies in the prequels giving birth to her???

So Leia is either more force sensitive than Luke (my head cannon honestly) or Padme should have raised the twins in secret for a while before dying on like a rebel mission and prior to Vader working beside the Emperor. Then Obi Wan swooped in and relocated the twins

Honestly, both those should be canon to me

Leia being trained with the force is something I really regret not seeing :(

At least there's fanfic

Vader

Vader confused me at first?

He seemed really obedient to the general (i don't remember his name - I think he's the one in Bad Batch and Clone wars???) in the first movie, and followed his orders????

Wait wasn't his name general Tarkin???

It was weird to me because I had just come from SW: Rebels and Rogue One, and Vader seemed like this illusive right hand man to the Emperor

But then he goes and obeys this guy way lower in power to him?

In the second and third movie he gets more power though, so maybe he was supposed to be the empire's dog originally???

Actually, it was weird seeing Vader be as obedient as he was

Anakin was super rebellious, so seeing him as Vader was weird

He was also a lot calmer than I thought he would be. Sith rely on anger and emotions to fuel them don't they???

...I didn't like the interaction between him and Obi Wan very much also

Jedi training line

So Obi Wan was originally trained directly under Yoda himself???

And Qui Gon and Dooku never existed-

So the entirety of the conflict in the prequels would have been super different to what it is lol

The edits

Since I didn't watch the OG versions, I'm not really aware of all the edits that were made to the movie

There is one though, that is really what spurred me to write this

They really just replaced the head of ghost OG Anakin with prequel Anakin LMAO-

Like-

I'm actually pretty neutral to them doing it since I'm not attached to the OG version but like-

This is just so fucking funny to me-

It's kinda sad though, cause the OG Anakin actor was dead for like 10 years, and then he was replaced with his angsty double

....still funny lmao

I think they also added in a bunch of Jarjars onto the roof of a building in Naboo XD

End thoughts

Overall, I enjoyed the content much more than I thought I would, and would watch it again!

I wish Ahsoka had helped train Luke and Leia ;p She would have been a great teacher, and I think she would have helped Luke and Leia in a way that would have been better for them?

...I really just wasn't a huge fan of Obi Wan. He reminds me of that one meme about movie Dumbledore vs book Dumbledore in Goblet of fire :/

I'm really struggling to find the words for it...

ANYWAY-

I'm super excited to watch the Mandalorian and see Ahsoka again though!!!